#not for a diagnosis because i’m not risking that. lol

[videnoirs]

just as a precaution, im definitely going to email that dissociation specialist tomorrow.

[steampunk-raven]

“why do i keep getting nosebleeds” - person who has been unable to consume liquid all day (and quite a bit of the weeks before)

[elialys]

Hope you don't mind me info dumping my thoughts after watching newsreader and also reading some of your thoughts (I am so hyper focused on this show lol)

If Dale is neurodiverse, what sort of neurodiversity do you think he has? Is he a bit on the spectrum or ADHD? But then it would man that he would mask himself quite well, he's just a bit awkward.

Anna was very beautiful this season.

I never understood why Lindsay was so obsessed with Dale? It was very creepy

I know I shouldn't but I really want to diagnose Dale, like Helen is BPD, but I feel like Dale had mental health issues, but it could also be just him being repressive.

I am going to imagine that post s3 he gets therapy and gets together with Helen. He accepts he is bi too.

I have SO many thoughts when it comes to Dale being on the spectrum! A lot of it is my ‘neurospicy’ detector going off when I watch him, but joking aside, I think I see him as a neurodivergent character because he displays a lot of traits that are fairly common for people on the spectrum.

Disclaimer, I come from a family full of neurodivergent people, some with a diagnosis, some without, many with…‘characteristics’—myself included. I also study/work in a field that has me spending a lot of hours every day with people on various versions of this infamous spectrum, so while I am joking about having a neurospicy ‘detector,’ I am sensitive to neurodivergence, and often recognize it (and I’m usually right when I do).

Dale is socially awkward. Yes, I know, it sounds like a cliché, but it is an actual fact that social interactions are often hard when you’re neurodivergent. You’re just…slightly off, in a lot of situations. Dale takes things literally. He rehearses how he’s going to deliver lines, way beyond how he will be on camera, but with people too. The mirror thing he does? I’ve done it, and I know a lot of people on the spectrum do it, it’s a real thing.

Also, he hyperfixates. He’s got special interests—in this case, newsreading and journalism (since he was a very young child), to the point of it becoming his entire identity. He also likes rules, and following those rules, and fitting in boxes 🥲

You’ve mentioned masking, which is one of the main things neurodivergent people do, in an attempt to fit in with people and society. Very often, when you’re neurodivergent, the world around you makes you understand at a very young age that any odd behavior/responses you have are not acceptable; you’re often rejected/mocked for being awkward in social settings. So you learn to mask, without realizing you’re doing it. It’s a coping mechanism. Everyone does it to some extent, but autistic people do it on a whole different level—and it’s exhausting.  

(I’m continuing the rest of this TED Talk under a read more because I need to talk about season 3, so, SPOILERS!!)

Dale’s entire arc from season 1 to 3 is a form of masking. He says it himself in the finale “You would hate the real me, everybody did. So I changed him, and now, you hate him even more!”

He’s obsessed over his image, about how people view him, about needing to appear normal, may it be in his masculinity, in his sexuality, in everything that makes him HIM. So many of those horrible comments he listens to say something along the line of “he’s weird, he’s off-putting, there’s something stilted about him.” The harder he tries, the less “normal” he appears, and it makes him absolutely spiral.

Dale hitting himself in that heartbreaking scene in 3.06? To me it’s not just a physical representation of his self-loathing.

[article]

I’m no expert so I don’t want to extend too much on that and risk saying the wrong thing, but self-harm most definitely is a thing autistic people may do, especially when they experience meltdowns, which is when someone is so overwhelmed by a situation that they lose control of their behavior. To be honest, the whole first half of episode 3.06 is Dale’s inevitable meltdown from everything he’s put himself through this season—and everything that was done to him by ‘exterior forces’ (Lindsay on top of the list).

So to link back to another one of your point, Dale most definitely has mental health issues, too, due in part to his past traumas, the abuse he was suffering from at work, and the fact that he’s a neurodivergent (bisexual) human living in a neurotypical society. In a newsroom of all places! 💀

[bleue-flora]

I was reading your post and the replies to your post, and I really wanted to say something to the replies

It's NOT a ableist to acknowledge that people's brains work differently and to adapt a different way of speaking as to make it easier for them to understand.

To not account and adapt to someones disability is ableist.

To use an example but switch out to a visible disabled example, wheelchair users. Wheelchair users are as much a person as an able body ones. But the mindset of "they can do anything an able body person can! so we should assume they don't need any aid or else we risk making them feel less" leads to someone building a school only for able body people, which means no ramps for wheelchairs or entryways too small for wheelchairs to fit in. Because the building was not built to help out their disabilities they have to find different and longer paths to get from point A to point B, which means more time and effort spent than an able body schoolmate.

In the effort to not make them feel less, by not accounting for their disability in mind, you actually make their life harder.

To bring it back to autism, to account for their difficulties in understanding is that ramp. To NOT build that ramp and question why they can't go from point A to point B as it is, and then going around saying they must be difficult on purpose... just seems like ableist, right?

"So baby them?" It's not babying someone to find different ways to speak or ways to make them understand. To say there's only one way to make someone understand, and trying different methods means you're babying them, is ableist.

Taking another route to talk doesn't equal talking down to them.

Also Autistic people can be built differently. Just because Autistic Person A understand, doesn't equal Autistic Person B would too. Just because they are under the same disability doesn't mean the effects of that disability is the same. Like how two people can both be Bi, but one is more same-sex leading than the other. Or two People are Italian, but one's Italian American.

Please DO acknowledge and make concessions to other people's needs, because to not aid them and expect them to react normally is the thing that makes lifes more difficult.

[referenced post]

Well said. I saw people saying similar things on Twitter too so I’m glad you took the time to address it in such a well thought out manner. I love your wheelchair example. <3

Yeah, just to reiterate making accommodations or considerations for people with any disability is leveling the playing field, allowing things to be on the same footing. To add a further example to the discussion, in school because of my vision disability (I know not my adhd or autism? lol… yup that diagnosis actually came later but anyways) I got extended time on exams. Some might perceive this as unfair, but it actually just allowed me the needed time to read and comprehend the questions since it just takes me longer to do so. That doesn’t make me any less intelligent or that I need to be babied, I was in the honor society and top of most of my classes in school and up until college I didn’t receive any accommodation for my vision issues as it wasn’t discovered till senior year of high school. When I took the ACT (my 3rd or maybe 4th?) with accommodations for the first time my score when up 10 points, which is huge in a scale where 36 is the ma btw. And it wasn’t that I was any more smart or able to cheat with accommodations therefore made a higher score, no I just was able to actually finish the test like everyone else.

In summary, it’s not about babying someone with disabilities but being considerate to a fellow human being and leveling the playing field so you are on more equal footing. It’s pretty screwed up to punish or scrutinize someone in a wheelchair for being late to class when they had to go around the whole building because there was no ramp at the front. Autism consideration is no different. It’s not ableist to put out some ramps for disabled people it’s just treating them with the respect, kindness, grace and benefit of the doubt they deserve as a fellow human being.

