#none of the batfam are actually there

[izukuer]

characters have to be a little bit awful in ways that you cant defend. its good for the ecosystem. your honor he did do that. He did in fact do that

[dukeofthomas]

I hate the insistence in pushing Jason into the batfamily.

If he doesn't wanna go to dinner, he doesn't have to. If he doesn't wanna hang out with them, he doesn't have to. If he doesn't want to see them, he doesn't have to. If he doesn't even want to contact them, he doesn't have to.

It's so annoying to read fic and always see it presented as his Family Knows Better. Jason is just being silly by not realizing how much they love him and he just needs to let them break into his home and comms and life because they want him there.

[haveihitanerve]

The Bats all know and have perfected the art of looking positively tastefully slutty

Bruce: the Og dress slutty, wears too tight shirts, unbuttoned dress shirts, tight tight tight pants, low on the hips, show off hip bones, sometimes wears a thong to reveal it gracing his hips

Dick: took his lessons from Bruce, wears very low cut shirts, extraordinarily tight pants to cup his ass just so, knows the perfect angle to lean down next to someone so they not only look down his shirt but also can easily see his ass. Wears dresses when he can, but bruce refuses letting him go out in a maid costume, says its too far(in reality he did it once and alfred was so proud and yet so disapproving and bruce does not want high society to look at his son the way they looked at him when he showed up in a maid outfit because thats his son and who cares that hes an adult no fucking way are they leering at him)

Jason: perfectly styled hair that just tempts people to ruffle it, or already ruffled perfectly fucked to satisfaction hair. Wears suit jackets without shirts, sometimes even wears a bra to perfectly cups his fat chest just right, all the boys have got dat ass, wears tight pants just like his brother and father, also wears shorts that are too tight in the groin and show off his massive thighs, knows the proper way to sit that he shows all of it off, wears his pants low on his hips as well just like his dad. Also wears dresses when he can, is also not permitted to wear a maid or waitress outfit

Tim: is the only one in the family not gifted with an absolute massive ass, but has found ways to show it off but wearing performer tights, doesn't even wear underwear to most social events to really show the definition, wears nice, form fitting shirts that perfectly show off his lithe body, always has a flirty smile pasted on, hair ruffled just so. Actually managed to get out of the house wearing a maid outfit, but bruce caught him before he entered the main room and gave him his jacket.(tim has never seen his father so afraid and so possessive at a gala)

Steph: wears the sluttiest dress she can find, it is her goal to traumatize high society. Low cut dresses, without backs, thin straps that she has bruce and alfred sew because while she wants to flaunt her body in front of the elite she does not want someone to be able to rip the dress off her easily, once wore a dress that was literally two strips of fabric over her chests and between her legs, that was it. If shes not wearing a dress shes wearing a tasteful one piece that has it in all the right places and bedazzles guests only to be purposefully caught making out with a waiter and then telling a reporter that he was the most appealing out of everyone in the room. Right in the face of twenty high elite rich men. (bruce has never been prouder and jason high fived her)

Cass: is the most modest out of everyone in the family, wears dresses that are nice and subtle and that she can still kick ass in, also wears suits but not that often because then all the boys get pouty because she wears it better than them

Babs: doesn't go as extreme as Steph(especially not when her actual father is attending) but does wear skimpy dresses and suits, learned the proper ways to use her body to get what she wants from dick. Traded outfits with dick at a gala once as a challenge to see who could get more numbers, dick won but only by four people

Damian: (aged up, please, hes a minor) when hes older damian follows in his fathers and siblings footsteps, wearing the proper amount of makeup and mascara to bat his eyelashes just so at people, has perfectly the purr of charm from bruce, wears absolutely flawless outfits at all times, smirks but in a charming way, hair has to be styled properly not just for the sex appeal but also because if its not it could kill someone, also rocks the lean down to get someone staring at both his chest and ass

This does A) help with their cover (although bruce has pointed out that nightwing dresses slutty as well so dick might not want to dress that way as dick grayson but dick promptly turned him down, as did most of society and his other children, because “dick grayson is an icon and his body deserves to be seen”- steph) but also B) helps them protect the people working at Galas, so many times has bruce thrown himself in someones lap and pressed his pecs together to draw their eyes away from the poor server man they were trying to grope, Dick has perfected the art of intercepting people trying to dance with waiters and dancing instead(he once pulled out tim’s pole and started pole dancing so the poor girl could get away) steph is absolutely masterful in her bending down and flipping her hair to draw everyone's eyes to her and not to the girl in the corner who just had her shirt ripped off by a drunk sleazeball (bruce himself had to be held back from beating the man into next week, but steph and cass did it for him)

