#no real reason and oh. to feel human again. to have access to things like patience and impulse control.

[portmantaur]

I do think that when properly medicated, I probably seem/act more annoying, but I think mostly i just hate myself less, and so I am more Outwardly Cringe because I am not constantly shrinking myself in the hopes that I will only expose the most palatable parts of my personality.

It is much easier to subscribe the philosophy that not all parts of me have to be for everyone, and that sometimes people will see my presence and not take interest or be off-put by it, and those same people might then again a day later see my presence and be glad, at least for a second, that I am still around — or that this single part of me is still around

And that’s good enough, I think. And also I love you and I’m glad you exist.

[rockalillygirl]

Mamma mia here we go again…

So I have more thoughts because apparently there’s no bottom to the murderbot mindhole I’ve fallen down.

(Spoiler warning- minor stuff from several of the books, pls check tags etc.)

I’ve been reading a lot of things recently exploring Murderbot as an unreliable narrator, which I think is a cool result of System Collapse (because we all know our beloved MB is going through it in this one). There’s also been some interesting related discussion of MB’s distrust of and sometimes biased assessment/treatment of other constructs and bots.

And I’ve been reading a lot about CombatUnits! And I want to talk about them!!

Main thoughts can be summarized as follows:

We don’t see a lot about CombatUnits in the books, and I think what we do see from MB’s pov encourages the reader to view them as less sympathetic than other constructs.

I’m very skeptical of this portrayal for reasons.

The existence of CombatUnits makes me fucking sad and I have a lot of feelings about them!

I got introduced to the idea of MB as an unreliable narrator in a post by onironic It analyzes how in SC, MB seems to distrust Three to a somewhat unreasonable degree, and how it sometimes infantilizes Three or treats it the way human clients have treated it in the past. The post is Amazing and goes into way more detail, so pls go read it (link below):

https://www.tumblr.com/onironic/736245031246135296?source=share

So these ideas were floating around in my brain when I read an article Martha Wells recently published in f(r)iction magazine titled “Bodily Autonomy in the Murderbot Diaries”. I’ll link the article here:

(Rn the only way to access the article is to subscribe to the magazine or buy an e-copy of the specific issue which is $12)

In the article, Wells states that MB displaced its fear of being forced to have sex with humans onto the ComfortUnit in Artificial Condition. I think it’s reasonable to assume that MB also does this with other constructs. With Three, I think it’s more that MB is afraid if what it knows Three is capable of, or (as onironic suggests in their post and I agree with) some jealousy that Three seems more like what humans want/expect a rogue SecUnit to be.

But I want to explore how this can be applied to CombatUnits, specifically.

We don’t learn a lot about them in the books. One appears for a single scene in Exit Strategy, and that’s it. What little else we know comes from MB’s thoughts on them sprinkled throughout the series. To my knowledge, no other character even mentions them (which raises interesting questions about how widely-known their existence is outside of high-level corporate military circles).

When MB does talk about CombatUnits in the early books, it’s as a kind of boogeyman figure (the real “murderbots” that even Murderbot is afraid of). And then when one does show up in ES, it’s fucking terrifying! There’s a collective “oh shit” moment as both MB and the reader realize what it’s up against. Very quickly what we expect to be a normal battle turns into MB running for its life, desperately throwing up hacks as the CombatUnit slices through them just as fast. We and MB know that it wouldn’t have survived the encounter if its humans hadn’t helped it escape. So the CombatUnit really feels like a cut above the other enemies in the series.

And what struck me reading that scene was how the CombatUnit acts like the caricature of an “evil robot” that MB has taught us to question. It seems single-mindedly focused on violence and achieving its objective, and it speaks in what I’d call a “Terminator-esque” manner: telling MB to “Surrender” (like that’s ever worked) and responds to MB’s offer to hack its governor module with “I want to kill you” (ES, pp 99-100).

(Big tangent: Am I the only one who sees parallels between this and how Tlacey forces the ComfortUnit to speak to MB in AC? She makes it suggest they “kill all the humans” because that’s how she thinks constructs talk to each other (AC, pp 132-4). And MB picks up on it immediately. So why is that kind of talk inherently less suspicious coming from a CombatUnit than a ComfortUnit? My headcanon is that I’m not convinced the CombatUnit was speaking for itself. What if a human controller was making it say things they thought would be intimidating? Idk maybe I’ve been reading too many fics where CombatUnits are usually deployed with a human handler. There could be plenty of reasons why the CombatUnit would’ve talked like that. I’m just suspicious.)

(Also, disclaimer: I want to clarify before I go on that I firmly believe that even though MB seems to be afraid of CombatUnits and thinks they’re assholes, it would still advocate for them to have autonomy. I’m not trying to say that either MB or Wells sees CombatUnits as less worthy of personhood or freedom- because I feel the concept that “everything deserves autonomy” is very much at the heart of the series.)

So it’s clear from all of this that MB is scared of CombatUnits and distrusts them for a lot of reasons. I read another breathtaking post by @grammarpedant that gives a ton of examples of this throughout the books and has some great theories on why MB might feel this way. I’ll summarize the ones here that inspired me the most, but pls go read the original post for the full context:

https://www.tumblr.com/grammarpedant/703920247856562177?source=share

OP explains that SecUnits and CombatUnits are pretty much diametrically opposed because of their conflicting functions: Security safeguards humans, while Combat kills them. Of course these functions aren’t rigid- MB has implied that it’s been forced to be violent towards humans before, and I’m sure that extracting/guarding important assets could be a part of a CombatUnit's function. But it makes sense that MB would try to distance itself from being considered a CombatUnit, using its ideas about them to validate the parts of its own function that it likes (protecting people). OP gives what I think is the clearest example of this, which is the moment in Fugitive Telemetry when MB contrasts its plan to sneak aboard a hostile ship and rescue some refugees with what it calls a “CombatUnit” plan, which would presumably involve a lot more murder (FT, p 92).

This reminds me again of what Wells said in the f(r)iction article, that on some level MB is frightened by the idea that it could have been made a ComfortUnit (friction, p 44). I think the idea that it could’ve been a CombatUnit scares it too, and that’s why it keeps distinguishing itself and its function from them. But I think it’s important to point out, that in the above example from FT, even MB admits that the murder-y plan it contrasts with its own would be one made by humans for CombatUnits. So again we see that we just can’t know much about the authentic nature of CombatUnits, or any constructs with intact governor modules, because they don’t have freedom of expression. MB does suggest that CombatUnits may have some more autonomy when it comes to things like hacking and combat which are a part of their normal function. But how free can those choices be when the threat of the governor module still hangs over them?

I think it could be easy to fall into the trap of seeing CombatUnits as somehow more complicit in the systems of violence in the mbd universe. But I think that’s because we often make a false association between violence and empowerment, when even in our world that’s not always the case. But, critically, this can’t be the case for CombatUnits because they’re enslaved in the same way SecUnits and ComfortUnits are (though the intricacies are different).

There was another moment in the f(r)iction article that I found really chilling. Wells states that there’s a correlation between SecUnits that are forced to kill humans and ones that go rogue (friction, p 45). It’s a disturbing thought on its own, but I couldn’t help wondering then how many CombatUnits try to hack their governor modules? And what horrible lengths would humans go to to stop them? I refuse to believe that a CombatUnit’s core programming would make it less effected by the harm its forced to perpetrate. That might be because I’m very anti-deterministic on all fronts, but I just don’t buy it.

I’m not entirely sure why I feel so strongly about this. Of course, I find the situation of all constructs in mbd deeply upsetting. But the more I think about CombatUnits, the more heartbreaking their existence seems to me. There’s a very poignant moment in AC when MB compares ART’s function to its own to explain why there are things it doesn’t like about being a SecUnit (AC, p 33). In that scene, MB is able to identify some parts of its function that it does like, but I have a hard time believing a CombatUnit would be able to do the same. I’m not trying to say that SecUnits have it better (they don’t) (the situation of each type of construct is horrible in it’s own unique way). It’s just that I find the idea of construct made only for violence and killing really fucking depressing. I can’t even begin to imagine the horror of their day-to-day existence.

@grammarpedant made another point in their post that I think raises a TON of important questions not only about CombatUnits, but about how to approach the idea of “function” when it comes to machine intelligence in general. They explain that, in a perfect version of the mbd universe, there wouldn’t be an obvious place for CombatUnits the way there could be for SecUnits and ComfortUnits who wanted to retain their original functions. A better world would inherently be a less violent one, so where does that leave CombatUnits? Would they abandon their function entirely, or would they find a way to change it into something new?

I’ve been having a lot of fun imagining what a free CombatUnit would be like. But in some ways it’s been more difficult than I expected. I’ve heard Wells say in multiple interviews that one of her goals in writing Murderbot was to challenge people to empathize with someone they normally wouldn’t, and I find CombatUnits challenging in exactly that way. Sometimes I wonder if I would’ve felt differently about these books if MB had been a CombatUnit instead of a SecUnit. Would I have felt such an immediate connection to MB if its primary function before hacking its governor module had been killing humans, or if it didn’t have relatable hobbies like watching media? Or if it didn’t have a human face for the explicit purpose of making people like me more comfortable? I’m not sure that I would have.

Reading SC has got me interested in exploring the types of people that humans (or even MB itself) would struggle to accept. So CombatUnits are one of these and possible alien-intelligences are another. All this is merely a small sampling of the thoughts that have been swirling around in my brain-soup! So if anyone is interested in watching me fumble my way through these concepts in more detail, I may be posting “something” in the very near future!

Would really appreciate anyone else’s thoughts about all of THIS^^^^ It’s been my obsession over the holidays and helping me cope with family stress and flying anxiety.

[louiesselfshipramblings]

Straw Hat Headcanons! (And selfship eligibility cause like this is a selfship blog still)

Monkey D. Luffy: Nothing really major. Just darker skin to reflect his Fantasy Brazil heritage, and frizzier hair. I don't wanna say just what Iñaki Godoy looks like, but...yeh, what Iñaki Godoy looks like. Self ship eligibility...no shade to peeps who do, love ya, but I see my boy Luffy as AroAce king. Man was immune to a fruit literally EVERY man was vulnerable to, and he didn't even realize it! On the scale, 0/10 [for me personally].

Roronoa Zoro: Yeh similar to Luffy. Prob darker skin, but him being Japanese, I get a paler complexion. Also he is def a closeted gay man for Sanji. Gonna be so cool when they find the One Piece and the two make out. Very progressive and cool. Tho he's not my type; too emotionally unavailable, and passes it off as being "cool". Fuck you, Zoro! But I still love your goofy ass. Be silly again! 1/10

Nami: NAMI!!!! She should be FAT!! She should be BIG!!! She should be able to eat everything she wants now because she's a free pirate, goddammit!!! And she should still be seen as beautiful cause she's a Straw Hat!!! LET HER KILL PEOPLE WITH HER CLIMATE BATON, YOU LET HER DO THAT IN PUNK HAZARD AND NEVER AGAIN ODA WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!! (Can you see who I made this list for. Shush, it's a secret.) I was late on the Nami train tbh, but when I hoped on I hoped HARD. Nami is so wife...I wanna make her happy...I get it, Sanji...now move it and let me date her! You can have Zoro! Oh, and I could personally see her as pan. 11/10

Usopp: Please. Come on. You know what I'm gonna say. Usopp, my boy...he needs his melanin back even though he barely had it in the first place in both anime and manga but sshhhhhh. The boy's South African, and is explicitly played by the clearly black Jacob Romero Gibson. I suppose Oda is bad at coloring and all, but I see you Toei. I see you still keeping Blackbeard black while making Usopp paler. Racist ass studio...also, no donut lips. I'd still say he'd have thicker lips, but not exaggerated to that, and if it don't work with the style, don't have em, no biggie. And Oda CAN draw Usopp without them cause he DID when he drew Jacob AS Usopp in that promotional letter, SO WHY DON'T YOU DRAW USOPP MORE LIKE JACOB NOW, ODA!?!?!? Ahem...I feel Usopp could be a bi boy. Genderfluid, or maybe in a way to boost his ego. You understand. Personally, I feel I would have to be very lucky to get with GOD Usopp, but maybe, just maybe...6/10.

