#like yeah i know you arent obliged and yeah i know its not always going to be possible

[krispiecake]

eye twitches killing torture violence

[chrolloluvr]

Hello! Can I ask for general relationship headcannons with Mammon from helluva? I know he's toxic but I just love this bastard and his australian accent lol.

General Mammon SFW Relationship Hcs pt.1

Note: YESS TYSM FOR REQUESTING THIS!! I love this dude idc what anybody thinks, also i might do a pt2 if this gets enough traction!! This is also a Female!reader, but if you squint it can be Genderneutral!reader

Warnings: Some cussing, use of pet names, some creepy behavior 💀

Starting off, Mammon would probably love to show you off. At his clown pageants, royal meetings, and basically anywhere important. If he's going somewhere, you will most likely be there, with his hand on one of your hips, or carrying you on his shoulder. However he won't let anybody get to know you, or even get their grubby hands near your precious body. Most of his fans speculate that if they see you somewhere, Mammon is always somewhere near you, or he at least has his servants follow you. I also imagine he also brings you to interviews.

He just loves to talk his head off about you. When it comes to his little lady, he just can't keep his mouth shut. I swear this man will be talking to Beelzebub or one of his business partners, and be like “Yeah that's nice and all dickhead, but Y/N is better at that by a long shot.” HE WILL BRING YOU UP AT THE MOST RANDOM TIMES! He will also twist his words in a way that involves you.

Loves and lives to buy you things. He feels obligated to get you luxurious items, even if you don't want them or feel bad. He knows he's one of, if not the most wealthy man in hell, so just let him spoil you, because he won't take no for an answer. If you don't like something he buys you, he won't be mad at you, but the people who made it. You're his pride and joy, so anything he buys you is very luxurious and one of a kind. When you go out to events with him, the press and 666 news will go crazy over the latest new necklace he bought you. If you just look up at him with those big doe eyes of yours, he will move heaven and hell for you.

He knows your weakness is his boisterous voice. He notices every detail about you, including the way your knees lock and your demeanor softens when he does that deep, Australian accent. He likes to grab your cheeks, and say in a low husky voice how you're so cute babe, my perfect little woman. Or when he calls you or leaves voicemails, he will talk innocently about something, but you never fail to take his voice and imagine it in, well, other ways.

I feel like Mammon would give you nicknames all the time. He rarely calls you buy your real name, unless hes upset, but he is never truly upset with you. He will call you babe most of the time, misses, my little lady, sweetheart, princess, my queen, woman, babycakes, and my little money maker (sometimes). He will call you these things, but also when he wants something from you like a warm hug, or to rub his shoulders, or to bring him his morning breakfast. He doesnt call you by your real name often, because he thinks its too serious, and in his eyes, you arent serious,you are just his little innocent woman, oblivious to the dangerous underworld.

There is an obvious power imbalance between the two of you. There's Mammon, a powerful deadly sin, the king of greed, and loved by billions of demons. And then there's you, a lowly demon/sinner who in his eyes, can barely do anything by yourself, hell, you need him to open a nutella jar for christ sake. He thinks of himself as your big strong protector, and also your king who you should bow down to, who you should be thankful for, because millions and millions of girls would die to be in your position.

When you two date, he want complete control over your life. Your social media, friends, people you talk to, family, etc. He most likely implanted a tracker somewhere on your body while you were sleeping. He controls all your socials, and most likely put “Account ran by the handsome king of greed” im your Sinstagram bio 😭. He also deleted any hate comments. One time somebody put “Miss girl is getting that little dick every night” And he got so butthurt, so he blocked them and personally killed them. He also wants you to stay innocent.

He loves to touch you. whether it be groping you, or slowly dragging his gloved fingers over your skin. He does not care about your size too, whether you are chubby or skinny, he loves you for you and that only applies to you. It does not matter how big or small your boobs are, he will guaranteed grab them atleast twice every day randomly. His favorite part of your body is most likely your belly and your boobs. But he loves everything about you, dont get me wrong.

He will never, and I mean never, let you down. He wants to see your pretty smile. If your going on a flight? First class. A show? Front row. You two are staying at a hotel? Presidential suite. He has you covered. Hes the sin of greed for crying out loud. He uses his status to get you the best of the best. If he sees you upset, he is upset at the people around him, and throws a big temper tantrum. In his eyes, he always needs to be the person to make you happy. If he ever sees you laughing at another mans corny jokes, he makes a mental note to personally handle them, and show them that he is your man, not some low class, vile excuse of a man.

[proselfshipsafespace]

I only recently got into proshipping but I've been lurking for a while and have been anti censorship forever. I wouldn't really consider myself a proshipper, at least I don't feel like it? but I made an entirely separate blog just for this stuff. Do you have any tips for new proshippers? /nf

my best advice i always try to let people know is that proship is not a verb or a genre, its a stance. and you dont have to ship dead dove to be a proshipper, you just have to be like "yeah you can ship that stuff idc" even if its not your cup of tea. think of kink tomato (ykinmkato or your kink is not my kink and thats okay). even if you do that, you dont always cmhave to call yourself a proshipper. there are other labels out there that are similar to proship but arent.. yk, proship (anti-anti is the only one i can think of currently). if you want to interact with the community, the community is very welcoming and will be okay even if you dont feel as though you align with the term or rven were an ex-anti, as long as youre now respectful to those who do label themselves as such. if youre more on the sensitive side, i really recommend ignoring antis who try to argue with you because 99% of the time, itll just be like a cat chasing their own tail. another thing i recommend is also going through anti tags and blocking people or at the very least try to filter those tags out (i can give examples of tags if need be)

and of course, you are allowed to block anyone you please, anti or not. i always recommend to even antis aswell to block people you dont like or dont vibe with because its more of like a quality of life thing (for me atleast).

at the end of the day though, there is no right or wrong way to be proship. using the label is completely up to you and its not somethhing thats obligated or a choice forced upon you for this entire community is basically built upon discourse that doesnt really matter as much to the real world. thats my take on it though, sorry if this wasnt worded very well i kinda wrote this in a rush so hopefully you understand what im trying to say. anyone that would like to suggest advice for op is welcome to in the reblogs or comments

[wanderers-archive]

hello there!! ur blog is so cute omg, can I request strawberry, pudding (comfort), and water for mitsuba x reader? like a reverse comfort, and basically comforting him after a nightmare? tysm, and feel free to ignore!! remember to hydrate!! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

@urfavvmiko order for mitsuba: strawberry(scenarios) pudding (reverse-comfort) and water(gn reader)

Warning:nothing as I know of, let me know if there are!

Note: does mitsuba sleep?? im just gonna assume that he does, and takes naps sometimes.

You were wandering around the school as yashiro was at the girls bathroom with no.7, going outdoor towards the garden to see if the flowers everyone in the gardening club planted. Picking up a watering can, you proceed to water all the flowers and vegetables, as you were getting close to the last row of plants you spotted Mitsuba, sleeping with an indescribable face.

You sat down next to him and put your hand on his forehead, when he suddenly opened his eyes.

"WH-WHAT?!" he exclaimed as his voice was trembling with fear.

"M-mitsuba, what happened? Why do you look so scared?" You questioned. "Sca-scared?! Me?! N-no I wasn't scared..i just..had a bad dream.." his voice slowly trailed off.

"Its okay mistuba you can talk to me if you want, I'll be here no matter what" you put your hand over and whispered as if just like if you raised you voice a little bit he would disappear.