Anyway this was all for gits and shiggles, hope you enjoyed, this is how i imagine the bats dressing at Gala’s to keep up their dumbass fake personas(there are so many better covers but once bruce decided on it everyone fell into line behind him) i added the girls just for funsies because they deserve dressing like it too and yeah. Take all of it or none of it or some of it idc, just don't take it seriously. 🙃

[windybluebelles]

I love Duke Thomas

I luv him :3

He is silly

Sorry the demons anyway

Duke is a fun character that people (fanfic writers, official writers, etc) never really seem to take advantage of. I’m not here to complain about writing tho I’m here to rant.

Duke is the perfect age where you can make him friends with the characters directly older than him (Tim’s gen/Young Justice) and the ones directly younger than him (Damian’s generation, eg Jon Kent, Shazamily maybe) and I think more people should write about him just being the middle of the youngest kids

Like, Jason and Cass are middlest of the oldest, Duke is middlest of the youngest.

Duke showing up to titans tower, charming young justice, insulting Tim to his face, stealing something, bringing up the Robin gang, and leaving. Once Tim and Duke have known eachother for a while, Tim complains about Duke the same amount he does Damian! Possibly worse because Duke never does anything actually malicious! He’s just Tim’s little brother!

Duke going into Damian’s room when his friends are over and embarrassing him. He’s the designated chaperone when the kids want to go out somewhere. Walking with Dami to and from school. I imagine they play minecraft together

So I want Damian to have one sibling relationship where he isn’t a baby, sue me! No one really brings up the fact that them two are the only of the kids who really live at home, they are sort of forced to put up with eachother. Damian also doesn’t really have a reason to hate Duke, I imagine he’s mostly got over his ‘heir to the bat’ nonsense by the time he gets fostered and, even if he hasn’t, Duke doesn’t really want Bruce as his dad! Duke is in no way competition

I want to see Damian insulting Duke, biting him, hitting him, awful awful shit and everyone is like

‘Oh no! Why is Dami evil again 😣’

But then Duke just yells back at him! 20 minutes later their seen on the couch sharing a pack of skittles! I want one normal sibling relationship in this family!

[erebosblue]

I don’t think we talk enough about Dick’s parentification trauma.

like yeah he’s the eldest daughter and definitely takes care of his siblings more like a parent than a brother but also.

he basically had to raise himself. like Bruce was more his partner in crimefighting than his father (closer to a brother than a parent) and while Alfred definitely raised him more, Dick was still largely operating like an adult while Robin.

no wonder he became desperate for independence. he already felt like an adult. being treated like a kid when you’ve been taking care of yourself for years can feel infuriating. (I should know.)

I’m aware in most canons he is an adult when he becomes Nightwing, but that’s still at 18/19 and doesn’t change my point.

[tailsfromthecrypt]

All these DPxDC fics and not ONCE is one of the Batman taking Danny to eat a Taylor Ham, Egg and Cheese sandwich. Sacrilege.

[leoleolovesdc]

“Blah blah blah Tim Drake is sleep deprived” we’ve all heard it, but this man is a highschool dropout who’s job is to sit at WE and look pretty (no he isn’t a CEO, idk where any of you took that from), making his only responsibility the Being A Vigilante bit. However, I present to you Duke Thomas and Damian Wayne are sleep deprived, bc hear me out they are the only ones who have stuff to do both at day AND night time.

Bruce is rich, he doesn’t have a real job, same goes for Tim, Jason doesn’t have any job at all, Cass doesn’t even have a birth certificate, Steph seemingly dropped out of uni, etc.

None of them do anything besides vigilantism, but Damian has school during the day and Robin at night, Duke has school at night and Signal during the day, those mfs do NOT have time to sleep.

[ferrouswheel11]

One of those AUs where Jason is adopted later than canon, except Jack Drake is still alive therefore Tim is not a Wayne.

Jason meets Bruce Wayne when he's about 16, and next thing he knows he's living in none other than Wayne Manor.

