#not anything about trans ppl but just a lot of ‘men suck men are the worst’ shit that feels like it leans into the ‘men are inherently Bad’

[charlataninred]

Sometimes I worry my sister is getting a bit too close to some terf rhetoric

[drdemonprince]

can i ask for some sex advice? im a bisexual trans guy, i’ve been with cis women and had hookups with a cis guy where he just went down on me. i’m generally attracted to all genders, but sexually i find myself turned off/repulsed by penises and cum so i’ve only pursued hookups with ppl with vulvas (so far cis women and other ftms) or situations where i don’t have to interact with the penis. totally fine with trans women and femmes who are post-op, etc. i’ve just been worried that i’m gross/transphobic/a chaser? even though im bi i feel like a shitty person for not being into dick.

Hey, thanks for the question. I think it is a good thing to be asking oneself. I think that even if you were to conclude that your attitudes were transphobic, I don't think the solution would be pushing yourself to have sex you didn't want to have or trying to force yourself to "get over" the associations that you have. That won't work, and it's not your fault for having them. What matters is how we treat people, not what fleeting thoughts and emotions we might have privately, which is part of why it is so annoying for cis people to act as if they are persecuted for having a "genital preference" or whatever. The problem isn't their feelings. It's their exclusionary, cruel, often violent actions and the words they express publicly.

I think it's worth contemplating that many trans femme people have absolutely no desire to use their penises during sex, or can't because of various medical issues, and do not produce cum that looks anything like the way most cis men produce cum. How would you feel about a trans woman who does have a penis using a strap-on on you? About you two fisting each other? About you using a hitachi magic wand on her? How do you feel when you see a trans guy with a post-phalloplasty cock? Try to reflect on questions like these with curiosity and not judgement.

Maybe you will explore your feelings and find that there are still barriers; maybe for example you wouldn't feel comfortable going down on someone's penis, but would be happy to be fucked with a strap-on by someone who has a penis, or to fuck them. That's okay. Lots of trans women want exactly that kind of sexual encounter anyway. And lots more are open minded and recognize that T4T sex is experimental and free-floating and doesn't have to involve any specific sex acts. Negotiating these things should be done delicately and respectfully, but it is always fine to say "I don't do [xyz]" or "I don't want to do xyz right now."

I relate more to your question that you might know, albeit from a different direction. I have a lot of dysphoria about having a vagina; though PIV can feel good, what I most picture myself as having in my mind's eye is nothing at all between my legs. I hate receiving oral, as I've talked about a lot, but I'm also dysphoric about and disturbed by giving oral to a person with a vagina. I have also experienced a lot of sexual trauma that involved a (typically cis male) partner forcing or pressuring me to have sex with cis women. That's happened to me many times over the course of my life. It's also made facing any pressure whatsoever to have sex with women (either cis or trans) deeply triggering and upsetting to me.

All of my own personal hang-ups and traumas have left me feeling funnily very much like that one line from Saltburn, "Women are too wet. Men are so lovely and dry."

I do get into my head about it being super transphobic of me sometimes. But I have also had fun, carefree, experimental, gratifying, hot sex with trans men with vaginas. I might not be able to eat them out, but there's lots I can do. I can finger them, put my hands in them, eat their asshole, take their strap, suck their strap-on, kiss them, fondle them, play with their nipples, be fucked alongside them, writhe atop a single hitachi together with them, slap their ass, put a dildo in them, whatever. I just don't want to eat them out or have them eat me out, for the most part.

It would be highly understandable if a trans guy felt invalidated by my feeling that way or didn't want to have sex with me given those limits. that's fine. I understand this stuff is fraught and sucks sometimes. I don't talk about my feelings around this topic publicly often because it is so contentious and I don't want feelings to be hurt. But in my heart I'm comfortable with where I am at. I know which limits I have that seem immovable and I don't really want to push them ever again. Having those limits pushed is what traumatized me. At the same time, I know it's not connected in any way to seeing trans men as lesser than cis men, or as less attractive, and I know it's not a barrier to me having sex with trans men if the moment and our interests both align. I'm not a bad person for feeling this way. It's actually really hard to be trans and to be wired this way. But I'm doing the best I can with it to both grow, and not be an asshole, and also to find fulfillment.

[velvetvexations]

Really love how every time I argue with people on here about how actually trans men do not generally have it meaningfully better than trans women, people avoid actually explaining their points or providing sources and start calling me a little boy. Very fun. Love that. It's so fun to be insulted for asking asking people to explain their point

No one can actually explain that.

rhea ripley is so hot. and for what

for me to be all Weird Trans Woman about her

Honestly as an non binary person, I feel more and more pushed out of the community with the serious adherence to the binary. "if you Id as this you MUST be this thing, you're you're a liar and a faker and you're hurting other trans people" that, and the denial of trans men's oppression. It's just cruel and bitter, and seeing other trans people go down this path is pretty disheartening

it's so depressing

Well, you see, it's not like saying they're transitioning from black to white, because OBVIOUSLY, just like race, your soulgender is immediately apparent to everyone as soon as you plop out the womb

lmao so true

(also I've heard soulgender is a Black thing and it should be spelled with like, a space or a hyphen? so I'm probably gonna do that from now on)

"Trans men are the White People of the trans community" Oh okay so yeah this is just "Ace people are the White People of the Queer Community" all over again huh Begging other whities to stop comparing race and gender like this, makes you look stupid as fuck

pls

Fascinated to know if the "All trans women are nonbinary" crowd also believe all trans men are nonbinary

you'd think so the way they insist trans men cling to being AFAB lmao

Went to check /-/'s blog and she's reblogging pro Chat-GPT and anti-copyright posts now

I'm tapping the sign.

as a nonbinary thing i feel like so much tma/tme shit just completely fucking forgets us like im not „occasionally mistaken as a trans woman” its a fucking coin flip!!!!!!!! my „AGAB” doesbt matter 2 ppl outside the the internet!!!!! all that matters is no matter what i wear no one wants me i their bathroom!!!!!

people don't even just hate you for when they mistake you for a trans woman anon they hate non-binary people AFAB too

i kinda feel like the discourse is becoming more mainstream now. im seeing a lot of trans bloggers who dont post much about trans issues making posts about it (usually along the lines of "can we be normal about trans guys please" which is nice)

good maybe the backlash will finally kick in

Idk if this is me generalizing but I’ve started noticing that headcanons of canonically male characters as trans women that get traction are usually skinny and have trauma or coded with anxiety or depression. Like idk if that means literally anything but just a weird observation I had

a lotta people on here literally define being a woman as when bad things happen to you lmao

I was looking at the Patricia Taxxon stuff (funny enough, did actually see you @ ed in deleted replies) and I saw the sentence “However, being discriminated on the basis of being perceived as a manly woman is just an adverse effect of transmisogyny directed towards trans men.” Which. Hey now. What about butch women. Like how does that not uniquely apply to cis butch lesbians, even if we ignore trans men entirely.

