#not gatekeeping by not mentioning the specific names

[mysteriouslypeculiar]

who's ur fav band rn ?

god that's a hard one. i went to check statsforspotify and the sweeney todd cast album is on it in three different ways. (I just broke free of my hyperfixation)

aside from sweeney todd, i've been listening to a lot of metal lately, namely a few local metal bands. i went to a metal concert at a bar a week ago, and I've been listening to a few of the bands' music lately.

i listen to a lot of playlists/mixes, so it's rare that i listen to just one band's discography enough for me to have a "favorite band". my primary fav genres are ethereal wave and several flavors of metal (gothic, symphonic, death metal, symphonic death metal, etc)

I like a lot of Theatres Des Vampires' songs, and Inkubus Sukkubus used to be my number 1 for a WHILE. Switchblade Symphony and Mephisto Walz too. I could prob link a few playlists from spotify that I listen to.

[lunimy]

i have sooooo many thoughts about the relationship the system has w/ freddy and everything he does and how they deal with it someday i’ll write about it

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

the elitism in magic education

HELLO 🤡 I have come to you today with an analysis of Fellow Honest's motives and what they imply about the mages and non-mages in the world of Twisted Wonderland, as well as the state of magic education as it relates to one's social status. It's a doozy, so let's get right into it! ***WARNING: Spoilers for Stage in Playful Land!!***

Fellow's resentment of the elite harkens back to something I've always suspected but also something that Twisted Wonderland has seldom gone out of its way to shine a harsh spotlight on. That "something" is the discrepancy between the "haves" and the "have-nots" in terms of magic. With the main setting of TWST being a private magic school, of course the lens through which we view many events will be from this perspective as well... and that limits what we see and hear. Most of the NPCs we encounter (even the annoying ones, such as the Magicam Monsters from the first Halloween event) endlessly praise the NRC students just for attending a famous magic school. If we look closely though, we’ll start to see cracks in the shiny rose-colored lenses (which, coincidentally, is how Fellow’s UM name is written).

To begin with, we are told that only 10% of the human population (for the sake of argument, let's assume that most other races also have low magic rates) is even capable of magic to begin with. Of this 10%, the majority of people with the aptitude for magic only have enough to barely be able to lift a cup. In order to qualify for a prestigious magic school like Night Raven College or Royal Sword Academy, you'd literally have to be the cream of the crop and get lucky in terms of genetics. Magic cannot be learned by someone that was not born with the innate ability for it, and not everyone who is the child of a mage will be capable of magic themselves. This is already one HUGE barrier for entry. We now have more to consider.

Night Raven College is notably a private boarding school. This potentially means that students may need to pay a tuition fee for classes, room, and board. Perhaps this tuition doesn't exist, since NRC doesn't take applications but rather hand-selects its students. Additionally, NRC is based on a British school, and most European schools cost little to nothing to attend. However, it's hard to believe a school as fancy as NRC is a private institution that runs solely on the charity and goodwill of donors (though we do see Crowley happily accepting donations as well, specifically from the local town and from Kalim’s family). Realistically speaking, Stuff Costs Money, and if you Want Stuff, you also Need Money. NRC is not raising these mages of the future out of the goodness of their hearts, NRC is raising these mages because there is profit and prestige to be gained from the endeavor. What if there are students who are picked to go but end up having to leave because they can’t afford it?? This point is just speculative though; I won’t count it as actual evidence since there is no in-game lore which confirms tuition. We do know, however, that students do at least have to pay for their dorm uniforms, as Ruggie has mentioned he could not afford one—hence why he wears a hand-me-down from Leona. We also know students are on their own when it comes to paying for their food, as both Ruggie and Deuce mention being low on cash in reference to buying meals/snacks. Buuuuut even if we discount that money is a factor that gatekeeps some selected students from attending or having the cash to just get by on a daily basis, what we cannot ignore is that money inherently puts some people ahead of others before magic schools even recruit them.

Because the majority of those in Twisted Wonderland are incapable of using magic, magic is not typically included in general education. This means that if your kid manifests magic and you want them to be "ahead of the curve", you'd need to seek out resources for magic training and education. Now, this could mean reading materials, private tutoring, or reaching out to mages you know of. The problem with all of these things is that they tend to require money and/or connections, which are things not everyone has access to. Idia even says in book 6 that Riddle has an “artificially large” pool of magic due to how young Riddle started his magic training, meaning that the wealthy has the resources to just produce “better” mages. The rich also have more money to throw into items to help with magical training, such as bigger and better magestones (which must sell for substantial amount in the first place since Ruggie tries to save some to pawn off later in Vargas Camp) to keep mages healthier for longer (since magestones help absorb blot). This keeps power concentrated in an already elevated class. (Note: research has shown that money opens up and expands one's connections, which still puts the rich in an advantageous position compared to the less fortunate. There are also studies that show impoverished people who happen to have rich friends have a better chance of raising their own social standing just because of the doors and connections that rich friend can open for them.) Look at who in the main cast remarks on having formal magic training: literal royalty like Leona and the upper middle class like Riddle. Again, one could say that because schools like NRC appear to hand-pick students regardless of how much formal magic training they had prior to enrollment. However, the fact remains that it simply looks better to potential recruiters (using this blanket term because we don't know how magic schools besides NRC gets its students) and better prepares the child for magic school curriculum to get an early start on it.

Looking back at the 22 boys that make up the main cast, close to three-quarters or ~75% of them come from at least upper middle-class backgrounds and quite a few could classify as wealthy:

Riddle's parents are both doctors, with Riddle's mom in particular being well-known and well-regarded in their home community.

Cater's dad is a banker; his position is high enough up that he needs to relocate every so often (presumably to service their largest or most important firms).

Leona is a literal prince. Even if he isn't destined to be king, he still has access to the resources and wealth avaliable to a royal.

Azul's mom owns the most popular restaurant in the entire Coral Sea (have you seen how large the Coral Sea is on the world map???), and his stepdad is a lawyer.

The twins' family is said to be well-off; they are able to afford luxuries like fancy clothes and Mr. Leech stresses the importance of manners and presentation. He is implied to have business associates who are also well-off and would like to get in his good graces. (Popular fan speculation is that the Leeches are a crime family.)

Kalim is the heir to a massive family fortune and trading business. He also has relatives (by marriage, I believe) who are royals.

Jamil, as Kalim's attendant, is also from a reasonably well-off family; they receive benefits unique to being closely tied with the Asims, such as exposure to elite society and lessons to acquire various skills, albeit these benefits comes with being in the lower social position of a servant.

Vil's father is an A-list celebrity, and Vil is also one himself.

We don't know the specifics of what Rook's family does, but it must be well-paying, as we learn in book 5 that the Hunts have villas all over Twisted Wonderland, as well as permissions for international travel via warp pads.

Idia and Ortho's family run a secret organization that researches blot. S.T.Y.X. is so secretive that basically only those in super high positions like Crowley and Leona would know about them. Let's also not forget that the Shrouds have ties to the Jupiter Conglomerate and the Olympus Corp, which is a tech giant in the world of TWST.

Malleus is prince AND the heir to his kingdom’s throne. He is also one of the top 5 most powerful mages in the entire WORLD.

Lilia is a renown war general and a close friend of royalty. He raised a young Malleus as well.

Silver is Lilia's adopted son and is actually a prince himself.

Sebek's parents are dentists. They must make mad money. His grandfather is also a respected knight that served alongside Lilia.

Notice how all the dorm leaders are upper middle class or higher; the vice dorm leaders have ONE normal person (Trey); in Playful Land, Trey confesses to living a comfortable life so we know he must be at least middle class.

We can try to argue all we like that NRC doesn't discriminate based on social status for their selections, but if that's the case then why are so few of the main cast from impoverished or low-income families? Only Ace, Trey, and Jack count as squarely middle class. Ruggie is the only example we have of someone from a very low socioeconomic status rising up to be among "elites". The other example is Deuce, who comes from a single parent household and has implied they don't have a lot of money (for example: how the VDC/SDC earnings will help out his family). (Epel is kind of a ??? case because depending on where in the story you are, his family could be in financial trouble or not; in book 5, they imply his entire village is having difficulties selling product until Vil promotes Harveston apples on his Magicam.) Maybe it's unfair to say that 22 students out of 800ish is representative of the makeup of the entire NRC student population (or represents the composition of all magic schools), but Ruggie confirms in his Birthday Boy vignettes that a majority of the students at NRC are decently well-off. This single digit representation of low-income students is also true of real-life elite schools. They are private schools for a reason; it naturally gatekeeps who is and isn't "allowed" to attend, leading to the majority of its students being members of the elite.

Another thing to consider is legacy students. This term refers to the increased likelihood of people being accepted into a school if they had a relative that also attended that school. We know of two instances of this happening: Ace's brother and Sebek's brother also went to and graduated from Night Raven College. Ace even makes a remark during his sorting ceremony that he ended up in the same dorm as his older brother "as expected". If magic aptitude is genetic, then perhaps it makes sense to recruit from the same families--but again, this is inherently restrictive, as you would continuously be culling from the same pools generation after generation.

Back on the topic of bloodlines and family, what about Kalim, who has an extensive family? There will be no shortage of Asim mages going to NRC just because of legacy (Jamil even alludes to the fact that the previous Scarabia dorm leader was an Asim relative, and his recommendation is what got Kalim the dorm leader seat). And speaking of Kalim, consider instances where rich families are able to bribe faculty (lookin' at YOU, Crowley) or donate a large sum to get their kid ahead or to be given priority over others that may be more qualified than them (RIP Jamil). To continue off that point, NRC itself is structured as a "dog eat dog" world. Those with inherently more magical ability have the right to trump over others. You can duel and lose your dorm seat to a more powerful mage, even if you trump them in terms of merit or leadership qualities. Students feel a sense of duty to obey those who have bested them in battle (ie Epel's servitude to Vil). Everyone fears Malleus. Your magical power is respected above all else.

Attitudes surrounding magic have notably shifted from fear of it several hundreds of years ago (around the human-fae war, back when “witch” and “wizard” were used in a derogatory sense) to recognizing it for its strengths and actively seeking it or granting some favoritism to those who have it. There is, in fact, now class discrimination in based on whether or not you can use magic. We got an early instance of this as early as book 1 of the main story, when Riddle insults Yuu for their "pitiful" education and states that they were clearly "born to parents with no great magical capability". It’s something that clearly rubs Ace, who has a magicless father, the wrong way, and he stands up for Yuu. There are other subtle hints about this divide sprinkled throughout the lore. For example, Ruggie has a voice line which he indicates that the slums where he comes from doesn’t produce many magic users. Again, recall that magic runs in bloodlines. This could potentially allude to a past where those without magic were forced into lower income neighborhoods, which results in pockets like Ruggie’s hometown with a high population of magicless individuals living in poverty. This doesn’t appear to be a large scale issue (perhaps its only an isolated case?), but this is worth paying attention to.

This could all translate into the professional world too. Some jobs are entirely locked behind magic (ie you just cannot do them or pursue them if you don't have the magical ability for it). Some jobs DO require magic (ie medical mages like Riddle's parents, magic police force officers, technomantic inventors, etc) and probably additional training that goes with it. As a result, I'd imagine that these magic-intensive jobs pay quite a bit more. There may also be overall more job opportunities for those capable of magic, since magic is so much more efficient than doing things by hand. The magic police force in particular are described as “elite” and members are REQUIRED to be mages or else you don’t qualify. It means more retention of wealth and/or more upward mobility for the few impoverished that are able to enter magic schools. (This is, of course, not including the few and far between cases of regular people who get rich in select industries, such as Kalim’s father.) Recall too that NRC requires its students to take internships during their 4th years, many placements being with very prestigious groups and organizations such as pro-sports teams, labs, tech giants, etc. Being able to attend a prestigious school with connections grants those elite students even more opportunities than the average person.

Then think about what this means for people who fall short of these standards that these magic schools set. We actually have examples of them in book 5 of the main story: when Deuce and Epel are reconciling on the beach, a bunch of delinquents from another school come along and start checking out Deuce’s borrowed magical wheel. Through the NPCs’ exchange, we learn that one of them has enough magic to power a magical wheel, but not enough to do much else. This NPC also couldn’t keep up in class and dropped out of a magic school. He then becomes insulted when Deuce implies he is “a beginner”, so this is obviously a very sore spot for him. Riddle also has dialogue that implies students dropped out of NRC prior to his reign (and since then, no Heartslabyul students have left). Additionally, consider how magic can be used to oppress and lord power over others. Deuce himself is guilty for summoning cauldrons to crush rival delinquents in fights back in Clock Town—even if those delinquents lacked magic themselves. Similarly, Epel is implied to use magic to gain an upper hand against those that bullied him back home. This all implies a social divide between those with magic and those without, and begs of bigger questions.

What happens to the ones that don’t make it? The ones that get left behind? The ones without the magic to make it “big”? This is the root of Fellow’s anger; he’s mad at a system that cast people like him (someone with very little magic) and Gidel (a non-mage) aside. They don’t get the opportunity to make better futures for themselves. They’re looked down on by high-up institutions that basically tell them they’re not good enough.

Knowing all of this, the deck appears to be stacked against the poor and non-mages. It’s no wonder why Fellow is so mad.

THIS ACTUALLY RELATES BACK TO WHAT ROLLO SAID IN 5-2 OF GLORIOUS MASQUERADE… "When you have too little [magic], you're resentful. And when you have plenty [of magic], you're arrogant. You can never content yourselves." The NRC boys are arrogant (this is the side of the story we’ve always known due to seeing the world mainly from their perspective). They are the “haves”, and we see them constantly misusing their power by fighting each other over very petty things (even if it’s against the rules to do so). But everyone else??? They’re scrounging for the scraps. Fellow falls into that former category; he IS the guy that’s resentful because of his lack of magic and how something he cannot control has already determined where he and Gidel will stand in life no matter how hard they work. They can never hope to rise out of poverty, and there’s nothing they can do about it. That must be soul-crushing.

When Fellow praises the NRC boys in that overly exaggerated way, he’s obviously being shady and facetious—however, there is also a kernel of truth behind this behavior. Most other NPCs we’ve met have spoken about the NRC boys favorably just because of their affiliation with a prestigious school. It’s the same way people might be impressed if you walked around in an Ivy League branded hoodie or something. People automatically associate you with the school’s shiny and exclusive reputation, and thus assume you are also intelligent, talented, etc. Then, in the same way being constantly put on a pedestal like this might result in the students getting swelled heads, this only further feeds into the NRC kids’ egos. They so privileged they don’t even recognize it. And that makes Fellow fucking FUME.

