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nnight-dances · 2 years ago

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REPETITION / RARE LOVE

pairings: kim mingyu x fem!reader (ft. yoon jeonghan)

genre: fluff, angst, suggestive & sexual content

tropes: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers (except mingyu's the only idiot), pining, flirting

warnings: explicit language, banter, alcohol consumption, borderline jeonghan slander but it's okay because i would die for the man, has been proofread by me once but only barely. kazuha (le sserafim) is your roommate, huh yunjin is present.

WHAT TO EXPECT

it's simple enough: you and mingyu are perfect for each other. you've told him as much but after years of him avoiding the topic, you leave him alone. but when your long-time infatuation with jeonghan gets rejected, you have nothing to distract you from your desire to be with mingyu. all it takes is you making out with the wrong person and a can of beer for mingyu to come to his senses. (about 11k)

OR: maybe you don't hate repetition as much as you claim to.

SEQUEL OUT NOW!

“why are men on tinder actually vile?” you question out loud, not quite expecting an answer as your eyes continue to read the offensive opener you’d received from a recent match. mingyu, who’s crouched on the desk across from you, frowns.

“y/n, we’re meant to be studying,” he points out, “but also i thought you were over tinder?”

you look at him blankly, “i am! i just gotta finish what i started you know…”

mingyu looks deeply disappointed in you and you slide your phone across to him, “look at this message i just got! it’s disgusting! i don’t need to know if someone’s wet at the thought of—”

“god, y/n, do you have to scream?” he asks as he takes hold of your phone, busying his fingers probably with blocking the guy. you momentarily look back at your screen where the black document meant to be the outline for your final art history paper taunts you.

you sigh, looking down at your phone when mingyu returns it. “i paused your account and deleted the app.” you sigh yet again, “man! if you were gonna uninstall it without my permission you should’ve just deleted my account.”

“you’d just make another one anyway,” he shrugs, “plus, this way when you go back you’ll remember why you left in the first place.”

you grumble something under your breath but resume your attempts at writing. mingyu smiles a little as he goes back to his own work. a beat passes before, he puts his pen down again and when he sees you’re staring at your screen distantly, he asks, “did you talk to jeonghan yet?”

you gasp at the mention of your years-old crush, glancing around you as if you weren’t in a private study room (because apparently the only way either of you could get anything done was while talking to each other). “what?” mingyu continues, “one of us had to address the elephant in the room.”

“wow, you’re just the worst friend ever, aren’t you? it’s like you can’t read rooms at all. i clearly did not want to talk about jeonghan.”

“well, now you are. so you might as well be honest with me. did you think about confessing to him?”

you deflate, stomach suddenly uneasy, “no. i don’t think i will. i don’t need him to know.”

“you kinda do. y/n, look at me,” mingyu knocks on the wood to demand your attention, “it’s the only way you’ll ever have an answer.”

“i don't want an answer.”

“…”

"because i'm going to move on from him!"

"..."

“okay, well, i’m starting to! just watch me, okay? i have the agency to not be completely consumed by my very shallow attraction to a very attractive and impressive man.”

“right. you just used attractive twice in a sentence— and no, i don’t care if it wasn’t the same form of the word, you absolutely hate redundant things. and yet, you refuse to recognize the way out of this pattern of yours.”

“you are so tiring, mingyu, you know that? exhausting, even. i don’t want to do this anymore.” you shake your head at him, suddenly invigorated to finish this damn preliminary proposal of yours.

—

yunjin cackles as she plops down across from you in the dining hall, finding you scrolling ever so dedicatedly on pinterest. “what’s this?”

you look up at her with a pout, “i need a dress for hoshi’s little party. it’s in two weeks and i have zero options.”

“fuck, i knew i was forgetting something,” she grimaces in her typical huh yunjin way and shifts closer, “i need to find something for that too. can’t just wear a corset and call it day since he’s labelling it a formal and whatnot.”

“he really is the worst,” you agree, pausing to muse over a pretty white dress with red roses all over it. “hmm, what about this one?”

yunjin tilts her head and nods as she looks between you and the dress, probably imagining you in it. then, you sigh, “it’s just i don’t think red is my color like that.”

you’re about to elaborate when you hear a gasp from behind you, “that is simply not true!” you don’t have time to react when a figure slides in next to you. goddamnit, it’s jeonghan, you realize, trying hard to keep it together when his shoulder comes to sit next to yours. “you absolutely fucking rock the color red.”

“i do?” is all you can muster as yunjin chokes out a badly covered laugh. you glare at her, “what’s funny, jen?”

“hah, nothing, i agree with jeonghan, you’d look lovely in red.”

you frown, unconvinced as you scroll some more, feeling dizzy from jeonghan’s presence.

“preparing for hoshi’s party i presume?” jeonghan asks and you nod. “i’m so stressed, i have nothing and it’s approaching so fast.”

“you have time though,” he reassures but you’re quick to protest, “i’m not going to have any time next week because we’re organizing that night flea market. i’ll be running around campus so i need to take a trip this week.” the beauty of going to a college with an isolated campus: peace and you gotta plan every time you leave campus because there’s a singular bus that takes you to the city. it’d be a whole day trip for you if not for mingyu, who thankfully has a car that he can drive.

“ahh, tell me when you’re going into the city, y/n,” yunjin pats you, “i gotta go too.”

you nod and then remember, “right of course, i just remembered kazuha saying she wanted to come too.”

“nice,” yunjin approves, “we need all the opinions we can get. did you get mingyu to agree to drive you yet?”

“i texted him earlier but he hasn’t replied, which is slightly concerning because he may not know how to spell but he does write back very fast.”

jeonghan chuckles, “mind if i join you guys too?”

you stop in your tracks, turning to face him, “you wanna come shopping with us?”

he nods, that sweet smile of his plastered across his face, “yeah, i could use a new formal outfit. i’m tired of wearing the same black suit to everything.” he nudges your side, “plus, you guys could help me out. i can never decide on anything all alone.”

—

“maybe i should just not go,” you groan with your head in your hands. mingyu rolls his eyes, slapping your back, “why would not go? if your problem’s with jeonghan, he should be the one to stay back. not you.”

you sit back up, staring at the eggs in your plate. beside you, mingyu chugs his glass of orange juice, and you lean against him. “god, i hate him so much. do you wanna go see if the playground’s free?”

“right now?” mingyu looks at the time. it’s 11 am on saturday, still an hour from the time everyone agreed to meet in front of mingyu’s car, which is conveniently parked right across from the playground. as if following your line of thought, he grins, “alright. but you finish your food first.”

you sigh, “okay, mom, i will.”

five minutes later find you racing mingyu for the best swing in the playground— months of visiting the place had taught you the first swing was the only one that didn’t creak too loud and experienced the least amount of bumps during the ride. mingyu’s fast but you’re stubborn so you reach out for his arm midway, sticking your nails into the skin, knowing how dramatic he is about these things.

he gasps, “DO NOT CLAW ME.” strong as he might be, he slows down to rip your grip off. you seize the opportunity, getting a headstart and laugh when you reach the swing before him, sitting down firmly before mingyu can pull you away.

“that’s cheating, y/n, you know it!”

“hey, you’re the one that has an advantage. you go to the gym like eight times a week. i go like thrice a month.”

“sounds like someone’s lazy and whiny to me.”

you smile, “someone lazy wouldn’t win that race. and you’re the one that’s whining,” you point to his stance, his arms at his hips like an affronted toddler. he loosens his body with a pout as he walks over to the second swing. “whatever.”

time passes a little too fast for you two when you’re fighting like this because kazuha’s running over to you, breathless. “y/n! what are you guys doing?”

“zuha, hi! did you—”

“yep, i got your lip gloss.”

you chuckle, throwing your arms around her, “why are you the best roommate ever?”

mingyu scoffs, “what about you being the worst roommate ever?”

kazuha laughs, too nice to agree with him, “hey, that’s not true.” you hit him in the side, “you’re just jealous that you’re in a single. i guess money really does make people lonely.”

“i’d go for a double even if i was that rich,” jeonghan’s voice pops up from beside you. he sure has a knack for appearing out of thin air. “i couldn’t handle being alone.”

“not everyone can love themselves as much as i do,” mingyu shrugs, smugly as crosses his arms. “i’m self-sufficient like that.”

“if you guys are done, we should start moving,” comes yunjin’s voice from near mingyu’s car, “it’s already fifteen past 12.”

“i call shotgun!” yunjin shouts and you’re quick to fight back, “no way, i already called it.”

“if i didn’t hear it, then it doesn’t count,” she teases, leaning against the passenger side. you glare at mingyu, “i called it in front of mingyu! the driver is the one that counts.”

mingyu laughs at the petty fight, “y/n did call it earlier this morning.”

“that’s not fair! mingyu’s obviously going to take y/n’s side, you guys spend every breathing minute together. the rest of us don’t stand a chance.”

you smirk, “don’t be a sore loser, huh yunjin, you can call it when we’re coming back. if you remember to.”

“i hate you,” she mutters as everyone settles into the car.

“i’m open to music requests, dear friends,” you announce once you’ve started off. “but i reserve the right to reject any tasteless songs.”

“isn’t this the textbook example of a tyranny?” jeonghan breathes and you shoot him a look over your shoulder, “hey, the power comes with the seat. it’s natural selection.”

mingyu groans through laughter, “you know you don’t make any sense. just play some music.”

you roll your eyes, “he says as he laughs his fat ass off.”

“she’s just salty my ass is fatter than hers,” he mutters under his breath. the three in the backseat break into laughs at that, all at your expense as you gape at them. such betrayal.

“i don’t know why i call you friends. you’re monsters.”

kazuha pipes in, “y/n, are you calling your sweet roommate a monster right now?”

jeonghan is quick to join in, “honestly, i’d say kazuha is the nicest friend among us here.”

