#non-man

[sickly-sapphic]

This was an info post on instagram and a thread on threads, here it'll be a text post.

On the exclusivity and harm that non-men vs non-women language does.

Have you heard someone say "non-man", or maybe "non-woman"? Maybe you yourself use these terms as descriptive words or to describe queer terminology, but have you ever thought about the effects of these terms and what they promote - whether intentional or not?

With the goal of making queer identities easier to describe and overall more digestible, two terms have been seen more and more often - non-man and non-woman. But these terms aren't living up to the intention, in fact they're promoting what they seek to destroy - harm towards queer people, exclusion and misinformation.

The idea of these new terms is easier description for terms like lesbian, transfem, gay, transmasc and other terms. But in reality, using these terms to define queer people excludes many, many queer people from their own community!! Nuance and complicated identities have always, and will always exist, and gender diverse people are often the victim when this fact is forgotten.

Bigender, genderfluid, genderqueer... many queer people have heard these terms, many even personally know folks who use them, yet they're forgotten and excluded in even the most basic definitions, conversations and queer language. They exist outside of the non-men/non-women binary created, and therefore don't fit under the common definitions of their genders, sexualities, etc.

Even some of the most historically important queer folks are excluded in this language. Butch lesbians can be men and still lesbians, drag queens often had a complicated relationship with gender and existed as men and women, people have bent and broken the binary for centuries!! When we ignore them, we ignore their strength and contribution to the fight for queer liberation, all in the name of digestibility for non-queers.

Queerness was never meant to be digestible, or sanitised, or easily defined. Queerness exists outside of clear defined boxes, and outside of binaries, where blending and blurring the lines is more common then existing within them. Queer language should never squish out hard to define queerness for the sake of a quick definition. We erase queerness itself when we erase weird queers.

[beyond-mogai-pride-flags]

Man NonMan Pride Flag

Man Non-man (boy nonboy, male nonmale or nonman man): someone who is man and nonman.

This includes multigender people whose genders include boy and non-boy/not boy (simultaneously or fluid), a centrigender between male and non-male genders, men who feel represented by or reclaim the term "nonmen"/non-men (and vice-versa), enboys/xoys, bxys, those with complex genders or contradictory identities, etc.

[yellowyarn]

Actually, the "F" on my passport is for faggot, not female.

[genderqueerdykes]

listen to me: you can love and support trans men and trans women at the same time. you can love and support transmasc and transfemmes at the same time. you do not have to make things into this-or-that decisions. you do not have to turn everything into us-vs-them, friend-vs-enemy, sports team ass dynamics. transfems and transmascs are not at opposite ends of ANYTHING, and we will never, ever be enemies or polar sides that cannot intersect or co-exist peacefully. you can support more than one type of trans person and distribute that support equally. i promise you fucking can.

[masculinerose]

A study just came out from Harvard about how gender affirming surgeries are more commonly performed on "cisgender men/boys" than transgender and gender diverse (TGD) people.

But these men/boys have gynecomastia which, if they were born with it (and the study doesn't specify), they're not just "cisgender".

They're intersex.

How many times now have intersex people told us perisex (non-intersex) people to stop using the statistics of their surgeries just as trans talking points, while erasing intersex people on the whole?

We have no idea how many of those surgeries were forced, or coerced, onto these intersex people. Either from doctors, parents, or even societal pressure.

Perisex trans people need to do better. We have to be better allies to intersex people than this. It disgusts me just how much we have failed our own community, time and time again.

UPDATE

The study actually specifically excluded intersex people.

"Importantly, all surgical procedures among patients with indications of differences in sex development or patients with other medical indications for surgery (eg, cancer, injury) were excluded..."

I'm happy to see this particular study has taken care to exclude intersex people, since surgeries done on them cannot be compared to transgender surgeries, but please bear in mind that this is still just one study.

The horrible truth is that medical abuse against our intersex siblings is still heavily normalized within the medical industry. From using terms like DSD, to forcing kids and even BABIES into sexual binaries with non or dubiously consensual surgeries or HRT, these horrors that intersex people have to go through are all too normal for them. That's unacceptable.

If you have reblogged this post without this update, I urge you to delete that reblog and reblog this version instead. We can fight for intersex rights and (if you're also perisex) show our solidarity without spreading misinformation.

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn��t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[island-76]

Here's your reminder that AFAB doesn't mean that person has breasts and a vagina. That AMAB doesn't mean that person has a flat chest and a dick.

