#no one knows this but my dad killed jfk

[sliceocheese]

IS YOUR BIRTHDAY ON THE JFK ASSASSINATION DAY 😭

helllllllllllllllllllll yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa >:)

[inbabylontheywept]

The Mormon Heretic Casts a Curse

So, this is a sequel piece to The Mormon Heretic and the Leviathan. @apolloendymion requested that I write some more of the stories, and this is another one. I'm going to put a trigger warning here that the story does involve partner abuse. Not from the heretic, but just... as a detail. Also, I guess, some medical stuff that involves death. It's Old Testament shit. Take it as you will.

Mormon seminary has four separate courses about the four separate parts of their canon. It’s on a constant rotation, and my particular ordering was Old Testament, then New Testament, then Book of Mormon, then Doctrine and Covenants. 

I got the Mormon Heretic for my OT year, which is 100% the best year I could have possibly got him for. And, also, absolutely the worst, because at that time I was a very orthodox Mormon, and this guy couldn’t have fucked with my brain worse if JFK’s dad gave him an icepick and a waiver. 

At that time I had an abysmal understanding of the OT, and to call my experience with it jarring would be an understatement. I learned that Elohim is a plural word. I learned that OT God itself doesn’t deny the existence of other Gods, and in fact relished challenging them to contests. The whole experience was so insane to me that I stayed after class one day to ask the teacher how he managed to bridge the divide between the OT and the NT. They're insanely different theologies, and he really refused to mince words about it.

He listened to my concerns, and I cried a little because I was fourteen and beginning to realize that there was something fundamentally wrong with the religion I was born into, and when it was all said and done he said that tomorrow he would teach the story of how he squared away the differences between OT God and NT God. 

And he did. 

I can remember having a sense that something was strange when we arrived at the building. There was a crosswalk where the exiting teenagers would pass the entering teenagers, and normally people would discuss the lesson as they passed. The group we passed just looked shell shocked. 

I sat down. The class arrived. Heretic stood up, and went to the front of the class, and he began his tale: 

He had a little sister that got married at nineteen. She then started making visits to the hospital. 

He, like his family, assumed that she was just clumsy. He was clumsy. He’d had multiple surgeries on his shoulders and his elbows and his knees because he kept doing dumb things to himself.

She was not clumsy. Her husband was beating her. 

She got a divorce. Heretic was old when the story was being told - I think in his early sixties? - and the divorce went shockingly well for the time. Sister was not blamed, husband was ostracized from both families, and life found a way to continue in its slow way. 

Heretic was, at that point, a new teacher in the Church Education System (CES). He was trying to be a spiritual guy, and teach spiritual lessons, but he just wasn’t doing a very good job because he was really, really, murderously angry with the guy that had hurt his sister. 

Sister had moved on. Or, he thought she had, he was hardly telepathic, but he felt like she’d let go and started her life anew, and her parents had supported her, and even her in laws had supported her, and things should have been easy to let go of, but they weren’t. And every day that he tried to let go, he got more and more angry, and every day he tried to pretend he was fine he ripped the wound wider, and one day he taught a spectacularly bad lesson and came home and wanted nothing more than to kill the man that had beat his sister. He instead said a prayer. I cannot quote it verbatim, but this is very, very close to what was said. “God, I know that I must forgive to be forgiven, but I want nothing more than to see that animal choke to death on his own shit.”(I know for a fact that the choke on shit part was in it. It is not a common thing to hear a seminary teacher say “shit” in the middle of class. It is also integral to the rest of the story) If this was a book, there would’ve been an immediate result, but instead Heretic felt a strange peace, grabbed ahold of it like a lifeline, and resolved to go to therapy. Which is how he got into Jungian analysis. Finding therapy in the deep South in 1980 was pretty wild. Jump cut forward to the early 2000s. Heretic has moved on. Sister is remarried. He is at peace with the world, but he gets a call from his sisters old in-laws. 

And the in-laws say that yes, they have ostracized the abuser for the last twenty years, but they got a call from him a few hours ago to please, meet him at the hospital, because he was sick. 

And the abuser was, in fact, very sick. He’d been vomiting for days. The doctors couldn’t figure out why, but they knew that at the present rate, they were running out of time. He was going to have some kind of exploratory surgery as a hail Mary, and the guy wanted a blessing first. 

And so the family had gone to Heretic, to ask him if he would be willing to bless the man that had beat his sister. It is one thing, to feel like you have forgiven someone enough to move on, and another to wish good things upon them. But Heretic had spent years and years in therapy, and he developed on an incredibly spiritual path, and he said that yes, he would bless the man before the surgery. 

And he did. 

The surgery found that the man had a benign mass in his colon. It wasn’t spreading, but it had grown large enough to prevent food from going around it. Without an exit, things had built up back to the entrance. The man was throwing up because there was nowhere else for the shit to go. Worse, during the surgery he thrown up and some of the mix had managed to drain back into the man’s lungs. He survived the knife, but the combination of fecal matter and acid inside his lungs had created an infection that he failed to survive. He drowned in his own fluids. 

He drowned in his own shit. 

Now, at that point, the class had no idea where this was going. We were a bunch of children, hearing a story about this insane divine retribution, but the Heretic continued. 

And with tears in his eyes, he told us that God had answered his original prayer only after he had fully and truly forgiven that man. That if he’d wished death on another human being in anger, in rage, and then received it, it would have damned his soul, but that as soon as he was at peace, as soon as he could wish life and love upon the man that had wronged his kin, justice could be brought down. And be believed it, with his entire heart. He spoke about how God wants to give us what we want, but that he loves us so much that we will not give it to us until we have reached the point where it is not poison to us. We will have our revenge, but only when it is meaningless to us. When the only lesson that could be grabbed from it is that God heard us the first time, and held back out of love. Then, we will see those who had wronged us choke on their shit.  

The bell rang after that, and we left the class in a daze. When we went across the crosswalk, no one spoke a word to the students crossing the opposite way. We were all too busy thinking. 

[kennedycore]

do u think jfk was pressured to be president

This is a tricky question to answer but I'll try my best:

Joe Sr. was originally grooming Joe Jr. to be president, and he was the one who was going to run for congress after WWII, not Jack.

So, at that point, I don't think it crossed Jack's mind at all to run for office. Joe was designated as "The One" and their dad was going to spend all of his efforts into getting Joe Jr. elected.

According to his friends, Jack originally wanted to be a journalist or a historian/author. He wrote his first book, Why England Slept, went to fight in WWII, came back and had a stint as a foreign correspondent travelling around Europe and writing political articles for Hearst Newspapers (which you can read on the JFK library site).

However....

We do know that Joe Sr. severely messed up his kids by making them hypercompetitive and cut-throat with each other. Joe Jr. literally died because he couldn't stand that JFK, his younger brother, was regarded as a war hero after PT-109 and he wasn't, so he took on an insanely dangerous mission in a last effort to be heroic and ended up being killed during said mission. That absolutely was influenced by the fact that Joe Sr. had high expectations of Joe Jr. in politics, and Joe wanted to earn medals from the war for his future career and father's pride.

The common belief is that after Joe Jr. died, Joe Sr. shifted his hopes of a Kennedy presidency to JFK, who was very uncertain of what he wanted to do in his life. He briefly tried being a reporter, like I mentioned earlier, and then quit and entered politics.

Jack graduated with a degree in government and had always described politics as "a noble profession". So maybe the interest was always there? But he just didn't think of it as a reality since the spotlight was on Joe Jr. Ultimately, no one really knows.

Personally, I do think he was pressured, whether directly or indirectly by his father, to become president. Maybe he would've entered politics if Joe was still alive and took on the role that Bobby had later on, of being "the second in command", but had Joe Jr. lived, Jack in my opinion absolutely would not have been president.

TLDR: Too complicated to give you a specific answer since it involves factors like Joe's untimely death - but in my opinion, I think he was pressured by his father since Joe Jr. wasn't around anymore to fulfill their father's dream of becoming president, and Joe Sr. was hellbent on having a Kennedy become POTUS.

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

The Kennedys

Almost as we go back in time, in the beginning, the Kennedys were like the American Royal family, and we praise and liked by a lot of people, they had this liking and following, they obviously also had the other side, this happens with politics all time and we’re always given a certain agenda.

So I think you have to go do your own research, and find something in between the narrative you can see both, in one saying which I like to say is two things can be true. So what I wanted to talk about was the Kennedy curse.

The Kennedys were a big family who grew up in around Long Island, and the East coast of America, Jack Kennedy had a few sisters, one of which could rosemary, who then you could not be any sort of crazy, and it was all sort of branded is the same kind of, they were either schizophrenic or hysterical, hysteria.

Where is there is more labels which is a good and bad thing, but I think more of a good thing because, things get treated for different ways, if I’m being honest, a lot of mental health has not improved as well. Help with your mental health seems to be really hard.. Rosemary Rosemary, not acting how a Kennedy should, she skipping school, meeting with boys, and just doing normal teenage things. You’d probably call her nowadays, autistic or BPD.. but nothing out of the ordinary. anyway the father secretly has his daughter a lobotomised and this is another sad fact, ladies is 80% of lobotomy patience were women. so the evil dad gets her lobotomised for these behaviours that weren’t even that you know, for that time, maybe for that class also.

