#not even talking about buying your fucking shoelace’s

[comfortableskin]

Has someone already complained about the new store menu because I for sure have some things to say

[popponn]

here and there, about him.

summary: is he perfect? no, just like anyone else. but there will always be something about him. (aka a snippets of one of many, many things he will do for you.)

notes: missing lovesick bllk boys trope for a hot minute while doing other stuffs. short and light stuffs to scratch the itch. was about to isagi and nagi, but turns out self control is still a thing for me. warning: none, just minor swearing + fluffs capital f of smitten boys, chigiri is ready to fight for you. reader's gender unspecified.

characters: rin, chigiri, kaiser.

itoshi rin is very, very much very obvious in his favoritism to you. so obvious that both his teammates and his brother told him to tone it down a little bit. of course, rin only scoffs and tells them to mind their own business (actually he said it more as ’fuck off, cretins’, but details). but, really, no one could exactly blame them. this guy could be in an ongoing tirade about how person a is an utterly pathetic soggy wet trash, then you greet him with a smile and he turns into a cold, suave, rich boyfriend on a snowy winter day. drape his jacket on you, hold your hand, and ’let you hug him from behind while discreetly intertwining your finger with his’ type of stuff. it’s a bit disgusting, honestly. and no one wants to start commenting on how he immediately looks in your direction after scoring a goal. also if he buys something, the only one who has the slightest bit of hope of ever receiving anything is his brother here—and that chance is very miniscule on its own since none of them are you. put simply, it’s a bit infuriating, yet undeniably infuriatingly cute in its own way to watch. especially when there is a very high chance you will be the one and only romance this anti-social guy will ever have. everyone in the team supports the two of you, but by gods maybe please do something about him a little bit?

chigiri hyoma will never let anyone hurt you. it’s common knowledge already that he takes no shit from anyone and ever since he has seen you as ‘the one’, he pretty much already thinks of you as an inseparable part of his life already. so, in other words, that means you have gotten yourself a boyfriend who is ready to become a biting guard dog at a moment's notice. someone insults you? tries to physically harm you? oh, baby, hold your boyfriend back because he is also known to get angry real quick. save his reputation and hold himself back from spouting words that would make someone’s ancestors cry or, worse, from beating someone up. this is a speedster athlete trained by ego jinpachi himself—no one could escape unscathed from something like that. but hey, this is someone who naturally turns into a shoujo manga male lead with soft gazes and flowery smiles the moment you put a hand on his cheek. this is, in a way, just another way for him to protect and make sure of your comfort. also, he needs to have an outlet for the less soft part somewhere other than soccer.

michael kaiser is very reliable and observant, despite whatever persona or deflection he will give you even in the ‘official already’ part of your relationship. this guy has a high ego and puts on an air of someone high and mighty, beyond your league. but everyone all knows if you get to the part where he proudly lets you wear his clothes or makes sure you stay pressed to his side during walks, he is down bad. still, for his sake and maybe everyone else’s, let him take care of you and act casually about it. don’t point it out when he suddenly crouches down and ties your untied shoelaces, keep talking as if nothing happened when he puts a hand in the small of your back, and just act as if nothing happened when he gives someone a ferocious glare while making sure you cling unto his arm. don’t praise or, god forbid, swoon at those. it will only make him get flustered and lose his composure or, worse, get real annoying. he is indeed good at the whole act of service thing, surprisingly, but please do remember his attitude is indeed also in the ‘piece of shit’ category most of the time. just let the yellow and blue betta fish swim at his own pace and let what means to happen in the future, happen at its own time, including giving praises to him without him reacting like a lovesick brat.

[miaoua3]

could you possibly do spicy hc and soft hc for joshua and mingyu??? i came from your tiktok lmao

sure i can! im gonna do joshua now and mingyu later separately so i can organise it better in my masterlist, i hope that’s okay for you!

Joshua Boyfriend Headcanons:

•(sfw! hcs):

according to his birth chart (lol), he has a very hard time feeling the spark with his partners, as well as building the relationship to a deeper and more intimate level, so i feel like for him to have felt the spark for the first time with you would definitely make him fall in love with you immediately and he would be so smitten with you

so so so very gentle, he always has this soft look in his eyes when he’s looking at you, the guys want to make fun of him for it but can’t since they’ve never seen him this happy and in love

biggest forehead kisses enthusiast ever, will do it every morning to you and will melt when you do it for him, over time became something very special and intimate to you both

loves hugs more than anything, at night when he comes home to you, he just hugs you for awhile, slowly swaying with you in his arms to the music playing in the background, he always says that you are his charger, always giving him energy when he has none left❤️

also very big lover of hand kisses, whenever he’s driving he’s always holding your hand, so it’s only right that he kisses the back of it every few minutes, just to reassure both you and himself- you that he’s thinking about you, even when you are right next to him, and himself, that you are really real and his

does this little things that make your eyes water without so much as blinking or thinking about it twice, ie wiping the corner of your mouth if you have a little bit of food left there, tying your shoelaces for you, pulling you to the side so you don’t collide with strangers when you are walking but not paying attention as to where you are walking, standing behind you when you are wearing a short skirt/dress in case the wind messes with it etc❤️

if the flower shops were opened at the time when he’s going home, he would buy you a bouquet every day❤️ so instead he opts for plants that will last longer than a bouquet would and that are just as pretty

subconsciously always pushes your hair away when you are standing face to face and either talking or just…staring at each other, he loves your face so much like everything about it is perfect to him and he could spend hours just…watching you smile at him

would rather die than admit this but definitely bought a bottle of your perfume to have with himself to spray on his pillows when he’s on tour, he just can’t fall asleep without your smell surrounding him, he’s gotten so used to sleeping next to you that he now literally can’t fall asleep otherwise :(

started seeing you and associating you with the colour yellow because you are literally his sun, and he is your moon, he doesn’t exist without you, so he will just unconsciously smile when he drives by a field of sunflowers❤️

• (nsfw! hcs):

feel like inside the bedroom his personality does a whole 180° change, suddenly there’s this dominant and not rude per say but definitely firm joshua, teasing and controlling everything-your body, your movements, even your mind

definitely has a thing for power play, just loves restraining your movements and pinning your hands with his own big ones, turns him on so much knowing that you let yourself be at his mercy

low-key into choking, not too much, just a little bit when you can barely remember your own name due to pleasure, to get you to pay attention back to him

can see him also being into hair pulling, ie when he’s fucking you from behind he just grabs a handful of it and pulls your head back so he can see your face better or well, as best as he can from that angle, sometimes even quickly switches from pulling on your hair to pulling your head back by your neck until you can make eye contact

which brings me to the next point- he’s big on eye contact, for one, he loves your eyes and loves seeing your glossy eyes as he’s fucking you and two, so he can see it if everything is still alright or if he needs to stop for a bit

isn’t into degradation per say, he’s just very firm, he’d want you to use your words always, if you are too gone in the pleasure he will spank you and demand that you answer him

can definitely see him being into cream pies, loves just watching his cum dripping out of you and stuffing it back in with his long fingers, to the point it overstimulates you so much that you start to cry

on the nights where he’s feeling vulnerable however, he will abandon this whole dom persona and fuck you so gently and deeply, will worship your body and mind, will just be all up in your ear and telling you “you are so good, so good to me, my girl, my darling, fuck, i love you so much, love this pussy too, so perfect for me, you are all mine, right? you are my good girl? say it, please, need to hear you say that you are mine, mine and mine only”

LOVES it when you give him a blowjob, just seeing you on your knees in front of him while he’s sitting on the couch, your innocent eyes looking up at him, your hair pulled behind either in a ponytail or in his hand is enough to make him cum down your throat, never mind the feeling of your warm mouth and your tongue swirling around his tip

KING OF AFTER CARE, nobody comes close to him, he will clean you first, maybe make you take a shower with him (where he will do all the cleaning of your body), then dressing you in his comfy clothes because he knows you like his smell and find comfort in wearing his clothes, maybe get you a snack or even cook something if you are feeling extra hungry and then he. wont. let. you. leave. his. arms. he will just hug you and cuddle you and stroke your face and hair and back until you fall asleep, will make sure to let you know that he didn’t mean to go that hard on you, will make sure with you that everything was alright-all in all, he will TAKE care of your body, mind and soul, always❤️

[missmeinyourbones]

ahhh congrats on your milestone leah!! you deserve it all and more!

oh my god all these prompts are so good and you write everyone so well, how can we choose? for your event, may I suggest eren and "this this the first time i've felt the need to confess." or "it's okay, we're the best of friends."

ty for hosting this! I can't wait to see everything you come out with ٩(⌒‿⌒)۶

FIRST TIME I'VE FELT THE NEED TO CONFESS (e. jaeger)

a/n: drunk eren and dd reader, mutual pining but eren is shameless and reader has class, LOSER CORE EREN, reader referred to as "ma'am" once in a teasing context

L’s MIDNIGHTS EVENT!

If anyone saw this situation out of context, it might be funny. But in content—your context specifically—it's nothing less than a headache.

Because you've been saddled with the pleasure of driving home an absolutely trashed Eren, pulling him by his collar to your car as he whines and thrashes with objections.

"One date," he repeats, plopping dead weight into the passenger seat of your car and looking up at you with clouded eyes.

Your response is expected, "Nope."

Eren opens his mouth, but before you can hear whatever bullshit he was conjuring up, you shut his door and walk over to the other side of the car.

Without fail, as soon as you open your door, he's continuing his pleading.

