#not enough bonks to make the chip go away

[gh-woah-st]

Kitty Dew Tidbits

Some important little things @sphylor, @divine-misfortune, and I have said that probably won't make its way into a post on its own.

This got long so there's a second post with puppy Mountain here

So Sphy did end up talking about the hats thing but I had already compiled this list so instead have some pictures of kitty Dew's hats

Also mentioned in that post is the shark onesie, which kitty Dew LOVES. It was originally Rain's so it's a bit big on him, but that makes it even more perfect because it smells like Rain and the sleeves are long enough to flap around

This one is a direct copy and paste because no summary will capture it correctly

Rain does that thing where he'll stick his tongue out a little when he's focused and Dew always mirrors it "oh its time for bleps now? ok!!" Rain: :p Dew: :p

Dew is captivated by videos of birds at bird feeders and sits as close to the TV as possible to bap at the birds

(one time they had to replace the TV because he tried to pounce on a bird and broke it)

(The first time he saw a bird outside the window he nearly got a concussion by pouncing at it head on)

Rain and Dew also sometimes watch ocean documentaries in bed on Rain's laptop, and Rain has to keep his arms around Dew to keep him from trying to attack the fish. Maybe also to hold a cuddly kitty, but mostly to keep him from pouncing... definitely

Speaking of sleepy kitty Dew, he has a very specific bedtime and if he and Rain aren't cuddled up in bed by that time he will meow incessantly at Rain, even herding him to their room if he's tired enough or Rain takes too long

He also never sleeps normally. There's a shared photo album with all the ghouls specifically for pictures of Dew in the oddest, most uncomfortable looking positions ever. Conversations in which Rain says "idk, I've gotten used to it" or Dew says "ooohh. So that's why my back hurts so much" are very common

He likes to sit in freshly made laundry, just napping the day away. It's warm and smells like his pack, so why wouldn't he nap there?

Every once in a while, really just often enough for it to not lose its novelty, if someone accidentally runs into kitty Dew, someone else will recite the Miette post for Dew

That's normally only when Dew didn't even notice he was bonked into. When he does, he puts on the biggest show of being hurt for attention, kisses, and cuddles. He does that every time he falls over, plays too hard, or anything else that could "hurt" him. If they had to pay infirmary bills Dew would be the cause for all of them from that alone.

Every time he goes outside, kitty Dew finds a rock to add to his collection. These rocks range from a piece of sidewalk that chipped off to something actually beautiful, and they are equally important

He also likes to steal buttons off people's clothes without them noticing. He stashes them under his bed, then after a while (when he remembers about the stash) Dew will put them in a box specifically for his buttons

The abbey only has door knobs, which kitty Dew can't figure out how to use, so Rain installed a handle for their bedroom door

"How to interact with Kitty Dew," a guide for new kids (Phantom)

1. Actually get close to him and let him cuddle up to you 2. He likes being scratched behind his horns 3. If you can't tell what he wants just sit or lay down and let him curl up to you, entertain himself, or direct you to what he wants 4. If he stretches to expose his belly this is NOT an invitation to pet him there. It is actually a dastardly trap (Proof: Swiss has scars) 5. DO NOT upset him you might actually die 6. Stop tensing up whenever he goes near you he's literally a cat what is he actually going to do 7. He really likes trying to catch your tail if you swish it across the floor 8. You gotta let him catch your tail eventually though otherwise he'll get stressed and WILL bite you. Also make sure to give him lots of praise when he catches it 9. Do not give him caffeine. He will get zoomies² and you will move up on Rain's hit list (Proof: Swiss has scars from that too)

He tried to fight the tinsel on the Christmas tree once. He was found with the smuggest face and tinsel everywhere on him

If he's feeling extra silly he likes to roly poly around (links to twitter)

Dew constantly bonks Rain's mouth to ask for kisses then just looks up at him expectantly. After he gets his kiss he holds little mousey out so it can get a kiss too

Sometimes when Rain goes to kiss Dew he will lightly bite Rain's nose instead, giggling like crazy when he pulls back

Rain reads to kitty Dew a lot. Mostly kids chapter books so that Dew can follow along

Rain often wakes up to kitty Dew staring at him, inches away from his face

Though if Dew gets tired of waiting for Rain to wake up, he'll start playing with Rain's plushes and slowly start batting them closer and closer to Rain's face to "accidentally" wake him up

Sometimes when Dew plays with his toys he makes quiet chirping sounds to himself, like he's talking to them or making them talk

Mountain going puppy triggers Dew's kitty brain and vice versa. This causes a lot of problems when one of them has work to do

[honey-i-shrunk-the-son-inlaw]

You are Minöt a halfling from the land of Crete. Lovely place at the time the only problem was the fact that they had to send adolescent sacrifices to a labyrinth. You were also sent as one of said adolescent sacrifices. A young warrior was sent with your group saying how “He was going to slay the Minotaur!”… anyway you set sail to the labyrinth. You made sure to remember the star charts so you can make your way back home if you escape. You arrived and he somehow smuggled in a sword, Daggers, and a ball of yarn??? When you entered he started using the ball of yarn to keep track of his path. You were trailing his path in the shadows. Unknowingly there was another creature trailing him as well. The Minotaur was picking up and moving the string into a spiral, and waited it at the end so the abomination could ambush him. The the warrior started feeling uneasy and followed his string back “towards the entrance”. But on his way the Minotaur bull rushed him

Gouging the warrior on his horns. Then proceeding to fling him off into the wall. Where the minotaur then stomped onto his injuries. The warrior screamed for multiple days. After such the Minotaur wanted him to feel more pain by only breaking a few of his joints so the warrior couldn’t flee. You Minöt managed to survive because of your small and diminutive stature, though that didn’t help in your ability to kill the monster. Following on one of you wanderings you managed to find the few of the warriors daggers..next to a pile of bones, anyway you instantly snatched the weapons while quickly dodging the oncoming Minotaurs’ attack. A couple weeks later you found an ancient key in the visage the labyrinth It ironically brought humor as well as hope for a way out. You managed to create a map incantation to to be further able to see your surroundings. Even managing to find a nook which you can enter but the Minotaur cannot reach into. Over time you made this more and more homely slowly chipping away at the walls to make it more uniform while adding a door made out of a slab you have chiseled out. Eventually over many months you have gotten enough equipment and prep time to face the beast, but not with brute force.. No that’ll never work, But with tricks and tactics. You have dug small pit falls around the area about a 2 feet deep each. Also adding in different traps like a line of sharp bones that jettison from a hatch when a rope is cut. At the end of this you have a cliff facing into the unknown and hopefully it leads to this Minotaurs unwitting hades. You have set up a net at then end using the idiot hero’s yarn, could you believe that this was made out of pure gold?? Where you planned to jump off into the net and have the Minotaur charge after you, and IT WORKED! You managed to fell the bastard allowing you to lea\,-… oh yeah still got to figure out how to escape this hell maze. So after several very long excruciating years. You managed it, haha YOU MANAGED TO FIND THE EXIT!! After this you ran towards the city ready for some human interaction.. only to find some ruins where your home capital used to be. You eventually found some scrolls detailing how since the warrior who was supposed to slay the Minotaur but instead he died, was apparently a prince and the only heir of the kingdom that you were a citizen of. The king hearing this unfortunate news took his own life. While you were reading this were bonked in the head and promptly knocked out.

[ofcatcclysm]

Talking about all of this and putting words to her feelings was all enough to make Cori’s head spin and all she wished to do in this moment was go behind that ice cream counter and dunk her head into one of the buckets. But with Lani’s own retort, she appreciated the other girl in that moment far more than she could express herself. She kept quiet, beginning now to chip away at the walls of her waffle bowl. This was always her favorite part.

“Ugh…” Cori threw her head back, closing her eyes tightly and giving an audible sigh. “He really is the best. Like, he’s kind and considerate and always makes sure that I’m okay and does dumb things like hold the door for me and let me put on GRWM videos when we’re cuddling...” She spoke with each instance as a growing frustration, placing her waffle bowl down for a moment to bonk herself face down onto the table. “If it’s something people are already talking about, maybe I’m not as lowkey as I thought…I’m so fucked. Where’s my off switch?” Her words were grumbled as she remained face down on the table, eyes shut with a groan.

( @kelanij )

Dare she say, Cori was actually excited for today’s outing. Friends of the female variety were few and far between so when Kelani offered to grab ice cream and chat about what was on their minds, she was happy to accept.

Wearing a tank top with a cardigan and some leggings, it was a much more conservative look than the outfit (or lack thereof) she was wearing only 12 hours earlier.

Waving down the other girl, she greeted her kindly. “Hey!”

[saturn-sends-hugs]

waaaa ok, I just watched this video:

And it brought up a couple of interesting points I hadn’t thought of before!! (but maybe y’all have lol)

We know Crosshair’s chip was enhanced by the Kaminoans by like shocking his brain or whatever, but here they mentioned that that’s what finally makes Wrecker snap just before they take his chip out. His chip is starting to activate early because of all the head trauma (poor wrecker), but it’s Tech’s chip scanner and the electricity running through Wreckers brain from it that finally sets it off when Tech puts it on him. That’s definitely some Tech whump potential there lol. 🫠🫠

Also, Crosshair still has tension headaches despite supposedly having his chip removed. He keeps missing shots while trying to get the batch (especially on Ryloth), which he absolutely never did before. He doesn’t have a scar at all, and the one from the ion engine just doesn’t make sense to be evidence of his chip being removed??

I’m still not so sure what I think about his chip situation, but I say if he still has it, Hemlock’s experiments in the next season are definitely going to be doing something to it, either intentionally or not.

Makes me wonder if Hemlock knows about the chips? Cause I wonder what the motivation would be for whatever’s he’s doing to Crosshair if a side effect would be the chip not working anymore. Either he doesn’t know (in which case he’s got another thing coming for him), or he does… which is arguably scarier.

Is there something worse than the chip that he’s doing, meaning the chip is pointless to him? Maybe he’s going to directly increase the chip’s effects, or replace it all together? It seems like his project could easily tie to the Clone X thing (and i’m realizing i didn’t pay super close attention to his speeches in the last two eps lol), so I wonder if we’re going to see an even more controlled Crosshair??

Hoping that’s not the case and his chip just breaks lol, WE NEED HIM BACK 😭😭😭

[bonky-n-steeb]

this probably isn’t a good idea but this has been bobbing in my head for awhile…what if bucky had killed one of y/n’s close family members like their sibling or parent(s) or anything like that while he was winter soldier and they’re one of the people on bucky’s list in tfatws to make amends and he’s like taking them on dates and stuff to show them he’s sorry and he remembers their family member and bucky ends up catching feelings for them??

this is probably a TERRIBLE idea and i’m probably making myself look DUMB MAYBE U COULD MAKE IT A LOT BETTER IDKXKENDDN I ADORE YOU AND YOUR BLOG EEEE

Thank you!!!! You made me blush. 🥰 This is an AMAZING idea and I’ll come there and bonk you if you ever again say it’s terrible. Ily 😘 I hope you like it!

the sun and the shadow

𝙗𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || angst with a happy ending

this is not proofread :/

This reminds of that post I’d seen where it was like you go on a date with Bucky and he tells you he killed your grandma 😂

Bucky wanted to tell you. He really did. But how could he? How could he tell you about his heinous crimes when you were all he had.

Bucky still remembered your first meeting. He had cancelled the names above you on the list and now it was your turn. It was simple, he was going to confess and apologise and walk away towards a new day.

His therapist had said it would help him. He still didn’t know how removing the scabs on his wounds would ever be good for him; but he did it nonetheless.

And it was probably helpful. He could sleep much better at night knowing that there wasn’t anything to hide anymore. But he would never say this out loud; he had a grumpy reputation to maintain after all.

But then he’d met you. You were waiting for some blind date at a restaurant when he had approached you. He was about to introduce himself but before that, you’d considered him to be your blind date.

You couldn’t believe that the white wolf was your blind date. The one and only Bucky Barnes. Like were the avengers on tinder too?

Bucky thought maybe it was for the better and had started talking with you. I’ll tell her at the end of the night, he told himself. But just like your actual date, the end of the night never came.

And one date, extended to two; and two became three, and it went on. Bucky hadn’t told you he wasn’t your actual date and neither did he tell you that he had killed your only brother.

He had been on a mission where along with a few others, he had killed your brother. Back then, the soldier didn’t feel any remorse. He wasn’t programmed to feel. But now the guilt ate him every moment of his life.

He knew that the day the truth would spill out, was the day you’d leave him. And just the thought of losing you brought upon immeasurable pain.

You were filled with life and your eyes twinkled with hope as you spoke and he couldn’t blame himself for wanting to have a share of your light. You were the sun and he was the shadow.

There wouldn’t be a shadow without the sun just like there wouldn’t be darkness without light. And he too would cease to exist without you.

Hydra had sucked out his memories and emotions. And even after his memories were back, he never thought he’d ever feel again. But then you made him feel.

He felt proud when you laughed at his jokes and he felt happy when you baked cookies. He felt jealous when someone looked at you the wrong way and he felt sad when you cried. Most importantly, he felt love every time he saw you.

But today was going to be the most difficult day he was yet to live. Today was your brother’s death anniversary and you had trusted him enough to ask him to be with you when you visited your brother’s grave.

He couldn’t deny you that. But he couldn’t keep this secret any longer either. He was finally going to tell you. Even if you slapped him and walked away, he would take the pain you gave willingly.

Bucky patiently waited for you in his car. When you came out of your house and sat besides Bucky, your eyes were red rimmed and he was pretty sure you had cried the previous night.

He asked you if you were fine and only when you nodded did he start his car. The entire ride you both were silent. You were lost in the memories of your brother while he was debating when to tell you.

When you reached the graveyard, you walked towards your brother’s grave while Bucky stood at a distance. He knew you needed some alone time with him.

You placed the flowers you had brought near the gravestone and quietly leaned against it. You wanted to tell him so much, but at the same time you couldn’t quite speak a word.

Never in your life had you thought he’d leave you so soon. But fate was cruel and death always took the best people. You just hoped he was happy and at peace wherever he was.

Every year after his passing, you’d come here and tell him the highlights of your year. This time was no different; you him about your promotion, your new car and most importantly Bucky.

Bucky was nothing like you’d expected him to be. He was caring, resourceful and loyal. He was a gentleman through and through. You were sure your brother and Bucky would be friends if he were alive.

Once you were done, you walked towards Bucky with a smile. He on the other hand looked tense and worried. “I want to tell you something.”

You nodded him to go ahead. “I… I killed your brother.” There was no point sugar coating it. Now that it was out of his system, he felt much better; though he knew what was to come.

“What?” You couldn’t digest words that fell on your ear. “When I was the winter soldier.. I, uh… I murdered him.”

He saw how your face crumbled, how your nose scrunched up and how the tears rushed to your eyes. You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

You walked behind until your back hit a tree and sagged against it. “Go away. Please.” Your voice was hoarse from all the crying and there was an underlying pain in it.

Bucky wanted to hold you and tell you how much he loved you. But the he was cause of your misery, wasn’t he? He had been selfish; if he had told you on the first day itself you wouldn’t feel this heartbreak.

