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slytherinslut0 · 1 year ago

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MATTHEO RIDDLE- Beg For Me

Chapter Fifteen-Info: You and Mattheo have been butting heads for months, since you were assigned as his tutor, and one day during a session full of tense bickering, he has enough.

(This will essentially be a toxic book where we are Theos fucktoy. No love here, very minimal fluff.)

Tags: this chapter is literally just angst. complete freakin angst. two broken hearts that refuse to acknowledge it. pretty poetical. i know i said no love but now im not so sure.

****FIND THE REST OF THE CHAPTERS HERE.

"You're coming with me, Emily," you asserted, arms crossed over your chest, your eyes narrowing at her as she was lazily sprawled out on her bed, clearly uninterested in your predicament. "There's no way in hell I'm going alone...you can bring Michael."

Emily let out a dramatic groan, her hands instinctively flying to rub her tired eyes. "But...there's a Gryffindor party that night too...we'd much rather go to-"

"Emily!" you interrupted, advancing across the room toward her bed. You leaned against the footboard, your expression pleading. "Please, please...after everything that happened with Berkshire, I'd prefer not to go back into their bloody common room by myself...plus I don't even drink! Like I don't even know-"

"Okay, okay!" Emily hastily sat up, cutting you off as she sensed your rising panic. "Gods, you're giving me a headache...I'll talk to Michael about it..."

A sigh of relief escaped you, but the tension still clung to your shoulders like a heavy cloak. You spun around, the weight of uncertainty pressing down on you as you threaded your fingers through your hair in frustration, each strand a tangible reminder of your racing thoughts.

Your mind buzzed with a whirlwind of worries. What should you wear to fit in yet not draw too much attention? How would you deflect offers of drinks without seeming rude or standoffish? And most pressing of all, how did you even find yourself entangled in this mess? The truth was, your inability to refuse others had led you down this labyrinthine path, a maze of social obligations you couldn't escape.

Emily's voice broke through the heavy silence, as delicate as the softest feathers--cautiously adjusting her tone now that she'd sensed just how stressed out you were.

"Hey, you'll be fine," she reassured, her words a gentle caress in the midst of your turmoil. "You're with Tom, he'll make sure no one bothers you, I'm positive of it."

Emily's comforting words washed over you, but beneath the surface, your thoughts spiraled into a tumultuous whirlpool. The past two weeks had been a stark contrast to the passionate chaos you'd experienced with Mattheo. Since ending things with him, your tutoring sessions had turned quiet, punctuated only by the distant echo of pages turning and the bland murmur of academic based conversations.

Although Mattheo continued to give you his full undivided attention in your sessions, the silence hung heavy between you, a reminder of the void left by your fractured connection.

And in the midst of this emotional vacuum, you found unexpected solace in Tom's company. The regular meetings continued, but they had expanded beyond the boundaries of academics. Flirting had entirely woven its way into your conversations, each playful word adding a charged tension to the air. Now, his invitation to the party on Saturday night dangled before you like a tempting, yet daunting, prospect.

However, regardless of his advances, your feelings for Tom were far from romantic. It wasn't love that stirred your heart when you thought of him, but rather a sense of obligation. The Guild, with its intricate web of social dynamics, demanded a delicate balance. To maintain your position, you felt compelled to go along with Tom's desires, to keep up the facade of mutual interest. It was a game you didn't want to play, but the stakes were too high to ignore.

As Emily's reassurances attempted to quell your anxieties, the knot of obligation tightened in your chest. The looming party represented not only a night of uncertainty but also a reluctant sacrifice to uphold your standing in the Guild. The weight of your choices pressed down on you, a reminder that sometimes, obligations could feel as suffocating as the absence of passion.

"Yeah," you responded, your voice a grumble underlined with frustration. "Talk to Michael and let me know what he says... I'm heading up to the Tower, I just need some time alone."

Emily's expression softened, sympathy flickering in her eyes. "I'll handle it," she assured you. "Take your time up there, lots of stars to count, wouldn't want to miss one because you're rushing..."

You rolled your eyes at her snark, chewing on your lip to stifle your grin. "Yeah, yeah." You said. "Thanks, Em."

With a bleak smile, you grabbed your bag and pushed out of your dorm room, mind racing as you made your way up to the tower, the castle covered in its usual blanket of darkness, given it was already past eleven pm.

You thought back to that first week of tutoring sessions after you and Mattheo had called things off, how every moment spent in his presence felt excruciating. Sitting in such close proximity to him--being forced to look into his deep, intoxicating eyes, trace the scars that adorned his skin, and fixate on those perfect lips while knowing you'd never get to be anything other than platonic was a torment for your already aching heart.

For those initial days, your mind was a battleground of conflicting emotions. Thoughts of what it had felt like to have his hands exploring your body, pulling you close against his firm frame, haunted your every waking moment. His newfound silence only served to further infuriate you, although the reasons for your frustration remained elusive--you had wanted this separation, knew you needed it more than anything, yet part of you resented how effortlessly he seemed to cast everything aside, as though it had all been a meaningless fling to him, despite the amounts of passion you'd experienced.

The internal turmoil left you in a relentless tug-of-war between contentment and bitter disappointment. With every missed touch, resentment began to coil in the pit of your stomach. Despite yearning for the way he made you feel, your chest was a maelstrom of conflicted emotions. Gratitude warred with irritation; you were thankful that your life lacked complications that could jeopardize your post-graduate career, yet infuriated that Mattheo hadn't even tried to fight for you.

It stung, the way he seemingly dismissed you as though you were just another girl, another notch on his belt, disregarding the depth of what you shared.

Or, you guessed at this point, what you thought you had shared.

As you settled into the quiet solitude of the Astronomy Tower, the vast expanse of the night sky above became your sanctuary, the stars twinkling like distant diamonds against the vast canvas of space. It was your haven, a place where you could lose yourself in the mysteries of the universe. Surrounded by your celestial charts and notebooks, you immersed yourself in your research, the quill in your hand gliding over the parchment as you recorded your observations.

In the midst of your cosmic exploration, a sudden intrusion shattered the tranquility of the Astronomy Tower. Mattheo, his presence unexpected, settled down beside you. The mere sight of him sent your pulse racing, a rapid drumbeat in your ears. You shot your head around, scanning the surroundings as though you'd forgotten where you were, your mind racing with questions. Why the fuck was he here? The unexpected encounter left you beyond shocked, your eyes wide with surprise and curiosity.

"Matt-" your voice faltered, the surprise of his presence momentarily stealing your words.

"Couldn't sleep," he muttered, his voice carrying a weight of restlessness, as if the night sky outside held answers he desperately sought. "Don't allow me to interrupt."

He cut you off before you could regain your composure, not even bothering to spare a glance in your direction. His eyes remained fixed on the stars, his silence echoing louder than any words he could have spoken. The unspoken tension between you hung in the air, heavy and palpable, a reminder of the unresolved emotions that lingered beneath the surface.

"Um, okay." You cleared your throat, attempting to steady your voice, and resolutely returned your focus to the celestial tapestry above.

The stars glittered, seemingly oblivious to the complicated tornado of emotions unfolding below. As you continued your silent analysis of the night sky, you became aware of Mattheo lighting up a cigarette. His movements were deliberate, every flicker of the lighter, every draw from the cigarette, seemed to carry a weighted significance. Despite your attempt to ignore him, you could feel his eyes on you, his gaze like a tangible presence that bore into your skin, even without direct contact. The night stretched on, the only sounds the soft crackling of burning tobacco and the occasional rustle of paper as you made notes, each moment steeped in a tense stillness, waiting for something to break the fragile equilibrium.

And then, Mattheo's voice sliced through the quiet of the night, his question hanging in the air like a challenge. "What are you even doing?"

His question caught you off guard, a shock registering in your eyes as you assumed he was merely asking to mock you. Nevertheless, you gathered your composure, your passion for your research overcoming your initial surprise.

"I'm studying how stars and planetary alignments affect magic," you explained, your words measured yet enthusiastic. "The positions of celestial bodies influence magical energies, shaping the potency of our spells. Understanding these cosmic patterns is like deciphering the universe's manual for mastering magic."

Mattheo's eyes narrowed, a hint of skepticism coloring his voice. "Stars affecting magic?" he said, his tone dismissive yet laced with a sliver of intrigue. "Seems a bit far-fetched, Raven."

His words hung in the air, laced with icy indifference, yet there was an undeniable glimmer of curiosity, a flicker of interest that betrayed his cold exterior. You met Mattheo's skepticism with a determined gaze.

"It may sound far-fetched, but it's already been proven that magic is intertwined with the cosmos," you replied, your voice steady. "The alignment of stars and planets creates unique energy patterns. Understanding these patterns can give us an edge in harnessing magic. It's not about belief, it's about tapping into the natural forces of the universe..." you let your words linger for a moment, finally dropping your quill and releasing a long sigh. "Why are you always so dismissive of everything? Don't you have dreams Mattheo, don't you have passions?"

Mattheo took a slow drag off his cigarette, the ember glowing brightly before he released a plume of smoke that danced in the air, curling and twisting like ethereal tendrils. His eyes, usually guarded, met yours, holding a glimmer of something unreadable.

"Everyone dreams, Raven," he said, flatly. "But life isn't a fucking fairytale, sometimes dreams are crushed before they're born."

Your silent reaction spoke volumes as you studied his face, the way his chocolate curls framed his brooding eyes, holding countless secrets within their depths. Mattheo's words slowly dug into your shoulders, heavy with the weight of harsh truths. You released a long sigh, the reality of his words settling in, before you cautiously spoke.

"If everything was dipped in gold, it'd never grow..." you whispered, your voice soft yet resolute, as you turned your eyes back to the stars. "And not everything sweet is sugarcoated, Mattheo...sometimes life stings, and you have to fight for what you want, but that doesn't mean you toss away the wand, does it?"

For a moment, Mattheo's silence hung heavy, punctuated only by the soft exhale of smoke curling from his lips. The tendrils of fog obscured the canvas of stars, casting a mysterious veil over the night sky. When you turned to meet his gaze, you discovered his eyes already fixed on you, their depths shimmering with an enigmatic intensity.

"Even stars burn out, Raven," he said, his voice a low, gravelly murmur that seemed to echo the somber truth of the universe. "Sometimes, there's nothing you can do but watch."

Something panged in your chest, a jolt of pain spreading through you as Mattheo's words settled into the night air. For another brief, fleeting moment, your eyes met, and there was a flicker of understanding between you. You glimpsed his lips, and he glimpsed yours, a silent exchange of unspoken sentiments.

Swiftly, you looked away, turning your attention to the moon, its silvery glow casting an ethereal light upon your face, silently gathering yourself as you fought off the heat that was swarming your cheeks.

"You know what I appreciate more than the stars?" Mattheo's voice cut through the night, a hint of intrigue in his tone as he finally shifted his gaze off of you. "The moon."

You raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "And why is that?"

"It's the one constant," Mattheo replied, his gaze fixed on the night sky. "Stars might fade, flicker, but the moon persists...it's just...there." His voice was calm, almost distant, as if he was lost in thought. "No drama, no shows...just silent influence--one that can pull an entire fucking ocean from shore to shore...that's a power that can't be diminished. Subtle, yet absolute."

You nodded slowly, your eyes meeting his in the dim light of the night. The world around you seemed to fade away as you felt your pulse increase, an unspoken tension hanging between you.

"Silent influence," you murmured, your voice thoughtful. "A power that commands without demanding, a force that shapes without shouting…I think it’s a potent reminder of strength in simplicity."

"Beauty, too," he whispered, his voice almost a caress. "A reminder of the beauty in simplicity."

The words danced around you, laden with prescribed meaning, and you couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more to this conversation, something unspoken yet deeply felt. A vast silence filled the space around you, thick with a growing tension as Mattheo's eyes, intense and unreadable, locked onto yours, their depths echoing a multitude of emotions. You felt his fingers graze against yours as they were planted on the ground next to your thigh, a subtle yet electrifying touch.

At the feeling of his flesh grazing yours, even in as something as simple as this, your breath hitched, and a rush of heat surged through your body, making every nerve ending tingle with anticipation. After two whole fucking weeks, just as you’d finally stopped moping, just as you finally felt as though you could breathe without thinking about him, it was as if the universe itself had conspired to bring you two together in this charged moment, leaving you both suspended in a space where words were unnecessary, and the raw connection between your souls spoke volumes--his hand, touching yours, this is how galaxies collide, you thought.

"It's been two weeks since you've even bothered to bloody look at me, Mattheo..." you whispered, your voice trembling like fragile autumn leaves in the wind, scared to acknowledge the reality of your situation, but knowing you needed to. "It all meant nothing to you, yeah?"

Mattheo's gaze remained unwavering, his expression stoic and seemingly emotionless as he absorbed your words. His silence spoke louder than any response he could offer, leaving you with a hollow ache in your chest. The pain of his indifference cut deep, a stark contrast to the fiery passion that once consumed both of you.

Finally, he spoke, his voice low and filled with a restrained yet undetectable emotion. "Even if I said it didn't, would it really fucking matter, Raven?"

At his words, your heart rung, realizing that no matter how desperately you clung to the fragments of what you once shared, the reality was undeniable--the passion that once ignited between you two had flickered out, leaving only smouldering embers in its wake, and there was no reason for you to be upset over it--given that this was exactly what you fucking wanted.

Yet, with a heavy heart, you turned away, your gaze fixed on the distant horizon, searching for solace in the vast expanse of the night sky. You found yourself unprepared for the intricate complexities of your current reality--finding it amusing how your parents had dutifully cautioned you about the monsters lurking under your bed and the cruelty of schoolyard bullies, but never bothered to forewarn you about the captivating chaos that a disheveled boy with pretty eyes; ones that seemed to hold the fucking galaxies in their midst, and a demeanour infused with smoke and silver-tongued eloquence, would bring into your life.

"It would matter to me, yes." Your voice quivered as you confessed, the vulnerability in your words palpable in the night air--you kept your eyes fixed out in front of you, not daring to look at him. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, Mattheo..."

Mattheo scoffed, pulling out another cigarette, his movements deliberate yet filled with a sense of bitterness.

"You seem perfectly happy distracting yourself with my brother," he retorted, the words laced with a harsh edge.

Frustration welled up within you, your hands rising to your face as you rubbed the tension from your eyes, trying to find the right words amidst the chaos of emotions.

"Gods, you're unbelievable...that's exactly what ruined us, Mattheo," you said, your voice firm and weary. "Your constant issues with your brother, your need to control every damn thing... I just can't decipher your fucking intentions. Whatever 'us' meant, it drowned in the chaos you brought into it."

Mattheo's expression remained unreadable, a storm of emotions flickering behind his eyes. He took a slow drag from his cigarette, exhaling the smoke calmly before he finally spoke, his words weighed down by an unspoken burden.

"Maybe some things are just meant to drown, Raven." He said, bluntly. "You and I both know that."

You met Mattheo's gaze squarely, your eyes filled with hesitation and the weight of unspoken truths--his flat dismissal of your words bothered you, sparking irritation through your veins, but you couldn't drop his prior insinuation regarding his brother--it was time you cleared that up once and for all.

"For the record," you began, your voice faltering slightly, "I don't feel anything for your brother. I never fucking did. It was never, ever about him." The confession hung heavy in the air, your heart pounding as felt as though you’d revealed a vulnerable piece of your soul. "It was always about you," you added, your voice barely above an audible whisper. "I..."

"Stop," he said, his eyes flashing with a mix of anger and desperation. His body tensed, as if bracing for an impact. "Whatever you were about to say, don't say it."

Mattheo's voice came out as a sharp command, cutting through the tension like a knife through the darkness. His words lingered in the chilled night atmosphere, a heavy barrier between you, guarding his emotions like a fortress wall. Your throat tightened, constricting like a vice around your words. Each beat of your heart felt like a war drum, its thunderous rhythm drowning out any other sound.

"Why?" You hardly croaked.

"Because," Mattheo replied, his jaw clenching with the intensity of his suppressed emotions. "There are two fucking things in life you can't take back, Raven--bullets and words.“ he paused for a moment, inhaling a sharp breath. “Always make sure you hit what you aim at, and that you mean what you fucking say.”

Mattheo's words hit you like a tidal wave, crashing against the fragile walls of your resolve. The words rolled around you, creating a unstable bridge that stretched across the chasm between your bodies, threatening to collapse under the weight of suppressed emotions--and after a moment that felt like an eternity, you exhaled, accepting his now-hardened demeanour and deciding to just drop it, you switched the subject.

"I...I was just going to say...Tom invited me to the party in your common room on Saturday," you whispered, voice trembling as much as your fingers were. "I plan on going."

Mattheo's body tensed, his jaw tightening even further, as if to mask the rising anger within him. He avoided your gaze, his fists clenching involuntarily, struggling to contain the emotions surging beneath his calm exterior.

"And do you think that's a good idea?" His words sliced through the air, sharp and pointed, echoing the turmoil within him. "Have you ever attended a party here, even once?"

You shook your head, your voice barely audible as you admitted, "No, but I can't say no to him, Mattheo...I can't jeopardize my position in the guild. I've worked so hard for it, my entire educational career..." the desperation in your tone was palpable, the weight of your responsibilities bearing down on your shoulders. "It's rather maddening how quickly I transitioned from one Riddle capable of shattering my fucking future to another...it's like I can't catch a break."

The space between you and Mattheo sat heavy with unspoken words, an abyss of silence that seemed to stretch on endlessly. The soft glow of the dim light accentuated the shadows dancing across his face, emphasizing the muffled frustration etched into his features. Each puff of his cigarette punctuated the quiet, adding to the palpable tension in the air.

"I wasn’t planning on going to that," he finally replied, his voice carrying an unusual firmness, as if he was trying to convince himself too. "I quit all that shit."

Your voice caught in your throat, shock freezing your words as you tried to process his revelation.

"You-" you began, but he cut you off, his tone flat, devoid of its usual edge.

"Drinking, drugs," he said, his eyes meeting yours with a glint of determination before he gestured towards the cigarette between his fingers. "These are next."