Sanji: Tbh, he got off most easy for the New World redesigns. Really only switched his bangs and grew some beard. Kinda ugly but in that charming way, ya know? No real changes, he can be the Straw Hats local white boy. Just...please tone down the pervness. I was joking with the Luffy-Iñaki stuff, but please, make Sanji like he is in the live action. I will say he's been on good behavior since Fish-Man Island, so...I'd say Sanji is bi, maybe gay, but I find it funny the hypotheticals that a bi Sanji would be useless cause he couldn't hit men or women. But anyway Sanji is the reason Zoro comes outta the closet and they kiss at the end. But for me...he's not my type, but less not my type than Zoro, so...2/10

Tony Tony Chopper: Oh, Chopper. Poor, poor little thing you. Salty was right; Enies Lobby was the last time you were allowed to be interesting. Tho, I agree, with all the New World upgrades, I suppose controllable Monster Point was the one thing he needed...I mean I feel accessing his other forms without the Rumble Ball is fine enough. Maybe like...semi controllable Monster Point? I dunno. I feel his New World design cutes him up too much...reduce the hat down a bit and keep the goofier face he had from Drum Island, aka the best damn arc in the manga, argue with the wall. Man, I really hope he gets some cool shit when his Human-Human Fruit awakens, RIGHT, Oda!?!? Oh and self shipping? Uh...that's a child. -1/10

Nico Robin: Robin...oh, I love you. Not as much as Nami as I've come to realize, as she's a bit more my type but gosh I love Robin. She's been gettin a lotta love recently, for obvious reasons if keepin up, which I like. Main things with her is bring her bangs back (which the manga is already doin for super emotional reasons), and like Usopp, give her darker skin! Doesn't have to be as dark as Usopp, but some darker complexion would be nice. "But it was a tan, she's Russian". A tan she had for TWENTY YEARS? And only lost over a TWO year time skip? There can be black Russians. Toei inadvertently cooked early on and they were cowards for reversing that. I make it secret I enjoy thicker women, but honestly I think Robin works better as a lanky beanpole. Not to the...proportions Oda draws but def lean and tall. Good contrast to her buff hubby Franky. For fits, I'd really liked to see her wear more mom-style fits, or back to Cowboy Robin. Cowboy Robin was peak, argue with the wall. I feel she could be pan, maybe demigirl? Feels right with her powers, oddly enough. And like yeah, she's my fave behind Nami for Straw Hat self ship. 9/10

Franky: Franky is already SUPER perfect as is, and even his New World style has grown on me. Buuuuuuut...ugh, the shoulder pads...too much. I get he's top heavy, but that's just a bridge too far. I like his forearms being bigger, those should be kept. And maybe less "meaty"/thick fingers; I like em big, but it's funny he has a second pair of small hands in em. Def some more mechanical detail over his bod. His default hair should also go back to the pomp. I like the gimmick he changes it each arc, but the standard buzzcut kinda sucks. Like actually. You gotta understand, I consider pre-time skip Franky perfect character design. Legit, Oda peaked with him. Franky, def bi, but I could see him being trans! Maybe a bit on the nose with the whole "rebuilt himself" background, but it could work! Robin too, tbh. They can be t4t. Not my preferred, but cute! As he is, Franky is def a hunk. I like em big, yeh, and would prefer him fat strong, but strong on its own is nice. 7/10

Brook: Oh, Brook. Poor, poor Brook. It would have been so much better had there been another full arc between Thriller Bark and Sabaody to really get you with the crew (whichyoucankindaachivebywatchingFilmStrongWorldinbetweenTBandSAbutanactualbreatherarcbeforethetimeskipwouldhavebeennice), but even then you are still the best Straw Hat. Again. The wall. Suppose it's made up for the fact he's with the gang for the whole arc even before officially joining, which hadn't been done since, like, Usopp on Syrup Village, damn. But yeh! Like Franky, I kinda consider Brook's pre-time skip design peak, and his New World fit...bad. I get what it's goin for, but it's too many ideas! I feel Oda realizes that cause a lot of Brook's fits have been just his old look (Dressrosa, Whole Cake, Onigashima), which is nice. Skeleton in a suit and top hat, it's a classic. I like the crown hat tho for the "Soul King" aesthetic, but maybe smaller. More top hat than crown. And maybe he can just have themed suits, ya know? And yeh...like Sanji, turn down the perv elements. Like, it was funny the first two times cause "Haha, a skeleton asked for WHAT!?" but it lost its luster after that. At the very least, he's been on good behavior; last he did it genuinely was Punk Hazard I think, but he also pulled it on Big Mom at the end of Whole Cake is a genuinely awesome way (makes sense in context). Also, I feel Brook should be black. I get he's a skeleton now, obvs, but I dunno. Feels right for the Soul King. I have a feeling he'd be asexual—not out of choice, but...ya know—and maybe some level of agender? He is a skeleton after all. Who knows what being like that does do your personal perception. As a partner...eh. I love him, but as a friend! I'd wanna be a string duet with him! I feel Brook should be with a very specific type of person, ya know? Not that he's not my type, just I'm not for him. 3/10

Jimbei: Honestly, I'm not as madly in love with Jimbei as everyone else is! Yeah, he's great. Great in Impel Down, Fish-Man Island, Whole Cake, Wano. He's great! But I'm not drooling over him like some peeps are. And hey, more power to ya! Not much I'd change about his design...maybe make him thicker? Like, fat fat! Around the arms and such! Make him look like a strongman; would contrast nice to Franky's more bodybuilder-inspired physique. Maybe show off him being a lil older too? Gray streaks in his hair, hair a lil frizzy? Idk, just rambling. Tbh, Jimbei is either gay or straight. Feels right for him. As for me...he'd be a decent catch. Get it. Cause. Fish? Heh...5/10.

And that's em all! Granted, I have a few other, bigger OP crushes. Not many more (Perona, Law, Lilith), and I could include some honorary Straw Hats like my daughter Vivi and the cool boy guy man Yamato and maybe Lilith again cause I have theories tee hee hee. But eh, wanted to cover the main crew, so if I do wanna cover the others, I'll do it in a reblog. Who knows.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #405

I had a weird dream that I don't remember very well. Something about needing to rehome all of our cats, for reasons I can't recall. I do, however, remember crying a lot.

Weird.

Today I scoured through the website for state jobs, looking for ones that I qualify for. I found a bunch of potential openings that I can maybe fill. But... I hit a roadblock. Apparently, a non-trivial number of them want me to attach a record of my unofficial college transcripts.

In order to get those, I need to access my college email, which I don't remember, because it has been like 13 years since last I've used it. I tried to get that info, but to do that, I need a PIN, which I also don't remember. So I tried to follow the process for that, but the PIN was sent... to the email address of an old high school teacher, because I didn't have my own email address back when I applied.

Sigh.

So I contacted the IT department over there to change the personal email address associated with my data over there (because I'm a big adult human now, with my very own email address and everything). But in order to do that, I need the address of where my mother lived at the time I applied, which I also don't remember.

...Sigh.

So I guess I'll go in person tomorrow; thankfully, the place where I gotta go isn't very far. I suppose I'll get it done after the orthodontist appointment, which is after physical therapy. So... tomorrow is probably gonna be pretty busy.

Aside from that, I... probably spent more time reading the news than I should have. The state of my brain right now... isn't great. Watching one's country descend into fascism in real time is really not good for the blood pressure, lemme tell ya. Still, what can I do aside from trying to keep my chin up and trying to be a source of support for those who need me?

We got burgers today. And I'm staying hydrated. In fact, I'm gonna get more water in like 10 minutes. I should probably eat again soon, too. Though admittedly, everything seems like it's either too much, or kinda gross.

...I wonder if you've experienced this. You wanna eat, but your body has decided that all food is illegal. Or maybe your body wants all the food, and can't choose, so it would rather sit, paralyzed and hungry. I'm in these states with some frequency. And, as insane as this is probably going to sound, sometimes I am in both states simultaneously, and the results are very weird, to say the least.

...Oh well. Maybe I'll ask M and J for suggestions or whatever, when I go down to get water.

I thought about playing Hades, but it feels incorrect. Continuing work on the crafting project also feels incorrect. I'm trying to get my brain to figure out what does feel correct, but it's being... uncooperative. I'm not really sure why.

On the bright side, I did get some pretty good pictures of the sky today. Here, check 'em out. I took one with the lamppost in front of me, and one with the lamppost behind me...

I decided to get pizza with mushrooms on it. I also got garlic naan and tzatziki sauce to dunk it in, and macaroni and cheese bites. They'll arrive soon. If they're pretty, I'll take pictures.

While I waited for the things to arrive, I decided to do some leisure writing, and I got clarity on a thing that has been bothering me for... gosh... a very long time. There's this thing I've been trying to do, and I thought I've been doing it wrong the whole time, but... actually I wasn't doing it wrong at all. I'm just not used to moving within the space, which makes it a little hard to navigate. But... I think I have a slightly better understanding of what I'm supposed to do. I guess time will tell me if I'm right.

Anyhoot. Here are the snacks we got...

This was a pizza with onions, mushrooms, and alfredo sauce:

This was a pizza with sausage, apples, and candied pecans:

These were gouda macaroni and cheese bites with garlic parm sauce:

...And this is tzatziki sauce made with goat milk yogurt, with some garlic naan:

...There are so many delightful things in my world. I wish you'd pop by someday so I can share them with you. Even though it's impossible, think about it anyway, okay?

I think I will sink a little more into some leisure writing; it's been a while since last I've done that, and it might explain why I've felt so disconnected from various things.

Today's letter is short. Sorry about it. With tomorrow being so busy, maybe I'll have a little more to write to you by then.

Please stay safe and healthy out there, Sephiroth. Please do your best to make choices that won't lead to you disappearing. Because I love you, and... I don't want to imagine what my life might have been like if I hadn't had your example to look to when I was struggling the most.

I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[itsclydebitches]

You know I don’t have a problem with the relics in theory but maybe they should have been naturally displaced items from the…(I forgot the name) “Wonderland”. I think one of the worst things in the course of the story was the introduction of the god brothers. Not looking forward to the team saying a whole speech between the four of them being holier than thou with the deities. Also the Maidens shouldn’t exist. Not without some true purpose cause semblances are already plenty strong and better

I feel that, anon, and I personally hate how none of this fits together now. RWBY keeps adding more worldbuilding that just complicates an already underdeveloped world:

Characters have aura that protects them/heals them from physical harm. At first it seems like everyone's got that - and they technically do - but it needs to be unlocked to work and after showing that once around episode 3, it's never relevant again.

Aura is distinct from Semblances, special powers that let you do cool things by controlling some natural force.

This is distinct from Dust which is substance that also lets you do cool things by controlling some natural force.

Not everyone has a semblance and not everyone has access to Dust. What determines - from an individual and class perspective - who gets what? Not important.

Oh, also one semblance is randomly inherited, but no one cares to unpack that.

Oh, also, also one semblance is randomly The Worst Thing Ever, but no one cares to unpack that either.

Semblances can also evolve! This will happen at random points and will only be tied to the narrative structure in the loosest sense.

Now, semblances can evolve again... maybe. If you're Ruby, anyway.

All of this is how Remnant naturally functions. It's a magical world.

Sike! Actually there's real magic and it's distinct from Semblance magic because... uh. Idek anymore.

Four women are able to wield real magic because a singular magic user gave humanity that ability generations ago.

He got that ability by being a part of Humanity 1.0. Why did the Gods drastically change the skills humanity had access to the second time around? Unclear.

Oh yeah, there are Gods too with their own shapeshifting/creation magic, completely unlike the magic they gave to people.

They did, however, give four random, real-real magic objects to help ("help") one guy with the worst group project in existence.

So at least we've got this settled then, yeah? For however messy everything else is, the Gods are the top dogs who dispense real-magic/semblance-magic to everyone else.

Sikex2! They're actually from another world that functions completely differently from the one they created. They're the product of a third type of magic, which is even more convoluted than what Remnant's got because it functions under Wonderland logic -- AKA, no logic at all.

This includes the real top dog (for now): a Blacksmith/tree lady we meet for a grand total of 10-ish minutes, making miniature people and letting go off into the multiverse to wreak havoc.

That's too much worldbuilding with too little development! Once upon a time a nonsense world birthed two super powered beings who decided they wanted to be Gods. They go off and create a group of people with magic distinct from their own. Then they wiped them out, creating a second group with another distinct magic structure (that supposedly isn't really magic), but remnants of the first group remain. So the world is now populated by everything from "I'm an NPC with nothing going for me" to "I have a super power" to "I have super powers, but not the cool individualized kind" to "I have the real magic super powers" to "I'm a device from a literal alternate reality" and all of it is mushed together without rhyme or reason so that fights are impossible to get invested in now due to the lack of consistency. Are you fighting another normal super powered person? A weaker version of that without a Semblance? A god-like being wielding real magic? A transforming cat possessing the most powerful character on screen? The answers don't matter because Ruby is going to win regardless by swinging her Normal Fighter Weapon around.

Meanwhile, I miss when wielding Crescent Rose was actually SUPER impressive against the grimm, rather than a "How are you even winning nowadays?" puzzlement against the new backdrop of elite forces and magic and godhood.

[ssa-dado]

hiiii hope you're goooood. I'm so in love with your incredible Symposium series!! I just wondered if you ever considered putting it on ao3?

It's obviously your decision how/where you post anyway but just curious because well frankly, I'd love to put it on my kindle to read/re-read it and if I'm reading a new chapter, my tumblr app closes and I have to find my place again haha sorry to ask and I hope you don't feel pressured by this - it's honestly just curiosity.

I'm normally late to the fandoms and only seem to join them months/years later but I'm so grateful I'm here to same time as Symposium ❤️ being able to see the excitement from your teasers, moodboards, timeline and then the new chapters make me feel so included in this Hotch world so thank you so much for writing. I love seeing your passion for Hotch and especially for writing, it makes me so grateful to be one of your readers here for the journey with you ❤️

Thank you!! xx

Hi gorgeous!!! Sorry for letting you wait so long!!!!!

Premise: this is me - an absolute boomer in spirit, and yes, I’m cringing at myself for being so ignorant. And sorry for using the smaller font, but this is going to be a lenghty one.

First of all, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT TO RE-READ THE SHIT I POST?????? WHAAAAAAT? HOW. WHY? But seriously, thank you for even saying that, I'll be crying for 10 minutes straight because of it.

Alright, straight to the juicy part. I’ve always been someone who rambles - it's who I am at my core - and that shows in how I write (I'm thesis, antithesis but without the synthesis... ok that was the worst joke I've ever made in my life).

I chose from the start to lean into fewer chapters but make them more substantial, rather than splitting things into double or even triple the number of chapters with fewer words per part (I mean, let’s be real, as much as I love a good slow burn, even I’d feel embarrassed to hit chapter 40 without so much as an “on-screen” kiss). It’s not the most user-friendly choice, I know.

