#not a great time to not have a primary care physician

[nicollekidman]

turns out extreme hunger that is not affected by eating. at all. is uncomfortable!!!

[pangur-and-grim]

I do wonder if going back on T is going to help my autoimmune stuff. I felt pretty good last year when I was weight-lifting and doing weekly shots, and then I stopped T (due to hair loss) and everything fell to shit again.

speaking of hair loss, it took a lot of going back and forth with my doctor before she would prescribe finasteride. she wanted very badly to prescribe minoxidil (less effective) instead, because finasteride can cause birth defects if you're pregnant. please note that I am not pregnant, and if I find out I am pregnant, it will not take much time before I am not pregnant again. my doctor finally gave in, on the condition that I talk to a pharmacist and have them explain all the risks to me.

anyway, so the pharmacist said you're a great candidate for finasteride, let's do that. and then the pharmacist said please don't take minoxidil, you already have low blood pressure and that med would lower it further.

SO I'M A LITTLE ANNOYED that my health was placed at a lower priority than the health of a hypothetical fetus by my primary care physician. but hey, that's what having a uterus is all about!

[ersharyzst]

the prompt: running into your main lads man (boyfriend) while you're out with your second favorite lads man (as a friend) and how they would react.

This is open for all by the way, I'll be linking the invitation and the fic.

"Is this how it's supposed to look like?" I asked Xavier who was also looking at the coffee table we are assembling.

"It looks like it." He said and I slowly turned my head at him and sighed. "Let's test this table now. Put a water bottle on the it."

He did what I asked and I only blinked for a second before the whole thing went collapsing. We both groaned in annoyance.

"We spent the whole morning doing this. Dang it. I'm hungry." Xavier nodded and grabbed his wallet along with my hand.

"Yeah, we should definitely eat something now. What time is it anyway." Xavier said as he checked the time and he looked at me sheepishly. "It's already past 12."

We were walking to a bakery near our apartment while we are talking about our work at the hunter's association.

"That wanderer was really tricky but my team managed to take it down so woohoo." I laughed a little and Xavier opened the door for me like a gentleman he is.

There wasn't a lot of people inside the bakery. So ordering for our food was really quick. Xavier's arms is wrapped around my shoulders while we choose some croissants, macarons, garlic bread and iced coffee.

The bell on the bakery rang and I smiled at the attendant taking our order. I turned around to find Xavier and I's seat but I was shocked to see Zayne behind me.

"Doctor Zayne." I exclaimed in shock.

"It is nice to see you here, Yesha." I can almost hear the cold edge teetering in his voice. Is he... mad? Zayne cleared his throat before speaking again.

"Why don't you introduce me to your companion?" Zayne asked.

"Ahh, yes of course. I don't think I have introduced him to you yet. Doctor Zayne this Xavier, my coworker and my friend. Xav, this is my primary care physician, Zayne." I saw Zayne's eyes twitch a little before returning back into his stern face.

"Nice to meet you, Xavier. She's talked about you a lot. I'm glad to finally meet you in flesh." They both shaked hands.

"Well, how about we all share a table. Are you dining here, Zayne?" I asked and he nodded once. "Yes, I'm on my lunch break right now."

"Great. Xavier and I will find a seat."

It did not take us long before we found a seat near the window. The sun isn't as blaring as it would be and it feels so nice on the skin.

Zayne came to the table with our orders and he sat on the opposite of mine and Xavier's seat.

The time passed by like a blur and we talked about anything under the sun. Well—Xavier and I, of course—I tried to make Zayne engage with us but his response was precise and he just nods. Our lunch was finished in less than an hour.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Doctor Zayne. I've heard lots about you and I'm glad to finally meet you. I don't want to be rude, but I need to go now." Xavier said and he stood up, grabbing all his stuff.

"What? Why? What happened? Is there an emergency? A wandere?" I asked already preparing myself to fight.

"Okay, darling. Calm down. Jeremiah just needs my help on Philo. I'll be back before midnight." I nodded and I shooed him away. "Oh? Is that so? Then what are you waiting for? Get the heck out of here." Xavier laughed softly as he went out of the café.

Once Zayne and I are the only ones left in the table, I fiddled with my hands before looking at him. "Sooooo, uhm, let's go?"

Zayne nodded once again before pulling my hands gently yet his hold on me is firm. He dragged me to his car parked on the other side of the street and hugged me really tightly.

"Your friend was rather clingy." I felt him stroke my hair. "It's just how he is." I replied softly.

"He called you darling. And you haven't been answering my texts since morning." I gently pulled away and I looked at my phone.

"Oh, Zaynie. I'm so sorry. We were so busy fixing that wretched coffee table I didn't know." I bit my lips guiltily.

"And you introduced me to him as your physician. Not even a childhood friend." I pressed my lips together after he said that. I could feel the accusing undertone he laced his words with.

"Well, I mean... You are technically my primary care physician..." Zayne gave me a glare before sighing. "Okay, I'm sorry. I just didn't want people to able to spread lies about you."

Zayne massaged the bridge of his nose and patted my forehead. "I already missed years without you by my side because of my solitude. I do not want to lose you now, Yesha. Other people are the least of my concern at this moment."

I looked up at him with my teary eyes and I gave him a tight hug. "I'm sorry for denying you, Zayne." Zayne chuckled and he cupped my face before wiping the traitorous tears on my face.

"Maybe I'm just jealous but could you please refrain from being handsy with your friend, Xavier? It makes me want to encapsulate him in an ice block. And that's so rude." I laughed before kissing his cheeks. "Yes, Zaynie"

Author's note: This is my first fic that I posted here and I hoped I did well. I also think this is kind of ooc because it's a self insert but I hope it's still good. I just let my hands do whatever my brain wants and here it is. Thank you for reading this and thank you for the invitation, nikaaaaa.

tagging @jinwoosbabyboo.

[mitfloya]

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬: 𝐙𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞

pairings. Zayne x gn!reader

wc. 7K (yes, I like to torture myself)

synopsis. He was believed to be devoid of emotions, until you unveils his chilling secret. His hidden obsession with you has ensnared you in his icy sanctuary. You were blind to his fixation until it was too late, and now you find yourself trapped in his clutches, unable to escape.

warnings. The following content contains elements of obsessive behavior, yandere thoughts, stalking, possessive behavior, and may include poorly written narratives. Reader is referred to as 'you'. Proceed with caution, as this writing may be unsettling or uncomfortable for some individuals.

a/n. Hello people of the internet! I’m pretty new on this writing community so I hope I bring you guys some good crumbs to munch on! and excuse my horrible grammatical errors, English is not my first language. I may or may not have spend my time throwing up this whole ass detailed (press x to doubt) HC out of my mind, I tend to go overboard with my analysis and writing. Get some snacks and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy making this HC.

p.s. this is a reupload ver. the original of the post is accidently deleted

♡ Please reblog and comment on this post are much, much appreciated ♡

Ah…the ice king himself, known for his emotional detachment and seemingly heartless demeanor. His motives and intentions remain shrouded in mystery, as he builds impenetrable walls around himself. Yet, somehow, you managed to slip through those barriers, like a delicate flower pushing through the cracks in concrete, planting the seed of love without his knowledge.

