ivyshrinks

[ivyshrinks]

my weight has been stuck around 342 - 344 lbs for the past several weeks, and I'm getting frustrated. I know it's my fault because my eating hasn't been on point (too much doordash!), but I really want to get my act together this week.

I plan on doing at least 30 minutes of exercise per day this upcoming week, be it cardio or strength training or yoga. I also will not order doordash this week and I'm going to track my calories. I hope this will get me out of my little rut so I can finally break into the 330s!

[ivyshrinks]

the yoga class actually got canceled this week due to the instructor feeling under the weather, but I definitely plan on going next monday!

I'm going to my first ever yoga class tonight! I'm nervous, but the class is listed as gentle yoga, and there was a lot of talk in the class description about accessibility and making sure this is a practice for every body, so I hope I can keep up and I enjoy it!

[ivyshrinks]

I'm going to my first ever yoga class tonight! I'm nervous, but the class is listed as gentle yoga, and there was a lot of talk in the class description about accessibility and making sure this is a practice for every body, so I hope I can keep up and I enjoy it!

[ivyshrinks]

semaglutide update: week 14

my last update wasn't a very informative one, so I'm going to try to talk a bit more about what's been going on lately in this post! I'll make some bolded headers for different topics I discuss in case there's anything in particular you do or don't care about.

weight update

I haven't had the best few weeks. I've been eating kind of like an asshole - ordering doordash a lot, started (and stopped) drinking alcohol again, etc. however, I've been back on track for a bit now, and I'm down to a new low weight of 347.7 lbs (down from my april hw of 390 lbs and my july 9th sw of 380 lbs). this means I'm a little over 30 lbs down in three months! losing at a rate of 10 lbs/month is great, and I'm really happy with the progress I've been making.

medication update

I'm still taking 20 units of compounded semaglutide a week, which I think (based on the concentration of my meds) is equivalent to the 1.0 mg dose of the actual stuff. I plan on staying on 20 units for a while, maybe throughout my next vial of medication (which should last about 10 weeks at 20 units/week), then I might discuss with my doctor going up a bit if I feel like I need it. I think the therapeutic dose of wegovy for weight loss is 1.7 mg or 2.4 mg, so I'm still technically below the therapeutic dose, but it's been working fine and I don't want to jump up in dose too soon if it's not necessary.

struggling with knowing when to stop eating on semaglutide (tw: vomiting)

something I've been struggling with is getting used to my new stomach and fullness cues. I never really had fullness cues until starting semaglutide, so I have a hard time knowing exactly when to stop eating. this means I often eat slightly too much, and then immediately have to go vomit - not self-induced, but just too much in my stomach that my body rejects it. I've been vomiting a few times a week from eating a little too much during my regular meals, which is something that really bothers me. so now I'm trying to be more mindful of portion sizes, how much I put on my plate, and unlearning being part of the "clean plate club." I always feel the need to finish everything I put on my plate, but I need to realize that it's okay if I save some leftovers for later or even throw away the rest of my food when I'm full.

sobriety struggles

as for the alcohol that I mentioned earlier, I bought a big bottle of vodka a week or two ago and thought "I can just have a little bit here and there, and it'll be fine!" without realizing that I am not in fact a queen of moderation when it comes to alcohol. after one evening of drinking my usual (large) amount, I woke up at 1 am with a headache, tummy ache, heartburn, etc., and I just thought to myself "I hate this and it's not worth it." when I woke up in the morning, I poured the rest of my vodka down the drain. I don't need it. it's not good for me mentally. it's not good for my weight loss journey.

exercise

I want to start exercising regularly again! for a while, I was struggling with back pain and sciatica, causing me to lose feeling in my right leg if I walked too far, which scared me out of going for walks. I didn't want to get hurt from falling. however, that pain has disappeared now! I've gone for a few walks this past week, with each walk being between 1.5 and 2.5 miles in distance, and I love it. I also plan on starting up yoga again to hopefully help with my flexibility and mobility, as well as for mental health benefits. I plan on using the underbelly website (which promotes yoga for people in all bodies with an emphasis on accessibility) for yoga at home a couple of days a week, and I even signed up for a gentle yoga class at a wellness center near my house! my first class is supposed to be tomorrow night, but I might have to skip it - unfortunately I have come down with a cold, and I'm not feeling too hot right now.

