#not having a clear idea of peoples feelings of me in relationships tends to cause me to like panic and spiral which is a me problem that

[angelinthefire]

you might have already talked about this but I can’t find it in the tags so forgive me if I’m just asking you to repeat yourself but what are your opinions on jinx becoming zaun’s symbol/hero in season 2? It’s quite divisive as many ppl think that it destroyed her chaos-agent/villainous status and turned her into a boring hero and others think it deserved a lot more screen time and was supposed to be the main focus of her arc? I love reading your thoughts, hope I’m not annoying you

I love getting questions, so thanks for asking! I don't think I've posted about this per se.

I will admit that when I watched the season the first time, I was a little surprised that the show moved on so soon from Jinx's relationship with the rebellion. But I just accepted that they were going somewhere else with the character, and once I saw what they were doing with her, it made sense to me.

Jinx becoming a hero/symbol is almost entirely about the psychological impact the experience has on her, imo.

Jinx's relationship with the rebellion is not about politics. She says outright that winning independence for Zaun was Silco's thing, it wasn't what she actually cared about. She cared about Silco, not Silco's politics. That's made very clear. If her arc was going to focus on politics, then her journey would need to involve starting to care about the struggle. But that's an entirely different journey than the one that she has been on.

Jinx's core trauma is accidentally killing the people she cares about. More broadly, it's the feeling that she's doomed to always screw up and hurt the people around her. Her journey is about dealing with that.

In s2e5, Jinx tells Vi that she sees helping Vander as a kind of do-over. But I think the idea that she could successfully have a do-over started with s2e4, and that was fundamental to her deciding to try to keep up with the do-overs.

Becoming a symbol for Zaun is meaningless to Jinx, because it happened accidentally. But what's not accidental is when she breaks everyone out of Stillwater.

In s2e4 people are in trouble, including someone she cares about. She makes a plan, and successfully executes it. No one is accidentally killed due to her actions. In that way, the experience is a step towards her overcoming her trauma.

At the beginning of season 2, Jinx thinks of herself as a curse. When Sevika tells Jinx that Isha was arrested, Jinx has an episode, again feeling like she jinxes everyone she's close to.

But then when she rescues everyone from Stillwater, there's this moment where everyone looks at her. Jinx is used to putting on a persona, and she tries to do so in this instance as well. "Here I am, your big fat hero." But then everyone looks at her like they really see her. They acknowledge her not as a symbol or persona, but as a person.

She did a good thing. She did a massively good thing. And she was acknowledged for it.

And you can see the impact it has on her. When Gert first puts her hand on Jinx's shoulder, she starts breathing heavily like she's about to panic. She looks both confused and emotional. Like she's never felt something like this before.

(I had to include Jinx's face journey here, it makes me cry).

So yeah, I think the point of Jinx becoming a symbol for Zaun and a hero was to give her that experience. So that she's able to approach Vi again, but this time with a stronger sense of herself, with a greater confidence. So that she and Vi can rebuild their relationship on a new foundation, one where Jinx doesn't invest everything in Vi.

And to a lesser extent, I think Vi seeing other people see Jinx as a hero was important too. And that the chaotic destruction that Jinx tends to bring with her isn't alway a bad thing. When Vi sees that mural of Jinx, placed next to Vander as a hero, that causes a huge amount of dissonance for her, which then pushes her into a confrontation with Jinx, as she struggles to understand who Jinx even is as a person.

Jinx becoming a hero/symbol was not an arc, and it would have never fit organically within what she already had going on. It was a moment in Jinx's ongoing struggle with her identity and trauma. It would not have made sense for it to get more screen time after it had served its purpose for Jinx's character development.

Regarding the notion that Jinx becoming a hero/symbol ruined her chaos agent/villain status, I have very little respect for that opinion, frankly. First of all, Zaun itself is a certain embodiment of chaos, Jinx becoming the hero of Zaun in no way undermines her chaoticness. Second of all, and more importantly, the opinion that Jinx should have been more of a villain, or more chaotic, seems to be based on the expectation that she was going to be a re-skinned version of Harley Quinn (as one semi-popular critical video essay explicitly said). An absolutely MCU-poisoned opinion. A take fit only for babies and philistines. Wild to be mad that Jinx is a complex and layered character.

Jinx's story was always about dealing with her trauma. Both the opinion that she should have been a revolutionary leader, and that she should have gone full-villain, ignore the substance of her story. Jinx being seen as a hero gave her the opportunity to see *herself* in a different light, so that she would have the ability to start making amends with Vi. It was always in service of her personal, individual story.

And like I mentioned above, it makes me cry, so I love it.

Thanks again for the question, I enjoyed answering it!

[ladyloveandjustice]

Summer 2024 Anime Overview: DEAD DEAD DEMONS DEDEDEDE DESTRUCTION

A giant mothership is hovering over Tokyo. The aliens haven’t done anything or even made themselves known yet, but Japan and America are already trying to blow that UFO up, and show off who has the best weapons, causing many civilian casualties along the way. While all this happens, two girls are just casually living their lives. But are they as normal as they appear?

One thing I want to say is if you watch this anime and care about being intensely spoiled, do not watch "episode 0" until you've finished episode 16. It actually slots chronologically between episode 16 and 17, and that's where the episode took place in the manga, so I have no idea why they did that. Fortunately I had someone to warn me about that, so I will be that someone for you.

Dead Dead Demons DeDeDeDe Destruction or De x 8 as I will be calling it, can be really tough show to watch—not because it’s bad, it’s very good, but because of how depressing and visceral it is at times, and how devastatingly accurate it is to the shitshow of our world. This tends to be balanced a bit by the touching friendships (and possibly? More?) of the very likeable cast of teenagers…but you also feel a huge sense of dread about their safety as things ramp up and their stories deepen.

The anime goes hard on criticizing the military industrial complex, Japan’s government, America’s government, xenophobia, treatment of immigrants, rich people, and conspiracy theorists. All things I also hate, so that’s great. What hurts is how you could easily see the events happening—waging war on the aliens despite no provocation, people using an app to to hunt down and slaughter them...

It shows how even some of the protestors of the genocide use their movement to cover their own selfish motivations, meanwhile countries taking the situation as an opportunity to vie for power and dominance, rich government officials lie to their people and abandon them…obviously there's a lot of commentary here on how we dehumanize immigrants and minorities and enable genocides for capitalism and political power.

It's very bleak, and there were a lot of episode that had me just feeling sad, especially comparing it to current events. But there's also this interesting focus on normal people trying to live their lives during this alien "invasion", and the kids who still go through the dramas and upsets of everyday life. And especially the “I’d burn down the world for you” intense emotional relationship between Kadode and Ouran, the two teen girl leads.

Ouran is the main lead, and she’s a chuuni beyond chuuni, acting wacky and cheerful and spouting nonsense-- except if you pay attention, she's saying some pretty valid things—critiques of capitalism, war, government surveillance—but then following it up with something wild like “and that’s why I should rule the world”. You get the sense she’s cloaking an awareness of how shit the world is in humor, and as the show goes on and as her surprisingly intense and weird backstory unfolds, it becomes clear why that is.