Does he act upon it? Certainly not at first. He ignores it. Pretend that is was merely a sign you were someone he tolerated.

His acts of kindness are always subtle and unexpected. He treats you in a way that evokes certain reactions.

At first, he might seem out of reach. But you never know that he is always there for you. Always observing and studying your responses.

As you both transition into adulthood, he becomes your primary physician, a role that only intensifies his growing obsession with you. He never considered himself capable of falling in love at first sight, but his feelings for you gradually took root. He is always there with you, from childhood and in adulthood. Fate must have bestowed him with great luck to be your guardian, the one who monitors your health and controls your existence.

The time when you both went on your separate ways before you met again, he feels a void, a sense that something is missing. Maybe you meant more than he thought. The loss of you kills him. But does this heavy feeling affect his daily activities? no.

The thought of not knowing about your health and safety gnaws at him, like a splinter lodged in his mind. Have you eaten yet? Did you eat enough? Did you get enough sleep? Did you stumble upon an accident? Just a single scratch of wound on your skin would infuriate him.

You, on the other hand, dismiss it as the instinctual concern of a physician, and your own health condition made it even more difficult for him to let you go. You were far too precious to be released or, worse, left alone and broken.

Even when you’re away on your mission, he always ask about your being and whereabouts. He just wanted to know how you’re doing and it shows how much he cares for you, not monitoring you! That’s ridiculous, right?

However, whenever you were around him, you never felt like you were in control of your own bodily autonomy. Maybe you’re seeing things but have you realize how much you’re changing your lifestyle?

Zayne intelligence is no joke. You were far too naive to look back over your shoulder to notice he is manipulating you. He wants you to be completely dependent on him. But is it really that bad? After all, he was providing you with a healthier lifestyle, not to mention preserving your beauty. Or so it seemed.

Oh, but when you became his, everything changed. He became more open, more loving and caring, the kind that makes you melt to the ground and swallow you whole. Always attentive to your needs and wants, he has no problem with you buying expensive items, the money isn’t his concern. Your happiness is.

His actions become more evident, sometimes you notice it in the way he always makes sure you’re fully geared up and energized for the day, or the way he tries his best to brighten up your day in rainy days.

And when the time came for you to move in together, almost imperceptibly, it felt natural, that’s when he brings the real authenticity of himself, the carnal desire to claim over you starts to show.

He adorned you with the finest fabrics, adorned you with the most exquisite gems and jewelry that accentuated your beauty without overshadowing it. He always gives you the best and never less.

No one would question how many pictures he has of you around the house, as they simply depicted a man deeply in love with his partner…wait, you don’t remember taking this picture..how did he get this picture? 

Caleb gives it to him. As always he has answers to everything, it makes you think he is expecting that kind of question, which is an odd behavior.

Even the windowsill display those seals and trinkets he has given you over the years, customized to your liking.

You saw it as a preservation of memories and the time he had spent with you, when it’s clearly a growing sign of obsession with the abundance of things of your own possessions, or things that reminded him of you were around the house, to the dark corners of his secret room you were unaware of. 

You don’t realize you were brainwashed, did you? Or maybe because he is telling the truth from the start, he loves you very much and his actions serve as undeniable proof!

Until you try to resist or argue with him. It would be best for you to stay obedient and let him lead, he is the man in the relationship, you are his good girl, right? He never wants to hurt you, he is doing it for the better sake of you.

You learned your lesson when you got your first punishment. Each mistake or letdown adds a droplet, gradually increasing the intensity. When the glass finally overflows, it serves as a stark warning to never hurt or disappoint him.

Your life revolves around him. You want to buy groceries? Wait until he finish work. You want to go to the park? Let’s go together and don’t forget your coat, he doesn’t want you to get cold. You want to have some time alone outside? Sure.

Ah, the innocence of those early stages of dating, when the idea of tracking your partner's whereabouts seemed endearing. Little did you know that innocent app you stumbled upon on a social media platform would become the chains that bind you. In the beginning, it seemed like a cute way to track the distance between you and your partner.

That app, like a digital spider's web, silently weaves its threads around your every move. From the moment you installed it, it became his watchful eye, tracking your every step, monitoring your every move.

How naive and compliant you are, unknowingly making it easier for him to watch over you. 

He doesn’t react much when a guy approaches you, no one will be brave enough, because you will always stay glued to his side. He often uses his sharp tongue to highlight their flaws and insecurities. Give them a judgmental stare at the guy as if he was nothing and brings nothing good in life like a mosquito.

Resorting to violence or criminal acts were never his first choice to get rid of those pesky nuisances, his jealousy always remains hidden and possibly close to nonexistent.

Because he knows, you will always comes running back to him. Even if you manage to slip from his grasp, he holds the power to reclaim you, by any means necessary. In dire circumstances, he does not hesitate to resort to violence, to eliminate anyone who dares to steal you away. He doesn't care if he has to hurt you or isolate you, nobody could ever love you like he did. 

Once you are married and start a family together, your life will be forever intertwined with his. That's the end of you or maybe a better version of you that you never envisioned or hoped for, nevertheless it was all because of your love for Zayne that you willingly let him take control, it’s the best life you could ever live in, right?

You will never leave out of his sight forever.

© 2024 mitfloya — all rights reserved. kindly refrain from altering, translating, or repost my works on any platform without my consent, do not claim my content as yours.

[bitchesgetriches]

and bitches how do I get sterilized (afab) i thought i might want kids in my 30s but i cant really risk it can i i just dont know what to do

Hi sweetness. I suspect a lot of people are in your boat right now. Personally, I got my first IUD implanted in January of 2017. NOTE THE TIMING. I also had a friend get her tubes tied around that time.

The most important thing to remember is that getting sterilized as an AFAB person is over 99% effective and pretty damn permanent. So if you think you just can't risk getting pregnant SOON, but you might want to SOME DAY... then don't get sterilized. Explore another option. Again, I have an IUD and thoroughly recommend it.