The reason I waited so long to post on AO3 is, well… I’ve been hesitant maily because I’ve never used it before. I’ve also read about some really awful experiences people have had on that platform, especially with reader-writer interactions, and it honestly scares me. Tumblr feels like a safe space, filled with amazing, supportive people, and I never want to jeopardize that.

Navigating AO3’s tagging culture feels overwhelming, and as a people-pleaser, the thought of messing up or disappointing someone genuinely stresses me out. I already struggle with knowing if a chapter has enough fluff to warrant the tag or if the angst is really angsty enough to qualify. It's just feels like too much...

But I hear you about the tracking issue, and I want to help. What if I start breaking down the chapters into smaller parts? For example, a longer chapter like c.11 (which I think is around 8k words?) could become 11.1, 11.2, and so on?! That way, it’s easier for you to find your place without getting lost in the length.

And if your Tumblr continues to crash, I post them on Wattpad. I know my way around that platform - it’s familiar, less stressful for me, and I’d feel more confident posting there than on AO3 for now.

I know already it’ll be tedious to reformat and re-edit everything (because Wattpad loves to strip all my italics and bold text whenever I try to copy-paste) but if it feels easier for you to navigate, I’m more than willing to put in the work. I just want to make it as accessible as possible for you.

Let me know what you think, and if the deal works for you.

Now, onto the second part of your message - YOU'RE A CRAZY HUMAN BEING. Symposium... a fandom? Oh no no no no no no no. That would be way too overwhelming. Just the thought of it makes me want to crawl under a blanket and never come out, I’d have a breakdown before I even opened my laptop. I barely know what I’m doing as it is HAHAHAHAH

But seriously, thank you.

I wouldn’t have half the courage or energy to sit down, fry my brain cells, and try to string together the right words, themes, philosophers to butcher, or storylines if it weren’t for you. Your interactions, your input, they mean so much more than I could ever properly put into some stupid words.

It might sound a little strange, but I genuinely remember every single account that pops up in my notifications. Whether it’s a like, a reblog, or a funny comment, I notice it all, I'm the panopticon. I’ve definitely stalked every one of you at some point (in the most wholesome way, I promise)

If I could, I’d send every single one of you 3kg of handmade pizza to even begin to express my gratitude.

Truly, thank you.

For everything.

I'm sending you the biggest hug AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[hurrl]

For the ship bingo, Kalani and Corbeau even tho I already know please feed my delusions 🕺

Oh Kalani and Corbeau 😌 KALANI AND CORBEAU 😫😫

No bingo, but I have to explain them in case anyone is interested 🤭

There's just something about them that scratches the brain nice and good. Maybe it's because they're a real classic, complicated slow burn. That's just bound to happen when someone like Corbeau is thrown into the mix, this is a person who truly truly truly see's humanity as the lowest life forms. I mean, they're livestock, they're profit, they're food. How can you get from a mindset like that to romance? Not with insta-love! No, it's a delicate process that takes time ⏰️ and a whole lot of patience.

Then you take his mindset and pair it with someone like Kalani, someone who loves people and loves to love despite whatever occurred in her past. She's a captive who is chatty! Not only for self-preservation reasons (trying to gain info/get on Corbeau's good side, ect.), but because she's just a talkative person! It's her nature! Besides, Corbeau is a guy who *is* accommodating to his captives, so why wouldn't she ask for a few extra things here and there?

Kalani is always so thankful 😌 they build a small back and forth, and after a few weeks, she starts getting more privileges. In a few months, she had whole house access! And wouldn't you know it the urge to kill her has dissipated 🥳 but that doesn't mean anything. He doesn't *love* her, but he doesn't want to let go of her either. It's a graduation from livestock to housepet 🙄. They're still trying to figure each other out- Kalani trying to understand why she's there and Corbeau trying to understand if Kalani's friendly behavior is genuine- I feel like they have a lot of meaningful conversations at this time.

A few more months pass, possibly even coming up on a year since Kalani was captured. There's still a healthy distance between the two, but these two have a routine with each other. They do housework together, they can make the other laugh, Corbeau will watch Kalani dance, they're housemates! Finally, Kalani asks why she is there, thinking it was because Corbeau was lonely in some way- maybe, could it be that he wanted someone to love 😳?- but when she learns the truth (girly-pop you were gonna be dinner), she retreats.

It gets really depressing for a bit 🥴 (the good shit 👌) the house becomes quiet without Kalani's chatter, without the tap tap tap of her practicing ballet in the next room, it's like living with a ghost. For the first time ever, Kalani does feel TRAPPED. She wants to leave and live her life- because obviously there's no shot at one with Corbeau- and Corbeau may or may not pick up some heavy drinking IDK 🤷‍♂️. I do know he has a lot of feelings in there that he needs to work out!

NOW THIS IS WHERE THE STORY CAN REALLY SPLIT OFF. But my personal favorite scenario is Kalani starts to seek Corbeau out for comfort because, although he is the source of her distress, he's also the only person she has. She is climbing into his bed and sobbing into him late at night. And I know that that tugs at that boy's heart in some way, and I know HE DOESN'T GET WHY 😭😭😭. In seaching for comfort she kisses him (😏 oh the scandal) That's when she really falls for him, and she decides if he wants to eat her, that would be okay 😗💅 So she asks if he will and he says NO 🙄 (cause if he eats her she'll be GONE) so she tries again and again trying to convince him that it's a good idea and that she *wants* to be eaten, explains that she loves him and so on.

The answer is still no 😌 AND WHY IS THAT CORBEAU, HUH?? 👁👁 USE YOUR BRAIN.

But Kalani's pushy about it, her kisses become more aggressive in the hopes that he'll just bite her, get a taste of her blood, and decide that eating her would be a good idea 🍽!

ITS SO GOOD!! I LOVE A DELUSIONAL WANTS TO BE EATEN KALANI AND I LOVE THAT CORBEAU DENIES HER THAT like wow okay man, evil 😒 cruel. You can't let her go, you want love her, you won't even eat her JUST END HER ALREADY-

More stuff transpires, but this post is getting LONG.

They're so good, rolling around in my brain like two marbles that occasionally clash. IF THEY WOULD JUST COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER-

But where's the fun in that 🤭 they gotta suffer a little before they can get to the good part and it's SO WORTH IT.

[blogfortheblorbosfnafdca]

Fnaf daycare attendent x reader on my mind today, I may have plenty of other writing projects I'm working on, but damn I do get some little inklings for them.

Honestly I don't even know what kind of au I'd write, I mean I love the more robotic aspect of the attendent. Both Sun and Moon struggling with the restrictions of Fazco is very tasty to me, I eat it up with a spoon every time. I like the readers who interact with them at the pizzaplex, either as mechanics, assistant attendants and so on.

One has gripped me more so recently. Bones-of-a-rabbit started it with their fic honestly, and it's an intriguing concept, a reader who is a staffbot. Call me a bit biased because I first got into the hype of the daycare attendent x reader thorough bamsara's fic. Joe the gas station bot is a noteworthy note. But I do love me some staffbots.

So an idea started forming after I watched markipler play help wanted 2. It's nothing I've really sat down and fleshed out, but I do like to expand it every now and again. I consider it my little thought project. Spoilers ahead. Also this gets a bit existential and angsty.

In one of endings it shows that the human becomes the mask bot in fnaf ruin. And there's this weird thought of, did the two switch places? Is the being swapped under the control of the whole virus thing? Can this process happen with anyone?

That's when I thought of, what if reader staffbot accidentally became human? At first they are ecstatic because now they don't have to worry about getting deactivated and they can do whatever they want now...right?

But they find that being human, while it has some perks, has even worse downsides than they couldnt have anticipated from just watching humans. Like for example, getting sick, joint problems, limbs can't be replaced easily, only one body, pain from anything, etc. What makes this worse is mainly the fact that now they don't have anyone they're familiar with anymore, the human family they end up apart of isn't their's, the friends that surround them are unfamiliar, the people they do know are all back at the pizzaplex and they won't recognize them as the staffbot they knew.

The reason why they wished to be human, becomes something of regret, because in losing the bots they cared about all they wanna do is reverse it. For mine in particular there's no way to do so, I don't know how it becomes irreversible, it's possible that it comes from Fazco's doing of erasing what they can of the glitch, which is the thing that even let the reader swap in the first place. They feel even more guilt because they also understand there was a human they swapped places with, which means their possible death or life stuck as a staffbot is their fault.

So they mourn their losses and decide to get to know their friends in the pizzaplex as a human. In hopes to create a better life for their friends as they have access to things they don't. And really? End goal? Probably helping them escape, because even if they couldn't escape as a staffbot without consequences, they'll make sure nobody else has to.

I don't know if this is like a rebuilt pizzaplex or an entirely new establishment. I don't even know what to do with this really, but I like unpacking 'becoming a real boy' trope. Also I have never seen it explored in this way I suppose, not with the 'Oh this is great cause I'm human now' like, c'mon, human bodies and living life as a human does have some real shitty things to deal with. We have some perks, but like would a robot really want to give up the ability to replace body parts for exact same body parts if needed? Or the fact that they can figure out problems faster because they don't have to worry about memory problems? A little bit of a ramble, I digress.

But yeah, I honestly would like to make this into something more, but right now I got other fanfics and I'm swamped with life right now, so my creativity is taking a hit. I've been playing around with this concept in my head for a while, just never executed it. If this ramble gives inspiration to you, please do @ me, I'd love to see what you've come up with!

[catonator]

Marketers are Morons

E3 is dead, but suits still need to get their fix for both their crippling gambling addiction and their exhibitionist fetish somewhere, so you know what time it is! It’s… a random weekend in June.

That’s right, with no real reason or cohesion to onlookers, this just happens to be the exact moment when all the executives could no longer hold it in and had to bust all over Twitch, which is much easier nowadays thanks to the camwhore apocalypse. As such, we have a fuckton of new trailers and other assorted trailer-like homunculi to pour over as the good little consumer piggies we are.

But the past few years, the ads have seemed increasingly unlikely to stir any excitement. Trailers are more cookie-cutter than ever, and actual gameplay reveals are a disappearing art. And much like last time when I complained about gaming news, all the developers actually making the games are mysteriously absent. Yes, you read that right, this blog has continuity now! Look forward to the blogomatic universe announcement later this year.

Looking back at E3s of old, these new events are cheaper, more condensed, more accessible and entirely controlled by the corporations and not vulnerable to the oh-so-familiar gaffes of live shows. Yet they still happen just as rarely as E3. Somehow the genius executives at the top have decided that, you know, instead of letting people know what’s happening more often and spreading the games accordingly to give them all room to breathe, we stuff even more crap into a shorter timespan and as a result nobody even remembers what we saw two days later.

Confoundingly we’ve decided that now gameplay reveals are also trailers. Both Perfect Dark and That Indiana Jones Thing Because Disney Has To Stay Relevant™ had “gameplay reveals”, but both were some sort of amalgamation of gameplay clips strung together and overlaid with the same piano-inception horn trailer music trash every other trailer was full of. Why even bother? Just cut out the middleman and show us a CGI video clip at that point for all the difference that makes.

I’m honestly a little confused about what all the suits even do all day. They’re paid exorbitant sums of money and all they can come up with is the same shit all their friends and THEMSELVES have been doing for years. Does the marketing team also double as the company’s cocaine quality assurance wing? Presumably the business school all these clowns come from is equally tilted in their goals, since I’d imagine “don’t immediately shoot your product in the foot” and “don’t make your product look as undesirable as possible” would rank fairly high on a business 101 class’ Don’t-Fuck-It-up-o-meter. Alongside wisdom like “don’t burn all your money like Heath Ledger in the Dark Knight”.

I feel the early onset Old Man Syndrome setting in again. Last time it was gaming magazines/news, this time it’s gaming events. There’s another one about marketing and gameplay gifs on social media that I think I’ll save for later. It’s a little frustrating that consistently I hit the same issues with the consideration of “it worked so much better before, what the fuck happened?”

Many complain about E3 et al. being just loaded advertising breaks, but the truth is, even in a moneyless society marketing would still be needed to let people know your artwork exists. A marketing campaign doesn’t just exist to sell you on something monetarily, but also timewise. Even if a game was free, the time commitment still means that you’ll filter out a lot of art unless you know it’s worth your time.

It’s a little disappointing that a theoretically better and more accessible system still makes me miss the haphazard cringefest that was E3, but a well oiled marketing machine also completely lacks the humanity that this medium so sorely needs right now. So please, bring it back. E3 needs to exist for this industry’s long term survival.

And also the E3 bingo cards. Those are the most important bit.

