#not even crying over a death or anything | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

llama-head · 2 years ago

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deciding to read chainsaw man was a mistake

#none of my friends have read it were all watching it but i decided to read it and wow #not even crying over a death or anything #okie so spoilers for the manga #spoilers spoilers spoilers #okie just making sure #denji waiting for reze in the cafe....got me holy #AHJHDJKAHDJ #i just love him so much and i want things to be good for my son #trust me i knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that aint gonna happen #but that one hurt she was COMING #HE HAD FLOWERS UGH #i just oof #ouch #my heart ache #anyway if anyone wants to talk chainsaw man hmu dms open!!

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captainhysunstuff · 7 months ago

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22 more images (with some saucy shenanigans and immature "seduction" tactics towards the end) below the cut:

Ryuk makes his grand return and is brought up to speed with Light and L's immoral union. The date seems pretty successful~.

Next (Mature)

Next (Super Abridged)

Master List

Transcript

#drawn by me #my fanart #my fancomic #Death Note #The Chain #lawlight #Light Yagami #L #Ryuk #smooch #saucy shenanigans #suggestive dialogue #Ryuk third-wheeling~#L meets Light's quirky-deadly roommate #henh not much to say about this one. basically a continuation of the previous entry despite the absurd update gap.#I've lost the ability to keep anything brief anymore~#L seems a bit out of character with his willingness to go with the plan huh? And don't you think he'd have gotten used to Light's teasing b #now? Maybe it hits a little different knowing for a fact that it's coming from Kira's mouth directed towards him of all people~#Also the picture where Ryuk is saying he'll scram when things get heated is probably my favorite drawing of him that I've done!#he was so intimidating to draw especially over and over in comic form. such a far cry from my usual human style #but like all things I gradually became more and more comfortable drawing him. I'm very happy about that! :)#I have a dumb idea/headcanon concerning the nerds' first copulation attempt~.#if I decide to include it here I will definitely try to age restrict it even though it won't necessarily be graphic.#don't wanna get in trouble lol #I have more trouble drawing spicy scenes than I do with shinigami subjects XD #tw: food issues #they both eat the sketchy 'apple' to prove they're not cowards... despite it not being the smartest idea in the world. >_>

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archduke-enver-gortash · 5 months ago

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i will go to sleep NOW 🫵 (pointing at myself)

#just can’t sleep lately. but #i’m sort of. my mental health hasn’t been getting better but also not worse.#just perpetually stuck in a hole in the ground recently #can’t find footing and climb up but the earth isn’t crumbling away even more for now #like i am alone always nobody likes my creations or me i am a monster yeah yeah yeah it’s getting boring brain #the hypochondria panic about throat cancer is new but i thought we were getting better at handling our health anxiety you wretched creature #and even then it’s recycled. we’ve done cancer so many times #no creativity 🙄🙄#me going over my throat every 5 minutes: i will die in 8 months #i guess with all this loneliness it’s like. it really amplifies my fear of death. my thoughts are all i have ultimately. just the thought of #absolutely nothing… i can’t think about it for too long or else i will start crying #and losing it even more. idk.#you know those characters who hate being immortal n shit. fun trope and i get it but that would also never be me #i would legit do anything for something like that. even just like. 100 more years. ideally a lot more but #yeah. and then my anxiety brain crashes in with ‘you won’t even turn 30 lol’#anyways. bullshit yap time over here i guess. sending good vibes to whoever read this brain fart

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kyofsonder · 10 days ago

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Life, aiming a loaded crossbow at me: I'm sorry. You were involved in the decisions that led to this, but you can't know whether they're worth it until everything is done. This is the first step. Endure it as best you can.

Me, shot with the crossbow bolt: [looks down and sees a label tied to the bolt that reads "metaphor for stressful situation"] Ow. Thanks for the warning, I guess? At least it's the only thing I'm getting shot with for a good while.

Life, reloading several bolts into the crossbow at once: Have you ever heard of speed shooting?

Me: I want it to be known that I resent this.

Life: Noted. [shoots me multiple times in quick succession]

Me, on the floor and stuck full of crossbow bolts all over my body: Recovering from this is gonna suck.

