ceescedasticity

[ceescedasticity]

Everyone Is Spoiler AU, post 1/?

[Plotwise this is adapting pre-Flashpoint Knightfall. Reverse Batkids — mostly, at least.]

Jean-Paul Valley is not a bad man. He is awkward, and to be completely honest Damian doesn't think he's very intelligent, but he's a competent fighter and not a bad man. Damian has a lot of sympathy for someone indoctrinated into a cult by someone they should have been able to trust.

When Father says Valley will take over as Batman after Bane's terrible attack incapacitates him, Damian doesn't argue. Valley has the height and muscle mass to take on the role immediately. There are no better options.

(Terrence could be Batman — Shadow is similar already — but things were tense between Bruce and Terrence even before they blamed each other for Matthew's death, and now they are likely irreparable. Things aren't much better with Kelley, who would have to be Batwoman even if they could pry her away from the Titans and convince her to work with Damian.) (In hindsight Damian is mortified by 95% of the things he said to her between his arrival in Gotham and her final departure, but she's the one who said Damian went or she did.)

Damian assumes Batman wouldn't allow Azrael to operate in Gotham, much less make Valley Batman, without being completely certain his 'Knight Templar' programming is eradicated.

The first few times Valley calls him "assassin", Damian assumes it's because of his background — rude, but not inaccurate or concerning.

Then he starts saying "Saracen" and "infidel" and Damian… has to look that up, actually. What he finds is concerning.

(It is not the first time Damian has been judged an enemy for being an Arab. Schoolchildren are terrible.) (He feels like a fraud claiming any maternal heritage other than the League. Before he came to Gotham he never imagined wanting to.)

He can handle it, though. Damian is too strong to be hurt by words. Valley is needed to be Batman, with Bane still a threat, and Batman needs Blackbird. He'll call his father if Azrael poses a threat to Gotham's Muslim or Arab civilians, or civilians he mistakes for that. …Or Jewish civilians, in fact, looking into the history a little more. Possibly also Protestant civilians?

He will keep a close watch for Valley turning against any civilians who might be targeted by a deluded Knight Templar and contact his father to return if it happens. Damian can handle any threats to him personally on his own.

He thinks this up until he tries to tell Valley to take off the claws when dealing with lightly-armored or unarmored criminals, and Valley backhands Damian hard enough to see stars, rakes him with his claws, and throws him off a roof.

Damian should have called someone.

It's a five-story building — potentially survivable if he lands right.

Damian can't die. If he died it would kill his father.

He's able to grab hold of an exterior fire escape, violently jerking his shoulder. When his bleeding abdomen hits the side of the stairs, he loses his grip.

Inexcusable. His father barely survived losing Matthew, Damian's death will kill him, he must live.

He tries to twist in the air, control his landing, and his abdominal muscles scream. He catches the fire escape again, with his other arm. He loses his grip almost immediately, but if he's slowed enough—

Damian lands, and he's alive.

Everything hurts. He can't move. He knows his spine must be intact because everything hurts, but lying helpless in a Narrows alley is not conducive to Blackbird's long-term survival. He has to move.

He can't move.

His head hurts more than everything else.

He's nearly blinded by a flashlight.

"Holy shit, holy shit, oh fuck—"

"Shit, there's so much blood— Is he alive?"

"He closed his eyes when you brought that searchlight over—"

"Not all of us have magic light powers, Nimbus— Blackbird? Blackbird, can you hear me? It's me, Spoiler."

One of the blurs looming over him is very purple. Damian tries to tell Brown — again — to stop trying to be a vigilante. Nothing comes out but a wet cough.

"Fuck, fuck, that's not good— I think he needs a hospital."

"You're the one who told me Bane is watching hospitals!"

"Yeah, but— Okay, Dr. Leslie's clinic, then. I'll call Whistler."

A black blur joins the purple and gray blurs. "How long?"

"For Whistler to get here? I'm not sure—"

The black blur prods at Damian's chest. He sputters out what would have been a scream.

"Can't put heavy pressure on the wounds because of the ribs. Not sure about his neck. He may not have time."

"Not sure how fast an ambulance would be, either—"

"I might have something," says the gray blur. "Where'd I put it— This."

"Perfume?" the black blur says.

"No, that's — it's supposed to be a half-dose of physician's cure. Gnomon won it in some sort of immortals' betting pool. Along with a bunch of other weird shit, but he let me have this since I don't heal like he does."

