#nonverbal communication in writing

[radiosummons]

I do find it kinda cute that Mandalorians will physically use their bodies to convey their emotions. I don't know why, but the exaggerated nonverbal tilt of their heads to indictate confusion, amusement, shock or whatever else just never gets boring to me. Not to mention the way they will shift their bodies to lean up against something or to indicate that they see someone as a threat.

If anything, I find myself more a bit more endeared to watching these nonverbal forms of communication. One of my favorite things about acting and animation is the subtle choices the actors/animators will make in silently communicating a character's emotions or mental state. I find myself more fascinated by not what a character actually says, but how they use their body and their facial expressions to convey what they really mean.

I do also find the idea of Mandalorians being more unguarded about expressing their emotions when their helmets are off to be a very interesting take that I've seen some members of the fandom run with. Especially if said Mandalorian has never really had to learn to guard their expressions due to wearing their helmet constantly. That's a cool idea and I'm glad that people have been exploring this.

I dunno. Maybe it's just because I was an Animation major and had a few professors that made us study acting/guest lectures on acting, but the ability to convey any thought or emotion nonverbally is just one of the coolest things I think you can use to express a character's personality, motivation, conflict(s), etc.

Tldr; This is really just another way of me saying I think the Mandalorians are neat. They're my special space idiots and I can't help but talk about them.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[lo-fag]

idk man. i just think itd be really cool if sign language classes were mandatory throughout primary school. yeah because it would make communication with deaf kids and autistic/nonverbal kids much easier. and those kids would be accessible to the others so they could make friends and have healthy relationships. yeah. and kids would eat that shit up man. like their own little secret language? they love that.

[b11rn0ut]

Stop writing your nonverbal characters as “quiet”!!!!

Obviously if there is a bigger character reason for their quietness, not an issue

But if your sole reason for them being such is that they don’t speak please reconsider why you think that way!

Most of us who don’t use verbal communication as a main form communication (or are more comfortable being nonverbal) are not quiet! If anything we are the loudest people you’ll know!

It’s all about balance! If you have a character who doesn’t speak, evaluate the way they interact with their world!

Do they use sign language? Are there other people in their life who know sign language, and are able to engage with them?

Do they use a audio device like an aac?

If they had to get the attention of one person across the room in a noisy space, how would they do it?

Like every character you write, they should be 3d!! Just because they have something unconventional in their livelihood, does not negate this fact!

[river-neurodivergent-willow]

When you write nonspeaking/nonverbal characters, stop making the plot that they finally speak or they finally make a understandable sound or they finally laugh. STOP.

Can you think of any plot other than the "miracle" of the character becoming less disabled in the disability you're supposed to be representing???????????

This is only in my personal opinion as a nonverbal person though. If you are only seeking writing inspiration/help about writing for a huge community from one person that is a big problem

[aenslem]

STARGATE UNIVERSE (2009–2011) ⤷ Deliverance

[pixierainbows]

[clownrecess]

Hey dude(gender neutral) I have a question about AAC tablets! So I want to make an OC who uses these… and vague question but… how can I write an accurate/ cool character with irl problems? Keep up with the amazing content!!!! Stay cool!

Hello!

Here are some things that are helpful to remember when writing or making a character who uses an AAC device.

It takes us longer to say things. We can't just bust into conversation immediately, it takes us a while to get down a sentence, especially when it's a long sentence.

Our device is not something sad. It is fantastic, and beautiful, and helpful. My device's case is one of my favorite colors, and it has stickers on it. Make it look cool! Not sad.

We can have complex thoughts, opinions, and identities. I have lots of thoughts and opinions, and my identity is complex.

We are not all cishet.

Lots of (not all, if course!) us use AAC straps to carry around our devices more easily.

Not necessary of course, but personally, I'd love to see an AAC user character with a cool fashion sense.

And finally, some of us do use the term nonverbal and that is super swag and valid, but if you are speaking, please default to using nonspeaking instead of nonverbal.

[ichverdurstehier]

So I'm writing an autistic character who's currently having a speech loss episode due to extreme trauma (trust me you don't want to know) how should I describe the noises he's making and his attempts at communicating? There's no AAC devices bc they haven't been invented yet. Nonverbal autistics and semiverbal autistics of Tumblr, what sounds do you make when you're trying to communicate but your mouth doesn't work? My strain of autism doesn't involve speech loss so I cannot use my own experiences

[crippy-tangerine]

Not being able to describe/identify/communicate our emotions “normally” makes our therapy/medical check-ins so hard… And just. Frustrating, really.?