Holding your head in your palms, you tightly closed your eyes and refused to watch him walk away. And the only question you asked to god, again and again was, why?

~~~

The tv screen was playing some football match as Bucky sat on the floor of his house, loathing himself. There were discarded beer bottles and leftover chips just laying around on the floor.

He knew he was supposed to clean the house and go to work. But he didn’t feel like doing anything. No matter what he did, your thought never left his mind.

He missed it when the first time it happened, but the second time his ears perked up when he heard the bell go off. Someone was here to visit him. He was 99% sure it must be Sam.

Before answering, he checked his phone. He almost gasped when he noted it been two whole days since the incident and he hadn’t even realised. God lord, he needed to get it together.

When he opened the door, he saw the last person he expected to, you. You offered him a bright smile when you saw him and he returned it back. Everything didn’t seem so difficult anymore.

“Um, hey!” He didn’t know why your mood suddenly became awkward. He followed your eyes and looked down. He wanted to smack himself when he realised he was practically naked save for his boxers.

“Oops! Wait a minute!” Bucky replied as he sprinted back into his bedroom. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t seen him in his boxers, but right now it was purely awkward.

When he came back, he was wearing a Henley and sweatpants. “Hi!” He shyly ran his hands through his hair. “I thought it was… over.” Bucky felt heavy even while saying it out loud.

“Do you want it to be?” Your intentions of coming here were much different. “No. I…” Bucky couldn’t say anything further. “I want us to be together.”

Bucky stared at you as if he’d seen a ghost. Did you just say that or was he imagining it? “But I…” You sighed as you began speaking,

“Yeah I know. I thought a lot in these two days. What you did wasn’t up to you. I can’t blame you for what hydra did. It wasn’t at all your fault.

And Bucky I love you.” Without being able to stop for a moment, he engulfed you into a bear hug. “You… you forgive me?” He was the happiest he had ever been.

“Bucky, there is nothing to forgive. But if it makes you happy, then yes I forgive you.” Oh, how had Bucky yearned to listen to those words.

“I have to tell you two things too.” You pouted, what did he want to tell you now? “Second, I’m not your actual blind date. I came there to tell you about your brother but you considered me your date and I couldn’t stop you.”

Bucky was shocked to see you laughing. “I… I know!” Bucky stared at you with wide eyes. “That idiot called me a day later and told me his boss told him to work over time so he couldn’t come. And I knew it definitely wasn’t you who was supposed to be coming.”

Bucky chuckled as he pulled you closer. “And what’s the first thing?” You asked in a sultry tone. “The first thing is,… I love you.”

You pulled his face down and kissed him. “As much as I love you, I need you to take a bath Bucky. You stink!” Bucky winked back, “Anything for you doll.”

[arcadejohn127-9]

Ahhh I love your writing sm!! Could I request how the brothers would react to an MC that's super doting and overly loving from the get-go?. Always insists on helping w cooking duty, brings the brothers coffee if they look busy, etc? pls & ty!

Tbh I don't really have a love language over than verbal but this speaks to me

In game I make my MC very much like this, overly positive and always wanting to help. Not because I have to, I could easily pick more honest or teasing options but when it comes to it. My first instinct/Response is those options because I like the idea of being helpful to people

It's only when people start using that for their advantage or make me help them out even though I'm busy or just don't want to do it. That's when there's an issue.

Lucifer:

"oh~ Luci! You still working?"

You peered over at him at his desk, peaking from the space between the wall and the stair railing

He looked up at you with a tired expression, frowning

"I am, what do you need?"

you trotted down the rest of the steps, walking over to him with a bright smile

A tray in hand with coffee and biscuits and apple slices

"I made these for you, I know it isn't much but you're always working so hard... perhaps I can help?"

Lucifer wasn't too surprised, you were always offering your help whenever you could but it still surprised him you were so quick to offer

He didn't know how you had all that energy to face the day and then do more for others but he always enjoyed your company

"be my guest."

You grabbed a mini stool and sat beside him, you'd read over papers with him, massaging his hand whenever you noticed it cramped

He shared the snacks you got him and even revealed the mini snack draw he had in his desk

He put a finger to his lips with a smile

"don't tell my brother's, this will be just between you and me."

He showed you what he had and you picked whatever caught your fancy, happily eating as you looked over the papers

Mammon:

He wasn't use to Someone being nice to him so when you came along and offered acts of service - he was blown away!

Even over time he wasn't really use to it

Speaking of you and your acts or service; you were whistling a happy tune

A thick wallet in your pocket, you headed straight to mammons room

It was as if he could smell the money, he rushed to your side and started eyeing the wallet

"Stop peeking - it's a gift."

He looked at you confused but was grinning

"oh? The great Mammon can't refuse a gift!"

You placed the wallet in his hand, he let out a yelp at the weight of it

It was completely loaded!!! It was stuffed with money!

He couldn't believe it - it had to be a trick! There was no way you were giving him this much money!

"Are ya playing with me? Ha ha human."

"no tricks, you've been struggling with your debt to the witch's so I thought I'd help, I heard you've been getting in trouble with Lucifer more because of it so I wanted to help!"

He didn't even realize he teared up, he jumped towards you and hugged you close

Nuzzling your faces together as he hugged you tight

"You-! YOU DAMN HUMAN- NO YOU ANGEL! YOU'RE THE BEST THING THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME!"

You patted his arm, laughing and it wasn't long before he was planning to spend a big splurge on you despite his issues with money already

Levithan:

He was shuffling into his room, headphones on and just starting to calm down

Today was hectic so he was happy to finally be back home

"Evening! Don't worry, I still used the secret password."

"HUH-?! THAT'S NOT- WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?!"

He threw his headphones off, face bright red

He should of known you were up to something, you kept humming whenever you entered his room

Talking about cleaning up after himself but he kept forgetting due to getting distracted

"I noticed it's gotten really messy so I decided to clean it for you but before you say anything, I know you hate when it's cleaned because you don't know where anything so I've labelled where everything has been stored if it's changed places."

He was still upset, he REALLY hated it when things are changed without him knowing first

But he looked around the room and sure enough, things were still in the cupboards and places he stacked them in and the labels were correct

Everything was completely organized! All the piled up ramen was even gone!

He exhaled a long breathe calming himself down, he was happy - really really happy

"Thanks.... just - can we arrange something next time? But I do like what you did! It looks nice - it's much better now!"

"of course, I'll ask next time - also~ I got you some special ruri-chan themed chips in hopes to make you feel better."

He moves before he knows it, hugging you tight

"STAY WITH ME FOREVER!!!!"

He's definitely embarassed afterwards and gets you out of his room before he makes himself look more like a love sick fool

But don't worry, he texts you wanting to hang out later

Satan:

Satan has been locked in his room after having a big outburst earlier that day

He got overwhelmed from all the noises and threw a book at mammon

You waited awhile before going after him, wanting him to calm down and looked after mammons sore head

You grabbed the book he threw, making a nice calming tea and even made some Apple pie

When you knocked his door he freezed

"Who is it-?! Lucifer, I'm not in the mood for your scolding-"

"it's just me, I got you something!"

He opened the door for you, letting you inside

His room looked clean for once - you didn't doubt he continued his rage into his room and cleaned up to calm down

You offered him a smile, placing the tray on his bed

"I hope you like it, I made it myself."

He looked at the fresh apple pie, his stomach rumbling at the mere sight of it

"you did this...for me? Didn't I scare you?"

You hummed, sitting close to him

"yeah a little but everyone has their bad days, you having one doesn't change anything - though you do need to apologize to mammon."

He sat down by his bed, placing the tray on his lap

"you're right I do, thank you for not just seeing me as some angry creature....I didn't intend to blow up like that."

You patted his arm, still smiling

You two sat together, you read his book for him whilst he ate and drank

He was very bashful at how supportive you are but that was you, you've always been so quick to offer help or do things for people ever since you've arrived

You were good to him, he'll always appreciate that

Asmodeus:

His love language is affection and words

Yours is acts of service

It's perfect!

Though, when it was established you were quick to help and offer your service - prepare for MANY innuendos

He'll come skipping to you, draping himself off the nearest object and asking if you want to help him de-stress

Most of the time you just have spa days or lay around doing nothing

You decided to treat him today seeing as exams were stressing him out

"Asmo! Won't you help me? I have this lovely new-"

He's skidding as he appears in the doorway, ready to do whatever you want

But you just grinned, knowing your plan worked

You grabbed him and shoved him into a chair

Before he knew it; his hair was tied up and his jacket and scarf has disappeared

"oh? What's all this about? Does my love want some special care?"

"nope, I just want to look after you today~ you've been stressing over exams so much, I wanted to treat you like a prince."

He had the biggest grin on his face after that

And treated like a prince he was

You did his skin routine, brushed his hair and curled it

If he even mentioned being thirsty you were straight to getting him a nice refreshing drink

If you're able to - please carry him bridal style - he will love every second of it

"you treat me so well, I know I'm already a blessing to this demonic world but you're just pure light."

He's so love sick, an absolute fool in love

"nonsense, I'm just helping you like usual."

Which is true, you were always being helpful to him

Thats why he loved doing whatever he could for you

"Never leave the Devildom, I couldn't bare not seeing your beautiful face everyday."

You just laughed, massaging his face and gave him a quick kiss

Beezlebub:

Another person who does acts of service as a love language

Though, do forgive him if he forgets due to hunger - he'll immediately make it up to you

At this point he's become a subconscious challenge/game of service - always trying to one up each other

Currently, he was really anxious about his up coming game

It was the biggest one that R.A.D was having and was against a smaller school in the Devildom

The brothers all agreed to come watch him play and even made banners and levi brought glowsticks

You were no were to be seen

The weeks running up to the game you were always busy and whilst you still do some things for him here or there - you were mostly out of the house

But it was but a long lasting plan

You planned on supporting him the best way you could!

When he finally rolled onto the field he felt dread when he didn't spot you in the crowd

He couldn't stop frowning until he saw you, shaking pom poms and running with the cheersquad

That's right, you joined the cheer team to show your support for the lovely demon

"I WANT TO DEDICATE A CHEER TO OUR STAR PLAYER - BEEZLEBUB!!!"

He's so flustered and absolutely shining with joy under his helmet

As soon as he could he came running towards you and hugged you tight

"I was so worried I did something that made you drift away....you did this for me?"

"of course! I'm sorry I made you worried, I wanted to surprise you."

He had to take off his helmet after trying to nuzzle your face, you yelped when it bonked you

"This is the best thing anyone has done for me, thank you (Y/N)."

"you're welcome, now go win that game! Prove those losers that R.A.D is the best school around!"

It was no surprised that R.A.D won

The players all cheered and partied, inviting the band and cheerleaders to celebrate with them

But you decided to have a sleepover with Beelzebub, feeding him plenty of tasty foods as your own type of celebration

"Open wide."

You almost choked on the cake basically shoved in your mouth, laughing as frosting covered your nose and cheeks

You got your revenge but he happily licked what he could

This is the best celebration he could ever get

All because of you!

Belphegor:

Even if your love language wasn't acts or service, you definitely got in the habit of doing it with this guy

He was spoilt from always being carried and pampered by his twin

He could get away with sleeping anywhere as long as he got things done and good grades

But you were always the helpful human, giving him snacks or fluffing his pillows

He's joked about getting a bell so he could call you whenever he needed you

That never happened

"Belphie!! You awake? I got something for you."

He immediately popped his head up and waved to get your attention

You showed him the cup of hot mocha you've recently made; sweet and delicious and has an extra kick to help with keeping awake

"Smells delicious, you made this?"

"yep! Now drink up, we got plans today."

He happily drunk it, feeling more awake with every gulp

By the end of the Cup he was absolutely overjoyed from the taste

Though you almost groaned in frustration when he yawned, so happy that he got sleepy

"you have anymore~? I could drink loads of these- make me more, you know how to make them, I'm too sleepy - it's your fault I'm sleepy."

You flicked his head

Reminding him to not act like a brat

But you did make him more and throughout the day you'd give him a large cup

You needed to do studies and make sure belphegor kept his grades up - Lucifer's orders

But he was already a star pupil regardless so you weren't sure why you had to

But spending time with your favourite demon was never an issue, regardless of his attitude

"We need to do this more, I love it when you look after me."

"I know, now write your answer, I need proof you're working so I don't get strung up."

[critical-goat]

The Brothers Animal Forms

I know animal forms are something talked about a lot, but... I also wanted to chip in my two sense on the matter <3

Also thank you to the Discord server pals for inspiring this. All chosen for fun rather than realism.

 general head canons

while they can choose what animal they turn into, it takes extra energy to maintain a form that isn’t their familiar animal

they can’t exactly how that form appears, so their appearance for that form is consistent each transformation, but not necessarily the same compared to other forms

Lucifer

His default animal form is, unsurprisingly, a peacock. He’s been known to occasionally turn into a bat or a wolf if the need arises.

His feathers are solid black and shiny and his tail feathers sport blindingly white eye stalks (if you stick him in a dark room they glow!!)

If he has to go with you while shapeshifted, he WILL park himself right on your shoulder like a cantankerous shoulder ornament. His tail feathers are always draped over your shoulder, looking like a kick ass cape and if he tucks his head around your neck just right, he could be mistaken for a weird and clunky accessory. He does eventually get to be too much for your shoulders (bc these bastards weigh like 20 pounds, its ok at first but after awhile it gets HEAVY)

Even as a bird, he has a stare that would make all but the hardiest turn tail and run and given that peacocks are dicks and prone to violence, no one would think twice about getting close. (it goes double when they realize holy shit its the freaking Avatar of Pride)

You’re going to be hard pressed to convince him to turn into anything else. His wolf form closely resembles Cerberus but don’t mention it or accuse him of loving his dog, he’ll deny everything.

If you try to convince people Lucifer is your emotional support animal, he will bite you when no one is looking. Affectionately and in a very unsexy manner.

Mammon

Default is a magpie, shiny black with a big white patch upon his chest. Sees no reason to turn into anything else. (I can see him taking a liking to ferrets just to hang off your shoulder like a floppy noodle)

Mammon refuses to NOT go with you, so he’ll sneak his little birdy butt into your bags when you go somewhere and hide out until you get somewhere he can (spy on) guard you from afar.

He’s found its a lot easier to snitch anything that catches his eye when he’s a bird, but he also doesn’t.... really have a way to distinguish bird instinct saying “oh, shiny. must keep” and “oh that’s something actually valuable” and at the end of the day he has more stuff that bird brain thought was valuable than things that are actually valuable.

Might explain why he tends to get away his thievery.

Leviathan

Itty bitty little snake!! Only alternative is Very Big snake. Bigger than a house. Could probably bite a ship in half (are we sure that’s a snake and not his true form??)

Narrow face and dark sleek scale. Longer than he is thick (wait are we still talking about snakes or- *bonk*)