It's just Jason, Bruce, and Alfred most of the time, but a week or so after Jason moved in Dick Grayson turns up. Jason isn't exactly one to keep up with the latest on Gotham's elite — he'd forgotten Bruce Wayne even had a ward until he wakes up one morning and finds Dick perched on the kitchen counter with a bowl of cornflakes.

Dick is nice enough. He drops in every few weeks, always asks Jason about his hobbies and how school is going. There's obviously some tension between him and Bruce, but messy families are nothing new to Jason.

That doesn't explain Tim Drake, though.

He's definitely not a Wayne — a quick internet search confirmed that. In fact, Jason is pretty sure he has his own family. He doesn't have a room in the Manor, as far as Jason knows. Alfred doesn't drive him to school like he does Jason, and Tim doesn't join them at mealtimes except when Dick or Alfred ask him to.

But somehow, Tim is always underfoot. He lurks around the Manor at all hours, giving Jason a heart attack every time he rounds a corner to find those icy gray eyes leveled at him. He's polite in the same way that Bruce sometimes is: posh pleasantries and a bright smile, then a vague excuse about needing to find Bruce or Dick and a disappearing act that would make Houdini jealous.

Jason tries prying Alfred about the kid's deal — Tim's the neighbor boy, he's told. Jason calls bullshit on that — he's already snuck up to the roof of the Manor, and there's not another house around as far as the eye can see. For that matter, there's only one road leading to the Manor, and Jason could count on one hand the number of times he's see Tim pull up on a bike, or a skateboard, or in Alfred's car. Can Tim teleport? Is he secretly living in the basement, scavenging table scraps for food? Is he Bruce’s illegitimate son? His underage personal assistant? A demon bound to do his bidding?

Who the fuck is Tim Drake?

[weewoow-20706030]

Tim and Damian get along in the way they would sooner shoot themselves and each other before they say they even tolerate each other. But Damian comes into Tim's window at like- 3am so they can watch the newest episode of a show they both love to hate, or they would have random really deep conversations on the floor of Tim's apartment just to never bring it up again.

[quadrantadvisor]

tl;dr: I think being trapped in a time loop would fix him

[Plain text under the cut]

I read like two different jason time loop fics which both featured jason coming to the cave for help or resources when people didn't expect him there which makes me think that the loop helped make jason aware that he could come to his family for help and anyways jason gets stuck in a time loop shortly after becoming the Red Hood bruce is aware or at least suspects his identity but he hasnt communicated that to anyone else yet so for a couple of loops jason tries to figure out what's going on but all of his league contacts are either unhelpful or unreachable within the time frame and he gets frustrated and he spends a while just. living out all of his sadistic fantasies he gets to do every dramatic reveal, he gets to kill each one of them, and they're spitting and defiant and telling him he isn't the jason who died but after a while it stops being satisfying and he gets desperate for a way out he knows by this point that bruce hasn't told anyone about him, so his new plan is to talk to one of them away from bruce and just lie Dick is the obvious choice, and that's how jason finds out that dick has been hallucinating him while he's been gone he is not very useful. it's really hard to convince him that jason is legit and then he just gets really emotional and doesn't pay attention to the time loop at all also jason feels really weird about it

so he tries tim. he's like. okay. he doesn't know you're the red hood. you just have to be civil to him for one loop and when it turns out he can't do anything you try something else but tim is also like. really emotional about him apparently? but when jason tells him there's a time loop he takes it really seriously tim is like "why didn't you go to bruce?" and jason is like "i tried that. when he finds out he makes it worse" which is a very plausible thing for someone in a time loop to say so tim believes him Tim's like "obviously i have to verify" and jason is thinking to himself what a waste of time this all is. but tim gets his permission to bring babs in on things and that's how jason finds out about oracle and the clocktower so thats useful at least they use babs equipment for blood tests and tim grills jason on things only he would know and jason is like. hey. why do you know any of that stuff and by the time that tim is satisfied that Jason is who he says he is and that what he says is happening is happening the day is basically over and jason is like well thanks for nothing