Anyways, I hope that this post will stand, not as an accusation or bashing of anyone but more so educational, because I think the sentiment in general of not wanting to treat people with disabilities in a condescending, demeaning, infantizing, or babying manner is good at heart. That intention is good, it’s just not based in reality. And hopefully, this has helped to provide some insight and perspective to keep in mind in the future.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

IDK how seriously you're considering the possibility of having ADHD, but something that helped me out a lot when I first got my diagnosis as a young adult was a YouTube channel called How to ADHD. It's got a combination of more science-y information and suggestions on things to try to manage ADHD symptoms.

Something to keep in mind if you think you might have ADHD is that caffeine/stimulants tend to make ADHD people sleepy/focused, so it takes a lot more to make them feel energetic/awake. This means it's easier to consume too much or to become reliant on it to function, and can get really nasty if someone isn't aware of the extra risk because of their ADHD.

You might already know that, but in my opinion it's one of the more dangerous and scary parts of ADHD, and I've had people I'm close to have bad experiences with caffeine, so I think it's worth mentioning.

I’ve had a few people tell me I probably have it, and I’m pretty sure my mom has it, so I wouldn’t be surprised. There’s not much I’d be doing differently with or without a diagnosis, I think; I’ve been finding ways to compensate anyway.

I do in fact drink caffeine to focus LOL, because I do not need caffeine to stay up all night. But caffeinating makes me anxious as heck if I do too much, so I usually open a single energy drink and have it over the course of 2-3 shifts. One of my friends likes to meet up for coffee hangouts, though, so I end up drinking more caffeine when I’m not working than when I do 😂😅 also is the reason I stayed awake for 24 hours for funsies and needed a glass of wine to counteract it lol

But it is a good warning to share, so thank you for bringing it up!

[transmutationisms]

hi caden you’ve talked before about enjoying using stimulant drugs i am interested from the pov of someone who isn’t going to be like “they cured my symptoms <3” what they did for you. i’m considering getting an adhd diagnosis bc i think i could benefit from the meds even though i don’t think the classification itself is useful

finally, a medical advice question i can answer. i will cut to the chase here: i basically just like being mildly high on amphetamines. if you ever like, drank a shitload of caffeine all at once, that's kind of a shittier and weaker version of how it feels when an rx stimulant kicks in. they make you feel more energetic and awake (good for me because i am eepy), they can produce a mild sense of euphoria, they generally just sort of heighten your arousal / attention / alertness. for me, i pretty reliably experience this as being more confident / lively / interested in things (tho it's not uncommon for many people that this can also feel like heightened anxiety, so ymmv). i can use this boost to like, get work done, or just for recreational purposes lol. often both! i actually used to have short-release stims as my rx, and a lot of times i would snort them, again sometimes purely recreationally and sometimes more prupose-driven. if you're going to do that there are some additional health risks lol so i wouldn't necessarily recommend it casually, but ya know. (i have kinda soured on the short-release ones anyway because i tend to forget to keep re-upping them and then i get terrible crashes coming on and off them. the long-release are a little kinder in that respect, you just won't really be able to mess with the dose to the same degree.)

there's a lot of mystification around rx stimulants from psychiatric and pharmaceutical authorities who are trying really hard to differentiate their products from more stigmatised, illegal uppers. this really appealed to me when i first got dxed with adhd lol, but is basically horseshit, pharmacologically speaking; uppers are uppers and some people like them. for example, i also enjoy coke, but it's expensive, doesn't last that long, and comes with the risks of any black-market drug, where i'm not able to know for sure how much it's cut & with what, &c. so, i don't really think of rx uppers as being different categorically to black-market ones, but all drugs have different considerations and you might like one over another for any number of reasons.

anyway yeah: i like adhd drugs, and although i can and do use them to accomplish certain things (like, it is true they make it easier to sustain focus, eg on work or boring chores or whatever), i do also just like the feeling of using them. i don't feel like i need to justify either of those reasons for using stims lol, and also, separating the two is basically impossible in practice and imo is really just a fantasy of drug moralisers who don't want to admit that a it's, like, ok to enjoy substances. obviously, if you want to look into uppers, i would also strongly recommend keeping an eye on potential side effects and long-term risks, of which there definitely are some (particularly some cardiac things to keep in mind, and risks go up if you're using higher amounts, and/or mixing with other substances esp downers).

[rustbeltjessie]

Today: finally got my oldest kiddo an ADHD diagnosis and a prescription for ADHD meds. (We’ve suspected he’s ADHD as well as autistic for a while now, but waiting lists and bureaucratic red tape are a thing, so it took a while to actually make this happen.) Later, I went to the post office to check my PO Box and buy a sheet of stamps, and the postal worker at the counter was thee hottest futch, like so hot I was flustered just talking to them. And then after that I went to the drugstore to pick up my kiddo’s meds, and I browsed through the makeup section cuz I really need some new eyeliner, but I couldn’t afford any because eyeliner costs like $10-15+ now?! I had a split second where I considered just pocketing some but being that I am no longer a teen or 20-something, and that I have kids of my own, I’m no longer willing to risk getting arrested for stealing fucking eyeliner.

In general, I’ve been really on top of shit lately. Had some literary contests and magazines I wanted to submit to that required submission fees, so I found an extra little side hustle to make money for those, and then sent them in. I’m very close to being done with the new issue of my zine. I’ve got D. on meds and have also got the process going for him to get other therapies and community help. I’ve signed the other kid up for some art and science classes he’s interested in. I’m considering going back to school for something quite different than I ever studied before, and I sent away for information from a couple nearby universities. And I made a dentist appointment for myself, even though I have hella dental anxiety. (Truly, going to the dentist is one of my least favorite things in the world. I would rather spend an entire day at the DMV than go to the dentist. I would rather fly than go to the dentist, and I hate flying.)

Lol, but I’ve long suspected I’m ADHD but never pursued a diagnosis, and there are some common ADHD things that I don’t relate to, so when I hear those I’m like oh, no, maybe I’m not. But like half the stuff the doc was talking about today I was like: “Oh. Me, me, me again, also me.” So…

And I’m really happy I’ve found a teeny side hustle to pay for submission fees. Now I just gotta find a way to make that sweet, sweet eyeliner money…

[bisluthq]

and he sorta chimed in towards the end that maybe she'd be less miserable if she stopped drinking and went to therapy and she lost her shit at him and then blamed me for "always siding with him" and implied like I do that because it gives me a cushy life in my nice house with my bf who pays for things and fixes my broken passenger car door lol and I was like "um no it's actually because he was... right..." but like that's the kind of person she is?? So no I don't want to be friends again but also like I STILL FEEL SO BAD lol.

//////////

Oooooh this just really solidified it all for me lol. So I don’t want to put words in your mouth but following along it seems like you have worked hard on your relationship with alcohol and how much you consume and when and WHY, and whether you felt better off it cause hypomania or not, YOU HAVE DONE THE WORK. Hypomania doesn’t usually make people do a backflip on their lifestyle that’s actually healthy? Like someone might take up running but then the mania part is signing up for marathons after a week and feeling like they saw god, not going ‘I kinda like cocktails and enjoy a light buzz and a wine paired with this meal, but whiskey is actually gross’ (idk, but you just seem more mindful to me which is what I’m getting at. And all alcohol to me tasted like cleaning products so idk much about it).