It's a fairly simple out-patient procedure, but as with any surgery, it comes with health risks. Sterilization for AMAB people is slightly less risky. Make sure to take all that into account.

So if you truly want to get sterilized, here's what I (a non-doctor) recommend:

The very first step is to make sure you have a primary care physician and health insurance. Your PCP is the one who will refer you for the surgery. Make an appointment and tell them this:

"I would like to be sterilized via a tubal ligation. I've carefully considered this for a long time, and after doing significant research and discussing it with my loved ones, I've determined it's the best decision for my future."

A lot of people get pushback from their doctors when they request sterilization. That's why you want to make it abundantly clear that this is not a sudden whim, but something you've put serious thought into. And married folks will sometimes be asked to clear it with their spouse first (that happened when my husband requested a vasectomy).

They might try to talk you out of it. They may flat out refuse to refer you. If this happens, just calmly say: "Thank you for your time. Since you won't help me with my healthcare needs, I will be seeking a new primary care physician at this time." Then get yourself a new doctor.

Under the ACA (the Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare) the procedure will be completely free with your insurance. That's why it's important to make sure you have health insurance before you request the procedure. The Trump administration is sure to try repealing the ACA again (in his first term, John McCain was literally the deciding vote on overturning the ACA, and he's fucking dead now and congress is full of MAGA sycophants). So you need to work quickly in case your sterilization will no longer be covered.

I strongly recommend you seek more advice from healthcare professionals. @plannedparenthood is also a great resource for everything to do with reproductive healthcare. But this should help you get the ball rolling.

Good luck, my dear. Here's more of our advice:

How to Prepare for a Post-Roe World (Bonus Episode) 

How To Get an Abortion 

How (and Why) to Take Back Reproductive Rights: On Pulling Weeds and Fighting Back 

Did we just help you out? Say thanks with a Patreon donation!

[coochiequeens]

A patient said something she thought was in confidence and he (the doctor) shared it with staff? And now TRAs are harassing a woman fighting breast cancer? That doctor needs to lose his license for violating patient confidentiality

A woman in Oregon receiving treatment for breast cancer has been dropped by her health clinic of 12 years because she expressed views critical of gender ideology.

Marlene Barbera, who is scheduled for a mastectomy later this month, told Reduxx that she had commented on the presence of a transgender pride flag that was hanging in the waiting room of the Richmond Family Medical Clinic in Portland last year.

Barbera explained that she had written a message to her doctor on MyChart, a website where patients can access their personal health information, describing that she found the inclusion of “political messaging in a healthcare setting” as “offensive.”

She, like a growing number of women, has “gender critical” views, rejecting modern ideologies that conflate biological sex and “gender identity.” Barbera mentioned she had faced rape and death threats from trans activists on X (formerly Twitter), many of whom would have identified with that same flag.

Initially, the Doctor, who she revealed had been her primary care provider for over ten years, said that he would not take the flag down. But while Barbera had initially believed their correspondence to be private, she later discovered that the note to her physician had been viewed and shared by other staff at the clinic.

This June, while attempting to leave a message for her doctor regarding blood test results, the issue continued to escalate. A receptionist at the clinic, who Barbera speculated was transgender, did not permit her to be patched through to her doctor.

“The person insisted I make an appointment. I have breast cancer and consequently an abundance of medical appointments so I did not want to do that. They got frustrated with my ‘non-compliance’ and hung up on me,” Barbera told Reduxx.

“Thinking it might have been in error, I called back. I was told I was ‘not allowed’ and that I must speak to the previous person who had hung up on me. I declined as things hadn’t gone well the first time.”

She then questioned whether the refusal from the first receptionist was due to her previous complaint about the trans pride flag in the lobby.

“I asked, guessing ‘did I hurt the trans person’s feelings?’ And the receptionist took offense to the question, asking ‘what did you say‘ slowly and with great emphasis.”

Weeks later, Barbera received an email from Oregon Health Science University’s (OHSU) Stein Berger, informing her that she had been “discharged from receiving medical care at the Richmond Family Medicine Clinic,” effective immediately, with services to be cut off from all OHSU Family Medicine Clinics, including immediate care clinics, from July 29th. The email did in fact specify that she was being removed “because of ongoing disrespectful and hurtful remarks about our LGBTQ community and staff.”

Barbera told Reduxx that the incident had sent her “anxiety through the roof” and that she was struggling with her mental health as a result of the stress.

“I have severe chronic agitated depression since teen years,” Barbera explains. “Now I have no primary care doctor and nowhere else to go. I have been made to feel like a worthless nothing.”

This is not the first time a woman has lost access to critical medical services due to her “gender critical” views.

In October of last year, a woman identified as Emma by the UK’s Daily Mail was banned from having an operation in London’s Princess Grace Hospital because she requested single sex accommodation. The woman, who had been scheduled for a complex colorectal operation, also expressed that she did not want to “use pronouns or engage with such manifestations of gender ideology.”

Despite having experience being the victim of sexual assault, Emma was banned from having her procedure at the facility for requesting single-sex care.

[bomberqueen17]

how it's going

yah well so. my winter of not being at the farm and instead having medical appointments is going about how you'd think, which is to say that i've run out of steam on making the medical appointments but do still have several to take care of.

i did manage to get my primary care physician to accept that i had an ADHD diagnosis (which last year she refused to help me get, but now that i have it, she's like ok cool great here's a referral for therapy). She's now prescribed me meds, and since I already tried the three major stimulant meds plus had prior (bad) experience with the one antidepressant they use, she prescribed me some weird anti-narcolepsy med that sometimes gets used. and i was supposed to start that two days ago but rite aid is still trying to get insurance approval. take a wild guess what kind of insurance i have!!

yeah united health isn't going to approve that one. so my avenues here might already be closed. but at least someone tried?

I have done a bit of sewing and a bit of exercise biking and a lot of snow shoveling (what a year). I got a mammogram and they called me right away and were like omg you gotta come back there was something weird there, and so i went back and they were like omg we gotta squash you SO flat to look at this, and i was like ow ow ow okay okay uncle and they were like yah we gotta ultrasound you this isn't good and i was like. if they have to cut my boobs off can i get robot ones???? (insert every emoji here in succession, the nine or whatever stages of grief is not enough to cover this)

and the ultrasound tech was like SO nice? and so gentle? and by then i'd been lotionless so long (you can't have lotion on your boobs before a mammogram! my dudes it is january i am a crocodile) that the water-based gel kind of stung? but it was okay and she made me wait and went and looked at the results with a doctor and came and took me aside and was like "Great news! It's nothing" and sent me home. which was like. so many ups and downs! what a wild ride! love this ending for me, this is actually the best possible ending ever.