Look back at Fellow's dialogue. He is constantly mentioning the prestige of the school the boys go to, or adding on extra compliments about their status and skills. He's ass-kissing to his boss, who is also wealthy or part of the upper class, then insults the boss once he hangs up. Fellow is always in a position where he HAS to be subservient to the upper class in order to make his money and get by, and he finds that entirely unfair. Imagine having to simper and placate people you absolutely despise and blame for your problems every day, people who are gorging themselves on luxuries, coasting by in life, taking everything they have for granted while you get by on pennies—that has to get frustrating.

I want to briefly mention here that, in addition to praising the NRC students to high heaven, Fellow also talks down his own skills. He cheerfully calls himself a loser and says that no matter how much he trains, he could never reach their caliber of magic. Yes, Fellow is exaggerating to get the kids to think they’ve won, but I also have to wonder if he’s parroting the same phrases he was told long ago, from people who doubted him and never thought he’d make it. If that’s the case, then I get the sense that Fellow is in a way “reclaiming” his autonomy and power by adopting those same cruel words and using them as a strength. He admits to being “weak” but is also proud of the fact that he can utilize his magic along with his natural charisma to get a leg up over others. It further fuels his new belief that going to an elite school doesn’t matter, it’s practical skills that will serve you well.

Okay, back to talking about his shitty work situation! Fellow’s employer clearly doesn’t treat him with decency. They berate him, make unreasonable demands, act impatient, etc. They are a typical depiction of a toxic workplace and boss. This can also be read as shorthand for the relation between the rich and the poor, and how that may have shaped (or worsened) Fellow’s views on others of the privileged class. He makes many assumptions about the NRC students without really getting to know them, calling them entitled brats. Why? Because these descriptors likely apply to the higher-ups Fellow has always slaved away for. This, in combination with his own experiences in being rejected from magic academia, has created a person who feels trodden on by society and by the upper echelons who run it and benefit off the system.

Fellow himself is the perfect example of someone who was failed by said system. He has dialogue stating that he was never given the chance to learn because his magic was not considered strong enough. Still, he tried to make an effort to earn that chance among to elites and to study among them. Fellow was rejected, ridiculed, and told he had “forgotten his place”, what he had been born into. There were expectations he couldn’t meet, and so Fellow was thrown away like a broken toy. He has failed not because he didn’t try, but because he was denied the opportunity to begin with. This is where is rage stems from. Fellow despises the students of those same kinds of institutions who kicked him down, students who don’t realize how fortunate they are for their educations and will likely continue to perpetuate the system.

What, then, does that means for his signature spell, which is closely tied to one’s identity? Let’s take a magnifying glass to it. As previously mentioned, the name for Fellow’s spell is written as “Rose-Tinted Dream”, but it is said out loud as “Life is Fun”. The chant for it is, “Come on to the theater” (notably said in English rather than in Japanese). Both the spell and the incantation are references to the song Honest John sings in Pinocchio, Hi- Diddle-Dee-Dee. And… well, the whole UM in of itself is one big cruel joke given his circumstances now.

I think this spell is representative of a young Fellow still full of hopes and dreams, looking forward to studying at a magic school. But then those dreams are shattered and he has to commit terrible crimes to survive day-to-day, and he seems to have given up on his dreams. He even goes so far as to protect Gidel from having the same hopes he once did, telling Yuu to not put silly ideas in his head when Gidel expressed curiosity about school. At the same time, he delights in crushing the hopes of those he deems his enemies (stating that he wanted to betray Kalim to “teach him a lesson” about how cruel the world is). Fellow knows the truth: that life isn’t fun, that it will disappoint you and will put you down. His actions are very cowardly as well—he uses tricks and deception, he runs away from his problems instead of properly addressing them, the NRC students remark on his lack of pride. Fellow has had to throw away so much to scrape by. Yet his UM symbolizes someone brimming with hope—so perhaps it’s a UM he manifested when Fellow still thought he had a chance?? And then people made fun of him for it being so weak?? Alternatively, maybe he didn’t get his UM until after his dreams were crushed so he’s looking back on those nostalgic days of blissful ignorance with rose-colored lenses (which is, again, maybe why his UM magic name is written as “Rose Tinted Dream”). A UM that is a reflection of one’s true self, yet that same identity is one that has been forced to be discarded. That’s the reason why, despite all the swindling and scamming, I don’t think Fellow’s enthusiasm for fun is a lie. That’s the one “real” part of him, but even that’s been repurposed to help him live on scraps, something innocent twisted 😭 and that’s really sad to think about…

But also??? You could argue that Fellow still has a little bit of that lost inner child and hope left in him. He tries to defend Gidel’s understanding of the world and has goals of starting his own school despite how poorly he originally spoke about these institutions. (So Fellow does appear to care about children and their futures.) He also has a childish streak despite being an adult, demonstrated by his use of cowardly tactics, taunting kids, and abruptly quitting his job to then destroy his workplace. Fellow himself states that he “just tries to live a free and fun life”, thus his pursuit of money and pleasure. This could all play into being what defines Fellow and thus his UM. It embodies a spirit of playfulness even when he has been crushed under the weight of an unglamorous life.

I’ve heard people saying that while Rollo is Idia’s dark mirror and Fellow is Ruggie’s. They have similar backstories but ultimately their fates are different and left the former two down far more sinister paths. Just as Rollo is an Idia that turned his anger outward instead of inward, Fellow is Ruggie had he not been given a chance to receive an education to elevate his social status and job prospects. Fellow and Ruggie both cling to rich, powerful benefactors/bosses and do their dirty work to get on by—a big difference is that Leona, while he does also work Ruggie to the bone, also has some conscience. Something else to consider is that while Ruggie prioritizes making a life for himself by studying and securing a stable, well-paying job, Fellow is focused moreso on the accumulation of wealth itself (as he suggests to Kalim he’ll take a bribe to let him go free and quits when there is no longer money to be gained from his boss). Both don’t really care how they get their money (even if it is by dirty means), but ultimately Ruggie’s way of making cash is more sustainable in the long run. Yet Fellow ultimately realizes the importance of school deep down despite constantly denying it when the NRC students tell him of it. Fellow is in denial because that’s the only way he can cope and justify his lifestyle. He’s confused when finally confronted with students who are his ideal of “happy and free”, even when they’re in an educational system that he views as shackling people into strict roles. The way he laments about not being able to go to school is also very reminiscent of an adult mourning a lost or unfulfilling childhood, which is quite a depressing scenario…

Fellow is the one that got the short end of the stick in life. Ruggie met Leona, and Leona technically uplifted him in his endeavors, tutored him into getting decent grades and giving him hand-me-downs and money in exchange for his services. Fellow never had that kind of support system, he was just insulted and bullied into giving up and had to find an alternative way to keep himself going 😔

Personally, I think Fellow could also be a dark mirror to Kalim, no?? They exist on opposite ends of a social spectrum. Kalim has everything and Fellow had nothing. What’s more, Kalim is still wide-eyed and trusting. He is the only one willing to try words instead of fighting him and instantly labeling him as the enemy. Meanwhile, Fellow has become bitter because of how the world has betrayed him. He wants to take that trust Kalim has and show him how cruel everything truly is. Why is he fixated on that? Why even offer in the first place if he never intended on going through with it? Why does he want to rub it in Kalim’s face in particular? Maybe it’s because Kalim seems rich and dumb, as Fellow claims, but maybe it’s because there is envy there. Sure, Fellow is upset about Kalim being a sheltered brat that faces no challenges in life, but I also feel like he’s jealous that Kalim can still afford to think this way. That he can still afford to be cheerful, that he can still be a dreamer. Fellow was alluded to be like that once—but he can’t be like that anymore, not when he has to look out for himself and Gidel.

Side note, another comparison! Recall that Kalim’s Oasis Maker is also a UM that uses a little bit of magic. However, Kalim does not know of many creative ways to use his spell, as there is no real reason to since his home country has lots of canals and irrigation. He therefore deems his UM as pretty useless. Fellow meanwhile has what most consider a weak UM but he fully utilizes it to his advantage and pairs it well with his natural charm to maximize its effects. He had to develop these skills because he was in pressing circumstances in which they would benefit him. This contributes to the “mirror” theme between the two.

Fellow and Kalim have a notable similarity as well, and this is where I feel they can connect. They are both older brothers to a child or children who are magicless. Fellow only has one, and Kalim has many—but the number here isn’t what is important. What is important is that Fellow and Kalim think the world of their siblings and want to support them. To that end, Fellow is willing to be cruel and step on others, and Kalim is all sunshine to keep their spirits up. Fellow has suffered through great poverty and insults and Kalim has survived so many attempts on his life, yet they’ve developed distinctly different approaches to the worlds that have embraced them. Kalim’s wealth could afford him protection and luxuries, so he’s able to live carefree with others tending to his needs. The same isn’t true for Fellow, and so he came out far more spiteful and resentful.

Thinking about it, it’s ultimately Kalim’s words that convince Fellow to turn on his employer. (The other boys certainly wore Fellow down and planted the seeds of doubt, but it’s Kalim that I believe fully resonates with Fellow.) He can so happily talk about why he loves school, even though he doesn’t do well at it (something I presume is also true of Fellow, since he is lacking in tons of magic). It’s not said in a particularly articulate manner, but it’s so candid in its presentation. Kalim is relating to him based on similar skillset (or lack thereof) and sharing fond memories of his time at school, reviving the hopeful “lost child” in Fellow. Kalim is probably the first wealthy person in a long time that was friendly, kind, and supportive to him. And here he is, reassuring Fellow his dreams are still possible, to not give up. That’s the final nail that allows Fellow to be “honest” with himself and his inner child. It’s what leads to that slew of irresponsible actions at the end of the event (letting people free, blasting the amusement park, driving a sinking ship, etc.).

At the end of Stage in Playful Land, we see that Fellow never really let that childlike side of him fully die. (It seems to have been concealed under a desire for money and appeasing his boss.) He shares his dream of creating his own great school to give educational opportunities to non-mages and mages with low magical reserves like Gidel and himself, a school that teaches practical life lessons. He wants to promote his own ideals and to change the system he hates from the inside out. This was never communicated to us before most likely because Fellow had renounced those ideas in favor of blind hatred and a lack of faith in the world and those that dominate it.

Fellow also acknowledges that life may be even more difficult for him and Gidel going forward, as now they lack the money for even food and no longer have jobs. Furthermore, they need to worry about their ex-employers coming after them for what they’ve done. Even so, Fellow faces it all with a smile and reassures everyone that they can transfer or visit to play… “on this shining stage called life”. He and Gidel are able to walk away with their whimsy preserved, and can still be that which they’ve always wanted to be: dreamers.

All of this is to say that Rollo was right all along about magic, he never misses—

[danger-bird]

Touchstarved Astrology Headcanons🌠

Mostly based on my own irl observations over the years, as well as my bookworm era a few years ago . Also taking into account my own impressions & feelings for the LIs, so sufficiently biased and I'm not sorry. In the words of Danny DeVito: "I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it!" /lovingly❤️

Ais

Venus in Virgo. Period. I'm dying on this hill. Fight me. No but fr, first he's a diehard animal lover and will jump into a dog fight to save a puppy. Second, he's giving "mother hen" behavior - says "watch your step", then grabs you when you trip and scolds you "told you to watch your step"(Virgo 101); sends you off with an ESCORT, jumps in fists first when the roughneck tries fighting you then hides you from the purple gang later and escorts you back himself - need I say more? Not to mention he VERY likely helped Kuras save us (his scent lingers in the clinic when MC wakes up), and helps in the clinic regularly (so a part-time nurse, most likely helped save Mhin too). Also, he was definitely watching over us even before the Seaspring (the scarred woman knew our name from somewhere, also the Unnamed can feel Ocudeus' presence outside the clinic). He craves taking care of someone - people, animals, soulless, poor unfortunate souls - you name it. And it's not for show - that's just how he is. That's how he shows love - by being attentive. All my favorite people have this placement, they're all like him in this regard - best Venus placement imo (yes, I'm a biased Venus in Taurus, BUT I'm also right, lol)

Scorpio Ascendant I mean... come on. Come on. He's LITERALLY a gang leader! Not that anybody needs convincing, but aside from the sharp, intense eyes and the fact he oozes sex appeal, this would place his Sun in 10th House- he is known publicly as a leader, his presence demands respect and attracts attention. BDE for sure. Also he's very smart, intuitive and observant. Very aware of his surroundings, can pick up on people's moods & intentions like it's nothing. I'm convinced he can literally read our mind. A smart, sexy and caring bastard, lord help me...

Kuras

Virgo Signature sign Kuras is very service-oriented, focused on helping the community and always looking for ways to assist others. Very mindful of people’s problems and what they’re in need of - and ready to provide it, no matter what it may cost him. He’s also very polite, but comes off rigid, like he’s read “Social Etiquette for Humans 101” and is following it to the letter lol. Also kinda nerdy – has his special interests, and if you let him he’ll talk about reductions and concoctions all day, every day. I don't think it's a specific placement that influences this behavior, it's the whole picture, thus - a signature sign!

Saturn Dominant This man is a Capricorn already, sure, but there’s a difference. Capricorn placements have an inner spark, a fire about them – they’re ambitious and driven while being practical and disciplined. Saturn, however, is a dry and dark, malefic - almost apocalyptic planet. It’s the last visible planet – the gatekeeper of the divine knowledge (depicted by the outer planets). It represents time, boundaries, a sense of duty and responsibility, guilt and the consequences of one's actions. A symbol of Kronos and the Devil, it represents the falling of God, the grotesque expression of divinity. Kuras has a curious mind, fascinated by science and humanity, and in light of the Kuras character lore (and his not-too-subtle mischievousness) he def has strong Uranus & Jupiter influence as well. But the Saturnian themes in particular parallel the themes and main conflict in his story most strongly.

Mercury Retrograde I had to. The way he's so precise and eloquent, but roundabout when he talks? How he's so tight-lipped and takes his sweet time before answering a question? Mercury retrograde, 100 percent. I don't make the rules.

Mhin

Moon in 1st House. How do I know? I have it. The color of printer paper (the sun hates us), emotions written all over their entire existence and impossible to hide, as well as rather intense emotional outbursts? Yes, yes and yes. Big-time tsundere? Yes. Big softy, too? Yes. We could be twins, honestly. I stg they have a crush on Ais, but unlike with Kuras they're not happy about it. I dunno, call it twin telepathy. The Christmas photo doesn't help either.