Wraps himself around your neck like a scarf, and as much as he wants to hide away from prying eyes, could NEVER work up the courage to hide himself in your clothes, especially wrapping around your torso. What, are you trying to give him a heart attack or something!?

Please bring a sufficiently large enough bag for him to hide in, he can’t take all the stares.

Has the most boopable snoot. Do it. He’ll be upset if you do it in front of anyone.

Satan

Despite the current reputation of the unicorn in pop culture, there’s a reason they’re Satan’s familiars. The real ones are spiteful creatures and prone to fits of mischief.

But unicorns aren’t exactly..... inconspicuous or allowed into enclosed spaces. So he does have alternatives he often turns to instead. Go ahead and guess what he turns into...... If you guessed a cat, you are correct.

As a unicorn he’s a pale sandy color, with slender legs, hoof ‘feathering’, the traditional tufted tail, and a branching, jagged horn.

Cat Satan is rather petite, and ginger in color and the type of cat that will knock over a full glass of water for your attention. PET HIM DAMMIT. (Also has a boopable snoot, more receptive than Levi)

If you must bring him along as a cat, he will insist on trying to balance on your shoulder. Eventually gives up and settles for letting you cradle him oh so gently as you walk.

... It’s not that bad. Oh wait, is that Lucifer staring him down? Suddenly its become the best and only way to accompany you places. take that you cantankerous bastar-

Asmodeus

Scorpion bab. As much as he finds beauty in his insect familiar, they’re not for travel. Can usually be found as rabbit instead. (insert horny joke here) The prettiest little bun you’ll ever see. Has also been known to turn into a sparrow and a stag.

Tiny bun, can fit in your hands for optimal ease of carrying. Champagne colors, with cute lil droopy ears and a dark nose.

He insists you carry him with you one of two ways. On your shoulder and continuing to pet and cradle him or in a fashionable bag. No compromising on it either.

Adores the attention he gets from strangers. He is rather adorable, isn’t he? <3

Wait, Asmo stop charming people into giving you more pats you fiend.

Good luck getting untangled from all the crowding people.

Beelzebub

A fly. Has been known to turn into other bugs (mostly beetles) and not much else.

As a beetle, he’s a very bright and vibrant red color.

He’s followed you around as a fly before and it was ok for a bit.... but you keep mistaking him for a regular fly and swatting him, much to your horror. Its ok, he knows you wouldn’t have if you remembered (somehow that makes you feel worse than if he’d been upset)

Eventully he opted for the beetle instead (its not any less confusing some times but the number of swats goes down significantly)

You don’t know why, but for some reason you were possessed to bedazzle beetle Beel exactly once. He came out so very pretty. You even managed to tie a ribbon on one of his atennae. Very pretty indeed. You still have pictures of the incident.

Beel was a very good sport about it.

Belphegor

Cow man. He refuses to turn into anything else. Too much effort. Once he turns into a cow, you’ll have a cow on your hands for quite some time, finding that he doesn’t care enough to turn back just yet.

Fuzzy cow, very long fur, droopy ears, and big soulful eyes. Wicked dangerous horn, though. He’s tried to trample Lucifer a large handful of times, Diavolo at least twice, and tried to gore Satan once. (Satan won that battle and he decided never again)

You’re not getting him to go anywhere. Even if he could be convinced to physically moce somewhere, its not like anyone is gonna let a whole cow in.

And so, for a great many reasons, cow Belphie happens very rarely

He makes for a wonderful pillow though.

[krizaland]

Yandere Zim X Male Reader? There isn't many out there, and I sort of had a song in mind if you would like to listen: Rory by Foxing.

You got it, friend!

Be warned: There are themes of unrequited love, wasps and a graphic depiction of wasp stings ahead!

Here's the song that was used btw

From the moment he met you, Zim found himself captivated by you.

From your gentle eyes to your kind soul, Zim found you utterly fascinating.

You were nothing like any of the other humans! You weren’t ugly, and you didn’t even stink!

You may have been friends with Dib but that didn’t stop you from sticking up for him whenever Dib tried to expose him!

At first, Zim decided to use you as a good source of information as well as a way to keep up appearances without drawing too much attention to himself.

However, the more time he spent with you, Zim started to feel…strange to say the least.

His PAK would spark around you and his squeedilyspooch felt like it was tied up in knots!

“Computer! What are these HORRIBLE feelings inside of me?! What has that Y/N-human done to Zim?!” Zim demanded as he pointed to the ceiling.

“WELL….UM…”

“C’mon spit it out already!”

“WELL IT SEEMS THAT YOU HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE…”

Zim’s jaw hit the ground.

“WHAT?! ME?! IN LOVE?! WITH A HUMAN?! IMPOSSIBLE! Preform a full body bioscan!”

Zim’s computer sighed as a few mechanical tentacles wrapped around Zim.

“SCANNING…SCANNING….”

After a few minutes, the tentacles retracted,

“BIOSCAN COMPLETE. NO ILLNESSES DETECTED.”

“N-No! No! This can’t be! No invader can even experience love! Especially not for the enemy! What am I going to do?! ARGH! Computer! Create an antidote for my love illness!” Zim commanded as he tugged on his antennas.

“UM THERE REALLY ISN’T A CURE…”

“LIES!! Surely there has to be some way to get rid of these HORRIBLE FEELINGS!” Zim wailed dramatically.

“WELL…THERE IS ONE WAY TO GET RID OF THEM..”

“What are you waiting for! Tell me! Tell me the solution!!” Zim demanded as his voice quivered a bit.

“THE ONLY WAY YO GET RID OF YOUR FEELINGS IS TO ASK Y/N OUT..” The computer lied

“WHAT?! YOU WANT ZIM TO DATE THE ENEMY?! ARE YOU INSANE?!”

“Nyeh!”

Zim’s tirade was interrupted by Minimoose.

“Stay out of this, Minimoose! This doesn’t concern you!”

“Nyeh!”

“Aww! It’s sweet that you care about your master but don’t worry, Zim will be fine!”

“Nyeh!”

“Eh?! Ask Y/N out on a date to keep up appearances?! Never! didn’t I already make it clear that was a bad idea?! There’s no way I’d possibly show that kind of weakness to the enemy. But what if…”

Zim hummed for a moment as he stroked his chin.

“I’ve got it! I’ll ask Y/N out on a date to keep up appearances! Yes…I’ll simply use these feelings as a way to appear more normal so I can continue my mission!”

Minimoose was a bit annoyed but happily encouraged his master

“Nyeh!”

“I think you’re cool too, Minimoose! Now then, how to woo Y/N…Maybe one of those love note thingys.” Zim muttered to himself as he begin typing away at his keyboard.

After a few minutes of typing, Zim cracked a wicked smile.

“Excellent! With this loove note there’s no way Y/N could possibly resist my proposal!”

Zim burst into maniacal laughter as he printed the note.

“Now all thats left to do is deliver it!”

“OOOH!! OHHH!!! CAN I BRING THE NOTE TO RACECAR?!!” GIR squealed as he reached for the note.

“No GIR! I’m not going to risk this note getting damaged because of you!” Zim snapped as he snatched away the note.

GIR did like that answer.

He let out a loud shriek and threw himself to the ground.

He begun to kick and cry as loud as his voice chip would let him.

“ENOUGH! You may deliver the note to Y/N!” Zim grumbled as he held out the note.

“YAY!!!!!!!”

And with that, GIR grabbed the note with his mouth and flew off with it.

“Ugh, I better make sure GIR doesn’t ruin all of my hard work.” Zim huffed as he threw on his disguise and followed after GIR.

It wasn’t long before GIR managed to find you.

You were sitting on a bench in the park next to Dib, who seemed nervous about something.

“Dib? Are you ok? You’re acting kinda…twitchy”

“Twitchy? I’m not twitchy! Heh! It’s just um…the air! Yeah the air is really cold today!” Dib lied as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Dib it’s almost June. It’s like 88 degrees out here. What’s really going on?” You pressed as you gave Dib a sympathetic look.

Dib looked down at his feet and took in a deep breath.

“Ok, I’ll tell you but you have to promise you won’t be grossed out by me.”

“Dib, you’re my best friend! Not even hunting the most disgusting cryptid can make me grossed out by you!” You reassured with a chuckle.

Dib took in another deep breath as he turned to face you

“Y/N, I know we’ve been friends for like a really long time now and….well….”

“Well what?”

Dib swallowed thickly as he tugged at his shirt collar

“I think I might want to be more than friends!”

Dib’s words flew out a mile a minute before he clamped a hand over his mouth.

“Wait?! Are you serious?!” Your eyes lit up a bit.

“Gah! I knew this was a bad idea! Just forget I said anything!” Dib whimpered as he buried his face in his hands.

“No no! I’m actually really happy you told me that, Dib! Because…I want to be more than friends too!” You reassured as you put a hand on his shoulder.

Dib looked up at you and blinked in shock.

“Wait? Really?”

“Yes really! I’ve actually been wanting to ask you out for a while but I wasn’t sure if you felt the same.” You admitted sheepishly as you rubbed the back of your head.

“What?! You had feelings for me this whole time?! And you didn’t even- You know what? Who cares? All that matters is that we both feel the same about each other! Right?” Dib still seemed a bit skeptical.

“Exactly! That’s the spirit!” You cheered as you threw your arms in the air, smacking poor GIR out of the sky.

THUMP!

SPLOOSH!

GIR fell face first into a puddle, soaking Zim’s love note.

However it wouldn’t have mattered whether or not the love note was in tact. For Zim had witness the entire exchange between you and Dib and was devastated.

He let out a pained chuckle as he grabbed the soggy note from GIR’s mouth.

Zim was about to confront Dib when-

BONK!

THUMP!

Zim had walked right into s tree, causing a wasp nest to fall right on his head.

Zim let out a blood curdling scream as the wasps begun to attack him from all directions!

Soon he began to run amok, with more wasps trailing behind him!

It wasn’t long before Zim managed to make it back to his base.

Two robotic arms came down from the ceiling,

POP!

They pulled the wasp nest off of Zim’s head and chucked it out into the front yard.

Zim let out a pained groan as his grotesquely swollen face throbbed with wasp venom and glowing green pus.

The robotic arms carefully peeled off Zim’s disguise and another arm carried him down to his lab.

After a refreshing chemical shower, Zim’s face had returned to normal!

However, while his face had healed, his feelings were still in shambles.

He picked up the note and went back up to the kitchen.

Zim sunk to his knees as he shakily held the soggy note in his hands.

“I wrote you a letter, asked my robot to send it but it took to the sea before you could’ve read it…”

Zim’s grip tightened on the note as a few tears trickled down his cheeks.

“Retreated to snow capped waters of the unknown. Extracted my soul straight from my body! but glowing and red…And I swear that sweat would envelop your arms if you broke down and held it!”

“I swear I’m a good man-“ -Zim took in a heavy breath- “-I swear I’m a good man…”

Zim sniffled a bit,

“So why don’t you love me back?”

He looked down at the note in his hands.

“So why don’t you love me back?”

Zim let out a deep growl as he chucked the soggy note into the window.

“Instead of twisting up words you just say there in silence! In wind burnt homes sighing rays from a sunset!”

Zim rose to his feet and stormed towards the window.

As he peeled the soggy note off the window, he couldn’t help but notice that the wasp nest was still in the front yard.

“And all I could hear was the sound of the wasp nest, my head made a home for the hum of the insects!”

Zim took another glance down at the soggy note he had peeled off the window.

“But my hands shake and shudder at the mention of half written reasons we’ll only be friends!”

Zim’s fist curled around the note and punched the window.

“I swear I’m a good man…. I swear I’m a good man…”

Zim squeezed his eyes shut and let out a sob

“So why don’t you love me back?”

His hand slid down the window.

“So why don’t you love me back?!”

Zim threw the soggy note to the ground and stomped on it

“So why don’t you love me back?!”

He threw his head to the ceiling and shrieked

“So why don’t you love me back?!”

He clutched the sides of his head and wailed his plea once again,

“So why don’t you love me back?!”

Zim melted back down to his knees.

“So why don’t you love me back….”

A louder sob racked his body as Zim felt his world crash down around him.

How humiliating.

He was Irk’s finest invader! How could he be so wounded by one pitiful human?!

No, pitiful wasn’t the right word to describe you. In truth, Zim felt that handsome was a better fit.

Despite how devastated he was, Zim still couldn’t stop wanting you.

The need for your love sparked a fire deep within him.

The fire burned violently throughout Zim’s body! Pulling him out of his depression and making him more confident than ever!

Zim wanted you for some much more than appearances!

He wanted you to be his and his alone!

By taking you away from him, Dib had just made the biggest mistake of his life.

Zim let out a thunderous maniacal laugh as he raised his hands to the ceiling!

He put his disguise back on, grabbed a blaster, and hopped into his Voot.

“Prepare yourself, foolish Dib-monkey! I am coming to reclaim what’s rightfully mine! You shall rue the day you took Y/N away from Zim!”

[shorkbrian]

QUESTION!! Do you think kirishima, and bakugou (separate pwease) love there darling for there personality or are just doing it for there body? I feel like kirishima would love them lowkey for personality only but gets worked up and excited when he sees there body bc he knows only he gets his love like that. Bakugou? I’m iffy with him on that. Thank u wuv!

 Well, they both have similar idk... ideals? hmmm but lowkey hmmm idk how else to describe so

Bakugou would first notice his darling because of their personality. They might be rough and ready-to-rumble, always willing to fight and not hesitating to throw the first punch. Maybe they’re loud and brash and snappy, just like him. Whatever he dishes out, they can take it, throw it right back in his face. It’d probably shock him the first time, make him do a double take. From then on his attention would be constantly drawn to them, always trying to rile them up or doing aggressive shit that they would call him out for - during training he likes to grapple and wrestle, he knows they can take it.

But maybe.... his darling is shy? sweet, gentle. Like Midoriya, but something is different. He’d probably be marching over, on his way to bully Midoriya when he spots them - so nervous and gentle and kind and pretty. He’ll feel that sadistic urge bubble up inside him; he wants to see them cowering from him, covered in tears and snot and doing whatever he tells them to do. Bakugou would never admit that the softer, calmer side of himself grew to care for them, wanted to hold and cuddle and provide.

I don’t think Bakugou would be someone who gets easily distracted by physical features - sure, a lot of people have nice bodies, but Bakugou doesn’t care. He only starts to notice the appeal of the human body after meeting his darling.

It won’t matter what they look like. But since Katsuki is such a big health nut he will constantly be judging and checking and snooping to how his darling is taking care of themselves. Not eating enough? They’ll get bonked in the back of the head with a granola bar. Stress eating? Bakugou will come throw whatever his darling is eating into the trash, ripping it out of their hands and grumbling about how bad chips are. (God he would be sooooo annoying I would just wanna wring his little neck)

Pray that he never squirrels you away, keeping you on a strict, healthy diet (not too little, but not too much either) He’d be super into forcing you to workout with him, for the sake of good health. Truthfully he just wants to see you in tight workout gear.

He might even try to rip it off later.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kirishima would notice his darling first and foremost because of their cute little body. He sees them walk into class and immediately gets smitten, asking his classmates who the new kid is and what their name is and if anyone knew them could Kiri please get their number? Kaminari and Sero’s horny chatter about “fuckable celebrities” makes the redhead very in-tune with what he finds attractive. And honestly? He loves it all. Tall, short, thin, round? Yes to everything.

BUT when he saunters over at lunch and slides his tray next to theirs, he finds out how charming they are, and he is absolutely enthralled. Kiri could sit and listen to them talk for hours on end - he thinks that they would probably be able to make algebra seem pleasant just by talking about it. The dude wants to just sit and bask in their presence for as long as he can, likes the subtle whiffs of their scent, finds the flash of their teeth as they smile to be so adorable!

He notices that his darling doesn’t seem to be super aware of the effect their body has on everyone, specifically him. They’ll lean across their desk as they chat with a friend, school uniform stretching perfectly over their butt. Maybe they have a tendency to always be falling asleep, unaware of the eyes oogling their form. Kiri always is blessed enough to catch them stretching, legs spread wide or twisted in some complicated position. It drives him absolutely wild with desire.

To put it simply, Kiri is head-over-heels with every single aspect of their being. He doesn’t deny his massive crush (obsession), and it’s almost common knowledge that if he could, Kirishima would absolutely fuck the shit out of his darling. He gets teased more about the fact that he would be an absolute pushover for them afterwards. The redhead would carry them afterwards, kiss their forehead, make them hot soothing drinks and cuddle them to death as they talked about everything and nothing.