You’ve also talked about REALLY TRYING for years and DOING THE WORK with keeping up with therapy, medication, improving communication with your bf, both of you working on things that came up in your rs because of insecurities/ past experiences, whatever… kudos to you! So many people go to therapy, complain, get advice, don’t take it, and keep destructive habits because it’s easier than being uncomfortable with whatever advice they got (some people also just aren’t ready - been there lol).

Seeing a glimmer into how bad things have been for you though with the hospitalisations and stuff, and working out all that comes with the new diagnosis, I think the risk of this girl triggering you too much or derailing you really isn’t worth it. And not to be a bitch, but that comment she made - she doesn’t take accountability, she’s not willing to do the work, and she insulted your relationship and basically called you fake and said you’re in a sugar relationship, which is SHITTY for a friend to say no matter how drunk they were or if it was jealousy or what.

You feel bad cause you care about people and don’t want them to feel shit. Sounds like she is sad because you didn’t meet an expectation that wasn’t communicated with you, but she also didn’t rise to the occasion when you were in hospital. So she isn’t even living by example or putting in the effort to be like ‘this is how *I* treat my friends and the standard I expect’. You did the same and she got pissy and tried to emotionally blackmail your bf.

I had a friend like this as part of a big group. She was chaos walking, she got drunk and ruined nights - like putting her hand into an uncut bday cake before we sang happy bday, then when multiple people were annoyed or hurt (it was a fancy cake custom ordered, which weren’t big out here at the time and really touched the bday girl and she was so looking forward to it and we were too because it was like $200 which is ridiculous but bday girl LOVED this fancy type cake). Anyway, I’ll call her Amy (very fake name), Amy was then like ‘omg you’re all soooooo dramatic it’s just cake and we’re not kids and bdays aren’t that important 🙄’ but this chick went all out in planning her bday and texted us what she wanted as a group gift lmao. So she got what she wanted but treated others like shit.

Eventually Amy phased herself out because we were “boring” and she trashed us all on social media when she made friends with this drug den crew and she’d post pics about how she “FINALLY HAS REAL FRIENDS WHO GET HER” but we always had “party mums” and designated drivers. Her new friends didn’t. So when she woke up covered in vomit she was pissed at them for not taking care of her but they just didn’t do that. We forcibly held Amy down when she was trying to hurt herself, then staged an intervention and had a plan where several of us asked her to get help. She thought it was an attack and told us to fuck off. Not an uncommon reaction but.

Anyway, we noticed how much more relaxed we were without Amy, people drank less and there wasn’t a need for “party mums” because no one was pushing their limits. We started going to nicer places because we weren’t worried about her deliberately breaking plates, glasses and stealing cutlery anymore. And even though she phased herself out, we cared about her and still invited her because some times she could be THE SWEETEST and we thought that was the real her. Then we phased her out and honestly forgot about her pretty quickly because it was going so well lol. She also stole from our houses when we still lived with parents btw (most people don’t move out until 25+ here). When I had a broken ankle she took my crutches (people did this) but she threw them in the pool in winter ans someone else had to go in freezing to get them for me after wondering where they were for over an hour and her refusing to say.

Anyway, eventually Amy reached out to all of us and apologised and invited us to a house party as a peace offering. Only one person out of about 15 replied and went to her house, where Amy cried about how awful we were for not accepting her apology. My other friend who went explained Amy had caused a lot of hurt a lot of times and everyone was tired. Amy yelled at her and said all the ways we were bad people.

I felt bad ignoring Amy’s olive branch but felt like I made the right decision after finding out how things went down. I saw her a while later and I had felt bad about ghosting so we spoke friendly chitchat. She was trying to say we should have lunch and idk where I got the confidence from tbh but I told her, “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I think you can be a lovely person and that is who you are deep down, but you really hurt me with xyz, you never apologised and laughed at me for being hurt, and you appear to make no effort to change. I care about you, but I can’t watch you self destruct and I can’t go down that road with you because my health is shaky at best right now (for very unrelated reasons), and that is my number one priority. If you’re ready to see a therapist or go to rehab and need help with arranging it, I’ll take you and sit in the waiting room, but I’m not equipped to be your crisis hotline, as much as I want to help you, and then I don’t know when you’re serious (she had “joked” about wanting to kill herself and called me at all hours of the night just to laugh at me for believing her and caring ����).” She just stood there and wasn’t prepared for me to be so bold, said ‘ok well I wish you well….bye’ and that was it. Then she made social media posts about how “an old friend” wanted her to kill herself.

Last I heard she dated a Scientologist and got right into it, then decided she hated it and went to therapy is doing well - yay.

I share this as my way of relating and seeing if anything resonates with you because despite the chaos and her being a bit of a bitch many times, it ate me up until our final confrontation! I wanted Nothing to do with her but wanted to help her but …. Rinse and repeat…

So I think there are a few things you can do:

1. Ghost her. View her as a toxic substance to your health - doesn’t mean she’s a toxic person, but for you, she’s not healthy. Prioritise the things you seem to prioritise, your health and your relationship with your bf, because it doesn’t sound like she’s good for your rs either, but I could be wrong. Has your bf weighed in on this?

2. Write a letter and never send it, list all the reasons why you care about her but CAN’T start up again. It might help you think more clearly.

3. Meet up and say you’ve been through a lot and made a lot of changes to your lifestyle. Don’t disclose anything you don’t want to, keep it vague if you want. See how she reacts, she might be sympathetic and curious and be someone less chaotic now (doubt it based on what she said to your bf but maybe she was having a bad day idk) and you can be “new friends” as these new versions of yourself. Or her reaction will validate you not wanting to be around her and you can say ‘sorry, this isn’t going to work. Good luck babe but I think it’s best we keep our distance for a while/ good luck babe.’

4. Say it seems we have both hurt each other and I don’t want to hurt you more, I’m sure you don’t want to hurt me, but I don’t want to rehash everything we’ve each done. I hope you can find a better support system, thx 4 the memories x x’ and then it’s a no blame goodbye lol. Or you could throw in a boundary like ‘maybe in time when we’re both in a better headspace we can have a healthy friendship, but until I am strong enough/ whatever phrase, and you have worked on the things we talked about (if you think you could do better and benefit from therapy), I can’t be around you.

You can say goodbye in a way where you’re not feeling bad for ghosting but also make it sound nice but it’s actually a firm “please dni until you go to therapy and change” which it sounds like she’s not ready for.

Hope this long af essay helped. Sending love, friendship breakups SUCK 🩷

thank you!!! This really helped.

also Amy sounds like she highkey sucks but fwiw so does my girl lmao.

also like... I'm just thinking about all the annoying things my girl did (let's call her Susan) lmao like when she was with her ex (so when I first met her) she used to get drunk and hit on MY bf which I wasn't bothered by because it was so sloppy and like weird and very much clearly designed to make her own bf jealous (I don't think it really worked lmao but I do think that was the primary goal because she stopped doing it when they broke up) but like on the whole it was weird and annoying. And she's ruined multiple parties at my house by getting sloppy wasted so like I say, none of my other friends like her. When she was with her ex, she'd also pick a fight with him or start flirting with other guys and make it all weird for all of us.