#sonder speaks #personal post #I'm trying to joke about my stress #but I did in fact get so stressed that it triggered a seizure #and then my immune system was so compromised from the stress and seizure that I'm now sick #and those are just the incidental health side effects of the stress itself #the situations have been numerous and covered a wide range of severity #the first crossbow bolt was my family deciding to move states and realizing the timeline will be very very short #the next was one of my budgies dying #then my dad having a week+ long dramatic panic attack meltdown about the move #he's past the worst of the meltdown itself but the deep deep fear is still an issue and a stressor #then it was my mom and sister panicking over making things work #then it was my seizure and being in the ER right up until it was time to catch a flight #then stress over helping to find the rught house while knowing none of them will satisfy the fear of my dad #but most of them will fit the criteria for which we originally chose to move #and then the dog we inherited from my grandma -- who's never bonded with anyone but me and never that deeply with me #who was in the shelter for a day and then retrieved and who I defended when other family members wanted her returned --#she growled at my 6 month old niece and nobody is bonded enough with her to train her to be gentle with a baby or toddler #she's a risk to my niece so she had to go back to the shelter and I'm a lot sadder and more stressed about it than I expected #I even cried and I don't cry over anything not even the deaths of grandparents or pets #and it's looking like I might have diabetes too but I can't get my labs done to find out for sure until I'm not sick #and the crossbow just keeps being fired at me #I know others are more stresed over more and bigger things #but I am so sick of these crossbow bolts #I want to be done with these #I want my stress levels down

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totallyawesome123 · 2 months ago

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rediscovering I have empathy? craaaazyyyyy

#beanie babbles #okay so this is gonna be a vent post but all in the yags #tw pet death #tw death #i hope dont think this is ablest language but its not precise language #Here we go #I never really doubted I have a capacity for empathy. It can be kind of hit or miss- amd even when I dont understand I try to be compassion #-ate. all that good stuff blah blah #Whats a lot more accurate to say is I dont really feel bad for dead people #I'll feel bad at the idea of somone dying maybe. I dont want living people to suffer and die just because.#I get upset when my friends are suicidal or when somone goes out and kills other people or even when a fictional charecter dies sometimes #but the mourning isnt about their death. it sucks that i cant hang out with them any more or that they cant experiance shit any more #but im not crying at a casket #But I did cry when I found my housemates pet bird limp on the floor of the cage today- the other one not seeming to even realize #This is the second time. The first one the birds were closer and the loving one wouldnt stop making noise tryong to get our attention #this one didnt mind as much- was just hungry and looking for some more feed. The feeders were empty and water gross #I stay with the birds every day and make sure they get excerize and enrichment because my housemate cant do that part #but i dont check the nessicities #so that was a shock. I refilled the food compartment after taking the dead bird out and putting them in a box #I dont think thats why they died. These birds have their wongs clipped before purchase and cant flay very well at all #But this bird practiced and was able to get a lot of height and distance as feathers grew back. But didnt know how to stop #Constantly crashing into floors and walls. Thats the main culprit I think #Its just weird that I cry easier over birds and fictional charecters and material things than my family. I feel guilty about it #Not that guilty i got all that angst out in 2020 #vent post #not really actually this turned into an explination of events more #anyway #the actual post had nothing to do w9th anything bru

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sunday-12-25 · 3 months ago

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love being crazy. never a dull moment

#its ridiculous how i present myself and my symptoms so neatly sorted VERSUS how i actually experience that shit first-hand #we were doing some grounding safe-space exercise with my doc today n i was you know. imagining the places #n then out of nowhere i saw -her- there. i dont know why it felt so surprising but... she came for me and i was so... touched #like i... think i just... i didnt know she was real? i thought. god this sounds so miserable but i really thought i was making her do this #even though weve been talking for years and shes been my comfort. but i think its cuz she came when i didnt expect her and she just took my #hand and i. i did feel safe #it did feel like a safe space. but then i was so shocked by this whole thing that i forgot why we were even doing this exercise in the firs #place n my doc was like so! what did you see : ) n i know i could. have been quiet but i guess we were trying to mask less and i was still #so shocked that i really just told her. yes doc i... saw a... a friend. shes been with me for a while now but i was still thinking shes jus #a character or something. but she came to me and she told me she cared and im just so happy that shes real bcs i love her #ive loved her and i thought i was making her stay but she wanted to stay with me! bcs she loved me too!!#and i was like trying not to spontaneously cry bcs i legit was NOT expecting any of that. and i was also ... actually i dont think i though #abt it feeling cringe. even tho it. is a little difficult... but i DID think about how strange it felt to be honest abt it with a doctor #bcs its like... with the docs ive had and life in general its always...not about being honest but abt HOW WILL SAYING THIS HELP ME GET X #and yeah i dont trust them. even tho i... trust these doctors i guess. theyve been handling it well for years. they admit the system #still it feels so damn unsafe to mention anything cuz how crazy is TOO crazy for a person with power over you... anyway i do trust the doc #n she knew. but its still weirdddd to mention shit abt it that is not life or death. but it was so out of nowhere and i was so happy like #KATRIN!!! KATRIN SHES REAL!! SHES REAL OH GOD SHES ACTUALLY THERE FOR ME IM GOING TO CRY!!!! WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABT

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buckpaws · 3 months ago

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when MF DOOM said theres only 1 beer left

#vent/ a little tiny bit #im good and im strong but also #0__________________________________0 #its too real #glad i work mornings every day basically now so i cant be tempted that early lol its a problem #also sorry if this uncomfortable im enjoying my blog as a space to even. express myself maybe #have not had a drinking problem since 2017 until the last 6 months basically #and im having trouble continuing to be (above) strong and good lol #literally i am one not making a caustuit post away from succumbing to the darkness. i love them for reminding me #love is everywhere. love is in all places. strength and patience will find you when you dont expect them #reminds me of 2015 crying myself to sleep from the darkness and the abuse just saying #“at least chef is happy at least chef is happy” over n over #autism special interest isnt just thing i like its thing that makes me feel whole and that i am real #i see myself and myself is real #myself cant handle this but you know who can?#a terrified damaged scientist and the people who love them. who help them beat the odds of the world and their own mind #the reserved and angry scientist who finds his purpose not in the death hes pursued but the only life he would give anything #to preserve and protect and LOVE #these thoughts i can love too..

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us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2 · 4 months ago

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me: why don’t I remember some things

also me: OH YEAH L TAKES OVER FOR LIKE 87% of EVERYTHING

#-pop #L save me. Save me L. L save me.#she knows how to do maths and won’t tell me #and like so much other things the skills I have learned are writing related and her’s are maths and science and shit #and she takes notes. She actually fucking takes notes. Unlike me who does not #she basically did most of all the highschool equivalent stuff. And proto-pop did some (before me and poppie split)#poppie took all the maths with her. Freaking why. I had to relearn most of it from scratch iugviuvvhiuuivh #my skills are like so unrelated to anything useful lol #L knows how to fence. How to kinda write? Not really. she can read really well and is good at maths. She also is very practical and pragmat #She also NEVER swears. Even Under penalty of death. her honor would be ruined if she did #You look at her and she’s this bright person who just wants to do things #it was mostly her idea for the whole drafting stuff. Anyway so far we are all on board #It’s fun honestly building houses is fun. I like all the writing parts and doing all the material picking #and writing. I love writing #she would rather cry #it’s why I took over for most of it smh and then I struggled because I don’t take notes bc I don’t need to #L loves to leave me with the parts she just doesn’t wanna do and then I HAVE TO DO IT when she could have just fucking wrote some shit and-#been done 4 months ago

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lemonadehtwooh · 7 months ago

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Van Gogh, they named a gecko after you. You loved animals, didn't you? They named a gecko after you. It's called "Cnemaspis vangoghi". It's very beautiful, I hope it thrives

I hope you know how many people love you today, and that we grieve you still. I hope you know that they named a gecko after your paintings, that we love your paintings

#I'm crying over Van Gogh again #Help me I'm just so emotional over him #I relate to him A Lot more than I should #I think about his death a lot more than I should #He was recovering ): and his death was so sudden #I still think about the theory that some boys had accidentally shot him and he didn't say anything to protect them #Either way. I just think about Van Gogh a lot #van gogh #Cnemaspis vangoghi #I love his art. I even have a necklace my brother gave me of his painting of sunflowers #Sunflowers is my favorite painting #Additionally. The actual flower of sunflowers are my favorites. Along with white roses #I also made a painting of my late guinea pig in the style of Van Gogh for a painting class I took in high school #It's my favorite painting I made. Ever #Do you think Van Gogh would have liked my painting of my guinea pig?#Do you think he would be happy that people are inspired by him?#Sorry. I'm just very emotional atm

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ectoplasmer · 9 months ago

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in the middle of reading the new wind excerpt and god. oh my god. someone sedate me