If only his darling wasn’t so oblivious, maybe his dream could become a reality. 

Oh well, it’s not like there weren’t other ways for him to get what he wants.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In short, there are sooooo many ways to write them. I think a villain Bakugou would actually be really mean and into degrading and humiliating his darling about their body, shaming them for things he actually is quite fond of.

Villain Kiri would get absolutely enamored by his darling, but for some reason they dress in the ugliest, most horrible clothing ever? And they’re always bundled up and they look so lumpy and weird but ah, he doesn’t care. They were nice to him that one time (genuinely nice) and so he’s kidnapping them. When Villain Kiri gets them home an d cuts those ugly clothes to pieces, he finds himself the most delicious treat underneath. Proceeds to punish his darling for trying to hide themselves away like that, but also can’t help but go easy and be soft because he’s the only one who’s ever seen them without all those layers.

AHHHHH see there are just so!! many!! possibilities!!

I am stopping myself now, fingers? no typey.

thenk

[eijispumpkin]

crossposting some big bro griff and lil baby ash hcs from my cc account!! 

baby ash will NOT eat a sandwich if it has crusts on it. griff very meticulously cuts them off for him every time. 

ash, a known cat, lays on the floor and wails and whines and, to griffin's endless amusement, recites king lear's death verse (i.e. a tiny shakespearean monologue from this fuckign six year old) if griff takes too long to cut the crusts off of his sandwiches for lunch. 

ash is trying to be dramatic and forlorn and miserable about his hunger and every time griff laughs at him for reciting shakespeare at him, he gets angry. griffin can't take it seriously. 

ash sits on the floor to do his homework. theres a perfectly functional table right there. griffin has tripped over him at least 50 times. 

griff is in jrotc in high school and has an afterschool job. sometimes when he's really tired at the end of the day, ash gives him his very best attempt at a massage. it isn't super effective or helpful but it IS very cute and griff finds it very endearing. 

ash is EXTREMELY entertained by trying to wear griff's shirts as "dresses". griff, doing laundry AGAIN, is less so. 

griff promises ash that when he comes back from iraq and he and ash move into their own place that jim doesn't pay for, they'll get a cat. 

baby ash likes to roast griff's poetry. 

griff: Why Must You Hurt Me In This Way 

they take walks on the beach together!! griff likes to whittle driftwood into little toys for ash. he's not super good at it but despite laughing at how funny they look, ash is FIERCELY protective of them. 

both of them......cats. nap in sunny patches. sit in weird positions. bonk.

when ash has nightmares as a kid, he sleeps in griff's bed. (he went to jim once; jim told him to just go to griff and let him sleep. griff was Very Salty when ash relayed this, and is Very Protective of ash about it.) 

even before anything highly traumatic happens to ash, griff resents jim for treating him like the golden child and ash like a disappointment. he argues with him (when ash can't hear) about how ash needs a good dad, how jim is the only adult around for him, and how much little aslan admires and loves him. jim tries, sometimes, but it's never enough. griff is Angry Cat.

ash doesn't know why griff is always mad at their dad, but it makes him sad, so he does his best to be a good kid and smooth it over. it kind of breaks griff's heart. 

griff's favorite cookies are snickerdoodles. ash's favorite cookies are white chocolate chip red velvet cheesecake cookies. 

griffin just wants to know why his six year old brother is so fucking extra. 

griff goes to every single little league game for ash until he gets deployed. 

they do the sibling thing of communicating in solely weird noises sometimes, except they're usually weird distorted attempts at "meow", because when he was four ash had a phase of insisting he was actually a cat, and that never fully went away.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #7-9

November, 1984

BERSERKER!

The death of an Avenger! The X-Men’s greatest battle! And, introducing the all-new SPIDER-WOMAN!

The cover sure isn’t burying the lede. This comic sure does introduce an All-New (presumably All-Different) Spider-Woman! Jessica Drew, move over! For now. You’ll be the Spider-Woman that endures in the long run.

Last times on Secret Wars: Some amazingly powerful being from Beyond the universe called the Beyonder kidnaps a bunch of heroes, villains, shades thereof, and chunks of random planets to put on a big toy commercial where action figures can bonk off each other.

The X-Men ditched the other heroes to do their own thing, as they’re wont to do. The villains storm the hero base and drop a mountain on them. The heroes take refuge at a small village where Johnny Storm finds a new girlfriend but there’s also a Galactus.

Galactus starts preparing a device to eat Battleworld, which would let him win the toy commercial in one fell swoop.

Oh, and Wasp was kidnapped by Magneto, escaped, crashed her escape ship, found the Lizard, and then got lasered to death by the Wrecking Crew. It was a Bad Time and I am sad, even though we know Wasp will be okay by the time they get back from Battleworld.

This time: Further not burying the lede.

The cover promised a new Spider-Woman and dammit, here’s one right away, first page. Truth in advertising!

Spider-Woman herself wastes no time introducing herself to everyone, that she comes from a chunk of Denver that got raptured by the Beyonder (still want that miniseries), that she came to help when she saw evidence of super fighting, and that she can pick up and throw large rocks so clearly she’d be able to help.

Captain America is hesitant about all this and Spider-Woman assumes that he thinks she’s a spy but as Captain America points out, why would Doom need to mess around with spies when he’s got so much power at his disposal.

Spider-Man is also hesitant at this new character. For different reasons.

Spider-Man: “She tossed that boulder as easily as I could have... at least! I wonder if she sticks to walls, too! And I wonder if I can sue her for infringing on my shticks! I should have gotten a patent or trademark or something...”

Cap tries to settle on the argument that a Secret War is too dangerous but Spider-Woman has the exceptional point “I suspect that it’s no less dangerous for the spectators, Captain America -- I might as well pitch in!”

And then the obvious toy pitch vehicle that the Wrecking Crew was driving in the swamp yesterday drives through the village blowing shit up, restarting the fires that the heroes just put out, and most insultingly of all, throwing Wasp van Dyne’s dead deceased corpse out the hatch before driving off.

Those dicks.

The heroes rush to Wasp and take her to Zsaji. That cool lady tries to heal Wasp but Jan has no pulse and isn’t breathing and might be beyond Cura. This may take Phoenix Down.

But since she went and got herself disintegrated on the Moon, Wasp is clearly dead forever.

-Looks over at Avengers #243- Hush, you!

The assembled heroes want to rush Doombase and kick the shit out of the villains and specifically the Wrecking Crew but Captain America tells them no.

Captain America: “Now, listen to me -- ! While we’re off getting even, what if Galactus starts to use that world-eating machine he’s building up on that mountain? Then every living thing on this world -- including these innocent villagers and all those people from that suburb of Denver will die! We’ve got to stay right here, ready to attack him! We may have only seconds to react when it begins!”

She-Hulk storms off while the other heroes debate the Galactus situation.

I’m sure this is fine.

Meanwhile, on the more volcano-y side of the planet, Xavier orders Cyclops, Rogue, and Wolverine to pursue Doom’s Four villains Molecule Man, Titania, Absorbing Man, and Doctor Octopus to try to capture them before they can return to Doom.

Back over at Doombase, Titania sees that her “little Owie” has been badly hurt and begs Enchantress to help.

Volcana: “Enchantress! You’re a sorceress! You could use your magic to transport me to my Owen!”

Enchantress -busy getting drunk-: “Yes... but why would I, mortal?”

Volcana: “Well... because... because I need you to! I can’t fly a ship! I -- I don’t even have a driver’s license for a car! Ultron won’t help me -- ! He only takes orders from Doom!”

Enchantress: “It takes much energy to transport a body as bloated as yours! I cannot be bothered!”

Wow! You’re a dick!

Volcana catches a lot of fat jokes and she’s not depicted as looking any different from Standard Comic Book Body Type. But also, don’t fatshame at all, Enchantress.

Anyway, Volcana promises anything to Enchantress if she helps.

Enchantress: “Rash words, mortal wench... and later, you shall deeply regret them!”

Its very handy for the villains that Volcana just showed up because their airship almost immediately gets show down by the X-Men. So even with Molecule Man out of commission, their numbers are back to Doom’s Four. And Volcana calls dibs on beating up Wolverine.

The X-Men have numbers but they’re not doing super well. Professor X is on the scene trying to be the field leader but the chaos of the battle and the villains’ minds being blocked by Enchantress’ magic makes it hard for him to coordinate.

Magneto even gets smack-talked by Absorbing Man.

Absorbing Man: “Tell me, Magneto. What’s scum like you doin’ hangin’ around with the X-Men? Sure, they’re outlaws -- but I thought you was big time! You got mass murder raps, manslaughter, terrorism, what else? Probably everything! You’re one of us! On second thought, a creampuff like you belongs with them losers!”

I can’t believe Magneto has to take that from a man who constantly carries a large metal orb with him everywhere.

Wolverine manages to slice off Absorbing Man’s arm, although the guy was made of rock at the time so it wasn’t as gory as it could have been.

Absorbing Man just. Picks up his arm and runs off to hit someone with it.

Amazing.

The villains manage to pin down the heroes with some Volcana blast and then steal one of the X-Men’s ships and get away.

Professor X declares that this is Totally a victory.

Xavier: “We lost nothing, save one of our ships -- which matters little -- and we gained much! We coalesced as a fighting unit passing our greatest test to date and I think we proved ourselves -- beyond a doubt!”

Like, you had a scuffle with some villains that ended inconclusively even though you had the advantage of a sneak attack, the villains stole one of your ships, and there was no major damage to either side.

It was largely pointless. But I guess Xavier has a vested interest in declaring it a huge success since it was his inaugural go at being field commander.

Meanwhile, skulking around Galactus’ ship, DOOM complains about doing that.

Doom: “Doctor Doom - a burglar! Rummaging about in another being’s home, seeking to steal some priceless thing! Bah! What choice do I have? I need a key, a way -- ! My armor’s sensors have led me to prize after prize -- hundreds, thousands of devices which, in the hands of a man as brilliant as myself could provide power to conquer entire galaxies -- ! Yet, all of them combined are not enough to defeat Galactus -- let alone the Beyonder! There must be a way! Doom must be supreme!”

Unfortunately for Doom, despite the volcano distraction making Galactus sigh and have to spend time fixing the planet so he can eat it, he senses something amiss in his house and mentally yeets Doom back to Battleworld.

The villains return back to Doombase but Doctor Octopus can’t help Molecule Man because dammit he’s a nuclear physicist, not a medical doctor! Ultron tells Volcana that there are medical devices that could fix Molecule Man up nicely but since he doesn’t have any relevant orders from Doom, he’s just going to stand here and look pretty. And Enchantress says she could heal him with a wave of her hand but refuses to because Volcana already gave her a blank check.

Absorbing Man returns and reattaches his arm by basically hoping like hell it’ll just be better if he holds it in place when he reverts to skin flesh.

And the Wrecking Crew have to throw the Lizard into a cell because he hasn’t stopped trying to eat their faces for killing Wasp, his new best friend.

The Wrecking Crew doesn’t get a chance to enjoy being back at base because She-Hulk has broken in and beats the crap out of them off-screen.

Titania comes in and starts fighting She-Hulk STARTING AN ENDURING RIVALRY.

Its fun how much got its start in Secret Wars.

The two fight more or less evenly from what I can tell but uh Doctor Octopus joins in as does the Absorbing Man and the Wrecking Crew once they catch their breath.

And She-Hulk is strong but this is a stomp.

In another part of Doombase where the Enchantress is sitting in “sullen reverie” refusing to get involved in the fight she can here, instead thinking about how much she’s going to seduce the crap out of Thor.

Doom arrives at Himbase after being expelled from Galactus’ ship and refuses to explain anything to Enchantress. He just stumbles over to his sweet bed and collapses in it.

Doom: “It is over... Finished...”

Back over at Zsaji’s Village, the heroes realize that She-Hulk took off. Hawkeye figures that she went after the villains and asks to go after her.

Hawkeye: “She can’t take ‘em alone, Cap! She needs us!”

Huh! When the chips are down even though they fought, Clint and Jen sure are coworkers.

Hulk also asks to go after her since she’s his cousin. The acknowledgement of which is what I’ve been wanting all along.

But Cap tells them no.

Hulk: “I don’t suppose you’d consider putting it to a vote?”

Trying to appeal to his love of democracy. How wily.

Captain America: “My heart would vote ‘yes’ in a minute... Too many innocent lives are at stake here, though! Many more than the few people on this planet -- we’ve got a universe depending on what we do here! We can’t allow ourselves the luxury of making decisions with our hearts!”

But Cap receives a psychic skype from Professor X who tells him that the X-Men can take Galactus watching duty for a bit so run along and save your teammate, you scamp.

Cap accepts.

Its fun how the tide of battle has shifted back and forth.

Now the heroes are largely fresh, having been sitting on their ass staring at Galactus, and the villains are bloodied from several fights with the X-Men and She-Hulk. Plus, their big gun Molecule Man got Wolverine’d.

But next issue is something so big that it overshadows basically everything else in Secret Wars.

December, 1984

INVASION!

YEAH ITS VENOM

OR WILL BE

Also, a bunch of other stuff happens. The cover is kind of funny for maybe unintentionally presaging what would happen where the black costume being more remembered than everything else in Secret Wars in general but definitely this issue specifically.

There’s actually a lot of really cool stuff happening in this issue.

Cap(tain America)’s group of heroes storms Doom’s Doombase, lucking out that Doom is too stunned by being expelled from Galactus’ ship to attempt any kind of defense and nobody else on his team has the braincells to be watching out for an attack.

Enchantress hears the heroes breaking in but she’s well and truly drunk by this point.

And bemoans her secret god meeting with Thor. That she was going to try to cast a spell on him to bend him to her will but is aware that she might have flipped good for him instead. And even now wonders what she’ll do if Thor shows up in front of her.

The villains still beating She-Hulk to her death hear the heroes breaking into the base and run off to ambush them, Doc Ock slamming She-Hulk against some wreckage as a coup de grace.

Wrecker gets the jump on Iron Man and Doc Ock dumps a convenient tank of water on Human Torch but Spider-Man jumps in and drops Bulldozer with one punch before he can pulp an extinguished Johnny.

The Thing tries fighting Absorbing Man but wouldn’t you know it, the Thing’s thingness fades at the worst time again, leaving him powerless.

Spider-Woman jumps in to save him.

She didn’t get to really do much in her actual introductory issue, despite being on the cover and splash. She just kinda shows up and goes ‘i can definitely help!’

She makes a much better second impression this time. Almost like she’s aware that she needs to sell herself.

Spider-Woman: “A clean knockout -- ! Of the awesome Absorbing Man -- ! And it’s only the fifth time I’ve ever been in a fight! The new Spider-Woman wins again!”

Marvel really wants you to like this non-Jessica Drew.

Piledriver charges Hawkeye, mocking him for missing with his arrows and gloating that arrows are useless to a guy who’s immune to bullets.

Piledriver: “Hawkeye the Archer! Hah! Boy you gonna need Hawkeye the M.A.S.H. doctor in a minute -- ‘cause I reckon this good ol’ boy is gonna ‘mash’ you!”

Good one, Piledriver. Good banter.

Hawkeye: “Those shots were just warnings, dummy! I don’t want to have to hit you! From my bow, at this range, an arrow hits a lot harder than any bullet! Back off... please...”

We did learn in the Hawkeye mini that Hawkeye’s bow has a ridiculous draw strength.

This is a pretty good Hawkeye moment people don’t really point to a lot.

Also, I do love when an invincible or durable person who isn’t used to getting hurt gets hurt once and goes ‘NOPE! I DO NOT CARE FOR THIS!’

Hulk busts into Enchantress’ drinking room and unfortunately falls for her “I am but a helpless female!” routine. She gets all up in his business, magically puts him to sleep, and then pours herself another drink.

It could have been a good day for Enchantress if Captain America hadn’t come in right after.

Captain America: “What have you done to the Hulk?”

Enchantress: “For the moment, he is merely asleep. Doubtless dreaming dreams of me! But, alas, he can never truly have me, for I am yours, my handsome captain! Am I not beautiful? Come to me...”