[vacantgodling]

oof okay. i didn’t think i would have to make a post talking about it but this may be my general blanket statement about it and hopefully i don’t need to make a hard and fast rule about this topic (for myself).

generally speaking, idgaf if minors follow me. i used to yeah—and i used to try and censor my blog and shit i posted because i knew i had, essentially, kids following me (why they were, no fucking idea but that’s the main reason i deleted my old blog and made this new one here because i was getting so stressed out about it) and i just didn’t want to be held responsible for “exposing them to shit” or something like that.

however. like. it’s my space, it’s my area, and i was (before) making myself miserable worrying about fucking children so i decided that i’m just not gonna do that anymore. and generally speaking, since making this blog i haven’t. when i was a teen, i followed and interacted with adults on the internet and i was fine. and i know i have some followers/mutuals/friends that i’ve known since they were younger and i didn’t feel weird about talking to them or anything. it’s good for kids to have outside adults to talk to etc etc but that’s not why i’m making this post.

basically, i’m making this post to say: if you are going to be a teenager/young adult (like 16-19) and you decide to follow me i need you to understand that i’m an adult, i talk about adult things (not just sex btw i mean just like. i’m for the exploration of dark topics in media and it will show up in my work occasionally) and that is your responsibility to navigate.

basically what i’m saying is, and bless this person’s heart. i just had a young teen/adult gimme a follow. and usually when people follow me, i do a quick scroll check to see what they post, if i want to follow back, etc etc. but the first post i saw on their blog was them rbing a very… shall we say young and on the internet opinion against a nuanced post that i personally rbed on my side blog myself without the take that this person rbed on it. just as a tldr the original post said basically “dark topics in media should exist and can be a tool to help people know what it looks like and identify it in real life so they can be able to navigate and stop this shit from happening irl.” like. a basic sentence and take (to me). this is obviously not saying you Have to go seek out media that makes you uncomfortable to read it if you don’t want to, but i’ve seen the notes on that post and i’ve seen and heard people talk about how having access to media that discussed their situation helped them themselves either come to grips with it, or to identify that it was happening or happened to them. it’s a nuanced take, and it’s one that i (personally) agree with.

yet the comment they rbed is the usual argument you see from someone who is not able to think about a situation broadly. the standard “oh well i’ve experienced csa before so i don’t need to see what it looks like” which again, tapping the sign, this is not for you then, and you don’t have to read books that explore those topics if you don’t want to. but the fact of the matter is: you aren’t going to know what everything looks like that is the breadth of the human experience—positive, or negative. shutting yourself off from potentially experiencing it via reading (a safe place) isn’t going to help you help anyone or have a complete understanding or opinion about it aside from this knee jerk reaction which is the antithesis of the post. and when all you (the person i’ve blocked btw. idk if it’s hard or soft and i don’t care really) have to add to this conversation via tags is “oh op probably made this post to justify jerking it to mha porn” then i need you to understand you are too young to be following me.

i trust people to make their own decisions. but i don’t really understand when people follow me and then have opinions like this. (hell there’s a lot of people who follow me where i don’t understand Why because it doesn’t seem like what i write would be in their wheelhouse but i can’t and won’t police people from reading my shit if they want to) however when i see stuff like this especially coming from a youngin’ i just don’t want to deal with that. because i know one day i will probably post or talk about something nuanced and i don’t want to invite a potential “callout” or “cancel culture” or freak out in my notes or argument in my inbox i’m just not doing it.

so at this time i’m not making a rule that i don’t want minors/youngins following me, again, i don’t care, but if you are going to like please please please actually understand when you don’t need to be following an adult with opinions that make you uncomfortable for your own sake.

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Corrupted, Chapter Three: D.B. Copper of the Demon World - a Malevolent x TMA crossover

Tim. Do as I say. And the way John says that confirms everything.

It’s uncompromising. It’s not a suggestion. It’s a command, like commands are really this thing’s nature, and he’s been making an effort to keep that under wraps until he knows how Tim will respond.

Tim thinks, Or maybe none of this is happening, and I’m hallucinating a dom in my head because I stroked out and I’m dying on the bathroom floor.

AO3

———

After all that pushing, all that swagger, John suddenly seems hesitant. The  Magnus Institute?

“Only place I know of, since I don’t think we’re going the psychic chat-box route,” Tim says. 

They have… something of a reputation.

Picky-ass demon. “Sure. For spooky shit,” says Tim. “Not going to read me the results? Fine. Siri, dial the number.”

John seems even more hesitant. I think this could be a mistake.

The lack of physical keyboards is such an accessibility issue, Tim thinks, and resolves to do better being loud about it. “Is my finger over the one?” 

Tim, there has to be someone else.

“I don’t know anybody else. How do you know their reputation, anyway? Look—maybe they can at least direct us to someone who can help.”

John sighs. Very well. I can see you’re determined, and your choice could be worse. Yes—your finger is over the one.

”Dire,” Tim observes, presses the one, waits for the beep, and speaks. “Hi, my name’s Tim Stoker. I, uh. I need to come in and talk to you people about something.” He suddenly realizes he doesn’t know what to say. That he’s hearing voices? Well, they were sure to take that seriously, weren’t they? “So. Um. I guess I’m showing up tomorrow. Bye.” He hangs up. “Fuck,” Tim mutters. “We’re going to have to go in. They won’t listen if I just ramble at them over the phone.”

Well, this should be interesting, says John, sounding resigned.

“What will ?”

The Institute. I know what Power it calls upon.

Tim stiffens. “What? Power? What do you mean?”

There is a moment of hesitation. I think this will be all right, soothes John. Upon consideration, I believe I am safely unidentifiable in your eyes.

“Sure. Okay. That’s not spooky times at all.”

You should take it easy, Tim. You need to be in top form tomorrow.

“Yeah.” He swallows hard. “I don’t know how to do this. I can’t see.”

I will take care of you, Tim,says the voice, fond and warm and now slightly possessive, and Tim is not comforted at all.

He feels like some horrible dragon swooped in, looking for his brother, and claimed the lesser version because the better one wasn’t available.

Maybe “dragon” isn’t far off. “Let’s circle back to something. You are definitely talking like you’re not human.”

I’m not.

“Right. What are you, then?”

A friend.

Tim rolls his eyes. “I’m not six. Come on. What are you? Fuck, what else is there besides humans, anyway?”

Again, that dark, amused eagerness. Quite a lot.

“So here’s where I try very hard not to assume you’re some kind of demon, or evil wizard, or dragon, or something,” says Tim. “Or maybe the Devil himself. ”

The laugh. It really is something. Are those our only options?

“How should I know? You don’t exactly give off fairy vibes.”

The voice gentles. No. I am not any of those things, nor or all of those things real. 

“Oh, so some of them are? Great. So what are you?”

I feel comfortable discussing that at a later time. If we talk about it now, they may see it in your mind tomorrow, and prefer the safety of anonymity.

“They’re going to read my mind?”

It is a possibility, yes.

Right. Right. This continued to be horrible. “Oh, and your identity is the big thing, is it? What, you’re the D.B. Cooper of the demon world?”

That laugh again. Not exactly, no.

Tim sighs. “Well, whatever. They want The Erotic Adventures of Tim Stoker, they’re welcome to them,” he mutters. “So what did the book say about getting my sight back?”

Nothing I will tell you now for the same reason. However, know that it is possible, if challenging. For the moment, our souls are entangled—like necklaces kept carelessly in a drawer.

Souls. There are souls. 

Tim rubs his face. He can’t even process the enormity of this. “Not my favorite answer, if we’re honest?”

Tim, I’m trying to protect you. There are things in this world no human is meant to know—things which, if learned, can cause a psychic break. It’s one of the reasons I had to be sure you’d only opened the book to its beginning.

“And you could tell that, how?”

By which runes were last accessed.

Geez. 

Tim frowns. “Why doesn’t this thing have a fucking warning on it?”

Oh, it does… but unfortunately, time has passed, and languages are lost. The symbol on that cover would have been enough to prevent anyone from opening it, in the past.

Tim only vaguely recalls it—a weird, three-hook shape, made of metal. “What, they can’t rebind it without dying, or something?”

Correct.

“it’s that dangerous? Well, that puts us in a spot, doesn’t it? Because someone is going to have to help me with that book tomorrow. I can’t just hand it over if it's going to break someone or kill them, can I?”

So you’re clever, not just handsome. Good. That will make this easier.

“And that’s a deflection,” says Tim.

You will not hand it over. You will hang onto it. Besides, unless I am completely mistaken about this Power—an impossibility—those at the Magnus Institute will be able to handle this book. To be frank, I have a different concern right now.

“And that is?”

Tim, how secure is this location?

His heart clenches. “It’s a house. Just… just my parents’ house.” It had never truly felt like his. “I’m supposed to finish packing it up. It’s been sold. Right, because you needed to know that,” he muttered.

Your parents no longer live here?

“Dad’s been dead since I was fifteen. Mom went three years ago from a heart attack. And my brother was just murdered, in case you forgot.”

I did not forget, Tim.Soothing. Smooth.

So damn smooth. Suspiciously so, really. “I… it’s fucking late. I don’t…” He lets out one little sob. “I don’t know what to do. I want to call Danny. I can’t.”

He died very recently, then?

“It’s not even been a month.” Tim’s voice breaks.

So you’re in grief, on top of all of this. The voice goes smooth again. You’re going to be all right. You’re not going through this alone. 

Either John was genuinely compassionate, or he had already figured out how Tim responded to his voice and was using it like a tool.

Tim knows which one it is. It’s not a good feeling. “Why were you in a book?”

Does that matter?

“Yes.”

I’ll tell you after we leave.

“Leave?”

I don’t feel safe, Tim. I’d assumed we were in a place with protections, and that assumption is on me. When you opened that book, there was essentially a signal sent out, like a flash of light. We need to leave, Tim.

Tim sighs. “My apartment isn’t far, but I’m blind. I don’t even know who to call for help.”

We’ve wasted too much time. We need to leave now.

Tim stiffens. “The cultists, or… whatever you felt from the Magnus Institute?”

Something. I’ll guide you.

“I don’t know.”

Tim.

“So I’ll go and call a rideshare. Usually takes about fifteen minutes out here.”

I don’t think we have time.

“What? We’re in a rush, now? It’s nearly midnight!”

Tim. Do as I say. And the way John says that confirms everything. 

It’s uncompromising. It’s not a suggestion. It’s a command, like commands are really this thing’s nature, and he’s been making an effort to keep that under wraps until he knows how Tim will respond.

Or maybe none of this is happening, and I’m hallucinating a dom in my head because I stroked out and I’m dying on the bathroom floor, he thinks.

Tim.

“Sorry. Sure. I… fuck. I can’t finish packing this place blind, anyway, right?” he says, standing.

Distinctly less patient now. I’m sure a friend could help you do it. Now, move.

Yeah, Tim’s pretty sure he could get this “John” good and mad quite fast.

He feels for the book. “Where’s my backpack?” 

To your left. There.

Book in, zipper up, house keys in hand.

Tim wonders if whatever this mess is will kill him. He wonders if he should care more about that than he does. He sighs. Rubs his face.

Tim.

“Fine, fine. You better not walk me into a wall, or something.”

The tone changes. We’re not alone.

Tim goes still. “What?” he whispers.

And he hears something.

A scratching. A sniffing. A weird sound just at the front of the house, as if something also blind was trying to find the opening by smell and touch.

Tim freezes. He has never heard anything that alien in real life. He has never known this sour spike of adrenaline, filling his mouth, making his hands tingle.

Is there a back door?

Tim is already moving, and he curses softly as he bangs into another side table he’d pulled out of place earlier while packing.

Quiet. 

“You be quiet,” Tim mutters, but tries to move more carefully.

Is John scared? Sure sounds like it. That is not comforting.

Tim reaches the back door. His hand is on the knob when the front door bangs open as though hit with a truck.

He gasps, cringing out of reflex. It’s followed by a deep sound, a growl, triggering every panicked chemical his lizard-brain has ever produced, and Tim suddenly feels about six inches tall and very afraid.

Tim!

More sounds. Something crunching. It is in the house.

Tim! MOVE! That was a roar, and it was inside his head, not behind him.

Tim slips out, closing the door behind him. Then he crouches on the back stair, clinging to the knob like a life-raft and shaking, and gasping, and frozen.

Your breathing is too loud. You’re going to give away our position.

“Fuck,” whispers Tim. “I’ve never run for my life before, okay?”

The slightest pause. The voice is even less patient. You’re doing fine. Now turn the fuck around and let me see where we are.

Inside the house, something crashes.

“Oh, gods,” Tim murmurs as he looks, fully on his knees now. His arms have gone weak.

Damn. That fence is too high. We’ll have to slip around the front.

“Sure, no problem, I’ll just slip around the front while totally blind. This’ll work great,” Tim mumbles.

Keep it together. We need to get away from here before they realize where you went.

Tim pictures the layout back here. He thinks about the windows, shades all up, curtains removed, lights bright and yellow in the night.

He crawls.

Good. Turn right. A little less. Good.

So at least he wasn’t going to ram into the house head-first.

The grass is half-dead, stubbly, and some of it is sharp. He hisses through his teeth, palms hurting.

Hurry.

“I am!” he whispers back.

Okay, stop. Lean forward just a little and let me—oh!

Tim doesn’t breathe. 

There are creatures going in and out of the house. They’re big; eyeless. Wolf-like jaws. Dark gray skin without fur or hair. Bipedal, though their front claws look prehensile. 

Tim makes one low, choked sound. “What the hell are they?”

Hunters. Servants of terrible things. Tightly: Next time I tell you to move, you need to do it faster. We were almost caught.

Tim frowns. Yeah, they were going to have to talk about this bossiness, or whatever it was, but this was definitely not the time. “Sure. Whereto?”

Something in his tone must give his irritation away, because John goes smooth again. If you reach the sidewalk and go left, we can get away from them. I suggest walking, not running. Try to stay calm. They will chase us if you act like prey. They will feel us and seek you out.

Oh, good. That was normal.

Tim reaches the sidewalk, and as he chooses to stand—to make himself more visible in order to be less obvious—he reflects that he’s never felt so brave in all his life.

There’s another crash in the house behind him.

Somehow, he walks, and doesn’t run, and remembers (barely) to breathe.