You struggled to find your voice, your mind racing to comprehend the magnitude of his decision. The man who had drowned himself in alcohol more times in one week than you could count on two bloody hands had fucking quit it all. It was almost impossible to believe.

"Wow," you breathed, your words laced with a mix of disbelief and exasperation. Part of you still rolled with disappointment over his absence at the upcoming event, but a flicker of hope dared to spark within you. "That's great, Mattheo...that's a huge step for you..."

Mattheo's silence hung in the air, his eyes searching your face as if seeking answers in the depths of your gaze. Time seemed to stretch, the weight of the world seemingly sitting heavy between you. With deliberate slowness, he blinked, extinguishing his cigarette on the ground beside him, never breaking eye contact.

"You're too good, Raven," he whispered, his voice surprisingly steady, resonating with a mixture of admiration and regret. "Such an angel...you should know, I was never unaware that you fucking saved me."

His words hung there, pregnant with meaning, as if he was acknowledging a debt he could never fully repay. The vulnerability in his eyes was a stark contrast to the usual stoic facade, revealing the depth of his emotions in that fleeting moment. Mattheo's gaze continued to bore into yours, his eyes intense as if he had stumbled upon something precious he couldn't bear to lose.

In a move so gentle it felt like a caress, his hand lifted to your face, his thumb tracing a feather-light path over your cheek. His voice, soft and tender, carried a weight of sincerity that resonated deep within you.

"Everything will work out..everything you've worked so fucking hard for will eventually pay off," he whispered. "I would have never deserved you."

Your stomach twisted, and your heart seemed to pound against your sternum with a deafening resonance, drowning out the world around you. You couldn’t feel your fingers or the cold or the fucking emptiness of your heart because all you could feel was him. All you could focus on was the overwhelming fucking urge to climb into his lap and kiss him until you couldn’t breathe, kiss him until the only thing embedded within the tastebuds on your tongue was his fucking taste. He is everywhere, he is everything--in every pulse of your desires and the depths of your soul, and then he whispered,

“I will be there, for you, on Saturday,” his voice was a low, husky murmur, filling you with warmth. “Just incase.”

And as he withdrew his hand from your face, the loss of his touch was like a phantom ache, a reminder of the connection you desperately fucking craved. His eyes, deep and intense, lingered on your lips for a fleeting moment, a silent testament to the desires that simmered beneath the surface. As he pulled himself up to his feet, he broke his eyes from yours, and with deliberate steps, he retreated, the distance between you growing--but just when you thought he would disappear into the night, he paused, glancing back over his shoulder.

“And to answer your question--yes, I have dreams…” his voice, laden with a mix of vulnerability and yearning, hung in the air like a fragile promise. “But they’re only good when you’re in them.”

——————-

Find sixteen->

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lafox · 2 years ago

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Luis Sera Headcanon [Collab] SFW/NSFW

Author note: hi everyone. I know it has been Ages but im back with a little gift for all of you and i collab with @sattiene my beloved <3 thank you so much for her input and help because it really helped me out get back in the mix of things. i really missed writing HC for characters soooooo ! My ask are now open! YEY!

anyways i'll let you enjoy this Hc!:

SFW HC:

Meeting you for the first time in the events of the Las Plagas incident, the first thing he says to you is:

"I just have one important question. Do you have a smoke?"

Manipulation through his puppy eyes.

“Oye, Senorita. Mind a smoke?” *insta puppy eyes*

Probably ‘almost’ fluent in French and would brag about it to you only (hmmm wonder why)

Grows every so fond of you when you laugh off his flirting towards you.

But what made him fall in love even more was when you suddenly started to flirt back.

He stutters, is flustered but quickly come back with another flirt (it's a war now)

One time, he was playing around with his lighter while walking, to which you added a remark:

“Hm.. Does this skill also apply in the bedroom?” You smirked.

The man was shooken (idk this isn't a word) and closed his lighter shut.

He shook his head and chuckled,

“There is only one way to find out, ay?” He said looking back at you.

Oh boy…

He tries to lighten up the mood as Leon isn’t much of a jokester.

And when you laugh at his jokes and Leon doesn't, he points it out:

“Ay, see Y/N likes my jokes.”

If you are imprisoned, you bet your ass Luis is gonna be your knight in shining armor.

You’ll scream to whoever, to get you out when it’s Luis that peaks his head and saves you his only comment will be:

“Oh so that's what you sound like, hm?”

Alternatively : You are captured and tied up unconscious. He is at your rescue once more and sees you tied up. He would whistle and look away for a minute, putting his fist close to his mouth before snapping out of it and helping you out.

When you wake you bet your ass he will hit you with the oldest pick up line to this day like:

"Oh chica. I've been told I look heavenly, but you're not in heaven yet."

Is it raining? No problem Luis is to the rescue:

“Where are my manners?” He says as he takes off his jacket and hovers it on top of your head.

Oh shit! A flight hatchet coming your way! But don't worry, again, Luis is at the rescue,

Hugging you as he pushes both of you away and falls down.

Well now it's an awkward situation as you are now on top of him. You lift yourself to meet with Luis’ face closer than expected.

Of course he shots a flirtatious grin accompanied with his eyebrows raising up.

What he would do to get your attention or to be close to you i swear…

He is down bad for you that's for sure.

It's impressive when you see Leon in action, a break at the shooting range is always a great pause for everyone, which helps make Luis and you grow closer.

But the music made your feet tap to the beat and that, Luis noticed.

He gently grabbed your hand, waiting a few seconds to know if he was denied and when you didn’t reject his advance, dragged you to dance.

You giggled, you weren’t much of a dancer but the beat was so good and the moment was so right, it made you become one.

That was when you were charmed by him.

When you get separated, Luis will call you on the radio any chance he gets.

“Hola. Aaah I'm glad you picked up princesa. I’m at the ballroom, come over. We can continue our little dance. Don’t be late to the party!”

When you are a bit more separate from Leon and Ashley, you call Luis and you guys chat

“How's your search? Are you okay so far?” you asked. “Always so worried for me, lindura~” “I miss you too don’t worry” He adds.

He would scare you by hugging you from behind

Which ultimately ends in you pointing your gun at him

"Whoa whoa, cariño. chill. it's just me, your loverboy."

Would take pictures of you on his flip phone but the pictures are some of the worst moments of you looking surprised, zoning out, or sweaty with dirt on your face cause you were almost killed by a villager.

You ask him to delete it but nah this man puts it as his wallpaper and keeps it forever.

If you are infected with las Plagas, he becomes serious

Will still be flirtatious to calm his own anxiety

At the operation table, will hold your hand while killing the plaga

Would turn his head away as it is agony for him to hear you scream in pain

"I know, I know bebe. I'm here. shhh, shh,"

Let a tear fall and wipes it after the operation finish

Man, he thought he lost you!

But enough heart breaks!

The man is clingy! He loves you so much he always want you close

For example; you want to make breakfast for the both of you in the morning but no no no you are not escaping with his arms wrapped around your waist

"Nooooo, mi amor, stay," He whines in his morning voice.

Will be hugging you from behind while you cook breakfast.

You can feel his stubble tickling your neck

Everything is perfect.

The embodiment of chivalry

Opens doors for you, pushes your seat for you allllll the time.

NSFW HC

He is loud and not scared to be

Moan, groans, whimpers, yeah you are getting the whole service.

Service top/ dom

Mutters some Spanish when he is really really into it.

His foreplay is insane the man is a teaser;

Hand on your thigh just slowly but surely making his way through your core as he kisses your neck and tells you sweet nothing. (how could it not melt to that!)

You are always his top priority

Can go on for hour for your pleasure only (pls don’t make him pass out i beg you)

Cracks jokes if you are anxious, just to see you smile and relax, that’s already a win for him.

Mf does the petal of roses on the bed thingy on the special occasion (with scented candles ofc!)

Nice dinners and dancing before a night of love.

Sex isn't a shameful topic to him and will tease about it.

If you tease him back about his performance he will backfire at you, its constant banter!

Weakness for lace in lingerie: He would fall weak if he slowly discovered you are wearing a set of lingerie while he takes off your clothes

“You wore this for me cariño.” and also will have his puppy eyes activated.

Would brag about you all the time and show that you are his girl as he marks you

He loves when you mark him, telling him you are his and that he is yours.

Covered with your lipstick is so hot to him, shows how much you love him.

Takes pictures of all the above

His biggest turn on? When you ride him.

Holy fuck does he love it so much, just digging his hands on your thighs and trusting at the same beat as your riding makes him melt.

You taste heavenly to him and he loves to eat you out

Face riding? Yes please!

Makes him so horny you bet that shit makes him precum.

Type of guy to continue slowly thrusting in when done cause God Damn you feel good, he doesn’t want it to end!

Not into the harcord stuff like BDSM and such but would be willing to try for you

“So you’re into that stuff ay..”

His favorite positions are any where he can see your beautiful face

He will never call you names like ‘slut’ and stuff “that's not a gentlemen’s ways”

You tried your best to please him first but Luis can’t hear any of that: “Ladies first” kinda treatment

“Why don’t we switch it up tonight, let me start with you~” you said as you pressed your fingertips on his pecks, going ever so slowly down.

He shook his head as he chuckled. “You know my policy mi amor” He takes your hand to wrap in around his neck as he positions you on your back while kissing you

I mean, you can’t resist him.

First time he makes you squirt, the man will be so proud of himself

Will use that fact against you in arguments: “didn’t you gush all over me last night?? yeah that’s what i thought.”

With a smug ofc

Tell you how beautiful you are especially while making you cum

Best aftercare, hugs, kisses, shower, and caresses.

The man Orders you to stay put when he cleans up, its “his mess not yours”

#luis sera #luis serra #luis sera x reader #luis serra x reader #resident evil #resident evil 4 #re4 remake #resident evil fanfiction #resident evil x reader #luis sera x you #resident evil x you #re4 #re4r #headcanon #luis sera headcanon

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chrome-barkz-aac · 3 months ago

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how i go to concerts as an autistic person with speech loss episodes!

PT: how i go to concerts as an autistic person with speech loss episodes

PART ONE: before the concert

plan out everything beforehand, a couple days to a week in advance. this includes where you will park (if you drive) or who you will ride with. if you're of drinking age you also need to plan who in your group is drinking (or doing other drugs) and who is the designated driver (if you aren't taking a taxi/uber/public transport)

wear comfortable clothes that you can move around in / that won't add to your overstimulation. this includes shoes that are good for standing/walking for long periods of time

practice scripts for if you accidentally bump into someone or need to move past someone ("excuse me" "sorry" etc)

if you want to participate in a mosh pit, you may want to bring a friend to hold your AAC device or go low/no tech for the concert. mosh pits can be exciting but i definitely wouldn't bring your ipad or SGD into one! i tend to go to concerts alone so instead of my ipad i brought a boogie board to write on, which is far less breakable

concerts can be loud, so you'll need ear defenders, headphones or earplugs. i like to use silicon ear plugs bc they stay in my ears even when im bouncing around a lot!

if you are going with friends, have a pre-determined signal that lets your group know "i need a break" or "i need to leave"

make sure to charge your devices beforehand. a lot of tickets are virtual these days, so your phone becomes your ticket.

PART TWO: at the concert!

when you get to the venue, you'll likely have to go through security and show your ID and tickets. be ready for this.

when you get inside, you can find your seats (if assigned) or go to the floor (if general admission) IF CROWDS MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE you should hang out in the back of general admission. this gives you more space to move around and breathe. if you don't mind getting close to people, being close to the stage can be awesome! but i definitely recommend earplugs bc its really loud near the stage

just because everyone else is doing something doesn't mean you also have to do it! if everyone else has their phone/lighter out and is waving it and you don't want to, you don't have to! this goes for many other things as well. if everyone else is drinking, or doing drugs (weed is pretty common at the concerts i go to) you don't have to! if everyone else is screaming or shouting the words, you don't have to!

just because the singer onstage tells the crowd to jump, or get down, or wave your hands or any number of other things doesn't mean you have to! you can do what you're comfortable with. after all, you're at the concert to have a good time, so you should do what makes you feel the best.

you don't have to sing along if you can't speak! you can say as much or as little as you want. instead of yelling you can clap, instead of shouting the lyrics you can hum, etc.

concerts are great to get some full body stimming in! you can rock, sway, stomp or flap your hands to the beat. you can even jump up and down! you do need to be mindful of other people though - people tend to flock close together on the floor or in the pit and if you bounce around enough, you might run into someone! that's totally ok, it happens, just apologize and move on!

if you're moving around a lot, you need to be mindful of how your body feels throughout the concert. are you overheated? are you sweating? do you need water or to sit down?

its ok to leave at any point in the concert, even in the middle of a set or a song! your well being is the most important thing and its important to pay attention to what your body needs. its not a good idea to "push through" just to see your favorite artists. seeing 50% of a concert is better than seeing 0% of a concert or seeing 80% of a concert and having to leave suddenly because you have a meltdown

ultimately, do whatever you want as long as you're not causing harm to other people or yourself

do not try to make friends with the security guards. they dont really like that. i don't totally understand why but i get the impression that it is because they are working and have to keep a close eye on the crowd, and talking to them can distract them from their job.

PART THREE: after the concert!

concerts are a huge ordeal for anyone, not just disabled folks. that being said, it definitely takes a bigger toll on you when you are disabled and need extra support to recover from overstimulating environments. be gentle with yourself after the concert and give yourself grace if you are extra tired or having a hard time with things that are usually easy for you in the hours or days after the concert

as soon as you get home, have a snack and a drink of water (or juice/electrolyte drink). singing along and jumping / dancing can make you dehydrated. even if you don't feel hungry or thirsty you should have something to eat and drink. you may be riding a high of being excited or happy to hear your favorite music and not be able to discern what your body is telling you.

get lots of rest when you get home. try to sleep in the next day if you can. your body will probably be tired.

if you're feeling tired or irritable after the concert because of the emotional exhaustion you might feel, try to put on a relaxing video or do something that regulates you.

thats all i can think of ! if ne of yall have ne other ideas for how to manage concerts as an autistic person drop them in the comments or reblogs!

#qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq9888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 #<- tag that my cat typed #thank you stewie #chrome barkz #aac #aac user #actually autistic #autism #autistic

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vitzi9 · 2 years ago

Text

Patience is the key to success (2)

Masterlist if you want to read my others things. Part 1 here.

CW/TW: yandere-manipulative-obsessive-stalker-ethan, fem reader, smut, no p in v, depressed reader(but really), suicidal thoughts

i'm trying to post this quick because I crave attention, whatever its insults, compliments, likes or repost, idc. I want ppl to know i'm existing. i have a big oral test tomorrow and im really bad at speaking before someone (hence why im writing instead) so i just need to know im not totally useless in the society and that im, at the very least, making people enjoy my things. sorry for the rant, i have a big headhache, probably gonna die ✌️😚

the smut is really bad btw but like really but im bad at writing them but i need to to improve (26/06/2023) (5226 words)

"Let's just finish watching the movie now." you say and Ethan doesn't make you repeat as he goes straight to the couch.

You felt much better after that little talk. Ethan did not say much but in his words, there was a lot more. He was planning to be with you a long time. He does not want to ruin things. It made you so happy. Every fiber in you was warm thinking of it. You were at peace.

Ethan was calm after that, albeit moving uncomfortably sometimes. (maybe because of his boner?) He was just as cuddly as when you arrived. His head laid flat on your chest, rising up and down with each one of your breath. Your fingers brush his curl slowly as you hear his breathing slacken. You were giddy thinking about him being at peace with you, too.

His arms were closed tightly around your body, never letting you go. The movie was really advanced by now, the end was coming soon. It probably was something towards 11AM. Usually, you would have gone knock at your friend's house but there was no need now as you already saw her earlier.

When the movie fatefully ended, the credits start to roll but none of you moved an inch. Ethan rubs his cheeks against your chest before sighing happily. His eyes were closed. Was he asleep ? No, certainly not. He loves horror movie. He wouldn't fall asleep when one is ongoing.

He was cute here. You were delighted to think he trusted you enough to let his guards down and sleep with you. You were his safeplace. And he was yours. Your fingers trail down on his back where you draw small patterns dreamily. You write things, that cross your mind. You simply scratch him. His sudden speaking startle you. Your hand stopping evey movements.

"Are you sleeping far from here, today ? Every movements of his jaw hitting slightly on your chest. 'today' because he knew about your frequent change of home.

Relaxing, you continue to caress his back lovingly.

-No, not really. But I don't sleep there anymore.

The hotel too was starting to worry you. Like the building was shrieking on you. You don't know what was scarier, to be alone or to never be. And now that you found such a warm place, you don't want to leave. Ever.

-Why ?

-Scare me, s'all.

-You can sleep here tonight, if you want.

-Why ? Your decision was already made; you'd sleep here. You knew it the second he offered you to stay the night. But you wanted to see his arguments to convince you.

"Let me be with you." his sentence made a shiver run down your back.

Did that stalker fucked you up so hard you had chill even thinking about them? It was just a damn sentence. Everyone can say it. For god's sake, it's Ethan saying it of all people. Even if he awoke this uneasy feeling back, you couldn't blame him. He didn't know about the sign the criminal had shown you. You didn't tell him that much detail, only saying they had indeed brought creepy signs but omitting what was written on it. And Ethan said it so prettily, too. Yes, of course you'd be with him.

He told you you never slept here before and that you'd be safe anyway since he's here and don't plan on leaving you. So you accepted. It was really early in the day but the both of you were getting sleepy because of the calm and comfort of the situation. He offered you to go to his room which you accepted. After guiding you to there, he tells you he has to go grab something and that he'd be back really quick.

And he did, in fact, came back really quick.

By then, you were already sprawled out on his bed. You had time to see the mess he had scattered everywhere. The carboard, the books, the drawings, some letters, too. And you even found out about his second phone. The lockscreen was a generic one, the one you have by default, as if he just got it recently. But the phone wasn't new, it seems in contrary really old as it was broken at some area.

