#Lamp rambles

[thelampisaflashlight]

Thinkin' about ghouls being mistaken for angels whilst lurking around hallowed grounds, because their glamours don't translate well/fade or are destroyed when touching things that are considered "holy".

Something, something, an ethereal, winged figure, bathed in light, the halo... shockingly dim and shadowed, but, strange, there's this gap where the light spills through, and... Oh.

Oh those are horns.

Yeah, that's a demon.

Do you see the vision?

[thelampisaflashlight]

Psaltarian, entering Copia's office: "Your mother's ghouls keep showing up in the mausoleum and-" Copia, putting down his paperwork: "Seestor-Mother had ghouls?" Psaltarian, holding a whimpering Cowbell and Special by the ears: "Who did you think these two belonged to??" Copia: "The old bastard?" Psaltarian: "No, no, Nihil's ghouls were inherited by Primo." -shaking his head- "At any rate, these two keep trying to climb on top of the coffin and sleep on it, so you need to invest in better locks." Copia, looking at the ghouls: "Why would they do that?" Special, sad: "We miss her..." Cowbell, poking the tips of his fingers together: "...Hungry-" All: "NO!"

[thelampisaflashlight]

Swiss, being cocky: -teasing Cumulus about her height- Cumulus: -gestures for Swiss to lower himself down onto her level- Swiss: -does so expecting her to whisper something- Cumulus: -motioning for him to drop down further- Swiss, gets on his knees, smirking: "Finally seeing eye to-" Cumulus, tipping his chin up, glaring down at him: "The next time you try and act all high and mighty, remember how easily you dropped to the ground without me having to say a single word. I'm the one in charge here, talk down to me again and I'll make your nose touch the ground." Swiss, actually intimidated: "Oh. Oh damn, okay-"

[thelampisaflashlight]

Dew, snuggled up in bed: "Little spoon... big spoon... No, I'm the knife left between them by an uncaring housemate, who just wants the lease to be up so they can get their deposit back, but my lord we are making it work." Rain, holding him from one side: "You're not a knife, love, you're definitely the little spoon." Aether, nodding: "Can confirm, the littlest spoon that ever did spoon." Dew: "Traitors, both. Deceit lies upon either pillow, and I shan't abide such treachery-" Aether: "Oop, brought out the theater kid side." Rain: "You only talk like that when you're embarrassed." Dew: "HERESEY!"

[thelampisaflashlight]

Dew, standing in front of a projector screen: "Everyone's always curious about the abbey's history, so I figured I'd throw together a little slide show to explain what we know about the place." -clicks to the first slide- "As we can see here, we have a sketch done in charcoal by one of the monks who resided on the land back in the early 1500's and... Huh." Mountain, sees Dew looking at him: "What? What is it?" Dew, pointing at one of the builders in the background of the sketch: "Does that look like Mount to you guys?" Everyone, turning: -looking at Mountain and then back at the slide, then back to Mountain- Mountain, arms crossed: "What? A man can't have had a life before?" Dew: "Bitch, how fucking old are you-"

[thelampisaflashlight]

Aether, consoling Aeon after he learned how Dew joined the band: "Let's look at it this way; You ever see a cat that needs a home? Do you ask the cat's permission before you go, 'Imma give it a little salami and take it with me'? No, no you usually do not. You just grab that cat and you bring it with you, maybe give it a little bath in some flea treatment, give it a silly name and call it a day." Aeon, taking a deep breath: "You're not wrong but..." -pauses, thinking- "Wait, are you saying Dew had fleas-" Dew, shouting from the kitchen: "I did not have fleas!" -mumbling- "...Did have that weird rash though..." Aether: "You DID have that weird rash though..." Aeon: "...I feel like this is all a bit TMI." Cumulus, from down the hallway: "Get used to it, baby boy, the walls are thin! ...Also it's not kidnapping if you go pspspsp and the other party goes 'merp merp?' like a little goober and willingly comes along." Dew: "I DID NOT MERP MERP! ...I meep meep'd, how dare-" Aeon: "This family is a fucking nightmare."

[thelampisaflashlight]

Dew, looking down the stairwell: "Huh." Aether, walking by: "What's so interesting?" Dew, pointing: "Aeon fell down the stairs, and the rhythm his body made hitting the steps sounded like Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani." Aether, running to the banister, looking over, horrified: "AEON?! AEON, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!" Aeon, on the ground, gives a thumbs up: "I almost got it right this time!" Aether: "WHAT???" Dew: "He said he almost got it right this time. This is his ninth trip down." Aether, flabbergasted: "Oh my fucking..." Aeon, bending backwards and standing up like nothing is wrong: "Tenth time is the charm as they say!" Aether, panicking: "No, no, no! Stay down, stay down! I'll be right there-" -trips- "Aw fuck!" Dew, eyes wide: "AETH!" -pauses- "...Huh." Aeon, gleefully: "BEAT IT BY MICHAEL JACKSON!" Aether, in pain: "I'm gonna beat both of you in a minute-"