Anyway, he keeps it a secret from the family  years later to come ! But they talk about the Kennedy curse , two of the Kennedys , died in praying crashes along with JFK’s son his mother didn’t want him to die and wish was for him not to get on an aeroplane of course , like every other story . They must have deep family trauma that didn’t get solved in their lifetime ,,,,, and then two of the brothers to get assassinated . So this thing is real .

So as per usual lobotomy failed of course . And then the family didn’t visit her from many years later and until because I were kept in it it was kept a secret even the mum didn’t know .

But they were all about keeping up appearances , and very popular in there , establishment , and obviously . I can’t even imagine how the mum must’ve felt like where has my, the same time I’m thinking and I’m bombastically side eyeing the mum, she must’ve known. unless he said I’ve sent her off to a camp and only I can talk to her because that’s what those generations were like back then.😭🧐🤨😫 poor rosemary though, I hope she had a better life in a care home. Then around those sick fucks.

Then JFK Junior, he had a tumultuous relationship with his lady friend, were on an off for many years, soulmate kind of relationship, like very heavy karmic, which led them both, being killed in a plane crash, with him his wife and her sister. I even think how good-looking JFK Junior is when his parents weren’t that good looking, but he got the. Best Both of them. But their relationship was very erratic and they have arguments in the street and he have his dog and his bike..

[brothermoth]

See I need to share my dad's lore because someone needs to study this man like a bug. We plan to donate his body to science so a bunch of medical students can see the most brain damage a person can possibly have without losing major bodily function.

Now, my grandparents moved around a bit when their kids were little, but my dad spent most of his childhood in rural New York and the middle of bumfuck nowhere in a cottage (it's a shack, make no mistake) on the shore of lake Erie. His parents did not know what the fuck he was doing at any given moment. This guy was diagnosed with ADHD in the SEVENTIES. Do you even know how bad he had to be to get diagnosed in the 70s??

He was a menace of a child but his parents put him in tball instead of getting the little bastard some much needed Adderall. He was super athletic all his life (didn't pass those genes on to me, unfortunately) but this also went along with deeply concerning injuries in the way every boy in the 70s had at one point or another.

He has:

-had his EAR ripped almost completely off while playing middle school football — he duck-taped it back on and it just kinda healed itself

-fell into a storm cellar backwards and got knocked out when he was like 5

-been hit in the head by a hockey stick and knocked out

-had his head smash through a wooden door playing floor hockey in gym class

-broke his leg that one time and then tried out for his highschool wrestling team with the cast on (he got on and ended up being captain)

-broke his thumb and didn't tell anyone, then had to have it re broken at the doctor's

-got knocked out in at least 4 fights

-had his knee replaced in his early 30s, drove himself to the gas station to buy a 12 pack, then fell down the stairs with said 12 pack, smashed half the bottles, and popped stitches out

-broken the same toe at least twice; the nail turned black and fell off the first time

-broke his nose falling out of bed like three months ago

-lost a tooth playing hockey

-cut the tip of his thumb off with a hand saw while camping; duck-taped it and continued camping for another 3 days

-has had at least 20 fishhooks caught in his hands

-had Bell's Palsy a few years ago (he was fine he just couldn't eat soup for a while and it was hilarious)

-had too many drinks and burned off his fingerprints on the side of a mini fire pit (the kind that looks like a paint can), laughed about it, and went golfing the next day with huge blisters on his fingers

~~~~~

I'm missing so many. So many. It's a miracle he reproduced. He has so much brain damage but he's fine, he just ignores it.

~~~~~~~~~~Robert's Greatest Hits~~~~~~~~~~

[In Boston] "Oh yeah that used to be an IRA bar. I think I'm still banned for getting into a fight."

"You know my buddy REDACTED? Yeah he got electrocuted once. Almost died, I visited him in the ICU a couple times, he's fine now though."

"I went into a gas station in rural Florida once, super hungover. My buddy went in and came out with tears in his eyes saying don't go in there, so of course I had to. Guy at the counter had a wooden peg leg like a pirate, and there was a nail screwed in. Attached to the nail was a chain and at the end of the chain was a super sickly looking chicken. Weirdest thing I've ever seen, I think."

"You know that plane crash that killed JFK Jr? His girlfriend he was with—i dated her in college."