MAINSTREAM SOCIETY LOVES TOMBOYS

Man. It really sucks when a popular-ish figure you look up to turns out to be transandrophobic. Should have seen it coming ig. She was intersexist too, and those often go hand in hand.

well I mean it sounds like you shouldn't have looked up to her already lmao

IIRC from old drama, Patricia Taxxon also thinks toxic masculinity isn't a real thing that can harm men because it's just splash damage from misogyny and they should get over it, lol, so I'm not surprised if she's turned out to be weird about trans men

lmao literally just that radfem-libfem feminism-is-for-women comic huh

Tragic: local man forced to actually read Serano's writing for the theory he's trying to make even though the way she talks about transmasculinity and female gender nonconformity gives him a headache

F

[macrotiis]

Idk it's just fucking frustrating that femme trans guys are minding our business & the masc lot are out there acting like we somehow have it over them when we really don't. We are gatekept out of transitioning & get harassed relentlessly by transphobes & even our own community. Most of the posts you see that are transphobic towards trans men target feminine trans men specifically.

Like sure, there is a lot of fear mongering about the effects T has on our bodies, but that affects all trans men, not just masc trans men. Meanwhile you have dipshits on tiktok talking about misgendering he/hims who wear makeup & have boobs as a joke bc obviously they aren't manly enough to be considered men or to use he/him pronouns.

We have to hide our femininity or non-standard gender if we seek out transition because otherwise we aren't seen as being serious about it. We instead get pathologized & thrown into the mental health system until we either give up on transition altogether or conform cisgender ideas on how trans men should be.

We aren't treated any better than masc trans men, we are treated with skepticism & seen as just as much of a threat to queer spaces as any trans man is. If anything we get it worse bc cis ppl see us as invaders who aren't even trying to be trans or man enough for them. Or we get thrown in the same pigeonhole that trans women get, where our femininity is conflated with sexual deviancy & we are assumed to be predatory.

Also it's becoming increasingly obvious that when you all say "feminine" you really mean skinny, hairless & white. I think you should all really unpack why you think this way bc you're misgendering trans guys who are just simply skinny & small by marking them as feminine without even asking them how they view their gender expression. And you're equating being fat, hairy & not-white with being masculine, which especially sucks for people who have these features & aren't men or masc at all.

I don't wanna push any kind of divide between masc & fem trans men, but I really want yall to understand how horrible you sound when you talk about feminine trans guys & act as though we arent constantly under intense scrutiny to uphold the cisnormative idea of what masculinity & being a man is, or just not being allowed to transition at all. Stop acting like you as a masc trans man are being forced into feminine gender expression, you aren't, you are being forced to detransition, there is a fucking difference. Every time you bring up how trans men are pushed to be feminine to be more palatable, shut up & think about how that sounds to trans guys who are actually feminine & still get treated the same fucking way.

They don't want you to be a feminine trans man, they don't want you to be a trans man period.

Do fucking better.

[farmerlesbian]

where is the line between transmasc/genderweird lesbians and Men with a capital M? i dont think there really is one, but as a lesbian who straddles that line, people are constantly trying to shame me onto one side or the other and its exhausting. i think sometimes the ppl trying to protect our community by keeping men out end up targeting mostly ppl who are in between or overlapping categories and are typically trans, instead of like, Cisguys preying on dykes. its become a real problem in the community just being visibly trans or butch tbh

i don't think it's possible to articulate A Line. i agree with you and don't really have anything to add!

i'll just say what i've said before. it's fuzzy/blurry. the nuances and intricacies of someone's gender through the narrow slice the internet (on anon!) is not enough for a stranger to make any sort of call about! it's something that individuals with non-binary gender experiences gotta use their own discretion about. people should go about these things with a mindset of using their best judgement and engaging in good faith, instead of like, pushing the boundaries of what is "allowed". instead of seeking approval and validation, seek to look inside onesself and determine 'is this for me? is this space for me? do i genuinely feel like i'm intruding and pushing the boundaries or do i feel like i'm being pushed out and unjustly excluded?'. those are different feelings and while i can imagine it's hard to discern sometimes, maybe talking with your irl people you can figure it out. yeah sometimes you gotta ask a clarifying question here and there to the organizers of the space in question -- i certainly do when seeing (nonlesbian) events for "femmes" and stuff like that haha!

i'm sorry that you're dealing with people being shitty to you about straddling the line. i know i see it, people having this like compulsive need to find rules and permission and categories for everything, needing to push people into one box or another in order to make sense of them, to know how to see you and treat you. and it sucks! it sucks even more because the boxes are WRONG! it hurts and they don't get you.

for ME, when i say "no men" i mean people who are men period. no additions no explanations no complications. just a straight up man. a fully binary man, if you will. i do not intend to apply this to people with funky genders. to trans folks straddling lines. i think if someone is genderweird or got somethin funky goin on they aren't a straight up Man capital M with no qualifiers! do you see yourself as a man or not, deep down? (general you, not you anon!) i do apply it to trans men and cis men alike. i see no reason to separate the two as if trans men aren't really men. because there ARE binary trans men. there are binary cis men! there are a LOT of them out there in the world! some of them are even on tumblr! are there ALSO trans men that feel also kinda butch at the same time and like a little dykey? maybe. i dunno any personally so i'm not gonna make harsh calls and big rules and statements. i'd expect people to make their own judgement calls and use their discretion and best judgment! i absolutely do not want to push someone out who feels that it is their community and that they deserve to belong in it. this is why i don't patrol my followers list except for bots (common lately ugh tumblr!) and obvious gross lesbophobes (quite rare).

sorry this got so long. lmao i say i'm not gonna add anything and then next thing i know you have an essay!! sorry!! hope it makes sense. basically i fully agree with you and i'm sorry you are having people shame you and push you. they should not do that and i do not support it and it is not what i think We should be doing as a lesbian community.

