#not a post to make them compete on how “evil” they are - saying just in case haha

[lime202]

Poor Stanley. One disembodied voice was already enough, now there are two of them? (I’m not the only one who found parallels between the Narrator and the Doctor, right?)

Yes the words are all real dialogue (snippets/shortened for convenience). Could switch them with how similar in energy they are.

EDIT: Typed Speech (and following thoughts)

Doctor: The subject scrambles for advantage. They appear lost and disoriented. Heavy breathing is indicative of fear, and rightly so. Let's test the response to said fear when pushed into action...

Narrator: Oh, dear me, what's the matter Stanley? Is it that you have no idea where you are going or what you're supposed to be doing right now?

Doctor: Don't fight. Fighting only makes it work quicker… You know, I never thought I'd see another like you. A human. Certainly not an employee like you.

Narrator: You want to control this world; that's fine. But I'm going to destroy it first, so you cant.

Doctor: Please, do keep making this enjoyable for me. I'll be taking notes.

Narrator: You really believe there's an answer! How many times will you replay this bit?

Doctor: You realize the futility of this, don't you?

[Narrator and Doctor's laugher depicted in unison.]

— — —

Following thoughts are just quickly noting some of the parallels/coincidences between the two games:

Cole journal entry 3 -> mention of employee named Stanley, cataloguing employees numerically (427, 431, 432…) ~ documenting experiments (1170, 1188, 1222…), doctor and narrator both being creators, the silent protagonists, themes of ego, then existential horror/dread masked with normalcy

[communistkenobi]

I was looking for a book recently on an online storefront and was recommended a book written by a physicist about the history of humanity. this was a popular press book that was not intended to be read by other academics, but it reminded me of this niche genre of books, with experts from the physical sciences writing about human behaviour or history or what have you. Could you imagine coming across the inverse? A popular press book that purported to explain physics written by a historian?

There is some deep imbalance in how public perceptions of “general intelligence” seem to work - those in STEM are generally recognised for their competence, expertise, and intellectual acumen, and this recognition can be generalised, that at some level a demonstration of your expertise of eg astrophysics is a demonstration of your abilities of investigation writ large, that you have figured out some central underlying element of science that allows for basically limitless intellectual extension to any field or subject. A physicist can write a book about human history and be taken seriously by the general public on the assumption that physics is more difficult to understand than history, so any lower domain of investigation is open to them. The reverse is often not extended to a lot of the social sciences, particularly the theoretically-heavy social sciences; theory is just making bullshit up at the end of the day, it has no real practical application because any questions about the philosophy of thought or knowledge - how did we come to know what we know and under what conditions do we know these things - is just the indulgent wankery of people who can’t find a real job.

And of course it would be silly to insist that because you have read Hegel, an infamously difficult thinker, you know how to interpret the lab print-outs of electrochemists - I don’t want this goofy concept of general intelligence to be applied everywhere, I want it to go away entirely, but its current uneven applications across scientific fields indicates a broader problem with public conceptions of expertise and knowledge.

This probably has something to do with anti-communism on some level - social science is not generally regarded as “real science” (in no small part because social science is often the field of bureaucrats, and while animosity towards bureaucrats is deeply sympathetic, I suspect the reasons for this animosity are not themselves scientifically grounded), that while there is a public understanding of “objective facts” that exist prior and external to human interpretation, the politics of knowledge are hegemonically oriented around liberalism, to such an extent that any critique of the assumptions of knowledge are viewed as a dogmatic denial of reality done for the purposes of political infiltration and brainwashing. And I don’t feel totally unqualified to say this, given that this is basically the de facto response from students encountering Marxism for the first time in university. “Marx is too dogmatic” may as well be inscribed above the doors to lecture halls. Hell, Jordan Peterson made a nice little public career for himself railing against “post-modern neo-Marxism,” a phrase so nonsensical that the fact he was not immediately and permanently laughed out of the public arena for saying it is an indictment of how politically illiterate we are as a society!

And the infuriating thing is that a lot of social science scholarship (not just from the US but especially from the US) is complete horseshit, just pure evil garbage motivated solely by a desire to justify the fact that we do really need to keep killing tens of thousands of people a year to keep this whole party going. Every sociologist who calls themselves a “methodological individualist” is contributing to the long-standing tradition of eugenics scholarship but is too craven and vain to admit to this. If you had to describe the sum-total of the social scientific scholarly output of the west in a word, it would be ‘mysticism.’ Because it is the case that anti-colonial, anti-imperial, and anti-capitalist investigations of the political-economic conditions of the world have produced social scientific knowledge on par with the discovery of the atom, but it is not treated as such. “It is right to rebel” is not just a moral claim about violence but a scientific summary of human history.

But I think it is precisely this reactionary state of affairs that makes people devalue the social sciences as an actual site of legitimate investigation, that understanding the historical trajectory of ideas or the political conditions of life are valuable pursuits for any just society. Because social science deals with the social world, the political conditions under which the social world is investigated and understood are themselves bound up in questions of political and economic power. But this equally extends to the physical sciences - I know at least in environmental sciences, there is an ever-growing reckoning with climate change as an imminent threat to all life on earth, and environmental scientists cannot avoid talking about the political conditions of our planet even if all they want to do is study a river. Genocide is measurable in soil samples taken in the American continent. The separation of the environmental from the social is itself a historically contingent arrangement of knowledge.

But this is infuriating to even complain about because I don’t want to sound like an entitled academic or ego-bruised professional. I have no desire to start a faculty war with the STEM fields. I feel secure in my own expertise. I do not want anyone to “recognise my greatness” I am just profoundly lonely in this whole affair. and it just so happens that we exist in terribly anti-intellectual conditions for the most cruel and ugly reasons possible, and so we (me, I) have to suffer seeing books on sale claiming to give a general account of human history written by a physicist

[felassan]

Cliff notes on the new info on Dragon Age: The Veilguard in today’s issue of Game Informer (magazine hub link):

Edit/update: I tidied up this post. ^^

---

In CC you can customize things like shoulder width, chest size, glute size, hip width, how bloodshot your eyes are, nose crookedness, and more

There are hundreds of sliders for body proportions

CC detail: “Features like skin hue, tone, melanin”

There is nudity in DA:TV, “which I learned firsthand while customizing my Rook” in CC

Rook’s backstory also affects “reputation standing”, along with the other previously-known things like in-game dialogue etc

Lords of Fortune are pirate-themed, “piratic”

Rook ascends because of competency, not because of a magical McGuffin, contrasting with the 'destiny-has-chosen you’ angle DA:I has for the Inquisitor

Rook is here because they chose to be, “and that speaks to the kind of character that we’ve built. Someone needs to stop this, and Rook says, ‘I guess that’s me'”

The 4 voices we can choose for Rook each have a pitch shifter in CC

The game starts inside the bar (as previously detailed in other coverage)

In some dialogue wheels there is a “romantically inclined ‘emotional’ response” option. These are the replies that will build relationships with characters, romantic and platonic alike, but you can ignore them if you want to. Giving a companion the cold shoulder might nudge them into another companion’s embrace however

Bellara’s surname is Lutara

In the streets of Minrathous (in the opening segment of the game), there is a wide, winding pathway with a pub which has a dozen NPCs in it (is this The Swan tavern?)

The devs used the DA:TV CC to make each in-world NPC, except for specific characters like companions

There is smart use of verticality, scaling and wayfinding in the gameplay

If you play as e.g. a qunari Rook, the camera adjusts to ensure larger characters like them loom over those below. The camera also adjusts appropriately for dwarves to demonstrate their smaller stature

Neve Gallus is described as being capable

The Venatori Cultists we fight in the opening segment of the game are seizing the chaos caused by the demons unleashed by Solas’ ritual to try and take the opportunity to take over the city

As you traverse deeper and deeper into Solas’ hideout, more of his murals appear on the walls, and things 'get more elven'. Rhodes says “this is because you’re symbolically going back in time, as Minrathous is a city built by mages on the bones of what was originally the home of the elves”

At the heart of Solas’ hideout is his personal eluvian

Demons are fully redesigned in this game, on their original premise as creatures of feeling that live and die off the emotions around them. “As such, they are just a floating nervous system, pushed into this world from the Fade, rapidly assembled into bodies out of whatever scraps they find”

In the opening, we stop Solas’ ritual and save the world. “For now” anyways. Rook passes out moments later and wakes up in a dream-like landscape to the voice of Solas. He explains that a few drops of Rook’s blood interacted with the ritual, connecting them to the Fade forever. (I guess this is why they said in the Discord Q&A on June 14th that Rook has good reasons to want to avoid blood magic)

He also says that he was attempting to move Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain (confirming who the two Evil Gods are) to a new prison, because the one he had previously constructed was failing. Unfortunately, Solas is trapped in the Fade by our doing, and the two gods are now free. “It’s up to Rook to stop them”, thus setting the stage for our adventure

Rook wakes up after this with Harding and Neve “in the lair of the Dread Wolf himself”, a special magical realm in the Fade called The Lighthouse. It’s a towering structure centered amongst various floating islands. This is where the team bonds, grows, and prepares for its adventures. It becomes more functional and homier as you do. “Already, though, it’s a beautifully distraught headquarters for the Veilguard, although they aren’t quite referring to themselves as that just yet”.

Because it was Solas’ home base, it's gaudy, with his fresco murals adorning various walls, greenery hanging from above, and hues of purple and touches of gold everywhere. Since it’s in the Fade, which is a realm of dreams that responds to your world state and emotion, the Lighthouse “reflects the chaos and disrepair of the Thedas you were in moments ago”

Clock symbols over dialogue icons signal optional dialogue options

At this point you can head over to Neve, engage in dialogue, and try and flirt with her

There is a dining hall in the Lighthouse. A plate, cutlery and a drinking chalice are at the end of a massive table. Matt Rhodes says that this is a funny and sad look at Solas’ isolated existence, and an example of the detail BioWare’s art team has put into DA:TV. “It’s like when you go to a friend’s house and see their bedroom for the first time; you get to learn more about them”

There is also a library, which is the central area of the The Lighthouse. It’s here that the party will often regroup and prepare for what’s next

The team decides that it must reach the ritual site back in Arlathan Forest. Corinne Busche said that the writer was "missing unique dialogue options here because I’m qunari; an elf would have more to say about the Fade due to their connection to it. The same goes for my backstory earlier in Minrathous. If I had picked the Shadow Dragons background, Neve would have recognized me immediately, with unique dialogue”

The team decide their next move. They go to Solas’ eluvian and back through to the ritual site in Arlathan Forest. However, it’s not fully functional without Solas, and while it returns them to the Forest, it’s not exactly where they want to go. Then a demon-infested suit of mechanized armor known as a Sentinel attacks them, and two NPCs appear to save you: the Veil Jumpers Strife and Irelin. Harding recognizes them, which you would expect if you read the comic Dragon Age: The Missing. They are experts in ancient elven magic. A cutscene ensues and we learn that Strife and Irelin need help finding Bellara Lutara. This cutscene is long and has multiple dialogue options.

“There’s a heavy emphasis on storytelling and dialogue, and it feels deep and meaty, like a good fantasy novel. BioWare doesn’t shy away from minutes-long cutscenes”

For Rook, this story is about what does it mean to be a leader? We define their leadership style with our choices. “From the sound of it, my team will react to my chosen leadership style in how my relationships play out.” This is demonstrated within the game’s dialogue and a special relationship meter on each character’s companion screen

Bellara is deep within Arlathan Forest, and following the events of the prologue, something is up here. Three rings of massive rocks fly through the air, protecting what appears to be a central fortress. Demon Sentinels plague the surrounding lands.