The relationship between Ouran and Kadode is the center of everything--their bond IS the show. It's that kind of ride-or-die, I'd-kill-for-you, I'll-be-by-your-side-even-if-the-whole-world-is-against-you, in-every-life-i'd-find-you-and-love-you, soul-bonded, fiery devotion and love. They are the most important person in each other's lives, full stop. It's those kind of relationships that are so transcendent it goes beyond simple definitions of romantic and platonic. In other words, my kind of shit exactly.

But, as far as romance goes, Ouran, at least, is definitely queer and the depths of her determination to keep Kadode safe in a world that wants to destroy her girl that would make Homura Madoka Magica blush. (Kadode is more ambiguous, but she’s definitely soul bonded with Ouran. And honestly should just date Ouran because god she needs to be rescued).

There’s also a gentle empathy for marginalized people underneath all the horror—the girls befriend an alien trying to survive in the guise of a human, and it doesn’t seem like a coincidence that the first person our alien tells absolutely everything to is the gnc/potentially trans person of the group, Makoto (To be specific, they seem to still be figuring out their identity, but they definitely present feminine and specifically came to Tokyo because their small town wouldn’t be okay with how they like to dress). The way Makoto immediately shields their alien friend from others when they make the reveal that they saying “Don’t let them see, it’s not safe” and how it’s followed up by the alien reassuring Makoto that their friends will be okay with it if they take their wig off to swim...it makes the metaphor extremely clear, and it’s always nice when a series can explore marginalized characters both textually and metaphorically.

Through the kids, we get kernels of hope in this story, a reassurance there are kinder people in this world, and a hope that kindness will endure.

As depressing as the story can be, what it has to say is important and it doesn’t hold back in making you see what it’s going for—from the “Cool Japan” logo flashing right before the  Japanese government gives a weapons demonstration that will later kill citizens and destroy innocents...

...to the Trump-alike American President (and let me tell you it’s startling to be watching a show in Japanese and suddenly Donald Trump impression in perfect English) *(had to use the manga here because Crunchyroll didn't close-caption this part :/)

Then there's the American tourists, who were clearly va’d by someone really good at English, potentially a native speaker, and it’s incredibly funny how much of their dialogue has “fuck” in it and seeing the subtitles skip over that. Also much of their dialogue is treating the devastated Japan as a tourist attraction and saying how funny it all is to them. Logan Paul has entered the chat.

De x 8 very clearly hates America and recognizes it as a blood thirsty colonial power, which is correct, but the show is just as hard on it’s own country, saying the Japanese government would happily get back on the colonizing horse if they had an excuse, and many citizwns would mindlessly support them.

A small thing I appreciate is far from the usual anime aesthetic where everyone is blandly cute, the anime gives a ton of people ridiculously cartoony features that make everyone distinct—and being goofy looking is not meant to indicate a character is stupid or ugly—Makoto’s a super sympathetic character with giant cartoon buck teeth and one character that’s even pointed out as pretty has like, a pig snout nose. (It also makes it so the character noted as being drop dead gorgeous...actually is, instead of coming off as just as conventionally attractive as the rest)

Soooo a lot of good stuff going into this story. Let’s talk about some caveats.

There’s a continuing storyline between Kadode and her adult teacher, who takes her to his place to have sex with her. When he does, she ends up ditching him because of her feels for Ouran (gay) and I thought that would be the end of it, but nooope he’s a groomer, they pick up dating again when she’s in college, literally months after the previous encounter. The dude is presented as a scumbag, he cheats on his girlfriend, he seems generally apathetic, his clear discomfort with Kadode calling him “sensei” shows that he knows what he’s doing is wrong …and ultimately the relationship is shown to be unfulfilling, with Kadode directly stating so and acknowledging he’s just advantage. That doesn’t stop it from being uncomfortable though, especially since it’s confirmed he and Kadode have sex eventually (offscreen, thank god) and honestly, I felt it dragged on way too long. The first encounter pretty much demonstrated everything we needed to know about the whole thing in my view.

And of course there’s a ton of potentially triggering content in a story like this—from genocide to suicide to child murder to almost anything you can think of. Also like, one character has a sister complex, but on the milder side for anime. One where it’s conceivably platonic, and it’s not like he goes after her boyfriend Yuri Forger style, so it doesn’t bother me too much. There's also a good dose of fatphobia. And finally moment where a woman reveals she has ADHD (which I've never actually heard anyone say in anime so I actually got a little excited the more fool me) and then is almost immediately shown to be faking it.

The ending…is another big sticking point for me. It feels disconnected from the rest of the series, mainly focusing on a character we barely know and likely don’t care about and spending very little time with the characters we do, presenting an interesting status quo and immediately abandoning it, and while earlier episodes of the series presented "actions have consequences and we gotta live with them" as a major theme, it was suddenly like, actually they don’t!

The ultimate ending, again, hinges on a decision from a character we don’t care about and honestly feels like a deus ex machina. It felt almost like the author really wanted a happier ending but knew that wasn’t in line with the story he’s told so far, so he just tacked it on. Or maybe it was an editorial mandate, who knows. I think the most satisfying way to see watch episode 1-16 as its own pretty satisfying complete story (which works really well), and then treat episodes 0 and 17 as their own separate thing, a potential additional ending but not the definitive one. At least that’s what I did.

Overall, De x 8 is a show with a lot to say and it gives you plenty to chew on. While it is often depressing, it is very rewarding. The unbreakable bond between two messy girls, as well as the moments of ordinary joy and small human/alien journeys are the core of the show, and what makes it shine. I definitely encourage you to give it a watch. It's being really slept on, and it shouldn't be.

[tatumsversion13]

possible TW abuse, necrophilia, pro shipping

please read // accusation of being pro ship and engaging with necro fanfiction

I just came across this and I feel like I need to adress some things.

first of all, I DO NOT condone any glamorization of abuse or necrophilia and it upsets me that some people might think otherwise. I’ve created this account two weeks ago to try and connect with others who enjoy Scream just as much as I do but also as a form to inspire myself through fanfic, fanart, etc. When I’m outside or busy, I tend to mass like posts without further checking the tags or what they’re really about (which is probably not the brightest idea) so I can come back and read them later on. Apparently I’ve liked a fic that contained necrophilia. I was not aware that I had liked it but I’m glad someone brought it to my attention! It was 100% unintentional and I am not interested in reading stuff like that. I should’ve known better and double check before liking posts but I never realised it could be a bad idea because I honestly trusted my algorithm to not show me that kind of content. I didn’t even know people were writing about stuff like that. I understand the confusion but it was definitely not intentional. I apologise for any harm of confusion that may have caused.

pro shipping :

Assuming anon defines pro shipping as a person being okay with the shipping of different fictional characters whether they’re canon or not: honestly I don’t really understand the issue with this. Since when is pro shipping a bad thing? I mean the main reason this blog exists is because of a ship..? I only reblog stuff about stu x billy since that’s the only ship I care about regarding Scream (not including gale and dewey i mean they’re cute but idrc). After all those are FICTIONAL characters?? Most of the people I follow are stuilly shippers and the actors themselves openly talk about shipping their own characters? Besides, why would I care if people have other ships, as long as none if it glorifies things like pedophilia and/or abuse (and no, no matter how toxic, in my opinion and from the fanfics I’ve read so far, Stu and Billy’s relationship does not glorify abuse since all of their intimate acts are consensual).

