#no one compelled me to write this

[keeping-an-eye-out]

On the 2021 incident

Ok, I've gotta come clean. Remember all those posts about "uncovering the truth," talk of trespassing on abandoned properties, and spooky ghost photographs back when I was active a few years back? How you all were sending lovely notes hoping for my wellbeing and recovery? I appreciate all of the responses I got to those posts (even the hate).

The truth is, I love a little drama. I was in a bad place mentally after my IP ban, and my online following was dying. Naturally, I created my own news, so to speak.

So, here it is: the ghost sighting posts were all a social experiment. A "hoax" though that word is a bit harsh. Gotcha!

I deeply apologize if I hurt anyone or betrayed your trust as an audience. I hope you all understand that I will be an honest man and changed person moving forward.

I will be returning to covering local news and drama shortly. There are plenty of mysteries afoot, don't get me wrong! I'll be there every step of the way. In short, let me make it up to you! I'm turning over a new leaf.

Hope you didn't miss me too much.

Signing off for now is your host,

Cain Mosni, pure of heart and journalistic integrity, starting now.

[ihatebrainstorm]

messy megop yuri sketches bc this song for some reason keeps reminding me of them (and also bc i've been thinking on revisiting my humanformer designs lmao)

potentially? suggestive stuff below?? (idk if it counts, maybe? doing this just in case lol)

accidentally got so carried away last night that I ended up in Narnia whoops

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

Charles at quali and during the race tomorrow:

[bookshelf-in-progress]

I love how a well-written romance is so often structured as a mystery. A person starts with a certain idea about another person, and over the course of the story, they uncover more evidence that gives them a fuller picture of who the other person truly is. They learn about layers to the personality and backstory that give the other person more depth. They learn how the other person's personality meshes with theirs. Even the third-act misunderstanding fits the mystery structure--it looks like they've uncovered the final secret to the other person's identity, which is that they're not the worthy person they seemed to be, but then discover that they misinterpreted that evidence, or the other person takes steps to apologize and repair the level of trust. When the mystery is resolved, they've reached a full understanding of each other and know they've found a partner they can trust their whole future to.

[dreamerdrop]

Yes hello I would VERY MUCH like to see the "Garak is being honest about his Feelings but Julian thinks he's mocking him" fic for the angst potential and how APPALLED Garak would be once he figures it out/Julian admits what's going on. Julian thinks someone would do *what* with his feelings??? Based on...prior experience?! No, this will not do. Anyway, if you decide to post this one I for one will be super excited to read it.

haaaah, if i can get my brain to function coherently enough to manage wording stuff properly, i’ll consider writing it.

i feel like i’d have to set it after like… our man bashir, maybe? hm.

and then there’s garak pov vs julian pov for writing it, because i. really do hate swtiching povs in writing lol. third person limited from a specific viewpoint or bust, y’know?

but it’d be super easy to write from there, though.

garak asking to show julian some fabric he got in the back of his shop, julian assuming this is garak code for ‘we’re gonna have a quickie over lunch instead of book flirting’.

then garak tries to subtly allude to his feelings. julian doesn’t get it and is somewhat confused by why he and garak aren’t just making out and frotting already, his lunch break is only an hour or something after all.

garak tries again, less subtly. julian gets it. awkward silence follows. then julian gets annoyed, huffs, rolls his eyes. “did you seriously drag me back here just to make a bad joke, garak?”

lunch break ends with julian thinking garak is an asshole, and garak thinking julian has just rejected him by acting like it was a joke.

they avoid each other for a week. eventually, julian visits garak’s shop during lunch, hoping to talk things out. suggests that if garak promises to not be a jerk like that again, they can still talk literature and occasionally mess around. now garak is the one getting fucking offended.

they have another argument, and julian suddenly realises garak was SERIOUS, and garak realises that julian really honest to fuck thought garak was making fun of him by pretending to have feelings for him as a joke.

they kiss and make up and finally have that quickie in the back room like julian was hoping for from the start.

[missingn000]

hey all! i wrote a what-if character study & action fic for if king fought sanji instead of zoro during the raid on onigashima. i'd really love if you gave it a read! thanks so much!

link

playlist

happy reading!

[marcusagrippa]

anyway agrippa on his knees in front of octavian after the proscriptions. maybe a little covered in blood as a treat. twink has his hand in his hair. et cetera.

[ai-the-broccoli]

enemies to lovers / but you'll never own my heart

@luzon-dove happy birthday, Quinn!! As a present, I decided to draw a piece fanart of your "blood in the walls of the yagami house" AU fic series, since I found it very well-written and full of super interesting ideas and concepts. I hope you like it!