Points for audacity but Captain America is a champion of not thinking with his dick. Blah blah willpower is legendary, socked Prometheus in the noggin. You get it.

Anyway, he socks Enchantress in the noggin with his shield and knocks her out.

Hawkeye and unthinged Ben try to find the rest of the heroes but run into Klaw and Lizard, who Klaw let out of his cell because he didn’t like to see anyone imprisoned but also because he liked the way Lizard talks. What an audiophile.

Ben Grimm: “Uh... any ideas, Hawk?”

Hawkeye: “Well... I guess we’ll have to outwit ‘em!”

Ben Grimm: “Us?!”

Hah.

Thor, Iron Man, Spider-Woman, and Mr Fantastic find Volcana and Molecule Man.

Iron Man makes the dubious tactical decision to charge right into Volcana’s plasma burst and burns out his armor.

Mr Fantastic pulls him out of the way and the other heroes try to get through Molecule Man’s fused air molecules invisible shield. They fail until Captain Marvel just lightbeams right through it. Because its transparent.

Love it. Love that her power works like that. Because it should.

Captain Marvel grabbing Molecule Man pulls open his Wolverine wounds and he passes out. Volcana surrenders to spare her boyfriend more pain.

Not that Monica intended that or knew he was wounded. This is still early Monica before Nextwave hardened her outlook. This is the Monica who was horrified when Blackout and Moonstone got pulled through a singularity.

Titania tried to drop a forty-ton beam on the heroes’ heads but is interrupted by Spider-Man thanks to his spectacular spider-sense.

She out-muscles him by a lot but she can’t actually lay a hit on him because he’s got superior spider agility. Maybe if she had more experience it’d be different but she’s basically in the angry flailing stage of her skill tree so far.

Spidey brags “With a little room to operate, no one can lay a glove on me -- not the X-Men, not the Absorbing Man, and not you!”

Titania: “When I get you I’ll -- AGGH!”

Spider-Man: “All you’re going to get is frustrated... and, eventually, trashed!”

Titania: “No! It’s not fair! *UHH!*”

Spider-Man: “But, if we were fighting in a broom closet, that’d be fair, right?”

Titania: “Stop it! Stop it! Stop -- !”

Spider-Man: “You ought to be happy, cuddles! You aspired to be a bully, and, man, you’re a classic! You talk tough and nasty when you’ve got the upper hand -- but when you’re losing -- well, that’s when the whining little wimp-ette inside comes spilling out!”

And then he defenestrates her without a window.

Fun fact: she apparently developed a Spider-Man phobia from this.

Understandably.

Y’know, in terms of embarrassing and traumatizing people, Spider-Man is having a good run in this story.

Captain American and Human Torch find a passed out Piledriver who fainted from blood loss after staggering away. And they find Ultron, standing between them and Doom.

Ultron is an Avengers-tier stomper who takes down entire teams and there’s just two heroes who coincidentally were both portrayed by Chris Evans. And the Human Torch’s fire is ineffective as Ultron gloats.

Ultron: “The core of the hottest star could not melt my adamantium body, human! Nothing can harm me! I am invincible! I am mechanically precise and computer-swift! I am perfect!”

When Ultron grapples Human Torch and starts throttling him, Cap tells him to use his nova-flame. Then hides behind his shield.

The flame melts a good portion of the room and the air being superheated somehow doesn’t make Cap crispy. And when the nova flare of the nova flame fades, Ultron’s chassis is still intact.

But the heat damaged something inside and Ultron is down. Johnny is also down, spent from the nova.

I like that the Fantastic Four would have their own way to deal with Ultron should that ever come up. Has it? You’d think it would.

Captain America proceeds to Doom alone but Doom is non-responsive from being Galactus’d.

And Reed, Spider-Man, and Hulk finds Hawkeye and Ben Grimm, where they have outwitted Klaw and Lizard.

Lizard: “Disssturb our gamess-s and the Lizard will dessstroy you! Once we finissh, we will do as you s-ssay!”

Well, whatever works!

With the fighting done, Captain Marvel finds She-Hulk, barely alive. The heroes jam her into a healing tube saving her in the nick of time.

The heroes also jam the villains into healing tubes because they’re heroes and are nice like that.

Considering the heroes were fighting to take prisoners and the villains very much weren’t, it’s lucky that the heroes won the majority of conflicts and got away from the one they didn’t.

The villains that didn’t need bacta treatments - or whatever is in those tubes - got shoved into cells. Also, Doom, because he might need the healing juice but it would require peeling him out of his armor and its probably booby-trapped.

Hawkeye and Captain Marvel return to the village to bring Wasp’s body to DoomHerobase for a funeral but they’re in for a surprise.

It turns out that Zsaji WAS able to heal Wasp who wasn’t dead just in a laser-induced death-like stasis. AS YA DO. It nearly killed Zsaji to bring Wasp back from such grievous injuries.

Colossus learns this by getting into her exposition drugs while she’s passed out and mind-melding with her.

Of course, it just makes the big lug fall deeper in love with her.

The important takeaway is that Wasp is alive. Just like we knew that she would be. The universe has been set right.

Over at Herobase, Reed Richards fixes the Iron Man armor after Rhodey got it a little melted.

Iron Man, James Rhodes: “I’m curious... were you surprised there was a black man under the metal?”

Reed Richards: “Hmm... No, I never gave it a thought! I knew there was a man under there...”

Its a nice exchange.

Its kinda ruined retroactively by Illuminati revealing that Reed knew Tony was Iron Man and would have known about Tony having to step down due to his alcoholism and likely knew about Rhodey taking over.

Dammit, Illuminati!

Elsewhere in the base, Spider-Man spots Hulk and Thor coming out of a room with Thor sporting a brand new cape and helmet. They tell Spidey that there’s a device in there that will make any clothes you want.

Except Spider-Man doesn’t bother asking which device and they don’t bother specifying so Spidey just picks the likeliest one and gets a black glob.

An important black glob.

To eventually be revealed to be an alien goo symbiote and later eventually tied to a dark god that predates the universe.

But for right now, its a way to incorporate a new costume design that a fan submitted. And Spider-Man handwaves it not looking like his old costume by assuming he was thinking of the new Spider-Woman.

So that’s how it is, Pete? She ‘ripped’ you off so you’re gonna rip her off?

You know whats really funny?

A month before this came out, in Spider-Man’s own book, he had learned that the costume was a living symbiote and had gotten rid of it.

It be like that with Secret Wars but its still funny that we’re finally seeing him get the costume just as he’s getting rid of it.

Anyway, Spider-Man’s new costume buzz is interrupted by the planet shaking and someone yelling in his brain.

Professor X: “CAPTAIN AMERICA! COME AT ONCE! IT HAS BEGUN! GALACTUS IS DEVOURING THE PLANET!”

It’s nice that the crises are waiting their turn.

January, 1985

ASSAULT ON GALACTUS!

The issue titles for this story are all so excited.

The X-Men were left on Galactus watching duty so when the big lug starts trying to eat the planet, the X-Men charge in to attack him.

Hm.

Y’know, I sometimes wonder what iconic storylines would have been like if a different set of characters handled it. This used to be great What If fodder. I know there was one where the Avengers tackled Galactus’ first appearance. And because it was the tone of What If at the time to viciously shoot down any divergence of the 616 timeline, THINGS WENT HORRIBLY WRONG.

Think of it like the Turn Left episode of Doctor Who.

POINT BEING, I wonder how the X-Men would have handled Galactus’ first appearance. Of course, this would be the O5 roster so they’d have their work cut out for them.

Heck, even with Storm on the team, the X-Men are over their heads with Galactus.

She hits him with two massive lightning bolts and Galactus keeps working like he didn’t even notice.

The X-Men seem to realize how out of their depth they are (especially sans Phoenixes, their usual Galactus-fighting go-to) but at Professor Xavier’s command they charge in anyway.

Galactus sends out a defensive drone so he can continue not paying the X-Men any mind and the mutants find themselves completely bogged down in fighting the drone while Galactus does his thing.

And from Zsaji’s sweet village, Captain Marvel, Wasp, and Hawkeye see a massive explosion where the X-Men were.

I guess they’re totally dead forever.

Wasp: “Should we head up there now?”

Hawkeye: “No! We’d better wait for Cap... and strike as a unit!”

Hah.

Its the expression, really. Like Hawkeye thinking to himself ‘oh I want no part of that.’

The non-X-Men assemble at Herobase to rush to the fight.

Mr. Fantastic: “Hurry! No telling how long the X-Men can hold out!”

Spider-Man: “Yeah! Where’s the rest of the alphabet when you need it?”

HAH!

Oh, Spider-Man, you are a delight.

In the airship over, Thor notices that Hulk looks glum and tries to cheer him up.

Thor: “If ‘tis that you do not fit in these chairs that depresses you, count yourself fortunate! They were made, I think, for insect men... or by trolls, for torture! If ‘tis the impending battle troubling thee -- just think! What greater chance for glory has man or god e’er known? More even than Ragnarok, this is the battle I was born millennia ago to fight! You, too, are a warrior born, Hulk! A taste of battle and the berserker battle-lust shall rise in thy soul!”

Hulk: “I doubt it! I lost that when I gained the intelligence of my human side -- Bruce Banner! And now I’m slowly losing that, too! I’m not savage enough... or smart enough to be a relevant factor!”

Well, You Tried, Thor.

Johnny Torch is trying to cheer up Ben Grimm who is as grim as his name over his powers popping in and out as they please.

And then the rocks pop back on just as Ben is dramatically bemoaning that he can’t control them.

The Thing: “Whoopie! I’m the Thing again! I’m so happy, I even like you!”

Human Torch: “Yeow! You lummox! Put me down! Jeez, I can see the headlines -- ‘affectionate hug slays Human Torch en route to battle -- universe destroyed as a result’!’“

This book has some decent lines.

Iron Man ogles Spider-Woman under the pretense of not trusting her but then goes a little ‘I’ll show them all!’

Iron Man: “A lot of guys have worked with Iron Man before -- but that was when Tony Stark was in this suit! I think they’ve started to realize there’s a different guy in here, now... an’ they got their doubts! They’re keepin’ their distance -- don’t quite trust me yet! Don’t matter! As long as I got this armor, I’m one ba-ad dude -- especially since Richards souped it up! As soon as that fight starts, I’ll show ‘em -- show ‘em I’m Iron Man! The real Iron Man! James Rhodes is Iron Man -- now and forever!”

Rhodey pls.

Also meanwhile, because this is a long flight, Spider-Man starts hopping all around the interior of the airship overexcited because he’s just discovered that the totally benign goo suit he got has webshooters!

And he squirts Johnny in the face to prove it because that’s just how Spider-Man is sometimes.

Johnny complains that this webbing is even harder to burn than his old stuff which will turn itself into a bit of a plot hole down the line when its revealed that symbiotes are weak to fire.

Whoops.

Its fine though. Pre-modern Venom has always had sloppy writing around it.

He also demonstrates the goo suit’s ability to change shape.

I can’t believe that Marvel were cowards and never had Peter go around in the Summer Variant suit.

Reed lets himself go down a melancholic musing rabbit hole and starts poking holes in the story logic.

Mr. Fantastic: “At face value, the whole thing is absurd! Why would a being so far removed from us and so powerful as the Beyonder bring us across the universe for a stupid, simplistic ‘good-versus-evil’ gladiatorial contest? Is he a mad god? A cosmic idiot? And why us? Why this odd collection of beings, mostly from Earth? And why Galactus? He doesn’t fit! Human beings and even gods may be tempted, but Galactus is a force of nature -- no more capable of having enemies than a hurricane or an earthquake! Why is he here? There must be more to this... but what possible purpose could there be?”

Credit where its due, these are things I’ve been wondering!

But Reed is so busy pondering this that he runs the airship into the energy discharge from Galactus’ machine and crashes the ship on top of Colossus.

Smooth move, absent minded professor.

With only seconds before the world starts to burn, the Avengers, Fantastic Four, and assorted leap into battle against Galactus.

Iron Man manages to get past Galactus’ defense drones and punch his world eating engine, thanks to the upgrades done to the armor.

But now that they’re being successful, Reed interjects and tells them to stop winning so hard. Yes, really.

Mr. Fantastic: “Ben, we can’t go through with this! At last I see a purpose here -- a meaning to the universe for this insane conflict! WE MUST NOT STOP GALACTUS!’

Then Galactus effortlessly blasts the heroes away.

Which, if nothing else, gives Reed a chance to catch his breath to EXPOSIT MORE.

Mr. Fantastic: “For the first time this whole thing makes seom sense to me! I see a possible purpose in it! This is a chance to rid our universe of the threat of Galactus! All we have to do is let him win this contest! If the Beyonder indeed, grants hsi wish, he’ll be freed of his planet-consuming hunger at long last!”

The Thing: “And if the Beyonder reneges?”

Mr. Fantastic: “Re-energized by consuming this world, Galactuc will attack -- I know it! And force the Beyonder to pay up -- or be destroyed in the attempt. Any way you look at it... the universe wins! Countless billions who would have eventually fallen prey to Galactus -- will live in peace!”

Spider-Man: “Yeah, but why us? Why were we picked to decide the fate of the universe?”

Mr. Fantastic: “Why not us? We picked ourselves, remember? Besides... we beings of Earth seem to have a knack for being pivotal in the cosmic scheme of things.”

Reed, some offense but you’re the last person who should be speaking on this.

Galactus is only alive now because you had a hunch that he had some Big Important Role in the cosmic order and saved his life.

You may remember that because THE ENTIRETY OF SPACE PUT YOU ON TRIAL FOR IT.

Turning around on that because now you have a different hunch that everything will be a-okay if the Beyonder kills Galactus, is just such a classic Reed move.

Anyway, the discussion ends because Galactus raptures Reed and the entire mountaintop his machine was sitting on.

Since the suspects of Reed rapturing were Galactus or the Beyonder, its not very surprising that its Galactus forcibly inviting Reed up to his solar-system sized apartment.

What, you thought that the Beyonder would be more present in this story that it initiated? Fool.

Anyway, Galactus wants to have a friendly talk at Reed. Because Galactus is one of the few people that can talk down at Reed and he just has to sit tight and listen.

Meanwhile, over at the former Doombase, locked in a Doomcell, its Doom. Still in his catatonia OR IS IT?

Doom: “THE WORLD SHIP IS THE WAY! Galactus’s home itself is the way I seek! At last, I see!”

He activates the get-out-of-jail-free button hidden in his ankle which activates a point-singularity power supply that busts the door off his cell.

He ignores all of the other imprisoned villains to free Klaw.

Doom: “You, yourself, Klaw, are a ‘recording’ of sorts, due to the time you spent as a wave of vibratory energy coursing through the walls of Galactus’s homeworld! Come with me!”

Klaw: “Where to? Toodle-oo, toodle-oo!”

Doom: “To the lab! I’m going to dissect you!”

Klaw: “Oh, good!”

If it were anyone else that would read as sarcastic.

Its also revealed that Doom talks to himself because he is constantly recording.

Doom: “Every utterance of Doom must be recorded for posterity!”

How on-brand.

Meanwhile, back over at where the fight was, Cyclops OPTIC BLASTS out of the hole Magneto buried the X-Men in to save them from Galactus’ exploding drone.

Good job, Magneto.

Buuut. The fight is over so the X-Men just vaguely wander over to Zsaji’s village to catch up with Captain America’s group.

Zsaji wakes up from her Wasp-healing coma and runs over... right past Colossus to embrace Johnny. To make Colossus sad in the background.

But Johnny is too worried about Reed being raptured to make out with his new space girlfriend right now.

The heroes debate what to do.

Cap(tain America) wants to just stand ready until Galactus comes back and Cap(tain Marvel) suggests finding some spaceships at former Doombase and mounting an assault on Galactus’ imagination-ruiningly huge homeship.

The Thing offers the daring option of ‘hey Reed said not to fight Galactus and dangit what Reed says goes!’

He’s as bad as the Inhumans, I swear.

Reed reappears right about when Iron Man and the Thing are about to come to blows over the ‘do whatever Reed says’ plan.

The Thing: “Stretch! What happened?”

Mr. Fantastic: “Not much! We had tea...”

NOW I KNOW that Galactus likely has some robot servant or device that makes tea for him. But I can’t get the image out of my head of Galactus holding a tiny teapot and serving Reed tea.

How dare this comic cut away and let that happen off-panel!

Anyway, their big OFF-PANEL talk?

Mr. Fantastic: “He told me that I was a ‘force of the universe’ just as he is -- ! That I’m a ‘universal champion of life’ just as he is an instrument of death!”

Now. Nooooow. Champion slash Avatar of Life is a legitimate thing in Marvel, once filled by, uh, Captain Marvel. The Kree guy version. So the position is open.

I just find it easier to believe that Galactus was saying random nonsense to try to befuddle Reed into doing what Galactus wants rather than it being official.

