#non poor people read this
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I don’t like when people ask how many books you plan to read/have read this year one because I think that’s a weird relationship to have to books and two because I think even reading a chapter or a portion of something is valuable. this is especially true with non-fiction but even with fiction I think any amount you read, even if you don’t read the entire thing, is not a failure or ‘incomplete’
#I read basically exclusively non fiction and every page I read is beneficial like I’m always learning something#like my relationship to reading is often extractive and utilitarian because of school and research#but that extractive process doesn’t require reading the whole text like 99.9% of the time#I’ve only read a third of Orientalism for example but like I have a good grasp of Said’s core arguments and concepts#and like part of how I finished authoritarian personality (a 1000 page book) was by skipping & skimming sections#like the whole is not always more valuable than its components#and also like ‘I read this book to complete it’ is not an insincere way to engage with a text but I feel like it’s limiting#if that’s your primary approach to reading. Like you read a book just to say you read it#& also more petty but I think that if your argument or thesis only works if people read 100% of your book then you’re doing a poor job#of getting your point across#again obviously it’s valuable to read and process whole complete texts not dismissing that but like#I don’t find a lot of inherent value in reading a book just to complete it u know
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i stand by my conviction that the best way to read tged is by stopping in ch 401 but i do have a rant concerning ch 402 that is locked and loaded for posting and i don't know if i should wait for today's chapter to drop so you guys have the full context or if i should pretend it isn't happening and i'm talking about a hypothetical ending that definitely didn't happen
#i talk a lot <3#god. i wish you guys could listen into my brain. it feels like the highway here the way those thoughts speed by me#i'm a very fast thinker but not in a 'takes good decisions quickly'#it's more of a 'if you don't say what you're thinking right now that thought will be gone forever in two seconds'#also i talk exactly the way i write it is non stop with me once you get me going i barely stop to breathe i am exhausting#where was i going with this#ah yes should i post it now or do i wait for later tonight#this is for the people that are reading the novel you poor souls i've spoiled the novel for... i'm sorry it's too late for you
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I really do love my medieval literature and culture class, but taking said course with a room full of southern bible belt xtians might be one of the most severe tests of my patience I have ever undergone
#ch.txt#we’re reading through Dante’s Inferno rn#and my teacher uses Perusall which is this platform where they upload the text and everyone in the class can highlight and comment on stuff#normally I really like it bc it turns reading hw into an in class discussion and overall makes things more interesting#which is a wonderful thing for my ADHD-riddled skull#and you get more people’s insights#but with Inferno these idiots will highlight something describing some punishment n go ‘omg those poor pitiful pathetic non-xtians :(’#or ‘this is why i’m always so nice and kind to people who are going to hell irl’#and then I have to physically read that with my eyes#and it’s not just one asshole. it’s mULTIPLE.
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'But I have a plan to present you, between now and your wedding, with seven hounds with chains of silver and a golden apple between them — do I ever get them to you alive — so that when you race through the woods and fell your deer and see him undone and brittled there, you will bethink you of O'LiamRoe.' The words were wry, but the tone, with whatever effort, was one of lightest amusement. Her mood opened to him suddenly, the white brow patterned with fine, dry lines which had not been there before, and her eyes searching his. 'I have had dogs enough, O'LiamRoe; and lovers enough.' 'You have no friends,' he said, 'man or dog. I had thought to be a small bit of both.'
Queen's Play by Dorothy Dunnett
ROMANCE IS NOT DEAD (or at least it wasn't in the 16th century)
#for context he is a poor Irish prince who's considered to be a bit of a bumbling idiot but is actually quite clever intellectually#and she is a somewhat callous social climber at the French court#he gifted her a hunting dog once and it got immediately torn apart by the cheetah of the other man vying for her attention#he cried as he slit its throat and she laughed#also the way that this conversation is immediately preceded by talks of patriotism and Irish liberation#the way Dunnett always so expertly contrasts the way people are romantically with how they are politically and analyzes how#it all coheres with their character#just chef's kiss#dorothy dunnett#lymond chronicles#queen's play#also i know that I am leaving out A LOT in my description#but I am trying to get my non lymond mutuals to read it and I don't want to spoil the many many things that recontextualize this scene
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Every book I get closer to becoming the joker
#twist rambles#vc posting#what are we up to now? the 12th predator going after minors in 10 books lol. i did have to count because there are THAT many. it is so bad.#I'm so sick of her trying to normalize this behavior. this is not a case of well it's in the book = she endorses it but moreso that given ma#rius is in like half the books and excused from most if not all of his actions bc his victims love him THAT much. i think it does come#across as painting it in a positive light. i am just really fed up. my coping mechanism is how many times i make jo.ker references per book#but yeah. it just sucks and is very gross and like... i read lo.lita i think that is a nuanced portrayal of the topic and doesn't treat it#how she does. but she just like... I've never seen ANYONE do shit like this non-stop. it's just very odd to me how it's like ok here's the#most vile man alive and here's a 740 page book about his TRAGIC PAST!! feel bad for him!! aww poor man who has made so many people suffer!!#grooming mention#sorry i just. it's my biggest gripe behind the racism and it's just. I'm really fed up. and thankfully I'll be done soon ish but it's just.#very frustrating lol. these books make me so mad
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It's really strange to me how some people only criticize plastic through the lens of it being "vegan plastic", as if non-vegans aren't also using plastic products, including fake leather. The same with slave labor and crops. Like I've literally seen someone say how harmful vegan vegetables are in agriculture and I'm just like, do you only eat meat??? Do you not eat vegetables??? I just don't understand the whole "if you're vegan and not using animal products then you love slave labor and plastic". Consuming animal products doesn't automatically mean you're not using plastic or buying anything that was produced from slave labor in the same way that being vegan doesn't mean animals aren't getting killed somewhere along in the process of you getting food on your plate. Also, using animal products doesn't automatically mean good for the environment, cuz usually somewhere along the way there's some type of harmful process being used.
I think maybe people don't realize just how ingrained plastic is. It's not some evil vegan villain wearing head-to-toe pleather that is upholding the plastic industry. Take a look around the room and identify everything you see that is plastic. Then think about all the plastic you don't see. And is it really only vegans buying from shein, temu, forever 21, etc? For some people, that's all they can afford, but for so many other people that isn't the case. Is it really so hard to acknowledge that it's literally an exploitative, capitalistic world that has done all of this and NOT vegans? Is it so hard to acknowledge that we all take part in these harmful practices in some way because they've been so interwoven into our society that there's no way to avoid it? What is so difficult to understand about any of that? At this point, I'm half-convinced some billionaires got together and brainstormed on "Who can we blame" and then collectively decided on vegans, and unfortunately some people actually took the bait.
Also, these arguments constantly erase poor people unless it's framed in the context of the vegan diet not being affordable to everyone. Organic, sustainable, fair-trade etc etc products are not cheap. It's not only vegan products that can be non-affordable.
This whole moral superiority (and also flat-out cruelty to each other) can be on BOTH sides and it's really frustrating that the one side won't admit it. Eating meat doesn't automatically make you a saint and non-complicit in harmful practices in the same way being a vegan doesn't either.
It's just...people. People are the worst. The only way to save the planet is for us to literally go extinct.
