#not gone just quiet

[ninasdrafts]

Ahhh hi hey hello! I didn't realise you'd missed me so thank you for the lovely comments on my latest piece! I missed you guys too. Sorry it's been so quiet - I'm gonna tell you why so you'll understand. My boyfriend and I are building/renovating our future home so that's obviously a lof of work and takes sooo much time. I use what little time I have to work on my book and sadly there is hardly any time left to write and update my socials regularly. I miss writing and I miss sharing my pieces with you, but I'll try to check in frequently and whenever I find a spare minute to pen something down, you'll find it on here☺️

See you soon! 🤍

[sleepyside]

Another thing that haunts me about this entire thing is that Amanda wasn’t just funny like her coworkers, or funny like other Disney and Nickelodeon actresses. Amanda Bynes was funny like Carol Burnett. Funny like Lucille Ball. She was effervescent and classic. Her comedic sensibilities were deeply intelligent. She had *it*. And she should have grown into one of the best actresses of our generation. But *something* happened and derailed it all. Even if she’s not the same, I truly hope she’s well and happy. I want nothing but the best for her, even if it’s a quiet and private life. I adored her back then and always will.

[azuneekun]

Hello azu, I have a question about the cover of your fancomic "Godfather"!

I like your comic, but I don't understand the symbolism of the mourning frame next to Shane, could you explain it to me?

I just think that the grief of losing his loved ones killed him too, if that makes sense.

Godfather comic

[everysongineverykey]

very pleased to report that i tried literally counting sheep last night and got my first full night's sleep in like a week in a long period of sleepless nights!!

[shithowdy]

realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.

... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

i wish there was a way to psychically send someone a little pulse of energy that says "a stranger a long way away is thinking of you with care"

[possamble]

i think she was the most annoying baby on earth i wouldnt be able to take it (affectionate)

there are only two kinds of autism. the one where it takes you so long to start talking that your parents are worried something's wrong with you and then you suddenly start speaking in full sentences when you're 2 years old (laios and falin) and the one where you simply Do Not Shut Up the second you can make even vaguely word-like sounds (marcille)

love her. she's so funny. im so sure she was babbling on with the full intonation of someone who knows what they're saying but in completely unintelligible noises, some half-words borrowed from elven and common lmao

[palespawn]

immersion-breakers when playing as origin astarion for the first time:

he's the camp leader

all the companions wanna fuck him

[h-didanart]

Hey, do you guys remember that agony//ghost thing the FNaF lore has? Yeah? Cool

Do you guys know any of the synonyms to agony there are? Like, suffering, torment, throes, and the like? Yeah? Cool

Are you guys familiar with my Quiet Throes au//fic thing? Yeah? Cool

Agony ghost Bloodmoon. They torment the hell out of the bastard, and hang around Solar sometimes. But mostly stick around Ruin, staring at him, messing with his things, throwing stuff at him, and generally making his life miserable (as it should be)

Tw for the images below: implied suicide attempt, referenced character death, and implied torture//sa

[helloworldjj]

no thoughts only tsukasa and the way he emphatically includes anyone without a second thought

he may be just the littlest bit dense and overwhelming when interacting with others but he has that bright-eyed enthusiasm and willingness to accept others wholeheartedly that reminds me of how younger kids are. and not in a “wow he’s so childish and immature” way. he’s just so BRIGHT and unapologetically himself in the way that kids who are beginning to experience the world tend to be. and that’s such a perfect contrast to the rest of the cautious heart class.

despite his childhood loneliness, his personality wasn’t dampened and he’s honestly not what you’d describe as “cautious” lmao. he kinda skipped that phase where kids become self-conscious of their actions and suppress themselves for the sake of fulfilling expectations. whereas the others in the aptly named cautious heart class have aren’t as true to themselves in some way and are working to be more so

mafuyu, trying to find herself again and obviously having her “good girl” persona

honami, working to stand for her own opinions and ideas instead of always appeasing everyone

kohane, learning to be more out there and to stop worrying about what everybody thinks so much