"Who's that singer? Dupa Loopa or whatever"

~~~~~~Unhinged Information~~~~~~~~

—his childhood babysitter was the actress who now voices Eda from the Owl House (I've met her twice she's very nice. I fell down the back steps of her mom's cottage once)

—He used to bring home water moccasins (y'know, the venomous snakes) and show them to his very terrified mother

—they had a golden retriever named Toby and nobody can remember if she was a boy or a girl

—while cleaning out the basement he found his ID card from the World Trade Center when he went for a business trip...ON AUGUST 10TH OF 2001

—he lived in Boston in his 20s and took a bet while absolutely hammered to run the Boston Marathon, did it hungover and placed like 200-somethingth

—ate a spider by accident one time because he thought it was a bread crumb from his sandwich

—will drive out of his way just to see car accidents

—man's a sympathy vomiter

—will pet literally any animal. If it's small and sweet he's immediately just ready to commit a crime for it

—likes to pick fights with cops but only if they're rude first. He has gone to court to fight 14 dollar parking tickets just out of spite (and somehow he always talks himself out of it)

—swears to god he's seen aliens

—has hardcore puzzle autism. He'll stay up until 1 am just to get 12 more pieces and will finish a 1200 piece puzzle in a day

—also fish autism I swear to God

—you can put this guy in the middle of nowhere and he somehow always knows where north is

[omaegorverse]

could you give us a timeline for the omaegorverse? i've been studying the family tree for a solid 3 days now (genuinely a few hours a day it's becoming a problem) and i need to know more. oh beloved oracle satisfy my craving for insane asoiaf aus tell me moreeee

OK listing the history below seperated by kings

have maegor era from the 40s to 66 AC, peak omegafication dark evil era everyone's a little scared. several harsh long winters. jaehaerys viserra daenys born. getting raised poorly. jaehaerys is beaing beat, viserra is the golden child, daenys is viserys' comfort doll. maegor has cemented his rule and has rhaena on his side through hostages.

jaehaerys i era 66 through 92. got leadership beat into him by maegor. viserra is gotten herself kicked out of the westerlands (married into the lannisters, killed her husband and his mother to have blood magic twins, pissed everyone off) and is now girlbossing through the riverlands married into harrenhal. in 77AC viserys and daenys do a dragon dream murder suicide at the god's eye. jaehaerys has six kids with his wife maris hightower. she kills him cos his dick led him to hole (a hightower bastard) which led to their daughter dying (the bastard convinced him to wed their daughter maegelle to lord hightower).

aegon ii 92 AC through 99 AC. in his mid-twenties when he ascends to the throne. his reign is mostly marked by a civil war between him and his twin brother aerion, mostly over their sister helaena who aerion kidnapped (helen of troy.) they both die fighting above dragonstone.

viserys i 99AC through 120AC. DYNASTIC CRISIS after aegon dies because one of aegon's wives (daenaera velaryon) locks herself and her children (including aegon's heir) in dragonstone and a great council decides on aegon's brother viserys inheriting as king regent. marked by aegon's other wife jocasta lannister's consolidation of power to back the inheritance of her sons with aegon over daenaera's. also marked by viserys' insane wife alyssa arryn going ham with a priestess of r'hllor

120-128 PRINCESS REGENT DAENERYS TARGARYEN. she swoops into power as regent for aegon's descendants via daenaera in order to curb jocasta lannister. pretty good queen. more jocasta power-grabbing, + her son jaehaerys

128-136 aegon's grandson daeron i turns 14 and asks his great-auntie dany for the throne back please. he's a bit sheltered and is here for glory doesnt care much for rule or power. does a dorne conquest, assassinated by jaehaerys who, while daeron was doing war, had been consolidating allies at court. jaehaerys killed daeron while daeron was at his peace wedding with the princess of dorne. red wedding teehee. all secret of course, officially it was dornish rebels who wanted to stay independent but like everybody knows it was jaehaerys

136-144 jaehaerys ii son of aegon ii finally gets his throne. has like two dozen kids. originally his faith wife was alysanne tully and his blood wife was aerea bastard daughter of helaena and aerion, but aerea died and he remarried to viserys i's blood magic baby alysanne targaryen. has several concubines. his kids are a powder keg and he gets JFK'd by his daughter elaena, whom aerea died birthing

144-147 short reign of aegon iii. his elder brothers viserys and maegor were also JFK'd and he was stuck with the throne. hamlet if his dad was claudius. his younger brothers aemond and aerys cause problems for him. dies of over-exhaustion trying to solve the JFK mystery and also rule the seven kingdoms and deal with his horrible little brothers

147-184 reign of aerys i targaryen. religious fanatic groomed by the faith in love with his half-sister. his reign is marked by sharp shift towards faith of the seven. in 168 the faith pretty much fully wrest control from him (aerys' bastard nephew hugor via prince aemond siezes power and becomes high septon) and convince him to set up the 'faith protectorate' which makes him something like a constitutional monarch and puts the faith devout in control. his reign is marked by civil war. the north secedes in 161 AC, dorne is ruled by daeron i's sister daena who is masterminding rebellion, and the hightower declares war on the high septon and aerys which yes sounds insane but theres reasons. aerys ends up deposed by his son daeron. also the faith protectorate and aerys actually do a lot of pro-peasant stuff and removing power from nobles and thats a lot of the reason why they rebel.

184-204 reign of daeron ii. daeron is the third son of aerys and after an attempt to rescue his sisters from the maidenvault (yeah i had aerys make a maidenvault. aeyrs i baelor on steroids) got sent to a septry in the stormlands but his mother snuck him out and into dorne where daeron i's sister daena is wed to the prince of dorne. goes to war with his father and wins, forces him to abdicate. reign marked by fixing his father's mistakes and getting beat up by remnants of the protectorate loyalists. his wife gets merked and he gets domed but survives with some brain damage. his son baelor mercy kills him

204- reign of baelor the bloody. son of daeron who gets his epithet when aged 9 he kills some assassins/rebels when they attack the red keep. doing his reign and family now so its iffy, but he's married to rohanne martell the rosy dawn epic queen. cheats on her with a twink and she kills the twink. not sure on his death

im gonna keep the family tree going till 300AC when turbo-long night hits and everyone gets blowed up. anyway hope this helped lmfao im sure its VERY confusing 😭

[plssendbones]

does the kid from joyboy have a name? I love that song so muchohmygod. also I know you mentioned that your characters lore wasn't really that important but if possible can we at least get an idea of it? ^_^ I love your music so much btw/nf

Joyboy fella does not have a name yet- (only characters from my songs up to the quick brown fox have names)

I DO PLAN TO HOST ANOTHER LIVE STREAM WHERE WE NAME THEM HOWEVER!!! I wanna do that after I finish the next song I’m working wwwwwwww.

As for character lore there isn’t much but here’s a few random facts

- the doll from twister belong to a boy in a once family of five. The boy was the only survivor from the tornado and the lyrics from twister are basically him having survivors guilt.

- the guy from wiretap is in prison for tax fraud

- smile for them silly has a dad and a brother! Her brother hates both of them!!!

- cautionary girly met tsublinky when she was going to write a story about them but they ended up becoming friends and are now dating. (Charlie isn’t that good of a person but tsublinky tries to help her become one)

- I killed JFK girly is autistic and is the cousin of Joyboy the boy. They don’t talk to often, they have their own problems and are trying to get through them.

- The quick brown fox manly man is apart of a larger story but he has a friend named coral. (they look like this)

The whole song also takes place in Damian’s dreams (that one part where he was in bed was when he was awake)

- the woman from my proclivity is basically the mother figure of the group of tense and contempt people, despite some of them being older then her. She likes snakes and Law and Order.

- DUCK DUCK GIRLY, is an arsonist and former member of the marine core. She once was on a ship by herself, the boat didn’t survive.

- joyboy the boy is trans, he has his own problems and acts in a way beyond his control. He’s getting better tho

- Existential undead (the first) was based of the vocaloid Vivi, she was s singer with imposter syndrome.

- Existential undead girly (the good one) was friends with Vivi, they are no longer friends. She is a singer with imposter imposter syndrome.

THATS ALL FOR NOW.

[beardedmrbean]

Oh yeah the king family thing, it’s not like there was this big assassination of a very important person in Dallas who had the nickname Jack and it shook the world…who might have ended the Cold War sooner.

And his supposed killer was murdered before he was even questioned

And another character who filled his position wasn’t killed as well…

Okay allegedly it was the cia, but the FBI really think that the King family would buy their claim after wire tapping MLK own fucking home and sent that letter saying he should kill himself?

Oh and the Malcom x thing, I mean when you are a powerful figure that left an extremists group saying that white people was made in a lab by a bitter black guy. Not shocking who killed you

(Got a feeling the government payed NOI to do that hit?)

And Anna Frank thing, I presume her diary came out in the 50’s. Given that people had a panic about Pixar Turning Red the Asian female mc had LE GASP hormones(not to mention she tame af compare to the….less that ideal stuff I see women in fandom make) lords knows how many fathers and mothers would have heart attacks learn that their “innocent” daughters might be doing private if they read Anne Frank unedited diary

Fuck I sound like I’m on Epstein list

Oh yeah I heard about that academic paper, I mean leftist basically made the black version of birth of a nation with women king. And the majority of radfems goes uncheck and they have positions of power in institutions.

We only learn about the horrors the Nazis did, not the fact they had a “eat the rich” as the left don’t want to admit a lot of Jewish people that Hitler targeted was well off

Oh yeah the king family thing, it’s not like there was this big assassination of a very important person in Dallas who had the nickname Jack and it shook the world…who might have ended the Cold War sooner. And his supposed killer was murdered before he was even questioned

For some reason I read this like 3 times and each time even though I knew it's JFK you're talking about my brain added a "Ruby" to Jack, which I suppose works since jack ruby is the guy that killed lee harvey oswald.

The X-Files did a episode where they went into a lot of different stuff that CSM did, if you know the show at all.

"Musings of a cigarette smoking man" It's a really good one, actually works as standalone that you don't need to know anything about the show to enjoy.

Mallcolm X stuff is nuts, I don't think the feds bothered with him though, it's farrakhan all the way there. If there was a firm move towards improved race relations he might just lose his cash cow, it's not just politicians that profit from the status quo, look at any social movement out there who's original stated goal was achieved.

Title IX and the Civil Rights Act should have been the stop and then nothing else legislative needed, but nope that didn't happen.

1948 for the Diary, there was just a lot of sexual stuff, bisexual to be more specific I believe, talk of her period, things you would imagine a girl that age would be talking about really, like you said, but not in 1948 you don't get that published around the globe then.

I'm good with keeping the sanitized version the one used in schools too, at least till college maybe I don't know.

We only learn about the horrors the Nazis did, not the fact they had a “eat the rich” as the left don’t want to admit a lot of Jewish people that Hitler targeted was well off

You also aren't going to learn that there was quite a bit of socialism mixed into the nazi deal, collectivization, hitler youth indoctrination centers where you learn that your duty is to your fatherland and your fuhrer,

My dad sings in the chorus for the local symphony, guy in it was hitler youth, said it was like a summer camp, but he was part of a group that did tours and sung patriotic songs so he lucked out, also lucked out that his mom kept him home from that last trip.

