#not based on personal experience at all im Fine
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gibbearish · 10 months ago
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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mistergoddess · 1 year ago
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hmm yeah in 2 weeks exactly from this moment i will be on a plane overseas for the first time ever in my life and i have put exactly zero thought into any of that like what i'm packing how i'm packing when i'm packing what i'm packing in how i'm getting to the airport what my next move is on a whole ass other continent after getting off the plane or even just. idk. general mental preparation. lmao.
i mean it's the uk and i am not solo traveling beyond the flight there so it's not that serious but fuck i have been head empty i can't even sort out getting a phone plan which i have exactly five days to do lmfaooo let alone all that. eugh. whatever. fuck it we ball mentality.
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lecliss · 1 year ago
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The thing that irks me so much about Cloud's va is that the guy doesn't sound like he's voicing an "emotionally stunted socially awkward secretly incredibly traumatized" character. He just sounds like he's bad at voice acting. And I can't tell if it's better or worse than in part 1 cuz he had the exact opposite problem there where he sounded like he wasn't good enough at sounding emotionless and kept letting emotion slip through in his lines like he sounded like an amateur actor that still couldn't sound convincing.
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snekdood · 2 years ago
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any time ive been scared or paranoid about something and ppl dismissed me bc of my past but i ended up being right- those ppl owe me 100 dollars.
#i've! never! even! believed! in! the thing! the way! you think! i did!!!!!#i believed in it! the way!!! I *SAID*!!!! I DID!#STOP!!!!!!!!!!!! ASSUMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHATEVER IS MOST CONVENIENT FOR YOU! AND TREAT ME LIKE AN INDIVIDUAL#PERSON WITH INDIVIDUAL EXPERIENCES THAT AREN'T UNI-FUCKIN-VERSAL!#FUCK WHAT YOU HEARD LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SPEAK ABOUT ME OK??????????? FUCK!#ITS YALL THAT MAKE ME WANNA PULL OUT A KNIFE AND GO CRAZY OK#IM SO CLOSE SOMETIMES W YALL ISTG.#everything could be normal n fine if ya didn't treat me like im basically a criminal all the fuckin time?????? for no fucking reason either#literally just based on what one other person said? and even if its more than one person 1. do they know me? 2. do they have proof#they actually know me? 3. are you sure its not the same person on an alt account? 4. even if its not- most of the ppl in my childhood#ALSO liked to spread rumors about me bc im someone whos quiet and ppl think that means im untrustworthy and unpredictable when#really im becoming more and more non verbal SPECIFICALLY because people keep accusing me of shit im not even fucking doing#it all starts with an 'innocent' lie#and then tumbles out of control. and now theres a version of me out there that isnt even anything like me.#but its scary enough to keep people away from me. and people act like im supposed to be strong and just brush that off as no big deal#you try living your entire life where no one ever fucking listens to you when you talk about your experiences and who you are.#and then get back to me about how im supposed to be over it already.
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foreignjaykay · 4 months ago
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company (a jungkook fic)
part one - "you wish i'd miss you,"
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company - a jungkook fic
can we keep each other company?
their workplace was chaos, but jungkook made it fun. their camaraderie was effortless—until he decided to leave. no big deal. people quit all the time. so why does it feel like everything is about to change?
pairing: jungkook x reader
genre: r18+ (angst, fluff) minors do not interact!
chapter warnings/misc: workplace!au, coworkers!au, event planner!jk, event planner!oc, jk is not famous, angst, fluff, sad, crack, event planner!mingyu, bts in event planning company, unserious friend group, they are so silly and unserious, mean boss - yeah no she sucks, ANGST, IDIOTS both of them, yeah i guess thats it...for now hehe
notes: hello everyone!!! hehe its my first fic on tumblr and my first ever jk fic so i really hope you guys like it. im writing after so many years so please ignore mistakes eh. its kinda based on my personal experiences. things will only get interesting as this fic progresses.. lots of new characters will come in the next chapter! this fic will honestly pick up its pace from the second chapter!! anywho lets get into it!! <3
moodboard • playlist • series masterlist
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The first thing you saw when you unlocked your phone this morning was a text from Jungkook. That in itself was weird—he wasn’t the type to be up this early, let alone texting people.
jaykay (work) [8:50am]: hi :)
you [8:50am]: oh my god. what did you forget?
jaykay (work)  [8:51am]: have some faith in me. i was texting for something entirely different. 😒
you[8:51am]: are you sick? held hostage? blink twice if you need help.
jaykay (work) [8:52am]: how da hell are u so dramatic in the morning
you [8:52am]: come to the point jungkook
jaykay [8:52am]: fine. 🙄 don’t bring lunch today
you [8:53am]: why?
jaykay (work) [8:53am]: lunch is on me. taking you, shane and mingyu out for ramen
you [8:53am]: 🤨🤨🤨
jaykay (work) [8:54am]: see you in office🥰
You squinted at the screen, trying to process the words through your morning haze. This man barely made it to work before noon on most days, always breezing in with an iced americano and a sheepish grin. And yet here he was, awake and making lunch plans at 9 AM? Suspicious. Very suspicious.
It’s fixed, you know? Him being late to work, getting sarcastic remarks from the bosses - Natasha, the reporting manager (god did she love micromanaging the team) and Kim Song, the director of your company.
But whatever, free ramen was free ramen and, on that note, you finally woke up and went to get ready for the weird day that was ahead of you.
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By the time you got to the office, the usual chaos had already begun. Natasha, wasn’t physically present today, thank the lord for that, you thought, but her presence loomed over Zoom calls like a dark cloud. You had barely set down her bag before her laptop screen lit up with an incoming call. Does this woman ever chill?
“Good morning, team,” Natasha’s clipped voice rang out as the screen loaded. “Let’s go over the deliverables for today.” Her screen was hidden and she was on a holiday like she had very explicitly mentioned the week before she left.
You suppressed a groan as you saw Jungkook and Mingyu joining the call too. Shane, their CS intern, looked half-asleep. Jungkook, though, was oddly quiet, his usual playful banter nowhere to be seen. His leg bounced under the desk, fingers drumming against the tabletop.
You shot him a look, but he didn’t meet your eyes.
Okay that was weird, wasn’t it?
You looked towards Mingyu and Shane to see if they noticed Jungkook being a little off today but to your surprise they were engrossed on what Natasha was instructing on the upcoming event which was the luxurious Cartier dinner.
Classic Natasha, putting her work on us while she sips on pina coladas on the beach after this 10-minute meeting. You wanted to be as carefree as her sometimes, how easily she just threw her tasks on others.
Throughout the meeting, you couldn’t help but steal glances at Jungkook which thankfully he didn’t notice.
Or at least that’s what you thought.
Jungkook knew you. He knew how curious you got sometimes and he also knew currently the wheels were turning in your head wondering why he was being so awkward. He smiled internally, thinking how much you knew him and how much he was going to miss you.
If you kept looking at him like that, he was going to crack. He just hoped you wouldn’t figure it out before he told you himself.
Once the meeting was over, you quickly went towards the design studio in the office, greeting Yuna and So-hee who seemed like had just come to office with the way they were switching on their systems for the day.