“fine, everyone but zuha’s out to get me right now.” the screaming continues for a little bit longer until yunjin and kazuha tire themselves out and pass out. you chuckle when you look at them, yunjin’s head bobs in the middle of the three until it hits kazuha’s shoulder, whose head then rests on top.

swiftly, you pull out your phone camera and capture the moment, sure to tease them later. as you’re clicking the photos, jeonghan’s face sticks into the corner with a sneaky grin and you shift the angle to include him. enjoying the attention, he shoots the camera a peace sign, followed by a little heart, and then a cheek heart and now he’s a bunny and then—

you pull yourself away abruptly with a shaky laugh, “god, jeonghan, this isn’t a photoshoot.”

he laughs back, “ha ha, sorry, i can’t help myself. it’s so fun to tease you like this.”

you feel the blood rush to your face at that, so you turn to face the road completely, a weak, “fuck off” on your tongue. mingyu silently observes the interaction, not without a little side-eye that you don’t know what to think of. “you should get some rest, y/n, you didn’t sleep last night.”

you frown, surprised mingyu knows that and you don’t get to ask him why he knows that because jeonghan interrupts, “you guys sure are close. i was talking to hoshi the other day, he misses y’all a lot.”

“he does? he can just come talk to us whenever though,” mingyu replies, doubt tracing his tone. “i don’t think we’re exclusive like that.”

“right?” you agree, “we used to be so close to hoshi, too, and then he moved to the other side of campus this semester and now i have like one class with him.”

“i don’t know,” jeonghan says, “you should talk to him about it, but there’s always been something stronger about the two of you together.”

you shrug, “we always end up together. it’s not that deep i think. it’s just how it is.”

the topic ends there as jeonghan agrees and dozes off himself too. you, however, feel eerily awake. awake? no, more like unsettled. something in your nerves is off and you feel on edge. you’re a little spaced out after that, as you finally reach the city circle with all the shops crowded next to each other with a little mall in the center.

as everyone gets off and gathers their things, mingyu pulls you aside with a concerned look, “are you okay, y/n?” his grip on your elbow grounds you a little. you inhale, knowing better than to pretend in front of him, “yeah, just a little uneasy. i don’t know why. probably just tired.”

mingyu looks like he knows something more about your condition, “are you sure? we can take a break at one of the restaurants before shopping if you want?”

“nah, i’m okay, don’t worry. i’m a strong girl,” you smile, reasurring him with a pat to his chest, “i feel better now. thanks, mingyu.”

he frowns, hand loosening against your skin, “you never thank me, weirdo. don’t be so formal.”

“man, there’s no winning with you, is there?”

he chuckles as he pulls you after the others, “no, i’m insatiable.”

—

an hour into shopping, you realize why you hate doing this. everything is so overwhelming when you’re in the city, so many people, so many clothes. at least you have friends with you as you scan racks after racks, ending up with three potential dresses on your arm. you mutter a prayer in your head that you can find something nice here so you don’t have to walk more. this is already your third store.

the first one is a classic: a little black dress. it’s satin so it sits smooth against your skin and feels soft when you twirl around. it’s a little short for your liking, perhaps too tight against your ass. you turn to the side to get a better look. you take a photo and send it to mingyu, who you’d been going back and forth with. he’d last sent you a photo ten minutes ago: him in a stupid minion onesie. you’d cursed him out real well in response telling him to stop fucking around. he writes back fast.

big gyu: u look good

big gyu: kinda basic tho

you: yea i thought so too

you agree with that, putting the dress aside in case you don’t find anything else at all.

candidate number two is more over the top: a long red dress with little black patterns on it, with a leg slit on one side. getting into it was a whole struggle but you get it on finally. it fits well thanks to the slit which also shows off some skin. you’re hot in it: like literally. the long sleeves don’t help at all. but you look good too, the flare doing wonders for your figure. you pause, sending a photo hoping mingyu would be of help.

however, when mingyu takes longer than a minute to reply, you groan, already sweating a little. concluding that he’s probably changing or something, you peek out your curtain, hoping yunjin was still in the stall next to yours. you call out her name, straining your neck to see if there was anyone else you could ask for help.

you spot jeonghan walking around the shelves near the fitting rooms and before you can hesitate to call him over, he notices your head poking out. he raises an eyebrow, sending your heartbeat into a spiral. “y/n? do you need help?”

you clear your throat, “um, yeah, i need a second opinion on this dress.” jeonghan approaches your corner and you panic when he reaches for the curtain to draw it back. his eyes question you, “can i look?” you let go of it to let him in, a tiny little rational part of you wondering he needed to come inside the room to see.

“ohhh,” he exclaims as he takes you in, “you look amazing. told ya red was your color.”

you turn away from him a little, “this dress is hot.”

“it sure is,” he agrees and you blush harder, “no i meant, like literally. i’m so hot right now.”

jeonghan presses his lips together, giving away the fact that he understands but being the little bitch he is, he chooses the option that makes you wanna combust. he presses two fingers to your cheek and mumbles, “yeah, you are.”

you push his arm off, “yoon jeonghan! you’re such a damn flirt! get out of here.” you force him out of your space and he’s uncontrollably laughing as he lets you. “i’ve another dress to try so wait outside for me.”

“sure you don’t need a hand changing—”

“no, thank you very much!” you scream, greeted with more pleased chuckling. your phone buzzes, catching your attention. you lean down to look at it.

big gyu: niceee thats hot

big gyu: u should get this dress

big gyu: pls

you: …girl why are u begging me

big gyu: because.

big gyu: you’re getting this dress right

you: no i’d die of overheating in it

big gyu: and it’d be worht it

you: i dont like how enthusiastic u are about this...

you: wtv this one's rejected.

you: i still have another dress to try

you put your phone down to try the final dress. this one was a purple slip dress with white flower detailing. it was skin tight against your boobs and a little transparent, giving away your black bra underneath. and to contrast, it sat a little loose on your hips which was honestly not the worst look, keeping from the dress becoming too scandalous. you enjoyed this dress the most so far. that was enough, given the track record.

“you done, y/n?” you’re startled when the voice outside is mingyu’s instead of jeonghan. you pull back the curtains in confusion, “gyu? what’re you doing here?” mingyu stops short, “fuck, i like this one.” you flush a little when you notice his eyes settle on your chest for a beat too long. “that’s stunning, for real.”

you laugh. “look at you using big words. but yeah, i think this is the one.” you look over at him, “did jeonghan leave?”

“um, yeah, he said he had to use the washroom when i ran into him on the way,” he mumbles. you nod, a little relieved because you think you’d die if he saw you right now. “anyway, i’m offended you were showing him your dresses and then all i got was a photo.”

“hey, you were taking so long to reply that i had seek someone else out. he just happened to be her.”

mingyu ignores that and tells you to hurry up, “i need your help choosing something for myself.”

“ugh, alright, give me five.”

in the end, you decided you’d get both the classic black dress and the slip dress, you needed more dresses in general. wouldn’t hurt to have more. when you’re done checking out, you find mingyu in conversation with kazuha who’s smiling with a shopping bag in her hands.

“zuha, you get anything?” you ask. she nods eagerly, “yeah! i got this pink dress that jeonghan helped me find just now. it’s really pretty, i’ll show you later in the room.”

you falter a little at that, glancing at mingyu who’d told you he went to the washroom. ignoring the growing unsettling gut feeling, you inform her you’d found something too. “nice, we should have a try-on in the room later.”

“you guys!!” yunjin joins the group, “this is insane. i hit the jackpot and found the sexiest green dress ever.” you laugh, linking arms with her, “you should come over later and try it on with us.”

“ah, the beauty of womanhood,” mingyu grumbles beside you, and you shove him. “you’re not invited, pervert.”

his jaw falls open, “excuse me? what did you just call me?”

you press an index finger into his bicep, “don’t think i didn’t notice you checking my boobs out earlier.” mingyu’s cheek redden at the light-hearted accusation, worsening when jeonghan appears right at the climax of the argument.

“okay, okay, first of all, i wasn’t checking anything out!” he complains, “and-and well, they—”

jeonghan cuts him off, patting his back with an amused smirk, “it’s alright, buddy, it happens to the best of us.” everyone laughs at that, much to mingyu’s chagrin who then becomes pouty for the rest of the walk to the next shop.

“c’mon,” you pull him into the store, “my turn to stare at your tits.”

“god, would you drop it?” he groans as he follows you in. “it won’t happen again.”

you giggle, “it’s okay with me, gyu, because that just means the girls look good.”

he groans again, “i really don’t need to be a part of this.” he wanders off into the store, embarrassed. you let him go, looking at clothes for him separately. turns out shopping for mingyu is harder than the concept of it sounds. it doesn’t help that he’s an expert at criticizing the small detail in every item you choose for him. half an hour later, you’re tired of him.

as if on cue, kazuha calls you to tell you to come over to an asian restaurant nearby to grab lunch. you thank the lords as you pull mingyu away, “there’s nothing here for me anyway,” he grumbles as you meet up with the rest.

entering the restaurant, you spot kazuha and jeonghan at a table nearby. yunjin’s still on her way it turns out as you sit across from them, heart in throat for the worst reason possible: you’re jealous. you may be down bad for jeonghan but that doesn’t mean you’ve lost your ability to take a hint. trying to keep the thought from completely forming in your head, you make conversation with everyone, wanting to be better than this.

you want to avoid thinking about it so you’re quick to shut jeonghan off. he’s his usual self, joking around with everyone but he picks up when you’re not as receptive as usual. you hope he just thinks nothing of it, but you know that’s not possible when he approaches you after lunch as everyone else is washing up in the bathroom.

you’re outside alone, waiting, when he slightly pushes your shoulder to draw your attention. you gasp lightly. “jeonghan?”

“can i talk to you for a sec?”

you frown, “yeah, you’re talking to me right now.”

“come on, y/n, don’t be cold. let’s go for a walk.”

