#not constantly getting into fights with people doesn’t mean he’s averse to it

[kaiba-cave]

“Phoenix Wright is averse to physical confrontation and only uses harsh words” are we all playing the same game here? Phoenix Wright is ready to throw hands at any time. He just has self control (usually). 😤

[iamnmbr3]

I've been reading a lot of drarry fics lately and one of them got me wondering. In a hypothetical world where everything was pretty much the same but Harry and Draco did end up together, would Ron and Hermione accept their relationship even if begrudgingly or would they be antagonistic about it? And if they didn't accept it, with your perspective on canon Harry do you think he would choose Draco or his friends? 🤔

This is a fascinating question. (Btw huge shoutout to you and all the lovely people who send me so many interesting questions and observations).

So first off there's the question of whether Ron & Hermione would accept their relationship. (To some extent of course this depends on the context of the Golden Trio's relationship at that point; for example, if they've drifted apart or something then things might be different.)

But let's assume they all stay close and remain each other's found family as we see in the books. In that case, I actually think they probably would accept the relationship. Ron stood on a broken leg at the age of 13 and told Sirius that if he wanted to kill Harry he'd have to kill all three of them. And we see they have both risked their lives for Harry time and time again. They even followed him into a deadly Fiendfyre blaze even though neither was enthusiastic about saving Draco or Goyle.

These two have been ride or die for Harry since the age of 11. They love him. They might not agree with his relationship with Draco and they might well think that Draco is using Harry or that the relationship will end badly, but I don't think they would abandon Harry over it.

Now, Harry would probably worry about what they might think. Hermione was called a mudblood by Draco and tortured in his living room. Ron was bullied constantly by him and his brother was permanently maimed because of Draco's actions. He might worry that his friends might not understand or might be very angry. But I also think he trusts Ron and Hermione especially after all they've been through by the end of book 7.

I think Harry is someone with great force of will and determination who is not easily swayed from why he believes and is willing to defy people over those beliefs. At the same time he's someone who tends to be conflict averse with his friends. But only to a point. I mean, he sure wouldn't let the Draco thing go during book 6 despite Ron & Hermione's urging. I think if he loved Draco he would fight to be with him. And I think Ron & Hermione would not turn their backs on him over it. Ron probably says something to the effect of since he already had to go on the worst camping trip ever while on the run from a murderous maniac there’s no point in dropping Harry now.

Also, I think first he'd become friends with Draco before actually starting a relationship (even tho Ron & Hermione might start suspecting where this is going) so that would give him time to introduce the concept and start easing them into it. And they'd probably express reservations which Harry would either dispute or just kinda ignore. I think it'd take a long time for them to be truly won over though.

The person who's most worried is probably Draco. I think he'd be convinced that openly being with him would end up ruining Harry's life by permanently tarnishing Harry’s image and destroying his relationships with his friends. I think he would have a lot of anguish and guilt over any tensions that arose due to him and I think he might even try to convince Harry to end things with him bc of it and then he’d really try to get Harry’s friends to tolerate him for Harry’s sake.

As for what Harry would do if his friends made him choose. I think if he truly loved Simone he would put them first. I also think he’d choose the people/person who didn’t force him to choose. If Ron or Hermione turn their backs on him then I think there are already other tensions in that scenario and it’s a situation where the friendship doesn’t survive the war. Like maybe Ron and Hermione don’t work out long term, Ron regresses to his worst impulses and becomes consumed by jealousy of Harry’s fane and bitterness over feelings of inferiority and then the last straw is Harry getting together with Draco Malfoy of all people and they have a falling out. But yeah. I don’t really see it in canon. Ron and Hermione don’t like Draco but they don’t deeply hate him because he hasn’t done anything especially awful to them. Sure they dislike and distrust him and have a lot of negative feels about him. But they love Harry way more than they dislike Draco. They probably worry Harry is making a bad choice. But they don’t abandon him.

[torturedblue]

Part 2 of endless Disaster Twin parallels, the not so fun version

Part 1, the fun version

Considering the series shows Donnie coming off as autistic, he’s portrayed that way much more in fan art and fanfics, etc. We often see it in fan portrayals through an aversion to touch or his senses getting overwhelmed, etc. In the show I noticed Leo actually has a consistent aversion to anything with a gross texture too: like in the first episode when they’re all sliding down Draxum’s vines and he’s tripping over himself, the only one bothered by them “I hate this!”

He also starts flailing in a panic after a worm jumps on his face (and do I even need to bring up how the texture of worms ain’t all that enjoyable let alone on your face), recoils when that evil Hidden City massage guy pours hair serum all over his head, and he’s the most visibly repulsed when Raph gets trash all over them in the beginning of Battle Nexus: New York. So on multiple occasions he comes off as pretty texture or germ averse as well

Both also have insecurity issues about their role to the team: “If mystics can do everything I can but better then why would you guys even need me?” “I’m nothing without them!”

Ironically, in Many Unhappy Returns, Splinter thinks Leo doesn’t know what he’s doing and isn’t taking the mission seriously, saying he should’ve brought Purple. But in the same episode during fights with Shredder Donnie’s seen texting on his phone half of the time. Which is also very parallel to Leo making quips in the beginning instead of helping fight like Donnie and the others

In that same fashion, Donnie’s also goofiest when everyone’s acting serious in Insane in the Mama Train, while Leo’s the unserious one in the following episodes. Another role reversal from their norm

The show also portrays these two as feeling the most affected by Splinter’s history of emotionally distant parenting. Donnie constantly talks about his unmet need for parent-aged-adult approval/validation, and Leo shows his struggle in a more Leo-like way, constantly finding father figure connections in other people like Jupiter Jim and The Dunk. He also rejects/roasts Splinter a lot too, which seems more like a form of overcompensation; acting like he doesn’t totally need or crave Splinter’s attention. The exact opposite of Donnie’s methods. “No! I’m not going back to what’s-his-rat.”

“He’s my all-time favorite actor/role model/father figure!”

“That eccentric billionaire, who was kind of a surrogate father figure to me, has shown me a version of myself I don’t like.”

Leo acts like he doesn’t pine for his affection. I’m sure he sees the way Donnie openly, desperately goes after it when it’s offered and then gets crushed even harder with disappointment (ahem Turtle-dega Nights). No way Leo’s opening himself up to that. I mean come on how sad is the moment when Splinter says they should do something together and Mikey is so eager to jump on the opportunity before it gets taken away, only for Donnie to have to pull him aside and remind him it’s usually some kind of trick or he’s likely possessed? Just for Mikey to immediately respond, “You’re right, I always fall for this!” Ouch. Honestly considering Mikey’s empathy and emotional maturity in mind, the reason both he and Raph seem to handle Splinter’s lack of attention so well is probably also because in addition Raph became a second parent himself, and taking on that role like Splinter, he knows from his own experience that even though their dad doesn’t show it in the ways they wish he would, of course he loves them and what he does do to take care of them as a parent proves that

I think the parallels and direct contrasts between how Leo and Donnie show their dissatisfaction in their relationship with Splinter is probably the most developed and interesting one to me 💔

I mean Leo’s the only one who would actually say something like this to Splinter and you can’t tell me there’s not some deep-seated resentment in the way he looks and the way he says it…

So yeah. There’s the sad edition of Disaster Twins parallels. Let’s all cry together 😃

[egginthepit]

Got into playing Alaris recently and so here I am introducing my MC Maena:

Don’t really know where to begin with her, just starting to really form her personality. She’s definitely extroverted but like in a pretty chill way. She’s not afraid to go and talk to people, she also can actively seek out someone’s attention, but she’s also pretty comfortable with her own company.

She loves all kinds of plants like her mom but she’s got special interest in mushrooms. The fungi just appeal to her for some reason. She likes a good challenge every now and again but she does tend to involve herself in people’s business when she really shouldn’t or doesn’t have to. It’s her sense of justice that gets her into situations sometimes, she can’t stand bullies and will make it known to anyone within her vicinity

Likes: the color blue, rocks, mushrooms, and forget-me-nots

Dislikes: incredibly loud noises (think fireworks or a rock concert), hot summer days, extravagant flirting

Her current opinions of the different LI:

Kayn: These two got off on the wrong foot after the first encounter. Now Maena isn’t usually averse to people being in her personal space but with Kayn’s flirting added on top of it she got really wary immediately. Things did smooth over later on but it took a hot minute. Now she sees them as the perfect person to tease. They tease back of course but that’s just a given. Why dish it if you can’t take it right?

Druk: She sees Druk as rather reliable/dependable. He’s probably the first person she’d go to if she needed physical protection. Sort of sees him as an older brother figure.

Fenir: Do not get her started. She finds him incredibly fascinating. She isn’t quite sure what draws her to him (it was definitely the hair and eyes at first. She LOVES the color blue) but she does know his presence is comforting to her. Would probably love sitting down with him and asking him questions about the books he’s read. She likes to read but loves it more when people talk about how they felt or interpreted a piece of literature.

Etza: Sees them as a sort of mentor. However, tries her best not to depend on them too much since she feels that, like how she feels being a healer sometimes, having people constantly depend on you can become draining and stressful. So she just likes to drop by their office and ask about their day before skipping off to some other daily task or event.

Kuna’a: It is on sight for this guy. He is the main cause of her most recent woes of getting her personal space invaded. Once again, she doesn’t mind people being in her space, what she DOES mind is when absolute strangers with dubious intent manhandle her. She’s going to have to duke it out with him first before she forms any sort of relationship with him. And by that I mean at least one swing at his face.

Aisa: They are a mystery to her in a way that fascinates her. Despite her initial response of “I will fight you for putting me to sleep when I was owed answers, you jackass” she sort of felt as if they were… lonely. Now she just wants to befriend them and see what’s going on there. Everyone needs a friend, even if they insist on having nothing to do with you. Maena will be your friend one way or another, Aisa, just get used to it.

[wisteria-lodge]

badger primary + rapid fire/actor bird secondary

Hi! I’ve passively loved this system for a couple of years now but it’s only now that I’ve discovered that you actually do real people sorts! Anyway, I am pretty sure of being a Snake primary, but I’ll have you be the judge of that.

My Dad is a double Snake, however, my Mum I think is a Badger/Lion and this obviously creates a lot of conflict between them. I really care about both of them and though me & dad understand each other better on a fundamental level, he can also be quite a harsh and manipulative person (he has the typical Snake secondary thing where he tells you whatever you want to hear until you get close to him or he’s exhausted enough  to let the masks drop, and at that point he becomes quite harsh, which my Badger/Lion mum does NOT like, and she especially doesn’t like how “fake” he is), and my Mum always reacted very negatively to my behaving like him. 

A Double Snake and and Badger Lion could easily have periods of looking very similar, and very in sync, and then just… circumstances change and they couldn’t be more different. That’s a tricky one to navigate. So you’ve got a bit of cultural negativity surrounding Snake secondary, noted. 