AFAB PEOPLE CAN HAVE DICKS.

AFAB PEOPLE CAN HAVE FLAT CHESTS.

AFAB PEOPLE CAN HAVE BEARDS.

AFAB PEOPLE CAN HAVE DEEP VOICES

AMAB PEOPLE CAN HAVE TITS

AMAB PEOPLE CAN HAVE PUSSIES

AMAB PEOPLE CAN HAVE CURVES

AMAB PEOPLE CAN HAVE HIGH-PITCHED VOICES

Don't let AMAB and AFAB become the progressive binary

[egophiliac]

doylist explanation for why Gidel is only in Fellow's non-idle lesson animations: probably something about space constraints and making sure two sprites in one seat aren't covering anyone else when they're not in focus

watsonian explanation for why Gidel is only in Fellow's non-idle lesson animations: he snuck in and is hiding from the teachers, don't give him away 🤫

(I've reached my limit of unsuccessful attempts at pulling them before I need to save keys for Halloween, so I've been living vicariously through youtube videos...but the fact that Gidel just pops up from under the desk to wave his arms around happily is really testing my resolve. D: I'm gonna die when they finally get to do alchemy...)

[dayangaytransman]

Transphobe: Pronouns are useless, blah blah blah.

Me: Of course they are! Mother fucker! I speak Persian!

We only have one pronoun, “او,” which you can pronounce like the “oo” in “moon.” That means I use “they/them” for your transphobic ass all the time!

Additionally, we can use “این,” pronounce like the "in" In Berlin. which means “it,” if you are nearby.

We can even omit the pronoun completely. For example, we can say “رفت,” which means someone left, and as you can see, it’s just one word.

We can write poems, and no one knows the gender of our lovers. I don’t know about you, but I think it’s pretty neat.

[agendercryptidlev]

We need to talk more about the transmasculine suicide rate.

There's a common saying that every transgender suicide is a murder, because it is the lack of acceptance in society that leads transgender individuals to commit suicide at such a high rate, this is true of trans men who have the highest suicide rate across all gender identities:

[image ID: a stylized graph depicting the percentages of considering & attempted suicide for different gender experiences.

Cisgender boy/man: 28% considered suicide, 8% attempted suicide

Cisgender girl/woman: 37% considered suicide, 10% attempted suicide

Transgender boy/man: 59% considered suicide, 22% attempted suicide

Transgender girl/woman: 48% considered suicide, 12% attempted suicide

Nonbinary/genderqueer: 53% considered suicide, 19% attempted suicide

Questioning: 48% considered suicide, 14% attempted suicide

end ID] ID by @tstomboy

Trans men are not receiving the support they need, and many of them are not surviving because of this. We need to make sure that mental health support and suicide for transgender individuals is as inclusive as possible for these transgender men who are at the highest risk.

We need to ensure trans men feel safe and welcome within the queer community as isolation is one of the more exacerbating factors on one's mental health. We need to make sure resources for victims of sexual violence are inclusive of transmasculine individuals, who face the highest rate of sexual abuse and yet often have to recloset themselves to find support. We have to love trans men because society shows them nothing but hate.

Check in with the trans men in your community, you may just save a life.

[beyond-mogai-pride-flags]

Cisn't Lesbian Pride Flag

A flag for all lesbians who are not cis.

Cisn't: an umbrella term for sex/gender modalities that are not cis.

Lesbian: being gay for women; queer attraction to women; non-man loving non-men (NMLNM); exclusively wlw (lilaen)/suptilic sapphic; or homoaffectional woman.

Based on cisn't flag by @pupyzu.

[lyss-butterscotch]

Harpy Hare, where have you buried all your children?

[genderqueerdykes]

i got to thinking about something i said... going to turn these into prints, stickers, shirts, buttons, etc. soon. thought folks might like this, i'm way more pleased with the design than i thought i would be (: consider adding more flags too!

happy pride to everyone who refuses to be cisgender (or cissexual!) in the face of a world that demands we bow to their needs. we do not owe anyone cisgenderism or cissexuality- we owe it to ourselves to be who we are instead.

you can buy these prints here on a variety of items!

[alienbycomics]

A comic collab I made with my non-binary transmasc friend LM about our experiences feeling at home in our bodies 🪷

Check out more from my amazingly talented friend LM on Instagram:

https://instagram.com/lmperttula_design?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

[sandra-6s-blog]

[cute-eeyore]

Waiting to be taken advantage of~ 💗