#no one suffers like i suffer
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i have to go to the pharmacy to pick up my brain drugs but im too tired and stupid to go to the pharmacy without first taking my brain drugs
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I don't want to regret the way I lived
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#choso kamo#junpei yoshino#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#this idea started as a 2 part series . then my braincells decided to spark and supplied 7 PAGES#'did you sleep hina' no#ws looking up mentally stable things like 'who has died in jjk' smh i love my hyperfixation media im sooooo glad so many ppl r DEAD#i *could* have included more ppl but i think this is a good crew. this is a yuuji emotional support crew#also Was gna include his grandpa final panel but i Did Not Want To#he is implied through th dialogue#side note i donot like how i cn see this scenario playing out . ..yuuji this isnt ur stop u r monopoly voice Just Visiting ok >:(#anyway I broke my own heart with this and ik i hyped it up a lot but i hope that its not just me...#hope i did not hype it up fr nothing and no one else finds it devastating :((((( that would b humbling in the worst way#pls ...join the happy party train.......i hate it here i suffered pls :<<<<#also !!!! colours in this !! i cooked i fear . adding th first bit of warm hitting yuuji's face after th first 2 panels....#ive never had that kind of experience while drawing before it was wild . painful ! but wild.#the whole transition from p 2->3 might b the most emotionally moving piece ive ever made to me#not 2 sing my own praises tho i will shut up ! i wil. nap
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#my polls#sometimes I read 'friendly banter' and I'm like#I would leave#maybe it's too much time in elementary school suffering 'teasing' no one took seriously but#maybe that's tainted my reception of all teasing forever#probably in fact#but how normal is it anyway?
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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I saw this on FB today and I wanna try and express something about it. Like, you know the curbcutter effect? Where when curbcuts are put in it benefits everyone (bicyclists, people with baby strollers etc) and not just disabled people?
There is also whatever the opposite of the curbcutter effect is. And this is that.
This isn't just anti-adhd/autism propaganda... this is anti-child propaganda.
Kids have developmentally appropriate ways that they need to move their bodies and express themselves and sitting perfectly still staring straight ahead is not natural or good for ANY CHILD.
Don't get me wrong, I was punished unduly as a kid for being neurodivergent (and other types of kid will ALSO be punished unduly for it... Black kids come to mind) and thus UNABLE to perform this -- but even the kids who ARE able to perform this type of behavior are not SERVED WELL by it. They don't benefit from it.
This is bad for everyone.
The idea that bc some kids may be capable of complying with unfair expectations, those expectations don't hurt them... is a dangerous idea. Compliance isn't thriving. Expectation of compliance isn't fair treatment.
#theres a lot of things lately that make me think of this where#people will act like theres this class of people not harmed by something#(laws undermining bodily autonomy come to mind!!!!!)#and its like -- no. the consequences will be worse for some people#but no one is ultimately served by the erosion of bodily autonomy like there is not a class of people who benefit from that#same with lack of right to privacy#there isnt a DEMOGRAPHIC of people who benefit from certain things#there are systems that do. and there may be a handful of individuals who benefit partially or FOR NOW#until those systems are turned against them#i think its important to remind people in certain privileged demographics that like#certain things do benefit them#and others DON'T#you may suffer less statistically but it doesnt benefit you!#its BAD SOCIETALLY.
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need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#blood tw#ruporas art#love u when i get to cuddle u and love u when i get to feel ur blood soak into my hands#being this close to one another means the eternal suffering of trying to separate love and mission. love for one and love for humanity#i like to think of pre-vol8 vash as someone who struggles with his feelings for ww bc as equal and as trusted he is -#vash knows his responsibilities and he knows/expects ww wouldn't let him stray from it either. for that he can't take to any romantic incli#and i think itd make him view ww in a stricter non-personal way... If that makes ANY sense.#for ww - take someone who youv gotten close to and ended up liking more than you expected#someone who has a belief and follows it stubbornly - someone who'll get into more fights and trouble more than youv had your entire life#ww thinks of him as a monster but he knows theres a limit he himself can take - i feel like hes considered what might be the limit for vash#for Safety measures. just in case. yknow. whenever he himself might have to load the bullet < him hyping himself up as if he could do it#my point being that the thought of vash being dead crosses his mind more than he'd like. i think its a simultaneous dread drop in his stoma#for failure of the mission - but also an Ok? They can be killed? and also a disastrous gunning of his own heart. considering how much they#both live in their own heads some days are Just the worst ever for them in each others company. but also they lov each other :[ sooo much
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limitations (part 1)
early access + nsfw on patreon
#i feel like it'd be easy to think of laswell as being unreasonable in this moment (surely she could've let price at least see simon right?)#but she's just lost a squadron of men#one of her closest friends has suffered a life-changing injury after almost dying and one of her soldiers is now a volatile smoke monster.#also first time drawing laswell can i get a heyo#captain john price#kate laswell#monster 141 au#giragi art