I do think deep down she is a very nice person, and when I was drinking a LOT like it was fun to go out with her and also fun to like go to her house (she lives alone post the breakup) and like get drunk and watch dumb shit on TV but overall yea not the healthiest friendship and the point at which she was calling me three times a day just to like complain about work/her other friends being bad friends/her family/her ex was EXHAUSTING. And that also really annoyed my bf because every night I'd be on the phone with her for like an hour and he'd want to watch something or even just like chat and instead I'd have to be talking to 'Susan' and then I'd be telling him what's wrong with Susan's life and why she needed that and it seriously irritated him. You're right, she wasn't good for the relationship. He certainly hasn't missed her but he did feel bad for her after he ran into her in the shops (which is why he told me) and he asked like if I want to reach out to her because she seems like she's really not doing well (but that's unsurprising because in the entire time I know her, she never seems to be doing well lol).

also on the 'sugar' thing I think that's a big thing for HER? Because two years ago when my bf and I went to Europe, she kept saying her bf doesn't "take" her anywhere - not to Europe but not even to the Winelands and stuff but the thing is he has his own business (a physical one???) and he also has two kids from his ex-wife (who obviously Susan DESPISES) and on the money thing she also used to fight with him for "still" buying things like birthday gifts for his ex wife/baby mama and "not just for the kids" and talking to his ex wife every day but I kept being like "BUT THEY HAVE KIDS!???!??!?!?!?" like whatever other beef those two have with one another, THEY HAVE KIDS so OF COURSE they talk every day. And it'd model a hell of a bad example TO THE KIDS if he like "forgot" their mother's birthday. So yeah no I should just continue ghosting this girl because she has brought mostly drama and annoyance to my life but it's still pretty sad because I do think somewhere deep inside is a nice person lol and it does suck that she is not doing well. But also she should probably go to therapy and try figure her shit out because it's not as though I can do that for her.

[ifbrd]

Yesterday I asked for clarity that the one end gag from the original Animaniacs was the only mention of Yakko being lactose intolerant. The reason I asked is because I find it funny that we all saw that moment and said “alright! Yakko is lactose intolerant! He said it himself!” Because that isn’t actually what Yakko said. The exact quote is “I’m allergic to anything with lactose in it!” He isn’t lactose intolerant, he’s allergic to lactose—and yes, there is a difference.

The difference is that being intolerant to a food is a digestive issue, it’s your digestive system saying “um…idk what to do with this…good luck!” While allergies are immune issues, basically your immune system saying “THIS FOOD IS TRYING TO KILL US EVERYONE ATTACK!” Intolerances are usually mild, and allergies can range from mild to fatal.

And I really don’t think this was a case of the writers just saying “allergic” so kids would understand or anything like that. Being lactose intolerant is super common and I think most people, kids included, have a basic idea of what it means. Certainly, if I had to wager a guess, I’d say more people know what being “lactose intolerant” means than what being “hypoglycemic” means.

So if we are basing this entire diagnosis solely off of what Yakko said, it’s probably less likely that eating or drinking lactose makes him gassy and more likely that it gives him a rash or something. Hopefully it isn’t something like his throat swells up or anything like that but that’s also a very common symptom of a food allergy.

I’m not necessarily saying we all collectively change our interpretation of Yakko's medical issues or start writing him as having an allergy, I just find it funny that we all jumped on this bandwagon (myself included, which you’d think I’d know better, having food allergies myself lol) without actually thinking about what he was really saying.

One reason I find this funny/interesting is if he had instead said “I’m intolerant to peanuts” (which admittedly I’ve never heard of, but I’m sure it’s an issue for someone somewhere) we would have instead all had this idea that Yakko was deathly allergic to peanuts and required an epipen. Like we, understandably, associate the problems with the food, not the diagnosis. Someone has issues with lactose? They must be lactose intolerant because that’s what most people with lactose issues have. They have an issue with peanuts? They must have a peanut allergy because that’s what most people with issues with peanuts have. It makes sense that we came to the conclusion that we did, it’s just interesting to me.

The other reason I find this interpretation funny is because while the fandom, at least from what I’ve seen, seems to present Yakko’s symptoms as being more of an intolerance, it seems that the presentation of Yakko’s actions because of his lactose issues, line up more with that of an allergy. The best example of this I think is actually when it’s mentioned in the reboot in the “We Could Try to do it, Santa” song. In the song, Wakko sings “And Yakko can’t drink milk at all, the lactose makes him gassy!” In this line, Wakko describes Yakko’s symptoms as that he gets gas, which suggests that Yakko is in fact lactose intolerant. However, Wakko saying that Yakko can’t drink milk at all, to me, makes this sound more like an allergy. Look, I’m sure there are people out there who don’t ever eat lactose because they are lactose intolerant, but from what I’ve read online and witnessed from friends who are lactose intolerant…let me tell you, it doesn’t seem to prevent them from consuming foods with lactose AT ALL. One friend I’ve seen eat ice cream and another I’ve had tell me she wasn’t feeling good because she brought Mac and cheese for lunch. Lactose intolerance doesn’t seem to stop them from eating dairy at all, it only seems to influence how much they eat. Wakko saying that his brother “can’t drink milk at all” sounds like Yakko doesn’t risk it, and I just don’t buy that if Yakko was lactose intolerant that he would avoid consuming anything with lactose ever. I especially don’t buy this for rebooted-Yakko-“some of us are trying to lay in bed quietly, contemplating the brief nature of our existence”-Warner. If Yakko is lactose intolerant you know damn well he’d take a jug of ice cream and say “haha, YOLO!” And eat the whole thing in one sitting. However, if the issue was that it’s an allergy, I could see Yakko avoiding milk and such, just because allergies tend to be more severe. My friend might be willing to eat Mac and cheese for lunch and risk wanting to sit on the toilet all afternoon, but I am not willing to eat a pb&j for lunch and risk spending my afternoon in the ER. I’m not saying if Yakko is allergic to it he’d be needing an epipen and being rushed to the hospital after consuming (although you angst lovers I’m sure will have a field day with that and I respect this) because the issue could totally be something mild as well. Maybe he gets a rash, maybe his lips feel badly chapped, maybe his throat doesn’t swell up but it does feel itchy, etc. Who the heck knows.

Again I’m not saying we all course correct and make Yakko have a lactose allergy, do what you want with this information. I just had this epiphany yesterday and thought it was interesting.

[winemom-culture]

My endocrinology appointment wasn’t good and I’m sad

My heart rate and blood pressure were both high. These things, weight loss, and my eye symptoms were the initial symptoms of my Grave’s back 2 years ago. So my doctor was like… I think you might be hyperthyroid again based on your heart.