But ya there's a lot of that they can't bring up today, because it looks too much like socialism (because it is) weren't before because socialism bad nazi bad was good enough, for the most part.

Should have done better on that sadly ______________

Sorry this took so long I was facetiming a friend I never really get to do much more than text with.

[hoodoo12]

Foul Play

If you haven’t heard of it:

“ Foul Play is a digital, immersive, improvised comedy murder mystery game from the minds of folks from Broadway, tabletop gaming (Dimension 20, Dungeons and Dragons), and comedy (Upright Citizens’ Brigade, The Phoenix). Think of it as “Clue,” but improv comedy, but “Sleep No More,” but digital. “

The one I bought a ticket for was "The True Real Life of Real Life People", a murder mystery set in a reality TV show. Alex Brightman was the "host" and many other actors including Rob McClure played characters who came back to the show for a "special reunion". Like a murder mystery party, no one had much time to prepare who they were playing and had to open cards to find out more information about themselves and the plot. Then they--and the audience--had to work to find out who killed the victim.

What I discovered it that with twelve different cameras + so many characters it is hard to solve the mystery of ‘who done it’, but it was silly fun to watch with lots of laugh out loud improv.

There’s a discord server where people can talk (mostly just repeating funny lines so no one missed them, lol) and solve the mystery. I personally gave random updates to another Beetlejuice fan who wasn’t watching it, so I’m sure it seemed super weird without context. That was part of the fun, so you get them too:

It is weird af and I don't really know what is happening, so I am just watching Alex and Rob

It is improv and as we know, Alex is really good at it 

His character is Jimmy F. Pop. Someone said, "Jimmy, fuck--" and he replied, "No one has used my middle name in so long! James Fuck Pop."

Now there is a zombie apocalypse, lol

ROB IS MAKING WEAPONS

He is going from room to room for weapons!

Now he had a sieve as a helmet and a garage can lid as body armor

Now Alex is laying in a bunkbed like he is in a coffin

Alex just said, "I am Jimmy Fuck Pop corn and I don't care"

His character has extreme daddy issues

HE IS SO SWEATY

He mistakenly called someone else Jimmy. That person called him out and he said he was recently diagnosed with narcissism

"We as men are a nightmare."

"She is a motherfucking zombie."

Now he is painting his nails for why?

NOW WHITE NAIL POLISH ON HIS FACE FOR WHY

Redneck uneducated Rob is trying to save everyone even though he "just heard his mom eat his dad over the phone."

NOW HE JUST DROPPED HIS CHARACTER AND SAID HIS REAL NAME IS ALEX BRIGHTMAN A CHARACTER HE'S BEEN DOING FOR YEARS AND IS NOW SAD HE CAN'T DO A MENAGE A TROIS

"Time for a makeup tutorial at the end of the world. Chose black. The color of anger. The color of lust. The color of ants. This will be our little secret: I killed JFK."

He just asked for a show of hands would like to eat Rob's ass

A DOUBLE CROSS?!!?!

IT'S ALL TWISTY

(I did not guess the killer correctly but that's okay. It was a fun way to watch improv weirdness on a Friday night)

[cutepastelstarsalior]

Cooke high live blog part 3 (final)

Episode 9

Joan house burn down :(

Abe for some reason wants to help solve conflicts??? That’s new.

Joan and Cleo having to share a room!!

Dr calling him, Mr b, and the robot dog family <3 their so husband coded. <3

Ghandi and jfk trying to peep on the girls…. :/

Joan don’t call Cleo a slut and whore that’s so mean, and you know, bad.

Is it just me or is this show getting more and more sexual?

THE HUSBANDS ARE FIGHTINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!

Is both cute and interesting to see Abe trying to act like his clone father. It makes me wonder if all the clone have some sort of internal struggle with trying to hold the expansion with the originals? I know Joan was wondering if she’s hear voices like her mother…

This post is getting to long

Episode 10

I think these episodes on Hulu are out of order…. Episode 9 was supposed to be before 8, and this one; 10 was supposed to be after 8….

……,Ponce is giving me bad vibes. Like, I think he’s going to kill himself vibes…

JFK getting defensive when Ponce tries to be emotional and talk about feeling. It’s neat to see how angry jfk gets, like on a psychological level…

Did this dude actually die from littler????? I’m mean technically he drowned in his own blood….Wait. That makes me wonder, when a clone dies, would the government just like, revive or recline the clone? Because the clone is of a famous person, I don’t think the government would be that willing to let the clones die..

Doc. Dude let the man grief/say goodbye to his son.

Something something jfk trying to sleep in the coffin with ponce…something something grief and love and poetry….

I forgot that ghandi was accidentally sent to jail…

JFK crying!!!! Him seeing the ghost of his dead best friends!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH nice. Nooooooo jfk wishing for his friend back 🥺🥺🥺

Awe cleo comforting jfk

Hmmm don’t know how to feel about the jail rape stereotypes…..😬

“He was white and privileged” wow. Never thought I’ll heard that from a show from 2003? Interesting.

Joan gives Abe a frohead kiss :) Abe gives a forehead kiss to jfk :)

Episode 11

Omg a Christmas episode :0

“It’s been a year since the United Nations abolished religious holidays in favor of the non-offensive all inclusive snowflake day” what……wait didnt one episode it showed ghandi reading a scroll?

Cartoon holiday are cool :)

Why is their winter clothes only scarfs???

Abe having to clean dishes…:mood. :/ why don’t their job have one of those big dishwashers?

Holy shit??????? Omg my gi why they have Abe eat glass???? Why did I find it funny???

Mr b lounging on a bear rug <3

Kind of what to see fanart of Abe with scars on his mouth…

:0 claymation!???!!!!

This world feels slightly dystopian. Cars greeting assistants? A holiday to get rid of the other holidays that was successful in a year???? Clones??? 👀

Joan thinks of her, her grandfather, Cleo, and Cleo’s mom as family :)

Interesting to see Abe with anger issues

DID JOAN PUT FUCKING RAZOR BLADES IN THE FOOD?????

God please tell me there art of Abe with scars.

Episode 12

HELEN OF TROY???????? Greek mythology/greek gods are real??

The random gore is sometimes so jarring….

Makeover time whooo!! :)

Marie having a crush on ghandi is cute

Whoo jfk helping ghandi!!

Forgot to mention this, but the background colors for this show is cool. They usually solid colors a lot, and it’s mostly either cold colors; blue, purple, green; or warm colors of red, yellow, pink, and orange too. It’s cool :)

I didn’t know. I didn’t know you didn’t have a mom. Iconic.

Why is abe and Cleo in a gradient void?

Interesting to see Abe being confused on his feeling for Joan or Cleo. It does feel a bit random tho…

Episode 13

Last episode babyyyyy!!!!! Oh thank god. These post is so long…

Did…did Abe get a different foster dad? I swear he looks different…

👀 oh hey it’s all the pass side characters/antagonists!!! Cool

Joan and jfk having an emotional but random talk is neat.

Doc stabbing the actor in the eye….then wore the bloody very Carrie of him. (I never seen Carrie)

Did ghandi make out with 10 guys?????

Pounce’s ghost with Jesus????

Conga line will save the day

Stamos and the doc were total exs…..

:0 gasp Joan and jfk made out

Wow. That how it ends. Everyone frozen in the meat locker.

Hmmmm. I can see why this show was popular, but I can also see why it faded out of people’s memories. It’s a 13 episode show from 2003, there not a lot to talk about.

The show is decent. You have to get over the black humor/racist jokes, lots of sex stuff, and random gore, but AFTER those, it’s pretty ok? I think the only people that had like, character development was Abe and maybe Joan?

Season 1

4/10.

[phantoms-lair]

ReDMC 4 snippet (Ashley finds out)

Leon breathed a sigh of relief as the last Ganados fell, then went about the annoying task of pulling the axes, machetes and pitchfork from his body. Sure he could have dodged them, but any weapon embeded in him was one that couldn't harm - he heard the click of a gun. Ashley.

Ashley stood on a corner of the room, pointing his own gun at him with trembling hands. "You're one of them." She accused.

"Rude." said Leon, putting his hands up. At this point he knew didn't have much to fear from conventional gunfire, but his gun had been modified for demon. But it was his own fault. He'd gotten used to working with people in the know and forgot how disturbing watching him fight would be to an ordinary girl. "I am one hundred percent parasite free, I'll have you know."

"Then what are you?" Her voice was still shaking, as was her arms, which compounded her own atrocious trigger discipline. He couldn't blame her though. She must have been so scared when her rescuer turned out to be another monster. And truthfully he didn't think telling her he was a demon would make her feel any better. Time for a half truth. "I'm what you get when super soldiers have kids."

"Super soldiers?" Lovely bit of sarcasm in her voice.

"My Grandfather." Leon continued, gracefully dropping to a crosslegged sitting position on the floor to look less threatening. He'd had lots of practice trying to be none threatening. "Created by this psycho named Mundus to basically conquer the world for him. Except Gramps said nuts to that, wiped out Mundus's army and got Mundus locked up for life. Met my Grandmother, and had a couple of bouncing baby boys who were capable of doing things grown men shouldn't be capable of, much less children. Grandma must have been a saint." He wished he'd had a chance to meet her, even if she wasn't his actual grandmother, Dante had made her sound like a amazing woman.

"Sadly, Mundus being locked up, not dead, came back to bite the happy young family as he sent an assassin to murder Grampa. Now Grampa was pretty much invincible in a straight fight, but against an assassin sent by the person who knew all his weaknesses? Grampa died and Grandma tried to run with the boys but the assassin eventually caught up with her too."

"Neither of the brothers were in a great place after that. Dad became a mercenary. My uncle got taken in by a bastard promising revenge and got himself killed. Dad went into a depressive funk at losing his last living relative and went on a blackout drinking bender that, nine months later, produced a new relative. Me."

They were out of history of the 'Redgrave' Family and into the carefully crafted story he and Dante had come up with. "When she found out she was pregnant, the woman went back to the bar, but Dad had only been passing through and the bartender didn't know where to find him. After birth she decided nine months with me was enough and put me up for adoption. A while later Dad passed through town again and heard he had a kid. He tracked her down, she wrung him out. But as she didn't want anything to do with me, she couldn't tell him where I was."

"Dad eventually tracked me down and saw I had been happily adopted by a nice normal family that didn't have to worry about assassins or the type of enemies mercenaries make and decided maybe I was better off without him. At least until my first day at work, which was the last day of Raccoon City's existence."

"You were there." Ashley's voice was small. She must have been a child at the time, but the destruction of Raccoon was a major thing. Kid of like what his adopted parents said the JFK assassination was like for them.

"Yeah, and it's where I had to face that I wasn't normal. I was always a little stronger, a little faster, healed up quicker. But there, with my life on the line? Normal and I parted ways permanently. It terrified me, but it let me pull more survivors out that I could have otherwise." Ada, Ben, Sherry, Claire. Without the strength of his demon side who knew if he or any of them would have survived. "Dad met me afterwards. It was like looking into the future and seeing myself in twenty years, the resemblance was that strong. But I have answers. And you do too. So can we continue this rescue, or are you going to try and kill me with my own gun?" Ashley still looked hesitant. "You could have gotten this gun from me at any time, couldn't you?" "Probably." Leon admitted. "But I don't like.. acting against other humans." Ashley raised an eyebrow. "I'm 3/4th human, That still counts." "And how human are those?" She gestured to the Ganados he's killed.

"Zero. They're the corpses of humans being manipulated by a demonic parasite." "Demonic?" "Don't tell me it doesn't fit." Honestly, like with Hunnigan, he'd rather anyone else give the 'surprise demons are real' spiel. He was trying to convince them he wasn't going to turn on them, let someone else bare that bad news. "The point it, by the time the parasite matures, the host is already dead." "And if I was infected, would you kill me?" "If you were infected with the egg or larval stage I'd move Earth and Hell to save you. As an adult- is that really what you want?" He gestured to the dead ganados, many of them with the parasite tentacled form slumped where the person's head used to be. "Is that what you really want to be your final disposition to be? Remember at that stage you're already dead and it's just the Plaga using you as a skin suit."