“but, the others—”

“i let mingyu know we’ll be back in a few.”

out of excuses, you silently follow jeonghan’s stride through the busy street. he makes conversation really well, easing you up in no time as he distracts you from what was on your mind. it’s illegal how smoothly he then proceeds to drop the act.

you’re laughing about what he’d said about hoshi’s drinking habits just now, when he suddenly goes serious, “i think i like kazuha.”

you freeze up at that, fighting the frown that itches closer, looking at him like you didn’t hear him. heart’s out of control right now, but at least you were already expecting this outcome. “huh?”

“sorry, i just thought you should know. i’m really into her and i was planning to ask her out sometime this week.”

you would love to pass away right now. immediately, you think you hate jeonghan for doing this to you. it’s clear from his behavior that he knows you like him and that he’s apologizing— he’s rejecting you before you have a chance to confess. he likes kazuha. he’s going to ask her out. you should know that.

you sputter awkwardly, “that’s great! good for you, jeonghan. and um, you really didn’t have to tell me. i’m sure kazuha would love to be with you.”

you never want to speak a word to anyone ever again and you're sweating ever so profusely, so you speed up a little, “and we should get going, no?”

sensing your mood, jeonghan follows along but says, “i’m sorry, y/n. i- i know you…”

you don’t let him finish because it would genuinely kill you to hear him say he knows you like him. “you don’t have to be sorry.” with that, you essentially leave your body. you move fast enough to reach the car, wordlessly getting into the passenger seat and yunjin somehow knows better than to fight you.

the car ride back is filled with music. not much chatter. you realize it’s partly your fault and silently dread being back in the room with kazuha, but to your relief, when you reach she doesn’t bring anything up. you’re too tired to do a try-on like you promised and when mingyu asks if you want to come over to his place, you tell him you’re feeling sleepy. and for once, you actually sleep after telling him that.

sleep is not as much of a comfort as you’d hope for it to be: less of an escape, more jeonghan-themed content. something about heartbreak and living the rest of your life, lovelessly.

—

the next week starts off hectic and you’re thankful for it this once. you could use the chaos of organizing an event to take your mind off things. a small part of you wonders if jeonghan was being merciful by letting you down and timing it so well. knowing him, that doesn’t seem so impossible.

you feel better than you’d imagined you would. you cried like once since the rejection. you didn’t need to worry much at this point, having realizing that it was less important that you’d made it out to be. mingyu, on the other hand, doesn’t give up his worrying, especially when he doesn’t see you until three days into the week. and that, too, because he gave up and thought it would be a good idea to invade your room, at one in the night.

his knocking wakes you up fairly quickly, since you’d only put your phone down a few minutes ago. you rush to the door, afraid of waking kazuha up. “what the fuck, mingyu?” you ask at the sight of him.

“what the fuck yourself! stop ignoring my messages maybe?”

you groan, stepping outside your room, feeling the cold air hit you in your night clothes. “why’d you have to confront me so late at night? can we do this tomorrow? when i’m coherent and not half-naked?”

mingyu falter as if he just realized the time, noticing your tank top and shorts. “i don’t care. i’ll give you my jacket but we’re doing this right here and right now.”

you sigh, knowing this was coming. “forget it, keep your jacket. i’ll go change and be right back.”

mingyu grabs your arm when you try to go back inside, “how do i know you’re not just gonna leave me here to die?”

“dude, my room’s right here. you can come watch me change if you fucking want.”

he lets you go, flustered when you offer and you laugh as you rush back in. in the darkness, kazuha’s voice startles you, “y/n? is everything okay? are you being abducted?”

“oh god, zuha, you scared me. and no, it’s just stupid little mingyu who wants to have a talk. i’ll settle this. go back to sleep.”

she groans, “god, you guys are just like my parents sometimes.”

you laugh at that as you slip into a hoodie and exchange your shorts for pajamas. when you return, mingyu’s sitting at the stairs in front of your room and you hit him in the back.

“ouch! fuck you!” he stands up with a glare, “also i heard what you said about me. why am i stupid and little? can you just choose one insult?"

“let’s go down if we’re gonna argue. zuha can hear us, too. and did you hear what she said after that?” when he seems clueless, you go on, “she said we remind her of her parents sometimes.”

he coughs, “her parents?? what are we, married?”

you roll your eyes, “married and sick of each other, apparently.”

“being zuha’s parents doesn’t sound so bad honestly. she’d be the easiest child to raise.”

“i feel like zuha would raise you if you were her father,” you laugh, “me too, probably.”

“who’d be the father then?”

your smile falls when an answer occurs to you, you mumble, “jeonghan,” sitting at a bench outside your dorm. mingyu joins you, equally solemn now.

“did something happen between you two?”

“yeah. he rejected me when we went shopping that day.”

mingyu’s eyes widen, “what? you confessed?”

you shake your head, a strained smile, “he already knew. i guess i was obvious, but it’s still driving me insane that he rejected me without even giving me a chance to confess.”

“i can’t believe he did that. that’s conceited as fuck.”

“conceited or impressive, i can’t decide. but he told me likes kazuha and that he’s sorry. i genuinely wanted to die when he said that. he was cool about breaking my heart, too. lowkey fell a little harder for him.” you laugh at your own joke, but mingyu looks unhappy, jaw clenched like he’d tasted something bitter.

you hit his arm, “it’s not a big deal, dude. i was thinking about it the past few days and i realized i barely knew the guy. i just knew what he told me over the last year.”

after a pause, “and he’s one beautiful man, so there was that.” you smile a little.

“but he didn’t have to do it like that. he could just stop flirting with you, you know, or wait for you to come around and confess like a normal person,” mingyu says, “he’s such a little jerk.”

“hey, it’s okay, a little flirting didn’t hurt anyone.”

“yeah but he was leading you on, leaving you in ambiguity by doing that. he should’ve been flirting with kazuha, not you.”

“okay, now that’s starting to hurt,” you whine, pressing your forehead against his shoulder, “but i can’t really blame him, no? kazuha’s so precious.”

“don’t be like that, y/n.”

“what? be like what?” you look up, “didn’t you also used to be into kazuha?”

mingyu bites his lip when you bring his years-old crush up, “when will you forget about that? that was so long ago and it was barely serious. she’s too nice to be my type.” (what does that even mean? you wonder but don't have the time to ask.)

“sure, you didn’t want to change residence halls to be closer to her?”

“alright, how many times do i tell you that i did that because of you? why do you never believe me?”

“it just makes more sense the other way,” you mumble, suddenly feeling teary-eyed and hating that you were feeling teary-eyed, which only intensified the teariness in your eyes. “god, this is stupid.”

mingyu’s arm is around in no time when he notices you curling up, your lip tucked between your lips in anticipation, “hey, hey, c'mon, i thought you said it wasn't a big deal. so how come you're crying?"

“because! i feel lame. and because kazuha’s perfect, by the way. she’d probably cry too if she knew i was crying.”

he pulls you closer, “you’re not lame, y/n. you think i’d keep you around so long if i didn’t think you were insanely cool?”

you breathe through your tears, “you just keep me around because i’m insane?”

“insanely cool! open your ears, idiot.”

“you just called me an idiot. idiots are pretty lame.”

he sighs when he feels his tshirt get damper, your body so weak under his hold. he pats your hair softly, “sorry, that’s not what i meant. but seriously, y/n, you know i’m bad at saying this stuff but i seriously cannot stress enough how highly i think of you.” his hand moves to rub your back, “and you’re so much more than perfect, you know? like sometimes you don’t do a paper till three hours before and still get an A. and then, you come up with comebacks to my arguments in your own unique ways, and trust me, nobody can argue with me like you do.”

you pull away, “all right, now you’re embarrassing me. why do i sound like a bossy nerd or something?”

“you can be that at times. hey, but you forgot the part where you’re hot as shit. and also pretty.”

“i feel like that last part was an afterthought, mingyu,” you bite back a laugh, “you really only keep me around for my tits, don’t you?”

“dude, can you let me wholesome for once? i’m trying to console you, so would you stop playing devil’s advocate?”

“sorry, i’m just,” you hesitate with a heavy sigh and then, you blurt out, "i’m scared i’ll never fall in love. i’ll never find it at all.”

“now that’s some stupid thoughts you’re having,” mingyu shakes you by the shoulders, “you’ve just been blinded by your crush on jeonghan for so long that you haven’t explored anyone else at all.”

“are you volunteering to be my crush right now?” you ask, jokingly.

mingyu’s smirk catches you off-guard, “what if i am? it wouldn’t be the worst thing if i was your boyfriend.”

you feel yourself heating up a little for some reason, head in a daze from his earlier shower of compliments and now this. so instead of trying to make sense of it all, you press yourself into him in a hug. “yeah, it wouldn’t.”

—

“hoshi, you little shit!” you throw yourself around the guy when you spot him on the night of the flea market, the product of a long and actually insane week. he laughs when he realizes it’s you, pulling you into a hug, “bro, y/n, why is this my first time seeing in you in literal years?”

“i don’t know, i just kinda see you walking around sometimes. maybe if you actually showed up to econ class, i’d see you more.”

hoshi flinches, “you can’t be bringing econ up right now. that class is kicking my ass. i can’t keep showing up to that kind of humiliation.”

the two of you catch up at last, as people swarm around the different stalls set up along the college street. you were relieved after having finished this damn event. cheers to sleep, right?

hoshi tells you all about his new situationship with a guy in another class and how he’s regretting inviting him to the party tomorrow night. “why? believe it or not, people are more fun when drunk.”

hoshi rolls his eyes, “yeah, well, i couldn’t get any more fun. so instead i become incontrollable. an absolute animal.”

“right, i remember that. so you’re scared you’re gonna drive him off? i wouldn’t worry honestly. and if you want, i can keep you in check.”

he narrows his eyes in distrust, “you? you’re not much better than me drunk, okay? i feel bad for mingyu who’s gonna have to take care of you the whole time.”

you gasp, “wow, you’re taking mingyu’s side now? over mine? i thought we had something special.”

“you thought wrong,” comes mingyu out of nowhere, slinging his arm around hoshi’s shoulders.