It was silent for a while until mitsuba said something that you never expected to hear from him.

"Could you.. maybe hug me?" He asked so softly you would've never heard it if it wasn't so quiet. "Of course mitsuba " you obliged to gis request and hugged him until you both fell asleep under the moonlight.

Extra toppings💝:

"Ahh..where is [name]? Its almost midnight" yashiro panicking as she had lost you when she went to hanako. " dont worry [name] wouldn't have gone that far, the school isn't that big. Hmm, have you went to the garden yet? You said [name] like to go there to relax?" hanako trying to calm down yashiro. "Oh yeah! They always go there to tend to the plants when shes trying to relax! Why didnt I think of that earlier" yashiro dashed to the garden and hanako quickly following

"Hey! Arent you going to che-" hanako was cut off when yashiro hushed him and pointed to [name] hugging mitsuba. "Ahh so that where they went, and I was worrying they wouldn't get along well" hanako sighed out of relief seeing that both of you were getting along well and it seemed like you both were getting closer then he expected.

END

extra note: i accidentally got carried away while writing this(I wrote this all in like 10 minutes and its 11 pm) I color coded all the dialogue to make it easier to read! Well if you like it, please reblog. Thank you for reading💖💖

[violenthunted]

if anyone is struggling on dumblr rp right now i think i found the secret ingredients.

first, you gotta force yourself to block the people you dislike, the ones you follow out of obligation because they're "popular" / the friends of your friends who are not and don't want to be your friends / the ones who don't spark joy or have iffy vibes. your dash is your responsibility. it's like a garden & you have to take care of it. dumblr will not be your happy place if it's filled with people you dislike / don't care about / people who ignore you on the daily. believe me, you'll be so much happier with them out of the way, even if at first you feel like your corner is small.

second, you have to take the first step. go like people's posts. comment stupid shit. follow first. barge in their dms. who cares. pretend it's facebook, we're in 2010, and everyone is still publishing "i just ate an avocado" as it happens. dumblr isn't just about writing. regardless of how shitty the interface is, it still is a social medium. cause yeah sometimes life kicks your ass and you don't have time to write. and that's okay!! that's why we have plotting and pinterest and discord and spotify. but to do all that you have to establish contact, and sadly everyone's a scared potato who doesn't know how to do it and / or doesn't know how not to be awkward while doing it. so just try!! see how it goes. whoever's on the other side of the screen will either cry from happiness or reveal themselves to not b worthy of ur time. no matter the option, its a win on ur part.

and lil third, unofficial advice : internet friends aren't always real friends. idc that they told you "ILYYYYYY <3333" a thousand times. people say shit they don't mean and don't care how it might influence you. protect yourself. internet drama is fake and doesn't matter. if u feel like u can't take a step away to go touch some grass for a lil while because you're addicted to reloading the dash, you need to force yourself to do it until its easy as breathing. cause internet "friends" will drop you the second you are not needed anymore, and u need to b strong enough to endure that. u can't rely entirely on dumblr to provide for ur social happiness. its not sustainable and it's gonna fuck you up bc. well. relationships on the internet are not as solid as they seem, no matter what we believe. its already hard having irl friends you can see face to face.

if someone on the internet shows you who they are by not doing right by you : trust them. it's not irl. people arent saying shit without thinking. yes internet relationships can be as strong and fulfilling and incredible as irl relationships but they're also more prone to fakeness, fragility and other shortcomings. with dumblr, other people have the opportunity to type on their little keyboards. to wait. to erase. they're choosing to spend time with you, or choosing not to, in a way that is much more evident than irl. (cause the effort to reply to a discord message is tiny compared to the effort of having to meet somewhere, for instance. and internet friendships solely rely on that act of communication) they're choosing to prioritise you, or not. they don't have to face you whenever they do something shitty. whatever anguish & sadness they bring you, they're not worth it.

just look out for yourself out there, okay? be kind, be nice, be patient, and take a step away once in a while to remind yourself out of all the people on the internet, the most important is always gonna b you. cause you're the one who'll have to face your real life once the screen gets shut

[goremet-chef]

its so cute i need to. ramble okay

in creatures of sonaria like. man. a year ago at this point? i made friends with someone and like. just by chance, they decided to add me to their pack and let me kill with them and like. I WAS NERVOUS im not known for. my social prowess 💀 but they liked me? and they added me as a friend and idk it was nice. like it was a group and i was kinda in the group? even if i was mostly quiet the whole time, i was still helping and covering for them yknow?

i didnt play for a while, i went from like. playing daily to playing monthly but i started playing again and i remember i think they invited me a few times to come play like with the roblox invite function but i wasnt online at the time and so. IDK i didnt think anything would come from it yknow? but. when i joined their server on accident, they added me to their pack immediately and said hi and im like SHOCKED. did i matter enough for them to like. feel the need to say hello to me and invite me to hang with them? IT. its happened more and more, i like to play with them whenever i can and i get nervous maybe im annoying them by joining them all the time but they always invite me and say hi, and its to the point where other people in the group also say hi to me and it

you must understand! im a fucking loser man, im not someone people get along with, im painfully awkward, i feel like an alien trying its best to act human okay. but it feels good, it feels like. NORMAL. we arent serious friends like i dont know shit about them, probably never will honestly i just like to wreak havoc with them. ive always been afraid of like. INFILTRATING a group, thats what it feels like!! whenever im accepted anywhere, im so terrified im latching onto false hope, im scared that im forcing my way in and im too happy to really see it. but. they say hi to me and they mess around with me and they JOKE WITH ME like. OKAY!!! im still quiet like 90% of the time but they know alright im busy playing the game, its not like i have much to say anyways!! its fun to be. social? like im too scared, fearing itll go so horrible wrong and bruise my already quite small and fragile ego, so when it goes RIGHT?? idk i just wanna. ramble about it cuz

i joined today and one of the other members said "YAYY looksee" and it. MY HEART... i like all of them cuz i hang out with them enough like. i really only talk to the one who has me added since they will actually say things to me directly but i feel like im opening up more? just a little, im still shy but. IDK knowing theyre like getting used to me? yay looksee?????? teehee!!!!!!!!! idk why it makes me so happy, i guess im easy to please if you show me the slightest bit of. positive acknowledgement im absolutely giddy. the bar is on the floor 💀 but i dont care!!

when have i ever made a friend on roblox? ive been called slurs and insulted and told to kill myself more times than anyone has ever like. tried to be my friend 💀 i get it, im not very welcoming, its not like i try to be. im friendly sure, but quiet, and if im in any sort of social interaction (which can range from someone speaking to me and not going away after they say what they wanted to say to literally just. something cute, like someone sitting with me or giving me some food) i cant handle it (i scream and close the game as fast as possible, my heartrate goes up im BREATHING HEAVILY IM SCARED... it was nice but. terrifying!!! i feel the obligation to stay and thats too big of a commitment OKAY... roblox creature you must understand)

ITS A LOT FOR ME OKAY.. and i mean. i know how my roblox avatar looks, ive been told its cringe enough times for one lifetime, im tired!!! i get it. catboy with a skirt ooo so scary. that boy is a faggot, yeah yell it louder at me.