[cosmicredcadet]

I still think about how I was told by another trans person to my face after I made a comment at how much it sucked being misgendered that it was because of how I dress. I couldn't expect people to gender me correctly when i dressed femininely. I needed to dress differently.

Ignoring the fact that how I dress shouldn't stop me from being upset over misgendering, there are multitude of reasons I can't look more masc. one being that I'm too small to fit into men's clothing. a lot of men's clothing is way too big on me. When i wanted to buy a masc dress shirt I had to but it from the boys section. Ppl don't realize that men's and Women's fashion is different. Men's fashion goes from boys to men's because they are expected to his a huge growth spurt that rockets them into men's sizes immediately. there is no in between size for men. Women's sizes go Girl > Junior (teens) > Women's. I can still fit into some of the juniors clothing in the women's section. The men's pants i have took FOREVER to find because there just are not sizes that take into account people of my size. My body is not seen as a men's body and so clothing is not made for it in the man's section. usually I find myself in the unisex fashion section to find anything slightly more masc. second reason is that I'm just not on T. I haven't been able to get on it since I came out. There are medical reasons as to why I haven't started yet. I do not look masc enough for people. Eve if i did dress more masculine people would still misgender me because to them i look like a cis girl.

that's not eve to mention that masculine clothes are so boring and uncomfortable so I dress in a way that makes me comfortable which just happens to mean I dress in a pink jacket and a colorful hat (which literally is the only 'feminine' clothing i have. that was what was being pointed at as the reason for my misgendering.)

Another thing I was told was my hair being long was an issue and i should cut it which... is an entire bag of worms because my hair has been a huge point of dysphoria and insecurity for me so for someone to say it's 'too long' and use it as a reason I'm being misgendered is just....

like listen, I know i don't pass. I know that's why people misgender me. I'm used to it. But as a trans person I have a right to be upset by the fact I'm being misgendered - no matter if I pass or not. I can still be upset that I am not being seen as a boy and people do not use he/him pronouns for me even though I have my pronouns shown by my name tag.

People misgendering isn't my fault. it's not because I'm not trying. it's not something that I should be shamed for being upset about. I should not have to change myself and make myself more uncomfortable just for no cis person to care because they just see me as a tom boy anyways.

[binders-and-beanies]

I don’t hear ppl talk much about balding on T so. Just some info on my personal experience

Ok so it’s genetic in the sense that if the men on your mom’s side of the family are bald, you’re more likely to go bald regardless of whether you take testosterone or naturally produce it. So it’s not that the medication itself necessarily makes you go bald, you just have the same risk as a cis man in your family with the same amount of testosterone.

And I also want people to know it’s not something that’s likely to happen very soon after you start (although everyone is different). So you don’t need to be scared that all your hair is going to fall out within a year or anything but also don’t be spreading implied misinformation like “I’ve been on it for 1-2 years and haven’t lost my hair so it’s fine” bc it can still come for ya.

It started for me around 6 years on T, I’m currently 7 years and almost 25 years old and I have like, not male pattern baldness but *significantly* less hair than I did. I used to be that person who would always have hairdressers say “I would kill for hair this thick” and it stayed that way for years after starting T, so I thought I’d be fine until my 40s. But very suddenly my hairline receded to the point I get told I have a five-head, and you can see my scalp on the top of my head. (Yes I’ve tried everything other than like, medical intervention so I can’t rly speak on that.) (Stress could contribute but I’m also significantly less stressed than I’ve ever been.)

Everyone will react to this differently, like in my case for example I’m scared of losing more hair because I feel it conflicts with my androgynous gender expression. I feel the need to prepare myself to be a “bald queen” or get tattoos on my head or find some way to be confident without much hair in the next few years. As far as the current emotional impact, it makes me feel kinda insecure since a lot of my friends are trans men either pre-T or less than 2 years on T with beautiful thick heads of hair.

People close to me are cool about it but in general I’m treated differently bc of my hair, and it sucks because I feel too young for it. Yes there are cis men my age who are balding but it’s just strange as a trans man because you’re treated as younger than you are, until you start balding. People were infantilizing me, and now I’m viewed as a creepy old guy, and there was like no in between. I *just* got comfortable in my level of transition and now I have this obstacle in my confidence.

But don’t get me wrong it’s been sooo so worth it, I remember saying at the start of my transition that I’d rather be perceived as a bald man than a woman. Gender is an innate part of my identity and I needed my medication to live a comfortable life, whereas my hair is just something that helps me feel good and express myself. I absolutely regret nothing but I want people to have a bit more informed consent about what they may experience depending on genetics.

[boy-above]

gender introspection under the cut

me accepting/realizing that i don't want to look human really has changed the way i approach my body image and my gender fuckery. for so long i couldn't picture what i actually wanted to look like, so i couldn't have transition goals and it lead me to questioning if i was even really trans or not because i couldn't imagine myself as someone traditionally masculine in appearance, but the thing is that i also couldn't picture myself as someone Feminine either, like there was no "ideal me" i could form in my head and it was confusing, and it look be quite a while to realize it was because i was picturing Humans and i just. don't want to look human. it's made me more accepting of my own body in a way as weird as that sounds because it's literally impossible for me to ever be happy with my body, and that impossibility actually makes it less upsetting in a way because i know now that there's nothing i could be doing differently, if that makes sense? i want something that's literally unobtainable, so i guess there's a weird comfort in knowing that even if i'd been born conventionally attractive i Still may have never been happy with myself, so there's less "woe is me" attitude there now? even if i had been born a boy i still would have had dysphoria i think.