The Avatar of Life page on marvel wiki doesn’t seem to credit it. It only has two versions of Adam Warlock, Drax, and Cancerverse Mar-Vell.

Anyway.

Mr. Fantastic: “I don’t what to say! I’m more convinced than ever that it’s right to let Galactus do what he must! And if I’m a ‘Champion of Life’ does it not make sense to allow Galactus to slay us so that countless billions will live? Or was he telling me that I must fight to serve even these relatively few lives here? I just don’t know...”

Yeeeeah. More convinced than ever that Galactus was filling Reed’s brain with cognitive chaff so to speak.

But Ben “Thing” Grimm is like ‘hey if Reed tells me I gotta die for the good of the universe then I’m ready to die so we’re not fighting unless Reed says so.’

Hawkeye: “This is a real crock! We’ve got to fight! Quitters! Cowards!”

I rarely say this but I think Hawkeye has a point.

Anyway, Galactus reappears the mountaintop, his machine, and himself to get back to snacking on the planet.

Far be it from me to tell Galactus how to ‘mortals are beneath my notice’ but maybe he’d get better results relocating his machine to the other side of the planet. Get some element of surprise, a head start.

No? Fine.

Captain America: “All right, listen up! I’m going to fight! The rest of you come or not as your conscience dictates!”

Wasp: “We’re with you, Cap!”

Captain America: “Good! But first... I just want to tell you, Professor Xavier, that despite our differences, you and your people did us -- and the universe, as far as I’m concerned -- a great service, earlier!”

Professor Xavier: “It was an honor!”

Captain America: “I hope you, the X-Men... and Magneto will come and fight side by side with us now! No one here will deny you’ve earned that much!”

Think about all the grief that could have been saved if people were willing to give Magneto the benefit of the doubt at the beginning of the story! Womp womp!

Meanwhile at Doombase (because the heroes are all off doing stuff and when the heroes are away Doom gets his base back), Doom observes the battle against Galactus starting AND that the Beyonder has cracked open his portal to watch the fight.

But more importantly, Doom cut Klaw into slices.

Back over at the heroes fighting Galactus, the heroes are fighting Galactus.

As in, directly. No drones.

Its a sign that they’re making some sort of progress.

He’s still batting them around like leaves in the wind.

But the Terrific Three show up to actually help.

Mr. Fantastic: “Galactus used enormous amounts of energy transporting his homeworld here -- and I’m sure he hasn’t fed for months! His power is almost depleted! We can take him!”

Captain America: “Richards, I -- I’m glad you’re here -- but what made you change your mind?”

Mr. Fantastic: “I... thought about what Galactus said -- and I’m still not certain that, in the cosmic scheme of things, what we’re doing is right -- but I realized just how badly I want to see my baby born, Cap! I want that more than anything -- ! And I’m going to fight for it!”

Aww.

He’s going to be waiting a long time for that baby though.

Not because of comic book time but because of intense drama reasons.

The heroes manage to reach the top of the mountain and start trashing Galactus’ machine despite Reed insisting that they ignore it and prevent Galactus from escaping.

And Galactus just animation-cell-slides-up ‘I must return to my homeworld’ style.

And as Reed explains how badly they done fucked up, Galactus takes a last look around his homeworld/spaceship. Because he doesn’t need his machine to eat planets. It just makes the process more efficient. So if the heroes are going to be annoying about him eating Battleworld, he’s just going to eat his own dang home!

Mr. Fantastic: “He’s devouring his own living world -- perhaps the greatest energy source in the universe! Moments after he’s finished, this godforsaken planet will be next! We won’t be able to stop him this time! Then he’ll probably consume the sun too! He’ll want every iota of energy available in case he must do battle with the Beyonder! We’re dead men!”

Wow. Is that the most kirby krackle we’ve ever seen?

But as Galactus converts his home into POWER COSMIC, Doom is ready with his own plan to steal that power, aided by a series of lenses he’s turned Klaw into.

As ya do?

You’ll have to tune in to the last quarter of Secret Wars to see if Doom succeeds in doing that thing that he always tries to do.

My thought is: maybe.

Follow @essential-avengers​ for the good job I’m doing with these Secret Warses. Like and reblog maybe.

[optimist-pine]

It’s Complicated: Part 3 || Leonardo

Pairing: 2012 Leo x Reader

Word Count: 1,649

Warnings: Mature themes throughout

You hold your breath each time Raph helps you jump down another step. The wooden planks below you creak as you draw nearer to the bottom of the staircase, Donnie and April waiting to get you situated comfortably in the living room.

"What were you thinking?" April asks. Her hands rest on her hips, and the way she speaks makes you feel like you're being scolded by your mother. 

If she was going to treat you like a rebellious teenager... you simply shrug in response.

"You're the one I thought I didn't have to keep my eye on." She sighs, making her way out of the room as Raph and Donnie help you get seated.

You notice Leo looming in the background, his eyes flitting away as if he had been watching your conversation.

"Yeah, well..." You inhale sharply as Donnie sends a shock of pain up your leg. "Apparently drunk me made some stupid decisions." You mumble. Your eyes flick back over to Leo when you realize how that must have sounded, but his back is facing you and he gives no sign of having heard.

"You're lucky you didn't break anything." He finishes wrapping your ankle, covering the purple and blue skin hidden beneath. "Don't walk on it at all for the next couple of weeks at least. It'll be best if you keep it propped up and move as little as possible, and put fresh ice on it every hour or so."

You groan. "Thanks, Don." You give him the most sincere smile you can muster. This isn't the first time he's helped you out, and it's far from the last.

He chuckles. "Just try not to get hurt so often? I'm already patching those clowns up constantly..." He says gesturing to his brothers and Casey.

Yeah," you nod, "I'll try."

"Do or do not, there is no try." Mikey's voice wafts over from somewhere behind you.

"Right, Mikey is." Casey chimes in, leaning over the back of your chair, dangling a banana in front of you.

You take the fruit before bonking him in the head with it. "Don't act like you two don't constantly crash and burn." You smirk.

"Hey!" Casey reaches out for the banana but you manage to pull it out of his reach just in time.

"Play nice, children." Raph nags with a mouth full of cereal.

Casey gives up on trying to nab the fruit. "Like you can say anything, Mr. I'll put my fist through anything."

"Yeah, and that includes your face so you better shut it." Raph says, waving his spoon around to emphasize his point.

You snicker at Mikey egging the other two on in the background. "Well he wasn't wrong, was he?" You add with a mouth full of banana. After everything that had happened in the last 24 hours you were savoring every moment of normalcy... including a little bit of friendly bickering.

"You too, buttercup." Raph smirks, even though you know he has no intentions to do anything besides finishing his bowl of cereal.

You snuggle down into the chair. "Hey now, I'm already injured over here. You can't touch me."

Raph straightens up. "Oh, really?" He asks, making his way around the couch towards you.

Before he can get there though, he crashes to the floor, cereal spraying across his face and onto the floor. You can see an ornery glint in Leo's eye, but when he looks at you it disappears. He gets up and leaves the room without saying a word to anyone.

"LEO!" Raph grumbles, continuing to lie in the mess for a moment more, while the others have a good laugh at his expense.

If you could chase Leo down you would. But on the other hand, what would you say anyways? 

---

The others all got going on their chores or training, whatever they had planned for the day, while you stayed put, a stack of novels, puzzle books, and an ancient MP3 player to keep you company. During the day everyone besides Leo had stopped by to change the ice, grab you a snack, or help you to the restroom but it had been a full hour since you had heard anyone inside the house. The ice packs were soggy and warm, and your stomach was starting to grumble incessantly. You had been listening intently for any sound of footsteps, but the only noises you could hear came from your own sighs.

You halted scribbling on your puzzle for a moment, hearing the back door creak open and shut again.

"Could you grab me some more ice please?" You ask just loud enough that whoever it was would be able to hear without feeling like you were yelling at them.

The footsteps back-track towards the kitchen where you hear some rustling around in the freezer and then the fridge, and finally open the cookie jar on the counter. Cookies were reserved specifically for dessert after dinner so you figure it's probably Mikey stealing a pre-dinner snack.

"Thanks, Mike-" You start to greet as he walks into the room, but you realize you've got the wrong turtle."- Oh."

Leo sets down a glass of water and a couple of chocolate chip cookies on the table beside you, moving to change out your ice packs.

"Thanks." You say quietly. You can feel yourself stiffen up as he goes to work on your leg.

He pauses, his eyes meeting yours for a moment before he resumes, the fresh cold of the new ice packs numbing your skin. "You up to finishing that conversation?" He asks.

---

Leo thinks he may be more terrified to face you than he was to face the Shredder. He's good at narrowing down his enemies and seeking out his target. Finishing the fight. But this isn't a battle; there is no winner. 

This isn't something he can predict with strategy, because feelings are never predictable. He can't even begin to guess what's going on inside your mind besides what you've told him already. What he's heard you say aloud. You never wanted this. Never wanted it to happen to him. That it was a stupid decision. That last one you didn't say to his face, but he assumed it applied too.

But he wanted to fix things. You meant too much to him to see you look at himself with such raw pain and confusion. He wanted you to crack some ridiculous dad joke that would make everyone groan, but he would know you only intended it for him. He wanted you to run and jump into his arms, making him drop whatever he was holding already as laughter bubbled up your throat. He wanted you to sit and meditate with him because you're the only one he could focus with.

You've ruined it. Your friendship.

He missed training with you. He had taught you how to fight from the start and you had gotten fairly good fairly quickly. The two of you would banter back and forth, your teasing tone ringing in his ears, and as soon as he would take you down your face would light up like you wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

But right now... Right now you looked like you'd rather be anywhere else. Not even when you first met had you seemed so uncomfortable around him, and it broke his heart.

---

The sooner you get this over with, the sooner you can get past it.

You nod before realizing he isn't looking at you. "Uh, yeah." You manage to stammer out, grabbing the glass of water to take a swig and momentarily distract yourself from the entire situation.

He gets up to return the warm packs to the freezer before settling down uneasily on the couch. It doesn't seem like either of you know where to even begin so you pass him one of the cookies, making his brow crease momentarily. 

"Peace offering?" You question, picking up your own to nibble on. You watch him take a small bite before he appears to steel his nerves and look you in the eye.

"You still don't remember anything?" His eyes are wide, and you notice that he's tapping his heel.

Despite the overwhelming awkwardness you try to remind yourself that this is Leo, maybe the person you are closest to on the entire planet. You care too much about him to let this get between you, even if it's difficult. You take a deep breath. "The last thing I remember is talking to you about... Well I'm not sure what we were talking about but we were sitting on the couch... Or maybe your bed? I'm not really sure... After that, just waking up in your room..." You can feel your cheeks start to heat up so you drain half your water glass in one go. 

"I remember kissing you." He blurts. I'm not sure where or what happened before or after... but I remembered it this morning." His green cheeks are tinged with a bit of pink themselves.

Your stomach starts to flip a little. "Yeah but... we... we did more than that... " You try to swallow but it's getting caught in your throat.

"Yeah..." Leo replies, setting his barely-eaten cookie back on the table.

Yours falls to the floor but it barely registers. "Yeah..." The only thing you can focus on is your leg, bandaged and swollen. The tension in the room presses upon your lungs, and your fingers tap the arm of the chair in random jolts.

"Do you think we've messed this up? Being friends?" Leo asks you, the beginnings of tears in his eyes. You hate seeing him like this, especially when you're the reason for his pain.

"I'm not sure." Your own eyes have sent wet tracks down your cheeks now. "I don't want it to."

"Me neither." He states softly, and you release a breath you didn't realize you were holding.

"If it had to be anyone... I'm glad it was you. I hope that's not the wrong thing to say, but it's true..." You say.

If it had to be anyone he thinks... "Me too."

[arcadejohn127-9]

ok so,,, *slides u mc idea* (YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO!!! I JUST WANTED TO SHARE THIS!!!)

MC that doesn't have any energy during the day, just moping around all tired. But from like, 12 AM to 6 AM, really energized and would go out and do the most Chaotic Shit TM. You know when you just come up with some crack idea at 2 AM? MC every goddamn night. Probably tried making a bathtub fly.

(if you do want to do this, please do the brothers and the undateables ^^)

XD WHY IS THIS ME???!!!!! I'm always so tired and never leave my bed but it could be 1 am and suddenly I rise from the dead and just do random things around the house

Though these aren't chaotic, mostly just the boys trying to stop you as they're tired and want to sleep but you're messing around too much. I tried to base it off my own activities and things that would seem funny - sorry if you wanted something more chaotic but I couldn't think of anything

Lucifer:

When he learned about your strange late morning/early morning shenanigans

He saw it was a way for you to finally get your school work done

Every room - and I mean EVERY - had a textbook from your different class with notes, he goes to bed late so he put them their before he tucked in for the night

He could hear your distress at the continuous reminder of work you needed to do

You knew this was his work so you went to his room

Climbing on his bed and just walked over his body

"Stop it, I'm trying to learn how to replicate the set ups from home alone."

"You can do that after doing your coursework, I'm being merciful with you, don't push it."

You just threw yourself down beside him

Pretending to suddenly fall asleep and began to loudly fake snore

You remained like that whilst Lucifer tried to ignore you

He took this as a sign of war

He was going to monitor you all day if he has to, he refuses to let your bad grades affect their image

But you got bored of snoring and left

He felt relief; his desire to sleep over weighing his desire to force you to study

When you came back with a toy gun you altered to shoot golf balls he knew thing's weren't going well

"The-more-you-pressure-me-the-more-I-won't-study."

You shot at his lower body between each words

This was definitely war

Mammon:

He was sleeping just fine until he heard his car rev up

He bolted awake and saw that his car was on, a string of curses coming from inside

He knew of your weird habit of becoming energised at ridiculous times but he wasn't expecting you to do this

He could tell it was you by your voice

He stormed up the stairs towards his car

"Oi! What are you doing in my car? Go to bed!"

You finally were able to turn off the car, just leaning on the wheel casually as if you didn't just accidentally turn it on

"I'm just cruising~ nothing to see here!"

He wasn't amused

He got you out of his car and strung you over his shoulder, scolding you for being so irresponsible and slightly bragging about how much trouble you'd be in if it weren't for him

You tried to explain you were just pretending to drive but you saw the keys still inside and got curious

He just threw you on his bed and held you, hiding his blush in his pillow

You let him fall asleep but when you tried to escape it ended up with your shoulders in a head lock and your ass stuck in the air

It seems your productive night has came to an end

Levithan:

It was a fifty - fifty chance that levithan was awake or not

But Lucifer gave him an earful about staying up late as it's effecting grades

So you betted he was asleep and your desire to game and wonder aroulnd his room set itself in motion

What made it awkward, was when you came in you heard a suspicious girly moan come from his headphones

You both just stared at each other, unmoving

"Uh- this isn't- this is just a dream, this is definitely not happening."

You checked out the game he was playing; recognizing it to be a dating sim he's been following the development of

You just nodded, shuffling over to his set up

"Scoot over dream levi, I wanna see the hot babes."

He got even more embarassed; face completely red as you sat on your player 2 chair

You put your hand on his, forcing his finger to click the mouse and watched what was happening on screen, listening to the loud music from his headphones