If you consider pro shipping as shipping without limits (ignoring, condoning or glamorizing abuse, pedophila, necrophilia etc. that’s definitely NOT something I would EVER read or approve.

For the rest, I could care less about other people’s interests in fan FICTION (again, as long as they don’t contain any if the things I just mentioned). Feel free to correct me if I forgot something.

misogyny :

I made a post joking about how I don’t like Sidney in Scream 1/still hold a grudge against her. Not liking a character in a fictional movie does not make me misogynistic and I can’t believe I have to explain that. I absolutely adore Sidney’s character throughout the Scream franchise but I have no problem admitting that I did not like her in Scream 1996 for the simple fact that she killed my favourite characters (and she was just annoying). I know she had to defend herself and it’s a movie. Not liking a fictional character is never that deep and it doesn’t have anything to do with Neve.

Anyways, this is not what I expected to see when I came on here and I’m sorry if this sounds a bit defensive, i’m just tired of people acting like they know anything about others without confronting the person first but I am glad I’ve been made aware and I’ll pay attention to the content I engage with in the future! I hope this cleared things up and I’m sorry again.

P.S. If you have any issues with me regarding something I’ve said or engaged with, I would prefer if you dmed me so we can talk about it personally. Thank you for reading!

[oiblackestsheep]

what, in your opinion, are an intp’s needs in a relationship? (coming from an infj.) love your blog, you’ve got some amazing insights 🫶

Aww, thanks INFJ anon. 🫶 I try my best to have interesting insights that bring something fresh to the table!

INTP's Needs in a Relationship

I've been in the same relationship for 8.5 years (and we actually MET ON TUMBLR BECAUSE OF THIS BLOG WHICH IS SO FUNNY AND NERDY), all of this to say, I've had a lot of time to think about my relationship needs even from the MBTI perspective as an INTP, because that was how my ENFJ and I kinda started out getting to know, like, what we each needed from each other, so, here we go!

Disclaimer: This is assuming that the INTP is already getting everything that everyone needs in a basic healthy relationship like, you know, feeling emotionally safe and being treated with respect, etc..

Intellectual stimulation: INTPs generally love understanding new things and how they work, so ideally their partner can share that interest with them in some way! They can be pretty curious people, so joining them in their quest for uncovering the "how" and "why" of everything will make them feel understood, themselves, and closer to you in the process!

Clear explanations of your feelings: Because INTPs have inferior Fe, they tend to have a habit of intellectualizing their own emotions when they talk about them, which can cause complications with understanding other people's emotions, too. Finding a way to be patient and know that even healthy INTPs might still struggle with connecting with other people's emotions (especially at first in a relationship) isn't necessarily because they don't want to, but more that it doesn't always come naturally, so they don't always know how to. If they're a healthy person, they will want to understand, just try not to take it personally while they are practicing/learning!

Alone time: This one should be pretty straight-forward lmao. They're introverted, so they like to recharge doing solo-activities, and they're intuitives, so they have their own little theoretical world full of bizarre ideas to entertain themselves with that might not always be easy to follow at first. I find that introverts in general (maybe the INxx types even moreso) like to engage in parallel play where their partner also does something quietly nearby, but still a separate activity. As an INFJ, yourself, I'm sure you can relate in your own way, so it's likely easy to give them what they need!

Humor them/hear them out: This might sound a little vague, and I guess in some ways it is, but this is mostly about their auxiliary Ne. ENTPs and ENFPs get most of the attention when it comes to high Ne, but INTPs (and INFPs, too!) place a lot of importance on it, too, which can often manifest itself in conversations like "what if __", "imagine if __", etc.. To put it bluntly, it might seem a bit... directionless, and that's because sometimes it kind of is! It's just about thinking of random possibilities that are non-serious and funny in the moment, and don't really go anywhere else outside of the current discussion or hold any larger, overarching significance. Sometimes it's less about the actual topic itself, and more about having some random fun and "playing along" that makes a world of a difference to a playful INTP (or high Ne user in general). This point got away from me a little bit which I think, in a way, is the perfect exemplification of what I was trying to say in the first place, lmao. Hope that makes sense! If your INTP ever sounds like whatever the hell I just said, just try not to disengage right away, because they probably have a point that they are struggling to reach. Put that dom Ni to work and summarize it for them, I know you can do it from experience with my own ENFJ lmao.

Anyway, uhhhhh: Every single point on this list has gotten progressively longer because my Ne loves extrapolating (and I love Ne, but sometimes its gotta CHILL you know?), so I'm gonna end it here before it gets WILDLY OUT OF CONTROL.

This was a fun question, anon!: Thanks again for reaching out, and basically giving me full range to just write multiple paragraphs about myself and my relationship!

[avatar-legends-confessionblog]

I can't stand Zutara but something about Zutaraang makes me so happy.

I'm convinced every zutara problem could be fixed via zutaraang. (Before I move forward, while I understand if this is tagged anti zutara, I am not anti zutara, I quite like zutara, when I speak of 'problems' it is because there are problems and conflicts in every relationship. There are also plenty with kataang and zukaang but this ask wasn't abt those two.)

So one of the biggest things I think they'd struggle with is they're both so strongwilled, you just KNOW they're gonna bump heads sometimes. Both of them have a tendancy of lashing out with harsh words when they get angry or frusterated. That combined is a recipe for disaster.

Enter Aang, who is repeatedly shown to be a peacemaker. Enter Aang who is repeatedly shown to be able to take bad bahavior and just shrug it off. Enter Aang who'd be the number 1 zutara shipper whether or not he was in that relationship lmao and would be estatic to scheme to set them up toward getting along. (A lot of locking them in a closet tbh)

I also think zutara just tend to make bad decisions together, namely going to kick people's asses (which is also something I love about them lmao, you cannot leave them alone for five minutes before they're plotting some raid on an asshole)

Enter Aang who's literally that meme of the person holding the leash with the gremlin only there's two kwbdjsdbb one of my favorite zutaraang ideas is Aang having a set of rules like, sure, go off and kick ass, but don't get caught and no more than three broken bones please. I think it's a good compromise.

Zutara are neither very subtle. They'd be causing drama and political problems All The Time lmao, collectively the thorn in everyone's side.

Enter Aang who can lie like a snake and be like "that doesn't sound like my Katara and Zuko :0 besides, they were with me that night :) you trust the avatar don't you? :)" And like, who's gonna disagree? That's the avatar. This works almost every time but they're all aware that EVENTUALLY he's not going to be able to pull that off, which is why "don't get caught" is one of the rules ksnfnsndnd

Also, Zuko and Katara have shown to have a tendancy of giving a certain kind of attention that the other would struggle with. Zuko has his severe possesive issues, and Katara gets a little Too determined to help everyone even when they make it clear they want to be left alone. Katara would not react positively to someone trying to control what she can do or who she can talk to, and Zuko tries to fight anyone who dares make him feel even slightly vulnerable when he's not in the right mindset for it jsbdnsndnd

Enter Aang, who would be a fatastic distraction. Zuko's trying to be possessive? Well he can't be posessive over Katara AND Aang at the same time now can he, Aang's probably perfectly happy to let Zuko scare people off sometimes (being the avatar has got to be socially draining.) Katara's prodding at Zuko a little too much? Aang's perfectly happy to have deep conversations about emotions to quell her need for that until Zuko's ready.