“I really need the final design renders for the stage setup and the seating plan for Cartier, Yuna,” You said worried knowing that if you don’t get these renders in next half an hour then the costing would delay and then Natasha…yeah no.
Its as if Jungkook got a sign, he entered the design studio greeting Yuna, So-hee, and Dae and standing next to you as if to ease the tension you had going on.
“Babe, give me 10 minutes, the renders are ready. I’ll email it to you, Natasha and Namjoon,” Yuna said as she started working on her system. You nodded your head and gave her a worried smile.
“Mark me in the email too,” Jungkook said instantly and you gave him a pointed look. Yuna seemed to mirror your thoughts and raised her eyebrows towards him.
Seeing that you both were confused, Jungkook chuckles and says, “__, you should be happy that I am willingly asking to be marked on emails,” which makes you roll your eyes playfully and smirk.
“Also, I don’t have nothing big going on currently, project wise, so I’ll follow up for the costings and Natasha will stay away from my ass,” Jungkook continues and laughs with Yuna, So-hee and Dae.
You looked at him as he was sort of back in his carefree self but something still felt off. You just couldn’t put your finger on what this feeling was.
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Lunch couldn’t come fast enough. The second Natasha’s second call for the day wrapped up the call, you shut your laptop and turned towards Jungkook who along with Mingyu and Shane was joking and was waiting for you to get done.
“Okay, spill. What’s with the mystery since today morning?” You immediately asked him and he couldn’t help but chuckle nervously.
Mingyu slung an arm around Jungkook’s shoulders, grinning. “Yeah, dude. You’re making me nervous.”
Shane, ever the observer, just raised a brow. “Is this about work? God I can’t wait to dig into some good ramen after hearing Natasha ramble since past 15 mins. 15 mins with her feel like 2 hours,” Shane continued rambling earning laughs from the three of you.
Jungkook let out a breath, running a hand through his hair. “Let’s just get to lunch first.”
That didn’t help your growing suspicion, but you let it slide—at least until the 4 of you reached the ramen place.
The aroma of rich broth and sizzling garlic filled the tiny ramen shop. Shane and Mingyu were already practically vibrating with hunger, menus discarded, ready to order. You, however, were still scanning the options, your stomach rumbling in anticipation. Just as you were about to decide, you and Jungkook spoke in unison: “Japchae.”
A surprised laugh bubbled up. “You wanna have japchae too?” you asked, a little thrill of connection sparking despite the weirdness of the morning. He nodded, a small smile playing on his lips, and ordered for both of you.
Minutes later, steaming bowls of ramen and the shared plate of japchae arrived. The savory scent made your mouth water. You took a tentative bite of the japchae, the noodles perfectly chewy, the vegetables crisp and flavorful. It was delicious. But Jungkook just sat there, chopsticks hovering over his bowl. He had a strange expression—not quite annoyed, but… something. You knew that look. It was his tell when food was exceptionally good. That’s just his weird trait.
You took the second bite yourself to see if it was and it was really good.
“I got another job.”
Silence.
Your stomach dropped.
Then, Mingyu blinked. “Wait, what?”
Jungkook shifted in his seat, avoiding their gazes. “I got an offer from an event company. They handle production for A-list musicians—concerts, world tours, all of it.” But you could see how proud he was. This was his dream.
“Oh, shit, that’s huge,” Shane said, eyes wide and dramatically keeping his chopsticks on the side.
Jungkook looked at you trying to gauge for your reaction.
You swallowed, gripping your chopsticks a little tighter. “Wow. That’s… incredible, Jungkook.” You said genuinely but why did it feel so off? Why did it feel like you were losing everything? People leave jobs all the time and this is no different, so why was it feeling all to different suddenly?
When you congratulated him, you meant it. You really did. He deserved this. But there was a weird, hollow feeling in your chest. Something tight that you couldn’t quite name.
Jungkook was watching you and asked, “You okay?”
You forced a smile but to everyone it looked genuine. “Of course. This is a big deal. I am so happy for you, Jungkook!” Mingyu and Shane mirrored your smile and congratulated him to which Jungkook threw an honest smile.
His eyes still lingered for a second longer before he nodded, turning his attention back to his food. But you could tell he didn’t fully believe you.
Mingyu and Shane immediately started asking him the questions about his new company and the new job and Jungkook excitedly answered them all and you were interested too to know all the details.
Once the 4 of you were done with the lunch, you asked him, “So when are you telling Natasha?”
“Next week, and then 2 weeks’ notice,” He said looking at you as if he was trying to find an emotion out of you.
“Damn bro, you are leaving us so soon.” Shane said and you looked at Jungkook.
“Now at least I will have some proper desk space at the office,” You tried to joke which earned you a playful eye roll from Jungkook.
“Oh my god, I have to plan a farewell party for you now,” Mingyu joked and you laughed. For the whole lunch, this is the first time Jungkook noticed you genuinely smiling and it was all thanks to Mingyu’s dramatic nature.
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The rest of the workday felt strangely off-balance. Even though nothing had technically changed yet, you felt the weight of the upcoming shift pressing down on you. The knowledge that soon, Jungkook wouldn’t be here anymore—wouldn’t be there to roll his eyes at Natasha’s ridiculous demands, wouldn’t be crashing at her desk with an iced coffee and a new piece of gossip, wouldn’t be around to share those unspoken glances when things got too absurd.
You had started hating how much that realization unsettled you.
It was Jungkook who got you out of your dazed thoughts when he said, “___, I have asked Namjoon hyung for the Cartier costing and he is working on it,”
You threw a sincere smile towards him and nodded while he went back on his desk and worked on some small projects he had going on.
gyu (work) [3pm]: are you okay?
Once you read the text, you immediately looked at him but he acted to be so engrossed in his work and you couldn’t help but look back into your phone and text back
you [3:01pm]: yeah, why?
gyu (work) [3:01pm]: you sure about that? ever since jk dropped that bomb, you have been quiet and so has he.
That got your attention. Were you that obvious?
you [3:02pm]: no nothing like that. im happy that he got this. he deserves it!! also when is the blue label bottle engraving costing going to the client? natasha has been on my ass about it since morning. send it asap please <33
gyu [3:03pm]: girl i gotta give it to you, nice attempt to change the convo but we aren’t done yet. ugh why are you my senior? im sending it in 5
By the time the day ended and finally the costings for Cartier had gone out (thanks to Jungkook and Joon), you had convinced yourself you were just being dramatic. People left jobs all the time. This wasn’t a big deal. It shouldn’t be a big deal.
Mingyu and Shane had already left for the day and the design studio was also empty leaving only you and Jungkook in the client servicing department. For a Monday, people had left earlier than usual, you thought to yourself.
You looked at the clock and saw it was 7pm already.
While you packed your bags, like routine, Jungkook waited for you. He dropped you home everyday given that you both lived nearby and your apartment came on the way to his.
However, the silence between the two of you felt heavier than usual.
“You’re quiet,” he finally said as the two of you entered the elevator.
You forced a laugh and adjusted your purse, trying to look anywhere but at him. “So are you.”
The two of you exited the elevator and sat in his car, he started the engine. For the first time ever, the silence between the two of you was uncomfortable.
Jungkook sighed, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel as he took the familiar route and said, “Are you really happy for me?”