#Also no one ever admits they eat factory farmed meat#Everyone on all of the posts and threads I've ever been on claims to get local meat#And there's just no way#I know every country has different practices but it can't be that all of the comments I've seen were from people not in the USA#Also idk why people automatically assume a vegan mentioning animal cruelty is automatically an attack on indigenous practices??#I know there's probably vegans out there who do attack them#But I've only ever seen people bring it up when literally not a single person on either side mentioned indigenous people#I think most people regardless of lifestyle choices really just want natives to be able to practice in ways they want to#I also never see meat-eaters acknowledge that some people can't have animal products#Only ever the other way around#Even before I went vegan I have not been able to have dairy since 2018#Like I need to use alternative milk#And like back when I was really poor I could barely afford to eat#If my grocery bill went over $20 in a week I had to worry about which bill I was going to have to pay late or skip over#Like my focus was on my survival and not whether something I was buying was harmful in some way#Anyway#It's just so weird to me as I read through comments on posts how people get so angry#Literally read someone say fuck you to a non-vegan person who was only trying to say there's no way to avoid harm on either side#Like what#I see much crueler stuff come from non-vegans than vegans#Even before I went vegan#Honestly people being so cruel towards vegans was a part of the reason I became one#Because I was always led to believe vegans were the worst#But as I started engaging with more posts and whatnot#I realized it was actually not true#Idk if that's happened with anyone else or not lol#And out of all the online vegan communities I've been on#Really the only shitty one was on Reddit tho I haven't checked that sub in a long time#Vegan#Personal
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I've been listening to Life in the Garden by Penelope Lively, which is essentially a collection of essays regarding gardens and what they mean to us and how they are depicted in art and writing. I thought it would be soothing and lyrical, but it's so irritating!! Who knew the topic of gardening could pack so much imperialism and British supremacy???
#like she barely did any research non-european types of gardens and regularly refers positively to things like#'taming the land' of the new world and the 'ethic cleansing' of pulling out weeds??????????#it's all very tone deaf and i know she's a very old woman but her editors should've known at least#oh also she's very classist!!#surprising when poor people come up with good gardening ideas isn't it penelope??? (it isn't but she's surprised anyways)#*ethnic#on the other hand the two books I'm reading physically are fantastic & now I'm wondering why did i choose to make a post about this one??#much to contemplate
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Ew, essays :[
I miss the old days of kindergarten when we attempted to color butterflies and ate erasers and glue
-🎁
I hated kindergarten
Essays may suck but at least now I'm not the weird kid in the corner wishing I had friends
However yes I absolutely despise essays with all my being... in fact!
Achievement unlocked: you somehow found a topic moshie hates enough and on a bad day to start them ranting in the tags...
Warning there are curse words, poor spelling, and caps locks
Sorry in advance
#asks#off topic#seriously tho i hate essays so much#one of them is already 5 pages and thats just the rough draft#i better get a fucking high pass on that shit or i will scream#shes actually making us focus on out writing process and OH HO.HO BOY IS MINE A MESS#I SWEAR ITS LIKE TRYING TO MAKE A SKETCH BUT YOU KEEP PAINTING CERTAIN PARTS BECAUSE IT HAS TO LOOK NICE#ONLY TO RELIZE OH WAIT MAYBE THAT DOESN'T GO THERE AND I SHOULD ACTUALLY SHIFT IT AROUND#OR MAYBE I COULD SWAP THIS TOO BE THAT LOOKS AWFUL AND IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE TILL ITS A RIVER OF BLOOD AND PAINT#AND SHE WANTS TO SEE MY ROUGH DRAFT??? HONNEY YOU WOULD HAVE A BETTER CHANCE AT READING THE MARIO SUNSHINE SPEEDRUN CATEGORY BACKWARDS THEN#UNDERSTANDING WHAT THE FUCK IM TRYING TO WRITE ITS WHY I HAVE TO WRITE IT ALL IN ONE GO OTHERWISE I HAVE TO LOOK BACK AND UNDERSTAND WHAT#WAS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD WHILE LOOKING THROUGH THIS MESS!!! OOOHH WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO ORGANIZE THIS WELL SHIT THATS GOING TO TAKE EVEN#LONGER YOU ALREADY GOT ME WRITING WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME STOP MUCH LESS MAKE ME SWITCH SUBJECTS TO ANOTHER ESSAY HALF WAY THROUGH OH BU#AND GUESS WHAT!???? ONE PAGE! DOUBLE SPACE! AND IM NOT GOING TO GIVEN GIVE YOU A DIRECTION TO WRITE IN JUST ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT WE LEARNED#IN THESE LAST TWO WEEKS! TWO WEEKS FUCKING HELL DO YOU KNOW HOW INDECISIVE AND FORGETFUL I AM??? MUCH LESS THE FACT KTS ABOUT ETHNICS#I DIDNT EVEN EANT TO TAKE AN ETHNICS CLASS I WANTED ETHICS I FUCKING HATE EVERY SO MUCH RIGHT NOW#LIKE YEA SURE I KNOW THEY'RE IMPORTANT BUT I STILL HATE ESSAYS and j know my teachers are trying their best...#but jeese ethnics is such a difficult topic because on one had yea i relate to what these people are going through im part of the LGBT#are statistics are very similar but im also bery much a white person and not openly trans/non binary i dont want to look like some stuck up#white person going oooo look at the poor minorities i can TotAlLy relate and now im going to talk about me#because im genuinely scared of coming out idk whos accepting and whos not at least online im safe and can block people...#jeese im sorry for the rant i shouldn't have gone on that much less my art blog#this is supposed to be a positive blog but i just need to put this somewhere or i feel im going to cry out of frustration im sorry#rant post#system#oops moshie got emotional
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Its kind of insane like genuinely insane how many people on here have no idea what life is like for average people in the third world / global majority and the Neo-colonialism that creates those conditions to support conditions in the North and how insanely cruel they can be as the absolute baseline and the type of killing and death that maintains the boundaries between the north and the south.
Like tell me you've never met an immigrant or refugee without telling me. Do you genuinely not know what happens to people who get deported, or work in the farms or meatpacking factories that feed the North?? The child deaths in the border crossings? The mines all over the globe? The people that die from lack of baseline vaccinations and sanitation and healthcare trademarked by western companies? The literal MILLIONS of third worlders killed in the wars across the globe defending US economic hegemony? The agent orange, the land mines, the carpet bombing, the drones? What the fuck is wrong with you?
#mine#sorry bitchy posting#idk why I even read discourse on here anymore its mostly just beefing or more motivated by a specific shitty user or whatever.#idk but like we can accept that you can be poor and disabled and still have other privileges why is it not ok to point out the#overwhelmingly oppressive conditions the North holds the South in and the passport and supply chain and linguistic and exchange rate and#labor protections other such things that all citizens of the global North have closer access to than those of the South. What if it didn't#matter who was in charge of your country and no matter what liberatory things they wanted to do the IMF could still have you gutted and#economically force your country to cut your social programs and use national debt to put your entire population to work serving the#producing goods and raw materials that everyone in the global north consumes whether they have a choice or not.#It not like similar conditions don't exist in the north but its crazy to see people posting that imperial core privilege doesn't exist.#It fucking does.#and it grinds up the bodies of the south in million upon millions and it's fucking insane to act like its an imposition on you to even try#to care or understand. Borders are material and they fucking kill people. They fucking kill people#I literally know someone who almost died because of his non-residential status. His life was only saved because he happened to get diagnose#in a country that had a medical system that could treat him. He had to stay sick and dying and away from his family for 4 fucking years#because if he went home he would never be allowed back again. He was only able to stay because he had support from a vouching citizen frien#who could speak the language well. Then after he was cleared he was sent home and because he has a 'preexisting risk factor' he will never#be granted a work visa in the country again. If /when the illness relapses he is going to die without treatment.#It makes me fucking livid that people can discard the violence of borders so quickly. Borders fucking kill. And they kill in the millions.#The north runs of southern blood. That doesnt mean that northerners arent killed too. But its fucking crazy to act like no such axis exists#any american president would kill the same number of southerners without the destruction of the north-south extractive supply chain.#Im sorry about the spam lol. But this just pisses me off. HOW ARE YOU SO BLIND. How can you say these things and think youre a good person.#How can you say these things. How.