i'm sure there's probably ppl who would say that's a severe mental illness and i should get therapy and idk maybe they're right but a lot of people go through life not liking how they look so i feel like it shouldn't make a difference what the Reason i don't like what i look like is lmao.

i think perhaps this realization may have saved me from potentially doing stuff to myself that wouldn't have helped me transition wise. i still wish i had a dick and hope someday i can get top surgery and change my name, but there's other gender stuff i might have ended up doing that i might have regretted, stuff i may have felt compelled to do because it's just what you're "supposed" to do / what other people would have expected from me (going on testosterone is the biggest one) and now i know it wouldn't actually help me and probably would have made things worse and i would have regretted it. i still do wish i had a deeper voice, and i don't really like my voice as it is, but i think there could have been a chance i would have regretted it if i'd gone on T. and it kinda sucks that there's a not so small amount of people who would be angry about that and say i'm not really trans, but i gotta tell myself i can't be worried about what other people would say and focus on my own happiness. also even putting that aside the fact that theres ppl who would still argue i'm not trans even tho i literally want an entire cock and balls is really funny lol

i guess it's also why i decided i'm not entirely sure i can call myself a trans man, like it's not entirely inaccurate like i've said before but i think more than anything i'm a boy, and men and boys are different because i said so. a genderless boy. or an anime boy. an anime boy is a different gender from a human man in my opinion. boy is its own gender, i said so and im an expert.

anyway yeah i started thinking abt my gender again bc i thought about how much gender envy these little angel babies in nikki give me. like i wanna look like this so bad. i hope you all imagine this when you think of me

[barbatos-sama]

me accepting/realizing that i don't want to look human really has changed the way i approach my body image and my gender fuckery. for so long i couldn't picture what i actually wanted to look like, so i couldn't have transition goals and it lead me to questioning if i was really trans or not because i couldn't imagine myself as someone traditionally masculine in appearance, but the thing is that i also couldn't picture myself as someone Feminine either, like there was no "ideal me" i could form in my head and it was confusing, and it look be quite a while to realize it was because i was picturing Humans and i just. don't want to look human. it's made me more accepting of my own body in a way as weird as that sounds because it's literally impossible for me to ever be happy with my body, and that impossibility actually makes it less upsetting in a way because i know now that there's nothing i could be doing differently, if that makes sense? i want something that's literally unobtainable, so i guess there's a weird comfort in knowing that even if i'd been born conventionally attractive i Still may have never been happy with myself, so there's less "woe is me" attitude there now? even if i had been born a boy i still would have had dysphoria i think.

i'm sure there's probably ppl who would say that's a severe mental illness and i should get therapy and idk maybe they're right but a lot of people go through life not liking how they look so i feel like it shouldn't make a difference what the Reason i don't like what i look like is lmao.

i think perhaps this realization may have saved me from potentially doing stuff to myself that wouldn't have helped me transition wise. i still wish i had a dick and hope someday i can get top surgery and change my name, but there's other gender stuff i might have ended up doing that i might have regretted, stuff i may have felt compelled to do because it's just what you're "supposed" to do / what other people would have expected from me (going on testosterone is the biggest one) and now i know it wouldn't actually help me and probably would have made things worse and i would have regretted it. i still do wish i had a deeper voice, and i don't really like my voice as it is, but i think there could have been a chance i would have regretted it if i'd gone on T. and it kinda sucks that there's a not so small amount of people who would be angry about that and say i'm not really trans, but i gotta tell myself i can't be worried about what other people would say and focus on my own happiness.

i guess it's also why i decided i'm not entirely sure i can call myself a trans man, like it's not entirely inaccurate like i've said before but i think more than anything i'm a boy, and men and boys are different because i said so. a genderless boy. or an anime boy. an anime boy is a different gender from a human man in my opinion. boy is its own gender, i said so and im an expert.

[ablednt]

Making my own post bc this would absolutely be derailing imo but the post about how trans women who don't pass and also many queer men don't experience male privilege because it is a contract that they fail to perform to and are then seen as inferior, and the comment that "faggot" is a 3rd gender inside cis ppls binary has me thinking about my own experiences with femininity as an intersex afab (spoiler alert: it's not comparable to my sisters upbringing in the same environment as an amab person almost at all)

I think that there's a 4th gender in the cis gender binary (still a binary bc these aren't REALLY their own genders just a way to classify ordered demographics inside existing ones)

Because trans men, intersex afabs, and sometimes afab nonbinary people aren't really treated as women when they are misgendered either, we treated like "defects." Cisgender binary is a patriarchal contract and both sides are performing to an insane standard and finding ways to label outliers for harassment.

But cis women are patriarchally the inferior gender and they're objectified and seen as products and property (I got a much more overt view of this growing up mormon where women are discussed like property constantly from a young age) so when we DON'T perform correctly even if we're Trying To then we're seen as defective products.

And I think that gives a lot of insight into the ways that afab queers are treated and what a lot of people are trying to put into words but instead just getting frustrated they don't know how to express it and lashing out at other (mainly amab) queer people.

Like growing up intersex I was never really treated like a girl, nor was my sister ever really treated like a boy. For me though, it wasn't seen as the choice to misbehave, girls don't make choices after all. I was certainly girl adjacent I was never a BOY, god forbid, as I was reminded whenever I wanted to do activities with my peers that were too boyish. But I wasn't a perisex girl either and as soon as puberty hit that became readily apparent, I was harrier and sweatier and my cycle was wrong and my overal shape was different. But I wasn't treated like a boy I was treated like a defective girl, someone who was required to participate in girlhood but who always operated as lesser inside of that girlhood. Abuse for me was supposed to be seen as a blessing, a gift I didn't deserve, because I was a defective product and they couldn't take me off the shelf so all they could do was lash out for making the product (womanhood) look bad. The discrimination I faced was never overly overt though, so I didn't know what my problem was or why I Just Felt Different and Lesser.

So flash to adulthood, I'm nonbinary and cis feminists are making me insane by completely erasing me or lashing out at me for being a traitor, even in the queer community and it sucks and I'm all mad and caught up in my feelings and I grow to despise femininity (when it's not the problem here) I gave up on being a woman because I was never allowed to be one in the first place and I wanted to feel some semblance of control.