[kingofanemptyworld]

Rin, identity issues, and the complications of being an isolated, alienated teenager

It feels sort of weird to say but I generally don’t head canon characters as having particular sexualities. Whatever people go for in fics is usually fine with me - gay, lesbian, bi, pan, something more general like queer. As long as it makes sense for the story they’ve built and the character they’ve shaped to fit it, I’m good. Unless you’re ignoring a canon LGBTQ+ sexuality, in which case, yeah, I’ll take issue with that.

But anyway. Rin.

I’ve got my personal ship for him (BonRin my beloved), but regardless of the pairing I see him as bisexual. He’s so open with his infatuation with Shiemi, and okay, sure, fandom likes to ignore the love interest in shounen for the most part because we’ve got gay ships to peddle. But I don’t see the point in that unless it really reads like it’s a front, or a result of a character suppressing themselves for one reason or another. And with Rin, I think it’s pretty clear his affection for Shiemi is sincere. You technically have the in-universe evidence of the demon that brought out his true desires to back that up, but even without it, Rin likes her. It’s complicated because of Yukio and Shiemi’s own inexperience with romance, and yet I never once doubt he really likes her.

That being said… he’s very appreciative of the guys in his life, too. (Peddling my gay ship here) Bon in particular, considering he’s often admiring how cool he thinks Bon is, that his haircut suits him whether it’s the blonde rooster look or the undercut. If you don’t want to see it as romantic interest, that’s your prerogative, but to me Rin comes across as seeing cool and cute as different traits he finds attractive (in Bon and Shiemi respectively).

I also think his bisexuality would fit neatly into his narrative struggles to “pass” throughout the early parts of the series. Rin has grown up as the neighborhood problem child, ostracized for being violent, and eventually he decides he’s fine with just his brother and his father — and the rest of the monastery, presumably — for company. (Except that’s absolutely not true and clearly he’s starved for friendship and support.) People looked at him and saw a monster, even before his demonic heritage made an appearance; why would he bother giving them even more ammunition when it comes to reasons to hate him? So no matter when he figured out his attraction to guys, he’s not going to lean into it, because he also likes girls, right? (Ignoring for a moment that bisexuality is a lot more nuanced than that.)

Rin likes girls, Rin is human — that’s what’s going to get people to like him, or at the very least tolerate him. That he likes guys, that he’s half demon, he can shove that shit down and pretend it doesn’t exist. Lock up any stray thoughts and keep the sword sheathed around anyone who doesn’t already know.

(Excuse me for being amused by Rin wielding his humanity and supposed heterosexuality as a sword and shield.)

The problem, of course, is that he can’t keep up the facade forever. The narrative won’t let him. Rin has to embrace his demonic side, because it’s the only way to move forward and to continue to help his loved ones. And once he’s moved past the issue of his friends being upset over the deception, when they understand he’s still Rin despite what he’d hidden from them, Rin is finally allowed to be himself. He uses his flames, he lets his tail move freely in the open around the Cram School kids. Rin still doesn’t like this side of himself — it’s inextricably tied to every moment of pain and isolation he’s dealt with his entire life, including the death of Father Fujimoto (and, y’know, his mom). But he is moving forward, he’s trying to adapt.

And isn’t that some great fucking subtext for his bisexuality, too?

[mister13eyond]

dont normally post about drama but this seems relevant:

im seeing a lot of people jump to "james somerton was never good anyways" in retaliation for the hbomb expose, but there's a really fine line to tread there before you get into stepping on the toes of the people he stole from, you know?

some of his videos and analysis did seem genuinely intelligent, thoughtful, insightful, and well-written. yeah, it turns out those are the result of him stealing from other people. but that doesnt mean the original writers WEREN'T intelligent, thoughtful, insightful and good writers. he had plenty of garbage opinions interspersed throughout, but the reason many people (myself included) were suckered in by him is that the queer creators he stole from DID have really important and interesting analysis. the parts of his videos that were good were stolen, but by discounting his essays entirely we're throwing the baby out with the bathwater and insisting those he stole from didn't have anything important to say.

the parts he himself supplied were trash, but he stole the work of some genuinely brilliant and insightful writers and passed it off as his own- and that writing still exists and is still brilliant and insightful; we just know now who was actually responsible for it and who to thank for that work

lets just be careful when we smugly proclaim that we always hated everything he had to say- because a lot of the words we're discounting were never his to begin with, and the last thing those authors need is to have their work trash talked because it ended up in the mouth of someone dishonest

[gingermintpepper]

In light of my recent Asclepius and Apollo musings, I feel like it's the perfect time to post this, actually.

How do you build a human being? 

Bold question. Foolish question. But a question it is all the same. 