"Just dinner? That's literally all I'm asking for, just one dinner where—"

"You know," you interrupt him as you slide into the driver's seat, "you're a sloppy drunk."

You watch the thought process (or lack thereof) in his mind as he smirks and leans his seat further back, "Drinking isn't the only thing I do sloppy if you—"

"Don't finish that sentence."

Eren's eyes travel in amusement from your blushing and aggravated face to where you turn the key in the ignition and white knuckle the steering wheel. He huffs and kisses his teeth, before defeatedly joking.

"Too far?"

You don't speak, but the glare you shoot him says enough. He holds his hands up in defense and turns his attention to his window.

Silence takes over the car for a few peaceful moments and you don't bring yourself to question it, because Eren not talking is a whole lot better than Eren talking. Not only talking, but asking you out—something he's never thought to do before in the entire three years of knowing you.

Between your own exhaustion and his pathetic alcohol tolerance, you're almost positive you can write it off as nonsense. That is, until Eren opens his big fat mouth up again.

"What if I beg?"

At a red light, you rest your forehead against the steering wheel in exasperation. You hear him borderline giggle as the action gently beeps on your horn.

Your voice comes weak, "Since when do you even want to ask me out? Are you that off your ass right now?"

That changes something in him, because even though he is off his ass right now, he's wanted to ask you out when he was sober about ten times over by now. It's not his fault he's never gotten the courage to do so until now. Right?

"No, fuck no, I—" he stumbles over the slurred syllables as his brain fogs, "I mean, I am drunk, yeah. But I've been far drunker."

Comically, you stare through him, as if he doesn't have a single thought in his puny little brain. When the light turns green, you turn away from him and start driving again, suddenly far too calm for his liking.

"Believe it or not, that doesn't make me feel any better."

Eren rubs his blurry eyes with a calloused hand. "Shit—yeah, I know, okay? Just, hold on. Let me start over, 'cause I do really do wanna buy you dinner and—”

"Why now?"

"Not now," he states matter of fact, "when I'm sober and know where my wallet is."

"No, Eren," your voice is soft now, humiliated. You won't even look at him when you weakly whisper, "Why are you telling me this all of a sudden?"

He takes pride in the way he holds your stare for all of three seconds, before turning down and looking at his shoelaces.

"This is just the first time I've felt the need to confess," he mumbles.

You deadpan, "The first time?"

"Yup."

"There were other times you kept it to yourself?

"Like two whole years worth, yeah," he huffs under his breath. "But I wasn't gonna lead with that because that sounds lame and this makes me sound more manly and suave."

The car hums beneath him when he hears you laugh, and his drunk mind can't tell if it's out of pity or honest amusement, but he likes the sound of it all the same.

Though your words might be meant to sting, the delivery is silky when you tease, "I'm driving you home because you can't handle your liquor. Nothing about you is manly or suave right now."

He nods along obediently, "Okay, sorry."

Turning his attention back to the condensation dripping from the window, he suddenly speaks so gently that you'd think he was sober if you didn't see what he drank tonight.

"If you don't actually wanna go out, you can just reject me already. It's fine."

Now it's Eren who won't meet your eye as you're pulling up to his house on the corner of the street. Throwing the car into park and tapping his bicep, he slowly sighs, a bit embarrassed but too drunk to actually care.

"Tell you what," you breathe, and you're surprised Eren's neck doesn't snap on impact with the speed he turns to face you. You bite your cheek at his desperation and exhale, "If you wake up in the morning and still want to take me to dinner, then we can talk about it tomorrow."

"Yeah?" you swear you can physically see the light reenter his eyes at your simple words.

Nodding, you smile. "Yeah, but for now, get your ass in your apartment and drink a shit ton of water."

Gently shoving him, Eren gets out of the car. In the slightly drizzling rain, his eyes never leave yours as his lanky legs stand up and he salutes in a corny way, "Yes, ma'am."

You reach over the middle console to pull his door shut, but before you can even grab it, he's reaching for the handle and holding it open.

"Wait—!"

"What now?" exasperation crawls from your throat.

You watch unimpressed as he pats down all of his pockets before meekly whispering.

"…Do you have my house keys?"

[archangeldyke-all]

i rlly like if y' do sev as a gf like fluff smut idk how she be

yess here's some gf sev headcanons bb:

men and minors dni

clingy, but pretends she isn't. always touching you, cuddling you, playing with your hair. doesn't matter what you're doing.

if you bring it up to her or tease her about it, she's shocked.

"i'm not clingy" she insists, her chin hooked over your shoulder and arms wrapped around your waist. "you're clingy."

her love language is physical touch. hugs, kisses, smacks on the ass, tugs on your hair, anything she can do to get her hands on you.

but she will always melt if you get her a gift. can be anything-- a candy bar, a pair of fuzzy socks, a pretty leaf or pine cone-- anything. she just can't believe that you thought of her, that you got something for her. the little shy smile you give her when you press the gift into her hands always makes her heart skip a beat.

you have to be careful about when you get her flowers-- because each and every time you do she tries to fuck you on the spot. you made the mistake of picking her up from work once with a bundle of daisies-- the two of you nearly got arrested for public indecency.

in a modern au one of her favorite places to fuck you is in her car. she loves the way the windows get steamy, the way the two of you have to cram together in the backseat, the way the car shakes with your thrusts. she loves to take you to sweet little look outs, stop at a fast food place on the way and smoke and eat and listen to music with you once you get there. it's her favorite kind of date night.

introduces you as "my girl" or "my baby" to other people. every time you meet one of sevika's friends or coworkers, they grin and tell you you're all she talks about. you know it's true because sevika gets flustered and embarrassed each time.

desperate to wife you up. your name in her phone is 'wifey.' she's always talking about how she's gonna marry you, she's got your whole future together planned out. (she had a dream about a month into dating you--the two of you old and wrinkled as shit, sitting together on the front porch of your home, smoking and laughing and holding hands. she knew when she woke up that it wasn't a dream, it was a vision, a glimpse into her future. and since then she's been saving for a ring and a wedding.)

you're the first person she's ever really been romantic with, so despite how experienced and suave she is in the bedroom, the cutest little things will get her stuttering and blushing in real life. it takes her weeks to get used to holding your hand without her heartbeat racing. she's still not over the sweet pecks you give her, sometimes on her cheeks, sometimes her forehead, but her favorite is when you press one to the tip of her nose.

lovesss to match outfits with you. she doesn't think it's corny at all. she thinks it makes perfect sense-- you're together, people should be able to tell just by looking at you. if you're wearing blue, she's wearing blue. if you're in all black, she's in all black. even if you're wearing a color she doesn't have, hot pink lets say, she'll find a tie or hankie or shoelaces that match.

loves it when you paint your nails. insists you do hers too, so you can match.

jealous, but never insecure in your relationship. she knows you're loyal, she just doesn't like that other people don't know that. hates seeing people flirt with you.

you know that tweet thats like 'where whatever u want baby i can fight.'? that's sev.

demands to share clothes with you. even if she can't fit in your clothes, she'll stretch 'em out just to wear something of yours. loves seeing you in hers-- it gives her a love boner.

she gets a lot of love boners, actually. sees you cooking? love boner. sees you sleeping? love boner. sees you reading? love boner.

her phone password is your anniversary

she leaves so many hickeys on your skin that she's gotten into the habit of buying you a new tube of concealer every month. she applies it for you each morning, gently dabbing the cool liquid over the marks she's left on your neck and jaw and cleavage. but if you're not going into work or to see your family-- she hides the makeup from you so you're forced to show the world that you're hers.

[cakerybakery]

Lucifer spun Charlie out in a well practiced move before pulling her back into their father daughter dance. She’s stressed about her and Vaggie’s wedding and every aspect, including the dance, for months. He had been happy to practice every step with her and help make the day magical.

The dance ended and Vaggie took his place. He kissed her hand and Charlie’s cheek before retreating to the parent’s table with Adam.

“Thank fuck, Vaggie didn’t want to do a daddy daughter dance.” Adam was smug since he didn’t have to spend all that time learning a dance by heart to preform for a crowd.

“Oh, are you mad that Vaggie doesn’t think of you as her daddy like the other exterminators do?” Lilith mocked.

From the outside those two couldn’t be more different. Lilith sat up straight, tucked neatly into the table. The model of the queen she once was. She was, for all appearances, perfect. Her hair and make up on point. The outfit perfectly modest for the mother of the bride while still showing off how attractive she was.

Meanwhile, Adam slouched in his seat, perpendicular to the table to face the dance floor instead of sitting at the table properly, his legs kicked out as if he was trying to take up the most room possible. He’d already mussed up his hair. His tie was well on its way to being off, buttons on his vest mostly undone to make room for that third helping of dessert he had, even his shoelace had come undone and he didn’t care.

But Lucifer knew that under that table, Lilith’s shoes were already off. That Lilith was two drinks away from undoing that elegant bun and being just as sloppy as Adam. That even though Adam looked like everyone’s slightly too drunk uncle that the one glass of wine he had was more for show than to drink. And despite his tough talk he was a little hurt Vaggie didn’t want a dance with him, but couldn’t blame her either.

This was the two of them being civil for the sake of the kids.

Lucifer asked a waitress for a bottle of wine. Three more glasses and Lilith could be talked into singing karaoke as the band took their break. Adam didn’t need the encouragement to get on stage.

Sometimes the king of hell just wanted to sow a little chaos.