“why are you here suddenly?” hoshi looks between the two of you, “i couldn’t not come to an event my lovely y/n herself planned, could i?”

hoshi laughs, “nice to see you two as jolly as ever. but also i must take your leave. i gotta go grab dinner soon.”

“hey, why don’t you come with us? we were gonna check out the new outlet the college opened.”

“oh, i would love to but i have plans with someone already.”

you nod your head in realization, “right of course, have fun. not too much, though. leave some for tomorrow.” he leaves with a full-toothed smile and you face mingyu.

he playfully pinches your cheek, “you confront him about missing us yet?”

you raise a shoulder in response, and as the flea market starts to fizzle out thanks to the darkening sky, your stomach grumbles. “let’s eat, please.”

ever since that night— you don’t want to say anything had changed between you and mingyu because your friendship had been long enough that even the slightest shift in dynamics would harmoniously just become the new status quo; the two of you had been through a lot together. but ever since that night, you’d been fooling around with him more, if that was possible.

it was along the lines of: less banter, more flirting? although one might argue that the former was just a derivative of the other. but semantics aside, this is what you know to be true: friends flirt with each other all the damn time.

that’s what you’re telling yourself when mingyu asks you to feed him some of the fried rice you’d gotten on your plate. and it was true: you’re almost a 100% certain that you’d flirted with every friend of yours, and that was just how it worked.

but intimacy came differently to everyone and mingyu’s just manifested in clinginess. he was pressed to your side for the entirety of dinner, and you couldn’t complain about the proximity. it was welcome, even, this form of friendship.

“you’re thinking too hard.” mingyu’s voice pulls you out of your little reflection session. “what’re you even thinking about? you should be all burnt out from all the work you did this past week.”

“i am,” you affirm, “but some things just don’t let up.”

he chuckles, patting your head affectionately as if to persuade your thoughts to let up for a while. it doesn’t help really, only gravitating the direction of the said thoughts toward kim mingyu even more.

“maybe repetition isn’t as bad as i always make it out to be,” you say, chin propped up against your fist on the table. mingyu had chosen a corner table of the newly opened eatery, next to a low window that glowed behind you in the remains of sunset as he shifted to completely face you. the sun had finally set. again.

“you’re right. routine is good for people.”

“but it doesn’t have to stay the same forever, you know?”

“hm?” mingyu can’t help but feel like you’re edging toward some underlying topic. you were like this since he could remember: you’d start off with some abstract and vaguely relevant concept (that had no doubt been plaguing you for a long time) and slowly circle around till he caught onto what you meant. you love playing games with him.

“repetition doesn't have to be redundant? i think there's something more subtle about it.”

he doesn’t know where you’re going with this, “but repetition is literally the same thing over and over?”

“yeah, but the ‘same thing’ itself can evolve,” your fingers knock against his, “i don’t know, i was just thinking about… us.”

“us? i guess we would be a good example of repetition.”

your gaze falls from his to find your hand instead, your fingers wrapping around his wrist until you’ve forced his palm open. his hand in your lap upside down, you pull at the fingers, “yeah, but we’ve changed a lot. for one, we fight a lot less. sometimes when i’m going to tell you a thought, you understand mid-sentence what i mean.”

“yeah, well, that’s what we get for knowing each that long. but really, what’s this about, y/n?” he captures your hand in his expertly, pulling your attention back to his face.

“do you ever think we should be more?”

mingyu breathes a laugh at that, a shiver running down his spine when he spots the solemn look on your face. and then, his smile turns grave. “y/n, we’ve talked about this before, haven’t we?”

“have we? every time i’m the one who brings it up and you kinda just shrug it off. no, don’t even try to argue with me. you shrug the serious stuff off. always.”

it’s true, mingyu admits in defeat, mind racing as he considers why you’re bringing this up now. the answer is easy: you were finally available. but he doesn’t say it out loud, like he never does. you’d confronted him about the state of your friendship before, unafraid to wonder out loud what it would be like if you started dating. you’ve received all forms of shut-downs from mingyu before so you figured you were the only one in an ambiguous place about your feelings for him.

if someone was to ask if you like mingyu, you’d probably say yes, but it’s more than that. you know better than to blindly fall for him. witnessing him in his relationships before, you know he can be ruthlessly cold to his partner once he’s out of love. you practice romantic love for mingyu: carefully because too much would definitely be dangerous.

“i have my reasons, y/n.” there it is. the strict mingyu. the rigidity in setting his boundaries was something you admired and aspired for when he exhibited it in the past. right now, you want to punch him.

you’re without a filter with him so it’s unfair when he treats you like this. you let him know as much: “i want to punch you right now. i’ve hidden nothing from you, and yet, there’s this wall you keep yourself behind. is this really one-sided?”

mingyu doesn’t know what to do with you right now, “y/n, why are you—”

“no, because it's not like i can't take a hint. so one minute you're flirting with me and then, you push me away like right now,” you point to his estranged fingers, “but then you act like nothing happened and go right back to being all intimate and touchy.”

“i just…” mingyu lets out an exasperated sigh, “i just don’t see the reason for labels. why do we have force ourselves into a restriction like that? we’ve always been above conforming.”

it’s your turn to sigh heavy enough your head hits the wall behind you. wasn’t this just his way of friend-zoning you back into silence? you’ve always been too embarrassed to push him this far because you don’t mean to hurt him. but you feel as though you’ve hurt yourself long enough now.

“so why’d you say that the other night? that it would be nice if you were my boyfriend?”

this leaves him speechless for a few beats and you continue, “that was just because i was heartbroken from jeonghan? you’re playing prince charming for me so i can go back to being your trusty little best friend?”

“y/n, you know that’s not true. i’m not playing anything in your life. i’m just being myself.”

you scoff, “you really are so fucking—”

“why are we actually fighting right now?” mingyu asks through an incredulous laugh, “this is actually so petty, dude, let’s stop. you know i love you, right?”

mingyu’s last resort makes its presence: a non-committal i love you. because at the end of the day, you’re still best friends. what was a little ‘i love you’ in today’s economy? nothing. especially when you’d hear him throw the phrase around all the time.

you stand up in defeat, “fine, let’s stop. you win.” you gesture for him to move to the side and he does so reluctantly when you glare at him like you’re genuinely mad. (you are.)

he follows you out the door, catching your elbow to slow you down. “don’t be like this. i know you’re mad at me.”

“i’m not mad. i'm tired and i just want to go back to my room,” you seethe, walking faster than him. he grabs hold of your shoulder turning you around.

“if you’re gonna storm off, at least go the right way.” you huff softly and let him steer you the right way to your dorm, hands still on you. you spend the way to the front of your room silently, waiting for mingyu to say something but he just does what he does best: take care of you.

as you reach the door of your room, he pauses, apologetic smile on display. “listen, let’s talk more tomorrow? get some sleep.” he reaches for your hair, tenderly running his fingers through the locks. there it is: the soft mingyu, his eyes wide as he stares you down for signs of stress.

his warm arm pressed againsts yours, you realize you don’t want him to just leave. you know the drill: tomorrow morning, he’ll text you to meet for lunch and everything will go back to being unsaid. maybe he’ll bring along seungcheol so you don’t bring anything up again. either way, it’ll be so natural you’ll think nothing ever happened. but you want something to happen.

so your hand settles around his bicep to hold on and partly to keep him in place. you lean in, “let me do one last thing and if you want to stop, i’m never bringing this up again. i promise.”

you don’t give mingyu a moment to react to your words and instead raise yourself up to his level, other hand on his chest, and press your lips to his. you kiss mingyu after the thirteen years that you’ve known him and the ten that you’ve wanted to. you counted the years just as you count the seconds that it takes for him to come to his senses and pull himself away.

he looks less upset than you imagined: more dazed. like he can’t believe what you’ve done. he looks at you with his lips parted and you have to tear your gaze apart, lest you should tear yourself apart with longing.

“y/n, i…” he looks away and that’s enough evidence you need. you step away from him, your easy smile back in its place, not before you pat his arm as it falls from you.

“it's okay. i understand. let’s be friends, mingyu,” you declare suddenly, catching him off-guard. you'd pulled all the stops and if he genuinely was uncomfortable with pushing the line between platonic and romantic, you would respect that.

he begins to say something but you don’t want to hear him speak, at least not right now when the sound of blood rushing to your head is the loudest it's ever been, and you certainly don’t want to falter again. you’ve decided. “good night."

—

mingyu should feel relieved. he really should be happy that you’re back to normal around him, friendly and playful like you’ve always been. he should count his blessings that you’ve accepted the status of your relationship with him as it is. but as he falls asleep that night, all that comes to his mind is the smile you’d sported as you asked to be friends.

it was all wrong: your lips against his, that was something of his dreams, not a reality he has to be escaping from. it replays in his head, your scent that he’d caught a whiff of now and then, whenever you’d wrap your arms around him. the heat of your skin he’d rationalize as the comforting presence of a friend for days later.

he’ll soon come to know how insanely stupid he’s being right now but until you knock some sense into him, he simply plays along with a sting he hides pretty well. he should, he’s been doing it for years now.

it’s the night of hoshi’s party already and he’s walking over to the location of the pregame, alone because according to a text fifteen minutes ago, you’re still not ready. you’d invited yunjin and some other friends to your and kazuha’s abode to apparently make the process easier, but if mingyu knows anything about the group, you’ve probably spent more time selecting the right song to play than get ready.

the door to dino and hoshi’s shared residence is already open as he strolls in, finding a group already on the floor, taking shots. he makes eye contact with jeonghan who beckons him closer and mingyu takes a seat next to him.

space is scarce so mingyu finds his arm pressed uncomfortably close to jeonghan’s, who oohs at mingyu’s fit, “ooh, you look positively sexy.”

mingyu grimaces, “do you have to put it like that?” he does look … positively sexy, mingyu admits, in the navy blue shirt he wore but— and here’s the punchline— with the buttons undone all the way to right above his navel.

