#not at all! not at fucking all! but it doesn't change the fact that it IS disappointing and upsetting when your religion/ethnicity

[killiaia]

PHOTO SHOOT.

Rosé x male reader.

When Rosé asked you to accompany her to her photo shoot, you immediately agreed. You're happy she asked you.

Of course, you feel out of place in the middle of it all, but when Rosé flashes you a smile between photos, you're right at home.

Rosé is absolutely gorgeous. The photos are superb and Rose was definitely born for this kind of thing. It's natural for her to pose. You wouldn't be able to do all that, it would be far too embarrassing.

What's also embarrassing is the fact that you have a boner. Which is perfectly normal when you see the kind of clothes Rosé poses in. Everything she's got on is tight. The clothes she's wearing are tight, and that makes her curves stand out.

You're trying hard to hide the fact that you've got a hard-on, but of course you've got tight jeans on, which makes your dick stand out.

It would be a shame if anyone saw that. What would you look like?

But that's your body reacting like that. Rosé is beautiful and your dick thinks so too.

You do everything to hide it. You put your hands in front but it doesn't feel natural. You try to hide behind things but every time you're asked to leave. You can't sit down and cross your legs, the jeans are too tight.

You watch Rosé go off to change and you wait. But you think the Lord wanted to test you today.

A few minutes later Rosé emerges and your eyes widen. Rosé is dressed in a pink top, but it's the mini shorts that make your mouth drop open. More precisely, what's underneath the shorts.

Rosé spins around and you notice that her buttocks are sticking out of the shorts.

God, Rosé looks sexy in those. If she'd worn those just for you, you'd have fucked her so hard.

And that's when it's hard for you. Rosé carries on with her photo shoot as if nothing had happened, while you're having a hard time of it.

When Rosé leans forward a little and her buttocks stick out, you're forced to bite your fist. You reach a point where you look away.

When the photographer announces the end of the photo shoot, you almost cry.

Happily, Rosé comes over to you. Before you know it, it's just the two of you and Rose has reached your full height.

"Did you like it? "Rosé asks you innocently.

With a wave of your finger, you ask her to come forward. Rosé listens, but you can see she's wondering.

“Give me your hand. "

Rosé holds out her hand and you grab it. You can see she's lost. You put her hand on your cock and Rose's eyes widen.

"Does that answer your question? "

Reddened cheeks, you see Rosé flash a sexy smile. The young woman turns her back to you and what she's doing almost makes you moan.

Rosé leans forward, giving you a magnificent view of her ass. Rosé spreads her shorts with her hand and it's a good thing you've got self-control, otherwise you'd have fucked her right here.

However, you grab her hips and pull her to you. Rosé straightens up and you attack her neck with a kiss. You run your hands over and knead both her breasts. Rosé moans but you silence the moan by turning her face and kissing her. Rosé sticks her buttocks to your cock as you kiss her.

"I feel your cock against me.

"I want to fuck you. "

“Do it. Fuck me. "

You run your hand down to her shorts and trace the folds of her pussy.

"You're so fucking wet."

"Just for you. "

With your other hand you turn her face and kiss her while you insert a finger into her pussy. Rosé moans into your mouth and you feel her hand caress your cock through your jeans.

"If it were up to me, I'd have fucked you from the start of this photo shoot. “

Rosé grabs your face and deepens the kiss as you insert a second finger inside her. You accentuate the pleasure by kneading one of her breasts. Between your fingers you grab her nipple and pinch lightly. Rosé clings to you, seeking the friction between her ass and your cock.

"You're going to cum here and then we'll go to your dressing room and I'll fuck you in these shorts. "

Rosé wants to say something but you insert your fingers into his mouth. Rosé licks your fingers and you concentrate on fingering the singer's pussy.

Rosé tries to mumble something like "I'm going to come" but you don't care. You continue to pleasure her and after a few seconds your fingers are expelled from her vagina and Rosé lets out a hoarse moan. You grab her and carry her so she doesn't fall over from the orgasm and Rose puts her hands around your neck and trembles.

"Good girl. Kiss me."

Rosé raises her head and kisses you.

"Now let's go to your dressing room and I'll fuck you."

"Please. "Rosé says gently.

Still with Rosé in your arms, you walk towards the singer's dressing room. Rosé takes the opportunity to kiss your neck.

You open the door and gently put Rosé back down.

"Hands on the wall, I'm going to eat your pussy"

Rosé lets out a groan and moves into position. She places her hands on the wall and arches her back slightly, giving you a magnificent view.

You lick your lips and come up behind her. You glue your pelvis to her buttocks and Rosé immediately looks for friction.

With your hand, you knead her buttocks, which peek out from the shorts. You kiss Rosé on the neck and she turns to kiss you. You respond to her request and kiss her. Rosé inserts her tongue into your mouth and you accentuate the pressure on her buttocks with your hand. With your fingers, you pull her shorts apart and begin to touch her pussy. You stifle a moan from Rosé and insert a finger inside her.

After one last kiss, you kneel behind her. You push aside her shorts and the sight of her ass makes your mouth water.

Her pussy looks so good you waste no time and with your hands, you spread her buttocks and lick her pussy

"Fuck yes." Rosé swears.

With your tongue you trace the lines of her pussy. You lick her folds and hear Rosé moan. You flick Rosé's vagina with your tongue and Rosé flicks her pelvis to increase the pressure. With both hands you grab her bottom and insert your tongue into her pussy hole. Rosé has to catch herself on the wall, it's so good.

"I love it so much when you eat my pussy",

"Your pussy is so wet. "

You run your hand along the front and find Rosé's clitoris. Gently you put pressure on it and Rosé lets out a moan.

With your tongue in her pussy hole and her clit between your fingers, the young singer is just a mess.

You feast on her pussy. You don't stop. You have only one goal in mind: to make Rosé cum. Rosé is almost pressed up against the wall by the pressure you're putting on.

But it doesn't bother her, on the contrary, Rosé is so happy. When you withdraw into your tongue, Rosé wants to protest but her protest dies in her mouth when you insert two fingers into her pussy.

"Yes baby. Finger me."

You listen to your girlfriend and speed up the pace of your fingers and Rosé slams her head against the wall and spreads her ass.

"Can you lick my asshole while you finger me? "

You accede to your girlfriend's request and start licking her hole.

"I'm about to cum. "

Youfeel Rosé tremble and you stand up to catch her.

You press her against you and Rose trembles against your chest.

"What a good girl. "

Rosé turns to you and kisses you passionately. She grabs your face and slides her tongue into your mouth. With your hands, you knead her buttocks and Rosé lets out a moan into your mouth.

"Hands against the wall. I'm going to fuck you. "

After one last kiss, Rosé turns around and resumes the same position as before. You see that the young woman wants to take off her shorts but you stop her.

"Keep the shorts on. "

Rosé nods and you undo your belt and pants. Your erection is finally free.

With one of your hands, you spread the shorts and with your other hand you guide your cock to her pussy.

You tease Rosé. With your cock you trace the lines of her pussy.

" Baby don't tease me. Just fuck me. "

“You've been teasing me all afternoon. I'm entitled to a little fun, aren't I? "

You slide your cock between her thighs and Rosé moans at the contact.

"A Tightjob? " Rosé asks sensually.

"Why not. "

Rosé listens to you and starts going through the motions. The sensation is too good. You watch your cock disappear between Rosé's thighs.

You also feel her pussy juices against your cock

. "My cock is so wet. It looks like you're enjoying it just as much as I am. "

Rosé doesn't respond, she's far too focused on her task.

With your hands, you grab Rosé's hips and help her make the move.

Rosé's buttocks slap against you and you decide to kiss the young woman on the neck, causing her to moan.

"Put your cock inside me. "Begs Rosé.

"Why? I'm fine between your thighs." You answer slyly.

" Because I want you to fuck me against the wall like the slut I am in these shorts and then I want you to fill me with cum. "

You stop all movements and Rosé may have said something stupid. She wants to say something but you've just penetrated her and Rosé has to hold on to the wall so she doesn't fall.

You've entered her like an animal. Rosé's words have been like an aphrodisiac, and all you can think about right now is fucking Rosé.

And that's what you're doing. All you hear is the sound of flesh against flesh and Rosé's cries of pleasure.

Her hips in your hands, you pound the singer's ass.

"You fuck me so good…”

With one of your hands, you slap her ass, garnering a cry of pleasure from the singer.

"Fuck, I really am your bitch. I'm so addicted to your cock. "

Rosé lets out a little cry of surprise as you grab her and place her still on all fours, but this time in front of the mirrors.

With your hand, you grab her hair and force her to always straighten your cock inside her.

"Look at yourself in the mirror. Look how beautiful you are when you take my cock. "

Rosé looks at you both in the mirror and the sight is erotic. With your other hand, you pull out one of her breasts and Rosé moans at the sight.

"Look at your beautiful breasts."

You turn her on her side and tell her to look at the mirror. With this view Rosé sees you penetrate her.

"Look at that, Rosé. Look how easily my cock enters you. Your pussy was made for my cock. "

“I'm going to cum! "Said Rosé.

"Oh but I'm counting on it yes. You're going to cum on my cock and then I'm going to fill you up so much. "

Rosé, holding herself with one hand on the edge of the make-up plane, puts butt strokes in to deepen the penetration.

With one of your hands, you pull her hair and with the other hand, you slap her ass.

Stimulated in several places, Rosé cries out in pleasure and you feel her vaginal walls contract around your cock.

Rosé is taken by surprise when you lower your hand to her clitoris. You pinch it gently before starting to touch it.

It's only a matter of minutes before Rosé comes. And it happens faster than expected.

The pleasure is too much for Rosé and you feel your cock being ejected from her vagina. But it's not like usual, Rosé has just squirted.

It's the first time it's happened and Rosé can't get a word in edgewise. She alternates between moaning and nervous laughter.

"Wow." You reply.

"I...it ne..never..ha.. happened..before.." manages to articulate Rose.

"And it will happen later. "

Rosé turns her head towards you, but a wave of pleasure overtakes her. You penetrate her again and the singer lets out a moan.

"I'm still sensitive..."