So I kind of spent most of my life feeling torn because the two people I cared about the most had very opposing expectations of my personality

Definitely getting inklings of a Loyalist primary (Badger or Snake.) 

my Mum’s love in particular felt very conditional even though she was always very supportive of all my intellectual endeavors.

I spent the first 18-ish years of my life with “saying whatever I need to get what I want” as my primary strategy in life 

Definitely sounds quite Snake secondary (sounds a lot like your Dad’s Snake.) 

 and constructing a “cool, popular girl” personality that would give me enough social capital to get whatever I want.

Oooh, have we got some Bird secondary going on? Because this sounds like it could be Actor Bird. The very conscious way you went about building “Cool, Popular Girl” (even using words like “constructing”) and fact that this persona has a name, probably had a costume, and is purpose-built for a specific environment, not a specific person... sounds very Bird.

What I wanted, though, wasn’t anything particularly ambitious: I’m very conflict averse so I made shit up to avoid conflict. 

I associate this with Snake and Bird, the two “I move” secondaries. They’re water, flowing around obstacles. Lions and oddly Badgers are far more likely to pick fights. 

I wanted to be have strong “ride or die” friendships with people I could protect and who could protect me in turn (I first wrote “group of friends” but I now realize that I kind of struggle with groups of people - I just never have the feeling of being part of a group, just having ties with individual people, so I guess I want to be part of a group in the sense of having ties of affection and loyalty with several people who also have them with each other).

This is such heavily Snake primary-coded language, that I’m kinda wondering if that’s on purpose, and you’re looking for a specific answer from me… :) 

However, because what I got from my mum and, quite honestly, the media I liked was basically “my personality=villain.” I tended to seek out other people perceived as “villains” as some way because I felt that they would accept me more easily. 

I wish it weren’t the case, but you’re right, that’s a common thing. Especially if you’re a Double Snake or a Snake Bird, which I think are your two most likely sortings right now. 

I also really hated people who treated their friends badly or arrogantly and tended to bully them 

I mean that’s the human thing, but it’s definitely something that would bother a Loyalist (Snake or Badger primary) a LOT. 

there was this one swotty girl who was constantly looking down at her friends and treating them badly, and I just decided to make her life living hell because I was so morally affronted by it. 

I’d love to know exactly what your strategies were, because that would tell me a lot about your secondary. But there does seem to be a suggestion that there was a Mean-Girls-stye *plan* here, which kind of makes me think Bird. 

Another friend also abandoned us and found another friend group where everyone was basically in love with him and he was using them for attention seeking purposes and I also reacted to this quite harshly.

“Abandon” is a very dramatic word to describe a friend [entering a slight fuckboy phase?] and switching friend groups. 

The thing is, I also tended to abandon some people, which doesn’t clash well a Snake primary, I guess? One of my HS friend groups were really quite asshole-ish, and I ended up ditching them, but that was because I felt like they were treating other close people (of theirs, not mine) badly? 

Okay. So here’s what I think is going on. You’re a Badger. Hear me out. 

Yes, I think that your Badger looked like a Snake for a good long while. But you’re close to your Dad, and your Dad’s a Snake, and young Badgers will do that, look like authority figures or beloved people in their community. It really hurts you that your parents are not a united unit, not a community. A Snake would have an easier time just having separate relationships with each of them, even if they didn’t get along. Same thing with your friend that switched friend groups. That’s a very Badger way of looking at the situation. The Snake thing would be, well - he’s your friend, and it doesn’t really matter what group he’s him. But a Badger would want him to stay in the better group, the group that was better for him. 

You hate it when people mistreat their group. You hate bullies (Captain America style.) That’s all Badger. You also talk about multiple, conflicting groups of friends, and that whole “Cool Popular Girl” - I mean, it’s not exclusive to Badger primaries, bit it is definitely a very common way for High School Badger primaries to present. 

I had also decided to start taking school and stuff more seriously and I just kind of felt like their affection would be conditional on my bad bitch persona, got scared and ran? It was a long time ago, I don’t really remember.

This is Bird secondary thing. Getting “suck” in a persona, and worrying that people only like you / you only have value because of it. 

The turnpoint came when I met my first serious boyfriend, who is definitely a Snake secondary but I’m honestly not sure if he’s a Snake or a Bird primary.

The so far elaborately constructed web of lies and reputation building that was my life led to the downfall of our relationship, because it combined with some external circumstances made trust difficult

You have a complicated relationship with Snake secondaries, but you yourself are a Bird. “Construction,” “reputation building,” the web metaphor… it sounds like a Bird. That’s just not how Snake secondaries think. 

what I somehow got out of it was a deep fear of betrayal and abandonment 

and possibly Burned your primary a little bit (probably another reason you’re picking Snake for yourself, Burnt Badgers look like Snakes. 

and the impression that if I wanted people to love me and stay by my side, I should be very open about who I am (so that I’m sure that it’s me that they’re loyal to and not their personal image of me), and just try to be the kind of kind, morally upstanding person that people couldn’t fault for anything.

These are two mutually exclusive goals. If you’re totally honest and open about who you are (the Lion secondary thing) - then you will absolutely ruffle some feathers and rub people the wrong way. It’s a totally different approach than being the “kind [person] that people couldn’t fault for anything.” (Which is more of a badger thing.)

Forcing myself to act like this led to a plethora of mental health issues because being very open about who I am is just… not who I am? 

You also just set yourself for failure. There is literally no way you could have achieved what you set out to achieve. And how is “forcing” yourself to act a certain way more open and genuine? It sounds like you built a Badger secondary model out of fear, and just sat in it for a while.

And it was very anxiety-inducing for me. Even now, when my mental health is much better and I’ve settled into who I am, I like showing off my playfulness and wit and keeping the rest of my personality behind a neutrally charming mask.

And that’s… good? Normal? That’s also very Bird. Just have a charming, Badger-flavored ‘customer service’ face that you wear as you go through the world. Go into Neutral when you feel comfortable. (Birds go into Neutral very much like Snakes do, but the change usually isn’t as dramatic.) 

Also, my success until that point was based on a lot of improvisation and quick thinking, and while I kept that to a point, it also always led to a bunch of moral panic because in my head, being this kind of person is what gets you abandoned.

Rapid-Fire Bird. There’s a little bit of your Bird coming through here, in that you want a foundation, you don’t want to just do the Snake thing. 

Anyway, I was a psychology major (I always liked understanding how people tick and how to get them to see or do what  you want them to without having to explicitly argue with them or convince them)

Very Bird. 

but I felt alienated with the “bleeding heart helping profession!!” people around me.

I am not at all surprised that the profession skews Badger secondary, and that it did not feel at all good being around all those Badger secondaries... when you’ve got such a messy relationship with your Badger model. 

I eventually settled for doing research on children growing up in harsh circumstances who develop externalizing symptoms, but it was just because throughout my life I met a lot of people like that and a lot of my close people are “misunderstood” because they sometimes behave harshly due to their harsh upbringings, so I wanted to vindicate them in a way, as well as vindicate myself because I cared about explaining why people sometimes act less than morally and yet can still be loyal and worthy of love and not automatically “bad people”.

I love this for you. It seems like this would just fit into your primary so nicely. You’ve got a category of people, who are your people and you’re going to vindicate them, and protect them - especially from other people seeking to dehumanize them. It’s so Badger, but in that lovely universal way. 

In the meanwhile, I kind of developed a Badger primary model, I guess, in that I do dedicate a lot of my time to helping people

… or you were a Badger all along…

 and being kind and open and inviting

yeah, that has absolutely nothing to do with being a Badger primary. I’m serious. That’s just your neutrally-charming mask. 

but whenever this is put to the test my Snake loyalties always always come first. 

I honestly haven’t seen this so far. The only individuals you’ve talked about are your parents (who bothered you by not being a group, your fuckboy friend (who left the group) and your first boyfriend, who you broke up with. 

And I also still always get morally outraged when people are disloyal to their close ones or treat them badly, 

This your primary talking. (your why, what gets you out of bed in the morning)

whereas the general kindness and the work I put in towards making sure the world is a kinder, fairer place is just something that I do, no emotional attachment to it, and I don’t expect other people to do it at all.

This is your badger secondary model talking. (how you go about doing things, how you present to the world.) Both Badger, yes. EXTREMELY different. 

I honestly don’t think a lot about morality, aside from the generic “be kind and try not to fuck people over unless you really have to”

I mean, you did just say. “I also still always get morally outraged when people are disloyal to their close ones or treat them badly.” I think you just must not consider that sort of thing… really morality, in some way. But Badgers get their morality from their group. Their highest moral good is to make sure the group is doing okay. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that. 

rationally constructing a system of morality or trying to arrive at some kind of internal hunch both feel kind of empty to me? 

Because you’re not a Bird or Lion primary? Of course it does. 

Now, as for the secondary, my knee jerk reaction is to say Bird because I’m in research, and ever since childhood I’ve always been a very logical person. I’ve eventually learned to be quite systemic in my problem solving process because I need it for research, but what I like about this career is the problem solving aspect of it, like you have a goal (for example, an effective psychosocial information or the acquisition of a certain kind of information) and you have to figure out how to get to that information. Basically the most efficient way of getting from A to B.

 I make sure to be systemic and thorough and analytical because it’s the most surefire way to get things right in my line of work, but I also take pleasure in kind of categorizing and putting information in order, and connecting it along different lines. I also really care about proper methodology and not half-assing things to get the results that you want, because I think that the results that you want are the results that are accurate and useful in the real world, not the ones that make you look better.

Wait, am I a double Snake?

Okay, now you’ve got ME worried - I must have really screwed up explaining something, because how can you write something THAT bird secondary, love systems as much as you do… and arrive at the conclusion that you’re a Snake? 

What I know for sure is that I absolutely do not identify with “knowledge for knowledge’s sake”, but I do have a really broad criteria for what “useful knowledge” is because I’m capable of thinking quite abstractly, so I can see the utility of almost anything.

That is very, very, very Bird. I’m starting to see the problem though. “Knowledge for knowledge’s sake” is an older phrase that owes more to the parent system than I would like, but it does essentially mean “no knowledge is wasted, the most useful way to solve problems is to preemptively hoard knowledge.” 

What I am really also passionate about is presenting things in the right way. I love writing, and I love public speaking, because I get to put myself in the other person’s shoes, imagine how they will “receive” what I’m saying and then tailor my presentation or short story or whatever to lead them to the conclusion that I want them to reach. But I dislike manipulating people with this: the conclusions that I want them to reach are the ones that I personally consider accurate, not the ones that benefit me.

First thing, you sound like an absolutely incredible person, and by pretty much any metric you want to use, a *good* person. (And no, that’s not because the way you’ve written this is manipulating me. This is my little game, I’m good at it.) 

What I can tell you that tailoring a presentation to an audience - that’s just a Rapid-Fire Bird who knows their stuff doing trick-shots, and I bet it’s beautiful to see. You are delivering information in a way that the audience can properly take in, because you know both your audience and your information well enough to do that, and that is incredible. 