Easy. Adjust to your left. Very good, Tim. You’re doing fine.

“Don’t think I am,” says Tim, but he keeps walking. “Rideshare?”

I wouldn’t. The risk of having to wait in one place is too high.

Tim could tell the driver where to meet him up ahead, but the challenge of attempting that via an app he cannot see is suddenly too much. Just too much. “You know how addresses work?”

I do. Amusement again.

Tim could shake him. “Here’s mine.” And he walks, and John directs, and they take the long way back to his box-filled apartment.

#

John had no trouble navigating them back to Tim’s new rental (which doesn’t feel like home, but nowhere does).

Tim has so many questions. They feel bottlenecked in him, like panic has made the exit too small.

“Home, sweet home,” he mutters, locking the door by feel, switching on the light by habit, and walking blindly into his living room.

The first thing we’re going to—stop!

It came a second too late, and Tim trips on a box. “Ow.”

When I tell you to stop, you need to fucking stop.

There’s that impatience again.

No time like the present, he figures. “Look,” says Tim. “I’m probably in shock, or whatever, but we need to lay some ground rules. You may be a magical scary whatsit, but you’re in my head, and I’m the one with the body. You’re obviously used to bossing people around. That isn’t me. We’re sharing this situation, and I’d like a little more respect.”

Would you.

That was completely flat. Unreadable. A warning tone.

Tim’s not in the mood for taking shit right now. “It’s not a lot to ask.”

No, I suppose not, says John, still unreadable, still flat. Perhaps I should lay some ground rules, too.

John is absolutely building toward a tirade or threat or something. It’s like a trembling under the floor, warning of an approaching train.

Whatever.

Tim makes his way to the bathroom, hands out, finding boxes with his toes. “Yeah, well, go on, then,” he says. “Get it all off your chest.”

Tim, do you like being alive?

Oh, so they had gone from zero to sixty in two seconds flat. Cool, cool.

Out of habit, he turns on the bathroom light.

That grieves him because, of course, it’s pointless, and he leans in the door frame, feeling haggard. “Sure. Alive is just grand.”

There’s the tiniest pause.

So do I, says John, and he’s back to smooth. The flatness is gone, rage diverted, leaving a mental breeze in its wake because it had been so huge and heated. However, we will not be able to stay alive if you are going to be obstinate simply for the sake of being obstinate. Anything I tell you to do is for our mutual good, Tim. You’re going to have to trust me.

And Tim can absolutely feel that was not where John had been going to go.

John had changed directions. Gone from direct threat to… something else. Why?

Maybe it was because John got a look at his face in the bathroom mirror. Tim feels distinctly pitiful, not obstinate, and that probably shows. 

He sighs. “I’m not trying to be obstinate. I don’t know what’s happening. I’m afraid. This is… Look, three hours ago, I would have sworn in a court of law that magic wasn’t real, and there were no souls, or anything else. And here we are! All of a sudden, everything I know is wrong, and now I have to be afraid for my parents and my brother because there’s souls, and what the fuck does that even mean, and monsters are trashing the house I grew up in. I’m not doing great. All right?”

His cheeks feel tacky from tears, and he feels his way to the sink to wash it.

Of course, Tim. I understand. Sin and melted chocolate, all in his tone.

“I don’t like being manipulated, either,” Tim says, softly.

Who does?

Well, that was a response of some kind. Tim lets it go. “What time is it?” He shows John his phone.

Two thirty in the morning.

“Right. Am I safe to sleep? Can I do that?”

You should be. Nothing followed us here, though if you open that book again, I’m sure we’ll draw something.

“What book? I have no book. You’re talking nonsense.” He turns on the shower.

Then he considers turning off the light.

This was awkward. In fact, there were going to be a lot of awkward moments in a shared body with eyes he couldn’t control.

But in the dark, he’d have to try to find things entirely by touch, instead of John just saying, Shampoo is six inches higher, and that seems like a lot of work right now.

Tim sighs.

Do whatever you have to, Tim. It’s not as though I’m unfamiliar with bodies. Even human ones, says John with an eerily good guess.

Or maybe with experience. Maybe John had done this before, and knew what to expect from the start.

Tim files that away for later. “Yeah, well, you’re not the one putting on a peep show for a ghost,” he says. “Fuck it. We ball.” He strips and gets in.

It feels very good to wash off. He was positively rank; whatever happened when he opened that book had really put his body through it.

“So you’re not a demon,” he says, rinsing his hair.

No.

“Genie?”

Tim, I’m not going to tell you until after the Institute.

“Sure, sure,” says Tim, who might just be overtired, but he’s beginning to feel like maybe he handled all of this… okay, given the circumstances. “But a guy’s got to guess. I mean, unless you’re actually Satan, I don’t care that much. I just want to know.”

I am not actually Satan.Such amusement.

“Shame,” says Tim. “That voice would go great with horns. Like Tim Curry in Legend.”

John snorts.

Tim notes that John doesn’t ask what that is or who, and files it away for later, too. “Towel?” 

To your left. There.

“Thanks. So. Am I going the wrong way? More Tron, less Tinkerbell?”

Tim…

That is a sort of fond exasperation—something Tim is very good at creating—and he awards himself a point. “You’re a simulation? A.I. and nanobots, that kind of thing?”

For now, let’s just say a being.

“Ominous! Also vague as hell.” Towel hung, Tim marches out of the bathroom, nude and uncaring. “I’m still picturing horns, since you didn’t say otherwise. Kitchen?”

You may picture them, but think ‘antlers,’ branching toward the sky like lightning. More to your left. Boxes on both sides.

Also noted that John is too vain to let ‘horns’ go. (And possesses a level of inhumanity that is frankly upsetting, but Tim will not deal with it now.) “I hope you like peanut butter. I haven’t gone shopping yet.”

I won’t taste anything you eat. All I share is your eyes.

“That kind of sucks, doesn’t it? Though I guess it means if a monster chomps down on me, you won’t feel that, either.”

I won’t. But I will die if you do.

If true, that meant John would try to keep them alive. All right. “I don’t even remember if this place has curtains, or if I pulled the blinds, or anything,” says Tim with great cheer. “Hello, world.”

They are closed. You’re suddenly in quite a good mood.

“Probably the adrenaline. Or, just, you know, the whole surviving certain death thing. That was always Danny’s deal—adrenaline junky. I never saw the appeal.”

Yes. Danny… Do you know how he got involved with cultists?

“Nope. He always did normal crazy things, I thought. Mountain climbing. Skydiving. Sailing stupid distances.”

He sounds quite brave.

“He wasn’t, though?” Tim feels along the counter and finds the bag of bread left out a million years ago, when he’d had breakfast in a world he understood.

How so?

“You’ve got to feel fear to be brave,” says Tim. “He didn’t really feel it. Did all those crazy things just to feel something, you know?”

So you’re quite different.

“Can’t tell if that’s an insult,” Tim says, mouth full of sandwich. “Refuse to take it as one.”

Mm. I’m glad to see you’re eating. Who knows what kind of day we’ll have? You’ll need to keep up your strength.

Tim chooses to ignore the weird eagerness in thatdelivery. “I, for your information, want nothing more than to get good and drunk and pass out, but I won’t because I’d sleep late. I mean, the plan is to show up at the Institute when they open. Siri said eight a.m., and Chelsea is like… an hour from here by bus. Um. I don’t know where the mattress is.”

Not going to brush your teeth? John sounds amused.

Tim smacks his lips. “Yeah. Should. Help?”

He is directed.

“Do beings brush their teeth, too?” he says, fumbling for toothpaste.

No. We have spells for such things.

“Fucking convenient,” he says, and commits an act of oral hygiene.

He knows the peanut butter jar is low, which is a sign, he thinks. He has to get groceries soon, and he’ll need to see to do that, he thinks.

He can do this. He chooses to believe he’s going to get help tomorrow, and all of this is nearly over.

And then… what? Back to emptiness and job searching? Back to reaching for his phone to call Danny and remembering too late that he’s gone?

That thought does not feel good, but any concern he has that he won’t be able to sleep fades the moment his face hits the pillow. Falling asleep is like literal falling, taken by gravity and stress, and he is out.

[jeneelestrange]

Hell, I can distinctly remember as a five year old child tying my kidnapped Barbies to chairs and that making me have feelings downstairs that I, uh, did not quite understand yet or know how to quantify(Oh no, we have to ban damsel in distress narratives!!! *eyeroll*). It obviously shouldn’t be acted on at that age at all, but those body systems are—like EVERY OTHER BODY SYSTEM—connected to the rest of your body in complicated ways and it’s LAUGHABLE to think something that complicated is going to come online all at once. Sure, we need consistent general laws, but there also needs to be a little bit of nuance regarding the human body and it’s psychology and INSANE COMPLEXITY, and the fact that anyone thinks it can EVER be reduced to black and white rule AND NOW YOU WILL BE BOMBARDED WITH SEX is insane. These people somehow think they’re SO DIFFERENT than conservatives, but it’s the SAME REASONING and black and white thinking that gets us no sex education and raped middle schoolers dropped off at hospitals who are only told “here’s where you’ll get your baby” and the poor nurses have to try their best to fit a lifetime of knowledge in a short amount of time to make what’s about to happen SOMEWHAT less horribly traumatizing

Not to mention the idea that you’re not “fully mature” until 25 is….reductive and considering that there’s a real life Republican running for President RIGHT NOW who thinks 18-25 should have their right to vote taken away from them unless they can pass the same citizenship test that immigrants take OR serve in the military???? Like WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TAKE MORE AGENCY FROM PEOPLE???? If this is because of older people taking advantage of people just barely out of teenagerhood, YOU CAN BE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF BY ANYONE WHO HAS MORE POWER. This happens to disabled people in relationships ALL the time too, are we going to yet again insist they shouldn’t have their own agency????? If a POC gets screwed over by a white person in a personal relationship because society is set up to make that easier, are we reacting by taking away the POC’s fucking AGENCY TOO?????

But I’ve noticed this same EXACT group often does the same thing with children learning responsibility and consequences for their actions—that because brains and laws and blah blah blah “but I’m a minor uwu” we can’t expect the tiniest amount of accountability for any minor’s actions ever whatsoever. Respectably, as a former teacher, that’s literally how you end up with children completely ill-equipped for the world and likely to end up in prison. How do you think it’ll work out if I thought “you don’t need to learn physics until 12th grade, your brain isn’t ready until then, it would be inappropriate to teach you anything about that until then” and then taught you NO SCIENCE your entire life, then crammed all the science leading up to physics that year, how do you think you’d do? You think that would be a good idea? No, you’d be fucked. You’re introduced to small amounts of personal responsibility that fits your developmental level. And you’re given sex education when you enter puberty so you know what’s happening and don’t think your period means you’re literally dying, and before that you should be taught about personal space and bodily autonomy and how to report someone violating that to make sure you don’t get CSA’d. And yeah, young people deserve to have some safe private space to be horny and shouldn’t be shamed for what science has known for how long?????—they need to have parents who knock, time in the shower, private diaries, access to safe sex resources, and a parent who they know they can ask questions without shame. Expecting them not to have a sex drive and giving them no safe outlet when you know damn well science has told you they are is warmed over conservatism

i think its verrry weird how you started posting nsfw posts and reblogging porn the minute you turned 18 idk

I hate to be the one to tell you this but I have been actively extremely horny since I hit puberty when I was like twelve years old. Human development does not work like "absolutely zero impure thoughts until you reach the designated legal sex age, where you have until 25 to finally learn what a boob is, and then 25+ you're allowed to have consensual sex 😊 because 19-25-year-olds are basically minors". I also can tell that the underlying idea in this ask is that I, and anyone who begins posting nsfw when they turn 18, was somehow "groomed" into it, when the fact of the matter is that I have been very naturally gay horny for years and waited until I was 18 to explicitly post about it because THAT'S how you keep yourself safe. You don't pretend to be a delicate sexless angel with the mind of a five-year-old who's never heard what sex is just because you're seventeen. I am a human being with sexual thoughts and I'm now a legal adult who is allowed to post about them. Realize that there is a difference between external adults "waiting until she's 18" and someone waiting until they themselves are 18 so they can go out and buy porn, which they've wanted to buy for years.

This is an extremely reductive, reactionary, infantilizing, and conservative way to speak to me. Don't even pretend you have progressive sexual politics if you think like this. Fuck yourself I'm so serious. No one ever speak to me this way again

[theskyexists]

Reading ancillary sword because I love enlightened authority

Weird how ships with ancillaries and humans are seen as equivalent here...

How is breq spying on Kalr 5 when she's back at the station, the station that hates her . Why did Anaander never before experiment with ships as commanders...the whole superiority complex no doubt

The problem I have with this series is that sometimes things happen and it never becomes clear what or why. Generally bc the narrative tries to build up a disappointing mystery in confusing dialogue

Why did Esk take all the medicine and then say: eh I just did to give Tisawarat some of that. Who would believe that? Why would Esk do that? Medic could have done that. Esk didn't need ALL meds to give Tisawarat an ibuprofen. So wtf.

Anyway Tisawarat is clearly altered - some sort of brain implants yeah

So confusing when the dialogue does a double without name marker. I have to infer that it was Medic speaking AGAIN because the response seems to have an indication that it's Medic speaking even though the preceding paragraph was Esk's. Surely an editor should have seen this

A Mercy's crew is tiny huh. How did they ever conquer planets.