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[id: the first image is a reply by @.demilypyro that reads: That doesnt sound very cis
the second image is a reply by @.homosexualmorelikehomiesexual that reads: respectfully adding to this in agreement with op: i think its true that no, it DOESNT sound very cis, but thats bc according to the very same gender system that sucks so much, anyone who disagrees or complains about it is Other, and i think thats......part of the exact problem op is talking abt..? so yeh idk. speaking as a trans person myself- op youre valid youre right and you should say it i support you go cis boy go
#this is what i call cis+ #youre cis but youve seen the void. the truth. and then you pulled back and went Ok Got It. Keeping My Gender Though #which i think is just as respectable. like amen #consciously opting into your assigned gender when you know you don’t actually have to..... #thats cis plus. cis prime. cis upgraded. you feel? /end]
I’m a cis man sure but i also wanna opt out of the gender binary. None of that shit is my fault or my responsibility and i don’t want any part of it
#text#lgbtag#may actually add something to the post eventually but it's late so just putting some thoughts in the tags#saying this as a trans genderfuck person . it's incredibly reductive to tell anyone who questions the gender binary or desires to break it-#-down that they Have to be trans to do so#you see it a lot with gnc cis people but tbh . applies to even gender conforming cis people and even non-queer cis people !#because in doing so you reinforce that trans people are Magically Different than cis people and that we're the only people who want to-#-question and break down the gender binary#but like . if you want to acknowledge that the gender binary is made up & people have complex relationships with it that fall outside of-#-the socially dictated binary & that ''man'' and ''woman'' are socially created categories not based in biology#and that there's no concrete definition of what a man or a woman or someone who's both or neither and etc beyond personal identity and-#-social category / cis-enforced societal roles#... you also have to realize that some people will break down the concept of the binary and recognize all of that . and still identify with-#-their assigned gender and be cis#expecting anyone who breaks down and rejects the gender binary to automatically also be trans not only cuts us off from cis allies who want-#-to help trans acceptance and break down those social structures#but also ignores intersectional groups who have complicated experiences with gender based on those identities while being cis!#(ex as a white person with privilege i don't feel confident speaking on it on my own but reading about black perspectives on gender and how-#-black women especially have historically been treated by largely white feminist movements how black women are degendered how the sex-#-binary has been leveraged in a racist & eugenics-based way etc imo is really important for breaking down the gender binary even when it's-#-discussing specifically cis people. bc discussions on marginalization are never in a vacuum)#and there are plenty of people Esp queer people who may not solidly fit in a cis or trans box esp when it comes to gnc people!#ex the amount of butch lesbians and fem/me gay men whose connection to womanhood or manhood is through being a lesbian/gay man#but who have more complex relationships with their gender and expression than Just womanhood or manhood#idk long rant and none of this is to say that there's a Cisphobic Trans Agenda to Force Poor Cis People to be trans bc a woman likes suits-#-or a man thinks the gender binary sucks#just . again as a trans person who experiences a lot of joy from my relationship to gender and being trans#i love seeing cis people who can find joy in their gender through breaking down the binary!#gender is complicated and i think accepting it as something Anyone can have a complex relationship . cis or trans . is a big part of-#-accepting that gender is a social construct and not a biological fact
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every day i am reminded that people on reddit cannot read oh my GOD
#GLIDER HUNT RANT AGAIN LMAOO#lemme make a tag really quick actually#wings's glider hunt#<- there#ANYWAYS#specifically said i wanted a “non-rare token glider”#and someone commented and said that x eyed NON TOKEN gliders can go for 15k+#like???#i'll rephrase it next time i post about it#but.#idk how to respond and clarify without sounding really bitchy#kinda makes sense tho. people just not reading posts can explain so many of the comments i get#do you think they would understand over there if i said “piss on the poor” orrrrrr#WAIT did i delete the last glider hunt rant#i need to go on a search one sec lmao#I DELETED IT???
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I was raised agnostic and tend to remain ambiguous on theological matters.
-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a
~*Spiritual Experience*~
I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.
Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.
He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.
So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.
He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.
Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.
His process for unloading the fireworks is to 1. Climb up through the gate into the bed of his pickup truck (a feat made unusually difficult due to the slope of his driveway, and this man's fascinating decision to wear the world's Siffest and least Flexible Denim Overalls. 2. Once in the pickup bed, he selects ONE (1) box from the pile He is apparently from a niche religious institution that doesn't believe in stacking things. 3. Carries it awkwardly around the palette that barely fits in the truck bed 4. His wife yells "Be careful!" when he nearly falls out of the pickup. 5. He Yells "SHADDUP!" back at her. 6. The Large German Shepherd barks from inside the house. 7. He yells "SHADDUP!" back at her too. 8. He sets the (1) box down on the gate 9. Slowly and awkwardly climbs out of the pickup bed 10. picks the box back up, and carries it into the garage.
Question: Aren't you going to help this poor man? Answer: Absolutely Not.
There's four military veterans, MANY dogs, and several people with dementia in this neighborhood, all of whom are terrified by this chicanery every year and many neighbors have repeatedly asked him to maybe do the fireworks somewhere else. (This is the Eighth Year Running he's held a major demolition event in his driveway, and for those of you who can do math, you may be able to guess the precipitating incident to this little ritual) Additionally, I live in Colorado, a state marginally less prone to spontaneous and catastrophic conflagrations than a rotting grain silo, but only marginally. Our recreational explosives laws are written accordingly.
I am in fact calling the Non Emergency line to report Fireworks violations, and reading off the brand labels to someone named Dorothy, who is gleefully totaling up a SPECTACULAR fine for my oblivious neighbor.
However, while I'm on the phone with Dorothy, I notice the wind begin to pick up. and by "Notice" I mean "The Industrial Saran Wrap he left on his Lawn earlier is suddenly swept up about 100 feet into the air by an updraft intense enough to make my ears pop" And by "Pick Up" I mean "I look up to see the sky has turned a fun and exciting shade of glass green, and the bottoms of the clouds are bumpy and rounded, and the overall effect is not unlike looking up through the bottom of the cup at God's Matcha Boba Tea."
For those of you who do not live in places with Inclement Weather, these conditions mean "You have about 30 seconds before a Major Meteorological Event Occurs."
I move under the eaves. "Hang on Dorothy." I say, nose filling with Petrichor. "The show is about to be cancelled." "Oh, that doesn't matter!" Dorothy cheerfully informs me. "It's illegal for him just to possess those, no matter if he actually gets to set them off or not." "Terrific, because he's gotten maybe five boxes out of a hundred inside."