Water moon, most likely in Cancer. Not Scorpio, because their emotions fluctuate rapidly, and are overtly moody. The difference between big waves and a rip current, for example. But more so, this makes for a Sun-Moon square - the dissonance and lack of harmony between their outer persona and their inner needs and desires is clear. They have difficulty expressing their emotions, not difficulty as in showing them, but in a way where they come off wrong and get interpreted the wrong way. Very protective, like a smol soft crabbie shielding themselves with their shell. Pushes people away consciously, but hoping for someone to have enough of a "spine" to handle them and protect them, giving them a safe space to finally relax. Most of all they need love, reassurance and acceptance (my poor little meow meow💙)

Mars square Mercury That Mercury is in Aries, you can't tell me otherwise. The extra 'angry' coming from Mars in Capricorn is helping, too. But not only that, it also makes a square to their Sun AND an opposition to their Moon - a T-square, a highly difficult & stressful configuration. The Mars is in Capricorn because they like a partner with authority and attitude (Cap in 7th), and it makes for good synastry with Kuras (my cutie patooties). Also for how small they are, they're very agile and skilled with knifes (ruled by Mars).

Leander

Venus conjunct Pluto. Sexy. Magnetic. He pulls you in with the gravitational force of his tits. These people are the definition of an intense lover. Obsessive and hungry for love - and pain, equally, very big on extreme and overwhelming sensations. You have a terrible curse? Oooh, danger - gimme! You can never give them too much attention - they want it all, and they're not sharing. Possessive, wants to draw you into their little world and keep you for themselves.

Leo Ascendant, for a few reasons. I was initially thinking Libra, but after looking at everything, I decided on Leo. He has a noble presence - not surprising considering his upbringing. He's a very charismatic talker, well-spoken, lovely voice, can charm anyone into trusting him (Libra in 3rd coming through). To his credit, he takes his work seriously and comes off as a reliable boss (Cap in 6th, also Taurus in 10th). He wants to take care of people... or rather, wants to be seen as a savior. I really see him as a Gemini-Cancer cusp, but technically he's a Cancer so his sun will be in 12th house. It’s a house of self-undoing, the afterlife, illusions - ego and reality go to disintegrate here. All that connects into the life-and-death theme surrounding him and his design. The sun here becomes a fantasy, a goal rather than reality – a dream of being a leader, a hero, someone who people look up to for help and answers. He’s really giving Jesus-wannabe, with the resurrection and savior complex he has going on, as well as the over-the-top generosity. A big red crab, with a big red flag... and the tits to match (Cancer rules the booba).

Vere

Venus conjunct Midheaven, Midheaven being in Scorpio. With Sun in Scorpio. Lots of Scorpio. He’s so pretty! Pretty in an elegant, sensual, effortless yet manicured to perfection way. Apparently, the BBC (Big Bulky Collar) on him does not signal “DANGER!” to the rascals who take him for an easy target, because all they see is the approachable, delicate face and inviting voice. He knows the effect he has on people, and he’s using it to his advantage – to get a free drink, or to make people trust him juuust enough to get what he wants. He is attracted to power, powerful people, and wants power for himself – and he’s ruthless about achieving his goals, too (Scorpio in 10th); there’s a lot of gossip surrounding this man’s public image, his reputation. Venus conjunct Midheaven places a focus on art – he is an artist, appreciates art as well as creating it himself. He IS the art, or that’s the perception of him anyway.

Venus in Scorpio As Venusian as he appears, Venus is in detriment here – there’s conflicting emotions regarding his looks, and the perception of him – or rather, the expectations placed on him because of it. He'll break rules on purpose, act outrageous, play coy, use his beaty for all its worth – he’ll purposefully play the ‘bad guy’ as a form of rebellion, a defense mechanism. He can’t find comfort in a traditional relationship dynamic and has a hard time liking someone who likes them back - he’s afraid of commitment. I believe his confidence is a façade; there’s an underlying fear of betrayal and rejection, and a paranoia that any good thing that comes his way is a trick, a trap, or a lie. That he doesn’t deserve love or care, really. Buuut… if you’re like Ais and see him for all his ‘ugly’, and accept him anyway… then you’re really something💜.

1525 words. Yikes. I tried keeping the word count down.

Unsuccessful. Obviously.

If you’ve read this far, go have some water, a snack, a stretch – you deserve it! Doctor’s orders!!!

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P.S. : Ais' side profile sprite is giving me "ex-punk mom wearing a cozy cardigan", is it just me? Anyone? Are you seeing it? Am I crazy? Do I need help?...

...I'll see myself out.

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[zeroducks-2]

Honestly I love the fanon families in DC but I very much acknowledge that the vast majority of it is not canon consistent. I almost feel like they’re two different universes in the way that Earth Two is different from Earth one. To me the media that supports the family feel good stuff like Wayne family Adventures is an entirely different continuity like Else world stories. They’re the same characters just written and played with in a much different way.

Wayne Family Adventure is indeed an elseworld, like the Lego DC movies or the Arkham videogames or the White Knight saga.

"canon" when it comes to DC is not a single entity because DC means many many things. Jason having been tortured by Joker and then allying with Scarecrow is canon for the Arkhamverse, but surely it isn't for the comicverse. Eobard pretending to be a scientist named Harrison Wells is canon for the CW Flash TV show, but not for the comicverse. Selina Kyle being Carmine Falcone's daughter is canon for the Batman 2022 movie, but not for the comicverse. And same goes for whatever happens in Wayne Family Adventures - the stuff in there is canon for its own context, not for the main comics canon continuity.

Now when it comes to "fanon" that's a different thing. I've seen people act like DC fanon is some sort of monolith with specific rules but it very much is not, fanon means various takes that are so widespread that people start to act as if they were canon, even if they don't come from the source material and they were born directly from the fandom. An example is Tim Drake being a coffee addict or Stephanie Brown loving pancakes. This is stuff which is either very loosely based off of canon or with no bearings with canon whatsoever, but a good chunk of the fandom acts like they were canon facts. Some folks are aware that they're not, some aren't, most don't care.

Now, the concept of Bruce Wayne being a Tired Sitcom Dad™ with all his sidekicks living in Wayne Manor like some sort of big family is a fanon concept. A few years ago people started acting like this was canon, and new people coming in would see it and also assume it was canon (Wayne Family Adventure both comes from fanon concepts and served to fuel them, because at some point people started using WFA panels as "proof" that all that actually happened). There has been and still is a pushback of people saying no, this is non-canon, stop acting like this stuff happened in the main comics continuity, but they pretty much get drowned by the mass of people who instead scream that "good dad Bruce is the only real Bruce" and that every instance of abuse or toxic behavior you show them is out of character and should be disregarded. (It is worth noting that many of these folks have actually never read DC comics, and if you suggest they do they will call you ableist and a gatekeeper when you're lucky - when you're unlucky they'll tell you to go kill yourself)

I want to add as a footnote that there are many cases (probably most cases actually) in which fanon stuff is awesome, and makes fandom experiences more enjoyable. The whole multiverse dynamic of the Undertale fandom is a fanonical masterpiece just to name one. There is a specific issue with fanon in the DC fandom in particular, but it's absolutely not the case for all fandoms - the existence of fanon dynamics is not a bad thing per se and it's a natural consequence of big fandoms existing and evolving over time. The problem with the DC fandom is that the fanon material doesn't work WITH and ALONGSIDE the canonical elements of the story. It is rather in extreme direct contradiction with the established source material, and people flat out refuse to accept that their "sunshine and rainbows" version of things isn't the real deal.

It's worth mentioning that when it comes to the Flash family we have a bit of a different situation. The abuse there is more subtle, it's less "Bruce punched Dick in the face" and more "these people are treating Barry's depression like an inconvenience". It's less "Bruce slit Jason's throat to save the life of Jason's murderer" and more "the moment Barry isn't the perfect picture of strength and happiness his family will act like he's doing it on purpose to spite them". It's way easier to dismiss because lots of people are unable to even pick up on it, and especially when it comes to Wally and Iris, 90% of the fandom does not allow them to be complex characters with dark impulses who are very capable of hurting the people they love and who love them. Wally because he's supposed to be a shining perfect hero, and Iris... well, Iris is a woman. Unfortunately most people refuse to even begin taking into consideration the idea that a woman can be a gray character, therefore women in fandom spaces are treated like either irredeemably unlikable bitches, or perfect angels who could never do anything wrong. Iris falls into the second category for nearly every single person in the Flash Fandom I've seen so far.

But anyway, I ranted enough. As I mentioned in the comments of my previous ask, I too have written fluffy "batfamily" dynamics or made Wally act sweet and protective towards Barry, but I am able to make a difference between what I like, what I'm using for my fanfiction and what actually is canon.

[olderthannetfic]

TL;DR: multiple people can arrive at the same fanfic idea/premise in different ways, but also, getting inspired by a different fanfic is not stealing, please don't gatekeep!

I joined a new fandom (it's Resident Evil (RE), which I'm mostly mentioning for that one 'nosy' anon because hell yeah I am super nosy as well, so here you go, dropping some names!), and I quickly stumbled upon one fandom-specific plot trope that I thought was both pretty neat but also super obvious (Infected!Character fic, which, in a world with zombies and viruses that cause zombies is a very logical trope).

Anyway, there was not quite as much body horror as I thought there would be, although I'm still looking, but that's not why I'm writing to you, that's just the (un)necessary background.

There was this one fic that I opened, which in its Author's Note clearly stated that the author set this fanfiction in another author's AU, because they loved the world created by this first author. The first fanfiction author basically came up with their own Infected!Character design and backstory (including fanart), and the second fanfiction author liked it so much they were now writing this fic based on/in that AU. Obviously not quoting the AN directly, but this second author was very complimentary and explicitly mentioned where they got the idea from, gushing about the first author.

In the AN for chapter two, the second author stated that they weren't aware that that first fanfiction author didn't allow others to write about the Infected!Character AU they'd made, that that first author in fact only allowed a very limited number of people they publicly approved of to write about their AU, and nobody else was allowed to touch the Infected!Character AU. This second author was now apologising in the AN for not knowing this, plus mentioning that they changed chapter one to switch up the backstory & design to not be too close to that of the first fanficton author's AU.

That made me sad, honestly. I've seen this attitude a couple of times, where fanfiction authors are super protective of their ideas that they won't allow any other fanfiction author to write about them, and it's always struck me as a little bit hypocritical, given the whole deal of fanfiction. Especially when the original/first fanfiction author is credited and the inspired work is clearly done because the second author loved the first fanfiction so much. If it's a highly developed/specific and original AU (so not just any common trope), and you don't even mention the fanfic you were inspired by, then I find that rude, but just flat out not allowing people to even touch 'your' thing? C'mon!

This partially ties into my other gripe about a specific type of comments I occasionally get, which are along the lines of 'huh interesting idea where did you get it? bc/btw there is this other fic with the same idea (posted before you)'; idk if I got the tone right, but they never seem to be actually genuinely asking how I got the idea (and I always delight in telling them, not sarcastically, I genuinely love talking about this stuff, bc I get inspired by the most random things and I love love writing 'original'/new things!! I love tropes as much as anybody, I read a shitton of them, but i when I write I love coming up with new shit/plot! it's so fun!!). They just vanish after my explanation, even when I try to invite further conversation. It always feels to me like they're 'checking' that I didn't steal the idea, and it feels a bit lousy.

I mean in (larger) fandoms, it is not surprising at all that two or three or even more people arrive at the same idea, maybe even inspired by the same thing, same reading of canon, or not, varied experiences--and just because the works are similar doesn't mean that they were inspired by one another, but if they are, that's not a sin! I just want people to not take everything in bad faith, and also, to not 'disallow' others from getting inspired, especially when they do it in a very polite manner!

It's because of comments like these that I sometimes, very privately, worry that before I'll manage to post the long fic I spent months writing--because I'm one of those who wants the thing finished before I start posting--somebody else will have a similar idea, post their thing first, and then I'll look like I'm lying about not reading/stealing their idea, or just jumping on the bandwagon, which again, it's not a bad thing, actually.

And it shouldn't be like that! I shouldn't worry, and people should also be more willing to accept that authors can arrive at the same idea at (roughly) the same time & accept that explanation without side-eyeing the author, and that if an author is inspired by a different fanfic, that's not a sin either (in fact, for me it would be an honour).

None of this is new either, but that RE stuff reminded me of it again.

Oh man, this is way longer than I thought it would be. Apologies. I'm going to add a TLDR at the start.

Anyway, I'm going to finish writing an Infected!Catboy!Leon fic now and be very unsurprised if I find out that somebody else has had the same idea long before me (aside from one or two reader fic inserts with that topic that I stumbled upon on tumblr, bc that's just not my thing at all (reader insert, I mean)).

--

In college, friends of mine had a falling out over one of them "stealing" the other's fic idea.

Space pirates.

Not specific space pirates. Not a way of integrating the concept that was fandom-specific. No, just the general idea of space pirates in the same fandom.

Never have I facepalmed so hard.

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Lia's Writers and Blog Recommendations

Hi there lovelies! Lia here and I'd love to share the some creators that have so far been feeding me with amazing content and I'd love for you and them to know how I feel about their works so there is a bit of commentary (feel free to ignore if you're only here for recs). They are all from different fandoms and I genuinely love their works. I am not here to hate on anyone at all, simply here to bring attention to those creators I find worth reading. In fact I actually don't do negative commentary. (If I do, it's probably towards my life 😭)

This will be constantly edited if I find more creators that I loved within each fandoms. I'm sorry to all the creators I've probably bothered with this notification, if you want to be taken off this list then I will respect that and do so :))

I will respectively use the pronouns these people have provided in their bios and if they do not have it in their bios then I'll simply use they/them <3

To all tagged creators, y'all are amazing and so fucking underrated :3

CoD Creators

@frogchiro - This creator is more likely known for the absolutely scrumptious CoD hybrid AUs. MY GOD EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HER AUs ARE JUST ON ANOTHER LEVEL. Ranging from Hacker girl!Reader to Baracks Bunny!Reader. (Octo König and Coyote Graves are personal faves of mine) (Her nsfw content is the most toe curling shit I've ever read)

@ghouljams - This creator is another known for their CoD AUs, only this time you may know them as the one who wrote the Cowboy and Medieval AUs. This person and @frogchiro actually got their inboxes mixed up a few times I believe, they're both really just that good, I clearly need pointers. (I honestly don't have much words because god do I eat their content up)

@wishesforyouo (previous account being: @puff0o0) - This lovely creator makes short but sweet CoD content, you may recognize her as the person who made the popular self-aware CoD AU. Definitely my cup of tea because I really like short reads from time to time. (Miss this AU, sweetie <3)

@blingblong55 - This creator loves to make me cry, idk why. I love her though, her nsfw content is also freaking delicious I can't even.