I'm just saying, Aang is the perfect bridge between them. I love zutaraang so much. I love these trigger happy idiots and their long suffering pacifist nsbfnsndns

X

[aihoshiino]

Now that the series is ending and we'll never hear a word from Hikaru ever again, I'm very curious to know what Aka would say to describe Hikai's entire dynamics like towards each other, feelings, thoughts etc...even from Takahashi I'd like to know what Aka specifically told her for that one payphone scene.

I know we all already have figured it out (using whatever brainpower left after this shit storm that the latest chapters have brought) and tried to stitch together a cohesive outline(?) to everything hikai related, but hearing the official people speaking on it always adds a nice bonus to everything.

Any thoughts on this? Do you think everything we mostly came up with upto now are all correct and Aka had the same ideas back then? (I say back then because clearly idk tf he did to Hikaru in the recent chapters, Onk ended back at 155 for me.)

Honestly I'm so keen to know how Akasaka described the HKAI dynamic to Takahashi but also just kind of wtf he said to her in general? I'm not sure when she would have been doing her recording for episode 1 but it would have been around the same general timeframe we were getting the first Hikaru lore drops and appearances in the manga, so Akasaka would've at least had a broad idea of who he was supposed to be as a character... But at the same time, the Kamiki we get is SO inconsistent on the page, I think I'm kind of just desperate for some confirmation of wtf even the authorial intent was in that regard because I can't make head or tails of where it all ended up.

I do think for HKAI's dynamic specifically he had a pretty clear image in his mind, though, because a lot of what the fandom predicted and how he was broadly characterized even prior to the Movie Arc getting into the specifics was pretty on point for what ended up being in the manga. Obviously some of the granular details were off, but his deification of Ai, his sense of longing towards her even after her death, the idea that he was trying to preserve her legacy and that the relationship they had was probably extremely codependent were all takes that the fandom largely agreed with on both sides of the language barrier, at least in the spaces I was in.

I do also remember specifically predicting that they broke up over the pregnancy which I still feel quite proud of calling LOL. I remember getting really in my head about it when the Movie Arc was ongoing because the chronology got so penised so having that concretely confirmed and WHY it caused their breakup was nice to chew on during that stretch.

I think the only thing we were wrong about is that the fandom tended to make him a little more, like... proactively possessive/yandere for her and that her death had been a sort of "if I can't have you, I have to kill you" vibe. But the Kamiki we actually got comes across as way more fragile and hollow and even passive in a way I think is really fascinating.

That said. I DO really like yandere freak Kamiki and I'm so glad people still draw it in fandom. Every time someone posts HKAI fanart where Kamiki is looking at her with a facial expression that is at the exact midpoint of "brainmeltingly horny" and "ravenously hungry" my HP gets maxed out <3

[tamsiblings]

okay the saylee conflict in the Message Hoo Boy.

i have So Many Thoughts about this, so possible warning for even longer than usual rambling? we'll see how the post ends up. (i copy + pasted + deleted some of it because i realized they deserved their own posts. but still pretty long)

so before i say any of this, i also want to be clear: none of this is me saying that kaylee doesn't have a right to be upset! the joke simon makes, while not made with malicious intent, is (innocently, but even so) insensitive and in poor taste. i understand why she would be mad at him for it.

okay that preface out of the way:

i think it's natural to assume that the conflict in this conversation starts here:

(note: another scene of the the firefly creators being so unbelievably unafraid to really let an audience Stew in how awkward a moment is. i feel like some shows Want to do this but are afraid of letting it go too long. firefly was a lot of things but it was Not Afraid Of Making The Audience Cringe. lmao. (i'm not immune to this. simon buddy ilu. but if nothing the Look on her face should maybe tell you to stop grinning through this as you're saying it.) (my read/interpretation/headcanon/whatever is that he is having that thing where he is Becoming aware of how awkward a thing is even as he's saying it but can't seem to make the words stop and is trying to keep the jovial momentum going in the hopes that it will not explode. it does not work.))

anyway, i think it's reasonable to think that the conflict starts here because it's what causes the blow-up, but what it would argue starts the conflict (or the reason for the conflict), is when kaylee asks simon to "tell me more good stuff about me", and simon tries (and does pretty well at first!) but gets stuck, too nervous, and he says "i don't know how to [continue describing kaylee's eyes]".

because he is nervous. the above ^^ is, yes, truly not what any girl wants to hear lmao, the idea that he might only be interested because she's essentially 'the only option', but i maintain that is a joke he makes specifically because he is trying to combat nervousness.

there are a fair number of signs simon is pretty nervous throughout the scene. he's embarrassed and tries to make light of it when he's like "and i'm out 12 bits... i sure know how to show a girl a disgusting time." jsshsh. he laughs nervously a lot, he gulps when kaylee asks him to continue saying good things about her, her rubs at his eye and has to break eye contact with her at at least one point. also the fact that directly after, he acknowledges to zoe he's Aware he's not very good at talking to girls in a romantic capacity. as i mentioned before, i don't tend to view simon as having no relationship experience, but i do think he has likely had less overall dating experience than her (or than she assumes) and that is very heavily contributing to his nerves here.

but, perhaps more importantly to what the conflict actually becomes about, simon's nervousness gets in the way of him saying how he actually feels. he Does have trouble being as open and honest and forward as kaylee, and while he makes a pretty good effort here (and i feel like because of how bad the Last thing he says is sjshsh which is admittedly More Memorable, people forget that the first several things he says or tries to say (that she's a genius, that she's always says what she means, that her eyes are pretty) are honestly very sweet. like he makes an earnest effort but when he starts to get overwhelmed, he veers into making a joke that is hurtful not just because it suggests he might only want a relationship with her out of convenience, but because he goes from being honest, open, and communicative with her to shutting down and making a joke that sort of callously intellectualizes something good about her. likes, yes, it starts out as a very specific issue of him saying this thing that hurts her feelings, but i think is ultimately about one of the broader frictions between them, which is that where she's open with her feelings, he functions differently, and sometimes that looks like not caring to her.

which, in turn, is actually a little bit hurtful to simon because he's Not a cold and emotionless robot, he has different ways of expressing his care, and sometimes that can be stumbly and awkward and cause obstacles, but sometimes his way of being caring or emotional is just different than she would express it. in the last two screencaps, she's calling him a robot because she thinks it's callous for him to offer to do tracy's autopsy without being asked - but to him, it's offering to help in the only way he knows how, and being useful is his way of showing he cares.

and really, i do think that openness vs. not and contrasting ways of reflecting what they feel is what the conflict is actually about, because while kaylee is initially very upset by the whole "only option" idea and that back home he must have had many more options, what this is what they really focus on in the above comments. nd the later implicit contrast to tracy is about simon not showing emotion (at least as kaylee perceives it) or how he feels vs. her interest in tracy (even before he turns out to be alive) is because he is seemingly very emotionally expressive, leaving this heartbreaking but eloquent messsage behind. and later he is pretty Direct in his interest for her, outright asking her about her own dating situation, telling her he'd be real unhappy if anything were to happen to her.