Sometimes, the weather gods are Merciful and give you a verbal warning, typically in the kind of thunderclap that makes your ears ring.
The Gods were not merciful today.
It's not often that I am in the time, place, correct angle or in a properly observational frame of mind to see this, But I got to see it today. Huh. I thought. I've never seen a cloud just DIVE for the ground before. Oh. I realized as it got closer. That's RAIN.
Sometimes, a thunderstorm will form in such a way that the rain that would normally be distributed over an area of say, five to tent square miles, is instead concentrated into an area of say, my neighborhood exactly.
So today, I was granted the rare privilege of being able to actually see the literal wall of water descend from On High and DIRECTLY onto my porch, my street, and my neighbor's truck, and his pile of unwrapped fireworks.
The sheer impact force of the downpour immediately scatters the teetering pile of fireworks boxes in the back of the truck, like the wrath of God striking down the tower of Babel. Boxes tumble, then are washed out of the bed of the truck by the deluge. Smaller Boxes are carried down the road in a little line by the stream forming in the gutter, like little impotent explosive ducklings.
My neighbor was definitely yelling something, but I could not hear what over the DEAFENING noise several million gallons of water makes upon high-speed contact with the earth's surface, but there was a lot of arm-waving and faces turning red as he went looking for the saran wrap that had probably blown to Nebraska by now, while his wife started disassembling the complex three-dimensional puzzle of interlocking material goods in search of a tarp. They do not have a tarp. They have one of those wretched Thin Blue Line flags though, and my neighbor jogs out in a futile effort to cover what's left in the truck.
Which is when the hail begins.
"HELLO?" Yelled Dorothy. "HI!" I shouted. "WE'RE HAVING SOME WEATHER!" "OH GOOD!" she shouts back. "WE NEED THE MOISTURE!"
I watch for a minute longer, but the loss was immediate and catastrophic- the hail is the size of marbles and dense and cares not for your pitiful cardboard and cellophane, ripping the boxes asunder and punching holes in the few things covered in plastic. The colors on the Thin Blue Line Flag are seeping all over the remains of that it was supposed to protect in a particularly apt visual metaphor. Not even the few boxes that made it into the garage are spared, as the German Shepherd escapes from indoors, and in an attempt to assist her humans, jumps directly into the small stack of not-yet-ruined boxes, scattering them into the driveway and deluge. She even picks one up so her humans will chase her around the yard, before dropping it in the gutter to be swept away.
So. I was raised Agnostic -but even I can recognize when God slaps someone upside the head and shouts "NO!" at them.
---
(If you laughed, please consider supporting my Ko-fi or preordering my book of Strange Stories on Patreon)
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"Oh yeah I'm fluent in ancient Greek" "I did classics at college" "Wait, you haven't read the Aeneid in it's original Latin?" What kind of private school bullshit are you fuckers on?
#babygirl i am rawdogging this shit#my academic qualifications are non existent but i have duolingo and the internet#hashtag just poor people things#so yeah that's how my uni trip went....#i am now going to read the aeneid (not in latin cos fuck that grammar nonsense)#gonna tag#classics#because for some reason im applying for it
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At lunch once I lent some friends a d4 for a game they were playing since they mentioned generating 1-4.
After watching them get over their initial amazement that I had a die on me with 4 sides I just went about my own thing. (I carried my dice with me in the off chance I was gripped with the need to roll up a character or found a fun dice prompt while scrolling on my phone in high school. And still have at least a set in my backpack in college)
Anyway I noticed after a few minutes that one of them got up to write out sets of numbers like 1 4 3 and 324 and so on on the whiteboard,- and then writing one of their names with it or something.
'What are those for?' I asked.
'So we know which side is which person?'
I watched in dumbfounded silence as they rolled, picked it up, looked at the bottom and then at the board.
'....You know the top number is the same on all sides?'
Whoever was holding it stopped and turned it around in their hand several times and they all leaned in to look at it. They broke out excitedly how much easier that was and resumed whatever they'd been doing.
It amuses me to this day-though I know they had no prior experience with tabletops and hadn't even seen a d4 before so I don't hold it against them to much. (Just mildly wonder how four people looked at it and didn't assume the upright number at least was the right one)
For weird dice Wednesday! The blue one on the left was ordered as part of a standard set, but somehow I ended up with a die that can only roll a 1 or a 4? And the green one is normal except the result is read from the bottom of the die.
.
#I wrote a whole paper for my college nonfic class on D&D that confused nearly everyone including the teacher#Like I gave it a 'Would non-TTRPG people understand this'? read and still failed hard#My poor teacher asked if a regular person should know what a rogue and Ninjago were which almost put me in the grave with how hard I laughe#They were an amazing teacher though just clearly had different hobbies and childhood obsessions#dnd
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Every fun post on here that encourages people to have hobbies/be creative always gets an avalanche of "Some people are poor Karen" type reactions and respectfully, you're all super annoying. I've never lived above the poverty line and this is a list of hobbies I have that were cheap or entirely free:
Read books: Go to the library, lend a book from a friend
knitting, crochet, embroidery: Get some needles from the bargan store and ask around, people have leftovers from projects they'll happily give you. Thrift stores also often carry leftover fabric and other supplies. And talk about your hobby loud enough and an old lady will show up and gift you their whole collection, because there are way more old ladies with a closet full of wool than there are grandchildren who want to take up the hobby.
Origami/paper crafts: get some scrap paper and scissors, watch a youtube tutorial
walking: put on shoes open door
pilates/yoga/etc: get a mat or just use your carpet, watch a youtube tutorial
Houseplants: look online for people that swap plant cuttings. There are always people giving out stuff for free to get you started. If you're nice enough you'll probably get extra
gardening: You're gonna need some space for this one of course but you can just play around with seeds and cuttings from your grocery vegetables.
aquarium keeping is a bit of an obscure one but I got most of my stuff second hand for cheap or free and now I have a few thousand euro worth of material and plants.
drawing/art: You get very far just playing with bargan store materials. I did my entire art degree with mostly those.
writing: Rotate a cow in your head for free
cooking: again one you can make very expensive, but there are many budget recipes online for free. Look for African or Asian shops to get good rice and cheap spices.
Join a non-profit: Cities will have creative organisations who let you use woodworking machines or screen presses or laser cutters or 3D printers etc etc etc for a small fee. Some libraries also lend out materials.
candle making: You need some molds (cheap), wick, two old cooking pots for au bain marie melting and a ton of scrap candles, ask people to keep them aside for you.
a herbarium, flower pressing: Leaves are free, wildflowers too, ask if you can take from peoples gardens.
puzzles: thrift stores, your grandma probably
Citizen science: look for projects in your area or get the iNaturalist app
And lastly and most importantly: Share! Share your supllies, share your knowledge. Surround yourself with other creative people and before you know it someone will give you a pot of homemade jam and when you want to paint your kabinet someone will have leftover paint in just the right color and you can give them a homemade candle in return and everyone is having fun and building skills and friendships and not a cent is exchanged. We have always lived like this, it's what humans are build to do.
And all of it sure beats sitting behind a computer going "No stranger, I refuse to let myself have a good time."
Anyway I'm logging off bc I'm making some badges for a friend who cooked for me and then I'm going to fix some holes in everyones clothes.