Luckily, the voice acting was just suspicious - like most animes - and it was a fairly cute game

You did end up swirling around in your chair aroulnd his room

Both of you coming up with strategies to get the best girl to like you

Though, too much moving and spinning made you and the chair fall over

You bonked Into his bathtub, your ribs squishing against the rim after the trip

Levi let you make all the gaming decisions to make up for it

Satan:

He planned to have some late night reading, hoping it'll make him tired enough to actually sleep

He found you sitting on the floor in the library

Torn books and littered paper was surrounding you

Then he noticed the paper stars and cranes pouring out from your lap as you froze mid fold

"That's....a thousand stars and cranes - where did you get all this paper from?"

"......the books belonged to me before you assume anything!"

He slowly nodded

He wasn't a fan of the destruction of books but they were yours so he couldn't say anything

He felt odd just leaving you in the barely lit library

Just folding paper who knows how long

He asked if you were hungry, guessing you've been awake for a long time

You just shoved paper into your mouth and began chewing

He was horrified

You immediately spat it out, cringing

"that was a bad idea.... that was gross."

He's going to get you food

When he came back he felt more energised; walking around will do that for you

So he decided to just stay with you whilst you folded the many pages of your destroyed books

It was around 6 am when you finally yawned; Satan fell asleep already

You looked at the fire place, your tired brain screaming for arson

He woke up as he heard your fits of poorly muffled giggles

You were throwing your stars in the fire as you sat a fair distance from it

When you threw the cranes, accepting some didn't fly far enough and didn't burn, he asked what you were doing

"It's survival of the fittest, only the strongest cranes survive in this paper world."

Asmodeus:

You were already in his room, you've been sleeping in it almost all day

So when you finally got out you looked around, spotting the makeup kit he got in a sponsorship

He lets his brother's or you use it as it's a spare

But if you touch his stuff; you will perish

So you decided to use that one, practising all sorts of looks and tried not to laugh when you made yourself a clown

You decided to stay in the clown makeup and go into his practice room

What was his practice room?

Well, he hates exercising Infront of people as he'll be sweaty and his hair will get ruined

So that's where he goes but the real magic was the pole in the middle of it

You felt a spark of inspiration

Looking up tutorials on your phone on how to pole dance

It did not go great

You were sliding too fast

Falling over and when you tried to spin, you would just get stuck

"I love you but if you keep disturbing my beauty sleep I will throw you out the window."

He was grouchy; his hair was barely smoothed out and arms crossed

You hugged the pole you were slowly sliding down; a long loud screech coming down

You definitely felt like a clown

"Sorry- you look handsome already so is there really any need for beauty sleep?"

He blushed, agreeing he was beautiful before giving you a "I will end you" smile

You got the hint, flattery wasn't going to work

Perhaps your pole dancing adventures can wait

Beezlebub:

He was aware of your strange energy burst at night, you were talking about it with him the other day

He's been wondering if he would ever spot you and tonight he did

He found you in the kitchen

Just chipping away at the frost on the top of the freezer trays with a small knife

He crouched down behind you, picking you up

Beel let you sit on his thigh and began to eat anything he could get his hands on

Meanwhile you were aggressively stabbing the formed ice

"Why are you doing that?"

He grabbed a handful of the ice chunks that fell from your stabbing

"Not sure what I want to do tonight and the build up was bothering me."

He didn't need to know anymore, just nodding and letting you do your own thing whilst he ate

He cleared out the entire fridge in no time

Letting you eat anything you wanted whilst you were hard at work

He noticed one part of the ice wasn't giving it to your stabbings

He just gripped it and easily broke it off

You thanked him and ignored how he was able to eat the big block with breaking it

Whenever something was too stubborn he would just break it off for you

It went on like that until you were satisfied

You closed the empty freezer and turned to your assistant

"Good work, but I'll need your help again, I can't reach the top cupboard and I know it's big enough to let me sit in it."

He got to eat more so he had no issue, helping you get into the cupboard once he was done clearing it out

Belphegor:

You were so energised yet you couldn't think of what to do

You put a spell on you to stop you from feeling pain and began to let yourself roly-poly down the hallways

You penciled rolled abit too fast at one pointand ended up thumping down the stairs

You were thankful the spell worked

It got to the point you just kept rolling around until you couldn't anymore

You padded the broom closet

Immediately doing a double take when you noticed a body In the darkness

You went over and turned on the closets light

"is there a reason you're sleeping in the broom closet?"

Belphie was grumbling, trying to hide his face from the light

He glared up at you for disturbing his sleep

"Is there a reason you're rolling around the house?"

"Touchè."

You ended up dragging belphie around the house

You felt like you committed a crime and it was fun

He was fast asleep and you were bored

You dragged him by the ankle and tried to keep his body from banging into anything along the way

You ended up bumping into Beel, he was looking for his twin, and he noticed you were dragging him

Belphie slightly woke up, waving at his brother before going back to sleep

Beel carried the two of you back to the his bedroom; hugging you both

If it weren't for these warm beefy arms you would be free! Free to terrorise all the shadows in the room

You gave up your night activities when even Belphie wrapped an arm around you

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

Dia was sneaking around the house, hoping not to run into his butler

He didn't want be to be sent back to bed

He was planning to have a light night snack and see how you were going

He knew you were always doing something during the nights, it surprised him when he found out because you were always in bed whenever he saw you

He checked your bedroom and didn't see you in your bed

Suddenly, he noticed a pile of black by his feet

He saw you, scrunched up on your back with the little D's covering your body, all hugging you

"oh! I almost didn't spot you under there, are you alright?"

"I'm great~ you should join me."

The little D's You were able to scratch were purring in their sleep

He found the sight adorable as he crouched down

"I'm teaching them to love me so they can willingly become armour for when I take over the Devildom - we'll be like the rat king!"

He just quietly laughed; the prince helping you pet and scratch the little D's

He agreed you'd make a good ruler

Though he had to force himself to be silent as you started chanting whispers of 'You will be my armor' and 'rat king'

Decided to leave you and your brain washing, going to the kitchen like he intended

Though when he walked past your room again you and the little Ds weren't there

He found you in his room, pouting and dangling off the chandelier

He helped you down, asking what was wrong

You told him the little D's banished you from the cuddle pile because you kept trying to make them move as one being

He patted your head and told you you'll become the overlord some day

Barbatos:

"Why are you making pudding at 3 am?"

He already knew why, just like he knew you were here hence why he visited you

But that didn't stop him from asking

He knew you liked it when he showed his intrigue in things even if he already knew about them

"my hands demand to CREATE- oops sorry - hopefully that didn't wake anyone."

He was always surprised to see you up and about during the nights

He was always the one looking after you in the morningsa; making sure you ate and had a drink

Whilst you just laid in bed, always barely awake and unmotivated

He stayed with you, watching over you as you made your pudding

Making soft spoken discussion as he guided you through any steps you seemed to become hesitant in

You ended up making 10 batches of pudding

Barbatos eating a few whilst he watched you

When you grew bored of pudding making you ate the cups he didn't eat

Saving a few for lord Diavolo in the fridge

He complimented your pudding, telling you that they were very delicious

You felt proud; having a spark to make more food

He told you what would be best during this time of night and helped you

Though it did end up with the both of you covered in flour and barb slipping on a dropped egg

You both thought it was best to clean up and stop for the night

He was very embarassed he made a fool of himself

Solomon:

He didn't expect to find you in his working space

He knew you would be awake but didn't even think of you doing what you're doing right now

"is there a reason you're drinking my potions like their shots? I must say this is rather interesting - how many did you have?"

You wiped your mouth, your hiccup coming out as exploding bubbles

You looked at the small glass viles, and saw ALOT of them empty

More than you realized

"uh- 3?"

he just chuckled, reading the notes you made

The notes was recording what each potion did to you

He was thankful you remembered this was his safe batch

Unknown to him you in fact did NOT remember and was having a Russian roulette game with them

He sat with you, making a cure for your explosive hiccups

You happily drunk it and felt better

He laughed more when he saw your scribbles; drawing what happened to you

Solomon will be making you his potion tester from now one so beware

Simeon:

He was an early riser; awake by 3 am and usually did some writing or watched TV until he got tired again

He had a mug of tea, shuffling through the dorm

He's hung out with you plenty of times whilst you cure your late night boredom

But he was surprised when he saw you in the living room, mini flashlight in your mouth and scrubbing the floors with a sponge mop

"Oh, you don't need to clean - that's very sweet of you but don't you think it's abit early to do this?"

You looked at him, semi blinding him with the flashlight

Immediately took it out of your mouth and apologized

You agreed it was but you wanted to do it as you've been meaning to for the past week

He just nodded, letting you do your own thing whilst he enjoyed his drink

But you suddenly felt awkward; no longer wanting to clean now that someone was in the room

You made your way over to him, climbing on the coffee table and jumping onto the sofa

He was curious on why you weren't doing your thing anymore

"dunno know, just feels awkward when people watch me do stuff."

He suggested leaving you be, saying he'll stay in his room

But now you felt bad because he wanted to rest in the living room

In the end, he helped you clean and you both fell asleep in the bathtub, cuddling up with towels working as padding and a blanket

Luke:

You liked creeping Luke out

It was fun, so far you've convinced them that you're a type of demon that watches bad children whilst they sleep

But really you just wanted to feel like a cryptic, sitting in the corner of his room on a cupboard

It wasn't long for him to wake up from your staring

"I'm going to tell Simeon if you keep staring at me."

You wanted to laugh; he really was a child

Luke wasn't aware that you were a night owl, he just assumed you were always tired and sleeping

He liked to help you around the house and look after you when he could

It almost made you feel had

Almost

He's been extra stubborn about liking the Devildom to the point he's Been insulting his friends and trying to push them away

"Luke, you've been very bad, pushing your friends away just because they're a demon isn't good - embrace your friendships."

You weren't amazing at changing your voice but it seemed to work on him

He complained that it wasn't right for angels and demons to be friends

But you quickly reminded him what this whole exchange program was about

"you have been chosen to help fix the divide between the three realms, just hang out with the people you care about or I'll eat your toes!"

He immediately got scared, scrunching into himself and only peered slightly out of his blanket

He made you promise to leave him alone if he made up with the demons

You agreed, feeling bad for disturbing his sleep but thankful your plan worked

[writemymemoir]

Stowaway  Pt 5. (The Mandalorian x fem!reader)

SUMMARY: A start of a plan

A/N:

Going my own way away from the series, but i still want to keep it true to it. So real big plot things will occur when they come out each week. While I’m waiting, I’ll try and do character and relationship 𝒹𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓁𝑜𝓅𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉

T/W:

Adult language

Part 4

The walk back to the ship was done in silence. Mando carried your limp body as if it was nothing.

Even through Mando’s best efforts, you were still dripping from the rain as he settled you on a seat in the ship’s corridor. Your head rested on the back wall, unable to hold its own weight. Mando lifted the child off your lap and turned to put him to bed.

“Why didn’t you tell me the kid had a tracking chip,” You asked, voice quiet.

Mando stilled, just finishing putting the kid to bed.

“I thought this port would be quiet enough,” He said, you scoffed in response.

“You thought? You don’t seem like the type of person to have actual good thoughts,” You were angry, “You withheld vital information, without it the kid and myself could have been killed.”

Mando’s back was still to you.

“I knew you could handle it,” Was all he said.

You bared your teeth at him.

“You don’t even know me, we met days ago,” You felt energy return to your body, the anger fuelling you.

“I knew because of what you did when we fought,” he paused. Turning he finally looked at you. “I was confident you would be ok. I knew you would protect him.”

Springing to action, you stuck out your hand towards your staff. It flew into your hand. Jumping up from your seat, you ran towards Mando. Your first hit landed across his helmet.

“How dare you,” You punctuated your words by hitting him again each time. “I could’ve been killed!” You swung again, aiming now at his gut. He wasn’t defending himself, letting you take your anger out on him.

 “At least tell me I’m in some kind of danger! I walked into that cantina as blind as ever,” Your hits were getting weaker, the energy being spent as soon as it entered your body. He caught your last swing.

“I’m sorry,” He said, a hint of sincerity in him voice, “I had no choice.”

Yanking your staff out of his grip, you turned away from him and made your way back to your seat.

“You always have a choice if you have trust.”

He walked towards the med kit. Sighing, you slouched. “This should be enough to fix up your cut.” Handing you an ointment, he stepped back assessing you.

Turning, he walked to the bed. He opened one of the cabinets inside the bed’s area. Spending some time quietly shuffling around in it, he found what he was looking for and made his way back to you, holding a bundle of clothing.

“You can change into this if you want, and let your clothes dry out,” He said, handing you the bundle. You nodded to him and he turned and made his way up to the cockpit.

Resting your head in your hands, you rubbed you head. A headache was forming.

Getting up from your seat, you stripped and put on the clothes. The pants were way too big for you, making you have to roll up the pant legs, tighten the drawer strings. The shirt was loose as well, sleeve coming over your hands.

Climbing up the ladder to the cockpit, you joined Mando.

“So, why exactly does the kid have a bounty?” You asked, looking out the window to space.

“I don’t know,” He said, and you turned your head to look at him.

“You don’t know?” You said, confused. “Do you have an idea?”

“The people who want him, I think they’re with the Empire,” He said. Fear ran through you.

“What makes you think that?”

“The person who set the bounty was guarded by Stormtroopers,”

“You know who set the bounty?” You asked, someone who still had allegiance to the Empire would want to have the utmost secrecy.

Mando sighed.

“I took the bounty in the first place,” He said. You chuckled.

“Big bad bounty hunter couldn’t bring in a kid, huh?”

“I did bring him in,” He said, you squinted your eyes, “I just changed my mind after I got paid.”

“You are the dumbest person I have ever met, and I’m saying that,” You said shaking your head. “So, what has been your plan? And why haven’t you taken out his tracking chip?”

“Plans been quite simple. Find a planet that is quiet, and leave the kid there,” he said. You whipped you staff out and bonked him on the head. He tried to swipe at you staff, but you pulled it away from him quickly. Turning his head, he seemed to glare at you through his helmet.

“I am coming up to the limit of how much stupidness I can take Mr Mando,” You said, “If the Empire wants that kid, there are a lot of bigger things at play here.”

Turning back around, Mando slouched a touch.

“What about the tracking chip? I feel that would assist you somewhat in your dumb plan,” You asked, resting your staff next to you for quick access.

“I don’t know what he is, I couldn’t safely perform surgery on him without knowing his species vitals.”

“Wow,” you said breathlessly, Mando turned to look at you, “You do think.”

Scoffing, he turned around again.

“Were you with the rebellion?” You asked. Mando didn’t respond. After a while you continued.

“Well, as you may have figured, I don’t know many things. I don’t even know what you are.”

Mando looked at you.