Spent the entire next day in a vet waiting room because Chita had been peeing all over the basement. Verdict: not a UTI. But, she's got to start special kidney food. Have now spent an entire week trying to get the vet to give us the prescription we need in order to buy the stuff, somehow can't get this done, really don't know what the hell is happening.

So anyway now we just have puppy pads down in various corners of the basement, because Chita has Opinions about litterboxes that cannot be solved by simply having an array (five) of immaculate (Cat Attract(TM) litter-containing) boxes, because you see, she needs to pee NEXT TO a litter box according to some strange schedule, AS WELL AS in only SOME of them, and poo in others... Well at least it's all in the basement and she has not done this in any of the rooms where we actually live. But like. Gross dude.

In June Chita will be legally old enough to vote, though cats are not eligible to register alas, so I suppose we can just let her do what she wants since she probably knows best at this point.

Otherwise the only notable thing happening is the writing, at which i am making tremendous progress, so that's good. Therapist has been attempting to get me to form priorities and make to-do lists which is hilarious and I don't know how to convey to her that I am a feral goblin and Goals are not a thing I've ever historically managed to have, and I don't think she understands about novel-writing in particular (she was like oh you're making getting published a goal! and i'm like you don't understand how this industry works, this is a self-pub at best kind of economy and i will not be making money from this). But I am trying very hard to get a draft of this done as soon as I possibly can because I simply won't have time over the spring/summer/fall season, but I *might* have time to edit.

I've got eight chapters in the beta doc by now and having people read it and leave comments is absolutely working to keep me focused on it. <3 I can't convey enough how much that means. It is incredibly helpful. I never did make a discord or any way to discuss that so it's all gotta be in the comments but that is working for me for now. I have most of the plot hammered out and just have to like. Glue it together. So we shall see.

Except I keep letting myself get distracted doing backstory stuff so yesterday I wrote 2,999 words of literally just porn that is not in any way going to go into this novel, and i felt kind of bad about that but then I also wrote 3,914 words of action plot and cyborg dolphins (and mostly it is a guy passed over for a promotion trying to work around the incompetent they made into his manager, so like, relatable content but also with dolphins who can talk, so like, what's not to love) so I felt less bad about that.

I will include a snippet because I can.

A moment later, Mahina’s synthetic voice said “We did not find your convoy but other pod says ships that way.”  Tom nodded. “Yeah, I thought it might be too far,” he said.  “You know our range?” Mahina asked. Her vocabulary was very practical, but then, this was a major shipping lane. From the slightly greater height of the launch, he could see her better; she was large, an older female. The augmented dolphins lived longer, but she wouldn’t be old enough to remember before the treaties, he thought.  “I think so,” Tom said. “Mahina not so good at human number reckoning,” she said. “But if Ted know a pod’s range Mahina no need to try.” “Ted?” Tom said, startled into a laugh. “Is human name,” Mahina said. “It is,” Tom agreed. “Yes, I can be Ted.” “Ted,” Mahina said, with a decided affirmative whistle. The only way to add words to the brainwave-readers was for a fairly skilled human technician to do so, and one of them must at some point have been named Ted.

[ineed-moresleep]

Viktor Hospital Headcanons

One of the main reasons he and his parents made the decision to try and “sneak” him into the academy and Piltover in general is because of the medical advancements that Piltover had made that they didn’t really share with the undercity.

Viktor does not have a PCP (primary care provider) he just shows to their version of an ER when he has an issue, gets temporary treatment, and leaves. Because of this the ER physician has a general idea of what’s going on with him, but the ER isn’t really the place to plan out long-term health goals. 

Has left AMA for various reasons multiple times. (Health insurance doesn’t exist in Piltover. Because I imagine they got at least one thing right.)

He’s never rude to his care team, but he’s tired of this routine and he’ll ask for them to just skip needless pleasantries. 

He tries really hard not to regularly ask for any kind of pain medication and be labeled as an addict or drug seeker. He’ll be in 8/10 pain and simply sit there and disassociate because he’s got thirty minutes left until his next dose is due, and if he asks for it early he’ll only look bad.  

If anyone visits him they are appalled that he does this. He doesn’t stop. 

Jayce is the kind of person that just finds where the blankets and sheets are kept, and will just get it all himself instead of asking someone.

Viktor has only been hospitalized a few times, and they were all for planned surgeries. Everything else has been an ER visit. Never exceeding 36 hours.

He doesn’t like people visiting him because it’s either not a big deal to him. Or he looks and feels like shit. 

He feels like Jayce worries/pities him. Caitlyn only shows up when Jayce is busy and he doesn’t know her that well. Mel has visited him once and it was clear she was there more out of obligation than worry (Not that he minded. She gave him a great Get Well Soon basket). Heimerdinger has visited multiple times and just talks about the marvels of medicine (He’s the one Viktor wishes would never visit.)

Sky is the only person he actually finds himself looking forward to seeing. She talks about work for most of her visit, and doesn’t comment on him being in a hospital at all.

Have I mentioned Viktor and Sky are best friends and I will spread this gospel. 

@catsoutofthebags You said to tag you when I had a fic about it . . . But hope this is good enough for now while I sort out my plot bunnies lol.

[mychlapci]

(Hope you don't mind me hoping on this one, not the same anon)

The thing is, what if Optimus DID want to replenish the Autobot ranks himself as broodmother. But let's say that once he became Prime, he found he was barren. He tried, over and over again, to get pregnant but couldn't. He was devastated to learn that he couldn't have bitlets of his own, so he was living vicariously through Ratchet. Why didn't they go after him? Optimus knew the Decepticons would take better care of him, and feeling guilty he couldn't care for his broodmother himself.

This eventually comes out in a tear filled confession while begging Ratchet for forgiveness, for not taking care of him, for not coming after him, for not being able to do his duty. Ratchet, being a broodmother himself and is now actually able to enjoy it, couldn't possibly imagine how it would feel to not be able to have sparklings. Of course he new about Optimus being barren, he was his primary physician after all, but he didn’t realize how much it affected him. He figured Optimus just preferred spiking, but the moment Ratchet tries playing with his valve, Optimus practically melts, having a much more intense reaction than when his spike was being milked. Ratchet had noticed how Optimus still seemed unsatisfied even after getting milked, he had figured it was just him being a Prime and literally built different, but now he knows better. Optimus wants more. He wants his own bitlets, but cries knowing he can't carry them himself.

