#none of these apologies mean anything to me
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told you i like gentle giants so you softened up .ᐟ
plot: ceo!sukuna and the woman he was forced to marry finally learning to get along.
content warning: none at all. it's not 18+ but if i make a fic it will be.
peachy's yap: i wanna make this into a fic but im not 100% sure yet, lmk ! no smut just a small fluff to test out the waters. one last one shot coming until i go on a lil break.
this wasn't what you wanted at all. ever since you were a little girl you planned to get married to a caring man. years later give birth to a love child hold he or she in your arms as you and your loving husband smiled at one another.
that dream was gone now and here you were a year after your wedding. terrified to even knock on the door of his study knowing his temper was off the wall at the moment. when you were cooped up in your hobby room you could hear him barking orders. while you sat in silence writing novel after novel he forbade you to publish.
this was your everyday, wake up alone, eat alone, write alone, shower alone, watch movies alone, and even go to sleep alone. he was in his study night and day until his hefty body slipped into your shared bed waking you at 2am. he didn't bother to apologize he just turned away going to sleep himself. and yet you found yourself wanting to be close to sukuna.
you sighed already knowing the conversation you both were bound to have today... just like every month for the last year. you were given to him for your writing and negotiating skills. his father the previous boss offered to pay your father millions to suspend the contract at your job for you to work for them. all for money. you raised your hand knocing on the wretched door.
you and sukuna moved into this house 6 months ago and it felt like you'd been locked away in a tower. although sukuna never listened to your ideas or let you have your way about anything he left the house details to you. he stood back as you worked with the sketchy architect who purposely looked down your blouse (his words).
he let you pick out the number of rooms, and bathrooms. the ceiling height, the shape of the pool, even how many patio chairs you wanted. he let you decorate the house pick the colors, even would let you throw splashes of pink and purple where ever you pleased. but you never did it, you didn't want to do it if not with sukuna.
but to sukuna none of this mattered because his work was more important. in his words he said 'i'll let you deal with less important matters. at least im positive you won't fuck that up.' did that statement hurt? hell yeah but even then you still wanted to be close to him.
"s...sukuna?" you stuttered waiting to hear his gruff voice.
"get in here." he said sternly and you pushed the heavy doors open, struggling at the weight. once you pushed in you stood by the door hands behind your back fingers laced. "sit." he said pointing to the chair in front of his desk and you scurry not wanting to anger him.
"i'm sorry i didn't come sooner i was writing and i had a idea i couldn't lose." you plead his eyes never left yours. he face expression neither annoyed nor pleased.
"why must you continue writing, when you have a duty to fulfill here." he grumbled and you looked down at your thumbs.
"sukuna you wont let me go with you to negotiate that's all m'good for." you say and he scoffs at your excuse.
"you are here to write contracts and negotiate deals you have not done any of that over the last year!" he said his voice raising, by no means were you a push over. scared of this big, brolic, hunk definitely but one thing you'll never be is a punk.
"you have yet to assign me any work. i know what you'll say 'you should come ask me if there's anything to do' but you are my boss. you instruct i follow, i refuse to do anything for you if you can not request it on your own." your reply was calm, you didn't want to anger him further.
"i don't want to overwhelm you," he sighs. his strict facade dropping as he handed you papers and you hum. looking down at the papers it was full of stats and numbers that made your head spin. "this is everyday work for me, i need your help but i must figure it out alone."
"the numbers are a bit crazy but it's not much to find a way to make a deal that'll pretty up the numbers." you tell him and he nods.
"how?" he asked and you looked up at him. this was the first time sukuna had asked for your help. you were shocked that he even let you know that he needed help.
"i mean your the statistics man. once you work out the numbers we can talk negotiating." you tell him with a smile hoping the sly compliment of him being good with numbers didn't slip past him. his red eyes looked up at you through his thick lashes. the corner of his lips tugging upwards as if he wanted to smile and couldn't.
this day was the first day you sat next to sukuna behind his desk. your knees touched and even that amount of contact was enough for you. you helped him clean up his desk and he didn't object he just said 'make sure you put them where i tell you'. and you did picking up the papers on his desk and organizing them for him. placing them in different stacks based off who and what they were from.
little did you know sukuna admired your every move. he watched how you walked around his office complaining about how dull it was. how your curls bounced with every step you took. he watched you search up paint colors and decor for his office. not once did this distract him, he either hummed in agreement or disagreement as he worked on the numbers.
even days later the connection between sukuna and you began to grow. he listened to your opinions and even stepped out of his office during the day. he came to your writing room to sit and drink coffee with you at 3am when you felt like you had a good idea. he even showed you the room you called the 'junk room' that was quite literally filled with sukuna's junk. he pulled out an electric guitar bragging about how it was signed by one of the best.
he tells you the name as you face scrunches up in confusion never hearing of this man ever. but even your disinterest in that didn't deter his sheer audacity and gall. he called you a degenerate and said you were a bug under a rock. you replied with 'more like a boulder' as you looked him up and down judgingly.
this comment made sukuna laugh, yes actually laugh. from that day you never held in a joke, letting anything on your mind loose. sometimes sukuna would look at you as if you said the stupidest shit on earth. most times he'd shake his head with an endearing smile but 2 times out of 10 he'd laugh.
day after day the more time you spent with sukuna the more you were pulled out of the depression. you watched movies of families with a smile even thinking about having a child with that demon.
in return sukuna became more comfortable approaching you. initially he was scared to anger you or say something that would hurt your feelings. heading his father's warning 'don't talk to her too much. you know how you are, you'll hurt her feelings.' so he listened avoided starting conversation, leaving the bed before you woke up and coming in after you fell asleep. ate in his office and never ever entered your writing room.
that day you came in and told him he was your boss changed his brain chemistry. his father was wrong, he wouldn't hurt your feelings because you wanted him to act like your boss. you could dish it out and take it. that day was when sukuna thought to himself 'i could really get used to this'.
that's why after a month of the two of finally getting along sukuna instructed you to meet him at the dining table. dining table was a stretch as it only had 2 chairs. as you waited for him assuming it was about work you were shocked for sukuna to slam down your houses floorplan.
"it's about time we made this house into a home don't ya think?" he asked looking at you and you smiled. and the two of you sat there all night you sipping on a shirley temple and he drank whiskey. he promised he'd make you cocktails from now on since you found out he was a bartender for all of 3 months.
you planned and brainstormed until the next morning. you were leaned on the table drool coming out of your mouth. sukuna smiled at how comfortable you had became around him. he lifted you and carried you up the stairs. that was the first day sukuna felt like he was really a husband. that day was when sukuna swore to himself that he would be a husband.
#kamospeach#peachywritez#mspeach#mzpeach#peachy#jujutsu sukuna#jjk au#jjk x reader#jjk#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen sukuna#jujutsu kaisen#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu x reader#jjk x black reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk x oc#jjk x black oc#jjk x black!fem reader#jjk x black y/n#sukuna jjk#sukuna#ryoumen sukuna#sukuna ryomen#jjk sukuna#ryomen sukuna#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n
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WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING, rafe cameron, 20
summary: y/n left the outer banks years ago, determined to build a life far from the memories of her childhood love, rafe cameron. now a botanist, she's moved on-though a quiet part of her still clings to the past. when an event brings her back to OBX, she's forced to confront the one person she never truly forgot.
cw: none | masterlist | 19 | 21 |
The group was buzzing, the energy in the club electric after the wedding rehearsal. Everyone had fallen into their own rhythm—JJ and Cleo tearing it up on the dance floor, Topper and Kelce playing some obnoxious drinking game, and Sarah holding court with John B by one of the lounge booths.
You stood by the bar, waiting for your drink, the crowd shifting and pulsing around you. The sleek black dress you wore fit like a second skin, the neckline daring, the slit high enough to turn heads. Your hair fell in soft waves over your shoulders, catching the soft glow of the club’s neon lights.
You weren’t trying to get attention, but you weren’t blind to the effect you had—least of all on him. You felt it before you saw it, that familiar, heavy stare. Your skin prickled as you glanced sideways, catching Rafe standing a few feet away. He leaned casually against the bar, his sharp jaw illuminated by the amber glow of a nearby light.
His drink hung lazily in his hand, but his piercing gaze was anything but casual, trailing over you in a way that sent a shiver down your spine.
“Please don’t look at me like that,” you said, your voice low but cutting as you turned to him fully.
Rafe didn’t flinch. If anything, his smirk deepened. He pushed off the bar slightly, stepping closer, his towering frame making the space between you feel even smaller.
“Why not?” His blue eyes flickered down to your lips for just a moment before meeting yours again. “I like looking at you.”
You faltered, swallowing thickly under his gaze. “You know what you’re doing.”
“I really don’t.”
He shrugged, though his smirk gave him away.
“Just noticing you, Sunshine. Can’t help it when you look like that.”
His eyes flicked down, slow and deliberate, taking you in. Your lips parted, your breath hitching slightly. You recovered quickly, crossing your arms in front of your chest, your lips curving into a faint, teasing smile.
“Careful, Cameron,” you said, leaning slightly closer, your voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.
“You’re starting to sound a little obsessed.”
Rafe’s smirk didn’t falter, but there was a flicker of something darker in his eyes.
“Oh, I passed a little a long time ago.”
Your cheeks heated, but you refused to let him see you squirm. Instead, you tilted your head, your gaze locking onto his like a challenge.
“You know my boyfriend’s right over there, right?”
Rafe’s smirk twitched, and you could see his jaw tighten just slightly. “Yeah,” he said, his voice lower now, quieter. “Doesn’t change anything.”
Your heart stuttered, and you hated the way it did. Hated the way his voice still had this effect on you, the way he seemed to see right through you.
“Rafe,” you warned, your voice soft but firm.
“What?” he asked, leaning in just enough that you could smell the faint mix of his cologne and whiskey.
“Am I not allowed to notice how good you look? You’re impossible not to look at, Y/N. Impossible to ignore.”
Your breath hitched again, and you couldn’t stop the slight flutter in you chest, no matter how much you tried. You leaned back slightly, your fingers curling around the bar for support.
“You should try harder.”
He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Believe me, I’ve tried.” Something about the way he said it—low, honest, like a confession—made your chest tighten.
You exhaled sharply, shaking your head. “I came here to apologize, not... this.”
“For what?” His voice softened, his smirk fading.
“For what I said to you at the chateau,” you admitted, fidgeting with your drink straw. “I didn’t mean it, not all of it. I was angry.”
“It’s fine,” he murmured, leaning closer, his voice low and deliberate. “You don’t owe me anything, Y/N. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel how I feel.”
“You were right, though. I haven’t done much to prove you wrong.”