Ethan arrives in the room with a small plastic blue square packaging, you don't have time to see what it was that he throws it under the bed. You don't pay it too much attention. Playing mindlessly with his other phone in hand, you take off and put back the phone case of it to entertain yourself.

"You got two phones ? you ask even though you kind of knew the answer already.

-Oh, yes. One is for games only, the other is the one I'm really using. Did you went on it ?

-No, don't worry, I won't frisk into your secret criminal life."

He smiles before taking the phone out of your hand. He places it in the drawer of his nightstand. Ethan falls on top of you, taking your breath away for a moment. You laugh and hit his back for him to get away from you and he just laugh heartly before letting himself fall beside you.

He lays down, setting his head on his arm, looking up at you with stars in eyes. Sometimes, he's so pretty it hurt physically to look at him. Starting to get embarrassed by his insistent look, you find something to say.

-Why do you have so much pieces of cardboard anyway ?

-I make placards out of them.

With a fond smile, Ethan stares straight at your eyes. As if waiting for you to say something. You would have ask questions about his 'placards ' if not for the sudden interest he was displaying in you, which, instead, made you change subject without really noticing it. A nervous laugh escaping you.

-Why are you looking at me like that ? Is there an undertone ? Am I supposed to understand something ?"

He shakes his head negatively, displaying a small mischievous smile. He could be such a goblin at times ! Wanting to make him swallow his pride, you lean towards him and kiss his lips. Ethan smiles and moves his lips with yours.

Your arm set down on his waist and soon the kiss get heated. Ethan's body is burning, his breath is too. You don't let each other breath, as soon as you separate from each other, you plunge back in. Physically needing the contact.

You rise on your knee, arching your back to kiss him still laying flat on the bed. Soon, he joins you by rising as well. Both of you on your knees, face to face, eating each other's face. Ethan's hand are mahandling you to sit on his thights. Then, with his surprising strenght, he starts sliding you on them. Your heating pussy rubbing directly on the fabric of his pant. Your hand instinctivly goes to rub the growing tent in his trousers. The area was hot, when you slide your fingers on it, it would budge.

Ethan whimpers, thrusting his hips against yours. You straddle him completly, framing his his body with your legs. You rub his tent against your clit for some frictions. It was aching and growing more desperate by seconds.

"I... I wanna have sex with you." Ethan says softly.

You kiss his cheek, going for his neck. You answer with a meek 'me too' before sucking the skin of his neck. Ethan backs his head, already out of breath. He gives you full access to his body, still rutting desperatly his hips into yours.

But you were growing impatient. You lift your body from him, making him whine at the contact loss, before sliding your fingers behind the elastic of his pants. You slip it down to his knees before you start salivating at the sight of his hard cock already drooling for you.

He didn't have any underwear. That's why you could feel him so close to your core.

Your hand touch his thight, caressing gently his body. Making sure to avoid the area he need you the most. Ethan try to touch himself, tired of your teasing, but you slap his hand away. He whines and looks up at you with teary eyes. Silently begging you to do something. It was impossible for you to resist him.

Your hand grabs his cock in one motion, you could feel it pulse and its warmth propagate in your hand. It was already so so wet because of all his precum, your hand was sliding so easily you could have thought he came multiple times already. Gently, you start to move your hand on all its lenght slowly. The boy props himself on his elbows and look at the scene before him. Ethan sighs happily, eyes closing and head backing. He's in heaven, he thinks. But not entirely, as he looks at you still clothed.

"Want to... Want to finger you..." he pleas.

In front of a boy so desperate, and being incredibly horny, you slide your pant down, making sure your underwear went with it. Ethan lose every one of his braincells when he sees your bare pussy glistening with your love juice. He wanted to lick it bad. That's the only one fanstam he ever had that help him getting off so hard he can't move for a whole minute. He wants to drown himself in your juice. But you have others projects.

You guide his pointer finger to your lips. Ethan starts caressing it and smear your juice everywhere. His lift up another finger and start passing both of them on your lips.

"Here, you have to touch here." you say, pointing to your clit.

You move briefly to bring your genitals closer. You could feel each other's warmth emanating from your core. Seeing him try to touch you was so hot. He was listening to everything you said.

Soon getting the hang of it, he starts circling your clit, applying different pressure on it to see which one were you reacting the most to. Slowly, you quicken your pace on his hard cock. As if to reward him for being such a good boy. He was in a trance, eyes closing and opening. And when they opened, they were staring with a utmost care at your moving breast throught your shirt. Your nipples were hard and were poking through the fabric.

His eyes were glued to it. Understanding his want, you lift your shirt above your collarbone with your free hand. Ethan can't seem to take off his eyes of you. They're probably the first pair of breasts he sees in real life after all.

"Fuck... You're so pretty, love." you speed up on his shaft at his praise. "Fuck, fuck...

-You can touch baby.

-I can?"

He stops all movements to your pussy, your frown but let him discover his needs. It was his first time, you needed to let him have a little fun. His free hand touch one of your breast, massaging it then weighten it in the palm of his hand. He smiles like an idiot, an idiot so cute you let him do what he wants with you. His other, wet, hand pinch lightly your sensitive bud.

Your free hand slap his arm to make him understand he did it too hard. He sends you an apologatic smile.

"They're like stress ball."

Amused by the weird comparison, your chuckle. Still impatient to come, you guide your hand higher on his cock to caress his tip and rub it. His face contorts in pleasure, browns frows and mouth ajar. His forehead fall on your shoulder while his fingers go back down near your entrance. His hips were thrusting into nothing but your hand. Obscene wet noises were resulted. You were hot, terrribly hot but so was he.

Ethan's small puff of breath sends chill in your body. His whimpers couldn't be replaced with anyone else. Your hand was all wet and sticky, as was his. Ethan decides to enter once again two of his digits in you. Your head falls back and you sigh happily at finally scratching that itch in you.

"Curl your fingers, E." you whisper.

He hums and do as told. Curling his fingers in you, he starts to thrust them in and out at a slow pace, adopting the same sensuality you used to jerk him off. You accelerate, your hand no longer lingering on the entire shaft. Sometimes, you'd stop completly to hear him whine. Your thumb caressing his cock's veins.

"Baby please..." he pleas.

Ethan starts kissing sloppily your shoulder, your neck. You, on the other hand, take his hand to guide the thrust of his fingers, angling them correctly for them to touch that spongy spot inside. His fingers were long and thin, that was a part of him you absolutly loved. You always had a thing for pretty hands and his were beautiful.

"What do you want, love? you ask tenderly.

-Tell me you love me..."

You nudge his hair with your nose and he looks up. Staring at his eyes, you see them wet with tears. You kiss him instantly. Playing with his tongue with yours, your hand moving faster and faster. You stop the kiss to tell him you love him and he bites his lips, eyes closing.

His breath is jerky, uneven. You press his palm against your clit, rubbing it while you push his fingers inside you again. You feel a knot tighten. You won't last long.

"Tell me you love me.

-I love you E, you're doing so good.

-Again..."

You said it as many times as he needed to feel better. His hips stuttters, his cock quivers. His words are slurred to each other, resulting in incomprehensible blabbering. You don't lose the rythm, keeping the same pace until he'd eventually come.

-Love you so..." he whines.

His body tense, his breath stops. You can only hear the wet sounds your hand is producing. He doesn't utter a sound until spurts of cum smear on your hand and belly. Feeling at ease, he moans a last time from relief and breath again.

You're not far behind. Ethan being pratically knocked out, you grind on his hand. You close your thighs around it, ensuring it stay inside. Your legs are shaking, wave of hot and cold invade you. You plunge his fingers inside but, to your surprise, Ethan regains control and start pounding into you to get you to your end.

He kisses your neck while you finally come on his fingers, sweaty and disvesheled. You swear one last time when he withdraws his fingers. You stay here for a while, just hugging , breathing and basking in each other's presence.

After some minutes, you decide to go shower together. You end up finally getting a good night of sleep, cuddled in his strong arms.

The next day, Ethan and you had a stupid satisfied smile on your face. Both happy to be here. You kissed and confessed your love to each other all morning until eventually he had to leave for work. Sadly, you had things to do, too. Ethan offered you to stay and sleep here for a few nights because he wanted to stay close to you.

You liked this idea. Of course you liked it, you love Ethan. And to convince you further, he told you his roomate wouldn't mind. So naturally you accepted. You were embarassed at the idea of bothering his roomate but you decided you would just sleep here, and the day, you'd let the apartment free. It was his too, after all. Not only Ethan's. There is no way you'd let someone feel excluded in their own house.

Grabbing your phone, you click on your friend's number. You call her, the ringing echoes three times and no one answer. Somehow begrudgingly, you resume yourself at simply sending a text. Just for you to instantly forgetting your sorrow as she answers. The discussion was quite simple, she was telling you she was at her grandma right now. She was bored and wanted to know how you were doing.

'I'm going back to my dear haunted apartment, probably gonna die. Wish me luck.' you texted. She put a little more time answering this one. It's possible it triggered something in her. After everything she endured. 'nobody will hurt you as long as i'm alive' she said. She simply changed subjects after that. Asking you about the cute guy you told her about in the letters. And so you explained everything. Every time you tried to offer to call her, she'd decline. You were still sad she didn't want to talk to you but you were telling yourself you needed to be patient.

On a happier note, you decided to leave the place to go to your own apartment.

To one point, you should have known better than be too happy about your improving situation. Of course, it was well too soon for you to consider everything better. But you were probably stupid because the fall hit you much harder than you could've prepared yourself for. Oh, the pain you felt when reality had finally caught you. You thought you were going to die when you came back home to simply grab some clothes. (Ethan told you to do so.)

Your door was ajar. But it wasn't your doing. No, of course it wasn't you. Your apartement terrified you, why would you come here more ofthen than needed ? You felt your body freeze but you quickly overcame the feeling. That's it. You needed it to end. This fucking stalker had ruined you. You and your life. You sent a text to Ethan, telling him that if you do not call him after twenty minutes, he needed to call the cops. He didn't answer. He was at work. It was well past eleven by now.

Your heart was beating so hard you thought it was going to collapse on the ground, and you with it. Slowly, aware of every sound around you, you push the door. Your livingroom was as messy as you had left it. At one difference, the wall. Every frame you had put up on the walls were thrown away. Most of them on the ground and broken, with shattered glasses everywhere.

Why would the creep empty the walls ? To write on it. Of course they would write on it. You laugh bitterly for yourself. You couldn't see their stupids fucking signs anymore, so they had to improve. To force you to read their creepy obsessive text. You hear the crushing of a broken piece of glass, as if someone had stepped on it. But it wasn't you.

You're on alert. Every one of your senses on crisis. Was your mind playing tricks on you ? It was possible in this hellish house who did nothing but give you nightmares recently. You don't realize how you stopped breathing. Only calming when three long minutes had gone without another sound to be heard.

Nothing is here. You're alone, you think. Everything is good. You'll just grab your stuff and leave. Regaining your breath, you bring your attention back on the wall. Words were written on it in deep crimson red. Is that blood ? No, it can't be. Probably paint to give a creepy look that'll catch your attention. You approach the wall to better understand the message.

'She's not here anymore'

The need to throw up almost won. A dark feeling in your guts was telling you 'she' was your friend. But you didn't know. She responded to you, after all. You talked to her. So she had to be okay. She had to. You put your hand on your belly to soothe that want to vomit. You take big breath before finally leaving the livingroom. You quickly make your way to your room where you meet your bare bed. Where are your sheets ? What the hell ? But you don't want to stay longer so you throw clothes in your bag in a hurry.

The front door slam shut. And you know it's the end.

You already feel the tears drowning your sight. Trying to stay silent, you hide in your closet almost empty with how many times you came here to grab clothes. Your hand clasp against your mouth to avoid doing any noise.

Slow footsteps can be heard in the empty apartment. With your shaky hands, you fail to unlock your phone. Your vision is blurry, you can't touch the correct keys. The worst is that you can't see where the creep is. If they stay silent, they can enter the room you're in without you even noticing. And this idea is horrifying. But on another side, you'd preferred them to kill you by surprise so you don't have to affront them.

Your cries intensify, in your despair, you drop your phone straight on the ground. The footsteps stops abrutly. Three distincts knocks are echoing on the corridor's wall. They are coming toward you. You're fucked. They're coming ! What do you do ? What did you do ? Why is this happening ?

Kneeling like you could in the closed space, you reach your hand to grab your phone. As soon as your finger grazes it, the phone vibrate and your ringtone start playing for the whole building to hear. No, no, no, no, no ! Ethan. Ethan is calling you. You pick up despite everything but as soon as you do so, the call is cut short. Fuck E, why would you do that !

The criminal's footsteps are louder, quicker, heavier. They're running. They're running here ! You hold the closet door shut with your both hands, praying for your life. You only have knives in your kitchen, but it's too late now. If you go out, they'll see you. You realized at that moment that whatever you were doing, you couldn't win. That you never even stood a chance against them.

Everything was illusion.

Nothing was improving, you knew it, in fact. You were lying to yourself, searching comfort in a man that don't even understand the dept of the problem. Of your problem. And your friend ? You don't want to talk about her. You don't want to open your eyes just yet. You just want to live in your nice little lies you made up for yourself. You're nice with them, in fact, you like them. Nobody wanted to help you anyway. They could have saved you, you and her, but nobody listened.

Now, it's too late.

The closet start to shake. Widening your eyes, you realize that the creep had start to punch it with their bare fist. You don't give a fuck about being heard anymore, you're bailing your eyes out. Begging for them to let you go, screaming, yelling, calling for help. Holding the door for dear life as if it was going to save you, because in your head it was. But the door didn't last long.

A hole is quickly created in the door. You thought you'd see someone's face, wether it be a man, a woman, whatever. But you saw a white plastic mask instead.

Ghostface.

Why was a damn Ghostface chasing after you? Was it all a sick joke from the start ? You swear you were seeing his eyes boring into yours through the mask. You swore you already saw them somewhere. Ghostface tilts their face to the side, as if mocking you. They were telling you that you were stuck, that it was the end. You hoped they'd kill you.

You couldn't live like this anymore.

In the hole of the closet, Ghostface pass his gloved hand. The latter lay on your shaky face, on your cheek to be exact. You feel the fabric against your skin and think of biting his fingers off. No, you'll angry him. If he's going to kill you, that it be in the least painful way.

"Ethan, right ? Does he treat you so well you forgot about me?" his changed voice said. A weird and creepy robotic voice, one you knew you'd never forget.

You were moving your head left to right. You didn't know why. Probably to tell you didn't want to die, probably to avoid looking into his eyes. He laughs, sounding like a rumbling.

"Ending things right now would be such a waste."

No ! You thought you were finally free ! Why would he chases you down for so long without acting on it !? His gloved hand retract and the door slowly open in an acute creaking. The man is finally revealed before you. He was wearing the whole outfit, the big black robe and the hood.

"It was fun. I give you a gift to reward you for these beautiful screams."

And the knife.

He had a knife in hand. And it was tinged red. Something in you told you it was her. Suddenly, the red writings on your wall had a different meaning.

"I hope you like it, I worked extra hard for it."

Out of nowhere, Ghostface takes your hand, force it open, and lay in it something before forcing it closed. He laughs deeply. One of his hand pat your head mockingly before moving up.

"See you later." he said, swinging his knife in a playful manner.

You were absolutely paralyzed. You didn't know what happened. You stayed up without moving for whoever say how long. When your legs finally stopped shaking, you decided to look what the killer had gave you. Slowly opening your hand, your knee buckle and you fall to the ground crying silently at the sight of a nip of your friend's hair.

You curled up on yourself before completly laying down on the ground, tightening the hairs in your hand close to your heart. She was not here anymore. You wanted to fucking die.

Ever since, Ethan was forgotten. He had tried to call you so many times you had blocked his number. You spent the rest of the day crying in your hotel's room. You resented him. So hard. He didn't answer, he was the one calling and giving your position to a fucking criminal, to a murderer! And he didn't answer. He didn't help, like everyone else.

One day later, neighbors complained about a smell coming from an apartment. You didn't cry when they found your friend's dead body. You didn't cry when cops came to interrogate you. The caretaker having told them about you. Your eyes contained so much hatred in them when looking at him the cops had to let him leave to get him away from you. You didn't cry telling the cops how many times you went to see them to ask for help, nor how many times did they reject you. You didn't cry when they told you she was dead for at least a week, and that her boyfriend was missing. You had no tears left in you. It had simply ended you.

All your lies, every single one of them, destroyed. But you needed them. Of course you weren't talking to her by text, you never did. And fuck, you don't even want to know who was answering instead of her. It was so obvious how she never wanted to call, how she was never leaving her house. But the eye you saw at the peephole. The fucking eye...

You don't want to think about it.

Ethan tried to talk to you. He went to your hotel and found you. You didn't bother to move this time as you were done with your life. He fell to his knee and started begging and crying for your forgivness. Did you even love him ? Or were you, are you, just lonely ? Unfortunately, you decided to forgot the anger you had against him when you realized he was the only thing you had. Your only support. The only one knowing you were a victim. You spent the days crying in his arms.

"Shhh, shhh, I'm here, love. It's okay." he reassured you, again.

It was a routine, now. You'd sleep the days away and when you'd wake up, you'd find yourself crying inconsolably. Everything was your fault, you kept repeating in your head. She's fucking dead because of you.

You wanted to end it all but Ethan wanted you alive at every cost. He was brushing your hair, feeding, washing and changing you. You were a lifeless doll. Sometimes, his roomate would come and talk to you. Most of the times, you don't even realize he's talking to you, too lost in your thought to proceed his presence.

"It's okay, everything's okay."

Ethan hugs you firmly. Kissing your hairline. His t-shirt was damped. Your eyes were burning. Every time you closed them, the picture of your friend would come and haunt you, a new nightmare coming. You weren't able to think about something else anymore. But it was your fault. You put her in danger, you got her killed. It was you Ghostface wanted, not her. You got her killed.

"I want to leave..." you whispered in a voice so hoarse, so weak, it didn't sound like yours. His hand goes on the back of your head to pull you towards him.