You immediately turned to look at him, meeting his gaze in the dim glow of the streetlights. “Yes, I am. Why would you think I am not?”
His smile was small, a little sad. “Alright. You and I haven’t spoken much since lunch,”
You didn’t know why, but something in your chest ached at that. But you ignored it,  and looking towards and giving him a smile and said, “Jungkook, I am so happy for you. I am. I know you wanted this and now you have it,”
For the first time in the whole day, he smiled genuinely at you.
“Will you miss me?,” He asked as he stopped the car right out of your apartment and looked at you with his doe eyes that carry the sta-
Wait what?!
You ignored whatever that thought was and quickly composed yourself and laughed at him. “You wish I would miss you,” You joked playfully and he rolled his eyes.
“On a serious note, yes I will. Who will I tolerate Natasha with?” You continued and he let out a small chuckle.
“Anyway I have to go. See you tomorrow boss,” you finally said, and then you were gone, disappearing into the building.
Jungkook sat there for a moment, staring after you.
He knew you better than you thought. He knew when you were genuinely happy, when you were just pretending, when you were holding back something you didn’t want to say. And tonight, you were definitely holding back.
Jungkook sighed, leaning his head back against the car seat. Leaving this job was supposed to be exciting, a step up, an opportunity of a lifetime. And it was.
But why did it feel like he was losing something, too?
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part 2
© foreignjaykay
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greatandholypangolin · 1 year ago
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am I wrong for saying “shoutout to asexuals”?
ok so recently, whenever a conversation has died or whatever, I’ll just say “shoutout to asexuals” and then move on, because, idk, it’s a bit funnygoofy and also I like my asexual friends. Anyway, I said it in front of my mother and she said not to do it anymore, because it could be seen as “othering” people with asexuality. I don’t see it that way at all, but I wouldn’t like to be accidentally homophobic, so I’m using a poll to get real asexual opinions
for reference, I’m bisexual, and my mother knows that, so I am part of the LQBTQ+ community, but I’m (maybe) not asexual. I’ve been thinking about things around the aro/ace spectrum, based on past experiences, but I feel as though I’m not sure enough to give myself any proper labels. My mother doesn’t know about that part.
so, my mother’s arguments:
It may seem like I’m “othering” the asexual community by saying that
its like being the a white girl in a room with a few black people in it and saying “shoutout to black people” - it feels weird to her
im not saying it because I genuinely want to support asexuals, I’m saying it as more of a verbal tic
my 2 asexual friends agreeing is not a large enough group, even if they both are fine with it, others may not be
and my arguments are:
Im saying it to include asexuals, because they can sometimes feel disregarded in LGBTQ+ spaces
its pride month, literally the best time to give random unprovoked asexuality shoutouts
Idk, I feel like asexual people wouldn’t really be offended by that
both of my asexual friends think it’s hilarious and encourage me to keep going
it’s like a cis person saying “yay trans pride” at random moments and being told not to because it’s making trans people feel more separate
im not othering asexual people, I’m celebrating them
also pls reblog this around I want the largest possible data set so I know if I’m problematic or not
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violet-moonstone · 7 months ago
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once more defending my love, book!elphaba thropp
reading reviews of wicked and im seeing people say they hate book elphaba because she's "unlikable"
so many people love the feel good vibes of the musical while not seeing that they sound exactly like people who would have shunned elphaba at shiz for not being pleasant enough and making them feel unsettled instead of putting them at ease
I'm saying this because I find that people are often much more charitable towards fictional characters than real people -- and people IRL who have Elphaba's severe, unwavering personality and unwillingness to conform often face the same social stigma she did, no green skin required. Like yes, Elphaba was an outcast because she had green skin, but I don't think the green skin is the point of the novel. I think her being green is a visual manifestation of being so at odds with what you're "supposed" to be that people demonize you for it. Book Elphaba is queer and hinted to be intersex. I read her as neurodivergent, so this all tracks to me, and considering that other forms of oppression and stigmatization are very important themes in the narrative, I think the green-ness simply emphasizes to the other ways in which she's marginalized.
Trying not to go into the Wicked rant that I tend to do every few months but I feel it coming on
I'm all here for critiques of the novel, because it certainly has flaws, and I understand why people don't enjoy it -- but there is something funny to me about people wanting a narrative about looking beneath the surface to find true value but hating the version of that story that requires the most compassion to appreciate. Like the musical is fun and well-made but it does not require any effort to like musical Elphaba because she's conventionally attractive woman who's feisty and kinda quirky...oh and she's also green. And her being green matters more to the other characters than to us. We don't care that she's green (because we already know it would be wrong to judge her based on that) and the musical gives us no other reasons to judge her, so we don't really have to process any complex emotions.
(Sidenote, I think if book Elphaba were still green but more conventionally attractive, bubbly, and less political, she would not have been as much of an outcast -- at least not in her later adolescence. Her green-ness could have been a novelty or spectacle that she used to her advantage if she made up for it by being more palatable in other ways. Of course, she would never do this, because that's simply not Elphaba. She could never twist herself to be anything other than who she is, even out of social self-preservation.)
Book Elphaba is so much more prickly and unpleasant --and hell, so was I at the height of my social ineptitude and feeling like there was something so so wrong with me (because why for the love of God couldn't I just fit in and act the way the cool kids my age did).
Her unpleasantness and seriousness and insistence on talking about important things that make people uncomfortable are her green-ness imo. Those are the things that affect how we as the reader experience her, and we must experience her strangeness as well.
And while I understand that if the moral of the story is essentially "don't judge a book by its cover" then yes, you can tell a thematically sound story about a girl who is actually pretty cool but just happens to be green and talk about how she's ostracized simply because she looks different. That's a perfectly fine story -- but I think it can go much further -- because it's not only wrong to marginalize people who look different, it's also wrong to marginalize those who are internally different. Difference is persecuted whether its visual or behavioural.
Even if Elphaba weren't green, there are inherent aspects of who she is that prevent her from conforming to the ideal, both in her world and ours. And I think valuing her with all of those things in mind is a lot more rewarding than simply liking her despite the fact that she's green.
Anyway I love Elphaba Thropp and I don't think her being more palatable would have made the story better — it simply would have made it more popular, and I think on that at least, fans of both the book and musical should be able to agree is not an inherently better thing.
...
OK one last point, I saw someone saw they prefer the musical because it has more "girl power" meanwhile the book feels "obviously written by a man" and I just...dear god what a surface level take
Yes Gregory Maguire is a man (oh, the horror!), but he wrote the women in Wicked as people, without hand wringing about if they're likeable or pleasant enough. They are flawed and raw and not just there to make the audience feel warm and fuzzy. He writes about sexuality without making women feel like sexual objects -- I suspect because he also writes about the sexuality of his male characters (the women aren't just in the story to turn us on) and he himself is gay, so there may be less male-gaze going on than with a lot of men who write fantasy. Yes, characters are described in sexual ways, but this happens regardless of gender.
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theiasthesis · 9 months ago
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Shifting can be escapism, and that's OK.
Im going to give you a valuable lesson, so stick to the post, dont skip because every word is important. Don't let that small attention span get to you baby, remember that knowledge is power.
My name is Willow! I'm a non-dualist reality shifter, shifting coach and subliminal creator who's a freak for the multiverse and knowledge. Everything I say on here is based on my own personal experiences and research.