You sighed. “Still. I shouldn’t have said it like that.”
There was a pause, heavy with unspoken words.
“Y/N,” he murmured, stepping closer, “do you ever think about—”
You cut him off, stepping back. “Rafe, stop.”
But he didn’t. “What if you just let yourself—”
“Rafe.” Your tone was firmer this time, but the way your cheeks flushed betrayed you.
“You’re unbelievable,” you muttered, your tone lighter again, teasing even.
“And you’re beautiful,” he shot back without hesitation, his voice soft but firm, like he couldn’t hold it in any longer.
Before you could respond, the bartender slid your drink in front of you, breaking the moment. You grabbed it quickly, needing the excuse to pull away.
“Look,” you said quietly. “I don’t want this to be weird during the wedding. Sarah’s my friend, and—”
“I’ll behave,” Rafe cut you off, his smirk returning. “Scout’s honor.”
“Good,” you replied, stepping back. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Enjoy the rest of your night, Cameron,” you said lightly, your tone airy as if you weren’t fighting the heat rising to your cheeks.
Your turned on your heel, walking back toward Noah. You felt Rafe’s eyes burning into you as you moved.
When you reached Noah, you didn’t hesitate. “Hey, babe,” you said, your voice soft and warm as you slid an arm around his waist.
He turned to you, his face lighting up instantly. “Hey, sweetheart. Everything okay?”
“Perfect,” you murmured before standing on your toes and pulling him into a slow, deliberate kiss.
Noah blinked in surprise but quickly melted into it, his hand resting lightly on your lower back. When you pulled away, you smiled up at him, your gaze warm and steady.
Rafe watched from the bar, his drink untouched in his hand, his jaw tight. The knot in his chest grew tighter, the sharp sting of jealousy and longing intertwining in a way that made him dizzy.
You caught his eye over Noah’s shoulder as you walked past, your expression unreadable but deliberate.
It was a silent message, and it hit its mark.
Rafe’s grip on his glass tightened as he downed the rest of his drink in one go, the burn doing nothing to dull the ache.
🏷️: @xoxo-ada @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @sleepiibunniiii @urbrunettebombshell @sideboobrry11 @acidfeens @marleymarleymarleymarley @hadids-world @ursogorgeous13 @louxmcl @cyberkitty1 @pogueprincesa @drewrry @the-oracle-at-delphinitely-not
a/n: i was very inspired by this edit. GO BIRDS 🦅 🦅
#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#outer banks#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe fic#rafe x reader#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe angst#rafe au#rafe#rafe drabble#outerbanks rafe#rafe outer banks#rafe obx#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron x you#obx series#obx x reader#obx x you#outer banks angst#outer banks au#obx fanfiction#obx fic#obx#outer banks x reader#outer banks fanfiction#obx cast#while you were sleeping
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hello!! Can you write a headcanons/oneshot post of (separate) ticci toby, eyeless jack, and/or jane the killer dating a piercing obsessed! Reader? Ppl always say lots of piercings r unattractive :(( but omgg i love ppl with lots of piercings, theyre so lovely! Thank youu:D
𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞
(𝗻.) 𝗔 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗼𝗼𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e6a7be5d99cdc19fb898b430b3c795ba/eeeaded4fe95d826-d2/s540x810/8797c3296ec58161b1a04b171de450d8fdd8bc51.jpg)
: ̗̀➛ Piercing!Reader x Shared Headcanons
(Toby, Jack, Jane)
Summary: GN!Reader with love for piercings/having multiple being in a relationship with Toby, Jack and Jane. How would they react?
Warning(s): None! Mostly just fluff, FEM & TRANSF in mind for Jane
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5fd112c6c8cbd30f27b4f8ece950d207/eeeaded4fe95d826-b8/s540x810/fa6652188a4c81e132eeed2d8182bb3b94d67f58.jpg)
・❥・ Toby
First of all, Toby himself is covered in a lot of facial piercings so he is not one to judge! He loves piercings, especially on himself (egotistical asshole knows how sexy he is), so if you love them just as much him, he immediately just yaps with you
Do not trust him to give you one.
Now if you really like piercings but hate needles? He definitely bullies you about it some but understands. Since he can’t feel pain he can feel a lot of the pressures/intrusions that the pain usually covers up and it can weird him out
He plays with your piercings like a lot. Mostly nervous fidgeting type things
OMG DO YOU HAVE TO STAY ONTOP OF HIM IF HE GETS A NEW ONE, he is so bad at taking care of them himself but he’s so good about taking care of yours. Little weirdo
Now, Toby can be mean during fights so sometimes if he’s close enough he’ll twist one. Petty little shit. But he is quick to apologize, he just likes winning arguments
・❥・Jack
Jack like.. literally cannot see. So he genuinely just thinks your piercings are apart of you. Like he really doesn’t remember things of humans and so he completely forgot about minuscule things like piercings
He does like licking them tho, that nice metal taste
Weirdo.
Once you actually explain it he’s a little perplexed. Since he’s an apex predator usually they associate things like anything piercing you as hindrance to hunts
But whatever makes you happy!
Since Jack does live in a lot of holes/caves you probably are gonna wanna let your piercings heal a lot or just clean them a lot more so the dust and dirt doesn’t infect/irritate them
If you wanna give Jack piercings well.. it’s gonna have to be like a really protected spot. He’s running around and climbing lots of trees not to mention how many people actually do try fighting a 6’10 demon..creature…thingy. So you don’t want him getting hurt
That and his healing factor literally is just too good at its job. Damn powers. But hey you can get those little fake ones! He’ll try to keep them on but…
・❥・Jane
Again! She doesn’t judge. She thinks they’re pretty cool, now she can’t have any cause.. well.. she’s a little crispy but! She will wear matching fake ones with you
Definitely best person to get a nice piercing with as she helps you clean and stay on top of them
She bought you a little machine thingy to clean them for you<3
She does actually have her ears pierced but she can’t wear them for long any more :(
She is also stupidly good at finding missing earrings, piercings and jewelry like omg. Like I mean fucking assassin’s creed eagle vision type shit
She’s good in general at findings things really
Omg does she love kissing your piercings <3 she especially likes nose piercings, JANE IS A NOSE KISSER IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS
my romantical wife<3
She will buy rings and necklaces to match your piercings too! She’s pierced with you in spirit ya know
: ̗̀➛ hehe i loved this. I gotta write Jane and the others their own general headcanons soon, I’m just lazy. Also tell me why Chapter 3 is not plotting how I want it too like come on brain work, anyways I loved this little ask! I have got to start writing more of other characters too I have like… 18 drafts of all sorts of shit. Impulsive writing — Ace
#creepypasta headcanons#creepypasta x reader#ticci toby x reader#creepypasta ticci toby#ticci toby#eyeless jack x reader#creepypasta#eyeless jack#creepypasta eyeless jack#jane the killer#jane the killer x reader#creepypasta jane the killer
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hello there! I would like to request something about donna being stressed or under too much pressure and taking it on reader in bed and accidentally hurting her? after that donna is very reluctant to be intimate again but reader reassures that they can try again. Could it be gp donna? Thanks! Have a good day
Yessss!!!! Thank you for your request!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!! :)))))
Stressed
Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader
Warnings: G!P Donna, smut, Minors DNI, angst, mental health issues, Donna being Donna
Word count: 7,928
Summary: She put too much pressure in herself, and it had consequences...
N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I love you all!!! :))
“Okay, I found it,” you said triumphantly, grabbing and waving the black cloth in your hands.
Donna sighed in relief as you approached with the veil she thought she had lost, a shy smile forming on her face.
“Where was it?” she asked curiously, with a somewhat impatient tone.
You shrugged and pointed to an old table with disinterest.
“There,” you said, playing with the cloth in your hands, trying to find the right position. “It seems that someone has been playing hide and seek again, hasn't it, Angie?” you mocked, glancing sideways at the doll, who received the accusation as a terrible offense.
“Me? You silly villager, you have no evidence!” the puppet protested, with a tone that betrayed her guilt.
“Angie… per favore,” the lady in black lamented, shaking her head. “I don't want to be late for the meeting.”
“Well, we found it just in time,” you said with a smile, quickly caressing her cheek.
The brunette returned the caress, kissing you softly on the lips before you raised your arms to place that horrible fabric on her head.
“Meeting, meeting, meeting, how boring,” Angie doll murmured, making you give each other another knowing look.
“Yeah… you say it,” you commented, playing along with the puppet and winking at her. “Hey, Donna, now that I think about it…”
“Mm?”
“What if you don't wear it?” you suggested, tilting your head slightly and placing a lock of black hair behind her ear.
She frowned instantly.
“(Y/N),” she murmured, letting you know that the idea, of course, didn't please her at all.
“What? I didn't say anything stupid, Donna, you don't need to,” you insisted. “You know you're beautiful.”
“S-Stop it, tesoro,” the woman said, shaking her head and giving you a nervous smile.
“You are the most beautiful woman in the world,” you said sincerely, approaching little by little and lovingly kissing the tip of her nose.
“Sciocchezze,” the doll maker insisted, shaking her head effusively.
“Nonsense? No, honey, it's what I think,” you answered amused, moving the black cloth away from her face.
“Exactly, it's what you think,” Donna said, with a satisfied tone. “Per favore, (Y/N), we're going to be late.”
“Donna…” you sighed, frustrated. “Come on, none of your siblings seem to care about their appearance, why do you��?”
“Will you shut up and put the veil on me already?” the brunette interrupted, snatching the cloth from your hands and looking for the right position, leaving you surprised by that abrupt attitude “Cavolo…”
“Oh, okay, as you wish,” you said defeated, shaking your head and looking for your coat.
“I'm sorry,” she apologized seconds later, while picking up the irreverent doll from the floor. “(Y/N), we've already talked about it, I… I… prefer to wear the veil.”
“I didn't mean to offend you, my love,” you whispered, rubbing her arm affectionately. “Hey, lately you've been a little more… irritable than usual, has something happened?” you asked as she opened the door, answering you with a vague gesture.
“No,” she said briefly, offering her arm for you to grab.
“Mm, okay,” you said distrustfully. “Damn, it's so cold.”
“Come closer to me, tesoro,” she said affectionately, pulling you a little.
“With pleasure,” you joked, hanging on to her arm and enjoying the first steps of that walk.
The meetings weren’t very common, but they were inevitable.
Mother Miranda's leadership over the Four Lords seemed to be maintained precisely thanks to those meetings, reminders that they are under her command, that she protects them, just as, every week, she reminds the villagers that she, and the Black Gods, protected them.
It didn't exactly make you happy to walk towards that dark cave, towards that underground cathedral where the four founding houses of the village met.