Ratchet explains this to Megatron and Megatron goes to see for himself. Ratchet pulls up Optimus' medical files, Megatron gets his medics to conduct their own evaluation, and he goes to visit Optimus himself. Optimus fights and is feisty the whole time, at least until Megatron gets his spike in him. Then it takes very little to get the Prime begging for more. Though he does notice that Optimus never once asks to be sparked, but seems reluctant to let Megatron overload anywhere except in his valve. Megatron asks if he wants to be sparked, wants to be a broodmother like himself and Ratchet, and is met with a sorrowful "yes". Not out of shame but of longing, knowing something is just out of reach but can't hope to obtain it.

Good news, it's fixable! It seems that the Matrix wasn't the issue and was something else, in fact the Matrix should make Optimus twice as fertile as he would be otherwise. Bad news, it'll take extensive surgery and recovery time meaning they'll be out of their best stud. But the trade off would be obtaining yet another fertile broodmother to help repopulate Cybertron.

Optimus agrees to the surgery and the implications, and the relief is so great he could cry. In fact, he does once he gets the news. Once he has fully recovered, Megatron and Ratchet drag him to their nest, the very room he found them in months ago, and get him ready for his imminent breeding.

Ratchet is at Optimus' side the whole time, cooing in his audials how well he's doing and how good it will feel to finally be able to push out the little ones once it finally comes time. Meanwhile, Megatron is bullying his valve and wrecking the Prime, whispering dirty fantasies about how he'll never have to worry about not having sparklings again since he'll always be pregnant, about how they'll keep him bed ridden and have studs rotating around to keep the Prime full and sated, even about joining Ratchet and Megatron in nightly threesomes. Optimus is lost from the moment he overloads around Megatron's spike and drinks up the attention.

However, once he actually is pregnant he can't shake the guilt of how he treated Ratchet and feels he doesn't deserve to be treated so highly as a broodmother. Not to worry though! Ratchet and Megatron are slowly fucking the insecurities out of him, making him a happy, dumb, little broodmother.

Soon there are three pregnant mommies lined up in a row on an massive berth, holes stretched wide and drenched in cum and their own fluids, in their own hazy little worlds being bred and kept sated and pregnant at all times. Even the Matrix is happy! Not a care in the world since everything is already taken care of. Not a single thought except for when the next breeding session is <3

Yessss drag Optimus in... Everyone knows a good leader produces more soldiers for their cause. Megatron could do it, but Optimus... could not. Leaving that duty to rest solely on Ratchet’s shoulders made Optimus as guilty as it made him horny. Seeing Ratchet waddling around, overworked and tired and heavily pregnant sent a pang of pain through his spark, yet he couldn’t help but keep him full. He knew they needed soldiers, and that he couldn’t make any, but Ratchet was here and he looked so wonderful when carrying.... Optimus would spend his nights awake, thinking about how he would give anything to have a belly like that... mhmm

They’re very lucky that Optimus’ problems can be fixed now that he has enough time on his hands to go out of commission for a while... I am so obsessed with the fantasy of Optimus clinging to Ratchet while Megatron breeds him. He’s so overcome with emotion that he turns into a mess, his moans nothing but wet static and valve squirting with every fat load of transfluid shot into his freshly recovered gestation tank... Ratchet tells him all about how well the decepticons treat their broodmammas. How he won’t have to worry about a thing because the studs on site will keep him full and satisfied and he and Megatron will stay with him.

mhmmm I’m thinking about all three of them going into labour at the same time, but it’s Optimus’ first time giving birth... He’s so worried, but seeing those experienced valves push out babies like it’s nothing really helps to ease his nerves.

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

I turn 18 next year and I’m not sure where I can get testosterone, I’ve looked at planned parenthood’s website but the only one in my state doesn’t offer hrt services 😭 do you have any advice on how to access hrt?

Lee says:

Happy (Very very) early birthday! If you're still a year away from being 18 you have plenty of time to figure this out.

You should start by talking to your primary care physician and ask if they are knowledgeable about gender-affirming care and are willing to prescribe you HRT themselves. If they are not experienced with HRT for gender-affirming reasons, ask them to look into it and refer you to a healthcare provider who is.

While you're waiting for your appointment (often it can be at least a month away even if you schedule the first available date) use that time wisely and go out into the world (And internet) and talk to people! There must be at least ONE other trans person in your state who is on hormones, right? You just have to find ONE other trans person in your state who is on hormones (and trust me-- there's more than just one trans person on hormones in your state! But all you need is one person), then find out where they're getting their prescription from!

Online platforms can be a great resource for shared experiences and advice so I'd just start by googling "transgender [insert hormone name] in [insert state]" until you find the right key terms. You might also be able to find something on Reddit or through Facebook groups.

Additionally, going to trans support groups and meeting people there and asking your trans friends to ask their friends, etc can all be a good way to find a provider through word-of-mouth.

Another thing you can try is contacting LGBTQ+ centers or organizations in your state and seeing if they have any recommendations. Even if Planned Parenthood's local branch doesn't offer HRT services, they may have a lists of trans-friendly healthcare providers or clinics that do, so it could still be worth reaching out to them.

If you're planning on attending college or university, check if the campus health center provides HRT or can refer you to local resources that do. Some college health centers offer comprehensive services for transgender students, but unfortunately most do not.

Many healthcare providers now offer telehealth services for transgender patients looking to start or continue HRT. These services can be particularly helpful if you live in an area with limited access to transgender healthcare. Providers like Folx Health, Plume, and QueerDoc offer gender-affirming care to patients in many states, all through telehealth platforms.

There's more info on starting hormones in this post, and you should take a look at that too.

Finally, I'm guessing that you don't have much experience with adulting which is fine because everyone starts somewhere! I was in the same position as you once. I also started to look into starting T when I was 17 and got everything ready (appointments scheduled for after my birthday, letter of support since it wasn't fully informed consent, lab work done the month before I was 18, etc), but didn't actually start hormones until I was 18.

Everyone has a different path through life, but this may be your first time scheduling doctor's appointments for yourself, signing up for a patient portal, getting your own health insurance (unless your parents support you being on HRT and wouldn't boot your off of their coverage), paying for appointment and prescription and lab work copays, etc.

Since you have a year until you're actually 18, it would be a good idea to start getting prepped for your first dive into the healthcare system as a legal-adult-even-if-it-doesn't-always-feel-that-way and google the basics of having and using health insurance. There's a lot of words you're going to need to learn one day (what's a deductible vs an out of pocket maximum vs an allowed amount etc) and this is as good of a time as any to start learning some of those basics (The advanced level is learning how to appeal denied claims, etc).