which is why i would also point out that while there is certainly a clear romantic point of interest with kaylee and tracy - he is very direct about his attraction right away - i'm not entirely convinced that kaylee was actively considering tracy as a romantic option. i think she was enamored a bit with his charm and his seeming openheartedness and desire to help his family, sizing him up a bit, considering someone who was such a stark contrast to simon and wondering if maybe tracy is more like who she wants to be with. but even before All Hell Breaks Loose (which happens a lot on this show), i think it's worth noting that kaylee has very little to say that indicates an interest in tracy specifically. she praises his desire to help his family and is a bit blushy when he's showing interest in her and they're in close quarters together. but we don't get a lot about what she thinks of or may like about Him. granted, they knew each other for a VERY short time (less than a day, i think), so it's possible that if that hadn't been true, she could have grown a more specific interest in him over time. but tracy is the kind of character who is written to die; he was never being considered as a genuine love interest for kaylee. he's instead there (in this part of the story; obviously there is a lot More going on with him when it comes to mal and zoe) as a representative of someone kaylee thinks it would be simpler to have feelings for - someone who is charming, a smoothtalker, relatively open with his interest with her and open with emotion. but ultimately, he's also someone whose charm can read as a bit performative, who may be open with attraction to kaylee but actively endangered her when the chips were down. and the interest kaylee Does show in him is in a direct response to being at odds with simon.

simon, who is Not a smoothtalker, has trouble conveying his interest in her for a variety of reasons, can be closed off awkward in trying to convey his emotions, and who functions very differently than kaylee herself - but when all is said and done at the end, he is steadfast, and there to hold her hand when things are Bleak.

[vivillainous]

FIC COMMISSION OPENINGS: Slots 1/4

I’m officially opening up my fic commissions like I promised, just before the end of the year! With the holidays coming up, I’d like to be able to support myself a bit extra. If you’ve enjoyed my content and wanted to support in any way, all avenues help, even just sharing this post. I genuinely love creating these stories, and I’m ever grateful for the support and love I’ve received this past year.

Thank you so much!

WHAT I’M WILLING TO WRITE:

Strictly F/F pairings

Body Horror / Psychological Horror

NSFW

Certain BDSM aspects that I’m comfortable with

Romance/Mystery/Thriller

Reasonable age gap relationships

One-shots or mini series multi-fics

WHAT I WON’T WRITE:

Underage

Rape, non-con, or anything close to it

Incest

M/F or M/M pairings

Anything involving Voltron: Legendary Defender or Citrus

Preferably not drabbles

Anything I don’t feel comfortable with

RULES & GUIDELINES:

Much like it is stated above, I am strictly a lesbian writer, meaning that I will only indulge in writing F/F pairings and ships. If my slots are open, you are free to message me here or on my discord (seluneclerics) where we can discuss your prompts and ideas. An essential part of the writing process is describing a clear concept to me, and from there we can bounce off of where you wish for the story to go. This can be in a more detailed explanation or only a few sentences.

I’d prefer being told what scope and length is preferable, seeing as my works tend to be on the longer side.

Typically my writing process takes time. I won’t give a definite amount of time for when a piece will be done, but I can say that I will offer peeks into the work and allow up to two edits into the scenes before an editing fee is incurred.

FANDOMS I’M FAMILIAR WITH:

Resident Evil, House of the Dragon, Arcane, Tomb Raider

Baldur’s Gate 3, Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Legends of Korra

VALORANT, Fire Emblem, Bayonetta, Overwatch, Hades II

Stardew Valley, Elden Ring, Resident Lover, Apex legends, She-ra

Agatha all Along, NANA, The Arcana, league of legends (just to name a few!)

MY RATES:

I don’t charge based off of my time unless I feel that the work will take me a while. My base rate is $2.00 per 100 words. So, something like a 900 word fic would be $18. There is an addition 50 cents charge for every time I have to change a scene following the free edit changes.

WAYS TO CONTACT ME:

Discord - seluneclerics

Email: butchknight00@gmail.com

Bluesky: seluneclerics

Ko-fi - My tip jar!

[iriyaices]

BRO I LOVE UR ART SMM. I THINK I ALREADY ASKED THIS BUT MY MEMORY IS HORRIBLE SO I CANNOT REMEMBER AND BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.

Have you done the anger meter things for the other ninja? Like the one with movie and show? I LOVED your kai one and wanted to know if you have or planned on making the other ninja.

Also if you have just any ninjago movie art at all 😅

AGAIN, LOVE YOUR ART SM

Thank you, I'm really glad you like my work <3<3

About that idea for the show and the movie. I haven't continued drawing yet because I'm still thinking about how to draw. I want them all to be a little bit different from each other because they've had different experiences in life, you know? but I still can't figure it out I hope you can help me figure it out lol

Jay and Zane are quite clear. Jay has higher anxiety than in the show. I Hc that Jay in show studies at home so he doesn't meet many people but movie he always got bullied This makes him have very low self-confidence

About Zane, in movie for me he is much younger than Zane in show. He knew from the beginning that he is a Nindroid. So he learned how to be human from movies and cartoons, which made him not quite himself.

Lloyd is quite simple. He suffers a lot in movie. I Hc that Lloyd met ninjas in high school. That's why he encountered a lot of hate from a young age, causing him to have a lot of trust issues and his self-confidence was very low as well. He was like a stray cat that threatened everyone when the ninja first met him

Oh and kai I never talk about my thoughts, right? To me, Kai and Nya's parents aren't missing, they're just traveling a lot. That makes them a lot more like a sibling relationship than a show so In movie, Kai is much more bright and childish but bc he always smiles and is everyone's sunshine. That makes him tend to keep his other feelings hidden.

The hard part is Cole Nya and Pixel

I'm thinking about Cole being quieter in movie than show Bc they were a group that was often bullied and he wanted to protect his friends. So he set up a wall higher than the show?

for Nya, I really can't think of anything. She probably isn't much different from the show Besides the fact that she no longer had to live on her own and in the movie, she is no longer left behind. I like to think she will be the second leader after Lloyd

Pixel my queen !! I like to think that she has more experience living than Zane She is therefore more human than him but they didn't have the courage to tell everyone that them was a Nindroid //Nindroid is definitely legal and has a life of its own but people still don't accept them that much//

ok im talk too much lol

That is my rough idea. I still don't know how to draw it and I'm not sure

If you guys have any suggestions I would really appreciate it :3

[atarahderek]

Today on: INFP or ADHD?

Perspective taking

I get weekly bonus traits from Genomelink, and this week's trait is as follows:

I find this to be accurate to me. I can see things from others' viewpoints, but that's a skill I had to learn. It does not come naturally to me. So I have to consciously remind myself to slow down and listen, and try to understand where the other person is coming from.

Believe it or not, that is an Fi thing (ftr, I call it "eff-aye," not "fie" or "fee").

Or possibly a neurodivergent thing.

Let me explain...

Fi is kind of self-centered.

