#not dead just deteriorating | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

melviships · 1 year ago

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(stumbles out of a horror film franchise covered in blood) something LGBT happened to me

#melviships crushing hours #let's be open here Melvis #we made an insert #their name is Mallory and I will be adding the tag shortly #also hi.#not dead just deteriorating #I'm 26 now #will update pages eventually #also it was the 10th in case y'all think it was today ugxugxuhcucg

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago

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Was thinking about your au and realized that whichever neighbour wakes up last is in for a very awkward reunion

Imagine waking up to your entire neighbourhood being in an apocalyptic scenario, and you’re the last to find out about it-

technically the last neighbor is Sally BUT Julie is the last "normal-sleeping" neighbor to wake and yeah! she sure has a hell of a time! i mean tbh it's kinda her And Barnaby? they wake up within a week of each other (the neighbors wake via Pacific Rim kaiju rules) so their breakdowns overlap <3

#julie wakes up just in time for the situation to Start Deteriorating At A Rapid Pace #like 'welcome back julie! frank is very close to dying the neighborhood is quite literally beginning to crumble'#'tensions are very high and everyone is starting to lose it <3 also your memories and siblings and life and world was a lie <3 good luck!'#she and barnaby have it the worst smh #well. kinda the worst #cause sally wakes up to an (arguably) Even Worse Scenario and also tons of guilt etc etc #sally: oh so its my fault my friends are injured and/or dying/dead. cool. im going to cope with this so gracefully (lie)#(side note: the death(s) are Not her fault. they were going to happen no matter what)#(well. i say no matter what. they'd have been prevented if the lights had been turned back on but we all know that wasnt really an option)#rambles from the bog #wh lights out au #and julie does not really get time to adjust...#shit is already going down #but only a week or so after she wakes up Shit. Goes. Down.#the transition into act two occurs and thats a whooooole enchilada in of itself #and trust me a week is Not enough to adjust!#especially when frank passes out halfway through and then never wakes back up smhhhhh #julie: at least i have frank! right frank? frank? frank-#julie: ....#julie: at least i have eddie! and wally!#julie: wh- whats that? mhm. mhm. oh. really? oh...#julie: at least i have eddie!

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drizzledrawings · 1 year ago

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That one line that Dutch says after guarma to Arthur

“You sound like him” makes me wanna bash my head into a wall!!!!!!! Dutch’s coldness and dismissal of Arthur is so tied to Hosea’s death and I stand by that! Dutch’s grief over Hosea was such a tipping of the iceberg

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withleeknow · 5 months ago

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#ngl we've been feeling kinda frustrated here lately!#is it just me or has it been kinda dead over on this side of tumblr #am i about to start streamlining my shit bc all people seem to care about is smut lol #also we have a problem with minors again bc last week why tf did i have to block a 13-year-old #you were born in 2011 ??? you were literally one year old when payphone - maroon 5 came out ???#you should not be lurking on my blog which clearly states minors dni - which you clearly ignored right before you hit that follow-#button right below those words lol #i am so pressed about so many things i'm gonna keep deteriorating in the gc bc people might bury me for the shit i have to say lol #jen rambles

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kal-thas · 3 months ago

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guys when the disability is disabling 👎

#sorry stupid vent post <3 #im gonna be angry in the tags here for a second #im just. idk. sick of being aware of the fact that im getting worse.#i had a week off from work for moving and school purposes #and now that im back i am . oh boy 👍 not great #literally passed out this morning which . thats new. dont like that.#hopefully its just a . one off thing. i dont know. but. idk.#something something capitalism something something ableism something something im tired of this grandpa #i am tired of being in pain <3 im tired of feeling like im falling behind constantly and like im letting everyone down #by just not being able to do the things i feel i should be able to do.#and like. also currently looking at wfh jobs bc i do not think my body can handle school and work and having to stand and walk and stairs #that much . every single day.#and i feel bad about that too bc i transfered to this store ! i put in work to be here at this store and my fucking body is giving out !!#its not even bad. its a much quieter store than the one i came from. everyone ive talked to is nice. the manager is understanding #and i hate that i feel like im just. deteriorating. and failing at everything <3 #but like whatever . its whatever. i know its just the. internalized shit of 'yeah but im not bad enough to warrant this'#like ! fuck !#idk. things to bring up in therapy i guess <3 #ok goop night sorry for this. i wont be deleting bc fuck me if i ever delete a post. cringe is dead or wtvr

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armorangels · 3 months ago

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this may be a hot take, but i think neil had been having suicidal ideologies since before his father banned him from being an actor. that was just the final straw.

#i would argue that he had been feeling urges since the very beginning of the film #we just see his mental health deteriorate in real time so it becomes more noticeable #his father finding out about his interest in acting was the littlest ounce of hope he had left #and the dismissal finally blew neil's flame out #but yeah unfortunately i think it's something he had been considering for quite some time #dead poets society #neil perry #dps #tw suicide #ask to tag #dps headcanons

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spotsupstuff · 1 year ago

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How did Gem become the terrifying witch she is today? Was she like that when she was was first booted up?

probably similar case to Murder of Crows

in the case of Crows, a Gen 3, her existence is explicitly filled with emotion cuz that's just how poor Gen 3s are. instead of the usual "going to anger/determination or joy", Crows' programming scanned through the starting info package and went clinical depression mode

Gen 1s are more callouse about emotions, robotical, usually fall back on logic in their first few years. Gem's programming scanned through the starting info package AND interacted with her elders- especially most likely Boreas and Disdain, two most morally complex Iterators currently online (Orion and Spore were sweethearts, Zephyr generally unavailable to anyone but Boreas and Orion)- and her programming concluded that morality is a choice she doesn't have to take to reach her goals- in fact it might actual hinder her progress- and deleted the stuff out of herself

cue typical growing up stuff in a society where death isn't taken all That seriously while still carrying the horrific effects on mental health like irl and you get Gem's brashness, lack of moral sense and readiness to dig through guts of still living things

#spot says stuff #rw #oc tag #ive been thinkin about it these past few days. the Ancients are pretty close to just seeing themselves as bags made of flesh carrying-#-organs and veins and such. especially in lower circles dead bodies arent such Big Things- its socially accepted even though it still-#-carries mind deteriorating effects. normalization of horrible things dont make the horrible things suddenly good basically #imagine the ages of the black plague. dead bodies and deathly sick people littering the streets became the norm. it was still horrible #so both the Ancient people and the Iterators have different relationship to gore and death than us because they are submerged in it #and if you dont watch yourself it will affect the development of a person in a horrid enough way that one ends up like Gem

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nocomforthere · 1 year ago

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Sometimes I’m in a momentary panic of “oh fuck I don’t wanna age” and then I remember that hell yeah I do. I wanna be one of those people who go to pride events n shit, that are old enough to be the mom to anyone there, and be giving hugs like the guys in those videos.

Tryna be a helpful little role model for the youngins, so I gotta look the part. You feel me? Need a little costume