the worst part about that is like. IT HURTS... i know i shouldnt care about what a child on roblox says to me in creatures of sonaria trade realm, but lord! it hurts. i dont socialize, ive had enough bullying!!!!! ive done my time IN SCHOOL. alright thats enough im good on the bullying. idk im just weak i guess I CANT HANDLE IT. im not good with confrontation, i wont come up with a witty response, ill just sit and wait for them to get bored from me ignoring them and leave me alone. ITS ROUGH. especially cuz its ALWAYS about my avatar, i look gay i get it, thats the point.

im a very like. ive spent TOO MUCH TIME kicking myself down over 'cringe' alright. i literally lost my interests and passion cuz i was scared of being cringe, wanted to fit in better. it made me MISERABLE. im very pro cringe i love it cuz? its only cringe if you suck, things that are 'cringe' i never find cringey even a little bit, cuz i like it when people are happy. but. i find it hard not to be a little embarrassed. its ROBLOX i get to look however i want!! i love silly roblox avatars okay, i dont want to be embarrassed about mine!!! im not a confident person, i wear it around because i like the image of this stupid catboy clothes on a very man shaped man alright looksee is my pride and joy i give him a little kis. but maybe they get the wrong idea? idk. i dont think so, i think they just dont like how i look. whatever. also my avatar matches with my friends really well so. its iconic to me!!!

still, like i said. its why i try not to play social games alone on roblox, im scared to be bullied i will admit 💀 if my friend was there, she'd tell them to kill themselves for me!!! but. shes not always there. i literally panic anytime someone runs up to me directly i sigh and say 'here we go again' cuz im waiting the imminent insults alright. IM TIREDDD so tired. they dont get him like i do. hes an avatar ive DRAWN before hes just an oc at this point, i wont ever change him cuz i like him but . sometimes it gets hard!!!

im so off topic here i just. NEED TO RANT A LITTLE cuz it. it does genuinely bother me but im too scared to like. VENT ABOUT IT to any of my friends cuz im absolutely sure some of them would roll their eyes, its just a game!! game is important to someone like me, game is the closest i come to like. living in a real social world, of course its important to me!! game is the easiest way for me to interact with strangers and not die of a panic attack immediately after 💀

WHATEVER im yapping i love to yap but. idk i just wanted to talk about it, im still so . it feels good to know that even if im weird and quiet, im not so weird and so quiet that people want to avoid me all the time. theres SOMETHING about me that they think is cool enough, like. well. i can overthink if i want to. maybe theyre adding me into their pack out of pity? maybe they dont actually like having me around but they feel too awkward to like. they feel like its gone too far now? in too deep? or maybe. im not as awful as i think i am!! maybe im weird and offputting but its okay :]

LISTEN. maybe this is normal for everyone else but its a big deal for me oky. ITS HUGE ACTUALLY. like just to have a mindless video game buddy? someone i dont even like. I DONT EVEN KNOW THEIR PRONOUNS BRO thats how little i actually converse with them but. like its not serious its just a little treat for myself, a little thing i can have. shaking like a chihuahua right now. its embarrassing to be so excited about it but. i dont do this sort of thing ever really, maybe im getting better? even if im not, ill still enjoy it

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

.vent(?)

[hornime]

voyeurant | kenma kozume x f!reader

he tentatively wrapped a palm around the shaft, shuddering at the contact, his eyelids fluttering shut. god, i’m such a pervert, thinking about her like this. she’d hate me if she knew i saw her like that, knew that i was touching myself thinking about her tits...

warnings: 18+, timeskip!kenma, kinda dubcon, kenma’s unintentionally pervy, male masturbation, poorly written video game content (i tried my best), mutual pining but u both are oblivious

w/c: 1.5k

a/n: yes, the title is a shitty pun of valorant. no, i will not be changing it. also this tiktok about timeskip kenma made me giggle so pls enjoy.

voyeurant: part one ↓ | part two | part three:

“fuck, i hate this map,” kenma grumbled into his headset.

your voiced chimed in his ears. “is it ascent?” you turned to see his face on your screen, pinched in annoyance. “ha, it is ascent. sucks for you.”

“which one are you on? haven?”

“you know it,” you chuckled. “your favorite.”

“i hate you.” he weighed his options, did he really want to play this game? the layout of the world made it irritatingly hard to strategize, and today’s losing streak was making him more agitated than usual. with a sign, he closed the application. “fuck this. i’m gonna go piss.”

“yeah, yeah, you’re such a big baby. and...” you released your mouse, throwing your hands up in triumph, “we just won. at this point, i’m gonna outrank you.” you were joking, of course. kenma wasn’t just a gamer, he was kodzuken, one of japan’s best pro-gamers, and you were just someone that played as a hobby. but it was always fun to tease.

“hmm,” he hummed. “i’m sure you will.” he turned his head to look directly at his webcam, smirking, “in your dreams.”

“ooh, catboy’s getting feisty!” he flinched at the nickname. “go pee so i can beat you at your best.”

he obliged, pulling his headphones off and looping them on the top of his chair. he casually raised his middle finger at you while smoothing out strands of his hair, prompting a series of profanities to escape your mouth, none of which he could hear. he chuckled playfully as you responded with two middle fingers of your own, before moving out of the camera to get to the bathroom.

you and kenma had met in an... interesting way, to say the least. after going moderately viral from lashing out at him for refusing to heal you in a game of overwatch—while he was streaming—the two of you reconciled over a twitter thread and exchanged gamer tags. since then, you’d struck up an easygoing friendship, characterized by almost nightly discord calls and occasional flirting. but we’re just friends, you often reminded yourself. and you were fine, well, mostly fine, with that.

tonight was like any other night: both you and him spending hours in a video chat with nothing better to do than mindlessly play games and bash each other. it was more than enough to strengthen your relationship but fell short of giving you the romantic tension you craved.

with kenma off in the bathroom, you, already bored, spun wildly in your chair. forgetting that your earbuds were still plugged in, the white wire caught on an opened can of coke sitting on your desk, spilling the sugary drink all over your keyboard and the front of your shirt. 

“shit!” you quickly scrambled for paper towels, but the still-connected wire yanked you backwards. in your haste for something to wipe the soda with, the fact that your camera remained on in the video call completely slipped your mind. making the split-second decision that the trip for a towel wasn’t worth it at this point, you quickly whipped off your shirt, dabbing the keys with the part that was still dry. since you were home, you’d gone braless, and your current predicament had you flashing your webcam.

now, kenma had seen a lot of things from your side of the call: he’d seen you get chewed out by your residential advisor for being too loud, you with two sticks of pocky poking out of your mouth like walrus tusks, and you doing random cosplay moves you’d seen on tiktok. what he wasn’t expecting to see, not even in his wildest dreams, was a screenful of your tits, slightly damp from the cola that had seeped through the fabric of your long-gone shirt.

he stopped in his tracks, still out of the frame of his camera, eyes wide and heart racing, desperately trying to calm down and prevent the gradual hardening of his cock in his pants. unable to deny his desires, he continued staring at your plump breasts on his computer, you completely unaware that he could see you.

you quickly threw your soaked top in the laundry basket before throwing on a random sweatshirt and trying to calm your frazzled nerves. you tentatively touched your keyboard, groaning internally when you fingers lightly stuck to the buttons. it’s gonna take forever to clean this, you mourned.

“hey,” kenma mumbled, reappearing on screen and shaking you out of your thoughts.

“hey.” you noticed his flushed expression. “are you okay? you look really red.”

“uh, yeah. i actually uh, i feel kinda sick. so i’m gonna, gonna go.”