“I am a Mandalorian, I come from a clan of mercenaries whose history dates back years,” He said, “I feel it is time for you to expand your knowledge.”

You pursed your lisps. Rude. You thought about the information.

“So Mando isn’t even your real name?”

Mando chuckled.

“That is what you get out of that? The mere thought of a Mandalorian is enough to put fear into the hearts of millions and yet you’re focused on my name?”

“Well I told you mine, its only fair you tell me yours,” you said, crossing your arms.

“You’ll find out my name when you need to,” He said, you rolled your eyes.

“I just killed two people to protect your child, and you wont even tell me your name,” You said, leaning back in your chair.

“He’s not my child.”

“Not biologically,” You said smirking. “Now, I think we need to get a better plan. And if you think its because your current plans completely sucks, then you would be correct.”

“Well then, what do you think we should do?” He asked.

“Find out what’s so important about the kid, then destroy the person who put the bounty up,” He said, it was quite simple in your head.

“I did some reading at the port-“

“When I was fighting for my life?” You cut in.

He sighed.

“Yes.” After a pause.

“So, what did you find,” You asked, interest piqued.

“You know how the Empire was destroyed right?” He asked.

“Yeah, the rebels blew up the Death Star,” You’d never seen the Death Star, but you had heard rumours. Evens those made it sound like the most terrifying thing.

“Well, have you heard of the Jedi?” He said, you looked up to him.

“You don’t hear much of them in the outer rim, but yes, I have heard a thing or two,” You said, Jedi were kids stories. Stories of the Empire tracking them down and killing them for going against it. You shivered.

“Mustn’t have heard a lot, since you didn’t recognise one of their most notable traits.”

“And that is?” You asked.

“Use of the Force,” He said plainly.

“The Force?” You hadn’t heard of it before, the most you had heard of the Jedi were lightsabers, acrobats and one blew up the Death Star himself.

“What is it?” you asked.

“It’s what the kid used once,” Mando pause, “And what you did when you fought me.” You looked at him in confusion.

“I’m a Jedi?” You were dumbstruck.

“No, you’re what they call, force sensitive,” He said.

“Well, there’s an obvious explanation here,” You said after some thought, “The Empire killed the Jedi, they would want to kill force sensitive people as well.”

“The kids different, they were offering the kind of money you’d never see for a bounty,”

You looked down into the corridor to the bed. You knew you were getting into something big. Galactic Empire big, but you knew this was important.

“Well, we should try and did for some information about this underground Empire,” You said, “Lets try and get this ball rolling.”

“We’ll start at the last place you saw him,” You continued. Mando looked at you.

“That would not be a good idea, I left that place in a worse social standing then when I found it,” He said.

“How annoying. That really doesn’t make this easier.”

“How about we come back to your plan at a later date, we need to do a job.”

“We? Last time I checked you were the bounty hunter and I was the babysitter,” You said, “I’ve been doing my job, only fair you do yours.” Mando sighed.

“Great,” he said, none too enthusiastically, “Guess I’ll go make some money.”

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[jovialyouthmusic]

Girls’ Nights Out Revisited

I’m submitting this for Wacky Drabbles, and hope to keep posting with the prompts. If you’ve not read my ramblings, you can get a little catch up here otherwise it won’t make much sense. Already I should thank @katedrakeohd​ for helping me with some ideas - normally I don’t even have a ‘pla’ ... The prompt I don’t need your judgement is in bold. 

A/N In the photo above, top left is Lizzie, top right Sophia. Bottom left Lucy, bottom right Charlotte. Not pictured - myself, the author. My avatar is pretty accurate.

Chapter 1 Plotting

I sat looking at a blank screen, racking my brains. I’d just finished off a major storyline in one of my main fanfic stories, and followed up with a little mini series. What next? I had three or four ongoing stories that I could work on. That’s when I heard a polite cough, and looked around for the source – stupidly, of course I was alone on my laptop, sitting up late after my partner had retired for an early evening. It sounded similar to when Drake used to call on me from the other side of the screen, but this polite cough was female. I jumped as I heard a familiar voice come from behind the screen.

‘Jeez Loiuse, what does it take to get your attention? Hellooooo’ I minimised the document to see a familiar face – it was Lucy. She had proved a bit of a handful a few months previously when four of my female characters went on a virtual adventure to take my Regency character Elizabeth Dalgleish, on a girl’s night out before her wedding to her love interest.

‘Excuse us for the intrusion, but we’d like to talk to you’ The clipped regal tones of Charlotte chipped in as she too became visible on screen. I sighed. I had the feeling trouble wasn’t far away.

‘What do you ladies want?’ I asked cautiously.

‘Come over and talk to us, it’s been so boring lately’ Lucy frowned.

‘Speak for yourself’ Sophia’s voice chimed in from behind her ‘I’ve had a great time with Bastien’

‘Yeah we know, bonking Bas in the shower again’ Lucy rolled her eyes ‘Lucky you, but me and Charlotte haven’t had a look in lately, and Lizzie went back to sleep again’

‘She did?’ I remarked ‘Heck I‘m sorry, but I guess there just isn’t enough of me to go around’ I said sarcastically ‘Can’t you amuse yourselves?’

‘We’re kind of running out of energy’ Lucy said ‘Not so many folk reading about us just lately – you need to give us a boost’

‘Okay, I’ll see what I can do’ I was about to go back to my blank page, but Lucy intervened.

‘No, don’t go!’ she wheedled ‘Come and have fun with us. You promised us all nights out of our own’ I frowned in concentration and scratched my head.

‘Well, it’s been pretty crazy in my neck of the woods, a little break wouldn’t hurt’

‘Fantastic! You won’t regret it, I promise’ Lucy grinned disarmingly. I put my hand to the screen, closing my eyes and feeling the pull as I was sucked into the virtual world.

I opened them to Charlotte putting a settling hand to my elbow as I swayed slightly. The location was unfamiliar to me but a brief look out of the window revealed that it was Lucy’s manor at Valtoria. The lounge was fresh and contemporary with a concession to her regal stature. I had barely landed when Lucy had thrown her arms around me with enthusiasm and swept me into a tight bear hug.

‘Les, you’re my favourite best buddy’ she gushed. Over her shoulder I noticed the coffee table set with an ice bucket, an open bottle of champagne and four glasses, and detected the faint whiff of alcohol on her breath.

‘I – uhh Lucy…’ I gasped, rapidly running out of virtual breath as she squeezed me tight. Charlotte gently put her hand on Lucy’s shoulder

‘Calm down, Lucy’ she said softly ‘Let the poor woman breathe’ Lucy let go of me with an apologetic smile.

‘Sorry Les, it’s just so damn good to see you’ she said sheepishly ‘You should visit more often’ I pursed my lips. Goodness knows life had been a little grim of late, and spending time with my virtual friends was a welcome diversion.

‘Okay, you wanted your own hen nights – so who’s first?’ I asked. The three women all started to talk at once, and I waved my hand to calm them down. ‘Okay, okay, Lucy should perhaps be the one, as I wrote about her first…’

‘But she’s already had two weddings’ Sophia pointed out ‘Charlotte has had a private ceremony and is waiting for you to write her state wedding – but as for me…’ She made a sour face ‘I’ve had a proposal and that’s it’

‘Steady on Sophia - Les is a busy woman’ Lucy remarked

‘But Sophia my dear, Les wrote about you last of all’ Charlotte pointed out ‘Our readership might be down, but you benefitted most when Les wrote about your little holiday after she got rid of Anton’

‘So it’s a stalemate’ Lucy sighed ‘We all have a claim – how can we decide?’

‘Well I’m not going to ask my readers’ I replied ‘I always end up with a dead heat whenever I poll them’

‘I know - what about a drinking game?’ Lucy grinned. Charlotte shook her head emphatically

‘Not a chance - you’d win for sure’ she said sourly

‘Are you calling me a lush?’ Lucy snapped

‘If the cap fits…’ Charlotte said primly.

‘I don’t need your judgment’ 

‘Now now, girls, lets keep it friendly ‘I scolded. ‘We have to do something more neutral’

‘Oh – how about rock, paper, scissors?’ Sophia suggested

‘That would be complicated with three of you’ I mused.

‘We could draw lots’ Charlotte said. Lucy glared at her, but I could tell she was settling down after her outburst.

‘As you’re all adept at manipulating virtual objects, I’m not sure I trust you not to cheat’ I pointed out.

‘Fair point’ Lucy shrugged ‘We can all do that in some way, so I think you should make the decision’

‘I’ve a better idea’ I said ‘Let’s wake Lizzie up and ask her’

@wackydrabbles​

[chequeredwhitpost]

🌍🌎🌏Saving the World🌍🌎🌏                      --Douxie X OC--

--------------------------------------- Part One --------------------------------------------------

The lot of us trudge through the icy terrain, freezing cold wind at our backs, being ankle-deep in snow. Our bodies are shivering and cold to the touch, but we’re almost there. Almost… there. 

Hi. My name is Emmett. I am the great wizard-ess of Crysto magics and Vibra magics. 

‘Pfft. Yeah right.’

And I am really fortunate enough to have a connection and be able to study under the guide of Merlin. (Even if he is a big jerk sometimes.) But this? This environment is dreadful! I never signed up for any quests to go on for world saving! This is ridiculous. And I’m freezing my butt off!

I feel a few shivers run through me as we reach the top of the hills. A great view this would be… IF everything weren’t LAYERED IN ICE!

I. Hate. The. Cold. 

If it wasn’t already clear, myself and the rest of the team of people I know are on a quest to ‘save the world’. What a load of bull, if you ask me. I mean, our enemies are on their way to resurrecting a great and vicious BEAST that wants to slay the world! What hopes do we have in finding this lady’s tomb? How powerful could a human have really been? 

Not that powerful, in my opinion. 

I feel a great bonk on the back of my head, and fumble forward. My feet snag in the snow and I go down-- face first. Looking up behind me I see that it was Merlin who hit me upside the head…. With his staff. 

I growl under my breath and glare at him.

“What the bucket was that for, old man?!” I snip.

“You were doubting our opportunity to prevent the end of the world. Again.” 

“Yeah? Well that’s no reason to hit me on the head!!” 

Hisirdoux sighs and helps me up off the cold ground. 

“You have to try and keep hope that this will work, Emm’.” 

“It will work.” Merlin grumbles. 

“Whatever you say…” 

“Are you asking to get bonked again?” 

I huff a breath.

“No, master Merlin.” 

“Then I suggest you keep that loud mouth of yours shut.” 

I sigh and follow Merlin through the trees. We come up to a large bank of ground. But the ground --- big surprise-- is all ice. For as far as the eye can see, too. I shrug my shoulders and turn around to head home.

“Welp, guess it was all for not! Let’s go home~.” 

Archie flies in front of me and scowls. I huff and hold my arms out on either side.

“Oh gimme a break! What do you say we do from here on?!” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Bids Merlin, “We cross the ice.”

I look at him and laugh. 

“Oh that’s funny.” 

“How so?” 

“You actually… hah, you expect me to walk out on that thin ass ice!?” 

“Uh, language, Emmett.” Archie scolds.

I shoot him an angry glance. 

“It shouldn’t be… thin.” Merlin pokes the ice with the butt of his staff. It only dents.

“You’re actually going to cross it??” 

“Yes.” 

I roll my head back, looking at the grey sky.

“Ugh. Fine. BUT IF WE DIE I’M GONNA KILL YOU GUYS.” 

“Uhhh.” 

Douxie shakes his head at Archie, 

“Just let her have that.” He whispers. 

I grumble under my breath and swing my arms out to motion to the field of ice. 

“After you.” I say through gritted teeth. 

We start walking out onto the ice-- me second in the line-- and it’s almost like everything is gonna be fine… until we hear a crack. I stop for a second, thinking one thing. 

I’m gonna die. 

I wait a few seconds but no more cracks appear, so I keep moving. But then another loud chip sounds out and I freeze in anticipation. 

“Um, you guys hear that right?” I croak. 

“Nothing to worry about. It’s only a simple leak in the ice.” 

“Leak… in the ice?” Douxie frets. 

“Yes. A leak in the ice, that’s what I said.” 

“BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN????” 

“It means that the ice is cracking.” 

“Oh fuzz buckets.”Sinks Douxie. 

“You are hopeless, old man. YOU LEAD US OUT HERE!! ON A MINEFIELD OF ICE!!!” 

“Wait… If the ice is cracking… what’s going  to happen to us?” 

“What do you mean?” Archie asks. 

“Where… will we go? Are we gonna fall off the hill?” 

“More like we’ll fall underneath it.” Merlin blurts. 

I turn pale. 

“WHAT?!” 

 Merlin sighs a deep breath and turns to face us three. 

“You might want to brace for impact in case this goes south.” 

“What.” 

He crashes his staff into the ice, piercing a hole in it. He bends over as, like, a bazillion cracks are formed from his hole. He plucks his staff back out and kneels down, peeking through the hole.

“Hmm. It’s just as I thought.” 

“WHAT NOW???”

He looks up and chuckles.

“We’re about to fall into a deep cavern.” 

“Oh shi---” 

The ice cracks and we plummet down into the caverns. 

Screaming. 

For our lives. 

(Or at least I am.)

||||||||||||||||

When I finish blacking out… I open my eyes and see darkness. I shiver. It’s even colder now than before! I hold out my hand and summon a glowing crystal to shine the darkness out of its place. I huff a breath, seeing the air of mine out before my face. 

“Douxie? Archie?” I call. 

“Ugh….” 

“Here…” 

I sigh a breath of relief upon hearing their groans of life. As for Merlin though. . . I don’t really care. 

And then I feel another hit to the back of the head.

“OW!!! ...Ergh, damnit!!” 

I turn and see …

Merlin.

“What was that fo---” 

“Doubting me, of course.” 

“Can you read my thoughts or something!? Damn dude!!” 

“‘Dude?” 

“Language, Emmett.” Groans Archie. 

“Oh shut it, Arch.” 

I gruff, rubbing the back of my head. 

“So unlady like…” 

I watch as Douxie gets up and comes over to my side. He lends me a hand in getting back on my feet. I thank him, still rubbing my aching head where I’ve been hit.

“So… Where are we?” Archie asks, changing the subject.

“Good question.” Douxie hums.

Merlin looks around and says nothing. He sees a corridor in the cave and just starts walking for it. No plan exposed. No secret map shortcut. Nothing. Foolish old man. 

“You want to get hit again?” Douxie asks me.

“Wha--? Can everyone read my mind?!” 

“It’s written all over your face actually.” 

“What is?” 

“Your doubts and emotions. You’re practically an open book, Emm’.” 

“Whatever. . .” 

“We should probably follow him before he gets away.” Notes Archie. 

“R-right.” 

|||||||||||||||||||

“Whoa… What is this place?” I ask, gazing upon a small frozen garden within the depths of the cave. 

A glowing tree resides in the middle of the garden, with a small podium nested in front of it. I gasp upon the beautiful sight. 

“I believe we have found her tomb.”

“Her tomb?” 

“The Guardian of Beauty. The Wizard of Life. The ____ of ____. But her true name… Was Juni of Gardevonn.” 

“Wait… She sounds familiar.” 

“She should. We’ve been discussing her powerful potential in my lectures as of late. But you wouldn’t know that in between your naps, now would you?” 

“Ooh, he has you there.” 

“Archie.” 

The small cat-dragon huffs a snicker and perches on Douxie’s shoulder. I roll my eyes and we move forward for the tree. I can't help but marvel at the glowing tree’s blue color. I hum a note and we come up to the podium, which is now noticeably frozen in ice. I huff a breath and reach my hand out for the ice. Upon contact, I feel something similar to it.  Like … My crystal magics. 

“It’s not just ice.” 

“It isn’t?” 

“Nope. This is a mixture of the cold stuff and crystals.” 

“So… I would ask if you can get the book out-- but i’d rather know what the book is before we potentially risk our lives for it.” 

“It is the book of monsters.” Answers Merlin. 

We all look at him.

“The book of Monsters?” 

“That is correct. A book about all the weaknesses monsters have. Monsters not from this world.” 

“Wait… What would a human wizard have a book like this for? Where did she even get it?” 

“I'm afraid that she was never given this book. In fact, she wrote it herself.”

“What?” 

“She was the first with mastery over life. Naturally, she’d keep a book to all the weaknesses of monsters who lived.” 

“And ones that might be coming back?” I check. 

“Yes. That is the hope anyway.” 

“Great. Let’s bust it out and get going then!” 

“I’m not so sure it’s that easy,” 

“Sure it is,” I mark, “I can remove the crystal protection and Archie can melt the ice with his dragon breath.” 

“Oh. Right.” 

“Hmm. Just proceed with caution.” Merlin heeds. 

We nod. 

I put my hands against the cold surface and cast a spell to remove the first half of protection. It’s gone in a matter of seconds. I feel a bit dizzy afterwards but nothing new. Then, I step back beside Douxie and he grabs my hand. 

Looking at him, he nods and smiles at me. 

“Your hands are freezing.” He notes. 

“I wonder why.” I joke.

“Cheeky.” 

Archie melts the ice and makes sure to be careful about not burning the book. Once the cover is free, Merlin steps forward and rips the book out of the ice. But as we think it's all good, the cave rumbles. 

“Oh wonderful.” 

“Let’s get out of here!” 

“I agree.” 

And we run. 

Run run run, back to Camelot.

To prepare for the worst.