It's interesting that Esk apparently put all the ancient songs into local storage not JoT's

So Medic WAS the one who gave Tisarwat the ibuprofen. And Esk then confiscated all the medicine. Instead of ordering her not to give any meds. This dialogue was soooo hard to follow and incredibly unnecessary

Its an interesting soldier-lieutenant relationship sketched here. So intimate

So why is Esk being a bitch. Is that the way to trigger a. Are you serious. 'oh I don't wanna be seen as unreasonable and a bitch ass captain. So I'm gonna treat that decade like shit for no reason they can see'....dude .... And this is the fourth time that the narrative hides the reason why. Dude ...just. get it over with. I'm getting annoyed

How has Esk taken 2000 years of memory along in local memory actually

Wait hold up....is 'kneeling to you' a euphemism for clientage or is it a euphemism for sex or is it both and is sex actually implied in clientage something which I never realised in book 1??

SEIVARDEN HAS HAD SEX WITH AN ANCILLARY???????

Ah... It attended to the sexual needs of the ancillaries that needed it - that is to say that would feel more comfortable that way...

Is the implication that Seivarden asks her soldiers to sing the children's song for Breq?

But hold up. I never realised that fraternisation between officers was so acceptable. I mean. FRATERNIZATION.

What did soldiers even do when ancillaries were around to do the cleaning

So Tisarwat/Aanander took the medicine? Surely that would have been insanely stupid I mean that's a big fucking tell. Why not simply let Medic administer meds. Ok so that speculation didn't happen but was a dumb speculation

Aanander mianaai...gave Breq the highest authority but then attempted to place herself undercover on the ship - knowing that she'd get kicked into the void immediately if she didn't hide it. Why? I guess she couldn't convince Breq to do anything without giving her a real hierarchy to command. But can't she codeword Breq

Nice to see her shittiness (even this one's) immediately emphasised. Killed the baby lieutenant

You're telling me you can make ancillaries their old selves again??? By taking the implants out???? Hello???

This again: oh no sedation no way

Next bit: we finished and dosed her with sedatives

THIS IS CONFUSING. I know what you mean after a beat but goddamn

WHAT. IT WAS COMPLETELY UNCLEAR TO ME THAT LIEUTENANTS COULD ORDER SEXUAL SERVICES FROM THEIR SOLDIERS - NOT JUST ANCILLARIES BUT ALSO HUMANS????

How what where

So tisarwat died when they inplanten Anaander. Somehow didn't bodily die when they took them out. Is now probably a strange mix of the two without access to all of the memory.

Loving the careful weaving of this foreign military religious culture with it's strange intimacies

So who is Tisarwat now huh

Karl Five wears some Mercy implant?

Loving loving loving loving this shit. Man I love this shit so much.

Empire, 'civilisation', police brutality

Esk's PERFECT handling and insight of these things and cultural nudges and showing the captain again and again

She's literally going: I am gonna change the Radch with my own fucking hands

LETS GO LETS FREE THE PLANTATION WORKERS GET THEM A UNION FUCK YEAH!!!!!!

God. I didn't think I'd say this but Breq is actually really attractive in this.

Tisarwat is totally fine now? What?

The focus on food and rations and leftovers as due to superiors' inferiors is so clever for a spacefaring people also so intimately military

'transportees' from an annexed planet made to work on plantations. Uh. Slaves?

I cannot follow what's going on with Tisarwat. With which I mean, it's presented so boringly

Ok so. Clientage IS A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP. HOW HAVE I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT IN THE FIRST BOOK? WHAT THE FUCK. Ok so not necessarily. But having a sexual relationship might imply clientage and benefit. And the military is supposed to be to some extent a meritocracy so promotions due to that are not proper or just. Yeah yeah.

Ah. Breq's relative slow feeling out and support of Tisarwat's recovery seems to be deliberate. It was such an extreme statement: to say she was DEAD and then be like: actually look she's right here doing officer things just kinda depressed and having lots of knowledge.

TIRSARWAT LIKES BREQ AS A PATRON BC SHE SAVED HER FROM BEING A FUCKING ZOMBIE DUH. Awwww tearful rejected seventeen year old baby. It's sweet

Wait. Breq thinks she's got the hots for Basnaaiad. What. I thought she was trying to do something for Breq to solicit clientage. ????? Either I am misreading things (likely) or Breq is which would be hilarious but kind of impossible I guess

It might have something to do with the Anaander in her head.

'you don't understand' Tisarwat says. Yeah I think Breq has jumped to conclusions here

You can switch your implants off??? Such flexibility in this totalitarian state

Tisarwat literally immediately took Breq's suggestion and ran with it immediately towards the place where the elite's kids all go to sit and drink. Wtf

Why is Breq in this book convinced that it wasn't Presger intervention that tripped Anaander up? It was. It knows that! Garsedd was orchestrated by the Presger.

Ok well ... It turns out that Aanander mianaai was already here I think. The other one. Must have reasons to antagonise the Presger. Or maybe it's just unfortunate instance of Raugh being racist and trying to get people killed and once again, idk, automated imperial racism killing people

Administrator Celar...seems ok. But why would Breq put itself out of commission for two weeks...

WHAAAAA Bisnaaid is in love with Celar???? OH MY GOD THE DRAMA THE ROMANCE oh Bisnaaid isn't actually head Horticulturalist. Dammit

Damn she just actually instantly crushed hard on Bisnaaid??? Why??? Breq was right???

But Ship WILL tell you if anything important happens. They're just standing around in the command room doing shit all.

This planet seem so sparsely populated

The matter-of-factness of how it is presented that the Radch captures slaves for labour from annexed planets...ripping them from their home entirely and placing them deliberately in only dozens separated from geography people family and sometimes even ttime...

Ah. I'm a bit sad that these books keep going out of their way to not just do the above and say: look how fucked up eh. But ALSO always put a wrench in how the empire is 'supposed' to work as a 'meriticracy'. It's not just slavery - no - that's ok - but also these slaves have not been given the opportunity to become citizens, so that's bad. Let the horror of empire working perfectly as it should stand alone....

Why would Seivarden be asking the informationless Amaats about the fleet captain. Ah. Some advanced ancillary imitation. If Breq doesn't approve it could just forbid it...

Clearly no one but Mercy knows that Breq has instant listening in bugs placed on all of them

HOLY SHIT THE HOUSE WAS A TEMPLE. THEY PLANTED TEA IN A SACRED VALLEY.oh ok it's not so bad. Well the tea growing is

Is the Notai resistance alive on the other side of the Ghost Gate?

Always surprised to see soldiers treated like servants. And so explicitly of a lesser than person status

It really is kind of EXTREMELY fucked up that none of its crew including Seivarden know that Breq can listen in on ANYTHING and DOES.

Tisarwat remembers killing Awn I think. She's not crushing on Basnaaid. She feels a similar sense of obligation to her ....I think. 'yearning'. Tisarwat keeps yearning. And obliquely complimenting Breq to Basnaaid. I think the crush on breq theory isnt fully off the table. I mean look at Seivarden. Being saved really gives people complexes about you breq!!!

I wish I had grief rituals. Wish there were rituals. That said: you've done right by them.

Lol. Aanander MIGHT have come along if breq hadn't kicked her out

Tisarwat didn't even THINK to grab some soldiers for protection. What an idiot. But a good move if deliberate perhaps. She's becoming a good leader. Helps to get flushed with 3000 years of experience and remember some of it

It's pretty horrific and counter-Radch to simply ancillary Citizens left and right bc u 'have to'. Pretty crazy though that Aanander never seems to have done it before. Must we assume that Aanander is taking over every fleet captain? Feel like the ships won't like that.....

Lots of rape by these landowners of servants - very matter of fact, but feel like Seivarden and Breq discussed the same within military hierarchy of soldiers with more... nonchalance.

No Tirsawat seems decidedly focused on Bisnaaid yeah...

Crazy...wonder how people in Radch are doing...

This lieutenant is either completely dumb and tactless or deliberately undiplomatic

Ah. Breq knows why Tirsawat is crushing on Bisnaaid. Must be something Aanander implanted ...

I love this. Because although I love Breq, for how polite and fair and honest it is - it IS easy to be all those things when you have all the power and are not the one whose home was annexed family killed and enslaved. And being now amongs the Valskaayans, all their anger and resentment !!! Is wonderfully painful and makes me angry too. And I would also be fucking angry at Breq. Maybe especially for being powerful enough to be decent in its treatment of them - but NOT just, Quieter expects. I too would speak just like her. Ohhhhh I would too. !!!! But how wonderful that Breq agrees.

'All of you! You take what you want at the end of a gun, you murder and rape and steal, and you call it bringing civilization. And what is civilization, to you, but us being properly grateful to be murdered and raped and stolen from? You said you knew justice when you heard it. Well, what is your justice but you allowed to treat us as you like, and us condemned for even attempting to defend ourselves?”

Yes.

What the fuck

Breq isn't even gonna save Queter? What the fuck in hell.

I guess it needs a testimony. So it needs to convince Queter.

Queter was just trying to protect het brother from serial rapist daughter of the house Raughd... And all she wants now is for Breq to take him away - somewhere safe. :''''(

Oh. OH!!!! DAMN!!! QUETER IS CHALLENGING BREQ FOR REAL! FUCCCK NICE!!!!

Yeah you were Hella fucking dispassionate about this shit breq you piece of shit

Damn I really hope Queter comes along, she's literally the only person in all of the series who's owned breq ever so far. Breq needs that

Most esteemed Queter indeed

Wow I love her I love her. Or him, whatever she is in Delsig terms

“Superstitious savage that I am.” Definitely crying now. “Nothing I do will make any difference. But I will make you look at it. I will make you see what it is you’ve done, and ever after, if you would look away, if you would ever claim to be just, or proper, you’ll have to lie to yourself outright.”

No....Queter....

BREQ ACTUALLY DID IT!!!!! SHE TOOK HER BROTHER INTO HER PROTECTION!!!! naturally. Of course. Because look only at Basnaaid.

Oh...wow. I didn't expect Sirix to be THAT indoctrinated and disdainful of the Ychana and Valskaayans.

In the end, they did not finish proper mourning

So why is it that the Valskayan citizens on the planet need to pay for food when on a station any citizen is granted rations? They could have invoked the rule?? Why wouldn't it have changed anything?? The whole point was they were literally starving.

while clientage didn’t necessarily imply a sexual relationship, in situations where patron and client were very unequal in circumstances it was often assumed

Aha

Wow. Breq suspects a trap and then doesn't even tell the people who'd get shot after that its walkjg into a trap

But Tirsawat followed it. AND IT DIDNT NOTICE. IDIOT.

How do any of the Radch fight each other anyway? They all have armour.

Why didn't the armour protect breq from the rock....it protected it from a fucking bullet.

Breq is such an idiot sometimes. Like. For most of the book it's a fucking genius four steps ahead. And then suddenly an idiot.

She expected a trap from Hetnys but didn't even think to warn Mercy of Kalr. I slip into 'she' again. BT breq always calls ships it.

Why not simply shoot hetnys. Every minute that breq doesn't is a useless minute lost.

Are you fucking serious. She shoots the fucking shitty ass layer between station and hard vacuum? Well. That's another station ai that's going to be completely PISSED at Breq. Fucking hell that's stupid. Undergarden and garden both crumpled. Great work fixing the slums up and then decompressing the whole shebang!

Sword of Atargatis did not kill Tisarwat? Stupid. This action is so shit lol. Breq absolutely genius mastermind, suddenly idiot fighter. It aimed for Hetnys head instead of the heart. Basnaaid literally had to save herself by SOMEHOW escaping a trained soldier with a knife to her throat.

Breq really an idiot when emotionally compromised. Noted the problem with the ceiling. Shot Presger gun.

BREQ DIDNT EVEN REALISED THAT MERCY MIGHT HAVE BEEN INSIDE A GATE. LOLOLOL

NATURALLY THEY WOULD HAVE GATED IMMEDIATELY THE MOMENT MERCY REALISED THEY WERE UNDER ATTACK

Good thing everybody ignored Breq keeping them out of the fight otherwise everything would have gone utterly to shit

Funny. The making of an ancillary is monstrous. But if it hadn't gone wrong, maybe Breq hadn't removed Tisarwat's implants? Because to be alone again would be to be cut off, and that is also apparently a monstrous thing to do. But to be fair, Tisarwat is herself plus extra. While Breq is OneEsk, all that is left of Justice of Toren, and nothing is left of her original person, except, apparently, you could remove Breq from her brain. You could apparently all along. Return some consciousness to the original person that had become the ancillary. And

Instead they've destroyed thousands.

Anyway what a nice little family. At least Seivarden had something significant to do this time! At the very last moment

And apparently it was Mercy of Kalr who was spying on everybody all the time - even though I thought that was only possible via ancillaries and not regular humans even if they have simple communications implants.

Still not over how the soldiers on Mercy act like ancillaries and never use their own names. Freaked

It is honestly completely insane that regular humans aren't given the boosted implants that allow ancillaries their improved speed and processing power - and memory! Clearly it would be possible. And kinda the first application I myself would think of instead of zombifying people

I actually really enjoyed this one. More than the first book actually. The ending was also way more coherent and made way more sense

[lesbianjunimo]

That time you and your demon boyfriend went viral

hi yes hello obey me fandom!! my name is Gabbi and i have never played a single second of the actual game but i have read enough fanon content for the past year to have this idea swimming around in my head and now i am finally letting this accursed thing out of my brain and putting it in yours

also i’m only doing the brothers because any more than that and i’d have an aneurysm probably. oh and shoutout to @obeythebutler and @beels-burger-babe for inspiring me with their works to feel brave enough to write for this fandom

Lucifer:

You and Lucifer go viral on Asmo’s Devilgram story!