@xo-cod - This creator, I can't even begin. I just love their writing style, it's sweet, quite short and worth the read. (We also have the same name)

@lunarw0rks - This creator makes me wanna bang my head on a table with how good their Ghost content is.

@ceilidho - This creator I can't even begin to describe how fucking delicious the Ghost content is, idgaf if it's short (IT'S PERFECT). Like my god, how'd y'all come up with content that you do. I think she captures Ghost quite well in her writing.

@mistydeyes - This creator, my fucking god. Her content is so good especially the requests she gets. The overall vibe of her writing gives a specific aesthetic that I love so much and honestly their series is worth the freaking read. Series mentioned here, the writing style is so unique but captures the characters perfectly.

@wordstome - This creator made the GREATEST FUCKING FRIENDS TO LOVERS KÖNIG FANFIC I HAVE EVER READ. It was all just so perfect, the length, the pacing and the writing style is fucking incredible. God where'd y'all get the talent to write this, here's the link to said fanfic because I do not gatekeep.

@multifandomimagin3s - This creator and the amount of Rudy content, I AM EATING IT UP. What do y'all feed yourselves to write with this amount of quality? Like their depiction of Rudy (and of course the others) is just Chef's kiss. (Also idk why but this person seems familiar since I remember someone in Wattpad a long time ago who has the same user)

@lxvvie - This creator creates the best fucking characterization I've ever read, LIKE HELLO?! Horangi is so accurate and her version of König is too. I love it, I'm eating her content up.

@rustic-guitar-notes - This creator I wanted tag this Creator so bad on this creator list because I feel like they're so underappreciated and their works are so good, LIKE IT'S ALWAYS THE UNDERAPPRECIATED WORKS THAT ARE SO GOOD THEY MAKE YOU FEEL WHAT YOU NEED AND WANT TO FEEL.

@icarustypicalfall - This creator is mutuals with almost every single one of my fave mutuals and that's how I found them. MY GOD THE RUDY AND ALEJANDRO CONTENT?? I'M EATING THAT SHIT UP.

@skeletalgoats - This creator IS SO FREAKING UNDERATED, I FOUND MYSELF BINGING THIER WORKS AND IT IS SO GOOD AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S THE BEST THING? THEY HAVE MULTIPLE WORKS ON ROACH. Istg y'all, WE NEED MORE OF ROACH.

@ghosts-cyphera - This creator, HELLO MISS MA'AM? THE PS!GHOST AU?!?! SHE GOT ME THINKING OF IT ALL THE TIME NOW LIKE WHAT DOES SHE PUT IN HER WRITING TO MAKE IT SO GOOD. First of all I'm in love with her version of Ghost because he's just so fucking caring despite the sexual themes, SHE MANAGED TO MAKE A PORNSTAR AU WITH DOMESTIC AND ROMANTIC ASPECTS WITHOUT MAKING IT FEEL SHALLOW AND SUPERFICIAL, LIKE HOW? What kind of food are y'all eating to create the content you guys feed us readers with?

@halcyone-of-the-sea - This creator has their own aesthetic and vibe when it comes to the writing. OMG I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN WITH THE WRITING STYLE, IT'S SO GOOD AND DETAILED. NOT MENTION SHE HAS QUITE A LOT OF POPULAR WORKS THAT I BINGED LIKE THERE WAS NO TOMORROW.

@azereus - This creator, I CAN'T EVEN LIKE WHY SO CRIMINALLY UNDERATED? THEIR WRITING IS LITERALLY SO GOOD AND DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE ATTENTION IT'S GETTING. NOT ONLY THAT BUT I'VE READ THEIR WORK OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

@peachesofteal - This creator, OH MY FUCKING GOD, THE WRITING IS A GODSEND. I FINISHED HER WHOLE SERIES "LIGHT ON" IN LESS THAN AN HOUR AND NOW I'M CRAVING MORE. HOLY SHIT IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. "MY GIRLS"?!?! GOT ME SO BAD, MY FUCKING HEART IS EXPLODING.

@drop-cherries - this creator brought me back on this list. You all must be saying "Lia you haven't updated this is so long, it must be some scrumptious ass work you've seen". DAMN WELL IT'S GOOD, got me in my feels and everything, needed that domestic life with Simon after so much nsfw content, I need breaks too y'all. Although I did like that one nsfw post earlier, if you saw that, no you didn't :). They are so criminally underrated too so go check them out, from one creator to another, they seem so freaking talented and I love using my platform to help you guys reach other creators too, who hardly get enough attention for something they worked hard on :>

@lostintransist - Another creator who has yet again brought me back to this list. Holy shit, if the word underrated is a creator, it's them. First of all, I NEED MORE UPDATES OF THE SEAMSTRESS AND THIS BUNNY BITES SERIES. It's written so freaking good like what. I get having a short attention span and not wanting to read long fics but this one.. this one you won't even be bored for a second. It's the type of fics you'd want to lose yourself in, I found myself finishing the bunny series in less than an hour, then left to starve for more.

TLOU Creators

@elliesbelle - This creator is top of this list for a reason, their content is the most scrumptious, drama-filled fanfics I have ever read. And yes I'm referring to their series "Nobody Compares To You". I can't even begin to say how much I love this creator, if I wasn't broke then I'd would've already tipped them. I personally think she captures Ellie's personality well. I appreciate a writer who implements shit that happen in her life into her stories. (Despite that, the amount of things happening in their love life is also some complicated shit that I love hearing updates from. Love ya belle <3) Me reading the belle's fanfic at 3am knowing damn well I have school the next day

@lovelettersfromluna - This creator is another amazing writer and holy hell are her works so good, like the length and writing style is just perfect. It's so compact yet it's not too long, add me on your ma'am taglist, please 🥺 <3

@seattlesellie - This creator, I just love her writing style especially with the knight!Ellie fic. Not to mention all the Abby content <3

@callmelola111 - This creator is another person to go to when looking for top tier Ellie fanfics, definitely worth the read on her works.

@clemellie - This creator AND WRITING TLOU SMUT IS A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN OH MY GOD, first of all, the characterization of both Ellie and Abby are so top tier then there's the ungodly toe curling smut. She is worth the fucking read every time.

@papipedroo - This creator has made a a series on Joel Miller x Reader angst AND I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO SAY HOW GOOD IT WAS. THEY GOT ME CRYING AT 7 IN THE MORNING. I also adore the writing style and pacing, I genuinely could not wait for the next part because I NEED Joel to grovel. I DON'T EVEN CRUSH ON JOEL MILLER AND THEY GOT ME HOOKED SO BAD.

[another-lost-mc]

When MC Misses Their Sibling

Featuring: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Luke, and Solomon. gn!Reader

SFW // Content: Angst, Hurt/Not Much Comfort. Feelings of isolation, depression, loneliness, poor treatment/bullying by the demon brothers, etc. Implied developing relationship with Mammon. Relationship with Luke is platonic/sibling-like. There are mentions of MC's hypothetical sibling that also misses them. The sibling mentioned isn't named/uses gender-neutral pronouns. 1.4k words.

LUCIFER

Lucifer knows about your human world family - he read your file when you were selected for the program. He understands why you don't want to be here, and why you keep demanding they send you home, but he reminds you that you were chosen.

He doesn’t tell his brothers about your family - you can tell them yourself when/if you want to.

He tries to show some leniency towards you while you adjust to living with his family in place of your own.

The longer you live in the Devildom, he sees part of himself in you when you step in to keep his brothers from causing too much trouble. 

He’s almost proud of your defiance when you stand up to him on their behalf if you think he’s being unfair or cruel.

Did the Devildom bring out this protective streak in you, or were you this protective of your sibling too?

When he thinks you've finally accepted your place, you try to dote on him when you feel more sentimental and nurturing. He’s not used to someone else caring about him that way.

Likewise, you turn to him for support or protection when you feel intimidated or overwhelmed. He tries to minimize your hardship and suffering because it’s easier to do that than trying to comfort you later when the damage is already done.

He knows deep down that his family is a poor substitute for your own. Like most of the difficult decisions he has to make for the sake of the Devildom, he tells himself that bringing you here is for the greater good.

MAMMON

Mammon frustrates you because his idea of fun often descends into recklessness or chaos. You go along with a lot of his ideas, even if you don’t want to, because you’re desperate for companionship and a sense of  belonging.

When Mammon’s schemes are too outlandish or outright dangerous for you to condone, you try to reason with him - sometimes he listens, sometimes he doesn’t.

Mammon hurts you when you first arrive. He butters you up and spends time with you as an excuse to search your room and take things he can pawn (or he just really likes something you have, and he wants it).

You catch him sometimes, or his brothers stop him, and he apologizes, but it takes a long time for you to believe his apologies are genuine. It's hard to trust him.

Things improve over time, especially after you make a pact with him - but you still wish he was less impulsive with his gambling and that he would stop trying to steal valuables from people. 

(You know he doesn't really stop doing it because you ask him to - he just gets better at hiding it so you’re not too disappointed in him).

As his feelings for you continue to grow, Mammon tries to compensate for how he treated you before. He doesn’t want to be just a friend or just a brother in your eyes, and he refuses to believe he can't change your mind.

LEVIATHAN

Your sibling likes anime and games, and you like anime and games, so you think Levi might be the easiest of the demon brothers to connect with.

Well, you were wrong.

At first he wants nothing to do with you, and he insults you.

Later on, he decides to test you. He asks oddly specific questions about Devildom game titles - ones that don't exist where you come from - and he laughs and calls you a noob when you can’t answer any of them.

Levi is not like your sibling, because your sibling isn’t a gatekeeping asshole.

You and Levi do eventually bond over other things, and when he starts to trust you, he shares his anime and game collection with with you too.

He tells himself he doesn’t feel bad for how he treated you when you first arrived, but he still makes an effort to make up for it anyway.

No matter what he does, there’s a part of you deep down that never forgets how cruel he was to you. Your sibling would never do that to you is a thought that replays in your mind when you remember Levi's mockery.

You eventually forgive him, but those are some of the painful memories you dwell on when you feel homesick.

LUKE

It’s natural to feel protective of Luke, and he gravitates to your human nature and kind disposition. 

You adopt him like he’s another sibling of your own, and you spend time with him outside of class and share your hobbies with him.

In turn, he invites you over to try a new dessert recipe, or to do homework together. He thinks he needs to keep an eye on you - he still doesn’t trust those demons you live with.

He notices that sometimes you start to call him a name he doesn’t recognize, but you catch yourself and pretend you didn't say anything. Sometimes you call him a name he doesn’t recognize and you don’t even notice.

He ignores it at first, but one day he gets curious and finally asks you who it is you’re speaking of. He lets you talk about your sibling as much or as little as you want - he doesn’t want to pry.

You feel guilty and reassure him that you like him for who he is, and you’re happy to have him as a friend. You smile and tell him your sibling would probably like him, too.

Later, you both pretend your eyes aren’t red and watery from crying. Luke declares you should help him make cookies, and he hopes the distraction helps you feel better.

When you leave for the evening, Luke is angry and Simeon can’t figure out why he's so upset. All Luke tells him is that those demons should be ashamed of themselves for what they put you through.

He becomes even more protective of you after that.

SOLOMON

Solomon is warned early on by Lucifer and Barbatos that due to security reasons, you’re not allowed contact with the human world, especially your friends and family.

He doesn’t understand why they bother telling him that, until you start asking him to try and contact your family for you.

At first he doesn't really care, but the more you try to bargain with him to do this for you, your desperation becomes unbearable. 

You approach him one day with an envelope and an address and won't take no for an answer. 

It’s just a birthday card for someone, I swear there’s nothing written inside that would jeopardize the Devildom, you can even read it if you want to. Please—?

He doesn’t make any promises (plausible deniability and all), but he does as you ask and visits the address you give him that same day.

It’s late afternoon when he arrives in front of an ordinary looking house, and he hears quiet conversation around the back. It’s easy enough to hide his presence and eavesdrop on whoever is in the backyard - curiosity gets the better of him.

Someone your age - or perhaps a bit younger - sits on the patio with an older couple. They have your smile, and their cheeks dimple the same way yours do. He realizes this is your sibling and parents.

There’s a small birthday cake on the table but the mood feels somber.

Your family falls into uncomfortable silences between random, trivial conversations. Your sibling glances at the empty chair next to them.

“Hey, where do you think…? Nevermind.”

Your very existence is something that they can’t even talk about, and their expressions are equally sorrowful and frustrated.

Solomon recalls seeing the same heartbroken expression on your face during all those times you complained to him about living in the Devildom.

Was this the best solution that Diavolo could come up with when they dragged you into the exchange program?

When Solomon leaves the envelope in the mailbox for your sibling to find, he feels like an accomplice to cruelty and wonders if there’s more he can do to help you.

Read more: Obey Me! Masterlist

[nekupilled]

Music HC’s for the seven

- I’m gonna start with Jason, who would LOVE britpop (even if it’s not even pop? It’s rock idk what they we on) he would like listening to Pulp and Blur specifically, got in an argument with Percy when he opened some britpop to him and Percy said that Oasis sounded better. Percy got him the Blur: The Best Of CD, but didn’t manage to give it to him.

- Secondly, Annabeth. I think she would know most rock music (thanks to Thalia and Percy) but would wonder more towards the British side. Can see her listening to the Smiths, the Beatles, Radiohead, REM and some recent Arctic Monkeys that Piper made her listen to.

- Piper. I think she’d have the Indie Girl starter package but would listen to anything. Actual diva. Iconic in so levels. Mainly some Gorlillaz, Mitski, Hozier, Arctic Monkeys, (Percy sometimes joins in on their earlier albums, but says that the hanging out in the bar while smoking cigs in the bathroom vibe isn’t really for him) .

- Percy. God he’d be so annoying about it. ROCK MUSIC SNOB. This guy is the single most pretentious gatekeeper you’ve seen. Nicest guy you’ll ever meet suddenly gets so ruthless in mere seconds. Probably walks up to people with band tees to ask them to name three albums. Calls people fake fans, had a man crush on Julian Casablancas ( Annabeth questions that sometimes, he was too earnest while he said that he does has a chance when he got divorced in 2020.) Anyway, Nirvana, (he accidentally called Magnus ‘Kurt Kobain on Annabeth’s side’ once) the Strokes, The white Stripes, Led Zeppelin.,,

- Percy didn’t really mention something about his love for music until him and Annabeth started dating, and was REALLY nervous about it, opening songs and then scrambling to open something else, something better, Annabeth once recommended that he should hang out with the Apollo cabin more, but he demanded that no one aside from her should know this, Annabeth later on learns that Gabe made fun of the music he listened to, and was scared to ramble about it. He taps his fingers to a desk in the rhythms of the songs he likes to calm himself down in class.

