#not having a clear idea of peoples feelings of me in relationships tends to cause me to like panic and spiral which is a me problem that

[deityofhearts]

I think one of my big problems is uncertainly in relationships, I’ve always started to like panic and get in my head every time I’m in a relationship where I’m not sure or my place or if I’m even liked or wanted

[ladyloveandjustice]

Summer 2024 Anime Overview: DEAD DEAD DEMONS DEDEDEDE DESTRUCTION

A giant mothership is hovering over Tokyo. The aliens haven’t done anything or even made themselves known yet, but Japan and America are already trying to blow that UFO up, and show off who has the best weapons, causing many civilian casualties along the way. While all this happens, two girls are just casually living their lives. But are they as normal as they appear?

One thing I want to say is if you watch this anime and care about being intensely spoiled, do not watch "episode 0" until you've finished episode 16. It actually slots chronologically between episode 16 and 17, and that's where the episode took place in the manga, so I have no idea why they did that. Fortunately I had someone to warn me about that, so I will be that someone for you.

Dead Dead Demons DeDeDeDe Destruction or De x 8 as I will be calling it, can be really tough show to watch—not because it’s bad, it’s very good, but because of how depressing and visceral it is at times, and how devastatingly accurate it is to the shitshow of our world. This tends to be balanced a bit by the touching friendships (and possibly? More?) of the very likeable cast of teenagers…but you also feel a huge sense of dread about their safety as things ramp up and their stories deepen.

The anime goes hard on criticizing the military industrial complex, Japan’s government, America’s government, xenophobia, treatment of immigrants, rich people, and conspiracy theorists. All things I also hate, so that’s great. What hurts is how you could easily see the events happening—waging war on the aliens despite no provocation, people using an app to to hunt down and slaughter them...

It shows how even some of the protestors of the genocide use their movement to cover their own selfish motivations, meanwhile countries taking the situation as an opportunity to vie for power and dominance, rich government officials lie to their people and abandon them…obviously there's a lot of commentary here on how we dehumanize immigrants and minorities and enable genocides for capitalism and political power.

It's very bleak, and there were a lot of episode that had me just feeling sad, especially comparing it to current events. But there's also this interesting focus on normal people trying to live their lives during this alien "invasion", and the kids who still go through the dramas and upsets of everyday life. And especially the “I’d burn down the world for you” intense emotional relationship between Kadode and Ouran, the two teen girl leads.

Ouran is the main lead, and she’s a chuuni beyond chuuni, acting wacky and cheerful and spouting nonsense-- except if you pay attention, she's saying some pretty valid things—critiques of capitalism, war, government surveillance—but then following it up with something wild like “and that’s why I should rule the world”. You get the sense she’s cloaking an awareness of how shit the world is in humor, and as the show goes on and as her surprisingly intense and weird backstory unfolds, it becomes clear why that is.

The relationship between Ouran and Kadode is the center of everything--their bond IS the show. It's that kind of ride-or-die, I'd-kill-for-you, I'll-be-by-your-side-even-if-the-whole-world-is-against-you, in-every-life-i'd-find-you-and-love-you, soul-bonded, fiery devotion and love. They are the most important person in each other's lives, full stop. It's those kind of relationships that are so transcendent it goes beyond simple definitions of romantic and platonic. In other words, my kind of shit exactly.

But, as far as romance goes, Ouran, at least, is definitely queer and the depths of her determination to keep Kadode safe in a world that wants to destroy her girl that would make Homura Madoka Magica blush. (Kadode is more ambiguous, but she’s definitely soul bonded with Ouran. And honestly should just date Ouran because god she needs to be rescued).

There’s also a gentle empathy for marginalized people underneath all the horror—the girls befriend an alien trying to survive in the guise of a human, and it doesn’t seem like a coincidence that the first person our alien tells absolutely everything to is the gnc/potentially trans person of the group, Makoto (To be specific, they seem to still be figuring out their identity, but they definitely present feminine and specifically came to Tokyo because their small town wouldn’t be okay with how they like to dress). The way Makoto immediately shields their alien friend from others when they make the reveal that they saying “Don’t let them see, it’s not safe” and how it’s followed up by the alien reassuring Makoto that their friends will be okay with it if they take their wig off to swim...it makes the metaphor extremely clear, and it’s always nice when a series can explore marginalized characters both textually and metaphorically.

Through the kids, we get kernels of hope in this story, a reassurance there are kinder people in this world, and a hope that kindness will endure.

As depressing as the story can be, what it has to say is important and it doesn’t hold back in making you see what it’s going for��from the “Cool Japan�� logo flashing right before the  Japanese government gives a weapons demonstration that will later kill citizens and destroy innocents...

...to the Trump-alike American President (and let me tell you it’s startling to be watching a show in Japanese and suddenly Donald Trump impression in perfect English) *(had to use the manga here because Crunchyroll didn't close-caption this part :/)

Then there's the American tourists, who were clearly va’d by someone really good at English, potentially a native speaker, and it’s incredibly funny how much of their dialogue has “fuck” in it and seeing the subtitles skip over that. Also much of their dialogue is treating the devastated Japan as a tourist attraction and saying how funny it all is to them. Logan Paul has entered the chat.

De x 8 very clearly hates America and recognizes it as a blood thirsty colonial power, which is correct, but the show is just as hard on it’s own country, saying the Japanese government would happily get back on the colonizing horse if they had an excuse, and many citizwns would mindlessly support them.

A small thing I appreciate is far from the usual anime aesthetic where everyone is blandly cute, the anime gives a ton of people ridiculously cartoony features that make everyone distinct—and being goofy looking is not meant to indicate a character is stupid or ugly—Makoto’s a super sympathetic character with giant cartoon buck teeth and one character that’s even pointed out as pretty has like, a pig snout nose. (It also makes it so the character noted as being drop dead gorgeous...actually is, instead of coming off as just as conventionally attractive as the rest)

Soooo a lot of good stuff going into this story. Let’s talk about some caveats.

There’s a continuing storyline between Kadode and her adult teacher, who takes her to his place to have sex with her. When he does, she ends up ditching him because of her feels for Ouran (gay) and I thought that would be the end of it, but nooope he’s a groomer, they pick up dating again when she’s in college, literally months after the previous encounter. The dude is presented as a scumbag, he cheats on his girlfriend, he seems generally apathetic, his clear discomfort with Kadode calling him “sensei” shows that he knows what he’s doing is wrong …and ultimately the relationship is shown to be unfulfilling, with Kadode directly stating so and acknowledging he’s just advantage. That doesn’t stop it from being uncomfortable though, especially since it’s confirmed he and Kadode have sex eventually (offscreen, thank god) and honestly, I felt it dragged on way too long. The first encounter pretty much demonstrated everything we needed to know about the whole thing in my view.

And of course there’s a ton of potentially triggering content in a story like this—from genocide to suicide to child murder to almost anything you can think of. Also like, one character has a sister complex, but on the milder side for anime. One where it’s conceivably platonic, and it’s not like he goes after her boyfriend Yuri Forger style, so it doesn’t bother me too much. There's also a good dose of fatphobia. And finally moment where a woman reveals she has ADHD (which I've never actually heard anyone say in anime so I actually got a little excited the more fool me) and then is almost immediately shown to be faking it.

The ending…is another big sticking point for me. It feels disconnected from the rest of the series, mainly focusing on a character we barely know and likely don’t care about and spending very little time with the characters we do, presenting an interesting status quo and immediately abandoning it, and while earlier episodes of the series presented "actions have consequences and we gotta live with them" as a major theme, it was suddenly like, actually they don’t!