But I don’t really know if my heart is a great metric. Bc like, my heart rate is always high. Especially at the doctor when I get anxious. I told her this, but in order to consider it not related to the thyroid she wants to see my bloodwork (expected) and a cardiologist work up. Which, that part feels a little excessive to me when I don’t necessarily think there’s anything wrong I just have a little bird heart. Arrhythmia runs very heavily on my dads side but it gives them problems with palpitations, I don’t really have those often, just like a fast baseline constantly. When I first got diagnosed with Grave’s my HR could’ve been 130-40 easy RESTING, so I sorta feel like 120 while anxious (what it was today) is relatively better? When I’m at home it definitely feels like normal until I exert. She’s like “You have to stay on beta blocker until you get your heart under 80 bpm” and I’m like lol. No offense but my heart is like never consistently under 80 even on the beta blockers 🥲 beta blockers became a big crutch to me last year and I feel like getting off them made me feel weird even though they are non-addictive I am semi-convinced that’s why I became so hyperfixated on my heart in my big anxiety spiral in 2021. I really don’t want back on them….

The thing I’m definitely NOT experiencing now is weight loss. I did the math and I’m like 80 pounds heavier then when I started going to her in 2020. And she has said that is from the thyroid medicine. Not that the medicine is bad, it’s doing it’s job of blocking thyroid hormone, but in turn that slows my metabolism a lot. I’ve tried to express my concerns about the constant weight gain, the fact that I feel like a ravenous monster, that I just can’t get a grip on it at multiple past appointments and I feel like she kinda brushes that off, always just “so anyways about that heart…..”

So now I get blood work next week for a moment of truth to see what the deal is. If I’m hyperthyroid I have to get back on my meds and probably consider surgery to take it out (that I don’t have time, money or a support system for- because my parents would be against this. That’s a whole other insane can of worms.) OR I am still in a balanced thyroid state but have to go figure out what’s wrong with my heart.

My health OCD is immediately revving up about being alone at my place, like “you don’t want to be alone all the time with high heart rate and blood pressure do you? What if you stroke out and die? Right there where you’re sitting?” Which is funny, ‘cause yesterday I didn’t know any better and was perfectly fine being alone, while presumably in the exact same boat healthwise. Ignorance was bliss

I’m feel like I’m gaining like 5 pounds every time I step on a scale and it’s so frustrating and upsetting, I literally have to get it figured out and under control this year. I’m totally just overwhelmed and don’t know how to start or how to truly stick to it. I cried my whole way home and I’m getting myself worked up again venting this out. Hope I can keep that pain fresh in my mind as motivation. Real meltdown hours. I don’t want all these problems at 26. It’s making me think about stuff down the road, what if I decide in 2 or 3 years I do want to have another kid after all? I genuinely don’t think as it is right now I would be medically advised to try. It only gets more high-risk as I get older. The thyroid and fertility/complications go hand in hand. It’s like, y’know, that’s awhile down the road there’s still time, but I’m 2 years out from initial diagnosis and as of right now I feel much more vaguely unhealthy in a general sense than I did then.

I just wish there were a more receptive endo around here but as far as I can tell from looking in the past, this office is really the best we got rn.

[vampstel]

Hey ho, quick rant cause I keep seeing this discourse pop up on Twitter…

Self diagnosis is perfectly valid for a myriad of reasons. Many people (including myself) can’t get a professional diagnosis due to our income, where we live, our gender, our race, etc. I wish getting a diagnosis is simple but truth be told… it isn’t. This applies to physical illnesses too, not just neurodevelopmental or mental health disorders.

For example, I’m chronically ill. I’ve talked about that a lot on here. I am diagnosed with GERD and have suffered with it for 3-4 years. However, it took me a whole year to get myself properly diagnosed and medicated.

I went to multiple doctors and had several checkups. They all told me I was fine when I obviously wasn’t. I didn’t know what was wrong with me until I took it upon myself to research about multiple gastrointestinal diseases. I stumbled upon GERD and noticed I had all the symptoms. Then boom, when I mentioned that possibility to a doctor, they finally got me diagnosed and I got medication.

Self-diagnosis is one of the first steps to getting a proper diagnosis. Some of us can’t afford to do the next step, though. I personally believe that’s okay as long as you do extensive research on what you think you have.

Afterall, you know what you deal with. I know damn well I’m neurodivergent and I don’t want to waste thousands just to get someone to tell me what I already know. Plus, I’d risk getting my healthcare and privileges taken away.

Just know that not every self diagnoser is “trying to be quirky”. Majority aren’t like that. They just want to understand themselves better and realize what’s wrong with them. No one wants to be ill and no one wants to be apart of a minority that gets oppressed and misunderstood.

And don’t blame these people because “they make real diagnosed people look ridiculous”. We’ve always looked ridiculous to “normal” people regardless. A piece of paper isn’t going to stop that.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. I have more to say but ehh this is long enough lol I’ll just ramble in tags

[the-last-kenobi]

Most of your fics absolutely destroyed me emotionally so, on my own risk, may I request #13 “You shouldn’t be this easy to carry" with Qui-Gon and padawan Obi-Wan? Thank you!

Ohhh I’m happy to write this one! Thank you! (Always pleased to hear I’ve emotionally wrecked innocent people lol)

From this various prompts list.

_

Qui-Gon descended the ramp of his ship with something less than his usual grace, his expression was rather sour. Other than that, he looked his usual self, untidy but comfortable and serene.

He waved to the attendant heading towards the ship, and bowed to a small mechanic droid that squeaked with excitement, ran in circles around him, and then darted off after the attendant.

Qui-Gon chuckled. He paused to take a deep breath, tasting the metallic scent of Coruscant on the air, but also the warm and familiar notes of the Temple, of home. It was good to be back. Tedious diplomatic assignments that ran well overtime were nothing worth dwelling on, especially when it was done alone.

“Master Jinn!” a warm voice called.

He turned his head and saw Shaak Ti walking towards him, a smile on her lovely face with its striking colors.

“Knight Ti,” he greeted her. “How are you?”

“I’m well,” she answered. “I’m just about to depart to Alderaan; it’s a royal wedding and I’m the token Jedi invitee,” she informed him, but there was no offense in her voice. Alderaan was well known to be genuinely welcoming, and had been more than courteous in their dealings with the Order for centuries on end.

“Enjoy it,” Qui-Gon advised her. “Weddings are rarely something you’d like to miss.”

“I will,” she promised. “Oh, is your Padawan around? I was hoping to catch him when he returned, he forgot to sign off on his departure notice and was scheduled for three shifts in the crèche, which he obviously missed.”

Qui-Gon’s head tilted to one side, and he frowned.

It was obvious that Shaak Ti believed that Obi-Wan had accompanied him on his mission, which had in fact been a solo assignment. The twenty-one-year-old Padawan had remained behind for class rotations.

And Obi-Wan had never missed... well, anything. He was notoriously early for everything, beyond punctual. It was almost annoying.

Perhaps he’d finally slipped into a belated teenage fit of laziness, or he’d fallen so behind on class work that he’d forgotten about the crèche. Both would be extremely out of character, but one instance of this in nearly nine years of training could perhaps be excused.

Shaak Ti was waiting for an answer.

“I’ll talk to him,” he promised, revealing nothing. “Thank you for letting me know. I had no idea.”