“oh, okay.” why’s he acting so weird? “feel better!” you disconnected from the call with a huff, disappointment morphing your face into a pout. well, you thought, better get to cleaning.

kenma, on the other hand, was still, swallowing as the bulge in his boxers became agonizingly hard. though the only thing left on his screen was his reflection staring back at him, the luscious view of your bust was etched in his mind. his hands moved to free his cock, the tip an angry red and smearing pre-cum over the waistband of his underwear. 

he tentatively wrapped a palm around the shaft, shuddering at the contact, his eyelids fluttering shut. god, i’m such a pervert, thinking about her like this. she’d hate me if she knew i saw her like that, knew that i was touching myself thinking about her tits...

“fuck,” he whined, slowly stroking up and down. his thighs trembled as he fell back into his chair, mind wandering. he couldn’t stop himself, his thoughts become more and more lewd, fantasizing about how your breasts would bounce as he thrusted into you, how your thighs would wrap warmly around your head as he ate you out, how you’d cry out his name so prettily when he made you squirt around his fingers.

it was all too much, and as the circle he made with his fingers tightened as he reached his tip, he lurched forward, alarmed at how good everything felt just by thinking about you. i can’t cum, i can’t, the small part of his brain that wasn’t completely overtaken with pleasure tried to reason with him. there’s no going back if i—shit—if i cum. she’ll know, somehow, if i—if i cum, i—

the ecstasy kept clouding his judgement and his body worked against his mind as his hand pumped faster and faster while his conscience screamed to stop. his wrist wetly slapped the base of his cock, the sounds of both his hands and his moans getting too loud for comfort, but all he could think about was you. your eyes, your mouth, your chest, your legs, your ass, your pussy. god, he wanted to be in you so badly.

he couldn’t hold back, his insatiable need to cum overriding his senses, and the translucent liquid twitched out of his throbbing cock in spurts, drenching his fist and his balls. “fuck, fuck, fuck. i’m—fuck.”

he collapsed against the back of his chair, chest heaving with the sheer intensity of his orgasm. he combed a hand through his hair, the consequences of his actions now weighing heavily on his shoulders. i’m never gonna be able to look at her in the eyes again, he lamented. how am i ever gonna—damn it. 

the sudden ping of a notification had his eyes raising from the mess on his pants towards his computer screen. 

meanwhile, you were messaging kenma, a little off-put by his sudden radio silence but chalking it all up to his mysterious sickness.

[11:05 PM] you: hey ken! hope u feel better

[11:05 PM] you: if u get the chance u should check out what i added to our minecraft house. its perfect for sick victorian orphans like u

[12:14 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: why arent u responding

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: ok u got me ill tell u

[12:05 PM] you: its a hot tub

[12:05 PM] you: but with soup

[12:05 PM] you: but the soup is lava

[12:05 PM] you: genius right

[12:06 PM] you: anyway get some sleep and feel better <3

[12:06 PM] you: lmk if u wanna play animal crossing

[12:06 PM] you: actually no u should sleep. rest ur eyes and shit

[12:06 PM] you: no animal crossing for u!

[12:06 PM] you: sleep well so i can destroy ur ass in val tmrw

[12:06 PM] you: >:)

he sighed as he read your one-sided ramblings. he really liked you.

and he really wanted to fuck you. lucky for you, you wanted the exact same thing. 

if only kenma knew what you did on the other side of the screen, hands in your undies and his name on your lips...

>> part two

© property of hornime 2021. do not plagiarize any of my writing and do not repost/copy my writing onto any other sites.

[voidselfshipp]

Late night coffee talks

Cw:ask to tag. Herc being a boomer and not beliving in self care/lh. Mentions of anxiety but thats about it.

Summary: late night coffee talks with jerico leave tendo confronting his own issues.

A/n: this GIF goes so well. AND THATS TENDO TOO! goes so well lmao.

->Only mutuals allowed to reblog.

♡Lovely Taglist: @tex-treasures @malewifepatrickbateman @mercuryships

--Do you want some coffee?-- Tendo asked to Jerico, who was half asleep on his desk.

--Cant. Anxiety -- she replied

--Right. Tea, then?

She nodded and he got to work on brewing some tea for her-- you know you dont gotta stay here late, you can go to bed

--And let you all alone in here? No thanks-- jeri replied, relaxing into his Office chair.

--Hows herc handling the whole Marshall thing?-He asked, serving some hot water on a Cup.

--Well, hes glad its only momentaraley-- she replied-- but hes not handling it as well as he makes it look

--Stress?

--Yup-- jerico confirmed-- im doing the best I can with organizing stuff for him, hes a soldier through and through so without schedules...

--He falls appart-- tendo finished-- here, sweetheart

She took the warm Cup of tea and said-- exactly,and thank you

--No problem, so, 'bout those schedules?

--Ah, nothing outta the ordinary, bedtimes, meal breaks, work hours, the works

--I bet hes really gratefull-- the Man said grabbing her free hand.

--ive also given him a forty minute break to check in with himself yknow? Stretch, do breathing and grounding excercises

--He hates it, doesnt he?

--Yeah-- both chuckle-- he says hes "perfectly fine" and that "he doesnt need to do that self care thing" Because hes going to "get through it like a man", but I have seen him do them

--well hes an older generation-- he agreed-- no wonder he thinks like that

--Bravery, testosterone and aussie unhingedness, thats Hercules Hansen for ya

Tendo lets out a prolongued snort while hes drinking his coffee making him almost choke-- honestly, thats him alright, but hes a good guy

--Yeah he is, hes a very good guy, hes just emotionally constipated, arent we all though?

Both share a laugh in agreement, Tendo caresses the back of jeri's hand with his thumb-- hows ol' Chuck doing?

--Hes still going to his check ups,luckily hes raditation free and though he pouts like a child he doesnt miss any of his therapy sessions or medical appointments

--i said it once and ill say it again, itll always baffle me how you managed to not only make the hansens get along, but finally learn some emotionall inteligence

--hey Man,Takes one to know one-- she added-- I went down that same road, with some differences of course

--Between you and me? I think they are just very soft for you, but im glad those two are gettin' some help -- he said taking a sip from his coffee.

-- tell me about it, how they survived up to this Point is a mystery for the ages

He snickered-- nature finds a way!-- jerico laughed at the Jurassic Park reference, squeezing his hand.

--And what about you? How are you feeling?

Tendo snorts into his coffee, being taken off guard-- I uhm...not the most stressed ive been but stressed...

--Maybe you should indulge in some self care?

He looked away nervously-- ah its karma isnt it? I make fun of Herc and now im in the same spot as he is...-- tendo sighs-- its just--

--I have a lot of work to do and its very important-- both say at the same time.

--What?! -- he exclaims.

--Heard it from herc time and time again -- jerico explained sitting on the Mans lap, hands caressing his face-- you havent been taking care of yourself huh?

--airing out all of my dirty rags huh?

She giggled and said-- take some deep breaths for me, okay? Close your eyes

He obliged and started to breathe in deeply, focusing on the feeling of her hands smoothing over his face to his neck.

Tendo lets out a soft exhale and relaxes his body-- better?

--Yeah. thanks, Doll

--whenever you need me, finish this and we can go to bed

Jerico ended falling asleep against him, and he carried her to his bedroom. Maybe he could sleep some more before returning to work.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

/s

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous 

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

This is the last ask ill send because im honestly tired of this whole thing

I dont know why you brought up the anon hate you got when that’s no part of the discussion. Even if it isnt your intention, you’re making yourself out of to be the victim when you arent. You say you want to get better but each time something gets pointed out you get on the defensive. I dont know why you decided to bring it up, but now that you have: Piama is indeed whitewashed on your drawing. “Warm lighting” doesnt change peoples undertones like that. Compare it to Piama’s last two cgs if you really don’t believe me.