"I know. "

You don't give Rosé time to respond and resume the same rhythm as before. You're not going to last long.

Rose's pussy is far too wet and it's only after several strokes that you pour yourself into her.

Rosé stands against the make-up table and you stand back, admiring your art.

Rosé is bent over the table, your cum pouring out of her pussy. You slap her ass, eliciting a small cry.

"If all photo shoots end up like this, I should come more often." You say.

"You SHOULD come to all my photo shoots from now on. "

With your hand you knead one of her buttocks.

"With pleasure. “

[prettealolilol]

i like to think about the duality of the kids about people shipping Bruce with anyone, because the guy has been elected as the most handsome man in the country for years, has this whole playboy Brucie persona and is often seen with someone at his arms (men and women)

on one side, they'll be like "ew god no, i do not want to imagine dad like-" and "oh my god some people actually ship Bantman and Joker wtf ??" and they'll do their best to filter every social media to avoid any thirsty or shipping content about Bruce

when the press ask them about it, they be like:

Tim : "Would you like it if I asked about your thoughts on your dad cheating on your mom with his secretary ? No ? Then mind your own business." when the dad was in fact cheating with his secretary and now everybody knew because Tim was live when he answered

Jason, pulling out a gun : "i swear to god i'll shoot the next person who asks me this and then i'll shoot myself. Ugh, do i look like i fucking care about the old man's sex life ?"

Dick, smiling uncomfortably : "i don't really live at the manor anymore and i barely see him with my job so you know..." when it has been in fact a week he's been sleeping at the manor after patrolling with Batman

Damian, frowning as usual, looking at the guy who asked him as if he did not have a brain : "Father is careful in not mixing his carnal activities with the family life so i do not have any hindsight on his sex life. i do not wish to know regardless." the journalist is taken aback by the explicit answer of this ten year old, while his brothers are trying not to laugh behind him (Jason was not hiding his snickering)

on the other side, you cannot tell me those guys are not the biggest shippers in the world

like Jason would want Batman to date Wonder Woman just so she could be his step mom. i strongly believe the guy has a ao3 and tumblr account and is very much active on both. he definitely reads batman x green lantern fics just to annoy Bruce (even though his dad has no idea, but still gets shivers when Jason is reading one)

Dick and Duke both ship SuperBat although for different reasons. for Dick, that's his uncle there, he was there when they met and saw them as they slowly became best friends. he strongly believes they are made for each other. Duke just think it would be super cool (no pun intended) if the Superman and the Batman were dating.

Stephanie just likes to roll with it, some days she feels like shipping superbat, others she'll be more into batcat, or batlantern. she's pretty volatile and doesn't really have a favourite, but when she gets into one she's all in. she'll be arguing and insulting people online who disagrees, sharing crazy theories...

Cass doesn't really care, she'll listen to any of her siblings ranting about their thoughts (especially Steph) and juts find it adorable (and funny how much they care)

Tim probably ships superbat because they are completely opposed, and he finds the parallels really interesting. he definitely writes fics (Jay reads his fics and they exchange about it without knowing it's each other)

Damian doesn't really see the point. but he has drawn of few fanart (Jason tried to bribe him with money once and Damian had to remind him of his inheritance) when Bruce benched Tim and him and he ended up drawing some batlantern that Tim printed and plastered all over the manor. Bruce had to restrain the access to the printer (Tim hacked into it the next day)

Barbara, although she doesn't really ship, is the one you go to if you search some content, she'll find you the most heart wrenching, 200 thousand words, slow brun, angst/comfort fics you'll ever read (the type of fic that changes you deep into your soul). she still likes debating with the batkid

Regardless, if there's one things they all agree on, it is Bruceman (love those fics were the batkids just go along with it). like it's hilarious but the fans make some pretty good points and they are in fact impressed. it's also the safest ship as it would not happen in any situations so they don't have to worry about their dad being stolen

[searchingforserendipity25]

it's a good thing conclave didn't waste any time on making the stories about catholic orders and their in-fighting. and probably i shouldn't either because i am not informed enough about it to go on at length. pls take all of this w a grain of salt.

but i know in my heart of hearts that aldo bellini is a progressive liberal jesuit, the holy father's specialest most progressive liberal italian-american jesuit.

look at him. look at his glasses. those are the glasses of a man who did his dissertation on reinterpreting loyola through a contemporary reformist lens. academic wunderkid. has sooo much beef w the editors of american jesuit weekly. possibly the events of conclave are occurring in a better more beautiful world where aldo bellini is the editor of american jesuit weekly.

the late holy father for sure was a progressive jesuit also. vr pope francis coded. and low-key set him up as a successor. for a while, that seemed nearly a sure thing in some circles.

but there is the fact. well. the fact that everyone is tired, done and tired of jesuits, progressive or otherwise.

this among other factors meant he couldn't consider him the best option, besides whatever character judgement and uncanny machievallien prediction he came up with.

adeyemi has that benedictine swag which makes his potential election particularly seem like a breath of fresh air + reliable + lots of influence. tremblay is giving dominican drip and dominican corruption. and dominican flop. his nespresso machine? it's giving dominican also.

tedesco has to be an italian-founded order member. most hypocrital salesian of all times maybe?? this is unrelated to the fact that i was nearly enrolled in a salesian primary school and the weirdly panopticon-ish playground didn't pass the vibe check. and also because: consider tedesco rising in the ranks of an order created to help migrant workers...someone kick him in the head for me pls.

who even knows about benítez. i want to say franciscan but that might be just too on the nose. cistercian?? honestly it would work well if he is also without affiliation.

this lens does make lawrence's homily being interpreted as a campaign speech more understandable (and particularly funny).

because, as far as anyone can tell, he's fully running as an independent candidate. zero platform besides - if i fuck up i'll apologize and do better and be held accountable, which is more than any of you probably would.

and because he stands alone, he can be held accountable. he can belong to all, and not one faction only. as far as anyone can tell, he's burning bridges with bellini and rocking the statues quo.

he is speaking to/from a place of frustration with institutional inertia and factionalism, he is using his position as dean to bravely promote a platform for internal change in the curia, he is offering doubt as an alternative to certainty, he is pulling an absolute wildcard move.

pity he didn't mean it.

pity the the only order lawrence is interested in joining is the most hardcore discalced carmelite experience possible.

you know how some people look into luxurious real estate listings like it's porn? that's lawrence w tiny monasteries. the sort of minuscule organization with not enough people for management to be necessary. too small for politics. as close to erasure as you can get in this world: no need to be useful.

serving god by existing only to meditate on him. a narrow slant of a life, at that. barely taking up space, barely casting a shadow.

his favorite is a decrepit wreck of a place in the middle of southern spain, nowhere. no wifi no speaking aloud no possessions. no shoes no food. no nothing, only prayer. and a big big sky overhead.

maybe that will fix his issues with reaching god. if that doesn't work he'll probably just wander into the tabernas desert and become an hermit. works for some people, supposedly; plenty of order founders seem to believe so, anyway.

[salmaciansalix]

Fuck, realised I have more to say about this.

Tags I originally reblogged:

Furthermore, how the fuck do you think this shit makes trans men and mascs feel?? You either don't think they're men, or make a creepy exception for them?

A lot of folks are saying some variation of "they're born with the power to oppress" so once again, what about that bioessentialist shit doesn't include trans women and fems? How do you contort your feelings about this to exclude both trans women and trans men? Does being trans make you wholly different from cis folk? That sucks too, you see that, right?

I really cannot emphasize enough how much this is a fucking death cult. You cannot affect meaningful change while insisting half of everybody is inherently evil, or bolstering the implicit corollary, that the other half are all saints.

If all of that doesn't sway you, maybe the fact that you make me, a clocky trans femme lesbian, feel deeply fucking unsafe, will. I'm deeply afraid of people like you. I am keenly aware that I am teetering on a knife's edge of being de-womaned and ostracized because I laughed too loudly, or didn't immediately side with another woman against a man.

Do fucking better.

[steviewashere]

I think Eddie would've thought Bruce Springsteen was badass. He'd listen to Born in the U.S.A. and immediately delve into analyzing it, would completely understand it. He'd love the whole leather jacket + denim vest combo Springsteen wears.

Just considering the kind of music already listen to. Like, he latched onto a Metallica song about drug addiction/drug use/dealing. One of his favorite bands is Judas Priest—frontman is gay and also they had a controversy alongside Cyndi Lauper when it came to parental advisories and censoring music. The acoustic guitar he has in his room is a direct reference to Woody Guthrie's acoustic!

While I understand the general consensus is that he'd dislike Springsteen because it's "mainstream rock" music or whatever the hell we use to describe Steve's music taste, I think he'd actually be completely down with Steve's taste. He'd love Queen. He'd love Springsteen. Of course, too, he'd love traditional American folk music.

Metal may be one way to define him, but I think he's a flower that blooms, reaching for sunlight—the sunlight is simply music as a whole, every sun ray a different song, artist, and genre he enjoys. He seems to like Woody Guthrie, he'd probably enjoy Peter Seeger. He likes Metallica and Megadeath. As well as Judas Priest and Accept and Black Sabbath/Ozzy Osbourne and Dio and W.A.S.P—though I think that last one would change, considering how disgusting WASP is; I just don't think that taste would particularly fit his character for much longer.

I just think with how expressively colorful his entire character is—from being the savior of lost sheep, the actually sensitive kid he's never shown, a guy who's willing to shed away prejudices the moment he's faced with reality—it doesn't make much sense to me to keep him in this one-note 'metal only' box. He has a much broader taste, even if he wants to deny it at first. Like, he's definitely way more knowledgeable about music as a whole than a lot of writers give him credit for. Just the mere fact that his acoustic is a direct reference to Guthrie's guitar where it originally reads "This machine kills fascists" is enough to tell me that he knows more than we say. And the tidbit about Ozzy Osbourne and the bat? Yeah, he'd know all about Judas Priest and parental guidance warnings, too. He'd also think Cyndi Lauper is badass on that last note.

Maybe he keeps to himself for a bit all the kinds of music he enjoys or knows about, but he definitely doesn't hold on for that long. Maybe he plays a bit of cat and mouse with Steve, denying that Steve's taste is actually fucking incredible, but he doesn't play that tag game for much longer. He'd probably just give Steve a hard time at first because they're new to knowing each other—he has a facade to put on, after all; he can't let all his cards and colors show.