Introverted Feeling (Fi) is an analytical function, but what it analyzes are emotions and emotional experiences. Especially in the user. It is the idealism function and has its own idea of how the world should be. It is the moral core function. It is the function that makes the user adhere firmly and stubbornly to their own identity. It does not like compromise, especially on what it perceives to be a moral issue. The Fi-dom in particular has their worldview set in stone by a certain age and they'll be darned if they so much as entertain someone else's. This is why we're kind of easy to offend. Pick on us directly and we'll take it because we value harmony and being able to control our own emotions (we save them for when we want to write you as a character in our stories and then brutally kill that character off). But attack some person, ideal or issue near and dear to our hearts and we'll fly off the handle. And often it does not matter whether that attack is coming from pain or how calm and respectful your argument is. All we see is the attack itself and we lash out. We have to learn not to do this.

Contrast Ti, which is analytical on all fronts and will take an interest in other perspectives purely because they exist. Or Fe, which hears out the other side because it literally cannot do anything else. As the empath function, it feels what the other person is feeling the moment the user is in close proximity to the other person. And it seeks to know more about the source of that feeling so that it can manipulate it to its advantage (Fe can be devious). So for Fe/Ti users, perspective taking comes as naturally as breathing.

So the fact that perspective taking is not an inborn skill for me is definitely the result of my dominant Fi. Unless it's actually the result of ADHD. Because...

ADHD has rejection and anger management issues.

People with ADHD tend to have short tempers compared to neurotypicals. This is because the ADHD brain can be overwhelmed with too much information due to limited working memory (the RAM of the brain) and a deficit in the hormone dopamine which is required to motivate the brain to get to work processing information. This causes the individual to lash out in an attempt to get the flow of information to slow down, organize itself or cease altogether. People with ADHD also internalize all kinds of negative messages about themselves, and that can cause outbursts of anger. When you're angry and overwhelmed with information that you physically cannot process properly, you tend not to listen to people around you. Even if you could focus on what they're saying, you're not going to really hear them when your working memory is overloaded.

ADHD also causes rejection sensitivity. This can create problems in an argument. A person with ADHD can do just fine in a civilized debate. But if the debate becomes a heated argument, ADHD starts to get in the way. The opponent starts to take offense and go on the attack, and that's a clear case of rejection of the other person's viewpoint. This can cause the person with ADHD to either respond in kind and escalate the conflict, or shut down altogether and walk away. Neither response allows the person to hear their opponent's perspective. And it can permanently damage the relationship, as the person with ADHD will often try to avoid the person who rejected their viewpoint so as to avoid a similar conflict.

Undiagnosed neurodivergent people can sometimes be clued into their condition by their inability to consistently practice perception taking. Even if it's a skill they've worked hard to learn, the fact that they still fail at it sometimes can indicate that there's something going on upstairs that's a little more beyond their control than they realize. There may be an underlying cause to your inability to see through another's eyes, and it's not because of some personality flaw.

What do you think? INFP or ADHD?

For my part, I think both my dominant Fi and my ADHD are contributing factors in having to learn and actively practice perspective taking rather than coming by it naturally. I have learned how to do it, and yet I still struggle sometimes to do it when I'm blinded by anger. It's a trap anyone can fall into, but it's definitely something I think the Fi user with ADHD is the most prone to.

[9w1ft]

Hi 9!! How bad do you think Taylor and her dad fell out? Sometimes I think that it can’t have been that bad, and that she forgave him and it’s all in the past. But some songs to me sounds like she’s still referring to him, feeling extremely betrayed. What do you think?

i think people on the internet tend to sensationalize the idea of taylor’s relationship with her dad or use it as a part of some greater narrative when all the while he’s been a continued public presence in her life.

i think its just as likely to be like any other relationship between parent and kid. it’s possible to be annoyed or angry at your dad or parents without having a falling out. doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

it’s clear from what he has said that he cares a ton about her, is super protective of her, and devoted so much of his life to propelling her to where she is today. not every parent does this for their kid. and he’s not relying on her financially either. so it’s my opinion that at the end of the day it comes from a place of love.

i also think that the lyric in the bolter “ever reviled by everyone except her own father” suggests that there are elements of taylor’s personality that she knows that only her dad truly understands. that there is some facet of her that everyone is critical of except for him. that plenty suggests that a bond is there.

i’m not sure which songs you’re thinking of but i feel like for every song ive seen suggested is about him, it works just as well if not better to interpret it as about scott borchetta, or about the collective issues that many men in her life have caused her.

[goddessofroyalty]

YES!! I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE HEXTECH//MIDDLE CLASS JAYCE//ACADEMY BITCHING SO BAD!!

Mostly because it makes me think about the economy of you Au. Weird, I know.

What i find very interesting about it is that their personal economy could be very different.

Yes, Silco is their first investor/associate, he has some input in what they develope but he might not interfere as much as the council. Besides they would develope things to help the people of Zaun, like the gaunlets.

So, the product being mostly and "Zaun" thing means Piltover doesn't intervine until is more or less stablish. At this point the guys would probably has more control over their inventions so they could be in a better financial state, making it difficult for the Council to bully them.

It could make the relationship between the Kiramman and Jayce more interesting. Maybe Cassandra resents him? Feels betrayed because she was the one to "support" him.

And talking about Zaun, it's betterment could be consider a threat to piltover.

It just makes me think about so many things.

I mean I created a verse as an excuse for more domestic and family fluff and then half the time are rambling about the Politics of it. It's not that weird to talk about the economy.

In the Main Version of the verse the Kirramman's do end up being early investors in Hextech. It's just that they're the third investor not the second. Holding off a bit longer because the story they know about the lab explosion is that Jayce nearly blew up their daughter but then after Mel (a foreigner) and Silco (from the Undercity) both invest in it, the Kirrammans (by which I mean Cassandra) suddenly come to the table as investors to regain Piltover influence into it.

Because, yeah, if Silco is the main investor it's going to end up being something that's mostly being used to progress Zaun more. Part of the reason I have the investment set-up the way I do in the main version of the verse is because if Silco actually had majority sway the gates are being exclusively built in Zaun (and he's probably managed to convince Jayce and Viktor to move down into Zaun and has them squirrelled away in some abandoned factory somewhere where they are free to do their science undisturbed). And once they have the gates they can basically take over Piltover's main economy (trade) because they now have the faster trade routes. And he's not going to give Piltover an edge into it if he can because it's not like they helped Zaun out why should Zaun help Piltover out?

I think Silco probably treats it a bit like how he treats Singed's work (and even Jinx') - he's overall fairly hands off but he does expect results. What exactly those results are is much more "something that is useful to me and my cause" than a really clear idea. And, so long as they continue to give him results, he's happy to continue throwing money and resources their way without really watching that closely what they are doing. There's a lot less pitching "this is what we're thinking of building" to him and instead he tends to be shown things at the fairly advanced prototype stage. So the Gauntlets and Hexclaw get built possibly earlier than canon where they were side projects.

On a personal level I think Cassandra does feel betrayed. But I also think Jayce did go to her first as a potential investor and she turned him down (because dangerous unproven thing that nearly blew up her daughter). So she can't actually blame Jayce for it. That's how buisness is. Instead she probably tries to use their history to get some leverage to get Piltover back into the mix to get some control of the Hexgates back into Piltover's (or at least her family's) hands. Whether or not she would be successful is a different question.