My knee-jerk reaction is always to improvise, but I feel like this makes me come off as a “fake” person if I change my mind on what I said later (I change my mind A LOT), so I try not to say what sounds good in the moment because it will bite me in the ass later and lead to a reputation of a flaky, fake person, I guess?

Not 100% sure what you mean here. Changing your mind… is just a personality trait, it doesn’t really have to do with why you do things or how you do them. I think you would call tailoring your presentations improvisation, and I really wouldn’t. It’s not improvisation, it’s just looks like improvisation because you’ve come up with a hundred different ways to say this thing, and then on the day you can pick the one that works the best. If you had to do the same thing, but not in your preferred subject matter/environment, it would be basically impossible.

But I also really pride myself on my logical and thorough assessments of situations, and I tend to like thinking things through when I get the chance for it, often postponing decisions until I’ve thought about all the eventual longterm consequences of all the courses of action I might take. 

Bird. 

What trips me up is my trauma-induced fixation with being “honest” and avoiding “lies”, which are more about their eventual inefficacy and worthlessness and less about their moral rightness or wrongness (and also because manipulative=bad, as my Mum spent all of my life saying). My line of thinking is, “Things built on lies or self-delusion always crash down and burn, and it is right that they do so that more stable and honest things can take place”

What are you building on lies? If anyone’s work has a solid foundation, it’s yours. And as we’ve previously discussed, even IF you were doing your mom’s brash Lion secondary thing, wouldn’t that be in a lie in itself, because it’s not your natural presentation, it’s something you need to force yourself to do? 

but I also kind of use it to do shady shit - like I don’t feel morally wrong in hitting up a man in a relationship, because if he really cares about his woman the only person who’ll get burned is me and if he doesn’t I saved her the trouble of wasting more of her time on him?

This is actually a really interesting aside, because it’s you telling me how you handle a moral issue (that makes it a Primary thing.) 

Is it wrong to hit on a married man? Your answer is No: either you get turned down because he’s staying faithful, and that’s your own personal risk, or he cheats, in which case he’s kind of … dehumanizing himself? And therefore you are doing his partner a favor because she can now get rid of this unhealthy member of her community. There’s a logic there, and it’s a kind of ruthless Badger primary logic. 

So not sure if Snake or Badger secondary?

Bird. 

P.S. After some self-reflection, I realized that I’m probably not a Bird secondary

I’m listening. 

because I really hate following plans and situations where I have to rely on concrete skills and not abstract problem solving terrify me. OTOH I am very proud of my general ability to assess a situation and act appropriately.

Not sure how you’re distinguishing between “concrete skills” and “abstract problem solving.” From what you’ve been telling me, it sounds like you need the concrete skills before you can do the abstract problem solving, as in they work together. 

I’m also known as the person who changes PowerPoint slides in the middle of a conference based on whoever’s speaking before her and adapting her speech accordingly, which freaks the shit out of my coworkers, so I guess any “planning” type is probably out for old me 

That’s the most Rapid Fire Bird thing I ever heard. You made a plan. The PowerPoint and the speech exist. You’re just adapting them on the fly, based on previously-existing knowledge. I’m starting to think that you’re one of those Bird secondaries who is SUCH a loud Bird secondary, that it can be hard to get your head the idea that your skills are skills, and not sort of neutral abilities that everyone has. 

my latent distaste towards being a Snake secondary is my burny oppressive bullshit against anything that’s not “stalwart honesty and consistency” that I’ve been imposing on myself for years.

which I really wish you didn’t feel like you had to. 

Because I do love winging it and just saying whatever’s the most situationally appropriate thing regardless of how much it reflects me and I’ve just been treating any kind of play acting like a recovering alcoholic treats drink so I no longer even remember how it feels anymore lol.

I hope you find a way to play with your Actor Bird, at some point. One more little thing before I sign off though - thinking of actions as “situationally appropriate” is a very Actor Bird secondary thing to do. Snakes don’t go that big. Snakes think - what response do I want from this person, in this moment, and how do I get it? They also constantly reset. Snake secondaries have this “seducer” reputation because they generally are better one-on-one, or in small groups. Even Snake secondary actors will talk about the way they perceive the whole audience as one “person” … it’s all very interesting, but a very different way of approaching the world than the way you do.

[mariajustmary]

An analysis of Aziraphale's Choice

Oh hi! Don’t mind me, doing an analysis of the most over analysed sequence in the fandom. Spoilers ahead. But yeah, you got it, I’m going to talk about Aziraphale’s decision to go to Heaven.

First and foremost, I reject the “adulterated coffee theory”. I believe Aziraphale’s decision was very much his own. The coffee was important, yes, but for a different reason. Gabriel and the other angels (even Muriel!) rejected consuming “gross matter”, all of them, even demons (like when Shax mocks him for consuming food), showed aversion to it. So when the Metatron shows up offering coffee this already sets him as “not like the other angels”. The Metatron is trying to make Aziraphale believe that they respect his earthly ways, that they maybe even admire the connection they have to earth as the manipulative ass they are.

Now, let’s throw into the mix Aziraphale’s self-esteem problems: shortly put, he believes he is not good enough. Not Good enough as in he complies too much with “the bad side”, he lies to his superiors. Not good enough because he is not what Gabriel’s Heaven sees as a perfect angel: he eats, drinks (“You’re drinking wine? But that’s the source of drunkenness!”), he is attached to humans, to earth and to material objects, and most important of all, he loves a demon. He believes he’s “not angel enough”, he was expecting to fall in Job’s episode, he doesn’t believe he is up to the standards of what an angel should be and he spends the rest of his existence trying to compensate for that. 

In their conversation the Metatron says “There are huge plans afoot, enormous projects, and I will need you to run them. You are just the angel for the job.”, here they are taking advantage of  Aziraphale’s insecurities to boost him up, they are the first of the heavenly bosses that treat him like he is worth anything, like he did things right. To him it’s the first time his morals are ever being valued, it’s the first time ever since giving away his sword that he feels like he is enough for Heaven. When listing his qualities the Metatron says things they know Aziraphale values: “You’re a leader, you’re honest, you don’t just tell people what they want to hear.” he believes in kind selfless leadership, he values honesty (despite learning with a certain demon how/when to lie)... the Metatron is painting a picture of Aziraphale that is very flattering for him to hear and the only person who ever came close to doing the same is Crowley.

A note here, I see, as a lot of people pointed out, Nina’s toxic relationship as a parallel to Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven. As Crowley says “We don’t need Heaven and Hell, they’re toxic!”, he came to terms with how bad both institutions are, but Aziraphale didn't. Remember after Nina and Maggie got stuck in the coffee shop Nina received a lot of backlash from her partner and was discounting it on Maggie? Same thing with the two immortal beings. In the first season Heaven shows up more often than they usually do because of the apocalypse and we can see how nervous Aziraphale gets, he is being constantly watched, his actions are under scrutiny. The bandstand fight was after Aziraphale had been to Heaven to tell them about the antichrist and was quickly shut down. Gabriel shows up running at the park and the next scene we have of A/C together is when he refuses to run away with Crowley to Alpha Centauri. Heaven shows up, Aziraphale gets into a sort of relapse mode and they fight. He hasn’t really worked on his trauma in season 2, he was just ignoring them hoping he would never have to face them again.

In these circumstances, when Aziraphale is being confronted by heaven, he sees the love he has for Crowley not as a virtue, but as a fault. I mean, he  fell in love with a demon! How can an angel love someone who is supposed to be evil? That is not angelic, he should only love things of pure love and light. In those moments he forgets all about Crowley’s good deeds, they become small, in a way, because the bad deeds (his and Crowley’s) weigh heavier on Aziraphale’s moral scale when he’s in crisis. His relapse is seeing everything back in black and white. If everything that comes from Hell is bad, how can he love a being that is bad? When he is seeing everything in black and white his love for Crowley becomes a fault. That’s one of the many reasons he sees Crowley being restored as an angel the best option to ever happen, because, then, he would be loving a being of light and all his moral problems would be solved.

But things aren’t black and white, and Aziraphale is aware of that most of the time (specially after the gravedigging story, I think that was a turning point for him). Crowley can be incredibly kind, as he himself points out. When he starts seeing himself as “an angel who goes along with heaven as far as he can” is when the foundations to “their own side” are laid. Later on he realises his moral is more similar to Crowley’s than heaven’s, but it’s still so hard for him to admit it because there’s a little voice on the back of his mind saying that only bad things come from Hell and that it is wrong to question Heaven’s decisions. Then, we get to a point that he seems to have accepted that despite everything he loves Crowley. This means that Heaven isn’t the source of all good things as they want angels to believe. Humanity teaches him that, too. In the present he trusts Crowley with his existence, he cares about that demon more than anything else and he believes it can be reciprocal. We are at a point where Aziraphale knows Crowley’s presence grounds him, that he wants him near and he stopped fighting against wanting that, he made peace with his feelings for Crowley.

Back with the Metatron, they know Aziraphale won’t consider any proposals from Heaven if they don’t consider Crowley into the equation. They pretty much acknowledges that by saying “I’ve been looking back over a number of your… previous exploits and I see in quite a few of them you formed a de facto partnership with the demon Crowley.”, it’s only after the Metatron offers to restore Crowley to “full angelic status” that Aziraphale begins to actually listen. But I think they knew Crowley would say no, his comments about Crowley’s choice make me believe that. They say “Ah, well, always did want to go his own way.”, subtly trying to make him believe that he had been fully rejected, that not going to heaven equals not loving Aziraphale. Which is actually the most absurd thing they can say about Crowley, because he’s spent both seasons talking about “our own side”, saying they should run away together. Going back to Heaven is the only thing he won’t do, and good for you Crowley for establishing your boundaries. Then the Metatron adds “Always asking damn fool questions, too.”, showing that Croweley’s questions actually bothered him, that is undesirable having someone asking as many questions as he did,  they prefer Crowley not going to Heaven.

Actually, this was such a crazy proposal. For one, it weakens the consequences of going against Heaven for all the other angels. Sure, you ask questions, criticise, you become a demon, but if you’re good enough, or maybe you have the right contact, then you can be restored back again. Heaven rules under the threat of sending the divergents to Hell, making the angels fear and loathe the other side is how they keep the status quo standing. You’d have the serpent of Eden around your angels, the expert in temptations. It doesn’t sound like a good deal for them. So, this is why offering to make Crowley an angel was just a way to make Aziraphale believe they were truly considering making accommodations for the pair of them, that they were willing to change how things are done. This is another smart way to pull them apart, because now Crowley will be the one saying no to Aziraphale, he’s the one denying him this. He is made to be the one pulling them apart, just like the Metatron says he always does. The Metatron meticulously pulled them apart.

