#I’ll still draw when I can and all.
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the stark realization that I almost completely caught up w all rebornverse games haunts me I’m now afraid to pursue the renegade arc because What Do I Do Now.
#talk#like. mini rant here I don’t have Anything Else occupying the mind and once it’s gone I’m seriously lost.#I’ll still draw when I can and all.#what am I supposed to do?#I feel like I’m going to run out of things to say here about my Guys and accidentally repeat myself like I usually do#and that’s being a bit generous because Im a Very Scared Person with ppl though everyone is rlly nice#idk. I’ll do what I do and do what I gotta do eventually#I know this community is v. tight knit? from my pov#which is rlly sweet.#and I’ve made myself a small corner away for my own Guys to frolick while I watch#and I’m super grateful people even like them just like I do.#but idk if I’m a Fit . if That makes sense#ill keep loving the series and waiting I’m just afraid my fire is gonna sputter and die here#and I don’t want that! I want to keep going w this#idk it’s rlly hard to keep brain fuel up when there’s limited food to begin with#blergh.
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wonderlust stuff :]
#jrwi fanart#jrwi wonderlust#jrwi wonderlust spoilers#jrwi spoilers#<- hopefully i’ll remember to take those tags off later but for now it dropped yesterday so still spoiler territory prolly#three episodes in is usually when i start properly doodling for these so i’m right on schedule lmao#i think three or four episodes in was about when i started fixating on the suckening#might upload another version of the colored later! it’s just flats rn obviously but i need to color my shit more so hopefully i’ll finish#that one later :)#the 🤨🤨 is me projecting cause they did Not Notice but to be fair he says bullshit all the time so i wouldn’t either lol#but i was like 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 *vine boom* PAUSE#i love how they were making fun of how chat freaks out every time anything can be remotely considered sus but i know that means chat is#about to do it even more now lol#also real troy drawings this time lol not a fucked up hand drawn joke sprite
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye
#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff#hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this#seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things#like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork#but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating#my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts#like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular#maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well#I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now#I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others#anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period#one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK#Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT#proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy#PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD#all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL#okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3#doodles#sketches#hplonesome art#not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me
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yeah I know Luke’s been running around saying he ‘can be a bit of a pessimist’ but I just wanna give him a little bit more credit than that. he’s been through so much and yet we’ll hear him talking about times that are ‘marred with trauma’ but still he can’t ever regret for getting him to where he is today. this whole year he’s been making an effort to do things that scare him and he even finds hard, he’s been pushing himself out of his comfort zone and doing 1000 solo interviews as well as his shows and last year he went to bogota to film 7 music videos in 2 days and believed he could do it and he did. he talks about mental health related things in such a way that’s filled with acceptance, not complaint or bitterness but dare I say even optimism, dropping horrifying little descriptions to already heartbreaking songs since 2021 and then turning around and saying writing songs is what gets him through it, he ‘wouldn’t have a good relationship with anything’ if he didn’t make them but he’s super proud of himself after and wasn’t put off by how much work it was gonna be even though it did make him apprehensive and he goes and mentions how it wasn’t easy. you look at everything we know of him for the last decade and a half and realise, maybe it was never easy. but someone once described optimism as curiosity + resilience rather than being naively happy all the time in denial of everything going on around. and with that active brain and all the things he figures out while writing all his beautiful songs there’s definitely curiosity there. and with everything he’s been through to keep choosing to be himself and do whatever he needs to do there’s so much resilience. and I’ve seen this spirit in the songs of sounds good feels good and 5sos5, as well as littered through wfttwtaf and boy; every project being a quiet, kinda emo, statement of survival. I’m just one fan with too many opinions but this is something I’ve always loved about the band, and a decent portion of it was always brought to the table by luke and idk I just think we should acknowledge it
#I feel like I’ve been trying to say this for ages—you can struggle with mental illness and still be optimistic and have a growth mindset etc#or cultivate those things if that’s what you wanna work on#didn’t really mean to use luke as an example but oh well#was thinking about the south sydney girlies who go through life with the most debilitating mental illnesses and acknowledge the pain etc#but don’t let it make us think our lives are ruined even if only purely out of spite. and there I’m referring to my friend group of course#can’t draw that link any further but it’s there in the culture and that’s one of my favourite things. plus there’s the whole way when#you’re nurturing neurodivergent kids in an area without heaps of supports you always focus on building confidence in what they’re good at#and I’m forever grateful that kinda summarises everything liz hemmings does and I bet being raised like that is a safety net against a lot#really hope they’re all super proud of that#luke hemmings#5 seconds of summer#5sos#wfttwtaf#boy ep#I’ll have praises for all 4 of them pop up from time to time btw
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So did you ditch sai2?