The ultimate ending, again, hinges on a decision from a character we don’t care about and honestly feels like a deus ex machina. It felt almost like the author really wanted a happier ending but knew that wasn’t in line with the story he’s told so far, so he just tacked it on. Or maybe it was an editorial mandate, who knows. I think the most satisfying way to see watch episode 1-16 as its own pretty satisfying complete story (which works really well), and then treat episodes 0 and 17 as their own separate thing, a potential additional ending but not the definitive one. At least that’s what I did.

Overall, De x 8 is a show with a lot to say and it gives you plenty to chew on. While it is often depressing, it is very rewarding. The unbreakable bond between two messy girls, as well as the moments of ordinary joy and small human/alien journeys are the core of the show, and what makes it shine. I definitely encourage you to give it a watch. It's being really slept on, and it shouldn't be.

[oiblackestsheep]

what, in your opinion, are an intp’s needs in a relationship? (coming from an infj.) love your blog, you’ve got some amazing insights 🫶

Aww, thanks INFJ anon. 🫶 I try my best to have interesting insights that bring something fresh to the table!

INTP's Needs in a Relationship

I've been in the same relationship for 8.5 years (and we actually MET ON TUMBLR BECAUSE OF THIS BLOG WHICH IS SO FUNNY AND NERDY), all of this to say, I've had a lot of time to think about my relationship needs even from the MBTI perspective as an INTP, because that was how my ENFJ and I kinda started out getting to know, like, what we each needed from each other, so, here we go!

Disclaimer: This is assuming that the INTP is already getting everything that everyone needs in a basic healthy relationship like, you know, feeling emotionally safe and being treated with respect, etc..

Intellectual stimulation: INTPs generally love understanding new things and how they work, so ideally their partner can share that interest with them in some way! They can be pretty curious people, so joining them in their quest for uncovering the "how" and "why" of everything will make them feel understood, themselves, and closer to you in the process!

Clear explanations of your feelings: Because INTPs have inferior Fe, they tend to have a habit of intellectualizing their own emotions when they talk about them, which can cause complications with understanding other people's emotions, too. Finding a way to be patient and know that even healthy INTPs might still struggle with connecting with other people's emotions (especially at first in a relationship) isn't necessarily because they don't want to, but more that it doesn't always come naturally, so they don't always know how to. If they're a healthy person, they will want to understand, just try not to take it personally while they are practicing/learning!

Alone time: This one should be pretty straight-forward lmao. They're introverted, so they like to recharge doing solo-activities, and they're intuitives, so they have their own little theoretical world full of bizarre ideas to entertain themselves with that might not always be easy to follow at first. I find that introverts in general (maybe the INxx types even moreso) like to engage in parallel play where their partner also does something quietly nearby, but still a separate activity. As an INFJ, yourself, I'm sure you can relate in your own way, so it's likely easy to give them what they need!

Humor them/hear them out: This might sound a little vague, and I guess in some ways it is, but this is mostly about their auxiliary Ne. ENTPs and ENFPs get most of the attention when it comes to high Ne, but INTPs (and INFPs, too!) place a lot of importance on it, too, which can often manifest itself in conversations like "what if __", "imagine if __", etc.. To put it bluntly, it might seem a bit... directionless, and that's because sometimes it kind of is! It's just about thinking of random possibilities that are non-serious and funny in the moment, and don't really go anywhere else outside of the current discussion or hold any larger, overarching significance. Sometimes it's less about the actual topic itself, and more about having some random fun and "playing along" that makes a world of a difference to a playful INTP (or high Ne user in general). This point got away from me a little bit which I think, in a way, is the perfect exemplification of what I was trying to say in the first place, lmao. Hope that makes sense! If your INTP ever sounds like whatever the hell I just said, just try not to disengage right away, because they probably have a point that they are struggling to reach. Put that dom Ni to work and summarize it for them, I know you can do it from experience with my own ENFJ lmao.

Anyway, uhhhhh: Every single point on this list has gotten progressively longer because my Ne loves extrapolating (and I love Ne, but sometimes its gotta CHILL you know?), so I'm gonna end it here before it gets WILDLY OUT OF CONTROL.

This was a fun question, anon!: Thanks again for reaching out, and basically giving me full range to just write multiple paragraphs about myself and my relationship!

[deansmom]

The fact that the spn fandom is entirely incapable of a nuanced discussion involving Dean and the relationship with his mother shouldn’t surprise me as much as it did when I came back to fandom, and as much as it still does when I’m forced to see it with my own two eyeballs

Mary Winchester was a person before she was a mother, and I’m going to be so honest with you, I think by the time she died, John didn’t like who that person was. So I think when she died, he did what a lot of people do, which is put the person they lost on a pedestal. And that’s who Dean grew up hearing about, that’s what all of his memories of his mom were contextualized with, this person who didn’t exist. And so then his mom comes back and I think it’s very, very clear to Dean almost immediately that this isn’t the same person John told him about.

In the real world, we have no context to draw from and nothing to compare it to, the experience of getting a dead parent back and to be part of your life again. We can’t know how he felt beyond what we were shown in canon - So of course Dean is thrilled, but he’s also a Winchester and deeply traumatized, and tries so hard to make it seem normal and not internalize his complicated feelings about her and her being alive. He’s dealing with:

Grappling with losing the mother he was told she was and resenting mary for it because she’s standing in front of him

Realizing that John robbed so much from him by denying him the version of his mother who feels like looking in a mirror

The guilt of how and why mary is there

Trying to reconcile his feelings of resentment and anger that he knows should be directed at John, but John’s not there, so they end up getting directed at mary, and feeling bad about that

A deeply traumatized inner child who has his safe person back, and just wants his mom to hold him and tell him it’s going to be okay, but he knows that isn’t fair to ask of her

And meanwhile mary was dealing with

✨trauma✨ from being brought back to life

Having to confront her own failures as a parent (which is silly it’s not her fault she died but y’know, feelings tend to be silly)

Having to reconcile her toddler with the man in front of her who’s older than her being her son

Seeing so much of John’s worst qualities in both of them and recognizing the trauma of a shitty dad

The fact that they had this idea of who she was, and it’s nothing like her at all, and trying to understand why John would lie to them while also probably coming to terms with what looks like confirmation of her own worst fears about who she was as a parent

I cannot stress this enough: the last time her feet touched the ground, she had been married, with a new baby, and a 4 year old, she wasn’t a hunter, John barely knew about hunting, and it was the 80’s. She woke up in what, 2017 and her husband’s dead, her babies are grown men (again: older than her!!!) and the most prolific hunters in the world. Oh, also, angels? God? The afterlife?? Funny story! Like I’m sorry, you wanted her to have well-adjusted coping skills for that????

The Mary hate just gets me because she’s Dean in a different font, and so many of y’all hate her for such superficial bullshit that you could let go of if you took 5 seconds to think about the situation critically for both of them. The only bad guy here is, was and will always be John Winchester. John was there, but Mary tried her best. Mary tried to do what was best for them when she left, because she didn’t want to damage their idea of who she was anymore than she had. Mary literally died trying to save Sam from the destiny that heaven had written for him - John couldn’t be bothered to think about his kids.

And if you think that Dean ever genuinely hated Mary, your critical thinking skills need some work. The thing that prompts his speech in 12.22 is Mary saying to his younger self, “I only want good things for you, Dean. I'll never let anything bad happen to you.” So he says

I hate you. And I love you. 'Cause I can't – I can't help it. You're my Mom. And I understand...'cause I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once.

I forgive you. I forgive you. For all of it. Everything. On the other side of this, we can start over, okay? You, me, Sam. We can get it right this time. But I need you to fight. Right now, I need you to fight. I need you – I need you to look at me, Mom. I need you to really look at me and see me. Mom, I need you to see me. Please.