In gameplay/combat, players complete every swing in real time. Special care was taken in development for animation swing-through and cancelling. We can dash, parry, charge moves, and a completely revamped healing system that allows us to use potions at our discretion by hitting right on the d-pad. You can combo attacks and even ‘bookmark’ combos with a quick dash, which means that you can pause a combo’s status with a dash to safety and continue the rest of the combo afterward

Abilities can be used to customize your kit. They can be used on the fly as long as you account for cooldowns

When you pause and pull up the ability Wheel, it highlights you and your companions’ skills. There you can choose abilities, queue them, target specific enemies, and strategize with synergies and combos

Each character plays the same in that you execute light and heavy attacks with the same buttons, use abilities with the same buttons, and interact with the combo wheel in the same way, regardless of which class you select

Sword and shield warriors can hip-fire or aim their shield and throw it like Captain America

Warriors can parry incoming attacks which can stagger enemies. Rogues have a larger parry window. The mage the writer played couldn’t parry at all. Instead they throw up a shield that blocks incoming attacks automatically, so long as you have the mana to maintain it

On the start/pause screen: it has the map, journal, character sheets, skill tree, and a library for lore information. You can use it to cross-compare equipment and equip new gear for Rook and their companions, build weapon loadouts for quick change-ups mid-combat, and customize you and your party’s abilities and builds via an easy-to-understand skill tree. There aren’t in-depth minutiae, just "real numbers". For example, an unlocked trait might increase damage by 25 percent against armor, but that’s as in-depth as the numbers get. Passive abilities unlock jump attacks and guarantee critical hit opportunities, while abilities add moves like a Wall of Fire to your arsenal if you’re a mage. As you spec out this skill tree, which is 100 percent bespoke to each class, you’ll work closer to unlocking a spec, complete with a unique ultimate ability

“Sentinels and legions of darkspawn”

Combat is flashy and quick, with different types of health bars. Greenish-blue represents a barrier, which is taken down most effectively with ranged attacks

The game is gorgeous, with sprinkles, droplets, and splashes of magic in each attack a mage unleashes

The game looks amazing on consoles both in fidelity and performance modes

The mission to find Bellara is called “In Entropy’s Grasp”. You find her. She is the first companion you recruit (as Neve auto-joins). If your background is Veil Jumper, you get unique dialogue here with Bellara. She explains that everyone there is all trapped in a Veil Bubble, and there’s no way out once you pass through it. Despite the dire situation, she is bubbly, witty, and charming. She is spunky and effervescent

Companions are the faces of their factions, and in this case with Bellara, their entire area of the world. She is our window into Arlathan Forest. She is described as a sweetheart and a nerd for ancient elven artifacts, which is why she’s dressed more like an academic than a combatant. Her special arm gauntlet is useful both for tinkering with her environment and taking down enemies. While Neve uses ice magic and can slow time with a special ability, Bellara specializes in electricity, and she can also use magic to heal you. Her electric magic is effective against Sentinels. “However, without Bellara, we could also equip a rune that converts my ice magic, for a brief duration, into electricity to counter the Sentinels”

If you don’t direct your companions in combat, they are fully independent and will attack on their own

You progress at this point through the Forest, encountering more and more darkspawn. Bellara says that they have never been this far before because the underground Deep Roads, which they usually escape from, aren’t nearby. However, with “blighted” (BLIGHTED!) elven gods roaming the world, and thanks to the Blight’s radiation-like spread, it’s a much bigger threat in DA:TV than any prior DA game

The Forest has elven ruins, dense greenery and disgusting Blight tentacles and pustules

The style of the game is more high fantasy than anything in the series thus far and almost reminiscent of the whimsy of Fable. Matt Rhodes says that this is the result of the game’s newfound dose of magic: “The use of magic has been an evolution as the series has gone on. It’s something we’ve been planning for a while because Solas has been planning all this for a while. In the past, you could hint at cooler magical things in the corner because you couldn’t actually go there, but now we actually can, and it’s fun to showcase that.” The Forest’s whimsy will starkly contrast to the game’s other areas. The devs promise some grim locations and even grimmer story moments because, without that contrast, everything falls flat. Corinne says it’s like a “thread of optimism” pulled through otherworldly chaos ravaging Thedas. At this point in the game, Bellara’s personality is that thread

We can advance our bonds with our companions on their own personal quests and by including them in our party on main quests. Every Relationship Level you rank up, shown on their character sheet, nets you a skill point to spend on them. “The choices you make, what you say to companions, how you help them, and more all matter to their development as characters and party members”. Each companion has access to 5 abilities.

Each companion has issues, problems, and personal quests to complete. “Bellara has her own story arc that runs parallel to and informs the story path you’re on” (They’ve said that all of the companions have this too in previous promo material)

You progress deeper into the forest and Bellara spots a floating fortress and thinks that the artifact needed to destroy the Veil Bubble is in there. To reach it, we must remove the floating rock rings, and Bellara’s unique ability, Tinker, can do just that by interacting with a piece of ancient elven technology nearby. Rook can acquire abilities like Tinker later to complete such tasks in instances where Bellara, for example, isn’t in the party

Bellara has to activate three of these in the Forest to reach the castle. Each one you activate brings forth a bunch of Sentinels, demons, and darkspawn to defeat

You can create Arcane Bombs on enemies. It does high damage after being hit by a heavy attack

It sounds like mage characters can charge heavy attacks on their magical staffs. “then switch to magical daggers in a second loadout accessed with a quick tap of down on the d-pad to unleash some quick attacks”

Some enemies are “Frenzied”, meaning that they hit harder, move faster, and have more health

After a few more combat sections, including against a Frenzied sentinel, we reach the center of the temple. In there is an artifact called the Nadas Dirthalen. Bellara knows that this means “the inevitability of knowledge”. Before we can progress, a darkspawn ogre boss attacks, hitting hard with unblockable, red-coded attacks and a massive shield that you need to take down first. It is weak to fire

After defeating it (it’s a climactic arena fight), Bellara uses a special crystal to power the artifact and remove it from the pedestal, which destroys the Veil Bubble. Then, the Nadas Dirthalen comes alive as an Archive Spirit, but because the crystal used to power it breaks, we learn little about this spirit before it disappears. Bellara thinks that she can fix it (fixing broken stuff is her thing), so the group heads back to the Veil Jumper camp. The writer’s demo then ended.

The design of the game is not open world. The devs describe it as a “hub-and-spoke” design where the needs of the story are served by the level design. A version of DA:I’s Crossroads return (the network of teleporting eluvians) and this is how players will traverse across northern Thedas. “Instead of a connected open world, players will travel from eluvian to eluvian to different stretches of this part of the continent”. e.g. Minrathous, tropical beaches, Arlathan Forest, “to grim and gothic areas and elsewhere”. Some of these areas are large and full of secrets and treasures. Others are smaller and more focused on linear storytelling. Arlathan Forest is an example of this, but it still has optional paths and offshoots to explore for loot, healing potion refreshes, and other things.

Each location has a minimap, though linear levels like In Entropy’s Grasp won’t have the 'fog of war' that disappears as you explore like in some of the game’s bigger locations

The game has the largest number of diverse biomes in DA history

The Thedas of DA:TV “lives in the uncertainty”. “the mystery of its narrative”, “the implications of its lore”

The writer is surprised by BioWare’s command over the notoriously difficult Frostbite engine, and by how much narrative thought the dev team poured into these characters, even for BioWare.

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[source: the Game Informer pages from Issue 367 - the cover story from June 18th (link), two]

[hrrtshape]

　loa myths. . . the evil eye.

we all know it’s the girlboss’s (you!! right there!!) favourite scapegoat, the every girl’s cosmic parking ticket. lost your airpods? evil eye. broke a nail on a fresh set? evil eye. crush left you on read? evil eye. it's the metaphysical equivalent of blaming mercury retrograde except, instead of the planets, it's allegedly powered by the scorn of envious onlookers and mediterranean aunties with olympic-level side-eye. but does it actually exist? or have we all just been psychologically waterboarded by folklore and tumblr witches with a mean streak?????

hi. i’m emma aka hrrtshape aka losing my mind, and this is my series on loa myths. let’s dissect.

if you’re even slightly invested in the law of assumption, if you’ve ever whispered "i've already gotten 100% on my maths exam" at your school's bathroom mirror like it’s conjuration, you know the doctrine : you, and you alone, script your reality. no outside forces. no vengeful spirits. no astral hitmen waiting to kneecap you for posting a thirst trap.

so tell me why the evil eye gets a free pass?

loa is built on one principle : your assumptions are reality. not your mother’s assumptions, not your hater’s assumptions, not the assumptions of some girl in your comments section who thinks you don’t deserve nice things. if someone could curse you just by glaring at your holiday pics with a heart full of malice, that would mean they have power over you. and that? that does not compute. not with neville goddard, not with logic, not with anything that doesn’t require a tinfoil hat.

"but wait," the superstitious cry, "what about all those stories? the ones where people start succeeding and suddenly, inexplicably, the universe bitch-slaps them back down?"

ok, sure. but let’s engage the last two brain cells standing : correlation is not causation. you didn’t spiral because someone hexed you. you spiralled because you expected backlash. because deep down, you still believe success comes at a cost. this isn’t the evil eye. this is self-sabotage in designer packaging. a cognitive bias with a mood ring. in other words, it's your own doing. sorry !! i say this from experience !!

and at its core, the evil eye is about envy. the idea that someone else’s jealousy is potent enough to kneecap your manifestations is, frankly, embarrassing. you’re telling me their side-eye holds more weight than your own self-concept????? that’s giving way too much credit to people who aren’t even in your tax bracket, let alone competing with the amazing-ness of your mind. if your reality is dictated by your own mind, why would anyone else’s bad vibes even make the guest list?

if the evil eye were real in the way people claim, it would mean that everyone walking around with an ounce of jealousy is armed with some kind of psychic bazooka, capable of obliterating happiness on sight. but we know that’s not how this works. you don’t see billionaires suddenly losing all their wealth because millions of people resent them. if collective envy had that much power, the entire celebrity ecosystem would collapse overnight. taylor swift would be playing gigs at a dive bar in ohio. jeff bezos would be begging on the streets. and yet, they thrive. why???? because their self-concept, delusional or otherwise, trumps the ill will of the masses.

let’s get existential. because i'm drinking champagne in paris ( power of manifestation,,,,, btw!!! ). fear of the evil eye is just another form of externalising responsibility. it’s easier to blame anonymous haters than admit that your own doubts might be the saboteur. it’s easier to believe that bad luck is some external hex than to consider that you, deep down, might not believe you deserve good things without consequence. every time you assume the evil eye is after you, you reinforce the idea that your wins are fragile, that you are teetering on the edge of ruin at all times. and if you assume that???? congratulations, you just manifested it.

so do you need to start flinging salt over your shoulder every time you post a beach pic? no. do you need to buy another etsy-certified "evil eye protection bracelet" from a girl named sagemoon333? also no. the only thing you need protection from is your own limiting beliefs. the moment you stop believing in external threats, they stop existing.

because at the end of the day, the evil eye is like a bad plot twist: dramatic, overhyped, and only real if you decide to buy in.

but hey, believe what you want. just don’t be shocked when your own assumptions make it real.

stay tuned for part two, where we tackle [ censored ]. because if i hear one more person say [ censored ]. i’m manifesting a federal ban on that phrase !!!!!

[seriousfic]

Why The Last Jedi doesn't work as subversion is that it continuously requires the characters to act like they KNOW they're characters in Star Wars and not LIVING the Star Wars.

I'll give you an example. Rey. In TFA, her parents are simply missing and she's waiting for them to come back. In TLJ, she suddenly thinks they're an important secret for Kylo to reveal to her because she's pathologically suppressed the truth that they're drunks who sold her for alcohol money (or, you know, blue milk money, whatever).