You’re in the kitchen helping Asmo with dinner duty and singing along to one of your playlists of human realm music that you like to show him.

Asmo starts filming your cute little dance while you stir the pot on the stove because you are just adorable!

About ten seconds into him filming, Lucifer appears in the doorway with quite the stern look on his face. You know, the one that comes right before a “MAMMOOOOOON” and strikes fear into the heart of all those with functioning eardrums. That one.

He opens his mouth, presumably to tell y’all to shut the fuck up, but then there’s a lull in the music and the eldest can hear your voice ever so slightly above the song’s vocalist and he freezes.

Man stops in his tracks like someone just smacked him in the face with a midair volleyball.

Asmo can be heard stifling a laugh behind his phone.

Lucifer’s face gets so soft and he almost, almost, loosens his metal-rod-through-the-ass posture before you notice him and give a little wave and ask if you and Asmo were being too loud like the considerate darling you are.

Lucifer clears and his throat and says something like, “No, you aren’t. I was just coming to check on how dinner is coming along,” and leaves, after which Asmo immediately presses the post button.

Screenshots of Lucifer’s heart eyes for you go absolutely viral because every demon on Devilgram goes absolutely feral for seeing the eldest demon brother lose his dignified composure. It becomes a meme template. “Get you someone who looks at you like Lucifer looks at MC” and “me at the delivery demon when he shows up with my spicy bat wings” posts become commonplace. (Asmo thinks the memes are totally worth getting strung up with Mammon for laughing at them.)

Mammon:

Much like Lucifer, you and Mammon end up going viral off Asmo’s Devilgram. (Noticing a pattern here?) 

He pulls a silly prank on your asses and honestly I don’t know how you fell for it. But hey, they say “idiots in love” for a reason, so...

You and Asmo are sitting in the common room of the House of Lamentation just chillin. Well, he’s chillin, you’re on the floor studying for an upcoming exam.

The video starts in the middle of a conversation you and the avatar of lust were having.

“No, Asmo,” you say. “Mammon and I don’t use pet names for each other.” Now that’s just a darn lie, and every demon and crow within ten miles of Mammon and you together knows it.

“Really? I find that very hard to believe, MC.~” 

You sigh in response to Asmo’s teasing. “Okay, he has a lot for me but I’m just not much of a pet name person, y’know?” The rest of the exchange goes like this:

“Oh, I totally get it.” *pause* “Hey MC, what do human world bees make again?”

“Honey.”

Cue a sheepish Mammon sticking his head in the doorway at the bluntness of your tone when you answered Asmo.

“Yeah, babe?” he looks like a puppy left on the side of a highway oh my god hUG HIM-

Asmo turns the camera back to his smug ass face and in the background you can be heard tripping on the damn carpet trying to get up and hug your mans. (”MAMMON GET OVER HERE SO I CAN HUG YOU” “W-WHAT? I THOUGHT YA WERE MAD AT ME?!?!?!?!”)

Leviathan:

Streamer Levi? Streamer Levi.

You guys go viral the first time you make an appearance on one of Levi’s weekly (insert cool Devildom streaming service name here) streams. 

It’s completely unintentional. You had been asking him for weeks to play with him on there, but he’s the avatar of envy after all. He doesn’t like sharing his partner, even if it’s with random strangers who have no real access to you.

However, he has his stream on a Thursday instead of a Friday one week, and you come into his room carrying dinner because 1) You didn’t realize he was streaming and 2) No matter what he was doing, the boy needed to eat. It wasn’t unusual for you to bring him dinner, so you had no idea why he was blushing and stammering even more than usual this time in particular. Boy was speaking in beached whale trying to tell you what was wrong.

Then you notice his screen. Oh! “Hi chat!” You wave, setting Levi’s food down on his desk in front of his keyboard. “M-MC!” He full-on whines, slamming a hand over his mouth afterwards when he remembers his viewers could hear that.

Honestly, they’d meme the fuck out of him if it weren’t for the fact that they are FINALLY SEEING HIS HENRY!!! THE MYSTERIOUS MC!!!

Chat is bombarding you with questions while you make Levi eat dinner. And by make him eat dinner, I mean literally feeding this man forkfuls/spoonfuls while he games because you love how flustered he gets when you do that. 

Does it impact his score? Absolutely. Does he care? Not really when you’re pampering him like that.

You start answering chat’s questions about you while he’s chewing so he can’t tell you to stop LMAO-

You’re a natural on stream. The VOD becomes the most popular on Levi’s account in a matter of hours and soon cute highlights compilations of you and him on that stream start making the rounds on Devildom Twitter.

Satan:

There was buildup to Satan going viral, similar to Levi in a way. 

Satan does have a Devilgram, but it’s basically a white woman’s Instagram with added book reviews for variety. Unless you’re a reader his account is pretty boring: candles, books, fireplaces, and cats.

However, after you two started reading together fairly often he began posting pictures of your legs draped over his while you sat together. They’d always be captioned with vague ass pretentious literary criticism. 

This goes on for months, and he gains a lot of (horny) followers after the leg pics start up. He doesn’t really get why but you both joke that it’s because you have some damn nice legs and I mean neither of you are complaining about the new following.

You two go viral when he finally shows your face, entirely by accident.

The post is a video, which is already strange for him and grabs attention. In it, you’re scoffing and reading an excerpt of a book, mocking its understanding of female anatomy.

“I’m quoting here, Satan: ‘her breasts bouncing around like giant pacmen.’ I’M SORRY?? THAT ISN’T HOW BOOBS WORK SIR. WHY ARE MEN ALLOWED TO WRITE?” 

(fun fact that is a very real quote from a very real book I really read last month pls save me)

Originally the camera is focused on your body, with your head out of frame to protect your privacy, but your righteous anger made Satan laugh. Like, a real laugh. The one that makes you and everyone in earshot wonder if he truly was never an angel cause he sure as hell laughs like one but anyway-

When he threw his head back, his DDD angled up just a tad without him noticing, and your face was in view for like .2 seconds. Screenshots of it are making the rounds on Devilgram almost immediately: FINALLY THE LEGS’ OWNER HAS BEEN FOUND.

Satan apologizes profusely but you honestly find it funny and you two opt to just start taking selfies while reading with both of your faces in them from now on. 

Asmodeus:

I’m gonna be real with you: you and Asmo go viral all the time. Pretty much everything Asmo posts can be considered viral because of his social media following and his status as one of the seven avatars of sin.

However, there are some fairly cute highlights to be pointed out among the times you were both featured in a post that blew up.

Your favorite is probably that time Asmo livestreamed on of you guys’ ‘Nail Nites,’ as you call them.

You’re both on the floor, doing your nails and kicking your feet back and forth while talking to chat. A lot of the questions are about your relationship, and there’s a lot of flirting back and forth between the two of you.

A particular clip of the stream does blow the fuck up on Devilgram, though, when someone screen records it and posts it with a bunch of heart emojis edited over it.

“’What colors do you think best describe each other?’ Ooo, that’s a good one, chat!” Asmo claps his hands together excitedly, making sure to be  careful of his nails.

Pretty much everyone expected you to say pink, but you surprised both your boyfriend and your viewers when, after a pensive few moments, you replied with “Hmm...probably yellow or orange.”

“Can I ask why, darling?” Asmo tilts his head in confusion. I mean, yeah, those colors look good on him, but he doesn’t wear them often so he’s wondering about your thought process. 

“Well, in the human world those colors often represent happiness, optimism, and positivity. You’re always the cheerful presence I need in my life when things get hard, so you have the vibe of those colors.”

Asmo proceeds to burst into tears and hug you, messing up both of your nails and prolonging the stream since you both have to start over. But neither of you particularly care. 

Fun fact: Asmo has the clip that demon made of that portion of the stream saved on his DDD and watches it whenever he feels sad.

Beelzebub:

Beel and you probably go the most viral out of everybody. Like this moment is an entire phenomenon across the Devildom internet. 

It’s a video, or well, multiple videos, taken at the end of a Fangol game that Beel’s team had just won. Everyone is cheering and going crazy, yourself included, and you just really wanted to congratulate your boyfriend.

So, like the rational person you are, you elect to climb up onto the railing of the bleachers and wave to get his attention. 

You were absolutely fine up there, and sat all comfortably motioning Beel over to you. He notices, of course, and jogs over, standing right beneath you and looking up. (Back where you were sitting, Mammon is screeching like a hyena in heat and Belphie, who is laying down, has one eye open to glare at him. The youngest knows Beel would never let you hurt yourself; you’re fine.)

A bunch of assorted demons at the game has started filming while you were sat atop the railing since you were rather noticeable. Therefore, there’s a shit ton of different angles of the adorable events that follow:

You slide off the railing, landing right in Beel’s waiting arms bridal style. You’ve got this brilliant smile on your face as you pull his helmet off. None of the DDDs filming can hear it over the crowd noise, but Beel asks you why you just went through all that trouble and you tell him it’s because you wanted to tell him how proud you are.

Soft boy’s chest puffs up and he smiles this big cheesy smile at you reach up to run a hand through his hair. You feel him practically purr at the contact, and with a laugh you pull him in and plant a big ole smooch on him.

The crowd, at least those of them that can see, scream. Everyone is running high on adrenaline and happy emotions; something that cute causes a ruckus!! When you pull away Beel proceeds to put you on his shoulders and you celebrate with him and the rest of his team.

The videos of you two being adorable go completely viral and there are some threads dedicated to stockpiling every single angle taken of the event. Beel is completely oblivious to the attention but you have a lot of them saved on your DDD.

Belphegor:

If you think Belphegor has any sort of social media presence whatsoever then you are sorely mistaken. (Well okay he actually does run some anonymous troll accounts to meme on Lucifer’s posts but that’s neither here nor there-)

Therefore, naturally, you two go viral off of Asmo’s Devilgram. 

Okay so someone in the obey me tag the other say headcanoned that Belphie will go out of his way to nap in ridiculous places and my brain really took that and RAN WITH IT.

So what happens is that Belphie will fall asleep in the fucking weirdest places. I’m talking on top of the fridge, underneath the dinner table, on top of bookshelves...you name it, he has slept there, no matter the effort it takes to get there in the first place. 

And, ever since you two started dating, you would join him. Sometimes it involved putting yourself at risk of great bodily harm, but the little smile he gave when you he saw you fucking scaling the countertop to reach him made it worth it.

So anyway, since Beel adores the both of you to no end, he takes pictures whenever he sees you two napping together, whether or not it is in a crazy place. He sends these to the family group chat because he thinks they’re adorable.

Over a span of weeks to months, Asmo has built up a stock of images of you and Belphie cuddles up in seemingly impossible places. Once he has about ten or so, he posts a compilation of them to his Devilgram with some cheesy ass caption like “The things we do for love <3″.

They become a meme SO QUICKLY. Like UNBELIEVABLY quickly. 

The picture of you and Belphie sleeping on top of a bookshelf, in particular, is a big hit. Memes abound.

“If my girl doesn’t climb up a bookshelf to cuddle my ass, she don’t love me.” “Get yourself a partner who scales bookshelves just to be with your ass.” Etc etc...Belphie doesn’t give a shit but you laugh at a lot of them so he sees that as a good outcome.

[miekasa]

1+1 (levi ackerman)

↯ pairing: levi ackerman x (fem) reader

↯ genres and warnings: modern au, fluff...... again....... is it getting boring and predictable yet lmao, once again the dog’s name is captain and no i do not regret it

↯ word count: 2.5k

↯ summary: levi ackerman is a cuddler, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. (aka me once again pushing my physical affection is levi’s love language agenda because he’s a poor, touch-starved little man).

i. the lap pillow: person A sits upright, while person B rests their head in person A’s lap. head pets and hair playing option, but highly encouraged.

Levi spent an obnoxious amount of time picking out the perfect couch for his apartment. He might have paid a little bit more than what he’d originally budgeted for, but it was worth it; his soft, plush couch and accompanying cushions were equally comfortable and beautiful, matching the interior of his living room, and posing at the perfect nap spot when Levi was too tired to make it to the bed, or wanted to lounge around with Captain for a while.

Or, well, it used to be worth it. Because now, Levi would rather lay his head on your lap than on his stupid, expensive couch and all its cushions.

Sure, the couch still provides comfort or refuge for the rest of his body, a comfy cavern to stretch his limbs or crash on after a long day, but with you there, all the benefits go to his head; literally, because when his head is in your lap, you stroke his face, comb through his hair, pad your thumb against his lips—whatever, Levi doesn’t really fucking care, because all of it is heavenly.

“Do you want to go to bed?” you question softly, hand raking through Levi’s hair. He’s lying on his back, not even pretending to have been watching the TV, as to let you have maximum access to his hair and face.

“No,” he says shortly, shifting his foot around to allow for your yorkie puppy to curl up at the other end of the couch, “Comfortable here.”

You try to hide the chuckle from escaping your lips. Levi certainly wasn’t shy about how much he liked your affections, especially within the closed walls of his apartment; but it always amused you just how simultaneously clipped, yet clingy he could be about it.

“Your neck is going to hurt, love,” you tell him, slowly moving your right hand from his hair to trace along his eyebrow, then down his cheek.

Levi huffs, ever so slightly. Then, gently, turns on his side, rotating his body and head, so that his cheek is now pressed along your thigh, legs curled up to his stomach, allowing Captain more space to curl into a ball at the base of Levi’s feet. He bends his arms, both coming to rest on your thighs as well, just an inch from his face.