This post can help you with:
Escapism, guilt for shifting, realising you're worthy of shifting.
The self determination theory (SDT) is a psychological theory of motivation. It focuses on the degree to which specific human behaviour is for the self ; self motivated and self determined
Basically, what exactly is it that a human being can do, that isn't manipulated by outside influence, but rather their own human nature?
According to the theory these are 3 self motivated human behaviours:
Autonomy
Having the freedom to decide your actions without outside influence.
Example: Being able to go out with your friends, without your parents restricting you.
Competence
The ability to do something effectively and be useful.
Example: You're a very useful employee at your company, this means you are competent for your job.
Relatedness
Being connected or related to someone, or something.
Example: Having a connection with family or friends
OK, so how does any of this apply to shifting and escapism?
When you lack one of any of these 3 behaviours or feelings, this is a disruption your human nature. Naturally by birth, you are within your birth right to recieve all of this.
Each of these behaviours, have extreme importance in your cognitive behaviour
- Cognitive behaviors are thoughts, ideas, and representations of yourself to others.
If you don't have the will or ability to control your actions independently, you are most likely going to feel stuck, and like everything is out of your control. Doing things that make you happy and activities you find meaningful, will become an issue due to your lack of autonomy.
If you don't feel competent in areas of your life, or people aren't competent when it comes to you, this can create low self esteem and a bad self concept, you may think of yourself as "worthless" "useless" or "incompetent"
You may feel less motivated to taking on new challenges and activities, as you feel like you're just going to fail, and mess everything up anyways.
Connection is what makes us human, love and empathy towards overs and receiving it, is what makes human life so special. Relatedness, is what you need to experience caring relationships, to be part of a community, and overall to feel love. Humans need love, that is a fact.
When these basic needs aren't met, a human being can lack the motivation to commit to any one of these factors, which take up a huge part in life.
Lacking these can make you feel, stressed, anxious, self loath and nihilistic.
When you don't have these 3 factors, this causes a lack of motivation to commit to them, which means you don't have them.
So you turn to something else, escapism.
"Escapism is the tendency to distract oneself from real-life problems. It can also be conceived as shutting meanings out of one's mind and freeing oneself from self-awareness for a while . Escapism has been identified as one of the key drivers behind online behaviors, in both adaptive and maladaptive ways"
- PubMed Central®
Link to study
Think of escapism like touching a hot stove. Imagine you place your hand upon a stove. At first its cold, and you're fine.
Then the temperature starts to slowly rise, its currently warm, its still fine you can deal with it. Now, it's getting hotter, and hotter, and hotter...
And you remove your hand.
Not on purpose, but by instinct.
By reflex, your hand immediately moved away from the stove once it got too hot.
Your nervous system felt the pain, which sent a signal to the brain, that something with your hand is wrong.
Biology isn't my strong suit I fear.
Another example.
You're in immediate danger, there's a tsunami coming your way, it's too big for you to face, if you stay where you are, you're going to get crushed by the water, and die on impact. So what do you do?
You run.
Naturally you escape from the dangerous situation, because who in their right mind would test their luck and try to survive a tsunami?
Are you getting it?
When human beings are faced with a situation that is uncomfortable, causes mental, or physical harm, or even death, their first response is to escape.
It is human nature to run, to escape, to not face the dangerous situation. Sometimes it can be a bad move, like ditching a daye you were nervous for, other times it could be skipping school because you constantly run into a group of serious bullies.
Repeat after me.
If you are in a situation where you do not feel loved, worthy, or free, you are allowed to escape.
You are allowed to escape.
Empathise on that baby, nobody is going to tell you off for it.
However, you must be weary of using shifting as escapism.
Shifting is a wonderful phenomenon, it is not something that determines whether you live or not. It doesn't determine your worth either, nor is it something that causes you psychological stress.
If you find yourself having suicidal or self harming thoughts, with shifting as a way to mend these thoughts, I beg of you to take a step back and evaluate these thoughts of yours.
Shifting is a journey, I preach that it's something that can be done on the first go, but that isn't the case for everybody.
It can be as short or as long as you make it, failure in shifting when using it as an escape from serious issues, is a one way road to psychological distress.
With that, I ask that you first deal with your mental health, before anything else.
Find something that makes you feel good and grounded, something you enjoy.
Please remember, that not everything is something you must be good at, if it came from you it's already perfect.
Meditation, painting, dancing, listening to music, writing, exercise. Anything and everything that makes you feel good, nothing is too silly, nobody is going to think you're weird or bad at doing something you love to do.
I found that talking out loud, writing in my journal, mediation and watching anime helped me a lot when I had "life impacting plans" connected to shifting.
LESSON SUMMARY
1. It is natural for human beings to run away when they are faced in a dangerous or uncomfortable situation
2. Shifting being used to run away from a bad situation, isn't negative. It only becomes negative once you prioritise it over your own health
3. Your mental and physical health always comes first before shifting
4. You deserve to be loved, to feel worthy, to not be let down, and to be free, whether that's through shifting or not!
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worst-mithrandir · 1 year ago
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I wish i could just tell my mom im aroace and that would be it. End of conversation, they get what im saying. Like if i were to tell themthat i was gay they would be all like ok, just be safe and prepere for the future or whatevr. But they dont know what aromantic and asexual mean.
It goes from a simple “im aroace”
To
“I dont experience attraction to people sexually or romantically. Yes i am sure. I think i would know if i found someone hot. I dont need to keep an open mind ive known for at least three years now. No im not pidgeon holing myself. Yes its possible to not be attracted to someone. No finding the right person is not applicable, i wont be attracted to them and they wont like that. No mom the goal now is not to find someone based off of personality, i dont want to find anyone at all. Yes im fine not being in a relationship. I prefer to not be in a relationship. I know this because i dont like it when people persue me and i dont like the thought of being in a relationship. I know you just want me to be happy and im trying to tell you that i will be happier outside of any sort of romantic relationship. Etcetera etcetera. On and on.
and I do NOT have the energy to go through all of that. I will definitely cry when i get overwhelmed after the first sentence, then it will take a whole lot longer
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victias · 2 months ago
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Why, I, as a Demisexual, think Lucanis' romance was beautifully written (briefly as I could manage)
First, I'm going to say that demisexuality, like all human sexuality is a spectrum, my experiences are not universal through all ace people. This is my perspective on Rookanis, no other relationships - canon or not.
Secondly, I am not here to speak negatively about something someone enjoys, I'm just happy people have found something that brings them joy. I've seen too much of people taking a giant dump on things others are enjoying and honestly they should be ashamed of themselves.
Third, I do not play games for romances, they are a bonus to the roleplay. Often I skip them altogether, im demi and usually dont get that same rush others seem to about this option in games. Recently there have been two which I've really related to and enjoyed- Lucanis Dellamorte and Hans Capon. Both of these are not based on big sexy flirts but rather just letting them know you care. This is my take on Lucanis romance as a demi person, and if other disagree that's fine.
