#not even a fucking headcanon

[iheartmoons]

yk what pisses me the fuck off? people being so obsessed w regulus that they downplay sirius' trauma just to make reg a sadder character that they can relate to. do whatever u want with reg - this is a free fandom, jkr doesn't run it and ur allowed to think whatever, but its actually baffling how ur willing to legit take away sirius' trauma for reg. i've seen people say that 'reg is the second choice child' like... ur kidding me, right? just because... he's younger?? doesn't make him second choice??? i will confidently say that sirius is 100% the less favoured child and i will fight anyone on it - i mean, how is this even a fucking debate?!? what is wrong with people?! sure, reg's story is sad and interesting but i desperately need you to stop depriving him of every little good thing in his life just to improve his story.

i will 100% confidently say that sirius is objectively one of the most, if not the most, traumatised character in the marauders fandom. yes, i know we shouldn't compare people's trauma, and with any other character i wouldn't. but this is sirius. he was physically and mentally abused by his parents, he felt that he had to protect a young child when he was only a year older and developed a martyr complex, had his family try and manipulate him into joining their cult at 16, ran away from home and was disowned at 16, grew up in wartime, he became a child solider at 18, his *adoptive* parents died at 19, his brother died at 19, his relationship w remus was falling apart, he got framed for the murder of his bsfs at 21 and then spent 12 years of his life getting his soul sucked out of him, at 33 he gets let out and his godson thinks he's a murderer and he has to un-learn his dog-like behaviours, at 34 the war begins again, at 35 he dies, and then in the afterlife watches remus have a wife and child. please fight me on this because i could go all day for him.

[spocks-husband]

In Bruce's phone, he keeps the contact photos for all his kids as their baby pictures (or the closest approximation that he has).

Dick's is a photo of him when he'd first designed his Robin costumes, smiling ear to ear as he proudly showed off his first hand-sewn prototype.

Jason's is a picture Alfred got of the boy sitting on Bruce's shoulders while they went over a case.

Tim is him fast asleep in the middle of taking notes on his first real mission (he wanted to impress Bruce really bad).

Damian is a polaroid he got from Talia of him when he was about a year old, teething on a mango seed as he sat on the floor of his mother's room.

Cass is entirely blacked out except for her big bright eyes that can be seen in the darkness-- Bruce thinks it's the cutest photo ever.

Even Babs has hers set to a photo of her with her first computer, grinning happy as she probably hacked into a federal database somewhere. He got that photo from Jim.

Likewise, of course, Alfred's (very bareboned) smartphone that he barely uses has Bruce's contact set with a photo of him playing in the snow as a little boy.

[sugarlywhispers]

the sudden thought of bakugou katsuki sending an audio to his s/o while at the gym, where he speaks IN BETWEEN GASPS AND GRUNTS AND EVEN GROWLS BECAUSE OF THE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT HE'S LIFTING WHILE ALSO TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE FOR DINNER AND SUGGESTING MEALS OR PLEACES TO GO IF YOU WANT AND THEN HE SAYS, "Ugh... whatever you... mmh... want, baby, it's yours..." AND HE EXHALES FUCKING SEXILY AS THE SOUND OF THE WEIGHT DROPPING IS HEARD.

— I'M DYING HELP.

[crplpunkklavier]

hey after kristoph gavin planted atroquinine in a kid's favorite nailpolish, while he was spending seven long agonizing years waiting for the kid to actually poison herself, how badly do you think he pissed his dumb little blue pants when 6 years in his brother presumably out of nowhere published a song titled "atroquinine my love" and made the whole world sing it for a little while

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

Most Antivan Crows do not live long enough to experience a midlife crisis

The Crows supply their ranks generally from orphans, illegitimate or abandoned children, children purchased from slavery, whore houses and other similar sources. Some are born into the Crows already, but those would be a very small minority, for reasons explained below.