Then I spend more time around queer femininity and it's different and exciting and fun and it feels like coming home but I know this was never where I was or what I was. Cis people and (actual) transmedicalists want to co-op that and say I'm a cis woman but I know that I'm not, I know if I go back there I just become their defective pet again.

And I think I see where the urge to say your a trans woman comes from but like, really think about it. Am I a trans woman? I didn't transition to womanhood from manhood or anything even adjacent to that, I went from being a defective woman to defining my own value. And that's the vocabulary that I find most helpful, anything that makes it clear to cis women that I'm not operating under their rules and I refuse to be treated like a defect anymore. Nonbinary woman, demiwoman, agender woman, intersex woman, there's a million variations that I can use but none of those are accurately represented by trans woman imo.

And then like people ask what labels to use for when we're punished by cis women for being "defective" the way that we're labeled as traitors and silenced and repressed and sometimes (many times) that can manifest in outward aggression and violence. And we've been told so long (by cis women who, again, view us as defects) that we don't experience misogyny and instead of unpacking that so many people come up with trans versions of misandry because we have to prove we have 0 overlap with cis women bc they don't WANT US and we don't want to be defective anymore but it never fully makes sense because they don't treat cis men like this and then you loop around and go well it's transmisogyny then and like... is it though? Because it seems like regular misogyny to me, it's the exact same treatment I got growing up intersex and no one even knew that's what I was. But women see themselves as a product and as a subordinate and they feel like if they don't suppress any hint of defectiveness that they'll all be punished and the root of that is because of misogyny. The fact that we're called traitors a lot really calls attention to the fact that cis women view gender as a sport or a battle and themselves as a team, and feel the need to silence and violently punish anyone who might jeopardize the system or reflect badly on that team. It's specifically because they view us as a part of them (and an inherently defective/lesser part) that they treat us this way.

Long probably incoherent post I know but I feel like so many afab cisn't and intersex people are missing fhe mark not just for linguistic reasons but because they're unsure where the descrimination stems from. I dunno I just think about this a lot

[spacelazarwolf]

I really hate how often neo ra/df/ems will go on and on about how trans fem's transitions are waaaaaay more difficult and they're waaaaaay less likely to pass, but if a trans masc dared to make any similar comparisons, they'd be fucking crucified.

There are a lot of feelings I have around sex-based discrimination and the difficulties of a masculinizing transition. On one hand, I don't think comparing struggles like that is useful (i.e. trans women have harder transitions).

On the other hand, I feel like the reality of the situation is actually quite the opposite for many people (everyone acknowledges that testosterone makes your voice drop and you grow hair, but nobody seems to want to acknowledge hysterectomy vs orchi, voice training is still often needed, electrolysis for phallo, the fact that bottom surgery is usually multi-staged [even metoidioplasty is sometimes 2 stages] with a lot of moving parts and far worse scarring, top surgery is almost a necessity for passing whereas not every trans fem wants top surgery + scars are easier to hide, face masculinization is far less common w/ fewer options, puberty begins earlier in perisex people AFAB and puberty blockers don't always allow for full height to be achieved bc they don't typically allow you to start testosterone until you're about 15 even IF you were a "classic" trans-since-3-years-old kinda case, the extreme body horror that is accidental pregnancy and abortion and menstruation when that's dysphoric vs not being able to carry a pregnancy just feels like an insulting comparison sometimes and I've had multiple trans women call me inconsiderate for expressing horror at getting my bodily rights taken away bc "that triggers my dysphoria", testosterone is a scheduled substance and has more difficult administration methods than simply a pill, etc.)

And so I bite my tongue and try to be the better person, because stooping to that low doesn't help anything. But at the same time it's so extremely frustrating to be told that you "have it better" when, considering the facts, it REALLY feels like the opposite. There's this level of bitterness around that that I am DESPERATELY trying to resolve within myself. I have a therapist. I know it's projection. I'm working on my own bullshit. But please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way? I just wish they'd stop with that rhetoric and realize just how difficult the average trans masc transition truly is

yeah it's really frustrating for ppl to present Trans Women's Experiences and Trans Men's Experiences as diametrically opposed, with one experience being Eternal Pain And Inescapable Suffering and the other being Barely A Blip On The Life Radar. and while i understand it's coming from a place of pain, i've also experienced a lot of trans women shutting me down when i try to talk about how abortion rights affect me. back when i was first dipping my toe into trans spaces, i was friends with a trans woman who told me it was transmisogynistic of me to want to transition because "trans women would kill to have been born in your body." and while it absolutely comes from a different place than when cis men try to assert control over me and there's not the same power dynamic, it's still a complete stranger feeling entitled to tell me what to do with my body because of the sex i was assigned at birth. it's frustrating to have people i'm supposed to be in community with play into the same sexist bullshit that other people, regardless of gender, have been holding over my head my whole life, feeling like they own my body bc women and ppl who are forcibly assigned the role of women in society are seen as public property. our bodies aren't our own. everyone feels entitled to comment on them and touch them and make decisions about them. and it sucks when it comes from other people who should understand how that feels.

and like. obviously this idea that trans men's transition is so much easier than trans women's is unhelpful bc 1. there is no one particular way for trans men to transition, 2. not everyone who transitions in the way typically associated with trans men is a trans man, 3. it doesn't take into account how disability, race, ethnicity, etc. play into people's experiences before, during, and after transition, and 4. it's just not a fucking competition????? the fact that a disabled black trans man is going to be more systemically oppressed in society than a wealthy white trans woman doesn't mean trans men as a category are Objectively More Oppressed than trans women. bc gender is like. the worst possible way to try to gauge a group's place within the system. bc at this point, gender is not the most powerful system, race is. and i feel like a fuck ton of people really do not recognize that.

another thing that has bugged me for as long as i've been in trans spaces is this bizarre attitude that trans women are doomed to this miserable life of clockability and will never be able to pass as cis women thus they must accept that their life will be nothing but pain and suffering. and that's just very much not true! i know plenty of trans women who "pass" or who are happy with their bodies, who have jobs they love and friends and family who love them, who have a community that supports and celebrates them. and it has just always rubbed me the wrong way that people think they're helping trans women by presenting their existence as Inevitably Miserable when all it does is terrify closeted trans girls who think they're better off never coming out or transitioning, or better off dying. like. we have to understand that these narratives we create, the idea of the perpetually suffering trans woman and the lonely isolated trans man, are absolutely driving people to suicidal ideation. and if we give a shit about trans people, we should be changing these narratives.