[curapicas]

Things that are sending me into an early grave:

Lu Guang is on the side of the HOME team.

Their TIME being 00:00. This could be both the fact they're out of time but also the timer starting at their meeting.

This being solid proof that yingdu arc is representing LG as a parallel to CXS' parents (esp CWM); whether it turns out that the parents are protecting CXS on their own way or not, LG is the one who stays, and CXS is VERY aware of that.

Who started with the high five for important stuff? I have no idea in the 1st timeline, but LG reinforces it at all turns (but personally, this seems like a very CXS thing to start)

My growing suspicion that LG wasn't as verbose as he is with his words of affirmation in the 1st timeline, which is crazy to me. Bro is out there hanging on CXS's every encouraging word, but doesn't realize his own tenderness can change the timeline? (for the better, btw. I'm sure CXS agrees)

idk even the fact the stands are barely in the picture bc they don't care abt audience or the fact there are twin trees in the background is fucking me up

[nkogneatho]

me and pasi active at the same time?? rare occurances today wifey

but hiiiiiii here's my mandatory ask🤍🤍🤍

and since we're on about toxic exes today, what about toxic ex (specifically DILF) Iwazumi?

not iwa😭 he's actually so sweet but yeah when his possessive side takes over, that's when you're fucked.

i feel like iwaizumi takes advantage of the fact that his little princess, his baby girl is obsessed with you. you promise the baby that even after you've broken up, you'll still come over to play with her. and that's when he knows that he still has the chance.

dilf!iwa is making video calls (while his coworkers can't even get a text back) to you every evening, keeping you updated on what his little girl did today in the playgroup. sometimes he'll call you to babysit because he has an emergency at work (he doesn't) but he always makes sure to come back before you leave, watching you draw cute figures with her. he smiles.

when he finally convinces you to stay the night during a bad weather, he feels like the universe is on his side. you've finally put the little girl to bed after reading her a bed time story. hajime whips out two glasses of wine and you accept.

you're in the kitchen, venting to him about work and he is analyzing your every muscle that moves. a smile tugs at his lips when you tell him a funny story. he doesn't find it funny. he is smiling at you. the air goes still when your laughter slowly fades after realizing he's looking at you, the same way he used to before. nothing changed. you gulp a thick ball of air with each step he takes towards you. he takes the glass off your hand and sets it on the counter before placing his hands on your hips. you know what's coming. his lips finally catches yours, pulling you in an alluring kiss. shit. you missed this. but iwa doesn't fuck you that night. he leaves you with all types of questions in your head, psychoanalyzing the situation. he wants you to come to him. this way, you'll have no option but to stay because you made the choice.

and

you do come back. and this time, you don't leave till he's cum in you at least five times. and that's when you realize, you stopped being on pills after you both broke up.

fuck.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Further thoughts that didn't fit in the initial review:

Lost World is the better adventure story, getting the characters to the island and facing major problems almost right away. I'm torn whether that or Jurassic Park is the better novel overall, because Lost World has better writing and thematic coherence but IMHO Jurassic Park has a stronger plot and cast.

It fascinates me that the prologue hinges on Carter (and her PAs) not knowing that "raptor" can refer to dinosaurs as well as birds of prey. Because nowadays — thanks to Jurassic Park — "raptor" is so synonymous with dinosaurs that that's most people's first association, even when you're talking about modern birds.

Maybe I read too much fantasy, but I do feel like Harding Sr. has tons of wasted potential. His expertise is potentially more valuable even than Muldoon's, and even if he doesn't know a ton about human medicine he still knows more than anyone else on the island. He almost literally gets put on a bus — Muldoon has a line about him having been evacuated hours ago, offscreen, when getting Grant et al to the helipad — and it feels like the story loses sight of him. Then again, maybe it's just that Harding Jr. is one of my all-time favorite characters in fiction (reading Lost World, I am Kelly) and I want more of her dad.

Most of the changes in the movie align well with the book thematically — again, Crichton knows Hollywood and knew how to sign that deal — but one that I want to commend is tweaking Lex's character. She's kind of a plot moppet in the book, so having her be the one to fix the computers in the movie felt like better pay-off.

It's delightful watching Hammond lose his park and his life because a) he refused to pay Nedry fairly, and b) he refused to hire enough employees to run the place properly. Maybe in the real world shitty corner-cutting managers don't get eaten by compies, but it's awesome fantasizing about that being the natural consequence of corner-cutting.

You know what else is delightful? Ice cream made with fresh ginger. I tried it after reading this book, and would recommend.

I love how the movie gets around the limitations of the technology to imply things that can't be shown onscreen. We still haven't figured out a good way to film animals that move as fast as the T. rex is described as moving (slow-mo is the only workaround). So the movie has the characters in a Jeep driving at 60 MPH, and shows the T. rex in the rearview mirror, gaining on them. It gets the point about "slow dinos are a failure of human imagination" across, without having to speed up the film of their T. rex puppet.

Crichton isn't super funny, but he has his moments. Malcolm's "You know, at times like this one feels, well, perhaps extinct animals should be left extinct. Don't you have that feeling now?" as he's watching the T. rex advance on their car — gets me every time. Fuck off, Cassandra.

Someone assumed I was joking when I said the book's plot hinges on trans lesbian velociraptors. I am not, in fact, joking.

I really want you to get started on Jurassic Park now after reading your tags.

All right, you asked for it! This post is going to be long because I've been rereading Jurassic Park since I was about 10 years old. But. My thoughts:

Jurassic Park is the oldest story in the world: one about hubris, and the price men pay for their pride. From the first moment the protagonists step foot on the island, they can see it. There are poisonous plants next to the pool because they "look pretty." The harbor has no retaining wall because tropical storms aren't considered important. It's a story where you respect nature, or you die. Wu doesn't bother to learn the dinosaurs' names before breeding them, Nedry ignores them as unprogrammable, Malcolm mansplains them to their own creators, Regis laughs at the idea of them escaping, Hammond relentlessly monetizes them, Arnold insists he can control them... And they all get eaten by dinosaurs. It's the characters with the good sense to be overawed and scared (Muldoon, Gennaro, the paleontologists, the kids) who make it out alive. Almost paradigm.

More specifically, it's a book about the most fundamental principle of engineering: be scared, be confused, and then do something anyway. Then do something else, then something else, until something works. Timmy isn't a master hacker in the book; he's just (unlike Grant) willing to push buttons on the computer until he finds the power grid. Gennaro's still a scaredy cat in the book, but he clenches his teeth and goes into the velociraptor nest anyway. The heroic characters are the ones who conclude someone has to do something, despite not knowing what that something is. The villainous ones are the ones who refuse responsibility.

Speaking of which, can we talk about Ian Malcolm? I'm a sucker for a good Cassandra character, especially one that manages to get even the genre-savvy reader rolling their eyes and going "will you shut up?" And Malcolm is one of the best, every off-putting academic habit rolled into one: He thinks he's better than other people for not liking sports. He brags about not caring about appearances and then comments on Sattler's legs. He assumes Hammond has read his monograph and — when Hammond reveals he hasn't — pulls out a copy that he keeps on his person at all times to have Hammond read on the plane. He smugly explains that other characters should've foreseen they'd be killed by dinosaurs, only to be killed by dinosaurs. He calls his theory the Malcolm Effect. I do love Jeff Goldblum's gentler, more charming take on the character ("See, here, now I'm sitting by myself, talking to myself, that's chaos theory" I say literally every time I ask a question of someone who just left the room). But I prefer the way original Malcolm gets away with being right about everything because we so so badly want him to be wrong.

Speaking of that comment about the legs: by the low low bar of 80s/90s thriller writers, Crichton is surprisingly progressive. Jurassic Park invites us to laugh with (and roll our eyes with) Sattler, every time someone expresses shock the world's top paleobotanist is a woman. The Lost World perfectly captures the "women in STEM have to be twice as competent to get half the respect" dynamic, and it's a story about the male characters over-estimating their own competence as the female ones go about saving the day. Race isn't handled perfectly, but it is discussed in both books. Malcolm's chauvinism is designed to make everything else he says a bitter pill, to poison us against him. Crichton's no feminist. But Sattler's hardiness — later Harding's and Kelly's as well — are shown as hard-won in a world that batters nerdy girls so hard that only the toughest survive.

And Malcolm is just one of the many ways Jurassic Park masterfully lampoons scientific bullshit. After little Tina is bitten by a "strange lizard" and nearly dies from the swelling, Dr. Cruz assures her parents that lizards bite zookeepers all the time, that some people are allergic to lizard venom, and that the lizard Tina drew resembles a basilisk — and then we cut to him talking to his fellow MD. Where we find out that lizards don't attack humans in the wild, no human they know of has ever been hospitalized for a lizard bite, basilisks aren't venomous, and Tina's condition doesn't resemble an allergic reaction. They have no idea what this "lizard" (a Procompsognathus) could be or how it poisoned this kid, but they've been taught to obfuscate rather than admit that. Scientists are arrogant, and ignorant of their ignorance.

But the book is every bit as positive about empiricism as it is negative about individual scientists. The seamless way Crichton blends science fiction with science fact gets me every time. His preface connects Watson & Crick to Swanson & Boyer to Malcolm & Levine, explaining each step of the research process as he goes. He goes on to explain how Genetech developed its ideas from IBM, and that IBM and Genetech both contributed to InGen, which in turn influenced Biosyn, funded by Hamaguri... and only two of those names are fictional, but don't worry about which. Crichton does his homework, and then he presents his homework in the most compelling way of any writer I've ever encountered.

You need no further proof than the technologies — satellite phones, electric cars, touchscreens, gene editing — that were sci fi in 1990, commonplace today. Crichton did the reading. And he rolls that science out ever-so-slowly: dribbling first the mystery of the worker with a 3-foot gash in his torso who claims a bird of prey did it, then the mystery of the resort that needs the world's most powerful data storage, then the mystery of the billionaire who calls in the middle of the night with "urgent" questions about what baby dinosaurs eat... Until even 10-year-old me could look at that picture of a fractal and go "ohhh, I see how the unstable phase shifts of chaos theory explain the fact that a thunderstorm caused that guy to get eaten by a T. rex." Almost paradigm.