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𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 — 𝓜𝓲𝓭𝓭𝓵𝓮 𝓖𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭
ᥫ᭡ Suguru never thought he would see the girlfriend he murdered years ago when he decided there was no space in his life for non-sorcerers, yet he never said anything about her lost soul.
cw: ghost! f reader x cult leader!geto, reader can’t speak much, invisible fucking (?), oral, fingering, squirting, exhibitionism, body worship, praising, one quick mention of impregnation, slight violence (towards someone else), reader gets jealous of Suda, mentions of buddhist rituals and the antichrist (separate events), poor death jokes. 6.2k words (not sorry). #— cult-tober
ᥫ᭡ inspired by lady k and the sick man — hentai manga (read it at your own risk).
note: thank you everyone who asked about the status of this fic, you encouraged me to finish it <3
Geto knew what he was doing the day he decided to cut everyone out of his life. Some of them, such as Gojo and Shoko, he just cut ties, others, he took their lives.
The people from that despicable village were first, then his own parents, and lastly, his girlfriend.
He would be lying if he said any of these killings made him feel bad, but the one that got closer to hurting him was, of course, yours.
Already numb from the previous deaths, keeping you alive wasn’t really an option.
Though Suguru was gentle, he waited for you to fall asleep while cuddling him after kissing his face and emphasizing how well rested he looked.
“Getting back on your feet, eh?” your words.
He didn’t think he would keep thinking of you, in that moment and the following years he was so focused on his long term goals and new discovered hatred that he managed to push you to the back of his mind.
Now he’s established, he has quite a lot of donors to his cause, a loyal group of sorcerers that share his vision and to top it all, the strongest set of curses that any curse user could only dream of.
Reaching such a satisfying point of his life makes him reflect upon the things he doesn’t have.
When Geto rests his head on the pillow at night he remembers the couples he sees through the day, the teenagers confessing when they can’t even look into each other’s eyes.
Naturally, he thinks of you.
The two of you were different, he took your hand and looked deeply into your eyes, you looked back, for many times after that you tended to look away whenever he said something suggestive or romantic, or even when he stared into your eyes for too long, and Suguru made sure to bring your eyes back to him.
Why couldn’t you have been born a sorcerer? You didn’t even need cursed energy, if you could only see curses that would be enough to him.
Geto sighs, it has been a few months since he started to think of you so frequently.
He’s a man of needs, from time to time he indulges himself into masturbating since sleeping with a human is out of the question and sleeping with a fellow sorcerer would only bring complications into his so-called family.
So, in the mornings, way before any of his duties, he takes the box from under his bed and sprays the perfume you used to use on the pillow beside his. He had an internal fight before buying that perfume, a girl was offering samples outside a store and once the scent reached his nostrils he was invaded by memories he thought he had buried years ago. He bought the bottle nevertheless, shaking his head sadly when the lady asked if she should wrap it as a gift.
The liquid in the bottle hasn’t decreased much, since it lasts quite a long time on his sheets. He sprays once in the pillow, or on his shirt, the one you used to steal from him all the time cause it was your favorite.
His boxers are pushed down, sometimes he fists his cock while looking at the pictures in his box, your pictures, unfortunately he had no spicy pictures, back when you were together nudes weren’t so common, not when you couldn’t password protect a digital camera and flip phones cameras sucked.
He uses the smiling pictures you insisted on taking on your dates, he usually was flipping, or had his tongue out
His favorite is the one you took in a photo booth, the first picture he somehow convinced you to show your tongue with him, the second both of you were laughing, the third you were kissing.
Those three pictures, plus the smell of your perfume is enough for him to remember that kiss vividly.
He teases his tip, thinking about how soft your breasts felt under his hand.
He couldn’t kiss you like that and just leave the photo booth, he had you on his lap, the confined space added to the risk of being caught was so exciting.
Geto spills his load on his stomach, his mind still playing the memory of him kissing your neck, while you caressed his hair urging him to soften down quickly so you could leave the booth and go back to your place. He put his arm around your shoulders, kissing your temple and getting a playful slap on his chest. You didn’t like pda, “people look at us weirdly” you said, but were the first to take his hand or pout when didn’t put his arm around you.
Geto is about to fall back asleep, it started to rain outside, he should be up in an hour but he’s feeling too nostalgic, in a bad way, so the association would have to go through the day without him.
Suguru turns to the side, the rain makes him remember the day you met him at his dorm, for what was supposed to be a date, but the weather changed so you cuddled on his single bed giggling about what would happen if someone knew you, a non-sorcerer, was inside such a exclusive facility like jujutsu tech when you shouldn’t even known it existed. Suguru kissed your face, cheeks, nose and lips, and assured you he would fight anyone that dared to say you were not welcome there.
He promised to keep you safe, in simpler times, when he had a best friend and a future as an ally of the jujutsu world.
Suguru feels a lump on his throat, but he swallows it, allowing his mind to fade away and muscles to relax as he’s back asleep.
Apparently, he needed that few more hours. Suguru is awoken suddenly by a loud, trembling sound. He looks around confused, hating to be woken up instead of waking up naturally, his eyes open slowly expecting the sun, but outside is dark, Geto’s head snaps to his alarm clock wondering how he could have slept till so late, but it says eight in the morning still. What started as a rain turned into a full storm by now.
Suguru jumps from his bed, in order to close the window which had already soaked part of his carpet.
“Shit” he closes the glass window and attempts to turn on the lights, but nothing happens, probably a blackout due to the storm.
His bedroom turns cold, colder than before he closed the window.
A lightning illuminates the sky, and by consequence, his room, he sees a figure on the corner before getting swallowed back in the dark, he rubs his eyes sensing something is off.
The blue cursed energy light takes its shape around his hand, whoever/whatever thought it was a good idea to enter his room is about to regret.
He can see a shape, raising his hand to hit it, concentrating his energy on his fist.
Lightning strikes again.
It illuminates a face. Your face.
Geto’s hand is stopped in the air, his eyebrows leave the frown state and his mouth is hung open.
The electricity returns, his lamp casting a warm light into the bedroom.
He can fully see you now, taking a step back and lowering his hand.
Your face is much paler, hair is longer, like all the years that have passed to him passed to you too. That if you hadn’t seen the sun, or cut your hair, if you were alive all this time or… dead, as it looks, a phantasmagoric version of the girl he used to know.
You have a white dress — or more like a nightgown on —, it’s long and the straps are thin, looks comfortable. He hopes you felt comfortable all this time.
Geto says your name, in a whisper, rubbing his eyes again and wondering if he’s still dreaming.
You brace yourself slowly, as if you’re the one scared in this situation, he watches your mouth parting but closing again.
“Is it really you?” he takes a step closer but you take a step back hitting the wall, “Are you… afraid of me?”
Your eyes widen, they look opaque, shineless. Then you furrow your eyebrows, turn your hands into fists and hit his chest.
“You’re mad, I get it, I deserve it” he lets you punch him groaning angrily, never saying a word, he wonders if you can even speak.
“C’mere” he wraps his arms around you when you start to whimper.
Suguru considers actually being crazy or dreaming, cause you still smell like your old perfume.
“I’m not sure what is happening, I don’t really care, just please don’t go away” he tightens his hold on you believing you could disappear anytime, “You heard me? I was calling your name earlier” he lets go to caress your face, it’s still weird to look at your face when you have this bluish hue instead of the warm cheeks he knew.