[velvetvexations]

Eyyyyy fellow 300+ person! Im way shorter lol but it always is nice to see people in that club in the wild :)

high five

i'm not active on here that much anymore because tumblr is rlly shitty for transmascs and I'm glad I missed out on the whole "transemasculation" garbage because what is this. talking over transmascs, especially transmascs of color, is what it is. I'm glad that people are calling this shit out though. you probably hear this a lot but thank you so much for sticking up for transmascs, it means a lot

<3

it might just be that I am on the verge of a manic episode but honestly i love everything and it's all soo beautiful and I am one with the universe and nothing is real I am having a spiritual awakening and I can see everything and I am so full with love and hope and expansive pleasure and I can talk to ghosts and the world is beautiful and I am a genius and I love everyone and I have sooo much energy!

I love that for you anon.

to me it like. comes off even more so like the incel "i shall protect your purity m'lady" thing. putting trans women on a pedestal above anything else and treating them like they can never do anything wrong or be human is also transmisogynistic as hell

it so so so is and I hate it

I wish ppl would stop crossposting their complaints about transmisogyny from trans guys in the transandrophobia tag and vice versa... it's just annoying at this point. like im sorry that people are being transphobic to them but it's literally just spamming both the transandrophobia and transmisogyny tags.

co-signed

you can tell gender and race are extremely different constructs because i have seen several people who act like they are the same who also suggest forcefem as a solution for misogyny but who would probably never suggest force-rachel dolezaling every white person because obviously race and gender are completely different constructs lmfao

interesting concept

put-this-in-your-coffee anon again. my apologies for misusing your inbox. i only meant to point out the double standard that these radfems always seem to hold, that it's fine and okay for them to abuse & harass men because they're doing it "in the name of feminism," but i'm sure in my half-awake stupor and anger it didn't come out that way.

No worries. <3

Not really trans related but my grades are a roller coaster right now and it sucks :(.

I love you and am rooting for you. <3

Supporting the trans women in my life (got my little sister some purple makeup as a solstice gift because she's very recently out and just getting into makeup and she's been using mine and I don't have much purple but it's her favorite). Also got her some candy n a cat squishy. She thinks I only got her one gift so she's gonna be so surprised >::3c My evil transandrobro agenda (givin my trans sis gifts)

Really cute!

saw Patricia taxxon (did not know her before this, just scrolled her blog bc cute fursona and then saw antitransmasculinity) say that transfems have a say in what language transmascs use to describe their oppression because we share a community and transmascs have power over transfems??? but then somehow it doesn't work the other way, because if a transmascs dares share an opinion on current transfeminist theory (esp tme vs tma) suddenly he's awful (and transfems are also treated this way when they speak out) AND we're all trans, motherfucker!! they hate us all!! we do not have meaningful material power over each other when we live in a world that actively wants trans people gone.

She just straight up does not believe that trans men are also meaningfully oppressed or have a difficult time doing anything because she's obsessed with a theory of gender that to ease her own dysphoria but necessarily implies trans men must be treated like cis men.

Yknow how cis women preaching about sisterhood n stuff don't actually care about other women necessarily or treat them well? I'm beginning to notice this seems to also apply to how some transfems on here talk about transfems that disagree with them

such is always the case with radical feminism

(progressively) i simply believe that a large population - or even a majority - of trans people (and trans people specifically) are inherently evil bigots, violent rapists, taking my right to safety away, etc. due to their gender identity and socialisation. this is just a normal and sensible thing to believe as a trans person (the good type though not the bad type)

no trust me this time they found the good way to do transphobia

/770466237992075264/from-that-one-post-you-replied-to-about-trans (Dif anon) Literally, the OP other anon is talking about is just describing DARVO. I wouldn't be surprised if trans women and fems were among the demographics more likely to experience it, but it's just a normal, shitty abuse tactic that anyone can be the victim of.

Yeah. It's not like...special.

im also a trans guy caricature we should start a club

Hell yeah!

ppl hating anti-transmasculinity as a concept is so funny 2 me bc like anti-blackmasculinity has whole papers about it but these ppl act like all “anti-masculinity”s are just MRA shit when no! marginalized men are punished 4 everything they do! including being masculine!!!!

According to mostly White women Black men should shut up.

I am 100% sure that after Matt's meltdown about the first trans woman the rest of the bans were TRFs taking advantage of the situation to mass report their petty enemies.

no lol

trans people* being reported more often got inflated into Tumblr staff hunting down trans women for sick sadistic thrills but it wasn't a conspiracy on either side

*non-trans women have testified to the same thing happening to them

Am I bugging out? I thought privilege also had to do with the entitlement/behavior that the privilege would curate in the person over time. Like how cis men statistically do not fear traveling alone at night (or at least do not expect being assaulted) and the privilege of not fearing this. When anyone becomes visibly trans (fem, masc and anything else), this privilege is shot dead. Trans men do not magically gain the expectation of leisurely walk down the road at 3 am without consequence. Trans women who might have had this expectation will naturally lose it. Likewise if a trans man is still exhibiting oppressed behaviors (you must be able to cook and clean, you must be a good housewife over anything else, you must bear the emotional load of everyone around you, you must be QUIET) how could he gain privilege solely by transition but not adopting the male sentiments that privilege produces to men? Feel free to debunk any of this, I hope my points made somewhat sense

the TRF position was not created to stand up to this kinna logical scrutiny

hey, i hope you're doing well & having a great music!!

Thank you!

Love it when TRF people send you death threats and begging for you to die. I thought calling for violence on any transfem is transmisogyny? Or is it only when being told an opinion is wrong?

Harassment for thee, not for me.

I’m so sorry, I thought your banner was actually you but with cool cosplay on. Forgive me for sinning 😩

You should continue thinking of that as me lol.