I believe Aziraphale chose to go to Heaven to change it, it makes sense for him, but I also believe that Gabriel and Beelzebub’s arc played an important role here. If Aziraphale doesn’t accept the position, then who’s gonna be the boss? Michael? That angel who threatened to erase anybody who helped Gabriel from the Book of Life. That’s not just thrown in there for nothing. Can you imagine the fear of having the existence of someone who brightens up your day erased, never to be remembered? And the other way around, how lonely Crowley would be without Aziraphale. It’s better to have their past memories for themselves than no memories at all. Aaaaand, Hell also threatened to pursue Beelzebub, former Lord of Hell. Why wouldn’t they go after Crowley too? In this point here, Aziraphale is absolutely right, how are they going to spend the rest of their existence running away? Better to go up and fix things. But it’s naive of him to believe he can fix everything with good intentions and a kind heart (which is very in character for him). 

Sure, there are some rotten angels in heaven, but The Voice of God said things went wrong and wanted everything different, so it must mean The Almighty is good after all. But here he chooses to forget Job’s story. God was betting with Satan, letting children get murdered. God is not the version of good Aziraphale imagines them to be, and I think the only way for him to confront this is to be up close with the rottenness of Heaven. If the flood didn’t do it for him, nor Job’s ordeal this is probably the only way to get him out of denial. 

Crowley, on the other hand, learned all that with the fall, so it’s frustrating to him to see Aziraphale choosing Heaven over, and over and getting his spirit crushed when things were not the way he expected them to be, despite Crowley telling him so. They both know Aziraphale still has hopes about the Almighty’s goodness, but Crowley gets hurt the hardest when he thinks Aziraphale sees him as broken, that maybe Crowley was a “project” of his to fix all along, that he was trying to improve a demon. What hurt him so badly was not attributing Crowley’s goodness to his morals, but something that happens despite his demonic essence maybe due to his time around humans and Aziraphale himself. 

Now I’m going to speculate more than analyse: I don’t think the Metatron considered the possibility of Aziraphale being against the Second Coming. They don’t take into account Aziraphale’s love for humanity, they don’t understand the concept of caring so deeply about beings with such tiny lifespans, just like the Archangels. I don’t think they can conceive the idea of caring for humans individually, of not seeing them as means to an end (to triumph over Hell).

I don’t think Aziraphale was directly threatened by the Metatron during their conversation. I’ve seen somebody here making a very good point that maybe the conversation of Aziraphale and the Metatron we see might not be flashbacks at all, but him constructing a narrative of what happened to protect Crowley from some threat. I agree that’s a possibility, but I don’t see it as the most likely one because of Aziraphale’s joy when telling Crowley about the possibility of having him restored as an angel. But I might be wrong. We have to ✨wait and see✨. 

Then, working from the point of view that the Metatron manipulated Aziraphale thinking he is naive, they probably also think that Aziraphale averted the war because he thought he was doing the right thing for Heaven, not to save the silly little humans nor to stay with the demon he loves. In this interpretation, he can be seen as a naive angel who loves and cares way too much, way too pliable to avoid falling prey to a demon. Even Shax thinks that, she called him Crowley’s pet. They are wrong, of course.

So maybe… big maybe here, they don’t actually see it coming when Aziraphale starts to thwart Heaven’s plans for the Second Coming, thinking he would be way too soft to stand against Heaven on his own (because now he doesn’t have Crowley by his side). He will have to make a plan of his own, he will have to be the one to convince Crowley to join forces, and, until then, it was always the other way around. There won’t be any space for indecision, Aziraphale will have to choose a side he won’t be able to back from later. After averting the Second Coming from the inside he won’t be trusted by Heaven anymore. And I think his hopes of doing good in Heaven will be shattered really early on.

[sunfyresrider]

Vent post because I’m losing it yall:

I’ll be Frank, I’m very aware I’m not as good as others. I reread my fics and I notice consistent issues. I always am lacking in something I deem important in a story and I also have people constantly telling me when it’s fucked up. (Idk why they have to be rude instead of just giving constructive criticism but I guess that’s the type of people I attract) And it just feels very pointless.

I think I’ve stated before (I think on A03 I put a warning and ik I posted abt it on my other acc) that I’m new to writing and not by any means well educated. Literally everything I know I had to learn/teach myself on my own terms SO of course I’m not going to be as good as an English major!!! this is just fun practice until I can afford a proper education but I’m getting harassed for being shit which is uncalled for in my opinion. I think I deserve kindness even if my stuff doesn’t meet your standards. I’m not a combative person so if you just tell me what I’m doing wrong I’ll fix it without push back. I’m also a super tiny acc with barely any followers so why tf youre being mean to me I DONT KNOW.

I’m a sensitive person so negativity is too much for my small brain to handle. I literally can’t fight back, I can’t handle conflict, I’m completely averse to meanness which Ik is really immature but I can’t just fix that like a light switch so I’m not messing w it anymore. Long ass explanation and vent post to say I’m taking a break bc ppl are mean and I’m a pussy and my writing is starting to embarrass me.

Lastly, here’s my indoor cat with his feral outdoor boyfriend😸 Fun fact: my cat spotty (left) only has three working legs! The fourth has paralysis but he moves just fine<3

[fenartoftheserotonin]

Baul Headcanons!

Next up is grumpy older bro proto-vergil, Baul!

Baul is not the greatest at expressing emotions, mainly because of his normal mood is just grumpy and anger

So Modeus translates Baul’s meanings since he is the more empathetic twin.

When they were younger, Baul would fist-fight any demon that insulted Modeus.*

Baul specializes in combat that gears more for strength and brute force. Essentially, he is a tank.

He will not understand any slang that was not used in the medieval ages

Jokes will fly over his head

Baul will bite into ice cream like it wasn’t a cold desert. Only happens when Modeus and/or Patty gives him a strawberry sundae

Baul is the most likely to curse

Patty started a swear jar for when Baul [or Dante] curses while she’s over at the office

Baul chose his human disguise because he does not want to be seen, which doesn’t work because of his outfit. Those pauldrons are’t hiding you.

Baul isn’t very talkative around people that do not know him. He will only respond when he is spoken to.

He might go on a rant or two about Sparda bc reasons

When Baul gets angry, He gets very angry

Enough to where he’ll punch down a tree.

He may not show it or express it well, Baul genuinely cares about Modeus.

Baul will guard outside the changing room when Modeus wants to try on new clothes and such.

Baul is aroace, he prefers platonic connections over anything else. He doesn’t get that sex is not just for procreation but he doesn’t complain. He is not sex aversed but it will only be with someone whom he’s had a strong connection with. He’s just not interested in relationships of any kind aside from platonic relationships

Baul does not like many sweet things but he will eat sundaes because Modeus likes them.

He may have learned how to bake while no one was in the office.

Baul does not really like hugs but he will let Modeus hug him. Anyone else, HISSSSSSSSSSS

Unfortunately, he cannot say no to Patty. 

After the events of the anime, Baul sort of mellowed out about wanting Sparda’s soul from Dante but he expects a duel or two from Dante every now and then,

Baul is ambidextrous 

Once Baul learned of Vergil’s existence and what he did during the events of DMC 3, he flipped a table. No explanation, he just flipped a table

Baul hates being called Milkman. 100% will throw hands with Dante every time he’s called that.

Insert property damage here

Baul likes to drink coffee

Baul gets confused about the concept of “comfy/relaxing time” but tries it anyway.

He’d personally liked to train when there isn’t anything important needed to be done but he’ll try it because Modeus, Dante and others do it often.

He won’t admit it but he likes wearing sweatshirts and sweatpants

Related to the previous hc: Baul doesn't know how to relax. After years of fighting in the Underworld and now living in the human realm, he had a harder time sitting still and was constantly on edge in early years in the human realm. Later on, he still can't sit still but he can let himself 'relax' to some extent.

Credit to one of my frens on discord: Baul has better control over his anger because he uses it more in battle

Baul hates the smell of citrus fruits, specifically oranges.

He will make a cringe face

He calls s’mores marshmallow sandwiches 

[cupcakeslushie]

In the show Donnie has been canonically confirmed to be autistic I believe and Mikey with ADHD. Did those prove to affect how they were treated or raised in any way? And aside from flopping on people does Donnie still have a bit of a aversion to touch and people who are exceptions? Or does he ignore any uncomfortable feeling he has about anything because he's been through worse and if so how do the turtles help him unlearn these negitive things?

Did Mikey's ADHD ever get him in trouble with big momma and in the battle nexus? I would ask more but I don't want to overload-

Donnie is still autistic, and Draxum did try to “train out” the behavior he didn’t consider warrior-like (God he’s such an asshole in this—and I LIKE canon Draxum 🤣 but I really am making him worse than Shredder at this point). He waited to start the really heavy experiments until Three was older, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t punish him harshly when he “acted foolish”. Draxum would grab and pull Three all the time, either by the arm or he’d use his vines to restrain him where he wanted him. So most of Donnie’s touch aversion here comes from being reminded of that. I am personally of the opinion that Donnie isn’t as so much touch averse in canon—He’s seen constantly touching his family and April and though sometimes he may have a slight grimmace, you can see that he eases into the hug and even initiates a lot of them. I think his hangups are more texture based and that he doesn’t like being caught off guard, which are still present here, and unfortunately, Draxum uses against him in ways we’ll find out. But Donnie does appreciate that his brothers and Splinter give him the option of saying no. It gives him a sense of control over the situation and he finds accepting and initiating contact easy and comforting more often than not, unless it’s a real bad day.

Big Mama was very doting on Mikey, and spoiled him rotten. She got him the best tutors for his education, but Mikey drove almost all of them into quitting except for his martial arts, and art tutors. As a result Mikey has more of a classical art style, and Big Mama puts his paintings all over the lobby of her hotel. But Big Mama is fickle, and after so many years she grows bored enough with him, and sees how strong he’s gotten, that she can’t pass up the opportunity of dropping him into the Nexus. She still gives him treats for his wins, but it’s framed more like prizes to her champion than gifts for her child. Still, Mikey sees them as gifts for doing well, and imagines one day when he wins enough fights, she’ll let him out.

It isn’t until after he’s rescued that he reads up on art therapy, and tries to get back into art. Sadly he finds he doesn’t have the taste for it anymore which devastates him and causes a bout of intense depression…until April suggests that he try a whole new style, something his tutor never covered, and takes him on a tour of the city to see all the coolest street art. In days he’s got most of the lair covered in graffiti.

Mikey does have ADHD, in fact most of his scars come from times where he got distracted in the ring. At night in the barracks he tries to pull from happy memories and beneath the good times spent with Big Mama there’s something else he can’t quite grab hold of, but it comforts him enough for him to keep fighting. On the other hand, Leo remembers almost nothing from Shredder warping his memories so much.

Lastly, Shredder was a harsh taskmaster, very manipulative and told Leo lie after lie to get him to hate Splinter. Leo trained from before sunrise to after sunset, and didn’t talk to many people outside of Shredder’s inner circle of commanders. He was taught a wide range of studies, including war strategy, weaponry, and languages. Shredder was never really…cruel, without reason like Draxum, but if he ever felt Leo was lacking in training or not following his commands to the letter, he would show no mercy. Leo is treated with a lot of respect from most of the foot recruits. Of course some of the older commanders (🤐) aren’t too happy when a literal child is given such a high position of power, but they would never argue with the Shredder.