He topped off Adam’s drink and poured Lilith a new one. Adam eyed his refreshed drink and Lucifer. Lucifer just winked. He sipped it, not knowing what game Lucifer was getting at, but willing to follow to see.

The night wore on, people laughed, ate, drank, and danced. When the band finally broke for their break the karaoke machine was turned on and Lilith was just finishing up glass three.

“You know, I bet, my little lilly of the valley, that you and Adam would sound lovely singing together.” Lucifer nearly purred in Lilith’s ear.

Adam choked a little on his water but grinned.

“Fuck yeah, let’s do it.” Lilith was far less poised after a few and grabbed Adam’s hand to drag him up to the not yet touched machine. Lucifer slipped off to visit with Charlie.

“I’m just worried that no one will use the karaoke machine, Vaggie. Ohh maybe we should go up and get things started?”

“No need, little lady. Your mom and Adam are up there now.”

A song started up that Lucifer didn’t recognize and the turned to listen to the soft rock ballad they were singing.

A couple people lined up to take a turn and Adam got Lilith back to their table.

He’d owe Adam a blowjob or something later for taking one for the team and watching over five glasses of a wine Lilith. He also owed Lilith for unwittingly being a party to Lucifer’s scheme to make sure Charlie was happy. He’d buy her something pretty.

Sometimes you needed a little chaos to help bring order.

[solarwoniii]

na kamden as your boyfriend - boys planet

hcs + ranking ehehe

sleeping beside kamden - 6/10

i just know he sleeps good. like so good that when you see him sleeping you want to sleep as well bc he looks so peaceful.

HE CUDDLES GOOD TOO >< his hugs are warm and comforting and just rly nice to be in.

IK HES RIZZY TOO HE'LL BE GIVING U THEM GOOD FOREHEAD KISSES N EVERYTHING

he looses the other 4 marks bc i just feel like he would be the most ANNOYING SHIT to wake up when it's time to get ready for work or errands or whatnot because no matter how much he sleeps he always wants more 🙄 like he'll keep asking for another ten minutes in bed AND BEG for u to stay with him for that time

literally will not wake up unless you smack him over the head with a pillow. and then he'll be all whiny n shit BOY SHUT THE FUCK UP.

going on dates with kamden - 10/10

idk i feel like overall dates w/ him wld be so nice T^T he wld treat u like a princess JSJSJSJJJSJJS I WANT HIM

IS THE TYPE TO BUY YOU FLOWERS AND PAY FOR THINGS

will have set times every two weeks when he will drop everything to go out with u bc he hates the idea of being too busy to spend time with u

ok quick random things i think he wld do for u in public ; ORDER FOR U EFJIDNJIED (AND HAVE UR ORDER MEMORISED DONT EXPECT TO HAVE TO TELL HIM TWICE WHAT U LIKE), tie ur shoelaces (dead rn), hold your hand when he walks with you, give u head pats, let u choose where u want to go, share his food with you (psst even if he complains with that 'but you said you didn't want anything!!' shit just know he absolutely loves it when u eat his food SO DONT LISTEN TO A WORD HE SAYS), buy u cute gifts that he thinks resembles you.

kamden comforting you when you're sad - 10000000/10

idk if this man has implanted y/n senses or something BUT HE JUST KNOWS WHEN YOURE UPSET AND HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED TO FEEL BETTER

lots of hugs :(((( like i said hes an amazing hugger, that alone will cure your sadness at least temporarily.

will talk to you about if thats what you want to do,, hes the best listener and hes so supportive and attentive to you. he will find any way possible to help you fix the situation bcs he doesnt want you to feel like you're alone in anything T^T

then he cooks you your comfort food and eats with you and then puts on your favourite movie while he gives you even more cuddles on the couch, this time wrapped in fluffy blankets.

kamden apologising to you after/during a fight - 1000/10

WE LOVE A MAN WHO CAN OWN UP TO HIS MISTAKES AND KAMDEN IS EXACTLY THAT !!!!

he is the type to get upset and possibly start to cry when you're angry at him because he loves you so so so much and he would never ever ever hurt you intentionally :( he would definitely hug you while youre in the middle of yelling and say he'd sorry once he notices you starting to get upset as well.

but if you guys manage a whole fight without him apologising then expect it soon, because this man cannot live without you 😭

he will apologise with a gift or a hug or movie tickets for the both of you or your favourite food or something to compensate for what he did. i feel like his apologies aren't that verbal bc hes lwk scared of u and a lot more physical HELP but even so you can tell that he's sincerely sorry and that he regrets what he did.

kamden getting jealous - 9/10

ehehhehehe he would be so cute

bc he struggles with talking to people he doesn't know he will be just quiet and observing the whole thing

but as soon as the person leaves he will be the whiniest big baby 😭😭bro will not allow you to leave his side for the rest of the day and for the rest of the week he will be doing whatever he can to make sure he proves to you that hes way better than anyone else (WHICH HE IS‼️)

will be the happiest boy alive when you tell him that you love no one but him <333

kamden overall - 10372023586492392892732927328/10

kamden is the sweetest boyfriend ever and will love you more than himself <33 you are his world and he will make sure you know that because he doesn't want to have you any other way.

[anna-neko]

I'm terrible at reports, so here's some unorganized notes frm the NYC Dndads live show

--- while having Charleston Chews shaked into hand, "listen..if i can't take candy frm strangers on the street in the middle of the night, why even bother leaving the house"

being complimented on my cosplay, by the most perfect Trudy ~♡ ~ "I've seen you on Tumblr!" -- uhhh... then you must be sick of seeing me by now < beat > -- wait.... if you don't have shoelaces, I don't know what am supposed to say?!?!??

Mad props and shout-out to all the cosplayers and cool nerds ~♡ The jingle bells on devil horns! Ron with their actual work business card! The mofo full giant mascot head Teeny!!

Being given not just a bracelet with lil skulls, but also a hair bow and "proud of you, kiddo" magnet ....im not crying...mascara just got in my eye...shut up

Apologies for goin full autism category 7 because my brain wants to ALL THE COMPLIMENTS but we aint at emoji-keysmash IRL stage of evolution and forget how to words....

WAFFLES vs PANCAKES Absolutely Beth May's lane and why is it socially acceptable to get a stack of pancakes but only 1 waffle. According to Anthony pancakes are just failed waffles. Matt derailed the entire conversation by bringing crepes and french toast into it

--- how in the fuck can Freddie pull off rocking out on the guitar this frellin hard while wearing slides and an Animal Crossing shirt (fittingly, DJ KK)

--- Apparently everyone's first impression when meeting Anthony was "this guy hates me", while Anthony's first impression of Beth May was "she looks sad". Freddie's first impression of everyone seems to be "this person's cool!"

--- Henry dad fact, and Will spent all day working on it: Oakvale is sometimes called The Big Apple...because one time someone found (saw?) a really big apple there

--- Glenn dad fact: the best place to go in NYC is.... the times sq Disney Store. At this point Freddie pulls out a Chip (beauty and beast) bubbles blower, starts blowing bubbles everywhere while talking about how Glenn would just need to figure out how to backwards engineer this blowing action, some tools, a couple wires and it will be a great bong! come on, Mrs Pots is your mom??

--- the adventure tonight was UFC, goin to rescue Paeden's friend Celery! the theme tho, was your inner child voice. All of them. Especially about 4 levels deep as hella high Glenn realizes he soooooo complex u gaiz....

--- Darryl asking how much does it cost to buy a child (300 gold). Then asking how much selling a Honda would earn (400) ......next 10 minutes are spent sorting out exactly _why_ is Darryl not selling the Honda Odyssey .... (its on lease, not fully paid off yet... so they'd only come out w/ 25gold or somethin)

--- UFC WEIGHT OFF! Anthony mentioning how now he can't get that close to her while Beth May is on her knees or he'll be canceled forever...so he's immediately made to gets on his knees too (and they do the angry head bump stare-off)

--- THE SLAP(s) HEARD AROUND THE WORLD!!! (context: instead of rolls... the LOUDEST SLAP was gonna win. Beth May slapped Anthony twice)

--- the smug way Anthony leaned back, kicked his feet on the desk and started outlining how this will go. Oh yes, they'll be using the mechanics he came up with before. For episode 3. But they completely destroyed all his plans back then by dropping pants in front of children.... --- Darryl Wilson immediately takes off his pants and starts twirling his axe

-- Matt counting out monster cards, 29 of them O_o; Beth points out then Ron will only fight 0 monsters and proceeds to roll stealth ...with Inspiration frm an earlier joke...

--- Anthony, "and if you all die...then you'll just be replaced by identical clones and the WIKI can stay the same"

[thelampisaflashlight]

Some more life advice from your Auncle Lamp. Let’s go.

-Dressing the part will actually get you more into the mood to do something, even if that thing is just going to the grocery store. 

There’s nothing wrong with dressing comfortably, but there is a certain point where wearing sweatpants all the time will start messing with you emotionally.

You don’t have to go all out, but switch up your look, heck, you may even feel like getting more things done simply because you’re already dressed for it.

-Clean your sneakers.

They don’t have to be pristine, but if you take the time to clean them now and then, they’ll last longer.

Speaking as someone who had one pair of shoes to wear through all kinds of weather growing up (you never forget your converse freezing to the ground, you just don’t), you need to take care of them.

-That said, shoes do eventually wear out, and, trust me, I’ve been the person with the shoes that are peeling or cracking... do yourself a favor and get new ones.