Translation: “you’re right. I resent you for not being the person I was sold, I resent you for your death being the thing that ruined dad, I resent you for being the touchstone for so many of heaven’s plans for us. I resent you because you’re here, and John isn’t, and it’s easier to hate someone tangible than someone dead. And if I hate you, it’s only because I can see so much of myself in you, and I’m so incredibly angry that John treated us the way he did. My whole world, my whole identity revolves around you being someone that you never were, and wrapping my head around that is scary, but when I pull my head out of my ass and look around, you were just a kid. And you did your best, you’ve always tried to do what’s best for me and Sam, and I don’t hate you. I don’t know if I like you right now because you’re a stranger, which is scary - but I love you. So please, mom, I’m sorry that I’ve been taking my bullshit out on you. Just… try. For me. Please.”

Anyways!!! You guys don’t deserve Mary.

[iriyaices]

BRO I LOVE UR ART SMM. I THINK I ALREADY ASKED THIS BUT MY MEMORY IS HORRIBLE SO I CANNOT REMEMBER AND BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.

Have you done the anger meter things for the other ninja? Like the one with movie and show? I LOVED your kai one and wanted to know if you have or planned on making the other ninja.

Also if you have just any ninjago movie art at all 😅

AGAIN, LOVE YOUR ART SM

Thank you, I'm really glad you like my work <3<3

About that idea for the show and the movie. I haven't continued drawing yet because I'm still thinking about how to draw. I want them all to be a little bit different from each other because they've had different experiences in life, you know? but I still can't figure it out I hope you can help me figure it out lol

Jay and Zane are quite clear. Jay has higher anxiety than in the show. I Hc that Jay in show studies at home so he doesn't meet many people but movie he always got bullied This makes him have very low self-confidence

About Zane, in movie for me he is much younger than Zane in show. He knew from the beginning that he is a Nindroid. So he learned how to be human from movies and cartoons, which made him not quite himself.

Lloyd is quite simple. He suffers a lot in movie. I Hc that Lloyd met ninjas in high school. That's why he encountered a lot of hate from a young age, causing him to have a lot of trust issues and his self-confidence was very low as well. He was like a stray cat that threatened everyone when the ninja first met him

Oh and kai I never talk about my thoughts, right? To me, Kai and Nya's parents aren't missing, they're just traveling a lot. That makes them a lot more like a sibling relationship than a show so In movie, Kai is much more bright and childish but bc he always smiles and is everyone's sunshine. That makes him tend to keep his other feelings hidden.

The hard part is Cole Nya and Pixel

I'm thinking about Cole being quieter in movie than show Bc they were a group that was often bullied and he wanted to protect his friends. So he set up a wall higher than the show?

for Nya, I really can't think of anything. She probably isn't much different from the show Besides the fact that she no longer had to live on her own and in the movie, she is no longer left behind. I like to think she will be the second leader after Lloyd

Pixel my queen !! I like to think that she has more experience living than Zane She is therefore more human than him but they didn't have the courage to tell everyone that them was a Nindroid //Nindroid is definitely legal and has a life of its own but people still don't accept them that much//

ok im talk too much lol

That is my rough idea. I still don't know how to draw it and I'm not sure

If you guys have any suggestions I would really appreciate it :3

[9w1ft]

Hi 9!! How bad do you think Taylor and her dad fell out? Sometimes I think that it can’t have been that bad, and that she forgave him and it’s all in the past. But some songs to me sounds like she’s still referring to him, feeling extremely betrayed. What do you think?

i think people on the internet tend to sensationalize the idea of taylor’s relationship with her dad or use it as a part of some greater narrative when all the while he’s been a continued public presence in her life.

i think its just as likely to be like any other relationship between parent and kid. it’s possible to be annoyed or angry at your dad or parents without having a falling out. doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

it’s clear from what he has said that he cares a ton about her, is super protective of her, and devoted so much of his life to propelling her to where she is today. not every parent does this for their kid. and he’s not relying on her financially either. so it’s my opinion that at the end of the day it comes from a place of love.

i also think that the lyric in the bolter “ever reviled by everyone except her own father” suggests that there are elements of taylor’s personality that she knows that only her dad truly understands. that there is some facet of her that everyone is critical of except for him. that plenty suggests that a bond is there.

i’m not sure which songs you’re thinking of but i feel like for every song ive seen suggested is about him, it works just as well if not better to interpret it as about scott borchetta, or about the collective issues that many men in her life have caused her.

[icarus-does-fall]

It's short an stupid but it fixed the brainrot <3

The hannigram fic idea that suddenly started rotting in my brain<33

I love these two crazy mfers a totally normal and reasonable amount

Somewhere in season 2 ig but like also just sorta an AU lmao

I need hannigram domestic bliss (except they're still crazy<3)

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤. .𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

Will had once again been arrested and then set free because of over lying factors. It was becoming something of a pattern with Will being framed and then coincidently let go because another killer took the fall.

Hannibal, was of course the one still setting up Will, afterall he did stab Will only to moments later confess his love, but he'd be damned if other people kept saving *his* boy.

It was clear these two had a… problematic relationship but Hannibal knew how to be domestic on occasion, and these were one of those occasions.

After stabbing Will and begging for forgiveness while confessing his love, he immediately fled to Italy. Not long after did Will find him, they always knew where the other was. *Somehow*.

So of course Will found himself in Hannibals Italian Villa and one morning Hannibal and Will ended up in the kitchen together, Hannibal was cooking breakfast and Will was being a casual menace.

“William, please put the knives down, I need them to dice the chives.”

“Or I keep holding them, and try to stab you when you get too close.”

Hannibal sighed and continued to prep the needed ingredients for breakfast. “I have already apologized for that, must you keep it over my head forever?”

“No I don't have to, but it's nice seeing you squirm with guilt every time I mention it. More convenient than a gun this early in the morning too.” :3

Hannibal merely gave Will a slightly annoyed look as he took the Knife out of his hands and then kissed Will on the nose before going back to finish breakfast. Will bluescreenned for a moment, while yes Hannibal had admitted his feelings open affection from the man was still a strange concept.

“You're an impossible puzzle to solve Will.”

“Yeah- Anyway whats for breakfast?”

“We have caramelized french toast with a mixed berry compote for your child like behaviours, and I have a fiddlehead omelet with bacon and a homemade salsa.”

“That sounds- Hey wait a minute, I'm not childlike! I'm an FBI agent who have taken care of himself the majority of his life.”

“William, you point a gun at me whenever you want to get your way and pout whenever you remember your dogs are still in the states without you. Furthermore you pout whenever you don't get your way.”

To even further prove Hannibals point, Will pouted as his behaviours were pointed out one by one. The down side of living with and liking a psychiatrist, you tend to get psychoanalysied without your permission.

“Just shut up and make your breakfast already-”

Hannibal smiled smugly as he turned back towards the stove. A few minutes later breakfast was done and plated, Will sat at the bar, causing Hannibal to scowl from his place at the table. He mightve been a cannibal but he still had table manners.

Hannibal silently glared at Will, trying to will Will into sitting at the table. It eventually worked but not in the way Hannibal wanted. Instead of sitting nicely Will was sitting cross legged in one of the chairs and was breaking almost every table etiquette rule there was. But at least he was at the table.

“William…”

“I haven't done anything!”

His eyes narrowed. “Are you quite positive about that William?”

“Uh… yes?”

Hannibal nodded disapprovingly and continued to eat in silence, now Will wasn't nervous per say but he definitely was a little on edge from Hannibals reactions. Knowing his luck he'd end up with an ear in his mouth again while he slept.

Besides that one incident the two had a fairly calm and casual morning. Will did the dishes as Hannibal cleaned the table, after the chores were done the two ended up on the couch together watching some nature documentary that Will liked.

“You know this isn't going to last forever right? If I found you Jack is eventually gonna show up at the door too-”

Hannibal nodded, absent-mindedly pulling Will in closer to his side. “I am well aware of Jack Crawford's efforts to find me but I have ways to delay the inevitable for now.”