If you have any more questions please check out the Separated AU tag and my pinned post! I might’ve already answered it!

@lockoutkey @nyxthedragon225, @froggiethelesbian

[raz-b-rose]

TMNT 2k3 character study: Donnie

Donnie is not a pacifist.

I don't know where the fandom got the idea that Donnie is a pacifist and hates fighting from when our boy loves to throw down just as much as his brothers.

Yes Donnie is calmer and pretty laid back compared to his brothers (Leo being the only one that can truly be even close to his energy) but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a fighting spirit.

He can be just as quick as Raph in attack first ask questions later (because these boys just gotta protect each other at the cost of themselves I swear lol),  like with their first encounter with Leatherhead. 

There are a few instantly where he likes to see the best in people (cautiously of course) and tries to talk first, but that doesn't always work out. Like in the “The People’s Choice” he was hoping the space robot was friendly before attacking but didn’t try talking it out again until after Jhanna woke up. 

He has an inquisitive mind and knows that true growth comes from sharing ideas and principles. So he tries to learn from everyone they come across best he can. Like April, Professor Honeycutt, Traximus, ect as well as the various villains. He even builds a unique relationship with Casey, given the lack of anything for them to bond over. He has even learned from his brothers often taking pages out of their books and using their tactics to get the job done. 

He loves learning and understanding, but that doesn't mean he's a pacifist. He can and will defend himself and his brothers. He’s a ninja, and understands that he shouldn't seek violence but he’s not averse to it. 

He actually puts more effort into his ninjutsu than Mikey, working hard to maintain his skills and strength. (He also loves to show off by spinning his bo around like all the time, that I cant find a gif for C’mon)

He is the turtle who can remain calm the best, his panic barely noticeable compared to the others. He thinks quick, precise and gracefully. The Bo being his weapon of choice speaks to his ingenuity and ability to use anything available to him to his advantage. He’s a versatile turtle. 

His calm head has gotten them out of quite a few situations and even his solo fights has helped him survive. He knows when he can win and when to retreat without Leo there to direct him. 

Leo looks to him for strategies constantly as well, asking how they can go about a situation and what's the best solution, especially when machinery is involved. Leo respects and listens to Dons advise all the time. And its always a sweet moment when those two get up to mischief together, being the more responsible turtles. 

Honestly all of them respect his intellect and look to him constantly, but they never forget to thank him and show appreciation for him as well. (leave that ‘they don't appreciate Donnie’ angst behind) 

Now Raph and Donnie...iconic duo. Donnie helps keep Raph calm and Raph helps keeps him focused. And when they both gang up on Mikey, they are hilarious. Also Donnie using Raph’s nicknames for Mikey is just adorable. (chuckle-head, bone-head, ect) True middle child energy.

And it's because of that energy that I feel like the fandom got this idea. Mikey and Raph are very vocal in their fights, and Leo has a quiet aggression. Donnie is easily over looked in these scenes with his calm calculated attacks and 'go with the flow' kinda fighting style. Yeah there are times when he tries to trash talk and be a wise guy like Raph and Mikey it just isn't common enough.

Donnie is smart and understands having a well trained mind and body. He keeps himself in shape, rarely pulling “all nighters” as the fandom likes to headcanon. He’s got that nerdy quick wit that just makes you smile because he’s trying so hard. He’s sweet and makes friends easy, one of those extroverts that aren’t high energy. And honestly when compared to Leo, he’s even more patient! 

With that patience he has a wonderful relationship with Mikey. They can just sit and enjoy things together, like games and heckling from a distance. Both nerdy in different ways just bouncing that energy off of each other. Donnie was honestly probably the one keeping Mikey the most occupied during their contained stay in Aprils place. Donnie however isn't above teasing Mikey as well without Raph’s involvement. 

Donnie can and will fight and will use his brains to do it. He’s a smart one and works great under pressure. He’s a great Brother and Ninja. As SAINW proved, he’s the backbone to the family, and its his easy going nature that lets him flow with his brothers and keep familial peace. 

[the-iceni-bitch]

The Bitch is Back

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x fem!Reader (OTP)

Words: ~2.8k

Summary: You run into Ransom’s cunt of an ex again and it goes about as well as expected.

Warnings: explicit language, Ransom looking like a whole snack, fluff, that blonde bitch, Linda being a cunt, extremely abusive language and allusions to past emotional abuse, more angst than I had intended, my undying love for these two idiots, too many feelings

A/N: I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her! Sorry everyone, the angst took over this one and what I had intended to be another fun romp a la Girl Fight turned into a pit of emotion that I couldn’t dig myself out of. I’m gonna go cry.

“Baby, you know we can just go home, right?” Ransom gave you a tired but indulgent smile when he looked at you, tucking his fingers under your chin and tilting your head back so he could look into your eyes while you swallowed thickly.

“No, I’m not gonna give your mother the satisfaction of seeing me duck out of this thing.” You got that stubborn set to your jaw that told him to quit trying to take care of you, because proving to his bitch mother you could actually make it through one of these stupid events without causing some kind of scene was more important than your comfort right now.

You felt bile rise in your throat and swallowed it again. This was fucking ridiculous, you weren’t even on a boat, just the dock. But you still felt like you were going to vomit at any second, watching the motion of the boats rocking on the water making your gut lurch. It almost made you wonder if Linda knew about your stomach’s aversion to being on water when she had insisted on the two of you attending their fucking sailing club’s final regatta. 

“Here we go, one scopolamine patch.” You could’ve kissed Anne when she handed it to you, grateful that Ben’s boat was moored in this marina so you didn’t have to spend the rest of this stupid thing constantly swallowing your own vomit. “Why didn’t you bring your own?”

“She said she’d be fine if she didn’t actually go on the boats.” Ransom ignored the glare you shot him when he talked to Anne over your head, rubbing your arm softly when he pulled you closer to him.

“Did I tell you how much I hate that you two get along?” You frowned when Ransom pressed his lips to your hair, slapping the patch on your neck and sighing when you felt your stomach start to settle.

Anne just laughed at you, shaking her head as she sipped on her cocktail and leaned against Ben. The fact that this guy actually treated you like you deserved did a lot to endear him to her, even if he was an asshole sometimes.

You had been worried at first about introducing Anne to Ransom’s idiot friends, no matter how much they had grown on you. But your friend could hold her own, her no nonsense attitude endearing her to the girls as she chewed out Logan for some dumbass comment while Dylan and Chaz just chuckled that now there were two of you.

This was one of the few things that you actually felt out of your element with, since you could not give a single fuck about sailing with your stupid seasickness. But you could tell Ran was enjoying himself, and every fucking time he got near the water he looked so fucking windswept and dreamy so it was well worth the nausea. That was all gone now though, the scopolamine making you feel just the tiniest bit drowsy and pleasantly warm while Ran pulled you tight against his chest as he whistled for his team’s boat between nuzzling himself into your hair with pleased little hums. Even Linda giving you some vicious side eye couldn’t break you out of your good mood, the warmth of Ransom wrapped around you like a balm for your typical nervous energy. Then you heard Jess mutter an “oh shit” and the sound of a bratty, whiny voice broke right through your pleasant haze and made your spine stiffen.

“Rannie?” That fucking blonde bitch would show up to something like this, just to ruin your day. “I thought that was you. Oh, still with your tramp, I see.”

“Sloane.” His grip around you grew almost painfully tight, growling into your neck as he did his best to take deep breaths. “Don’t you have some puppies to skin, or something?”

You grabbed his hand and wound your fingers through his as you felt him tense up, pressing your lips to the inside of his wrist in an attempt to help him calm down. It had been your sincere hope that after you beat the shit out of this cunt you would never have to see her again, but when had you ever been that lucky?

“Aww, Rannie, thought you couldn’t talk without this bitch’s permission.” She looked mildly uncomfortable when you shifted your gaze to her, your eyes narrowing in a warning that she chose to ignore. “Been missing you a whole lot, baby, when’re you gonna stop slumming around?”

“What the fuck do you want, Sloane?” You were chanting over and over in your head that you were not going to fight this cunt, catching Anne starting to square up from the corner of your eye and giving her a small shake of the head to get her to stand down.

“I’m not talking to you, slut.” She must’ve been drunk, you had definitely taught her her lesson last time. “Just because you can give this bastard a good, sloppy fuck doesn’t mean you get to keep him. You don’t know what he really needs, and he’s too fucking stupid to tell you. God, you’re only sticking with him because he’s such a good fuck, right? That’s like, his only redeeming quality, except for the money. And you and your low class pussy don’t even know what to do with such a fine piece of eye candy.”

“Ok, you need to leave, Sloane.” Ransom may have been full of the anxiety he always felt around his ex, but the way your whole body was wound tight like a spring let him know you were ready to get violent. So he pressed a brief, soothing kiss to your hair and moved to guide this drunk bitch away from another beating.

“Don’t you fucking touch me, god, you really are a fucking moron.” Sloane jerked away from him when he tried to guide her away from your group, turning and sneering derisively at him. “Fuck’s sake, Linda was right, she really should have aborted you so we wouldn’t have to deal with your stupid bull shit.”

“What the fuck did you just say?” You reached your arm out to grip Ransom’s shoulder on instinct when he recoiled like he had been slapped, pulling him towards you protectively as you stared disbelieving at the people around you. “What the fuck did she just say?”

Sloane was just grinning at you wickedly as she sipped on her drink, like she had never and would never do anything wrong in her life. You almost forgot your promise you’d made to not get yourself kicked out of this event, but then Ran was clutching at your waist and making a choked sound and you turned back to him with concern.

There was no one to hold back Anne though, and she hadn’t made any promises about being on her best behavior. So she handed Ben her purse and punched that bitch right in the jaw.

You just gave a grateful look to your best friend before she bitch slapped that twat, security already starting to rush towards the fight as you guided Ransom towards the parking lot while he tried to regulate his breathing.

“Baby? Hey, Ran, look at me.” You’d never seen him look so completely lost, his eyes glistening with pent up emotion when you finally got him to look at you and you felt your heart break. “Oh honey, can you make it to the car?” He just nodded at you as another strangled sob escaped his throat and every fiber of your being ached to give him some form of comfort. “Ok, gimme the keys.”

He handed them to you and you wound your arm around him to guide him towards the beemer, letting him lean heavily on your shoulder and murmuring soft, soothing noises to him as you tried to think of something you could do for him. You knew that bitch was an abusive piece of work but Ran had been so hesitant to talk about it and you didn’t want to push him about it before he was ready, but if the way he reacted to her barb was any indication of how she treated him you might end up killing that bitch.

Ransom’s breathing seemed even more ragged by the time you reached the beemer, barely giving you a chance to shove the front seat down so the two of you could climb into the back and you could instruct him to stretch out over your lap. Your own throat was starting to get tight when he let out a wretched sob, the fingers of one hand running through his hair while the other smoothed over his chest as you watched his face closely.