haruka, always being in idol-mode and realizing that it’s okay to take breaks from that. (her story is different from shizuku’s and how shizuku previously had to hide her clumsiness and whatnot to be the perfect idol in Cheerful*Days, but I think that naturally as an idol, there’s going to be discrepancy between Haruka as a person and Haruka in the eyes of others/fans. this is very apparent in the miya girls school festival event where a girl tells haruka that she’s realized haruka isn’t some unapproachable professional idol that people think her to be. saki inviting haruka to the event committee provided haruka the opportunity to relax and show the less serious, regular-high-school-girl side of herself)

at first glance, tsukasa might seem like he’s an outlier in the cautious heart class. but in actuality, he fits so well because he’s just so great at encouraging the rest of the class to throw away any “cautions” about fitting into a certain expectation and just be themselves instead. obviously he himself doesn’t seem to care much about what others think of him, so he shows the others that it’s not so bad to put yourself out there

hence why he seems to be leading the class in the MV (when I watched it, I initially found it odd that he was so prominent lmao. I have thoughts on rui’s placement in the MV as well but i feel like that’s gonna turn out to be another long ramble LMAO)

tsukasa tenma, you endearing, endearing little man <3

[violetsinyoureyesandguns]

[omo-my-gosh]

someone who's being very vocal about their need to pee and then watching as they get less vocal and less antsy and less squirmy.....bc now they're really desperate.....and they don't have the resources to waste on anything but trying so so so hard not to lose control....

[quick-catton]

HAPPY ST PATRICK'S DAY INDEED. GOOD GRAVY

[ladyamericanasstuff]

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

do—

Do Howdy and Barnaby ever get together in your human au 🥺🥺

of course they do, who do you think i am

oh BOY do i have things to say about human!Laughingstock! im so unwell about them allow me to talk and talk and talk and ta-

~

so in this au they're like... the ultimate slowburn. their feelings for each other slowly simmer and grow over the course of *checks nonexistent watch* a lil over a decade i think. it's not very dramatic - just soft & silly w/ just a heap of pining and a pinch of angst for Flavor

it starts when they were teens - Howdy had a lil crush on Barnaby in middle school. and how could he not? Barnaby was cute, hilarious, and kind. at this point, they weren't friends! Barnaby knew Howdy's name, but only because they'd shared a school since elementary (as with 6/7 of the other neighbors) & speaking from experience, you just Know Those Names. Howdy slowly "grew out of" this crush, especially when the friend group started forming and he & Barnaby became actual friends.

that crush would fluctuate over the years. It starts out strong and then softens into just this hum in the back of Howdy's mind. always there, often easy to ignore, just... part of him, in a way.

Barnaby has a similar experience. when he and Howdy became friends, he got a lil crush - how could he not? Howdy was cute, laughed at all of his jokes and had a few of his own, and was endearingly eccentric. but at the time, Barnaby didn't recognize the crush for what it was. so he elected to ignore it until the crush dwindled to something easily manageable, something he wouldn't realize is still there. as with Howdy's, it'd never fully go away

and its noticeable enough to their friends that they'd all kinda side-eye how touchy Howdy & Barnaby are with each other (Barnaby is a physical guy, but damn. if Howdy is nearby they Will find a way to be touching at all times), the way they always laugh at each others jokes, the way they always ask "where's [x] / is [x] coming with" whenever the other is absent. but the group couldn't be sure if they were looking into it or not. it's too subtle. over time they get so used to it that they don't bat an eye - Howdy is Barnaby's best friend after Wally. of course they're close!

but then there's this one college party Howdy drags Barnaby to (and by extension, Wally). they're drunk off their asses, Wally's edible has kicked in, the party is pretty chill and everyone is having a decent time. all three of them are on the couch, and Barnaby and Howdy start drunk-complimenting each other. naturally, this feeds their mutual attraction, and one thing leads to another! they make out on the couch. naturally with Wally sandwiched between them, snacking on chips and committing the moment to memory (it's a surprise tool that'll help them later!) neither Barnaby nor Howdy will remember this

now, something i'd like to state for Barnaby in this au! he has had a lot of relationships - from one night stands to actually dating someone for months. sometimes the one night stands were a "he takes someone home after a date, & they leave while he's sleeping and ghost him" situation. with actual dating, the other person always breaks things off after a few weeks, if not days. it breaks Barnaby's heart a little bit every time. to the point where in his mid-20s, he just... stops dating. he avoids other people's advancements towards him, he always takes a friend with him to bars/etc as a buffer, he becomes an expert at gracefully turning people down