Will was about to say something else but Hannibal cut him off with a kiss, even going as far to bite down on Wills lip until it bled- The might have started to be a little more than civil but that didn't mean Hannibal didn't have issues anymore.

A gasp and a soft moan slipped past his lips as Hannibal kissed and bit him. Yet he returned the kiss with a similar fever leading to him tugging on Hannibals shirt, only to then he pulled away from.

A coy looking Hannibal smiled as he looked at Wills flushed face. “Don't get carried away now William, we still have a documentary to finish watching.”

[atarahderek]

Today on: INFP or ADHD?

Perspective taking

I get weekly bonus traits from Genomelink, and this week's trait is as follows:

I find this to be accurate to me. I can see things from others' viewpoints, but that's a skill I had to learn. It does not come naturally to me. So I have to consciously remind myself to slow down and listen, and try to understand where the other person is coming from.

Believe it or not, that is an Fi thing (ftr, I call it "eff-aye," not "fie" or "fee").

Or possibly a neurodivergent thing.

Let me explain...

Fi is kind of self-centered.

Introverted Feeling (Fi) is an analytical function, but what it analyzes are emotions and emotional experiences. Especially in the user. It is the idealism function and has its own idea of how the world should be. It is the moral core function. It is the function that makes the user adhere firmly and stubbornly to their own identity. It does not like compromise, especially on what it perceives to be a moral issue. The Fi-dom in particular has their worldview set in stone by a certain age and they'll be darned if they so much as entertain someone else's. This is why we're kind of easy to offend. Pick on us directly and we'll take it because we value harmony and being able to control our own emotions (we save them for when we want to write you as a character in our stories and then brutally kill that character off). But attack some person, ideal or issue near and dear to our hearts and we'll fly off the handle. And often it does not matter whether that attack is coming from pain or how calm and respectful your argument is. All we see is the attack itself and we lash out. We have to learn not to do this.

Contrast Ti, which is analytical on all fronts and will take an interest in other perspectives purely because they exist. Or Fe, which hears out the other side because it literally cannot do anything else. As the empath function, it feels what the other person is feeling the moment the user is in close proximity to the other person. And it seeks to know more about the source of that feeling so that it can manipulate it to its advantage (Fe can be devious). So for Fe/Ti users, perspective taking comes as naturally as breathing.

So the fact that perspective taking is not an inborn skill for me is definitely the result of my dominant Fi. Unless it's actually the result of ADHD. Because...

ADHD has rejection and anger management issues.

People with ADHD tend to have short tempers compared to neurotypicals. This is because the ADHD brain can be overwhelmed with too much information due to limited working memory (the RAM of the brain) and a deficit in the hormone dopamine which is required to motivate the brain to get to work processing information. This causes the individual to lash out in an attempt to get the flow of information to slow down, organize itself or cease altogether. People with ADHD also internalize all kinds of negative messages about themselves, and that can cause outbursts of anger. When you're angry and overwhelmed with information that you physically cannot process properly, you tend not to listen to people around you. Even if you could focus on what they're saying, you're not going to really hear them when your working memory is overloaded.

ADHD also causes rejection sensitivity. This can create problems in an argument. A person with ADHD can do just fine in a civilized debate. But if the debate becomes a heated argument, ADHD starts to get in the way. The opponent starts to take offense and go on the attack, and that's a clear case of rejection of the other person's viewpoint. This can cause the person with ADHD to either respond in kind and escalate the conflict, or shut down altogether and walk away. Neither response allows the person to hear their opponent's perspective. And it can permanently damage the relationship, as the person with ADHD will often try to avoid the person who rejected their viewpoint so as to avoid a similar conflict.

Undiagnosed neurodivergent people can sometimes be clued into their condition by their inability to consistently practice perception taking. Even if it's a skill they've worked hard to learn, the fact that they still fail at it sometimes can indicate that there's something going on upstairs that's a little more beyond their control than they realize. There may be an underlying cause to your inability to see through another's eyes, and it's not because of some personality flaw.

What do you think? INFP or ADHD?

For my part, I think both my dominant Fi and my ADHD are contributing factors in having to learn and actively practice perspective taking rather than coming by it naturally. I have learned how to do it, and yet I still struggle sometimes to do it when I'm blinded by anger. It's a trap anyone can fall into, but it's definitely something I think the Fi user with ADHD is the most prone to.

[mxmajor]

Didn't you tell me to be the guy? "I didn't tell you to be an asshole."- Uncle Jimmy

And for Carmy, those are one in the same. And because the show has been so tight on his perspective as the protag, many viewers have joined on the perspective of seeing everyone but Carmy as an asshole even when they aren't (except NY Chef/David Fields, fuck that guy).

In previous seasons we see more of Carmy's interiority (his memories, his ideas, his intrusive thoughts, his vulnerable moments at the thing), but marginally, we are made aware of how his behavior is impacting those around him.

in season 3 , we get a nice long introspective opener in 3x01 that visually lays out the experiences, memories, and thought process carmy's attempting to synthesize into success to overcorrect after friends and family.

He also does all of this alone.

In the following episodes we see more of the real time misunderstandings and failed efforts to establish and reinforce bonds with ppl not immediately in carmy's kin circle.

At first glance, the faks are doing a lot screentime wise, but I think their presence and the window guys, and even Tina's story highlight the lack of reliability that could happen in Carmy's perspective in addition to how spot on he is abt what is fucked up around the beef/berzatto family.

They show us an affection, and familiarity, and warmth with each other in their sophomoric antics and bonds with each other. All of it looks unprofessional and silly, esp when richie is trying to do so many random things not to thwart Carmy but save some of the atmosphere that makes people want to be there. But we see that ppl in other BOH kitchens have that, which Richie knowss. Cause he's experienced it at the Beef and Ever, even if not all the time with the berzatto siblings.

But I feel vindicated abt the old posts I made abt Carmy being an asshole, not because I think he's bad or I want to see him fail, but because I think he can eventually be aware of himself in a positive way and maybe be better in season 4. but he has to own his shit.

Carmy's genius and youngest child syndrome can passively slide him into a role where he is just accepted as complicated and misunderstood. Carmy is Carmy, no one tells him no really. Syd and Richie are the ones that give him the most pushback (which he desperately needs to listen to). But he got nearly a million dollars to do as he wanted off of love and guilt.

he goes inside himself to figure things out, and waits to be noticed dand interpreted but does not assertive in way that helps him engage. He doesn't see clearly that the success, magic, and joy is in the shared experience (with his siblings, coworkers, supervisor, dating) because he has been in that odd man out role and believes he doesn't belong.

So many people think this is his dream and passion but he literally never says that. Most of his relationships happens through projections he doesn't really clear up because he is so focused on the negative projects he assumes ppl will know about him because of his family and past.

He also tends to make things about himself that are not about him. When it is his familiars, it explodes into something, When it is Sydney or the computer it deflates and gets redirected because no one is coming for him like he anxiously/insecurely believes they are.

Carmy: Is that a shot? Computer: I don't understand. Carmy: Are you giving me shit for not calling people back? Ep. 5, Children, 23:33

Why the hell would the Computer (who is a great organizational professional, i need to look into credentialing like his) take time in a serious meeting to take a dig at Carmy????

Sometimes it seems like he only has genuine convos with Syd & Marcus but I think that is because he sees/projects parts of his chef self in them. Moreso Marcus now than Syd, he doesn't want them to experience and make the same mistakes.

I wish he would have asked the chef's he worked under for advice (on camera, in script) but you know, Carmy does not talk, and we wouldn't have a show if he did everything right all of the time.

I think NY chef just eating "the yeah I did the fucked up stuff on purpose, you're welcome" turned everything on its side in Carmy's brain. But I also think he took that exchange well in comparison to his spirals in the past two season finales.

all the core islands and structures in his head he built and rebuilt around being a successful chef topple. Sitting with all of those actual chefs and listening to them are their kitchen experiences foils his belief that people only gain success through being assholes.

