#no seriously be still I’m scared

[murdleandmarot]

Top 5 fruits or top 5 drawings you've done (totally not an excuse to see more cool art from you 😎❤️)

Hi hello!!! I’ll do top 5 drawings bc I don’t like many fruits 😭😭😭 (apples and pears take top spot)

This is in no particular I just perused my old sketchbooks and found the ones I like best :))

I rly love these two <3333 especially the one on the left. I went through a phase a year ago where I just found random people on Pinterest and drew them, and these are two of my favorites

Partial tugger design reveal…..oh no…..

Just kidding I resigned him slightly since I’ve drawn this but I’m thinking of redoing the hair on my redesign bc I love this so much…..sir….

Also ignore nibbly and wiggly off to the side there lol

Last two under the cut :)))))

I just think he’s neat :)))

His name is Ferdinand I think

And finally….

Michael Afton you will be forever famous….outing myself as a fnaf fan…..anyway ily Michael you’re so cool

[kacievvbbbb]

I think it’s interesting how as time goes on Zoro kind of becomes more and more like mihawk in some ways whether that’s just because if you spend time with someone for 2 years you’re bound to pick up their habits or a deliberate attempt to emulate him is a conversation for another time. And Mihawk and Zoro where already pretty similar at the start so it’s a little hard to notice now.

But yeah whether unconsciously or consciously Zoro is becoming a bit more like Mihawk and it’s interesting to think that while this means maturing in some ways (he’s swordsmanship for one but he’s also just quieter much more assured of himself) it also means deaging in some others.

Despite their significant age gap and general dispositions, when it comes down to it Zoro is just a lot more emotionally mature and developed than Mihawk is. And a big part of why is because he found something larger than himself to devote his life too, hell Mihawk himself even kind of acknowledges this when he agrees to take Zoro on as a student when Zoro begs for the sake of his captain and crew. He acknowledges that putting aside his own ego and dreams for the sake of someone else isn’t something he can do and sees it as a fault in himself and a strength in Zoro.

Mihawk may be outwardly mature and his skills defiently did not stagnant but I’d wager that Mentally Mihawk is still stuck at the same age he was when he took over the title of world’s strongest swordsman. Honestly maybe even younger. And it isn’t until training Zoro, letting Perona stay with him, for probably the first time in his life taking charge of lives outside his own did he finally unarrest his development.

If Zoro is purposely trying to emulate Hawkeyes, which it wouldn’t be a surprise if he was that’s who he’s trying to be Afterall, then it would honestly set him back emotionally because fundamentally as he is now Mihawk’s attitude doesn’t work in a crew. It’s too singular, too abrasive. And while that abrasiveness can be useful in Zoro’s role as Luffy’s first mate sometimes it makes him a little too callous a little too apathetic, like with his disregard for Luffy’s sadness over vegapunk.

But Zoro has his crew to temper that, they are honestly just too ridiculous to ever stay serious around. And try as he might to hide it Zoro is also just a silly dude who likes to be horrifically petty with his opponents. And zoro still has so much fire in him, so much he has too prove and so much he wants to protect to ever really fall into Mihawk’s apathy. Zoro has Luffy who even after they reach their dreams will probably still continue to turn the world upside down forever keeping Zoro in some kind of trouble and his life interesting.

Zoro can’t be Mihawk because even Mihawk can’t be Mihawk anymore. Being with crossguild and crossing with the Red hair pirates and the strawhats is going to change him, it has too. if Mihawk is going to live after losing his title he’s probably gonna have to become a little bit more like Zoro.

[blueskittlesart]

oh so THAT’S what you guys meant about persona 4.

[saturn-sends-hugs]

@the-bi-space-ace @floundrickthewayfarer

👀 oh. uh. …gimme a sec—

*digs through old wips bin*

OK SO, like the original post, this fic was going to be a time loop. specifically, a time loop of the citadel mission. MORE specifically, Fives, in a time loop of the citadel mission.

