#Lamp rambles

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Dew, resting his head on Aether's shoulder while they sit by the fireplace: "...Do you think Krampus has a Krampenis or a Krampussy?" Aether, nuzzling Dew lovingly: "...I think you should shut up now." Dew, after staying quiet for exactly two minutes: "If he has a Krampenis-" Aether, sighing: "Yule can't be over fast enough..."

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Swiss, being cocky: -teasing Cumulus about her height- Cumulus: -gestures for Swiss to lower himself down onto her level- Swiss: -does so expecting her to whisper something- Cumulus: -motioning for him to drop down further- Swiss, gets on his knees, smirking: "Finally seeing eye to-" Cumulus, tipping his chin up, glaring down at him: "The next time you try and act all high and mighty, remember how easily you dropped to the ground without me having to say a single word. I'm the one in charge here, talk down to me again and I'll make your nose touch the ground." Swiss, actually intimidated: "Oh. Oh damn, okay-"

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Dew, standing in front of a projector screen: "Everyone's always curious about the abbey's history, so I figured I'd throw together a little slide show to explain what we know about the place." -clicks to the first slide- "As we can see here, we have a sketch done in charcoal by one of the monks who resided on the land back in the early 1500's and... Huh." Mountain, sees Dew looking at him: "What? What is it?" Dew, pointing at one of the builders in the background of the sketch: "Does that look like Mount to you guys?" Everyone, turning: -looking at Mountain and then back at the slide, then back to Mountain- Mountain, arms crossed: "What? A man can't have had a life before?" Dew: "Bitch, how fucking old are you-"

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Rain, sopping wet, trudging in from outside: "...Did you know it is me-ing outside-"

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Rain: "Sometimes, I go into Dew's closet and put random clothes in there to see if he notices or even cares, and the answer so far has been no, because he approaches fashion the same way Adam Sandler does; He just wears whatever he finds in there, and, as such, I've had to... curate a couple outfits for him on the sly if I want to see him in them without asking for it specifically." -watching Dew wander around the kitchen dressed in a shark costume- "...That being said, sometimes he still amazes me." Dew, in the confessional later, still dressed like a shark: "I put it on to fuck with Rain, because I know he's been making outfits for me to wear, 'cause he thinks my fashion sense isn't very good, but then the zipper broke and I guess this is just my life now-"

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Dew, in the confessional: "Okay, so this one's kind of a doozy... I'm not a ghoul." -pauses for a moment, then continues- "Like, I kind of just went along with it, because everyone thought I was, and I've been bluffing my way through everything and somehow haven't been caught yet, but it's starting to get really awkward in the den, because everyone's like, 'Come on, show us your tail!' or 'We wanna see your horns!' and, like, I don't have any of those, what do I fucking do??" Copia, processing this: "...Then how have you been doing fire magic??" Dew, crying: "Bitch, I don't know, that's why I'm asking you!" Copia, crying, too: "That's scary!" Dew: "I KNOW!"

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Dew: "Sometimes the guys hangout without me, which is whatever, but, like, whenever the girls hangout, they're always like, 'Dew! Come on, it's girls' night!' and I'm like, 'Okay, cool, have fun.' and they're like, 'No, come on, silly, let's go, you're part of the girl gang!'..." -arms crossed- "...I dunno how I got into the girl gang, and quite frankly I'm scared that I may never know." Rain, jealous: "I never get to be part of the girl gang..." Dew, hands on his hips: "You wouldn't be able to handle the pressure, Rainy." Rain: "Pressure?" -flashback to the previous girls' night- Cumulus, leaning over the map of Vatican: "-at which point, Dew will slip into the artifact room and grab the skull." Cirrus, slamming her hand on the table: "Dew's not ready for this, let me do it!" Cumulus: "After last time?! I can't risk another loss!" Aurora, sniffling: "Poor Sunny, she was so young... and now she's trapped in a lake... Salt Lake City, Utah..." Mist, shouting: "Enough! We'll go ahead with the plan as is. Dew! Can you handle this responsibility?" Dew: "I-" -fades back to the present- Dew, wistfully: "You just wouldn't understand, Rainy..." Rain: "???"

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Swiss, in his nature documentary voice, observing Aeon: "The young ghoul enters the den, seeking a place to rest and recover from the night's hunt." Aeon, bleary eyed and grumpy: -hungover from the party they threw in the woods last night- Swiss: "Hoping to find a comfortable perch to settle upon, the ghoul scopes out his surroundings, but finds, to his dismay, that the most comfortable spot has been taken up by an elder male." Dew, laying on the couch: -passed out with the tv remote in his hand- Swiss: "Though smaller in size then the younger ghoul, the elder male is incredibly territorial, and will wake easily if disturbed, grumbling something about how he's 'watching that' should anyone attempt to remove the object in his possession." Aeon, looking over the back of the couch at Dew: -sticking his leg over and stepping onto the space between Dew and the cushions- Swiss, watching closely: "A bold move, what does he hope to accomplish?" Aeon, maneuvering over: -sits down on Dew and then leans forward until his head is in the crux of Dew's neck- Swiss, blinking: "Huh." Dew, waking up from the sudden weight on his body: "...Don't touch the remote... I'll kill you..." Aeon: -loud purring- Dew, wraps his arms around Aeon, still clinging to the remote: -goes back to sleep- Swiss: "...What."