You look away, exactly like you did when he said something naughty. So you did hear him when he was touching himself looking at your pictures together. Then he remembers something new, a conversation you had about whether he would find another girlfriend if you died, the type of thing a girl asks in a relationship when she’s bored. That or if their boyfriends would still love them if they were a worm.
Suguru doesn't seem to remember his answer, though he knew you had a tendency to get jealous easily.
“Not sure how much you saw all this time, but just so you know I’ve never been with anyone else” he assures.
Your gaze returns to him surprised, you didn’t know as it seems, he feels like asking questions, how long have you been around? What do you remember?
“You’re cold” he rubs your arms and your strap slides down allowing him to notice your breasts and your nipples marking the fabric, “I’m picking you up, alright?” and he does, wondering if you’re lighter or if he’s got stronger.
Suguru places you on his bed, now a much larger and more comfortable one than the one he had in his jujutsu tech dorm. He lays with you and covers you both with a duvet as you wiggle on his hold trying to find that position you liked to cuddle at.
“You’re so soft” his hand runs on your thigh, “I missed you so much” he squeezes you smelling your hair and kissing your temple all the way down your cheeks — which are way warmer now — until he meets your lips which he starts to peck lightly, though the pent up energy and the way his heart aches for you doesn’t allow him to take this slowly, instead he’s quick to deepen the kiss rolling his tongue with yours and pushing your straps down to fondle with yours breasts.
You whimper and try to move your legs from under him, with no success as he’s drunk on the feeling of having your body under his again.
Such sensitive nipples hardening under his fingers, the taste of you, yours hands pushing his—
He’s pushed off the bed with more strength than he ever thought you would have. You get rid of the duvet and kneels down to where he lays on the floor, he thinks that’s all a play until a very real hand slaps his face, harshly, then you run and disappear through the wall.
Suguru sighs, noticing his boner and resting on the floor.
“…then we’ll be all set, Geto-sama. Geto-sama?” Suda asks, noticing how deep he’s in whatever he’s reading.
“Thank you, Manami” he dismisses her, not taking his eyes off the book.
Geto decided to do some research, to understand how it was possible for you to have appeared to him.
Turns out, in all the books and archives he has of the jujutsu world, there’s only one explanation for why a human would have come back after death.
He cursed you, somehow.
Reversing the curse.
He closes the book when seeing the title of the next chapter, that’s not what he’s interested in.
Geto closes his eyes massaging the bridge of his nose, that day’s duties are already giving him a headache.
A hand manifests out of thin air, touching his cheek. Definitely something worthy of a jump scare, but after an initial surprise, Geto softens his features and puts his hand on top of yours.
The rest of your body manifests slowly, you’re on top of the table he was reading at, your legs dangle on the side, your hair covers part of your face and it’s long enough to reach the table's surface.
“Hello, beautiful” he brushes the hair away from your face, your thumb rubs his cheekbone, the place you hit the day before, it’s not sore or even bruised, the only scar that it left was an emotional one and he senses you’re apologizing for hitting him, though he’s the one that should be begging your forgiveness.
“I’m sorry about last time, I got too excited to see you again and forgot the most important thing” he took both your cold hands and kissed your knuckles, “To apologize, for taking your life” he’s not capable of looking up, not yet, “I’m sorry.”
He thought if he should do that for a long time, since he doesn’t regret the things he’s done to get where he is today, and Geto believed that if you had the chance to go back in time to do things differently and still wouldn’t do it, you couldn’t say you’re sorry for what you did. And he would do it all over again.
He is sorry for you though, he’s sorry for crossing your life and revealing all the things you shouldn’t know in the first place, he’s sorry for depriving you from a normal life, unaware of the existence of curses and sorcerers.
“I’m glad you’re here now” he rests his head on your lap hugging your hips and bringing you closer.
You caress his hair, minding the bun, his hair is also much longer than the last time you saw him, you always said he should grow it out since his hair was so naturally lustrous. He teased you, asking if you were jealous of his gorgeous hair. Now, he snorts, remembering the conversation and untying the half bun so you can run your fingers freely.
Geto, with his head still on your lap notices your feet dangling happily, one on each side of his. He reaches for your right one, brushing his fingers on your sole causing you to squeal, he laughs softly, seemingly you’re not able to speak, only to express yourself through little sounds. His hand wraps around your ankle then rubs the extension of your calves until he reaches your knee, pushing the hem of your dress just enough to expose your thigh for him to start kissing.
“We don’t have to do anything okay? I just want to touch you” he rubs his cheek on the skin of your thigh, like a cat asking for affection.
Your hands leave his hair and his heart beats faster assuming you’re about to leave him, instead you take the hem of your dress and lift it up all the way to your hips, revealing your uncovered pussy to him. The afterlife must be more comfortable without underwear.
Geto grins, accepting what you’re offering him, pushing his chair enough to give him space to dip his head lower and further into your legs.
You being the good dead girl you are, lean back and spread your legs watching with wide eyes the black head of the cult leader getting lost under your dress.
He starts by kissing your folds and rubbing the space between your hips and thighs, taking a mental note of how warm you get when touched by him.
Suguru nuzzles into you, rubbing the tip of his nose on your clit while you squirm. He takes your ankle and helps place your foot on the table to give him more room to eat you out.
What a sin it would be if someone so good at sweet talking others was bad with his tongue.
Thankfully that’s not Suguru.
He quickly drives his attention to your hole, teasing it until he feels your hand gripping his hair, he spreads your flexed leg further and pushes his tongue in, not being able to hold back a moan when he feels you contracting around his muscle.
His nail is digging on your thigh, which he can tell you desperately want to close, still so sensible even after all these years.
Soft breaths echo through the library, Geto feels bad for not being able to hear your beautiful moans, maybe there’s a book about giving back ghosts their voices? Well, the whole thing is a work in progress, but right now he’s too busy to progress that far.
You tug his hair twice, “What’s that, love? Trying to say something?” he keeps his tongue still, pressing it in your bud and shaking his head slightly, he can hear you’re trying to say something over breathy gasps, “You beggin’?” he chuckles on your core, the vibrations make you want more so you raise your other leg, “Who am I to say no to my girl…”
Suguru slides both hands to your lower back, holding you still and kicking his chair back to kneel and be more leveled with your cunt.
He loved to finger you, seeing your face contorting and kissing your tears when you orgasmed on his hand, but he loves more making you cum with his mouth only. Felt so much more intimate, it was the same difference of killing someone with a weapon and with his bare hands. Not an analogy many people can understand, but makes perfect sense to him.
Suguru laps at you like a mad man, sucking and using teeth, every tool he has to give you the orgasm of your lif—
The best orgasm you ever had.
And he knows it’s working due to your shaking thighs and arching spine.
He’s almost without air but when he notices your curving toes he tells himself to endure a bit more.
“Oh it’s coming” and soon he’s rewarded with your throbbing clit on his lips and a clear liquid being sprayed on his chin and chest. Being the tease he is, he laps at your swollen bud a bit more till you have to push him away.
“Sweet” he murmurs, kissing your shaking thigh and admiring your swollen glistening folds. You lay back to recover from the mind blowing orgasm and he sneaks a hand to grab his phone, opening the camera but frowning his eyebrows when nothing but the table getting reflected in his screen. Apparently phone cameras don’t work on ghosts “Too bad, guess I’ll have to remember the sight” he rests his head on your thigh and reaches a finger to caress you like he’s drawing on your skin.