("why, pray tell" no one asks "do they always leave him? he's such a catch!" that he is! when he was in school, it was his friend group. he'd try to introduce his 'girlfriend' to his friends, and it'd be an immediate "eugh, you're friends with those freaks? no way!" as an adult, people found it off-putting how (by societal standards) unusually close he was with Wally. also, again, a "weird" friend group. they'd think it's too much, or just not their scene, or 'why don't you date your little blue haired boyfriend', etc. Barnaby never holds it against Wally or his friends. he has the mindset of if that person was the one, they would accept every part of Barnaby - and his friends are indeed part of him. Howdy has also dated around a little, but to a much lesser extent. he's too busy! he doesn't have time for that!)

but the ball really starts rolling in their late 20s. something the group does together - as a fun lil rare hobby - is LARPing. they get really into it! Sally made them all custom costumes, Julie helped make the weapons (like a giant sword for herself), etc etc. they fully commit to the bit (even Frank <3). so at this event's point in the timeline, Eddie is fully integrated into the clique, but that's unimportant - just to show where we are!

so they're all doing their thing, it's a pretty big LARP event - there's always way more people than our dear neighbors, yk. they're just part of the crowd! & there's a big battle hosted, the group is split between teams, but Barnaby & Howdy are on the same side! yay! during the battle, Barnaby is "mortally wounded." Howdy half-drags him away from the main battle under the cover of their teammates (including Eddie and Julie) and sits him down by the tree. now, Howdy & Barnaby are the ones who get into the roleplay the most. they get lost in the sauce! they perform the hell out of everything they do!

& since Barnaby is "dying", he really acts like it. Howdy acts accordingly, but again, they get a little too emotional, a little too into it, a little lost in the sauce. genuine tears are in their eyes, Howdy's voice is genuinely shaking a little as he holds Barnaby in his "dying moments" (Barnaby is holding the sword between his arm and his side. he has ketchup on his armor.) Eddie and Julie are getting choked up just watching this happen. and as Howdy & Barnaby look into each others' tear-filled eyes, those little feelings that have been so quiet for so long come right back babey! full force! but then they all get hit with "arrows" and have to die right there and then, and the moments over. but! both Barnaby & Howdy walk away from this LARP session grappling with Partially Realized Feelings.

Barnaby struggles with this the most, since yk at this point he's sworn off dating. he's being careful with his heart! but when he tells Wally all of this, cause he tells Wally everything, Wally's like "oh. yes, i know! remember that one college party where you two kissed for an hour". and then he goes on to point out every instance where he's thought "right, Howdy and Barnaby are in love" (bc Wally is way more observant than he lets on! he saw that shit! his peepers were peepin!)

BUT IT'S STILL A SLOW BURN BABEY!

Barnaby and Howdy don't approach each other about this. they're both in the boat of "well, i'll just keep going and see what happens" to the point where they're practically dating without ever saying anything to each other. Howdy notices how Barnaby lingers around the store more. Barnaby notices how Howdy keeps turning up at his work to talk more. (they already chat so much...) but they still! dont! say! anything! but they both Know! they're not emotionally circling each other they are Dancing to their Own Music!

and Barnaby is letting himself believe that this can work because, well... Howdy already accepts him as he is. Howdy is part of the group. Howdy loves Wally just like the rest of em. Howdy has seen Barnaby at his (presumed) worst and didn't even flinch! as for Howdy, well, he just thinks this is right! his whole life no one has really caught his eyes or heart, but Barnaby is different. he's always been in Howdy's peripherals. it feels natural to love him so deeply. Barnaby slots into his life like the final piece of a puzzle!

there's a lot of stuff that happens in this inbetween state - Howdy's store burns down & almost takes him with it, there's some family drama that needs to be handled, The Crash happens, etc etc etc - so it's a while before they "actually" get together. but they're both patient! they've waited this long, even if they didn't know they were waiting. neither of them are in a rush. they're young. they have time.

[adamprrishcycle]

WAKE UP trc fandom