"I don't want any of this." Ashley screamed.

"Neither did I," said Leon quietly.

[crazy56u]

Tonight should be fun; not only can I actually see the episode live for the first time in weeks, but it’s a time loop episode, so my friend already hates it on principle!

Welcome to the Hellivator: 1962 Edition.

"Yeah, everything looks good, no explosions today."

Gotta give Ben props, though, he knew on sight he had to salute.

Why are you berating the janitor, Robert Picardo?

"You are now in our state of the art control room, if you needed proof this is 1962."

"Today isn't about me, Melanie." Robert Picardo set up the bomb, calling it.

Buttons and do-dads caused Chernobyl, Picardo.

Being in 1962 at ground zero of Not Chernobyl = Quantum Leap

JFK had a busy life in Quantum Leap. He gave his moon speech the day the experimental reactor exploded, he ended the Cuban Missile Crisis the same day a kid almost shot his neighbor during a blackout, and Sam almost shot him in Dallas.

"Gotta split", the rough draft for Jimmy Neutron's existence.

Robert Picardo has shitty luck: He dies the same day the reactor explodes.

Flying cars by 2000, good fucking luck.

I love how slowly they're realizing all those deaths were a cover-up.

Time to nuke this shit.

"Why is the coolant draining?" Why did the government cover up all your deaths? Think.

And show's over, roll credits!

"Why is Ben flatlining?" Why did the reactor explode? Think.

Addison, calm down, the episode just started, Ben ain't dead yet.

Take 2! Ben, you're the Glasses Man now.

"Eugene, you feeling okay?" "I just got exploded?!" "... ... ...kay."

"What kind of 'Groundhog Day' is this?" The kind involving nukes, keep up.

"Obviously, we are dealing with a time loop. Ben just said that."

I love how Ian immediately realizes what's going on after one recursion.

Welcome to the reactor, it's still blue.

"When this nuclear reactor reaches activation, you're gonna see some serious shit!"

"We think you're in a time loop." "That's impossible. I mean, I know I just said I'm in one, but, you know, fuck you!"

Magic just flat out summarizing the plot of the episode in case you didn't get it from the promo.

So, of course Janis is still being held prisoner.

Look, Janis, two birds, one stone: You fix the time loop, you tell Ben to trust no one. Everyone wins!

"Okay, how do I save everyone's lives this time as Eugene... Run in screaming like I detected a fire at a movie theater, got it!"

"Look, if I don't have a pen, we all die!"

"Look, I know Kennedy does a speech, do not fuck with me, we don't have the time!"

Ben, you are acting super fucking suspicious.

"I pulled everything I could on time loops. You ever hear of 'Source Code'?"

I am just waiting for the episode where Ben does a leap, and afterwards, time has been altered, and Janis has just been part of the Project from the start, and no one else notices.

"Hey, Ben, I found the bomb!"

"Okay, Ben, disarm the bomb!" "I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT!"

"That's it?!" Ben, there's 44 minutes left.

There's death #2!

Take 3! Melanie, get banished into the Mirror Dimension!

Addison is about to murder Janis in cold blood.

Translation: This situation is so rare, they couldn't do it in OG Quantum Leap.

"Where was Ziggy two explosions ago?" "Jen, shut the fuck up about Ziggy, she's still trying to remember how to talk."

Ben, don't talk to ghosts in the elevator.

I still think Robert Picardo planted the bomb. I mean, one in five chance, I got good odds.

"Our facility is the safest! It won't ever explode more than five times!"

"You're not passionate about clean energy?" "It's 1962, what the fuck do you think?"

Eugene looks and sounds like he killed someone in Reno just to see them die.

Okay, so, theory: What if the person who planted the bomb wasn't on the elevator? There was a secret sixth person who got off after everyone else got on?

Okay, if this place is a front and Robert Picardo is a transparent holographic piece of shit, then yep, he did it. Watch me be wrong!

"There you are! How'd Ben explode the third time?"

"I'm glad Ben didn't die... but why does it feel like he did?" ...you answered your own question.

It would be awesome if somehow, during this heart-to-heart, Ben died five more times.

Ernie Hudson really wants Scott Bakula to come back to the show, and you can take that to the bank.

Take 4! Robert Picardo's taking a piss break, Ben, get in there!

"Look, I know you hate me, we need to speed through this, there's a 60% chance I didn't actually plant the bomb, we got NO TIME!"

Controversial Opinion: Coffee is poison no matter what you do to it.

"Look, I should be the one playing Addison! ME!"

Watch as Janis just fucks them over anyway.

"Ziggy doesn't think Ben can leap into the same person twice." Ziggy forgot Jimmy LaMotta exists.

Ben, why the fuck were you openly talking to her in the middle of the room?

Take 5! Janitor Time!

"Control, the janitor's acting suspicious."

And there goes Robert Picardo's lower back.

"Welcome to Quantum Leap, what you thought was Groundhog's Day was actually Rashomon, get fucked."

I love how Addison is now just openly pointing out the plot holes.

Also, Ben loved "Rashomon" more than Addison. Fact.

"How dare you talk about blowing up a nuclear reactor to a ghost!"

"Look, maybe if we just shut this down, we're fucked, pack it up and go home."

...so, Ben should've just opened that letter on the first go around.

"Kill the project or I will. Hugs and kisses, You Know Who."

"What's going on?" "Saving the fucking day!"

...I'm actually kind of sad Eugene was the bad guy. I was joking with that Reno comment.

"You're smarter than you look. I said it once, I'll say it again."

...so, because they were gonna take the Project away, Robert Picardo decided to sell out. Baby.

"Loo, I hate nuclear weapons, just let me blow us all up!"

...so, Ben accidentally caused the nuke in one go around, hot damn...

"Look, you think blowing up a nuclear reactor will change shit?! I'm from the future, bitch! LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT CHERNOBYL!"

Okay, to be fair, he aimed for the shoulder, that's what we in the business call an insurance policy.

"I will miss this song." Just Spotify it.

...Ben, don't compare yourself to Eugene. He wanted to cause Chernobyl, you want to save Addison's life. Calm down.

And cue Janis causing shit indirectly!

I'm calling it now: This technically proves my theory correct. Ben is gonna leap into Magic, and get Janis onto the Project.

"Look, I just wanna be friends, so here's a plot point- (EPISODE ENDS)"

[Next Week: Ben leaps into 2012, and has to do a Very Special Episode.]

Seriously, I think they just set up the plot of the season finale with Magic's talk with Jen...

[Also, this post is late because my internet conked out without me knowing.]

[bigavidmostallsportsfansaftyco]

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[coopercythedog]

I have a dream A song to sing To help me cope With anything If you see the wonder Of a fairy tale You can take the future Even if you fail. Sam Carmichael. Bill Anderson. Harry Bright. Gentlemen, I have to go. Thank you very much. Take care. Morning, Rodney. Taxi! JFK, please, as quick as you can. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I missed you. Oh, no... We're... - We're... ALL: Sophie, Ali, Lisa! We're the greatest, bestest mates! I'm tough. - I'm tall. I'm tiny. - ALL: And we're gonna rock this place. Sophie, it's beautiful. - I want one. He did well, didn't he? I'm getting married tomorrow. I'm so glad you're here, because I have a secret and I can't tell anybody else. Sophie, you're knocked up? - No! No! No! I've invited my dad to my wedding. You are joking! You found him at last? - No! No, no, no, no, no, not exactly. Okay. You know what my mom always said when I asked about my father. It was a summer romance, and he'd gone long before she realised that she was expecting me. And I'd always kind of accepted that that's all I'd ever know. Well, I was ransacking some old trunks and I found this. It's the diary she kept the year she was pregnant with me.

Sophie! 'July 17th. What a night!' I don't know if I want to hear this! - I do! 'Sam rowed me over to the little island.' That's here. That's Kalokairi. 'We danced on the beach, and we kissed on the beach, 'and dot, dot, dot.' What? 'Dot, dot, dot.' That's what they did in the olden days. Stop it! 'Sam's the one. I know he is. 'I've never felt like this before.' Honey, honey How he thrills me Honey, honey Honey, honey Nearly kills me Honey, honey I've heard about him before I wanted to know some more And now I know what they mean He's a love machine Oh, he makes me dizzy Honey, honey Let me feel it Honey, honey Honey, honey Don't conceal it Honey, honey The way that you kiss good night The way that you kiss me good night The way that you hold me tight The way that you're holding me tight I feel like I wanna sing When you do your thing So this guy Sam's your father! - The plot thickens. 'All this time, Sam's been telling me he loves me, 'and now he's announced that he's engaged, 'so he's gone home to get married, 'and I'm never going to see him again.' Poor Donna. 'August 4th. What a night! 'Bill rented a motorboat, and I took him over to the little island.' Bill? Sophie, wait. - Hang on. 'Though I'm still obsessed with Sam, 'Bill's so wild. He's such a funny guy. 'One thing led to another, 'and dot, dot, dot.' 'August 11th. Harry turned up, out of the blue, 'so I said I'd show him the island. 'He's so sweet and understanding, I couldn't help it and 'dot, dot, dot!' - Dot, dot, dot! Oh, my God! - Here come the bridesmaids. Donna! Look at you! God! Stop growing! You sound like you're having fun already. - Oh, we are. I used to have fun. Oh, we know! Honey, honey Touch me, baby Honey, honey

I'd heard about you before I wanted to know some more And now I'm about to see What you mean to me I'm trying to get to Kalokairi. When's the next ferry? What? - Monday. Bollocks! - Yeah, my sentiments exactly. Bride or groom? Bride, although I've actually never met her. BILL: Ahoy, there. You guys need a ride to Kalokairi? Excuse me, coming through. I have a senior citizen with me. Thank you. My mother needs a perch. Mother? We're the same age. Yeah. Well, parts of us are. Sailor. No. TANYA: Oh, he has your book! Oh... Stavros, Stavros. Stavros. It's just a fish. You are so clever. We're going to look fabulous tomorrow. I want the perfect wedding, and I want my father to give me away. Better be a wide aisle. I will know my father as soon as I see him. Sky! Come here, gorgeous. SKY: Put me down. I'm getting married tomorrow. Please be careful. So? There are pins in the dresses. What do you think? Oh, yes! 'Oh, yes.' If you had your way, it'd be a three-minute wedding in jeans and T-shirts, washed down with a bottle of beer. You make me sound so unromantic! I just thought we should save our money for travelling. Well, we're not going anywhere yet. Anyway, please leave. We're very, very busy. I'm just getting some props for tonight. LISA AND ALI: Ooh! For his bachelor party. Why haven't you told him you've invited your dads? Because he would say that I'd have to tell my mom. Donna's absolutely gonna kill you when she finds out. By the time she finds out, it'll be too late. I feel like there's a part of me missing, and when I meet my dad, everything will fall into place.

BILL: More open! HARRY: I'm on it. I'm on it. That's good. That's it. Come on, Cleopatra. My shoe! Will you look at what the tide washed in? For one night. - And one night only. Donna and the Dynamos! - Donna and the Dynamos! Look at you! You baby! - Look at you! You look fantastic! You look like an old hippie! She looks fab. These are new, though. Where did you get these? Husband number three! Dynamos! Dynamite! - Dynamos! Dynamite! ALL: Sleep all day and... All night! TANYA: So, any men at this wedding? Gorgeous Greeks of independent means? Here we go! Husband number four! No! Not for me, for her! - He's coming! For her, now that her book is a bestseller, and she's got the whole world stuffing, what, mushrooms? Various vegetables? It's time to find Mr Right! Oh, please. Boring! Great couple of role models you two are for Sophie! A serial bride and a little hermit over here! That's me! I'm a lone wolf! So, when are the lovebirds flying the nest? Oh, God! Who knows? You know, I do not know what is going on in that child's head sometimes. She wants a big white wedding, and she and Sky are making all kinds of plans for the hotel. Sometimes I think they'll never leave. Yeah, but do you really want her to? Well, I want what's best for her. Of course not! Sky! Come meet my backup girls. Backup girls, my ass! TANYA: Backup girls, my ass! He's the leading man at tomorrow's shindig. SKY: The lucky man. - Hello. You must be Rosie. - I am. How are you? - Very well. And you must be Tanya. I've heard so much about you. - All bad, I hope. Yes. - And all true. Donna... Here, let me get them. I know who you are. You're Bill Anderson, aren't you? Bloke in a Boat in Botswana. - Yes, I am. You know, your books are a godsend on dull business trips. Now, I may look like I'm pondering my securities, but in reality, I'm trekking across some remote corner of the planet. You should try it for real sometime. No, certainly, I'll never be the spontaneous adventurer. You're a close friend of Donna's? No, I haven't heard from her for 20 years. SAM: Really? - And then this invite, out of the blue. You know, that's a coincidence, neither had I. Going about! - You got it! Right. Wait... I've got it. Fine. Fine. You should have brought the iron lung. Why did I wear stilettos?