"Do you trust it?"

"I mean, not really, but if he's going to die anyway—"

"Whistler says Batman is fighting Firefly on Westwood Bridge and there's a six-car pile-up on Fifteenth Street," Brown reports grimly. "He doesn't think he can get a car here in less than an hour, maybe more, then it'd be at least another hour and a half to get to the clinic. If he's actively dying I vote for trying the magic cure."

"Okay, okay, let me — shit, I can't get the top off — V! What if he'd trapped it?"

The black blur moves in, grabs Damian's chin, and pours something into his mouth. It tastes like life.

"Vishnu! I was going to ask him!"

Faster than any non-magical substance could have taken effect, life shoots through Damian like electricity — he feels it in his neck, his back, his face, his chest and abdomen. It doesn't hurt, exactly, but he would not call it pleasant. His head is clearer, he can move, suddenly.

He sits up, and only doesn't bonk heads with 'black blur' because she's fast enough to get out of the way.

Damian takes stock.

Dirty alley in the Narrows. He knew that.

There's a moderately concerning amount of blood on the pavement around him. Fortunately the chance of anyone collecting DNA from random blood pools in the Narrows is currently very low.

The black blur and gray blur have disappeared. Brown is still there, as purple as always — though her costume does seem to have gotten sturdier since the last time they met, and her well-stocked utility belt speaks of an improved supply chain.

"Brown," he says, pleased to find his voice steady. "Explain."

"If you're talking to me, I'm Spoiler," Brown says brightly. "As for what happened, seems like Batman just tried to kill you, and my associates and I saved your life. You're welcome."

"…What associates." He does not accuse her of risking his life with a questionable magic potion, because they were likely right that it was his best chance: He was bleeding badly, had a head injury of indeterminate severity, the difficulty moving could have indicated spinal damage, and Bane is a potential threat in hospitals.

"My associates," Brown says. "You still look like shit. Do you have somewhere safe to go?"

Does he have somewhere safe to go.

Not the Cave.

Valley doesn't frequent the Manor, but he has access. The Manor is compromised.

All the usual safehouses are compromised.

But Valley can't be in all of them at once. If he's fighting Firefly on Westwood Bridge he can't be in any of them.

"There's a safehouse nearby," Damian says. Then, because he's on foot in the Narrows and he's not at his best and he is a mature vigilante who will not sacrifice efficacy for pride, "You may escort me."

"Oh, may I," Brown snarks. "Thank you for the opportunity, Your Woundedness. You want a band-aid before you leave a blood trail?"

The scratches that remain after the questionable magic potion aren't deep, but are bleeding sluggishly. They should be cleaned as well as bandaged when he has a moment — but now is not that moment. "Bandages would be appropriate, if you can spare some."

Damian almost changes his mind when Spoiler turns out to be carrying Titans-themed bandages, but he is a mature vigilante and he will not sacrifice efficacy for pride. He applies the bandages, and doesn't even try to refuse the Speedy one.

He gets to his feet without help, pulls his cape forward to hide the worst of damage to his uniform, and sets off with as much dignity as he can manage.

He manages not to wobble, mostly. But it is — preferable, that he is not unescorted.

Damian realizes quickly that both Spoiler's "associates" are keeping pace with them. "Gray blur" is a boy in a gray raincoat, hood drawn to hide his face. He keeps to parallel alleys and sometimes stops to speak to a local. "Black blur" is at roof level, and it takes longer to get a good enough look to see she's dressed as an assassin.

"You called your… associates Nimbus and Vishnu," Damian says, though technically it was Nimbus who called black blur Vishnu.

"Yeah, and?" Spoiler says belligerently.

"…Just verifying."

There are database entries for both those names.

'Nimbus' is a largely unknown figure — primarily an enemy of 'Gnomon', who is barely more known. (Everything in Gotham is in Batman's jurisdiction, of course. Just — purportedly-immortal entities employing magic or other extranormal forces who — despite an impression of malevolence — don't seem to be actively conniving at anything illegal are… less in Batman's jurisdiction. Most of the scant evidence that Gnomon is a villain comes from following some of Nimbus's tips. Since Bane destroyed Arkham Gnomon has fallen off the priority list completely.) The limited witness reports describe Nimbus as wearing gray and possibly a meta. They don't say he's young.