“where’s y/n, by the way?” jeonghan asks, an eye at the entrance as he slides a shot glass toward mingyu. the question irks mingyu for obvious reasons and he keeps him waiting for a minute, waiting to down the liquid in glass (vodka unfortunately for his throat) to answer him. “um, she’s still getting ready. any minute now.”

“ha, that means she’ll be another ten. that’s a shame, i was hoping to pour her first shot.” jeonghan shrugs resentfully.

maybe the alcohol’s working faster since it’s been a while for mingyu, but his mouth runs faster than his head, “why’d you care? i thought you asked kazuha out a while ago.”

jeonghan raises a brow at that, “hmm. i did. but things did not work out so well. what with kazuha feeling guilty about y/n and… well, i also…”

“feel guilty?” mingyu asks, voice strained. he’s annoyed at having to listen to jeonghan’s side of the story. he could not care less about humanizing him and whatnot. he’s watched you suffer for far too long to be empathetic right now.

“yeah. and i thought i might like y/n, too, after all.” jeonghan says it so casually as if discussing his performance in a particularly challenging college course, not his feelings for a person who he’d recently rejected.

the word might pierces mingyu’s ears. the uncertainty behind it is in such stark contrast to his own… feelings toward you that he genuinely feels his breath heat up.

or maybe that’s just jeonghan when he leans over to refill his glass. “drink up, buddy.” mingyu’s just about ready to make a scene right now, shoving jeonghan’s hand off his back but suddenly jeonghan’s standing up, making his way to—

you. you’re here.

almost as soon as he catches sight of you, he looks away, pretending to give the vodka in his hand all the attention in the world, as he puts his lips to it and empties it. head is now light. that’s probably enough for now, he decides as he puts his glass down.

when he looks back up, you’re at the kitchen counter with yunjin and kazuha.. and jeonghan, who’s grinning as he hands out the bottles of fireball to the group, no doubt marketing it so convincingly that you’d think you came up with the idea yourself.

mingyu shoots to his feet, regretting it when his vision darkens but he pushes past, eyes focused on your figure— god, he forgot how hot you look in that dress. he tries to keep his thoughts in check as he approaches you, but it doesn’t help that your makeup’s even more meticulous than usual, eyes glittering and lips delightfully glossy.

he breaks into the space between you and jeonghan, arm against yours, catching your attention.

“my guy!!” you exclaim when you see him and then your eyes trail down to his chest and then back up to his face where his hair sits parted with the help of some gel. “you look like a slut. i love it.”

mingyu laughs, subjecting you to a similar once-over, “you’re one to talk.” your hair’s back in a bun of sorts, a rare occurrence because you seem to prefer have it around your face. he can’t help but pause at your exposed collarbones, the gold shadow you applied there earlier doing wonders to his already dazed headspace.

“is it already that part of the night where mingyu starts hitting on everyone?” yunjin complains, reserving the alternate version of her question (something along the lines of how impolitely he’d been eye-fucking you in front of everyone) for some other time as she nudges you to open the fireball in your hands.

you do so, looking at jeonghan who offers one to mingyu, which he refuses as he leans against the counter, hand silently at your back just in case. “you’re not drinking?” you ask, quietly enough only for the two of you, just in case he wasn’t comfortable sharing.

“nah, i just had two shots of vodka back there. trying not to mix for the sake of me tomorrow,” he mutters, patting your back encouragingly, “but let me know if you need help finishing that.”

jeonghan eyes mingyu on the side as the trio clink their bottles together and get to downing them. later, as things start picking up and more people make their way into the party, mingyu finds your arm. “do you want me to stay close by?” he frames the question in a way that you have an out, because he can tell that you’re still unhappy with him.

but you’re tipsy when your hand interlocks into his, “only if you’re going to dance like you mean it.”

the night goes better than you expect it to, especially since mingyu’s let loose for once. or perhaps… he’s always this carefree when drunk, palms kneading at your waist, keeping you close to his chest, which you try your best to not get too used to touching. he sure knows how to keep you on your toes (sometimes literally) even when wasted because you’re trying not to get too close. for you own sake.

that is until hoshi shows up beside you two, pulling you apart as he introduces you to a friend.. or a partner? you can’t hear in this state and just as you try to lean in closer to hear what he’s saying, you feel a presence at your shoulder, fingers poking you.

you turn to find jeonghan behind you, sloppy smile on his face as he screams something at you. you frown, asking him to repeat himself, hand on his bicep to steady yourself against the movement of the party.

“need to talk to you about something!” his words come at you, clearer. “right now?” you shout back, “what the fuck is it?” your body doesn’t want to stop moving so you groove against his side, and momentarily catching a glimpse mingyu’s heavy gaze on you. you almost completely stop then but jeonghan’s pulling you away, after him to a relatively emptier zone of the house.

you’re breathless, you realize, now that the spell of the music’s been broken. you rest against the damp wall behind you, uncaring as you look around for a liquid to quench your thirst. cunning as ever, jeonghan’s already handing you a plastic cup with a transparent liquid.

you narrow your eyes at him despite how wasted you are. “what’s this?”

he laughs, “i’m glad you’re vigilant as ever. this is water. cold. drink up.”

you comply, your throat throbbing ever so lesser after you’re done and you sigh in relief. “you might have broken my heart but you’re still an angel, jeonghan.”

“ahhh,” he exclaims joining your side against the wall. you frown when you take note of his fingers clasped together, almost fidgeting. yoon jeonghan, fidgety? that’s a first for you.

“actually, that’s what i wanted to talk to you about…”

when mingyu looks away from hoshi and his company to see if you were listening and when he finds out that you’re in fact in jeonghan’s embrace, he’s suddenly sober. and when your eyes find his for a moment, something in them changes and he calls out your name like a warning. but then jeonghan’s already leading you elsewhere.

mingyu wants to follow after you immediately but he realizes hoshi’s still talking to him. “hoshi, bro, can i find you in a while? i gotta make sure y/n’s okay.”

but hoshi stops him in his tracks, hand on his chest, “wait. please tell me you told her…?” he trails off uncertainly as mingyu catches on what he’s saying.

“i haven’t,” he admits, eyes still searching the crowd for you, “but i think it’s time that i do. only so much i can take.”

“that’s the spirit, man! okay, now go kiss y/n for me.” hoshi pushes mingyu with a start, not before the the latter shoots the man a glare and takes off in his search for you.

you’re still in that corner with jeonghan, who’s done narrating the past week’s revelations to you, all about his failed attempts with kazuha and his slow understanding of his real feelings about you. you’re far more unaffected that either of you was expecting, arms crossing in thought.

but then you say, “well, that’s fucking stupid. because i’ve realized i wasn’t as down bad for you as i once thought i was.” jeonghan’s smile falls a little with a disappointed sigh. “but,” you continue, “you know what i’m still curious about?”

when your hand creeps up jeonghan’s shoulder, he thinks he knows where you’re going with this. “i’ve wanted know if you’re really as good at kissing as everyone makes you out to be.” jeonghan’s already moving closer to you, enveloping your face in his hands, and his devilish grin’s spills out as his lips find your ear. “let’s find out?”

and that’s how mingyu finds you wrapped around jeonghan, making out like this was your last day living. and for a moment, he considers giving up and letting you have this. he even stops in his tracks in the crowd, his thoughts so easily drowned out by the music if he just lets go.

but his mind’s reeling when the sight of you kissing someone else just pushes him back a day ago when you were leaning up into him, soft breaths risking your lips against his and the way your body pressed into his just right. his feet move without a thought, then, shouldering through the bodies around the two in the corner.

you’re just pulling away from jeonghan to start to say something about how that wasn’t too bad when his body is lifted away from yours with an unannounced jerk. you gasp and then once again when mingyu’s face comes floating in front of yours.

“mingyu,” you breathe, unsteady from the series of events this past minute, “what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“what the fuck are you doing?!” he screams in your face, hands on both arms to keep you from moving. jeonghan’s walking to your side and you want to say something to apologize but you’re far too infuriated with the man in front of you to think.

“i don’t know! trying to get laid? finding happiness? love?!” you scream back with as much force. you call out jeonghan’s name, “i’m sorry. mingyu’s too drunk to—”

“jeonghan,” warns mingyu when the guy tries to break you free from his embrace, “can i have a minute with y/n.” it isn't a question.

jeonghan has the nerve to say, “maybe not. i wouldn’t leave you alone with her in this state.”

“oh, she’ll be just fine,” he replies and jeonghan simply looks at you for confirmation. but you’re still looking at mingyu, starting to tear up, head throbbing all at once. you stop fighting against his grip and mumble in defeat, “whatever.”

“if you’re going to lecture me about being bad, i don’t really want to hear it.” you’re back next to the kitchen counters with mingyu beside you. slowly, you sit yourself up on the surface, feeling exhausted. “i’ve heard it before.”