Even if you aren’t affected, you need to be able to recognize it without poc having to tell you in order to be a good ally. I wouldn’t want a straight friend that lets people make homophobic comments about me in their presence and then hear them say “it doesn’t affect me so i couldnt tell it was homophobic so thats why i didnt defend you”. If you aren’t able to recognize it then you’ll inevitably repeat the same rhetoric. Racist rhetoric is everywhere and spewed every single day so you cant expect poc to be with you all the time and take you by the hand to tell you whats racist or not. Those are the reasons why you need to learn how to identify it by yourself, be listening to poc, by developing critical thinking skills, by not surrounding yourself with only white people. If not there’ll be more unchallenged asks such as one i saw recently that pinned poc that complained about yet another white route “stupid because they dont get that lovestruck releases routes by demand”. As if we have no concept of nuance.

No one is obliged to accept an apology, especially after what happened. I dont know where you got that idea from, especially when it concerns something that hurts people this deeply. And I didn’t point it out what happened just to be petty, I pointed it out because it isn’t an isolated event but a pattern of behavior of unchecked racist comments. That was simply the worst case: It was handled poorly, considering mod viv herself never apologized and again, swept it under the rug. The apology I saw from mod wrath was vague, didnt address the situation directly, was posted on this blog so no one knew what was going on, and was later deleted. So yeah she can apologize ten times and it still doesn’t mean we have to accept it. Especially if it’s that catastrophic because it looks like its more about saving face rather than feeling remorse, even if she did feel bad. You’re too eager to call it just “a mistake” and pin me as the unreasonable one.

And I want to ask you, have you truly seen with your own eyes an interaction where someone said to the other “if you like vinca you’re racist” and was completely serious?Or have you heard it from someone else saying that they were told that? Because considering that other anon watering down a woc’s criticism of lovestruck as “she doesnt like white people or this blog” then yeah i wouldn’t trust anything else coming from their mouths. People are getting too pressed over the millionth white woman in the app. Hell even if it happened, it’s probably what, one, two people? But you’re lumping all of us together as if its been a wave of saying that. The valid criticism surrounding Vinca is interconnected with Nahara’s release (one of the few dark-skinned women in the app) considering people kept saying they’d rather have a Vinca route when Nahara’s was announced. They’re not even willing to support it just because they want Vinca’s and that sends a message to voltage. So it simply doesnt boil down to “well its a difference in personalities”. Im gonna go as far as to say that if a woc had the same attitude as Vinca, people wouldnt be frothing at the mouth for her or they’d delve into the realm of fetishizing (as some people are bordering the line with Piama). But thats a whole other topic. And since people want to act stupid: all of the white characters in lovestruck are white because voltage made them that way. They could’ve quite easily made them a poc, but they rarely do. Think about what that means then, if youre really trying to defend yourself by saying “well they put out whats popular”

Lastly, you should really evaluate the content and beliefs you put out when racist people are still comfortable following and interacting with you. This is why i want this discussion to be public: your followers need to read this and apply it to themselves. Because considering the amount of anon hate you said you got yesterday towards the other blogger, theres a bunch of your followers who need to get off their phones and learn to care about other people and stop being racist assholes.

Believe me, I’m tired of it as well.

I brought up the anon hate because I didn’t want you to wonder why I was posting your asks in this form.

And no. Piama is not whitewashed. I took a dropper tool and took the color directly from her sprite, and if you’d looked at my blog, you would’ve seen that I sent screenshots as proof in response to that ask. But you obviously didn’t, so I’ll send them here again. (1. Without lighting. 2. With Lighting.)

If you still don’t believe me, you’re welcome to call me on Discord and I’ll share my screen and show you the entire process. And as an artist: You’d be fucking surprised what lighting does to colors.

Well, yes, I need to be able to recognize it indeed. The thing is: I can’t always. I try my best on this, and there will be moments and issues that will come up, mistakes I will make because I’m not perfect and not a machine. And in those moments, I’d love to have a friend that affectionately slaps me and says “JD, that was shit.” So I can apologize and notice it the next time. I have had multiple friends be transphobic to me in certain ways. I’ve informed them about it. They apologized and haven’t done it since. We’re still friends to this day. I do try to educate myself on racism and put in some work. I don’t expect POC to do all the work for me and explain to me how to be an ally correctly, and still - I hope they help me just as I help my cis friends with trans stuff. I can’t magically change all my behaviors and overcome internalized societal racism with the snap of a finger. If I could, I fucking would have already done it multiple times. The way it is, I’m working on it. Again - I’m sorry I didn’t point out the racist comment in the ask. I should’ve done that, and I’ll make sure to do it in the future.

You’re right no one is obliged to accept an apology. You’re right this hurts people deeply. And as I said - Mod Wrath apologized three times, including one on her personal blog which was a lot less vague. Mod Viv also apologized - to the person in question, in private. Just because you didn’t see it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. And the thing is - if you refuse to accept her apology, that’s one thing and fully your right. And the thing is: If an apology is not going to make you forgive her, if ten are not, what do you need in order to forgive? Will you never forgive? Will you always argue it’s going to be an apology to save face when you don’t know the fact she does feel remorse? How will you see that she does?

I did hear the Vinca thing from a friend of mine. Whom I trust. Because seriously, why would you make things like that up? Who would even get the idea? I’m against the idea of believing my friends would lie to me for attention or whatever. And yeah, the criticism of that anon was unfitting - I’ve visited the blog they claimed was doing that and I found nothing of the sorts, so that comment was unfitting unless I missed something. I never intended to say that it’s all of you saying that. I intended to say that some people are handling the issue wrong. I’m sorry it came off that way. I do believe though that it’s people’s full right to say they’d have preferred Vinca over Nahara. I would’ve preferred Vinca. I still read Nahara tho. However, it’s not yours to dictate which routes other people have to support and which not. I will however agree with you that people should give Nahara a chance - it’s quite the sweet story. And I for my part would enjoy a POC Vinca just as much as a white one. (Also, side note, you’re making it appear as if everyone would either fetishize or rage over her, which is very much putting all of the “white” fanbase into the same bag, the same thing you critizised me for earlier. It’s understandable from a psychological point of view, tho, so I’m not gonna comment further.)

Yeah, Voltage makes the characters white, and that’s an issue people can only fix by demanding more POC in the ask posts and comments. Which many do, btw. They put out what is popular indeed, they put out what is demanded, and I fucking demand more POC. I want it. They could’ve made so many LIs POC and they haven’t and I’m fucking unhappy about it too! I’m not even trying to say anything else.

Yes, making this public to arouse thinking is a good policy. The followers need to read this indeed. And we didn’t get anon hate for the other blogger. We got anon hate towards us. Tons. Comments that went as far as telling mods to kill themselves. And while I agree with lots of the things you say - some of the ways you’re acting actively spark this type of hate. There is being loud about the issues you face, and then there is calling people racist assholes based on a comment they made instead of talking to them personally and telling them that’s not okay, giving them the chance to improve themselves instead of always having them stamped as a racist. Just because you’re the one who’s hurt, the one who’s morally correct, does not mean anything you say or do is good behavior. 