"No, no my love. It's okay. I'll protect you. You won't be alone anymore." his leg goes over yours and crushes them to prevents you from moving.

Alone.

Have you ever been alone in your life ? No, he was here all along. He was watching you all along. You never were truly alone. He had your adress, your friend's adress, your number and even Ethan's name. No, he's always here. Lurking.

"Just... Stay with me, I'll protect you. Please, don't leave me." he begs.

He looked calm, surprisingly calm being given the situation. But you needed it, in a way. If he doesn't freak out, you don't need to. (you coudn't, even if you wanted to) He probably know what to do. It was too late for you but he could do something. Maybe. His behaviour was slightly comforting. It was dangerous, mostly for him. He probably didn't even know what he was doing, he probably didn't know what he was getting himself into, in fact.

But once, just for once, you wanted to be helped. You wanted someone to listen to your pleas. He was going to die, it was a fact. And yeah, maybe you were selfish, you were condamning him after all.

"I feel like I'm using you. Like I manipulated you. you say, mostly for your own conscience than for his safety.

-Use me, love. I don't care. Manipulate me, whatever. I swore I'd help you. And if I have to risk my life doing it, I'll do it. I love you. You don't know the things I'd do for you.

-Now, you're the one manipulating me...

It was true. He was forcing you to think you had a chance in getting out of this situation when you knew there were none.

-Oh baby, you have no idea how manipulative I can be to obtain what I want.

-If you say so." you whisper, drifting to sleep once again, knowing you'd wake up hours later in the same position, in the same problem and knowing you killed your friend.

#ethan landry #ethan landry imagine #yandere ethan landry #ethan landry x gn reader #yandere imagine #yandere ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x reader #yandere #yandere boy #yandere x reader #ethan landry fanfiction #ethan landry smut #ethan landry x y/n #vitzi9writings

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apriciticreveries · 5 months ago

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( cough cough ) officially introducing and revealing her and her final design, zhuli ! ! ( @alien-til-i-stage . . i offer you . . my pookie to add to the list . . also . . @solei-eclipse . . new s40 character drop hey . . maybe she could be friends with jiu and they could bond over being sleep deprived ( lili also sleeps kinda weird . . like in a coffin burial type position haha ) and @aakaneeee, i hope you like her ! : 3 )

( i also apologize again in advance rock ( @rockwgooglyeyes ), she came out looking a lot more dull then expected . . : ‘ )

——————————————————————————————————

but yeagh . . she’s my main girlie for s40 . .

although this is how her appearance canonly is now, her accessories, and hairstyle ( not her uniform though ) aren’t actually set on the one that’s shown in particular ! everyone is free to draw her with different aspects to her appearance ! ( this is mainly due to the actual fact that zhuli often changes her appearance in different elements every day ! )

i won’t reveal too much about her right now, due to the combined facts of how, unlike aurien, i want a lot of her character to be unknown at first, with it being unveiled slowly .

the other reason is that im still figuring out her character and most of her lore . . but i think ill have a chance to ponder, actually find out, and reveal some of her lore if some people ask about it ehehe . .

ill list the profile and other official information down below !

name : zhuli

birth date : 2 / 4 ( aquarius )

age : 20

body : 172 cm ( 5 ‘ 6 ) / 62 kg ( 136 lbs )

affiliation : 40 th anakt garden

likes : [ unknown ]

dislikes : change, gossip, teasing, taunting, loudness, crowds, rudeness, lying ( especially her own ), hypocrisy, failure, bragging, pompousness, complaining, overexaggerating, loneliness

special talent : cataloguing and recording

( don’t mind how her likes aren’t even listed and are one word long while her dislikes are 4 lines long . . )

other notable information :

she actually has a condition called prosopagnosia, or face blindness, where you have trouble identifying and differentiating faces . because of this, she often identifies others with different aspects .

( which she notably first struggled at, being overwhelmed with all the others she would see )

and again,

she’s actually registered in anakt for training to be an announcer . as a result of this, she takes completely different classes then her peers, only sharing a small few . she also has a very different schedule from everyone else .

i imagine there are a few others supposed to be in training as well, but the group arent actually with eachother that much, and rarely see eachother .

because of these combining factors she is often isolated from the others, and known as a bit of a mystery to her classmates .

although she wants not to be, she’s extremely disconnected from her peers . when she does interact with others ( as rare as it is ), she often faces them with a reserved and aloof attitude .

though id say that so far, she is a generally quiet, reserved, sensitive ( which she refuses to show since she views it as a vulnerable and weak trait ), stubborn, and short tempered, but softhearted and gentle once you get to know her a lot more . i think the first established relationship for her so far, would be with atlas !

her guardian is named guardian qiran, who was gifted zhuli .

that’s all for now ehehehe

( please let me know on your and potentially your other character’s thoughts on my pookie . . everyone’s also free to ask questions about her, and others on this account, but i will make a side account for my 3 girlies in s40 soon though hehe

and random fact : i actually was planning on just making lili have normal skin, but the more I looked at it, the more she looked uncannily related to solei . . so i reverted it back to what i planned before .

and another fact . . since para motivated me to actually watch spirited away again, i was actually planning to make a character based off no - face .

before realizing that i unintentionally might have made aurien with a LOT of his traits already . . now i might draw auri as no - face . . ( or atleast with an appearance more similar to his ) spirited away au with maybe lang ( @pwippy / @its-langgg ) as haku, solei as chihiro, and aurien as no face . . or maybe swap auri and lang i don’t know . . )

( side note : is it me or do maya ( @cloverandstuff ), zhuli, yumi, and all kioku look vaguely related . . )

edit : oops she came out a bit like kyo ( @bluemoonscape) didn’t she

#alien stage oc #alnst oc #alnst oc: zhuli

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weskeyboy · 1 year ago

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CONNOR X READER (nsfw)

This fanfic includes: AFAB (but I forgot that miss was for women so..pretend it doesn't say that?) Slight size kink mention, light choking

You have lived with your android for about 6 months now, ever since Connor retired from working with the police and also the cause of Markus making androids and humans live side by side, he now lives with you, handed to you by Hank. He gives the occasional visit when hes off work.

Connor is helpful however, hes like your butler in a way, always keeping calm and things clean, you hardly have to worry anymore unless its with your work, you decided to take his feild of work over, Hank was your relative afterall.

"What are you working on now miss?" Connor peered over your shoulder to see you ar your desk, buried away in tons of paperwork. You look up at him, blinking slowly as you sigh.

"You know you don't have to call me miss, you know what to call me by." You stated firm. "My apologies, my program is used to doing so due to my old job." Connor spoke all monotone.

"Im gonna need to take a break from this, Connor, check if any of my friends are free." You stood up, feeling blood rush to your brain, just the strech alone made you feel more energized for the day.

"Now checking..."

...

"I have found tbat your friend North is free, shall i notify her? Where would you like to go?" Connor stood woth his hands behind his back, having the usual puppy-eye look to his eyes as he stared. "You walked to your couch, a black leather bought due to the amount of spills you had made, Connor had cleaned up most of the time...you'd feel bad if he cleaned up *everything*..which is why you decided to get one so messes wouldn't be as difficult.

Connor had seemed to leave for soemthing, the light taps of his feet hitting the steps as he adventured, you looked over and watched him come back down from the steps, holdign the keys to your car.

"She has stated she wanted to meet you at the café downtown, do you wish to accept?" He asked, standing by the door all cute like, swaying his body slightly. You stare at him for a moment in thought. "Sure, im guessing right now?" You ask as Connor nods, making you sigh and stand up. "Give me a moment." You state as you rush upstairs to change

-Timeskip-

You and Connor are seated in the car, you weren't the kind to just splurge money on things, you still had the old cars from before they were so advanced.

The sky was dim, gray clouds washing over the what was soft blue sky, the evening light made cars passing by shine slightly.

The atmosphere in the car was very soothing, you sort of zoned out, the radio playing "Upgrade" by Jesse Murph all softly, like it was barley in volume. Your eyes were half lifted, only minimal traffic oddly enough.

"I like this song." Connor stated, looking iver at her with his curious eyes. You glanced at him for a moment and gave a nod. "I do too." You answered back in monotone.

There was silence for a moment.

"I believe that you have something on your mind, naturally, humans listen to music based on how their current emotion is." Connors hands layed in his lap all proper, you sort of stayed quiet.

Before you could even try to form a reply the café came into view, making you let out a sigh of relief, truth is you didn't want to reply to that. So you stepped out with Connor, which you honestly had to take him everywhere. He kept track of your sugar intake, telling you of its too much or too little.

North was sat out at one of the tables outside, leaned back and sipping on a coffee. "Hey! I already ordered something. I know androids dont need it but my human claimed it was good." She said dully. You simply smile and sit down across from her.

----------------------

Time had passed, it was the usual little conversation, nothing too far, you were just absent-mindedly listening until you heard your name be repeated, making you look up at her. "What?" You asked, North rolled her eyes. "I *said* my owner said i was good with sex, what..have you seriously not done that before?" She rose a brow.

Connor was sat in-between the two, he seemed to not be payong a single bit attention, he was only there to monitor afterall. The question caught you so off guard, so you stared bla lly for a moment. "What? I mean a lot of humans enjoy it.." she then glanced over at the not paying attention Connor. North looked back at you and smiled, making you frown.

"Im not doing that! Thats my android who helps me clean and keeps track of shit, not some fuck toy." She protested. North then snickered. "Im saying this *AS* an android, most of us were equipped with the knowledge of such things." She smiled, she seemed to be having a good time with it.

"Hey plus..thats gonna help you with..you know..the person." She reffered, making you furrow your brows.

You and your partner had broken up recently, it ended bad, a whole lot of yelling and overall toxicity in the relationship.

"Seriously?"

"Yes seriously."

"What? No."

"But...yes..?"

...

The two stared at eachother, you then sighed.

Look..yeah sure it wpuld help..sex with them was..not the greatest, but still! I think its..wrong." you whispered but North rose a brow. "What? They have human qualities, they have knowledge about it, they'll agree." She reasoned, you stayed silent for a moment. Yet even after a of this, Connor was still in his own little world..besides the yellow LED, but you didn't think anything of it.

---------------------------

After a while longer, you stood up and waved, Connor snapped his head over to you and stood up with you, seeing you were ready to go. You waved your goodbyes to North and stepped back in your car.

The car ride home was silent, even more silent then before, it was now a bit more awkward from the conversation you and North had last, just the thoguht of it made you bit the inside of your cheek.

Once the two of you made it inside, you were kicking your shoes off when Connor spoke up. "Miss?" He asked, making you look back. "You seem stressed..is there anything i can do?" He asked, his eyes showing concern..odd.

You shook your head. "Im fine..really i am." You furrowed your brows and instead started to walk upstairs, but he followed you. "Miss, i can sense that your nerves are much higher then normal at the moment." He edged on, making you groan and sut diwn on your bed. "Im fine Connor!" You stated a bit annoyed.

There was silence.

"Y/N...i know what i heard..." he said as he suddenly placed a hand on your shpulder, your wyes widened a bit. "What?" You whispered. "Let me help you. Let me make you feel good again." Connor whispered all caring, he knelt down to be level with you.

You were taken back, you couldve sworn he wasnt paying attention..was he? "Connor i.." you fold your arms over your chest. "I cant do-" "You can, just tell me what you want me to do..you understand what i mean dont you?" He asked as you slowly nod.

His LED went from blue to yellow, making him pause for a moemnt tben go back to blue. He suddenly leaned close, until his lips were beside her ear. "Lay down?" He asked, you sat still for a moment, fully trying to comprehend what he said before you.slowly back up, hesitantly oetring.your.body lay..however you were stiff, very tense overall. Connor took notice and pressed a ahnd against your stomach.

"Do not worry..it is ok to feel these things..even around an android..thats what those clubs are for." He explained as he started to rub his hand all along your stomach, he loomed over you as he moved his hands to your hips, gently massaging you. "You need to relax..i promise it'll be ok." He comforted.

You couldn't deny his artificial hands were comforting, you could feel them start to warm up..was that on perpouse? He pressed his thumbs against your hips, making you let out a soft whine. Connor looked up at you, taking note of how you responded and only snaked his hands uo further, running his hands down your arms, pressing circles and massaging you. "Thats good.." he whispered.

You suddenly had a flashback..the first time you and your ex had sex..it wasnt the best all honestly..you barley got off. You remember laying together after..only for a moemtn before they had to leave, skipping aftercare.

Connor noticed the decrease in behavior and let out a sigh, he suddenly grabbed you by the chin and stared down at you. "Give in to me..please..relax for once and let me take care of you miss please." He whined out, suddenly lifting up your leg to rest on his shoulder.

You looked up at him, suddenky suprised at his aggressiveness. Before you could speak Connor forced his lips to touch yours. His lips were soft, which was a plus, he never needed to maintain then either which made it all better.

You softened your gaze and finally gave in, letting your body sink into the soft plush sheets, after a few secinds you pulled away, softly gasping. "Connor..but youre my android...this is gonna be..embarrassing after.." Connor then looked confused. "Oh, i see, well..i can erase my memory of it afterwards if you want too, so that i dont remember. Would you like me to?" He asked as you gave a nod. "Uh..yeah.."

Shaking youre head a bit, you felt a gentle grip on your waist, followed by warm hands scooping your back, proping you up. "Can i tease your entrance? I know its an easy way to make humans..aroused easier." He offered, you nodded, only thing is...once you allowed him to take off what you had underneath, there was already wetness against you, making Connor a bit suprised. "You are..already aroused?" He asked, his blue LED flashing yellow for a moment, then back to blue.

"Do you ever stop talking?" You blurt out, Connors eyes widened for a moment. "Sorry." He stated, then looking down at himself. "I turned up my sensitivity while we were speaking, i...really enjoy your company miss.." he mumbled, making you stop and stare.

You reach up and place a hand on his cheek, stroking it smoothly. "Connor...just do what i need you for.." you whisper back with a grin. Connor hummed and pulled down his attire, his synthetic cock showing itself. "I can adjust size if youd like." He commented, you were a bit dumbfounded..it..can change?"

You shake your head. "No! No its fine..honestly..bigger tben what i ever had.." you admitted. "My..sex life-" "I already know, wasnt very good was it? I can arrange that.." he said as he suddenly spat artificial saliva at your entrance, you shivered and was caught off guard. "Androids are far better at these things.." he then leaned to your ear. "Ill treat you so good...you like being manhandled..dont you?" He asked, making butterflies rumble in your tummy.

Without another word, the android started slow entrance in, makign you jolt and squirm for a moment before he pressed on your chest. "Shh shh..its ok..let me know if it hurts.." he cooed, his eyes all relaxed as he started slow movement, making you suddenly grip his arm, at forat he paused, but seeing you didnt speak up he didnt say anything and continued.

"You deserve to be treated right..treated how you want..you feel..s-so good..my sensors are..overwhelmed." he stated, tilting his head back for a moment before looking back down again. "You feel so..warm.." he rambled, you on the other hand were a bit of a mess, heavy panting already due to the size..yet you didnt try to stop him.

"Mm Connor fuck..i-i cant even-:" you ran out of words, letting the thickness of him smother your walls, suffocating them really. Connor chuckled lowly. "Maybe i wanted that..you know the best part? I can release inside you..you wont get pregnant.." he suddenly pressed a hand against the aide of your neck, feeling of your pulse. "May i..squeeze here?" He asked.

You gulped but nodded, soon a hand pressed against your neck, adding oressure slowly over time, your head felt light, your eyes hitting the ceiling as you had to focus on *something*. "Mm-" you let out, making Connor let go since your cheeks were getting purple. "Apologies...i cant help myself..around you." He admitted, a sigh leaving him as you reached up to wrap your arms around his shoulders.

"Connor fuckin- i cant deny ove thought about this before.." you mutter, making him come down and oress his firehead against yours, both of you staring into eachothers eyes as you oant in sync, he sped uo and you couldve sworn you could see stars.

"I know...i can say the same thing..doesn't it feel good? Finally fucking your own android? I know you feel like its wrong..makes it better doesn't it?" He said as he pushed you into another kiss, feeling of your body with his hands, groaping and squishing your sides. Your entrance ached, clenching around him too desperately.

-------------------------

"Connor im-" "Close? Will you..let me cum in you?" He asked with his softness, making you grin, even in this setting he was always so soft and cute. "Cum in me..i wanna feel full.." you groaned, it was mostly pants and grunts coming from the two of you, so when he suddenly released inside you your mind went all fuzzy, groaning loudly as your back arched.

Before any of you spoke. Connor wrapped his arms around you, kissing on your cheek. "Did i satisfy you? May i request aftercare?" He instantly bomed with questions, you held up your finger to silence him, taking a moment to breath.

"Yeah..yeah that would be..nice.." you mutter, he wasted no time with getting uo to provide you with the thinhs you needed, and after he brung the two of you into a cuddle.

Maybe..its not so wrong?

#connor detroit: bh #dbh connor #smut #dbh smut #dbh markus #x reader

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justagalwhowrites · 7 months ago

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Hi Kit 💜 Im most of the way through a Lavender re-read. They're on the road and Joel’s feelings for Ellie are surfacing. It got me thinking… how would he have reacted arriving to the QZ to find out he had a 5 year old? 💔

Hi Bestie!!

AHHHH A REREAD? OF MY LIL FIC??? Dying 😭 That anyone read it at all let alone wants to re-read it just blows my freaking mind.

OK ON TO YOUR QUESTION!

I'd intended to write a lil fic of this at some point but the more I thought about it the more involved it got and, honestly, I don't want to dedicate that much time to that particular AU. But, because I've thought on it so much, here's some of what I see playing out. It's tucked below the cut (including a Drabble) because it's just so long and there's a scene as well as some bullet points for how I see things going for a while.

I hope you like it!

The Best of Us - Lavender AU

A/N: No real warnings, this is a Drabble. Lil baby Joel and Doc snack for you.

October 6, 2008

You couldn’t put it off any longer.