For a start!! “How are you doing this week?” feels impossible to answer. Like… It does not feel socially acceptable to respond with: “I feel like I am watching myself bury the sun beneath the dirt in third person- and as each handful of soil slowly extinguishes its light, my chest caves inwards and my blood seeps out of my pores and mixes with the earth. And my hands won’t stop patting down the blood-soaked earth over the star that I’ve just killed.”..???? Like yeah, don’t think that’s a good answer to give, especially when the person asking doesn’t actually care.?? But like… We don’t know how to translate the feelings we have into quick, one-word answers. Or even just a “normal” sentence. We just sound so damn emo when we write stuff (/lighthearted). And we need days/weeks/months (or sometimes years!!) to work out how we feel about a situation and how we want to respond to it. Which means our (lack of) response is not appropriate…

Emotions feel like music, so to then have people expect us to communicate them all with a single word.??? It’s not doable for us. Let alone when the response is wanted in a matter of seconds. So we end up saying “I don’t know” 95% of the time (because we don’t know!!) and we don’t communicate anything at all. The other 5% of the time we just guess and say something like “depressed” or “sad” or “anxious”. Because we don’t know any better words to describe the feeling of your world ending by your own hand.???

It’s extra difficult because we need AAC & simple signs/gestures to communicate anything. So we don’t even say “I don’t know”- we either have to put that into our phone, or just shrug.?? Interactions with us in-person are very one-sided (which often isn’t handled well by anyone involved). We don’t do well with conversations. As you can probably tell.!! Thanks, autism…. (/sarcasm).

TLDR: having a “nonverbal-autism-problems” moment!! This emo autistic struggles to not be emo & autistic- and fails!!! WOMP WOMPPPP.

(We don’t want “advice” on communicating “better”, we are already at peak performance for us. Unsolicited advice is NOT a slay!!!)

[daftpatience]

metamorphosis is about becoming disabled and the absolute wretched ways that even ones family can end up treating them when that happens and in this essay i

[voidscreamns]

./

[thefabelmans2022]

what's with the weird neurodivergent superiority complex going on recently. that makes me uncomfortable.

[nyanko-sensei-tte-yonde]

My kudoichi fic is finally done! As always, pls mind the tags as this is an E-rated fic.

[mj-iza-writer]

Whumptober Day 29

I only sink deeper the deeper I think / scented candle / Troubled Past Resurfacing / "What Happened to me?"

Whumpee gave an awkward apologetic smile to Caretaker as they smelled the tenth candle in the aisle.

Caretaker smiled back, patiently letting them pick the one they wanted.

"It's okay, take your time", Caretaker replied happily.

All of the fall scents were amazing, it was hard to choose.

"This one maybe", Whumpee held it to Caretaker's nose.

Caretaker took a wiff, "yes that one smells good."

Whumpee set the candle in the basket.

They took one more off the shelf.

"One more for good measure", they held it to their nose.

Caretaker watched as Whumpee zoned out, and froze. Fear spread across Whumpee's face.

Whumpee felt as though all air had left their body. They stared at the floor, trapped in fear as dread washed over them.

Caretaker smiled weakly as someone walked past eyeing Whumpee. They quickly grabbed the candle from Whumpee and placed it back on the shelf.

Whumpee whimpered as Caretaker pulled them down to the floor. Caretaker sat down with them and cuddled them close.

"Okay Whumpee I'm right here with you", Caretaker talked slowly, "you are in a panic attack right now. We are going to ride this out together."

Caretaker slowly rocked Whumpee.

"Are you able to hear me Whumpee?"

Whumpee nodded into Caretaker's chest, their eyes had glazed over now.

"Are you able to speak, can you tell me where you are mentally right now?", Caretaker played with Whumpee's hair.

Whumpee shook their head no.

"Okay, that's okay. You went nonverbal that's all", Caretaker sighed, "okay, I'm going to start working you out of this attack, okay."

Whumpee nodded, internally pleading with Caretaker to rescue them

That smell brought them to a place they had long, purposely forgotten.

Whumpee felt Caretaker doing their best to break them out of the trauma response. Caretaker had pulled another candle off of the shelf.

"Okay Whumpee, I need you to breathe with your nose", they held the candle under their nose, "right now I am making your senses work so your brain will focus on that. If I overwhelm you, just look at me, okay."

Whumpee breathed in the candle's scent.

Caretaker put the candle to the side, and gently reached for Whumpee's hand.

"Nomph", Whumpee pulled their hand from Caretaker, and tucked it away.

"Okay", Caretaker gently rubbed Whumpee's back, "that's is okay, thankyou for letting me know."

Whumpee screamed at themself for reacting like that.

"They're trying to help you idiot", Whumpee screamed in their head, "it felt like that horrid man though", their inner monolog fought.

The candle scent came back as Caretaker gently talked to them.

Whumpee finally started to phase out if it.

"I like that scent to", Whumpee sighed, then buried their face into Caretaker's body, "I'm sorry."

Caretaker rubbed Whumpee's back, "don't apologize, panic attacks are going to happen. You did just fine."

"I'm sorry I pulled away from you, I know you were trying to help", Whumpee started to sob, "it scared me."

"It's okay, I should have told you what I was doing. You reacted just fine and told me what you need", Caretaker looked down at them.

"Do you want to talk about what happened now, or should we get our things and go home?", Caretaker smiled.

"Can we go home?", Whumpee looked up from burying their face, "is it okay if I'm nonverbal though? Talking is too much right now."

"Yes, absolutely, you don't have to ask, but thankyou for letting me know. If you need anything just point at it, or poke me", Caretaker promised.

Whumpee nodded and started to get up, and Caretaker followed.