And all Jurassic Park's banging on about chaos theory belies a deep understanding of how interconnected ecosystems are. Animals, like plants, like subatomic particles, must be understood holistically. Pretending that the best way to learn the truth of any system is through breaking it down "is like saying scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast is human nature. It's nothing of the sort. It's uniquely Western training." Crichton clearly loves biology: "a single fertilized egg has a 100,000 genes, which act in a coordinated way, switching on and off at specific times, to transform that single cell... A house is simple in comparison. But even so, workmen build the stairs wrong, they put the sink in backward, the tile man doesn't show up when he's supposed to. All kinds of things go wrong. And yet the fly that lands on the workman's lunch is perfect." And he clearly hates what capitalism has done to biotechnology.

Hammond the venture capitalist is a perfectly despicable villain: No dinosaurs have escaped, because I said so. If there are problems, no there aren't. Put on a good show for investors, no matter how many contractors die in the process. Talk about all the "good" the park will do by making tons of money. The kids are stranded and the tech expert's dead? No they're not, because I said so, now pass the ice cream. It's truly a delight watching him get eaten by dinosaurs.

For that matter, Jurassic Park is bursting with details of style over substance. There are cutesy Apatosaurus cutouts in the hotel rooms and bars on the widows, a half-finished restaurant covered in Pterosaur poop, and a celebrity-narrated tour track that can't synchronize with the dinosaurs. It's trying to be Disney World, and it's actually a roadside zoo. The signage — "When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth," the hand-lettered "Welcome to Jurassic Park", the room (and department) called "Control" — isn't subtle in its irony. But it is fun.

Which is yet another great sci fi trick. "Our funding is infinite but our peer review sucks" perfectly sets up the blend of the accurate with the plot-fueling (likely why Crichton reuses it several times). Why are there Pterosaurs in a dinosaur park? Our funding is infinite but our peer review sucks. Why are so many Cretaceous dinosaurs in Jurassic Park? Our funding is infinite but our peer review sucks. You didn't know Dilophosaurus is venomous? Our funding is infinite... It's perfect, because it's the opposite of how the scientific process usually works. Again: Crichton knows his shit, and he knows how to communicate it.

Like, even when I'm reading Sphere or Terminal Man — books where I'm perfectly aware I know more than Crichton on the subject, not in the least because their science inevitably became outdated — I still find myself believing, at least for the length of the story. You don't have to suspend disbelief when reading Crichton's work; he hoists it into the stratosphere for you. Half the time he won't give it back even after you're done. Almost paradigm.

But despite all that nerdery, Jurassic Park is still a rocking adventure story that builds momentum until it smashes to its conclusion at 70 miles an hour, ending the millisecond it can do so with not a word of denouement. You can practically hear that last deep piano note on the final words. It's cinematic as hell. This is Crichton post-Westworld, pre-Twister, the ultimate adventure writer. He reads, clearly, avoiding the errors of sci fi amateurs who watch too many movies (the T. rex has a distinctive smell, the island is relentlessly humid, so on) but he knows how to make a tight fast-moving story that you can consume in under three hours. His imagery is powerful, his pacing is on point, and his plot sucks you in and shoots you out like a water slide.

Jurassic Park is fun. It's informative. It makes you laugh, and gasp, and sigh, and think. It has its flaws (Harding Sr. fades out in the 3rd act, Grant's Maiasaura expertise never pays off) but those are minor in a book that stands up so well to rerereading. Almost paradigm.

[ropebunnykant]

i actually cannot get over how much kant and his outlook have completely fucking changed since ep8. like we see hints of it throughout ep8 and 9, but the scene that drives it home is when he's convincing bison to let him help.

like he just the way he talks to bison about it all, it sounds almost like a threat. i am GOING to help you start over, we are GOING to have our future together, even if i have to take down everyone in our way. he doesn't phrase it like a discussion because he's telling bison outright that he's gonna help him whether he likes it or not. but he also doesn't frame it with any doubt. kant believes, wholeheartedly, that they are going to make it out of this and figure it out.

and it's just... it's such a contrast to who he was in the first six episodes. kant spent so much of his life resigned to everything. he never had a choice in anything he did, never had hope that things would work out for him. in ep6 he had to resign himself to the fact that there was no way for him to win, no way out where he was happy because he was going to lose someone no matter what he did. he looked at style's hope and dismissed it because he didn't think it was for him, that nothing had ever worked out for him before, he had no reason to believe this would.

like i keep thinking about kant in that interview from before the show aired, saying he doesn't have any dreams. i think about kant in ep5 saying that if he hadn't had other things going on, he may have actually had the potential to play basketball professionally. i think about kant in ep9 saying he never got to play as a kid, either, cause he had to grow up fast to take care of babe. kant, who spent his whole life taking care of his brother and never got to live for himself. kant, who never dared to dream, never dared to hope, now dreaming and hoping and willing to do anything he can to get himself and the man he loves the life they deserve.

i said that kant jumping in the water was a baptism, and i think seeing this new version of kant proves it so much. when kant jumped into the water, he left that old version of him behind. he woke up after that, in a warm bed, in clean clothes, safe and dry, and he knew without a doubt that bison loved him and wouldn't hurt him. and that revelation alone allowed him to finally, for once, see a future for himself. bison saw kant as a way out in the beginning, and that's exactly what kant knows bison as now. his way out, his future, his hope. and the fact that he isn't willing to take no for an answer, that he's not only sure but willing to fight and do whatever needs to be done to get them that future.

like it's just. kant, finally beloved and not willing to let that love go no matter what it takes. kant, the powerless, now kant, taking back his power. kant, the resigned, now kant, the fighter. kant, the hopeless now kant, the hopeful.

[dragonsdendoodles]

Do you have any trans Enoch head cannons?

You know I do and quite a few of these are angsty. No I'm not sorry

He never actually came out to anyone, I don't think. He hates explaining it to people so he just doesn't. If someone he doesn't know asks why he sounds like that or why he's so small, he'll make something up about his age or genetics, but if it's someone he's close to he just gets kind of quiet and tries to change the subject.

The others do know about it--Enoch isn't exactly great at being subtle about anything. There were some awkward conversations, and there was a bit of fumbling here and there due to confusion on some of the more sheltered kids' end, but they all accept him. There hasn't been any conflict or anything about that. (In fact, a good handful of the others are trans too.)

There's only been one incident in the Acre thus far because of it, and it started because he and Horace were being a little less careful about being gay in public in 1886 than they should have been, and also because Enoch is physically incapable of shutting his mouth and is happy to list off plenty of reasons he's going to hell when prompted.

On bad dysphoria days he doesn't leave the basement, not even for food. He only lets Miss Peregrine, Horace, and Bronwyn in his room to bring him meals. (The others can come in if they ask really nicely, but he doesn't like it because he knows how bitchy he can come across sometimes and he feels bad about it.) This does not get better after the whole face scar thing.

No one in the house knows his deadname. No one would ask, but he's still not telling you.

Someone suggested he named himself after his peculiarity (the Book of Enoch is about the revolt of God's angels before the flood. Fall of Lucifer, stuff like that) and I fucking love that idea and I'm stealing it. That's canon now fight me

Enoch has had... not great experiences with people outside of Miss Peregrine's loop finding out about this. It was another big reason alongside his peculiarity that he was treated so badly in his old loop. Sometimes that makes him refuse to talk loud enough for anyone but whoever's next to him to hear, because "people always guess right, and then I open my mouth and they 'correct' themselves."

Horace helps a lot, doing anything from helping him pick out clothes to actually yelling at people for making transphobic comments even if they weren't actually about Enoch, which makes Enoch happier than he thinks he has any right to be. Horace insists this is stupid and is happy to be the big loud scary one for once so Enoch won't feel as bad.

[sunarots]

taste ━━━ suna rintarou & miya osamu

16. no more faking ♡

cw. mention of sick in images + the fact at the bottom

Walking out of the bathroom still drying your hair with the towel, you find Osamu sprawled across the small couch with the remote in his hand. He flicks through his Netflix, the exhaustion clear across his face.

"Thanks for that, I no longer feel dirty," you joke, wrapping your hair in the towel before sitting on the arm of his couch. "Do you want me to go so you can sleep?"

He hums as he looks over to you with a frown. "No, you can stay. As long as you find something to watch." He holds the remote out to you as an invitation, waiting for you to accept.

You take the remote from him and begin scrolling through the different shows and movies under his recommended. Osamu kicks his feet off the couch and plants them on the floor, making space for you to sit beside him. He rests his arms on the back of the cushions and watches as you scroll through the shows.

"Movie? Or series?" you ask, pursing your lips.

"Go for a series. Something we've seen?"

You nod slowly, searching for anything. "The Office?"

"Yeah, stick it on."

You select the first episode and set the remote between you, leaning back further into the couch. After a few minutes of silence between you both, you turn to Osamu and ask, "How's Atsumu doing?"

He rolls his eyes. "Passed out in his bed. I gave him a bucket and painkillers. He owes me for helping him at all."

You can't help but laugh, shaking your head in disappointment. "Yeah, he does."

As another silence rolls over you both, Osamu lowers his arm and hangs it around your shoulders. He rests his hand on your upper arm, his fingers lightly grazing your skin. His eyes flick over to you, accidentally meeting your gaze.

Despite your efforts to hide your smile, you struggle more than you'd like to admit. "I knew it."

"What?"

"Kiyoko said that people change, but I fucking knew you still liked me." Your voice is filled with a newfound confidence, likely brought to you by his closeness.

Osamu scoffs, a smile wider than your own. "Oh, is that what you think?"

"Yeah, actually. Care to prove me wrong?"

He scans over your expression, considering his response. "No, I don't think I need to." He turns his focus back onto the screen, his hand still grazing your arm. "If anything, it's your turn."

"What? My turn?" you laugh, jaw dropping open. "My turn for what?"

"To make a move! There's only so much I can do. It's your turn now." Shrugging his shoulders as if he's said the most casual thing ever, Osamu doesn't take his eyes off the screen.