You got this anon! You're clearly on the right track by starting to investigate the process of starting HRT in advance, and remember that starting HRT as an adult also comes with adult responsibilities like figuring out how to pay for it! When you're thinking through the logistics of finding an in-network prescriber, don't forget to budget for those things too.

Followers, any tips for anon?

[uncanny-tranny]

How does one go about getting a t prescription?

How long does it take + how expensive is it?

Where would you even start, what type of doctor do you have to contact, does planned parenthood give people T prescriptions?

Sorry for the ask, I just can't access this information anywhere else

I need to start this post by saying: I - the person answering - am a USAmerican. I have no experience with getting testosterone in other countries, but I have researched other healthcare systems that are in place for trans healthcare. In my country, testosterone is a schedule III controlled substance, and you need a prescription from a doctor to legally possess it (I could rant for hours about how much I hate this, but this is the reality of how the US operates, apparently). I'll be sharing my experience since I know it best with the hopes that it helps - I am not legal or medical advice.

In many places, you will typically be referred to an endocrinologist, someone who specializes in hormones. It isn't unheard of for your primary care physician to order scripts for testosterone, but if they do, it's because they would be licensed to. Not all PCs can even prescribe testosterone in the US because it's a controlled substance.

I personally went through an online clinic in order to get my testosterone - which was needed for me because at the time, I'd had very few positive experiences with healthcare.

In terms of price, that depends on if your insurance will even cover the cost. I pay out-of-pocket, and for those paying that way, that can run (typically) between $150-$300. This also depends on what type of testosterone you plan on administering. I've found that IM injectable testosterone is cheaper than cream or gel testosterone - each method has their own pros and cons, and the prices vary drastically at times.

Planned Parenthood can be a great path for those who have the Planned Parenthood facilities that offer trans healthcare. Not all Planned Parenthood facilities will offer trans healthcare. And, indeed, I was planning on using Planned Parenthood, but the closest one that offered trans healthcare was over an hour away and later seemingly ceased offering that care, which would mean I might have had to drive three hours to the next one. That's a huge contributing factor as to why I chose a virtual clinic.

If you are comfortable with your primary care physician, you might be best helped by asking them. I'm sharing my experience, but this is by no means a comprehensive look into how you would access testosterone. Your needs, the care available, and where you live all impact how you'll get care, and the last thing I want to do is tell you to do something you can't.

[kazuchuu]

Shattered Glass Knock Out Headcanons

These are my personal interpretations of how Knock Out would be in the alternative Transformers universe. I’ve seen a lot of interpretations of him and I’ve also thought about it a lot, so here is an extremely self-indulgent list of purely Transformers brainrot. I just had to put this somewhere before he took over my brain.

APPEARANCE

A blue-green paint coat (the color of hospital scrubs) as the primary color. White markings, or maybe silver for a little contrast.

Bright blue optics.

The elf ears stay.

PERSONALITY

A lot of headcanons portray him as callous when it comes to his appearance, which is great! But allow me to offer: SG!Knock Out who still cares about how he looks, but for completely different reasons.

He doesn't mind being covered in scratches, marks, dents, or the like. He only hates it because it's unhygienic and thus unsuitable for a doctor's office/surgical ward.

He also thinks having a clean appearance gives off a more professional and comforting impression to his patients.

Sometimes, on bad days, it can get a bit...obsessive.

"Um, doc, didn't you already clean-" / "I HAVE TO MAKE SURE BREAKDOWN I HAVE TO MAKE SURE!!!!"

Sometimes it's funny.

"My liege, you know how I respect you, but I swear if you set a pede into this ward without disinfecting your servos at least-"

RELATIONSHIPS

Breakdown: His partner and most trusted confidante in every universe<3 Knock Out tends to worry too much about his health, and insists on a check-up after every battle. Breakdown indulges him, but also makes sure to soothe his worries.

Starscream: My idea of SG!Starscream is that he always downplays how bad his injuries actually are, leading to Knock Out running after him (or, better yet, sending Breakdown to drag him to the medical ward). I like to think they exchange the same playful quips, but with a more somber undertone, because anytime Starscream actually allows himself to stay put in the medical ward means he's been severely injured.

Megatron: Knock Out takes his duty as the leader's official physician way too seriously. He has everything organized: Megatron's daily routine, optimal energon intake, regular check-up appointments. Megatron doesn't really need all that, but he humors him because he knows this is Knock Out's way of dealing with the guilt when he can't save a patient.

OTHER DETAILS

Speaking of guilt - Knock Out is really bad at not blaming himself. When vehicons are offlined and he's forced to disassemble them, he will later still remember where each piece came from, even if it's been attached to another bot.

I like to think this version of KO still likes the art of disassembly, but less out of a delighted, morbid curiosity and more out of a desire to learn more about Cybertronian anatomy.

He still street races with humans, but again, for entirely different reasons: he's fascinated by them, and has since picked up an e-book on human anatomy. And when he street races them, he always plays fair, and takes quite a great offense if another participant doesn't follow the rules. Allow me to demonstrate.

Racer: [keys Knock Out's side door]

KO, swerving to face him: Excuse me, are you out of your mind? Why would you ever ruin the joy of a good race with this childish behavior? And I have patients, you know! What would they think of their own doctor if they saw him in such unseemly fashion?

Racer: Wh-

KO, full on ranting: And I barely squeezed this race in between my busy schedule! Now I have to go back to base, disinfect the scratch, get buffed, all in time to prepare my office for the next line of patients! Do you have any idea how demanding it is to be a doctor on a warship? Always on call! I had this one hour to myself-

[It is at this point that Breakdown shows up to calm his favorite doctor. They end up just racing together<3 ]

And that's basically all I can think of, for now. My version of SG!KO because I know I'll never write this. Feel free to add more in the tags or whatever you like :)

[fairy25]

"The human race has been definitively shaped by the evolution/revolution of the female body into a capacity for nonreproductive sex. This is not just a physical fact. It is a cultural, religious, and political fact of primary significance.

Many feminists today are unsure whether studies of evolutionary biology, or of religious mythology, can have political relevance for contemporary women. We believe that nothing could be more politically relevant than knowing why we got where we are now, by seeing how we got here, and where we began.

In the beginning, the first environment for all new life was female: the physical/emotional/spiritual body of the mother, and the communal body of women--young girls, grown women, older women--working together. When hunting-and-gathering people move, the infant is carried bound close to the mother's body; when they settle, the women form an "inner circle" campsite of women and children. The socialization process begins here.