Im paying child support
#CSP pipeline was inevitable#Born to sai forced to csp#<- Well not really lul I figured it’d be wiser to be accustomed to a program with more features#Although on this blog I tend use magma because it’s a collaborative website where I can draw kiraboss on it live with my frens =)#Sai remains in my heart… It served as a huge foundation for my digital art adventure#I also note that the point I abruptly switched to CSP fully may have marked that point when I eased up on the social media gijinka#And mayhaps lineless as a whole#I still like ms paint though and use it pretty often probably even more than CSP#An assortment of art program waifus to choose from as it appears!#Anywho I’ll find myself revisiting all I’ve mentioned I’m sure#Sai2 remains a great intuitive program. My gratitude goes out to the developer#ask
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Caysi Jons 🏒💥
#TMNT#casey jones#casey jones 2012#cassandra jones#I’m still not very confident with human faces so shoutout to the hokey mask#so so grateful my faves wear a mask#I hope rise gets to come back I want a cross over episode#so sad all the different turtles series have a crossover episode but my two fave series don’t#I’ve been procrastinating all weekend when I should have been working to do this so I should probably go offline now and catch up#the captain is wrong on purpose btw rena gets it#we have come to the conclusion all the Casey jones’ we don’t like are heterosexual and that’s why they don’t past the vibe check#also can I just talk about how I loved 2012 Casey as a teen but his design is so over the top#every time I draw him I add a bit more of his gear but idk if I’ll ever draw his full outfit#that big taser glove…. no thanks#now Cassandra#she gets it#less is more queen you are so right#also btw if you can’t tell any series where Casey is also a teen I ship them with their version of raph#I won’t apologise#also i am not sdmitting how much time i wasted shading and texturing these two images just to put a shadow over it#tmnt 2012#rottmnt#SaveRiseOfTheTMNT
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Wine stains on porcelain
(Alternatively: @katkastrofa and I have created 5 OCs in 3 days and I suffer from chronic “I wanna draw the little guysssssss” disease)
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original characters#I have not figured out a tag system yet so for now this is all they’re getting#their names are liba and abyan and I’m very much obsessed :)#they’re the children of two of our other newest OCs. Himman and Summiya#the latter of whom just happens to be Zaheer’s older sister#but he ran away from home years before these two were born so he most likely isn’t even aware of their existence#I mean. I’m sure he suspects his sisters had children. but that’s the extent of what he knows#anyway#quite a few headcanons came to mind as I was drawing so I’m gonna type them out while I can still function#(haven’t slept for two nights in a row. I’m starting to doubt whether I’m actually alive or not)#Liba is older by about a year but once they grow up a little it’s barely noticeable and people assume they’re twins#over time they stop bothering to correct them because really. they’re so close they might as well be#they were both burn with port wine stain birthmarks on their faces. much to their mother’s dismay#she has a whole perfectionism complex and needed her children to reflect that to maintain the family image#thus they were taught how to hide the marks early on. but the powder makes them constantly sneeze#liba is very self conscious about it bc of what her mother put in her head. Abyan less so bc while he’s expected to be perfect#his future doesn’t depend on his looks. he always tries to comfort his sister whenever she spirals too deep. no matter that she’s older#when no one is around to hear he calls her Lili <3 it annoyed her at first so she dubbed him Yanyan in retaliation#but over time they both grew to love the nicknames and now use them unironically#they’re the ultimate partners in crime. their goal? gaining as much freedom from their mother as possible#and sooner or later they will manage to do so permanently. which will make Summiya fall apart. but that is currently Kat’s domain#speaking of. hi Kat. I know you’ve already seen this in pencil but look! I coloured them!!#the birthmarks were both kinda annoying and rather fun to do. maybe I’ll change them later. I was too tired to look at refs so I improvised#and there’s no detail in clothing since again. 0 energy whatsoever. but once I refine their full body designs I shall go all out#that reminds me I need to go collect my new sketchbook. might do it on the way home from the store#okay I’m getting distracted. is this my very unsubtle way of trying to influence Kat to write that Summiya fic?#maybe. maybe not. you can’t prove anything 😁
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im gen sorry if i dont answer ANY request it takes awhile for me to get motivation to draw these days 😭😭
#i wanna keep this up#but lile its kinda hard when u got a new interest yk? 😭#i’ll still keep doing this account tho…. Hopefully#just a few mins writing this inwanna draw them so i can have motivation again#Okay hell yeah (inwill not draw them /j)#okay i’ll make this rule for myself#i’ll draw ur request if i want to#i will not be drawing all of the requests
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Crawls out of the busyness that has been the last few days. Hi. Florian here. Still dealing with the general sorenesss that comes with travel while disabled. I have three badges now, and we’ve started investigating the fourth titan, but it’s…
We need to train a bit more before we’re at that level.