But, of course, you were going with her, with Donna. For the lady in black, leaving her old mansion was a milestone. Walking somewhere other than the Beneviento grounds was something that, for you, was worth the effort.
You were once the Duke's assistant, the fat merchant who sold supplies to the village, the Lords, and anyone with coins in their pockets. As his assistant, you had to run many errands, and of course, you were in charge of going to places the merchant didn't want to be.
The old mansion by the waterfall, the Beneviento Estate, was one of those places. You were born and raised in the village, you knew who lived there, but somehow, you couldn't get a picture of it in your head.
All that came to your mind was the color black, that talking doll, that stoic figure. To your surprise, those little encounters weren't as unpleasant as you thought.
The few words you exchanged with the strange woman became almost necessary in your life, addictive. That hoarse voice, that melodic tone, that intimidating presence… Of course she caught your attention.
Little by little the visits stopped being business-related, adorned with very poorly prepared excuses and with a desire to continue getting to know Donna Beneviento, a tormented woman, surrounded by rumors and legends.
Nonsense in your opinion. Yes, Donna was strange, she was sick and she was dangerous, but none of that appeared in your mind when you decided to get a little closer to her, just a little closer.
Love was not long in coming, as she, also surprised by your interest, let herself be carried away by the situation, by that sensation so new to her: being loved.
The Black Gods were particularly cruel to her. Where there should have been a small scar on her right eye, there was now a deformity that she herself considered horrible.
For you it was nothing like that, it was simply a peculiarity, and that natural reaction and the word “beautiful” coming out of your lips was the last thing you heard before melting into her in a passionate kiss.
Over time, you stopped going to the mansion, to live in it next to the lady in black and the Angie doll, a perfect place for you, next to the woman of your life.
Nothing, neither her appearance, nor the changes that the gift of the Gods made in her body prevented you from continuing to love her, from continuing to get excited about everything the woman in black did. You loved her, she loved you, there was not much more to add.
But, although everything was going great, lately the brunette's attitude had become tense. The afternoons in the workshop seemed eternal for you, she seemed nervous.
“(Y/N),” Donna whispered, taking you out of your memories. “Wait…”
You both stopped in the snow, just before crossing the wooden doors that marked her territory.
“What's wrong, honey?” you asked worriedly, noticing her body trembling. “Donna, what's wrong?” you insisted when you didn't get a response.
“I haven't been completely honest with you,” she confessed in a soft voice, leaving her doll on the ground.
“Oh,” you sighed suspiciously, trying to read her face, something impossible, of course. “Well, well… I thought I already knew all your secrets,” you murmured with a hint of mischief, wrapping your arms around her waist.
The lady in black gently grabbed your wrists, shaking her head.
“No, I… I…,” she stammered somewhat nervously, looking around, as if she were scared. “Yes, something's wrong.”
“Mm, okay…” you said, dragging out your words and changing mischief into understanding. “Do you want to tell me?”
“Yes, it's just that...” the lady whispered, sighing, as if she wanted to gain the necessary courage. “It's just that I feel... I feel that... I-I'm not like the others.”
“The others? You mean your siblings?” you asked curiously. “Of course you aren’t, Donna, you are much more...”
“Basta,” she interrupted, playing with your hands. “I-I want to open my feelings to you, tesoro.”
“Fine, forgive me,” you said empathetically, calming her hands in yours.
“I just don't... I don't think Mother Miranda trusts me as much as she do with them,” Donna explained, making you listen attentively. “You know, I... well, I'm not strong, o-or, especially good at anything and...”
“Oh, honey, what are you saying?” you asked in a tender tone, caressing her face under that horrible fabric. “Donna, you are very special.”
“Special...” she hissed mockingly. “It's not about being special. It's about trust, (Y/N). Mother Miranda hasn't trusted me. Sometimes I don't know why I'm even a Lord.”
“I suppose she named you Lord due to something, right?” you said, starting to understand her frustration.
“Yes, because of my family. If I wasn't of noble blood, she probably would have ruled me out,” the lady said, looking away.
“Don't talk nonsense,” you said, trying to get that idea out of her head. “Donna, you have the power to summon a person's worst nightmares. That's... terrifying... and powerful,” you joked.
“Hey, you sticky idiots! We're going to be late!” Angie interrupted, jumping impatiently in the snow.
“And there's Angie too,” you said amused, pointing at the doll with your head.
“S-So, why doesn't she give me a single important task?” the brunette asked, revealing with her nervous tone that it was the reason for her stress the last few days. “I feel useless…”
“Hey, listen to me, you're not useless, Donna. You're a wonderful woman and… well, I confess that before I met you, you scared me,” you said, careful not to hurt her fragile feelings.
“Grazie, (Y/N), but that's not enough,” Donna sighed, bending down again to pick up her doll.
“W-Well, then… why don't you offer yourself for the next task? That way you'll see that Miranda trusts you,” you advised, grabbing her hand to continue your way.
“Maybe,” she whispered again.
The walk through the village continued in silence. Well, at least you knew what was going on in Donna's mind, and you understood the reason for her stress and anxiety, although you really thought she had no reason to think that way.
Of course, your presence wasn’t allowed at the meeting, so you had to wait patiently for it to end, as always.
In the distance you could hear deep, dark voices, and their echo in the old stone walls.
After an impossible amount of time, the sound of furniture scraping across the ground told you that the meeting was over, and you sighed in relief, knowing that you would finally return home.
“My dear, how are you?” Alcina Dimitrescu, lady of the castle and Miranda's favorite Lord asked.
“Fine, my lady,” you answered elegantly, avoiding those always seductive eyes as they pursued you mercilessly.
“Doll face…” whispered Karl Heisenberg, a man who, if it weren't for his actions, could be mistaken for just another villager, a crazy one though.
“Karl,” you greeted politely as he looked at you over his glasses, awkwardly, as always.
Seeing Moreau, you began to grow impatient, as Donna didn’t come out.
“Hey, Sal,” you said, drawing the sea monster's attention. “Where's Donna?”
“She's talking to Mother,” he replied with devotion in his voice, to which you nodded and rubbed your hands before getting braver and peeking through the door.
“Perché?” you heard the lady in black ask, while, just as you had been told, she was talking to the most dangerous woman in the village; the emissary of the Gods, Mother Miranda.
“Mm, Donna, my dear Donna,” the priestess sighed, with a maternal tone that made your hair stand on end. “You are not fit for that task.”
“But, but, why?” the brunette insisted, while her doll made eye contact with you and ran to your position.
“Angie, what's going on?” you asked the puppet when it got close enough, without taking your eyes off the conversation.
“You're stupid,” the doll hissed, gesturing for you to pick her up. “Donna is stupid too… Look at her, following your advice.”
“Advice?” you asked, stopping looking at Angie when you heard Miranda speak again.
“Donna, cara mia, what you have to do is stay at home, safe, with your dolls and that villager you play with,” the priestess said, making the knot in your stomach grow.
“S-She's my girlfriend,” the lady defended herself, with a weak, submissive voice.
“Whatever,” Miranda sighed, visibly tired of the conversation. “My dear… you're not good for such a complex task. Everyone should know where their limits are.”
“If you trusted me, Mother Miranda, you would see that…” Donna insisted, clasping her hands together. “I’m capable!”
“Gods, Donna, stop shouting,” Miranda protested. “Ugh, what a pain… No, Donna. Now go away.”
“But, but Mother…”
“Taci,” the priestess ordered. “You serve me perfectly as you are. Honey, can't you see that you are not right in the head? Negotiating with the outside world is a task for Karl.”
“I’m not crazy,” Donna protested, making you want to slap that stupid raven-woman.
“I didn’t say so, dear,” Miranda whispered, approaching the lady and taking her hands.
“Ma…”
“No, the discussion is over. Now go home, with your dolls, where you need to be, mm?” insisted the priestess, caressing her face in a way that made your stomach turn. “My poor Donna… you have to relax.”
“Yes, Mother,” the lady nodded, defeated.
“Come on, go with your girl and have some fun, it's clear that you need it,” the priestess said, with a sinister smile under her mask. “Oh, hey, if you're so bored, why don't you get that village girl pregnant? One more follower never hurts…”
“You motherfu…”you cursed under your breath, clenching your fists in rage.
“She's talking about you,” Angie whispered in your ear, clearly mocking.
“Shut up,” you snapped at the doll.
“Didn't you hear me? Get out, dear,” Miranda told Donna, making a nasty gesture with her hand.
The lady in black growled, visibly enraged, and turned around, walking quickly towards the door where you were, passing you by in an unpleasant manner.
“Hey, Donna, wait,” you said hastily, following her towards the exit. “Donna”
“Donna, Donna!” Angie also called, shaking in your arms.
“Honey, my love, wait,” you said, managing to put a hand on her shoulder, one that the lady in black pushed away with another nasty growl. “Hey, darling, wait...”
“Lasciami!” Donna shrieked, enraged, walking quickly through the village.
“Silly Donna! What...!?” Angie protested, faced with her owner's attitude. “Hey, stupid!”
“Chiudi quella cazzo di bocca!” the woman yelled, making her voice bounce everywhere, causing the doll to thrash around in your arms and climb onto your back, hiding comically.
“Hey, that was rude!” the doll protested, hiding behind you again.
The woman in black growled, ignoring you, and continued walking back to the mansion.
You preferred to keep quiet, following Donna closely, but not stopping her. When she was furious, it was better to leave her alone. After all, poor Donna was sick, and that made her somewhat unstable.
The ventriloquist entered the mansion with a loud bang on the door, throwing the veil to the floor and not bothering to look at you.
“Cazzo, cazzo, cazzo!” she yelled furiously, kicking the innocent chairs in the dining room, unable to control herself. “Porca puttana!”
“Shit,” you whispered, lowering the doll to the ground, ready to intervene. “Donna…”
Angie ran away in terror from her owner's wrath while you slowly approached, avoiding ending up like one of those poor pieces of furniture.
“Hey, stop it!” you shrieked, grabbing the lady and preventing her from hitting another of the chairs. “Donna, please!”
“I'm useless!” the lady shouted, trying to get away from your hands on her shoulders, something she didn't manage. “Maledizione!”
“Hey, come on, stop it, darling, stop it,” you said in a soothing tone, cupping her face in your hands. “Calm down, my love.”
“She, she told me that…” she said nervously, blinking erratically, but slowing her breathing.
“Shh, I know, don't pay attention to her,” you whispered, hoping that your caresses on her face were enough to calm her down.
“What do you mean you know? Have you spied on me?” she asked, distrustful, moving away from you.