'Vishnu' has a very short record that Damian entered himself after his most recent semiannual phone call with Naje. They both make a point of never revealing any useful information but only sharing entertaining gossip. Thus, Damian would never say anything about how badly his father was taking Matt's death, but would relate how two Star City vigilantes had been caught fighting by the paparazzi and had to turn it into a 'catfight' they were both mortified about. Naje would never say what Nyssa was up to or even where she was, but she would relate how Lady Shiva's barely-teenage daughter had run away and started calling herself Vishnu and had last been spotted sabotaging mid-level assassins in east Asia.

Damian is not sure how either of them ended up meeting Spoiler, much less working with her, but he guesses she would not be receptive to inquiries at this time.

Both Nimbus and Vishnu come closer when Damian leads Spoiler down an exterior staircase and picks the lock on a basement door. Damian pretends he doesn't notice them following into the boiler room — someone without Damian's training might genuinely not have noticed; obviously Shiva's daughter is stealthy but Nimbus is subtler than Damian expected.

Attention really intensifies when he goes through the complicated trick lock in the back, but—

"That looks like more of an equipment locker than a safehouse," Spoiler says critically.

"It's safe for the equipment," Damian says shortly. Both Narrows 'safehouses' are more equipment stashes in rarely-visited sheltered spaces, safe enough to perform first aid or catch one's breath; they aren't meant for going to ground. This stash is the less secure one and contains nothing identifiably Batman-related: Medical supplies, civilian clothing, food, bottled water, cash, and — most immediately important — prepaid mobile phones.

"Who are you going to call?" Spoiler asks, when Damian takes one and starts it up.

"He's going to call the real Batman, obviously," Vishnu replies, with complete confidence and far closer than Damian realized she'd gotten. She's dressed like a Shadow assassin, mostly, except for black tennis shoes with mismatched red and purple laces. And a small cartoon bat barrette.

Damian eyes her warily. "What makes you say that?"

"Vishnu and Whistler have been insisting there's a substitute Batman since that thing with Bane," Spoiler says. "I've been arguing he was trying new strategies for a change, but pushing Blackbird off a roof is outside what I can explain with that, so, yeah."

"Shouldn't bet against me," Vishnu says. With her assassin-mask covering the lower half of her face the smirk doesn't show, but you can still hear it.

"I wasn't betting against you, I was betting against Whistler—"

"I'm going to step outside for better reception," Damian says, deciding to set aside the problem of two of Spoiler's associates somehow immediately realizing there had been a Batman change. "This drop will have to be burned, so you may as well take anything you like from the supplies."

He steps outside, closes the door behind him, and calls his father's personal phone number.

It goes directly to voicemail without ringing.

Damian leaves a cryptic message — Valley's mental illness has returned, the situation in Gotham is becoming untenable, please return the call as soon as possible.

Alfred's phone also goes directly to voicemail. Damian repeats his message.

He tries Bruce's phone again.

Then Alfred's phone again.

Then Bruce's.

He looks at the phone and tries to ignore the discomfort of his bloody uniform and remaining injuries.

Hopefully they will get the messages and return his call, but that does nothing to help him now. The Cave and Manor are compromised, and he can't trust any of Batman's safehouses, not to let down his guard in.

The cash in the equipment drop should be enough for a hotel room for several days — longer in a cheaper establishment. For that matter while Damian's civilian credit card is still in the Manor, he has the information memorized and should be able to make online reservations and payments. Unfortunately traceable if anyone is paying any attention, but it's an option. It's what he would do if he were sure he'd just be waiting a few days for his father and Alfred to return.

That would be the optimal scenario and it is not impossible, but Damian isn't one for falsely high expectations.

(And if his father comes back before finding a cure, will he even be able to deal with Valley?)

He could call Kelley in New York. She hates him, but Damian is confident that seeing Azrael's unhinged behavior she would realize the necessity of working with Damian to control the situation. Her precious Titans should be able to handle Azrael's claws.

…Damian cannot imagine what his father would say if Damian invited a circus of juvenile metahumans (plus Speedy) into Gotham. He does not want to imagine. And having a circus of juvenile metahumans take down even an abnormal Batman would be terrible for long-term control over the city. He can't do that.

There's Terrence in Bludhaven. He doesn't have Terrence's number, though.

Nor does he want to talk to him, really.