- my biggest enjoyment is that the whole relationship is just built on showing they care - none of Rooks lines are particularly flirty after the coffee with illario, none of his responces are either until the wall lean where Rook is mildly flirty (more just trying to reassure him) and he comes to them- that man makes the move and Rook responds, maybe a bit too eagerly but it is definitely him that makes the move. Rook is patient, isn't overly pushy with the romance and let's him move at his own pace - this is the perfect start to a relationship to me.
- A complaint I often see is that Lucanis flirts with Neve and not Rook (again I am speaking of a world Lucanis ends up with Rook not Neve), I personally don't see it as particularly flirting, I, as a demi, am far more overt and flirty with my friend than he is with Neve on the daily. He has a friend, a friend who is safe to have a bit of flirty banter with and he enjoys that. He does the same with Rook in the first coffee scene with Illario and only when he starts to develop real feelings does that stop. This is exactly how I process relationships- friends are fun to flirt with, they are safe and eveyone giggles and enjoys themselves, only once have I experienced attraction and it was overwhelming, I didn't know what to do with these new emotions of both love and lust and I barely spoke to the other person- yes I probably seemed closed off but I needed time to process and adapt to a new way of being. Also i had to learn how to read the other persons emotions, not that I'm bad at that in general but as it's all new and I'm processing my own.
- on that note, yes we can flirt, yes we can pull off wall leans, flirting and seduction and 'rizz' are not the same as feeling attraction, as wanting to take it further, as experiancing love and lust. Lucanis' wall lean scene, whatever your read on it, is in character and someone who used to work as a bartender in a strip club there is no way Lucanis, if read as demi himself, would be some naive man who doesn't understand human sexuality just because he doesn't enjoy it and hasn't indulged (depending on read). I did. I was tipped well because I knew how to flirt without wanting more.
- I go from 0 to 1000 too. Once I become certain in what the other person was feeling/ wanted I'm confident to express my emotions but until then I was very guarded and unsure, this is how I see Lucanis' , he had the trauma of the ossuary on top of all the new emotions and physical desires, he doesn't want to overwhelm himself and Rook, but once he's confident in his feeling and theirs he goes all in, he's not scared anymore and gives all of himself, willingly and openly and he isn't afraid to take the lead.
- I too show my love by sharing things I enjoy - he cooks Rook desert, under the guise of it being for everyone because he's still not certain of their feelings, he's self doubting, but he wants to try so he shares something he loves doing by making something to go with what Rook loves (chocolate in my Rooks case), I will say that I think this scene could have been written better esp if you have the coffee option as that can just read like he made it for himself, but this, to me, is a completly natural and normal way to express care for someone. Again, in the mind prison he escalates the relationship by saying 'it's better i stay here than risk losing you' and again with desert, he makes the move, Rook is patient, Lucanis makes all the big moves and Rook just responds with comfort and support. On that note, he would know what flowers Rook would want, if they would want so the line he has about Neve would contradict what we know about his relationship with Rook - the man is observant and he would know already.
Regardless of how to read him, I am so happy to finally have a romance in a game I can enjoy - not everything is designed to appeal to everyone, and that's ok. Lucanis was for me and people like me, for once I got to feel excited about a game romance and nothing can take that from me! 🫠🤣
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thatfeyboy · 1 year ago
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I need to know why it makes people so unreasonably upset to suggest that some dysphoric trans people probably should be considered intersex. Do you just. Hate trans people? Or is it because anything that makes trans physical isn't allowed?
It has been stated many many times that not all trans people have dysphoria, and not all trans people that do experience the same dysphoria. It has been harped on that gender is social and about presentation and isn't binary. Fine. But somehow when I or people like me talk about having physical and immutable dysphoria that doesn't stem from social means it's not ok. When I bring up that yes, some parts of the brain control your hormones and gonads, and yes, some parts recognize what you are and should look like, im treated like a fucking gender critical.
Why is it wrong to say that parts of the brain do in fact qualify as sex related because that's what they are for? If they dont physically square with the binary(naturally, not through intervention) then that person is not binary/intersex in their physical disposition by definition. It's not exactly a hard concept to grasp.
And because I have to, no, most aspects of the brain are not related to our bimodal sex system. There can in fact be gender/sex nuance in certain parts of the brain without claiming male and female type brains exist as a whole. Fear of some shitty crack pot idea should not prevent people from understanding scientific inquiry and research.
Being intersex does not make the trans experience more or less valid/real. But I'm tired of pretending I'm a man for reasons that absolutely don't apply to me. Nothing about my being trans has anything to do with how I want to socially be, aside as an extension of others viewing my body as I wish it to be. If there is really room in the community for all of us, then my saying that some of our experience is different shouldn't be a problem.
EDIT: Thank you for some of your responses. I would like to amend my statement slightly. When I mentioned intersex I was more trying to imply, as I lacked a better word, that it is clear some if not most trans people that experience dysphoria have a physical developmental reason for that, likely epigenetic, genetic, and pre natal conditions. This type of sense is in most people, including cis people, hence why you cannot train someone to be a gender they aren't(no desistance of gender identity in both cis and trans people regardless of treatment). If intersex is to be interpreted as things exclusively affecting external or internal primary sex traits(as to be read, physically involved in the act of procreation) that are only ever natal, then I am ok in accepting intersex is not the best fit(except for that PCOS study but not super relevant rn).
That being said, I do still believe it is a part of sex and sex/gender development and that it is a physical condition(most anatomy based dysphoria). I don't see why it being a part of sex and sex development is a problem, when it has no other answer that satisfies our actual understanding of the condition and those peoples experience. Anything based on socialization has been disproven time and time again, so when are we going to stop acting like this
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shotanzz · 1 year ago
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Who in riize do u think would like a partner who’s slightly older/younger than them, like a year or two age difference? N then who do you think would prefer someone who’s older and has more life experience? (Basically kinda in a who would want to be taken care of by their partner vs them being the one to take care of their partner type of way)
hmmmmm this may be a bit controversial I fear
RIIZE OLDER VS YOUNGER based on astrology~
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reminder this is based off of MY opinions of their birth chart placements + aspects and is not exact fact unless I knew them myself and I am not a professional astrologer 🤍
Older
Seunghan
a lot of people think Seunghan would have a younger s.o but ngl..he'd probably like someone more older or at least a person that has more experience/more mature. I say this because the things he'd want the most I feel like he'd expect or more easily get from someone older. He wants someone that would be independent + confident in their place in the relationship, has experience in life in general (including partying/vices), and ngl he might want more tasteful luxury gifts so lowkey sugarmama/older gf vibes 😭.
Anton
I don't think he cares about age at all bc his chart doesn't indicate physical attributes minus the stereotypical feminine things (bouncy healthy hair, sweet perfumes, pretty nails) but I feel like he'd be best suited with someone older yk..like that would be best for him. Reason being, personality wise he wants someone mature, ambitious, independent, doesn't need to be babied/taken care of 24/7, can guide him, financial stable which is something you expect from a more mature/older person right ?
Middle Ground
alright ikik all my babygirls are wondering wtf Sungchan and Eunseok are doing here instead of the younger category but..walk with me....🤫
Sungchan
50/50 bc I feel like he can get what he wants from either age group. He has a cancer moon + leo venus so he may like reciprocity and for him and his s.o nurture or be attentive with each other OR he's ok with taking care of a younger/immature s.o & would be fine with being taken care of by a older/mature s.o. He likes someone to be educated, lowkey a little wiser and put together BUT he likes to wear the pants and be the lead/doting counterpart of the relationship. I just think he can get what he likes from either group and he probs is into cap risings.