But why would she ever think that she had an important family or heritage unless she knew she was the protagonist of a space epic and having an important family or heritage is something that happens to those?

Or DJ. The Benecio del Toro character is supposed to be a subversion of the rogue with a heart of gold trope. But why would Finn and Bangs ever think he's a rogue with a heart of gold that's implicitly trustworthy? They find him in a prison cell and have no reason to think he has any loyalty to the Resistance--he even gives a speech about how he considers the First Order and the Resistance to be equally bad!

In ANH, both Luke and Obi-Wan treated Han like exactly what he was, a mercenary, who had to be cajoled into helping out until finally he showed his true colors by attacking the Death Star. They didn't know they were characters going through a story arc. The Sequel Trilogy characters act like they do, until Rian Johnson pranks them by twisting the story arc they had no reason to think they were participating in.

And the entire Luke storyline is a subversion of the entire idea of mentorship. Luke doesn't teach Rey anything. She doesn't need to be taught anything. It's unclear why she even thinks she does, given that she already beat down Kylo Ren with ease, but, again, character in a story. She thinks she needs a training montage, Rian says "she doesn't get a training montage!", and scene.

It's all very meta and post-modern and taken at face value, it doesn't make any sense once you ask obvious questions like "Why shouldn't Poe know that there is a plan to save the fleet?" Defenders of TLJ dismiss those obvious questions because they see them as unimportant next to the post-modern gamesmanship the movie is really concerned with, but Star Wars doesn't work like a Scream movie, where the characters are largely obsessed with horror movies and then, ironically, placed inside a horror movie.

That's a kind of cynicism that doesn't really work for Star Wars; you can't do a sincere narrative about the triumph of good over evil when the characters are mostly convinced there's no big difference between Good or Evil winning.

To go back to ANH, Obi-Wan is emphatic about how wonderful the Jedi were, how tragic it was that they were wiped out, how awful it is to live under the Empire, and how important it is to fight to restore the Republic. That's the baseline of sincerity that this kind of primordial mythmaking needs to work.

With TLJ, most every character on both sides are cynical, foolish, corrupt, power-tripping, shrill, pompous... most of all, incompetent. It seems less like an epic battle between the noble and the venal--more like two competing cliques of sitcom characters, only one of them is inexplicably Nazi-themed. You're left pretty much adrift, with no characters to sympathize with and no conflicts to become invested in, just visuals and 'themes'.

But children can't get invested in themes or subversion. Neither can most people. It's the province of the elitist to care about subtext over story--the sick doldrums of modern art--and Star Wars isn't for them. It's for the people.

[sleepy-fiction]

Silco x Ambessa Headcanons

how do ambessa and silco act in their relationship? favorite things to do, how they show their love, and what their sex life is like.

3K EST

(powerful art from seaangel00 on tt)

tgs: fluff at first, NSFW, cuddling, cunnilingus, rope play, manhandling, dom switch!ambessa, switch!silco, absolute sweetness ahead i pray you read this post!! mildly proofread

an: if u like this post u should totally check out my other Ambessa Silco post, "A Friend From Noxus"!!

Ambessa is manhandling silco when it's time for fun.

He likes it, although he tries to keep his authority. It's the one moment where he gets to fully relax in the arms of someone, dare he say, more competent and trustworthy than himself. He truly gets to let go, relinquish his power, and allow himself to be used by Ms. Merdarda.

She likes it because she gets to blow off steam. Dominating is her pride in life. She also likes how gentle he is and pliant. he accepts anything from her if it earns him her company. She's never felt so appreciated. Whether it be her preaching on hours about a topic he's not familar with or sparing with soldiers, he always listens and watches her so intently.

Their favorite activity is letting a fond vinyl play with some aged wine while chatting about whatever comes to mind. Complaining about idiot subordinates, idiot enemies, troublesome daughter worries, tales of betrayal, woes of themselves, and the future - they seem to just understand each other well.

Silco is the only man in the world, outside of her late husband, that she truly feels equal to. Their fights for power, to protect their families, and secure their birthright, however, means that it makes them quick to connect, too. Silco isn't a good man. He knows it. Ambessa isn't a good woman. She knows it. They don't try to change or fix eachother, they carry their burdens and push limits for their wants. Evil is a complex scale to them. Who can draw the line? They have similar ideals in this manner.

Their girls, ooh, their girls. Ambessa and Silco love their daughters from the bottom of their heart. They share many fond memories discussing them, sharing stories, and their favorite pictures. Ambessa admires Jinx's creativity. Her craftsmanship is sublime. And for silco, who would've guessed that the grand Mel from the council would be Ambessa's beloved daughter. But, to him, it made since considering how intelligent her mother was.

Their quiet evenings are the loveliest. They don't get to enjoy a lot of silence. Their enemies are many, their workload is intense, their cleanup is even worse. So when they have minutes to sit in silence, whether it be cuddling up at night, or reading two separate things in the same room, it always brings them at ease. Just knowing the other's presence lingers brings a sort of pride and comfort.

Their intelligence keeps them stuck like glue. Their constant playful battle of wits. Who is smarter, who is wider, who is faster, more secure. They bicker about anything (well, mostly ambessa does, silco loves to listen to her talk), and their chess matches? Phew, they can be intense. Silco's love for literature and writing, he found solice in Ambessa's brilliantly educated mind. She not only understands the thrills of complex theatre, she enjoys it. Her extensive knowledge of history and wars from places he's never even heard of can never fail to fascinate him.

He kills, she kills. They don't judge. Hell, they'll even organize strategic murders together. All to make a statement - to get what they want. Who would've guessed? Noxions can be good at putting idiots in their place, and boy do shimmer warheads make amazing soldiers.

Ambessa takes good care of him. It's no secret Silco is in poor health. He conceals it so well, it's impossible to catch him weak. After years of bonding in bloodshed, although, Silco opens up beautifully to her. And one thing about Ambessa, she will always take care of her pack. She's feeding him so well, trying to bring back the fat in his slender cheeks, and the color back in his pale skin.

Couple workouts? Oh, he hates it, but he'll put up with it for her. He knows she just wants to take care of him. And he'd be a liar if he didn't mention he loved it equally. He likes being pampered and spoiled if you will. He's not one to like dirt, let alone the dirty living that was pushed onto him, tarnishing his zeal for power in the first place. Ambessa makes sure he's got good mecidine and will always be there to help him with his shimmer injections. She's so incredibly gentle when she does it, almost makes you forget she's seven feet tall.

And, Oh, gentleness. Gentleness is the name of their relationship. Silco has always been attentive and gentle to the ones he loves. Ambessa always wants the best for her loved ones, and will be there to give a tough-love nudge. But she doesn't have to do that often with silco. Their so similar, so matured and aged in this world, she doesn't have to teach him anything serious. So this helps her blossom into trusting him more. Revealing her very sweet, gentle, talkative side. She loves to hold him in her massive arms, whisper tales to him until he falls asleep, caressing his smaller body, gazing at him so fondly.

She's the world's biggest mama bear, so it's not surprising that she's cuddly and affectionate, too. Silco's never really been a romance guy, infact he was confused for weeks when he found out she loved him. Him? Of all people? When she could have anyone at the drop of a hat? He was so boggled at the idea! So when she smothers him with her love, his brain freezes. He grew into it eventually, and though he's not vocal about affection, every now and again he'll bury himself into her while she's reading.

Or he'll cuddle up to her first, surpise her with fresh kisses when he's out the shower, or his favorite, kiss every scar on her body, and smother her knuckles with his lips. His physical affection is small compared to hers, but he makes up for it through quality time, acts of service, and always sticking close by.

Sex. Holy hell. It's magical. They battle for authority everytime. Silco was always a switch, but Ambessa? She always knew she was dominant- or so she thought? There were many times where she'd lose to his pussy eating, letting him take the lead and do the impossible- put her in doggy style!! God was it worth it though. She wasn't aware he knew how to move his body so quickly. Silco's dick is long and skinny, and he's incredibly nimble for an old hoot.

But often times, their play consists of intended takeouts, cunnilingus (Ambessa loves to devour him), and then penis in vagina. Typically, with Ambessa rocking his socks and riding him until the cows come home. Their first time had him loose, sweating, gripping onto her gorgeous curves while she rode backward cowgirl, her favorite position. He loves it too, it's like dinner and a delicious show.

Her ass is so juicy, her tits are big and gorgeous, just as much as she likes to lick him up, God he adores doing to her. She's so perfect, so fucking hot, and it's worse she knows it. Got this white man sweating! She's so strong, too. When she pins him down, he shudders every time, reveling in her force. She could really snap him in half. It's thrilling.

She loves manhandling him. Carrying him, putting him down, pinning him. He grunts and squirms every time he knows he loses in battles of strength. But in battles of technique? He'll have her cornered every time. It's like he's memories every sweet spot in her vagina, all the places she loves to be groped and touched, and how intense or how mellow she likes it too. Like he's memorized star charts of what days she likes it sweet or days she likes to fuck like animals.

Ambessa rides him so intensely, liking the slamming, penetrative feeling so much, she forgets the joy of having her walls slowly and deeply massaged by Silco's head. On sweet days, this is what she prefers. Silco eating her out real good, then fucking her slow (only with her permission!), kissing her neck if he's behind her, or making out deep and slow for every thrust, if he's in front.

They love overstimulation, restrictions and rope play, marathon sex (silco can barely keep up at times, but he puts up a brave fight), and cunnilingus. She'll edge him for hours if he'd let her, sucking him off so deliciously.

When they make love, they make serious love. It's the sweetest, most intimate thing. Lots of eye contact, affectionate words, caressing, rubberized, tender praises on both end, and kisses galore.

[helloarchivist]

every time you speak of shanks an angel gains back its wings. your latest post about shanks and how the fandom depicts him badly... like yes you get it.

I would like to think this side of the fandom, that yk contributes with fan work and shares a safe place, understands and loves one piece's themes and depth of the characters better than well, power scalers for example. Like I'm pretty sure everyone dislikes power scaling because it excludes the themes, plot and characters' personalities and thoughts, only making it about 'feats' and strength.

But ironically the same happens on this side of the fandom with characters' fanon archetypes. Watering down characters' personalities into a few 'main'' features and making them almost as shallow as power scalers do. And dear god does Shanks' 'incompetent' -archetype piss me off. When Shanks is exclusively portrayed as just an alcoholic, not taking anything seriously, bad at reading emotions and his crew is always exasperated with him. This depiction is just so frustrating because it doesn't feel like Shanks at all??? Like where do people get this interpretation of him??

1. Alcohol abuse. Do we ever even see Shanks drunk? Yes we see him drinking and partying (with Mihawk, Makino and Ace at least) but in these moments it seems like he's genuinely just having fun, he's celebrating Luffy. No one calls Zoro an alcoholic even though he is drinking Sake for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But bcs Shanks drinks beer when partying or IN A BAR and Sake in like that one scene with Becks he has alcohol problems. ok. cool.

2. Not taking anything seriously. Bruh. Again I feel like there's more moments where Shanks is serious than where he isn't. I don't even know what to say to this bcs the material speaks for itself.

3. Bad at reading emotions/just incompetent. Kinda going together with the previous point. I think this comes from that scene with Buggy where they were literally kids that just lost their whole family. How was Shanks supposed to know what to do there when Buggy didn't know either. Idk how people can blame Shanks in that situation, NEITHER ONE was at fault. To me he is one of the most competent characters in the whole show. He's an emperor of the sea yet not ruthless and evil like Kaido and Big Mom (or the WG). He handles situations maturely and ends more fights than starts them. Let's a lot of bullshit slide by the next generation like with Kidd and Bart. People seem to love him and be comfortable with him (that one lady hugging him sigh im jealous). Whitebeard pirates trusting him with Whitebeard and Ace's burial. etc.