The memory of his father’s consternated expression is still bright behind his eyes, that unusually furrowed brow, the tension in his gentle jaw. He didn’t falter in his setting of Asclepius’ broken shin, hands perpetually steady and sure, but he hesitated for a conspicuously long moment as though reluctant to give an answer. In this body, he resembled Orpheus something fierce. The same flaxen curls of his hair, the same delicate eyelashes that stand stark against the dark brown of his skin. Often Asclepius wondered if his elder brother was nothing but a body built to suit their father’s preferences. The subtle wrinkle of skin around their eyes when they smiled was the same, and the steadiness of their hands, the soothing power of their presence. 

And Orpheus did not bleed like Asclepius did. The blood in Asclepius’ veins were as red as any human’s, any mortal’s, but Orpheus seemed not to bleed at all. Even when he’d suffered the same fall down the crumbling cliff as Asclepius had. Even when his skirts had ripped and jagged stone sliced into his shanks. 

Even so, Orpheus was unmistakably alive. His eyes were rich with grief fresher than any blood spilt from the worst of Asclepius’ wounds, his counsel too, was tempered with the wisdom of a life well lived. So even at the apex of his most perfect, inhuman beauty, Asclepius never once doubted that his brother was a human being. Just that he was more divine construct than flesh and blood. Just that their father had built for himself a son that would not break as easily as all the others. 

His father stayed silent for so long that Asclepius assumed it would be one of the million questions that would go unanswered. Then, just when the last of his bandages had been wrapped - 

“A human body is easy to build,” he’d had that faraway look on his face as he spoke, like he was speaking to the horizon. Or a version of Asclepius that was not quite here. Such things happened from time to time. “Any flesh would do. From men, or animals, or even monsters. Any flesh would do.” Their gazes had locked then, and Asclepius would never forget the flecks of gold which swirled in his father’s blue eyes, the weight of divine words rattling at the boundaries of their mortal apparatus, “But the breath of life, a living soul? That is beyond your means as a mortal man. You ought never seek it.” 

(Asclepius would remember these words when he revives a man for the first time at the age of nineteen. He’s surprised to find that his father is wrong for once. Souls are easy to source when they’re already eager to return to their mound of flesh.) 

[youngpettyqueen]

I need to talk about Julian's whole thing with Sloan in Extreme Measures cause it does actually make me feel a certain kind of rabid

Extreme Measures is a great episode for the Julian/Miles dynamic and has a lot of great moments with them but I think an underrated element of the episode is how it very plainly shows just how much the Dominion War has changed Julian, and how his morals have shifted into a much greyer area

Julian in this episode is very callous towards Sloan even as he's literally dying. he has no issues violating Sloan's mind, and when Sloan dies, the only reason he actually cares is because the answers and secrets Sloan has will die with him. truly cannot emphasize enough just how deeply Julian fucking hates Sloan, and sheer hatred isnt something we really see all that much from Julian, especially not to the degree he was with Sloan

even with that, though, Julian has never been like that with another patient. Julian doesnt let his personal feelings get in the way of being a doctor, and always treats his patients with the utmost care and his best work. Julian was willing to find a cure for the Jem'Hadar's addiction, simply because they asked for help, even if it meant potentially making them into a much bigger threat than they already were. Julian treated Tain in Camp 371. and, sure, Julian does treat Sloan, but he does so explicitly because Sloan has information they need, not because he has any care for Sloan's life

and I think that- his willingness to violate Sloan's mind to get what they need, and how he didn't particularly care that Sloan died- is a really bleak look at just how much the war has changed Julian and how much it's shifted his moral compass. throughout the war, Julian has been ordered time and time again to compromise his morals. add to that several traumatic events- multiple of which are orchestrated by Sloan- and a slide into deep depression, and it's no wonder he gets to a point where he can do the things he does in this episode

and I dont think it hits him until much later. I think one day, long after the war has ended and theyre still rebuilding everything that was broken, Julian lays awake at night and remembers how bad it got and what he became willing to do, and it makes him sick to his stomach

[pussyhoundspock]

I do think something the early seasons of Cobra Kai actually did show well was the cycle within a lot of alcoholics i know where there is a deep seated self loathing that is very selfish right very self absorbed and most importantly the choice to wallow in that self loathing/deny themselves forgiveness as punishments but that only results in keeping them further away from their kids, more reliant on alcohol and pushes them deeper into alcoholism and self destructive behavior. Like it enables them to fall worse into this cycle of self loathing leading to hurting and even failing those around them which is what I think is pretty clearly what's going on with Johnny and Robby and was actually pretty briefly portrayed pretty accurately & genuinely compellingly in those early seasons

[mxjackparker]

I read a lot of fanfic. Sometimes I read AUs where a character is a sex worker, hoping this time it'll be handled sensitively. Even knowing how unrealistic it is, I've given client/sex worker romances a try; despite real life not working that way I do understand the wish fulfilment aspect.