“Geto-sama, we got another check” Suda pushes the door and you sit up quickly, but her eyes are solo on Geto, a questionable look on her face, probably noticing his disheveled hair and his kneeled position on the floor, “Is everything okay?”
Suguru blinks, shifting his eyes to you and her, doubting if his fellow sorcerer really couldn’t see the half naked woman dripping on the table.
Maybe even sorcerers couldn’t see it all.
“Yes, you can give me that” he got up, wiping his mouth with his sleeve, taking the envelope and closing the door.
When he turns back you are gone. Geto sighs and bumps his head on the door.
Still managing to deal with everything that has been happening, Geto goes to the scheduled meeting in a bad mood, not having seen you since the library incident the previous day.
He’s the last one to arrive, sitting cross legged on the mat at the head of the table. Suda is on his right, taking notes on the meeting, which is boring Geto to no end.
Suda leans in, whispering a question to Geto and showing the notes while the rest of the people discuss financial matters.
“Did someone open the window? It’s so cold all of the sudden” Suda rubs her arms and Geto raises his head from the hand supporting it.
The room did get chiller.
He looks behind his shoulder and sees you, under a different light, a darker one. Your hair is floating and your face is dark, he can only see your widened eyes, they’re fixed on Suda.
Geto raises an eyebrow and discreetly pats his lap smiling at you.
The dark aura around you fades off a little bit and he can see your beautiful features again while you move your bare feet in his direction and take a seat between his legs facing him. In a natural motion he runs his hand on your hair and kisses your forehead, hoping it actually looked natural and not like he was patting an invisible person.
“Geto-sama, is this correct?” Suda leans in again, pushing her cleavage into Geto’s view and invading his — unknowingly also yours — personal space.
Your head turns almost 360°, the scary things you do only turn Suguru on more. The dark aura is back again.
“Don’t be jealous” he whispers very quietly.
“What was that?” Suda asks leaning in more.
You turn the rest of your body in a ghost-like manner, reaching claw-like hand to Suda’s face.
“Yes, Manami, please pay attention” he takes your hand, guiding it slowly to his pants so you could see how happy he was to see you meanwhile his other hand raises your dress and massages your folds.
You lean back on his chest, he puts his chin on top of your head looking down at your beautiful legs extended under the table.
“Isn’t that right, Geto-sama?” Larue asks and everybody turns their attention to their mentally-checked-out leader. Geto notices you tensing up, like their attention is on you too. Which would be if they could see you.
Afterall, who wouldn’t want to see a gorgeous little thing melting by having her clit played with under her dress?
You two never took things out of the bedroom, so the recent days have been nothing but new experiences.
Swiftly, Geto hooks his finger on the top of your dress bringing it down and exposing your breasts to, in reality, no one but himself, still you squeak and try to cover yourself but Geto is faster, holding both your hands behind you.
“Sounds great” he smiles at the people waiting for an answer about a topic he couldn’t care less about, instead he’s more concerned about moving the two fingers inside your gummy walls.
They get back to discussing it among themselves, Geto pretends to pay attention looking at a fixed spot and missing the way Suda is looking at him.
You don’t miss it though.
That’s how you’re supposed to look at him, you only.
It’s borderline outrageous to see her so heart eyed at your man while he’s finger-deep inside your cunt with his erection poking your lower back.
Jealousy starts to take over you again, Suguru is still holding your arms, so you use your leg to swing a move on the water jar on top of the table, shattering it and spilling the water all over Suda.
Everyone gasps, raising from the table and removing their paper to avoid getting wet too.
“What was that?!” she yells.
“Seems like we have a naughty ghost around” Geto jokes, pinching your clit, “Or it’s a sign from heavens to end this meeting, Suda please try to save these notes” he motions to her soaked notepad, “Close the door on your way out, I’ll clean this.”
“But Geto-sama—“ he knew someone would protest it.
“We’ll continue tomorrow” he said firmly, everyone bowed respectfully before leaving the room.
“Tsk tsk, that was unnecessary” he lets go of your arms, you turn around, kissing your man and pushing his chest until he’s laying on the floor with you on top.
Geto puts his arm around you, keeping you close while playing with your tongues, he’s strong enough to hold you tight, not letting you get away from him.
Your hands go to his complicated clothing, trying to undo the knots of it and free him for you to touch.
“Here, I got this” he undoes everything that needs to be undone with one hand while still holding you, you finish pushing his clothing out of his body until every fabric that once wrapped him is thrown all over the floors of the small room.
Finally, you could see him.
Geto kisses your ear and sucks your lobe while you run your hand over his torso, a faded memory coming to your head when you touch the x shaped scar on his chest. It’s much lighter now, you remember it being a shade of purple and red, holding back your tears at the time for seeing your lover hurt like that. He ensured it was nothing, he barely felt it due to the adrenaline.
At the time you wished you were there to take care of him, to patch and clean him, now you realize you wouldn’t be able to survive if you saw him bleeding and unconscious.
Maybe it all happened for the best.
You touch his abdomen, following the happy trail down to his shaft.
Geto is so strong now, he’s big enough for you to feel small even being on top of him, his thighs support you and his strong arm ensures you stay close.
You take his dick in your hand, kissing his neck and pumping him slowly. Suguru throws his head back, moving his hand to hold your ass as you work him up. Not that he needed much, from the moment he saw you crazy jealous over Suda he was hard already. No, actually, scratch that, from the moment he saw you, he was hard already. His heart beat faster, pumping the blood that went straight to his dick.
“Alright, baby, I can’t wait anymore” he pushes your dress up, getting you completely bare like him and moving your hips until your cunt hovers above his throbbing cock. You sink on him biting your lips, a habit from when you actually had a voice to moan and thought you should keep quiet.
Geto though, moans for the two of you, not caring if anyone hears him ‘cause he’s the boss, what would they do?
The feeling of your pussy around his cock is all he can think now, if you asked him to release all his curses right now he would.
God, he missed this. No toy would ever come close to the real thing.
Geto can’t help but admire your long hair, it is like a waterfall, running through your body and pooling on his torso. He takes a strand and plays with it around his finger.
“You’re still so tight, move your pretty ass for me, yes?” you nod, adjusting your posture and setting a rhythm, “That’s it, good girl” he holds your breast, rubbing a thumb on your perky nipple and raising enough to take the other one on his mouth.
Whatever important things he had that day, it’s all canceled now. His new plan is to stay buried in your pussy and sucking your tits all day long.
“You’re doing so well, baby, but I’ll take charge now, ‘kay?” he reaches behind you to brush away the glass remains and places you on top of the table carefully, “You’re so cute” he bends to kiss you, your hands caress his back muscles, thighs holding him inside you.
You don’t let him go away, not even for an inch, not even when you need air… do you really need it though? What would happen if you didn’t breathe? Die? Hah.
“So needy” he laughs softly and pecks your lips actually needing air, now he’s the one with long hair falling on your face, you brush it back and nibble on his chin, clenching around him as he hits that delicious spot.
Suguru is so pretty. Back then he had a boyish look and young charm, now he’s a man, his jawline is stronger and he lost some fat he had on his cheeks, too bad because you loved to kiss his soft cheeks. His arms are way bigger now too, when he readjusts himself to fuck you on a better angle you get a view that no sculpture in the world would ever compare. Light shines behind Suguru, his chest glistens with sweat, some strands of his hair sticking to his perfect skin, the sight of his v line alone makes your clit throb.