4. His crew is always exasperated with him/He's a bad captain. Bro howwww HOW. Beck has like one line that's something like "Shanks is a lot" and to me that's just teasing. No one says that Luffy and Roger are bad captains even though they seem more chaotic than Shanks, but again it's an issue only when Shanks' crew teases him bruh!! He has a healthy relationship with his crew like Luffy cmon guys. But ig this headcanon only exists if you already think that Shanks is an alcoholic or something. Bcs I just can't understand it otherwise.

Okay this has gotten insanely long I'm so sorry LOL. I really needed to rant this out it seems... and I could've ranted even more. Ik he's just a fictional character and it's not that serious yada yada. Buuuuut I just wish we could see his character be explored more in the fandom!! I feel like this archetype is just misunderstanding his character so badly it genuinely hurts my brain. Anyways. Thank you for always blessing us with amazing Shanks headcanons. Genuinely like a breath of fresh air. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG SJKFHSK

Okay so first PLEEEEASE never apologize for sending me long impassioned messages I love hearing from people and I love talkin about Shanks (or anything anyone wants to talk about!) together!

I wanna go through this point by point so I don't miss anything so i'm gonna put this under the cut for ease of viewing but for your primary point I REALLY agree. I feel like a lot of people selectively ignore character nuance unless its about their faves, or easy to digest, and so especially people who have already kind of written Shanks off will just take the top 2 surface level traits we see of him--carefree and silly--and just throw everything else out with the bathwater.

Which like. To a degree I understand there are like 70 relevant and recurring characters outside the Strawhats and nobody is gonna put max brain power into all of them, but I feel like there's a difference between skimming a character and totally mischaracterizing them--and then dunking on or hating that character BASED on said mischaracterization. Weird work, to say the least. But okay, the rest under the cut --

You put the points by numbers so I will too just for the sake of organization.

Okay, so, Shanks' alcohol usage is implied in canon to be a dependency issue, but NOT in the way fandom tends to want to write him. We have actually seen Shanks drunk several times--the manga does a better job of depicting that clearly than the anime does but it's whatever--but generally when him being intoxicated is getting focus, it's to parallel Rayleigh, Rayleigh's drinking problem, and the implied reasons for said drinking problem. Shanks has spent the better part of 25 years pretty regularly intoxicated, but because it's implied that he knows things about the world, about the war that's coming, about what Roger saw and learned, perhaps about his own lineage, and the stress of that knowledge is driving him to drink. There is a major tonal difference between the times where he's shown drinking with his friends and having a party, and the times when he's shown actively drunk, but the parts of the fandom who have chosen him to shit all over for no reason tend to throw out both the context of him having fun with his friends AND the context of him drinking to deal with the stress of his position and just chalk it up to "dumb irresponsible alcoholic who is lazy and drinks constantly expecting to have his messes cleaned up for him" which is like soooooooooooooooooooooo endlessly infuriating lmfao.

This one gets under my skin all the time. Shanks puts on a silly goofy exterior and acts like he's too laid back to be bothered about things on purpose!!!! Either to make his friends and the people around him feel more comfortable, or to stop stupid disputes in bars from escalating to violence all the time. Shanks, in generally, is a really kind and laid back guy. He wants to have fun with his friends without them being uncomfortable around him due to his stature or status, and also doesn't want to have to end up fighting idiots left right and center. The fact that he's laid back most of the time is a SIGN of how seriously he takes his responsibilities, both as captain and as an emperor. Shanks will be like "I'm not gonna pick a fight with these people over a little spilled liquor lol" and people will really be like "look he's so stupid and lazy he won't even fight back" and i'm like. Y'all just drew the same conclusions as an 8 year old. Like surely y'all realize how sad that is right?? He's dedicated his entire adult life to being responsible for the world, it's fate, the new generation, and whatever job Roger left him saddled with, stopped a war, stopped Kaido and Big Mom from going on a rampage, tried his damndest to get Whitebeard to recall Ace before things went south, lost his ARM to make sure Luffy was safe and people will just like close their eyes and plug their ears about it. Sighs.

Shanks is both deeply observant and incredibly emotionally competent, and that's part of why he plays things so close to his chest!!! He purposefully makes his public persona a little flighty and vague because it's better for everyone if he's not honed directly in on everything. His internal monologue and thoughts are always apt, perceptive, thoughtful, and compassionate, but as always those things get swept under the rug bc applying nuance to this man makes it harder for people to write him off as a dumb drunk slut. :/ Also the people who put the blame on him for the miscommunication after Roger's death boggle my mind. Shanks and Buggy were 14 years old, had just watched their father figure be killed by marines after having spent a year watching his health deteriorate and their crew fall apart, and suddenly found themselves totally alone in a hostile world. They were children. Buggy was terrified because it seemed like the last tie he had to a stable life--his best friend--was giving up before his eyes, and Shanks was overwhelmed by loss and fear and the burden of whatever Roger left at his feet to accomplish. Of course they fucked up that interaction. Most adults wouldn't have probably handled that very well. Idk what people wanted out of them exactly but whatever lol.

This one is so crazy because if you look with your eyes for even one second at the Red Hair Pirates it's CLEAR that they all fucking adore him. Everyone is always looking at him with so much fondness, affection, and respect, they tease him about things sure but it's always playful and in good fun!!! Benn has a bit of resting serious man face and a dry sense of humor, but it's really clear when he's just teasing Shanks to get a rise out of him, and how much affection and mutual respect is there. And yet there's a really dedicated part of the fandom that constantly writes like his crew and everyone who has ever cared for him is just faking it ig?? And can hardly tolerate him?? Or think he's a bad captain? Like they could have made it that far if his crew didn't respect him lmfao. IDK how they all mesh how universally adored he is by his crew and subordinate crews in canon with their world view because it is not subtle at ALL.

Okay I think that covers all your points!!! tl;dr is I fully agree, I think people are really determined to dislike and misunderstand him for reasons that boggle my mind, and it's frustrating to see lmfao.

Thank you so much for your message and your kind words, I'm glad I can offer a little bit of a Shanks Sanctuary here!!

[bones4thecats]

Their Aku! S/O Competing in Ragnarok

Characters: Beelzebub, Adamas, and Loki Inspired By: A random video on Youtube A/N: I love Aku. He's literally my favorite character in the whole series. Anyways, enjoy I guess. ⚠️ Spoilers/Trigger Warnings for: Nothing (maybe mentions of fighting... idk) ⚠️ What I based the Reader's design on: Art by pachelbellart on Reddit (Original Post)

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Beelzebub ═════════════════════════════╝

🪰 As a well-known demon lord that once ruled Earth many centuries ago, your power was something that many wanted for themselves

🪰 Beelzebub and you were hailed for your differentiated personalities; you were far more outgoing and outspoken while he was more introverted and quiet

🪰 So, when you were both called upon for Ragnarok, you happily popped out of the shadows and accepted the opportunity to battle a human just so you could embarrass them and remind everyone why you were called the Shogun of Sorrow

🪰 Your husband walked alongside you as you both sat down and watched the many rounds, and while he busied himself with something since he found it boring at first, you smiled and cheered for the Gods as they fought

🪰 As you were called by Zeus for your round, you smiled at your husband and noticed how he put his data-pad down and allowed you to kiss his forehead, and how he wished you luck

🪰 The sound of Heimdall's horn coming through the arena made the many members look up and either shiver with fear or shake with joy as the mention of the fighters

"Introducing the defender of humanity, the Japanese Warrior Prince who once defeated one of the strongest forces of evil the world ever faced, the Samurai, the anti-Shogun of Sorrow, and the one nicknamed by those he defended... Samurai Jack!"

🪰 A human walked into the field and Beelzebub noticed how his kimono flowed in the wind alongside a cherry blossom tree nearby

"And defending the Gods and going against Humanity's rule once again, it is my mass pleasure to welcome the Deliverer of Darkness, the Shogun of Sorrow, the Master of Darkness, and the Dark Lord... Y/N!"

🪰 The sight of a large mass of darkness appearing from above made everyone stare, including Beelzebub. The sloppy-darkness splat down on the ground and began to mold itself into a familiar figure

🪰 Your long flame-like hair and eyebrows were the first thing that everyone took notice of, especially Jack. The way you smiled, holding up a half-oni mask making him grit his teeth lightly

"Samurai fool. I figured I wouldn't see you for quite some time. How fortunate for me that our paths have crossed once again." You laughed.

🪰 Beelzebub smirked as you pulled your mask and put it on before raising your left hand and molding it into claws while your other one revealed a sharp tekko kagi, moving around like the flames you produced naturally

"I shall defeat you once again, Y/N. And protect Humanity the same why I did all those years ago."

"We shall see about that, Jack."

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Adamas ═══════════════════════════════╝

🥀 You guys were one of the most powerful duos when it came to immortal-relationships. From his bloodthirstiness to your manipulative nature, almost all feared you guys

🥀 When he began watching Ragnarok and heard that you were going to be sent in as the newest addition to the Gods' Fighters, since Apollo decided to stand down, saying his beauty was far to important, he was beyond scared

🥀 He already lost two of his brothers, the youngest being the only survivor of the competition, he didn't want to lose his spouse next

🥀 Adamas ran up to you and yelled your name, making you turn around and look at his face, seeing how it contort into a more frustrated expression instead of his usual stoic one

"What were you thinking?! Going into a dangerous event, nonetheless Ragnarok without coming to me first?!"

"I'm sorry, Adamas. But last I knew, you were barely standing up in your new cybernetic body! Besides, I'm not doing this for the bloodshed. I was promised a fight to win no matter what, a fight to revoke the pain that I was dealt all those years ago on Earth."

🥀 He noticed how you bunched your hands into fists as your fanged teeth gritted together in anger, and he knew exactly what you were talking about now

"You're going against the Samurai, aren't you?"

"Correct."

🥀 Instead of getting angrier, Adamas sighed and laid a hand on your shoulder, making you face him with your flaming hair and eyebrows beginning to go down to resemble a calming campfire

🥀 He wished you luck and kissed your nose as you held his hand and kissed his palm in return before melting and moving down the many hallways towards the entrance into the arena for your fight

🥀 Adamas walked back to his stand alongside his brother, Zeus, and nephew, Hermes, and waited as he listened intently to Hermes' predictions for the battle. Thankfully, they were all in your favor

🥀 While Heimdall yelled the introduction of Samurai Jack, he rolled his eyes and began to pat his fingers against the railing in annoyance before yelling for him to hurry up, making the Nordic God jump and quickly say the human's name

🥀 But, when he said your introduction, he just allowed his smile to get larger and more smug as he continued with your many names, and sense of pride of being married to you flowing through his body

"Oh, Samurai Fool. What a funny coincidence to be fighting you today. I was just daydreaming about tearing you apart, maybe now I can make that dream of mine a nightmare for you and the rest of your foolish kind."

"I will not give into your manipulative wording, Y/N."

"We'll see about that, Jackie."

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Loki ═════════════════════════════════╝

🐍 Local psycho couple? Local psycho couple.

🐍 You guys are feared by almost all, the only not fearing you being those of Chief God's ranking or those like Poseidon and Thor. And despite the fact that many others fear you, you always found a way to make them listen to you

🐍 Loki adored your manipulative nature, the way you could make somebody do your bidding easily was something he adored

🐍 But, when you came by and said you were chosen to fight in Ragnarok, he was surprisingly chill with it. He was very confident with your ability to defeat any human that challenged you

🐍 He floated down from his tree and patted the ground next to him, signalling for you to sit down next to him. And instead of turning away like you would for others, you smiled and sat next to him

"Do you know who you're fighting?" He asked, a curios-yet cheery tone coming out of his throat.

"Yep. I'm fighting that Samurai from when I ruled Earth. Y'know, the one with that damn pure blade that could harm me."