>:)

concept ramble below cut

the bare bones idea was just for the first chapter to be a domino twins focused rewrite of the citadel mission, complete with silly banter, devastation, and fives losing his absolute mind as he gets back to base alone.

but then!! fives would wake up! and tada, echos right there next to him like he was earlier, the mission hasn’t happened yet and hey, it must’ve been a dream.

but fives can’t help but notice that he knows exactly what’s going to happen. he recognizes what people are going to say before they say it, he knows the plan for the mission and knows every death that happens along the way. he’s uncharacteristically quiet through the whole thing, and when the shuttle explodes, he cant stop it.

he wakes up again. and again and again and again and every single time, he can’t save him. no matter what he does, no matter how he tries to change things, echo always dies.

or so he thinks, of course. i’m pretty sure the ending i had planned required fives to realize that echo DIDNT die, and the time loop only happened because they always left him behind

it was really just an excuse for me to pack as much echo and fives angst into a single fic as i possibly could. when else am i gonna get to explore all the fun possibilities like:

Fives struggling to cope with echos death in the midst of it replaying on a constant loop

Fives trying to convince Echo of the time loop and because he’s Echo he believes Fives, but it still never changes the outcome

Fives sacrificing himself for Echo only for it to fail as Echo dies instead

Them making it past the shuttle explosion only for a million other things to kill Echo anyway

Fives getting sick of the aftermath of echos death and the journey back to base and just… skipping back to the start

Fives convincing Rex of what’s happening and still nothing changes

Fives not being able to look at Echo anymore without seeing him die

Fives slowly growing more cold and distant towards his twin as he’s forced to survive in this nightmare

seriously the angst potential is limitless

but yeah. that was the idea :P we’ll see if it ever gets written.

[stardust-sunset]

i’m gonna kill my self what do you mean i’m getting all 4 wisdom teeth out in two weeks and you just told me 😭😭

[thatgecko0606]

Hey concernedape, what the fuck is this?

[theloveinc]

.

[leetaeiil]

I have Covid for the first time and I’ve never been so sick and miserable in my life

[golohours]

misery posting hours i think george not celebrating his anniversary shows how much everything fucked him up a little like i had low hopes in the first place but :( he loves an anniversary he’s so sentimental…… thinking that streaming makes him too nervous or something actually makes me want to die.

[joaniejustwokeup]

Hey! You there!

Get vaccinated against the current Covid and Flu strains! Tis the Season! To Immunize Yourself!

[foxgloveinspace]

I did what I always do when I get this storm anxiety and I watched goofy videos and reels all day and today ha get like three days and also I’m just so so so stressed about tomorrow night cause my whole family is gonna be split up around the county and I’m so so…. Not ok.

[bizzielisteningtogreta]

um… yeah so… josh is all that’s on my mind rn.

[moderndaymadscientist]

I’m tired

[floral-hex]

Two hours. I got two hours of sleep. I’m so frustrated with myself.

Went to the ER. Everyone was very nice. They gave me an IV bag of fluids (I was dehydrated! Sad cactus!) and a little ativan (teeny dose), which was nice at the time! Just a little amount, but the (mostly) quiet room, fluids, and meds managed to relax me a lot. Could have fallen asleep if the bed was actually comfortable. Then they packed me up, gave me another little Ativan to take home for tonight, and said they’d contact my primary. Cool cool. Got some much needed food on the way home, then took the pill and got comfy. Again, smallest dosage they make, so no feeling too good. Managed to muscle past my anxiety to fall asleep, and… 2 hours. Woke up. Tried to go back to sleep. Too frustrated and anxious and I feel like crap. What should I do? Just eat a whole gummy and hope that knocks me out? For me, that feels like playing roulette. Could work, yeah. Could make me sleepy and pliable. Could also backfire and make me feel sick and extra anxious for another 5 or 6 hours. What do I do? Roll back up to the ER? “Hewwo, I woke up and I need more benzos 👉👈🥺” haha funny, but I’ve seriously been thinking about it 😑