You keep watching, waiting for him to give a sign that he's joking, but the only time he appears amused is brought on by Dwight and Jim. Disbelief is trying to swallow you whole, begging you to question what led you here.

You make the first move? Does he even know you? What if he rejects you? Oh... There's no way he could reject you after all of this, right? If he did, your friends would be at his throat and he'll be hung beside Ugly. Metaphorically, of course. No one's getting hung, hopefully.

How could you make the next move? With the intensity of your anxiety right now, you know kissing him risks a second person throwing up or passing out tonight. What about something smaller?

You reposition yourself, leaning into Osamu's side and resting your head on his shoulder. You've only just gotten yourself comfortable when he starts laughing.

"Oh my god, you're such a pussy! You can't even kiss me with solid proof I won't reject you."

Sitting upright, a gasp slips out at him calling you out. "Well, now I'm definitely not kissing you," you announce, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Oh, really?"

"Yep."

Osamu's fingers graze your jaw, turning your head to face him. His eyes scan over your face, searching for a sign you want him to leave alone. When he doesn't see one, he brushes his fingers against your cheek.

You feel yourself sinking into his touch, your stomach twisting into knots. He leans in closer, noses touching. You can feel your heart beating in your throat, almost stopping you from breathing.

Osamu closes the gap between you, effortlessly melting into you. His lips move in sync with yours, fitting together like a puzzle piece. The warmth of his body radiates against yours, pulling you in deeper to the kiss.

Before you have a chance to think about what to do next, he pulls away. "No more faking. Everything I do from here on out is real."

You nod and agree, "No more faking."

# fun fact !

atsumu is now the fourth person this year to throw up on iwaizumi; noya, bokuto and suga are the others.

masterlist. previous | next

summary. when your ex starts dating your least favourite person on campus, your ex-best friend from high school, you can’t help but feel a little betrayed. you quickly realise a way to get back at him: his best friend.

taglist (open!). @v3nusplanetofluv @mdmraz @thoughtswithbbg @fireinyoureye @wakashudou @jisookdays @tespho @frootloopscos @gigiiiiislife @walllflowerrrsss @tangerinelovr @datonegaybestfriend @sturnprincess @jpegarchives @justanotherweeb666 @1yeah1 @rrosiitas @yuu-via @zazathezaer @softpia @animenaces-world @loveelylani @punkhazardlaw @to-dino @nanamis-right-tiddie @aboutkiyoomi @arusio @aloore @dailyakira @alexithemiyatic @chemiru @p1nktulip @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @taefanclub

[ifitmeanslosingyouthenno]

more of the aftg greys au bc i love it

neil runs, but he cant bring himself to really leave

cant bring himself to leave the program and his coworkers (no longer friends really, at least not all of them)

cant bring himself to leave behind his mom

cant imagine not ever seeing andrew and kevin again

so he runs, he runs, but most importantly he hides

he needs time and hes panicking and his stuck inside his head and he cant escape his mind so he hides

its not like he's shown anyone but jean the pitiful place he calls his apartment

so he hides, inside his bathroom, door locked, a small ball inside his shower, with nothing but words of hatred running rampant inside his head

at some point he hyperventilates so bad he passes out

and he has no one there for him

its not until the next day, when he doesn't show up for work, and jean is the first to take notice

bc neil was too anxious, too afraid, too wrapped up in his head, to realize that no, not everyone hated him

in fact his first year intern friends where all backing him up, they knew better than anyone how hard he worked everyday, how good he was on his own

(and jean knew first hand how down to earth he was, how he didn't delight himself in riches and gold or whatever, how scared he was of failing)

and today his residents are if anything, madder bc he didn't show up, madder bc they think he's slacking just bc of his name

jeans makes up some bullshit about him being sick, how he was going to call the chief later, just so the other doctors dont shit on neil anymore, even if he isn’t there to listen to him

(and btw before you ask why all the doctors are mad, its bc most doctors are really fucking competitive ajdjdk jealousy is literally weaponized in there, its insane to witness that irl as a med student)

despite robin and katelyn's advice, jean approaches kevin (ehh lets say they knew each other as kids not sure what role the moriyamas will play in this, if any), and asks him if he knows where neil is, bc he knows they were together

and well, kevin shuts down his feelings, still feeling hurt, still feeling like its their fault neil didn't trust them, and just tells jean to never approach him to ask personal matters anymore, lowkey kinda threatens him about not telling anyone they were with neil bc its over now

and jean

well jean is pissed

and he gives kevin crap, nevermind that kevin is several years his superior, and tells him that he understands them being pissed but that shunning neil out when literally almost everyone at the hospital seems like they are against neil at the moment, gives him shit about how they were supposed to stand by neil not toss him aside like garbage

jean leaves him mostly mortified also kinda defeated and just still pissed but... ashamed too, as he turns jeans words around his head and well, he can't help but feel guilty, even if andrew never believes in guilt

but of course when he tries to call neil, it goes straight to voicemail, most likely turned off or dead or maybe neil just blocked him, he probably feels like he deserves that

and andrew is also lowkey pissed at first, when kevin confronts him, bc he's hurt and he thinks trust and honesty are very very important in order for their thing to work, so he kinda lowkey refuses to call neil, for which kevin gets mad at him and storms off, leaving andrew alone just enough for him to actually go through what kevin (what jean) said, just enough for something that he refuses to call guilt to eat at his resolve

just enough for him to actually try calling neil

not that it matters, as he gets sent to voicemail

so he goes to the interns' locker room, where everyone but jean and smalls are getting changed to leave for the night

which, shouldn't be it bc he knows for sure that moreau is on shift tonight, he's memorized their schedule to see when neil was available

not that that matters either, not anymore

it's unfortunately katelyn that notices him first, and yeah he's used to the wariness in her gaze everytime he has to interact with her (it's mutual, there's a whole hospital and she has to want to be with his brother?), but this time there's outright scorn

"where's moreau?"

"he left early today"

"he's on shift tonight," he says even though that's not why he cares where he is

"he switched with janie"

he doesn't even reply back, not that she was of any fucking use, and goddam how the fuck is he supposed to call and locate moreau, or more importantly neil , it's not like either he or kevin know where he lives, or actually know much about him as evidently proved to them the day before

they don't know if he has comfort places, don't know if he has a favorite coffee shop, don't know if he has a favorite park

all he can do, painfully, is wait

because no one knows where neil is

and the only person who could know is gone

meanwhile, jean gets to neil's place, and thank fuck that neil gave him the keys to the apartment, because he's not answering the fucking door

and when he gets in, he can't help but wonder if maybe his friend left, if maybe he ran for good, if maybe he was so beat down that in a fit of panic he just fled

because the place is empty, just as it was the only time he'd been here before, and there's no proof anyone has been here, but... but his phone is on the carton box he calls a bedside table and oh

that one chain he always keeps on, with a key firmly pressed into his chest is on the bare mattress he calls a bed

there's the chain and no key

he moves to the only other door on the small room, closed, with the light shut off, quiet, but maybe...

"neil? are you in there?"

it takes the better part of an hour to get neil to open the door, and a little over another to actually coax neil out of the bathroom, still dazed, in the middle of what is obviously a very bad dissociative episode, but with his heart rate skyrocketting in the 120s bpm (it should not be above 100 <3), hands shaking so bad jean has to hold the glass of water in order for neil to drink out of it

he doesn't speak at all the first few hours

he doesn't let go of the key clenched in his hand either, even if there's a bloody imprint of it on his palm

jean makes sure to charge his phone, makes sure he gets at least some food in him, and when his phone finally turns on, he makes sure to let neil know he's got the missing calls from kevin and andrew, wraps him in his hoodie and at neil's nod, presses him close to his side

when neil speaks, it's well into the night, early in the morning, both and neither

"why aren't you mad at me?"

"why would i be mad at you?"

"everyone else seems to be"

jean only sighs, pressing neil closer to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders

"everyone else is just jealous of you, actually scratch that, it's not everyone, if you'd wait before fleeing you'd have noticed us first years stuck by you"

"all i am is a lie"

"you aren't a lie, you're neil josten, who cares who your parents are or where you grew up, you're neil josten," he sighs softly, "you're a pain in the ass, but you're still you, you're my partner, neil"

and neil feels so much, he can't help but shiver, something akin to a sob escaping from his throat, something shameful and painful all the same

neil was raised to always only think of himself, his mother's paranoia after what she had to go through with his father only telling him that people were out to get him, that if he got comfortable, people would find a way to use him and hurt him and leave him out to dry

for so many years he chose being alone because of mary's words

for so many years he chose to believe that was true, so he isolated from his classmates, his colleages, his peers

for so many years he believed her

now he believed jean

after a few seconds of silence, in which he sank deeper into jean's side, genuinely finding comfort in his warmth, he says

"andrew and kevin hate me now"

jean just clicks his tongue, "if they hate you because of this, if they can't bring themselves to understand why you kept this from us, they don't deserve you, and you're much better off without them"

neil just ponders for a few moments, but jean isn't done speaking

"they've both been calling you for hours tho, so i think that might be worth something"

neil just sighs, shaking his head, and leaning impossibly closer to jean

"not today, i just- not right now"

"that's okay neil, just rest now, we can deal with that tomorrow, well, in a couple hours really because its already tomorrow"

neil huffs softly, a little sadly and closes his eyes

"thank you for everything jean"

jeans huff is far less devastating, "thats what partners are for"

neil just smiles as he moves to throw a blanket over them

yeah, that's what partners are for

[according2thelore]

No thoughts, just mpreg dean/dean with a baby dealing with soulless sam, who suddenly has stopped caring about their child(when he couldn't shut up about how much he loved the kid before)

hi, ari!!!! my head hit the wall and i passed out. this idea is so FUN!!

my mind went immediately to three places so let's discuss them unendingly starting riiiiiiiiiiiight now!

i. dean is pregnant when sam jumps into the pit, the baby is 6+ months old when soulless!sam comes to get him

it's a miracle lisa even let him through the front door. in an omegaverse world, his mating bond has literally just fucking shattered so he's a wreck in every single sense of the word, and he's pregnant with some other alpha's baby. in a non-a/b/o world, he's literally still pregnant by some other person.