SN: Uncle Jimmy, how is Carmy supposed to know what being the man looks like in a non-asshole way if he never got to work with his brother and didn't have consistent male figures growing up? But also, nobody knows how fcked up NY Chef is outside of the industry so how would cicero know either.

Carmy needs to socialize outside of his immediate family that he grew up around. And actually fucking talk to people. Not just stare and say very heavy one liners related to his inner monologue that are narrowly connected to the present topic.

heeey @currymanganese here is a post with initial thoughtsss

[cutekittenlady]

I do wish people would have more fun speculating on how Alucards relationship to the rest of the group will play out in season 2.

Like, yes, Maria and Alucard were a thang in the games, but I'm not sure that's going to necessarily follow into the Netflix adaptation. Not because of the pearl clutchy discourse but more because the creative team behind the first series made it clear they weren't doing a beat for beat adaptation and had every intention of doing their own thing with the characters. Plus, thematically speaking, it wouldn't shock me if Alucard and her wind up developing a father-daughter relationship given how Alucard was left off in the first series.

I mean, it is kind of interesting how Alucard comes swinging into the story immediately after Maria has more or less lost both her parents in ways that are way worse than death. (I mean her mom loses her humanity and her dad flagrantly rejected her offer to become a real family in favor of his cause; which is actually way worse than if they were both just dead) And at the end of the first series, Greta makes a point of saying that many of the villages orphaned children were freely calling Alucard 'father' so he's clearly established as a guy who has filled a father figure role in the past.

Plus, Alucard is kind of a fun contrast to the Abbot. I mean, the Abbot is an extremely religious conservative whose conversations with Maria in regards to their idealogical differences are heavily tinged with moralizing and tend to patronize her as a confused little girl. Meanwhile, assuming we keep certain aspects of his character from the first series, Alucard is a half-vampire who leans pretty heavily into science and may prescribe more to a lot of the ideas of the enlightenment movement that helped inspire the French Revolution in the first place. Thing is, I don't see him really agreeing with Maria either, but unlike the Abbot, he'd likely approach the discussion way differently and treat her conviction as something with a real moral core to it. However, I can see Alucard still challenging Maria to think more deeply about her own ideas and what it is she actually wants to achieve.

Like, imagine Maria challenging Alucard to take a hand in something like the revolution. Maybe even asking in a sorta accusatory way as though his refusal to take part is a mark against his character/trustworthiness. Alucard, in turn, asking her if she really wants yet another vampire screwing around in human affairs and potentially manipulating people to their own ends. She might try to argue its for a more righteous cause, but Alucard would be pretty quick to point out that both her father and the vampire think their cause is righteous too. And so on.

I just think, thematically, there is a lot of potential there for Alucard to act as a more sincere father figure to Maria with the added benefit that the two living together afterwards would still feel organic and natural as a result. Thereby getting the same net benefit of Maria encouraging Alucard to interact more with the world, just through a different relationship.

Of course, I mention the father-daughter aspect just because there's a pretty clear theming running through season 1 in regards to parentage and how that can influence/define ones outlook and ideals. (And also a ton of parent related trauma. LIke tooooons of it). The same themeing could be continued given Alucards history with his own dad even if he doesnt play a paternal or romantic role with maria.

Alucard could just as easily be a kindred spirit that Maria just comes to really be fond of. Her bitchy bisexual bishounen bestie, if you will.

[laufreyjarson]

some thoughts as i ease back into deity worship;

having to step away from my practice for awhile, i was worried that i wouldn't be able to communicate with my fulltrúi as clearly as before.

granted, communication between me and loki/freyja has always been pretty straightforward, and is only interrupted by my own lack of perception (in this case, i wasn't very open to receiving communication since i was mentally preoccupied). i was nervous, though, that my absence had caused them to lose interest in me. however, as soon as i opened back up to it, things were back to normal, and i didn't lose my ability to tap into their energy and interpret signs!!

i'm neurodivergent and i don't do well with abstract concepts or vague answers, so divination tends to be my best friend when i want to spend some time with deities and confirm any thoughts, feelings, or intuitions i get. that being said, i'm trying to expand my practice, and i think loki and freyja have been reaching out to me in discreet ways to re-incorporate their presences into my daily life.

recent experiences;

- i have pulled the tower in every single tarot reading i've done in the past two years. this card represents what loki tends to represent for me, and i didn't make this connection until recently. i did a deity reading this past sunday, and when pulling the first card to represent the deity i was working with (just to confirm), i pulled the tower! i asked on the pendulum if the tower in my readings has been loki showing up for me, and he said yes. i was really touched by this...!

- so many spiders. as always. and they don't go away until i give loki an offering. please help

- i have a few diagnosed mental illnesses, most of which are manageable but a lot more debilitating than i like to acknowledge. a major symptom is that i have a hard time finding the motivation to take care of myself, but ever since may, i've had the energy to take the extra step and do the best i can! i prayed to freyja regarding this and after acknowledging her role in my self care, my acne started to clear up, which i've had for twelve years, and is cystic + sooo stubborn

- around a month ago, i had the sudden idea to create a journal where i write down nice/positive things people have said about me. this came after a mental rut where i was experiencing extremely low confidence. i asked freyja if it was her idea and if she wanted it dedicated to her as an offering, and she said yes!

- i'm very mild mannered and a huge people pleaser, but recently i've had this fire inside of me that's allowed me to stand up for myself and set better boundaries. i asked loki if this is him, and he confirmed it is!

- i got a very intense impulse to weave bracelets for both of them. i put them around my wrists as a kind of protection, because i do love offerings i can wear! of course loki's snapped after an hour and i had to make a new one, but that was mostly my fault ><

there's so much more, and all i can feel is this huge sense of gratitude as i realize they have been showing up for me in every facet of my life, even though i was too distracted to fully realize or acknowledge it. the silent support that they have shown me is so so meaningful, and only proves to me that my love, care, and respect for them is reciprocated! all i can say is i'm so so happy. i will never take this relationship i have built with loki and freyja for granted.

[qroier]

edited my post from yesterday on spiderbit eurydice and orpheus to be clearer. it is now. way longer klsdjfk. but the idea is the same. anyway enjoy reading if you do and uh. pues f if you don't, no? lskdfjsdk. kinda already mentioned it in the post but should clarify here that i'm 100% talking about the greek myth.

-

Thinking about spiderbit as eurydice and orpheus is so interesting to me, cause I think depending on how you look at it and how you think of the story, there's an argument for both. And then you remember everything that was purgatory and how clear of a parallel it is to the myth hdksjdks. Honestly though, I feel like the purgatory parallels are the biggest reason roier cubito as orpheus is winning out on that one poll, and I kinda have to disagree with that. The evidence for orpheus roier is there from the start. Roier cubito is always and forever a perfect, permanent orpheus figure even before considering purgatory, and it's down to the devotion roier and orpheus cling to and the grief they both drown in. (The rest under the read more)

Backtracking first for a bit to set the stage. There are many different versions of the eurydice and orpheus myth out there, and its nature as a myth means that interpretations (and translations of any original latin or greek versions) are always changing. Disclaimer of course that my understanding and general knowledge of the myth has been mainly influenced by the wider english-speaking cultural approach to it. I'm focusing on the orpheus archtype from my understanding of what it means (which I'll explain along the way) because otherwise if I didn't I'd end up getting too boggled down in "virgil said this according to this translation" and "ovid went more in this direction following this translator" details. and there is no way in hell i'm struggling through translating on my own with my measle little two years of latin classes under my belt lskdjfkldfj.