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"LOL this flip-flop wearing loser thinks he's gonna kick my ass and destroy my whole kingdom in the span of an afternoon. What an idiot"
I didn't intend for this to be a full comic, which is why it just kinda ends. Sowwy
#one piece#monkey d luffy#donquixote doflamingo#trafalgar law#i've been too nice to dofy so im gonna draw him suffering#dofy feels insulted and takes out his annoyance on the ptsd victim#also really loving trebol being the manipulator and then being like “hey this kid is alright!” then becoming the manipulated himself#him turning into a weird enabling father figure without ever intending to is great#but oda intentionally made him so gross an unappealing bc HE KNOWS he can get away with it bc the story is so good#and i hate him for it#anyway dressrosa's a good arc
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let her go
#homestuck#vriska serket#terezi pyrope#vriska#terezi#vrisrezi#mic_art#screencap redraw of that one utena scene woohoo#vrisrezi and utenanthy dont share many similarities but there are some interesting parallels that can be drawn#like theyre all characters who are devoted to the respective roles they think they have#utena needs to be a prince and vriska needs to be a hero#terezi needs to cast vriska as the villain so that she can be the one to bring her to justice while anthy#is resigned to her role as the rose bride and is cast as a witch by others (and herself in a way...) to justify her suffering#im too tired to put into words all the other shit rattlign around in my brain but something something vriska society violence princes utena#something interesting to note is that in the rgu stabbing scene utena is walking to the left while is hs vriskas walking to the right#which i think is mostly a cultural difference due to english being read left to right while japanese is read right to left#changing which direction is percieved as forward#which could be read further into but could also just be the natural flow of the scene or whateevr#idk i need to peruse ohtori.nu again i looooove reading utena essays
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Gravity falls as onion headlines part II part I part III
#i don't like this one as much#still wanted to share#i wish the fandom explored shermie more#imagine being the baby of the family and essentially never meeting your older twin brothers#shermie was alone he didn't have someone like the twins did#he had to suffer his dad all alone#ofcourse unlike the twins he might have had friends#still#gravity falls#billford#stanely pines#stanford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor#bill cipher#onion headlines
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:-P
#me: ive gotta read so fucking much by monday if i dont wanna look like a fucking idiot in my lab meeting monday#also me: if i dont draw maid sanji right fucking now im gonna puke#can u tell what my 2nd favorite shojo was in high school? many scenes still live rent free in my head#clannad was my 1st fave btw lol#also. god i kno i say this on every sanji post but i think abt him so much ever sing day#she is my absolute favorite babygirl. i hate him. i want her to suffer forever#female sanji#me in 2014: what if girl sanji? me in 2024: what if girl sanji???#vinsmoke sanji#sanji#roronoa zoro#zosan#one piece
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breaking news: my favourite taco place changed its delivery zone and i am now one fucking single block too far
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in honor of last season’s poem being called “”end poem”” (all quotes mandatory) this season i made one out of pieces of the actual end poem
#letting me just download the minecraft font? for free? a mistake#if you or a loved one have been suffering from RED TEXT you may be entitled to compensation#my art#god at this point i really do need a writing tag don’t i#<- will continue not addressing this#secret life#goodtimeswithscar#grian#secret life spoilers#sorry tumblr user livvi3love for not making one with all the deaths again#if you (or anyone) did want to illustrate this one as well you’re more than welcome to but i am not expecting anything#i can do an explainer thing again like i did last time but that is for tomorrow#right now i am just. very tired#but for now i will confirm yes the colors Matter#i literally made this on accident against my will#i was trying to DRAW
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conflating diaspora jews with the actions of the israeli government is not okay, yes, but have you considered it's not okay to conflate israeli jews with them either
#listen. no hate to diaspora jews. y'all are suffering unimaginable antisemitism rn.#but as an israeli it makes me so mad how they're always the only ones leftists care about when it comes to antisemitism if even#“nooo guys we can't be mean to diaspora jews because of isnotreal it's antisemitic and wrong!”#“israelis? now those are completely fine to harass and wish death upon <3”#people just straight up don't see us as humans deserving of basic decency i think#when they at very least pretend to or believe they like diaspora jews#leftist antisemitism#antisemitism#israel#jumblr
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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Miles “Who’s Morales” vs Gwen “Gwwwwanda” vs Pavtir “You seem like a nice young woman I do not know” FIGHT
#uni talks about the universe#spiderverse#across the spiderverse#across the spider verse spoilers#miles morales#gwen stacy#pavtir prabhakar#the spider kids DO NOT know how to lie#Jess: You know we can just teach them how to lie#Miguel: sorry no this is a canon event#Peter B: For once I agree every kid must suffer through this stage#Hobie seems like he’s immune to this#but he slipped up once and no one has ever been able to figure out what happened#there’s wild rumors going around that he will never confirm nor deny#side note Margo and Peni are also apart of the spider kids#this has nothing to do with the post I just see people leaving them out so I’m making this formal announcement to my two followers#originally I put how pav’s hair was giving him away but the scene with saving his girlfriend felt more accurate yknow?
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