You rolled your eyes, grabbing her hand and slowly leading her to the last chair that was left standing.
“That doesn't matter,” you said, sitting her down and studying the trembling of her hands, the rage contained in her body. “That's it, there...” you sighed in relief, since Donna didn't seem to have any intention of moving.
“I'm useless!” Donna shouted again, making you close your eyes and bend over her lap, rubbing her legs, starting to despair. “Cazzo!” she shrieked, repeatedly hitting the table with her fists, making you grab them quickly.
“Donna, don’t!” you shouted in an authoritative voice. “No, stay still! Stay still!”
The lady glared at you, but stopped resisting, taking a deep breath, trying to calm down.
“That's it... calm down,” you said in a sweet voice, caressing her hands. “I'll go get your medicine, you're very nervous.”
When you passed by her, her hand grabbed your wrist tightly, preventing you from moving.
“No, no medicine...” Donna sighed, her gaze downcast, regretful for her behavior. “Please...”
“Okay,” you sighed, picking up a nearby chair and sitting in front of her, watching her hands. “Donna, darling...”
“Do you understand?” she asked after a few seconds of silence. “Mother Miranda considers me weak, a nuisance.”
“That's not true,” you said in a calm voice, praying that her anger wouldn't take over her again. “I was really spying and she didn't say so.”
“No, but... but she thinks…” she whispered, with a much more relaxed, shy tone.
“Bah, I don't think so,” you said, not knowing if you were being completely sincere. “She just cares about you.”
“(Y/N), I know you don't like her,” she said, knowing you too well. “I know you're just trying to make me feel better.”
“Well, I'm your girlfriend, right? It's my duty,” you joked, slowly taking her hand again.
“So what's mine, (Y/N)? Make dolls and wait for someone to be stupid enough to sneak into my territory so I can demonstrate my powers? Huh?” the brunette counterattacked, abruptly crossing her arms.
“Hey, if you gave me the choice between talking to people from the outside world or staying at home with my girlfriend doing what I like the most… well, I think you already know what I would choose,” you explained with an understanding smile, trying to make her see reason.
“You still don't understand, (Y/N),” Donna said, shaking her head, running a hand through her hair. “It's not about comfort, but about trust… Mother Miranda considers me weak and…”
“You're not weak, I know you're not,” you interrupted, drawing her gaze to you. “You have to relax, and stop putting so much pressure on yourself because if not…”
“If not what, (Y/N)? Do you think I'm crazy too? Oh, of course you do… Poor crazy Donna, she can't do anything for herself.”
“Donna, not again. You're sick, you're not crazy, and besides, that's not...” you said, starting to lose patience.
“Do you also think I'm useless?” she murmured in a sad tone, slowly getting up from the chair. “Don't answer, I don't want to know.”
“Donna,” you said, getting up too and surrounding her waist from behind, leaning against her. “You're not useless. You're a wonderful woman, the woman I love...”
“Mm,” she murmured with disinterest, turning around little by little and resting her forehead on yours.
“Is that a smile I? A very small one?” you joked affectionately, playing with her, pretending to tickle her. “Mm, Donna, if you only knew how much I love you...”
“(Y/N)...” the lady sighed, while you, seductively, hung on her neck.
“Besides, there are many things you do well,” you whispered in her ear, timidly biting her earlobe. “So many things…”
“You think so?” the lady whispered, lowering her hand to your leg, moving it to encircle her waist while her nails discreetly ran over your skin.
“Mm…” you nodded, letting yourself be carried away by her caresses under your dress. “Oh, yes, I do…”
The lady smiled, but not in the way she usually did. There was something in her gaze, something that revealed that her thoughts were still in the cathedral, that, although her hands were caressing you and her lips were very close to yours, she wasn’t thinking about them.
Leaving aside that mysterious air, you rushed to devour her lips in a deep, passionate kiss, one that you hoped would bring her thoughts back.
She reciprocated it effusively, digging her nails into your skin while biting your lips. Normally Donna was passionate, and many times she let herself go, but there was something very different in her movements, a rush and a furious, avid breathing.
“Mm, yes, you're very good at this, darling,” you purred in her ear, placing a hand on her chest to stop her kisses. “Come, I think we can continue talking in the bedroom…”
“No,” the brunette refused, letting your hand go when she started to drag it. “No… you're not going to tell me what… what I have to do.”
“Mm?” you asked mischievously, before gasping sharply, as the brunette moved first, grabbing your legs and lifting you into the air while her kisses prevented you from protesting.
“I'm not useless…” the lady whispered as she carried you in her arms to her desk, sitting you on top. “I'm not…”
“Of course you’re not, darling,” you said amused, moving your neck away so that she could devour it comfortably, biting, sucking, defiling your flesh in a hot, hurried way. “Mm, Donna… keep going here…” you whispered pointing at your chest, causing her to move away.
“Shut up,” she ordered you annoyed, with a cold look. “Are you going to tell me again what I have to do?”
“No, but,” you said frowning, wrapping your legs around her to bring her closer again “It's just advice, my love.”
“Cazzo… I don't want your advice!” Donna shrieked furiously, pulling away abruptly and getting you off the table. “Don't… tell me…”
“What you have to do,” you said, closing your eyes and moving your hands in a gesture of surrender, taking this rough, and unexpected treatment too well.
“Porca miseria… I'm fed up!” she shrieked again, turning you around and bending your body.
“Oh, as you wish, my love,” you said, blushing from the heat emanating from your body, from feeling so dominated.
The lady growled when you tried to kiss her and, with a sudden movement, lowered your head to the wood, making you hiss in pain.
“Hey, my love… be careful…” you protested, still laughing, with your head throbbing from the blow.
“I said shut up,” Donna hissed, giving you a hard spank. “I'm going to show you what I'm capable of, (Y/N)…”
“Mm,” you murmured curiously, trying not to move too much.
With a tug, your underwear went down to your ankles while her body positioned itself dominantly on top of yours, imprisoning it, leaving you with no way to escape, although you didn't want to, of course.
“Hey, Donna, wait a moment, shouldn't we play a little first?” you asked, noticing how her fingers buried themselves in your folds, experimentally, dirty, without any prior gesture of affection.
“Taci,” she answered, accelerating her movements on your clit, causing you to moan involuntarily, and the nervous movement of your legs.
“Gods… keep going…” you moaned, noticing how your wetness was increasingly noticeable, how you longed for her touch, how you longed for her inside you.
“I don't want to,” she protested in a childish way, giving you another spank and making the contact disappear, so you moaned desperately. “You're going to shut your mouth and let me do whatever I want with you, do you understand?”
“Donna, it really turns me on when you get dominant…” you moaned, writhing on top of the table, pleasantly surprised by that attitude.
“I'm always dominant, (Y/N), don't forget it,” she hissed, with another spank, releasing her erection with a gasp, rubbing against your entrance impatiently.
“Yes, but be careful because... Donna!” you screamed when you noticed how she entered you abruptly, without asking permission, without the foreplay that accustomed your body to accept her. “Donna, wait, give me some time to...!”
“Silenzio!” the lady yelled, leaning towards you, settling between your walls, stretching them in a hasty, painful way. “I'll do whatever I want.”
“Yes, I understand, but...” you said, hissing in pain when you felt a strong tug on your hair, bringing your face closer to hers. “D-Donna, you're big, let me adjust…”
“If you don't shut up, I will,” Donna whispered in your ear, releasing your hair and making your head hit the wood again.
Without warning, her hips began to move. They weren't calm, controlled thrusts, there were no kisses on your skin, but unconscious shivers due to the brunette's attitude.
Even in a hurry, your body quickly got used to her shaft, changing that slight discomfort into pleasure and heat, one that spread throughout your body.
“I... I'm not useless...” Donna growled, after a strong thrust, staying as far inside you as she could, hitting the table with her fist. “I'm not!”
“No, no my love... you're perfect,” you said panting, moaning uncontrollably from that excessive pleasure. “Gods, you're so hard...”
“I'm doing this well, right? Do you like how hard it is for you, tesoro?” the lady mocked, getting close to your ear before resuming her hurried movements, making the desk shake under your bodies.
“Yes, yes Donna…” you moaned as you bit your lip, adjusting yourself when the wood started to feel uncomfortable.
“Basta!” your girlfriend scolded you, spanking you hard and holding your buttocks, digging her nails into your skin. “That's it… Così stretta… Così bagnata…”
“Oh, Gods…” you gasped, suffocated by the pleasure, sitting up to feel more of Donna's movements, so that your walls caressed her erection much more intensely. “Donna!”
Your cries and moans seemed to go unnoticed by the lady in black, who growled as she leaned down again, moving her hips quickly, very close to you, making you almost feel the horrible sensation of her pulling out, but thrusting into you again moments later.
“How outrageous,” the lady mocked and, when you turned to look at her, you noticed she had a deranged look, completely different than usual, which made you start to worry.
“Honey, calm down, honey…” you said while her body moved faster and faster, fighting against her grip to try to kiss her lips, something you couldn't do, as her hand lowered your face against the wood again.
Her hands became shackles for your wrists, securing you in the same position without her thrusts stopping. She had you imprisoned, and it wasn't an unpleasant feeling at all.
“Look at me, Mother Miranda!” Donna shrieked with a nervous laugh. “Look what I'm capable of doing and you're not! That's it... You envy me! Is that it? I'm capable of doing this!”
Those words put you on alert. It was obvious that Donna wasn't well. That crisis she had before hadn't completely disappeared. However, that didn't stop you from continuing to enjoy it.
“Oh, don't name her… you're delirious,” you protest, as Donna bring the raven woman into such an intimate action.
“I can make her mine! I can cum inside and give her a child! You'll never be able to do that! What do you think of poor, crazy Donna now? Huh? Stronza!” she continued to rave, dangerously increasing the pace.
You couldn't process her words much, as an electric current shook all your nerves, forcing your muscles to tense, to break free from their restrictions and lean upwards, exclaiming a scream of pleasure at feeling your release.
“Cazzo! (Y/N)!” Donna shrieked, with a satisfied laugh, enjoying the wetness of your orgasm on her erection, the greater ease she now had to slide in. “Sto… sto per…”
“Gods, yes! Do it, fill me, Donna!” you said, kicking nervously at the jolts of pleasure.
“Sto per venire!” she moaned, stopping as her release coursed through your walls, wetting them, heating them even more.
The wetness you felt inside you excited you again, but Donna didn't seem to want to continue, she was exhausted. You could hear her labored breathing at the same time as her release began to slide down your legs.