God, I’m miserable. Been sitting outside on the porch for a bit. Not quite an hour. Needed to get out of the apartment, but tbh, nearly 4am outside isn’t doing much for me. I just feel alone. It wouldn’t help with sleeping, per se, but just someone, I dunno, hugging or holding me for a few minutes would honestly save me a little. What a mess. Oh yeah, and apparently my kidneys are going 👎👎👎 down. Bad meat. Not great test results. Not what I’m focusing on tonight. I’m a mess. Anyway, this was my update. Sorry for all the walls of text. Suppose this is mainly for me to look back on in the future, but can’t pretend it’s not at least a little validating to put this all out into the world and knowing that maybe one or two people read this and I didn’t suffer completely without recognition. Yeah…

[e77y]

Long but relatively unserious vent/rant below the cut (sorry I added this in bc I realized how long this post is oops)

Being at the center of some kind of internet witchhunt (which ik is kind of buzzwordy but) is literally my biggest fear ohhh my god. Even a small scale one… I think I would Die. Maybe it’s because I had a similar thing happen with my friend group in high school where one of them convinced the others I was like evil and spread all these rumors about me… 😭 He was splitting on me but still. That’s an explanation, not an excuse. And it basically confirmed all of my intrusive thoughts about myself, and my personality completely self-destructed and changed, and I haven’t interacted with any of those people the same way since. I isolated from them for MONTHS and just loathed myself. Bleh

The reason it’s on my mind is bc I’ve seen this happen to friends and mutuals and even just people I’ve followed in small fandoms, where the whole fandom hates them bc of this little drama and like. I KNOW that fandom drama is not the end of the world, but truly I think that would destroy me for months. And I would never be able to set foot in those spaces again :’) Getting a handful of rude comments about a fucking transfem hc I had at like 14 made me stop writing fanfic for YEARS 😭😭😭 sigh. Just bc they said it was ‘out of character for him to want to be a girl’ 🙄 (<- character who canonically felt confident when dressed as a woman btw. initially for a disguise but then she grew to love it. BUT I DIGRESS KNSHFJW)

All this to say I think that’s why I tiptoe around everything I say online… I am SO scared of ruffling feathers, but I know that fandoms are places for like! Having fun! And it’s not a big deal! And it doesn’t affect my real life! But like idk.. I just hate the idea of being hated by anyone. I’m sure that I ANNOY some people, and that’s whatever; I talk a lot and make overly personal posts sometimes (like this lol) but I don’t wanna be HATED yk? And idek if it’s better to be hated and ostracized publicly or resented in secret by people who still interact with you… :( Agh. If you ever have an issue with me, please DM me instead of letting it build up into something worse!

ANYWAY LIKE.. with fandom stuff. Idk. I want to have fun! I want to write and post things on Tumblr and AO3 etc but I am just very scared of peoples’ opinions, especially now that I have a decently popular/well-liked longfic in DnDads. For some reason I have convinced myself that writing bad or self-indulgent NSFW will make everyone hate me lmao. Like girl the POINT of fanfic is to be self-indulgent……….. sigh I need to get out more

^ light-hearted… but also kinda true haha. I stay at home a lot just bc I don’t have many reasons to go out atm and only a handful of close friends to go out with. Hopefully that will change when I move next semester lol. And whenever I get interests, they’re VERY strong and long-lasting, and fanfic writing is one of my main hobbies, so I get REALLY into online communities. And rn that is kind of my little niche fandom Tumblr bubble… which is embarrassing and probably unhealthy but whatever. I just inevitably get a lot of anxiety about things that are important/fun to me (bc OCD), especially bc I’ve never really had mutuals/‘friends’ in a fandom before this, excluding my irls

Anyway this got longer and more vent-y than I intended so I will tag accordingly, and sorry to whoever is reading this lol; I just wanted to get my thoughts written down in a public forum bc idk… Makes me feel less insane when ik other people can see it, too. Helps me not take it too seriously and spiral lol.

[voiceshearingyouloud]

I was feeling extremely suicidal today, like the worst I have in maybe four or five years now, and I was deliberating over whether I should go to the hospital like pretty much all day and now that I feel better I realise that the moment I started drafting my suicide note in my head was probably when I should’ve decided that 😭