It can be expensive, but if you get better quality shoes and take care of them, they will last longer and you won’t constantly have to worry about getting new ones.

Also, if your shoelaces are falling apart, you can oftentimes buy new ones at grocery stores, at least that’s the case in the US, they can be found near the sewing supplies in the home goods section, usually around the same area as the laundry supplies.

-Your dryer has a lint trap and you DO have to empty it after every use, because otherwise it will build up and not filter it properly, which is a fire hazard. 

Semi-related note, but also remember to empty the crumb tray on your toaster.

-Clean under/behind your fridge. Same goes for the stove.

-If you can manage it, presort your laundry as you take it out of the dryer if you’re the type who puts it in drawers/the closet later.

It saves you a whole load of grief trying to find that missing sock, and everything is ready to go where it needs to go.

And lastly;

-Oftentimes, the way to get that frustrating and annoying thing done and over with is just to do it.

It’s hard, and I know the need to complain is there, but if you tell yourself, “Fuck this, I’m getting this done.”

Suddenly it isn’t as big of a problem as it was before, because now you’re in control of it.

You are in control of the work that needs to get done, the work is not in control of you.

Same goes for making phone calls. 

Even by making a list of your questions or talking points has given you 10x more control and power in that situation, and it can help ease your anxiety over it.

Clarifying questions or notes are allowed.

You are allowed to do that in real life.

[badgraph1csghost]

I want everyone who replied and completely missed the point to pay very close attention now, because this is why i made this post and you need to understand it. 

People got enough money to donate to AO3, buy crabs and checkmarks from tumblr, and hell even donate to fuckin wikipedia (which has benefactors that aren’t publicly disclosed to the point they have enough money to operate even without the donation drives), but when one of us comes in with the commission info or bandcamp link or just plain old "help me out" post, suddenly you're broke. "Oh you want too much, oh it's against the rules, oh just apply to welfare". Shut up. Shut your god damn hypocrite-ass mouth and stop talking.

You think youre doing even a tablespoon of good over at tumblr with your crabs and your checkmarks and your shoelaces? Tumblr made $68M last year and the way they used that money is to become twitter. Fuck that. "Oh i can't afford it, suddenly i can't afford it." Shut the hell up. All the money you spent on crabs and shit, tumblr was busy censoring another 15 transgirls' fully clothed selfies in that same amount of time. Tumblr intentionally operates in a deficit because no one wants to buy their leaky as fuck Ad-Free add-on and they are doing fuckall to make other money. For one thing, it isn't ad-free if "select partners" are still allowed to advertise to you through it.

I would definitely argue that the majority of users here are queer somehow. Trans, gay, nb, all that, and we all see how the staff treat people like us. Not the public staff who answer the at staff blog but the people behind the scenes. There's no "bug" in the system that's responsible for transwomen's content being censored, that's a human person behind the scenes pressing the delete button because they hate transwomen. There's no "bug" in the system that lets evangelists onto blaze, that's a human person pocketing a very substantial bribe from Moms for Liberty to allow that content onto the site. There's no "bug" in the system that lets neo-nazi blogs not only stay on the website but blaze their crap-ass "reject modernity” memes, that's a human person with a nazi armband in their desk drawer. To say nothing of the fact that "crab day" was the invention of a transphobe evangelist with tradcore shit all over their blog.

And then, you have the complete audacity to try and say you don’t want to fall for a scam. You know who you sound like? USA republicans trying to sell the idea of a voter fraud epidemic. There is no widespread scamming taking place on this website and you know it. You even reblogged those posts telling you what to look for and you still went with checkmarks and crabs. “Oh you’re just trying to scam me.” If I was trying to scam you, I’d link to my fake paypal login screen, not my Bandcamp page. You’re just using strawmen to avoid taking responsibility for your failure to this community.

TL;DR, you had the money to donate to AO3 and buy a useless ornament for your tumblr dash; but as soon as you see a transgirl talking about her commissions, suddenly you're broke. Fuck you.

[zukuist]

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞

200 followers special

includes: multiple characters (would add more tags but.. i reached 30 ;;)

your name is shortened to y/n, they/them pronouns

notes: thank you for 200 followers! this isn’t really going to be that long, but im just doing the characters i really like so ;; ALSO I MIGHT’VE GOTTEN KIRI’S ENTRY A LITTLE WRONG so ugh sorry ;;

—

shouto todoroki

— THE OBSERVANT SIMP

from the start, he’s quite oblivious to certain things, (social ques, signs of romantic interest, etc.)

but when he’s observant with someone, then that totally means you’re special to him. does he realize how much he pays attention to you? hmm.. maybe?

he’s going to be the first one that notices you’re hungry, even if you don’t realize it yourself. he’s quick to grab a snack and break it open to you

same thing with being thirsty— if he notices that your water bottle is empty, he’ll quickly find the nearest vending machine and buy a bottle.

temperature is also no problem. he can immediately tell whenever someone’s cold; but he usually helps you first

too hot? he’s slowly putting down the room’s temperature

too cold? his left palm starts emitting some sort of heat in your direction, hoping it creates some sort of aid

if your shoelaces are undone, and/or he notices that there’s a button undone on your shirt— he’ll fix it for you

will ask to take your pictures on dates, and he’ll also help you pick out the best photo (not that any photo of you is short of any beauty)

in short— people will notice that he’s actually a big simp for you; because of how observant he is with you specifically.

katsuki bakugou

— THE TSUNDERE SIMP

just because he’s simping for you doesn’t mean he’ll treat you any differently. bakugou will be bakugou, and you eventually learn how to adapt to that.

but even so, his simp habits slip out sometimes.

when he’s cooking, he’ll accidentally make too much to eat, and he’ll coincidentally put the extras in another box and hand it to you

he’s a good student, even with studies. but would he say he’s a good teacher? hm. probably not

but if he notices you need help, he’ll sigh, feining annoyance as he decides to tutor y’all, because those ‘idiots’ are hopeless

rolls his eyes when he sees food on your cheek, but he’ll grab a tissue and wipe it off for you— claiming how you’re so messy.

he’ll act like he hates hearing your ‘annoying ass singing’ but he’ll lean against the doorway and listen to you rock out to whatever song you’re singing to.

denki will call him a simp for looking after you, and bakugou will just yell at him to “SHUT UP” >:T

he secretly likes taking care of you. his words aren’t the softest thing in the world, but his actions make up to it.

izuku midoriya

— THE DETAILED SIMP

as katsuki bakugou would call him; he is a nerd

he definitely meant that as an insult, but his input on detail makes it very useful in things like relationships

he remembers every detail of your quirk, your limits, potential secret moves.

it would’ve been stalker-ish, if it weren’t for the fact that deku does this out of admiration for his s/o

so if you so happen to collapse due to overusing your quirk— deku has a detailed plan on what to do. it’s almost scary.

he puts detail in a lot of things, anniversary gifts, birthday gifts, and so on.

deku’s also the type to plan things weeks before it actually happens. like.. planning out the perfect birthday gift

and with this, his memory is really good. so it’s very unlikely that he’ll just suddenly forget anniversaries and birthdays.

i hc deku as a bad cook, so he eats takeout food more than his homemade food

but he’s takes note of your allergies, your dislikes with food— and he finds himself mumbling small details to recall what you like

when you walk out in pretty/good outfits for dates

his face will break out into shades of red— suddenly rambling all the good details of your outfit, complimenting you while he’s at it

“y/n’s looks fantastic as always. i might die from their beauty”

if anyone calls him a simp, he’ll be really embarrassed about it. “me? a s-simp? is that a bad thing?”

just tell him it’s fine.

denki kaminari

— THE HYPEMAN SIMP

a big simp

like.. really big

he worships the ground you step on, and hypes up everything you do

y’all know when irene from red velvet literally breathed in north korea, and the crowd just

*claps*

yeah, that’s denki to you

it’s so blantly obvious that he’s simping over someone, and everyone’s just kinda used to it at this point

he’s just a big fanboy sometimes

whenever you’re sparring with someone, he’s always in the background like

“go s/o!!” 🤩

and he has tendencies to go a little easy on you like.. what’s he gonna do when you get electricuted??

but that doesn’t mean he’s never serious— nah.

there are times where he’s just a little bashful just being in your presence

sneaking glances your way, as he silently fanboys about you in general.