“no, that’s not what i’m doing. i just want you to stop and think clearly—”

you groan when you hear the beginnings of a typical you’ll regret this in the morning type talk, you slide off the counter and to your delight, you run into a guy holding up a can of beer for the taking. you’re quick to jump at it, grabbing it up from him and pulling the tab of the can open. just as you put the beer to your lips, ready to chug it, you feel it being pulled away, the next few moments occuring before you can comprehend anything.

suddenly you’re sitting back on the counter and your dress rides up when you feel mingyu push himself in between your legs. at first, you see his face close on yours and then the taste of beer meets your throat. no, it’s not just beer— it’s mingyu. his tongue spills onto yours, beer mixing with saliva and when you try to pull away, his hand at your neck tightens. you sit up straight and you feel his watch digging into your spine.

your head spins when you can finally breathe, inhaling only to cough out. heart in your throat, you look at mingyu in disbelief, “what the fuck!” but he’s already taking another sip of the beer and some of it slides down your throat into your dress, when his mouth finds yours again.

you’re weak in his arms, and the heat between your legs is only so rational. so you find yourself giving in and kissing him back when the liquid runs out, nails finding his scalp, earning you a deep groan that vibrates against your chest. that’s when he pulls away again, eyes finally meeting yours with an unprecedented intensity.

he leans in again, wet kiss against your cheek, followed by a grunted whisper of, “i love you so fucking much, y/n. it’s so hard to watch you run around with other men.”

you want to think you’re hearing things but mingyu doesn’t let you, another kiss right in the nape of your neck that sends shudders down your back. “i want to be yours so fucking bad. want to spoil you like you deserve.”

you swallow against the moan that rises in your throat, to pull mingyu’s face back to your eye-level, “then why aren’t you mine? why’d you push me away?” your voice breaks, betraying the pretense of indifference you try to prop up. his eyes soften, fingers brushing against your forehead.

his lips quiver and he sighs defeatedly. it’s a miracle you can hear him with all that noise around you. but you hear him clear as day against your hair when he finally says, “i’m scared. of loving you too much, of being too much. and i’m scared of losing you.”

mingyu’s imagined telling you these exact words before and how you’d react to them infinite times before but when you giggle into his collarbone, he pulls away with a blank look. your forehead is against his all over again and for the second time night you say, “that’s fucking stupid! if you were going to lose me, it would’ve happened a while ago.”

of all the things he’d imagine you saying in response, this was the simplest option, so unlike your usual overthinking self. maybe it’s the alcohol and adrenaline in your system speaking but mingyu somehow feels comforted, because maybe it really is that simple. it would’ve happened if it was going to. or maybe mingyu’s too drunk to make sense of it all right now.

so his lips are moving against yours once again, without warning, your breath all his when his arms tighten once against around you. you’re laugh grounds him enough to break away. you open your mouth to complain about the distance when mingyu’s back against your skin.

“shut the fuck up,” he groans, the command making you hotter than you’d like to admit. your legs close around his ass, pulling him closer and his hand slips across your boobs. the friction of his palm against the tight fabric of your dress makes you let out an undignified moan into mingyu.

that’s when he knows he needs to take you to somewhere more private for reasons more than one. you’re too lightheaded to move yourself so mingyu’s carrying out the house without a word anyone you two came with. it’s only when the cold air hits you that you realize you’re outside.

you struggle against mingyu until you're back on your feet and stop. “where are we going? i’m— do i know you, mister guy?” for a second, mingyu’s heart sinks when he wonders if you thought you were just making out with a stranger. then, you say, “i need to go back and find mingyu. gotta kiss him.”

ignoring the blush that colors his face, he grabs hold of your elbow, “i am mingyu, idiot. and we’re going to my room.” you shake your head to clear your vision, eyes widening when you recognize him. your hand finds his face with a light laugh, “ah! it’s my big guy.” the name doesn’t help mingyu’s condition at all, so he’s pulling you after him faster than before.

back at the party, kazuha starts panic when she realizes she’s lost hold of you, unable to locate you anywhere within the party. she tugs at yunjin’s sleeve who looks over in concern, “what happened to y/n? i can’t find her anywhere.” yunjin laughs at that, covering her mouth with her hand. “don’t worry about her. i saw her and mingyu leave together earlier. she’s probably in heaven by now, if i’m right.”

“hmm?” kazuha pauses as a thought pops up into her head, “wait… did they…?” yunjin grins knowingly, “yup. it really was high time they fucked.” the former lets out a satisfied giggle, “i know. they were so obvious without even being together. i was getting tired.”

“you were getting tired?!” you gasp at mingyu later in the night, panting against his pillow. you’re on your back and he throws you a tshirt of his to sleep in now that your dress is… demolished. you look at it sadly out of the corner of your eye. “i really liked that dress,” you whine, as he picks the remains of it up with a somewhat smug grin, “planned to wear it out again.”

“i couldn’t risk that. you looked too good in it,” he chuckles to himself as he jumps into bed with you. you sit up, feigning anger as you slip the cotton over your head, warming up when the smell of mingyu greets you. “i don’t know if i could resist seeing your tits out like that.”

you hit his chest hard with a lighthearted scoff, “i knew it! you’re such a pervert. not just a pervert, you’re also a brute.” you groan as you rub your thighs together gingerly. mingyu props himself up, pulling you down into a hug, rubbing your back. “sorry, does it hurt a lot?”

“it’ll hurt more in the morning,” you relax in his arms, pressing a loving kiss into his hair, “should’ve known you went so rough. asshole.” you giggle when he pulls away in disbelief at the last insult.

“how could you—!” you roll away from him, laughing. he shifts closer, caging you against the wall behind you, “hey, you can’t say stuff like fuck i knew you’d have a big dick and then expect me to go all vanilla! do you know what that does to a guy?”

you shriek in embarrassment, “don’t bring that up now!” your ears redden when mingyu forces you by the chin to look up at him. “besides, where do you think the nicknames like big gyu and big guy came from?”

mingyu’s jaw falls open at the revelation and you break out into a fit of laughter at his mindblown expression. “how- how long have you been thinking about my di-”

you hit him to stop him, “ever since you kept pushing me away,” you run a hand down his side, sly grin on your swollen lips, “and i had to come up with something if i wanted to get myself off alone.”

with an exasperated groan, he falls against you, suffocating you as his body goes limp above yours. you let out a gasp when you feel him hardening against your leg and he speaks into your neck, “you’re seriously telling me i’ve been missing out on taking you like this for… for how long now?”

you kiss his cheek, hand slipping down his boxers with a soft exhale, “a while. and if you hadn’t come to your senses today… well, i’d all but given up on you today. when jeonghan kissed me, i was just going to—”

suddenly your breath escapes you, mingyu’s hand around your throat and his lips on yours with a loud grunt. he stops your hand in its movements, “please tell me you’re not talking about jeonghan while— fuck!” he gasps when you bite his lower lip to protest his hand on yours. his hand gives way and you’re palming the tent in his boxers again, pushing him down against the bed, so thankful he doesn’t have a rooommate in times like this.

you place a kiss at the corner of his lips and trail down his chest, shirt long gone, before muttering, “forgive me?”

—

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

i really want to write a more wholesome ending but have not the time or energy right now, so i'll be back with a shorter spin-off/ epilogue of sorts about how you and mingyu as a couple work out, how your friends react, some skinship, etc.

anyway, this is my official announcement that i've become a baby carat :] didn't know how much i was missing out on before svt so this is very fun. so far, jeonghan's my favorite little guy, although as is clear from this... mingyu makes me do things. on the roster are: minghao and joshua. hopefully there will be more svt fics in the future. no promises <3 goodbye friends and foes!!

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corkinavoid · 19 days ago

Text

DPxDC Hogwarts AU [pt. 2]

The second time they meet, Tim actually knows a little more than nothing about him.

He knows Daniel is Vladimir Masters godson, set to inherit the man's title, and he knows that his birth parents are both wizards, albeit eccentric ones. No one would tell him how they are eccentric, not to mention why.

He knows the boy is a second child among the three, and his older sister is going to Hogwarts next year while his younger one had just turned five. And Daniel himself is seven, just like Tim, which means they will be in the same year eventually. He doesn't know whether he likes that or not.

He doesn't know nearly enough about him to form an opinion.

What he does know, though, is that he absolutely doesn't like Samantha Manson.

Mother had met Mr. and Mrs. Manson at that same party that Daniel kind of ruined (Father's words, not his, Tim thinks that elephant trunks were an improvement), and, upon finding out that they have a daughter Tim's age, decided they should be friends. Which is how Tim found himself sitting in an offensively pink room on an uncomfortably soft pink couch that is threatening to swallow him whole, right across a girl in a pink dress and with a pink bow in her hair. Granted, they are all different shades of pink, but Tim still feels very out of place in his black pants and pale blue shirt with a tight collar.

However, the most unsettling part about all this is that Samantha hadn't said a single word in about ten minutes - so, since they were left alone in this horror of a room by their respective mothers - and Tim is fairly certain she hadn't blinked once, and she is glaring something awful at Tim. For all that he knows, she is probably coming up with a detailed plan of burying his dead body in the garden.

Tim honestly tried to start a conversation. Twice. The girl looked like she didn't even notice, so Tim just kind of resigned to his fate and decided to simply wait until this was over.

He really regrets not bringing a book with him.

Another few minutes pass in silence, interrupted only by some cheerful chirping of birds outside. And then, right as Tim starts to actually consider flopping down on the soft pillows behind him and falling asleep, he hears a knock.

Samantha turns her head to the window so quickly that Tim is afraid her neck will snap. But, as he follows her example and looks outside, he can't help but blink in surprise.

Daniel Fenton, wearing some kind of red jacket with a hood - definitely muggle by the looks of it - is hovering just outside the window. On a broom. They are seven, they are not supposed to have brooms yet! Or, at least, not the ones that can go all the way up to the window on the second floor!

"Bloody finally," Samantha rolls her eyes and jumps off her seat, nearly running towards the window, "What took you so long?" She demands an answer in a snappish tone that allows no excuses.

Daniel grins and shrugs, "Jazz almost caught me sneaking out," he explains, but his gaze is not on Samantha. Instead, he is looking over her shoulder, right at Tim, before asking, "Who's that?"

The girl turns around and scowls, "A boy that my Mum wants me to marry."

Tim sputters, feeling his cheeks heat up, but not out of embarrassment; it's mostly just frustration. She most definitely does not, they are seven, and their mothers can't be making plans like that!

Can they?..

Daniel laughs, bringing the broom closer to the window and setting one foot on the widowsill for balance.

"I would have invited you with us, but I only have one broom," he tells Tim, still smiling. Tim bites his lip.

He wants to go with them so badly. They look like whatever they are about to do is going to be way more interesting than Tim's whole life. But Mother will probably be upset, and-

"Don't bother, he is boring," Samantha huffs dismissively as she pulls the skirt of her dress up and climbs out the window, carefully holding on to Daniel's shoulder as she gets on the broom behind him.

For some reason, that makes Tim angry.