- Piper had an AM tumblr 2014 phase, thought he had a crush on Alex Turner, turns out it was on Alexa Chung. She bought Annabeth posters and pins for her birthday, and persists on that Percy should learn to do guyliner so he looks more ‘aesthetic’, Percy doesn’t like it, but goes anyway to spend time with Piper.

[thesagedahlia]

HOLLYWEIRD READINGS PRESENTS: SEAN ‘DIDDY’ COMBS CHART ANALYSIS * PART 1*

*TW: mentions of ab*se, violence, r*pe, and s*xual assault*

INTRODUCTION

Sean Combs has been well known as the hip hop mogul of Bad Boy Records since the 90’s, as well as his affiliations with the likes of Notorious B.I.G. and Lil Kim to name a couple of the many artists to come out of that era of hip hop, but if you were alive and aware of the 90’s you wouldn’t be shocked to know that the name ‘Diddy’ was oftentimes entangled into controversial situations and conspiracies. It would even be safe to say that there’s a conspiracy that Diddy, as a gatekeeper of the hip hop community, was in fact a very controlling, domineering & aggressive kind of person. In true Scorpio fashion, a lot of his dealings have been kept under the radar and were never pressed upon, even suppressed from the media as much as possible. UNTIL RECENTLY, not only has Diddy been paying out his former signees from the label (after not paying them properly in the first place), but Cassie Ventura also brought up a civil lawsuit against Diddy which was settled within 24 hours. Cassie was another signee to Diddy’s label, as well as his long-time ‘girlfriend’ of 10 years. They separated around 2019 which was coincidently when her contract under him finally dissolved. Since then, she’s been happily married with two children, but if you are familiar with the reading I did on Cassie some time ago, Diddy was coming up a lot as trying to get in contact with her or keeping tabs on her through different means. Though I never directly focused on any abuse of any kind, there felt to be a very dark presence around their connection, and a lot of it was operated under Diddy’s control. Which is why Diddy still to this day has such a profound effect on Cassie, which has helped her develop an addiction problem among other psychological trauma. Before I even pick apart their synastry, I’m going to pick apart Diddy’s natal chart to the best of my abilities, for the ones in the back-left that don’t believe he is capable if the things outlined in the lawsuit. What tipped me off was Diddy’s acceptance speech for his BET Lifetime Achievement Award received around June of 2023, with the way he mentioned Cassie and the words he chose. Considering what I picked up in my reading before, I wouldn’t be surprised if Cassie felt highly triggered and threatened by his speech once she caught wind of what was said. So honestly the lawsuit came as a shock, not because I wasn’t privy to such or I didn’t see it coming, but only because I didn’t expect her to stand up to him so soon after separating (it’s been roughly 3-4 years). To mention briefly, Cassie is experiencing a Lunar Nodal return (the North/South node lining back up in the position they were in at the time of her birth) which is ironically the Aries North/Libra South axis, clearly spelling out how it was in this lifetime that she was to break the mode of ‘people-pleasing’ and dependency and being inclined to stick up for oneself, especially in romantic relationships (South Node in Libra crossing her Venus placement). Cassie is an extremely strong person for asserting her boundaries in this way and now that she has exposed him and finally can work toward her healing, she was also able to open the floodgate of something far beyond her, which I’m assuming that’s also what she wanted. The past month in me conducting this report, more lawsuits of the sexual nature are starting to surface, which only confirms that this is the beginning of an unraveling within Diddy’s proverbial closet, in which his skeletons pile up.

There’s no question of Sean’s impact & influence within the industry and that impact is reflected in his chart, however this specific report will be focusing in on relevant patterns and configurations within the chart that reflect certain conspiracies and allegations:

* DISCLAIMER: FOR EDUCATIONAL/ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY; THIS IS AN ASTROLOGICAL CASE STUDY THROUGH NATAL/SYNASTRY CHARTS, ANY ASTORLOGICAL CONFIGURATIONS THAT I MEANTION IN THIS READING THAT ARE RELATIVE TO THE READER ARE NOT PRONE TO THE ANALYSIS THAT I CONCLUDE WITHIN THIS READING, THEY ARE MANIFESTATIONS OF THE ENERGY PRESENT WITHIN A SPECIFIC CHART COMPARED TO THE PUBLIC INFORMATION REGARDING THE INDIVIDUAL*

*This will be citing the subject’s most relevant traits regarding recent news through their energy signatures*

MARS IN CAPRICORN

As a lot of people may be aware of, Sean is a person who demands respect for his reputation in the industry. Being a Capricorn Mars native, I can see this being one of the main culprits that contribute to his control issues. Mars in Capricorn natives are driven by their ambition and determination to achieve a certain status. These natives, from a shadow perspective, can be very materialistic people and can produce someone who uses their money, power and respect (see what I did there? See the irony?) to assert authority onto those who he would consider ‘weaker’ or less established. This can even create someone who ‘bullies’ people because of the status they have. Capricorn is a calculated sign as well as entrepreneurial, so he has an affinity to throw his money around to assert himself and get what he wants. Mars is also making a square to his Mercury in Scorpio, which can detail more of a defined obsession for power and control (more on this below). Mars also squaring Jupiter can expand his quest for greed and can amount to an abundance of energy that needs a proper outlet or can succumb to his impulses and aggression. His Jupiter in Libra is already making a tightly wound conjunction to Venus that can reflect how his abundance can be defined by the business he makes and those around him, which will need a further explanation considering the surrounding and angling planets involved, but this can all tie into his tactics to control the business that he does and for him to be the one to mostly benefit from it. Lastly, and more importantly, the square Mars is making to Venus can be particularly subject his personal and intimate relationship to aggression, violence and other disruptive impulses (more on this below).

MARS IN CAPRICORN SQUARE SATURN IN TAURUS

On a surface level, the energy of this aspect can make for someone who is a hard and consistent worker and can work on things to exhaustion. From a psychological standpoint this specific square can be more violent, domineering energy within this native. Sean’s assertiveness can be in conflict with authority figures in his (early) life, which can in turn create an inflated & ego-driven sense of authority within himself when achieving the power that he has been accustomed to for so long. This can also point to his tendencies to use violence and force to solve his problems or to keep people ‘in line’. There is a lot of knowing behind the scenes of exactly what Sean is capable of in the industry, so there is a running joke that he can make people do what he wants or else they will ‘disappear’, which other parts of his chart can point to that theory as well (refer to ‘significant patterns, cradle 1’). This is also a great point of Sean’s inclination to rebel at any given opportunity, and a lot of his motive has to do with power and control, which is a running theme in his chart. This square is connected in a T-square (1) with Mercury, which can be an indication of having a tight-knit network of people who have a lot of power and prestige. Sean has a lot of wealthy ‘friends’ that he does business with, and these are people who were regulars at his hosted gatherings, both public and private. This square is a very selfish energy, not willing to go out of his way for people unless there is something in it for him, especially with Saturn having power over Mars (Mars in Capricorn). This can make Sean a very callous, unforgiving person who has more interest in dominating others, and he doesn’t stop to put other people into consideration. He can also be prone to frustrations, so it’s likely he’s not the most easy-going person. Punishments are very likely with this square, as he is inclined to make people work beyond their means to be rewarded as he sees fit, or he may look to restrict those who aren’t as cooperative. I also wouldn’t be surprised if Sean was into a lot of binding (BDSM) and violent kind of kinks (like rape or torture), especially with Pluto making a trine to Mars. Moreover, Capricorn Mars natives can have an insatiable appetite for sex, and in simpler terms can make for someone with prominent anger issues.

MOON-SOUTH NODE CONJUNCTION IN VIRGO

This conjunction between the Moon and South Node is significant because it represents how comfortable he is in his karmic and negative emotional patterns, and how easy it is for him to project that onto other people. Besides ones’ habitual nature and raw emotion, the Moon placement can also be the direct link to one’s mother as well as other feminine/maternal figures in a person’s chart. In the case of the mother, I discovered upon research that Sean’s mother was a model/escort (allegedly being supported by the Virgo Moon, Virgo ruling service, while modeling is ruled by Virgo’s opposite sign, Pisces (North Node)) who exuded the party-girl aesthetic, which can directly point to this Moon to South Node influence by his mother making that kind of lifestyle the ‘norm’ for him growing up, as the South Node represents our past lives or karmic lessons that we come into this lifetime needing to learn/move away from in one sense, it can also come up in a person’s chart as generational patterns that one has inherited into this life, or have been conditioned to upon entrance into this consciousness. There is also an allegation of his mother being predatory, and this is supported with the Virgo Moon representing ‘grooming’ from a feminine figure (the Moon), or the mother. More to this theory, there is a specific video where Sean professed to going to (strip) clubs with his mother and they are also seen kissing each other on the lips, which could be normal for some parent-child relationships (when the child is STILL a child), but another takes puts fuel to allegations that Sean was also preyed upon or groomed in his adolescence. Additionally, Virgo is the sign of service, work, daily routine, health/diet and anything of the like, it also represents ‘training’. As you know, Sean is known for the way he likes to be in control and how critical he is, so this is very on brand for a Virgo Moon native. When we talk about how he treated his signees on a public scale, Sean tended to be a critical, micromanaging force who controlled their image, the way they sounded, and how he wanted them to work for him. In a lot of cases this would entail how they ate as well, especially women since the Moon governs women. He also liked certain things within his order, which he could almost be obsessive about it. This doesn’t only apply to the ones who sign to his label or work with him generally, but also the employees that work for Sean on a routine basis, such as security, fitness trainers (another Virgo trait), cooks, maids etc. What I can deduce with this placement, Sean is particular about things being of a certain order when it comes to his employees and women in his life, and this can come from a specific karmic pattern that he was conditioned to in his past (The Moon can also represent one’s upbringing), namely reflecting a specific insecurity that he grew up dealing with. He may have lived in some kind of instability within himself, to which he found (albeit unhealthy) coping mechanisms for. He likely holds onto negative emotions until they build up within him to explode, which can likely be a person who is known to lose his patience. This is a wide orb so the severity of its effects may be weakened, but it is still prominent in the native so long as he clings to the comfort zone. Lastly, as a controversial opinion, the sign of Virgo is the ‘virgin’, or the maiden. Being that this sign represents something of purity and youth, as well as young women, this could pinpoint a tendency to attraction to ‘younger’ women. The lower frequencies of Virgo can take ‘training’ to a darker connotation, into the scope of ‘grooming’ as previously mentioned.

LILITH IN CANCER

The Lilith placement, in a man’s chart, represents the kind of woman he desires, yet fears. This is the same kind of woman that can truly overpower (or destroy) him. Lilith also represents defiance, sovereignty, darker emotions, the shadow side, and the wounded feminine energy or when we know we’re being manipulated, abused, or disrespected. In Sean’s case, not only does this denote a disconnect with his mother or females in his family in the traditional sense, but his Lilith placed in Cancer also says a lot about how he regards nurturing, soft and naturally empathic women. In his mind, this type of woman is ‘weak’, which can be traced back to the women he was generally able to overpower and manipulate (i.e. Cassie). This placement is another major indicator of the mother being somewhat of a temptress or taking on the ‘dark feminine’ archetype. The energy of Lilith in Cancer completely rejects traditional feminine energy and deems it to be something to dominate within oneself and others. With the afflictions to this placement, there is even more of an indication that he carries this psychology into his relationships and interaction with other women. With this placement I could go as far as saying that Sean has a complete disdain or hatred for women on a subconscious level and can manifest as a desire to have control on women that appear weaker to him. The sextile made to Pluto can tell me of just how explosive and violent he can be toward women in attempt to control/dominate, even deadly consequences are noted here. Lilith forming an opposition to Mars in extreme cases can even add forced violence toward women, even rape considering both Mars and Lilith govern over raw sexuality (Lilith being the feminine depiction of this). There is also a square Lilith is forming to Venus, which is also forming its own square to Mars (more on this Mars-Venus Square/T-square below). Venus’ contribution to Lilith in this instance can represent a more prominent force within his connections, not only referring to his intimate and personal relationships, but his business and industry relationships are subjected to this power-hungry dynamic where he is more strategic of how he gets over and manipulates others into his favor, Venus being good at making things look a particular way. This placement is an instinct within Sean to sense out those who are more capable of being manipulated, whether they are naïve and unassuming or not. Manipulations through things such as contracts, NDAs, PR, etc. as this is reinforced his Venus is placed in Libra (Libra represents written contracts and public image).

CHIRON IN ARIES

Chiron as Sean’s hidden psychological wounding (fears and insecurities) can revolve around his own, or the energy of, masculinity. As previously mentioned with his Lilith in Cancer placement, Sean has a borderline disrespect towards those he considers weaker, or ‘feminine’, so it would only make sense if that were to stem from toxic/wounded masculinity that he may have been conditioned to growing up. This can make for a person who overcompensates for his own assertiveness, pushing the barrier to being overtly violent, abusive, and domineering. This can also point to a specific ‘wound’ surrounding his masculinity that can have everything to do with sexuality with Mars making a sextile to this placement. This aspect can also give support to someone with a ruthless ambition, as Mars’ energy is doubled and can be malefic and disruptive in nature (such as Chiron). Sean could have been exposed to a violent or hyper-masculine world growing up and can be conditioned to the principles of ‘survival mindset’ and war mentality. The history with Sean’s father can put this theory into perspective, if we factor in that he was alleged to be a drug-dealer who died by gun violence (also a Mars/Aries signature). This can lead to his affinity toward solving problems with violence, especially with Pluto making an opposition these can have fatal outcomes. This is a particularly deadly energy that can bring about hostile situations.