"Oh yeah, that thing!"

»–•–«

"Y/N! You're up next to fight!"

🐍 Standing up from your seat, you patted your husband's head as he happily swung side to side while your nails scratched his scalp before you left

🐍 As he sat up to pay more attention, Thor and Odin conversed on how the fight would go, to which Thor praised your skill in mental warfare while Odin just nodded along, his birds voicing their hopes in your win for him

🐍 Loki smiled as Heimdall began his small rant on you, letting your multitude of names coming out of his mouth and into the ears of all there

🐍 The mischievous God began to laugh as you spoke to the Samurai, oh how much he loved you and your spirit~

"Y/N. I shall not allow you to lay harm to another generation of humans."

"Oh, what a brave claim, Samurai." You then yelled in anger, "Fool! Just because you defeated me once while you lived doesn't mean you'll defeat me again after life."

"We shall see."

"Yes, we shall." You laughed.

[bowserbowser29]

The ol' noggin is in a sudden Rough and Tumble kick, and in doing so it made me realize how much of a breath of fresh air they are compared to all the other Sonic villains.

To explain what I mean, let's first take a look at what are some of the most deplorable actions by all the other major villains present in the IDW comics: (also this is kinda long, so bear with me)

Dr. Eggman

Started a plague that turned people in mindless, shuffling zombies and completely coated the planet in metal gunk just because he was petty about being good for a few weeks.

Dr. Starline

On top of helping the previous doctor in his disease spreading efforts, he (presumably) kidnapped two people and forcibly implanted cybernetics while also brainwashing them and irreversibly ruined their lives, just because he wanted to prove a point he was wrong about.

Zavok (and the Deadly Six)

Say what you will about these guys in the games, but they not only made Eggman's Metal Virus plague WORSE and more infectious, but once the Faceship was destroyed Zavok went on a mad rampage to try and finish what he started and turned into a freaking kaiju in the process. That's also not to mention that one time he found a doctor to heal him after the events of Bad Guys and flat out killed him.

Clutch

Held several Chao in a small cage just for the sake of racing them, has been confirmed to have caused damage to the environment, forced a ship to crash land either in a city or on top of the heavily populated Restoration HQ, and has literally shot at children.

Mimic

Has betrayed every single team and/or person he has ever worked with simply to save his own skin. Worst case is obviously the Diamond Cutters where he sent them to their deaths directly. Then after all of that he still wants to go after Whisper and kill her even when it's easier for him to just lay low and forget the whole thing.

Rough and Tumble

Stepped on a roast.

Rough and Tumble are a different breed to every other villain in Sonic. Whereas everyone else is a monstrously evil psychopath or a sadly accurate depiction of some real people in power, they're just dunderheads. And that's what makes them so great!

Of course, those more serious and crafty kind of villains are what make Sonic stories so good. They are genuinely competent threats for the heroes to overcome and drive more than their fair share of conflicts. Plus, the likes of Eggman and Clutch are kinda key in Sonic's messaging of environmentalism and standing up to authority. But if every villain was like that, it'd get dull quickly.

So, it's nice, every once in a while, to see these bumbling idiot skunk brothers make a fool of themselves and just be there mostly for laughs. Even better though is that they're not some pushover, throwaway dorks. They can hold their own in a fight, even taking over a town for a short while after the war.

Still, they're the epidemy of the Wario and Waluigi of Sonic. Just these two jerks who could never come up with a competent plan to save their lives, but you enjoy following them anyway to see what hijinks they get up to. It's great, and really ought to make them stand out amongst Sonic's rogue's gallery for their uniqueness.

Also, just a quick little aside, this is one of my favorite bits in the entirety of IDW:

Tumble's fucking silent lean upwards. You can hear the inhale he does there. It's fucking amazing. I love these skunk dweebs.

Sorry if this was a big long post where I just ramble incoherently about two Sonic characters no one gives a shit about lol. I just wanted to get this off of my chest. I bet I'm not even the first one to say any of this stuff.

[wonbons]

genre: probably angst!

summary: wonbin likes you, but anton is bored so he takes the wrong turn and decides to compete with wonbin for fun.

pairings: wonbin x reader, anton x reader

warnings: reader being played, miscommunication

posted on ao3!

note: villain!anton because why not??? btw might make a part 2 for anton's pov but idk! MY FIRST FIC sorry if i made any grammar mistake or typo. enjoyyyy!

—

Wonbin is such an ideal guy. Well, people have preferences, but at least you think he’s one hell of a deal.

I mean, who could blame you? Magnetism looks, cool demeanor, reserved. That's his usual suit, he's different with you. He’s all warm and soft, maybe if you tell him to jump off a cliff, he would do it without any question.

It’s like he has no flaw at all!

Well, maybe one…

People are so obsessed with him. You realized how the girls went crazy over him. One thing that you fail to realize is he’s actually in a very toxic environment. Wonbin couldn’t tell you about it, he doesn’t want to worry you.

He always dislikes Anton, but nobody will believe him if he says Anton is actually evil.

Anton, with his friendly and soft voice, who would actually believe it if Wonbin told them about Anton being a copycat and never leaving Wonbin alone?

You actually would believe him.

Only if he tells you.

Now, he is very bothered.

Anton is acting friendly towards you, it’s making Wonbin activate his alert mode. This is weird. There must be a plan behind that friendliness.

“Wonbin! You’re here!” You smile brightly when you see your soon-to-be boyfriend.

“Hey, sorry I took so long.”

“It’s okay! You didn’t tell me Anton is your friend!” You chuckled.

Wonbin faked a smile, you could tell… but you chose to brush it away.

At least for now.

“Yes, our parents are best friends.” Wonbin puts his arm around you. “Let’s go.”

“Goodbye, Anton!” You waved at Anton.

“See you guys tomorrow.” Anton smiles warmly toward you.

Wonbin waves at Anton and then walks you to his car. He turns his head one more time to check if Anton is still there.

Well, he is.

With a sly smirk that makes Wonbin want to commit murder.

What is wrong with that guy?

Wonbin is definitely panicking inside.

“Hey, are you alright?” You asked him. “What’s wrong?”

“No, nothing…” His smile reassured you that he’s fine. “Let’s go.”

Well, those were a few months ago.

Now, Wonbin is sitting on the floor. Back leaning against his bed. His eyes are still swollen due to the crying sessions he had today. He kept looking at your picture. He really misses your smile. How he wished he could go back in time and tell you exactly why he hates Anton to his bone.

Wonbin decided to send you a few voice notes. He added a note to open it when you’re all alone.

He throws his phone to the coffee table across from him. Luckily, it doesn’t break. He sips his nth glass of whiskey today. Lord knows he hates to touch alcoholic drinks, but the pain is just too much to bear in sober mode.

Wonbin wished the star so you could come back to him, that this is not too late and Anton screw something up.

—

“Anton, I’m gonna take a shower.” You said while tying your hair into a bun.

“Okay, just call my name if you need anything.”

“Yessir!” You happily walk into the bathroom. A relaxing shower is our favorite thing after an amazing date, right?

You turn on the shower. The warm water is a stress relief for sure! You rethink your day. Today is incredibly great. You spent a full day with Anton at the amusement park. Closing it with a kiss on the Ferris wheel while watching the sunset too… feels like a movie!

You’re so happy! The relationship felt a bit rushed though… or maybe it’s just an effect from Wonbin. Since he left you hanging for so long. It’s alright now! You have Anton.

You palm your forehead when you realize you forgot to bring your favorite soap with you. Well, the happiness makes you kind of forgetful. It happens.

You don’t turn off the shower, because you put your body care pouch near the bathroom door, if you remember well…

You open the door slowly and then close it again. You search your body care pouch and grab your favorite body wash. When you stand up, you realize that Anton is nowhere to be seen.

You heard a voice coming from the balcony. The door is open, Anton must be there. At first, you’re not really curious about what is he doing there.

But, then… you heard him mentioning your name. You thought he was calling for you, so you walk toward the balcony.

However, you immediately pause when you heard his next sentence.

��Well, yes, I only care about her because I want to beat Wonbin. What else?”

You froze.

He’s on his phone with lord knows who.

“I mean, it’s not my fault if she chose me. That’s on her AND Wonbin.” He laughed.

“Well, I am winning. I’m always winning.”

You hold your tears. You couldn’t believe this.

Is it all fake? His affection? His efforts? His smiles?

The kiss? It’s all just… a game?

You go back to the bathroom to finish your shower. After you’re done with your quick shower, you get ready and pack your things. You hurriedly put on your shoes with tears streaming down your face.

“Y/N? You’re done—wait, where are you going?” Anton asked with a warm smile. A smile that you no longer trust anymore.

“Anywhere but here.” You give him a cold shoulder.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? I’m wrong. It is a wrong choice to choose you over Wonbin.” You snapped. “Gosh, why am I so stupid?” You laughed at yourself.

“No, Y/N you must hear the full call. Here, I always record my calls—”

“No, Anton. We’re done.” You rush to the door. “Thank you for the lies.”

“Y/N, no! I can explain, please!” You slammed your door behind you while wiping your tears away. You take a taxi and get into the cab just in time before Anton can chase you.

“Where to, Miss?” The driver asked.

“I don’t know, just drive first.”

“Alright, I have a tissue right there if you need it.” The driver is so understanding. You are so thankful for that.

You open your phone and see some notifications from Wonbin. You deleted his number, but you remember it.

You open the chat and see some voice notes. With a note at the end, ‘listen to this when you’re alone please’.

Well, your intuition tells you to play all the voice notes now.

“Y/N… I’m sorry I didn’t make a fast move… sorry I took too much time…”

“Y/N, there’s one thing that I haven’t told you about Anton. Well… he is a hater of mine… he’s not actually my friend… I really wanted to tell you that he never leaves me alone, he always copies the stuff I did and all… I’m actually so irritated by him, but no one would believe me… I don’t know what he’s telling you. He’s really good at brainwashing, he ruined a few of my friendships too…”

“I have a feeling that he’s only chasing you so he could beat me… he loves to win at this non-existent competition… I really hope his feelings toward you are genuine, Y/N…”

“You know where to come back if he does you wrong, though…”

“I love you, Y/N… I’m sorry.”

You hold your sob now. All that you can feel is regret. Pain. Guilty. You did him wrong. Why are you so stupid? Why would you choose Anton over Wonbin?

“Emerald Tower, please.” You try your best to contain yourself.

“Well, we’re here then.” The driver pulls over to the right.

“Thank you.” You give him 50 bucks and get out of the car when one of the employees opens the door for you.

“Miss, this is too much.”

“That’s for your kindness. Thank you.” You try to form a smile and hurriedly rush to the elevator.

“Miss!” You could hear the driver call you when you entered the lobby.

“What floor, Miss?”

“28.” You smiled and wiped your tears away.

You wait in silence. Waiting for the elevator door to open. When it reaches the 28th floor, you smile at the employee and walk out to the left.

You are now in front of Wonbin’s apartment door. You call him and to your surprise, he immediately answers.

“Hello?”

“I’m outside.” You said softly.

Wonbin immediately hangs up. After a few seconds, you heard a thumping sound walking closer to the door.

Wonbin opened the door and let you in without any hesitation.

You drop your bag and hug him after he closes the door behind him.

You finally let out your sobs in his embrace. “I’m sorry-I’m sorry-I’m sorry, Wonbin. I’m sorry.”

He hugs you tightly and sobs with you.

“Wonbin, I’m so stupid. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not your fault.”

“Wonbin, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” Wonbin breaks the hug to stare at your face. It hurts seeing you crying like this, he cups your face and wipes your tears with his thumb. “I’m sorry I was indecisive.”

“Wonbin, I’m so—” He pulls you in for a kiss before you could say any apologies again.