(Damian's enmity with Kelley is — clean. She dislikes him because of his behavior towards her when he first came to Gotham, which in hindsight was appalling. He gets that. Damian used to dislike Kelley for a lot of foolish reasons, but now he dislikes her because her loyalties are with the Titans as much as with Batman and she wouldn't come back when Batman needed her most. She gets that. In an acute emergency such grudges may be set aside.)

(Damian's enmity with Terrence is tangled up in the Wayne name and Wayne blood, in who is rightfully Bruce's heir. It's tangled up in their various grievances and frustrations with Bruce, and judging each other's grievances and frustrations. And most of all it's tangled up with Matthew — they both loved Matthew, and sometimes tolerated each other for Matthew, and now Matthew is dead. Damian knows it isn't really Terrence's fault any more than it's really Bruce's fault, but Terrence blames Bruce, so Damian blames Terrence.)

Damian still has Clark Kent's phone number memorized, but he hasn't spoken to the alien since Jon returned to his home dimension and he doesn't want to. Besides, Bruce decided not to get the Justice League involved — he told them he was taking a sabbatical from Justice League activities to focus on Gotham crises, but not about his injuries or that the Batman in Gotham would be a substitute. Damian won't undermine that.

Right.

Setting aside the hero end of things, looking only for a long-term safe place to stay — there are his Kane relatives. If the authorities knew Bruce Wayne's son didn't feel able to live in the Manor in his father's absence, they would look to the Kanes. (The less said about Great-Aunt Agatha Wayne and her "daughter", the better.)

And if Katherine Kane were in town— Bruce's favorite cousin is sharp and principled and possibly planning to take up vigilantism, and if she does Bruce might even tell her about Batman. Damian would be willing to stay with her. Unfortunately part of the evidence for her possible future vigilantism is a lot of overseas travel visiting obscure martial arts instructors, and she is not currently in Gotham.

And the rest of the Kanes hate him. Well, Jacob Kane has had positive things to say about Damian's 'toughness' and 'discipline', but Damian doesn't like him and he doesn't live in Gotham anyway. Robert Kane is Bruce's uncle who lives in town, the one in line to inherit the bulk of the fortune when their father finally dies, and Robert hates Damian. Most of Robert's family also hates Damian, except for Mary-Elizabeth ("Bette"), who is twelve years old and very annoying. And Robert's house would still be better than Great-Grandmother Elizabeth Kane's.

He tries Alfred's phone again.

Then Bruce's.

Then Alfred's.

He starts dialing Kelley's number, but doesn't get all the way through the area code before deciding he should wait until morning and try Bruce again first before inviting outsiders into Gotham.

The door behind him opens. "Hey," Spoiler says. "So when you said to take anything you want from the supplies, did that include the cash?"

"I need some of the currency," Damian says emotionlessly. "And a change of clothing."

"Whoa," Spoiler says. "You all right? Could you not get through to Real Batman?"

…Spoiler's not an outsider.

Not an insider, either, the way Batman always tried to get her to quit, but not an outsider like the Titans or the Justice League. She's stubborn and annoying and amateurish, and there are a lot of things Damian would prefer not to trust her with, but—

"Not yet," Damian admits. "Your… associates. Vishnu and Nimbus and… Whistler." (Vishnu and Nimbus are respectable vigilante names. Whistler is questionable.) "Do you trust them?"

"Those three? Absolutely," Spoiler says immediately. "Not that I don't trust the others, but those three in particular are… yes, I trust them."

How many associates does Spoiler have? No matter. "I… I may require your assistance."

Spoiler stares. "No shit?"

"Just until the true Batman returns," Damian hastens to add. "But I have no timeline on that and the situation is critical now." Should he elaborate? "The acting Batman is… likely under some level of delusion that he is a crusading Knight Templar, and it is possible this may lead him to target civilians."

Spoiler blinks. "Huh. Wow. Okay, yeah, let's talk to the others."

Back at the supply drop, Vishnu and Nimbus have found the sturdy backpacks and duffle bags and already loaded them with all the medical supplies and prepaid phones and most of the food. Vishnu is sorting through clothing while Nimbus counts cash. (Up close, he can see that Nimbus is wearing gray jeans and a gray hooded raincoat; his face under the hood is obscured by some manner of veil.)

"Blackbird is gonna need some of that, N," Spoiler says. "He also may need help dealing with Fake Batman, who might be going crazy. I'm up for it, and I'm sure Whistler will be—"

"Have you called to tell him Blackbird is alive?"

"I texted. What about you two?"