NEPTUNE IN SCORPIO

Neptune is a generational planet that can represent a pattern in our chart that can be heavily veiled and hidden from others and even ourselves, and can be referred to as the collective consciousness. It can also refer to our psychic inclinations and our spiritual understandings. The era for Neptune transiting the sign of Scorpio was between the years 1956 to 1970, and this would cite Sean’s birth year to be 1969, making Neptune 27 degrees through the sign. This was the period infamously known for drugs, sex, rock n’ roll, and even mysticism, which were all things that gave way to sexual liberation, experimenting with substances, and the emergence of religious cults. People born in this specific time where Neptune was traveling through Scorpio can have more of a soul recognition to these influences which can serve as a subconscious relevance to the native. Sean Combs is no exception, as I would consider him to be hiding a sexual liberation that may seem unusual or shocking to others. This is also an indication of what other intuitives/astrologers have been picking up about him forever now; that he is well aware of manifestation and alchemy (Moon/Pluto in Virgo supports this as well). Sean is likely aware of and have personal interests in cults and ritualism, so this can give merit to idea that Sean hosts sex parties/rituals. This is an intense, mysterious and possessive nature that is hidden beneath Sean’s surface, and he has likely had an upbringing that has desensitized him to all kinds of destruction, danger, and chaos. This Neptune is ruled by Pluto (and Mars traditionally) and is also making a sextile between the two planets (can be found in Cradle 1 and 2). This can bring opportunities for manifestation and manipulating energy for one’s own desires. With Chiron trine to his Neptune as well, he can be someone to suppress whatever insecurities he may have through escapism tactics, such as substance abuse, giving way to the theory of Sean’s own self-destructive tendencies.

SUN IN SCORPIO CONJOINED TO MERCURY IN SCORPIO, BOTH OPPOSITE SATURN IN TAURUS:

Here is a configuration that plays a part closely with one expression conjoining to one’s mental compatibility. Scorpio can represent cruelty when operating on lower frequencies, which in this case can also take on a controlling & possessive connotation. This can also create a person that can prioritize enforcing their will onto people for the sake of gaining powerful status. Add that with a double opposition that Saturn is making to his Sun-Mercury conjunction, and you have a person who may have a restrictive and dictatorial quality to the way that they manage contractual business with others. There is an energy of a dictator or an authoritarian to other people, even a cult leader (Taurus Saturn), and being able to punish those who go against them (Taurus/Scorpio axis governs loyalty/betrayal). Another take with the Taurus Saturn, this can be someone who expected loyalty from his people in the same capacity as a cult, especially those who worked under him for extended periods of time. Saturn is ‘the punisher’, so that would suggest the claims of aggressive intimidation against certain people, even sexual abuse with Scorpio involved (citing ‘violent’ kinks). On the spectrum of sexual assault, this is a point where I believe that the nature of this configuration would impulse a native to sexually ‘punish’ their victims, which can also include a forceful connotation when the victim refuses to accommodate the native in question. Scorpio placements operating at low octaves can be vampiric to those they encounter, and that opposition to Saturn can indicate selfish tendencies that he may be more willing to use the people around him to benefit him and his status. There is also a presence here of legal situations involving the finances of other people & the contracts that they sign with Sean. A take-over spirit that sucks everyone dry is also what I would describe it as. This configuration also supports someone who is capable of limiting fame and notoriety from his own artists if they felt it necessary, placing that same spotlight onto himself. This configuration ALONE backs up a lot of claims regarding anyone feeling cheated by Diddy financially, having an entire catalog restricted from the artist, and the overall control of said artist through contractual obligations. As mentioned previously, some information in regard to Sean’s late father and the lifestyle he led, which can also be a manifestation of this configuration in his chart.

VENUS-JUPITER CONJUNCTION IN LIBRA

Getting to a contradiction within his chart, this aspect can speak to the kind and benevolent nature that he may have been trying to channel, as noted by his most recent name change to “Diddy ‘Love’ Combs”, especially from a spiritual/religious standpoint involving Jupiter. Sean has been cited lately as changing his image in the way of creating what attempts to be a ‘peace-loving’, family-oriented aura from the native. But this placement does a lot more harm than good even involving the two aforementioned benefic planets. This conjunction expresses his generous nature, especially to the women he was publicly and privately in a relationship with. Not to mention that Jupiter also governs publishing, so Sean being in control of the publishing and producing credits at the label can be seen with this aspect. This is a major indicator of being able to benefit from his own generosity, in the sense that he expects to be compensated for what he has given his artists or his relationships. Libra is about balance, symmetry, and justice and when it comes to this conjunction, Sean’s extravagance came with the expectation to continually do right by him to some degree, as there is a reciprocity that comes with the energy of Libra, this configuration in a person’s chart, on the flip side, can make the native inclined toward greed and can even make one prone to addictions. Mars squaring Venus within this conjunction creates a motivating factor to merge his money and power, to essentially have a certain type of control in the industry. He also uses this control to steam-roll his relationships into being loyal to a fault. He may also indulge the most into his addictions/greed on a social level, which can be a direct link to parties he would throw since the 90’s, the same parties that are now being implicated as possible ‘sex rituals’ or sex trafficking social events (depending on what you believe personally). The Venus to Mars square can very well include the raw, sexual nature of the parties Sean would host or be a part of himself. Sean’s extravagant nature is not something that is unheard of to people who are aware of him generally, but behind industry walls this can actually point to the inflation of his ego. Sean is also someone who likely has very good lawyers and legal professionals working for him with this aspect, and he is not one to shy away from legally binding agreements in his business, i.e. NDAs.

MERCURY IN SCORPIO SQUARE MARS IN CAPRICRON

When you have the planet of communication squaring the planet of will, this can make for a verbally forceful and disregarding native. Sean is not really a stranger to being an aggressive communicator with a sharp tongue, but this is another indication of him operating on a short fuse. This can be due to the overstimulation that’s interpreted with this aspect, and the increase in impulsivity. Sean is likely a very intimidating communicator, and he doesn’t have any impulse control. A lot of his motives are once again linked with the obsession for power and control over others through his powerful connections and status. Sean also has a violent nature that he may be more inclined to keep hidden, but with Mars squaring Venus this would make these themes show up more in his social or romantic relationships (as a Libra Venus is skilled in making public perception of the native appear polished and balanced, with Libra ruling PR). There can even be sexual kinks that are deemed deviant and would likely be shunned upon with this square happening between the signs of Scorpio and Capricorn (‘violent’ kinks are cited here). This can also make Sean a determined individual with an insatiable need to fulfill his desires, and those desires can only be met with unwavering hostility and force. This can pertain to professional, personal, and even sexual desires when it comes to Sean. There is an inclination toward arrogance and power trips toward those he employs, and verbal abuse is the main weapon he uses unto others. This also reinforces him being accustomed to innate control over others and his mode of operation relying heavily on his connections to the industry (Mars in Capricorn).

MARS IN CAPRICORN SQUARE VENUS IN LIBRA

Here we have a native that is likely to be a forceful person within his interpersonal or romantic relationships and can attract those who are easily shaped and molded (Venus in Libra) or the native can project this motive onto those he is involved with. This aspect is associated with anger issues, a lack of self-control, and intense love-hate dynamics within intimate relationships. As this can be a reflex in establishing control, it is likely Sean is as domineering as everyone may portray him to be, especially those who have seen the different side of the coin. It is also likely that Sean can have a PR team behind him that can paint a less egregious picture in regard to his personal life, though behind the scenes it’s worse than what anyone could have imagined. This can also attract abusive dynamics, especially with any other malefic influences touching this, which can be cited by Mars’ opposition to Lilith in Cancer also squaring Venus (see T-square 2). Sean is inclined to dominate those who he is intimately, personally or professionally involved with. I could even go as far as to say that he has a domination kink (if I haven’t mentioned this speculation already) or a punishment kink (involving Saturn ruling the Mars placement). This can also cite difficulties in court proceedings against Sean as his Libra Venus would suggest a functioning legal team and producing iron-clad NDAs and contractual bindings in his business dealings. Also making note that Cassie is a native to this same Venus to Mars square, which the significance of this is likely to show up in the pair’s synastry.

SIGNIFICANT PATTERNS

T-SQUARE 1

Taurus Saturn opposite Scorpio Mercury, Square Capricorn Mars: This is the more general source of his anger and temper towards other people, and it involves previously mentioned aspects. For this T-Square, he has his apex planet (or the focal planet where we see the problem) as Mars, which has been the running theme, if not the dominant energy in the native’s chart. The point of tension with this T-square can point back to his aggression surrounding the way he dominates and manipulates control. Saturn opposite Mercury can suggest frustration from an inability to relate to others personally due to a lack in communication skills, which could have been a theme for him from a young age. Sean could have also been subjected to seeing different ways of being overpowered by authority in his upbringing or early career, which can create initial opposition with authority that he’d aspire to overcome, and a desire to achieve the same ‘untouchable’ status that he had been privy to, even through aggressive and violent means. Sean may have grown up to inspire control over those weaker than him, in comparison to what he may have been subjected to growing up. The ruler of the sign Mars is in (Saturn) being in the sign of Taurus can bring a direct importance and drive to achieve power through his material/financial status. He is a very technical person, and very strict, especially if it comes to criticizing or training people (which has come up before in other sections). As an employer, this can make Sean a very harsh person who may place extreme demands on the people under him, even if they were simply apprentices. Sean has a significant pattern of having a dominating presence over the people in his life, whether they work for him, are friends with him, or within romantic and intimate relationships. This is the perfect configuration for “aggressive manipulation”, which Sean seems to always be tied to. He is also capable of bringing sorts of ‘punishment’ onto those who don’t abide by his expectations. This can also be in lesser extremes, such as being harsh with his training/teaching and aggressive dictation. In recent history, there have been classic shows that essentially depict this and what immediately comes to mind is ‘Making the Band’. Incidents such as the ‘Cheesecake’ incident (and things such as hazing) are great manipulation tactics where Sean can construct the belief of one’s own authority and how he was projecting that onto his signees. This was how he was able to achieve the authoritative status that he did as a mogul/gatekeeper in the industry, reinforced with his Capricorn Mars at the 29th (Leo) degree. This is also a T-square that can pinpoint his ability to network through the industry and being in rooms with different ‘important’ people and allowing himself a roster of artists/fellow associates to catapult himself ahead as a music executive. In a more technical context, this is a T-square that also points to his ‘shady’ business (one off, not only). Mercury being in the sign of Scorpio (and adversely having Pluto in the sign of Virgo) opposite Saturn in the sign of Taurus can signify Diddy’s affinity toward his iron-clad contracts, NDAs, and underhanded payouts (as mentioned in previous sections). Adding that the sign ruled by Saturn is also his Mars placement, Saturn’s energy is prominent within this T-square (Saturn/Capricorn = binding contracts, corporate business). In a sense, with Mercury in Scorpio (Scorpio = joint investments, joint accounts, ‘other people’s money’), Sean was able to manipulate those who he’s signed into going into contractual business with him, and the Mercury-Saturn opposition can translate into bad contract dealings.

T-SQUARE 2

Capricorn Mars opposite Cancer Lilith, Square Libra Venus: This specific T-square can suggest his dynamic that he has towards women. As previously mentioned, Lilith in Cancer in a man’s chart can suggest a distain or blatant lack of respect for the feminine quality and finding women to be a weaker species. Add in the opposite angle happening with Mars and you have someone who likes to overpower the women in his life. The apex planet of this T-square is Venus in Libra, which is squaring his Cancer Lilith and his Capricorn Mars. The focus here is the essential ‘domination’ over his sexual/intimate and even business relationships, and the aggression that he naturally has towards women, and this can go especially for the women he has signed in the past. The ruling planet of the Lilith placement is the Moon, which is placed in the sign of Virgo, which governs routine, work, and health/diet. A lot of Sean’s criticism towards women can have a lot to do with how they look, their diet, and how they take care of themselves. This can absolutely correlate to the women he dates as well as for the women he decides to sign and work with. As previously mentioned, Virgo is the sign of the teacher/trainer, and this can represent why the Lilith in Cancer placement is so obsessive with overpowering women in a way of dictating and critiquing them. The women in his life have to abide by a certain standard, and in a lot of ways can make him prejudice to certain types of women and want to ‘fix’ or ‘change’ them to what he finds appealing. If they don’t fall in line the way he wants to (Venus in Libra), there is a violent streak that can come out in him (Mars opposite Lilith).

CRADLE 1

Pluto Chiron Opposition (Pluto in Virgo, Chiron in Aries), Virgo Pluto sextile Scorpio Neptune, Virgo Pluto trine Capricorn Mars, Aries Chiron sextile Capricorn Mars, Aries Chiron trine Scorpio Neptune, and Capricorn Mars sextile Scorpio Neptune: This can pinpoint to a lot of rage that is inspired by insecurities and deep seeded psychological wounds (Pluto opposite Chiron) that don’t have a healthy exit point. On one hand you have a Chiron in Aries, which can indicate someone who has insecurities surrounding the expression of their masculinity, or may have some tendencies toward toxic masculinity, narcissism, and misogyny. On the other hand, his Pluto in Virgo can point to obsessive compulsive behaviors that can reach extremes about perfecting a specific standard, which may lean more toward internalized powerlessness and insecurity. This opposition can result in him overcompensating for these wounds/insecurities, projecting them onto others, and can manifest in him seeking to dominate others with that Pluto influence. The supporting aspects that create this cradle (Mars, Neptune) speak to the talent/opportunities that are connected to his goal-oriented determination and business-like ambition (Capricorn Mars) and his artistic abilities with musical vibrations (Scorpio Neptune). This cradle can suggest someone who is able to use their power and influence in the music industry to hide from their psychological wounds and using it as a crutch or suit of armor that is meant to keep him from being accountable for the way he may strong-arm other people to get to his desired status. I can also see this being a main source of his believing he was invincible from receiving any certain consequences. This can also be a source of him using his power to engage in sexual encounters of his dominating desires, and having a forceful and aggressive undertone that can easily become threatening. Another interesting thing about the Mars sextile Neptune included in this cradle, which may indicate that he would have desires to film/take pictures of these encounters, which has been alleged of him being in possession of photographic evidence of some encounters from his own partners or of different women in different states. Leverage that to him, can be interpreted as a way for him to brag or assert domination with these women by sending these intimate pictures/videos out to his mutuals (rapper 50 Cent was cited as receiving such intimate photos of Cassie from Sean back in 2010). It’s likely that Sean may be someone who wants to be able to act out and film his sexual fantasies (Scorpio Neptune) and most of them may be where he’s dominating his partner, possibly in violent ways with Mars in a trine to Pluto. A lot of his reputation, both known and unknown, are tied up with this specific astrological pattern, but the Pluto Chiron opposition alone can be the indicator of a rapist/rape victim, which the trine/sextiles to Mars and Neptune can support this. It is also alleged that he had enough power to make people ‘disappear’ and this cradle supports the manifestation of that, especially with Mars’ trine to Pluto and its sextile to Neptune. This specific configuration supports any kind of claims or allegations linked to his violent nature being supported or even helped through the power or status that he has maintained in the industry, and him using violence to stay feared (because to Sean, Fear=Power; Mars trine Pluto).