You told me I whitewashed Piama when you, with a minute of research, could’ve found proof I didn’t. You obviously wanted the internet to see, maybe hoped I’d get exposed? Could I get an apology for that? And I promise, I’ll accept it because I’m willing to believe you’re a good person.

Summary of everything:

You’re right with lots of things.

I behaved wrong and I’m sorry.

Lovestruck has an issue with racism that we need to change together. 

Together. Without toxic behavior from any side.

- Mod JD

[dog-teeth]

Hey ez there’s something I’m trying to figure out and it would mean so much to have your help. So I’m agender and I really don’t know what pronouns I want to use in person. I’m more comfortable with she because it’s what I’m used to, but I don’t want to be thought of as a girl. Bc if people use she they’ll always think of me as a girl regardless if they know I don’t have a gender. And I want to use they bc I want to help normalize it and educate my family/friends 1/2

2/2 But thinking about being referred to as they makes me feel kinda disconnected because it’ll sound like no one is very close to me if that makes any sense. And I also don’t want it to be constant reminder that I’m different, or have people ask about it, I just want to live free of gender yknow? My irls probably wouldn’t even respect it if I wanted to change my pronouns anyway so should I just forget this whole thing and stick with what I’m already comfortable with??

hello!! yeah pronouns are super confusing and its totally valid to be struggling with them! its definitely a complicated predicament you’re in!

if she/her pronouns don’t make you uncomfortable, you’re under no obligation to change them. its totally possible for people to understand & accept that you’re agender even while using she/her pronouns for you. if you explain to them that pronouns are a form of gender presentation and don’t necessarily reflect your gender identity (theres plenty of examples of this, nonbinary people often use gendered pronouns, he/him lesbians and she/her gay men are a thing) hopefully they would understand that you using she/her pronouns doesn’t mean you’re a girl.

its great of you to want to normalize they/them pronouns, but definitely do NOT go by them for that reason alone-- you should only go by pronouns because they make you most comfortable! i know what you mean also-- they/them pronouns sometimes make me feel...unseen, or disconnected, even though they/them most accurately represents my gender identity, he/him often feels better to me. i also know what you mean about she/her pronouns, as someone who uses he/him i don’t want people to assume i’m a man because of my pronouns, which is why i usually use they/them with strangers and cis ppl and he/him with friends.

if going by they/them would bring your more stress and hardship than gender euphoria, then theres no reason to go by them. its often really difficult to get people to use they/them pronouns, i know that firsthand. it might be worth it if using they/them pronouns brings you comfort and makes you feel gender euphoria, but if it doesn’t do that for you, then you’re under no obligation to change your pronouns just to educate others or because nonbinary people commonly use they/them pronouns. 

i understand how you would feel alienated by they/them and unseen by she/her. its a really tough situation and i’m sorry. ultimately, you definitely can be agender and use she/her pronouns, but if you think using they/them could make you more happy then maybe it is worth it to try and get people irl to use them. maybe there are other ways you can remind people you’re agender, like talking about it or going by a gender neutral name or something. pronouns arent the only way to express your gender (or lack thereof!) or maybe you could experiment with they/them online or with a close friend to try it out. neither option is wrong, just experiment and listen to your feelings.

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 

humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.

i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 

‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 

to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !

[crowsent]

the man hasnt even started the stream yet and his chat is spammin “technolate” truly the best and most supportive fans

amazing

=

i have to make my own fences like a loser

=

“tommy is this your credit card? let me read the numbers aloud tommy”

=

“they keep dying on my thorns”

then fucking remove your armour mr technoblade??????????? you have the option to remove your armour

i know you have trust issues and that the last time you removed your armour tommy tried to kill you but like

you can remove your armour, find someplace else for your zombie villagers to be in, and then put the armour back on

you have options mr blade

you can make unenchanted armour for the purposes of moving your damn zomvillagers out the way if you really dont wanna be armourless

you have the materials

you have the opportunities

fucking seize them

=

mr blade: “my sleep schedule is terrible”

my dumb ass, waking up at 10pm on a monday after falling asleep on a 6am the same monday, after not sleeping for 2 days on sunday and saturday: “damn right your sleep schedule is terrible”

i have good self-awareness

=

mr blade: “im not stalling”

proceeds to stall:

• “happy new year! i forgot that happened”

• reads donations

• begins to try and cure his zombie villagers

• makes fun of skeppys “clickbait” title (it is clickbait by the way. the video is not structured like an actual manhunt vid. totally not a technosimp but techno was a fantastic hunter in the skeppy v techno manhunt. yep. techno was v fair about the entire thing go watch it if you havent hes great and skeppy was also there /lh)

• talks about chess

• talks about the Gifted Child™ Syndrome without ever saying the words Gifted Child™ Syndrome

• DONT DISRESPECT CHESS

(hes a fucking athena kid. im fucking TELLING YALL HES AN ATHENA KID and if i have to fucking write a goddamn academically cited paper to prove it with actual fucking receipts i goddamn will)

• even when tommy came on stream, techno immediately proceeded to discuss the Kings Fianchetto opening

• “i dont know what kind of science textbooks youve been reading, but youve spent too much money on them. those are trash. those are TRASH”

exactly mr blade. exactly. see? athena kid. hes smart. he went to college. he knows the score. mmmhmmm. yup. checks out mr. blade

• types “You’re talking sounds” -tommyinnit (genius)

• into the mc chat

• “Tommy, you’re talking words, but the only universal language: is sounds”

IF SBI NON CANON WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS READ AS AN OLDER BRO MAKING FUN OF HIS YOUNGER BRO EXPLAIN MR BLADE

Techno fucking lists out languages that do not have sounds like: sign language, written language, braille

and then fucking thomathy “tommyinnit” minecraft hits us with “and russian”

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST FOLKS

RUSSIAN IS A CATEGORY OF NON-SOUND LANGUAGE

=

and for a good few minutes, mr blade and associate tommyinnit talk about crimes and the fbi and using it to farm views. big brain moved here today

(and then tommys alexa turned blue when he said fbi and then they both freaked out it was great)

=

new york-ian

=

mr blade and tommyinnit just IMMEDIATELY trying to pander to new yorkers once they realise the population size. they out here fucking complimenting the statue of liberty (even tho its in new jersey), the empire state building, the bronx, queens, fucking SPIDERMAN

if they arent brothers

why they have this energy

=

prime to tommyinnit

sub to technoblade

yall

my heart

i love these two terrorists so much

(for legal reasons, i am obligated to say that they are video game terrorists please and thank you)

=

tommy, about music he wanna sing: its from nintendo

mr blade: nintendo copyrights EVERYTHING tommy they got like SUPER COPYRIGHT

tommy: well, technoblade, every last one of my videos uses nintendo music

mr blade: DUDE YOURE GOING TO DIE. nintendo will KILL you

=

“new york is not canon in the dream smp universe”

mr technoblade over here just fucking ruining every new yorkers day huh

yall hear that? new york is non canon

=

you want cock to join the revolution

=

tommy out here trying to be intimidating but hes stuttering, knocking himself off of things...

its great

its great

i love their dynamic

=

im spawning the wither, somebody get me my sword

techno “one-liner” blade ladies and gentlemen

=

techno using the wither to vandalise lmanberg is very poggers of him

amazing mr blade

=

tommy is such a delight in this stream

“i dont know this man”

“why would you bring this near me im WEAK im FRAIL im LIKE AN OLD LADY”

thank you mr innit

=

if i had gotten this stream live yall bet your asses i would be chanting “blood for the blood god” with chat

chat is BLOODTHIRSTY

chat is feral

chat is amazing

thank you chat for being the chaotic fucking bastards yall always are

=

“lookit muh muscles. BITCH”

tommy

i love him

=

so last stream, techno and tommy waterboarded a hostage who died by a spider immediately after he was released

THIS stream, techno and tommy waterboard an orphan fox until he cries

good times

=

fundy drowned

ha

canon?