#AGHHHHHH frostpaw. my baby :(#she spent a wholeeee book building up her courage to approach and accept what actually happened to her and her mother and her clan #she spent a whole book recovering and coming to terms with and understanding what she had to do #she spent a whole book preparing herself to save her clan and prove herself and it just Blows Up In Her Face within one gathering. crying #and the way splashtail just undermines her right in front of her clan?? telling them she must be psychotic or having a breakdown of somesor #that she must be confused and lost and hurt over her mother’s death and how they can’t trust what she says because of that #babying her in front of everyone right to her face. fucked up man #i mean she is Baby but i believe she is actually full grown by this point and is at the age where she would usually be made full medicineca #it’s just. god. everyone not trusting her. everyone throwing accusations at her. everyone not even giving her the time of day #so messed up!!! i’m going to go cry about it now bye #YES i’m getting emotional over a series meant for 6th graders leave me alone!! /hj #delete later #but like man. everyone in her clan rejected her. even her own family?? her siblings???? MOTHWING????#i know they can’t really do anything and riverclan wants stability but. man she’s just a baby. she’s still an apprentice cut her some slack #at least frostpaw will be with shadowsight #they can bond over their shared trauma of being led on by someone and getting almost killed by said someone #….weird how that happened twice within two arcs #inherently doomed medicine cats my beloveds. you are everything to me and you deserve so much better god damnit #listen i loved what the erins did with bristlefrost last arc but they cannot do that to me again #good on them for being brave and killing off a protag but no!!! not with these ones this time!!!!!#anyway

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moophinz · 1 year ago

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Very recently a Y0 Nishiki plushie was announced. I was taking that as a sign that he might be brought back soon, since let's be honest- nobody really cared when he died. Have you seen a single person cry at that scene? And it's not like him being dead or not is going to change anything at this point either. But I can't read Yokoyama's mind, just go off the trends. And since everybody and their (grand)mother is coming back, maybe fish fans have something to look forward to too. Yokoyama is also aware that the big three- Mine, Ryuji and Nishiki are the most requested revivals by fans.

He’s had multiple pieces of merch over the years so I don’t think I can easily see the most recent one as meaning anything. Also, there’s definitely people out there who were upset with him dying. Be it dying at all (I’ve seen this with Japanese fans too) or the way that he died. I know the number isn’t enormous due to how a lot of people feel about him in general, but yeah he’s got his fans. His death has also been a motivator to Kiryu at times and his memory and all that so I don’t really know if it wouldn’t magically have no effect at all. On Kiryu personally anyway. But those are just some of my vague-ish thoughts. And yeah I know Yokoyama is aware he’s one of the big three. He would have to bring him back in a way that was as formulated as what he spoke of for Mine

#we’ll literally just have to wait and see if anything with Nishiki comes up at all in 8 #I would be a little shocked if he didn’t even get a mention #yakuza #anon #also I’ve seen a handful of streamers cry over his death #I recently discovered two more who did #I don’t know how they’d specifically feel if he came back but it seems Nishiki fans in general really want him of course

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2kyears · 1 year ago

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i dont want to go to work tomorrow. i dont want to see her desk, her notes about programs, i dont want to pretend to be strong for my team, i don't want to cry anymore.

#death tw #suicide tw #out of character // not a vamp #it made me cry all over again to see the sponges on the desk bc she was so excited to host her program yesterday #i couldnt even sleep last night bc everytime i closed my ey es i rethought everything i said to her thursday i thought about how i checked #on her and how i saw something was off and just thought she was going through something personal and shed be fine and i just...im trying no #blame myself im trying not to think i could have done something bc there was nO WAY i could have known but its not the smae without her #leading the childrens programs. theres gonna be someone else in that desk and i hate this grief i havent eaten anything all day

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bo0zey · 2 years ago

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manic mixed depressive episode on my bday is so fun especially when ur going on 2 days no sleep n have a 12hr shift starting at the asscrack of dawn in 6hrs