You’d shown Joel and Tommy around the whole of the QZ and you’d tried to give Joel space while you did it. You weren’t sure where you really stood with him, what he would want from you. But he’d kept your fingers clutched tight in his grip the whole day, so often pulling you closer so your bodies were aligned and you could feel him beside you, still tall and broad and strong. He was still so substantial, still so… Joel. Still the man you loved more than almost anything else, still the man you’d planned to spend your life with once, still the man who had left you when you begged him to stay. Still the father of your child, something you were still afraid to tell him.

He was still Joel and, while it felt like he was desperately keeping you close all day, you couldn’t be sure what that meant. It seemed like Joel and Tommy had been on their own for a while. You’d clung to Andrew, too, because he felt safe. You weren’t sure that Joel would want anything to do with you once he got settled in here. He hadn’t wanted anything to do with you before.

And all that was before the Evie of it all. You hadn’t mentioned your daughter to him. He’d had no idea you were pregnant when the world ended and you had no idea how to bring it up now. Not that you hadn’t thought about it over the years but, for some reason, you’d thought you’d have some notice. You didn’t expect them to just turn up in Boston. You’d expected them to show up in Dallas or Atlanta and you’d hear about it on the radio, coordinate a time to talk to them and see how they were and if they’d even be willing to come to Boston at all. If they weren’t, you weren’t sure you’d even tell Joel about Evie. It seemed like an unnecessary risk because you knew - knew - as soon as you told Joel she existed, he would do everything he could to reach her. She was a child he didn’t plan for, one he didn’t want with you, but one he would do anything for all the same. You would see if they wanted to come to Boston and, if they did, plan to meet them and talk to her in advance so she knew what was going on.

This had been so sudden. You’d told Evie precious little about her father. She’d asked about him, of course, when she learned that fathers were something children had but she didn’t. You explained that he was far away and that she may never get to meet him but that you knew he loved her very, very much. Because you knew that, if Joel was aware of her, he’d love her with everything he had. That’s who he was. You’d told her how much you loved her father and her big sister, that her father loved to play music and you found some of his favorite CDs at the black market so she could know his favorite songs, that her father used to build things. She didn’t know that he was here. You didn’t know how she would handle that and you didn’t have time to get her ready.

All you could do now was hope that it went OK for both their sakes.

“So,” you smiled a little, stopping in front of the apartment you’d helped secure for Joel and Tommy. “This is your place. I’m happy to help you get settled but there should be furniture and some of the basics inside, just whatever was left from people who were there before. FEDRA does a pretty good job of keeping the looting to a minimum in places they’re looking to house people and they check things over before someone moves in.”

Joel’s grip on you tightened and you took a deep breath, stomach in knots.

“I was hoping, though, that I might be able to steal Joel for a bit?” You looked between the two men. “Not that it hasn’t been great to see you, Tommy, and I’m so happy you’re here but…”

“Nah, Kid, I get it,” he gave you one of his signature crooked smiles before clapping Joel on the shoulder. “You two have fun.”

He got the key out of his pocket and headed up the stairs to his building, and you watched until he went inside. You turned to face Joel and found that he was staring at you, his deep brown eyes tracing over your face again and again.

“If it’s OK with you,” you said, looking at him. “I’d like to take you to my place? It’s not far and there’s… there’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

“Sure, yeah,” he said, lifting the hand that wasn’t holding yours but then seemingly thinking better of what he was going to do with it. “Whatever you want, that… We can do whatever you want.”

You smiled tightly and led the way, clinging to his hand. Who knows if he’d want to keep holding it once he found out about Evie so you were going to touch him while you still could.

“I’m up there,” you said, stopping at the base of the stairs up to your floor. “You… you should know that I don’t expect anything from you.” He looked confused but you pressed on. “It’s whatever you want to do, OK?”

“Alright,” he said, brows knitted together. “Don’t much know what you’re talkin’ about but…”

“It’ll make sense in a minute,” you said. “Just… Know that you don’t have to do anything.”

You led the way up the stairs and dropped his hand before taking a deep breath and unlocking your front door.

“…that’s against the rules though,” Andrew was saying as you came inside. He was sitting on the floor by your coffee table, a cracked version of Hungry Hungry Hippos sitting on the gouged wood and your daughter kneeling on a pillow across from him, her back to the door. Her dark curls hung to her hips and Andrew must have tied a ribbon in her half ponytail that morning that was now was hanging on for dear life. “You can’t just pick up the marbles, kiddo, that’s cheating.”

“But they weren’t coming to my side!” She whined. “It’s not fair!”

“Too bad for you,” he said, meeting your eyes and smiling a little before nodding in your direction. “Look who’s home!”

She turned so fast that her hair twirled behind her, her eyes - warm and brown and deep, so like her father’s - wide and excited.

“Mama!” She shot up from the table and rocketed for you and you caught her out of the air, picking her up and popping her on your hip. Her arms went around your neck and she buried herself in your shoulder for a moment before pulling back to look at you, a stern look on her small face. “Mama, you didn’t take me to school today, I missed you!”

“I missed you too, baby girl,” you said, tugging her closer so you could kiss her cheek. “But I had something very important to do this morning and you like when Uncle Andrew walks you to school.”

“I like when Uncle Andrew walks me AND you to school,” she corrected you. “It’s best when it’s both.”

“I agree, it is best when it’s both,” you smiled a little and nuzzled into her, breathing in the sweet smell of her hair and skin. “But there’s someone I want you to meet. Evie, this is… this is my friend, his name is Joel. Joel, this… this is Evie. Short for Evelyn.”

You looked away from your daughter, still holding her on your hip as you turned to fully face Joel. He was staring at her, his mouth slightly open, his eyes wet.

“Evelyn?” He asked softly, still watching her.

“Evelyn,” you said, taking a deep breath. “Evelyn Miller.”

“Hi!” She said brightly, starting to squirm in your hold. You set her down and she went to Joel, tilting her head all the way back to look up at him. “My mom doesn’t usually bring friends home, why haven’t I met you before?”

“He just got here,” you said, coming up behind her and resting your hands on her small shoulders, watching as Joel took her in. His eyes lingered on her eyes and lips and hair. You knew he was finding all the parts of him that existed in her - she had so much of him in her - and that he was coming to grips with it all. “He was outside for a long time.”

“Outside?” Her nose crinkled and she looked over to you. “But you said it’s dangerous out there.”

“It is,” you said. “That’s why he came here. I knew him a long time ago, before you were born.”

“Oh,” she said, turning back to Joel. “So did you come here to find my mom? Where did you come here from? Why didn’t you get here sooner? What…”

“Why don’t we give Joel a minute,” Andrew said, coming over and taking her little hand. “It’s almost bedtime, yeah? Think there’s a little girl here who needs to start thinking about pajamas…”

“But!”

“Just getting changed,” he said. “Then you can say hi to Mommy’s friend again and you can drive him crazy with all the questions instead of just me, c’mon.”

He scooped her up and mouthed ‘you OK?’ once she couldn’t see. You just nodded and he carried her back to her room. You watched them go before turning to Joel who was just staring at the hall they’d disappeared down.

“I have a fire escape, out the kitchen window,” you said, nodding to it. “It’s pretty private. We can go there and talk.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, OK.”

You opened the window and clambered out of it, Joel following behind you. You took a deep breath, looking up at the moon, giving Joel a second to process everything.

After a moment of silence, he spoke.

“You have a daughter,” he said it so quietly.

You nodded slowly.

“I do,” you said. “She’s four and a half today, she’s very excited about the half. Apparently those six months are vital at this age…”

“She…” he leaned on the creaking metal of the fire escape, his fingers clenched tight on the railing. “She was born… April then?”

“April 6th,” you nodded.

“Which…” he was fumbling for the words.

You helped him out.

“We made her my last trip to Texas,” you said quietly. You leaned back against the railing so you were looking at Joel instead of out to the other side of your apartment complex.

“Jesus,” he breathed, looking back over his shoulder toward your apartment for a moment.

“I know this is…” you took a deep breath. “It’s a lot. She doesn’t know that you’re her father and she doesn’t need to know. I know this wasn’t the plan before let alone now, especially not since…” You couldn’t bring yourself to say Sarah’s name. Especially not when you’d told Evie so much about her big sister through the years. “I don’t expect anything from you, Joel. You don’t need to be anything for either of us and I promise you I will take care of her. She’s my whole world, I’ll do everything I can to take care of her and she’s doing OK. Great, under the circumstances. There’s a preschool that some of the moms set up, she hangs out at the clinic with me in the evenings, Andrew does so much for her… I think she might like him better than me some days. I’ve taken care of her without you her whole life and I can just… I can keep doing that, it’s OK. You don’t need to do anything but I… I don’t know. I wanted you to know that she existed. That she has your hair and your eyes and sometimes she frowns like you which is so funny to me since she didn’t learn that, she couldn’t have, she just knows it…”

“You were pregnant,” he said softly. “During the outbreak, when everything… you were pregnant?”

You nodded, watching him.

“And you… you were alone,” he said. “You did all that… you made it here alone, when you were pregnant.”

“Not alone,” you said. “I found Andrew a few days in…”

“And he was, what, 12?” He asked, voice sharp. You flinched a little.

“He was 18 then,” you said. “But we took care of each other…” You watched Joel, his grip on the railing tightening. “What are you thinking?”

“That I fuckin’ left you to do this on your own,” he snapped. “That I’ve been out there while you were here with our fuckin’ kid! I should have been here this whole time, I should have been there, with you then instead of…”

“Joel,” you said gently, resting your hand in the middle of his back. He was so large next to you, the span of his shoulders so broad. “It’s OK. You didn’t know, it wouldn’t have been any different and she and I… we’re OK. We made it here, she’s got a roof over her head and food to eat and she’s loved, she’s so loved. She’s doing good.”

He was quiet for a moment but he didn’t pull away from you.

“Tell me about her,” he said, his voice pained. “What is she like?”

“She’s very smart,” you smiled. “She reads very well, she started reading on her own about a year ago. She loves games and she’s very invested in things being fair. She loves animals, we look at old National Geographics all the time, she’s obsessed with giraffes at the moment but she’s also completely blown away by the fact that people had pets before. She desperately wishes she could have a dog in the QZ.”

You looked at Joel, until his eyes met yours.

“She’s really the very best of us,” you said quietly. “She’s smart and she’s strong and she’s driven and she cares so deeply. When she loves something she just hangs on so tight, she’s so… She’s doing well and it’s OK if you can’t do this. I know it’s not what you wanted and it’s OK if you can’t or just don’t want to, I don’t expect…”

“I want to be there,” he cut you off. “She’s… she’s my… I need to be there for her. For her and… and for you. If you’ll let me, I don’t want to blow your lives up, baby, but let me be there for you and her, please.”

There was a knot in your throat that you couldn’t speak around so you just nodded quickly, feeling Joel’s eyes on you. His large hand found your face, cupping your cheek as his other arm wrapped around you, his fingers spreading wide over your lower back to cradle you to him.

“Please,” he said again, his eyes searching yours.

You put your arms around his neck and kissed him then, the feel of his lips on yours familiar and comforting, even after so many years. He held you close and tight and, for the first time since before the outbreak, you felt the heat of want flare in your stomach, the drive to feel him as close as possible strong.

“Let’s go find Mama!” Andrew said loudly from inside and you pulled back from Joel, his hands still on you.

“I don’t want to tell her who you are just yet,” you said quietly. “I want to ease her into it without it being too confusing but… want to come inside? Get to know your daughter?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I do.”

You smiled and took his hand, leading him back into your life.

Other moments that stand out to me in this AU

It takes Joel and Doc longer to fully get back together, she's very cautious because Evie is involved. She doesn't want to send her mixed signals or confuse her.

Doc and Andrew lived together for the first two years of Evie's life. Joel very much resents that she had her early childhood years with another man and not him as her father figure.

Andrew was there when Doc gave birth. He held her through it and was one of the first people to ever hold Evie. It was love at first sight for him, she basically became his whole baby in that moment.

Joel and Andrew's relationship is even more tense in this version. Andrew is SO protective of Evie and Joel wants to be the man Evie looks to but that takes time. There is far more direct competition here.

Joel and Doc still split when he finds out the details of the pregnancy (namely that she knew about it well before the outbreak and just didn't tell him.) He still blows up at her and blames her for Sarah's death.

They can't stay apart nearly as long, though, as Joel might leave Doc, he cannot leave his daughter. They have to see each other regularly to play pass the kiddo. This leads to a lot more sex and off/on periods between the two of them over the years.

Doc and Tommy's love affair either a) never happens or b) is VERY short-lived. She's the mother of his niece, the relationship is different even though his feelings are the same.

Tommy is far harder on Joel about Doc in this universe because that's the mother of his whole kid right there. Tommy never had much patience for Joel treating doc poorly to begin with but that patience is even more limited in this reality.

Doc stays fully on the hook for Joel more in this fic because they never really have distance. She never dates Derek because she can't ever move enough past Joel to be with anyone else.

I THINK they'd get back together in this version a lot sooner (I'm thinking post McCarthy? They'd sleep together after and Joel would, at that point, I think understand that this isn't going anywhere in a way he doesn't in the OG version) but it's not easy. Joel is still trauma brain Joel in a state of constant retraumatization. They'd fight a lot. He'd still subconsciously try to distance himself from her. It'd be rough.

He's SO protective of Evie. So so SO protective of her. She pushes back against him a ton in her teens because she desperately wants some for of independence and Joel will not let her have it. She sneaks out a lot. Given what happened to Ellie, it's low key a miracle she's not bitten in the QZ.

I'm not sure Joel would take Ellie in this reality. Since he has someone to live for besides Tommy I don't think he'd be as desperate to go on a suicide mission searching for him. But let's say he does, it would mean either a) also bringing Evie along or b) leaving Evie with Andrew and Jess. It would be ROUGH.

I think they would still have Sylvie in Jackson. I think Doc would have always wanted another baby but neither of them wanted to bring a child into the QZ. Jackson - and the person Joel becomes on the way there - makes that possible. This might be the only version of the story that has both Evie and Sylvie in it.

So yeah! I hope that's some insight into this version of the story.

Thank you for asking, Bestie! Love you!!

#send asks #kit answers #lavender #joel miller x female reader

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thighsoverlives · 1 year ago

Text

His Eyes

⋆ relationship ⋆

Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!reader

edit: sorry, i had to change this to coincide with the next part but if you would like a cod fic with gn reader please let me know!

⋆ summary ⋆

A mission gone bad. Your future ripped away from you. He holds you in his arms one last time.

⋆ notes ⋆

my first tumblr post and my first work since a couple months! im quite new to writing stories and writing in general so my apologies in advance! id love to get feedback on my work :)

⋆ warnings ⋆

death, heavy angst!

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

hope you enjoy! (●'◡'●)

His Eyes

Consciousness was fading in and out as you pleaded with every fiber of your body to just stay awake.

He was knelt over you, staring into your eyes. You had never seen him scared. But yet, here he was, holding you in his arms begging you to stay.

Tears were streaming down your face, and the taste of iron fresh on your tongue. Though you'd never admit it, you were terrified. Sleep attempted desperately to pull you away. It was so tempting. You'd be away from all this pain, all this suffering.

Just before you could drift away into tranquility, he was screaming your name, shaking your frail structure.

"No, no, no, you can't leave. Don't you fucking dare leave." pain laced his voice, making his once gruff dialect seem slurred. Delirium was creeping in. It was funny. He was the one who was substantially older, and yet, you were the one sat here dying. Age should've taken him far before it would ever take you. But life was like that, unfair, cruel, and jaded.

Your voice was hoarse, dry, strained. "Simon, I'm so tired." You looked into his eyes, the prettiest color of blue you'd ever seen. Like the sea, like a clear sky on a warm summer day. You remember just hours ago, staring into those beautiful orbs, seeing your future within them.

You felt death's hands grasping for you, pulling you away from your body. You were trying so hard to fight it. To stay with him a little longer. You knew it was futile. He knew it was futile. Evac was hours away, and you were bleeding out in his arms.

How this mission managed to get so screwed up, you were unsure of. It was supposed to be simple and easy.

You were pleading with God to just let you stay. Stay for a little longer. Stay so that you could look into his pretty eyes and see your future again. Stay so you could see yourself with him. You'd have a quiet little house out somewhere rural. Maybe you'd have a cat or a dog. Maybe you'd have children. But despite all the maybes, you knew for sure that he'd hold you in his arms and smile. He'd look at you with those eyes, so full of love, you couldn't even begin to comprehend how someone could love another that much. And you'd look back at him, and you'd feel safe and warm and fuzzy. He'd lean down and whisper in your ear with that accent that you loved so much. He'd tell you that all would be okay. That he wouldn't leave you and that you were safe with him. That you were important, that you were loved, and that he was proud of you. And despite all odds, you'd get your happy ending.

But life wasn't kind. Life wasn't generous. Your quiet little house out somewhere rural wouldn't exist. He wouldn't be able to hold you and tell you everything would be okay. You wouldn't get the opportunity to have a dog or a cat or even a child. Life was cruel and unforgiving.

You were reminded of that as a single bullet ripped through his chest. And then another. And another. He slouched, leaning over you. Somehow, the enemy had managed to creep back. Somehow, they had managed to find you in the abandoned building you'd been hiding in. And somehow, they'd managed to catch Simon Riley off guard. It should've been a dream. He should've left you by now. He should've accepted that you were beyond saving and gotten himself to safety. Why was he laying on the ground next to you, bleeding out, just as you did?

You looked into his eyes, watching the light slip away. In some horrible, messed up way, it gave you comfort knowing that he was dying with you.

You reached out, holding his hand. A weak smile was all you could muster. Your voice was shaky, your breath uneven. The blood was pouring into your lungs, drowning you from the inside. It was hard to breathe. Your last ounce of strength was spent imagining the house. The child, the dog, the cat. Him holding you. Him looking into your eyes. You held on to the image of his eyes. His beautiful, beautiful eyes. Hot, salty tears rolled down your cheeks. "I love you, Simon."