She waved it off. “These things happen. You have a good student on your hands; he’s easily forgiven.”

Qui-Gon smiled.

~

The door to their quarters opened for him with a casual wave of the hand. Jedi did not lock their doors often; privacy was an understood thing, something not casually breached. No Jedi would enter another’s rooms without first asking permission.

He wasn’t sure what he expected.

Obi-Wan in the common area, reading.

Or Obi-Wan out and about, somewhere off with some of his more trouble making friends. (Quinlan Vos.)

He was not expecting to find Obi-Wan huddled in the corner of their kitchenette, half-hidden in his cloak, knees drawn up under his chin, crying.

Obi-Wan saw him enter and flinched away, shuddering.

Qui-Gon stared.

The entire scene was so unexpected, so wrong, that for a full five seconds he simply stood there, unable to process it. Obi-Wan had buried his face in his knees and was attempting to stifle his tears, seemingly by holding his breath, which was only making him shake harder.

Qui-Gon jolted out of his paralysis and stepped nearer, dropping onto one knee, sensing that looming over his Padawan was not going to help.

“Padawan?” he asked cautiously.

Obi-Wan looked up reluctantly. His face was a sickly grey; his cheeks were bright red and his blue eyes were feverish. They darted around, seeming to fix on nothing.

“Obi-Wan,” the Master tried again, warily reaching out a hand and resting it on top of one of Obi-Wan’s, clenched around his knee.

Obi-Wan took a rattling breath, more tears spilling down his cheeks. “...What... day is it...?” he gasped.

Qui-Gon’s chest tightened with something close to terror. What in all the galaxy was going on here?

“It’s the 29th,” he said gently. “Taungsday. I returned a day late from my solo mission. Do you remember that?”

Obi-Wan’s tears had increased throughout the brief speech. “Y-yes.”

“All right,” said Qui-Gon, struggling to remain as calm and patient as possible. “All right. Can you tell me what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Obi-Wan shook his head, his expression crumbling. Suddenly he very much resembled the boy Qui-Gon had met on Bandomeer, uncertain and frightened, although even then he had not cried. This was different.

“Are you sure?” Qui-Gon pressed.

Obi-Wan nodded, strangling a loud sob by clapping one hand over his mouth. He said something, but of course it was impossible to understand behind his clamped fingers.

“What?” asked his Master.

“...so...stupid,” Obi-Wan burst out angrily through his tears. “I just... don’t feel well.”

“Don’t feel well?” Qui-Gon stared at his apprentice in confusion. “You’re sick? Obi-Wan, why didn’t you just go to the Halls?”

Obi-Wan shuddered. More tears slid down over his flushed cheeks. “I...I...I fell,” he said, sounding deeply uncertain. “I was working, and it was late, and I fell. I think I fell. I can’t walk. I can barely move. I don’t know how long it’s been—”

Qui-Gon was already moving, alarm ringing in his head like sirens. In two seconds he had Obi-Wan in his arms, cradled like a child, his head resting under Qui-Gon’s chin.

“You shouldn’t be this easy to carry,” he said tensely. “You haven’t had anything to eat or drink since you fell?”

“Some... some water,” Obi-Wan murmured. His skin was blazing hot against Qui-Gon’s, a sick and feverish heat. He had stopped crying — his tears seemed to have stemmed from a combination of confusion and shame, not pain — but he seemed on the verge of passing out. “I... I got some water... don’t remember when...”

“Stay awake,” Qui-Gon ordered. He was striding down the hallways, ignoring the few bystanders who watched them pass with bewilderment and concern. He did send a grateful nod to one young woman who raised her comm in her hand at him, asking a silent question, and at his gesture raised it to her lips and murmured ‘Tell the Healers that Master Jinn is bringing in his Padawan. Have someone ready.’

Obi-Wan murmured something vague.

“Stay awake,” insisted Qui-Gon. “Don’t fall asleep.”

Obi-Wan moaned but nodded, forcing his eyes to stay open. “I...I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” The words came out harsh and insincere in Qui-Gon’s urgency, and he realized it, because he dropped a swift kiss to the top of the fevered head in apology. Obi-Wan relaxed ever so slightly.

They arrived in the Halls of Healing and were immediately received by a Healer and his apprentice, who had Obi-Wan safely tucked in a bed and monitored in less than two minutes. Obi-Wan had closed his eyes against the bright light and seemed in danger of falling asleep again.

“Stay awake just a little longer, Padawan Kenobi,” the Healer instructed kindly. “I’m fairly sure of your diagnosis but I have to be more certain before I can administer treatment. Then you can sleep.”

“Yes, Healer,” rasped the young man.

Qui-Gon watched from the wall, his hands tucked deep in his sleeves to hide how they trembled. The shock of the last quarter hour was setting in, and he scrambled to keep his wits about him, worried about what this diagnosis might be. He still remembered Obi-Wan’s confusion about the day, his bewildered tears, and that memory was not going to be going away anytime soon.

He had been far too light in his arms.

Just how long had Obi-Wan been trapped in their rooms, unable to call for help and too confused to figure out a way around that? How long had he gone without eating and sleeping?

He found out.

An hour later, Obi-Wan was fast asleep, hooked up to an IV and blissfully pain-free due to a dose of pills he had managed to swallow. The Healer turned to Qui-Gon with a weary smile.

“You’re all right?” he asked.

“I’m fine. I’ve just returned from a mission, but I wasn’t hurt.”

“That’s good to know. I was asking about shock, however,” the Healer said gently. “I know this can’t have been a pleasant homecoming.”

Qui-Gon’s throat tightened, but he said nothing.

The Healer seemed to understand. “Obi-Wan has contracted a strain of the flu,” he explained, moving past the brief surge of emotion. “As you know, most strains of the flu are easily combated these days and many species have evolved or inoculated to the point where it’s hardly a concern. But sometimes the flu is stronger. In this case, it’s clear that it’s job was made easy. I don’t think Padawan Kenobi was eating or sleeping properly before the sickness began to set in. It would explain the severity of his malnutrition, and his confusion.”

Qui-Gon’s eyes flickered to the bed where Obi-Wan was sleeping, the fever still burning in his cheeks.

“...How long?” he asked.

“A few days at most,” the Healer said. “But I suspect it’s a habit that’s related to stress and overwork. Does Obi-Wan struggle with stress or insomnia?”

The Master hesitated a moment, opening his mouth to deny it, and then stopping to think better of it.

“...Maybe,” he admitted. The hesitation stung. Shouldn’t he know? “He’s very private with his habits when we’re in Temple. He prefers to study alone in his room, and we usually only manage to share one meal a day during his busier semesters, if that.”

The Healer nodded. He didn’t look or sound at all accusatory when he said, “That’s understandable. I’m going to suggest keeping a closer eye on that. Don’t force him out of his comfort zone, at least not right away, but make sure he understands that three square meals — or better yet, a light meal or snack every two or three hours — is expected of him. As is sleep.”

Qui-Gon nodded, his throat tightening again to the point of pain.