He sticks his chin up higher, straightening up in his seat and frowning. "I don't see how your inevitable fall from a broom is interesting anyway," he drawls, far more mean and uncaring than he wanted to.

"See? Boring," Samantha smirks, but Daniel just looks a bit confused and thrown off.

"I'm not gonna fall," he tells Tim with a certainty that makes Tim kind of want to apologize. But the girl behind him is still smiling like she won something, and Tim is not about to back down now.

"Live with that illusion all you want," he huffs and turns away, still keeping his back straight.

"Come on, Danny, let's go," Samantha urges her friend impatiently, and Tim is decidedly not looking in that direction. He doesn't want either of them to see him pouting. Also, maybe he just doesn't want to see them fly away.

But he still hears a quiet "Bye," from the window before the room goes back to silence, interrupted only by the chirping birds and rustling leaves.

When, mere moments later, Tim looks back to the window, both of them are gone without a trace.

—☆—☆—☆—

Visuals!

The offensively pink room and the way to escape:

Tim's opinion on Sam:

[Picrew]

—☆—☆—☆—

More notes on the people and the world around:

Mansons are, actually, filthy rich. They are a wizarding family, but they are way less concerned about blood purity than people expect them to be. A part of their business involves muggle products, and while they don't advertise it, they don't try to hide it either. Jeremy never attended Hogwarts, he was a Beuxbatons student, and Pamela was a Slytherin. Both of them don't exactly like Danny for separate reasons, but Pam likes to keep Vlad as a friend, and if that means letting Sam be friends with his godson, then so be it. She still tries to keep their contact to a minimum, but it's not like Danny - or Sam, for that matter - cares.

Janet and Pamela did not, in fact, plan to marry their kids; they just liked each other enough to have tea together and decided to combine it with throwing their children at each other. Although Pam does consider Tim a fitting pair for her daughter. Janet is of a different opinion.

The broom Danny took actually belongs to Jack - or, it belonged to him a few years ago, up until Danny realized the kiddie broom is not fun anymore. Jazz is constantly scared he is going to fall and break his neck, but Maddie thinks her son is good enough of a flyer. Besides, even if they did take the broom from Danny, he would just find a different thing to break his neck with, so Maddie just put a bunch of disillusionment charms on the poor broom so Danny won't be noticed by muggles and called it a day.

This is very much not the first time Danny comes to save Sam like she's a maiden in a tower. Also, Sam is not mean out of nowhere, she just likes Danny and hates sharing, and she is seven.

[<- part 1 | part 3 ->]

#danny phantom #dpxdc #dc x dp #tim drake #sam manson #hp #hogwarts au #cork prompts #i have an idea of how to include danny's ghostliness in this #but be warned #it most likely wont make sense #also how are we feeling about fentons working for ministry?#im torn #also yes dani is here #and maybe dan as well but im not sure yet

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rightwheretheyleftme · 3 months ago

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I’m watching Korra book 2 and I have so many emotions about Aang’s neglect of his kids

After watching ATLA earlier this year, I started following a bunch of fan accounts and saw the same discourse regurgitated over and over again; One of the main points of discourse is whether Aang was bad father.

The discussions that I saw would always play out the same way. Aang’s detractors would say: “Aang didn’t take 2/3 of his kids on vacations. That’s neglect” and Aang’s defenders would reply “Aang is not a bad father! The places that he took Tenzin to were built for airbenders so Kya and Bumi wouldn’t have anything to do there!” And you know what? When I was reading those arguments, I thought that both sides had valid points and that this was a complex discussion.

Oh boy.

Now that I’m watching the episode, I realized that the people in this fandom are lying through their teeth. Aang only taking 1 out of his 3 kids on vacations is true, but the claim that that happened because Aang only visited places made for airbenders is completely false. Let’s recap the places that Aang and Tenzin went to:

- Kyoshi Island; to ride the elephant koi

- Ember Island; to build sandcastles on the beach

Now explain to me, why on earth does the majority of the fandom say that Aang went to airbender-only places? Kyoshi and Ember islands have 0 historical significance to the airbenders. These are just fun vacation spots, we know this because we saw the Gaang vacation at these places multiple times.

Moreover, according to Bumi, Aang was busy due to his job as the Avatar but he made time for Tenzin, only Tenzin. Kya agrees with this.

I’m so disgusted by this information. There is no way that a grown man in his 40s wouldn’t realize that taking only 1 of your kids on fun vacations and leaving the others behind is hurtful, the only possible conclusion that you can reach here is that Aang was intentionally trying to hurt his kids’ feelings.

And that breaks my heart.

This is not the Aang that I know and love. Aang is a fun, caring, accepting, and loving person. The behavior that I’ve described above is not only emotional neglect, it borders on abuse.

At first, I thought that maybe this storyline was meant to deconstrue the “The hero can do no wrong” cliché. Except that it ends with Kya and Bumi looking at a family picture and reminiscing about how happy they were. So no, there is no deconstruction; Aang is portrayed as a flawed but otherwise good father. Apparently, not loving 2/3 of your children enough to want to spend leisure time with them is a common flaw and not parental neglect, according to TLOK.

I feel so betrayed not only by the writers and the story that I love, but also by the fandom who silences victims of parental abuse when they are rightfully pissed off by Aang’s actions. I never wanted for Aang to be a neglectful father, but he is. Harassing people who are mad about his actions and calling them bitter Zutaras is a disgusting way to try to silence conversations about parental abuse.

Side note: Where tf was Katara while this was happening? Did she not take offense that her husband was neglecting 2/3 of her kids? Why didn’t Aang respect Katara enough to not play favorites with the kids she gave him?

#the legend of korra #anti bryke #tlok critical #anti tlok aang #katara deserved better #kya and bumi deserved better #anti kataang #I actually like the ship in ATLA but now it’s ruined 🙃

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starcurtain · 4 months ago

Note

What do you think Aventurine would be like as a boss?

Aventurine's first character story tells us that people both outside the IPC and internal to the Strategic Investment Department are explicitly racist toward him, so I would say first that I suspect Aventurine's team is much, much smaller than other Stonehearts like Topaz. For example, we constantly see Topaz's dumb "support squad" following her around in most of the events she shows up in, while we've never been introduced to a single "Aventurine support squad" member.

My suspicion is that, between the rampant racism and the undoubtedly common rumors about Aventurine's dangerous behavior, very few people are even willing to be put on his team in the first place. I suspect he's much more likely to be paired up with one or two "strategic partners" (like Ratio) and sent to handle things that way, rather than actually having a large group of underlings he directly supervises.

But just logistically speaking I'm sure he does have a few underlings, and I think... He's probably a very difficult person to work for, for a couple reasons:

He will almost certainly beat assholes to the punch. If a majority of the people who have been assigned to work with him don't want to be there, you can bet he's not going to wait around for new people to prove they are racist garbage. I imagine that, for the most part, he's off-putting and offensive to new people from the get-go. You ask which desk is yours and he just goes "Oh, feel free to set your things anywhere!" then turns around like: "Wowwww. Jim, this rookie is trying to steal the desk you've had for ten years! How inconsiderate our new friend is proving to be~!" New people on his team probably have the worst few weeks of their lives. (Because... If people are going to hate him on principle alone, he might as well give them a reason, right?) However, this has the effect of weeding out most of the people who are incapable of dealing with Aventurine's antics, so I imagine that the few who persevere through the hazing are probably genuinely decent folks. Those that make it past the initial "Let's see how much you hate Sigonians and disrespect me personally" vibe check probably end up on Aventurine's good side, and I think he eventually eases off his newbies after a while. (Not before they've proven their exceedingly high tolerance for shenanigans and even higher ceiling for shock factor, though. If a new employee makes it past the first month of working for Aventurine, literally nothing else will ever phase them. An elephant-sized Warp Trotter could warp them all six galaxies over and they'd just be like "Anyone got a working cell? I need to tell my babysitter I won't be back by 9.")

I think he's just never there. Absentee boss in the extreme. It's not that he ever slacks or doesn't do the work--it's just that he's constantly going off and doing the missions all on his own. It doesn't matter how many times the higher-ups assign him to do a team task, tell him he has to take the full squad... He just scampers off and does the deal entirely on his own, comes back covered in blood, and is like "Hey guys, I took care of the problem; enjoy some comp time on me!" I don't think he drags his average-level underlings into his dangerous gambles; I think he just does all the work with their clients by himself or with a high-caliber partner. You would think this would make him a great boss to work for, but I implore to put yourself in such an employee's shoes: You go into the office every morning only to see your to-do list is empty. Your boss isn't there to give you any new direction. After twiddling your thumbs for four hours, you find out the reason he isn't in the office this morning is that he's recovering from betting he could take an entire pack of Borisin in a fist fight. He's not in the hospital because of the fight (which he won). He's in the hospital because he was then promptly shot in the back by the guy he was betting with. Why is your life like this? Why must you be subjected to the soap opera of your boss's own self-destructive spiral?

Even when he's around, he's probably weirdly awkward. Don't get me wrong, I bet when he's in a good mood he throws all kinds of extravagant parties in the office, and his employees would never lack for bonuses and perks. But I think he has never really bothered to learn--or perhaps simply does not care--about normal managerial behaviors and boundaries. Like, you slip up and tell him your mother-in-law is in the hospital. He comes back five minutes later to tell you he's just bought six bouquets (sent from your address), commissioned a personally embossed card for her with your monogram, and contracted the services of the best-reviewed individualized medical team in Pier Point under your name. He's patting himself on the back for being an incredibly thoughtful boss. You don't know how to tell him that you haven't spoken to your mother-in-law in years, not since her last attempt to poison you. Every six months he buys the whole team new cars. You have no idea what to do with all these cars. It's too many cars. Put some cars back. He calls everyone his "friend," but even after working for him for years, you still have absolutely no idea about his likes, dislikes, or hobbies outside of the IPC. You could not name his favorite food if someone put a gun to your head. Does he exist outside of the workplace? You literally can't imagine him anywhere but on a mission or at a poker table. He's constantly bringing an "I am the party!" vibe to the room, but everyone else is a bored 8-5 worker who doesn't have a drop of enthusiasm left in their veins. It's like when a singer asks the audience to cheer along with a song, but nobody in the audience makes a peep. Absolutely no one in the IPC cubicles can match his particular freak. Aventurine's a smooth-talker and a street-smart cookie for sure, but something about the way his smile looks like it's made out of plastic when anyone tries to engage him in chitchat at the water cooler gives you the vague impression that he's probably never had an actual friend in his life. If "uncanny valley" was a vibe a workplace could have, Aventurine's office would have it.