“Gods, Donna,” you said, laughing nervously, freeing yourself from her grip and getting off the table. “It was…”
“Mm,” she moaned, putting her shaft away awkwardly and avoiding looking at your face. “Mm…”
“Shh… hey…” you said, worried by her lost gaze, by not seeing sanity in her only eye “Donna, what was that? You're not okay, are you?”
“I…” she said, shaking her head, wiping the sweat from her forehead and freezing when she looked at your face. “Oddio… (Y/N)…” she sighed worriedly, reaching her hand towards your forehead. “You're hurt.”
“What?” you asked confused, bringing your hand to the same place, noticing a blood stain on your fingers.
Suddenly your mind remembered that blow against the table and your head began to throb, although you tried not to give it importance.
“It's nothing, just… just be more careful next time,” you said with a smile, hiding the pain.
She shook her head, blinking rapidly, as if seeing your wound had brought her back to her senses.
“No, no, no…” she lamented, cupping your face in her hands. “What have I done!? I, I hurt you…”
“It's okay, Donna, it was an accident,” you insisted, seeing the concern in her eye again.
The lady in black shook her head, looking down at your wrists, marked with a small red line, right where she had grabbed you.
“Le tue mani…” she sighed, grabbing one of them slowly, studying the mark. “No…. No…”
“Hey, come on, it's okay,” you said, frowning as she ran her fingers through your wounds. “You were nervous, okay? I shouldn't have left you…”
“Yes, you're right, I… you shouldn't have left me… I hurt you… I hurt you!” she screamed, kicking the floor, losing her temper again.
“Shh, Donna, that's enough, that's it, it's okay, I had a great time and…”
“No!” the lady exclaimed, clenching her fists. “I h-hurt you… tesoro, I’m sorry, I…”
“Stop apologizing,” you insisted, trying to grab her hands, something she stopped by moving away little by little, as if she was afraid of you, or afraid of herself.
“I… I didn’t want to hurt you, I…” Donna sobbed, shaking her head, with her eye wide open and her chest rising and falling rapidly. “That wasn’t right… I didn’t… Gods, I did it inside, (Y/N), I could have gotten you pregnant,” she said nervously, coming closer and taking your hands, terribly scared.
“Come on, that’s not possible, honey,” you said slowly so she could process your words properly. “I’m taking measures, remember? Donna, honey, remember?”
“Y-yes,” she nodded shortly after, without calming down completely. “But, but I…”
“Forget it, okay? Nothing happened…” you whispered, resting your forehead on hers, wetting her skin with your blood. “Oh, wow, um… I should go wash up.”
Donna, scared, moved the stain from her forehead and studied your wound calmly, without saying anything, terribly sorry.
“Perdonami, per favore…” she murmured, with a deep pain in her soul. “(Y/N), I, I didn't want… I…”
“It's okay, my love… You'll always be the woman of my life… My beautiful Donna…” you whispered to comfort her while she hugged you tightly, shedding a sea of tears on your shoulder.
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” she squealed, muffled by your clothes while you simply closed your eyes, caressing her hair. “I’m sorry…”
“Come on, honey… let’s take a bath, okay?” you suggested, taking her hand and walking, or rather, dragging her towards the elevator.
It certainly wasn't how you expected the day to go.
Donna didn't speak during the bath. She was confused, disoriented and regretful. Despite your insistence letting her know that you forgave her and that it wasn't really that horrible for you, far from it, she didn't react.
But that silence only lasted until bedtime, where, without saying a single word, the lady in black dropped her defenses, bursting into tears, falling asleep in your arms.
“Damn you, Mother Miranda,” you whispered, cradling the brunette in your arms.
Of course you knew she felt terribly guilty about what had happened, but your focus wasn't on the consequence, but on the cause. How absurd; thinking that Donna wasn't strong was simply nonsense and you knew it.
She was the youngest of the Lords, she was sick, yes, but that didn't make her useless. How you would have liked to teach that arrogant priestess a lesson…
Little by little the situation calmed down and Donna seemed to forget what had happened at that meeting. Of course, you made a special point of not reminding her, of giving her much more affection than usual. You had to let her know how special she was to you, how much it meant to your heart to see a smile on her beautiful face.
The lady calmed down to your relief, and began to ignore the hurtful words of her adoptive mother, understanding what her place was, what her destiny was: to protect the village, and to be with you.
You, triumphant and satisfied at having solved the problem that tormented her, decided to act normally again, which involved, among other things, a stealthy night attack.
“Donna…” you sang, putting your hand in the sheets, interrupting the brunette's calm reading. “Let's see, let's see… what do we have here?” you teased, moving up her legs, placing your hand on the bulge between them, making her frown.
“(Y/N), what are you doing?” she asked without looking at you, turning a page of her book.
“Playing…” you hissed in her ear, kissing her neck while your hand began to stimulate her slowly.
“No…” Donna said, moving away from your touch, blushing, but with a cold look. “No, (Y/N).”
“No?” you mocked, moving closer again, increasing the intensity of your grip on her more than receptive shaft. “Your body doesn't agree, Don, Don…”
“Don't call me that,” she protested, moving again. “Oh, come on, let it go, tesoro.”
“Mm,” you complained with a growl when she pushed your hand away. “But, Donna, you were getting…”
“I-I said no, don't insist,” the lady said, her voice weak, getting closer and closer to the edge of the bed.
“Hey, Beneviento, you haven't laid a hand on me for days, I demand some affection,” you said jokingly, comically chasing her under the sheets.
“I give you all the affection you want, (Y/N),” Donna murmured, pretending to continue reading. “Isn't that enough for you?”
“Come on, I don't mean that kind of affection... you know I love your kisses, your hugs... but there's something else I love, do you know what it is?”
“No,” she answered dryly, distracted again, until she realized what you were going to say. “Oh, cavolo, don't say it…”
“Stay still, I just want some…” you purred, moving closer one last time, which made the lady fall comically off the bed.
“Cazzo…” she growled annoyed as you peeked out, holding back your laughter.
“Donna, honey, are you okay?” you asked amused as she stood up, glaring at you. “Come here.”
“No,” she said childishly, crossing her arms. “What do you want?”
“Gods…” you sighed, shaking your head. “Sex, Donna, I want sex, I need sex, have I been clear enough?”
“Yes,” the doll maker said, nodding confused. “But, I'm sorry, (Y/N)… no… I don't feel like it.”
“Normally you're the one who...” you said perplexed
“Well, not now, (Y/N). Besides, I... I... I'm going to sleep in the office,” she said awkwardly, grabbing her pillow.
“Oh, really?”
“Yes, you're not able to keep your... hands off me,” the lady defended herself, looking away.
“Fine, whatever,” you said grumbling and turning around. “Good night, Donna, I hope you enjoy that uncomfortable couch...” you yawned, with a smile hidden on your face.
“Ugh...” she sighed, after a moment of silence, getting back into bed. “Well, I'll stay, but, but... stay away from my penis, is that clear?”
“Yes, yes...” you said, rolling your eyes and turning off the light. “Good night, Donna.”
It seemed like an isolated incident, a simple rejection for some reason you didn't know, but it wasn't.
The next few days continued in the same way. It didn't matter how you came on to her, or if you just attacked her or told her straight up, Donna always rejected you. It was like she didn't want to be intimate with you anymore, something that made you more and more nervous.
Your movements left subtlety aside, cornering poor Donna whenever you had the chance. Even though her body always seemed receptive and you noticed a clear internal struggle in her gaze, she always refused or ran away from you, whatever suited her best.
Just when you thought everything was fine, trouble started to plague you again. You thought about what could be going through her head to refuse to merge with you, when you knew it was, without a doubt, one of her favorite hobbies.
Then you realized.
That argument with Mother Miranda had dug a deep hole in her feelings. Your excessive concern had probably led her to lock herself away again, surely with her insecurities constantly stalking her.
You didn't know what to do. Well, you wanted to get your sex routine back, of course, but there was something much more important to you: Donna's well-being.
“Seriously, what is she doing down there?” you asked Angie, glancing at the old clock, which revealed that, once again, Donna was spending more time in the workshop than she should.
“Running away from you,” Angie said, without thinking twice, which made you snort.
“Seriously? Do you think I'm overwhelming her?” you asked unsurely, remembering those days of constant persecution.
“It's pretty obvious, silly village girl. Donna doesn't want to make babies with you, accept it. She's probably noticed how ugly you are,” the doll mocked, making you repress your instincts to strangle her.
“But, but... what's wrong?” you asked, seeking advice from the least suitable person, or doll. “Is she mad at me?”
“How do you expect me to know? Leave my Donna alone for once,” the puppet accused you, jumping on the couch and pointing at you with her finger.
“Well... I guess I'll have to talk to her,” you sighed in defeat, regretting having to bring up the subject again, having to fight against her insecurities once again.
The doors of the workshop were closed, and, before entering and thinking about what you were going to say, you took a breath, gathering all the information you had, trying to find out what her problem was before an imminent crisis.
“Hello, sweetie,” you said, approaching her and hanging on her shoulders, kissing her cheek slowly.
“Mm, ciao,” she replied, concentrating on cleaning the imperfections of a porcelain hand.
“I thought I'd make dinner today, what do you think? You've been here for more than six hours, you need a break,” you said calmly, without letting your imminent interrogation show.
“I'm fine, I'm not hungry,” Donna replied, without losing her concentration. “Ugh, lasciami…” she protested when your kisses on her cheek intensified.
“Okay…the dolls…” you joked, moving away and leaning on her work table. “Come on, cheer up, I'm going to make pasta,” you hummed, raising and lowering your eyebrows.
“Now I'm really not hungry,” she said in a cold tone, highlighting some last details on the porcelain.
You gasped and gave her a soft punch on the shoulder, drawing a brief smile from her, a very brief one.
“Hey!” you complained amused. “You have no confidence in me…”
“The pasta doesn't have to crunch, (Y/N). Until you learn that, I'm afraid I'll have to reject your proposal,” the lady joked with a mischievous smile, leaving the hand on the table and looking at you fondly.
“Yes, okay, whatever you say…” you sighed, letting her gently pull you with a tender and sincere laugh. “Hey, Donna… we need to talk.”
“Cosa? Talk? Why?” she asked, suddenly freaking out, her face changing completely. “What have I done?”
“Well, rather what haven't you done…”you murmured, letting yourself fall into a nearby chair.
“What did you say?” Donna asked, without having heard you clearly. “D-Don't murmur, (Y/N), you make me nervous…”
“Do you know what makes me nervous, Donna? You, not saying why you keep rejecting me,” you finally said, in a serious tone, but gently taking her hands.
“L-Leave it be, (Y/N), it's better this way,” she murmured, pulling her hand away and turning around so she wouldn't look at you.
“Gods, Donna, why?” you insisted. “Hey, if I've done something...”