"I will help," Vishnu says at once.

Nimbus hesitates a little longer, but then nods. "Crazy Batman can't be good news for anyone, and I'm kind of involved already. I'll do what I can."

"Excellent," Damian says. "…Do you have any safehouses?"

They do.

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I have just been posting the "everyone is Spoiler" au on AO3 haphazardly as I write it but this is clearly foolish. I should be haphazardly posting it here and putting something more polished on AO3. OBVIOUSLY.

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If you haven’t changed your url in years tell me why as someone in your same boat it’s for science

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I would argue that it's usually hat, but not quite always.

First, consider the "exposed, vulnerable" shade of meaning of naked. There are many circumstances under which walking around without shoes leaves you exposed and vulnerable. There are also some circumstances in which a lack of hat leaves you exposed and vulnerable, but in most of them you wouldn't want to be shoeless, either.

The primary exception I can think of is a combination of warm temperatures, bright light, and a forgiving underfoot surface. At the beach, say, or on a trusted lawn. Indoors when the sun is low and there aren't adequate curtains.

Next, consider naked as in "not enough clothing". There do exist settings in which someone without a hat is considered underdressed. I believe that there are a lot more settings where no shoes is a problem. (I have never seen a "no shirt, no hat, no service" sign.) Therefore shoes are a more significant component of dressed-ness.

So the person wearing only a hat is more naked, unless it is a warm sunny day at the beach or similar, in which case it's debatable.

—Which of them looks sillier is a separate question.

Let's settle something.

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Speef is real to me. I'm sorry for that.

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Maybe she foresaw it'd be fine if she didn't say anything and wanted to put off any conniptions.

So apparently both common Sindarin words for Men were translated from Quenya because the Sindar didn't know about them until they showed up and the Noldor explained them.

I'm surprised Melian didn't say something earlier. We wouldn't want a repeat of the petty-dwarves. Maybe she thought the Sindar had learned their lesson about assumptions?

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Anyway how I got on the "words for Men" subject is thinking about whether it makes sense for elves to say "peredhel".

See, my inclination is to say that humans would say "half-elf" and elves would say "half-human". This feels obvious and intuitive to me. You highlight the weird thing. Not sure if it does to other people?

However you would want a "half-elf" category if not all half-elves are half-human, and technically there was at least one half-elf who was not half human, namely Lúthien. Hmm.

It would make sense for Sindarin-speaking Edain to call Elrond and Elros "peredhil". Did the elves adopt the term from that?

—As far as I can tell Dior, Elwing, Eluréd, Elurín, and Eärendil are not generally referred to as half-elves before Eärendil and Elwing get to Valinor. None of them had a lot of contact with Men in general. Eärendil had a little more maybe.

So I think I like the idea that "peredhil", despite being a Sindarin word, was coined by Edain in the late First/early Second Age, specifically referring to Elros and Elrond. Elrond kept on using it and he was the most prominent half-elf around, so it passed into common elven usage as well.

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Anyway the reason I got on this subject is I was trying to decide the Pelnûrlam word for Men. I think the most likely options are:

Something derived from word for natural death, because that is pretty obvious.

Something derived from "second", if Ulmo's maiar explained anything to them.

Something derived from "third", because actually dwarves came before them.

Something derived from "water", because the People of the Pearls thought they came from the water and for a long time the Pelnûru took their word for it.

Thoughts?

So apparently both common Sindarin words for Men were translated from Quenya because the Sindar didn't know about them until they showed up and the Noldor explained them.

I'm surprised Melian didn't say something earlier. We wouldn't want a repeat of the petty-dwarves. Maybe she thought the Sindar had learned their lesson about assumptions?

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So apparently both common Sindarin words for Men were translated from Quenya because the Sindar didn't know about them until they showed up and the Noldor explained them.

I'm surprised Melian didn't say something earlier. We wouldn't want a repeat of the petty-dwarves. Maybe she thought the Sindar had learned their lesson about assumptions?

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Never seen the Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking trope in a tinder profile before

the order and choice of which things are in all caps is incredible

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Comments on Foundling People Ch 8: [commenting on sadness, heartbreak, how hard a time Ziais had] Me: Huh, I didn't think it was that bad. Me: *remembering how Ziais died* oh right

I think I may have busted my gloom-meter over the course of naming 400-ish goblin-men of Dunland and assigning death dates to 300-ish of them.