But regardless, here's a very basic and brief summary that most versions tend to follow: Eurydice and orpheus are married. Eurydice dies. Orpheus treks out to the underworld through the power of music to save her and get her back. He's told the only way he can have her is if he makes the treacherous trip back to the mortal realm without turning to look at her once. He looks back right before he makes it, and fails in saving her. Sounds familiar, right? slkdjfsk

Don't get me wrong, orpheus cellbit still makes sense in a way. That's part of why the poll and idea in general is so interesting. Heed the disclaimer again but to me, the biggest, most obvious, and most immediately linked connotation the myth has always had is one of devotion. Like the type of devotion that would take you all the way into the afterlife and all the way back in the hopes that that might save the person you love. Cellbit cubito is nothing if not devoted, and normally in the loudest ways possible. He loves shouting out his devotion at all times to anyone in close proximity. It just makes sense that if anyone could hold the level of devotion necessary to be orpheus it'd be him, cause we all know he'd do anything for roier.

Plus being honest, it also makes sense just going by the dynamics in their relationship that they most often present to others. Roier cubito kinda likes playing into the dynamic of asking other people to "save" him, whether that's from mobs or hunger or anything, so long as it's not something actually serious. So much so that the idiot (said lovingly) has conditioned everyone, and I do mean everyone, both islanders and audience alike, into thinking he's defenseless and needs saving. Maxo put it best that one time when he said he felt like roier after cellbit saved him from some mobs, only for cellbit to have to correct him and say that it's usually the other way around. As far as most are concerned, cellbit does the rescuing while roier gleefully asks for the help. It is very easy to make the jump from the idea that eurydice is being saved and the image of roier cubito calling out for help with a scorpion that he could (normally at least, I know he didn't have any weapons or gear that one time during purgatory) bring down on his own. It definitely doesn't help that cellbit is, of course and as always, already running to roier with a weapon in hand to kill the scorpion. At the first chance, he's already trying to help. Anything for his husband.

So it makes sense that orpheus cellbit, who clearly loves doing the saving, would drag himself through hell in his devotion to save eurydice roier, who loves being the one saved! But then you start remembering how the story came about. You start wondering, well, why does the devotion need to be so strong? Why does eurydice even need to be saved? What has brought the both of them to the gates of the afterlife? Oh. Right. It's because she died. She's dead. Eurydice, the love of orpheus’ life, is dead. 

Saving her takes and is devotion, yes, but it's also an attempt to escape grief. If she’s saved, there’s no need to mourn. If she’s saved, then she’s not dead and there’s no grief. And, always, there is no one more grief-riddled than roier (except maybe maxo, whose grief has permanently killed him). No one knows more intimately than roier how tough of a fight it is to escape constant grief because he is constantly grieving, and it just keeps getting worse. His number one recurring theme since arriving on the island has been that he will lose loved ones. To the point that sometimes, even if the person is still technically around, the grief around them and the relationship that once was finds ways to persist (just look at the mess that revolved around spreen cubito before he was confirmed to be dead).

The devotion still applies to him too, of course. Even though it's in quieter ways, there's no denying that roier is as equally devoted to cellbit as cellbit is to him. Cellbit once promised roier he'd rescue him if the feds ever arrested him. Roier once told cellbit he'd go after him and wouldn't stop until he got him back if the feds tried taking cellbit again. And that's not even the only time roier has promised that, he's said similar things multiple times before. He even had to fulfill that same promise once already, back during the regret arc when cellbit went missing trying to save felps. If there is one thing that is true, it's that roier is not lacking in orpheusian devotion.

Actually, extending that devotion from being based in romantic love to also including familial love just makes it all the clearer how much of an orpheus roier has already been. Orpheus fights through the journey, holding on to hope and powering himself through devotion, because the alternative of having permanently lost eurydice, of having to succumb to grief, is too much for him to take. Roier fought through the entire island and later a dungeon, holding on to hope and powering himself through devotion, because the alternative of having permanently lost bobby, of having to succumb to the grief of loosing his son to something outside of his control, was too much for him to take.

And then they both fail. Orpheus looks back too early. Sometimes he forgets, in his excitement to be so close to the end, sometimes doubt gets the best of him and he has to check, and sometimes the need to see his love again overwhelms all his senses. Sometimes maybe it's somehow all three. Roier also looked back too early, in a way, but cucurucho only knows what way that actually was. It could have been that he technically did die right at the very end before he could make it through the dungeon, or it could have been that the gods were feeling particularly cruel that day. Either way, bobby wasn't returned to him. Either way, eurydice vanishes in the morning light after orpheus gets one last glimpse of her. Either way, Bobby vanishes behind the door after roier and jaiden are given only 10 minutes to say goodbye.

This is all without even touching on some of the details about how roier's singing charms everyone he meets and how music is such an important part of his character (for those of you unfamiliar with the myth, orpheus' connection to music is so deep that the greeks named a constellation after his lyre). Or, as notes in the last version of this post pointed out, how his previous journeys to the underworld have shaken his faith and trust (which would probably need to be a whole entire other post on its own). 

Roier is just permanent orpheus. He can't help it. If you believe that characters in myths are left behind, endlessly retelling their journeys even once the book is closed, then orpheus is still there, making that trip to the afterlife and back. His story is being retold through roier, who is here now. Roier, who has already gone on two trips to the afterlife and back, already told this story twice before, and is now preparing himself for a third (even a fourth, if you want to extend this whole thing and include purgatory and the eggs). It’s retold in how Roier has to do the saving, again, because he keeps getting left behind. In how he’s always drowning in grief, in some way or another. How he’ll drag himself through the journey every single time if it means a chance at saving someone he loves. If it means saving himself from more grief.

So the stage is set. Purgatory happened. Orpheus has loved, again, and he's lost, again. Roier may like it when he's the one being saved but he's been forced yet again into a position where he has a chance to do the saving. He's facing an increasingly insurmountable mountain of grief on one side and a plunging chance at salvation on the other. The book has been turned back to its first page. The story is rewinding to tell itself again. We know what path he'll pick. Now all that’s left is to see if this third trip succeeds. To see if this retelling is one where orpheus does not look back. And if he does? Well.

"Dying again, [Eurydice] did not blame her husband — What could she complain of except she was loved?" - ovid, translator: stanley lombardo

[raayllum]

hi. i always see your analysis and theories in my dash and they're always so well thought and interesting and conecting a lot of things i personally would never think to conect but actually make so much sense when put like that

so hm, not to be weird online, but how does one learn to like interpret and understand what's going on on a piece of midia, yk, cause only consuming doesn't do it? Anyway

your edits are really nice

FIRST OFF this is soo nice omg thank you <333 also never worry about being weird online i'm always more unhinged, this is an unhinged space

which ironically is kind of the best way to get good at literary analysis tbh! I wrote a post about it here but that was more on how to organize thoughts / write meta > finding the things to write meta about (aka the "this feels gratuitous" draft is still in my drafts as we speak — might be time to clean it and some others up and post it).

In a lot of ways there tends to be like.... two main avenues for analysis? Which is an oversimplification but is making sense to me in the moment, and I'd specify the divide is

Treating characters like people (characterization, relationships) vs treating characters like tools (motifs, symbols, plot structure, dynamics).

Ideally, a narrative merges these two things so completely it's hard to separate, and I think TDP does an extaordinarily good job at it. I'll call this marriage Theme since its the main idea(s) of the Story/Narrative and everything should at its best be working together in service of the Theme if you want something cohesive.

I'll use Callum and Rayla as an example just cause I think they exemplify a Lot of how/why this all works and works as well as it does.

If I want to write about Callum and Rayla's internal psyches, i.e. where does Callum's temper or Rayla's gruffness come from? I'm going to look at them as people. They're going to have consistent triggers, responses, contradictory emotions or emotional reactions, etc. This is like the how you wrap a present, the colour and feel of the paper. Any character in a story can technically have any kind of personality, i.e. an assassin can be sweet and snarky (like Rayla) or stoic and rigid (Runaan). That's not all they are, of course, but the characters' personalities often times affect how and why we ship what we do, or have certain favourites, etc.