and Tim's like, oh, sorry, this is just the setup. next time just tell me this timeloop code, I'll know that I trusted you enough to give it to you so I'll listen to whatever you say which actually does work to Jason's surprise, tim just asks him how many times and what they've already tried and they get down to business tim always has a freakout over jason being alive but that freakout can come at different times of the day depending on how jason plays it jason is still mad at tim and frequently snappy with him but it takes a few loops for him to just yell at tim that he's the red hood and he's been killing people and he was planning on killing tim (not strictly true originally but like. he has done it, so) and tim is like. hm. that makes it pretty personally dangerous for you to know my time loop code, since it makes me just drop everything and listen to whoever says it. but also i think you do need help so i guess I'm still glad you have it. and jason is like WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

anyways on a later loop tim convinces him to sneak into the bag cave for the tech and bruce catches them there and jason is like well that's this loop shot but bruce is just like ……. jason? 🥺 you came home? anyways the fic is about jason realizing that he never needed to do all that shit, and actually he finds it rather distasteful, and he can just. go home. if he wants on the last loop he has to like leave gotham to go stop whatever is causing this and it takes all day so he doesn't even talk to them so he has to make the real choice to start up relationships with all of them for keeps and by that point he's experienced so much time loop violence that the first thing he says to bruce is, I'm not gonna kill anyone, at least for now. we can talk about the morality of it and stuff and i will legitimately discuss it with you but right now i just don't want to so that can be our truce and bruce is like, sobbing at having his kid back he uses the code on tim one last time and tim jerks to attention but Jason's like nah relax the loop is over, just wanted to say thanks for all the help

[donnatroyyyy]

Dick and Jason fighting:

Dick: you’re nothing but a scummy, worthless piece of shit! I hope you die again! You should’ve never come back in the first place!

Jason: oh yeah?! Well you’re nothing than a big fake who doesn’t deserve to be here with the family or with superheroes in general! There’s a reason why you’re the one Bruce took the longest to adopt! It’s because you’re not worth it! You’re worthless and nobody loves you!

Dick: well at least I can get my own juice box from the grocery shop! But oh no I’m Jason Todd, the favorite child because I fucking died and I need to do everything criminally because I’m rebelling! Get over yourself you ass no one thinks you’re cool!

Jason: and people think you’re cool?! With your fucking mullet phase and need to over sexualize yourself?! Yeah fucking sure, stop blowing this out of proportion it’s a fucking juicebox!

Dick: and you’re just a fucking failure but oh look at that— Bruce still loves you for some reason!

Jason: what you’re sad cuz he doesn’t love you?!

Dick: and you’re sad because you never had a real mother?

*five minutes later*

Dick, in Jason’s doorway, has done this a million times before with all his siblings: I’m going to bat burger

Jason, was contemplating burning down Dick’s apartment, and also wanted to go ask Dick his opinion on some cargos but didn’t want to be the first to cave: I’m coming with

[artxii]

Being father's day and seeing posts about Bruce mostly with Damian from DC’s artists made me think once again about how I belive many writers use Damian's introduction as Bruce being "a father", like his adopted children aren't really family, like he had to have a biological kid to finally be a father, like how it's more rare that he calls his other children "son" or "daughter" (some more than others) and niether do they, like how clearly his relationship with Damian is more of a "father-son" one than with any of his other children/"soldiers"... it's just so immensely different the portrayal of their realtionship compared to the rest and (what I believe to be) the reason is so fucked to me

and of course there's family moments with the rest and those can be great and touching but that doesn't change how, when and why do those happen (how they're used) versus the constant father-son bond he has with Damian, that's not questioned, it's always there...

(obv it depens on writer and you could even argue that it happens bc Damian sees it that way, like how he's the one choosing to call him always "father" but still how some write bruce he treats him like a son more than the others) (also this isn't Damian hate, this is a critique to writers and the idea that adopted children aren't “really family”, that'so gross and just aggravating...)

[alltheshadesofamber]

Tim Drake is NOT a chronic insomniac, he is taking a nap right now as we speak

[watchingwisteria]

tags i saw on ao3: #Jason tries to fix things and makes literally everything worse #it’s okay he’s babygirl

[himejoshiangels]

I hate you sanitized batfamily. I hate you clean cut dynamics and quickly resolved conflict through honest and open communication. I hate you erasure of tragedy and complexity and toxicity.

insane ramblings below ⬇️⬇️

[rocker-socks]

Love the idea of the Batfam somehow ending up in the Batman Beyond universe. "Whose batman here?" none of you. it's some guy named fucking Terry