“You haven't done anything, okay? You haven't done anything,” the lady interrupted, clearly nervous, shaking her head. “I can't believe you're asking me those questions after what happened.”
“What happened?” you asked in a calmer, less arrogant tone. “I have no idea what you're talking about and... Oh, Gods, it can't be...” you sighed, realizing something. “It's because of that argument with Mother Miranda, right?”
“What? No,” the brunette denied effusively. “W-well, at least completely...”
“Donna, honey, everything would be much easier if you expressed your feelings better and…” you said sadly, causing an oversized reaction in the lady, who stood up furiously from her chair.
“Explain my feelings!? What do you want me to explain to you? Huh?” she shrieked furiously, with her hands shaking on both sides of her hips. “There's nothing to explain, (Y/N). I don't, I can't do it…”
“Okay, okay, calm down, breathe, honey,” you said with a calm voice, approaching slowly, very slowly. “Calmati, amore mio…”
“Cazzo…” Donna hissed. “Stop ignoring it, okay? Stop pretending that nothing happened that afternoon, stop pretending that you love me after what happened.”
“What are you talking about?” you asked, crossing your arms, trying to remember to find the problem, without result.
“This, (Y/N),” she said, quickly approaching and pushing your bangs aside, revealing the mark of that blow. “I… hurt you.”
“Wait, you're not talking about Mother Miranda, are you? This has to do with what happened in the dining room and…” you said to yourself, blinking several times, finding a different approach to the problems, one that you hadn't given the slightest importance to. “Oh, no, Donna, you can't be serious… was all this because of what happened? Because you were rough with me?”
“Rough? No, (Y/N), I hurt you, I made you bleed, I wasn't careful with what I did, I hurt you… I… hurt you…” the doll maker repeated, with labored breathing.
“I already told you that nothing was wrong, honey, you were very upset,” you began to say, but she abruptly shook her head.
“And I took it out on you. You paid for my frustrations, I… lost control and…” Donna explained, moving away again, stopped by a hand on her waist.
“But, Donna…” you sighed with a tender smile, caressing her cheek. “My love… That's why you avoided making love to me, right? You were afraid of hurting me.”
She simply nodded embarrassed, closing her eye to enjoy your caresses.
“I-I don't want to lose control again… Mother Miranda is right. I'm n-not right in the head and…”
“Mother Miranda is stupid,” you affirmed arrogantly, tilting your head. “Your only problem is that you take everything she says seriously.”
“Of course I take it seriously, she created me, she…” Donna murmured, confused and annoyed by your contemptuous tone.
“Nonsense, you existed before that witch put her claws on you,” you said confidently, sighing and closing your eyes. “She doesn't know you as well as I do, she doesn't know what you're really like.”
“I'm sick, (Y/N), I'm not right in the head, you know that. Everything... everything she says affects me and... I lose control, it's not the first time it's happened to me but, but not like that, not with you, you're the only thing I don't want to hurt, amore mio...”
“Donna, your only problem is that you let your problems devour you,” you affirmed, getting closer to her trembling body. “You're not alone anymore, my love... you don't have to suffer in silence. I'm with you.”
“I-I know but sometimes it's...” the brunette said, about to shed a tear.
“Too much, I know,” you finished, gently grabbing her waist. “Look, it's true that you were rough with me, that you hurt me, but I've forgiven you, my love, I know you won't do it again. Donna, you're sweet, tender, loving... you're not like that, you don't have to be like that if you don't want to, do you understand? No one can control your feelings, no one has to tell you how you are or how you should act, much less that stupid priestess.”
“It's not about that, (Y/N), if I can't control myself...”
“Who tells you that you're not capable of doing it? Her?” you asked in a more serious tone, clinging to her body. “No, honey, that's not true. You're a wonderful woman and I know you would never hurt me, I know...”
“I already did,” Donna sighed, letting herself be hugged, but reluctant though. “I-I don't want to do it again so... you should... you should...”
“Ugh, Donna, you're so stubborn,” you protested amused, shaking the brunette. “I want to make love to you, I like making love to you. I don't want us to give up on this because some bitch has put it in your head that you're not capable of controlling yourself. It's not like that; you know it's not like that, Donna.”
“I-I... Io...” she stammered, unable to refute your arguments. “I like making love to you too, (Y/N), and... I want to do it, but...”
“If you say again that you don't want to hurt me, I'll smash one of your dolls right on your head, is that clear?” you threatened amused, softly kissing her lips. “My love... you have control of your life, of your actions, and you said it, you would never hurt me, right?”
Donna shook her head slowly, letting herself fall into your arms.
“Never, never, never…” she repeated in your ear, grabbing your face with both hands. “Ti amo…”
“Mm, me too,” you said, blushing surely due to that forced abstinence. “Well, since everything is clear… sit down,” you ordered, pointing at the chair. “I want you to make me yours, now.”
“Now? But, but…” the lady protested, letting herself be dragged, being sat down with a gentle push.
“Shush, not a word,” you said, moving your underwear to the side and sitting on her lap. “Now, my love…”
“W-Well, it's, it's okay…” she whispered, noticing how your hand attacked her again. “(Y/N)…”
“We're anxious, aren't we?” you joked, grabbing her incipient erection and freeing it from its prison, positioning it at your entrance.
“S-Sì…” she confessed, letting herself be carried away by your movements.
“Ah… Gods…” you moaned as you felt her inside you gently, riding her very slowly, in an improvised, but satisfying act. “That's it… Donna…”
“(Y/N)…” she moaned, cornered by your hands and the irresistible movements of your hips.
“Do you want me to tell you a secret, my love?” you asked between gasps, relaxing your movements and getting closer to her ear.
“Mm…”
“I really liked when you were rough with me… when you dominated me… keep that in mind for next time, okay, my love?”
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Can you do a fic where the sister gets into a big fight with them and they say some really really really mean and hurtful things and she distances herself for weeks and they make up with a cute ending
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b11716e1a260bedbd651d1cccefb067a/ccae7c3c58d7effb-81/s540x810/7d847e3e416d30b3d4e4303d1ca6a2c47ff5b551.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/bf72d596595eb0471c5b0738fe5c50bb/ccae7c3c58d7effb-c0/s540x810/f173ed8d99f749718262d0e2366e13542f018544.jpg)
“Silent Echoes”
Sturniolos x sister
Warnings : none
Being the only sister to three loud, chaotic brothers—Nick, Matt, and Chris—was never easy, but Y/N loved them more than anything. They were her best friends, her protectors, her partners-in-crime. But sometimes, they could be the absolute worst.
It all started on a random Tuesday. Y/N had been feeling off all day—school had been stressful, she had a fight with her best friend, and she was just overwhelmed. When she got home, all she wanted was some peace.
Instead, she walked into the living room to find her brothers shouting over each other, fighting about something stupid as usual.
“Can you guys keep it down?” she muttered, tossing her bag on the floor.
“Relax, it’s not that deep,” Chris said, barely sparing her a glance.
“I’m serious,” she snapped. “I have a headache, and I just—can you all shut up for five minutes?”
Nick rolled his eyes. “God, you’re always complaining.”
“Yeah,” Matt added. “You act like everything revolves around you. Newsflash: it doesn’t.”
That stung. “Are you serious? I barely say anything compared to you guys!”
Chris scoffed. “Oh, please. You’re always in a mood. If you’re not whining, you’re mad at us for no reason. It’s exhausting.”
Y/N’s face burned. “Maybe I’m mad because you guys never take me seriously! You treat me like some annoying little kid—like I don’t matter!”
“Maybe if you weren’t so sensitive all the time, we wouldn’t have to,” Nick shot back. “God, no wonder nobody wants to be around you.”
Silence.
The words hit her like a slap. She felt her throat tighten, her heart drop. None of them realized how deeply they’d just hurt her.
Y/N swallowed the lump in her throat, forcing herself to stay calm. “You know what?” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I am annoying. So I’ll stop bothering you.”
With that, she turned and walked out.
— ✩ —
She didn’t talk to them for days. Days turned into weeks.
At first, she thought they’d apologize immediately. But they didn’t. They carried on like nothing happened, and that hurt even more.
She stopped joining them for late-night drives. She ignored their texts. She started spending more time in her room, in the backyard, anywhere but near them. And the more time passed, the more they started to notice.
Nick missed her sarcastic comebacks. Matt missed her movie nights. Chris missed her stealing his hoodies even when she had her own. The house felt emptier without her laughter, without her voice adding to their usual chaos.
It wasn’t until a few weeks later, when she declined their invite to get ice cream—her favorite—that they realized just how badly they had messed up.
— ✩ —
One evening, Y/N was in her room when there was a knock at her door.
“Go away,” she muttered, expecting them to leave like they had the past few weeks.
But they didn’t. Instead, the door creaked open, and all three of them stood there, looking… guilty.
Chris held a stuffed bear in his hands, Nick had a pint of her favorite ice cream, and Matt was holding a blanket—her blanket.
“What are you doing?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“We’re making it up to you,” Matt said softly.
She crossed her arms. “Took you long enough.”
Chris sighed. “We were stupid. Really, really stupid. And we didn’t realize how much we hurt you.”
“You do matter, Y/N,” Nick added. “More than anything. We were jerks, and I’m so sorry.”
Chris stepped forward, setting the bear on her bed. “We missed you. Like, a lot. The house is too quiet without you.”
Her heart softened. She wanted to stay mad. She wanted to make them suffer a little longer. But looking at their guilty faces, their awkward stances, and the way they were practically begging for her forgiveness… she sighed.
“You guys really suck at apologies,” she mumbled.
“But did it work?” Matt asked with a hopeful grin.
She rolled her eyes, but a small smile tugged at her lips. “Yeah… it worked.”
The boys immediately tackled her into a hug, squishing her between them in the warmest, tightest embrace.
“Never shutting you out again,” Chris mumbled.
“Never saying anything that dumb again,” Nick added.
“You’re stuck with us forever, sorry,” Matt teased.
Y/N laughed, feeling the weight of the past few weeks lift off her shoulders. “Yeah, yeah. I love you guys too.”
And just like that, the Sturniolo triplets and their sister were whole again.
#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo#matt stuniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sister sturniolo#sturniolo series#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut
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"Well sure I have but they always wears black and dull colors which is normal to them, not like you guys" Fizz would say something to Blitzø and his I.M.P gang if they suddenly starts wearing anything overly bright. Besides they are assassins, black-white-and red is the color combination to go.