Sleep was tempting you. This time, you were too weak to refuse. As your eyes fluttered closed you thought you heard him say it back. The first and last time he'd ever say "I love you."

Such a pity he hadn't said it earlier.

#simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley #angst #heavy angst #cod mw2 #mw2 2022 #cod x reader #cod x you

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mybiasisexo · 1 year ago

Note

Hiiii! It's me again! Can I ask you from your drabble game :) #5 with Kai please :) Thank u in advance author-nim ✨🥰

Familiar 🕛

Genre: angst | power!au Pairing: Kai x f.Reader Length: 1.8k (again dont ask) Warnings: Language | Alcohol Consumption

a/n: i just feel like you wanted something soft and fluffy and cute. And tbh i wanted that too. I really did. But one thing about me????? when you put in a request, expect the unexpected~~. Im on an exo power kick apparently so there is that. I hope yall like this one i think its v interesting 🤔 But yes, thank you for requesting ☺️

DRABBLE GAME | MASTERLIST

Jongin and Chanyeol found themselves in a familiar place they hadn’t been to in years.

‘We really did jump,” Chanyeol said in awe, taking in the old bar they would frequent when they were much younger adults than they were now.

Jongin felt jittery, like this wasn’t right. He had been told that his power could do much more than allow him to travel the world. He could travel dimensions, travel other worlds….

And time travel apparently.

He had no idea where exactly they were. Suho had told him to think of a time before shit hit the fan, before they lost everything.

“Excuse me,” Chanyeol called to a bartender. “Silly question, but what’s the date today?”

The bartender took him in wearily. Probably wondering if he needed to be cut off or not.

“Please,” he pressed. “It’s important.”

She sighed. “It’s the fifth of September. Twenty eighteen.”

“Twenty eighteen,” Chanyeol repeated with wide eyes, locking them with Jongin. “Bro, you fucking did it.”

“That’s too far back,” Jongin said between clenched teeth. He was aiming more towards 2021. Three years before The Attack.

“But there’s a reason why you sent us here.”

Chanyeol may be right about that, but he couldn’t understand it himself. The reasoning behind this specific time, this specific spot.

But then he heard a recognizable laugh and all the color drained from his face.

Chanyeol heard it too, throwing him a look full of warning. But Jongin ignored it, walking deeper into the dim building in search of the voice.

At a table, surrounded by a group of familiar faces, he saw the reason why he brought himself back here.

You.

The love of his life. The one who sacrificed everything that day. The one he lost.

You were there. Alive. Laughing. Unaware of the journey you were about to embark, of how drastically the world was going to change.

You were the reason why he even attempted to time travel.

He took a step towards the table, but then Chanyeol had him pressed against a wall, his forearm dug into Jongin’s neck.

“We don’t know what will happen if we interact with them,” he hissed. “We’re here to observe. To search for the red force. To discover the traitor.”

Jongin’s eyes were frantic as he tried to look at you again. “They’re here. The traitor is sitting at that table as we speak!”

“Yes,” Chanyeol agreed gravely. “With your wife. Your dead wife.” Jongin went still in his grip. “Shit, we might already be here. What’ll happen it we bump into our younger selves?”

Jongin wasn’t sure. He didn’t understand how any of this stuff worked. He just knew that it did. But, he couldn’t accept Chanyeol’s words yet. He searched his memories, wondering if he had met you, by now. But, you hadn’t. It wouldn’t be for a moment still.

“We’re not. I haven’t.” He swallowed thickly, which was hard to do with Chanyeol’s arm still pressed against his neck. “I haven’t met her yet.”

Chanyeol sighed. “This isn’t a good idea, Jongin.”

“Please, just let me see her,” he begged. “It’s been over a year, Chanyeol. I promise I won’t do anything, but I need to talk to her. I need to hear her voice again. I….”

He was so messed up without you. A ghost of the man he used to be. He swore he died the same night you did. Chanyeol saw that. Saw what the loss had done to his partner.

It was reluctantly, but he let him go, ignoring the relieved smile that bloomed on Jongin’s face. He pointed at him. “No funny business. We have a mission. We have to stick to it.”

“And we will,” Jongin was quick to say. “But for today, let’s just be normal, while we still can. This is the only peace we’ll ever get again. Let’s enjoy it.”

Chanyeol took in the bar that no longer existed in their timeline. Took in the smells and voices, and Jongin saw just how tired his friend was. How the war had drained him. He’d lost just as many people, had suffered just as much.

“Okay,” Chanyeol fully relented. “Let’s order some drinks.”

After getting a couple drinks, the two of them made their way over to the table you were sat at. Jongin couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You were even more beautiful than he remembered, nearly glowing under the yellow lights ahead.

“Mind if we join?” He asked, looking nowhere else but at you.

“Oh?” Another girl at the table, your best friend he realized, said. She took in the tall handsome men. “We could really enjoy the company.”

Jongin wasted no time sliding into the empty chair beside you, thankful for that. He sat a cup in front of you and you studied it for a brief moment before braving a sip.

Your eyebrows raised when it hit your taste buds.

“This is my favorite. How did you know?”

He grinned knowingly at you. “I could tell you were a woman with class.”

You laughed breathlessly at that, a bit intimidated under his intense stare. Still, he was ridiculously handsome—handsome enough to ignore the red flags. So, you introduced yourself.

“Jongin.” He held onto your hand and nearly sobbed at the familiar contact. When you went to pull away, he refused to let go. You giggled before shyly turning back to your drink.

Chanyeol cleared his throat, and Jongin remembered himself, finally letting your hand go.

He took in the others at the table. There were three girls and two men, including you. The men he recognized instantly as Kyungsoo and Baekhyun.

It was one of them, the traitor. The one who gave the Red Force their plans, leading to the attack that changed everything, that killed Jongin’s wife.

No. He wouldn’t think about that right now. Not when he had you back.

“So, you come here often?” Your best friend, Kim Jiwon, asked. Jongin was suspicious of her as well. She was a lousy friend, and was rather close to Kyungsoo. She also disappeared after the attack.

Chanyeol and Jongin locked eyes.

“We do,” Chanyeol said, sipping the brown drink he had ordered for himself. He closed his eyes as it coated his tongue, savoring the old taste he once enjoyed.

“Usually after work. A little treat after a hard day.” Jongin supplied.

“We do too!” You said excitedly. He fought his smile at your joy. That was something you would always say everytime you ended up at the bar.

“Oh?” He played off. “What is it that you do?”

“We’re engineers,” Baekhyun spoke up. “We work for the government. We build—”

“Planes,” Kyungsoo interrupted.

Jongin lifted an eyebrow at you, questioning the legitimacy of Kyungsoo’s answer. You shrugged. “You can say that.”

The night continued on. The table went round for round on drinks. Jongin was finding himself getting drunk for the first time in years. He was never much of a drinker to begin with, but today he needed all the alcohol he could get.

“I’ll have the Flying Dutchmen,” he ordered to the waitress, who rolled her eyes at the mostly juice drink. “And my wife here will have another Pink Lady.”

Chanyeol kicked his leg. He pouted.

You tilted your head curiously. You were pressed so close to him, he could feel your chest rise and fall against his arm. “Your wife? You know, that’s the third time you’ve called me that tonight.”

“Is it?” he asked, falling more into your space. You allowed him.

“Yeah,” you smirked up at him. “Why is that?”

“Because,” he slurred, nose touching yours. “I’m gonna marry you one day.”

“You don’t even know me,” you pointed out, but he caught how breathless you sounded, how warm your face grew.

He hummed. “Not now maybe, but I already know that I love you.”

You watched him for a moment, appearing very sober as you wondered if this was okay. If he meant what he was saying, and wasn’t being a creep. Gorgeous be damned. Telling a stranger you loved them was definitely a red flag.

You swallowed thickly. “Love? That’s…that’s a serious word.”

He nodded slowly, staring at the sensual shape of your mouth. God, he wanted to kiss you. He wanted to show you just how much he loved you, to tell you he never stopped. Ever.

“And I’m very serious when it comes to you.” His tone revealed as much.

Your drinks arrived, and to his satisfaction, you didn’t turn away from him. “Prove it.”

And maybe it was the drinks that made you so bold. Or it was the way the handsome stranger looked at you. There was… a sadness in his eyes. A sadness and a devotion that you found both startling and intriguing.

He went to do just that. His lips brushed against yours when his friend called his name. A reminder.

“Maybe it’s time to go,” his friend—Chanyeol, you recalled—suggested.

“But we just got our drinks,” Baekhyun whined.

“At least finish those first. We have to go soon too. Work in the morning.” You laughed awkwardly under the weight of the tall man’s gaze.

“One more drink,” he said, but his attention was on the man beside you, who couldn’t seem to focus on anything other than you.

He was a bit more solemn than a moment ago. He didn’t reply, instead lifting his drink and clinking it against your own before chugging it empty.

“Jongin!” You gasped, disappointed that he finished it so quickly. Was he that eager to leave you?

He shivered before getting to his feet. Not even gracing you with a goodbye before he was heading to the door.

“We’ll take care of the bill,” Chanyeol said as he followed his friend.

No. There was no way you were going to let the man who just told you he was going to marry you walk away without even a goodbye.

“Wait!” You called after them, running past Chanyeol to grab Jongin’s sleeve.

He stopped walking immediately. The men shared a glance as Chanyeol walked past, but didn’t say anything.

Finally, he turned to you.

“Will I see you again?” You couldn’t help but ask. It was unlike you to chase after a man, but Jongin was different. You could tell.

He threw a look over his shoulder, at Chanyeol, and then grabbed your face, pulling you in to kiss you.

You had never felt something like this before. You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close to you as he kissed you as if a man reunited with a lover after being torn away from them. Like he wanted you.

Like he loved you.

When he finally pulled away, with difficulty on both parts, there were tears in his eyes.

“I’ll see you soon,” was all he was able to get out before he stormed out the door.

You swore you saw him vanish into thin air before it closed.

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astarionass · 18 days ago

Text

ive been meaning to talk about my warden, iveani ashavise mahariel.

my darling, my love, the light of my life, the start of my love for the da universe. specifically, i wanna talk about how her fight with the archdemon went down. lots of canon divergence and bending canon under the cut!

so, as far as the actual game dynamic went? my game glitched. Hard. it freaked out and cut all three of my party members from me so i had to fight the archdemon alone, and it became my canon because i was not throwing away my two and a half grueling hours fighting that stupid dragon for nothing. alistair did the ritual with morrigan, so iveani got to live. its fine. its all FINE (narrator voice: it was not, in fact, fine!)

now, for how it actually happened? iveani is 27 when the dragon fight happens. she’s engaged to zevran, she thinks she has a good ass life ahead of her, the old god baby ritual is done well in advance of the final fight, but alistair and morrigan both accidentally forgot to inform iveani that it was done and successful. iveani doesnt know, right?

her and alistair had a huge fight about it. iveani reasoned that if no one had to die and everyone got to live and go home happy and alistair didnt even have to interact with the kid what was the fucking harm right? (iveani absolutely feels guilty after the fight, but at the time she was more concerned about making sure everyone got to go home). but because tensions were high, no one was communicating with each other

a few days before the final fight, iveani was sitting watch one night, near delirious from insane amounts of stress and lack of sleep, watching the camp. it was a rare moment where everyone else was finally sleeping peacefully for once, and she heard it.

the calling.

she panicked, silently of course, because surely she was not about to die right before she had a chance to live. right? she had at least 30 years, theres a lot you can do in 30 years! she wants to marry zevran! she was set to be bonded to tamlen, and that turned out horribly, and now shes gunna be taken from zevran too?

she kinda turned it over in her head for a few hours deciding what to do with this information. she eventually decided, you know what? fuck it. if im going down im going down swinging. she gathered up her gear, and left camp. she left her dog to watch over her companions, left no note, and bailed. she was letting the calling lead her to where she needed it to, and decided that alistair would likely be not far behind her and he was more likely to explain what was going on. she left no note, no explanation, she gazed one last time at zevrans peaceful face as he slept, mentally said her apologies, and walked into the night expecting to be dead in a few days time.

she could not of been more wrong.

see, iveani was not actually experiencing the calling. her extreme levels of stress and sleep deprivation paired with the trauma she’s suffered as the leader of this whole shebang manifested as hallucinations. as a sufferer of ptsd induced hallucinations, it sucks! iveani is not thinking clearly though, how can she? she thinks she’s dying.

eventually, as luck would have it, her instincts lead her to the archdemon’s lair. at this point, the final battle area of the game is being absolutely swarmed with darkspawn. whatever amount there is in the game, double that. its bad. its nasty. everyone is fighting to stay alive, and theyre all swarmed so no one has time to go look for iveani. they just have to hope and pray she’s okay and isn’t dead somewhere

(shes going to wish she was dead by the end of this)

iveani spends several grueling hours whittling down that archdemon. just herself, her blades, some poisons, and pure adrenaline fueled savagery. as soon as she strikes the final blow, she expects to feel the sensation of death wash over her. it doesnt

(meanwhile, darkspawn start breaking off at the battle site, and it clicks to everyone there that the archdemon has to be dead, and somehow, miraculously, somewhere iveani is alive. that reinvigorated the team and they all doubled down on clearing out darkspawn as fast as they could so zevran could start to go searching for her)

iveani is kinda flabbergasted. she’s made her peace with death, and shes still here? in her delirium, she briefly makes the connection that alistair and morrigan mustve completed the ritual. thats the only explanation she has.

she sits in shock for several more hours after the fact. she doesnt know how long she’s been down here (days). shes confused, tired, and exhausted. she passes out, severely injured, and eventually wakes up an unknown amount of time later to make her way home

halfway through the deep roads on her journey back to the surface, she encounters her party. zevran is at the lead, manic with stress and pure desire to just find her (alive, he tells himself, potentially foolishly), and he has alistair, morrigan, wynne, and leliana with him. alistair, to leas the way, and morrigan and leliana and theyre her best friends, and wynne because no one knows what state she’ll be in when they find her and having a healer readily available is the best bet. iveani thinks she’s hallucinating again, until the full weight of zevran slams into her as he’s babbling near incoherent in antivan as hes constricting her to his chest. hes elated, iveani is confused, and the other four are staring horrified at the state of her

she looks like shes been chewed up and spat out and then stomped on. she looks awful. alistair has to pry zevran off of iveani so wynne can tend to her. the minute wynne starts doing her thing, iveani collapses unconscious. zevran freaks, wynne assures him that honestly its best if iveani is asleep for this. zevran stubbornly carries iveani back to the surface even though alistair has more of the bulk suited for this. its slow going because of this

iveani sleeps for several days, monitored by wynne and morrigan both, and its during this time that they all learn iveani is pregnant. is her pregnancy surviving any of that viable? no! absolutely not! but this is my story and plot armor and all that. that baby eventually grows up to become gilraen, who is rook, leader of the veilguard.

when iveani does come to, its to zevran tenderly rewrapping one of the more severe wounds, and he rips into iveani for what she did, but hes blubbering the whole time and switching back and forth between trade and antivan so iveani is confused (and making a mental note to learn antivan)

iveani is then given the rundown of her injuries, healing process, update on battle and loss count, etc, and then is dropped the bomb that she is pregnant. iveani is horrified. she would not of been as stupidly risky as she was if she had known (or so she likes to think).

iveani is tired. shes beaten and battered down mentally, and couldnt believe she was fighting a war for shemlen that she didnt have a choice in fighting, let alone LEADING. with leliana’s help, she’s able to go incognito. to the public, its made aware that the hero of fereldan died in a freak accident, and zevran also goes dark after his talon murdering spree in awakenings. both of them settle down in orlais (which goes over Real well during the ventori take over of wardens in orlais)

iveani gets to live happily with her family, but history will remember the hero of fereldan as being a dead elf. she prefers it this way

and thats the story of how one dalish elf singlehandedly ended the fifth blight. history books will never get the story right, but shes okay with that. she gets to be a normal person in thedas again, what the shemlen paint her as is now none of her concern

#talking mari #iveani mahariel #WHEW thats been sitting in my brain for AWHILE #so glad its finally out in the real world #dao #hero of ferelden

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lookismaddict · 2 years ago

Text

Lookism Chapter 441 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made. The sole purpose of this is to provide summaries/reviews for each chapter so if you don’t want to see the rest of it, then just keep scrolling. It’s your choice.)

I really said that I was going to work on this chapter review but I didn't do it until a few days after the chapter has been posted online... Woops, my bad. (My posts will be queued for now, so I didn't post this CURRENTLY. Sorry in advance if I randomly post at around 4 in the morning or something.) Most of you guys probably already saw this, but you know what? Time to bring dinner onto the table! 🍲

H U H ? 👁👁

UMMMM… HELLO??? I stg, if he's referring to Goo... 😭 But oh man, if he were to replace Goo, I wonder how Gun is going to react. And I already heard ab the rumors going around, regarding to what PTJ mentioned before. Even the thing about someone's death, and whatnot. Yes, I know man. 💀 But in all honesty, this Charles Choi arc though... I like it so far. Minus... the death and Charles Choi himself because it's a catalyst for an event that'll happen in the future. Also, yes Charles, you piece of shit. Jichang won't ever think of joining you lol. Even if he agreed, what is there to benefit if he were to side with you? 😀

I don't think anyone has commented on what Charles Choi said about Jichang being a strategist, and he's right about that. Unlike many fighters, I noticed how Jichang is very meticulous when it comes to fighting. He assesses his opponents, like where to properly attack and he notes their weak points and people's most vulnerable spots to aim at, which makes his Battle I.Q. much bigger in comparison to the other First Generation Kings, who just fight with a passionate drive with fists during their fights. (Reminds me of current Daniel.) He's very clever too, and that's one of the reasons why I like Jichang's character.

O K A Y. OLD MAN. SHOWING OFF YOUR NONEXISTENT LEFT ARM, I SEE.