The problem is there's this phenomena that happens when the "client" acts just as entitled as they do in real life, with the narrative having the sex worker react negatively to it but still fall for them. The longer it goes on, the more I feel like the character deep down is trying to claw their way out. It feels like watching a friend fall into an abusive relationship whilst convincing themselves it's what they want. If the narrative leads to the sex worker quitting sex work to date the wealthy client, whisked out of their life of poverty, I think about the times friends who are sex workers have made themselves believe they're happy in a relationship with an ex-client (or more commonly a sugar daddy) because it's easier than accepting that they've made a trade between an abusive relationship and the harms that come with immense poverty.

I don't know why I keep reading these fanfics.

[possamble]

What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.

so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.

Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:

She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent

Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married

She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came

She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays

She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home

Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)

She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words

the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.

She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)

Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues

She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)

She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).

She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)

She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.

She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food

(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:

She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it

seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)

slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)

(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))

However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.

Subsequent conclusions about her personality:

Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).

Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:

Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.

Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?

Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:

It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:

Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.

We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.

It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.

It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.

"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).

And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?

Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?

I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:

copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.

It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.

But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.

What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."

Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.

All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)

There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.

but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.

(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)

[livingtheparadoxlife]

The relationship between Julian and Mark gets me. Every. Damn. Time.

They started out normal, Mark calling him pipsqueak but still taking care of him, Julian annoying him but still loving him. But then Sebastian turns up and everything gets blasted to hell.

Mark's essentially kidnapped, Eleanor and Andrew dead, and Helen exiled. So Julian steps up and does a wonderful job of it. He takes on the Institute's business at the ripe old age of 12, and proves to be extraordinarily great at it. He manages to hide his uncle's problem from the rest of the world. He takes care of his siblings in an almost fervent way. On top of that, he has to actually take lessons. And even better, he has major PTSD from committing patricide, which btw saved his brother's life. He's stressed, he bears way too much burden for a child but at the end of the day, he has his siblings and Emma and his art to turn to, though there's very less he can share with the children and one he can't with Emma.

Mark is not much better. The Wild Hunt doesn't see him as a comrade, they see him as a Shadowhunter spawn and then treat him as if he is the Clave. They take out their frustrations on him, whipping him raw and probably starving him to the point Julian notes how frail he looks. 'Whipcord thin', he calls him. He almost loses his mind, as the talks with Simon prove. The only thing holding him to sanity at that point, is his family. He goes on by naming the stars after them, so that he never forgets who he is- a Shadowhunter. But the Shadowhunters see him as a faerie. He has no community outside his family, both sides of his ancestry have disowned him. To me, personally, he seems to have been damaged to the point where something in him will never completely heal. But he has Kieran, he's responsible for nothing, only to ride with the Hunt.

And then he's back. The moment they've all dreamt of, but it's not what they dreamt of.

Essentially, they change into versions the other cannot recognize. Mark knew Julian as this gentle, kind, artistic brother who was annoying sure, but unbelievably precious. He doesn't know the outwardly cold, very visibly shrewd man he's become. And Julian knew the responsible older brother who had taken care of him, loved him and teased him. He cannot find him in the thin, frail, funny speaking man, one of whose eyes now doesn't mirror his own, who seems to have gone out of his mind. The scars on him are all wrong, and he seems more fey than angel.

Julian is hurt because his siblings want Mark, and he in turn lashes out at Mark. Mark remembers very little of the human world, he no longer belongs there. Julian tries to let Mark takeover, but Mark understandably can't. Julian wishes he could be the fun older brother and not the guardian. Mark wishes to take care of them like he used to but can't.

They no longer fit in together like they used to, there's a wall made of insanity and expectations and responsibility and years of distance between them.

Mark can no longer take care of his brother. Julian can no longer let his brother hold him like he used to.

This has to be extremely terrifying for both of them. I'd be terrified if my younger sister became as cold and calculating as Julian presented himself to be. At the same time, if my older brother became as mentally and physically broken as Mark, I'd lose all hope. But Mark doesn't let what he sees make him forget who he is brother is at his core. And neither does Julian let go of his love for Mark even in light of his resentment.

Them learning to brothers again is what seems to me so compelling to me. At the end, Julian lets Mark hold him and Mark can now support him, if only for a little while, without faltering.

All of the Blackthorns have undergone significant changes by the start of TDA, but none more so than the two of them, who've almost become different people. And so, it's one of my favourite parts of TDA too, amidst the extremely dark setting.