Listening the trio's thoughts on the weekend get away. At least Chaz was fully on board with the getaway plan. And exactly it is supposed to be fun and relaxing time with people you love the most plus Ozzie who needed a break on everything, especially Fizz, after what happened yesterday. It would have made Fizz raise a hell if they went and declined this little offering of an apology. "Like I said, it's a base. I don't think you can win an actual apology and trust back with money and gifts. And none of us are in the right mindset yet for me to start apologizing right away. Bet we would have a fight with the cowboy within minutes, no offense or anything" he was halfway joking but then again knew it would be true. Fizz himself was pissed that Blitzø was brought up at his face suddenly, belittling him as the cowboy did. Robo saying that it was Ozzie's turn to hear this all which made Fizz let out a desperate sigh sound. "Oh f.... sure, he'll hear about this. I mean nothing is more fun than telling this one thing third time~" and this is why he wanted all of them to be here together so Fizz didn't have to say the same speech over and over again.
"For reals tho, I will tell this all to Ozzie as well. What kind of start of an apology would it be if I left him out?" Fizz just shook his head in disbelief there. Ozzie were the main target of the prank anyways. The sin had it more rough than anyone else who were part of the prank, of course he would be the first one to be apologized for. The thought of it made Fizz feel a knot in his stomach, still can't believe he went and pulled a prank like that. The fact that Fizz himself thought it would be a funny one made the jester want to punch himself and hard.
"Either soon if he even decides to show up in here. Or later back at home in private" even if Fizz had booked the whole day full for himself so he would stay out of everyone's faces as much as possible he did want to tell this face to face with Ozzie, to show he did feel bad for ever pulling prank like this on him of all people. Maybe next time Fizz would think twice even listening Mammon in situations like this. . .
"So. . . bet you guys are super busy and want to continue your day~" he didn't want to keep the trio waiting, and still based on their clothing they wanted to have the day for themselves without any further delays. Fizz had said what he had to for now, and the trip was day after tomorrow for them. Day of rest before a weekend full of fun activities, sounds like a blast not gonna lie.
All three of them made a confused and somewhat offended expression, Striker narrowing his eyes "Got a few sticks of dynamite in the truck, those make smoke, want a taste of those...?" Still clearly pissed before Robo chimed in "And H-Helloo~! Ha-Have you seen your best fr-friends gangs styles? You don-don't get after them." Least for that point, Robo pointed out, since most of I.M.P seemed allegic to not wearing black somewhere
Striker and Chaz listened to the explanation of everything, at the end the cowboy huffing "Heh least your honest. Doesn't make up for it, not even close but its a start." Striker said, least giving credit where it's due, before Chaz pulled his boyfriends in close for a side hug.
"I think it's great! Haven't done a getaway like this with eachother and Ozz is pretty fun to be around! Should be a blast right guys?" Chaz said excitedly at least seeming more comfortable now, Striker grumbling
"If it's a base then fine. Your not off the hook yet, but your trying, I can give you that, just don't slack on the actual apology either." Striker said, seeming tired as well, bags under his eyes slightly showing just how bad last night was for him, Chaz nearly having the same too. Seems they didn't sleep too well.
"We'll go on it I feel, just don't skimp on you-your actual apology bro. As Strikes said. Now you just got to say all this to your boyfriend." Robo remarked, leaning into and wrapping his long arm around his partners as he gave a teasing smile at Fizz
#IC;;#rapid-as-sass-in-nation-team#April Fools 2024#Finally replied ;;#Fizz literally was not expecting he had to tell the same thing three times in one day ;;#he thought it would be over and fast but-... here he is#one apology short lol
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It’s so interesting how you use a comparator which ties into your senses to compare a moment in time to the stark difference of how you’re feeling right now, if that makes any sense ? But then when you feel that momentary nice feeling you felt in the past you realise just how different things are now, and you knew it was weird and different but you didn’t realise it’s gotten THAT bad
#honestly I’m just trying to get any puzzle piece and shove it in my heart to fit#anything at this point I just need anything to fit because I never felt whole but now I feel more like I don’t exist or I’m see through tha#being hollow#it’s like there’s nothing even there#I’m not empty I’m just not tangible at all#that’s how it feels#dora daily#can somebody just say anything#like even hi atp I don’t even know if I exist to anyone anymore#it’s like I’m at everyone’s door silently begging them to just listen to me#but everyone’s ignoring me#none of these apologies mean anything to me#apart from Neto’s#metos*#can everyone just stop like seriously STOP before I cut everyone off all at once#just stop freaking me out stop talking to me like that like I’m just there and not like I mean something#like how you treat a friend#I’m literally going insane I was this close to just cutting everyone off last night but I felt a bit better and cheery again#though now I srsly can’t#it’s better to be completely alone and having cut everyone off#than continue this. but what’s the point in even saying this like it’s a caveat. nobody even sees anything I say here / gives a damn anyway#when people disappear I check their blogs or their accounts fyi to see how they are#but such courtesies clearly don’t extend to me#the only conclusion I can come up with is that I’m not important enough.#as someone who doesn’t exactly hate people#I think I hate everyone. I hate everyone for leading me on to believe I might be possibly somewhat important#I might just wait for my dad to start pressuring me into marriage again because I’m honest to God so lonely I’d do anything atp#I just need something real and someone that won’t go and if I get married I can somewhat#trap somebody so they’ll be forced to give somewhat of a damn abt me#even if they don’t love me it’s okay or heck even if they abuse me at least I’d have someone
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Honestly a sorry from Curly would mean nothing to Anya.
I’m not saying she wouldn’t want to hear it, it’s a hollow vindication. She told him and he couldn’t hear her. He saw it and he couldn’t understand it. They both experienced it and he should apologize that it took that for him to get it. She already knows he’s sorry but what’s the point if neither of them can do anything about it? It’s earnest but at the same time what she wants an apology for is what Curlu can’t apologize for.
He can’t be sorry for what happened to her even if he is. Even if he carries that guilt with him until the day he dies it’s not all his to bare. The most heinous parts aren’t his weight even if he tries to balance it. A part of her bitterness is the fact he can’t be sorry for it all. She can’t just direct it all towards him even if she wants to. She was failed in so many ways by all of them. It hurts with him the most cause he had the power but they all did nothing in the grand scheme of things.
The one person who should apologize would never and could never, it’s not something you can be sorry for. She wants an apology, she needs one but what would it fix?
#my two scents on apology scenerios cause like if she heard it I think it would just make it worse#likes she’s happy in a bitter sweet way like I don’t know why people need Anya to be actively resentful and mean about it like that’s nots#satisfying none of this story is satisfying in anyway shape or form and I want to write scenerios that really aren’t that like it’s real#it’s raw it’s in character for her to sort of forgive Curly but not accept his apology cause it’s worthless and that’s the tragic part of i#in a world where they escape and he apologizes he’s forever haunted by the fact she’ll never accept his sorry and she’s forever haunted by#the justice she didn’t really receive like for those that like them together it’s alway the unspoken bitterness of all his actions carry an#act of apology while she will never accept it as such cause he can’t say it and do anything about it nor what he’s apologizing for she can#learn to forgive him for the mistake understand the circumstances even if she doesn’t agree or wishes he’d known better but it’s forgivenes#based on she wouldn’t do that to herself to hold it against him forever he’s paid for his sins in watching the effects of his inactions and#having so much taken just like her but it didn’t have to happen and that’s why she can never accept the sorry#there shouldn’t be a reason he has to be sorry but there is idk they are so much to me like platonically#the only way I pair cishet straights together#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#captain curly#curly mouthwashing
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just realized (one of) the reason(s) why i’m so attached to odysseus and athena’s relationship in epic…they remind me of me and my (ex) bestie
#epic the musical#athena <3#odysseus#personal#she was athena. i was odysseus. i alw looked up to her sm#there was also a huge clash in ideals#we also said things we didnt mean (and couldnt take back)#she walked out first but (seemingly) moved on quick. i held on to that anger super tight#we spent 2 years in the same class treating each other like strangers. eventually i reached out first#and we started talking again#we reconciled but our relationship was alw pretty stilted and awkward. there’s none of the sisterhood that we once shared#i think abt all this smtimes on late winter nights like these#like could i have done anything better#why tf am i venting on tumblr im such a weirdo#oh yeah. this was prolly why i was a lil bummed w ody & athenas ending at first. i expected a hug and lots of apologies#and for that connection to kick in again#im projecting so hard#but well you cant snap a bandaid over a bullet hole and call it a day#this is also why i cant listen to ichbw much its way to personal#some wounds cant close right but its ok#oh yeah. she (the girl) liked me romantically and i did not reciprocate. haha#thats prolly why i also enjoy unrequited love trope w ody & athena#okay enough jesus
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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Me wanting to join Les4Les because I thought it would help motivate me to date again after 3 years of coming from an absolute traumatizing relationship and dont want to burden my future partner with extra things a partner normally wouldn't deal with:
😃 omg this is exciting! Maybe I'll meet someone and fall in love!!
Some Les4Les: bisexuals always whine and are all cheaters ,they never actually want to be with a girl and they're-
Some Bisexuals: lesbians are creeps and just insecure yall have small egos , biphobic and-
Some Les4Les: no you're-
Some bisexuals: no you're-
Me and literally everyone else who understands it's not supposed to be about belittling the other sexuality:
#good lord wtf is going on over there#some of yall think bi women and none strict wlw owe yall an apology or pass to be mean#and some of yall think lesbians being hurt by dealing with internal rejection or anything that has to do with men is a personal attack#<- by that im not talking about d lesbians that say disgusting things to by women bcuz of men or being bi like thats disgusting n not ok#cuz obviously that would be an attack on bi im talking about those who just have a preference or other reasons whether trauma or not#sorry on tags i meant bi not by but autocorrect anyway#i wanna make out with a girl soooo bad so if anyone is interested in actually being very caring AND VERY NICE plz let me know#les4les#bisexual#biphobes dni#lesphobes dni#lesbian#wlw#rant#like wtf
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made a birthday post for my grandma yesterday since no one else remembered it and immediately afterwards my sister made one and really drilled in hard about how she named my newest niece after her. and idk. I’m still upset. I’ve been crying off and on about it because like. I know it wasn’t right but my grandma would tell anyone who listened how I was her favorite grandchild (and tbh I think besides it just being true she did that bc she knew how awful my mom and sister were to me) and would brag on me constantly. and my sister did nothing but talk about how annoying my grandma was and say the worst things about her right before she died. but yet she loved her so much that she forgot her birthday 2 years in a row so I mean clearly she just had to take the name I fought with her over during her first pregnancy. I’m so glad I’ve had my cousin throughout all of this because otherwise I’d feel legitimately insane. She’s been amazing at reminding me how much grandma loved me and helping reinforce that grandma and I DID have an agreement that she wanted ME to name my daughter after her if I ever had one. Everything my sister does though feels so spiteful. Like I love my niece so much and it just sucks that I can’t even spend time with her without being reminded of how much my sister wants to hurt me. I don’t blame the baby though. Like it hurts and makes interacting with her a little difficult but she’s innocent. And the thing is I wouldn’t have even minded if she named her that out of genuine love and respect for my grandma but I know she didn’t. From not letting anyone be with my grandma in the hospital when she died to putting her ashes in my fucking mailbox to telling me that my grandma hated me and I didn’t do enough for her to telling me how awful I was for taking a week off to implying I should’ve been there even tho she lied to me about her being in the hospital to withholding photos she promised me of her to ruining my grandmas house (she lets my 5 year old niece write all over the walls and keeps a million fuckin farm animals like ducks and chickens and turkeys inside when grandma didn’t even let dogs in) to asking the preacher at her funeral to say some pointed remarks about me being no contact with my mom to now using her daughters name as a direct slight against me I can’t help but feel like all she wants to do is weaponize my dead grandma against me without even worrying about how disrespectful she’s being to her as long as it hurts me. I haven’t even tried talking to about my nieces name because after confronting her about my grandmas passing I know it’ll do nothing to actually remedy anything and will just lead to even more explosive fights where I know she’ll just double down on saying things she know will hurt me. And I don’t want to argue about my grandma. I don’t want to use her memory for something disrespectful. It doesn’t feel right and doesn’t feel like honoring her in any way that she’d appreciate. I just want her to be respected. I want her name to be used for something kind and loving instead of spiteful. Because ultimately that’s what she was. My kind and loving grandma. Not a tool to cause arguments and tension. She was always the mediator in the family and I can’t help but think how disappointed she’d be to know her passing has been used in the way it has to further drive a shift in the family.