Lucanis mentions that Crow training involves a lot of acrobacy. After a brief search, sports with similar physical requirements such as gymnastics, ballet and martial arts have the ideal starting age in the range of 4-10 years, 15 at the latest, when the children's joints are still flexible (and their minds can be easily manipulated). Zevran is canonically stated to have been taken at the age of 7.

Crow training is intense and brutal, involving straight up torture as tests of pain tolerance. From the 18 fledglings of House Arainai taken in the same year as Zevran, only two survived to the end of their training (World of Thedas Vol. 2). Training with real weapons, harsh punishment, possibly the Spartan custom of underfeeding the children and driving them to stealing food for themselves to encourage learning stealth and resourcefulness, and very likely killing any who try to run away, all these are very likely factors for the high death rate among fledglings.

If the average age of newest Crow fledglings is 6, they might be ready for promotion to the rank of Assassin very well as early as the age of 14-15. This is where the second meat grinder starts, these new Crows will already have plenty experience, but the first solo contracts will still likely take many of them, either killed by their targets, by their Masters for failing the contract, or by themselves to avoid the pain and humiliation of returning to their Masters unsuccessful. This period might likely have the highest suicide rates in general, as the new Crows are still relatively emotionaly vulnerable but old enough to comprehend their position in the world and the weight of their actions.

Promotion to the rank of Assassin also certainly brings great benefits that only increase as the Crow's career progresses and their contracts bring them more coin. The comforts and opulence of Antiva are for them to take, and someone who has grown up only knowing hunger and pain will certainly not hold back. Alcohol, drugs, sex, all the addictions and diseases will surely take the lives of many Crows.

An Assassin's career begins early and ends early. To use sports and dance once again, most porfessional gymnasts and ballet dancers retire between the ages of 25 and 35 as their physical capabilities decline. Those who have survived this long will be granted the rank of Master and oversee the distribution of contracts and the training of fledglings, and will participate in actual assassinations much less. This is also where one might strive to become a Grandmaster or even a Talon. At this point, a Crow will have enough prominence within the organization that they might become a target themselves. Only the most skilled, well-connected and ruthless Crows will continue to rise and, most importantly, continue to live.

If a presumed average number of fledglings per House is around 20, 2-3 will make it to Assassin. In one Assassin's 20 years long career, that would make only about 50 new Assassins out of 400 fledglings. Probably only about a half of those will make it to 35. Even fewer will make it to 50. Out of 400 children bought or stolen from the streets.

Caterina Dellamorte is over 70 years old.

[ipostmysimpingstuffanonymously]

They live in my head rent free. Drop your headcanons in the reblogg tags

[kenm4vhs]

he means the world to me your honor ✋🏻😭

[lucabyte]

"So what's the weirdest possible first (second) impression Loop could make on the party in postcanon?" "Yeah, that, probably."

+ Bonus

theyre just standing there in direct party order while this happens. normal tuesday.

[nightthinker-08]

I couldn't sleep so I drew some Pomnies shes surprisingly fun to draw lol Oh and some doomed yuri too I guess xD buttonblossom is cute n all but calling them doomed yuri or digital yuri is a lot funnier to me

[obihoebikenobi]

Logan can't sleep.

It's too damn loud in the apartment. The sound of cars racing by, police sirens, whispers of the late night crowd wandering the streets from club to bar to taxi.

He can hear it all, sensitive ears picking up each sound through Wade's thin window panes. The flicker of lights doesn't help, adding to the sensation of too fucking much.

It makes Logan tense, makes his skin crawl, makes adrenaline course through his veins despite his attempts to tamp it down. For so long he'd been living in the outskirts of population, avoiding the influx resentful stares that came with cities.

So Logan can't sleep, hasn't slept, save for the few moments of overwhelming exhaustion dragging him over the ledge into the shallow depths of muted sleep. It's only ever for a short while, never long enough to cure him of the heavy-limbed pull of weariness.

Instead, he paces, watches raindrops trail down the windows, scours the apartment for something to fidget with until the first glimmer of sunlight replaces the dark and he can take the dog for a walk.

But of course, eventually Wade notices, because Wade notices everything.