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Dew, sitting in the living room with his feet propped up: "I told Aeon I lost my will to live and he's been searching for it for about an hour now. Bless him for trying, but devil below is that man a fool." Aeon, searching under furniture: "I haven't found it yet, but I'll keep looking! Don't worry!" Dew, smiling fondly, whispering: "...Perhaps there are some good things about this life after all." Aeon, thinking: "...If I keep goofing around like this, it'll make Dew laugh a bit, so there's that."

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Mountain: "Once, during a full moon, I wandered away from the abbey into a farm field in full creature mode, and there were these sheep, yeah? Well, I was like, 'HELL YEAH! SHEEP!!!' and was petting them... and then the farmer showed up." -clicks tongue- "After he decided NOT to shoot me, he just kinda sat on a rock for a while and didn't say anything, but Copia did get a letter the next day that said, 'Not for nothin', but ya could've warned me about the huge large feckin' moose of a dog you've got over there.'... Suffice to say I haven't returned." Cumulus, standing with her hands on her hips: "You just have to blend in better, become one with the flock and they'll be none the wiser-" Copia, holding another letter from the farmer: "Which one of you got sheared by accident?" Cumulus, sporting a new haircut: "You've no proof of anything."

[thelampisaflashlight]

A RainDrop thought for this morning while I attempt to wake up for work. Let's go.

Rain likes to lay on top of Dew, like, just go completely dead weight on top of him and really lock him in place, and Dew spends the entire time chirping like, "Dude? Dude. Dude!" because he doesn't want to get squished, but then he just kinda settles into it.

As it would turn out, all that chirping is just him being dramatic, however, if he makes a sort of guinea pig "moip" sound, he actually is being crushed and he would very much like not to be.

Sometimes, if people see Rain climbing onto Dew and they can hear him fussing about it, they'll chastise him about it, but then both of them will look at the person with the most annoyed faces.

To love is to squish for them, and how dare you-

Once, Rain accidentally stepped on Dew trying to get into the right position to flop down on top of him, and the sound that escaped him sounded like a deflating squeak toy followed by a yelp, and because Rain laughed, Dew flipped over and kicked him off the bed.

Man was devastated.

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Psaltarian, entering Copia's office: "Your mother's ghouls keep showing up in the mausoleum and-" Copia, putting down his paperwork: "Seestor-Mother had ghouls?" Psaltarian, holding a whimpering Cowbell and Special by the ears: "Who did you think these two belonged to??" Copia: "The old bastard?" Psaltarian: "No, no, Nihil's ghouls were inherited by Primo." -shaking his head- "At any rate, these two keep trying to climb on top of the coffin and sleep on it, so you need to invest in better locks." Copia, looking at the ghouls: "Why would they do that?" Special, sad: "We miss her..." Cowbell, poking the tips of his fingers together: "...Hungry-" All: "NO!"

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Cumulus: "A lot of people think Dew yells when he's mad, but that's not his thing; He doesn't wanna hurt his vocal chords. Believe it or not, but he's our secret little song bird, but I digress." -waves her hand- "When he's mad, Dew stares, like, through you. He stares into your fucking soul and decides you are nothing without saying a single goddamned word. Just look there." Aeon, being stared down: -whimpering, tail between their legs- Dew, narrowing his eyes very slightly: "..." Aeon, trembling: "I'M SORRY!" Cumulus, hands on her hips: "I dunno what they even did to deserve that..." Dew: -lets out the biggest, wettest sneeze- Cumulus: "...Ah, allergy season, right." Dew, looking at Aeon: "Why are you crying-"

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Aether, to no one in particular: "You might like Dew a lot, you may even love him, but you will never love him as much as I love this guy. He is my boy. My bestie." -holding Dew up by his armpits like one might display a cat- "And this guy loves me back! Don'tcha, bud?" Dew: -gives a thumbs up- Swiss: "I'm surprised he hasn't bit you yet." Aether, covered in band-aids: "Now I never said he didn't do that-"

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Dew, laying on the couch: "...Hey, Rain?" Rain, sitting in the chair across from him: "Yes?" Dew, tilting his head to look at him directly: "Could you slap two tortillas together with some cheese and stick it in the microwave for me, please?" Rain: "...You want two tortillas with cheese?" Dew: "Ye." Rain, getting up: "I could make you an actual quesadilla if you want, it's not that hard." Dew, blinking: "...You'd do that for me?" Rain: "I mean, yeah, it's not that-Why are you crying?!" Dew: "I dunno! I just feel loved or maybe it's gas-"

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Dew, sick in bed, snuggled up with his Baphomet plush, with some random ghost hunting show on in the background: "Hey, Mount?" Mountain, on the other side of the room, sitting on his bed using his laptop: "Yes, my little plague rat?" Dew, coughing, offended: "Rude!" Mountain: "Would you prefer 'my little sicko' or, perhaps, 'precious bringer of pestilence'? Anyway, what do you need?" Dew: "...Can you make me some tea?" Mountain, closing his laptop: "Right away, Sir Sniffles." Dew, narrowing his eyes: "You're lucky I can't get out of bed right now, or you'd be dead." Mountain, looking at Dew: "You weigh five pounds, have more pillows on your bed than body mass, and are wearing a shirt that says 'Baby Girl' on it." Dew, looking at his shirt: "...So I am... Well, you've got me there."