Human culture is marked by a strengthening and prolongation of the relation between mothers and offspring. For its first year the human child is virtually an "embryo" outside the womb, extremely vulnerable and totally dependent. Female group behavior--the cooperative care-sharing among mothers and children, older and younger women, in the tasks of daily life--emerges from the fact of this prolonged dependence of the human child on the human female for its survival. Males help--but they also leave; the male body comes and goes, but the female presence is constant. Females train, discipline, and protect the young; beyond infant care, the maintenance and leadership of the entire kin-group is the task of women. The female animal is always on the alert, for on her rests the responsibility not only of feeding the young, but of keeping the young from being food for others. She is the giver and also the sustainer of beginning life. Among humans, males help with protection and food acquisition; but it is the communal group of females that surrounds the child, in its first four to six years of life, with a strong physical, emotional, traditional, and linguistic presence. And this is the foundation of social life and human culture.

The popular image of early human society as being dominated--indeed created--by sexist male hunters and ferocious territorial head-bangers just doesn't hold water. If the first humans had depended solely on despotic and aggressive male leaders, or on several males in chronic, ritualistic contention for power--human society would never have developed. Human culture could never have been invented. The human presence on earth would never have evolved.

The fact is that it was from this first inner circle of women--the campsite, the fire-site, the cave, the first hearth, the first circle of birth--that human society evolved. As hominids evolved into Paleolithic Homo sapiens, and then into settled and complex Neolithic village people on the time-edge of "civilization," these tens of thousands of years of human culture were shaped and sustained by communities of creative, sexually and psychically active women--women who were inventors, producers, scientists, physicians, lawgivers, visionary shamans, artists. Women who were also the Mothers--receivers and transmitters of terrestrial and cosmic energy.

We have to understand how and why these ancient millennia of womancultures have been buried--ignored, denied, passed off as "mythology" or "primitive prehistoric origins"--by Western male historians who insist (and often really believe) that "real history" began only about five thousand years ago--with the relatively recent institutions of patriarchy."

Excerpt from Sjöö, M., & Mor, B. (1987). The Great Cosmic Mother: Rediscovering the Religion of the Earth (7th ed.).

[wizardsaur]

Zebra Problems 🦓

I just need a safe space to vent for a bit.

Trigger warnings for chronic pain, anxiety, depression, joint pain issues

Hi yall,

You may or may not know I suspect myself as having hEDS & POTS. As does most of my care team, but I'm on an obscenely long wait list to get diagnosed by a local specialist - since the doctor I was going to try to treat as a primary care physician pretty much shuffled me away saying there's nothing else he could do to help aside from the referral.

I'm having one of those nights, where everything hurts. I'm exhausted. And I'm getting lost in my mourning.

I can't hike anymore, not that I was ever very fast or very good at it. There were only a handful of trails I liked, anyway. But even still, I might not be able to see that waterfall again.

I can't snowboard anymore, though there isn't enough snow this year to sustain it anyway - and even when I could, I still spent days afterward unable to move without wanting to die.

I went to a paved path around a duck pond with my best friend just a few days ago... and the patches of uneven snow-turned-ice along the walkway were so difficult to navigate - I could only walk the loop once before I had to sit. A path I used to walk around for literal hours, all my life, up until this summer.

The local Christmas light park was too crowded for me to function, and where I once could spend the whole night out there looking at the displays - I couldn't finish the block.

I'm very angry. I'm very sad. I hurt so much, most days... it's hard to look at the future and hope it gets better, knowing what I know now.

In June I was walking 6000 steps per day, working retail, doing great. Then the road trip set something off in my bones... by August, I ordered a shower chair and applied for a desk job.

Suddenly, all the bruises I would count in the bathtub made sense. The dislocated arm from my mom roughhousing with me. The hand pain from scooping ice cream. The weird curves of my fingers. The cracking of my hips and my knees. The inability to hold work in production or factory settings. My heart racing when I tried to run, and failed. The days I couldn't get warm, and all the times I passed out that I can't count anymore.

Now...

I'm proud if I'm able to use my cane to walk 5000 steps around the wide, tiled, indoor walking track that circles my office building.

[scullysstrapblog]

Warning, talks of blood, hallucinations, medical treatments, vomit, needles, and hospitals!

Read at your own risk!

Well friends, today was an awful day. I woke up at about 2 am, unable to breathe. I managed to last until 7 am before begging my dad to call 911.

So turns out, I have a chest cold, which caused my asthma to flare up. And because I already couldn't breathe, my asthma just made it nearly impossible to do anything but get short sputtering breaths. Add my anxiety on top of that, and I get visual and auditory hallucinations.

So we're in the ambulance and what happens? My heart rate spikes, My oxygen level tanks, and I essentially end up with a very kind emt breathing for me, yay! According to him, that's the weirdest way of dying he's ever seen.

We get to the hospital, (and important note, I live in a semi rural area, so it took us a bit to get to the hospital.) and I get signed in by my dad, they take me in to ask the triage questions, and for some reason, I felt like if I kept talking about things that didn't pertain to my situation, the creepy witch doctors, that were telling me that I was gonna die, would stay away. (Hallucinations, gotta love 'em.)

So then we get to the portion where they take my blood, (another important note, I was puking blood and mucus.) so the take as much blood as they can without killing me, I think they ran 20 different tests, and did blood cultures. I even got a covid test. (negative, woo hoo!) Because of the hallucinations and my anxiety, I was 90% sure hospitals employ vampires to taste your blood and tell the doctor what's wrong with you. The young person taking my blood thought that was hilarious and spent ten minutes assuring me that they didn't.

Finally they take me to my room, now my right elbow and hand have been poked and prodded, but they start an IV and I get my left elbow poked, from the marks I can see, three times. I HATE seeing my own blood so the feeling of the needle was not great.

So I end up getting meds to chill out, since at some point the witch doctors came back, along with, oxygen, prednisone, and three albuterol treatments. At some point, I passed tf out, I had not gotten restful sleep in 48 hours, I just zonked the second I could breathe.

They did a chest x-ray and made me swallow a camera, and they found that I have pus in my lungs. (woooooo, so great.) So I got a nice dose of meds to wash as much of it out as possible, but w as told I will be coughing it up over the next week.

At 1 pm I get discharged and leave with some nice prescriptions and a note to see a primary care physician in a week. Now, I was still shaky, all night last night I had used my rescue inhaler WAY too many times, plus the steroids always make me shake. I get some nice grippy socks since I left my house in just pajamas, no socks, no shoes, and my dad and I Uber back home.