For example, Callum's primary Narrative Purpose is to be a human mage. He's there to explore the range of possibilities a human who wants/chases magic in the story can have, and we pretty closely follow his magical journey of feeling powerless, struggling and achieving primal magic, and guilt and desperation that drives him to dark magic. But absolutely none of this means that Callum needed to have a temper.

To see the way a character trait can be married to a motif (repeating symbol) let's look at Rayla. Rayla can be secretive — not telling people everything and being closed off about her emotions — and often leaves to try do things on her own, occasionally flat out disappearing. These are her personality traits (characterization), most of these psychological aspects come back to not feeling like she deserves help or not wanting to hurt people, thereby hurting her relationships. She's a person.

At the same time, these traits help us as the audience understand and grasp how the series treats the Moon and its arcanum. The Moon is a symbol, and it's all about changing faces, secrets, and illusions. We don't know whether the ideas for the Moon arcanum (which seem to be loosely taken from Tarot) or Rayla's personality came first, but it's clear that at some point they merged to reflect each other.

If I want to talk about Rayla as a person, I'll talk about how her personality/choices affect her relationships. If I want to talk about how she reflects her primal or how she choices affect the plot, I'll be talking more about structure. If I want to talk about how both of those things say, in a speculative meta about Callum connecting to the Moon arcanum as he understands Rayla (and himself) better, then I'd be talking about both simultaneously (theme).

But those are all like, examples of how you can break stuff down that you see. How do you go looking for stuff / know what to break down?

1) Pick a piece of media, ideally one you already feel very comfortable and familiar with. Book, show, whatever. This familiarity means you can focus less on the processing the plot and more about other elements of the story. Then watch or read the thing but try to pay attention to like, a few pre-chosen ideas or themes. It could be the theme of power, or — I'm thinking for something like ATLA - how the characters reflect their elements (Aang is evasive and avoidant, and air is light and breezy, etc).

For a TV show in particular, it can mean breaking things down scene by scene in an episode to see what the anchoring idea of it, i.e. 1x06 in TDP is all about Soren, Claudia, and Rayla keeping secrets. Soren and Claudia keep their secrets and isolate themselves, because isolationism in the series is usually Bad; Rayla shares her secret, because working through problems and letting people help you (being collaborative) is Good, etc. These messages are pretty consistent throughout the rest of the show as well.

If applicable, I'd recommend starting out with stories where you already know the ending and/or even better, the story itself is aware you know the ending from the beginning (i.e. in Titanic, you always know the ship is going to sink). This can help you pick up on dramatic irony (everyone emphasizing the ship won't sink) as well as setup (the movie making sure we know there's not enough boats, people making the boat go faster, the moment the ship hits the iceberg literally separating Jack and Rose from each other to set up what happens later, etc).

2) If you wanna learn how to analyze, to a certain degree you have to learn to shut down your feelings and biases. This doesn't mean that feelings can't affect how you analyze, or dictate what you want to analyze (I feel very positively towards TDP and therefore I want to deeply analyze it! same with Rayllum) but it does mean leaving "I want this thing so it has to happen" at the door — or vice versa.

The best example I can give is a hypothetical one. For example, it kind of doesn't matter if I — personally — think that Callum and Rayla have known each other that long to know each other well. (I don't, for the record, but bear with me.) In the Text of the Story, they know each other incredibly well, and more to the point, thematically, their senses of self are so incredibly intertwined that them affirming each other's senses of self is like... the only place we could be going. Rayla is "Rayla saves people," so by saving a possessed Callum she's saving herself, and if she goes to kill him, she's likewise metaphorically going to be killing herself (her own sense of identity), etc.

Or for a non-ship example, my real life feelings about monarchy don't matter. I don't like monarchy, I think most western monarchies are crap... and I'd be silly if I brought those feelings into TDP's discussion of monarchy, because they're using monarchy as a vessel to discuss things like power, responsibility, and growing up, particularly for Ezran and Janai (and how often do we see non-white monarchies in media anyway?). And if I want to engage with those themes, then I have to engage with TDP's discussion of monarchy.

It's kind of like how even if something in a story grosses you out or makes you uncomfortable, you have to be really damn sure that wasn't an Intentional writing choice on Purpose or a chance for self reflection before it's launched as a complaint.

Doing this kind of awareness and predictive work also means you'll get better at predicting where stories might be going and leaving ahead of time if something is going off the rails / not going your way (in a bad way).

3) Growing a list of common themes and symbols that stories tend to have. Birds = freedom, chains = entrapment and coercion, grief, identity (particularly in coming-of-age stories), etc. If you have a loose idea of what to look for, that means you can also start to look at the specifics of how stories use these themes/symbols. For example, Midsummer Night's Dream and Romeo and Juliet both feature a theme of love amongst forbidden lovers, but the first is a comedy (love conquers all, even if it makes people foolish) and the second is a tragedy (love is not always enough to conquer hate/violence/our worst impulses).

For example in TDP, although it was in the background in s1-s3, light and darkness has now become a very overt motif (repeated symbol) in both dialogue and imagery. Tracking what those things represent or how the show complicates their meaning (light isn't always good, etc) can help indicate where certain characters or plot beats are going.

This can also mean trying to notice consistent metaphors (i.e. dark magic is often consumed by the caster for spells / referenced with cannibalistic language; dark magic corruption is increasingly seen as spreading sickness/illness) and then being on the lookout for the next time(s) they show up. So much of media literacy / critical thinking is just being able to explain/figure out why you think what you think (with evidence) and it's always a skill that can be nurtured and improved

End of Blabbing

Very long winded but hopefully helpful, and always feel free to ask more questions and/or DM if you'd like! I always love talking about stuff like this and it's such a treat tbh <3

[our-queerplatonic-experience]

I honestly don't know how to start this cause I'm awkward lol but basically: my mom thinks my close(ish?) Friend is my "boyfriend"... could not be further from the truth 💀 (also sorry this is a bit long btw i like detail & that is a pain for me to deal with sometimes. This could be catagorized as venty but this is meant to be just a bit of a mind dump)

I'm aromantic asexual (romo+sex repulsed/adverse) & bigender (boy+girl), the um- suspected "boyfriend": she's a lesbian trans woman. This has happened a couple times, ligit were that mean gay & overly nice lesbian meme & somehow A NOTABLE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE THINK WERE DATING 💀 told her like imidiatly over text just to clear anything up like if my moms weird or smth. She was just like "oh shit" & we havnt mentioned it since.

What makes it a bit awkward tho is I DO lowkey have a squish/qp crush on her, on & off, but I know that my attraction tends to fade & waver with time (like- Lithqueerplatonic / Queerplatonicflux I guess). So I wouldn't really want to be in like, a qpr w/ her. That & I've always kinda "worry" that my boy/masc part may make most lesbians uncomfortable being in a qpr with me and vice versa with gay men & my girl/ fem part.

Anyway I just have really intense platonic feelings when I do have them & I wish as a society we were more ok with expressing that ;> RELASHIONSHIP ANARCHY WHEN?? when will ppl be "allowed" to kiss their homies goodnight without it being perceived romantic?? WHEN ;D (I'm also on the aplatonic spectrum, dont have many friends & dont plan on having many. I think too many ppl overwhelm me.)