“Baby, I need you to breathe for me, ok?” You were trying your best to keep your voice low and even, taking a deep breath and waiting for him to mirror your actions until he was pressing his face to your stomach with a piteous whine once his breathing had regulated slightly. “That’s it, you’re doing so good, Ran, just keep breathing.” 

He sighed deeply when you continued murmuring soft words of praise to him, his fingers curling over yours on his chest as he looked up at you and felt the softness of your gaze spread like warmth through his body. 

“I’m sorry.” He moaned when you pulled gently on his hair, his voice raspy with the tears he’d managed to swallow.

“No, baby.” You curled over him and brushed your lips over his forehead, trying not to cry when he wrapped his arms around your neck and let out another shaky breath. “You don’t apologize, ever, you hear me?”

“I thought I was over this shit.” He buried his face in your neck and breathed deep, your warm scent washing over him and finally making him relax. “I don’t want to put this on you.”

“Listen to me, Ransom.” You pulled back a little so you could gaze into his eyes, resting your forehead against his and maneuvering until you were laying next to him across the backseat. “I don’t know if you really think I’m just with you for the sex or what, but when I say I love you, I fucking mean it. I love all of you, so much, and that means that you can put all of it on me, ok? I’m not going anywhere.”

“Fuck, I love you, too.” He whined when you pressed your lips to his gently, drinking you in and pulling you to him as tight as possible when you let him deepen the kiss. “Need you so much.”

“I know, Ransom, I’m here.” You moved your lips up to his cheeks when he finally let his tears start to fall, kissing each one that stained his cheeks as you splayed your body over his while he held you. “My sweet boy, it’s ok. Let go for me, baby.”

He buried his face in your shoulder and did as you asked. It wasn’t loud or dramatic, but you could feel the warm wetness of his tears against the bare flesh of your neck while his chest heaved against yours. You cooed soft words of encouragement into his hair as he wept, letting a few of your own tears fall as you felt the tension slowly seep from his body.

Neither of you were sure how long you laid there tangled with each other, but eventually Ransom felt the last of the pain drain out of him until he was sinking against the seat with exhaustion. Having you there with him was like a balm for his soul, the way your eyes moved to search his once you felt him let out a deep sigh making his lips quirk in a small smile. His eyes were brilliantly blue from the tears he had shed, but you could see a glimmer of something hopeful there, and that made you relax. You sighed when he framed your face with his hands and pulled your lips back to his, the kiss chaste but full of emotion that he was too exhausted to vocalize at the moment.

“You ready to go home?” You pressed your hand over his heart when you leaned back a little, glad to feel that it had slowed down to a normal rhythm as he nodded for you. “Ok, you just stay back here and rest, alright? When we get home I’m gonna draw us a nice bath and we’ll just spend the rest of the day vegging.”

“That sounds good.” He watched you climb back into the front seat with a deep breath, squeezing your hand when you let it linger on his chest before letting you pull it away with reluctance.

You peeked at him through the rear view mirror before pulling out, relieved when you watched his eyes drift closed as he sagged into the seat and let his exhaustion take over. It almost hurt you how much you loved that man, and if you ever saw that cunt who hurt him again, there was a good chance you were going to jail for him.

Ransom was still dozing by the time you pulled up to the house, but he roused quickly when he felt you shake him awake. He let you help him out of the car and smiled warmly at you when you brought your hand up to cup his jaw, humming contentedly when you let him bury his face in your hair as you guided him into the house.

You pressed a kiss to his cheek once you were inside and instructed him to go to the en suite while you got some wine, watching him closely as he headed up the stairs before moving to grab a good bottle from the rack. There was a buzzing from your purse and you pulled out your phone, texting Anne that everything was ok and no, you didn’t need her to smash that bitch’s windows in. She was detailing all the ways she was going to fuck that cunt up and making you chuckle when suddenly the last caller ID you expected flashed across your screen.

“Can I help you with something, Linda?” You poured the Syrah into a decanter and moved to grab a couple of glasses, curious why exactly she was calling you.

“Y/N…” she sounded massively uncomfortable but you could not bring yourself to give a single fuck. “I just… I heard what Sloane said and I wanted to make sure Ransom was alright. He wasn’t answering my calls though.”

“Good for him.” You chewed on your lip as you considered what you wanted to say to her. “Was she lying?”

“What?”

“Did you tell your own child you should have aborted him? Or was that abusive cunt you kept forcing down your son’s throat being a lying bitch?” 

“I never… I didn’t tell him.” She still sounded like she thought she was in the right, and you might have spit in her face if she was in front of you.

“Oh, but you said it, didn’t you?” You sneered and downed the glass of wine you’d poured when you saw her number pop up. She didn’t deny it, and you quickly moved to pour yourself another glass. “You’re a fucking piece of work, Linda.”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.” You could  practically hear her spine straightening over the phone and you rolled your eyes at her. “You don’t know what it was like trying to raise him. Stubborn and spoiled and…”

“Goodbye, Linda. Don’t fucking call either of us again.” You hung up before she could continue, tossing your phone across the counter and draining your glass before grabbing the decanter and glasses before heading upstairs.

“Hey, baby.” He was already soaking when you walked into the steam filled en suite, his head leaning back against the edge of the drop in tub and giving you a lazy grin. “You have trouble picking a wine?”

“No.” You set the decanter and glasses on the tray at the tub’s edge and pinned your hair off your neck before getting undressed and sliding into the water with him. “I had to talk to your mother.” 

“Oh, you had to?” He pulled you against his chest and sighed when you tucked your face into his neck.

“Yeah, I wanted to make sure she didn’t disturb us for the rest of the weekend.” You took a deep breath when he started trailing his fingers over your spine, the warmth of the water seeping through your body and helping you relax as you sank into him. “You wanna talk about what happened?”

“Later.” His arms wound tightly around you, nuzzling into your hair and breathing in the scent of you that always made him feel like he was home. “Just wanna hold you for now.”

[makeste]

Why do you think Katsuki allows Kaminari to treat him in such a friendly, carefree manner? He sort of just… lets Kaminari move him around, dress him up, call him whatever, and just takes it from him, when it feels like he wouldn’t let just anyone do that…

no, I definitely don't think he’d allow just anyone to do it. there are a few things that factor in, I think.

Kaminari is very nonthreatening. like, that's not to say that he's a wimp or anything (far from it, I think he's a total badass). but he is extremely friendly and approachable and also very humble and self-deprecating. basically he's the type of person who makes it easy to let your guard down around him. super chill, and juuust mean enough so that he doesn't come off as fake or super-sensitive, but otherwise he's incredibly kind and accepting. and all of this is very important when you're dealing with someone as paranoid as Kacchan.

Kaminari is also just a naturally touchy person. he's like this with everyone, not just Kacchan -- the scene where he's sitting in the classroom absentmindedly playing with Ojiro's tail immediately comes to mind. and so after a while you kind of get desensitized to it when you're hanging out around someone like that.

Katsuki secretly doesn't mind it. he is introverted, but I don't think he's necessarily touch-averse. it's just that he's constantly trying to maintain his tough guy image, and so letting people get all touchy-feely with him all the time is counterproductive to that. and he also has issues with letting himself be vulnerable around others, so if there's a risk that the physical contact is actually going to make him Feel Emotions, he's usually quick to shut it down (this has happened several times with All Might for instance). but all of Kaminari's friendly touches are extremely casual, so there's no real risk of emotions getting involved. and because Kaminari is like this with everyone, it doesn't make Katsuki look any less manly by comparison, so he's basically cool with it.

lastly, Kaminari is extremely talented at finding ways to give Katsuki an excuse to participate in something without compromising his reputation. the thing is that Katsuki actually does care about his classmates, and enjoys hanging out with them (within reason) and taking part in stuff like the band performance and the Christmas party. but because he doesn't want to seem like a sappy loser, he can never just agree to anything without first putting up a fight. and Kaminari, with all of his friendly obstinance and persistence, has basically mastered the art of putting on just enough of a show to allow Katsuki to give in while still preserving his dignity. sneaking up on him to "trick" him into wearing the band t-shirt and Santa outfit, "goading" him into helping with the New Year's preparations by threatening to withhold his portion of the meat, and so forth. the other kids have all gotten pretty adept at this too, but Kaminari is exceptional at it.

so yeah, basically Kaminari is just elite at wearing down prickly bastards until they finally give in and accept his friendship lol. that, and Katsuki actually enjoys the friendship. deep down he really does have a warm gooey center, and Kaminari is fully aware of this forbidden knowledge, and just enough of a bastard to take full advantage of it, god bless him.

[ariesisms]

at all times im thinking about bitty slowly and organically getting more and more comfortable with play fighting and wrestling his friends. like literally in the back of my brain at all times im thinking about the transition from touch averse freshman to rowdy boy varsity captain of the hockey team. and im crying about it.

im thinking about how it would freak him out a little at first, when these guys who he doesn't know all that well and who physically resemble the people who taught him to be afraid of his peers, want to playfully push him around and drunkenly climb all over him. and im thinking about how it's slow going, how bitty sometimes flinches at little things like Holster coming at him too quickly for a hug, or shitty smacking him on the back a little too forcefully. He never really tells them the full scope of what he experienced in Georgia, of all the ways he was made to feel small and weak and helpless and alone, but he thinks they get it. and that helps. it helps when he learns that all he has to do is say stop, and they will, no questions asked. It helps that shitty had gotten to all these guys first, that most of them were already smart enough to understand what "stop" and "no" mean, and that that's an open dialogue that's alresdy in place when bitty gets there. it helps that bitty can say stop, and they will, but it also helps that they dont treat him any different for it. it helps that they come right back twenty minutes later, getting up in his space in new obnoxious ways, constantly. it helps that they understand that stop means stop this, not stop everything. they listen, but they don't treat him like he's breakable. they know he's not, and it helps him remember that about himself.