“Rest easy, Master Jinn,” said the Healer, briefly laying a supportive hand on the taller Jedi’s shoulder. “He’ll pull through this. The illness, and everything else. I believe it’s nothing more than a bad habit formed from good intentions. There are crueler demons out there.”

“Yes, I know,” said Qui-Gon. And he did know. One didn’t reach Jedi Mastery without learning the galaxy for what it was.

But he didn’t think he would ever quite move past the shock of today, of carrying his adult apprentice in his arms, sick to the point of tears and helplessness, and then discovering that he could possibly have prevented this if he had paid a little more attention to Obi-Wan’s work habits.

Well. They would, as the Healer said, overcome this.

Qui-Gon drew up a chair to the side of the bed, resolving to wait until Obi-Wan woke, and slowly reached out and set his hand next to his Padawan’s. After a moment, Obi-Wan stirred, and even in his sleep he gave a contented sigh and shifted his hand, his fingers searching blindly for his Master’s hand. Qui-Gon took it and held it tightly.

They had overcome so many things in nearly a decade together.

They could handle this.

And besides, Qui-Gon told himself, even after Obi-Wan was Knighted, he would always be here to watch his back.

He would never abandon Obi-Wan.

_

[darkobssessions]

Bipolar Disorder: What does a hypomanic episode feel like?

by Haylen Hatter

"So I used to not qualify for a diagnosis of bipolar II because my hypomanic episodes only last 2–3 days tops. It took me a long time to recognize these states for what they are because they don’t align with the typical depiction of hypomania/mania many are familiar with, mainly in that I rarely get “euphoria” and all things considered they are very mild and short.

I have no idea what sets them off but the changing of seasons seems to have something to do with it, especially around this time of year where we’re moving into fall. I can kind of feel it creeping up and that is making me nervous.

I usually first notice it when I’m trying to fall asleep, my brain will just go go go and I’ll toss and turn but when my alarm rings in the morning I feel fine even though I’ve had like 3 hours of sleep. They make me feel like I am full of restless energy and it is EXTREMELY uncomfortable, like, crawling energy you can’t get rid of that makes you want to scream. Think of the worst boredom you’ve ever felt, how you feel that aching need for stimulation but nothing is really scratching that itch. Or like being ravenously hungry, but for experiences. I need to do SOMETHING constantly but I don’t know what that something is and no matter what I engage in the feeling doesn’t go away. Nothing is moving fast enough, I am impatient, irritable, and quite annoying if I’m being honest with myself. The only things that seem to feel good are socializing, getting drunk, and walking.

I’ll walk for hours just to feel the forward motion. I’m a homebody and an introvert usually but when I’m hypomanic I want to go to bars, talk to everyone, sleep with strangers (very out of character for me). I want to take risks and run my life into the ground. Literally my impulse is to self-destruct.

Self harm happens, cause I want the terrible energy out and any negative thought or feeling feels much worse/more important/threatening than normal. I can drink like 10x more than usual without getting negative aftereffects or even really feeling that drunk.

Eating is difficult, like food is glue in my mouth and hard to swallow.

I have a lot of new ideas and want to be creative so my phone fills up with notes about, like, youtube videos I want to make but never will lol. I’m kind of like that normally though so it isn’t such a deviation from my baseline.

Then the next day I realize I’m tired, I go to bed and sleep normally, wake up and I’m back to normal. Because they are so short nothing seriously bad has ever come of them (knock on wood). Now that I understand what is happening I usually just walk around all day/night because that is the least harmful impulse I have and I reach out to friends who know what is up to hang out with at night cause they’ll be able to keep me distracted and out of trouble.

I don’t like hypomania. It doesn’t make me feel good, they make me feel like my mind is a bullet train and my body is being dragged behind it. Like being stretched really thin. It is disruptive and deeply uncomfortable."

[riverstardis]

asylum:

“dylan you’re only doing a bit of locuming it’s not like you’re being sectioned” “okay okay i’ll do it for dervla” SKDKFKF

big mac’s first shift back in the ed

a woman setting a fire in an immigration removal centre

robyn being big mac’s mentor sjskdkfk

dixie calling iain jeff💔

a man asking dixie to help him die

LMAOO ethan trying to introduce himself to dylan and dylan interrupts him when he’s barely said anything and goes “i’m guessing you’re dr hardy” “assuming from what?” “just something zoe said” and ethan goes “oh” and smiles but then thinks about it like wait…

thinking about dylan saying he’d known ethan for 10 years lol ik he was either exaggerating for effect or just couldn’t be bothered to figure out the exact number of years but still sjskdkd

wait the person who started the fire is meant to be 18?? she looks older ngl

is max jealous of dylan sjskdkfk

AHAHAH THIS SCENE ethan: “this may be a bit sensitive but i need to ask about your periods, are they normal?” the girl nods. ethan: “are you sexually active?” girl: “what?! i’m like 14” her mum: “were you at that age?” ethan: “oh heavens no, i found girls utterly terrifying” rita: “think he still does”

can you believe this man now has a child. like, actual real life proof that he pulled😭😭

i think lily approves of dylan’s methods

ash getting angry at the girl for refusing surgery because she’s a jehovah’s witness

grace has been suspended from her new school lmao

“i thought you liked this kind of stuff, ethan, medical mystery”

LMAO dylan calling connie connie and her correcting him to mrs beauchamp and he looks surprised

she’s asked him to help ethan with his teenage patient

omg ethan suggesting coeliac disease as a possible diagnosis!!

i’m still waiting for the day casualty does some proper coeliac representation though

lmaoo ethan’s so confused because dylan didn’t tell him that connie had asked him to help he just walked up and started asking him questions skskdkf

ash: “i can’t just stand there and wait for her to die” rita: “who? oh jehovah’s witness lady” ash: “it goes against everything i believe in” dylan: “how exactly?” ash: “doctors are supposed to save lives” dylan: “by respecting patient’s wishes” ash: “it’s not as simple as that” dylan: “no it’s very simple. if she’s asked you not to give her blood then you don’t do it” rita: “are you always this cut and dry?” dylan: “yes always” SJSKDNF DYLAN MY BELOVED

ash trying to give her blood by force “a friend of mine didn’t get chance to decide whether he lived or died so you don’t get to throw your life away”😬

he throws the bag of blood across resus and it splatters everywhere

connie telling him she’ll suspend him if he doesn’t go to counselling

the parallels between this scene where dylan goes ahead treating the girl based on his suspected diagnosis before the actual test results have come back and ethan being like but you can’t be sure but dylan’s willing to risk it and last week’s ep where dylan wanted to go ahead with whatever procedure they needed to do on robyn without a scan and ethan being like we don’t even know how big the clot is. glad to see nothing’s changed skskdk

ben harding

connie seeing how important the girl is to her mum and going to pick grace up

dixie scattering jeff’s ashes😢😢😢

dervla ate all the other dogs’ treats at daycare sjskdk good for her

lmaoo ethan, max, and rita talking about dylan. ethan: “i feel like i’ve been run over by a bus. do you think he’s always like that?” rita: “probably” max: “ah you’ll be fine, you just need to man up, mate”

[therenlover]

Songs From Musicals Y/N Would Sing To The Evans

If fanfictions were musicals, these are the songs I could see the reader insert singing to each of the Evans. I understand that this is cringy but cringe culture is dead, pls just let me enjoy my stupid little daydreams lol. 