Eunseok
Eunseok..probably just doesn't care LMFAO. As long as you're tall, hot, confident and charming he's all in. IM KIDDING OFC . but he can adapt to either relationship trope. He likes someone with a mature seductiveness thats independent and gives good concrete wise advice..BUT he also likes someone thats goofy and surprises him and has a teasing "hard to get" aura to them. So imo he'd go after either one as long as they were compatible with him.
Younger
(crazy I know)
Sohee
Sohee is typically the one being doted on and seen as the "cute" one and I just think he'd want to explore outside of that trope through his partner (sag venus tings). Plus I'm ngl Sohee's big 6 placements and his sun/uranus + mercury/mars aspects makes me feel like he'd feel kinda slowed down or restricted with an older/overly mature/serious partner. This is about to be contradictory ik but I feel like it’d be easier if said older partner had a more immature “cute” image
Wonbin
Wonbin probably likes...cliche dynamincs ngl..his taurus mars makes him feel more driven to the traditional/stereotypical dynamics yk so he's the masc and provides like the typical "oppa" type shit ykwim. Plus his Pisces Venus probably makes him idealize that type of stereotypical trope more. I also feel like an older partner would make him feel a more serious sense of responsibility and scare the shit out of him 😭😭.
Shotaro
Shotaro has a capricorn venus and I said in one post his ideal type could go either way and transition between being more playful+immature or sophisticated+mature I feel like he currently likes immature/younger partners (see how he dotes on Sohee/Anton the youngest members) but in the future would prefer someone more mature because that's just what I typically see in cap venus men,,they start with one ideal type and the older they get they switch to the other.
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cherryrikis · 10 months ago
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사랑으로 (with love,)
PAIRING swim instructors riki x fem reader
WARNINGS mild profanity
GENRE enemies to ??, fluff, angst if you squint
SYNOPSIS you hated riki because when it came to teaching your classes, he always one upped you. but riki doesn’t hate you. so when you both are punished for breaking equipment, he uses every opportunity to try and talk to you.
a/n loosely based of personal experience cz im a lifeguard🛟 also not proofread
it was meant to be a part time summer job. you just wanted something to do with all your free time, now that school was out.
but, the kids grew to love you, and you grew to love what you do.
so, you began to work full time at the local community pool.
instead of 2 classes a day, you’d teach 4 classes a day. it wasn’t too bad, each class only being 30 minutes.
you were so glad to help out, often even training the new interns.
until one. nishimura riki.
he was barely an intern for a week before becoming a full time employee. at first, you paid him no mind. he was a good teacher. very professional and good with the kids, often demonstrating the skills they needed to know to pass his class.
but eventually, he became better. he grew to become an even better teacher than you. the kids who loved you since the beginning started requesting to be put in riki’s class.
you watched him from across the pool, playfully splashing his students (who really, used to be your students), as they squealed about how the water was too cold.
but he always noticed your gaze. he turned around, smiling at you softly.
and you hated it, you felt nothing but hatred for him to the core of your heart. most of the staff noticed it, and it made it a bit awkward to work with either of you.
it was around 8:00 when your last class had ended. all your co-workers were putting the lane lines back in, preparing the pool for the swim team’s practice the following day.
“y/n? can you collect all the kick boards and put them away?” the manager, anton, asked you. “riki, go help y/n with all the other equipment.”
“what?” your mouth fell open, “anton, i can do it myself,”
“y/n.” anton cut you off. “don’t fight it. just let him help you.” he sighed before walking back into his office to pack up for the night.
you stood still in the middle of the walkway, ignoring how your coworkers moved past you to go wash up in the showers.
finally moving out the way to collect the boards, you huffed as you saw riki follow you into the storage room.
it was eerie. the lightbulb constantly went out, so the staff just figured to keep a candle and a lighter on the shelf above the bins.
riki lit the flame before going to help you clean up.
as you finished stacking the equipment, you went to walk out of the room, but riki grabbed your hand, pulling you back in.
“why do you hate me?”
“i don’t hate you.” you mumbled, before attempting to leave once more, only to be brought back to him.
he raised an eyebrow, looking you up and down.
“fine, i just don’t like you.” you scoffed. “you constantly one up me, taking my position, and even luring my students over to your class. nowadays, i don’t even get paid as much as you do anymore!”
“it’s not my fault! you act like my sole purpose was to come here and take your place.” riki grimaced at you. “maybe i am just the better instructor between us. it’s not my fault you can’t accept that.”
one might say it was out of jealous rage, or just an intolerance of immaturity. but something inside you snapped.
you shoved riki’s shoulder, causing him to fall against the wall and hit the shelf which held the candle.
from that point on, everything was in slow motion. the sound of glass breaking was loud and very audible.
the hot wax spilled across the plastic bin, melting the lid and spilling all over the foam boards which sat inside.
“what the fuck y/n?” riki yelled out.
immediately, anton came rushing in. he looked inside the bin, noticing how there was now a huge hole burnt through the container and all the boards inside. the equipment was no longer usable.
“are you serious? who’s fault was it? who did it?” he asked sturnly.
“it was y/n.” “riki did it.”
“are you kidding?!” you both exclaimed in unison.
“you knocked over the candle.” “you pushed me!” riki scoffed in disbelief. “it was foam! how do you manage to damage foam of all things?”
“enough!” anton intervened. he looked between you and riki, before moving his gaze to your red swim shirts. lifeguard, it read.
“your shirts are a symbol of your dedication and responsibility as a lifeguard and swim instructor. you may be good in the water, but you are both unbelievable outside it. if you keep this up, you could get those shirts revoked.”
“anton.. i’m so sorry.” you apologized, realizing what you done and that it technically was your fault.
“as much as i appreciate your apology, an apology won’t fix this mess. you two are on cleaning duty. i’ll call the janitor to tell him he doesn’t need to come tonight. the keys are on my desk, lock up before you leave.”
you nod in response, but riki still had something to say. “what? this is completely unfair! if anything, she should do it herself!”
but by then, anton had already left. “asshole.” he muttered. “this is all your fault y/n! by this rate we won’t finish for another hour or two.”
“by this rate, we won’t finish at all if you keep standing there and doing nothing. go grab that trash bag and mop.” you sighed.
riki was hesitant to help, but did so anyway, knowing it wasn’t up to him.
after power washing the concrete floors, scrubbing the bathrooms, and replacing all the damaged equipment, all the work was done by 10:05pm.
“good job, i guess. just wait for me then we can go.” you muttered as you finished wiping down the mirror of the employee’s bathroom.
“why would i wait for you?” he scoffed.
“you’re the one who got us in this mess.”
“i- whatever. just, let me help you.” riki licked his dry lips, taking the sponge from you.
the pool doors and the office were all locked up. you both were ready to leave before he paused right in front of the entrance.
“you wanna get something to eat? i’ll drive you home after. you shouldn’t walk by yourself and especially not on an empty stomach.”