But! We’ve dealt with the dark type and fire type team star bases, and are planning on heading to check out the poison type base tomorrow. I… still don’t know exactly why Cassiopeia is pushing this so hard, like… team star is disruptive, and they were blocking the roads between cities in a few places… but also so far they’ve just been. Kids? I… none of it sits right with me. Why has no one done anything before us. Why is the director trying to do something NOW but only disguised as a student with a pompadour?? (Why does no one else recognize the guy????)
#gyms go brrr#giant pokemon and magic herbs#hacker has us seeing stars#🌸mod flower#treasure awaits!#yea I know we still haven’t made a post on our current Pokémon#it’s so much to type though :P especially for me! I have a full team now technically. counting Spookss who’s still in Juli’s name#he should be able to evolve soon though!#yknow what#I’ll update our pinned with the newer mons but wait for the info post on all of them when we’re able to#pokemon irl#real pokemon#rotomblr#// hey!!! iiiim back! still a biiit bruised but it’s not the only thing I can think about anymore#//so yay!#//I’m working on a drawing of the whole team and it’s taking longer than I expected it to#// hence putting off the full post about the new team members lol
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I’ve been hitting my ocs with the Disney channelfication ray on Twitter lately
#ocs#arts#I don’t know what else to tag this as#it all started when I was watching gravity falls because man oh man I love shows from my youth#so I was like what if I made my ocs into the oh so hated 2010s cal arts style Azreal already looks like one and BEHOLD this#I’m still working on it#I want to quit my job and become an animator or something work on any cartoon so while the industry is on fire I’ll hone my skills#so I can be prepared#I don’t know how to do story boards and I actually realized I hate drawing like this 😭😭#Disney channel au gets changes as seen above but I think if they were normal they’d fit like Cartoon Network/adult swim#atleast then I can have them be in their twenties/thirties ala regular show#I’m researching and developing (watching Disney channel shows from my youth)#also all of these are on toyhouse I just want to use tumblr more…#I need to use tumblr more… have you guys seen how musk decided he’s above the law and decided to abandon the entirety of Brazil#ESPECIALLY AFTER BRAZILIAN MIKU HIT THE MARKET!!!!
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i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much
#marzi speaks#it’s worse with my brother but he’s doing more to actively work on improving that#my dad however has very subtle internalized ableism that i don’t think he recognizes is there#which is. fun#like earlier. either last night or this morning i don’t remember#i was talking to him about how while ideologically i have nothing against accepting needing help and things like that#in practice it’s very challenging to adjust to being disabled even temporarily. and that if i do end up with a diagnosis that’s gonna be#a lot to handle. both mentally and just with the lifestyle changes i’ll have to make#and he makes a bit of a face and goes ‘i wouldn’t quite call you disabled. i’d just say ‘ill’’#and i just sort of look at him. and i blink. and i go ‘i am physically Un-Able to do things i am normally able to do’#‘i can’t walk long distances at all. i can’t sit in chairs for too long without causing pain’#‘i’ve spent the last 24 hours staring longingly at my computer because i want to draw but am currently Not Able To’#he didn’t argue with me but i can tell he was still unnerved by the idea of picturing his daughter as disabled#also like . illness and disability are not mutually exclusive? several disabilities are or involve chronic illness#i shouldn’t be surprised though. i mentioned considering starting lexapro#and he went on his ‘you’re an adult and it’s your choice in the end but i wouldn’t recommend it’ spiel#(he’s anti-psychiatry bc he doesn’t like the idea of breaking the brain down into smth so purely physical)#(and also doesn’t like the idea of someone being dependent on pills their whole life)#(which i’m giving him some slack on rn bc he is a just-got-clean recovering opoid addict. so)#(btw before any of you say SHIT abt my dad he took his pills legally prescribed for chronic pain and did not abuse them)#(and even if he DID that would give nobody a right to make a moral judgement on him. ok cool)#i then reminded him that my mom takes anti-anxiety meds and they really really helped her#and he just goes ‘true.’ and moves on#king u got some shit to unpack#it’s fine if u didn’t want to start antidepressants when it was recommended to you meds aren’t for everyone#but like come on now. u don’t gotta be so fundamentally against it when literally ur own wife who you adore takes psych meds#anywho my mom handled me making the disability comment much better. she was basically just like ‘ur fear is totally understandable’#‘u have a good support system we’ll help you through it’#which. thanks mom 👍 that was very kind of her to say
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I wish “Dalinar is beefyfat” was a True Canon Fact and not just a thing I’m doing to correct Sanderson’s shortcomings for this shit + I hauve covid. It could be so beautiful if I didn’t have to fight off thirst trap ish Dalinar With Abs fanart from every artist horny for Dalinar but me
#luke.txt#drunkposting#I know I’m outside of mainstream but is it really so hard to give dalinar a big ol GUT. and still draw him scantily clad#I suppose in his blackthorn days you can shade it so there’s a hint of ab#but when you get to washed up dilf era and beyond? FORGET IT BABY there is gonna be a Category 5 Dalinar Tummy Moment#cannot think about Dalinar no shirt soft hairy too long without getting distracted so I’ll stop here#god I wish me from real life was beefyfat but not so badly that I actually work out. sorry. I’m content being noodle arms fat. it’s okay#well I guess they’re not noodle arms anymore cuz of all the me there is on my body#but there’s little to no muscles. you know.
