tailsfromthecrypt

[tailsfromthecrypt]

[tailsfromthecrypt]

Obsessed with this energy tbh

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HELP 😭😭😭 this tweet will inspire fanfictions im sure. also i have a reputation, @gay-and-bitter immediately thought of me n sent the screenshot

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Rating Non-Zelink and Non-BotW Link Ships in Legend of Zelda Games because they don't get enough love

Malink; Malon x Link: Adorable and somewhat canon depending on who you think TP Link's parents are and what timeline shenanigans you subscribe to. Link's first non-Kokiri friend turning into his soulmate is cute and finding peace after the craziness of OoT is beautiful. Also, Malon is cute as a button. 11/10, love you, funky Horsegirl.

Ilia x Link: Pretty good but feels too much like a reskin of Malink to be really fun. People give Ilia grief for freaking out about Epona but it really isn't fucking deserved. Girl get's done dirty by the narrative and the fandom and she deserves better. Also, memory loss and falling in love all over again is absolute peak. 9/10, you deserve better, baby.

Marin x Link: A child's first taste of tragic ending and hot girls being doomed by the narrative. Very child friendly "Calypso and Odysseus" feel to this one. Still, Marin is absolutely adorable and the idea of falling in love with a literal dream is heartbreaking. 10/10, would cry like a little kid again.

Link x Ruto: Okay, hear me out, this one isn't terrible. Ruto's chld-like crush on the guy who saved her life is pretty cute and being a haughty teenager about it is pretty funny. Also, she understands they can't be together, and sends him off with her love and good wishes, which is surprisingly mature of her. I'm just saying, Ruto isn't the weirdo people make her out to be. 7/10, it still feels like entrapment

Midlink; Midna x Link: TOP TIER! BEST OF THE BEST! ABSOLUTE PEAK ROMANCE! Romeo and Juliet style star-crossed lovers from literal opposing sides of reality. Allies of convenience to friends to soulmates?! PEAK! Adorable evil goblin design for most of the game and then complete knockout reveal at the end?! ROMANCE DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE?! PEAK, I TELL YOU! PEAK! (Also I headcannon that because Midna looks like a Hylian she's considered ugly by Twili standards so Link finding her beautiful warms her heart). 20/10, best ship, best girl, best love story.

Ganlink; Ganondorf x Link: Objectively the funniest Legend of Zelda ship in existence and I will take no arguments on that. Destined enemies giving the middle finger to fate and falling in love instead? Amazing. Ganondorf hates every minute of it but he's also the happiest he's ever been with this stupid twink and he hates that too. 10/10, something something the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day.

Link x Zant: Objectively hilarious as Link is seducing his enemies into submission yet again, like any self-respecting bard, but this one feels a little too Batman x Joker like for my liking. I really ship Zant x Therapy but Midna watching her rival give up his conquering ambitions for a twink is objectively hilarious. 8/10, not great but not bad.

Got others you want me to rate? Let me know! Or better yet, rate them yourself and I'll tell you if I agree or not.

[tailsfromthecrypt]

I ended up cleaning it up. Gan gives into his impulses.

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does this make sense to anyone...

ignore that tulin's image is from totk

(meme template by @gallusrostromegalus here)

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funniest shit is going down on discord rn

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THIS DRAWING WAS MADE 700 YEARS AGO BY A 7-YEARS-OLD BOY NAMED ONFIM WHO LIVED IN NOVOGROD.

[tailsfromthecrypt]

[tailsfromthecrypt]

Tim, finally able to go sleep after solving a rough case: Alright, line up.

Cassie, Bart and Kon: *all line up and stand at attention*

Tim: When I say don’t add to the population, I mean…?

Cassie, Bart and Kon in unison: Do not get pregnant, get someone else pregnant, clone someone, give a robot or Artificial Intelligence a consciousness or mess with the time stream and accidently increase fertility rates again.

Tim, nodding in approval: And when I say don’t remove from the population…?

Cassie, Bart and Kon: Don’t kill anyone or thing that has a soul or consciousness directly or inadvertently unless through the legal system or if it’s a genuine accident, in which it is not our fault.

Tim, rubbing his eyes tiredly and yawning: If you’re going to leave the planet or time period?

Cassie, Bart and Kon: Tell you or a trusted adult.

Tim: and who is a trusted adult?

Cassie, Bart and Kon: WonderWoman, Superman, Oracle, and Batman between 1 am to 11 pm only.

Tim: good job, gold stars all round.

Cassie, Bart and Kon: YES!

[tailsfromthecrypt]

@batbirdies honestly this SOUNDS like something your Jason would say

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Nosy ass plant

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Do you ever read a fanfiction and think "that's low even for you" to the character not at the author because they're miss characterizing them because they're not it's because you know that this character would actually do that if they're desperate enough

Anyway that's me with any "rent a bf/gf " fic cause damn that's desperate

[tailsfromthecrypt]

bro LMFAOOOO

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