It helps when he starts dating jack, who he does tell everything to, who clenches his jaw while bitty spills his guts and winces through the worst memories, fully submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being vulnerable. jack shakes his head after, eyes a little shiny and lost for words, like hearing about bitty's pain hurts him by proxy. and jack tells bitty that he figured there was something, knew from how scared bitty used to be about getting hit, but that he had no idea how bad it was. and jack hears all of it, knows all of it, knows bitty, and he still doesn't hesitate to pick him up and toss him over his shoulder. he doesn't stop hip checking him in the kitchen or chasing him around the living room and tackling him onto the couch. and bitty doesn't bat an eye. and thats what trust is. that's what being understood and loved is.

and bitty finds, slowly but surely, that he understands his friends in return. when he first got to samwell, he didn't get the constant rowdiness and rough housing, but by the time he's an upperclassmen, he's fully immersed in it. he gets it even when ransom sneaks up on him and puts him in a headlock outside the library, he gets it even when holster grabs him and drags him into his kerfuffle with chowder on the gross floor of the haus den, and he gets it even when he's trying to actually study for once and shitty barrels into his room and tackles him clean off of his desk chair.

and he doesn’t just understand it- he enjoys it. he's good at it. bitty checking that dude his senior year didnt come out of no where. he learns how to use his size as an advantage, how his smaller frame lends itself well to wiggling free from the clunky grasps of his gigantor friends. he gets scrappy - will use his sharp elbows and knees and isn't afraid to bite if he has to, and knows all the soft places that will make someone lose their grip, which he uses as leverage to throw them off their balance. he's also already the best at throwing his body weight around, years of figure skating having taught him exactly how much momentum he needs to land, calculated and somehow graceful, onto any target. holster is all too cocky until the first time bitty sneaks up on him at the exact moment he's shifting his weight from one foot to the other, getting a running start so when bitty jumps onto his back, holster goes toppling to the side, perfectly cushioning the fall for bitty, who just lays there, dead weight on top of him, until holster manage to push him off. and its fun. it's connection and it's trust and it's bitty, laughing and gasping for air with the people who make him feel safe, finally separating physicality from violence. it's learning that he has control, that he's not broken or breakable, getting the support he needed to grow into his body and reclaim it. it's him finally feeling strong instead of weak, understood instead of alone. it's trust. it's love. its GROWTH.

[serpenteve]

I'm having the horrible realization that Aleksander never actually did any serious wooing of Alina in the books. It's all just Alina her self being horny attracted to him. But this is supposedly???? His grand scheme???? Of manipulation???? Implications! It seems like the girls in these books wasn't the only one slut shamed. I'm- ☠

Leigh wrote a man sexy and captivating and said "it's his fault, actually, that Alina got a crush on him. He shouldn't of.... uh.." Flips through papers. "Ah, had such pretty eyes."

Okay! 👀Yes, we are finally doing this!

I'm flipping through my copy of Shadow & Bone and noting down all the interactions between the Darkling and Alina which I've put in chronological order beneath the cut.

First of all, the Darkling and Alina are only alone together in about a handful of scenes. Most of the time, the are surrounded by other Grisha or Baghra or are in a public place. A lot of the Darkling's actions and words are clouded by Alina's own insecurities. She constantly voices how she feels like she's not good enough, not pretty enough, not strong enough and he takes it in stride and gently encourages and placates her. There are a few lies he does tell her (that the Black Heretic was his ancestor, that he wants to destroy the Fold, and he doesn't know what Baghra's power is, etc) but if we extrapolate the trajectory of her ill-fated romance arc, I think even book!Darkling would have told Alina about his real plans if she seemed like she'd accept them.

A lot of speculation has been made about the Darkling's seduction of Alina and honestly???? Aleksander literally just exists and Alina is thirsting for him because she's desperately looking for validation and re-assurance. I initially head-canoned his first kiss by the lake as being pure calculation and the kiss at the Winter Fete being 100% accidental (because Dark Lord Sasha played himself lmao) but on this re-read, I don't even know anymore. He already came close to almost kissing her after they have a tender moment, catches himself and then immediately leaves before he can catch feelings. Then when they share another tender moment at the lake, he kisses her and then is surprised by it and before he can really process it, Ivan comes by to cockblock.

Like, even Leigh (as much as she has shit on this ship) said at one point that the Darkling has strong feelings for Alina, even if he may not necessarily quantify them as love. So looking back, I don't read anything the Darkling did as manipulative seduction. He obviously lied about some stuff and wasn't transparent about his real plans for the Fold, but as a military commander who sees Alina as an opportunity for a coup, it makes sense that he'd play that a little close to the chest---especially when Alina has proved to be wary of his powers and has a very black-and-white sense of morality. If anything, this is less "the Darkling seduced Alina to manipulate her into being used!!11" and more "local dark lord tried to encourage his protege and accidentally caught feelings and it was a mASSIVE FUCKING INCONVENIENCE TO HIS EVIL PLANS"

But you know who does slut-shame Alina a lot? Baghra. Seriously, Baghra makes Alina feel like shit for her crush on the Darkling numerous times. She has all these lines:

"You want to be [his pet]...Don’t bother lying to me. You’re like all the rest. I saw the way you looked at him."

"Dreaming of dancing with your dark prince?"

"Foolish girl." (After Alina shamefully admits the Darkling might come to her that night)

At one point Baghra creeps on Alina and the Darkling's interactions and even though literally nothing happens between them and when the Darkling leaves, Alina catches Baghra giving her a snooty look. ("For no reason at all, I blushed")

She is determined to shame Alina for her feelings and make her feel like a lovesick idiot for daring to crush on him and this is in addition to all the slut-shaming Mal does. The narrative revealing the Darkling is the bad guy all along while leaving Alina no compelling arc to discover this on her own feels very much like Leigh hitting us all with Baghra's stick, like "Foolish girls! You thought he cared about Alina just because he has a sexy jawline??? HAHA HE LIED YOU SLUTS"

Scenes with Alina and the Darkling in Book 1

Their first scene together is in the Grisha tent. Based on Alina's description of him, she already thinks he's hot as barely any other character in this godforsaken series gets so many descriptions of their grey/smoke/slate/quartz eyes as Aleksander does 😏

The next time they're together he saves her life. Alina is traumatized from seeing a man sliced in half and the Darkling instructs her to keep her eyes on him instead. She is disturbed that he killed the person about to murder her and this aversion seems incredibly contrived and arbitrary on behalf of the author. It's almost like she wants Alina to be vindicated and shamed for not trusting her initial bigotry against him or something 🤔The Darkling admits even he can make mistakes and then he touches the back of Alina's neck (with some secret Heartrender/Healer abilities?) and she falls asleep riding on his horse.

They spend the next few days traveling. Alina notes that the Darkling hasn't spoken to her (probably because he's focused on getting her to the Little Palace without any more assassination attempts) but Alina is a paranoid she's offended him somehow. Again, this is just Alina's insecurity painting a narrative that simply doesn't exist based on what actually happened so far.

They exchange a few words by the stream and Alina fishes for pity points by saying she's ugly and can't possibly be Grisha. Aleksander appears 100% done with her stupidity and says she doesn't understand but he's not in the mood to explain at the moment and walks off ☠️

Alina joins the Darkling and his men for a meal. She notes that the grouse they've killed is meager shared meal but that the Darkling doesn't want to put his men in danger by sending them out to hunt in the forest at night 😌He also sits on the floor to eat like they do and he doesn't take more than the regular portion than they do 😌. Sorry, how is this man the most ~evil~ wizard on the planet? He is obviously a good and fair commander and beloved by the Grisha.

Alina has been checking Aleksander out the entire time so when he catches her, he walks over to talk. He fishes around for information on what Alina has heard about him. He seems sad when Alina mentions she has heard that Darklings are born without souls, though not surprised. He then spins the story about the Black Heretic being his ancestor and how the Fold was a mistake and how every Darkling since then has tried to undo it and how Alina is "the first glimmer of hope" he's had in a long time.

Because Alina is still on that "Grisha are unnatural monsters" agenda, she asks him about the Cut and he explains it but she's still distrubed. He asks her if it would have been better if he used a sword and she replies: "I don't know". The Darkling gets offended and leaves. Alina tries to convince herself she can't have possibly hurt his feelings (because Darklings don't have souls or feelings?) and then feels paranoid that she's failed some secret test. Yeah, the test you failed is called "empathy", Alina 🙄

Two days later, they arrive at Os Alta. Aleksander roasts the Grand Palace as the ugliest effing building he's ever seen. He leaves immediately after dumping Alina at the Little Palace and Alina actually seethes that he isn't paying more attention to her? I understand that it's overwhelming to go to a brand new place, but Alina expecting him to constantly hold her hand and explain everything to her after she basically insulted him is a bit strange.

The next time Alina sees the Darkling, they are scheduled to appear before the King and Queen. The demonstration is a surprise for Alina and Aleksander's lack of transparency of what's expected of her means she's forced to rely on him and trust his instincts. This might be his underhanded way of getting Alina to see that she can trust him; that he will not make her look like a failure or humiliate her; that they are in this together and it will only work if she trusts him.

After the demonstration, Genya and the Darkling trash the monarchy for a bit (Alina is horrified) and then the Darkling orders Genya to get a black kefta for Alina, to which Alina infamously wants a blue one. The Darkling doesn't really put up much of a fight, merely wanting to know why. Alina decides he doesn't approve of her choosing blue and wonders to Genya if he's angry.

After Alina's first day, the Darkling calls her to his quarters to ask her how her day was. Alina is surprised that this is all he wanted to know because she was paranoid he was going to torture her??? She says: "Why shouldn't I be afraid of you?...You can cut people in half. I think it's fair to be a little intimidated." If the Darkling is offended or angry about this, he doesn't show it and merely indulges her. He notes that she has a habit of running her hand across a scar on her palm and asks her about it, tracing the scar himself. Alina gets distracted by his touch but manages to answer his questions: she got the scar at Keramzin, Mal is also an orphan, he is good at tracking. He shows her a secret passage back to her rooms to avoid the main hall.

Alina starts her training and at one point laments that the Darkling is rarely at the Little Palace and when he is, he never speaks to her or barely looks her way and she is convinced it's because she's a failure and can't summon light on her own. It could also be because, you know, he's the commander of the Second Army and is usually seen in talks with other military advisors and the fact that Alina kinda lowkey insulted him with her wariness about his powers???

The next time they are together, Alina interrupts him and Baghra arguing. He politely asks her how she is. Baghra antagonizes her. The Darkling defends her. They talk about amplifiers and because Baghra is being a snarky little shit about it, they take their conversation outside.

Aleksander complains about how annoying his mom is and then asks Alina what stories she's heard about Morozova's herd. At one point he laughs for the first time and Alina practically creams her pants at the sound. Alina expresses her concerns that she can't summon any light and the Darkling says he's not worried and it will happen when it happens and worse case scenario, it will happen once she has the stag. They have a quiet intimate moment, gazing softly into each other's eyes and then suddenly Aleksander realizes he's catching feelings and steps back suddenly like "GoodLuckWithYourLessonsOKayBYE". Baghra watches this interaction from her hut and gives Alina a slut-shaming look.

Alina eventually does learn to summon light on her own. Baghra gives her grief about how it's not enough. The Darkling shows up during one of these lessons and says as much. Alina says she's useless. The Darkling corrects her (“I don't think you're useless, Alina....No Grisha is powerful enough to face the Fold. Not even me”) and then he apologizes for letting her down ("I've asked you to trust me and I haven't delivered"). He wonders if his mother is right and he's crazy to hunt the stag. They have a nice bonding moment, Aleksander lies about Baghra's power, and then he asks if Alina would think him crazy for still wanting to find the stag. She asks why he cares what she thinks, he seems genuinely surprised himself that he cares. Then he kisses her. He seems not to have meant to kiss her because then Ivan shows up for his 5 o'clock shift of cockblocking and the Darkling immediately pretends like nothing happened and walks away with him. Like dude is acting like a fucking dork who's allergic to feelings at this point. I should note here that Alina practically has an orgasm from how giddy she is about this moment. She can barely think of anything else.