Okay the next Foundling People chapter is going to be about the first of the not-yet-called-Hirnedhrim to choose the elves and get reembodied. Let's say… Charnabon, and—

Dammit, wait, Zena's account indicates Charnabon died after the hill-fort was built, along with Coicolida, Zired, Aprus, Sargetia, Parthia, and Artaki, and… I've currently assigned exactly one of them a death date after the hill-fort is built.

Coicolida's death date would need to be adjusted, but I haven't said enough about the others that I couldn't swap their names — except Charnabon.

Actually you know what? Zena's account implies that, it doesn't say that. Maybe she was going to write '[list of names] all came up with plans over the years, though most didn't live to see it'. Who knows. I'm not changing their names in my master timeline; I may or may not retcon what Zena says.

Okay, never mind that kerfuffle, first reembodied… idk what the singular should be is Charnabon.

The Valar figure it'd be irresponsible to just turn him loose with no one to look after him — that's considered irresponsible with any newly reembodied — so they have to ask someone to be a… sponsor? mentor? babysitter? help Charabon get settled in, anyway.

They are willing to share the information:

He's a peredhel.

He literally never met an elf before he died. No, not even his elven parent. No elves, ever.

He was raised meanly among Middle Men ill-disposed towards elves.

The Valar are being discrete at the moment and not advertising:

His father was an orc at the time of his parents' encounter.

His father was Eöl.

He has hundreds of half-siblings.

He spent his life thinking of himself as half-goblin and only learned otherwise in Mandos.

I think Estë's preferred candidates for helper are:

Kalmornel Arndelsel. Why? Also his half-sibling. Cons: They don't have anything in common besides a father they both hate and fear. Also, Dî-Pelndoru is fairly urbanized and would be a shock.

Dior: Why? Okay, so when people are reembodied without any family or friends waiting for them, sometimes their king or queen attends them instead. It doesn't happen much lately, but it's still custom, and Dior is still standing as King of the Iathrim, and Eöl was basically one of the Iathrim no matter how much people wish he never was, so… not an obligation exactly but a structure of interaction there? Also, peredhel.

—I'm leaning towards Dior but it would feel silly not to consider the actual related choice.

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The other reason I'm generally annoyed with the "Abolish X" crowd who actually DO mean "abolish X" and not a watered-down version is that ime they very rarely have fully thought out the implications of what they're demanding and then get angry when other people ask about it.

"Family abolition means completely removing legal ties for family units and allowing all children the choice of where they live" okay. So if I see a three-year-old throwing a fit because she doesn't want to leave the park, and I go over and tell her if she comes home with me she can stay as long as she likes and then we'll get McDonald's on the way home, that three-year-old should have the ability to make that decision? The parent or guardian has no legal recourse to stop me from taking her? Cause if the answer's no, that's not abolition, that's reform baby!

"I'm done talking about what we'll do with rapists and murderers after we abolish prisons, it's all anybody ever wants to talk about!" Well yeah man! 98% of people just interpreted your words as "we're going to let murderers roam around killing people at will"! You need to explain very clearly what plans you have that will stop them that aren't incarceration or you're not going to make any headway! And if your answer involves any form of "well of course SOME people can't be allowed total freedom" - that's not abolition, that's reform baby!

I'm not even gonna touch the number of people who think we should abolish the police and replace them with what are essentially roaming squads of vigilantes dispensing "community justice", whatever the fuck that means.

Like these aren't "gotcha" questions, they're legitimate problems you're going to have to contend with. And if you wave away all these questions with "you're just making up ridiculous scenarios" and "we'll think of something to fix that once we destroy the current system", then yeah actually, I DO think you care more about sounding radical than about making any kind of change.

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hmmmmm person in writing group thinks I have the wrong approach by saying story is about character and the things that happen to him, it should be about the character and the things he makes happen. what does he want, why doesn't he have it, what is he willing to do to get it.

but mostly what he wants most of the time is to get another step up the Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs pyramid. why doesn't he have it? because he was dealt a shitty hand. what's he willing to do to get it? well eventually he's willing to go off on a weird expedition but we're up near the top of the needs pyramid by then. earlier he's willing to express and enforce boundaries, ask for help, and acknowledge what he needs.

earlier than that the question wouldn't make sense to him because he believes with bone-deep certainly that he can't help himself. oh, he does day-to-day tasks because his life would be worse if he didn't, there are things he could do or not do to make his life worse that he is not doing, but the idea that the status quo could ever get better rings very false to him, and the idea that he could change anything more false. he's got trauma blinders. what he's willing to do is swear a dangerous magical oath opening himself up to a great and terrible power which he could get executed for, but he doesn't have any kind of plan for how to improve his life with that.