“yeah. that’d be nice.” you replied, smiling genuinely at him for the first time.
with the both of you freshly showered yet so tired, riki drove to the nearest mcdonalds, ordering for the two of you.
after the food was picked up at the window, he pulled up at empty parking lot, turning off the engine so you could eat together.
“why are you still so nice to me after i was so rude to you?” you asked with a quiet voice, suddenly feeling bad as you reflected on your past interactions
“you know, it was never on purpose..” he whispered.
“what?” you asked, confused. his answer seemed slightly unrelated to your question.
“earlier, when we were still at the rec center. i asked why you hated me, and you said i basically replaced you.” riki reminded. “it wasn’t on purpose. i just really liked you back when you were only training me. and i thought, i don’t know.. maybe you thought it’d be attractive if you saw i was good with kids or something. but i never meant to make you feel that way.”
“oh riki..” you pouted, putting your box of chicken nuggets down. “i’m so sorry. i had no idea. i mean, if it makes you feel any better, i thought you were pretty cute when i was training you.”
“yeah, i guess that actually does help.” he smiled.
“can i..” you mumbled, leaning forward towards riki as he remained still in the drivers seat.
slowly, he moved closer to you, before eventually connecting your lips in a gentle kiss.
you moved your mouth against his, softly deepening the kiss.
riki smiled against you, and it was very noticeable. you found it cute how his face ran hot when you finally pulled away to repeatedly peck his cheek.
he brought a hand up to your face, holding you delicately. you leaned into his touch, before grimacing as you felt a slimy substance touch you.
“ew, riki!” you exclaimed, realizing his thumb had just accidentally wiped mustard under your eye.
he laughed, the sound like music to your ears, before he helped you wipe it off.
“i’m looking forward to working with you now that we don’t hate each other. maybe whenever we make eye contact mid class, you’ll stop looking at me weirdly.” you joked.
“oh come on, you know i only ever looked at you with love”. riki pursed his lips into a smirk, before bringing your lips back against his.
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ivorsblocksleeve · 10 months ago
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the mcsm fandom fuckin sucks dude
As a long time member of the furry, danganronpa, and BNHA fandom im not the type of person who likes to generalize entire fandoms based off of experiences i hear about or have with other people in said fandoms. but the MCSM fandom is such a filthy stain on the internet and so many people in the community have gotten WAY out of hand. the constant racism and whitewashing of characters. people publicly talking about NSFW topics in numerous discord servers that have children in them, sometimes with people under 13 years old. the ridiculous amount of drama surrounding character headcanons among other things. its RIDICULOUS
im a black guy. i can care less about the "issue of blackwashing", it does not exist and never has existed. i care a LOT about the whitewashing in this community. there are multiple jesse skins for a reason, to represent a ton of different peoples races! red suspenders jesse is literally WHITE! if you want to draw white jesse draw HIM! why are people whitewashing the other jesse skins? why are people whitewashing characters like radar, stella, olivia, etc?? MCSM as a game has blessed its community with a wide range of characters of different ethnicities and races (even if not directly stated) and none of them are stereotyped, theyre all incredibly well written and have great characterizations but unappreciative morons are choosing to whitewash the shit out of them :/. the characters are so easy to colorpick. theyre minecraft characters. literally pixels. coloring people of different skin colors is NOT a difficult thing. have some common sense and use references properly.
im an adult who likes adult things. as an adult i understand boundaries and that talking to minors about sexual headcanons is NOT a good thing! woah! some of you dont understand how important it is to tag certain shit on different sites correctly or how to keep conversations about NSFW topics away from people who are WAY younger than you. vague jokes are one thing but time after time ive either heard or seen myself that grown ass people are describing explicitly sexual things with minors. gross much???? and PUBLICLY of all things. its one thing to have your own friend group or whatever, its fine to discuss things in private so long as its with someone in your fucking age range but JESUS CHRIST! MCSM discord servers have become BREEDING GROUNDS for these kinds of adult NSFW discussions with minors and it only creates a domino effect where they too start sharing that in OTHER MCSM servers with OTHER minors. ITS GROSS!!
(whole paragraph above also applies to headcanons and aus that are also potentially triggering. jesus christ some things should just be kept in private convos on the internet)
and my god the DRAMA over characters its insane. its completely fine to dislike certain headcanons and to have certain opinions on them. you can publicly voice your opinions in a RESPECTFUL manner. it really is not hard.?? at all. there are a ton of headcanons i hate personally, i rant about them in private and if i ever feel like voicing about them in public ill say it in a respectful manner. if someone dislikes a headcanon you like it is not a personal attack on your entire being. relax dude. i will always agree with the statement that fiction affects reality but my god they are just FICTIONAL CHARACTERS that you do not know personally and you do NOT need to go on a rampage and witch-hunt people because people say things like "i think xyz character has a different body type!" or "i think xyz character is a certain sexuality!". this especially applies to age headcanons. ages are NOT CANON, sure there are characters that appear to be older than others but ages are always up for speculation. not everyone is going to agree with your "minor coded" headcanons, dont attack and throw proshipper/pedo accusations on people who dont? id go into the infantilization of the characters who get this kinda treatment but different problem different day. point is, headcanons are headcanons and sending swarms of people after people who disagree with them is DUMB and STUPID and NOT NICE! stop doing that
in general this fandom harbors horrible mindsets and even more horrible people who i will not name and frankly its getting very frustrating seeing how the people in this fandom treat each other. have some respect for others and also yourselves. fix up your behaviors, dont make your bad attitudes everyones problem, and spend some time off the internet. have a good day yall
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diam1nd · 4 months ago
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this comes without saying, an outstanding number of people have reached out to me w/ similar experiences ranging from gaslighting, misogynistic behaviors, guilt tripping, manipulation, love bombing, and blatant disrespect in many forms of uncomfortable messages from yes, apollo.
i had no idea just how deep this rabbit hole went, i was completely fooled from someone i deeply cared and was reminded that everything was fine and supported, and honestly i thought i was going to just let it be. but with over 17 concerned muns coming forward to share their experiences, i for one need to air out these concerns.
despite beginning to feel more comfortable, this whole situation has me in a spin. i want this to be my peace, and for all of those wanting to know the real reason my prev blog was deactivated and blocking the person who is the curator of this anxiety.
my experience was being lead into a single ship scenario because they felt intimidated by one single blog that my emma interacted with in a usfw manner. mind you, no relationship or feelings attached and i was writing with this person before developing anything irl with him. but for some reason, they were self-inserting ME as my muse, doubling it as an act of cheating on his muses, and made him uncomfortable as a person who has claimed to been deceived in that manner themselves. my immediate response was a voice call to help calm him down and reassure that everything was okay and that i am not emma, and i am not involving myself with that muse or mun in any sexual/relation based manner. it was by his recommendation that single ship would be better so that this problem would never resurface or would not have to worry in the future. at first, and i say lead because, i wasn't 100% for it at first. it felt a bit unfair because i am fully aware that i am not my muse, and this is fictional writing. but to avoid another "im deleting my blog" scenario guilt trip, i talked myself into agreeing with the single ship, to which became a reasonable standard with my blogs. when it came to making an official post, it took an incredible amount of pushing to get him to do that, and now that i really know why, is he was messaging many people for additional ships that he didn't want me to know that he wasn't honoring his end of this agreement. this past weekend, he decided that single ship wasn't good for him after i finally confronted him about the unfairness and well, here we are. me, a sentimental person, wasn't okay with going back and forth, especially when i changed how i write my own muse to better suit someones comfort levels. which is confusing to me because the initial complaint from him was he was annoyed with how people only want to ship with his ocs, all the while bad mouthing others (my friends) who partake in usfw writing. i know for a fact, if i would of agreed to go back to multiship, another problem would of popped up even tho his solution was to blacklist usfw tags so he didn't 'see' anything, despite still reporting to me on the same muns blog he had issues with. i feel it's a grab for control. and i asked him, with an open mind, how is it fair that i am to accept all of this change when he is not? me deleting for my sanity because, honestly, "now you know how i felt when emma fucked bucky" was never going to be resolved soundly. this was a grab to forcefully make me feel bad indefinitely because he didn't like something. it's possessive behavior. i was constantly told how he was going to delete everything then turn around to blame me for everything; then i asked if he could part ways with tumblr with me, and i was met with more gaslighting. this is fictional writing, we should have never gotten to this point.