GODDDDD JICHANG, GET UPPPPP MAAAAAANNNNNNNNN. AAAAAAGGHHHH 😫😫😫😫

BRUHHHHHHHHHHH COME ONNNNNNNNNNN!!! I STG, IF PTJ DOESN'T LET THIS MAN WIN- <- My OG reaction 😀

YOU TELL HIMMMMMM JICHANG!!! 😩😩👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

YES JICHANG PULLED OUT THE SHTICK AND LET IT ROLLLLLLL!!! Oh fuck. Wait, WHAT??? W H A T ????????

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?! HOW TF DID THAT HAPPEN BRUHHHHHHHH??? I THOUGHT YOU GOT THIS IN THE BAG, JICHANG!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I'M GONNA GO AND FLIP A BUNCH OF TABLES BC WTFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!

Ok, for starters... Don't they have those DNA test thingies where they investigate thoroughly in crime scenes? Bruh, Charles Choi was HOLDING the gun. CAN'T THEY NOT IDENTIFY HIS OWN FINGERPRINTS??? Also, it's understandable that he might have tipped the police too since he got power. UGGGGHHHHHH PTJ, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS LET THE VILLAINS GET AWAY WITH THEIR CRIMES??? LIKE VIVI GETTING THAT HAPPY ENDING WITH XIAOLONG EVEN THOUGH SHE DOESN'T DESERVE IT. I SWEAR, JICHANG'S BROTHERS ARE GOING TO SIDE WITH DANIEL AND GET REVENGE ON CHARLES CHOI. *s i g h s* Well, anyways... It's time to send them off...

WHY IS THIS MAKING ME SOB BRUHHHHH. 😭😭😭😭😭 UGGHHHHH, WHEN THEY BOTH DIED I REALLY CRIED FOR THEM BECAUSE I ALREADY GOT AN EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TO THE TWO OF THEM. 💔

Nah, because this mf will surely get hit with MASSIVE karma. I'm just waiting for that sweeeeeeeet sweet day. (Sorry Crystal, but your dad's a dick. 🤷🏽‍♀️)

PLEASE DANIEL, AVENGE THEM!!! UGGHHHH IM STILL DEVASTATED OVER THEM. 😭😭😭

I do admit, Jinyoung DOES look good leaning on a motorcycle while smoking on a cig. Also, IDK WHY, but Daniel looks so cute carrying all of those boxes behind him. Honestly, this interaction between Jichang and Daniel looks like Jichang is sending Daniel off to night school or something LMFAO. The boxes looks like a big ass backpack, ngl. ALSO, YES JICHANG, DON'T WORRY ABOUT DANIEL. LEAVE IT ALL TO HIM TO FIND JINYOUNG PARK AND TO BEAT CHARLES CHOI TO A PULP! 😎👍🏽

WAIT... HOLD ON NOW. SO YOU'RE TELLING ME, THE "GRIMM PLASTIC SURGERY CENTER" IS IN GANGNAM-GU ??? Hold up... Tell me, this isn't where Mangi from Viral Hit went for his plastic surgery on his nose...

Tbh I'm not caught up to the recent chapter of Viral Hit, but this was in Viral Hit's Ep. 74 on Webtoon. So... could it be, that he... went there to get plastic surgery...? 😀 (I must be trippin. If I'm incorrect, then I apologize. That part caught my eye while I was reading and I had to tie it back to the First Affiliate because... I FOUND THAT COINCIDENTAL. LEAVE ME ALONE-)

Yup, sounds about right. 💀

Omg? THE HOT DOCTOR IS BACK!!! I KNEW IT, HE'S TOO GOOD-LOOKING TO BE FORGOTTEN AS A MINOR CHARACTER!!! 😳😳😳

To be honest, he looks like he could pass as Eugene and Yoosung's older brother or something. BUT, HELLO??? 1ST AFFILIATE PRESIDENT?????? AEEEUUUUGGGHHHH THIS HOTTIE IS THE 1ST AFFILIATE PRESIDENT??? I'M- 😩😩😩😩

You see... he is one MIGHTY FINE, DOCTOR. 🥴 I wanna see if Doc got some fighting moves or not. 👀 If he does, then he got me S O L D. 🔥

Ok, but this chapter's focus really was on Charles Choi and whatever he did. I'm so eager to see him get beat up by everybody. Oh, but hold on now... If Tom Lee found out what REALLY happened, then that would be a problem too. Hehehehe 😈

Time to wait for the next chapter! ✌🏽

#lookism #lookism 441 #lookismaddict #lookism webtoon #lookism manhwa #lookism spoilers #lookism spoiler #lookism memes #lookism meme #charles choi #kwak jichang #RIP Jichang & Bakgu #<- twt announced it not me #noh bakgu #daniel park #park hyungseok #baek hangyul #<- ALSO HOT DOC IS BACK???#WHAAAAATTT

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tuffgreg · 3 days ago

Note

You've had emmrich/merrick navigating kink now try them navigating cooking a meal together (or other home peculiarities they both have that they have to get used to)

a little emmrook cooking early in merrick and emmrich's friendship -- im going to be absolutely insufferable and swap between merrick and rook depending on whether i think merrick has told emmrich his name yet at any given point in time lol

ty for the prompt!! there's a couple more in my inbox and i will fill them in the next day or two ehehe

emmrook -- cooking -- 911 words - gen, developing relationship

“You know, you’re pretty good with a knife.”

They’re cooking together, or trying. Rook has helped, when his attention can be diverted long enough to chop celery or wash potatoes. Now he’s lurking at Emmrich’s side, attention single-mindedly focused on Emmrich’s hands as he cubes the potatoes in question.

“You’re meant to be sautéing the vegetables, Rook,” Emmrich says dryly, even as he fights against the urge to preen under the intensity of Rook’s attentions and the charm of his flattery. Rook looks up, eyes heavy-lidded and as distracting as always – deep brown and bright blue, framed by long lashes that add to the deceptive sweetness of his soft face. “Thank you – a rare intersection of our professional experience, I imagine. Stir, please.”

It wins Emmrich a snort of laughter, and Rook slides behind Emmrich far closer than he needs to as he makes his way to the pot on the stove – fingertips skimming along the linen of his vest, crowding Emmrich’s side as Rook nudges a pile of chopped leeks and vegetables and sprigs of thyme around in the bottom of the pot. “You get to cook a lot?”

Rook phrases things like that a lot – you get to? Emmrich would like to think he’s overthinking it, but he’s seen Lucanis stare at Rook the same way he feels he must as well. You’re allowed? You can do that?

Emmrich doesn’t have it in him to follow up. Rook’s quite proud of being a Crow, but there’s a certain line of questioning that makes him skittish, like a bird prepared to take flight the moment the breeze winds through its branches unexpectedly. “Not as often, as a senior mage. There are cooks, at the Necropolis, but I’m still perfectly capable of fending for myself.”

Rook stirs, still watching as Emmrich cuts up chunks of another potato. “I’m pretty good at picking ingredients out, but the cooking part…” He huffs out a faint laugh. “I think Viago thought it was cheating, if I knew what was in the food in advance.”

He watches as Emmrich starts scooping up piles of potato into the pot with the rest of it. “Figuring out if someone added something or just fucked up with the potatoes.”

“Solanine,” is Emmrich’s idle reply, focusing on that instead of the implications of the rest of it. He cubes the last potato and adds it to the pot. “Nasty illness. Do you want to cook more?” He goes to reach for the broth, and glances to Rook instead. “Would you add that please?”

“Would Lucanis let you teach me?” There’s a charming intensity to his expression as Rook pours it in carefully, doing his best not to spill anything. “You know he hates leaving anyone alone in the kitchen.”

Emmrich considers the pot for a moment before adding a pinch more salt and a bit more pepper, pleased with their progress so far. He wipes his hands on a nearby dish towel then gently reaches out to touch Rook’s wrist when he goes to stir again. “Time to leave it for a bit, my dear Rook. I’m sure between the two of us we could charm Bellara into supervising. Surely that would settle his nerves.”

He sets the dish towel aside, and when Emmrich glances back at him Rook is still looking at his wrist, then looks back up to Emmrich with that same distracting expression – wide eyes, soft lashes. A coy tilt to his mouth that Emmrich tries not to read too much into. “I don’t think you have to work that hard to charm anyone,” Rook breathes, leaning in closer as Emmrich feels his own eyes widen in return.

“Rook,” Emmrich murmurs, taking half a step closer. “If you were curious about dinners at the Necropolis –”

Rook’s head swivels for him to stare at the door half a moment before it flies open, Lucanis standing in the door frame staring between them with a panic in his expression that Emmrich is not entirely sure is exclusively about who was using his kitchen.

“Spite smelled potatoes,” Lucanis offers, by way of explanation. He looks between the two of them and then stares at Emmrich for a long moment with an inscrutable expression.

Emmrich takes a step back from Rook, and tries not to look at Rook’s face again. If he doesn’t, he can pretend Rook is disappointed by the distance, and guard the little flame of hope that his attentions might be something more than friendly. “I make a perfectly good potato-leek stew, Lucanis.”

Lucanis looks to Rook, and Rook just laughs. “I mean it’s not gonna kill us, that’s all I can tell you.”

“You would know, I suppose,” Lucanis stares Rook down again for a moment, and then finally seems to relax. “Do not defile my kitchen –”

Rook chokes at Emmrich’s side, and Emmrich tries to keep his expression neutral. Lucanis just lets out an annoyed noise. “-- with any more potato monstrosities.”

He stalks past them to the pantry, and Rook glances up at Emmrich with a teasing little grin. “Think that means we could defile it with something else?”

Emmrich clears his throat and touches Rook’s wrist again, gesturing towards the simmering pot. “Best not to push our luck,” he retorts, trying to keep his tone light and quickly looking away. “Stir, please.”

He turns away to tidy up where he’d been chopping vegetables, and pretends not to hear the plaintive sigh at his side.

#merrick lore drop #tuffgreg fic corner #emmrook

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championkoma · 2 months ago

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I am once again back on my pokemon bullshit.

Over the past 10 years or so, my love for pokemon has been fading with each new release. Starting with Sun and Moon, I began to feel like pokemon had become too kid friendly for me, as I just graduated high school and was truly beginning my adult life. I enjoyed the story of Sun and Moon but did not enjoy the games mechanics in the totems rather than gyms and what not and did not enjoy the region itself so much. After that, ultra Sun and moon released and I bought it but never even beat it until this year because I just couldn’t get into it. I enjoyed the Lets Go games but wish there was more battling involved so I could see my boy mega blastoise more in Kanto. I was quite excited for Pokemon Sword and Shield but once I began playing I quickly grew bored of it, can’t really place any reason why but it just didn’t stick. I had fun with Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl but they’re nothing to write home about. Then legends arceus released and I was super hyped for it, and now I still have not finished it. I think it’s the best idea the pokemon company has had in years but I can only play for about 30 minutes before getting bored. Now with Scarlet and Violet, I was not hyped in the slightest but bought scarlet anyways and actually ended up loving the story but thought it was an ugly game, the first dlc was fun and I looked forward to the second but once it came out, I quickly gave up once encountering the trials.

Overall, I figured I’ve just outgrown Pokemon but once IOS allowed emulators, I decided to get all the older games again and quickly felt the nostalgia and love for the series in full again.

The Delta Emulator for GB/GBA/DS.

I downloaded delta first, as it was the emulator I was most familiar with. I got all the GB and GBA games first but quickly wanted to try SoulSilver for DS again. At this point I’m not too far but still open it up and grind whenever I have time.

ArcEmu for Apple Watch

I then learned of ArcEmu that allows you to play Gb/GBA games on an Apple Watch. I love this idea and downloaded FireRed for it but don’t really use it for anything, but enjoy knowing that I have it with me if I ever leave my phone.

Folium

An emulator for 3DS games has been fun to tinker with but doesn’t run the best on my iPhone 13 mini. Weirdly, Pokemon Omega Ruby seems to run better than Pokemon X.

Overall, I just like to tinker with the emulators on iOS and prefer the DS and 3ds games on emulators, for some reason GB and GBA feels wrong on phones.

Pokémon Go

I have been a day 1 pokemon Go rural player, over the years I have mostly just used it for transferring shiny pokemon to my main switch games. At this point I’m pretty much done with the game as they continue to make the game a pain for rural players who don’t want to spend money. I have transferred all of my shinies to home and most of the pokemon but will still check the game whenever I’m in new areas and whatnot.

Pokemon TCG Pocket

I started playing the new Pokemon TCG Pocket game and im liking it so far. I’ve never been much of a Pokemon TCG player, just a collector and this game scratches the itch for a casual collector like me who just likes to buy a booster pack occasionally here and there. I pulled a full art Mewtwo card which was cool.

Pokémon Sapphire/GameBoy Micro

About 2 years ago, I bought a GameBoy Advanced and a couple of Pokemon Repro carts. Eventually I pulled the trigger on a legitimate copy of Pokemon Sapphire. I work full time and do full time college so I don’t have much time to actually play. Eventually I decided to get a GameBoy micro, and decided to go for a cheaper and more beat up so that I can take it with me everywhere and not feel bad if it gets beat up.

I have loved having a GameBoy micro with me. I still don’t get to play as much as I’d like but it makes lunch breaks more fun at work and something about playing on actual hardware feels so much better.

Pokemon and the impact it has had on me

I have been a lifelong Pokemon fan, many of my earliest memories include Pokemon. I watched Pokemon the first movie probably over 100 times. I collected and traded Pokemon cards on the playground with many of my classmates. I received Pokemon firered as my first Pokemon game when I was 10, around the time Pokemon platinum was released and put hundreds of hours into it. Once, Pokemon X and Y released I made it my goal to complete the pokedex and was successful. I probably put 300-500 hours per game back in the day and now usually don’t even spend 100 hours on the modern games. Maybe I’m just a grumpy old fan but to me it feels like modern Pokemon is missing the heart that old Pokemon had.

Anyways, just figured I’d make a post for the hell of it and just chat about Pokémon.

#pokemon #pokemon swsh #pokemongo #pokemon lets go #pokémon scarlet and violet #Pokémon sapphire #pokémon fire red #pokemmo #gba #GameBoy micro #Pokémon home #Pokémon soul silver #Pokémon x #pokémon oras #emulators

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moonferry · 5 months ago

Text

fsioy chapter 7.

i am so distraught but this chapter is finally finished. i went through an entire range of emotions while writing this so.. sorry in advance. we have ourselves Another long one guys im sorry. i have so many words but literally all i can do is apologize for the havoc this is going to wreak. i feel like a shell of the man i once was after writing this chapter. it feels like a part of me exploded once i wrote the final words. this is by NO MEANS the end of fsioy, so don't worry, but this one is a doozy.

warnings: military enlistment/drafting, previous death mentioned

summary: it's finally time for kent to leave for his deployment. however, jodi has a side quest before they begin packing. once they return, they pack and exchange heartfelt goodbyes.

word count: 4631

other chapters: chapter masterlist

ao3 link: here

April 19XX, Downtown Zuzu City – Middle Of The War | Day Of Deployment

Kent awoke the next morning - far earlier than he had originally anticipated. Once his eyes opened, he was immediately filled with dread. He glanced over at his digital alarm clock. 5:30 A.M. it read. His bus left at noon - which gave him about six hours to pack and stress over everything. Great, Kent sighed to himself, just great. Since he was already awake, and it looked like he wasn’t going back to sleep anytime soon - given the small stream of sunlight shining through the gap in his curtains and the looming sense of foreboding that clung to him like stale air - he decided he might as well get started.

Kent glanced around his room once again, his chest heavy as his eyes lingered on every object. This has been his room for as long as he could remember, this house had been his home, this bed was well…his bed. Despite how trivial it seemed, Kent was going to miss this house and all its quirks: how the hallway was too narrow to be comfortable, how the tin on the roof always caused his radio to lose signal, how the floor creaked and groaned if you hit the wrong floorboard. This house had more flaws than he could count, but each one filled his mind with a rush of memories, and Kent would be lying if he said he wasn’t going to miss it.

His eyes continued scanning the room before landing on the spot of his bed next to him. Instead of it being the usual emptiness, save for a few crumpled blankets he kicked off in the night, there was a figure curled up, her head barely sticking out above the covers. Kent blinked his eyes in surprise, reaching up to rub his eyes to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.

However, the surprise soon wore off and he let out a small sigh of relief when he realized it was just Jodi. Kent’s expression softened as he watched the slow rise and fall of her chest. This was one of the rare times Jodi’s hair was completely down – Kent was amazed at just how long her hair actually was – and it was messily pooling against the pillow, some strands even sticking to Jodi’s sleeping face.

Kent smiled to himself as he remembered the final events of the previous day. He felt extremely giddy: he couldn’t believe he had gotten married. To Jodi, nonetheless. It was like a dream come true, if you know, your dream only happened because there was this large timer looming over your head. While he was happy about the marriage, a small part of him couldn’t help but feel guilty. He knew Jodi had these big dreams - things she wanted to accomplish in her life - and Kent hoped he hadn’t harmed her chances of following those dreams. He cared about Jodi, he truly did, and it would absolutely crush him if she had to give up something she loved because of him.

His mind was momentarily quieted when Jodi rolled over and sleepily reached for his hand, though she still had her eyes closed. Kent wondered what she was dreaming about. He let her take his hand and gently rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. Kent shook his head with a soft chuckle. So much for his plan of getting started early. Oh well, he didn’t mind. In fact, if every morning started like this, he wouldn’t mind at all. Despite the soft moment, his heart sank. This would probably be the final time something like this happened - at least for a while. It made him even more reluctant to leave.

Kent waited a bit longer, even if his hand was now going numb, he couldn’t seem to make himself start packing. At least, not yet. Something about the act of packing, of putting his own belongings into a small box, of having to choose only what was deemed “essential”, of having to leave everything behind made everything seem too real. He didn’t want it to be real. He wanted to scream, to protest, to plead with Yoba not to make him go, but he wouldn’t. He knew that it wouldn’t do anything but strain his voice and waste his breath. So, he did all he could. He simply waited: waited for Jodi to wake up, waited to start packing, waited for his life as he knew it to end. It was all too much for him to bear, but he would bear it anyway. Because someone had to. Because he had to.