new doctor

I received a devastating email a few weeks ago saying that my primary care physician (who I have worked with for years and who I adore) will no longer be accepting my insurance in 2025. my doctor and the physician's assistant have been so supportive and incredible, both while on my weight loss journey and even when I was struggling with weight gain. they're healthcare practitioners who are supportive of my weight loss journey without being fatphobic or condescending about my weight. so, learning that I need to find a new doctor was devastating and scary. I did a lot of research and found a couple of doctors who seem to have very good reviews and are consistently described as kind and compassionate, so I have a new patient appointment with one of these other doctors in a couple of weeks. I hope she's as supportive as my last doctor. I'm kind of scared about starting off fresh with a new doctor, especially since I used this opportunity to switch to a doctor with a different hospital affiliation, which means she won't have automatic access to my old records. so when I go to weigh in for the first time with my new doctor, they're just going to see that I'm 300+ lbs, not the fact that I've already lost 40+ lbs. I hope to get them up to speed, but it's still a bit daunting. I hope everything goes well with this transition.

where do I go from here?

I'm going to keep on truckin! I'm going to try to limit how often I order doordash, and try to make healthier choices when I do. I'm going to avoid alcohol. I'm going to continue going for walks when the autumn weather is nice and start practicing yoga a few days a week. I'm going to try to get a little better about drinking my water on workdays. I'm going to try to post more in the discord weight loss groups I'm a part of for support since sometimes being on a weight loss journey can feel a little lonely. and I'm just going to keep marching forward!

[ivyshrinks]

semaglutide update: week 11

weighed in at 352.2 lbs this week - 5.5 lbs down from last week!

[ivyshrinks]

semaglutide update: week 10

weighed in at 357.7 lbs this morning! didn't quite reach my goal of being 355 lbs or less by today, but close enough. I was supposed to have a weight check appointment at my doctor's office this morning, but I have covid, so I cancelled the appointment and will reschedule, preferably for mid-october. I hope to be down to the mid- to upper-340s by that point. I just need to buckle down with my eating.

I feel like my weight loss has been relatively slow for the past several weeks, and I know it's because my eating hasn't quite been on point. I'm obviously eating at a deficit because I am losing weight, but I know I could be losing a little faster if I didn't order as much doordash, if I didn't eat the snacks I buy for my niblings, etc.

[ivyshrinks]

after being stuck in the same five pound range for the past several weeks, the scale is finally moving in the right direction!!

[ivyshrinks]

oh, and an update to my "flirting with sobriety" post:

I've been sober since making that post, both from alcohol and weed.

during my first session with my new therapist, she listened to what I said about my binge eating, binge drinking, shopping addiction, etc., and asked "have you ever been tested for being neurodivergent? because that sounds a lot like it could be a manifestation of adhd and your brain trying to get dopamine"

a past therapist suggested that I might be autistic, but we never went through the process of getting a formal diagnosis. I've been doing a lot of research on audhd women, and a lot of it seems to fit for me.

the realization that some of my behaviors might be because of adhd has been a revelation for me. I was operating on the understanding that I was bipolar, even though that diagnosis didn't quite feel right for me. a past psychiatrist said that my overspending, overeating, overdrinking, and not sleeping bc of hyperfixations were hypomanic episodes - even though they were not really episodic. I wouldn't go through periods of high highs and low lows - the overdrinking, overspending, overeating, hyperfixations leading to me staying up all night, etc., just sort of would happen whenever. so the concept that these behaviors might actually be manifestations of adhd is really a huge revelation for me.

in the near future, I'm going to schedule an appointment with a neuropsychologist to get evaluated and see what he has to say.