it's only through her intervention that the baby gets born at all, really. she takes him to his appointments (first contact at 28 weeks is pretty unusual, and the nurses all look at each other with raised brows), shoves prenatal vitamins down his throat, and slaps bottles of whiskey out of his hands.

it's only when she grabs him by the shoulders and says, you are going to kill sam's baby, that dean finally locks the fuck in. he insists on going to the ER at every twitch of the baby, at every morning the baby doesn't move for a few hours, every time his back hurts or his stomach cramps. this baby is the last piece of sam he will ever get, so he is not going to lose it because he's too weak to keep it.

the baby is born. when she opens her eyes, they're hazel. dean cries, and cries, and cries. he names her samantha, a tongue-in-cheek nod he hopes sam would approve of. it gives him an excuse to put sam's name in his mouth again. he barely lets baby sammy out of his sight for the first six months.

dean puts the baby down for a nap before he gets knocked out in his garage. soulless!sam forgot dean was even pregnant, so after dean collapses in his arms and kisses him stupid then freaks out and asks where the baby is, sam is like?? baby?? oh shit yeah. you give birth to it? or give it up?

now, before sam jumped into the pit, he'd lay with his head on dean's stomach for hours. dean would wake up more than once in the middle of the night to find sam yapping away to dean's baby bump. his hands would never be far from it, until dean snapped at him that it was still his damn body, hands off. sam was so crestfallen that dean let him have at it again.

sam spent his last night before the cage carving protection sigils into a thin, small metal loop. a bracelet. for when they're old enough, sam said. he loved that bump more than life itself, so when sam is so blasé, dean doesn't know what to do.

he takes sam back to meet his daughter, and sam clearly doesn't want to hold her.

"she looks like me," sam says, like he found an interesting fact in a book, and not holding a squirming infant that's trying to grab at his long hair.

dean's last straw is when sam tells him, "we can't take it with us!" when dean starts packing his and samantha's bags. dean blows up. he's been fighting tooth and nail not to put a bullet in his brain for over a year so she could be born and have a dad for the first few months of her life. "it" is their daughter, sam's daughter, and sam--who's catching onto the fact that he's going to have to pretend to care about this thing to get dean to go with him, immediately sobers.

"i'm sorry. i didn't mean that. i can't--i can't. it's an adjustment. i'm...overwhelmed. but i love you both." and since they don't throw the "L" bomb around a lot, dean immediately shuts up. he probably just overreacted, right? sam didn't mean it like that. sam loves this kid.

but sam never really steps up. he changes diapers and feeds formula and buys diaper cream, but he doesn't talk to the baby. not once. he moves in efficient silence. since he doesn't sleep, dean wakes up and finds sam staring down at her in her pop-up crib like he's trying to solve a calculus problem. eyes narrowed, mouth thin. something's wrong with sam, something major, but dean doesn't know what it is.

ii. ignoring regular physiology, dean finds out he's pregnant after sam jumps into the pit, and is still pregnant when soulless!sam comes to get him.

even though this one is impossible, this one is very fun to me because sam immediately is like "😮 you let someone get you pregnant! wow! whose is it?" like they're old high school friends instead of pretty committed enmeshed weirdos.

and when dean says, "it's yours?? wtf?" sam is visibly disappointed, because he's thinking, well shit now we gotta take the damn thing with us.

for this one, sam just straight up does not care that dean is being safe or healthy. dean is expecting something--sam to insist on dean not lifting heavy shit since he's clearly about to pop, dean to eat his daily dose of nutrients, something--but sam can't be bothered.

he even suggests dean be bait a few times, because no one will suspect a pregnant person. dean is kind of agog, and feels stupid for expecting sam to fuss over and/or pamper him a little bit. dean says he has to piss because the baby is using his bladder like a speed bag, and sam insists dean hold it for a few more miles (fifty more miles, to be exact) because they're almost to their destination.

when dean's water breaks, and he waddles into the motel room from the bathroom, covered in sweat and freaking out, sam only barely looks up from his laptop. "you sure?" he asks. he goes and gets dinner in the middle of the birth, and justifies it to dean when he brings him back a wrapped ham sandwich like, "hey man you looked hungry too."

iii. the baby is born right before sam jumps into the pit, and is an actual walking/toddling one-year-old when soulless!sam comes to get him. or them, in this case.

asm doesn't sleep at all the night before the pit, instead laying on his side and letting the baby wrap his little fist around sam's finger. he watches his little chest rise and fall all night, tears in his eyes that don't fall. he holds little john until the last possible second, until castiel passes him his first gallon jug of demon blood. he kisses his little head, wispy with barely-there brown hair, and gently hands him to bobby like he's the most fragile thing in the entire world.

bobby's the godfather (and gets the middle name, robert), and castiel is the godmother. when dean gave him the title with a snort, castiel didn't get why it was funny. is it because i have a penis? he asked. i am the closest thing to a godmother that exists in this state. the next angel is three states over.

sam tells dean before he starts drinking that his first word better be 'daddy,' or he'll haunt his ass. dean doesn't even crack a smile, and says "yeah," unblinking.

sam jumps, and dean doesn't know it, but one of the things he sees before he does is dean passed out on a motel bed, baby john sleeping on his chest, both of them dappled in light from the slatted windows.

dean goes to lisa, hollow-eyed and empty, a baby in his arms, who cries and cries and cries and cries and cries, because the one person that can calm him down in the middle of the night is being ripped apart for eternity at this exact moment.

ben adores the baby. he picks him up and takes to being a big brother like a duck to water. when the baby starts saying "ba," ben insists john's saying his name.

sam comes to get him. he asks if they can leave the baby with lisa. dean thinks he's being protective, but considering dean spent a few months literally sleeping on the floor in front of the baby's crib because he'd panic if he couldn't hear him breathing immediately shuts it down. john was his tie to sanity. not happening.

john, despite only being a month or two old when sam jumped, immediately becomes obsessed with him again. he picks up sam's fingers to chew on them. he won't go to bed until sam talks to him, low and quiet. sam hates it.

sam goes on a solo hunt for a few days and comes back to dean sleeping with john in the impala because they got kicked out of the motel for the noise complaint of baby john crying himself to sleep the entire time sam was gone. i can't be expected to handcuff us together, can i? sam asks, genuinely baffled.

dean feels like he's nineteen again, having to play referee between dad and sam constantly butting heads. except it's sam and his child that wants to be picked up by daddy.

when they drop john off at bobby's for the night, dean can see sam actually exhale in relief as they leave his house in the rearview. it sits in his stomach like rot.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK OH MY GODDDDDDDDD i had SO MUCH FUN THINKING ABOUT IT AHHHH

-lizzy

[eggrollforyou]

Need This

Law x F!Reader

CW: Established relationship, use of pet names (baby, sweetheart), slight angst- feelings of overwhelm, fingering, oral (M!receiving), unprotected sex, p in v, sub Law, needy Law, slight praise kink, religious themes if you squint

A/N: thanks everyone for participating in my poll! Sub Law smashed the competition! This was a fun one to indulge in. I hope you enjoy it. I definitely had to take breaks 🥵 I spent more time making the banner than I did proofreading. I'll come back later and make edits as I see them 🙈

“DAMN IT, SHACHI! I said NOT to do that. Bathroom duty, the next 4 rotations,” Law shouted in frustration. “W-what?! But Captain! Four rotations?! I just thought you might like to try something different with your rice balls this week,” Shachi exclaims as he dejectedly throws his hands down by his side. Law sucked his teeth in frustration, “And I said no, the last time you tried. Clear it with me before you waste the fucking ingredients. Four rotations,” as he stomps out of the galley.

You stared at Shachi in disbelief at Law’s outburst. Shachi returns your widened gaze as he shrugs in disbelief, “I don't know what the fuck has been going on with him. He's been so goddamn touchy the last few days. Ugh…fucking bathroom duty?!” He cries out as he swipes his hand down his face. “Fuck…,” he mumbles to himself as he walks out. You shift a glance over to Penguin who was sitting quietly, clearly trying not to invoke the wrath of Law. 

“How long has he been like this? I've only been gone for a couple weeks running that mission for him,” you ask quietly. “It's been like this the last week, almost. It's been UNBEARABLE, Y/N,” he sighs. “We've all been walking on eggshells. Even Bepo has been doing his best to stay in line. You've got to figure out what's going on with him and save us from this torture. Everyone is afraid to make him mad and end up with some fucked up duty as punishment.” He gets up and puts his dishes away for the poor soul who last pissed off Law- to clean it with a toothbrush. 

What the hell is going on? Nothing happened while I was out, I think. Even still, this really isn't like Law, you think to yourself. Sure punishments weren't out of the ordinary. Especially considering the antics the crew got up to, but something was up. Law was clearly extra touchy about everything. He usually wouldn't throw a fit over a change in his rice ball recipe. You sigh to yourself, wondering how you're going to handle this, lest you be subjected to his next punishment.

Law stormed back to his office quickly and slammed the door behind him in a huff. “What the FUCK was Shachi thinking? He knows what I like. Why would he randomly fucking change it?!” he grumbles to himself, still fuming. The three weeks have been an absolute shit show, especially the last week. Nothing has gone right. He feels absolutely out of control. Something he really doesn't like.

Sure with the Straw Hats, he's come to expect it. But on his own ship? He always had control. But it seemed there was something in the drinking water, because even his crew were doing everything they could to rip apart his every last nerve. He sighed in utter defeat and plopped down into his desk chair, covering his eyes with his hand on his brow.

It started with his last mission plan. He was working with Robin to gather info on a poneglyph. They went to some dusty ass island in the middle of nowhere based on some intel they gathered the week prior, only to learn that Shachi and Penguin got the information wrong. He gave them the leeway to do it on their own, because they groveled for the opportunity, and they fucked it up! Little did he know, they were simply given bad information, but that didn't change the fact that they were in the wrong fucking place at the wrong fucking time, so they couldn't ambush who they needed information. After that, it seemed everything was spiraling out of his control and he couldn't handle it any longer. 