[thelampisaflashlight]

Mountain, shivering: "I walked by the conference room earlier, and Copia and Perpetua were both simultaneously spinning on the office chairs at exactly the same speed, and stopped immediately to stare at me when I walked past the window, and now I am deeply afraid they're plotting to kill me." Dew, patting his shoulder: "Aw, Mount, if there was a set of twins that would try and kill you, it's not those two." -points at Sister Imperator's sisters- "Now those two-"

[thelampisaflashlight]

Dew, shooing Rain away: "Just because I have time off, does not mean I'm free. I have serious plans for tonight, and I'll not be disturbed!" Rain, looking him up and down: "It's 7pm and you're already in your pjs, drinking sleepytime tea, wrapped up in a blanket. Unless your plans are to 'honk' and then 'shoo' or perhaps 'snork mimimi' than I don't know why you can't sit and watch a movie with me." Dew: "Maybe I do plan to honk the shoo!" Rain, dragging him along: "You can sleep later, come on!" Dew: -hissing- Copia, watching this unfold: "Ah... this reminds me of Sister and the old man somehow..."

[thelampisaflashlight]

Dew, having trouble sleeping: "Aeon, I want you to tell me the most fucked up fun fact you have about yourself." Aeon, through the wall: "Why? Wouldn't that keep you awake?" Dew, without pause: "I firmly believe that nothing you could possibly say would horrify me so bad that I wouldn't be able to sleep. In fact, I think it will be so mundane and boring I will drift off within seconds." Aeon: "Ouch, okay, uhh, so-" -The Next Morning- Dew, head in his hands at the kitchen counter: -leaning over his coffee mug- Aeon, cheerfully: "-And that's how I learned I can invert my skeleton!" Dew: "...Jesus Christ."

[thelampisaflashlight]

Dew, rolling out the whiteboard: "Okay, so here's the Emeritus family tree, minus a couple limbs." Rain, raising an eyebrow: "And what prompted these... amputations?" Dew, points at the trashcan in the corner of the room: "I threw out some of Sister Imperator's relatives, because they were 'fuckheads', the spirit board's words, not mine, but agreed." Rain, shrugging: "Fair enough." -looking at the board- "...Why are you on the board?" Dew: "Manifesting." Rain: "...You're trying to sleep with Copia?" Dew, pointing at the picture of Copia: "Sleep with him?" -scoffs- "No, I intend to marry him and then take half of what he owns." Rain: "You're going to marry him so you can divorce him?" Dew: "I never said anything about divorce, I just want half of his shit-"

[thelampisaflashlight]

Rain, sopping wet, trudging in from outside: "...Did you know it is me-ing outside-"

[thelampisaflashlight]

Dew, after getting a text from Aether: "Your message finds me in the nude." Aether, hopeful: "Oh~? ;)" -thinks for a minute- "Why are you naked? You said you were taking a shower two hours ago... Did you do the thing again?" Dew, texting back: "The post shower introspective sitting on the bed thing? Yeah." Aether: "Baby no-"

[thelampisaflashlight]

Rain: "Sometimes, I go into Dew's closet and put random clothes in there to see if he notices or even cares, and the answer so far has been no, because he approaches fashion the same way Adam Sandler does; He just wears whatever he finds in there, and, as such, I've had to... curate a couple outfits for him on the sly if I want to see him in them without asking for it specifically." -watching Dew wander around the kitchen dressed in a shark costume- "...That being said, sometimes he still amazes me." Dew, in the confessional later, still dressed like a shark: "I put it on to fuck with Rain, because I know he's been making outfits for me to wear, 'cause he thinks my fashion sense isn't very good, but then the zipper broke and I guess this is just my life now-"

[thelampisaflashlight]

Copia: "The biggest problem with ghouls, is if you leave them to their own devices for long enough, they can and will build a series of cabins in the woods complete with a communal bath and attempt to abandon society, because they saw someone on TV do it." Copia, sniffs: "And the worst part is that they'll actually be just fine and look at you funny when you tell them they have to go back." -hands on hips- "They go the weirdest kinda feral, I swear." Dew, in a towel: "You're just jealous we won't let you use the sauna." Copia: "You are killing your papa-"

[thelampisaflashlight]

Aeon, watching Dew float along peacefully on a raft in the abbey's indoor pool: "It's so tempting to go over there and flip him into the water..." Swiss, placing a hand on his shoulder: "As much as I agree, I strongly advise against trying it if you value your life." Aeon, looks at him, and then at the raft again: "What's the worst that could happen? He tries to drown me? I'm gonna do it-" Swiss: "It's not Dew you should be worried abou-uh oh." Aeon, screeching, treading water: "THERE'S A MONSTER IN THE WATER!!!" Rain, unfurling from beneath the raft in full sea monster form: -letting out a guttural croaking and hissing noise- Swiss: "GOOD LUCK!" Dew, undisturbed, getting rocked slightly by the thrashing waves: "Remember not to eat him, summoning a new quint would be expensive-"