Before Logan has a chance to protest, Wade has purchased a set of noise cancelling headphones, and an extra cot to shove in the corner of Al's bedroom which sits further from the busy street so he can try to sleep more during the day while she's gone and he isn't in danger of hurting her in his sleep.

Wade makes him a cup of warm tea every night, feeds Logan a full meal of pasta and bread, sets up black-out curtains and pulls them closed an hour or two before they head to bed. Wade takes him out on runs, lowers the temperature in the apartment a couple of degrees, runs Logan a bath a couple nights a week when he sees the anxious tremor in Logan's hands.

Wade presses himself close when they crawl into bed, holds him without teasing and Logan lets him do it without a cursory excuse.

It takes time, days and weeks, but it works.

Sleep comes, not easy but easier, and Logan finds himself relaxing into the schedule, into the grounding arms that curl around his side and pull him close under the sheets.

It's getting better because of Wade, the same Wade who looks at Logan like he hung the goddamn stars. Logan looks back at him the same way, because Wade is surprisingly gentle, and Logan hasn't felt gentleness in years.

There's a burning sensation deep in Logan's chest one night as he drifts in the hazy waves of interrupted sleep. Something like fondness, need, reverence, affection.

He decides to tell Wade in the morning.

[benevolenterrancy]

@ladyprophet thank you!! (,,> ᴗ <,,)

I feel like SQH's quality of writing would be right up WWX's alley - kinda trashy, kinda hilarious, very horny! he would very happily follow along with all new chapter updates! on the other hand WWX's willingness to do completely insane things with no sense of self-preservation would probably be stressing SQH out a bit xD

[sockmeat]

Alastor gets horny for romance and it's a real treat to witness

The weather gets colder and his behavior gets so much stranger... To others, anyway. You're well aware of this little routine Alastor goes through every year

You know immediately why Alastor is suddenly so much more interested in travelling with you. Normally, he'd simply ask where you were going and send you off easily, but now he's insisting that he goes to your work with you to "protect" you even though you have nothing to worry about

He feeds you like he's an Italian grandma. If he's not with you, he's in the kitchen making something for you, but if he is with you, he's dragging you to the kitchen to make something for you

He gets increasingly nitpicky about your diet and lifestyle. Generally he's a normal amount of annoying with everything you do, but it gets crazy when he's in rut

Suddenly he's insisting that you work too much and he needs to pamper you

He only allows you to eat food that he's made, which tends to be from scratch. How is he supposed to know who made these noodles? Who the hell laid these eggs? Fuck this, he's getting a chicken.

You have a chicken now... Fat Nuggets has a buddy :)

No fast food for you!! Alastor insists he knows a better recipe and will make you forget about the nasty greasy food

He's crazy because he's right, guys

Somehow he does make the food better and now you can't look at it the same anymore

This is only unfortunate when you want a yummy 3 a.m. snack

But now it's 7 a.m. and you may as well have just gone to bed

It's yummy, but is it worth it?

[royaltea000]

his cutie mark :(

[throwmethroughawindow]

have you guys ever heard of a milking table???

i cannot get the imagine of Logan being coerced into laying on the table and being tied down to be teased because you bet him that he wouldn’t be able to handle it😩

Within ten minutes he’s sweating from the soft touches, wet kisses and licks along the prominent vein on the underside of his cock. Grunting for you to just “suck his cock already sweetheart,” but Logan’s been so busy and never having time for you, why shouldn’t he suffer a little?

his pretty cock glistening from all the precum and lube, the tip red and begging for you to take it in your wet mouth. Running your fingers through the wiry hairs around the base of his cock, his deep moans reverberating through the room as Logan tries to thrust towards your mouth; smearing precum along your cheek

should i… should i expand on these thoughts?? Are you guys vibing w this??

[zillychu]

Consider this: ghosts are actually exactly what the Fentons think they are.