=

wait

i just remembered

FUNDY GOT DROWNED BY HIS UNCLES

TOMMY AND TECHNO ARE FUNDYS UNCLES BRUHHHHHHH

these two fuckers legit said “what if i waterboard my nephew to the point where he drowns”

=

i find it really funny that techno is the one fanon portrays to be this remorseless out of control entity when the entire time during the fundy waterboard torture, techno is the one holding tommy back and saying that hes going to far

and last time, techno is the one chiding philza when philza just casually murders and slaughters his way around the map

bruh

techno has more of a moral compass than fandom gives him credit for

where is my "techno is actually the moral compass of the sbi” fanfic

=

the only dirt we have on dream is his dirt shack amiright? eyyyy hes homeless

techno

techno

so funny

=

“useless, annoying, loud, british. you know. the worst combination” techno says

then he fucking makes tommy weapons, gives tommy the helmet, makes tommy weapons and tools and armour...

yeah. 

=

“i will not rest until that entire country has been completely obliterated for what it did to me and phil, tommy”

ME AND PHIL

ME AND PHIL

technoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

bruhhhh

mr blade please

=

LMANBURG IS MY UNFINISHED SYMPHONY

tommy what the fuck

what the fuck

tommy

tommy

what wait tahgjkjxbglsjbnouafsfv

WAT

=

“you could actually be, dare i say it, a friend” TECHNO

TECHNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BRUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

=

“technoblade ill join you”

ANTARCTIC ANARCHIST COMMUNE POG

YES BITCH

YES BITCH

SBI

SBI

SBI

SBI

SBI

=

“this bodes poorly for the eventual sbi meetup”

shut up

shut the fuck up

i cant handle this

i can handle the dream sapnap meetup conspiracy

but i CANNOT handle the sbi meetup conspiracy

techno please shut up

i cant

dont do me dirty like this man

=

you know how tommy keeps saying that hes weak and shit but like

he fought in wars

he has fucking armour, weapons, potions, gapples

he can hold his own in a fight

do

do you think tommy keeps calling himself weak bc DREAM calls him weak? like. his self-confidence and belief in his abilities is just eroded by dream so tommy thinks hes weak even if he isnt?

=

“we have sand at home”

at home

at home

at HOME

bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

techno literally out here singlehandedly giving me serotonin

=

beak on

=

bless you

=

one of us

one of us

one of us

one of us

one of us

one of us

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 3 episode 2

"SETH"

Notes by me

- Jacob my bOYYYYY

- as much as I love short hair Daniel its still a shock to just see him without?? Alot of hair??? Idk I just feel like he looks so different

- a mission on earth? Oooo fun! A goauld hunt sounds great too hold on lemme get my pitchfork

- Seth? Is it Seth green?

- this hologram is really cool

- "the symbol for setesh is oscillating "

"That IS the symbol for setesh😯"

Like Daniel I love you but pls stop being surprised that the guy who served Egyptian gods all his life knows who the Egyptian gods are

- THOUSANDS OF SYSTEM LORDS? no wonder this show has ten seasons

- oh the goauld is still on earth?

- selmek just comes right out whenever he wants to doesnt he

- Sam has a brother!?!?!

- selmek spillin all jacobs secrets like💅

- thinking thoughts about Daniel and tealc doing research together about historic Egyptian stuff 💗

- "jaffa jokes???"

- tealcs laugh is an angelic sound

- tough crowd

- cult leader like that guy who made everyone drink poisoned koolaid

- Daniel literally just googled this guy and there he was

- why does this weird guy think jacob has a son in there? Is it bc hes old? Stop judging ppl on their looks bro

- HAHA this fucking, .. FBI guy in the electricity truck halfway up in the bucket with binoculars like yeah bro youre so sneaky

- what does ATF stand for is it Awesome Tornado Fart

- jack :*mouths* Fargo????

daniel: *shrugs*

- Nishta is a breathe mind control thing that goaulds have

- just like Jack to call the literal president so he can do what he wants

- I am legally obligated to comment on how hot Jack looks in this episode

- I literally thought Jack was gonna just spill the beans and tell this guy Seth is an alien

- love tealc hiding his forehead from everyone but it has me thinking about what I should call it? Is it a sticker? A tattoo? A scar? Many thoughts

- ✨✨Jack calling Jacob Dad✨✨

- Sam turned their ear buds into a shock collar basically

- Daniel saying how the women surround Seth and serve him food and whatever while the men are guards and warriors. What is this shit. This is sci fi for gods sake. Can I get one pice of media thats not sexist pls CAN I GET ONE

- also arent the goaulds not held down by genders and such? And so arent held down by sexuality either?? What if they like all genders what if they want some action from everybody. This is hetero bullshit and I wont stand for it

- at least I have martouf who is absolutely into dudes

- he has RINGS where did he get the rings

- larry (jack) moe (sam) curly (daniel)

- as much as I want this guy to save his son......this is a military operation sir

- hes very nosy and they just let him in the area of a stakeout?? What ???

- tealc ready to throw hands

- tealc: how could a father not talk to his own son right *stares directly at jacob*

- "Seth is life Seth is happiness" this guy really sucks his own dick dont he

-how come nobody thought of Sam being a former host when they said that jacob and tealc couldnt go in bc of their goaulds??

- have they been shocked yet. I'm not like eager for it or anything haha its not like I want to see them get shocked by electricity come on guys im not that shallow...

- god when they do snap out of it and then act like they still love Seth. Horrible actors. so bad at this

- all these poor people :(

- its the son!!!!

- thats a whole ass lot of zats. The sgc set for life

- atf guy: its my fault if they die

Jacob: its MY fault if they die

Tealc: hey if anyones gonna take the blame for their untimely demise its ME

- my sg1 kids saving the people first 💗

- daniels dubbed gasp when he turns around I'm crying aaldjejsnsnsn

- daniel: "bomb?"

Jack: "bomb"

- when the dad sees his son and the son stops and they just stare at each other after nine months of imprisonment IM FINE

- love how when jacob gets hurt selmek takes over and always reasures Sam :')

- selmek telling Sam that she can use the ribbon device she just has to summon the ability from within GOD THIS IS GOOD

- WE LOVE SAM HELL YEAH

- holy shit she pushed him into the ground and broke his back. This is a family show I swear

- "hail dorothy" STOP

- does her brother even know that jacob is alive?? What did they tell him when jacob went to live in space???

- awkward hug!

- KIDS???? oh yeah I remember Sam saying she had a niece and nephew I think

~

Whump under the cut

Jack Oniell whump: shocked by ear device, forced kneeling, passing out, mind control, thrown by ribbon device

Daniel jackson whump: shocked by ear device, forced kneeling, passing out, mind control, thrown by ribbon device

Sam carter whump: forced kneeling, mind control, passing out

🎶listening to Heathens by Twenty One Pilots 🎶 because of them being under cover among dangerous mind controlled people

[wafflesetc]

I’ll be there for you Chapter 2

I’ll be there for you Arc I | I’ll be there for you Arc II: Chapter 1

A/N: It’s been how long? BUT IT’S BACK! Thank you as always to @kkruml​ and @missclairebelle​ who always know just want needs to be added on, fixed, elaborated, and give me a strong kick in the arse when needed. 