Warnings: Mild Language, Brief Mentions of Death (specifically su*cide and murder), Mentions of Cancer, Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics

The songs are linked at their titles!

Tate Langdon

I Dreamed A Dance from Next To Normal

Yes, I am aware that I am taking this song way out of context

No, I do not care. I’m looking at this from simply a lyrical point of view

It has all the sad ghost mommy issues vibes

Like, pre-teen me during my Aaron Tveit phase would have 100% associated this song with Tate

I’m sort of half and half on if Tate would actively try to get someone to die to be with him, which is why There’s A World isn’t included, but I can see someone head over heels in love with him considering death as an option to stay with him forever

This song just gives me the self indulgent fanfic vibes

“I'll wake alone tomorrow / The dream of our dance is through / But now until forever love / I’ll live to dance with you / I’ll dream my love / I’ll live my love / And I’ll die to dance with…”

Kit Walker

I Don’t Need A Roof from Big Fish

Kit Walker is too good for this world, just like Edward Bloom

The thought of him being traumatized and having nightmares after his time at Briarcliff? Heartbreaking. But him coming home after his cancer diagnosis? That hits even harder

That’s when I imagine this song would come into play

Sitting and watching him sleep while crying and singing this song

Because you can’t let him see that you’re terrified of losing him but you can’t pretend you’re not

Kit is one of the only Evan characters I can see having a healthy enough relationship for this song, and that hurts

“All I need is you and you forever / All I feel is true and absolute / I don’t need a legal deed to help me play my part / I don’t need a roof to hold my heart,” 

Kyle Spencer

One Boy from Bye, Bye Birdie

A classic song for a classic boy

Pre-Death Kyle gives me very much high school sweetheart vibes

Like this is the golden retriever boy who would’ve given his girlfriend the pin off his letterman jacket

The song also kind of gives me foreshadowing feelings when it says ��one boy to be with forever and ever,”

Like, you loved Kyle. You made him a promise to be there forever

But will you be able to keep that promise after his Frankenstein-style resurrection? Is he really still the same person, or has he changed enough that he isn’t the same Kyle he was before?

Mostly this song is just cute tho

“One boy, one steady boy / One boy to be with forever and ever / One boy / That’s the way it should be,”

Jimmy Darling 

Somewhere That’s Green from Little Shop of Horrors

I have a whole lot of thoughts about this one!!!

Jimmy is attractive, like we can’t deny that, but he’s not really gonna be considered “marriage material” because of his job and his hands

The 50′s are ruthless like that

Imagine, though, realizing that he’s the one you want to spend the rest of your days with despite society’s ideals

Just dreaming of domestic life with Jimmy Darling, that’s the whole post

I know a reader insert would do it to escape the reality of their terrible life because I do it too and I’m a real person

Also, the specific thought of Jimmy doing his very best to be a good dad because of his experiences makes me soft

Also, you can probably think of Dandy as Orin in this scenario, because they’re both terrible assholes

“I’m his December bride / He’s father, he knows best / Our kids watch Howdy Doody / As the sun sets in the west / A picture out of Better Homes and Gardens Magazine,” 

James Patrick March

It’s A Dangerous Game and Take Me As I Am from Jekyll and Hyde

Okay, I know this is kind of cheating but this is my post, so lets pretend it’s not

Relationships with JPM are usually portrayed as extremely balanced and loving with both parters holding pretty equal standing or extremely dark and controlling with James holding full control in the relationship.

These songs fall into each dynamic respectively

It’s A Dangerous Game is that filthy, controlling roll-in-the-sheets song you just need sometimes

It’s also delving into the literal danger

Like, Mr. March is the most prolific serial killer ever. He’s a massive sadist. Being near him while also being alive is a massive risk.

But it’s a sexy risk

Take Me As I Am is the complete opposite vibe while still talking about the exact same dude. 

It’s still a duet, but this one is even, measured, romantic... and all about accepting a criminally insane fiance for all his peculiarities! Perfect!

This is the song where JPM talks about how much he loves his wife lol

Because he might be a psycho, but he absolutely respects and cherishes his wife

“No one speaks, not one word / All the words are in our eyes / Silence speaks, loud and clear / All the words we want to hear,”

“Give me your hand, give me your heart / Swear to me we’ll never part / You know who I am / This is who I am / Take me as I am,” 

Kai Anderson

As Long As He Needs Me from Oliver

I hate Kai Anderson with a burning passion

But this song belongs to anyone who he manipulates into loving and trusting him

It’s just so sad

And it really encapsulates the idea of doing anything for the person you love even if you get less than nothing in return

It’s not healthy in any sense of the word, but it fits

“He doesn’t say the things he should / He acts the way he thinks he should / But all the same, I’ll play this game / His way,” 

Peter Maximoff

You’re The One That I Want from Grease

Who could forget the classic scene in Grease when Danny and Sandy dance through that weird fun house? Definitely not me.

This is another holdover from my Aaron Tveit phase because Grease Live was a masterpiece (it was very difficult to not include more songs he performed, because Evan gives me Aaron vibes) 

I picked this song less because of the actual content, and more because of the vibe

Like, imagine Peter Maximoff learning all the choreography from the movie in his spare time

And he shows off by whipping out the whole ass dance routine with you during karaoke night at X-Mansion complete with leather pants for the both of you

Peter might even let you borrow his jacket as a prop, who knows

It’s just a fun little ditty and it makes me smile

“You better shape up, cause I need a man / And my heart is set on you / You better shape up, you better understand / To my heart, I must be true,”

BONUS CONTENT: Peter Maximoff would sing you One Knight from Wonderland 100% it is just so him please go listen to it

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another thing i wanted to clarify about nuclear power (i'm not reblogging the post a THIRD time because it is SO long) is that... ending the post with "people who support nuclear power are usually assholes" was neither particularly clear, persuasive, nor accurate to what i was trying to say (which was a diagnosis of one person posting edgy takes who had what i like to call "chud aura," in response to a follower who had tagged me to ask a genuine question)

it is possible to hold pro-nuclear stances that i can theoretically respect and work with towards a common goal, although i think, with these people, i would also fundamentally disagree about the purpose of the reactor in relation to building empire, but i don't think they're assholes. usually they took that direction because they really wanted to work towards better safety or regulatory compliace, which is an objective that i can respect, because it is as they say "better than coal," even though the conclusion i have made myself is that all reactors should be immediately decommissioned, because i see the risk of the empire making a successful gambit with waste and the police state as a greater risk over a longer term than the climate crisis

nuclear power does in a sense produce less waste and limit it to a contained area, but this will never be enough to convince me to agitate for new reactor construction when the american empire is running the reactors

(of course this does not lead me to advocate for coal either lol -- the strategy i am advocating is extreme reduction of energy production to mitigate climate, while loudly and explicitly blaming the american empire for the climate crisis that it caused for private profit, as an incremental step towards the aim of ending the empire altogether)