Caretaker took a whiff of the candle that put Whumpee into the attack before putting it away. They wanted to have an idea of what the smell was.

Once home Caretaker put away everything.

"We got both of the candles you liked, should we light one?", Caretaker held them both. They had decided to grab the one they used for Whumpee as well.

Whumpee nodded with a smile, and pointed at the one they wanted.

"Okay, I'll light this one", Caretaker smiled, "let me know when you are ready to talk about what happened. Please stay nonverbal as long as you need though, we can wait."

Later that evening, Whumpee found Caretaker in the kitchen.

"Caretaker, I think I'm ready. Are you available?", Whumpee stood at the doorway, hugging a stuffie."

"Yes of course, let's go to the living room", Caretaker smiled.

"So what happened?", Caretaker watched them get settled.

"The house I use to live in, that house use to smell like that candle, at least close enough. When you asked where I was mentally, at that time I was kneeling in front of my abuser. When you grabbed my hand, it felt like they were grabbing me", Whumpee looked down, "I felt like I was there again."

Caretaker jotted a few notes down for Whumpee's care journal, including the name and brand of the candle.

"It has been a while since we've seen your past resurface", Caretaker looked up from the notes, "is there anything that we need to pay attention to, are you feeling alright."

"Right now, I feel okay, still feeling the low after the attack though", Whumpee thought for a second, "I think that's all."

"Okay, let's allow a couple days of rest for you to get back up again, and regain your energy", Caretaker wrote while talking, "if you notice anything change or you feel another attack coming on let me know."

Whumpee followed the scent of dinner a little later. They came down to the kitchen to find Caretaker getting ready to set the table.

"May I help Caretaker?", Whumpee stepped into the kitchen.

"Yes, if you are feeling up to it, that would be great", Caretaker handed them some plates.

Caretaker and Whumpee sat down to dinner.

Finally Whumpee was feeling better again.

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all. @villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived @sacredwrath @porschethemermaid @monarchthefirst @generic-whumperz @bloodyandfrightened

[slayingfiction]

Writing Nonverbal Communication: Proxemics 

After some research, we now know that nonverbal communication makes up 93% of all the messages we interpret when communicating with one another. “[Dr. Mehtabian] concluded that the interpretation of a message is 7 percent verbal, 38 percent vocal and 55 percent visual,” and this means an important element of communication can be forgotten when we are writing novels.

What is proxemics?

Proxemics, one of the aspects of nonverbal communication, is the study and use of physical distances between people who are interacting. There are four zones in which people are categorized within this study. 

Intimate: This the closest distance you can get to someone. This space should be reserved for only those whom you have close relationships (partners and family).

Personal: This is the second closest space you should take up with someone whom you have a personal relationship but aren’t so close with that you want them within touching distance (friends and family).

Social: This is for people you know, but are not close with at all (colleagues, teachers, other parents at a school meeting, coworkers, etc.)

Public: This is the zone for those without any prior contact with and are still strangers to you. 

Are these spaces always a specific distance?

Nope! In general, all cultures will have different opinions on their personal zones. For example, people will have smaller proxemic zones in Argentina, whereas Romania will have larger distances in their zones. Though, this does go beyond cultures as well. People who consider themselves to be more introverted will have larger circles to keep people at a distance, while extroverts prefer to be closer to those they are speaking with. Some people, such as people with autism, may opt to never have anyone in their intimate zone, in which case, all four zones would get shifted to whatever distance is most comfortable for them to interact with others, and have a dead zone around them that no one can enter. 

How does this help me write?

Conveying targeted information into your writing helps with suspense, subtlety, and subtext. Readings do not like to be told what is happening, they like to figure it out themselves. This is a key element when faced with the classic writing advice “show don’t tell”. This opens up a whole new world for writers when utilized.

Let’s look at some examples of how this can improve your writing:

If your antagonist walks up to your protagonist, directly forcing themselves into the intimate zone, this could be considered a threat and cause fear, anger, or tension. Even if they use kind words, with a sweet smile and demeanour, it will not change the fact they they intentionally crossed into the protagonist’s intimate zone without permission. 

A shy classmate joins others for a group project but chooses to sit in the seat directly next to the protagonist instead of other empty seats. Does this mean the classmate likes your protagonist, trusts them, feels most comfortable around your main character? That’s up to you to decide, you can convey this with their next actions, little to no dialogue needed.

After a fight between a couple, one joins the other to watch television after cooling off for a while, but still aren’t speaking with each other. Do they sit next to each other, meaning despite the fight, they still want this relationship to work, and enjoy the other’s company. Or do they sit on the opposite side of the couch to keep as much distance between them as possible, meaning they are still angry, processing, and don’t want their partner too close to them. 

A student runs directly into another student’s intimate zone to show them they got an A on their test. If neither takes a step back, this likely doesn’t bother either of them because they have a very close relationship, and don’t mind having each other in their most intimate zones.

There are many ways that proxemics can be used in writing to show types of relationships, intimacy, fear, cause suspense or suspicion, and more when writing. Start by practicing little by little and reviewing places where you can add in proxemics around your dialogue to improve the overall message you are trying to convey without telling the readers what is happening.

Happy Writing!