[ivyshrinks]

semaglutide update: week 7

weighed in at 361.3 lbs today.

I've been stuck in the mid- to low-360s for the past four weeks or so, which has been a little frustrating, though I know my eating could be better. for example, this past week I overate at work for three days in a row (monday we had a pizza party, tuesday we had bagels and taco bell and high calorie coffee drinks, and wednesday we had a potluck). plus, I got my financial aid refund for school, and I went a little crazy with ordering doordash a few times. however, I hope that by being a bit more moderate and in control with my eating this week, I can be in the high 350s by next week!

I have a goal of being down to the mid- to low-350s by september 17th, when I have a weight check appointment at my doctor's office. I was 375 at my last weight check, so I'd like to be down about 20 lbs from that at my next one. I think I can do it! I just gotta buckle down and make some better choices.

yesterday was supposed to be my fourth and final week at 10 units of compounded semaglutide, but I increased to 20 units a week early since I was losing weight rapidly on 5 units but have been stagnant on 10 units. I've been handling the medication well, so I figured it wouldn't hurt too much to increase a week early and see if the higher dose has more of an impact on me. so far, so good. I haven't really had any side effects besides feeling a little fatigued, but I don't have work this week, so it hasn't been that big of a deal for me to lay down for a little while midday.

even though I've been getting frustrated about being stuck in the 360s, sometimes I have to pull back and look at the bigger picture. I started semaglutide on july 9th, and in less than two months I've lost nearly 20 lbs. that's awesome! I'm proud of myself and I'm motivated to keep on going!

[ivyshrinks]

at around midnight, I reached out to a therapist. she emailed me back this morning to set up a phone consultation.

her therapy group focuses mostly on eating disorders and body image issues, which I do struggle with, and my struggles with substances like alcohol and weed are very similar to how I've always used food to cope as well. I want to find healthy coping mechanisms to replace food, booze, and weed, as well as figure out how to heal my relationships with eating, food, and my body. I want to lose weight, and I want to keep it off for good. years ago, I lost 140 lbs... then I regained 190 lbs. that yo-yo dieting isn't good for me or my body. I don't want to lose the weight and then binge eat my way back to morbid obesity again. I'm sick of getting into these binge/restrict cycles. I just want to eat in a way that nourishes my body and honors my hunger/fullness cues. I want to life a healthy life, and I want to stop relying on substances to get me through the day.

the therapist implied she had availability as soon as this evening for our phone consultation, so hopefully she gets back to me soon and we can set something up. I want to get this ball rolling!

I think I need to start flirting with the idea of sobriety.

for a while now, I've had a rocky relationship with alcohol. I've mostly given it up since starting semaglutide, except for a few occasions where I drank (too much) socially.

I've tried to replace alcohol with weed, but it hasn't quite been "hitting the spot" for me - it's not the same as alcohol, and I miss my booze. and the weed has just been giving me the munchies, which has been leading to full-on binges, which then puts me into an awful binge/restrict cycle.

for the sake of my physical and mental health, I want to live a sober life. but the thought of sobriety is turning out to be scarier for me than I expected.

I've been using substances for a while now to make life feel more bearable. the thought of having to find some other way to get through my days is intimidating. but I want to live a healthy life.

I don't know where I'm going with this.

I think tomorrow I'm going to give away my weed to family members who partake so it's no longer in my possession.

[ivyshrinks]

I think I need to start flirting with the idea of sobriety.

for a while now, I've had a rocky relationship with alcohol. I've mostly given it up since starting semaglutide, except for a few occasions where I drank (too much) socially.

I've tried to replace alcohol with weed, but it hasn't quite been "hitting the spot" for me - it's not the same as alcohol, and I miss my booze. and the weed has just been giving me the munchies, which has been leading to full-on binges, which then puts me into an awful binge/restrict cycle.

for the sake of my physical and mental health, I want to live a sober life. but the thought of sobriety is turning out to be scarier for me than I expected.