Auntie Rosie! - Hey, hey! Look at Sophie. She's gotten so beautiful! - I know. Come here to me. Sophie Sheridan, you get more gorgeous every time I see you. You do. I bet you don't remember me. - Not with all that plastic surgery. Of course I do, Auntie Tanya. You haven't changed at all. I'm so happy for you. - Look at my baby, her whole life ahead of her. Oh, please, I'm getting married. I'm not joining a convent! She's feisty. I love that. - Yeah. She's a chip off the old block. If she were more like me, she wouldn't be getting married at 20. Or married at all. I meant to get the laundry down before you came. Tanya's going home! And you'd think with all this new technology, they would figure out a machine that would make the beds. And if they did, you'd be going along behind it, making them again. I know you, Mom. But I am good at modern... Tell them about the Internets. He's gonna put me on the line. - Online. SKY: I'm designing a website. I just think this place has so much potential, and no one knows we're here. So, if I market it really, really well, then, hopefully, people will come flooding in. We just want this to be the ultimate romantic destination. This was once supposed to be the site of Aphrodite's fountain, you know, the goddess of love. And if you drank the water, you were supposed to find true love and perfect happiness. I'll have a glass of that. - Yeah, I'll have a bucket. TANYA: Aphrodite's spa? Well, I thought you didn't want boatloads of tourists. Oh, no, not boatloads, no. But, you know, a few more would be nice. Okay, now, the thing about the toilet, if it doesn't flush right away, just go and come back in a while, and it should... Nothing works around here, except for me. I've been running this hotel for 15 years, and I have never had a day off. Oh, my God! Sorry. I work all night I work all day To pay the bills I have to pay

Do you feel it? The earth moved, darling. We're falling apart here. Don't think about it, come on. Let's go have fun. Tanya's packed for a world tour. Oh, Donna. Donna! Does she wear it or floss with it? TANYA: Floss you. Is it edible, Tanya? Listen to this. 'The world's most luxurious moisturiser 'contains flakes of 24-carat gold 'and extracts of donkey testicle.' You're just jealous. At a thousand dollars a dollop. Tell you, that's the price you have to pay if you wanna drink before 11:in the morning. And we do. - We do. Hi. May I help you? Sure, we're here for the wedding. I'm Bill Anderson. - Huh? I'm Bright, Harry Bright. Sam Carmichael. You are expecting us? Oh, my God. Yes! You're not Donna's daughter? I thought you looked familiar. Sofia. It's Sophie. - Well, Sofia is the Greek. Well, I'm named after a Sofia. I used to have a great-aunt living on the mainland named Sofia. Would you mind if we see our rooms before we see your mother? Sure. It's just that I'd quite like to freshen up... before the big reunion. No! No! I mean, yes, but come this way. Come on! Oh, my God! I got a crack in my courtyard. I gotta go fix it. Hey, listen, Donna? Donna. - I'm serious. Move. Sit down! She won't let me go! - I know... I know you're going to make a fortune with web's... 'With web's...' - With Sky's site. I know you're gonna make a fortune with Sky's website, but... - It's good. Are you gonna be okay until then? I think Tanya is offering to pawn her bling.

No, seriously, Donna... - Oh, my God. Do you need a loan? - No, sweet. Oh, God, I'm just whining, you know me. I don't need to be taken care of. Yeah, but are you being taken care of? What do you mean? - Are you getting any? Oh, you mean... Down, boy, down, boy. No, it takes too much energy. Yeah. Just more plumbing to be maintained, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, God, I'm so glad that whole part of my life is over. You know, seriously. I do not miss it at all. Then it's just right here. Good. Where's Donna? Hey! Okay. Up you go. Hmm. You know, I don't want to seem ungrateful for the scenic tour, but might I be shown my room now? Well, don't hold your breath, Harry, but I think this is your room. Can we see Donna now? I sent the invites. My mom doesn't know anything. Well, she's done so much for me, and she's always talking about you guys and the good old days, and I thought, what an amazing surprise for her that you are all gonna be at my wedding. Hang on, Sophie. I can't be here. The last time I saw your mother, she said she never wanted to see me again. That was years ago. Please, it would mean a lot to me. Listen, I can see that you've been to a great deal of trouble. Might I suggest that we all reconvene on your boat? Good idea. - Nope. Why? - It's an adventure, Harry. It's good for you. - Oh, I see. Okay, when I sent the invites, it was a long shot that you'd even reply. And now you've come all this way for a wedding. Surely there must have been some special reason for you to be here. Like some siren call, maybe? You're a little minx, you know that? You're just like your mother. I'm glad my boys haven't met you. They'd never recover. You have sons? - Yes, two. And someday, I'd like to bring them here.

no, no, no, no, no. Listen, listen, she can't know. I'm going to go. Please stay. Promise me that you'll not tell anybody that I invited you. Okay? Promise? You got it, baby. - It's a promise. I might regret it, but okay. - Okay. There wouldn't, by any chance, happen to be a trouser press on the island, would there? Harry? Bill? I was cheated by you And I think you know when So I made up my mind It must come to an end Look at me now Will I ever learn? I don't know how But I suddenly lose control There's a fire within my soul Just one look and I can hear a bell ring One more look and I forget everything Mamma mia Here I go again My, my How can I resist you? Mamma mia Does it show again? My, my Just how much I've missed you Yes, I've been broken-hearted Blue since the day we parted Why, why did I ever let you go? Mamma mia Now I really know My, my I should not have let you go

Thanks for the mamma Mia script

[jellytoru]

Wonderland ( The Umbrella Academy)

(Five Hargreeves x Reader)

Masterlist

Chapter 6: " it's just... It's a lot to take in "

~☂~

" Hey, Five, Five! " an annoying voice called out to the male, who was writing on his bedroom wall beside his door.

" What? What? " he mimics

" I remember the thing that I forgot earlier! "

" Oh luckily your brain started to work properly again " he replied then spares her a quick gaze before looking back at his equation on his wall.

" Okay that was rude and my brain works perfectly fine you dipshit " the female gawped

" Alright, if your brain works perfectly fine just like you said, solve this " Five suggested as he offered his equation to be finished at the female, " I'll gladly buy you whatever you want at Griddy's tonight "

" Yeah right " Y/n sarcastically replied

" I'm waiting " Five added, Y/n got half of her upper body up and turned to look at the equation on the wall then looked at the Boy.

" Nope, I rest my case because I know that I won't be able to answer that shit " Y/n answered before plopping down on the mattresses.

Five chuckles at her before turning back at the equation that he was solving, " Continue " he urges the female

" What? "

" Continue, you have a story to tell me right? "

" Oh... So yeah, this is one of the series that I often tell you and this time I was in the '60s! 60's the vintage fashion! And JFK. Diego would kill me if he hears this " Y/n exclaims before laughing. 

Five hummed as he spare her a gaze, he smiled before turning back at the equation.

" And there were some good couple that invited me into their house and offered me salad- Oh! How I regret-- well not technically really regret. I already have doubts about the salad but since the couple was good I discarded my doubts and shove it inside my mouth " Y/n explained and visibly shuddered as she still somehow can taste the awful food inside her mouth.

" That just proves to me that you're gluttony " Five commented, Y/n rolled to her front, now resting on the mattresses and glared at Five as he solves.

" Asshole "

" What did you eat? "

" Ambrosia "

Five frowns, he knew that Ambrosia is a dessert and had a couple of handful of ingredients and it's not that awful.

"- Don't get me wrong, It's good but the sour cream doesn't sit on me right and the way it just plops onto the bowl- augh just doesn't sit right I tell you and if one day I have some of those or someone offers that to me, I'm gonna shove a spoonful of that inside your prideful and smart ass mouth of yours "

Five chuckles, " Thanks for the compliment " and then took a step back, admiring his work.

"It's not even a compliment, asshole " Y/n replied as she also look at the Boy's work, " Done? "

Five turned at her and nodded his head, " All I have to do is ask Dad if I could time-travel " 

Y/n sits up from the bed and sets her teddy bear on her lap, she suddenly felt a shiver run down her spine, " He wouldn't allow it " she replied

" Oh yeah? Elaborate it, shortcake "

" He wouldn't allow it- He always did, remember? And even if you told him that you practice your spatial jumps, do you think it's enough for him to allow you to time-travel that easily? "

Five scoffed, " This time he will allow me! I have a plan "

" And I am already starting to get terrified of it "

Five walked towards the female and took a sit in front of her, placing his hands on hers, " I'm sorry but I need to prove to him that I'm capable of time-travel-  to use my ability to its full power " he explained as he rubs circles on her hand in a comforting manner, " Someone has to prove it to him that we're capable of using our ability to its fullest intent "

Y/n lets out a big sigh and locked her eyes to the ocean blue hues in front of her, they held sincerity and warmth that he only shows to her, " Think about it, Five, How many times did he reject you with that idea? Don't you think he would not reject you this time? "

The Boy breaks the eye contact by looking down, Y/n placed her hand on his cheek and carefully turned it to her, " I know you're getting annoyed at me always rebutting your choices but I'm just worried about you. We don't know if it would work "

The Boy nozzle his face at the female's palm, " We won't know unless we try, shortcake " he replied, " That's why I'm gonna prove him today "

Y/n removed her hand from Five's cheek and placed it behind her neck, " Just promise me you'll be safe and come back. I and little number Five would be sad if you don't " she claimed then showed her necklace at him.

Y/n moved closer to the Boy and leaned while hovering over the necklace, "What? " he breathed out, confused as to why she was giving him her rose gold necklace that has a circular shaped plate under the oval deep red jewel pendant that was given to her by her real mother after she got adopted by their father.

" Why? It's yours why did you give it to me? " Five added as he looked at the necklace.

" That way you have a reminder of home, and you'll remember me and the promise that you'll be safe and come back " Number Eight beamed as she clasped the necklace and then leaned away from him, " Wow it suits you more than I do "

"Y/n "

" Sheesh! I'm just stating the fact, Red kinda suites you "

" But setting that aside, are you sure that you're giving this to me? what if I lost it? This thing is precious to you, your birth mother gave it to you "

" No, you won't lose it because you'll take good care of it " and then held her pinky at the Boy, " Promise me you'll come home "

" How many times do you have to say 'come home? " Five queried before holding up his pinky, a teasing smile was on his lips.

The female rolled her eyes playfully, " As many as I could just to hear you say ' I Promise' "

The two teens shared a laugh before linking their pinkies together. Five looked at her with utmost sincerity and warmth as he pulled her closer to him.

" I promise, with all of my heart I'll come back to you " he whispered before they kissed both of their pinkies to seal their promises to each other. 

 Both smiled and laughed but deep down there's a lingering fear crawling for the worst is yet to come. A distant ring was heard making the two teens look at the door, Y/n placed the bear on the male's pillow as Five was already on his feet, and a hand outstretched for her to reach.

" Lunch is ready " Y/n beamed as she placed her hand on Five's outstretched hand to get herself up from the bed. 