“s/o looks really good today. they always look good but !!”

when y’all weren’t together, the bakusquad was just tired of the constant romantic pining

it was really obvious that he was simping back then, and they’re not so sure as to how you didn’t say anything about it

mina always called him a simp

so yeah!! it was a big relief when you got together with him. he never makes you feel terrible, because he’s always your #1 hypeman.

eijirou kirishima

— THE HELPING SIMP (rip idk what to call this)

i didn’t really know what kinda name i went for this one but let me carry on

kiri upfront is very confident, and friendly. he never shows a mean side to anyone,

and there are rare cases of him being bashful

he’s kinda almost like a golden retriever? since he’s always nice and friendly to everyone

but then when you enter the room; he suddenly goes quiet, and he’s left alone with his rather loud thoughts about you

he didn’t really know how to properly approach you at first

but him being kiri, he’s still rather friendly to you (for now)

when he’s messing around, practically sharing one braincell with kami and sero

and then you suddenly walk in— he snaps out of his foolishness, and greet you with his very warm smile

“hey y/n!” he waves at you, and he hopes you don’t mention the teasing look on both kami and sero’s face

sometimes when he’s doing his close combat training, and he notices that he’s getting too close to you

he’ll be like “woah man, maybe we should move locations.” bc he doesn’t wanna hit you by accident ;;

kirishima prefers to not stand near you when his hair is all spiky. like he’s never conscious about it, until he’s around you

man poked sero with his hair before, and he doesn’t want to do that to you

kiri always looks at your hand, just to see if it’s occupied with something. his thoughts linger to what your hand might feel like

“their hand looks really.. soft. argh! i shouldn’t be thinking about these kind of things in public! im sorry y/n”

bakugou really only notices kirishima’s simping ways

bakugou always mentions the fact that kirishima goes really silent whenever you’re around—

and he’s secretly contemplating on having you around more so he can just shut up 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。

moving aside all of that, kiri always carries your things.

you’ll beg him to give you at least one thing, and he’ll say no because it’s “not manly to let someone carry all of this.”

if you’re sad, he’s the first one to cheer you up— reassuring you that everything will be okay.

kiri’s just wants to be at your service at all times! it’s manly to help people, right?

hitoshi shinsou

— THE DISCREET SIMP

no one would be able to tell that he’s simping for someone

because unlike kaminari; he’s not like IM HITOSHI SHINSO AND IM ACTUALLY A SIMP

he’s a lot more discreet, and no one has really caught on, besides you and kaminari of course

he’s a lot less sarcastic with you, asking you about anything that’s happened instead of just being there

he prefers it to hear you talk. the way each word and syllable rolls off your tongue smoothly, and the way you use your hands to emphasize things

he’s amused.

oh and the way he looks at you? almost any normal person can sense the simp in him pop out (he’s so contained though)

he’s definitely the person that’ll get rid of any bug that’s terrifying you— even though he’d normally just leave it to them

he’ll do it, regardless if it’s the biggest fucking spider he’s ever seen, or the smallest spider

he’ll do it to make you feel safe.

he has these random spurs of compliments during the day

the source mainly comes from his staring habit

and they’re just so unexpected and out of the blue. hitoshi’s amused whenever he sees your reaction to his compliments

like.. you could be really frustrated about something, and he’ll just go “your eyes are pretty.” that’s his discreet method tO MAKE YOU TEMPORARILY DISTRACTED FROM THE ISSUE—

call him a simp, whatever. it’s true anyway so he doesn’t why should he be ashamed of it?

he’s discreet about it, since it’s your business and his business. but you can definitely feel his feelings loud and clear

neito monoma

— THE 180 SIMP

“i’m not a simp!”

[you enter the room]

*nervous laughter*

he had his last laugh, and he never thought he’d be this soft around someone.

especially if you’re from class 1-A like.. i became the thing i hated, ugh.

relentless teasing is amped but this is his way of making sure you remember him loud and clear

but he’ll never tease you in a condescending way— like how he torments the rest of class 1-A

that’s reserved for them 💅

always compliments you, that’s the first thing he does when he sees you—

and they’re never generic compliments either

“it’s nice to see you here, y/n! you make the world better day by day!”

“i’m still wondering what you’re doing in class 1-A, you’re much better than them!”

everyone secretly wonders how you got monoma to like you

monoma canonically likes pastels. spread the word

so sometimes, you’ll walk over to your desk— and you’ll just see this random pastel ornament sitting on your desk

you know who it’s from

whenever monoma starts becoming annoying, kendo will definitely use you as a weapon to make him shut up

he’ll be laughing at the expression on his face, thinking he’s absolutely winning at this

but the smile is wiped off his face when he hears “ok go on, i’ll tell y/n about your antics.”

“no, no! i’ll behave now, please don’t tell y/n.”

class 1-b literally use you as blackmail whenever monoma acts up, and it’s because of how different he is around you

like.. his personality takes a 180, (besides the obvious teasing) it’s alarming

—

©️zukuist 2021, bnha|mha belongs to horikoshi kohei. do not repost my work❕

[tired-biscuit]

THINKING about Kiba.

Kiba, who looks and feels like autumn personified, despite being born in the peak of summer.

Who had always been rather insecure about his teeth ever since he was little, but loves to smile and laugh far too much to hide them.

Whose laughter is so contagious and genuine, that you can’t help but join in.

Who loves animals more than humans, but easily befriends both.

Who always has your back, as long as you have his.

Who keeps pushing you to do your best, especially on days when you feel like you can’t.

Who texts you slightly aggressive, but nevertheless encouraging text messages before every exam/job interview/doctor’s appointment.

‘pls stop with the big sad, my badass gf ain’t some whiny bitch. btw, buy soda on ur way home cos we’re all out. love u. :-)’

Whose expressions are so detailed and profound that you can easily tell everything you need to know about how he’s feeling in that exact moment.

Who smiles real big when the music is extra loud and he can feel the bass surging through his body in booming waves.

Who is so carefree and wild that you’re left absolutely speechless.

Whose eyes shine like liquid gold whenever he looks at you.

Who steals the attention whenever he steps foot into the room.

Who is a free, reckless spirit that cannot be tamed.

Who causes pure havoc everywhere he goes just for the fun of it.

Who is willing to set the very world on fire just for you.

Who believes in you. Truly believes in you.

Who smells rich; like cinnamon and firewood and smoke, that fill your lungs with liquid honey until you can practically taste the sweetness.

Who feels like a ferocious thunderstorm, if it were a person.

Who looks at you like he wants to eat you whole at times.

Whose touch is so warm and thrilling that it feels like electricity.

Who always stands tall for what he believes in.

Whose skin is golden, that it makes you wonder if the sun itself loves him.

Who screams the colour red with just the way he behaves.

Whose body language and assertive bearing makes people feel slightly intimidated at times, even though he’s a dork by heart.

Who will crush the head of anyone underneath one of his heavy Dr. Martens boots if they ever do you wrong.

Who acts like he’s annoyed whenever you poke the dimple in his cheek, but secretly likes the affection.

Who tries to include you into the conversation, and gently nudges you into talking because he knows you want to, but don't know how.

Who notices the little changes in you, because he pays way more attention that you’d think.

Who has no problem fucking you senseless in a dressing room or in the backseat of his car, but turns flustered and red as soon as you post him on your Instagram story or hold his hand out in public.

Who begs you to give him haircuts at home, because he’s too lazy to schedule an appointment with a proper hairdresser.

Who waits for you when you need to tie your shoelaces.

Who just can’t stop touching you. Might it be with his thigh touching your own, or his arm draping around your shoulders lazily; his love language is touch and you best endure it if you want to stay with him.

Who just loves women in general and respects them just as much, too.

Who crouches down whenever he gives a dog head pats.

Who keeps smothering your face in doting, little kisses whenever you’re sad, and refuses to stop until you’re finally smiling again.

Who will always be your #1 hypeman.

Who sings along with you in the car, even though he’s completely tone-deaf.

Who will embarrass himself more, so that you don’t feel as bad, even though he hates to do it.

Who has both of his arms covered in intricate tattoos, and loves it when you trail the tips of your fingers over the designs.

Who acts all cocky and arrogant, but is actually far more complex and insecure underneath all that hard-exterior.

Who trusts you enough to show you that fragile side.

Who never falls first in a relationship, but definitely falls harder in the end.

Who can’t fall asleep if you’re not laying next to him, and thus pouts and whines until you join him in bed.

Who is a charmer of the natural sort, and is flirty as hell with you every chance he gets.

Who fucks you like a beast.

Who gets jealous super easily, but tries not to show it. [And fails.]

Who allows you to wear his old leather jacket, even though he considers it as his holy grail.

Who goes even harder when you tell him to slow down.

Who acts like a fallen soldier whenever he gets a mild fever.

Who is happiest when surrounded by his friends and family.

Who has trouble talking about his absent father, because it still hurts.

Who rarely cries, but feels the ache twice as strong.

Who was always second best, until he met you.

Whose heart beats faster whenever you say his name, and hammers if you moan it out.

Who loves you so deeply, inexplicably - infinitely, but doesn’t know how to show it properly.

Who wraps his body around your own late at night, because it helps him sleep better.

Who whispers such dirty and mean things into your ear whilst he’s pounding into you from behind, but makes them equally as sweet when you’re both finished and spent.

Who loves watching your face when you cum, because he knows he was the one that made it twist in pure ecstasy like that.

Who gives the best aftercare.

Who makes you drink water after sex, because he knows you’re going to need it for the second round he’s got planned.

Who just keeps on pushing, and pushing, and pushing your limits, because he can.

Who is still absolutely afraid of his mother even to this day.

Who dances whenever nobody is watching, because he thinks it’s embarrassing, even though he’s surprisingly smooth on his feet.

Who pokes his tongue out into your mouth whenever you kiss him just to mess with you.

Who hates reading, but secretly likes it when you read him random bits and pieces of a story you’re currently obsessing over.

Who fucks you just with his eyes alone whenever he’s really lusting for you.

Who considers Naruto like a brother he never had.

Who cherishes the people he loves so deeply that he’s somehow afraid to show it.

Who will tell anyone to shut the fuck up and is ready to fight with anyone who’d even consider making fun of you.

Who loves indie rock, but secretly enjoys the classic fuckboy rap, too.

Who is handsome in the most crude way.

Who is awfully clumsy, but pretends he isn’t.

Who groans and is audible during sex, never ceasing in telling you how fucking good you feel around him.

“You feel so good, baby. Can’t stop fucking you... Can’t get enough.”