The next time they're together, it's at the Winter Fete. They do their demonstration and Alina accidentally reveals her insecurities about how he had kissed her and then disappeared. He responds, "Did you really think I was done with you?" and then they enjoy some steamy kisses and thigh grabbing in an empty room before a random round of Grisha show up for their 6 o'clock shift of cockblocking. Aleksander is annoyed at his own attraction to Alina. He asks if he can come to her that night but Alina doesn't get a chance to respond.

and then the Darklina romance arc falls off a giant cliff and dies a terrible death 😭😭😭

[shihalyfie]

Hello! Since you seem to be getting a lot of character comparison asks, I figured I’d ask if you have any thoughts on the similarities and differences between Ken and Koichi, and also their relationship with darkness? At first glance they seem very similar but I feel the way they view darkness- and perhaps the darker parts of themselves- differs quite a bit.

The two of them definitely have similar base profiles at first, but start to really veer off in different directions after that!

I think the one thing that's most different between the two is that, quite simply, their "base personalities" -- that is, how they act in normal situations separated from all the stuff going on with Digimon fighting -- are actually fairly different to begin with. One thing that might surprise people is that Kouichi actually uses the more assertive/aggressive pronoun ore, contrary to what his supposedly “shy” personality might suggest (of the Frontier boys, only Tomoki uses the more polite boku, and I think it’s in line with Frontier generally portraying its kids as less naturally well-behaved and a bit more misfit). Kouichi’s “shyness” in Frontier is really implied to just be out of the circumstances of him being a bit awkward around the kids he’d been fighting for a period, and especially not sure how to approach Kouji, but Things I Want to Tell You implies that he’d actually had a full-on social friend circle (mentioning friends at school and playing soccer). The only part that made him “out of place” like the other Frontier kids was really the part right before the series, when he learned he’d had a brother, had to question what that implied, started fostering feelings of jealousy towards him, and ended up “passed over” for being chosen instead of how Kouji was, but for the most part his personality doesn’t seem to be that fundamentally different from Kouji’s (there's a point made in a scene in Frontier episode 40 where the twins are looking at Takuya with nearly the exact same expression).

Ken, on the other hand, does use the polite pronoun boku, and although he’s still a fairly casual person (his speech pattern is slightly more casual than Takeru’s), he is kind of...a polite nerd, for lack of a better way to put it. That penchant for intellectuality wasn’t entirely the Dark Seed’s doing -- he’s gone on infamous “trivial fact” spiels like about the origin of Christmas or Japanese hot springs. In contrast to the more easygoing Daisuke, he takes things really seriously, and one could describe him as “so overly serious about things he sometimes rolls into stupid”. He’s also rather tidy (he puts his chopsticks neatly on the bowl when eating, his Digital World outfit is his school uniform, he’s constantly tucking in both his summer and winter blouses, and even his Kizuna outfits are slightly formal), and because he does seem to carry himself softly, he has a stronger image of being a “nice and polite person” who doesn’t act roughly by default. Less so because he can’t be rough or aggressive, but more because he doesn’t want to be -- you can think of him as basically holding back his cards until the time is right or stronger force is called for (meaning he can seem mild-mannered, until he suddenly drops some sassy zingers right when you least expect it).

There are some similarities that go beyond their base profiles; it’s interesting how “jealousy” seems to be part of both of their initial motivations (and, in an interesting meta twist, one of the original ideas for Ken and Osamu was for them to be twins). However, as you said, they have a somewhat differing attitude in terms of what “darkness” is, and a lot of it has to do with a combination of what that even means in Adventure/02′s narrative versus Frontier’s, and what that meant to each of them personally. Ken had an outright self-inflicted identity crisis and an awareness that his fall came from his own personal vices, and the issue is casted in Adventure/02 as a problem of “balance”; Ken himself understands in 02 episode 23 that he has to accept everything in himself, and Takeru reminds him in 02 episode 37 that you can’t eradicate it entirely, but Ken of course retains an aversion to contexts where they’re obviously too much in excess. Kouichi, on the other hand, was probably not going to have a complete emotional meltdown to that degree had it not been for Cherubimon’s interference (although he still wasn’t necessarily having a great time), so being free from that influence means that, with his head cleared, he’s able to confidently deny going back there again and have faith in his ability to use it for good, especially because the part keeping it balanced -- his brother Kouji, as the light -- is able to be there and fight alongside him. His problem was addressed by learning to work alongside and get to know said brother, instead of living in jealousy of him.

It’s also interesting to see how their future plans end up going, since we now have “distant future” canon material for both 02 and Frontier; Ken had “expectations” put on him to the point it practically ripped him apart and gave him an outright identity crisis, so his future involves him allowing himself to not have to live to expectations nearly as much; by the time of Kizuna, he’s still dabbling in soccer and various hobbies and being chaotic with his friends, his “psychology” degree is not even mentioned anywhere except in his official profiles because of how much it’s a comparative non-issue in his life at the moment, and while he’s certainly still selfless, he’s still at the point where being able to just enjoy life as it is at all is a big deal. Even if he hasn’t found a goal in life to completely commit to yet, at the very least, he has the other members of the 02 group to support him, and it’s still important that he’s dedicating his efforts to supporting them in turn. Kouichi, on the other hand, didn’t have to worry about that kind of identity crisis, but he did have to worry about seeing his mother’s selfless streak meaning she was constantly ruining her health for others -- so, having taken on some of that selflessness, he’s decided to single-mindedly pursue a dream of going to medical school to help his mother. Keep in mind that he arguably has an even higher hurdle than our other single-minded prospective doctor, Kido Jou, because unlike the Kido family’s existing esteemed line, Kouichi’s not-exactly-well-to-do background means he’d had to scrounge up funds by being a paper boy while he was at it -- so that’s a pretty big uphill battle he’s taking, but he’s doing it because he knows that’s what he wants, and he also has his brother properly keeping up with him, and in touch with both him and his family situation.

[regrettablewritings]

Hello there, can I request number 1, 4, 8 and 11 for Foggy? Tysm <33

No, hun, thank you so much! I love this teddy bear of a lawyer <3

1. Which one is the better cook?:

You are by technicality: You know the basics, you know how to whip up a meal for a small gettogether and all that jazz. But when it comes to skill and resourcefulness? A challenger approaches, and he is known as Foggy the Thrifter.

This man knows how to put together a small meal on a shoestring budget. This man knows how to scan your fridge, take the one remaining egg and ketchup bottle and some crackers from the pantry, and turn it into something vaguely edible.

Not every meal he makes is a winner, but you'll definitely not be without at least something to nibble on by the end of the night. He's almost like a soldier in that way, in that he can throw a bunch of crap into a pot and then chow down on it because no, it's not even three stars-worth of grub, but it's necessary grub.

4. What they do on date night:

Foggy's constantly tired and constantly trying to keep money in the wallet. So honestly? You've become a regular at Rosie's. Yeah, it was bound to happen regardless if only because Foggy himself is a regular, but the point still stands: This is your watering hole now, just as much as it's his.

You don't mind it, of course, as you've come to love the regulars that haunt the hole-in-the-wall. But that doesn't mean it doesn't thrill you with a bit of relief when the month has been good to Foggy, money-wise. If a case goes well, or a client has pulled some strings, then put on your best, baby, we're hittin' the town!

Foggy himself may not be the most interested in fanciness, but he'll be damned if he doesn't take the chance to take his girl out to a nice establishment where they needn't worry about a bar fly clogging the toilet, or a fight breaking out at the pool table.

Fancy restaurant doesn't float your boat, either, though? He's perfectly fine with just taking you to one of the literal millions of local gems hiding throughout Manhattan -- or even one of the other boroughs, if you're willing to have an adventure. Just . . . make sure you stick close to him, okay? And have that pepper spray at the ready.

On top of that, though, he'd also really like to save up and take you out to a show, on or off Broadway. It's cheesy, yes, but you live in New York for god's sake!

8. What they argue about:

Compared to his friends, Foggy is the most risk-averse. Granted, his friends include a guy who backflips around, micromanaging the shit out of twenty blocks, and a chick who leaps before thinking more than half the time (and mostly without even telling anyone she's about to take the leap anyway). So it's unfortunately fairly easy to take his sense of self-preservation and willingness to go for a safer opportunity and process it as cowardice.

This couldn't be further from the truth! It's just that, well, this is New York: Nothing is certain, there's always something going on, something risky. And that's before factoring in money problems! He just wants you safe and taken care of.

And you appreciate that, you really do. But sometimes, it's easy for you to forget that. Not that it's all on you -- sometimes, he falls into his habits just as hard, becoming argumentative if you suggest his priorities might be a bit skewed. Deep down, he knows you don't mean any harm by it but closer to the surface, he feels insulted and unappreciated. No, he's not out there flinging himself into trouble, but somebody here has to be the stable one! Sorry that he's not going after bad guys head-on like Matt, or getting swept up in conspiracies like Karen, but he's not about to jeopardize everything he's worked on for a temporary fix!

He has to go about these things smartly, even if it can be emotionally draining . . .

. . . Fuck, this argument is emotionally draining. For the both of you.

For the most part, you two make a pretty happy couple. But moments like this can really stress the both of you out. Obviously, you hate it.

To your surprise, despite him being a lawyer, Foggy won't try to approach the situation like one: He won't argue further or twist your words or try to sandbag you or anything; he just wants to . . . talk. Like you're both normal people (because in your circle, you're the normal ones). And for that, you're grateful because it gives you time to really think about your words, think about how Foggy might take them, explain to him how you took his words . . .

The night might honestly end with you two going to sleep at opposite ends of the bed, even if you both came to a mutual conclusion that worked in your favors. But it never really lasts: Foggy is a teddy bear, after all. Protective, yes, but not for the wrong reasons.

11. What their first impression was of each other:

To be brutally honest, you, like many others, were initially more drawn to Matt. Curse your superficial ass . . . It wasn't that you disliked Foggy, it was just that, by comparison, he wasn't as traditionally handsome. But he was definitely not bad; he came off rather sweet for somebody questioning you for an upcoming case. He never pressured you to speak any further on subjects that seemed to catch you off guard or make you uncomfortable.

Since then, you have come to the conclusion that of the Nelson & Murdock firm, Foggy is the actual catch: Columbia grad, kind, knows how to save money, handy around the apartment, isn't trying to go out there and get his guts prolapsed by gangsters . . . Oh, yes: You have acquired for yourself a King.

Meanwhile, Foggy actually didn't think too fairly much of you. Not an insult, he was just in work mode at the time. Though even in work mode, he could at least determine that you were attractive, if nervous. Though, given that this was an interview for a case and you were a character witness, yeah, he wasn't going to blame you. But as the interview went on, he appreciated that in spite of your anxiety, you were at least trying to be helpful, even trying to go out of you way to add on to any previous notes you had provided.