~~~~

8 wonderful children walked down the stairs, Y/n's arms were looped on both her sisters- Vanya and Allison's arms while talking about something and comments that came from Y/n made her two sisters let out a laugh.

" Hey, what are you three laughing about? Mind sharing some tea, dear sisters? " a raspy playful voice and arms were wrapped around the shortest sister's neck.

" Klaus! " Y/n exclaimed

Both Allison and Vanya shakes their head, " It's nothing/ It's just girl talk " they both replied

" It's nothing but you three are laughing " Klaus pouted, as he squeeze his little sister.

" Argh-Bugger off, Klaus!! " Y/n shrieked then removed her arms from both of her sisters' and grabbed Klaus's arm and pried it off her, " Are you trying to kill me!? "

" No, Five would kill me if I accidentally kill you "the Séance replied

" Yeah, he will actually " Allison butt in as Vanya nodded her head.

" See!! How could I kill you if Five is already at my throat!? " Klaus blurted as dramatically does a pose, making the three sisters let out a chuckle, " All I'm trying to is stop hanging out with Five all the time " 

" Yeah, but don't stick too much to Klaus, you might get too high like him " a voice joined in and the four siblings turned their attention to the stairs and saw their 6th brother- Ben sneering, holding a book in his hand.

" Hey! Benerino! That's a secret! " Klaus playfully hissed at their brother.

" It's not a secret when everyone knows it " a mocking voice stated, Y/n then felt arms being wrapped around her waist and a chin rested on her shoulder, " Why stick to Klaus? If you can stick with me without being high? You can be smart if you stick with me, right shortcake? " he added as he smirked

" You didn't just indirectly told me that I'm stupid "

" Well you can't solve the equation that I asked you to solve so, yeah "

" You fucking asshole! "

The two bicker as their siblings watched them.

" Why is that Five being too possessive with Eight and proudly shows it off? " Klaus commented as he watch the two still bickerings, both Allison and Vanya just shrugged their shoulders with a smile on their faces while Ben chuckles.

" Maybe it's just his thing "

" Well, it isn't another episode of Number Eight and Five being lovey-dovey " Diego commented as he smirked at his siblings while stepping down the stair.

" Give me a break " Luther playfully chuckles as he stepped on the last steps of the stairs.

Y/n turned her head at Luther, " Aww jealous that Five and I can do this while you and Ally can't? Man up, Spaceboy! " she teased

" Y/n! " Allison beamed as both her cheeks and Luther's turned red.

Grace who was at the back gave them an amused and gentle smile as she watches them happily interacting with one another, the children didn't need to be told twice as they all started to head to the dining table and got to their designated seats and stood up behind it, as they waited for their father's arrival.

Seconds later, Sir Reginald Hargreeves clad in his suit and tie, stood behind his sit then pushed it back as he look at his children before ordering them to sit down on their seats.

" A screen anchor must be used if the rope is to be successfully retrieved "

The children started to eat, each of them was either sneaking glazes at each other like what Luther and Allison were doing, carving at their armrest like Diego was doing, or unbuttoning something like Klaus and Ben were reading his book while eating, the only normal ones were both Vanya and Y/n who was eating, though Y/n was having shivers run down her spine and occasionally twitched that Vanya took notice.

Y/n kept stealing gazes at the Boy who was getting impatient in trying to grab their father's attention, his eyes narrow as he clenched his fist. Y/n turned her attention to their father who hoist his cup to his mouth to drink, he observes his children and then locked eyes with Y/n who immediately looked down at her food and resumed eating.

Vanya also noticed Five was getting impatient and throws him a worried look before resuming to eat.

When Five had enough, he grabbed his knife and stabs it at the table, the action made everyone jump on their seats as the dinner plates and utensils clang loudly on the table, all siblings, Grace and Reginald turned at the Boy, surprised and some were shocked.

" Number Five? " Reginald called out his son

The said male let go of his knife and interlocked his hands together then throw their father a glare, " I have a question "

" Knowledge is an admirable goal, but you know the rules. No talking during mealtimes " Monocle man stated, " You are interrupting Herr Carlson "

Y/n began to nip her lips with her teeth then caught Vanya's question gaze at her, she just shrugged her shoulders at her and then look back at her food.

Five let out a low growl in anger then pushed his plate, earning another loud clattered noise then gains their father's attention once more, " I want to time-travel " he snarled

" No "

" But I'm ready. I've been practising my spatial jumps, just like you said " He argue then pushed his chair back and spatial jumped beside his father, " See? "

" A spatial jump is trivial when compared with the unknowns of time travel. One is like sliding along the ice, the other is akin to descending blindly into the depths of the freezing water and reappearing as an acorn " Reginald firmly explained then taking a sip on his cup.

Number Eight looked up from her plate and watch as Five and their Father interact.

" Well, I don't get it " Five hissed

" Hence the reason you're not ready "

Five looked at his siblings and caught Vanya's gaze as she shakes her head at him, quietly telling him to stop already. Five tears his attention at Vanya and turned his attention to Y/n before returning his attention to their father.