Who lets his intrusive thoughts win sometimes, but they’re so funny that you’re crying from laughter as soon as he voices them.

Who doesn’t think things through before he executes them, but luckily has you coming to his rescue every single time.

Who never stops trying to impress you, no matter how long you’ve been together.

Who isn’t all that romantic, but attempts to be sickeningly cheesy just for you. [Especially on important dates.]

Who pounds you into the goddamn mattress when he’s having a bad day, until you’re crying and he’s licking the tears away.

Who apologizes for it later, too.

Who is effortlessly funny.

Who turns chaotic when drunk; especially when hanging out with Naruto.

Who pretends he doesn’t care, but secretly lingers in the room and listens in whenever you gossip with your friends over the phone.

Who discusses said tea as soon as you’re finished with the call, trying his hardest not to seem invested.

Who surprisingly hates clutter and mess, and helps Naruto clean his own place whenever he visits. [But not without slandering the living shit out of him first.]

Who loves it when you hug him first, because he’s still hungry for approval.

Who gets super excited whenever you come home after a long day at work.

Whose phone gallery is full of memes and dorky pictures of you.

Who loves to sext whenever you’re not spending the night together.

Who owns the libido of an animal in heat.

Who wants to breed you like one, too.

Who will turn awfully clingy in public if he’s drunk and horny, always tugging on the sleeve of your sweater or resting his chin on your shoulder.

Who is secretly way nicer than you’d thought he’d be.

Who tries to show you how much he adores you with the little things.

Who is so simple, but equally as complicated.

Who loves to make you choke while he’s fucking your throat.

Who will give you the shirt off his back, if need be.

Who is absolutely terrifying when angered, but tries to tame the storm to brew within for your sake.

Whose hugs are absolutely the best.

Who really cares so fucking deeply.

Who wakes up with you on his mind, and goes to bed with you, too.

Who offers you his heart on a silver platter.

Who feels actually seen with you.

Who constantly tries to reassure himself that he’s worthy enough to have you.

Who never felt like he was good enough, until he met you.

I’m thinking about Kiba, who loves you more than you love him. 

And the fact that he doesn’t mind it for a change.

[miekasa]

mie.. i’m going into another eren phase.. so can you pls tell me your fav boyfie eren hcs…

Yeah, why not. I have so many random ones because he is my boyfriend <333 so here you gp

sfw

Eren doesn't actually work out all that often. He’s always been athletic, so his exercise comes in the form of playing sports, but he doesn’t really go to the gym outside of playing/practice.

Loves cake pops, more often than not “treats himself” to one after an exam or assignment, or whenever he feels like it lmfao. He basically eats it all in one bite, keeps the stick in his mouth to fidget with until he finds a trashcan. 

Likes seeing you in his hoodies because, well, it’s his hoodie on you; but mostly because of the size of the actual hood on you. He thinks it’s so funny but also pretty cute how the hood alone swallows you up. 

Grocery shopping with you is one of his favorite activities. He rarely goes by himself—if not with you, then with Mikasa or Armin—and all he really does is follow you around the store and occasionally put some stuff in the cart, but he still loves it. He likes running and then jumping on the cart like it’s a scooter. 

No matter how many makeup tutorials he watches, or how many times he watches you do your own makeup, he doesn’t really understand how it works lmfao. He likes watching it, and he thinks you look pretty if wearing makeup is your thing, but he baffles him how a little tube of concealer brightens your under eye.

Speaking of which, he sits criss cross applesauce either on your bed or on the toilet if you’re in the bathroom, while he watches you do your makeup. Counts the steps in his head, always confuses the contour and bronzer. It’s okay, he’s learning. 

He both likes and dislikes FaceTime. He likes the convenience of it (and will abuse it by calling you even tho you’ve just barely left his house), but he would much rather just go and see you; so he does. Unless there’s something keeping you apart, Eren will make the effort and the trip to go and see you, even if it’s late at night. 

He gets warm very easily, but always has some sort of coat/outerwear on him, even if it’s just a light windbreaker. He usually ends up hanging it over your shoulders or telling you to wear it because you “look cold” when he wants to take it off. 

He walks just like a half step behind you; technically still by your side, but trailing you by the tiniest amount. That way he gets to be with you and watch you, and also steer you away from anything/anyone else he sees ahead while you’re walking. 

If he notices your shoelaces are untied, he gently pokes your shoulder to get you to stop, then bends down and ties them for you. 

His phone case is brown leather, and has your initials engraved at the very bottom in a very tiny, dark green font. 

Likes walking around with you at night so congrats on having your own personal guard dog for Safety lmfaoo. Sometimes you guys don’t even talk; he just wants to hold your hand and wander around, and just be with you for a little bit. 

He is the one putting hair ties on YOUR gear shift and around YOUR wrist. Marking his territory lmfaooo

Learns to like coffee in college, and learns your Starbucks order pretty quickly. He’s got a very small addiction, but he always buys you a cup when he gets his own, so at least it’s beneficial for you. He doesn’t usually have much an extreme sweet tooth, but he takes his coffee with quite a few pumps of syrup and/or sweetener. 

Eren loves hugs, and once he starts getting them, he refuses to go with out them. Back hugs are his favorite, whether it be you hugging him from behind, or him doing it to you; either works for him, both feel like heaven. 

You know when it’s time to head home after a party/hanging with your friends because Eren will drape himself over you and gradually apply more of his body weight the more tired/drunk he gets. Regardless of whether or not he’s sloshed, he’ll still press very light and innocent kisses onto your neck and ears. 

Turns out he really likes getting kisses on his cheeks. It always takes him by surprise; his eyes widen and his eyebrows raise just a bit, but he usually evens out his expression before you pull back, so you don’t see. What you do see is the sorta glazed over, happy look in his eyes, and if you look closely, you might see his pupils dilate, too. 

He actually doesn’t mind reading, he just never thinks to read in his free time. When he does remember, and what he’s reading is interesting to him, he finishes the book pretty quickly—a few days, maybe a week at most—it’s kind of impressive. Then he goes on to not look at another book for a good five months lmfao. 

Asked you what detergent and fabric softener you used on your sheets, then bought the exact same products to do his laundry with. 

He picks you up pretty often. It’s not always tossing you over his shoulder, or carrying you bridal style, but if he needs to get to something behind you in the kitchen he’ll just. Just pick you up, turn, plop you down, get what he needs, pick you up, turn around again, and plop you right back into place. Like a doll. 

Actually very good and very meticulous when it comes to cleaning. Not a single hard water stain in sight on your dishes. Sparkling countertops and tables, your oven has never looked shinier than when he’s done with it. 

Doodles on his notes when he’s bored in class. Doodles on your notes if he’s bored in class and you’re there, too. 

He claims to not get jealous easily, but he definitely does. His methods of dealing with it are either to (a) pout (usually only happens when he gets jealous of someone you’re telling him about), (b) find an excuse to pull you away from this other person, (c) be extremely cold to this other person, (d) pretend to be sick/tired/hungry as an excuse for you to be concerned about him/dote on him in front of this other person (this is his favorite method). 

Will push your phone down/into your face if you’re laying down using it or just scrolling through your feeds. Thinks it’s peak comedy, always runs away with a little shit grin on his mouth. 

He’s always tuned into you, and sometimes physically turned to you, even in a larger conversation with other people around. Finds a way to pull you into the convo if you’ve been on the quieter side, nudges at your side under the table to bother you when you’re distracted, frequently looks at you even if someone else is talking. 

nsfw/suggestive

Eren really likes lazy sex, and it’s arguably one of his favorites; and for someone who’s not a morning person, he sure does like morning sex. He does this thing where he wakes up at like eight in the morning, starts feeling up on you, and eventually very lazily fucks you before you even have the chance to say good morning, then crashes and sleeps for another two hours. Sometimes he doesn’t pull out. 

Always gets hard when you do try on hauls of the new clothes you’ve bought; whether it be via FaceTime or in person. You could be showing him your new sweatpants, and he’ll still find it sexy. 

Can and will find time to grope you whenever possible. Getting water from the kitchen means you’re getting your ass smacked while you open the fridge. Putting on your shoes also means you’re getting your ass smacked when you bend over. Standing around debating on what to wear for the day means he’s coming up behind you to put his hands on your boobs. Doing your skincare routine in the bathroom means he’s got his hands on your hips squeezing at your skin. 

Likes being bitten. Will tell you to bite him; he’ll lean down while he’s fucking you, smile wickedly when you grab and claw at his back, and you’re gasping against his shoulder, “Wanna hurt me? Go ahead, baby, do your worst.” 

He loves making out with you, even if it doesn’t lead to sex; actually, sometimes, he prefers it that way. You make his head spin just by kissing him, and there’s a special kind of bliss of just rutting against each other without fucking that he loves. 

Lovesssss taking mirror selfie’s with you on his lap and your back to the mirror, especially right after sex. Your head resting on his shoulder and he just barely murmurs, “Stay right there, don’t move.” Might start a collection of pics like that.

Tugging on his ear acts as encouragement, but somewhat surprisingly, that sole action doesn’t necessarily turn him on; it doesn’t turn him off, and he likes it, but it’s more... soothing? than sexual to him. What you should do instead is put your hand on the back of his neck/touch the hair near his nape. 

He could have done all the work, but will still wrap you in his arms and kiss your head and tell you how good you are, how good you were to him. He really does think you fucked him 9/10 times and takes pride in it too lmaooo

Holds your jaw open with one hand, presses the index and middle fingers of his other hand against your tongue, and watches your spit pool around him. He exhales slowly at the sight, moving his fingers around to coat them evenly before pulling them out of your mouth and separating them; watches a thin line of spit connect them and groans. 