At home I call my Walmart's pharmacy and both prescriptions came out to $19.31, which was incredible. I waited until they'd be back from lunch and went to the store, there I talked to my bosses and informed them of what happened. One of my bosses is my cousin, so she was extra worried.

But then, I saw her. (If you're keeping up with my other posts, then you know who.) And I told her what happened, and she said, "No! I'm supposed to die first!" Which made me laugh, which made me wheeze and cough, which made me nearly faint.

All this to say, I'm back home now, I spent the day sleeping and cuddling with my pupper, and taking breathing treatments. Now I'm gonna shower and make tacos since I just realized I haven't eaten since Thursday.

On top of all of that, I will have a compromised immune system for about a month. I'll be on light duty, hopefully, for about a week. So work shouldn't be too hard. If I'm lucky, they may even just let me stay up at the service desk all week. But, I am gonna have to take my nebulizer and meds with me to work, since if I don't take them exactly every seven hours, I could end up with serious complications.

The prednisone alone is bad enough with all of the negative side effects it has. Usually you get a two or three day dose. I've got a five day, three pills a day, dose. It's not my first time taking prednisone, but I will say, it's my least favorite medication I've ever taken.

Oh! And I just remembered that at some point, someone tested my blood sugar and I didn't cry! Well, I was already crying, but I didn't cry at the sudden shock of the lancet! (I accidentally poked myself with a lancet when I was little, so now it's just a knee jerk reaction for me to cry when I have my blood sugar tested.)

^ my asthma and anxiety rn knowing I'm thousands of dollars in debt JUST for the ambulance ride alone. I'm not even gonna think about what the meds, endoscope, and x-rays cost. Much less a room, the blood tests, and everything else.

[ivyshrinks]

semaglutide update: week 14

my last update wasn't a very informative one, so I'm going to try to talk a bit more about what's been going on lately in this post! I'll make some bolded headers for different topics I discuss in case there's anything in particular you do or don't care about.

weight update

I haven't had the best few weeks. I've been eating kind of like an asshole - ordering doordash a lot, started (and stopped) drinking alcohol again, etc. however, I've been back on track for a bit now, and I'm down to a new low weight of 347.7 lbs (down from my april hw of 390 lbs and my july 9th sw of 380 lbs). this means I'm a little over 30 lbs down in three months! losing at a rate of 10 lbs/month is great, and I'm really happy with the progress I've been making.

medication update

I'm still taking 20 units of compounded semaglutide a week, which I think (based on the concentration of my meds) is equivalent to the 1.0 mg dose of the actual stuff. I plan on staying on 20 units for a while, maybe throughout my next vial of medication (which should last about 10 weeks at 20 units/week), then I might discuss with my doctor going up a bit if I feel like I need it. I think the therapeutic dose of wegovy for weight loss is 1.7 mg or 2.4 mg, so I'm still technically below the therapeutic dose, but it's been working fine and I don't want to jump up in dose too soon if it's not necessary.

struggling with knowing when to stop eating on semaglutide (tw: vomiting)

something I've been struggling with is getting used to my new stomach and fullness cues. I never really had fullness cues until starting semaglutide, so I have a hard time knowing exactly when to stop eating. this means I often eat slightly too much, and then immediately have to go vomit - not self-induced, but just too much in my stomach that my body rejects it. I've been vomiting a few times a week from eating a little too much during my regular meals, which is something that really bothers me. so now I'm trying to be more mindful of portion sizes, how much I put on my plate, and unlearning being part of the "clean plate club." I always feel the need to finish everything I put on my plate, but I need to realize that it's okay if I save some leftovers for later or even throw away the rest of my food when I'm full.

sobriety struggles

as for the alcohol that I mentioned earlier, I bought a big bottle of vodka a week or two ago and thought "I can just have a little bit here and there, and it'll be fine!" without realizing that I am not in fact a queen of moderation when it comes to alcohol. after one evening of drinking my usual (large) amount, I woke up at 1 am with a headache, tummy ache, heartburn, etc., and I just thought to myself "I hate this and it's not worth it." when I woke up in the morning, I poured the rest of my vodka down the drain. I don't need it. it's not good for me mentally. it's not good for my weight loss journey.

exercise

I want to start exercising regularly again! for a while, I was struggling with back pain and sciatica, causing me to lose feeling in my right leg if I walked too far, which scared me out of going for walks. I didn't want to get hurt from falling. however, that pain has disappeared now! I've gone for a few walks this past week, with each walk being between 1.5 and 2.5 miles in distance, and I love it. I also plan on starting up yoga again to hopefully help with my flexibility and mobility, as well as for mental health benefits. I plan on using the underbelly website (which promotes yoga for people in all bodies with an emphasis on accessibility) for yoga at home a couple of days a week, and I even signed up for a gentle yoga class at a wellness center near my house! my first class is supposed to be tomorrow night, but I might have to skip it - unfortunately I have come down with a cold, and I'm not feeling too hot right now.

new doctor

I received a devastating email a few weeks ago saying that my primary care physician (who I have worked with for years and who I adore) will no longer be accepting my insurance in 2025. my doctor and the physician's assistant have been so supportive and incredible, both while on my weight loss journey and even when I was struggling with weight gain. they're healthcare practitioners who are supportive of my weight loss journey without being fatphobic or condescending about my weight. so, learning that I need to find a new doctor was devastating and scary. I did a lot of research and found a couple of doctors who seem to have very good reviews and are consistently described as kind and compassionate, so I have a new patient appointment with one of these other doctors in a couple of weeks. I hope she's as supportive as my last doctor. I'm kind of scared about starting off fresh with a new doctor, especially since I used this opportunity to switch to a doctor with a different hospital affiliation, which means she won't have automatic access to my old records. so when I go to weigh in for the first time with my new doctor, they're just going to see that I'm 300+ lbs, not the fact that I've already lost 40+ lbs. I hope to get them up to speed, but it's still a bit daunting. I hope everything goes well with this transition.

where do I go from here?

I'm going to keep on truckin! I'm going to try to limit how often I order doordash, and try to make healthier choices when I do. I'm going to avoid alcohol. I'm going to continue going for walks when the autumn weather is nice and start practicing yoga a few days a week. I'm going to try to get a little better about drinking my water on workdays. I'm going to try to post more in the discord weight loss groups I'm a part of for support since sometimes being on a weight loss journey can feel a little lonely. and I'm just going to keep marching forward!