He sighed again, showing his weary heart. Rubbing his temples, “Fuck…I overreacted again didn't I?” he questioned himself. He knew he was touchier than normal. He was just tired of it all. Tired of the responsibility of his crew, tired of always having to make the decisions because it seemed no one else could do it on their own, tired of being the only one with any sense to maintain charge. It was exhausting. Then he felt the pang of guilt in his chest. Shachi only changed the rice ball recipe by one ingredient, one that he liked, and he acted like an ass. He stood up, prepared to apologize. He opened the door to go to Shachi’s station and was met with you, wide eyed in surprise and your hand up, your knuckles about to knock on the door, right as he swung it open.

“Y/N, you're back!” He pulls you into a hug, one you noted was tighter than his usual, but you're quick to return it. You have been gone for two weeks to try to gather better intel on a sleazebag who supposedly had the correct information to the poneglyph Law and Robin were trying to find. Law sighed, taking in a big breath, smelling your hair- he missed it. “I missed you,” he whispers and you feel the tension in his body slowly soften. “When did you get back?” You walked him backwards into the office and closed the door behind you. “Just an hour ago. I witnessed your blow up on Shachi. Is everything okay? This stuff usually doesn't make you so upset,” you probe, as you push some of his hair out of his face, resting your hands to hold both sides of his face. 

Law sighs, “I know. I-I feel terrible. I shouldn't have blown up like that. I just….I'm so tired Y/N…nothing has gone to plan the last three weeks. I'm just….tired of it all.” You gaze back, trying to hide your surprise. Law isn't usually so forthcoming with how he's feeling. Usually he's …emotionally constipated. It's like pulling teeth to get him to talk to you, but now? You can see he's held in his stress for too long. His soul and heart are raw from the expectations he placed upon himself. Your heart twists at the sight. “Oh, Law, baby. Don't worry about Shachi. He'll be fine. I'll take care of it, ok? You don't have to do this alone.” 

You pull him to your lips in a reassuring kiss, embracing him to try to take some of his stress. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, returning your embrace, pulling you in tight and you feel his body begin to relax. “Are you ok?” you whisper, running your fingers through his hair, “You can talk to me,” you console. He sighs, his skin tingling as your fingertips lightly scratch his scalp. “I…,” he hesitates. Does he really want to burden you with this? The thought of opening up has him feeling vulnerable, but he feels so tightly wound. Like a spool of wire pulled so taught that it’ll burst at any moment. He’s afraid of what the shrapnel could do. To you, to him, to his crew. Everything he’s worked so hard for. And suddenly, his thoughts flash to Corazon. How he put everything on the line to help him. A dying child, with little hope, ready to throw everything away. How he gave up everything, so that he could be the man he’s become. To live….to thrive.

His body shakes as he finds comfort in your presence, in your love. He takes a deep breath to steady his heart and his thoughts- racing a mile a minute. “I’m just so tired of the responsibility of everything. Being Captain, making sure everyone is safe. Making all the decisions, all the plans…all the time,” he pauses. You sense his hesitation to continue and don’t allow him to break from your hold. Running your hand in his hair, your other running pressured strokes on his back. Hoping it prompts him to continue. He senses your effort to ground him, “Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy it…But…it’s just been so much for so long…I wish I could just give up all control, even if only for a day.” Getting the words out finally makes him feel like he has space to breathe.

You hold his face between your palms, leaning back to look into his tired eyes. You see the exhaustion on his face; the weariness. How it’s taken its toll since you’ve been gone. “Thank you,” you press a kiss to his forehead, “for telling me,” you press another on his cheek, “I will always be here to help you, with whatever you need,” and another kiss to the corner of his mouth. You slowly walk him backwards, he stops when he feels the edge of the couch hit the back of his legs. Forcing him to sit, you straddle his lap, determined to smother him in your love and affection. Going on missions for him wasn’t out of the ordinary. After all, he had big plans. But you didn’t realize how much you missed him while you were gone for this one, especially after hearing about what weight he keeps himself under when you’re not there. 

He buries his face into your chest, not realizing how much you ground him through everything until now. He smells you again, taking long deep breaths, and suddenly his heart is pounding. Though this time not from stress, from your closeness. He realizes how wrapped in you he truly is at the moment. He pulls back to look at you, your eyes sparkling as you gaze back at him, and he presses a kiss to your collarbone. “Thank you. For….everything.” You smile warmly in return, trying to hide your surprise at this different side of him that you’ve never seen before. “You would do the same for me, Law. I will always be here for you. But next time…,” he looks at you, clearly on the upside of this moment, “Next time, come to me before it gets to this, okay?” His lips tug up into a shy smile and he nods, “I don’t want to see you hurting like this. All of us are here for you. We love you….I love you.” 

You lean down to give him another kiss. One turns into two and they continue to multiply. You feel the flutters of desire begin to grow as your bodies heat up and react to one another. His grip on you is tight as he keeps your chest pressed against his. As you slot your lips against his again, your tongues meet in a kiss that quickly gets heated. You begin to grind your hips into him, legs still straddling him, and he whines into your mouth. It sounds like music to your ears. Law NEVER whines. He’s always been one to take charge, but this time feels different. 

“Please, Y/N,” his voice wavers. This time, you think, you won’t let him. He feels your smirk on his lips, “You’ve been so good for me, Law. I think I should show you just how much I appreciate it,” as you grind your clothed cunt on his growing erection with more force. His eyes flutter shut and he whimpers. It fuels the fire you are stoking. “Please…I n-need you. I need this.” You lean back slightly to look at his rugged face. This time, there’s no scowl; it’s soft, relaxed, and needy. “Don’t worry Law, I’ve got you,” you huff, your voice low and full of desire. “Just relax for me, ok baby?” His eyes closed, he nods, as you lean back to remove your shirt and bra, quickly, not stopping your relentless grinding on his lap.

His hands find purchase on your hips, clutching tightly, his fingertips turning white. You’re gasping into each other’s mouths as if you’re starving for one another. You unbutton his shirt and push it off of him, dragging your nails on every part of his exposed flesh that you touch as you bring them back up his body. Relishing in the goosebumps you leave in your wake. He shivers at the contact. “Does that feel good, baby?” He moans. “Mmmmm, I love when you make that sound for me,” you say as you press open mouthed kisses along the column of his neck and across the top of his shoulder.

You reach down to unbuckle his belt, you rise from his lap letting him shuffle his pants and boxers down as you pull your own shorts and panties, letting them pool at your feet. His eyes traveling from your ankles, looking at every part of you all the way up to your face as he pants in near desperation for your touch. You lean over him, caging him beneath you and he pulls you in, taking one of your breasts into his mouth. You throw your head back in pleasure as his tongue swipes and swirls around your nipple, his cheeks hollowing as he takes more of your breast into his mouth. Your arms wrap around his head, nails scraping into his scalp as you grip his hair. His hands grab your ass as he switches his attention to your other breast, gasping as he scrapes his teeth on your nipple. 

You reach down wrapping your hand around his hard cock, swiping your thumb across the tip, swirling the pre-cum that’s gathered there. He whimpers at your touch as you begin slowly teasing him, grazing your fingertips along the bottom of his length, “Is this what you want, baby?” 

“Y-ahh-yes, p-please, touch me Y/N,” he begs, his eyes glazed over, cheeks dusted in pink. He moans softly as you oblige in his request, grabbing length at the base and slowly twisting your fist up his length. You ghost your lips over his ear, your breath light and teasing. His breath hitches and his body stiffens as he flexes his every muscle. “You’re SO responsive for me, Law,” you whisper devilishly, intentionally keeping your lips a hair’s breadth away from the shell of his ear. His breaths come heavier and you take his wrist, bringing his hand to your core, “Feel what you do to me, Law.” You both moan as he takes two of his fingers and rubs them when you crave him most. His fingers swiping back and forth, collecting your slick- practically dripping- and swirling it around your clit. 

He inserts one finger and presses the spot that makes you go insane. He watches you in reverence as he continues to slowly work his finger in and out of you. You bite your lip when he inserts the second finger, your hand on his cock falters as he crooks his fingers, pressing his thumb on your clit with steady pressure. His pupils dilated, sweat collecting on his brow from being so worked up. “Mmmf, f-fuck, yes Law. Right there. You make me feel sooooo good,” you whimper trying not to collapse on him. His fingers continue pumping in and out of you. The room filled with sounds most unholy, the air thick with desire as you pant into each other's mouths.

You adjust while Law continues to scissor you open with his fingers, leaning down, you kiss and kitten-lick his leaking tip. He pauses for a moment, hand clenched while other hand stops fingering you. You smirk for a moment, enjoying Law turning into a flushed mess at your touch. “Tell me what you need, Law.” He hisses, eyes opening to see you peeking up at him, his cock throbs in your hand, “I need your mouth…please,” he groans. “Need my mouth where?” you tease. “O-on my cock, please, I need your mouth on my cock,” he pants. You chuckle, “Good boy,” and as you sink your mouth down onto his cock, his arm reaches over your back, grabbing your side, “A-aahhh- shit- your mouth feels so good, sweetheart.”

You glide your lips up and down his shaft, building a steady rhythm, occasionally taking him deeper, touching the back of your throat. You pause to relax your throat to take him further and he hisses, pushing his hips up into your mouth. You moan when his hand presses slightly on the back of your head, forcing a small gag from you, your grip on the base of his cock tightening slightly. His hand in your hair stops pressing and he holds on to it while you take back control. Bringing your lips back to his tip as you swirl your tongue, your hand working what couldn’t fit into your mouth, drool dripping down your wrist. You tease his tip continuously with each pass, making his toes curl, his abs tighten, getting lost in the gasps and moans you pull from the back of his throat. 

Coming up with a lewd pop as you pull his throbbing length from your mouth, you push his shoulders back to keep him leaning back on the couch as you throw your leg over him. Sitting on his lap, his spit soaked cock between you both, you lean up and grind your pussy on him. Leaning forward to capture his lips in yours as you spread your slick on his shaft. You reach down to line him up with your entrance, slowly pushing his fat tip in. You slowly sink down onto his length to the hilt, releasing the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. He reaches to grab the side of your face and your neck, pulling you into a ravenous kiss. You begin grinding your hips in a circular motion, eating his wanton moans. “Hold me tight, make me feel every inch of you,” you whisper.