" I'm not afraid "

" Fear isn't the issue. The effects it might have on your body, evenyour mind, are far too unpredictable " Reginald explained as he angrily cutshis lunch and then demanded his son to stop, " Now, I forbid you to talk about this anymore "

Five scoffed before casting one last look at Y/n then turned his heel walking out of the dining table.

" Number Five! You haven't been excused! " Reginald called out but the Boy still stormed off, Reginald got no choice but to set down his utensils on the table and turned to Number Eight, " Number Eight! Use your temporal to stop Number Five! " he ordered to the female.

Y/n averted her eyes from their father as she tried to resume finishing her lunch. She knows that when using her temporal ability it is useless since Five is immune from the ability as they have similar abilities the only difference is that she could stop time while Five can travel through time.

" Don't make me repeat it once again, Number Eight! Use your ability to stop him! " The Monocle man repeated once more as his patience is running low since one of his sons disobeyed and stormed off and ruined their 'peaceful' lunch.

" Come on, Y/n, follow what Dad says " Luther urges the female.

Y/n sent a harsh glare at Number One, " Why don't you do it, Number One! " she snarled before taking a bite from her lunch.

Luther took a gaze at their father before looking back at his sister, " Because you're the only one who had that power! " he replied, " So follow what Dad told you or I'm making Allison rumour you "

Y/n look up from her lunch and glared at Luther, she let go of her utensils that let out a loud clang on the table.

" Number One is right, Number Eight, if you would not cooperate into this I would order Number Three to rumour you- "

" It wouldn't work " Y/n mutter

Reginald raised his brow at her, " Speak up child! I wouldn't hear you if you mutter it to yourself! "

The female let out a big sigh and turned to their Father, " It won't work! Five and I shared similar abilities! You should have known that since you train us! I'm going to tell you this again! We shared similar abilities- his immune to my temporal! " She shouted then slammed her hands on the table as she push her chair behind, standing up from the table before storming off the dining room.

" Number Eight! You haven't been excused! " Reginald ordered harshly

" FUCK OFF! " the female yelled back earning a surprised expression from the others who were left behind in the dining room. Never in their life, they have seen nor heard their sister openly swear like that- more shocking since she's the first one to swear at their father.

Meanwhile, Number Five successfully jumps through time and lands on a wrecked future, ruined building, and fire in every corner of the town, without a single living, being around. He turned around and run towards the direction of the Academy, when he arrived a run-down building of the once Umbrella Academy stood tall and now crumbled on the ground.

" Y/n! Vanya!.... Ben!.... Dad! " he yelled out as he turned around, hoping to hear or see someone, " Anyone! " he yelled once more before deciding to use his powers though only a sound of whooshing and creaking and a pale blue whisp was only present.

" Come on!" Five cried out in desperation to return home- home to his original timeline to be with his other half, " Shit... " he cursed before letting down his hands as the realization sinks in that he can't go back home.

Five turned back to where the Academy doors stood and collapsed on his knees, tears running down his cheeks as he regret his decision and now he's facing the consequence of his actions. 

Five placed his hand on the collar and grasp at the jewellery that was beneath his uniform, " I'm sorry... I should have listened to you, Y/n... I shouldn't have left..... " he whimpered

~~~~ 

" I survived on scraps, canned foods, cockroaches, anything I could find " Five explained as he let out a chuckle, reminiscing the things he did to survive, " You know the rumour that twinkies have an endless shelf life? Well that's total bullshit "

Vanya looked concerned while Y/n was now seated on the long couch, trying hard to stay her eyes open.

" I can't even imagine " replied Vanya

" You do whatever it takes to survive, or you die. So we adapted " Five claimed, " Whatever the world threw at us, we found a way to overcome it "

" We? "

Five looked down at his cup, " You got anything stronger? " he asked avoiding his sister's question.

Vanya got up from her seat and walked towards her cupboard then grab some brandy out of it, before pouring it into the cup, Five turned his attention to the female who was fighting up off her sleep as she was trying to brush away the tears that roll down her cheeks from fighting off her sleep that was slowly consuming her. 

 The Boy let out a soft sigh before getting up from his chair and walking toward his sister to grab the cup of brandy from her.

Five took a sip from his cup while Vanya watched him with a worried gaze that he took it wrong.

" You think I'm crazy? " he started

" N-no " Number Seven stammered, " it's just... It's a lot to take in " 

" Exactly what don't you understand? " he fumed

Vanya gulped before throwing a rather obvious question, " Why didn't you just time travel back? "

Five scoffed, " Gee, wish I'd thought of that. Time travel is a crapshoot. I went into the ice and never acorn-ed. You think I didn't try everything to get back to my family? To get back to her!? " then pointed at the other female who has her eyes closed on the long couch.

" If you grew old there, you know- in the apocalypse, how come you still look like a kid? "

" I told you already, " Five said then walked towards the counter and sets down his cup, " I must have got the equations wrong "

" I mean, Dad always used to say that.... " Vanya started as the Boy poured himself another drink, " Time travel could mess up your mind. Well, maybe that's what's happening? "

The Boy sets down his cup rather harshly, " This was a mistake. You're too young... too naïve to understand " He fumed as he began to walk towards the door, the sudden rise of tone made Y/n snap her eyes open and got up from the couch.

" What? " she breathed out as she blinked her eyes to get rid of the drowsiness.

" No. Five... Five, wait " Vanya called out as Five stopped in his tracks, " I haven't seen you in a long time, and I don't want to lose you again. That's all... and you know what, it's getting late and ... " then looked at her sister then turned at Five, " I have lessons early and I need to sleep- N/n needs it too and I'm sure you do, too " she then walked towards the long couch and tidy it up a bit, " Here "

Five watch his sister tidy the couch by fluffing the pillows, " We'll talk in the morning again. Okay? I promise " she assured the male before walking towards Y/n who was wobbling on her feet, she then placed her hands on her sister's cheeks and squeeze her cheeks gently. 

" You also have to sleep, (N/n), it's alright take a rest, okay? " Vanya spoke in a soft voice as she guides her towards the couch, then bopped her finger at Y/n's nose when she got laid on the couch.

" Anya! Stop, yes yes I'll go to sleep now.... " Y/n giggled, " Night night, Anya " she added as Vanya placed a kiss on her forehead.

Five who were at the door watched their interaction with a bitter-sweet smile. Vanya got up from the couch and ruffled her hair one last time before looking at Five then walked towards her bedroom. Five took this opportunity to sit on the couch as he reach his hand to cup the female's cheek then withdrew his hand from her face to grab something in his pocket.

The Boy reveals the white handkerchief and revealed a glass eyeball and turns it around as he read the serial numbers on the back.

" What's with the eyeball, dear? " Y/n asked softly making Five turns and looking at her.

" Shouldn't you be asleep? "

" Tell me first what's with the eyeball "

Five sighs, he knows that the female is not gonna stop till she got to know things, the reason why he got no choice but to explain it to her, " It's our lead on knowing who might be the cause of the apocalypse, Shortcake " 

[wahbegan]

Shit That Happens in Blonde, In No Particular Order

Marilyn Monroe’s mother tries to drown her in a scalding hot bath as a child

Marilyn Monroe is raped by a Hollywood exec at her first audition

Marilyn Monroe hallucinates her mother telling her to kill herself on-set of Don’t Bother to Knock

Marilyn Monroe has a (fictitious) abortion after getting spooked about her career and her mother’s treatment of her, as well as her mental illness

Marilyn Monroe tries to back out of said abortion but is forced to go through with it

Marilyn Monroe gets pregnant again and hallucinates the fetus is talking to her, guilt-tripping her about the abortion

Marilyn Monroe, at the premier of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, tearfully whispers to herself “for this, you killed your baby?”

Marilyn Monroe miscarries the second baby and has a nightmare about getting a second abortion

Both abortions have a weird like from-inside-the-vagina pov shot

The miscarriage has an in utero shot

There is about idk a minute and a half? 2 minutes? That’s just a close-up of Marilyn Monroe’s face as she sucks JFK’s dick

JFK then rapes her??? I think??

Marilyn Monroe regresses to a child state when abused by Joe DiMaggio

Marilyn Monroe asks Arthur Miller “Am I your good girl, Daddy?”

Marilyn Monroe spends the entire movie obsessively chasing her absent father, and when she OD’s on barbies, her final thoughts are of his face in the clouds and shit. I really cannot stress enough, this movie, she is Captain Ahab and her dad is her white fucking whale

Marilyn Monroe has a bizarre throuple with Eddie Robinson & Charlie Chaplin, Juniors. This is the one time she has consensual sex in the movie and even then her agency is bizarrely lacking. They kinda just strip naked and talk her into it with weird artsy fartsy shit and also i think they’re all on drugs. This three-way relationship lasts a long time.

It’s off-screen, but Joe DiMaggio beats the living SHIT out of her with a belt i mean the house is shaking

Marilyn Monroe is portrayed in a way that, maybe i’m just an idiot, but her only three defining personality traits seem to be “I SHOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN THAT ABORTION I WANT A BABY”, “WHERE’S MY DADDY”, and “MARILYN MONROE’S NOT ME I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM”

Marilyn Monroe, summarily, spends three FUCKING hours wandering around in a doe-eyed, teary daze, just kinda reacting to horrible shit people are doing to her

Marilyn Monroe laughs. Uhh....twice, throughout the movie, that i can think of off the top of my head