CRADLE 2

Mars Lilith Opposition (Capricorn Mars, Cancer Lilith), Capricorn Mars sextile Scorpio Neptune, Capricorn Mars trine Virgo Pluto, Cancer Lilith sextile Virgo Pluto, Cancer Lilith trine Scorpio Neptune, and Scorpio Neptune sextile Virgo Pluto: This cradle has the same Mars Pluto trine, which encompasses that ability to acquire power and protection within the industry (involving Neptune) previously mentioned, but the focus of the tension is shifted to the complete rejection of feminine energy. Mars in Capricorn opposite Lilith in Cancer can create a self-preserving, venomous individual whose passions/ambitions are being channeled into episodes of rebellion, domination and control. This is a person who is vengeful, sneaky and domineering when it comes to his sexual and intimate relationships and can find himself projecting that back on to the women he engages with. Lilith in Cancer can directly relate to a desire to dominate women (if afflicted) especially to empower oneself, but with it opposite to Mars in Capricorn this can stem from some kind of hatred or coldness toward women that can also come off as complete disrespect. The Lilith trine Neptune in Scorpio can note an inclination to sex rituals, or spiritual (occult) explorations through sexual means in a way to manifest and manipulate energy, and a lot of women in his past have been participants and may even been scouted out for such (Mars sextile Neptune). This is also supportive of engaging in sex trafficking and being able to fly under the radar (Neptune trine Chiron, Lilith, sextile Mars). A lot of Sean’s sexual lifestyle and nature were always something people illuded to being of a dark nature, or at the very least, unconventional. It is possible Sean can have a sexual kink of dominating women in violent ways (as mentioned as being a running theme), with Mars and Pluto in a trine. Lilith being in Cancer can indicate his overall shadow side, or hidden nature, being projected onto women. This can especially be dangerous with Lilith opposite a violent planet, such as Mars, and in a sign like Capricorn he could also be a person who is punishing, domineering or restrictive of them. This could be a man who is not only sexually violent toward women, but also physically aggressive and violent with them as well. I can even say he doesn’t like women as far as respecting them as people. There were a lot of people that were around that were aware of Sean’s behavior with women in private, and so many of them turned a blind eye to their well-being, and even their safety. His Capricorn Mars indicates someone who prioritizes the power that comes with what he’s achieved, and being able to do what he wants because of it. So, with this Mars Lilith opposition, it is likely that he is the type of person to use his power and influence to attract the women that can act out his sexual desires (Scorpio Neptune) and there is an overwhelming tone of domination that can edge on the border of violence. A final note worth addressing was Sean’s Mars sextile Neptune. With Neptune governing photography, videography and even porn, he may have an interest in the documentation of his encounters with a camera, as well as using this as leverage against these women to have continued control over them (Neptune sextile Pluto), which can be further cited by the allegation of being sent Cassie’s ‘intimate photos’ in the past.

CONCLUSION

The further I go (down the rabbit hole), the more I can find evidence that Sean ‘P Diddy’ Combs is capable of most of everything that he has been accused of thus far, and he is still being hit with lawsuits of a violent sexual nature as I’ve been conducting my case on this. I have to say that I learned a lot more about this figure than what I honestly had an interest to, so much so that I’m deciding to take a break from this topic that I’ve now split into two parts (Diddy X Cassie synastry report will serve as the revisited/part 2). But a lot of what has been coming out against Sean can be explained by quite a few configurations in his chart and can be evenly deduced that he may be capable of more than a fraction of it. There were two main points that I wanted to highlight and bring home each time in regard to Sean’s psychological make-up; his controlling/domineering nature, and his sexual deviancy, and what exactly motivates the two and where it stems from. A lot of Mars (Scorpio) and Capricorn influences can be part of the contributing factors to the emphasis on power and control. His Lilith in Cancer opposing Mars in Capricorn is a major indicator of his sexual violence towards women, among other things, and it is the Aries Chiron that can give insight into his psychological wounds around masculinity. Another point one can make with his chart alignments is that he is a product of his environment, especially when you consider the facts of his life. His parents were both living alternative lifestyles, and Sean being a witness/participant in these lifestyles only fueled his familiarity to it. Speculatively, his mother being an escort opened the door for different sexual fetishes that he has till this day (Moon-South Node conj., Lilith in Cancer opposition to Mars in Capricorn) as it was alleged that this was how he was introduced to the concept of ‘orgies’. Recent findings can speculate that him and his mother engage in deviant behavior together, as a video cites Sean exclaiming his mother ‘likes to have a good time’ and how she can ‘touch the floor with her palms…flat’, which in itself is some ‘disturbing’ inuendo. This can very well play a role in his disrespect towards women as a species, as well as viewing them as sexual objects rather than people. It was also alleged by rapper Mase that Sean’s mother gatekeeps all of Sean’s ‘dirty’ business and is the main proprietor of his estate (Virgo Moon trine Saturn (Taurus) and sextile Sun-Mercury conj. in Scorpio). On the other side of the coin, Sean’s father is an alleged gang member/drug dealer that would have Sean present on certain ‘violent’ occasions, which can contribute to Sean’s belief in fear and barbarity being the most effective means to gain power and control, and this can be expressed with his Sun-Mercury conj. opposite Saturn (and instilled with afflicted Chiron in Aries). Allegedly Sean was even present when his father was gunned down in what is being described as either ‘gang activity’ or ‘a drug deal gone bad’ (Saturn in Taurus square Mars in Capricorn). These configurations can also speak to being mentored by men in the industry, who have a lot of power and prestige themselves. These where the examples that were set for him at a young age, and the way he turned out can be seen as the materialization of these influences.

When I revisit this topic, it will be from the angle of the ‘enslavement’, ‘sexual abuse’ and ‘trafficking’ that was the 10 year relationship between Sean Combs and Cassandra Ventura.

THANKS FOR READING

[clarabowmp3]

hate brigade? I'm sorry but joe alwyn is directly responsible for a lot of the mental hurt that taylor will have to deal with for the rest of her life. I don't understand how people can hear sll, half the songs on midnights not to mention the anxiety ridden lover album and not see the emotional gaslighting joe was putting taylor through! Like that takes a toll and fans qnd the general public alike has a right to call that out. Now he's saying ish about tayvis when none of this concerns him?? Like if that's not manipulative, my name is Bennett cuz he's literally re inserting himself into the ex he resented' life. Unhinged if you ask me. So I don't think it's fair to characterize people as doing the most in this case. Alwyn could have just kept quiet and ate and ate food but now he deserves the dragging. Peace.

wowww wow okay so a couple of things:

we don't know much about their relationship. all we have is speculation based on taylor's lyrics, but we have to remember she is an unreliable narrator, so at best we can take them with a grain of salt. that is excluding how she might have modified certain things to present herself in a favourable light. I'm not saying she did or didn't, but it's a possibility. I say this because of how she's written music about her cheating. She very obviously focuses on how she was feeling and what led her to cheat, rather than her considerations of how it would affect her partner, which I think is yet another manifestation of how she perpetuates her victim narrative. I'm not saying all cheaters are villains, there's definitely some complex emotions involved, but she writes in such a way so as to encourage the reader to root for her by default.

This plays into her desire to be seen as the underdog or hero that everyone wants to support. She did this with Miss Americana too where she spun this whole standing up for women and other marginalised groups narrative, which I think contributed to being a swiftie becoming a trend, along with her whole 'relatable' schtick, fostering personal relationships etc.

There is nothing wrong with liking her music (I'm not gatekeeping), my issue is with people who treat becoming a swiftie as some girl scouts patch to earn by ripping into her 'enemies,' most popularly her exes. Naturally, he has been put through hell on social media since the break-up, up till ttpd dropped and the attention shifted to matty instead.

I agree that many of her love songs from as early as lover are anxiety-ridden, but I think that speaks more to her personality rather than his actions. Certain events may have transpired and he might have acted in a certain way which made her feel insecure etc but we have no reason to think he did it maliciously. What we do have is reason to think this is extremely unlikely. 2016 was rough man, no one knew if she would ever recover from #taylorswiftisoverparty, and yet he still stuck around. To me I think that shows he genuinely cared about her, something taylor has also thought.

Could you elaborate on the emotional gaslighting he has done, (and hence the "mental hurt" he has caused her) keeping in mind all those other reasons why her music is not an accurate source of info ^^?

getting more specific with sll, I don't see how he did anything wrong? I don't want to get too much into it but I know what it feels like to be burdened by someone else's mental health issues, and I do feel irritated by it at times, even though at the end of the day I know it's something they can't control. There's nothing wrong with creating art about difficult emotions, but I think she did not need to release it for the whole world to hear, knowing that they know who she is talking about. The song itself isn't too egregious, she just expresses her frustration with the whole situation ("you'll find someone," "I'm not the one" -> even she doesn't blame him for anything let alone the emotional gaslighting you're accusing him of anon what are you on 😭) the main problem is when people like you use it to villainise joe. like explain to me what part of it shows his gaslighting

For context here is what the whole deuxmoi thing is about, taken from this post:

You can clearly see that he was expressing an opinion on what he thought was a private enough setting. How could he have known he was going to be overheard and it was going to leak to the internet and eventually reach taylor (if any of this ie even true)? She is his ex of 6 years and it's only been a year since their breakup, I think it's fine that he's still somewhat emotionally occupied with her. We don't know if he obsesses about her every day and since the London travis thing is pretty recent, maybe it was just on his mind that day? Also why does he have to keep quiet? taylor can write whatever she wants in her songs, I think he is more than justified to have a conversation in public. We have no reason to think he meant for this to get out or to "[re-insert] himself into the ex he resented' life," as you put it.

to end off, anon I really think you should touch grass (and I'm not trying to be condescending here) because it feels like you're blowing up select details out of proportion to fit the narrative taylor has created through her music. We don't know how accurate that narrative is.

[namelessweapons]

On Religion, Fictionkin, and the importance of 'Gatekeeping'

Long post. Under a cut. Herein when I say 'We' I mean the nebulous idea of a community, I will be using 'I' in this for us, for clarity.

I will be redacting the names of any people or events mentioned herein in passing. This is not a jab, a "Callout", or a focus on one person, event, situation, or otherwise, anything mentioned in passing as examples are just that, examples, and if you recognize any of the people, places, things, or events mentioned herein, you are invited to not name them, they are not individually important.

My last disclaimer is that this is an Essay, not a Debate, I will not be 'Engaging' anyone about it who disagrees. I will not be 'engaging' anyone about it who agrees either. Equality.

I state herein that I will be dropping the term 'Fictionkin', as it's been completely aided to ruin by people who aren't even Fictionkin, and that I place a new word down that I will be using, I will make another post just about this word as well, but do know I do that in this essay.

EDIT: Yes this is okay to reblog! No worries

When I say 'Spirit Animal' what do you think?

Your knee jerk reaction if you don't know me was probably to recoil, it's a term that's been appropriated to the point of near uselessness in conversations with people who aren't indigenous. My father is native, or rather, he's half native and half Salvadoran. But he has closer ties to his native roots, for this reason, I spent a lot of time with my indigenous nation on the reservation parts of my family lived on, and I've never been to El Salvador once.

Your next thought may be wondering why I don't drop what nation I'm from, it's because it's really easy to doxx people with that information, so I will not be doing so, it's not super important anyway, the only important part is that my people have a concept that has been appropriated into this nebulous concept of 'Spirit Animal', it's now a fundamentally useless word to me, and many other indigenous people as well, because people who don't believe the same things we do took a concept, and a word, and gave it their own meaning, and ran with it.

This post isn't about being native, and it's not about spirit animals, but it is about the idea of taking concepts and, more importantly, words that already exist and are attached to a belief system, and re-appropriating them into other meanings.

Where is this going? I'm getting there.

I've been out as 'Otherkin', specifically 'Deitykin' for around sixteen years now, and out as 'Fictionkin' for a large chunk of that. Before I continue I'd like to say that being Fictionkin is not 'A Delusion', it is not a medical condition, believe me I've seen therapists and psychologists, it's a keystone of my religious identity and spirituality, once upon a time I probably wouldn't have had to clarify that to my own community.

You see, it used to be that when you said you were 'Fictionkin' it mainly meant one of two things, either it was a religious belief, or you had caught on to the part of tumblr who began using it to mean 'I just really love and identify with this character, teehee!', and when that started happening, people for whom this was a religious belief, a deep an important part of their identity, pushed back, and said 'hey, we were here first, this is our religion, can you maybe get a new word for your roleplay?'

And that was the correct response, it is not only rude, but morally reprehensible to take something from people as important as a deeply set religious belief, and to say 'no, actually, you have to let us use it for this totally unrelated thing, that will make people assume the completely wrong thing of you'

It's this sort of colonizer mindset, this is why I started this off talking about the fact that I'm indigenous by the way, because I knew I was going to use this word as a comparison and I wanted people to know where I was coming from in regards to my relationship with it. But it is a very similar mindset, it's the mindset of 'I am going to use this, and you have to share, and if you aren't okay with that, you're an icky gatekeeper and the onus is on you to move'

No, it isn't, the onus is not on me, or anyone else for who this is a fundamental religious belief to 'move'.

Back then we were pretty good about setting boundaries, when someone would say 'I choose to identify as this character' or 'I just identify deeply with this character' the community was pretty good at standing its ground and going, no, that's not correct, there's no issue with that, but you need to get your own word, because this word exists, and we as a religious community are using it.

However I was recently made aware of the fact that apparently, somewhere along the way, some people decided that it was playground bullying to not allow people to appropriate spiritual beliefs and religion, now I'm not sure exactly when that started, I logged off the internet for a while to focus on my religion off the internet and also to deal with a fire and being homeless.

When I came back I still wasn't aware of it right away, in fact I wasn't aware of it until my spouse, who lives in the same home as me, attended an event and got to watch someone use the term 'Fictionkin' incorrectly.

Now I did not choose to attend this event, I work a very busy job, I also wasn't aware there was a discord for it or I may have joined to people-watch, but in the end knew it wouldn't matter, because my spouse and I live together, and I can community watch over their shoulder should I desire to.

Back to the situation, someone used the term 'Fictionkin' incorrectly, or rather they used a term other than 'Fictionkin' and attached the meaning that already existed of the word 'Fictionkin' to it, because at some point when I wasn't looking, Fictionkin were pushed out of their own words and their own spaces in favor of this new meaning, which seems to range from anything from;

'I have medical delusions about being this character' 'I choose to ID as this character' 'I just identify very closely with this character'

to a myriad of other things. I'll circle back to this, the point is I was completely taken aback when I saw the people in charge of the group wrist slap not the person who was using the wrong definition and implying by extension that everyone using 'Fictionkin' was delusional, or choosing their identity, or similar, but the Fictionkin who were attempting to protect their words from being appropriated.