I can change where the story starts but it is critical to the character that he has that long stretch of time where what he wants is for everything not to be so terrible and what he's willing to do is keep trying.

I don't know, I feel like this story wants to be a bildungsroman and it doesn't need to have a snappy plot. but I do want it to be engaging. sigh. maybe this just isn't going to work.

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would you guys like to see a real illustration from an actual published scientific paper? of course you would

link to the paper

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Book!Smaug is small enough that he could, like, go places and talk to people if he wanted to. Smaug is not not smart. Movie!Smaug could go full kaiju and kill everyone including Kira. So… maybe catch?

For the second part, perhaps we should ask: Could Kira stop the Smaug murders reign of terror?

If we consider Smaug a person for the Death Note's purposes I think it could kill him. Smaug introduces himself with sufficient destruction it would probably immediately seem like a good idea to kill him. (If he's considered a natural disaster for the Death Note's purposes then, well, better invest in a harpoon gun?)

So I think… I don't have a theory about which way it would go, but I'm reasonably confident at least one of them ends up dead, and possibly both.

[ceescedasticity]

One of those insidious little things I notice sometimes is how much the window of 'appropriate for children' content has shrunk within the past 20 years. The range of things it is socially acceptable to show a 10-year-old has never been more limited, and it's happened incredibly quickly.

Take, for instance, Star Trek: TNG. I grew up watching TNG. I was a little young for it as it was airing, but it got syndicated almost immediately and they would show an episode most weekday evenings on the Space Channel, and I'd watch it with my lifelong Trekkie mom. This was a very common thing. I was by no means unusual for watching Star Trek as a child.

Star Trek: TNG has lots of sex in it! It's never explicit (unless you have a particularly niche interpretation of some of the borg stuff) but on many an occasion you'll have a few characters doing a bit of making out followed by a closing door or fade to black, and then they wake up in bed together. If you know what sex is, you know that is what is being implied here. Even my 8-year-old self, whose understanding of the subject mostly came from books of ancient mythology that used words like 'ravish' and 'the pleasures of the couch' a whole bunch, could tell that what was happening was sex.

And I am not bringing this up as a 'see, I watched all this inappropriate stuff and I turned out just fine!'. I'm bringing it up to argue that TNG's level of sexual content is not inappropriate for children (I'm not using the legalese 'minors', because I think that lumping children and teenagers together in this conversation would make it nonsense. Star Trek is obviously appropriate for teenagers. Don't use 'minors' when you mean either children or teens, it just muddies the waters).

The point is that Star Trek: TNG was very obviously designed to be watched by children and teenagers. There's a whole character in the main cast whose role in the show is to be an audience insert for children and teenagers. The moral tone of TNG, its occasional dips into 'don't do drugs, kids' type messaging, and its general avoidance of graphic violence all scream 'we are designing this with an audience of children - but not just children - in mind'. It's a family show. It's supposed to be watched by the whole family.

Which means that, until at least the end of the 90s, this amount of sexual content was generally considered appropriate for kids to see. It's not pornographic - it's not even graphic. Maybe the very most conservative parents wouldn't let their kids watch TNG, but that might have had more to do with all the socialism and atheism.

So, why did that change? Why do we now have such a strong bullwark between 'things kids are allowed to know about' and 'things for GROWN UPS ONLY 18+ Minors DNI', and why have we relegated even the most discreet references to sex to the second category only?

And the next time you find yourself experiencing that knee-jerk 'think of the children' reaction, consider: would what you're looking at have been ok on Star Trek: TNG in the 90s?

[ceescedasticity]

Sometimes I feel like we really screwed ourselves over with ACAB because here we are, no closer to sweeping reform, and the police are just getting more right-wing radicalized, and maybe that would be happening anyway but we've been telling people who might want to make it better not to even try. I get they mainly weren't succeeding but surely that's better than everyone there actively trying to make things worse? They're better off if they don't even try, but is everyone else?

Sweeping reform is needed but that's not happening and in the meantime let's take this powerful group which will often be our enemy and make sure it's filled entirely with people who would be our enemies no matter what. That just… doesn't seem like it was a good idea.