I've been using substances for a while now to make life feel more bearable. the thought of having to find some other way to get through my days is intimidating. but I want to live a healthy life.

I don't know where I'm going with this.

I think tomorrow I'm going to give away my weed to family members who partake so it's no longer in my possession.

[ivyshrinks]

semaglutide update: week 4

weighed in yesterday at 363.7 lbs! I'm down 7.3 lbs since last week, down 16.3 lbs since starting semaglutide, and down 26.3 lbs from my highest weight!

I increased the dose of my semaglutide this week. I've mostly felt fine on it, which is nice because I was worried about side effects.

[ivyshrinks]

I'm officially a corgi down!

[ivyshrinks]

semaglutide update: week 3

I've had a pretty good week! my father had his birthday this week, so there was a day or two where we had pizza and cupcakes in the house, but I was fairly moderate with what I ate. besides that, I've been eating fairly healthy.

most days I felt a reduction in my appetite. tmi, but one day I even vomited at work because I accidentally ate too much lunch too quickly. it's kind of weird getting used to being satisfied when eating less, and I've been working hard to get acquainted with my body's fullness cues.

weighed in this morning - 371.0 lbs! I've lost 9 lbs in three weeks on semaglutide. I'm clearly not a "super responder" who loses 10 lbs in a week, but I'm very happy with this progress nonetheless.

my first mini goal weight is 370.0 lbs, so I'm 1 lb away from earning my first non-food reward! I'm very excited I'm almost in the 360s. it's probably been about a year since I last was in the 360s.

here's to another good week ahead of me!

[ivyshrinks]

semaglutide update: week 2

I've officially finished week two of being on semaglutide and will be taking my third shot this morning!

this week, I've definitely started to notice a reduction in my appetite. I'm satisfied eating smaller amounts, and I'm satiated for longer after meals. very cool!

however, I didn't lose any weight this week because I was at a friend's house for the weekend. while I didn't eat as much as I normally would, I was drinking copious amounts of alcohol. now I'm back at home, and I plan on staying on track this week!

current weight: 375.6 lbs

[ivyshrinks]

semaglutide update: day 3

on tuesday, july 9, 2024, I took my first dose of compounded semaglutide! I had to go the compounded route because my insurance doesn't cover wegovy for weight loss, and I'm only pre-diabetic so I did not qualify for ozempic for diabetes. my compounded semaglutide costs $297/mo, which is expensive, but I'm willing to budget for it for the sake of my health.

I was nervous to give myself the injection since I don't like needles, but it was easy peasy - it didn't hurt at all as the needle went in!

since then, I haven't had any side effects, nor have I really felt any of the primary effects of the medication. I still have the "food noise" that people report losing on semaglutide, I still have an appetite, etc. I didn't necessarily expect the food noise or my appetite to disappear since it was only my first shot of the starting dose, and I won't be at the therapeutic dose for a couple of months; however, some people are "super responders" to the medication and report losing their appetite immediately, food noise disappearing immediately, etc., so part of me is a little disappointed that I didn't have that kind of immediate response to the medication.

I've been white-knuckling it for the past few days. I've been eating healthier, eating smaller portions, etc. - but like I said, I still have the food noise and a strong appetite, so it's been a little rough. I know this medication doesn't magically burn fat - I still have to put in the effort to lose weight through cico.

that being said, the morning I started semaglutide, I was 380.0 lbs. as of this morning, I was down to 375.2 lbs! nearly 5 lbs lost in three days! I'm going to keep working hard to lose this weight and keep taking this medication, and hopefully the effects of the medication will be noticeable soon!

today I have the day off work, and part of me would love to order doordash, but I want to lose a little bit more weight before I go to the doctors office for a weight check next tuesday, so I'm going to try to keep myself busy by cleaning the house.

[ivyshrinks]

meal prepped a lentil salad to bring with me to work for lunch this week! gonna eat it with a piece of pita bread, a serving of hummus, and an apple. all of that should be around 650 calories!