“It’s fine like this,” he grumbles, voice thick with sleep—and a bit of frustration, because you’ve ceased playing with his hair at this point, “I’m going to take a nap, don’t move.”

You can help your laughter from escaping, “I don’t really have a choice, now do I?”

He hums in affirmation, shifting around just a bit to his comfort. You smile at the way he wiggles his toes, Captain taking it as an invitation to snuggle closer to Levi. You rest your right hand against Levi’s shoulder, lightly massaging his muscles as to not disturb his drifting to sleep, and resume your focus on the TV ahead of you.

Just when you’d thought Levi was on his way to falling asleep, he lets out a discontented grunt, moving his arm backwards to grab at your wrist, and with gentle, but firm force, moves your hand that was massaging his shoulder to the top of his head. He says nothing, only moves his hand back to its previous position, and once again shifts to readjust his napping position.

You get the message, and with a wide smile, you carefully begin to thread your fingers through his hair again; and with a satisfied purr, Levi snuggles his head into your lap, and finally drifts off to sleep.

ii. the half spoon/chest rest: person A lays flat on their back, while person B curls into their side, laying their head on person A’s chest.

Levi rarely falls asleep before you do, so he’s had quite a bit of time to observe your sleep habits—as non-creepily as possible, of course.

You’re a pretty normal sleeper—again, not that he spends his time watching other people sleep, or anything—but you do have your own quirks; most of which Levi finds endearing on some level or another. Like the way you always have to have a minimum of three pillows on your side of the bed, even if you don’t sleep with all three of them at the same time. And the way your arms subconsciously curl up, usually around a pillow if Levi isn’t there, or even around yourself if there’s no object for you to grasp.

One of your sleeping ticks he isn’t particularly fond of is the way you move around. Not sporadically, and thankfully, not to a point that leaves you sprawled across the mattress at an obscure angle, but just… around. He especially hates when you roll away from him, because you usually roll away and never roll back.

Which is why Levi is generally fond of cuddling positions in which he’s holding you, as to make sure you don’t, quite literally, roll out of his arms. Because nothing pisses Levi off more than waking up and realizing you’ve rolled away and taken to snuggling against your pillow instead of him. He’s much better than a pillow. Warmer, too. Not mention, a real, actual human being.

Right now, you’re tucked almost expertly into Levi’s right side, head laying on his chest, your right arm over his stomach, hand just barely tickling the exposed skin from his shirt riding up. Levi likes the feeling of your shallow exhales rippling against his shirt, and the warmth of your cheek pressed against his chest.

He’s about to fall asleep himself, when he feels you shuffling, and oh no, not on his watch. Before the worst can happen, Levi secures his right arm over your shoulder, as to hold you against him. The urge to roll seems to leave you then, the only movement is of your right arm, which you bend at the elbow, now laying your palm against his pecs.

Levi exhales, content. Now he can sleep peacefully. Well, almost. There’s one more thing he likes about this position, and it’s his ability to use his free hand to reach down, scoop under your knee and drape your leg across his waist—and he does so happily; smiling to himself as you subconsciously burrow yourself further into his side.

Much better, Levi thinks, letting his eyelids flutter shut. It was time for bed, after all, and he had a feeling he’d be waking up warm and cozy in the morning.

iii. full contact cuddle: person A sits or lays on their back, while person B rests almost directly on top of them.

“I don’t get why you like this so much,” you say, words mumble, as you shimmy up Levi’s body to lay your cheek against his chest, “How do you possibly benefit from this?”

If you asked Levi, this was probably his favorite way to cuddle. Something about having almost all of your body weight on top of him, your head against his chest, and his arms wrapped completely around you just made him feel warm, and cozy, and content. Plus, the added bonus of you laying directly on top of his dick.

He could say all of that, but instead he opts for a minimal hum, and, a simple, “It’s warm.”

“Yeah, because you’re warm, Levi,” you point out, but burrow into his skin anyway. You’re not exactly complaining, laying on Levi is nice; especially a shirtless Levi, with how warm his body runs. And, well, for other reasons, too.

Once again, you’re met with a non-committal hum. Levi just holds you for a bit, listening for the way your breathing slows and evens out, feeling for signs of your body slowing down against his.

After a while, he shifts his arms, moving so that they’re no longer stacked atop each other, but with his palms both resting against your back, creeping under your shirt. “It’s the weight,” he replies carefully, moving his right hand to rub against your skin, “It feels nice.”

“The weight?” you question, lifting your head to look at him, your chin poking into his chest. Levi looks down to meet your eyes, a small nod in reassurance.

“I can’t… explain it,” he tells you truthfully, “I just like the feeling of you against me. It’s not symbolic or any shit like that, it just, feels good. Sometimes feels like we’re… I don’t know, connected or some shit. I can feel you breathe when I breathe, and all that.”

It’s a poor explanation, and nothing close to what he wants to be able to convey, but you understand him anyways; you always do. You have to hold back your overgrown smile, just barely letting the corners of your lips turn upwards at Levi’s response. You extend your neck briefly to place a short kiss against his jaw, before turning to head to lay back on his chest.

“No, I get it,” you reassure him, snuggling against him for extra measure, “Feels nice to just know you’re there.”

Levi hums in affirmation, his hand squeezing at your waist affectionately—a silent thank you for being able to read between his lines. You lay like that for a while, your exhales tickling against Levi’s bare chest, while his hands massage at your back.

“Besides,” he says, his hands slowly venturing down past your waist; he squeezes at your hips, adjusting you so that your center is directly on top of his, and encouraging you to lift your upper half, so that you’re looking down at him, a full view of the wicked smile on his face, “I kind of have a thing for you being on top of me.”

iv. the seated snuggle: person A sits upright, maybe slouched a bit, while person B cuddles into their side; a hand wrapped around A’s waist or arm, and B’s head resting against A’s shoulder.

Levi likes his alone time, but even when he’s focusing on himself, he’s acutely in tune with you and your emotions. And to be honest with himself, he spends a lot of his alone time thinking about you—consciously or not, you find a way into his brain, and Levi has long since accepted that you’re a permanent, and very welcome presence in his life, one that can be more powerful and enjoyable that his own solitude.

Even when he’s sitting on the couch, right leg bent and tucked under his left at the knee, a book Hange had recommended in his hand, with a shitty hospital drama playing as background noise on the television; even then, when he’s relaxing and enjoying his novel, he purposefully feels out your presence and gauges your emotions.

Though, if you asked him, it shouldn’t have taken a rocket scientist to understand that you were feeling a little out of it today—maybe not quite sad, but moving a bit slower, perhaps tired, or annoyed by your day at work—despite the cheery lilt in your voice. But Levi knew, he could feel it, that something was off; but he could also feel that this something wasn’t getting talked about today, or that, perhaps you just didn’t have the words to express it right now. 

Levi greets you as he would when you come through the door, tilts his head up when you lean down to give him a kiss, and lets you pad into your bedroom to change and shower. You shuffle around after that, making your way to the kitchen to reheat the dinner he’d cooked earlier, and flitter between your bedroom and the living room after that.

And Levi knows; he knows that you want to talk to him, but that you wouldn’t dare to interrupt his alone-time, because you know how important it is to him. What you fail to understand is that you’re just as, if not more, important to him because you give him space.

So, Levi waits until you’re hovering by the doorway of the living room again, and then, without looking up from his book, silently opens and extends his left arm. He counts three seconds before you come shuffling over to him, wasting no time tucking yourself into his side, and resting your head on his shoulder. Levi hums when he feels your cheek press into his neck, and wraps his arm securely around you.

“Long day?” he questions, eyes still on his book, but reading at a marginally slower pace now.

Your eyes flutter shut at the question, working harder to snuggle yourself into Levi, wrapping your arms around his waist, “The longest.”

Levi hums, finishing his page, and tucking the ear to mark his spot before closing his book. He turns his head to press a kiss into your forehead, and pulls you a little closer against him. “It’s over now, I’ve got you.”

v. the times together/pretzel: person A rests with back against a wall/couch/object, and person B mirrors their positions; both A and B’s legs are intertwined, while they look at each other.

Levi will only take a bath after he’s showered, because there’s no appeal in sitting in your own wet dirt. That being said, post-shower baths with you are something he looks forward to, especially after a long, drawn out work week.

You both sit facing each other, legs bent and intertwined, your empty champagne glasses resting on the tiled floor beside the tub. Levi lets you make bubble beards on his face, and smiles as you splash them away and placate it all with a crescendo of kisses.

“I love you,” you smile between presses of your lips, the palms of your hands squishing Levi’s cheeks together—and he just lets you, because he loves you.

Levi thinks it’s his turn now, though he has no interest in bubble beards, or mohawks, simply mirroring your actions to cup your face with his hands, pull you closer, a whisper on your lips.

Wet thumbs pad against your cheeks, and Levi thinks that even like this, with only the flicker of candle flames illuminating your face, that you’re beautiful, and the best thing he’s ever gotten the opportunity to love and care for in his life.

So he lets you know, “And I love you.” And he means it; and you know he does.

[indecisive-v]

gladly @lavendertarot @purgemarchlockdown

tgp au short version: this tierlist that is subject to change (and also broke some text when i saved it????)

minecraft stuff: i rlly wanted to play pixelmon and the aether mod together and i found a modpack that included cobblemon and the aether (plus some other things) so i was thinking about that while trying to sleep and will likely play around with it later today

tgp au long version (tgp spoilers):

afterlife experiment by jackalope for torturing bad people, just like the original (though it is really funny to imagine michael running this)

"these are all bad people because they were the reason someone died, let's torture them by making them feel guilty about it"

jackalope is less involved though and leaves a lot of the stuff to es

janets are instead es and are based off of existing people for "variety"

unlike a janet, es isn't all-knowing, though they still have access to a lot of information

the personal parts of humans' lives isn't included in that for privacy reasons, so when es tries to figure out why these very morally grey people are in the good place, the only clues they have are the music videos, some rough details of the humans' lives, and asking the humans themselves

the music videos do still exist here but just as a fun way to show the humans their lives (except they also reignite bad memories. for torture purposes); each of them gets to see their music video when they're brought to their house like eleanor seeing that video of "real" eleanor's memories

why yes, es does still freak out whenever their sense of identity is questioned! only this one though 😁

also kotoko acts like simone for a bit lmao

ik shidou's the doctor but i think he'd either accept it or play along after es shows him funky afterlife stuff

fuuta might pull a simone too actually

sorry hold on i'm thinking while writing this and while i'm considering how everyone reacted to being told they're in milgram, being told you're in a weird magical prison for murder is VERY different from being told you're dead and in heaven and are a Good Person lmao

oh right, the murders!

depending on what the victim meant to each person, some of them get to join the experiment (everyone goes to the bad place anyway, complicatedness of modern life making it too hard to be a Good Person and all that)

after all, mahiru wouldn't believe the good place ruse if the love of her life isn't there!

and bonus, shidou now has to confront his family directly after feeling the overwhelming guilt of his desperate and failed efforts to save them!

righto let's get on to the individual tortures like that

just being in "heaven" is torture for yuno due to it being one massive "you're a good person who's done nothing wrong!" and she probably tells someone "you know what? i should be in a medium place"

mikoto's mv ends up being a whole other mv, a much nicer one- except it still has parts influenced by orekoto, and while that unsettles him a little, he gets really scared of some of the others after learning what they did- be it a slip of the tongue, shidou or yuno openly talking about how they feel, or jackalope "accidentally" letting him see someone else's mv

mahiru and her boyfriend are tortured by having to see each other again after he killed himself because boy is that gonna be a fun topic for them to talk about

fuuta gets stuck thinking about the last part of the bring it on mv- he enjoyed it at first like "haha! wow! i'm so cool" and then he sees at the end himself huddled under the blankets, looking at his phone, and he goes "what the hell is this supposed to mean"; like mikoto he brushes it off for a bit until he learns about everyone else, then he goes "uhh i don't think some of these people should be here... oh god, do i not belong here too?" and that little crisis gets the honor of being his torture

kazui gets told "see, here's the thing. your soulmate's still alive, so you're gonna have to wait for them here" and he literally saw his wife die in front of him so that just confirms for him that either he didn't love her or, even if he did, it wasn't meant to be

amane wholeheartedly believes she's in heaven because why wouldn't she be? she's a good girl! some extra work is put in to make the place seem a little more accurate to her religion's idea of heaven. but then she gets a liiiittle upset when she sees that a doctor is somehow here and upon asking es, she gets told "well, your religion wasn't 100% accurate" and it escalates from there as she gets more upset and is forced to question her whole life

haruka doesn't question it when he's told he's in the good place, but he's just scared of... basically everyone, especially amane

muu also gets a completely different mv since she's put in a place that validates her instead of scaring her, so she thinks she's good to go and everything is fine! though... some things could be a little better?

after haruka and muu get close to each other though (maybe they get told they're soulmates), the torture for both of them is like tahani's where they still believe they're in the good place and belong there but some things just aren't quite right, and while they try to find comfort in each other their relationship is just too unhealthy

kotoko is told to relax and that she "doesn't have to pursue justice anymore" and she doesn't like that because what the Fuck is she supposed to do now?? just chill??? there's still bad things happening on earth and now she can't do anything about it???? ...hey, wait a minute, suddenly there's bad things happening here too 🤨

need the milgram "the good place" au ideas i'm getting rn to shut up for a bit i just wanted to think about minecraft