Piltover would absolutely see the Hexgates as a threat to them (again they can basically steal Piltover's economy from them). The thing is could they actually destroy them with Silco determined to defend them? And how long do they have after they are built before the damage is already done, Zaun now controls the trade, the foreign groups would now be mad if Piltover destroyed the gates.

An interesting thing to think about is actually if they only have Mel and Silco as investors (so the Kirramman's never join on). Would Mel act as a pseudo-Piltover influence and try and have (at least some of) the gates built in Piltover? Or would she be swayed to instead also refocusing her investment onto Zaun (and therefore be the first Powerful Foreign Investor in a place that's about to have a massive economic boom)

[icarus-does-fall]

It's short an stupid but it fixed the brainrot <3

The hannigram fic idea that suddenly started rotting in my brain<33

I love these two crazy mfers a totally normal and reasonable amount

Somewhere in season 2 ig but like also just sorta an AU lmao

I need hannigram domestic bliss (except they're still crazy<3)

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤. .𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

Will had once again been arrested and then set free because of over lying factors. It was becoming something of a pattern with Will being framed and then coincidently let go because another killer took the fall.

Hannibal, was of course the one still setting up Will, afterall he did stab Will only to moments later confess his love, but he'd be damned if other people kept saving *his* boy.

It was clear these two had a… problematic relationship but Hannibal knew how to be domestic on occasion, and these were one of those occasions.

After stabbing Will and begging for forgiveness while confessing his love, he immediately fled to Italy. Not long after did Will find him, they always knew where the other was. *Somehow*.

So of course Will found himself in Hannibals Italian Villa and one morning Hannibal and Will ended up in the kitchen together, Hannibal was cooking breakfast and Will was being a casual menace.

“William, please put the knives down, I need them to dice the chives.”

“Or I keep holding them, and try to stab you when you get too close.”

Hannibal sighed and continued to prep the needed ingredients for breakfast. “I have already apologized for that, must you keep it over my head forever?”

“No I don't have to, but it's nice seeing you squirm with guilt every time I mention it. More convenient than a gun this early in the morning too.” :3

Hannibal merely gave Will a slightly annoyed look as he took the Knife out of his hands and then kissed Will on the nose before going back to finish breakfast. Will bluescreenned for a moment, while yes Hannibal had admitted his feelings open affection from the man was still a strange concept.

“You're an impossible puzzle to solve Will.”

“Yeah- Anyway whats for breakfast?”

“We have caramelized french toast with a mixed berry compote for your child like behaviours, and I have a fiddlehead omelet with bacon and a homemade salsa.”

“That sounds- Hey wait a minute, I'm not childlike! I'm an FBI agent who have taken care of himself the majority of his life.”

“William, you point a gun at me whenever you want to get your way and pout whenever you remember your dogs are still in the states without you. Furthermore you pout whenever you don't get your way.”

To even further prove Hannibals point, Will pouted as his behaviours were pointed out one by one. The down side of living with and liking a psychiatrist, you tend to get psychoanalysied without your permission.

“Just shut up and make your breakfast already-”

Hannibal smiled smugly as he turned back towards the stove. A few minutes later breakfast was done and plated, Will sat at the bar, causing Hannibal to scowl from his place at the table. He mightve been a cannibal but he still had table manners.

Hannibal silently glared at Will, trying to will Will into sitting at the table. It eventually worked but not in the way Hannibal wanted. Instead of sitting nicely Will was sitting cross legged in one of the chairs and was breaking almost every table etiquette rule there was. But at least he was at the table.

“William…”

“I haven't done anything!”

His eyes narrowed. “Are you quite positive about that William?”

“Uh… yes?”

Hannibal nodded disapprovingly and continued to eat in silence, now Will wasn't nervous per say but he definitely was a little on edge from Hannibals reactions. Knowing his luck he'd end up with an ear in his mouth again while he slept.

Besides that one incident the two had a fairly calm and casual morning. Will did the dishes as Hannibal cleaned the table, after the chores were done the two ended up on the couch together watching some nature documentary that Will liked.

“You know this isn't going to last forever right? If I found you Jack is eventually gonna show up at the door too-”

Hannibal nodded, absent-mindedly pulling Will in closer to his side. “I am well aware of Jack Crawford's efforts to find me but I have ways to delay the inevitable for now.”

Will was about to say something else but Hannibal cut him off with a kiss, even going as far to bite down on Wills lip until it bled- The might have started to be a little more than civil but that didn't mean Hannibal didn't have issues anymore.

A gasp and a soft moan slipped past his lips as Hannibal kissed and bit him. Yet he returned the kiss with a similar fever leading to him tugging on Hannibals shirt, only to then he pulled away from.

A coy looking Hannibal smiled as he looked at Wills flushed face. “Don't get carried away now William, we still have a documentary to finish watching.”

[an-angel-in-the-garden]

A surprise date~ Waka and Oki x Reader

So......here we are. I have no real defense here; I know they aren't on my writing list but hear me out. I love these characters so much. I love this game so much and have started replaying it and just need to write something for them. Also, warnings for bad French. I only took classes when I was a child and Waka says French things. So, I wanted to add that cause it's part of his character, but I know it feels a tad unnatural, do forgive me please. With that being said....enjoy

Oki

Not one to plan out dates. Oki loves just living with you, fighting and working together. Seeing the world or protecting the village it's all a dream so long as you're together. To some extent Oki sees most of your days as dates. You all spend so much time with each other, he gets bathed in your attention and in turns offers you his devotion. It's hard not to see that. Sometimes though, Oki wants to slow down and really remind you of his love. More often than not he'll ask Kai for help with planning. He wants to know what people tend to think of as romantic and he trusts her to not lead him astray.

Once he has a plan Oki will set it for the next day so he can just ask for you to clear your schedule. " It's been a while since we got to really spend time together, how about joining me for a trip?" This could mean anything, but you can mostly guess that it means he wants a nice day out. It's easy to agree and the Oki feels a glimmer of raw affection rush through him. Everything is easy with you, even something as small as this makes his heart pound in a way battle never does. He loves you endlessly and these moments oddly enough remind him of why. These simple days will never not make him happy. 

Waka

Waka is a romantic, he adores all the little things in a relationship though he hardly gets to indulge with how busy is. That means when he does get a day off or even just a small moment to step away, Waka takes full advantage to spoil and be spoiled in return. Nothing brings him more joy than simply popping up to whisk you away for an adventure or humble little date. With plans to just relax and enjoy together Waka is willing to do anything you might find interesting. He's lived long enough to have seen or done most things but there's always a new feeling of life when he does things with you.

Today is one of those days. Free from stuff paperwork or having to save a town from illness Waka rushes to find you. The idea of a picnic is already flowing through his mind. Nippon has so many lovely places he still wants to show you. The bright smile you send his way only adds to his excitement. " Bonjour Mon amour. Has your day been well? Since we both seem to have time, shall we take a break, I already have a meal made and a spot picked!" The hope is always that you're willing to be whisked away for some time, you normally are and on days you can't he quickly changes the date plan so you can still spend time together. Truly it's all Waka could ever want. No matter what work he might have waiting or what plans he had it's thrown away when you turn that lovely smile on him. A nod of your head, your excitement for this date...he could never deny how he longs to keep that feeling with you.