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Erm. Get redesigned/finally given a final design because half of these guys existed in doodles only for months. Yes I will be doing the others just wanted to get these fuckers (directed at 313 specifically) done first :3
#Me when I still am very in love with the concept of like all of the CDs#So enjoy all of the silly little guys (and singular bitchass motherfucker (I hate 313 can you tell))#Fate and narrative#Next areeeee ummmm wsit#3013 2587 1684 1479 and 404. Don’t ask why I put them in that order#And then the final batch will hopefully be: 333 440 2888 and 835-597 (yes that is one CD—there’s this whole thing I’ll explain it if asked)#Oh yeah and one mystery design that will be a shadow in the third page because they haven’t been introduced yet :3#S.K draws
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the boy lost :(
Lost is an understatement. My boy was run over by a steamroller ❤️
#AHSJAHA genuinely though I saw this coming I’m just overjoyed we managed to fight to get him so far /at all/#like he didn’t go out in the first round!! that’s a feat I’m proud of him#it was a bit disheartening waking up and seeing he was IMMEDIATELY like. 80% behind at 400 votes#and like that’s why I didn’t finish the propaganda art I was going to post for this pfft#Apparently they’re going to do a rematch without Rise though!! So I’ll post art for that! 87!Raph can redeem himself I just know it AHA#no hate towards Rise or the folks running this again though AHSJ it was inevitable! this whole thing is meant to be fun !#I might even still try draw something with Rise!April and 87!Raph when I get the time today
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sudden realisation that the thing holding my art back is that I never had an anime phase
#going to find a time machine and get my younger self into death note or smth#I have been driving myself insane for the past few years bc I wanna draw characters but all I know how to do is portraits#I’m trying to figure out how I could recreate smth similar now and tragically I think it does just come down to draw more :/#however! I am also going to try using brushes which will be bad for sketchiness and better for lineart bc I might need to force myself here#I just gotta simplify things down to basic shapes how hard can it be#[has been thinking this exact thing for years and it’s not worked]#I am getting better every time I do stuff I’m just not satisfied bc art is frustrating when you know what you want but can’t get there#god it’s 2am I should not be awake rn but I could draw again tonight so I was taking advantage#endlessly frustrated by hair. why is it so awkward. I need to understand hair better how do I do this#i have a feeling it’s bc I’ve not figured out how to apply the shit I figured out abt volume yet#I’m also getting impatient bc I’ve been trying to do a study thing for some art styles but I decided I wanted to draw ocs instead of that#when I hadn’t gotten to the actually important bit which was. making smth new. but I can still do that#and I ended up doing a different style anyway (someone pls stop me rounding everything make me use high opacity square brush for my health)#the Other problem is I never wanna switch brushes. like I want to use one brush for whole drawing bc the extra clicks annoy me#I wonder if there’s a shortcut to swap brushes#anyway I’m gonna stop complaining bc drawing is fun but god I wish I’d drawn some more pokey mans when I was a teenager yknow#ideally younger. would rlly like to not have to actually think to figure this out rn#I’m probably overthinking stuff anyway honestly and I KNOW I’ll get it if I practice enough but goddamn it is hard to practice#especially when my me insists on making the bad things look better by making it more realistic#instead of figuring out why the shapes aren’t working#OKAY IM DONE WITH THIS NOW. GONNA TRY NEW ART THINGS LATER STOP TALKING <3#luke.txt
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