“Please be mine, I know I’m so late. I’m so dumb for wasting your time. But, please be mine. Give me a chance to fix it.”

“Wonbin…” You collect yourself together. “You’re all that I need.”

Wonbin smiles at you warmly. He gives your forehead a long peck. His favorite form of showing affection to you.

“I love you, Y/N.” Wonbin caress your cheek. “I will always do.”

—

© wonbons, 231022

[luffyvace]

〜☆〜Shigaraki and Touya (separate) x Scholarly reader with glasses 〜☆〜

precisely what the title says~

Might post a lot lately because I’m trying to clear drafts :P

shigaraki with a intelligent reader is wonderful!

you can help him with his plans! 😋

your input is really valuable and whether the lov knows it or not you definitely play a big role in missions

your a mastermind who is very good at outsmarting the heroes

He feels like as long as he has you, no matter what you’ll always be one step ahead

your his Queen/King chess piece

together you’ll watch it all crumble

honestly I’m just assuming your in the lov because even if your not a official member you’ve certainly contributed a lot

to which he very much appreciates

He values your priorities and requests

as he said he always has room for his comrades wishes

you love him for that

never once has one of your plans completely failed

for example if all might destroys a bunch of your nomus even though they were supposed to terrorize the city

You don’t panic at all because it was all apart of your plan >:)

*rubs hands together like evil fly*

it was all a distraction so you could infiltration a hero base and steal some info and such….����

ez dub the heroes are walking L’s with skill issues 😂

WAIT IMAGINE READER DOES THE THING WHERE THEY PUSH UP THEY’RE GLASSES AND IT HAS THE GLOWING ANIME GLASSES EFFECT

HILARIOUS 😂💥💥

it’d be even better if your a tech savvy too

you can break into hero facilities better

plus screw with them if you want n all 💃

you and that emo long bob dude be competing (tomoyasu chikazoku)

you can first fr

READER BETTER>> READER ⬆️🔝

anyway shigaraki thinks reader with glasses is fiiiine 😍

fr like you look good!

he’ll probably ask questions like “did you make your own?”

“Where you born with bad vision or is it stigmatized?”

”when did you get glasses?”

”have your eyes gotten stronger or weaker?”

”do you keep them on 24/7 or do you take them off and take breaks?”

”do you get headaches from them?”

”is it annoying having to push them back up all the time?”

”are you farsighted? Nearsighted? Is it just for reading?”

now he’s not asking to annoy you, and these questions come with time he doesn’t trample you with them

he’s genuinely curious and is a pretty good listener

he’s not just asking just to ask it or anything

if you ever need a new pair he’ll find a way to pull through for you

he’s not always as resourceful as you but he does have some connections!

Uhh with touya? Intelligence won’t matter as much

Not to say he’s not impress though!

he likes to hear all the random facts of knowledge you tell him and he does listen

it’s intriguing, especially when he’s bored

he’d love to learn about astronomy if you know anything about it

he never took the time to learn himself but if you were to mention it he’d recognize some stars because he watches them so often

which makes for good dates!

stargazing!

you go to all types of different angles to look at them together

another thing is Touya never really went to school if so not for long

so you probably end up teaching him and filling him in on a lot of what he doesn’t know

not stuff he doesn’t care about tho

only the important stuff

essentials

which I mean it’s probably not essential anymore the way you two are living outside of society but hey it might come in handy

if someone were to ask touya a question but they’re trying to trick him by using a complex word, If you taught him he won’t fall for it! :)

I mean don’t get me wrong he’s not stupid

but you certainly are a lot smarter 😁

If you brag about it he gets kinda annoyed LOL

like if you beat him in video/board games a lot

which you do, you win like 98% of the time

the 2% he wins is from all luck games

and even so if you learn how those games work it’s over for him 😂😂

Touya doesn’t mind that you wear glasses at all

he does see a difference when you occasionally take them off but he doesn’t think you look wonky so don’t worry

he might be a little curious tho

like he’ll ask how glasses work (especially since your so intelligent)

which might lead into a conversation about why not everyone has 20/20 vision

yeah your conversations never stay on track because all the follow up questions

although you don’t mind because at least you know he’s listening

you end up explaining to him how glasses are made and he asks if you could make your own since you know

which honestly isn’t a bad idea since you could customize it and add whatever you want to it

you definitely thank him for the idea

he feels so accomplished—like he gets to be the smart one for once 😅🤷‍♀️

a sweet thing he does for you if you get eye strains/headaches is like rub your temples/run you a hot bath 💝

it surprises you how caring he can be but of course he’s not completely heartless

another cute thing Touya does is coming to you randomly with questions

”what’s this??”

”what in the world does ___ do?!”

”why does ___ happen?”

”is this normal?”

”what do you do if ____ happens”

”what’s __ x __ again”

”what’s ______ + ______ (big number + big number)?”

oh and you probably have better memory than him so

“Do your remember my past code?”

is common too 😂💗

I started this a while ago but never finished it so I’m glad to finally get this off my chest.

enjoy! Let’s see if the shigaraki and Touya stans will show up🕺

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

A Long Rant About The Koffin Trio

Note: So, this is my first (really) long post about this fangame, and to be honest, I was debating whether or not to even publish it. I still decided to do it since not a lot of folks talk about ts!underswap, and I wanted to give my two cents regarding my three favorite characters.

More important note: If you think it's gonna trigger you to read about Harry/Larry and Harry/Larry/KK as a found family, better click off this post. Maybe it's my inner aroace speaking, but I personally don't see the romantic appeal at all. Good for you if you do! I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's opinion; diversity is great after all :)

For those of you who are still here, I will start off by saying this:

Harry and Larry depend on Count Koffin-K for so much. I'm tempted to say EVERYTHING.

He genuinely feels like their father figure. I mean, this sentient fedora gave them a job while they were both living lives that were... bad.

He isn't cruel when they do something stupid and instead just looks deadpan. Sure, Koffin-K's not a perfect boss; he yells at the two of them and insults them (dude really needs to work on his temper), but I found it sweet how both Harry and Larry felt safe enough to tell him the truth here, which to me counts for something (pun intended) ↓

He even pranks them sometimes ↓

Koffin may not be perfect (he's gotta keep up the "evil" persona) but at least he 1) tries to give Harry and Larry a hint that he cares for them (has them both secretly do his laundry without them telling each other) 2) actually admits that he cares for them both equally (in his own way) 3) attempts to solve their disagreement despite him not gaining anything out of it

How they met is also interesting to me.

Based on their backstory, Harry and Larry were clearly hesitant to work for Koffin, but when they actually started the job the next day, I imagine that their conversation went something like this (either during the first day or at some point early on in their career):

H: "Larry, he could be like the dad we never had and provide for us and we could have all da money that we never did, see?"

L: "Huhuhu, yeah! Don't forgets da food!"

...and that's how the parade float came to be. I think Koffin secretly appreciates they made it, even though he says how he wanted the thing "as far away as possible" right after saying this line ↓

He also makes this face later on at the festival when he sees the float again cause it reminds him that the three of them are a family despite Harry and Larry getting on his nerves half the time but I can't include the screenshot bc of the picture limit

Heck, the two even built their house outside the keep, which to me suggests that they don’t ever plan on leaving Koffin.

Harry does mention his mother, and we learn that he's into embroidery (both making me think he's a a 'mama's boy'; maybe she taught him how to embroider)...

...but even on the ts!us wiki, the only relationship dynamic the two have is with Koffin-K himself.

Weirdly enough, we only know that Harry has a mom, but not a dad

Even though he was definitely unaware of this, Koffin liked Harry and Larry FOR BEING THEMSELVES. This is really important to me.

He saw something in them that others did not, even if it was initally just "your names rhyme and you give me the 'goofy henchmen' vibe." He sees them both as useful for what he needs them for. It may not be much, but it's exactly what Koffin's looking for.

In other words:

THE WAY HARRY AND LARRY ARE IS ENOUGH FOR COUNT KOFFIN-K. I mean, why look at resumes of competent potential employees when you can hire two idiots who are just as goofy as you

Exactly why Harry and Larry are so loyal to Koffin-K is unknown, but based on my interpretation, it has to do with 1) them desperately needing a father figure/someone to rely on 2) Koffin giving Harry and Larry a home, food, money, and a job that also allows them to slack off and finally enjoy life, and 3) him making them feel needed. Maybe not appreciated, even though he subtly tried to, but definitely needed. Serving under him became their purpose.

In other words, I think they're so loyal because Koffin "chose" them, even if he did that subconsciously.

Harry got the chance to be more than just a janitor. Imo, he was hesitant to work for Koffin at first because he was afraid that he would lose the only sense of security he had. I think he lived with his mom at the time, considering his low-wage job This explains why he wants to be rich (to make up for all the things he couldn't afford).

It also explains why Larry loves food so much (he literally slept under a dumpster bag and if he was both homeless AND unemployed, it would mean that he had to either be a beggar or eat from the trash. Either way, eating good food was out of the question.

It's also possible that Larry had a janitor job just like Harry (but unlike him, nowhere to live). I say that he might have been a janitor, since Koffin mentions how they could both do better than mopping floors forever, but maybe it was just an assumption on Koffin's side.

Whatever the case, their lives sucked.

There was also this one moment I wanna talk about, where Larry called Koffin-K stupid, and Harry pretty much agreed. So I asked myself why they reacted this way.

Maybe because it was easier to convince themselves that they didn't care about their boss than deal with the fact that he (maybe) always saw them as nothing but 'lowly servants'.

Seriously, Harry said out loud what they both wanted most of all. And that something was for Koffin-K to value them. This was more important to them than money and food COMBINED, considering their entire arc was about learning that Koffin needed them both equally

Maybe they were worried about getting fired, but I honestly don't think Koffin ever wanted to do that to them, no matter how many times they messed up.

Maybe they didn't want to be honest and admit to Koffin that he's a total dumbass so they wouldn't get in trouble with him. I mean, they did want to gain his validation/appreciation/approval/love, so it makes sense that they would do anything to get and remain in his good books.

I think the third scenario is the most likely one, tbh.

Might be a nitpick, but notice how Harry and Larry are walking next to each other here, but Koffin-K's at the back, just sorta... isolated, like he's not their equal? This is why I'd rather see him as their father figure than an older brother. The way I look at it, the oldest sibling is usually in charge, yeah, but there's still a level of closeness and familiarity between the siblings, whereas Harry and Larry hardly know anything about Koffin-K, ESPECIALLY how lonely he really is. Koffin's the one who gave them a purpose, became their boss, and as a result, they began looking up to him. In contrast, the two spend 24/7 together, bicker, and are practically inseparable, like brothers

Larry also explains how Koffin-K doesn't like leaving his study, but clearly neither Harry nor Larry reflected on why that is and just assumed it's because Koffin's 'stupid.' This reaction kinda rubbed me the wrong way at first, but then I remembered both of these dudes are street rats who don't know any better.

Look, I know the Boogiemen were supposed to fit this common "goofy villain's sidekicks" trope, but both of them clearly grew up in poor conditions, have daddy issues (imo), and feel worthless/useless.

That's why they want Koffin-K's attention so badly.

They need a father figure to reassure them that they're useful, important, and loved.

All this makes them three-dimensional and relatable, just like most UT/DR/UTY characters. It feels like everyone in these games goes through some kind of deep arc, and I feel like this is supposed to be the Boogiemen's

Sure, Harry and Larry are funny at first glance, and they're great at being comic reliefs, but at their core, they are misguided guys who come from poverty/homelessness. I kinda wish the feisty four from uty had more going for them just so I could psychoanalyze them all

Even though it's probably been a few years since they joined Koffin, at least some part of Harry and Larry doesn't seem to believe that they can finally enjoy themselves, even if it means doing hooligan stuff and boring chores. That's why they're 'superficial' and goof off and will grab any opportunity to act childish and materialistic.