Thank you for putting up with this lol. So, this was going to be just for self-indulgence but now I'm going to be using it for my dear friend @bird-brained-plague-doctor Those who have been here for a bit will know yesterday was her birthday. Thus this is now her extra gift from me that I share with you all. Happy birthday Birdie, thank you for supporting my writing!

[mxmajor]

Didn't you tell me to be the guy? "I didn't tell you to be an asshole."- Uncle Jimmy

And for Carmy, those are one in the same. And because the show has been so tight on his perspective as the protag, many viewers have joined on the perspective of seeing everyone but Carmy as an asshole even when they aren't (except NY Chef/David Fields, fuck that guy).

In previous seasons we see more of Carmy's interiority (his memories, his ideas, his intrusive thoughts, his vulnerable moments at the thing), but marginally, we are made aware of how his behavior is impacting those around him.

in season 3 , we get a nice long introspective opener in 3x01 that visually lays out the experiences, memories, and thought process carmy's attempting to synthesize into success to overcorrect after friends and family.

He also does all of this alone.

In the following episodes we see more of the real time misunderstandings and failed efforts to establish and reinforce bonds with ppl not immediately in carmy's kin circle.

At first glance, the faks are doing a lot screentime wise, but I think their presence and the window guys, and even Tina's story highlight the lack of reliability that could happen in Carmy's perspective in addition to how spot on he is abt what is fucked up around the beef/berzatto family.

They show us an affection, and familiarity, and warmth with each other in their sophomoric antics and bonds with each other. All of it looks unprofessional and silly, esp when richie is trying to do so many random things not to thwart Carmy but save some of the atmosphere that makes people want to be there. But we see that ppl in other BOH kitchens have that, which Richie knowss. Cause he's experienced it at the Beef and Ever, even if not all the time with the berzatto siblings.

But I feel vindicated abt the old posts I made abt Carmy being an asshole, not because I think he's bad or I want to see him fail, but because I think he can eventually be aware of himself in a positive way and maybe be better in season 4. but he has to own his shit.

Carmy's genius and youngest child syndrome can passively slide him into a role where he is just accepted as complicated and misunderstood. Carmy is Carmy, no one tells him no really. Syd and Richie are the ones that give him the most pushback (which he desperately needs to listen to). But he got nearly a million dollars to do as he wanted off of love and guilt.

he goes inside himself to figure things out, and waits to be noticed dand interpreted but does not assertive in way that helps him engage. He doesn't see clearly that the success, magic, and joy is in the shared experience (with his siblings, coworkers, supervisor, dating) because he has been in that odd man out role and believes he doesn't belong.

So many people think this is his dream and passion but he literally never says that. Most of his relationships happens through projections he doesn't really clear up because he is so focused on the negative projects he assumes ppl will know about him because of his family and past.

He also tends to make things about himself that are not about him. When it is his familiars, it explodes into something, When it is Sydney or the computer it deflates and gets redirected because no one is coming for him like he anxiously/insecurely believes they are.

Carmy: Is that a shot? Computer: I don't understand. Carmy: Are you giving me shit for not calling people back? Ep. 5, Children, 23:33

Why the hell would the Computer (who is a great organizational professional, i need to look into credentialing like his) take time in a serious meeting to take a dig at Carmy????

Sometimes it seems like he only has genuine convos with Syd & Marcus but I think that is because he sees/projects parts of his chef self in them. Moreso Marcus now than Syd, he doesn't want them to experience and make the same mistakes.

I wish he would have asked the chef's he worked under for advice (on camera, in script) but you know, Carmy does not talk, and we wouldn't have a show if he did everything right all of the time.

I think NY chef just eating "the yeah I did the fucked up stuff on purpose, you're welcome" turned everything on its side in Carmy's brain. But I also think he took that exchange well in comparison to his spirals in the past two season finales.

all the core islands and structures in his head he built and rebuilt around being a successful chef topple. Sitting with all of those actual chefs and listening to them are their kitchen experiences foils his belief that people only gain success through being assholes.

SN: Uncle Jimmy, how is Carmy supposed to know what being the man looks like in a non-asshole way if he never got to work with his brother and didn't have consistent male figures growing up? But also, nobody knows how fcked up NY Chef is outside of the industry so how would cicero know either.

Carmy needs to socialize outside of his immediate family that he grew up around. And actually fucking talk to people. Not just stare and say very heavy one liners related to his inner monologue that are narrowly connected to the present topic.

heeey @currymanganese here is a post with initial thoughtsss

[cutekittenlady]

I do wish people would have more fun speculating on how Alucards relationship to the rest of the group will play out in season 2.

Like, yes, Maria and Alucard were a thang in the games, but I'm not sure that's going to necessarily follow into the Netflix adaptation. Not because of the pearl clutchy discourse but more because the creative team behind the first series made it clear they weren't doing a beat for beat adaptation and had every intention of doing their own thing with the characters. Plus, thematically speaking, it wouldn't shock me if Alucard and her wind up developing a father-daughter relationship given how Alucard was left off in the first series.

I mean, it is kind of interesting how Alucard comes swinging into the story immediately after Maria has more or less lost both her parents in ways that are way worse than death. (I mean her mom loses her humanity and her dad flagrantly rejected her offer to become a real family in favor of his cause; which is actually way worse than if they were both just dead) And at the end of the first series, Greta makes a point of saying that many of the villages orphaned children were freely calling Alucard 'father' so he's clearly established as a guy who has filled a father figure role in the past.

Plus, Alucard is kind of a fun contrast to the Abbot. I mean, the Abbot is an extremely religious conservative whose conversations with Maria in regards to their idealogical differences are heavily tinged with moralizing and tend to patronize her as a confused little girl. Meanwhile, assuming we keep certain aspects of his character from the first series, Alucard is a half-vampire who leans pretty heavily into science and may prescribe more to a lot of the ideas of the enlightenment movement that helped inspire the French Revolution in the first place. Thing is, I don't see him really agreeing with Maria either, but unlike the Abbot, he'd likely approach the discussion way differently and treat her conviction as something with a real moral core to it. However, I can see Alucard still challenging Maria to think more deeply about her own ideas and what it is she actually wants to achieve.

Like, imagine Maria challenging Alucard to take a hand in something like the revolution. Maybe even asking in a sorta accusatory way as though his refusal to take part is a mark against his character/trustworthiness. Alucard, in turn, asking her if she really wants yet another vampire screwing around in human affairs and potentially manipulating people to their own ends. She might try to argue its for a more righteous cause, but Alucard would be pretty quick to point out that both her father and the vampire think their cause is righteous too. And so on.

I just think, thematically, there is a lot of potential there for Alucard to act as a more sincere father figure to Maria with the added benefit that the two living together afterwards would still feel organic and natural as a result. Thereby getting the same net benefit of Maria encouraging Alucard to interact more with the world, just through a different relationship.

Of course, I mention the father-daughter aspect just because there's a pretty clear theming running through season 1 in regards to parentage and how that can influence/define ones outlook and ideals. (And also a ton of parent related trauma. LIke tooooons of it). The same themeing could be continued given Alucards history with his own dad even if he doesnt play a paternal or romantic role with maria.

Alucard could just as easily be a kindred spirit that Maria just comes to really be fond of. Her bitchy bisexual bishounen bestie, if you will.