They're snapshots of a longing so strong, unfinished business so deep it reaches out beyond life. Lingers just a bit longer. And if it happens to meet a dense cloud of ectoplasm (invisible to the naked eye, but omnipresent even in the mortal realm), it coalesces. The ectoplasm fits into the shape of it. Which, when the desire is strong enough, it's got a rough idea of its self-image. This tends to mean a more humanoid figure, though it's more often warped in some way–a self-reflection, skewed by said desire. The warping varies on the dead soul’s perception of themselves, the intensity of their desire, how much time passed after death, and how much ectoplasm was present.

In short… no matter how “normal" a ghost looks or acts, it really, truly isn't human. It's animated ectoplasm with a single goal: an obsession. Nothing else. They're more akin to plants than animals, following a single drive with no emotion. They react to stimuli, recognize threats (including other ghosts), and can even imitate human speech and mannerisms to obtain fulfillment of their obsession.

Not “evil" by any stretch, but they're entirely driven by instinct. A tree doesn't pause to consider the rocks it breaks with its roots. A cordyceps doesn't torture its host for fun, or kill with malice. It just does. It follows code in its DNA to survive and multiply–And ghosts just follow the code in its ectoplasm to fulfill its obsession. The more powerful a ghost, the better it's able to overcome obstacles preventing this–whether through brute force, or manipulation. This power is always directly proportional to the amount of ectoplasm present at the time of formation, and how much time passed since death.

What then, does this mean for Danny? Danny, who's previously come to the conclusion that he's only half-ghost, which surely explains how he retained his mind? His independent thoughts and emotions?

What does this mean for Phantom, who experienced an entire world’s worth of ectoplasm condensed as a singularity, at the exact time of his death? Whose strength only grows and begins to exceed every limit they previously thought possible?

If a ghost was as strong as him… could it mimic a human perfectly? Down to a molecular level?

Could it, in its desire to fill an obsession… trick its own fake mind into thinking it was still human? Or half-ghost?

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

More random Nimona headcanons

Bal is one of those people who isn’t allergic to anything except one random medication that no one uses 

Ambrosius calls him a lucky bastard every time it’s brought up because he’s allergic to everything 

His allergy list is at least three pages long and he doesn’t remember a single thing on that list 

Whenever they go out to eat Bal has to remind him “No you can’t eat that it has olives” “Not that either love it’s got lemon” and so on 

Most of his allergic reactions are pretty tame so he’ll eat it anyway

And it gives Bal and Nimona so much fucking anxiety 

One time Bal walked in on Nimona chasing Ambrosius around the kitchen yelling “Spit out the carrots Nemesis you don’t even like them that much!!” 

Whenever he eats alone he refers to it as a game of Russian roulette 

Bal refers to it as the reason he has high blood pressure

Because Bal and Ambrosius grew up in the limelight (for very different reasons) there are a million pictures of them through the years 

And they use those videos to bully the hell out of each other 

Bal can quote the video from the beginning of the movie not because it was an important moment in his childhood 

But because Ambrosius will quote it at the most random times throughout the day

Bal will do something small like kill a bug or chase out an animal that Nimona brought in

And he’ll hear Ambrosius mumble “I’m here to slay monsters and protect our kingdom”

He was a little worried Nimona would react badly to this habit but he started joining in 

One time he killed a spider and Ambrosius asks “Are you slaying monsters moonbeam?” Nimona yells from the other room “I’m so proud of him he’s truly protecting our kingdom” 

There are a million photos of baby Ambrosius on the internet 

And Bal made a PowerPoint presentation ranking their cuteness factor out of 10 (100 was the lowest score he got and it was a picture of him with the ugliest bowl cut you’ve ever seen)

And made Ambrosius sit through it 

That was the most loved and mortified he had felt in a long time

Nimona uses low-quality pictures of them as reaction photos 

There have been times when Nimona asks “Can we eat out tonight” and Bal tells her no and she sends him this 

He’ll text back “Is that my fucking wanted poster?!” 

She asked Ambrosius if there was any ice cream left and he said no he expected her to call him and complain he didn’t expect this 

He calls her yelling “When the fuck did that happen?!” 

And she hangs up immediately to let Bal deal with it