#idk it’s all just a lot and I wish more than anything I had my grandma back right now#I know she was a lil grouchy towards the end and probably did say some things that were a little rude about me but she was literally dying#and I can’t be upset with her for that. especially because she always apologized and made sure to tell me she loved me and that she didn’t#mean none of it. that things were just getting to her and she shouldn’t act like that#and I understand that and know it to be true but when my sister uses the things my grandma said out is frustration#or things I know she never would have said about me at all to hurt me. it works#like I can’t count how many times my grandma told me word for word that I was ‘the only one who wasn’t mean to her and was patient’#or that my sister ‘didn’t know how to wash her right’ so it was always a ‘treat’ when I did (which I did often after hearing that)#or that I was the only who’d make/get her food that she liked to eat and spoiled her#idk I could keep on but it feels like I’m trying too hard to justify what my sister said wasn’t true#idk maybe i just want a reminder. somewhere to look at in case I ever doubt myself again
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it's so fun when the people who took everything from you claim to be the real victims. like, y'all want to dump a years-long friendship in a dumpster fire just cause you're in a romantic relationship and that's the only thing that matters to you, go fucking ahead. but don't pretend to be the victim when you were the one who destroyed it.
you don't get to take literally everything from me and claim that you were the real victim when the only thing you didn't take was the skin off my bones.
#sunbun speaks#i keep having nightmares/memories of the 3-ish people who literally left me with nothing but the clothes on my back#and kept asking for more because it wasn't enough#or the fact that every single one of them basically turned into whoever their partner wanted them to be and would ditch their own parents#if their partner told them they didn't like them anymore#using me as a scapegoat whenever they had negative feelings and accuse me of being the source instead of a voice of reason#or just straight up getting pissed at me when i wasn't going to play their toxic game#and by the end of it all i had nothing: no clothes or any of my stuff no money nowhere to go and no friends#they destroyed my life while i was barely a blip in theirs#people who grew up with wealthy parents are fucking pricks#because yeah that's another thing they all had in common other than being codependent af: they all grew up with upper-middle class parents#they just took and took and took and tossed me aside#cause btw it's really hard to get back a lifetimes worth of stuff in only a few years with no money#i still remember everything they took from me and not just material possessions#and in the end they wanted me to apologize to them for being inadequate in filling my role as emotional punching bag#only for none of them to feel any remorse and get mad at me for implying they did anything that i didn't deserve#even looking at my life now i only have my partner and my kids#as much as i try i can't fix the fact that I'm autistic which means i will always struggle with human interaction#so it's not like it's easy to make friends#especially not friends who don't religiously devote themselves at the alter of toxic monogamy and view anyone else as 'extra' and disposable#in a matter of three years those three people took everything from me and despite it being 6 years later i am STILL recovering what i lost#how can you destroy someone's life who never did anything to you and still consider yourself the victim
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my toxic trait is if ur mad at me i’ll do my best to be understanding and recognize where i was wrong and apologize but if ur still mad at me after that i will go fucking crazy
#sorry SKDKDKS i’m the worst#its just that i never hold grudges#and i can see past the effect of someone’s actions to their true intentions#if i feel they didn’t mean any harm AND they’ve apologized then i’m like alr !! we’re cool unless it happens again/multiple times#in which case obviously there’d be a bigger issue#and i know its not right but i just expect other people to be the saaaame#like yes i made a mistake but it was never my intention to hurt u and i said sorry many times and i MEANT it#wdym u ‘still need time to think’ LMAO#i haven’t even been given a chance to explain and discuss the situation w her properly 😭#we agreed we need to talk but she’s just not saying anything and i feel like i have this horrible dark cloud following me around#anyway none of this is to victimize myself lol i know i messed up#but come on are we going to sacrifice a whole year and a half of being close friends over a mistake#esp when it’s the first and only mistake i’ve made in regards to this particular friendship#i said sorry i will say it a million more times just come onnn 😭😭#t#n e way sorry for being . like this lmso
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It's giving the...main character syndrome. like who tf does she think she is??? Y/N???
NO OH MY GOSH ANON. LET ME TELL YOU. LET ME FRIGGIN TELL YOU.
#okay so i need to give her a name. we will call her yn bc she is just so different and quirky and not like other girls#so i haven't liked yn since freshman year (am a junior) because she seemed incredibly pretentious. she has like awards n stuff for this#asian advocation group and tons of other stuff which is GOOD. but she has a tendency to brag and be very cocky about it.#AND YOU KNOW WHAT. IT WASNT JUST ME. MY FRIEND FROM SEMINAR who we will call Pie for certain reasons (her name rhymes with it) AGREED WITH#ME ABOUT YN BEING COCKY! and Pie and Yn are in the same group since they are both Asian and ppl at my school typically hang out w their rac#is that racist? like there's an asian boys group and asian girls group. but it's only asians and white people; but it's weird since a large#portion of my school is hispanic. i dunno WEIRD SIDE TANGENT BUT BASICALLY THEY ARE IN THE SAME GROUPS; RIGHT? so Pie was agreeing that Yn#can be very pretencious; and I'm then like#oh i don't really like her for the cheating stuff she did with Mac (fake name) and how she got#him to basically cheat on his girlfriend“ and Pie says ”oh well Mac started it; but Yn lead him on for over a month while he had a gf#and they kept this going until Yn decided to break things off; WHICH MEANS MAC'S NOW EX GIRLFRIEND NEVER KNEW ABOUT ANYTHING W MAC N YN!#also allegedly according to my boyfriend; Yn was doing homework as Mac was yk DOING it to Yn and she just like... LET IT HAPPEN WHILE HE HA#A GIRLFRIEND. HELLO? and when Yn ends it; he's like “omg but yn... i love you...” “no. i'll only hurt you; if you're with me it'll only hur#uh okay 25k words slowburn vibes.... ANYWAYS so she takes screenshots and sends them in a SUPER big groupchat with 20+ people (including Pi#and my boyfriend) and Pie (who was childhood friends with Mac) called her out saying how it was also kind of her fault for being with a guy#who was in a relationship; but she got super defensive about it. and this same thing happened AGAIN 2ish months later with a girl Jas and#her boyfriend Ben; where Yn was friends with both but basically was emotionally cheating with Jas; leading them to break up; and then she#GOT WITH JAS. HELLO???? WHAT??? and they r still together. none of them talk to Ben even though Yn said they were 'all cool and friends'#SUREEEE GIRL SURE. KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT. and Pie called her out on this AGAIN since Pie is friends with Ben and Jas too but Yn got#defensive AGAIN! BC SHE KNOWS ITS A SHITTY THING TO DO! and Pie doesn't really like her because of it and when Pie told me all of that I wa#in shock. because Yn was trying to play the victim in the situation with Mac when she sent the messages to the gc; and tried to do that AGA#N BUT IN THE SITUATION WITH JAS LIKE NO U ARE JUST A CRAPPY PERSON ! and appearently she is SO toxic she was nearly kicked out from a#leadership role at my school's asian pacific islander club or something! like girl WAKE UP! but that's not all; so i didn't know she was#known for going for people who had partners; yet still didn't like her; and last school year (about 4 months ago) my boyfriend got a 'reall#bad haircut' (i thought it was cute; but everyone made fun of him ) and Yn RAN around our campus trying to find him to make fun of him..#like wtf that's so weird and she will post screenshots of their convos on her story and be like 'omg he's bullying me!' when he's being dry#and did that in the gc (this time; i'm in it!) and i crashed out but my bf was apologizing and saying he told her to not post anything but#she didn't listen or something i guess. and sometimes when they are wearing similar outfits she'll post on her story that they are matching#um girl he has a wife and 12 kids. back the FUCK off. and i told him to distance himself from her or set boundries cuz i don't like that n#it makes me uncomfy; so he did which is good! but i still don't like Yn. she is a major pick-me IMO and very two-faced and covers her
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#lee’s bullshit#last post of the evening bc I do need to go to bed but#I’ve been so stressed since coming home that I lost this bracelet at the airport bc like I couldn’t find it anywhere and knew I packed it#but haven’t seen it since leaving school + have looked everywhere at home#but j checked my backpack pocket and it was in there. bright green silicone. nearly cried.#like I have so few physical memories of my best friend bc we were so young when we were still close .#And by none I mean like there’s two photos I have from my mom of us together and that’s it. plus the one from his funeral.#and I have been taking such good care of this bracelet since getting it and making sure not to lose it that I genuinely almost cried#bc like. I don’t have anything else really.#There’s nothing physical from days of and grass and snow but lost sensations and closed up splinter holes.#so even tho the lettering is all faded off it doesn’t matter bc i still have one last rope to hold on to when he swings away.#I’ve been very sad about this again. not rlly an apology just a statement. just very unprecedented waters for me.#i have work that day and im rlly not sure if im going to be able to manage. we’ll see.#anyway . be safe. sleep well. take care of yourselves.#good night
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