there's another the issue where someone confronted him about graphics being in mirrored likeness, which i never saw myself because he wanted to keep it a quiet. said person has reached out to me and confirmed that he too tried to guilt trip them into deleting his blogs and blaming a de*th as for reason for stealing inspiration, even after claiming to change theirs in his likeness. i won't go into detail about his personal life, but i've never heard that as a reason why, especially when he's claimed to using this type of style long before this loss occurred. i did make a post via a rant, supporting one of my friends in a similar situation but he also knew very well it was also in his defense. we were on voice call, again, and he knew the moment i posted it and asked me to delete it the next day because he claims he resolved the issue. which i found out is not true. if you're going to admit to someone you stole something, why lie to me?
another mun in particular came out to admit to me that he was flirting with her, and has asked him to stop a number of times due to her being actually married. but once another callout resurfaced for them, in their experience he flaked out on being their friend because of fear of being affiliated. basically, i'm not going to allow you to pretend you don't know me online, and then try to be my friend behind closed doors in dms. when asked if he knew about these two people, the answer i got was "i saw a callout and that's about it." i'm glad she stood her ground on that because i too, felt like a secret.
more instances were brought to my attention whilst we were 'dating', he was also love bombing and getting attached to others very quickly while entertaining the idea of ME. i've been shown a history of unsolicited affection and desire for shipping his muse with everyone with a pulse and getting attached to all of these muns as well. to me, this is was shocking to learn about while you were pointing the finger at me accusing myself of blatant cheating. not once did he ever tell me anything felt forced, but that he needed me, felt lost without me.
from what im gathering from all of these muns, we were all manipulated to believe someone who claims is a charming gentleman, has the capabilities to gaslight and make you feel incredibly bad about feeling a certain way, or even stating how something was making them uncomfortable. many were fooled as i was, trying to comfort someone who clearly had a complex to receive attention from as much people as possible without them even knowing a bit of backstory. pinning people against people. these additional muns that came forward TO ME, have all explained the same level of discomfort they felt in dms with him directly. it's honestly beyond words to explain how deep this goes. i'm not going to list every single encounter thus far, because honestly.. this would be far too long and i want those others to make their peace.
i do not plan to release screenshots publicly because that's not who i am. but just know, all 17(and counting..) of us have a collection for those who want the truth. i want this post as an urged warning to be careful, no witch hunts or hate. curate your space as you see fit. i sincerely hope that those that are still by his side, do not get the treatment that we all got. i tried my best to resolve this with him privately, but was met with aggression and mockery, and now as i'm being told, pretending nothing happened.
..and because i know he will read this, for the record, i could of handled a simple break up / mutual parting ways. i'm a grown woman that would of accepted that, but you took this way too far. you've played a part in me feeling insecure about others when i shouldn't have, you selfishly kept me in your corner and made me feel in the wrong about so so many things. where you now display as we were forced. you played the blame game in attempt to get me to question my sanity and awareness of what was really going on. i didn't get a choice. im glad you were finally able to be honest to me, but i only wish you would of told me sooner. thankfully this was short lived. i never pinned you as this type of person, but good lord.
my discord alongside many many others is open to show every bit of proof we have for reference, or to just talk it out. please be safe.
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w0rmss · 4 months ago
Text
Jason Todd x reader with chronic pain
Jason won the pole but if you would like any other character or condition feel free to request
reader has joint pain and their joints like shoulder or knee can pop out really easily for a short time and cause worse pain and swelling (this is based off of my pain and experiences their is a name of it but i forgot sorry.)
tw: pain swelling of joint complaints of doctors not listening
enjoy
Getting out of bed can be hard. But getting out of bed when your knees feel like they’re going to explode is harder. You dont even try to move you’re to sore. Your body just aches. You feel beside you for Jason but of course he’s up already probably after working out in the living room and his already making breakfast while you’re stuck in bed unable to move to much with the pain coursing through your joints. It makes you feel like crap makes you feel lazy. Every doctor has told you to just exercise and pop a pain killer and you’ll be fine. Even when you explain you can’t that your knees slip and shoulders pop even when you say theirs nights you cant sleep and days you cant move much. They shrug it off. Jason is the one person stopping you from going insane. He’s seen your favourite things be effected by this he’s seen the pops and the swelling he knows how real and how bad it is.
“One of those days?” His voice cuts through your thoughts. He walks in carrying a tray of breakfast and juice settling it on your lap and taking a seat beside you. “Thank you.” You smile taking a sip of juice. Jason holds your free hand moving your wrist in circle and up and down. “Pain.” He asks as he moves up to your elbow. “Just. Shoulders and knees.” You reply watching him move up to your shoulder carefully. He hums planting a kiss to your shoulder. He gets up and moves to the other side of you and you laugh. “You dont have to.” He shakes his head. “Course i do you said working them out helps a bit more right.” You nod and Jason smiles. “Exactly so if I have to do this to ease my baby’s pain I’ll happily do it every day till i die. Again.”
After you finished your breakfast and downed a few painkillers you manage to get out of bed. Slowly you walk to the couch Jason following and watching like a hawk in case your knees give out. “Jason im fine.” You sigh as you sit down. “Could you get me and ice pack and a.” Heating pad on it.” He finishes and rushes of to get them for you returning faster than the flash. Carefully he rolled up your pyjama pants to ice your knee setting a timer. Once the timer was done he replaced the ice pack with the heating pad and repeated with the other knee. After he ha cleaned up he sat next to you and curled you into his side. “If you need anything of it gets worse teak me please.” He leans down and kisses the top of your forehead. He does so much for you and he feels like the only person who believes the pain you go through. “Thank you.” You whisper. “Don’t even you deserve everything for dealing with this shit. I’m just being a boyfriend.” He smiles and kisses you thumbing your hip.
Hope you guys enjoyed.
As i said this is based on my experience and the doctor part is very real. Please never stop advocating if you’re in pain. I genuinely thought i was loosing my mind till a teacher said her son had something similar and I wasn’t alone. Please keep pushing and making medical professionals actually listen.
Stay safe requests are open so feel free. My messages are open to if you’d prefer or even like want to blab about dc or something
thank you so much for all the support
have a wonderful day night afternoon etc
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