A typical case of age regression

What lies beyond the surface is incredibly sad to me.

Now, this is sort of like a bonus section bc I want to explain WHY exactly I see Harry & Larry as brothers, and WHY I think they see Koffin as a dad again, maybe it's bc I'm aroace and I see family relationships everywhere, but the stuff below REALLY REALLY reminds me of these types of dynamics:

They threw insults at each other and had a literal fistfight over which one of them Koffin appreciated/liked more

They cried HARD (of joy) when Koffin told them they're both equally useful and useless, so they no longer had to be at each other's throats. He also said how he recognized that they're passionate about being his lackeys, even if their teamwork needed, well, work

I think it's sweet how they built the float 'within their first days of henchmenry,' according to KK. They could have easily NOT included him, but had apparently warmed up to him pretty soon

Harry wanted to call Koffin to save them + I love how he's CERTAIN he'll do it

Both yelled for Koffin (reminds me of Axis calling out for Chujin for some reason)

Larry called Koffin Keep their home (could have easily said that they left it at the keep...reminds me of the times Starlo called The Wild East Clover's home I really need to stop with the uty parallels)

They cheered for him (and got hit in the face with books)

They get in trouble with him

They apparently copied two of his attacks these 3 are so similar except that Koffin is a more 'head in the clouds' kind of goofy while Harry & Larry are more grounded... but still goofy

And this line... "And quit arguing, you two!" sounded so parental, istg

I forgot to mention some stuff:

After Koffin tells everyone to go to the festival, Harry and Larry quickly look left and right, like they're wondering where he is and/or what to do now that he isn't there. Poor guys really are dependent on him and like to be in his presence

They talked about Koffin a LOT throughout this game. Their conversations are either about 1) Koffin and what they're gonna do to please him, 2) Them bickering, or 3) Some shenanigans they get themselves into. Larry even remembers how Koffin-K always says: "If you're slacking, put some hustle into it"

Koffin doesn't treat any other lackey the way he does Harry and Larry, and none of the other lackeys seek his admiration like the two do

Harry and Larry were both jealous af of Chara for getting all the attention (right after they got into Koffin's study Harry said "Now whaddya need us in here for, see?" and I immediately thought that he wanted to add "you have a new favorite child lacky now so why don't assign more chores TO THEM")

Like I'm not sure if they were meant to come across to us players as a family but for some reason that's how they came across to me since day 1

The actual reason why I see them in this light is not just bc I love found family (even tho I do. a lot), but bc I feel like it would give Harry & Larry more depth than a romance between any of them

[ouatsnark]

okay i’m sure you’ve covered this at some point but this site is an abomination to search in sometimes.

i wanna ask about your thoughts on s7 ending scene of the coronation - personally i hate it because it fucks up every timeline MORE (NEAL IS OLDER THAN ROBIN!), but most importantly, it has regina as the ‘good queen’ and after EVERYTHING she did, i would have fucking rioted if i’d been a citizen in storybrooke.

she said from day one that she didnt want to be a queen, which cora pushed her into cos she was a social climber, so giving regina power over everyone and everything when her younger self never would have wanted that, seems silly. i would have loved to see her happy for SNOW to be crowned the good queen of everything and all because it contradicts what she says in the pilot. THAT wouldve been a change!

regina needed a quasimodo ending, not something she expected but something she needed - learning to be happy for others after she took it away so many times!

that being the ending just proves that being the most evil and worst version of yourself, can result in you being bestowed even more power (exactly like our society tbh) i hate how they pander to her at every turn and i hate the writers for the coronation scene

I understand your tag frustration! Every time I think I’ve figured out a good way to tag this blog I’m like “yeah, that’s probably not helping!”

I don't think I have one single, serious, post dedicated to how beyond livid I am with The Once Upon a Time writers/creators for crowning Regina the “Good Queen” and placing her above all of her victims and those currently ruling their kingdom/realm WITHOUT HER HELP.

The other rulers do not need her. If they’d done this with Killian you’d hear them screaming misogyny over placing him above Elsa, Jasmine and Merida etc etc. But it’s OK because it’s Regina. And I have a hard time believing anyone asked for her to be placed in this position when Regina has done NOTHING for them.

I must say that I absolutely love your take on how Regina’s story should’ve ended and the crowning of Snow White. In my opinion, though, Regina’s younger self eventually did want power. People’s goals in life can change and the moment Regina tasted power her want for power was ignited. She liked it. Regina very much wanted to rule as was evident in her cursing herself for eternity as mayor over everyone. She also murdered, tortured and abused an entire kingdom to steal Snow’s throne. She was also very happy to be mayor again in the S6 finale. So seeing her give up her want for power would’ve been amazing.

Regina learning to be happy for others and petitioning to re-instate Snow as queen would’ve been a huge step toward making me believe “ok, maybe she’s changed. Maybe this is her redemption.”

But, unfortunately, once again, this vile villain that committed so many atrocities was placed above her victims. What makes it even more unforgivable is that she never apologized or showed remorse for what she’d done to them. She still had her vault of hearts for pities sake! For all we know that crowd there was being controlled by Regina!

I have always felt that the ending should’ve been centered on Emma and her family and not on the villain that destroyed their lives and doesn’t regret it. It should’ve been a coronation for Hope and the crowning of Snow White. it would’ve been nice to see Snow actually be Snow White again like they eluded to in S5 but never followed through with. You could say her goals in life also changed as her story progressed but I just felt like it was a regression for her. She was a strong leader that led with compassion just like her father. I’d have so liked to see Snow become who she was always meant to be and not just someone standing in Regina’s shadow.

I also do not like how the Wish People were there. Season 6 wish realm already didn't make sense but Season 7 completely destroyed whatever little sense it did make. Regina having two Henry’s to love her was absolutely absurd especially since the fake Henry forgave Regina for no reason after she murdered his grandparents and took away the only mother he’d known. This isn’t on Emma either as Regina told her that all the people in the wish realm weren’t real. Well, they aren’t fake are they if Regina was about to give up everything for fake Robin and now treats fake Henry like another son…? So where is justice for Wish Snowing?! Oh right where all of the other victim’s rights to justice are: ignored, forgotten and buried or turned into Regina being the victim instead.

I am 100% with you on just absolutely hating the message that Once Upon a Time sent in regards to Regina. It’s just vile. And I fully believe that this wouldn’t have been the case if LP wasn’t a beautiful woman. It is only because she is beautiful and a woman that this is even applauded.

[writingonjorvik]

Can We Discuss Narrative Incompetence?

I want to go off on this thought a little longer, but it would be a hard tangent from the previous post I commented on about male characters in SSO being written to be incompetent (that's the summary of the thought) to go into this, so it's its own post now.

It is so frustrating because there is a purpose for narrative incompetence. It can help regulate tone, and lower the sense of threat, both of which are important for this being a kids' game. It can provide comic relief and relieve tension. But it has to be handled with balance.

The glaring problem with overusing narrative incompetence in a character who is supposed to be taken seriously, which the villains of a story should be, is that it will eventually circle back onto the main characters. Because if the villains are utterly incompetent, then why can't the heroes defeat them already? And if we add on the layer of issues with SSE's current stance on feminism and girl power : if all of the men are too incompetent to do anything, then what does it say about the competence of the women who still haven't stopped them?

It's one of the reasons that I've felt a particular disconnect with the overconfidence of the Soul Riders lately. Despite us seeing the absolute magical havoc the Dark Riders can cause, the Soul Riders are almost boastfully confident in themselves. In one of the recent quests with growing the seed for the Wild Weave, where we'd mostly been following Linda and the MC, they get cornered in a 2v1. And then Lisa shows up and tells Katja to scram, and Katja just does. Just like that. This also gets into the lack of definition in the full scope of the Soul Riders' abilities beyond "primary trope," but for the purpose of this discussion, it makes no sense for Lisa to be as confident as she is. Why couldn't the MC and Linda handle it on their own? It was a 2v1. Even with one of them protecting the seed, it's not an even match.

We are told over and over throughout the story that the druids, and thereby the current Soul Riders, are keeping the Dark Riders at bay. Not on the backfoot, at a neutral standstill. Worse, we see more examples in the story of the druids taking losses than we see examples of the Soul Riders winning. The lose of the Light Ceremony book, the capture of Lisa and Anne by Dark Core specifically, the Baroness feeling threatened enough by DC/Sands to imprison Linda, the death of Concorde, the death of Elizabeth, the kidnapping Justin for so long as to distract from dealing with the Light Ceremony book or rescuing Lisa and Anne, DC being allied with several witches as to have resources and allies that the druids don't, the discovery of Drakeonium, the restoration of three generals and the return of the fourth. To highlight on that too, the druids don't have any allies outside the druids currently. Tentatively they might have Ydris now, and Mrs. Holdsworth. But there is very little evidence in the narrative of how the druids are even holding their own with no outside help (in fact, there's now further division within the druids and the Keepers as these aren't the same thing) or ready supply of resources.

And yet when we interact with the Dark Riders and DC, they are largely incapable of stopping us in the moment. Their goons are inept, Darko is laughably emo and never shown as a serious threat (let alone shown any reason why he could unseat Sands), and Sands, despite his position as the current commander of Garnok's army, concedes his responsibilities to let his grandson escape. The latter would be an amazing point of interest to follow and talk about inner turmoil Sands is perhaps having now and internal shakeups within DC, but instead we have zeroed in on a cartoon villain level of evil that the other four must always be engaging in by monologuing and then being momentarily foiled by the MC. Because the villains can't be threats when we engage with them.

All of this circles back around to the Soul Riders and makes them look worse for not being able to handle these threats. They feel more and more like they are fumbling backwards into handling these issues, and it brings out their worse traits. Alex is incredibly clumsy and brash, Anne is almost mindlessly angry, Lisa's "eh"ness becomes more glaringly apparent, Linda seems excessively cautious. And none of these traits, individually, are bad. The exploration of them all would make sense in the narrative. Alex is afraid of letting everyone down but she struggles to be a forward thinker. Anne is justifiably upset about the death of her best friend and her imprisonment and desperately needs an outlet to direct that anger. Lisa is, as the party healer, always seeking to be the peacemaker and meet everyone at their needs, at the risk of becoming a people-pleaser herself and losing her identity. And Linda is a young person who can see the future, to include very likely the injuries (some of which are likely fatal) of her and her friends, to the point of fearing taking the wrong course of action.

Each of those would be fascinating to explore. But because the threat they're facing is so unable to actually feel like it's any danger, all of the Soul Riders' fears, their weaknesses and shortcomings, go unchallenged by the narrative. Thus highlighting their weaknesses over their strengths. There is no room to grow, because the force they are fighting against has not been serious enough that they've needed to. So they remain stagnant as characters, which is the worst thing for a main character to be.

And this isn't to say that so incompetent yet still able to pull off their goals can't be a seriously scary situation to be in. But that requires an incompetent head of the evil supported by a competent team of generals, of which we haven't gotten. All of the villains fluctuate on their competency on and off screen. And if the goal was to do this with Sands, Darko would have to seem more competent than him and he is not remotely close to being scarier than Sands. There is in fact no reason for Darko's character that couldn't be written in as being Sands. Every one of his scenes could be replaced and he could be written out entirely. That should say something about how useless he is as a character.

Circling back to the point about this being a broader issue with men in SSO not being able to be intelligent unless they're eccentric old men, this is incredibly damaging to little girls too. SSE has the prime opportunity to highlight healthy masculinity, men comfortable in being masc and femme and themselves, to show little girls (just to follow target audience) what healthy masculinity looks like so that they can set proper boundaries with the men in their lives. That doesn't require writing more male characters or not centering the female main characters. All it requires it writing the existing men in the story well. Showing them trying to help people, like the arcs I suggested for Justin training as a Wild Whisperer bonding people with horses, or Raptor taking over as a record label to help young women enter the industry like Lisa. And this is to gloss over entirely what it does to have those examples for little boys and how that is an important part of feminism too.