Holds you jaw a lot, actually: when you’re kissing, when you’re blowing him, when he’s on top and fucking you, when he’s fucking you from behind, he’ll pull you up with one hand, use two fingers and turn your head to the side so he can kiss you. 

It’s him that kinda loses it first most of the time; that gets that fucked out, hazy look in his eyes, that makes everything feel like too much so his head drops to your shoulder and he resorts to biting at your neck to further stimulate you. 

Likes sucking on your tongue when you kiss. Falls in love with you all over again on the spot when you do it back to him. 

You could just barely put your hands on him and Eren will groan, mutter about how you’re so sexy and how badly he wants to fuck you. Could just lay back with your chest heaving from kissing him and he’s got hearts in his eyes and his dick is hard. 

[sunflowerharrington]

Hey babe <3

Soft Kai headcanons? No rush

Love you

firstly, i love you too babes!! <3

wc - around 740 i think

notes - sorry not sorry xoxo

warning(s) - tw mention of murder, and also kai anderson obviously, one mention of lingerie

here he is, the main man of this post himself. mr kool kid with a k 😎

girlies, gays and theys, welcome to my unhinged headcanons about (blue-haired) kai anderson that are true because i said so and what i say in this post goes :)

~ and also because i’m having a moment of absolute “what the fuck-ery” right now for no reason. i’m taking absolutely no criticisms here, thank you :) ~

— still can't tie his fucking shoelaces

— manchild

— has posters of himself all over his bedroom, because what absolute madlad doesn’t?

— puts on a fucking performance in the shower. i’m talking christina aguilera here. i’m talking beyoncé and rihanna. not their songs but he goes above and beyond singing in the shower, and you’d find that so cute if you caught him

— …but it’s ONLY when he’s alone, or so he thinks sometimes

— is a pro at the google dinosaur run game that comes up when there’s no internet available

— would low-key do this when alone, like completely completely alone; vibing to doja cat while he’s working out at the gym. and wrecking ball by miley cyrus.

“…call him ed sheeran he’s in love with my body, they say i just got a buck yeah get into it, yuh. pop out with a truck— WHAT THE FUCK HARRISON? NO, I'M NOT LISTENING TO THAT SHIT. IT’S A SONG ABOUT WORLD DOMINATION!! NOO, IT'S NOT BY A GIRL! bitches can’t sing, my child.”

— […britney spears…👀]

— can almost instantly hack into somebody’s phone, laptop, tablet or any other sort of technology HAHA NERD

— small dick energy but has a fucking sledgehammer

— “…don’t listen to rap music!” listens to it. probably kanye west, because who doesn’t love yeezus? i mean kai thinks he’s god, kanye thinks he’s jesus… i’m trying to make a point here but it’s not working help 😭🫠

— also looks on facebook for hot single moms to fuck. preferably milfs

— “he’s cooooraliiine!” 🎶

— (totally bought some of belle delphine’s bathwater when that was a thing 🤭)

— had a bowl cut when he was a lickle baba and, like everyone in the world ever except jeff pfister and mutt nutter, absolutely hated bowl cuts

— “lost his virginity” to a pillow. not really, but that’s what i think

— is a pro at mario kart and can beat anyone at it, except me. i’m a champion at that game, i swear it babes

— commitment issues

— *whispers* daddy issues…

OKAYY I'M DONE WITH THE UNHINGED ONES, here’s some soft!kai headcanons for my love, meg :)

— brushes your hair sometimes, and braids it

— you’re sitting on the floor on a cushion between his legs as his fingers dance through your hair, braiding away the strands of hair from around your face…

— throws temper tantrums but sometimes if he’s feeling like a human he’ll let you run your hands through his hair to calm him down

— thinks your massages are fucking deadly when you do them (deadly means good. it’s just the kind of slang i use)

— takes you out on dates every so often and steals some of your fries if you get fries, but you think it’s cute because it’s so obvious he’s doing it

— he will fall in love with you if you like mountain dew and cheetos, absolutely no hesitation. he’d never admit it though

— and if you have the same views as him, god, you’re his for life

— likes to have you sitting on his lap during cult meetings sometimes to show the other men and women that you’re his number one, though he does preach about equality

— also will not hesitate to murder anyone who tries to hurt you (except winter. if winter ever hurt you [which imo i don’t think she would on purpose] then kai would say it’s your fault, but other than that…)

— if he’s feeling extra nice he might buy you a gift or something; and by that i mean either some lingerie or something that could be put on you to make you appear even more sexy in his mind. he buys it for you but really it’s for him. but it’s the thought that counts!

— and might even call you mrs anderson during a cult meeting to see how you’d react, though he’d never want to marry anybody, he still considers the thought of it

— nicknames for you include; his angel, his little lamb, his princess, his goddess (if he’s feeling a lil spicy). always has to have ‘his’ in front of it, though. you are his, after all

— matching tattoos? matching tattoos. maybe one on y’all’s pinky fingers to signify a deeper, more emotional connection— according to kai

okayy, i’m done for now but i might come back and add more tomorrow it’s currently like almost 3AM and i am KNACKERED, babes

@xxlangdon @sympathyforher @unlivingdreams @quickiesgirl @langdon-cumslut my lovelies

[kechiwrites]

katsuki, izuku, and shouto as types of doting dads

🌿 gender neutral!reader

🌿 sfw drabbles, lots of domestic fluff under the cut, 

🌿  warning: bakugo swearing, of course

🌿 w.c: 1.2k (approx. 400 each) 

🌿 a/n: thank u to my angel @mindninjax​ for naming katsu’s tiktok. sorry about the formatting, tumblr hates me.

katsuki

Bakugo’s kids are not spoiled, fuck you for even insinuating it.

Bakugo’s kids get what they need.

And what they need is a four tier bento box, every school day.

Insulated, of course, because “they aren’t fucking animals.”

And what starts as Bakugo just being a very attentive father, grows into you recording him coming home from his early morning run and grumbling while he puts on the frilly, lemon yellow apron your kids got him for Christmas two years ago, which grows into him carefully arranging a camera setup over your kitchen countertops, “because you’re the shittiest director alive, dumbass.” Which leads to the tiktok account dine-amight, where Bakugo uploads his intermediate-level character bentos, full to bursting with perfectly seasoned rice balls shaped like All Might and Hello Kitty, star and moon shaped fruits and veggies and occasionally, when your kids beg for them, Bakugo’s famous rainbow mini pancakes.

And of course a pro-hero with a reputation like Bakugo doing anything domestic is worth coverage and acclaim, blowing the account’s followers into the hundreds of thousands in a week.

In fact, people are shocked that Bakugo can even find the time. But he’d do anything for your kids, do anything to see them bring home empty bentos, bragging about all the kids drooling over their lunches that day. Anything to watch their missing tooth smiles when he asks how they were.

And if that means a couple of extra grocery trips at the end of the week and really early morning runs and gentle kisses on your forehead while you mutter and shift in your sleep before he starts the rice cooker, then so be it.

“Katsuki, they are not going to eat caviar. They do not need caviar.” Honestly, you were less surprised he was dropping it in the cart and more surprised your local supermarket even carried it in the first place. 

“They’ll eat whatever the fuck I give them.” He bites, pushing the cart just shy of too fast through the aisle, head swivelling back and forth for god knows what else. An elderly woman casts your husband a dirty look as he just barely swings the metal buggy to avoid her, to which Katsuki helpfully spits “Keep it movin’, hag!” 

“They’re 10!” 

“Doesn’t mean they need to choke down dry ass chicken nuggets and grape juice all day.”

izuku

Birthday party dad, the absolute worst party dad. Thousands of dollars on his kids’ birthday parties. Princess parties, pirate parties, any theme your kids can gurgle about liking and Deku has pulled out his tablet and is putting a pinterest board together before you can remind him that the twins’ birthday was two months ago. 

“We can get an early start on next year. What’ll you think it’ll cost to turn the pool into an ice rink?”

          “My sanity.”

        “Don’t be dramatic.”

Gets almost ridiculously bitter when the family across the street throws an All Might themed party when he knows, he fucking knows, they overheard him talking about throwing one for the boys months ago, But he is not changing his plan. Naw naw naw, your kids are gonna get their All Might party, they’re getting the All Might Party. Every single attendee is getting a vintage, tin All Might lunchbox stuffed to bursting with All Might merch; toys, branded candy only released in Sweden, keychains, those little retro bubble charms, anything he can cram in there. The yellow, red and blue bouncy castle he rented rivals the size of your house. And then, because there is not a soul on the planet pettier than your husband, he forces every pro hero he’s ever known to get in costume and take photos with the kids. He makes the one with the twins your yearly christmas card, then hand delivers it to the family across the street.

In October.

You bake apology pies for weeks.

“You know this is ridiculous right? Deku, she’s 2” you stress the number, pinching the bridge of your nose. “She isn't going to remember any of this.”

“I'm not listening, I didn't hear that, I am busy putting little princesses on cupcakes, a task you said you would help me with.” He’s grinning when he turns to you, and when you hold out your hand, he places a piping bag full of baby pink frosting in your open palm. 