Geto stretches you so well and perfectly, “So good, baby.”
He's an angel, you’re convinced. Makes sense now, this is your heaven, being beside him forever, getting him to touch you in front of other people without feeling shame, haunting women that look at him with lust in their eyes.
“Nnnhg Sugu—“ you slap your mouth shocked by the actual words that came out.
“Fuck” he grabs your face kissing you hard, “Say that again” he asks thought a breathy almost desperate tone.
“Su—guru, Suguru” you moan, barely using a real voice.
“Fuck, I’m close. Can I come inside, baby? Huh?” he presses your belly down, “Maybe we should test whether you can get pregnant, that would be a miracle right? Or maybe we would have the antichrist” he smirks in a teasing way and you lightly slap his chest, not liking the idea of bearing the evil, although if he keeps thrusting like that you might change your mind.
Your legs tighten around his small waist, pulling him closer, “Squeezing me so well, I— haa“ he shuts his eyes, “‘Wanna cum with you, love” he lowers his hand to where you meet rubbing your clit with his thumb, you raise your hands to his shoulder pulling him to you until your sweaty foreheads touch.
Geto can see through your rolling eyes you’re close so he speeds up his thumb while thrusting sloppier.
“Still feels like our first time, you know?” he confesses, in love with the way you feel, not just your insides but also, your smell, your warmth, your sounds. All his sense are focused on you.
Your knot finally unties, nails sinking on his shoulder and heels pressing on his back, your mouth is hanging open while Suguru nuzzles on your cheek, “I’m losing my mind” your hips roll trying to meet his thrusts, he cums hard too, moaning majestically and filling you so much you know you won’t be able to hold it all.
“Oh baby” he runs a hand on your face, kissing you lovely. You kiss him back, putting in the gesture every word you cannot say.
Suguru was still trying to manage his duties as a leader and as a boyfriend, at least that’s what he thinks he is since you don’t exactly have the privilege to see other people and he doesn’t even want other people.
The thing is, unlike a normal (alive) girlfriend, you can’t go with him anywhere. To be more specific, apparently you can’t even leave the premises of the temple, the furthest you can go is sitting at the engawa and dangle your feet off the edge. Suguru promised to find whatever was keeping you there and figure a way to have you around him wherever he is.
Now, he’s in Hokkaido, after holding you cold dead hands and promising he would be back soon. In the meantime you explored every inch of the floor where Suguru slept, trying to find some item that was tying you there, with no success. So you begin to wander into other areas of the temple, with Suguru gone there isn't that many people around either, and even though no one can see you, it still felt weird being around other people, especially when someone walked through you.
When you enter the praying room you notice someone there, sitting on their knees in front of a buddha statue.
Curiosity takes the best of you and you approach the man, wanting to hear what he's praying for, you bend your torso beside him, having your long hair touch the floor, you suppose it would be a scary sight, but you doubt anyone except Geto can see you at this point.
You adjust your posture, but being clumsy doesn't go away with your physical body, so you stumble and end up hitting a gong.
And of course, it doesn't go through you as it's supposed to. Whoever is in charge of deciding the moments you can touch the physical realm is a sadist.
The man who was praying is now standing up shaking like crazy, he’s asking who’s there but you cover your mouth (as if you could speak anyways). A second man enters the room, due to his traditional clothing you judge he’s an authority figure in the temple, but not being a buddhist during your lifetime you can’t be certain.
The first man is explaining what happened while you try to tiptoe your way out of this embarrassing situation (for you and scary for the man that will probably not sleep tonight).
Before you leave you can hear the second man saying this sorta thing has been happening around the temple, people are reporting a sudden cold air, things being moved out of the place and crying sounds during the night.
All your fault of course and half Geto’s fault on the last statement.
Not sad cries by the way but you can see why people would think that.
In fact, Suguru was very determined to have you voicing your pleasure, you still can’t talk, but he learned that through a very strong emotion your voice cords become stronger or at least existent for a brief moment. He’s still testing that and writing his experiments in a notebook.
Suguru says he wants to bring you back at some point but for now he can only do those kinds of experiments, you are happy to be beside him no matter what so you naturally accepts being his guinea pig, the initial resentment you had when you first saw him that day is long gone now. Is not like you have enough energy to think about your death anyways, at some point during the day you become extremely sleepy and eventually disappear, so you have to make the best out of your time with Geto.
Being back in his room you find your way under his blankets, the previous interaction seemed to have drained your energy, you should tell Geto about that so he can write it down in his notebook.
Finally.
Geto opens the car door before the vehicle fully stops at the entrance of the temple, it was only 2 days but he felt like weeks passed by.
And it wasn’t just a homesick feeling, he barely had a home. He just missed you. For years he was by himself, being satisfied with a few pictures and a perfume bottle, yet now he has the real thing — you —, one day without you hits harder than the almost ten years that went by.
It’s punishment, he knows it, the guilt must be felt, he didn’t feel it for ten years so he’s gotta feel it all in two days.
If only you could have a phone in the afterlife to facetime him…
None of that is important now, because he’s back and on his way to find you.
What he finds instead is concerning.
A familiar man with traditional clothes holds a cord and repeats a buddhist chant. The floor he lives in smells weird, in the corner of the room you have your hands around your ears, sitting on your knees and glitching like a scene playing in an old tv during a storm.
“S-Stop” he hears from you, in a strangled hoarse voice.
Suguru’s heart stops for a second, considering for the first time the chance of you being taken away from him. Again.
No, that won’t happen. That exorcism will not continue.
His heart is back, beating at its fastest now, he summons a curse, one too strong for a simple monkey, he blames his emotions for that but he smiles when he sees the half body dropping on the floor.
Your eyes are closed, hands still covering your ears, when you open them — after realizing the awful pain in your heart and head is gone — Suguru is standing in front of you, kneeling and smiling kindly.
He takes your head, running his thumb on your cheek before kissing you, trying to engrave the shape of your lips on his.
“Keep your eyes close for me, beautiful” you obey, keeping them shut when Suguru manhandles you into his hold and gets up, bringing you to his bedroom and away from the dead body, afraid of the bad memories it may bring you.
“There you go, i’m sorry about that” he kisses your forehead sitting down at his chair with you, “Guess it’s too dangerous to leave you alone, huh?”
You snuggle on his embrace, happy to finally have him back to warm you.
Through a whisper — since that’s the loudest sound that can possibly leave your lips — you confess “I missed you” Suguru pulls you away to look at your face, you can see he’s surprised you managed to speak, he also notices the glassy look in your eyes.
“I love you” your eyes widen, it’s the first time since your death he says it.
Since your death?
“I can’t say I'm sorry” he kissed your cheek and closed your still opened eyes “but I can say I love you, i’ll always love you.”
The memory makes your eyes water.
Well, maybe it’s not the first time since your death, but the first in your afterlife.
“I’ll do whatever it takes for us to stay together.”
🏷️ @rinntvrou @sad-darksoul @grsveeth0m @getomybeloved @sakurasimppp
note: my inbox is open for theories about this au, you can also check the #ghost!reader tag. also keep giving me ideas and i’ll keep writing 🤭
#geto x reader#geto smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk smut#geto x y/n#geto x you#suguru x reader#geto x female reader#— cult-tober
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