“He’s a girl to me <3” crowd when the new and improved “she’s a man to me <3” crowd pulls up

literally

[ascaryghost]

✨people of edblr✨

18+ ppl with eds who can barely restrict anymore bc they are just so so so tired but they also can’t stop wanting to restrict bc they’ve been stuck in this hell for ~10 years

🤝

trans (possibly polish and or autistic) men who feels like they need to lose weight to lose curves in order to “pass”/relieve dysphoria and if there was better trans health care things would probably be a hell of a lot easier for them but most countries suck ass

🤝

teenage girls living in dysfunctional families, resorting to trying to be perfect and “coquette”, still in the honeymoon of anamia posting tspo and don’t rly realize how horrible this is yet. prolly also has twt posting fatspo

🤝

“i’m losing weight healthily im just on edblr for some tips,,, i’m not anorexic or whatever” but literally compulsively excersises everyday and feels like they can’t have anything that society deems unhealthy

🤝

memelords (possibly lgbtq+) who are scarily good at faking mental stability, nobody irl would suspect they have an ed. they’re the fun, jokey “i love food” friend but when they r alone they go on edblr to post really dry ed memes.

🤝

logs on once a month to check everyone and post about how they wanna die. they really need help but are probably really isolated.

🤝

❤️❤️❤️❤️hewo im ana ajm 41… i mean 14… i can be ur ana coach❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

👊

[formulatrash]

ppl seem pretty happy about having found smth to hate chadwick for now

sigh. I'm always. cautious because I think she is being given chronically bad advice - and also what was some idiot man from the Times doing asking her about tHe TrAnS dEbAtE given she competes in an un-separated sport, gender-wise and W Series has made it repeatedly clear that trans competitors would be welcome. like, whatever that guy's agenda is sucks.

anyway. the inherent grossness of men interviewing female athletes aside, the thing is: what she said was fundamentally wrong. and internally contradictory. there should be no barriers to women competing with men - and I mean this totally genuinely. there shouldn't be a gap. we should maybe classify overall athletes by height and weight for contact sports, like we do with boxing within gendered classes because a 5'2" person beating the shit out of 5'10" me would be funny as hell but also embarrassing for me. but there should not be the gap that there is between women's and men's sports. and trans athletes do not exist within that gap, in any case. Lia Thomas is not, contrary to screamed views, #1 in women's swimming - she's barely even anywhere ranked on a national level, she would never make an Olympic team. she would be absolutely smoked by Katie Ledecky, the actual GOAT of US women's swimming, who scares the shit out of the men.

the problems with women's sport are the same ones Jamie faces: there's a lack of funding, a lack of belief, a huge gap in the number of professional female athletes to men. a huge gap in visibility, a huge gap in coverage, a huge gap in the amount of time women have been allowed to compete. a colossal gap in how children who compete are treated and encouraged and their access to leagues to compete in and improve.

none of that has anything to do with trans people.

what worries me is Jamie has obviously endured a lot of irrational hate over her career. I honestly think one of the reasons she struggled in FRECA was because her car was broken in first practice - quite a big deal - then she came back and got a podium on her first weekend. which for some reason had a bunch of people declaring her and W Series and women at large washed. because they fucking cannot stand a woman to get even a chance. not just can't take them succeeding, they literally can't fucking take it if she gets a chance.

and that worries me because it makes me wonder if Jamie won't listen on the trans thing because she's had to enter this insular headspace and she's, y'know, not as old or successful as other drivers who've had to confront this and sort themselves out about it and she's just saying what her team boss says so: heck. damn. hate it.

[loki-zen]

thinking about an old post of mine that inspired minor drama relatively recently (by being taken out of context and accused of being TERFy, as ppl do), and how the feelings it was about have changed over time.

the point of contention was basically me writing about how trans women didn’t feel like Representation to me, as a “woman” (retrospective scare quotes).

that is to say that - whatever it is you are supposed to feel, as a woman, when someone is like the First Woman To Blah, or when women get to be badass in a movie for a change* - a trans woman wouldn’t make me feel it.

In the fictional context it would be more like, idk, more and better black people representation — a feeling of “I definitely think everyone should have this stuff, and moreover that art should delve into the complexity of all human experiences not just those of a narrow demographic, and so I approve, but I couldn’t claim to have a personal connection to the Representation(tm) side of this, I don’t in any sense beyond empathy with another human (and perhaps their particular traits and/or circumstances beyond demographic markers) see ‘me’ reflected on the screen.”

and in the nonfictional context it was maybe ‘worse’ - I just felt like a lot of the time it wasn’t the same thing at all? like, if you accept as a premise that the reason any random woman is supposed to care about the First Woman To Blah is because it represents breaking through barriers that she (the random woman) had been subjected to all her life — then I very much felt like my experience of that had always been of people pointing to things that they thought were innately, biologically, unchangeably true about the sort of body that gets you assigned female at birth as the reason I should be gatekept from stuff. I felt like the same people who gatekept me from stuff would be, if anything, pushing trans women towards it in the belief that they were men and should do Man Things. I do get now that it’s a lot more complicated than that. And even at the time I certainly knew the fact of being trans could and would be a huge discrimination barrier, I just figured that this was a different barrier. But obviously also there are just trans women out there living as women and getting discriminated against as woman because bigots aren’t parsimonious and also trans status is hardly universally accurately discernible.