A guttural moan is ripped from his throat as you grind yourself up and down his length as his arms wrap tightly around you. Your forehead is pressed to his as you lock eyes, fire in them. You pick up your pace until your hips and thighs burn, fueled to continue by Law’s unwavering grip on your hips and his moans each time you pull your clenching walls up to his tip and slam down. “Baby-baby-f-fuck,” his eyes are glistening as he watches you take all of him, over and over. You slow down, putting your finger under his chin forcing his gaze up at you, “I want you to look at me, baby. Look at me to see how good you feel. How good you make me feel. Can you do that?” He gulps, “Y-yes,” his strong hands grasping and kneading your hips, ass, and thighs. “Mmm, so good for me, Law, thank you baby.”

“Fu-uuck,” he stutters as he begins thrusting up into you. He’s pulling you so tightly into him, you don’t know where one begins and the other ends, you’re just melting into each other. “Hnng, you feel so good inside me, Law, keep going.” Spurred by your praise, he picks up his pace, the sound of skin meeting skin turning you both on even more. You feel your orgasm quickly approaching as you clench around Law’s cock. Both of you panting, “Fuck, you feel so good…I-I c-can’t stop,” his voice shaky as he loses himself in you.

His thrusts are growing needier as you moan praises, fire in your veins as he brings you closer to your climax. His eyes roll back when your hands reach for his shoulders as he fucks up into you. Your nails leaving crescent marks on them. You look down at him, his fucked out expression, determined to please you. He swears you're an angel, peering down at him, perfect in every way. He groans in euphoria at the sting of your nails, your clenching walls wrapped around him, as he fucks the shape of him into you. 

“F-fuck, Law, I need to cum, can you make me cum, baby?” You pant breathlessly. “Fuuuhhck-hhng-yes baby, let me,” he growls as he snakes his hand down to your clit, messily rubbing tight circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves. You feel him throb inside you as the touch makes you bite your lip to contain your screams, your cunt clenching hard as he works you to your orgasm.

“Please, baby, please give it to me, I need this,” he groans, maintaining his hungry gaze with yours, and you begin to tumble into the waves of electric pleasure that wash over you. “Fuuuck, don't stop, fuck me just like that,” you command. “Ah-ahhh-aghhhh,” he can no longer contain himself as he feels you flutter on his cock, using him for your pleasure. He stills for a moment as his release spills into you, pressed against your cervix. Sighs and moans of pleasure as he finishes with you. 

You're both spent, sweaty messes when his thrusts finally come to a stop. He pulls your lips to his, capturing your lips in a languid kiss. Your tongues swirl in a tired dance as you both come down from your highs. Panting into each other. “Thank you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for helping me,” he grumbles, half asleep from the energy expended from his emotions and your body. 

You hum at his words of affection pressing kisses on random places of exposed skin. “You needed stress relief, baby. I'm glad I could oblige. I'm always here for you. Again you don't have to do this all alone.” He brings you into a tight embrace again, as if he's what tethers you to this world. You stand up off of him to gather your clothes, quickly shimmying on your underwear and shorts and grabbing a small towel to clean yourselves off. 

You lay Law down on the couch, running your hand on his arm. “You stay here, rest. I'll take care of things for a bit,” pressing a kiss to his forehead. He leaves a sigh of relief. “What did I do to have you? Please…tell Shachi I'm sorry.” You squeeze his hand in reassurance and quietly leave the office as you hear his breathing even out. 

Only to be surprised by Penguin and Shachi just around the corner. “Ah!” you yelp, looking behind you, hoping you didn't wake Law up. “What the fuck are you two doing here?! Creeps!” They snicker, sharing a knowing glance between themselves. “Soooo,” Shachi chimes, hoping you have good news for him. “How's the Captain feeling?” 

You pinch the bridge of your nose as you squeeze your eyes shut. This is the shit he deals with….daily. You think to yourself. “Shachi….fucking…four rotations!” His bright eyes dim as his cheeky grin falters, his mouth agape. “W-what?! But-but- you were supposed to help me out!” As you walk away, Penguin is grabbing his stomach trying not to burst out in laughter, “Law took it back, but I'm giving it back because you're a fucking pervert! He sends his apologies!” You call out to him as you wave your hand goodbye. 

Taglist: @shy-writer-999 @dreamcastgirl99

Dividers by @cafekitsune

Phew! If you made it this far, thank you! I thrive on feedback so I'd love to hear your thoughts! 🫣 Comments, reblogs, and likes are always appreciated.

[lorbanery]

Someone has definitely written a fic where Terry McGinnis realizes and has to come to terms with the fact that his parents kind of fucked him up, right?

Like, he's Batman. Batman deals with fucked up families. Eventually he's gotta learn to recognize the red flags of an abusive household, of how kids act out when they're being mistreated at home, of what are appropriate consequences for behavior and how that changes based on the kid's age.

And I know the show tries to go out of its way to be like "well Terry really WAS a pretty badly behaved kid" like ooohh he was in JUVIE for a whole FEW MONTHS but also like

Let's really think about this for a second

This whole "Terry was a Bad Kid" narrative ultimately hinges on one particular event: His arrest alongside Charlie Bigelow. Now I don't think they ever mention how old Terry's supposed to be during the series, and they certainly never mention how old he was when he and Charlie got arrested. But we DO know that the arrest happened 4 years before the events of the series because in the episode where all of this backstory is elaborated on, they mention that Charlie's sentence was 4 years. Now, Terry's in high school, which narrows his present day age to between 14 and 18; but the fact his mother got custody after his dad died makes it pretty clear he can't be older than 17.

So if we're GENEROUS.

If we assume that Terry is 17 during the events of the series

that he's 17 when Charlie's released from jail after serving a 4 year prison sentence

that would make Terry, AT THE OLDEST ... 13 years old when he was arrested

thirteen

years

old

when his parents got divorced

thirteen years old

when his mother declared that she couldn't deal with him, that his father was the only one who could "control" him, and gave up custody of TERRY, but not of his little brother

thirteen years old when his parents SPLIT UP him and his little brother, who had to have been a kindergartner at the oldest at the time

Like this is cruel. With the exception of some extreme circumstances, you don't do that to kids. You don't just separate siblings like that. Like, not to say that it doesn't happen, just to say that I don't think I'm off-the-mark in assuming that pretty much every modern child development expert would very much suggest you DON'T DO THAT. Like I know there are folks out there who know very well how it feels, but for the rest of us just imagine being thirteen years old and your mom says she wants custody, but only of your sibling, she doesn't want custody of you.

PERSONALLY

I THINK THAT'S PRETTY FUCKED UP

Oh and let's not forget that it is at least heavily implied if not outright stated that this divorce was at least partially triggered by Warren suspecting Mary of cheating because these two redheads gave birth to two kids with jet black hair. Yeah I wonder why a tweenage Terry was so angry and spending a lot of time out on the streets instead of at home where his parents were constantly fighting about whether or not he was "actually" their kid?????

And it's not like she changed her tune about him after he moved in! At even the faintest WHIFF of rules bending she was ready with an accusation of Terry going back to his old ways. DESPITE him completely turning himself around. Like juvie worked for him the way authoritarians want it to! He spent a few months in juvie after doing One Bad Thing, got scared straight, and decided he was never going to do Bad Things again. Hooray! The fictional criminal justice system works! Sure he was still getting into fights, but he was doing it to try and help people. He did his time, he turned his life around, the boy is an A student, he's had four years proving himself Not a Delinquent. Yet Mary McGinnis is CONSTANTLY jumping on any excuse to assume that Terry's up to no good.

And I will admit that she's probably justified in jumping to conclusions initially upon finding drugs in Terry's backpack. But I still find it a bit EXTREME, given, again, his recent history up to that point, that Mary refuses to even CONSIDER believing Terry when he says they aren't his and he's not using them ... until he gets a drug screening.

And don't even get me started on the way Matt talks about him. This kid is in elementary school there's no way he's come to the conclusion all on his own that his older brother who, as far as we know, he hasn't even SEEN in FOUR YEARS is just a delinquent who's always secretly up to something. Oh but he's been living alone with Mary this whole time HHMMMMMMMMMM

I'm harping a lot on Mary here, but listen that's just because Warren's dead and so we only got to VERY BRIEFLY see him and Terry interact. Given that brief interaction? I don't have a problem assuming that he treated Terry much in the same way, as a delinquent constantly on the brink of a relapse. he just benefits from being killed off for Plot purposes so we can't see all the ways that plays out like with Mary.

Anyway it kills me every time Mary McGinnis treats her son like shit and Terry goes all

*pained bishounen face* Even if I didn't do what she's accusing me of, I still deserve her suspicion and I can't blame her for it.

[shesalittlelost]

nobody is “canceling” Orlok by saying he preyed on Ellen. this idea that acknowledging what the literal narrative shows means we're judging him by modern human standards and doing that is stupid and The Wrong!! way to watch The Gothic Movie is so fucking brain-dead like oh my god. shut the fuck up for once. nobody expects him to be a prince fucking charming. yes, “death and the maiden” imagery beautiful. yes, he is an ancient entity awaken by Ellen's call. yes, he is a vampire so naturally hunger is all he can feel and yes, that is probably the only way he can “love” or “long” for her. yes, he symbolises society's demonisation of her sexuality and spiritual abilities but symbolism doesn't override the literal narrative. him being a centuries old demon vampire, who no longer abides by human moral standards, doesn't change the fact that it's very much a predator/prey dynamic. a true monster fucker would continue to romanticize, fetishisize and sexualize it (like my boy Eggers did) without feeling the need to vehemently deny that. unfortunately, for some people “monster” love interest is just a dude who is “big BIG GUY SEXYY” slightly grotesque but still shiny and conventionally hot not to add, a Feminist King who always helps the girl dump her lame ass boyfriend, who, also, almost always, very conveniently happens to be a pos and that is the lens they're strictly using to engage with this movie as well. they won't be able to tell what makes a character a monster aside from just their appearance and vibe✨ and personally, i think that is a sad way to consume fiction.