My ideal QPR would just be like: cuddling/leaning on eachother, time together, nicknames & small gifts of appreciation (inexpensive &/or handmade stuff or food), I find kissing weird as a concept so a no for that personally in general. And like, at this point... thinking out loud idk if I want to do that w/ her specifically or if I just want a qpr? Cause like I'd only feel comfortable even touching ppl I'm fairly if not really close to & she checks that box by being in my short friend list. For reference: I only started regularly hugging & saying I love you to my best friend recently & we've known eachother & been mutually eachothers best friends for a decade. (I used to occasionally question if i had qp feelings for him but I am like VERY sure it's just heavy platonic appreciation. i love him so much hes the brother i never had i fr cannot stress how much i love him hes fr fr the best bro bro not even related to the topic really i just want to say that i love tf out of him hes awsome)

Anyway plz prey/etc that I don't get weirded out by my mom so much that I come out as aroace 💀 (i find even the idea of being in a romantic/sexual relationship repusing & unconfortable to think about. Just not my thing, if that changes fine i just don't anticipate that happening. Also I don't think she's like, a "kick me out" aphobic, just an uneducated 1. I just don't want to deal w/ any of it tbh. I want a clean cut "I am [blank]" statment and for the "conversation" to be over with but I don't expect that ) tldr: wish me luck on this journey of the cringe that is existing ☺

good luck!!!!! existing do be difficult but it will be okay :]

[hunter-sylvester]

I know you do character analysis, would you be alright elaborating about Hunter and his relationship with his parents? Everyone says he has mommy issues, but it looks like it could be a mixture of daddy issues as well.

I would fucking love to, Anon.

(Ao3 Character Analysis Series about Hunter)

I do think it’s very clear that he has mommy issues. From the small handful of references there are to her, it’s obvious. While he has clear on-screen issues with his father, he still keeps a picture of him and his dad on his bookshelf. His mother- however, is violently ripped from it. Something that can easily be read as a visual metaphor for how he feels about her absence from his life. Although I personally tend to write her as having been directly abusive which creates a slightly different whirlwind of issues, in either case she abandoned him. And we clearly see him display a fear of abandonment around Kevin. There’s a clear cause and effect there.

But I entirely agree that he also has daddy issues. It’s a noxious cocktail of neither parent being someone that understands him or knows how to make him feel at home. And it’s precisely that cocktail of issues that makes Hunter make so much sense to me as a character.

It’s not exactly my style to give fathers a lot of sympathy, but even without doing so, it's easy to see that everything Alan Sylvester does in canon shows he just has no idea what to do with Hunter. (Most notably when he literally gives up on parenting him in favor of dumping him in rehab).

He completely fumbles any weak attempts he does make at connecting with/parenting him and they all end in screaming matches.

“Sorry you’re just a little late with the whole ‘parenting’ thing” (when I tell you I feel that line)

Growing up with a parent (partially more, since his mother was around until 7th grade) present without anyone actually bothering to parent you, you end up growing crooked.

Can’t go any other way. Even if his parents were never mentioned, we’d know they were shitty parents based purely on Hunter’s issues.

In my mind, they’re both obviously neglectful. Evident both from the aforementioned quote as well as just the way that Hunter acts.

Each in their respective ways. His mother by literally removing herself from his life. His father by neglecting him emotionally, not hugging him, etc. (I'm assuming he never hugs Hunter based on the deeply awkward shoulder tap during the last scene of the film.) Also, this is a bit of a stretch based on vibes alone. But can you picture Alan cooking for Hunter? Can you picture them having dinner together? I can’t. It’s a bit of a headcanon but I personally believe Hunter has been making his own food for years. (note: this does not necessarily imply that he is a good cook)

Let’s also not forget that Hunter is just a seventeen year old boy. He is still a child (in canon). And a fucking troubled one at that.

One that likely grew up with nobody telling him it was ok to be him. No-one telling him he belonged. No-one showing him how to healthily handle his emotions. (This is one I blame heavily on the father.)

He had to figure everything out for himself. Reinvent the wheel at every step. Of course he’s gonna fuck up along the way. He’s just a kid.

Of course he freaks out when he thinks he’s losing Kevin, he’s already been shown that he can be discarded- and by one of the primary people that are supposed to be there for him.

Of course he’s a bit of a bitch about alcohol when he watches his father drink all the time and he would probably rather die than turn out like him.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Alan also contributed to Hunter’s inability to accept his sexuality. At the very lightest he’d be homophobic in that casual way dads are. The “I don’t care what they do behind closed doors” followed by the most homophobic ‘joke’ you can think of twenty minutes, if not seconds, later. But I wouldn't rule out more blatant queerphobia.

In any case, it’s a clear & constant signal that being queer is not something that’s acceptable for a Sylvester. And as much as Hunter fights his father, as much as I think he dreads being like him, he’s the only parent he has left at this point.

He still wants to be loved. He’s a kid. He needs a loving parent. Even if he, realistically, doesn’t really have one that’s worth appeasing.

Consciously, he’ll rebel. Subconsciously, he still looks up at his father and wants to be told he did well. He wants someone to be proud of him, he wants to be enough.

Call me a pessimist but I think at this point, even if Alan tried, the relationship is so laden with barbed wire that nothing is possibly getting through.

Anything would be too little & too fucking late.

Sorry that got a little fucking bleak...it's me, it's what happens lol Thank you for asking, Anon 🤘

[atla-confessions]

I can't stand Zutara but something about Zutaraang makes me so happy.

I'm convinced every zutara problem could be fixed via zutaraang. (Before I move forward, while I understand if this is tagged anti zutara, I am not anti zutara, I quite like zutara, when I speak of 'problems' it is because there are problems and conflicts in every relationship. There are also plenty with kataang and zukaang but this ask wasn't abt those two.)

So one of the biggest things I think they'd struggle with is they're both so strongwilled, you just KNOW they're gonna bump heads sometimes. Both of them have a tendancy of lashing out with harsh words when they get angry or frusterated. That combined is a recipe for disaster.

Enter Aang, who is repeatedly shown to be a peacemaker. Enter Aang who is repeatedly shown to be able to take bad bahavior and just shrug it off. Enter Aang who'd be the number 1 zutara shipper whether or not he was in that relationship lmao and would be estatic to scheme to set them up toward getting along. (A lot of locking them in a closet tbh)

I also think zutara just tend to make bad decisions together, namely going to kick people's asses (which is also something I love about them lmao, you cannot leave them alone for five minutes before they're plotting some raid on an asshole)

Enter Aang who's literally that meme of the person holding the leash with the gremlin only there's two kwbdjsdbb one of my favorite zutaraang ideas is Aang having a set of rules like, sure, go off and kick ass, but don't get caught and no more than three broken bones please. I think it's a good compromise.

Zutara are neither very subtle. They'd be causing drama and political problems All The Time lmao, collectively the thorn in everyone's side.

Enter Aang who can lie like a snake and be like "that doesn't sound like my Katara and Zuko :0 besides, they were with me that night :) you trust the avatar don't you? :)" And like, who's gonna disagree? That's the avatar. This works almost every time but they're all aware that EVENTUALLY he's not going to be able to pull that off, which is why "don't get caught" is one of the rules ksnfnsndnd

Also, Zuko and Katara have shown to have a tendancy of giving a certain kind of attention that the other would struggle with. Zuko has his severe possesive issues, and Katara gets a little Too determined to help everyone even when they make it clear they want to be left alone. Katara would not react positively to someone trying to control what she can do or who she can talk to, and Zuko tries to fight anyone who dares make him feel even slightly vulnerable when he's not in the right mindset for it jsbdnsndnd

Enter Aang, who would be a fatastic distraction. Zuko's trying to be possessive? Well he can't be posessive over Katara AND Aang at the same time now can he, Aang's probably perfectly happy to let Zuko scare people off sometimes (being the avatar has got to be socially draining.) Katara's prodding at Zuko a little too much? Aang's perfectly happy to have deep conversations about emotions to quell her need for that until Zuko's ready.

I'm just saying, Aang is the perfect bridge between them. I love zutaraang so much. I love these trigger happy idiots and their long suffering pacifist nsbfnsndns

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