The One With The Heartbeat

“Mhmmmm.” I sleepily mumbled as I crawled into the bed. Jamie turned in his slumber, reaching for me.

“Yer home late.” His voice with husky with sleep, but I could hear the double meaning in his tone.

“I know, I’m sorry.” My body aligned with his, as it did perfectly without fail. “We had a M&M conference today, Joe and I stayed late to talk to Dr. Murphy…”

“It’s not just you, anymore Sassenach.” My body felt a rush of cold air as he sat up, sending chills down my spine. I was in no mood to rehash this argument, again. “Ye have to think of the bairn...Ye ken I am no’ telling you to stop working, but I am just reminding ye to take it easy on yer feet, take it easy on the hours.”

“Jamie,” I pleaded. I reached for a pillow and smothered it over my face groaning into it. “I had a long day. It is almost midnight. I have another shift tomorrow. The last thing I want to do is argue, alright.”

“Let’s go to bed, then.” His voice was soft and almost apologetic. I succumbed to slumber as he closed the distance between us and cradled me like a small infant. It was a night without any dreams.

“How big is the bairn this week?” I watched Geillis take a swig of coffee from the nurses station.

“That dumb app you made me download says baby is about the size of a pea or something similar.” I rounded the desk and sat in a chair next to her. “God, I miss caffeine.”

“I bet ye do.” She took another sip and smirked at me. “Do ye want a small sip?”

“Yesssssssss.”  I reached for her cup and brought the hot contents to my lips.  “It’s so bloody good.”

“Ye ken a small amount isna bad for ye….” I darted my eyes at her as she rolled hers. “Yeah, yeah, I ken ye’re the doctor.”

“I know some things aren’t bad in moderation. I’m just trying to be healthy through this journey...”  I chose another term for my condition for fear of any ears that might be within hearing distance.

“How are things wi’ Jamie?” I could hear the eagerness and inquisitive undertones in her question. I sighed and leaned back into the chair.

“Ah.” I took a breath recalling how tense things between us had been. It wasn’t that he was not supportive, because he was… It was just different for him to be my boyfriend than just a friend. We’d been arguing over how many hours I was working, over my stress level, over all the food I was eating. I was being micromanaged in ways I was never used to being monitored.

“We’re… Figuring things out.” I released my breath. “The first few weeks we were in that honeymoon phase. It was all new and exciting. And now that suddenly I’m his girlfriend... He feels the need to be overprotective kicks into gear.”

Geillis laughed at that.

“I am not the type of woman who bites her tongue, nor needs to be protected!” I could feel the tips of my ears burning red.

“I ken, but maybe ye should try and see it through his eyes, Claire. I dinna ken why he feels the way he does, but the lad probably does have his reasons. He has always been a man who is fiercely loyal to his friends… I have a hunch he’d be more so over his family.”

“I… It’s…” And saved by the bell, my pager went off. “It’s not that simple.” I stood and rolled my shoulders, working out the kinks in my back.

“When are ye going to tell the rest of the work folk?”

“I’m six and a half weeks, almost seven. Jamie and I are still figuring out, what being together is like…”

She rose from her chair tossing her empty coffee cup into the waste bin. “It sounds like ye are goin’ stall as long as ye can.”

“Probably.” I unlocked my phone and dialed. “We have the first ultrasound today… I’ll call you after, let you know how it goes.”

“I’d like that and dinna fash about Jamie, ye’ll sort it out. Ye always do.”

Date of Birth. Age. Weight. Occupation.

My mind raced a mile a minute as I filled out the paperwork in the OBGYN’s office. Finishing my information, I glanced at the clock on the wall.

6:18PM.

Dr. Fisher had been more than accommodating when I had called her earlier in the week, asking for an appointment outside of normal clinic hours and after all the nursing staff had gone home.

She poked her head from behind the door, smiling at me. “I know ye had a long day and no rush on the paperwork… I’ll just be in my office next door. Come get me when ye are finished and we will start.”

“Alright.” I said dryly. Unlocking my phone, I pulled up the last text I had sent to Jamie.

Appointment is at 6:15. Office is on the third floor of the main building, office 305. Office lights will be off, come on in anyway. Through the set of blue doors and you’ll see the lights on where we are at. See you soon.

He had quickly liked my comment and replied hastily. Will be there.

My stomach dropped as 6:18 quickly turned to 6:24 and I finished signing my name on the last release. I walked to her office, knocking on the door and placing the packet on her desk.

“Are we going to wait on the father?” Dr. Fisher asked as she guided me back into the exam room.

“I… Uh….” I swallowed. “He kne-”

“Excuse me.” A familiar Scottish voice spoke as a knock accompanied. “I’m verra sorry I was late, my phone died on the train and I couldna find the right room.”

Though we had been stressed the last week, tears filled my eyes, he hadn't wanted to miss this.

I wiped a tear as I climbed up onto the exam table. His eyes met mine and I could see the line of sweat across his forehead.

“Sassenach.” He whispered coming to my side. “I wouldna have missed this for the world, ye have to know.”

I took his hand and gave it a hard squeeze. I know, it relayed to him.

“Dr. Beauchamp,” Dr. Fisher prompted as she turned on the monitor. “Take off yer scrub bottom off. There’s a sheet to keep ye covered over there. I’ll give ye a minute.”   

She left us then and Jamie’s hands found the drawstrings on my pants.

“Can I undo them?” His voice was meek, but I could see the eagerness and excitement in his eyes. Though he still looked like a petulant child who had eaten a cookie before dinner time, he also looked like a man. A man that was ready to move heaven and earth to make sure me and his child were alright. It send chills down my spine- maybe this is why he was being so overprotective- he had already done his part and now it was really all up to me.

“Yes.” I nodded, helping him shimmy them off my thighs; my undergarments followed. “Toss them on the chair and hand me the sheet.”

“Aye.”  He hitched his voice for a moment and then shook his head at me.

“Say it.” I commanded. It wasn’t a question, I knew he wouldn’t have missed this but with the guilt still written on his face I knew he would feel better once he admitted it to me.

“Ye ken, I really wouldna have missed this, right? I triedta call, but my phone died...”

I reached across my torso and slipped my fingers through belt loops of his jeans.

“Come here.” I tilted my head up and gave him my kiss me look. He more than willingly obliged.

“We’ve been on edge recently, but I know,” I rested my forehead against his searching his eyes.  “You wouldn’t miss this.”

He let out a small snort and I felt him take the folded sheet from my hands and the coolness of his touch as he hands found their way to my waist band. “Let’s get ye decent for the doc then, aye?”

We stayed like that for a few moments, breathing each other’s air, just being in each other’s orbit for the first time in days when the knock came on the door.

“Ye ready?” Dr. Fisher asked.

“Aye.” Jamie gleamed.

It was quiet for a few moments save for the crinkle of some paper, the whoosh of the gel as the doctor squirt it onto my lower abdomen, and the machine making noises.

I felt the probe on my stomach moving left to right, and then it hit just the right spot.

Lub dub. Lub dub. Lub dub.

“Sassenach,” Jamie whispered as he registered what that sound was, “We made that.”

With tears in my eyes I looked up to his face. “We sure did.”