#idk if i want to sleep like i do but i don’t i just keep walking in circles n staring off blankly #also bursted into tears for no reason bc i missed my mom and remembered how much i hate my fucking birthday #was in the middle of a borderline argument w my family then just zoned out n glanced at the time and tears welled #6:13???#then i pretended to go to the bathroom to hide my tears from my dad cuz he would’ve yelled at me if i went to my room w/o saying anything #so there i am crying like a pathetic loser on the toilet trying to suppress n swallow down ugly sobs #and there i am crying in my dumpster fire of a room on the floor #i literally go the entire year without crying abt her but every time december hits i always get into this weird funk #and idk why it’s still happening it’s been 7 years #i think my subconscious mind is influencing my body to release the trauma stored inside it bc i was never allowed to grieve her properly #so now in blips of time leading up to my birthday and the next day of her passing i’m 15 turning 16 again #i wish i didn’t have to work tomorrow so i could go visit her at her grave instead like i never go to the cemetery but i really want to #i guess i can go on her actual death day but i don’t want to go with my dad and brothers i just want to be alone #they don’t understand the feeling of losing your mom and best friend on your 16th bday #they don’t understand what it’s like carrying all this guilt and trauma and holding her hand and feeling her hand go limp at my words #i told her it was okay she could let go i would take care of my brothers and protect them from my father and i would be strong for everyone #meanwhile i’m listening to my dad n my aunt throwing all her clothes in trash bags upstairs #i didn’t even get to pick out what clothes i wanted to keep of hers im so angry my dad refused to let any of us miss her #“i miss mom-‘ ‘she’s dead get over it!’#i got over it alright but then this time of year rolls around and i’m under it all again #i miss her so much i wonder if she’d be proud of me i wonder what it would be like to feel her hand in mine again #ooos im crying again lol #im so pathetic i’m literally 23 in less than 30 minutes why am i behaving like a crybaby child #23:33 when i was typing that btw n 333 is my angel/life path number lol #i wanna saw my arm off but i won’t #i debated staring an iv on myself instead but i’m too drained i just want lay down n cry lol #pathetic loser crybaby girl can’t function can’t shut up making everyone uncomfortable with her sadnes n tears stupid stupid stupid #drown in them and die nobody here loves you anymore nobody cares you’re the problem always the problem #i can’t remember if my mom loved me or not everyone says she did but i forgot what it feels like #i wish i never told her it was okay to let go i lied to her i said i’d be okay but here i am manic depressive

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apathyfairy · 1 year ago

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#tonight or tomorrow morning actually is the 4 year anniversary of my dog dying and like surprise surprise lol im still not over it like.#i honest to god dont think i ever will. i honestly dont know how people move on and get other pets and just. keep on living like i #understand it like for some people it's part of the healing process but i just could never do it. like i just cant even fathom #i dont know that's not the point. the point is im having such a hard time because everytime i do anything tonight i keep thinking #4 years ago i still had my dog or 4 years ago in 5 hours i didnt know id be going to the vet at 1am and going home without my dog at 5am #and i just keep reliving it no matter how hard i try to not. and on one hand i want it hurt like i want to remember it just to punish myself #i just i just cant move on like it's just. i went 24 years of my life without ever experiencing death and then 4 years ago today my dog dies #in the most tragic possible way ever and then 11 months later my other dog who i had for 17 years since i was 8 dies and yeah still #not over that one either because i never let myself process that or truly grieve her because i had to shut that up real tight #or i would have lost it for real. and i have the most fucked up miserable tragic dreams about her so many nights a week #because she was old and had been u know. like old dogs do they just decline and that was impossibly hard to watch but at least i kind of #knew it was coming u know but like with my other dog. there was just absolutely no warning it was so sudden and it just ripped me apart and #i honest to god will never be okay again and then 6 months after all that i find out my ex died and only because after 6 years i finally #Finally decide to have the guts to talk to him again and apologize and explain and try to be friends and then nope he's dead #then in between all those deaths a super close family friend died and my grandpa my dad's dad died and like it's just #i had never even experienced death before and then all of a sudden i was engulfed in it and i just dont know how to come back from it.#but tonight is just. painful. like i havent even said his name out loud since it happened. i cant talk about him at all just writing this i #want to cry like it just fucking hurts forever. and it should i guess.#and i feel so stupid because so many times i wonder if my cat even remembers them and i wonder if she misses them too and idk #that makes me feel stupid and emotional and im just a wreck but i should be.

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trickstarbrave · 1 year ago

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i love your art style and your sense of humour and your passion and the way you write and how you keep moving forward so. thank you. and may you be blessed by any superior creature who would care enough to bless mortals

anon ur so sweet im gonna cry

#im a little creature..... i appreciate the kind words....#im also a huge crybaby ill cry over anything #as for higher power i have avoided death an incredible amount #so i hope a higher power is out there is lookin out for me #that or i am too powerful to be killed even by a god

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thetardisisnotourdivision · 2 years ago

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You know that bit of year eleven where you've finished all the content for the courses you're doing but it isn't quite exam season yet so it just feels like you're in limbo... how from the very start of the year I just felt like I was waiting for the 15th of May, to start the exams I've been prepared for since I was four... all the threats and practice and now it's real and it's like you just can't process it, something that has been nothing but a looming shadow for so long is suddenly so real and just around the corner. Full circle. It'll all be over and my mind just can't figure out what to do with that knowledge.

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