(* which presumably I must have felt, at least somewhat and in some contexts back then in order to make the comparison. I seem to remember that I did. I’m not really taking a stance on whether or not I do now or in what situations bc tbh I’m really not sure)

and also i just on some level didn’t look at these girls and see someone who was like me and the thing is that these days I 100% do, and it’s all because I a know enough people now not to alieve any amount of the ‘lies to kids cis people’ version of what a trans woman is.

it was actually really harmful to my understanding of any of this to have it presented as if trans women were just AMAB women without any of the conflict and resentment around socially inhabiting a female identity that, to me, had always defined the experience of inhabiting a female identity.

so now i’m like oh yay other people who think gender is stupid but not in the same way as nonbinary people, inhabiting female social identities and feeling weird about it. Maybe someone else who revels in the weirdness of identifying with the ‘she’ in ‘suck her dick sunday’ as an expression of amused disdain about the notion that this is a juxtaposition and also because it feels nice to get your dick sucked! maybe not. but she’s ~me or close enough. cis chicks can be ~me too but tbh they’re on thin fucking ice. or maybe no one is. maybe Representation was stupid all along idk

[bratdykebarbie]

📌 please put your age in your bio/pinned before following me! 📌

‼️ also pls do not follow me if you are under 21, fully identify as a cishet man, or follow from an eating disorder/self-harm blog ‼️

💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖

hi I’m bratdykebarbie 🍒🐰

(formerly cherryykitten, cherryybunny)

welcome to my little corner of tumblr, you can call me cherry, Barbie, or anything nice 🍒

I’m a 27 y/o lesbian femme dyke from the US 💖

not a girl but not, like, NOT a girl 🖤🩶🩷🤍🩷🩶🖤

she/her, they/them, or a combo work for me ☺️

taken & collared by the best Mommy and dreaming of wife life 💖🔐💖

99.8% subby bratty baby bottom with a lil demon streak 🥺💖😈

every single thing I post is for the sapphics, lesbians, wlw, dykes, fags, sluts, girlies (gender neutral), homos, carpet munchers, cocksuckers, whores, queer babes—all of you pls consume all of my content with the utmost disrespect 💖

trans women are 100000% included in the above groups, and I post a lot of content about trans lesbians. as I figure out my own gender I feel an intense emotional connection with trans women, and it is so important to me to love on y’all 💖

attn: non-cishet men and/or ppl who identify partially as male or masc in any way*—you absolutely can follow, this isn’t rly a “men dni” space, I love you funky gender ppl 💖

if you’re questioning if you’re “too” male/masc to qualify then you probably aren’t cishet in which case come on in 💖

also welcome: anyone who previously identified or still feels like/presents as a cishet man and are figuring out their gender! I love you! good luck in your journey! 💖

*🚫 this does NOT include “transandrophobia truthers” and other transmisogynists, fuck off on outta here 🚫

I follow/send asks/like from sa*************ht ✨

header art is “When the butterflies are just warning signs” by Relm of RelmArtist 🌸

“my gender is just left of girl” post by the lovely @femmedummy (formerly femmeidiot) 💖

title is from “(BDE) Big Dyke Energy” by FLAVIA 💖

feel free to ask me anything 💐

love y’all 💖

(updated 12/17/24)

ADDENDUM UPDATED 6/2/24

I will not tolerate TERF shit, “gender critical” nonsense, or other transphobia/transmisogyny on my blogs. get the fuck out of here with that shit, you are not welcome. fix your hearts or die 🫀🔪

rules/dni, kinks/likes, and tags under the cut ⬇️💖

basic rules

❤️ put ur age in ur bio ❤️

❌ no minors/under 21/TERFs/transmisogynists/other bigots/cishets/Nazis/gross old men w/ stolen porn blogs/etc ❌

❌ no “afab transfem” shit/no TME ppl who call themselves transfem(me), no ~transandrophobia truther~ losers, no transmisogynists of any flavor, fix your shit ❌

❌ no non-transfem sissy/cd/trap blogs ❌

❌ pls don’t follow if you post any extreme cnc/violence, actual non-consent, pedophilia, the word r*pe, gore, thinspo, self-harm, anything with blood (vampire stuff is fine), “icky kiddo” stuff, actual incest, scat/emeto, gun play, drowning/suffocation, necro, bestiality (furries incl sexual are fine), or gaslighting/kidnapping/extreme psychological stuff ❌

❌ also pls don’t follow if you PRIMARILY post fauxcest, abdl, M/s, intox, or piss ❌

(those last ones aren’t major triggers so if you post a variety of other things it’s probably fine, I’ll evaluate on a case-by-case basis, I’m generally ok with you following me, if you’ve been following me and are just now seeing any of this then you’re fine. also, if I follow you first, then you’re good obvs)

❌ again for the court, absolutely no fucking TERFs/rAdFeM/“gender critical” bullshit, get the fuck off my blog and genuinely please fix your hearts or die ❌

💚 kinks/things I like & post fairly often 💚

—“good girl”, brat play, breeding*, sucking girls’ dicks, cum/swallowing/facials, teasing, dirty talk/talking me through an orgasm, overstim, “mommy” as a title, gentle/soft domination, loving degradation, hickeys/bruises/marks/scratching/biting, the words “cunt”/“pussy”/“cock”/“dick”/“hole”, a very gentle hand around my neck, the word “little”**, being gagged, being called “baby”, using the vibe during, collars, being called bunny/kitten/puppy/pet, having my ass smacked during, taking pictures, making audios, being passed around by more than one girl at a time

* NOT pregnancy but “I’m gonna put a baby in you/knock you up” is 🥵

** “little slut”, “little pet”, “little angel”, “[perfect/precious/sweet/good/etc] little [noun]”

⚠️ things I like a little/in concept and want to explore/do more & don’t post as much ⚠️

—face slapping, free use, light spanking/impact, bondage/shibari, bigger toys, service topping, giving prostate orgasms, VERY light somno (sleepy but not asleep), leashes, being recorded, “daddy” as a title

🏷️ tags (need updating) 🏷️

horny text posts - #bratdykebarbie.txt; also #cherryykitten.txt and #cherryybunny.txt 💞

miscellaneous/personal text posts - #bratdykebarbie.misc; also #cherryykitten.misc and #cherryybunny.misc ✏️

any pics I post - #bratdykebarbie.jpg; also #cherryykitten.jpg and #cherryybunny.jpg 📸

posts from Dyke Week 2024, spent with 2 tumblr friends and full of the hottest nastiest gay sex - ​#dyke week 2k24 💖🌈🍊🐰🐝🌈💖

asks and submissions—

#bratdykebarbie asks / #bratdykebarbie subs

old asks/submissions—

#cherrybunny asks / #cherryybunny submissions

&

#cherrykitten asks / #cherryykitten submissions

〰️ this section was last updated 12/17/2024 〰️