This is, to me, morally disgusting. I find it fundamentally abhorrent, and I recognized something in it, that tiny sliver of a moment where I was like, oh, this is exactly like how white people took things from my culture and ran with them to the point where they're fundamentally useless outside of spaces that have been carefully screened to only include the original users, because outside of that everyone will make wild assumptions. I get the same roiling feeling in my gut when someone goes 'Oh, fictionkin, like the people who have delusions!/Really like a character!' as I do when Britteneigh who works at Holister overhears me speaking about [REDACTED] and goes 'Oh my goshh you're talking about spirit animals! my spirit animal is-'

Before anyone gets into a huff, no, I am not 1:1 comparing being fictionkin to the oppression my people have faced, so take your hands off the keyboard, because I wouldn't have replied to your lack of reading comprehension anyway to be frank. One situation reminding me of another does not mean I am 1:1'ing the situations and the fact I have to explain this here before it even happens says a lot about my faith in tumblr's reading comprehension. I know.

Back to my essay, the feeling was very similar, this was a word I had used for a long time, a word I was around for when it was created, and a word I had watched be kept very carefully so as not to be watered down, so that an already small and spread out community would have a way of discussing our experiences, feelings, and needs, without becoming scattered, lost, and lonely.

Because that really is the point of having specific religious denominations, my father was a hobbyist theologist, I grew up with bookshelves popping up around me filled top to bottom with religious texts. There are Christian denominations you can't even get to share a room because their root beliefs are so different, so they have different words. Imagine for a moment that an 18 year old walks into your catholic church -- you're catholic in this scenario -- and tells you, someone who has been catholic since you yourself were a child, the following:

"I think your delusional dependence on the saints is really quirky and cute, I've been in touch with God himself for two years now, but you're cool too"

You would probably not be entirely happy, and I think most people would understand why. It's more complex than that of course, ironically I'm watering down a theological belief to make a point about not watering down theological beliefs, I can be a hypocrite, as a treat.

Allow me to loop back to my original point. I came back, feeling lonely and eager to re-engage with my religious community now that my life was more stable, only to find that at some point my religion had been bulldozed over in the name of (misguided, I'll get to that) "Inclusion". I had been, have been, left Spiritually Homeless so to speak, never knowing if a place I popped my head into would be for people like me, or for people so fundamentally different from me that we effectively have nothing in common.

I don't have anything against people with delusions, I have non-religious delusions when my OCD peaks. I don't have an issue with people who relate very closely with fictional characters. I don't even really have an issue with people who 'choose' to identify as a character other than the core idea of this essay. I don't mind sharing casual non kin or non religious spaces with these people, why would I?

I would say 'after all, they aren't hurting me'

Except like, here's the thing.

They Are.

I came back to what I considered my home, my religious community, and I found that while I had been gone, I and people like me had been forcibly removed from the spaces we had made, pushed out overwhelmingly by either people who had either appropriated our word outright, or worse still, by people who aren't fictionkin, have no right to speak on fictionkin (much less the words we use or how we defend our religious institutions), and who have bullied us out of our spaces on this unacceptable, fundamentally selfish, colonizer-minded idea of 'Not Gatekeeping', of 'Radical Inclusivity'.

They are hurting me by depriving me of spaces where I am comfortable, understood, don't need to constantly re-iterate my religion, and they are hurting me by depriving me of a word that historically has been the only real word to get into contact with the few other people I share a religion with, and by telling people I have a disorder that I do not have, as again, I do not have religious delusions, I simply partake in a niche religion. There is nothing wrong with having delusions, there is something wrong with force-diagnosing me by proxy.

And guess what. Sometimes things just aren't for everyone. Sometimes things just aren't for you. And you have to be okay with that. Or if you aren't okay with it, you're going to have to deal with it, because it's just the way things are.

Now, since I know someone is going to get into it, what I'm talking about here has nothing to do with the queer definition of Radical Inclusivity, not relevant, not related, not a religion, not the same, do not bother bringing it up.

When I say, 'I am Fictionkin', I want people to know right away two things.

I am a fictional character (or rather, I resemble a fictional character and can be considered a nonfictional version of them for all major purposes)

For spiritual reasons, this is a religion for me.

I do not want, at any point, for any reason, anyone to have to ask or wonder, if this is a self ID thing, a medical thing, a love of the media thing, I fucking hate half my media, shining resonance refrain is dogshit and here's why-

Different essay. Sorry.

This is getting quite long, so I will now turn around and backtrack to my original point.

Thanks to a lack of gatekeeping, partially from the community itself, and overwhelmingly by people who paint themselves as having authority who aren't even Fictionkin forcing Fictionkin out of their spaces to make way for unrelated people, the word no longer has meaning, and despite being there when it first began being used, it is no longer a label that fits or that I am comfortable with.

For this reason, I will be hereby using the term Fictotheism, Fictotheist, Fictotheological.

{Use: I practice Fictotheism, I am a Fictotheist, I am Fictotheological}

My fictionkin status is religious, it is spiritual, I will be using this word because that point is baked in, it will be difficult to appropriate by anyone else, I have created this word to be like a bra; it should feel uncomfortable to use for anyone whom it does not fit.

I do not care if other people use it, in fact, if it does fit you, please do. I am not demanding anyone use it, it was created for me, and for me alone, as someone who was pushed out of my original community, it is too late I believe to reclaim Fictionkin, which is unfortunate.

My hope is that a new word will primarily give people a clear immediate idea of what I am, and that if for some reason others should begin using it, that it will create a community that is once again not only in-contact, but at less risk of being pushed out of our own community.

My only request to anyone who uses it, is that you gatekeep it. I am not only asking you to gatekeep it. I am telling you to. It must be in order to keep the definition intact. 'I identify as a character perceived as fictional for religious reasons', this is the definition, there are no other definitions, so sayeth the lord. This is a joke by the way, I'm not that pompous.

Not the demand to gatekeep this word however, that was genuine.

In closing, the word Fictionkin has been stolen from the people who originally used it, and I think that's quite frankly disgusting, but there is no fixing it now, the only way we could have fixed it was to gatekeep it when we first started being pushed out. Regardless of which word picks up traction next, I hope that this time we, as a community, can come together to keep people; especially people who aren't even fictionkin, from forcing us out of our own churches.

I will end on this note, partially for humor, and partially to nip this in the bud.

Spouse: 'People will definitely try to force you to use Fictionkind or say it already exists for this reason (despite it also being watered down)'

Me: Good, they can get fucked, this is my word for me baybee!!

[justmandika]

Elevator Hitch OCs go brrr!!!

CW: Mentions of drowning, freezing to death and gruesome scaring / gore below! Your first and final warning!

Meet "Trainee"

~ Roughly around his mid 20s. ~ His interview was going well, up until he was given the opportunity to test himself under intense pressure. Thrown to the bottom of the radiation pool on Floor 5. He struggles to prove himself, but always falls short. ~ No longer human, some humanoid monster that is always suffering intense burns and internal bleeding. ~ Raspy voice, doesn't talk much for swelling. ~ Please help him, he is constantly suffering, how long has it been?

Meet Coordinator

~ Age unknown, definitely deceased. ~ Based off the legendary "Elevator Game". Feels like if following a specific pattern, a new floor / death opens up. ~ Wolf in sheep's clothing, her frail innocence is nothing to trust. ~ Really a frost-bitten corpse who wants to stay warm. She needs a campfire to sit at. ~ Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. Her name's Lumi!

Of course, these characters are fictional works, nor do they dive into canon elements of Elevator Hitch. Just for funny shits n giggles :)

[fair-city-packs]

Would it be possible maybe to get a pack for a fictive of Fu Xuan from Honkai Star Rail? I know that's specific so it's alright if not lol

So far all we know about her is the name, really. She's already in the system maybe and we just want to help her with some details.

Ty regardless! I'm glad to see more of these things that aren't transid rq whatever :3

-@cloverstarsys and since I'm shadowbanned or smth I'm gonna mention a blank sideblog so I get the notif @zakaithecatboy

I can very well try!

A Robot Brings Your Delivery!

🤖

Name(s): Name already chose by requester

Pronouns: She / Shx / Star / Quantum / They / Thxy / It / Ix / Preserve / Shine / Pink / Crystal

Would you like suggested neopronouns?: Yes

Gender(s): Softpinkfrillic, Cherryblossflowic, Pinkbodiment, Magicgender, Magicalgirlgender, Girlflux, Gxrlflux

Would you like suggested xenogenders?: Yes

Orientation(s): I think possible sapphic of some sort? Like, lesbian, bi???

Age(s): Late Teens to Early 20's physically, but Ageless

Species: Xianzhou Native

Source(s): Fu Xuan from Honkai: Star Rail

Role(s): Antidepressant, Femininity Holder, Gatekeeper, Protector

Kin(s) (Optional): N/A

Personality traits/details: Strict, Bossy, Confident, Blunt

Likes: Reading, Fashion, Doing makeup

Dislikes: no clue sobs

Sign Off: - ✨, - 🪄, - 🔮

Extra details:

Faceclaim:

Would you like a picrew?: No

I hope she fits in with your system well! - 🤖

[romandaandromeda]

How Azumanga Daioh tells the difference between the "Old Web" and "Modern Internet"

a content warning for mentions of rape, pedophilia, and ableism (well, better safe than sorry!)

i had an entire thing written before this, but i decided to scrap it for when spacehey comes back online

so, the old web. we know what it is, we know how we see it, geocities, crunchy gifs, flashes and whatever. but have you ever seen the difference between its societies scattered across websites whether it be an imageboard, geocity, or forum against our discorded societies on major social media platforms?

a while back, i had begun watching azumanga daioh as a result of a sudden reinterest in the anime in this decade. this reminded me of how prevalent anime was on the internet as a whole 2 decades ago (and more or less, azumanga's iron grip on anons and lurkers alike), which led me to searching for how different this era was with memes.

memes, or a fad, wasn't very accessible as they are today, while some could be laughed at as an outsider (think awesome face, shoop da whoop, nyan cat, impact font memes), memes outside of the public conscious were mostly inside jokes spawned from forums like something awful or imageboards like 2chan or 4chan.

out of those many, azumanga was one of the more popular ones. think about it, funny teenagers do funny things and combine that with a major love from anime communities, you get things like these:

now what i've noticed about these memes from pre-2010 is their inside joke nature. ask the modern user what a sticky is or why they think osaka is pretending to be a nazi, they wouldn't know or be a bit offput. plus using kaorin's little lesbian crushing on sakaki to project their straight love for sakaki would probably be looked down upon now but that was just normal. if you couldn't handle it then it was either hit the road or deal with it.

you can probably guess that kimura was probably the most relatable character ever in those days, don't even get me started on the normalization of pedophile/rape jokes back then.

now that's fun and all, but how about nowadays? we no longer have a scattered culture, everyone is using one single site for entertainment and posting, and all of the forums and imageboards have been designated a hazard zone as their users have mutated into despicable folks that have been shunned away to the point where they seem more depraved than their past. AKA, they no longer care for relating over a character or talking about a show, they'd rather argue about their nitpicks of a specific character or show and just skulk on what used to be a thriving community. well, nowadays it seems you don't need to be part of a specific community anymore, just see a meme and laugh without any context. with azumanga's revival in interest, this has sort of spawned what i like to call "azumanga autism memes" (TO CLARIFY: I AM AUTISTIC, FEEL FREE TO MAKE UP YOUR OWN NAME IF MINE DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT!). as they've mostly just become the most nonsensical and silly images ever, you practically don't need to watch the show to understand because its so disconnected from the source material it's like a cup of coffee, just pick it up and have a taste.

some examples:

notice anything? suddenly, osaka takes the center stage! with exception to the one chiyo image, osaka has become the face of azumanga as the modern internet knows it. compare that to how every character had about the same love through different edits in the old web, and it seems that most people would think that osaka is the main character of azumanga instead of the multiple characters' stories spread through the series. this has seemed to piss off many a gatekeeper, who are mad that this series is only gaining interest because of one character and her vague memes. to which i believe gatekeeping such a building block of the internet like azumanga is like trying to defend an unstable shack, it's useless.

so, what can we tell from the differences between ye olde and the new? to cut to the chase, the old web's fad culture was built from inside jokes outside of the "webcore/y2k-integrated" memes used for aesthetics. and nowadays people have publicized memes to a point where context is thrown from the picture and anyone can enjoy a meme instead of enjoying its source.

which is better? i can't tell you, you don't see much enjoyability and genuine appreciation in editing in today's memes than you did with old fads (you have to make people laugh, lest you be banished to the "reddit" label hell) but the normalization of taboo topics like racism, rape, and ableism should definitely be left behind in the old. it's just personal preference, really.

that's the end of this post, please enjoy kasuga.swf:

[kaydendoesmc1]

Music fandoms are unnecessarily toxic

Music fandoms are extremely toxic, specifically when music artists write about their own mental health and traumas. MARINA’s fandom is toxic as hell. It’s always, “Oh, you can’t like her music because you didn’t listen to it in 2009” or, “You can’t call yourself a fan because you don’t use her full government name and only listen to Are you Satisfied and Bubblegum Bitch”. I also see this with Melanie Martinez. I am a huge fan  of both of these artists and I hate the people in the fandoms because of the gatekeeping, shaming for liking the more well known songs, and general toxicity. 

‼️This goes against the songs that they have always made‼️ 

MARINA talks about how the world is shit and to not be apart of that. Her fans go out of their way to say that they’re gatekeeping her music. Melanie talks about her own personal insecurities and most people shame her for them and the way she vents it out. Not to mention leaking unreleased songs, body shaming, and LITERALLY DOXING OTHER ARTISTS BECAUSE THEY BROKE UP WITH HER EVEN THOUGH THEY BROKE OFF ON GOOD TERMS!

I’m honestly just tired of wanting to find posters for my favorite artists on Pinterest only to be bombarded with “You’re not a real fan of {Insert Artist} if you don’t x, y, z”.  Can’t we just agree that an artist makes good music and move the fuck on? 

Thank you for coming to my Kay talk. 

Edit: I think Mel’s fandom is becoming more toxic with the SA allegations because some of y’all are going through leaps and bounds to defend her when it’s easier to just say that you separate the art from the artist.