Kent brought his knees towards his chest, wrapping his arms around his calves, and buried his face into the rough fabric of his pajama pants - a pair of old, holey sweatpants that he’d grown too tall for. He sniffled, desperately trying to choke back his tears and keep himself quiet. It’s not like he cared if anyone saw him crying, he just didn’t want to wake Jodi. He didn’t want her to experience the horror of the present, he wanted to keep her safe in her dreams, to wrap her in the biggest blanket he had and tell her that it had all been some crazy nightmare. But it wasn’t. It was real and he would have to face it soon enough. He stayed in this position for a little bit longer, only glancing up when he felt a gentle hand against the small of his back.

“Hey, Ken,” Jodi spoke, the sleep still vivid in her voice. She pushed herself into a sitting position and turned to fully look at him. A small, knowing frown formed on her lips, but she asked anyway, “Are you alright?”

He shook his head. Jodi nodded and wrapped her arms around him, pulling the much taller boy closer to her. Kent laid his head on her shoulder before returning the hug. Jodi moved a hand up and cradled the back of his neck, gently running her fingers through the short hairs at the base of his neck.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jodi asked, glancing down at her husband with a concerned expression. She knew the answer, but she still wanted to listen to Kent anyway. After all, she knew that this would be a tough time for both of them.

“I’m scared, Jo,” Kent expressed. He felt that, whenever he was around Jodi, he didn’t have to hide what he was feeling. He knew she wasn’t very likely to judge him - he literally broke down in front of her a week ago and all she did was comfort him. He didn’t know how someone like him managed to get so lucky and end up with someone like Jodi. He wasn’t brave, or strong, hell, he wasn’t even all that interesting, yet Jodi saw something in him. Kent honestly didn’t know what it was. He wasn’t sure he’d ever know, to be honest. He glanced up at Jodi, his fear very plainly plastered across his face.

“I know,” Jodi replied, resting her hand on the side of his face. She caressed his cheek before adding, “I’m scared, too.”

“It’s normal to be scared, Kent,” Jodi added, pausing for a moment before looking at him lovingly and continuing, “We can be scared together. You aren’t doing this alone, you know. You have me and your mom. So many people who care about you. But you know what?”

“What?” Kent replied, tilting his head to the side curiously.

“You’re going to make it through this,” Jodi answered, moving her hands to fully cup Kent’s cheeks and looking him directly in the eyes. She spoke once again, “We’re going to make it through this. Together. You are the most amazing person I know, Kent. If anyone can get through this, it’s you.”

“But.. I’m not strong, or brave,” He protested, a small look of defeat forming on his face as his brows knitted together.

“I know it feels like that, but you are so much more than you know,” she spoke, shaking her head at Kent’s claim.

He sighed, closing his eyes as he leaned against her again. He mumbled softly beneath his breath, his voice breaking slightly, “I don’t know if I can do this, Jodi. I wish my dad was here. He’d know what to do.”

“I wish there was something I could do to help,” Jodi replied, gently caressing Kent’s cheekbone once again. Jodi thought for a moment, and felt a small “lightbulb” appear over her head. “Maybe there is..,” She mumbled to herself.

Kent raised an eyebrow skeptically. He wasn’t sure what Jodi was suggesting and the way she seemed impressed by her own idea scared him - just slightly though.

“I hope you aren’t talking about using a spirit board to contact my late father,” Kent spoke, his eyes widening in fear. Just the idea was enough to send a shiver down his spine. Not like that was something Jodi would do, obviously, but he could never be too sure. Usually, Kent was the one with the crazy ideas that Jodi was frantically saying “No” to.

Jodi shook her head with a light laugh. She loosened her grip on Kent and practically jumped to her feet, her pajamas wrinkling in response to the fast movement.

“C’mon,” She urged, making a motion for Kent to stand, “Get dressed. There’s someone I want you to meet.”

“Jodi, I’m really not sure about this…” Kent admitted, though he stood and walked towards his closet, “I mean, I have to pack and all.”

“We’ll make it back in plenty of time. You can pack later,” Jodi replied, already shoving an armful of clothing at Kent’s chest. She scrounged through a small box on the floor (she had brought a few changes of clothing from her mother’s house after the wedding, intending to go back and gather more once she saw Kent off) and pulled out the least crumpled of her supposedly neat clothing items. Now that she thinks back on it, she didn’t really take the time to fold them all. She was far too excited about the events that took place earlier.

She ducked into a nearby room and quickly dressed herself. A few minutes later, she walked back into Kent’s bedroom, braiding her hair as she walked. She pushed his door open and was greeted by a now dressed Kent. Jodi walked over, grabbed Kent’s hand, and hurriedly exited the small house. They walked for several minutes, weaving in and out of the alleyways and taking shortcuts whenever they could. Eventually, they arrived at a small cabin at the outskirts of the city.

Jodi approached the door and gave a soft knock.

While the two were waiting for whoever was inside to answer, Kent looked at his wife quizzically and asked, “Jodi, where are we? Who lives here, anyway?”

“You’ll see,” Jodi replied. So much for gaining information, Kent thought to himself. Before he could ask more questions or ask Jodi to explain further, the door creaked open and revealed a man.

“Jodi! What a surprise,” The man spoke as he opened the door, moving out of the doorway and into the open. Kent examined the man suspiciously: he had gray hair – all of which was neatly slicked back –, a kind expression, an inviting presence, and Jodi seemed to know him. The man looked towards Kent and then spoke to Jodi once again, “Ah. Who’s this?”

“This is Kent,” Jodi replied cheerfully, motioning to her husband before motioning back to the man and adding, “Kent this is my father, Samson Sawyer.”

Recognition washed over Kent and he made a small “oooohhh” expression and extended his hand.

“Nice to meet you, sir,” Kent spoke politely. Jodi’s father took Kent’s hand and gave it a firm shake.

“Likewise,” He replied. Samson motioned for the two of them to enter the building, closing the door behind them. Once they were inside, Samson turned to face them and raised an eyebrow. “What brings you by? Jodi typically only visits on weekends,” He asked, looking Kent up and down.

Jodi looked at Kent, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder before whispering in her father’s ear. She explained that Kent recently lost his father - leaving out the details, as that was up to Kent to share or not - and mentioned how she thought her own father could help.

“You see, Kent.. Kent leaves today,” Jodi explained, a small hint of sadness in her voice, “He’s been drafted.” .

“Ah,” Samson replied, giving a small, curt nod, “I see.” He pulled up some chairs for the three of them and motioned for Kent to have a seat across from him.

“So, Kent, Jodi tells me you recently lost your father,” The man started, clasping his hands together over his lap before speaking again, “That must be rough, son. I have three boys of my own - love each and every one of them - I couldn’t imagine what they’d do if I.. you know.” The man’s voice filled with compassion and he sent Kent a sympathetic look.

Kent gave a small nod, though his expression turned a bit sour. He knew this man was only trying to help, but he was tired of sympathy. Everywhere he went, people greeted him with “oh, poor thing” or fawned over him, as if he was the one who had died. He didn’t want people’s kind words or their “thoughts and prayers”. He just wanted his father back, and that wasn’t going to happen.

“Sir, with the utmost respect,” Kent started, looking up at Samson while trying his hardest not to grit his teeth, “I don’t understand how this is supposed to help me.” He glanced at Jodi and mouthed a small “sorry” before attempting to stand.

“Please, sit, and let me finish,” Samson spoke gently, motioning back to the seat. Kent did as he was told, though he wasn’t sure why. “I’m not here to coddle you, Kent, and I’m sorry if I offended you. You’re scared, right? Any normal person would be,” the man explained.

Kent nodded. He glanced confusedly at Jodi and made a small gesture that said “what’s up with this guy?” Jodi simply smiled back, encouraging him to keep listening.

“I had to send off all three of my boys. All three of them. As a father, there is nothing scarier than sending your children to experience something as unpredictable as war. Under better circumstances, I would’ve been right there beside my boys, but I couldn’t - heart condition, you know. I understand what you’re feeling, son. I’ve watched this happen three times already. It doesn’t get any easier. Now, I may not have known your father - and I don’t know you that well, either - but I know that I am so proud of you, and he would be, too. It takes guts to do this, kid, even if you didn’t have a choice. It takes guts to wake up every morning and face the reality of this situation - the fact that this is something you can’t weasel your way out of. Even the ones at the front of the enlistment lines are scared, Kent. You’d be a fool not to be.”

“What I’m jabbering about basically boils down to this: your father would be just as, if not more so, proud of you as I am. It’s alright to be scared. Everyone is,” Samson summarized, giving Kent a reassuring pat on his kneecap.

The man’s words seemed to ease Kent’s mind. He gave a thoughtful nod as he mulled over the speech he just received. He had to admit, receiving advice from an older man like this, it reminded him of his late night talks with his own father. His heart ached and he placed an open palm on his chest, as if trying to reassure himself.

“Thank you, Mr. Sawyer,” Kent replied, extending his hand once again - intending to give Samson a handshake of gratitude.

“Please, call me Samson,” Samson replied. He gave a light laugh and stood up, moving closer to the other. “I don’t do handshakes, boy,” He explained, grabbing Kent’s hand and pulling him upward. He wrapped his arms around Kent, encompassing the boy in a firm, fatherly embrace.

Kent hesitated - his mind filling with memories of the last time someone hugged him like this. It had been the last time he’d ever seen his father and he had regretted his inaction every day since. Kent slowly returned Samson’s hug. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he tightened his grip around the man’s midsection. Kent felt that small tear in his heart - the gaping hole that opened up when he received the news of his father’s death - smooth over, as if someone had placed a bandage over the injury. Kent knew that Samson could never replace his own father, but it still felt nice to receive some paternal affection.

When the older male pulled away from the hug, Kent was shaking slightly - his face wet with the smallest streams of tears. He sniffled slightly before sending Samson a grateful smile.

“Thank you, Samson,” Kent replied quietly. He moved his hand upwards and wiped his face with the back of his thumb, hiding the faint traces of tears. Jodi had walked over to the two and gently intertwined her fingers with Kent’s, quietly whispering that they should probably head back soon.

Kent nodded and made his way towards the cabin door. However, Samson spoke once again before the two could exit.

“By the way,” He started, calling out to Kent to get his attention once again, “Take good care of my girl. She’s a good egg. You don’t want to lose someone like her.”

Kent looked at Jodi, who had already exited the building and was waiting on Kent to follow her. He smiled to himself before turning back to Samson and saying, “I will, sir.”

“Samson.”

“I will, Samson.”

With that, Kent exited the small cabin and ran to meet Jodi. Once he caught up to her, he looped his arm around her waist and held her close as they walked.

“All done?” She asked, glancing back at the cabin as her father closed the door before peaking out the window and waving.

“I think so,” Kent replied.

“Then let’s go get you packed,” Jodi suggested, leaning against Kent as they walked. She smiled to herself. The interaction with her father went much better than she’d hoped. She would never tell Kent this, but she noticed how he reacted to the embrace. She knew how much something like that meant to him (and maybe she was the one who suggested it to her father in the first place, who knows?).

The two managed to get back to Kent’s family home. In truth, not much time had passed. Maybe an hour or two at most. Kent reluctantly sorted through his belongings and - with Jodi’s help - determined what items to bring. Jodi had yet another idea and quickly placed the neatly folded shirt into Kent’s suitcase before rushing to her box. She crouched down and began sifting through her own belongings. Jodi dug through her stack of clothing before pulling out a small, fabric hair tie. She walked back to Kent and placed it on his wrist.

“Here,” She said as she looped the fabric over Kent’s wrist before adding, “so you’ll always think of me.”

“Jo.. I can’t take this,” Kent started, a small frown forming on his lips, “it’s your favorite. You always wear it.”

Jodi gave a soft laugh before smiling up at Kent. She placed her hand on Kent’s wrist and gave it a reassuring pat as she spoke, “Then you better make it back so you can return it to me, hm?”

Kent shook his head with a light laugh - clearly he wasn’t going to change Jodi’s mind. He carefully slipped the hair tie off his wrist. He then brought the hair tie towards his chest and clasped it in both his hands. “I’ll take good care of it,” Kent spoke, sending a grateful look towards Jodi before adding, “You know, until I give it back.”

“Good,” She spoke, playfully poking Kent in the sides, “Because I’m expecting that back, mister. You said it yourself: it’s my favorite.”

He laughed, squirming out of the reach of Jodi’s pestering fingers.

The two continued to pack in silence. A dreary mood seemed to wash over them as the hours continued to tick by. It didn’t help that the sky outside darkened with the presence of storm clouds - as if the weather outside was reflecting the way Kent felt inside.

Eventually, a soft knock was heard from outside his bedroom door and Kent glanced up. His mother peered inside and mentioned that it was time to head to the bus stop. Kent’s journey had three parts: a bus from the city to the local train station, then he’d take the train to the docks, and finally he would board a boat and be delivered to the assignment station overseas. Kent took a deep breath and stood up. He reached down, grabbed the handle of his suitcase in one hand - Jodi’s hand in the other - and exited his room for what he hoped wasn’t the last time.

The bus station was only a few blocks away, so the walk ended far quicker than Kent had anticipated. He glanced at the small group of people gathered around him - there was his entourage (Jodi and his mother) and a few other families who surrounded their sons or older brothers.

Kent turned to his mother and a look of concern washed over his features. He approached her, gently talking her hands in his. Kent glanced down at his mother.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright, Mom?” He asked, his brows furrowing and knitting together. Kent knew the death of his father had hit his mother extremely hard, but recently she seemed far more cheerful - as if something had changed over the last few months.

“Yes, dear,” His mother assured, reaching her hand up and resting it against his cheek.

“I mean, if you aren’t I can beg them to let me stay, maybe fake an illness-” Kent spoke, his words forming into a worried ramble. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“Kent,” his mother interrupted with a small chuckle. She gently caressed his cheek, smiling up at her son before speaking once again, “I’m going to be alright. I have Jodi, and Ruby, you know that.”

Right, he knew that. Ruby was his mother’s “closest friend” - someone his mother knew for years, a woman with short hair and a magnetic personality (surprisingly never married, though. Wonder why) and had been by his mother’s side since the news of his father’s death was delivered. Kent knew his mother and Ruby seemed to be extremely close. He’d never confront her about this, but he swore his mother referred to Ruby in a way similar to how she referred to his father or how he referred to Jodi. He didn’t mind, though, Ruby was nice. She even ironed the suit he wore for his own wedding. Besides, Kent wanted nothing more than his mother’s happiness.

“I’m just worried about you, Mom,” Kent replied with a small sigh. He knew his mother was able to take care of herself, he just didn’t want her to get lonely. Even though their home was too small for three people, it was far too big for just one.

“I know, darling,” His mother replied once again, “but I’ll be fine, trust me. And - before you say anything - I will not get lonely. Rue promises to visit every afternoon.”

Kent nodded and pulled his mother into a tight hug.

He moved and glanced at Jodi. His Jodi. Despite knowing it would come to this, Kent didn’t realize saying goodbye would be this hard. He walked over and gently rested his hands on Jodi’s cheeks - softly cupping her face.

“I guess this is it,” He mumbled sadly, glancing down into Jodi’s eyes.

“I guess so,” She replied. Jodi placed her hands on top of Kent’s and gently squeezed his wrist.

“Tell me not to go,” Kent pleaded, the familiar saltiness filling the corners of his eyes, “Tell me not to go and I won’t. I’ll find a way out of this, if you want me to.”

“Oh, Kent,” Jodi spoke, sadness filling her own voice as she said the next words, “You and I both know I can’t do that.”

“I know,” He replied, giving a humorless chuckle, “but it was worth a shot.”

“It’s not forever, you know,” Jodi reasoned, “You’ll be back.”

“Yeah, but I’ll miss you,” Kent sighed, gently rubbing his thumb across Jodi’s cheek.

“I’ll miss you too, Cactus,” She replied, leaning her head into Kent’s hands. She closed her eyes contently and enjoyed the bittersweetness of this moment. She was sad Kent was leaving, but she knew it was always meant to happen this way. The world worked in funny ways like that: it gave you something you wanted - no, needed - to the point it made your chest heavy with longing any moment you were away from it and then it took it away like it never mattered. Jodi always hoped she’d end up with someone like Kent but when she finally had him, he was being violently ripped away from her. She couldn’t do anything. Despite how much she wanted to beg Kent to stay, she knew he would. That was why she couldn’t do it. If he managed to avoid it this time, there would be many other times afterwards. No matter how fast he ran, how desperately he tried to avoid it, he couldn’t run forever. Jodi knew this and that’s why she couldn’t let Kent stay for her.

A small, somber smile formed on Kent’s lips as he heard the familiar nickname. He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss onto Jodi’s lips, closing his eyes to fully savor the moment as he tried, once again, to memorize everything about the person he loved. Her long, peachy-auburn hair - always neatly braided -, the way she hid her mouth behind her hand when she laughed, the softness of her touch, the warmth of her kisses, her amazing personality and contagious laughter. Everything he loved about Jodi. His Jodi. He opened his eyes and looked lovingly into her light blue eyes.

Kent could’ve stayed there forever, watching his future unfold in Jodi’s eyes, but he was interrupted by a voice shouting that they would be loading the bus soon, that the bus would be leaving soon. Once again, Kent was running out of time.

“I guess you should be going,” Jodi mumbled sadly, glancing up at Kent with a small frown.

“I guess so,” Kent replied. He gathered his bags and started walking towards the bus. However, he only made it halfway before running back to Jodi and wrapping his arms around her - lifting her off the ground and spinning her around. He gently sat her on the ground before pulling her into a tight embrace.

He rested his chin on top of her head, enjoying what little spare seconds he could.

“I love you, Starfruit,” he spoke, closing his eyes as he held Jodi close. Kent pressed a soft kiss onto the top of her forehead. He reluctantly pulled away once another reminder was shouted by the bus driver.

He gathered his bags and boarded the bus. Once he took his seat, he looked out the window - watching life as he knew it being left behind. There goes his entire world - everything he’s ever known, left at a bus stop.

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