Together you hunch over the kitchen island to ice and decorate twenty-four strawberry vanilla cupcakes, nudging and snickering at each other’s lopsided princess figures until the two of you are smearing icing on skin and tossing edible glitter into hair.

shouto

You know those “girl dads”? That’s Shouto. He takes her everywhere, takes pictures of everything that little girl does. School plays, holidays, playdates, you name it and there’s a dedicated, timestamped album that Shouto is begging to show every visitor, mailman and coworker. 

He prints them out, and maintains an instagram account filled with his favourite daddy-daughter moments, updated. daily.

Nevermind that he hasn’t used his own personal account in 9 years.

His favourite thing is buying and wearing matching outfits, carrying her in one arm. “Yes, I know she can walk, she’s very talented, she can do anything. She just likes to be as tall as daddy is.”

Whenever he picks her up from school, your husband slides her sweet little coat on and gently secures her into her car seat, right where he can see her when he looks in the rearview mirror. Then, Shouto drives your daughter wherever she wants to go. 

Wherever.

If it’s the zoo, they’re going, and they’re coming back with a gigantic, stuffed red panda to add to her own (not so little) plushie zoo at home. If it’s Starbucks, she comes toddling through the front door holding a VENTI, frozen hot chocolate frappuccino (no coffee, of course) and a brownie. Shouto asks them to make it special, he would never let her handle anything too hot.

“Shouto, stop. You’re gonna rot her teeth, she can’t even finish that.” Which is totally true, the cup’s as big as your daughter’s head. Not that she seems to mind, the way she hefts it up for you to see from the entryway while Shouto undoes her glittery blue shoelaces.

“I’ll finish the rest.” He shrugs, picking her up and plopping her down on the living room couch next to you, pressing a light kiss to the top of your head before shuffling off to hang up their identical winter coats.

He doesn’t even like chocolate.

“Why would she need a iPad?” You grab Shouto by his shoulders and make him look at you. 

“For…school.” His voice is quiet and subdued and you almost feel bad...before you remember your husband is clutching an $800 tablet he intends to give your 6 year old kid to his chest in the middle of an electronics store.

“Baby...she’s in elementary school…They aren’t even using calculators yet.” You try to pry the package out of his grip, steadfastly ignoring the gentle downturn of Shouto’s mouth at the development. 

“She’s very advanced for her age.” The frown is a full on pout by now and you shut it down as quick as you can. 

“No. Uh uh. Put that bottom lip back in. Then put the tablet back.”

It’s wrapped in shiny purple paper by December 19th.

🌿 join my taglist here 🌿

[lebenspurpur]

What about how would slashers propose their s/o? :3

How would the slashers propose:

Michael Myers

Michael wouldn't.

As funny as that sounds, I'm pretty sure Michael doesn't understand marriage and its concept at all.

After all.. who'd marry you? A deranged serial killer and his spouse.. pretty difficult to find a priest for that kind of couple.

If anything, he'd propose to show that he cares. Michael isn't the best at showing emotions and a proposal would be his personal way of showing that he does adore you.

It would probably be nothing big though. He'd just hand you a stolen ring and then march off, leaving you alone with your confusion.

Are you ever getting married? Probably not but he'll wear a ring similar to yours if you'd like.

Vincent Sinclair

Oh, Vincent will try his hardest to be as romantic as he can be.

Dozen of candles, hundreds of roses, and he'll actually wear an old suit he found in Bo's wardrobe!

His brothers will be out of town, driven out by your big lover.

He'll make dinner for you. It might taste a little interesting, considering his below-average cooking skills, but hey the idea alone is so adorable.

After dinner, he'll sink down on one knee and you just freeze.

He's super nervous too! What if you don't want to marry him? What if he's too fast and you're not ready for that commitment yet?

The ring will be from a victim but he polished and perfected it himself. He'll design it like his knives, dragons wrapping around the gemstone in the middle.

As soon as that "yes" leaves your lips, he inflates, probably ready to pass out.

Bo Sinclair

Bo.. doesn't necessarily want to marry.

But he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, that's for sure.

You're something he doesn't deserve and yet you're here, with him.

Bo won't be as romantic as his twin, that's not really his strategy.

He'll most likely blurt out his proposal while he's watching TV and make it seem like the most normal thing ever, even though he's frightened on the inside.

If you ask him what he said, he'll repeat it real quietly and you swear he's turning red.

Say yes and Bo will actually flash a big grin, a real one, not his usual smirk, finally pulling you closer to seal his lips with yours.

He can't believe someone would marry him but you wanted to, and he'd always deem that a miracle.

Lester Sinclair

Oh god, Lester will be so nervous.

He has everything: the ring, a nice suit, a romantic dinner but what if he fucks it up?

He even wrote a note containing a few words of his "speech" so he won't forget it.

So it's after dinner and he kneels down, nearly tripping on his open shoelace, and.. uh fuck what'd he want to say???

He can't find his note! Lester is now panicking.

Your reassuring smile grounds him again and he somehow manages to finish his proposal without fainting. How? Lester doesn't know, he has no recollection of what happened.

The ring will be from a victim but he got Vincent to make it prettier. He feels really bad about it as well, please tell him that that's okay!

Baby Firefly

Oh, Marriage? A big, pretty white dress? Sign her the fuck up.

Okay, being with you for the rest of her life is really nice as well.

She's probably talking to Mama when the subject first emerges and she just freezes in excitement.

She's soon skipping down the stairs, calling out your name.

"Y/N LET'S GET MARRIED!"

You don't even have a choice, she will marry you whether you like it or not.

I doubt that she'll even ask you the question, it'll just be a determined "We're getting married." and she's gone again, probably planning for the wedding.

A ring will be there though. She probably stole it but oh well.

Otis Driftwood

Marriage? *Insert him scoffing.*

Yeah no, he's too edgy for that.

However, he is down to invent his own kind of marriage for you.

But you're not getting a ring, oh no.

Otis is showing up with a collar. And it has his name on it.

After he's given it to you, he'll just hold a 15-minute speech about how you belong to him and how this collar will show everyone.

If you say yes afterward he'll be confused. This wasn't a question.

Billy Loomis

Oh Billy has it all planned out... and it can go both ways.

It's either a super romantic, high-school sweetheart-like proposal with flowers, a cute ring, balloons, and all that boring stuff or...

He dresses up as Michael Myers and jumps out at you, scaring you to death, just to hold a ring and propose to you.

I can see him totally scaring the shit out of you the whole evening just to make your proposal a special one.

Stu also helps him which makes you question which of the two you're really marrying.

Stu Macher

Stu will propose in his own way, to be frank, everything he does is done in his own way.

He'll be quite sweet actually, taking you out on a Ferris wheel to ask the question.

He's serious about the whole thing but he doesn't quite show it.

He makes it seem as if this whole thing does nothing to him so you can't see how nervous he is.

After you say yes he'll still act cool but the shake in his voice gives him away.

If you cry, he'll tease you for years so be careful.

Brahms Heelshire

The only idea Brahms has of proposal and marriage is from the books he's read. And those are either porn magazines or some old romance novels from way before our time.

He'll wear a suit. You don't even know where he got it from, it's astonishingly old.

There's no dinner or anything, Brahms can't cook and after all, that's your job.

He'll give you flowers though!

And his grandmother's proposal ring that he found somewhere in the mansion. He just can't buy his own so he has to improvise.

If you say yes he'll smile excitedly and jump into your arms. He's not getting off too, you have to carry him now.

Sometimes he forgets how tall he is.

Thomas Hewitt

Thomas will marry you pretty early into the relationship.

After all, his family is very religious and you know what they say, no sex before marriage kids. I doubt that Thomas will obey that rule but let's pretend-

Luda will help him with everything he needs, she'll even get Hoyt and Monty to leave the house with her for a night so you two have some privacy!

Thomas will be very nervous and you very confused. Thomas never stopped working unless it was something important.

You'll eat and have a nice time, you can finally spend some time with your lover and this time, not in the basement. He even takes his mask off, just for you.

After dinner he'll clear his throat and actually say the whole proposal out loud. This is important and Thomas doesn't want to ruin this just because he doesn't want to talk.

He could never ruin anything but he's insecure like that.

If you say yes he's going to grin brightly and just pick you up, spinning you around until he actually kisses you, once again feeling so grateful for you in his life.

Josef

Marriage isn't that important to him so he takes a while to even think about that idea.

Of course, a life filled with you is absolutely amazing in his opinion but he trusts that you won't leave him, with or without a promise binding you to him.

After a bit of thinking, he decides to do it just for the gesture.

He'll buy a ring that he thinks fits and then plan a nice dinner with a few candles, red wine, expensive food, all that shit.

Josef is an amazing cook so that food will be to die for.

After eating, he'll intertwine your hands with his and look into your eyes, quietly bringing up the whole idea of marriage.

If you seem interested and I mean positively interested, he'll pull out the ring, surprising you like always.

Say yes and Josef will get quite emotional, never did he think someone would actually marry him.

He might cry but one word about that and you'll get the silent treatment.

you'll get a gif, as a treat

Amanda Young

Marriage? Uh, not for her.

Amanda hates the whole idea of marriage, stupid love-sick couples marrying just to break up and divorce a year later, leaving children to grow up in an environment that's shaped by isolation and abandonment.

However, she's not against a ring to show that she's never going to leave you.

Amanda will make one for you, yes you heard me, make.

It's so important to her, anyone else but her would fail her.

It takes a while but seeing your happy tears after she gave and explained it to you makes everything worth it.

She'll often admire it, sitting so perfect on your finger.

You're hers and hers alone.

You can't see it but she's smiling.