Because little girls do need to see those examples too. Most of them will grow up interested in men. That is just statistics. If they grow up thinking purely "men are just too inept to know any better" then we continue to prepare femme people to expect less than the bare minimum because "what else would you expect from a man?" And directly through that message, SSE perpetuates sexism and misogyny. And that message gets women killed every day.

[euniexenoblade]

Ok so Apple released it's 100 Greatest Albums list a while ago and I scoffed at it, but after watching some youtubers whine about it in different ways, I realized I hadn't given it the fairest shake. I haven't listened to every album on it and a lot of stuff I have listened to I haven't listened to in a long while. So, I'm gonna listen to every album featured and decide how I feel about them. And for fun y'all get small quick reviews.

Starting off, here's part one of my reviews.

I decided to start with Adele's 21. Not for any special reason other than it seemed like it might be nice to listen to in the shower. Adele has a great, powerful voice, but the album has two song archetypes that just get repeated. The songs are mostly competent so individually they're fine, but together as an album they make a very boring experience. Also, I recognized Rumor Has It from a commercial or something, I fucking hate that song. Docked extra points for having that song. This album doesn't belong on the list at all to me, and even if we are throwing a bone to the modern 2010s-2020s artists, she definitely doesn't deserve number 15. A ridiculous placement.

I decided to take on Drake's Take Care and hey guys, does Drake make any other songs? Why do they all sound the same? Does he do anything other than sad boy shit? Of the three Drake releases I've now listened to, this one is easily the best one. I didn't hate the experience, for that Drake deserves some kudos. But, I don't think there's anyway to view Drake positively in 2024. Maybe in 2011 this seemed special, but in 2024 I can easily say that this does not deserve to be on this list, let alone at 47. Giving Drake a pity placement is fine, but not in the top 50.

I have never understood the love that Hotel California garners. Like, the song is good, but it's not earth shattering, and the rest of the album is pretty typical rock for the era. There is just so little content that I haven't got much to say, it's competent enough to not be laughably bad, but it's also so run of the mill there's no highlights. Picking it for a list like this is what I'd call a safe option, not a real option.

I'll be frank, I'm not very familiar with Robyn or Body Talk, so maybe I don't have context on how important this album was to the history of the genre or music at large. Though, to my ear, the album bounces between having wonderful dance pop tracks to having some really boring, repetitive tracks. Still, not the worst album here (not even the worst in this post), it's just hard for me to really gauge how deserving it is for this list.

Probably an album with an unfair advantage, I've been listening to RATM since I was a kid. My favorite Rage album is definitely The Battle of Las Angeles, but I'm not dumb enough to say that should be on the list. Still think Evil Empire had greater music and potentially greater reach than the self titled, but this being here isn't bad. Just a shame it's only at 97.

Did enjoy this a quite a bit. However, musically speaking it feels incredibly one note. This belongs in the top 100 albums ever? Did it really have that level of cultural inspiration? I'm not mad at it being included, not even mad it's at 96, but for it to be in a better spot than the self titled RATM album? Incredibly stupid.

Probably a dumb thing to say, but this is what I expected Drake's album to be like? Fun music and fun lyrics about being a sad boy, a lover boy, and being too playful with women. Honestly, the only reason it gets such low ratings is consistently Usher says shit like this

GET IT?! IT'S CONFESSION PART II, SO HE SAYS PART TWO OF MY CONFESSION!! SOOOO CLEVER come on man. Does it belong on the best 100 list? I don't know. Let someone else decide that.

I have no issue with either of this being on the list, being in the 90s, or any real thoughts to give. Burial isn't quite my vibe musically so I got nothing to say, and Solange is great so it's like. It's cool they're there, no thoughts.

I don't have an issue with George Michael being on this list, but this album? I vibe Faith far more.

Flower Boy by Tyler the Creator is absolutely one of my favorite albums. I'd have imagined that Apple would have chosen Igor, since it's the one people universally seem to adore, but I'm happy Flower Boy is getting love. Flower Boy is my favorite from Tyler and it has special meaning in my heart, so any praise the album can get.

Look, if you're picking AC/DC albums to put on a list, then this is probably the correct pick, but why would you put AC/DC on the top 100 Albums of all Time list? I don't even think they'd qualify for the Top 100 Hard Rock Albums from before the 2000s list! Is it cuz of the Iron Man soundtrack? It's gotta be right?

This is probably my most unpopular opinion: Lady Gaga is overrated as hell. I do not understand what people in 2009 saw in these songs and I still don't get it now. Maybe it belongs on this Top 100 Albums List cuz it had some kind of cultural impact, I mean her music was inescapable for a time. But, I don't get it, I wouldn't put it on my list, and Bad Romance is absolutely one of the most annoying pop songs the radio has ever played.

And, to conclude this long ass pointless post, I'll just jump ahead again to end this on an album I enjoy.

I don't get the weird revisionism that happens around Kid A. I do love it to death, but when it came out it was critically hated. It just feels like everyone treats this as the greatest triumph in music, when the only people that have heard it are Radiohead fans and the weird hipster that tries to act smarter than you in music. Oh well, it's Captain America's favorite album so I guess it works.

I guess more of the issue is Radiohead is one of like, three or four artists on this list that gets more than one spot. Why waste a spot on Kid A at 33 when you have Ok Computer at 12, let some other unnamed artist be on the list instead.

Neither Kid A or OK Computer are my favorite Radiohead albums, but hey, I like Kid A. It's one of four albums I listen to when trying to fall asleep at night, so it's nice to see mentioned I guess.

[inbarfink]

Okay, after that last lil goof of a post, I started to have some more Thoughts about Tak…

I’m pretty sure I’ve already talked at length about how Zim is, in actuality, perfectly competent on paper. He’s technically got all the skills that Irken Society value, but his extreme personality flaws (especially his ego, his inability to assert threats and his pettiness) override any usefulness he might have and make him the incompetent laughingstock we all know and love. 

And I think, in a way… Tak is actually very much the same. It’s kind of the same core concept but with the skills and abilities being turned way up and the flaws being a lot more subtle. So she generally manages to be a lot more genuinely competent - but these are still the same core flaws that brought on her downfall.

Tak insists that her plan is not a matter of revenge, she’s trying to frame it like Zim’s just kinda in the way of her practical, impersonal scheme to become an Invader - but, like… I think she very clearly just doesn’t want to admit she’s seeking revenge against someone as pathetic as Zim. 

Now there is a discussion to be had about, like, wouldn’t it have been more worthwhile for Tak to grab a more valuable planet from the get-go, versus the consequences of ‘stealing’ a planet from an Actual Real Invader, versus the number of planets that must be out there, versus whether any of those planets are viable for any number of reasons, versus the potential consequences of removing Earth’s vital importance to the Irken Empire as A Thing to Keep Zim Too Distracted to Ruin Everything Again, versus the possibility the Tallests will just let out all of their frustrations about that unto Zim whom they already hate and not the taller and more competent Irken who just gave them snacks…. It can kinda go on forever, is the point. 

So I don’t necessarily wanna focus on the question of whether Tak should’ve chosen Earth for her Snack Plan or not - instead I wanna point out that Earth is just a really really big place. There doesn’t seem to be a reason why Tak had to set up her plan in the same city Zim lives in, or why she had to enroll in his class, or ‘date’ him. The only real reasons seem to be that she wanted to personally torment Zim for a while, and that was worthwhile enough for her to put her plan at risk. 

And it’s not just that she placed the nexus of her plan within walking distance of Zim. I mean, she did probably need to disable his base - and maybe you can say that enrolling in Zim’s school was her attempt at assessing his threat level before her plan kicked into full gear. But even so, the conclusion of this little round of espionage was that Zim was so much of a non-threat that she quite literally went up to his front door to inform him of who she is and what she is planning

If Tak just built her Magma Pump/Evil Weenie Stand on the other side of the world, or even just didn’t tell Zim that she’s an Irken out to steal his gig - Zim would have had no idea what’s going on until it was far too late. but instead of keeping that element of surprise, Tak literally walked over to his base to explain to him everything that she has done and is planning to do. She would’ve explained basically everything if not for Zim’s own hysterics. 

Look at this insistence! She was trying so hard to tell Zim her entire damn plan! And why? Because she was just thoroughly convinced that this clownish buffoon could not possibly be a threat to her. And because this was an essential part of her revenge. Due to Zim’s rush and destructive nature, she was trapped in her room and forced to watch just how callously Zim ignored her cries for help

And she wants to replicate that sort of feelings for Zim

So for her revenge to feel complete for her - she needs Zim to know who she is and why she’s doing it, and he needs to know what’s going on so he can watch on helplessly. And so for the sake of her revenge, she added a bunch of incredibly stupid steps in her plan - but hey, it’s no big deal! Zim clearly is far too incompetent to do anything about her plan by now, right?

And, like, the majority of what Zim had to spend his time on during the episode was actually figuring out what is Tak’s plan is. If Zim was just a little less hysterical when Tak came to visit (which isn’t unthinkable. Zim’s emotional state is pretty capricious) then maybe he could’ve defeated Tak much more quickly and thoroughly. Even disabling Zim’s base didn’t seem to do much considering it was at least partially operational by the time her plan actually came to fruition. She might’ve also underestimated the tech at his disposal or maybe just his repair skills. 

And if Tak somewhat underestimated Zim’s threat level, she sure as hell dismissed Dib's threat level completely. I think the implication is that she only hanging out with him to get more information on Zim and to torment Zim some more

And all of their interactions are dripping with condescension, she’s not even the least bit worried about having this human who discovered her secret. I mean, she already sees Zim as a total non-threat - obviously she’d have even less regard for the person who’s been repeatedly failing to stop him. Especially if there’s also a bit of this Irken Supremacy mindset that’s playing a factor. No way a stupid human child that has repeatedly failed to stop the Worst of the Irken Empire could be a threat to her, right????

And Gaz… oh man, Gaz. I mean, I’ve been going on about how Tak has underestimated Dib and Zim’s threat levels and they’ve proved her wrong by defeating her. But let’s be real here, Gaz is undoubtedly the one person most responsible for defeating Tak

And she barely registered on Tak's radar as anything but ‘Dib’s little sister’. She didn’t even think of her as a factor. And that was her downfall. 

And thinking about this…a lot of fans love to speculate about how Tak’s story arc would’ve continued had the show’s run been not cut so short. And I guess I think it would’ve been very interesting to focus on the parts of Tak’s character which mirror Zim. I mean, she has just been thoroughly humiliated by the Irken she dismissed as a joke and two human children. Her ego is more bruised than ever and now she’s even more focused on revenge

So I think it would’ve been a compelling and darkly ironic arc for Tak to have her gradually… Zimmify. The more she keeps losing to the two Biggest Losers in the Galaxy (and also Gaz), the more she becomes frustrated with Zim, the more she becomes obsessed with getting her revenge and proving her superiority and the more she clings to her ego and to the idea that the main characters can’t, shouldn’t be threats to her…

the more she gradually becomes just as pathetic and irrational as her most loathed enemy, Zim. Until she is a shadow of the hypercompetent badass we met in her introductory episode. Zim basically drags her down to his level through his ability to be so loathsome and so frustrating and so pathetic and yet still find a way to survive and win. Until the dignified and competent would-be Invader we first met is nearly unrecognizable.

You can even play with stuff with Tak’s Ship or some other gizmo she could’ve put her brains into - who would retain her original level-headedness compared to what the Real Tak has become....