Long story longer, I think Aventurine has very few people willing to tolerate him as a boss, whether because they are racist or simply because his quirks are just too quirky. However, I like to imagine the few who have hung in there are ride or die. You know they have an "Aventurine Protection Squad" group chat. They probably all wear peacock-teal and gold accessories in solidarity. They have definitely disappeared people for talking shit on their boss before. Aventurine has no idea how much they actually like him.

#honkai star rail #aventurine #character analysis #honkai star rail headcanons #aventurine headcanons #aventurine as a boss #is just like not having a boss at all #except when it comes time for performance reviews #and instead of putting in valid paperwork #he just gives you solid gold bars #“only three and a half bars this quarter Eliza; might want to pick up the slack”#also #I got a really interesting asks about my thoughts on Ratiorine #but they're kind of complicated #so it will take me a bit more time to answer those

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newnitz · 9 months ago

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I don't really see people talking about how cultural Christianity is applied to Jews.

In Christianity, Jews are the people who rejected and betrayed Jesus and are punished with statelessness and destitution, whose only redemption is accepting the Messiah and the Son of God. This is the basis of several antisemitic tropes, most prominently deception, religious supercessionism and the Wandering Jew.

In cultural Christianity, these tropes are considered tenants of Judaism rather than Christianity, as Judaism is considered Christianity without Jesus.

Christians see themselves as tortured saints, persecuted for spreading the truth of Jesus and God across the globe. Missionaries who go to non-Christian lands to try and get the people to convert by fearmongering with damnation to Hell see themselves as victims when they're rebuffed and asked to stop.

Cultural Christian non-Christians are usually atheists and adherents of folk religion revivalist movements who have suffered religious abuse, as many sects of Christianity normalize emotional abuse by instilling inherent guilt in the Original Sin and even physical abuse in "Spare the rod; spoil the child". These cultural Christians see the millennia of antisemitism and roll their eyes, to them we're just another sect of delusional religious people with a persecution complex.

To become a Christian all you need to do is accept the Father Son and Holy Spirit, to affirm your beliefs and confess your sins. To become a Jew you are either born a Jew, or you learn the Jewish culture and religion for months on end and must live half a year under the strictest restrictions of the Jewish lifestyle to show commitment. That is the difference between a universal religion and an ethnoreligion.

In a Culturally Christian world there is no room for ethnoreligions, and they do not exist. All religions are about your faith and which God(s) you believe in. So in a Cultural Christian's eyes, a country of Jews is a country that holds one faith supreme above all others and conditions rights with conversion, as that's how Christian countries have historically been.

Christianity's common ground with Jews comes from the Roman Empire appropriating the religion from the Cult of Jesus, and making it more appealing to the masses by introducing Greco-Roman and Germanic folk religion aspects into it. Xmas is Yule but with Jesus, Easter is a fertility holiday but with Jesus and so on. In the eyes of the Cultural Christian, Christianity and Judaism are two once-antagonistic sects of the same religion, no different than Catholics and Protestants.

Cultural Christianity erases and appropriates Judaism and is as inherently hateful of Jews as religious Christianity.

Now, when it comes to the elephant in the room: Islam.

Islam, like Christianity, is a universal religion. You must believe in Allah and accept the prophets, which include both Jesus and Muhammad. It is no more inherently violent than Christianity, though it's no less. In the Christian's eyes, Islam is the competitor, the enemy. The Muslims conquered Christian lands and converted them, and they've fought holy wars against one another throughout the Middle Ages.

To become a Muslim the Cultural Christian doesn't need to unlearn any of the core tenets of their culture. They can simply apply it to Islam.

Which is why many Cultural Christians, damaged by Christianity, are sympathetic to Islam. And since Muslims and Jews are no longer on good terms, they use this sympathy to give themselves a free pass to be antisemitic. Whether Muslims check their converts for bigotry, allow it or are powerless to stop them, that's another issue.

Jews are not diet Christians. We have less in common with you than you have with Muslims. Unlearn Christian cultural appropriation.

And no, I don't care that it's "offensive" to associate you with Christianity due to the religious abuse you endured. You still see the world through a Christian lens.

#cultural christianity #christian supremacy #Christian imperialism #religious supercessionism #wandering jew #wandering Jew trope #christian antisemitism #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism

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ltlemonpop · 2 months ago

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MARTYN X THE CREAKING

This is an idea I have had kicking around in my head since like double life. The idea of Martyn being a life/nature/tree spirit has always appealed to me, but I never had an 100% idea of how this would manifest. Then two years later Minecraft came out with a creepy tree mob and inspiration struck me like a lightning bolt

Personally I think the creaking as martyns Mob (tm) is perfect because he is in the little wood. Like I can’t imagine anything more perfect for him than the creaking.

Alright time to get into the design…

The design

To address the elephant in the room, why martyns hair is long. Okay the real reason is just because I like drawing martyn with long hair, BUT THERE IS ALSO A LORE REASON!!!

So I think Martyn could transform back and forth from his normal form into the creaking form. But this requires growing the bark and branches directly out of his body, which he can do on command. But this process also makes his hair grow as well, which is really inconvenient for him. His hair can get incredibly long if he doesn’t pay attention when he’s transforming, so he either chops it all off, or ties his hair back out of his face with his headband.

The branches growing out of his back, the operate as Spider-Man’s instant kill mode appendages. Extra bladed limbs that can be used to move and attack. This are for pure offense and don’t serve much purpose outside of combat.

Honestly I could ramble about this for ages but I think this is enough for now. If anyone has any questions I would love to ramble about this.

@inthelittlewood (because I’m very proud of this concept and I think he might like the idea of him and the creaking)

And

@cherrifire (because you are the official martyn fanartist)

#ltlemonpop #my art #inthelittlewood #martyn itlw #itlwblr #martyn inthelittlewood #wildlife #wild life smp #mcytblr #trafficblr #the creaking #minecraft creaking

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sealsdaily · 10 months ago

Note

what are the different kinds of seals im curious

There are many different ways to categorize seals/pinnipeds, but we'll be focusing on the most integral to Seal Gameplay.

There are three families in your cast of playable characters: earless or "true" seals, eared seals, and walrus. These are then further split up in subfamilies, tribes, and genera. I'll sum up a brief overview of each subfamily's character class and the species within.

Phocinae: DEFENSIVE SUPPORT

These are the most common earlygame party members, and their support for the DPS can make or break a playthrough. You start the game with a Harbor seal along with your first party member, it needs no introduction. Some of these also splinter off into healing as well, but the Baikal seal also has an offensive supporter edge to it as its massive Perception stat lets it easily expose enemies' weak points and lower defenses. The Ringed and Ribbon seals are also very popular picks, they're simple but very effective at raising stats (ringed raises speed, ribbon attack)

Monachinae: DPS / ATTACKER

The bread and butter of any pinniped party. There's not much i can say about DPS seals, they do big damage! The most popular of these, of course, is the Leopard seal: It's a late-game add, but very worthwhile as it has the highest base attack stat, with good HP. Elephant seals are also a popular pick and synergize well with many fur seal species. Monk seals also have some support qualities, but it seems they're not used that often.

Otariinae: HEALING

Sea lions tend to range on a spectrum of focuses on either all-in-one healing or over-time healing. It's not as picked, but i often use an Australian sea lion in my party compositions for the over time healing, since it works really well with Spotted seals' shielding and DEF mechanics (walruses as well). Overall though, a Steller sea lion can work with mostly any party due to its simplicity.

Arctocephalinae: OFFENSIVE SUPPORT

You wouldn't believe just how much offensive status effects a fur seal can have up its theoretical sleeve. There are many subcategories under this character class such as focus on STUNs, enemy vulnerabilities, DMG over time, etc. Guadalupe fur seals especially are a hot topic: a lot of newbies tend to get intimidated by their risky and RNG-reliant strategies, but the more i've used them the more i can say they can absolutely be worth the risk.

Walruses: TANKING

Walruses are the only species in the Odobenidae family, so if you want a reliable tank there's just one pick. For what it's worth i don't really use tanks but i can definitely see the appeal in their shielding and DEF stats. They're also the only species that can redirect damage from an ally onto them.

Hope this helps!

#If you were talking about stuff like taxonomy wikipedia has a lot of info on that!! E.G. the cladogram on the main page for pinnipeds #I just wanted to do a funny cause ive been doing a lot of RPG stuff lately #not daily #asks #mod ribbon

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hell-is-not-an-excuse · 2 months ago

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Helluva Boss versus Achillean Relationships || Chaxxie [1/3]

Let me preface this by saying that I know I'm not the first person to point this out, and I certainly won't be the last. However, it's something that's been tugging at me for a while now. That "something" of course, being the portrayal of MLM/achillean relationships within the Hellaverse, and how they're favoured over everything while bordering into the fetishistic.

I'm going to be the first to admit I have not watched the entirety of Hazbin Hotel. Hell, I made it to the first five or so minutes of the first episode before unceremoniously quitting around the "this body was made to be exploited" line. I'll have a separate post on that later, since my thoughts on that (and Angel Dust as a character, by extension) are long winded and not the focus of this particular post.

So, for today, I will be focusing on one of the three canon MLM ships within Helluva Boss specifically. For the purpose of this post series, I will only be including the ships that have two characters that are named within the series. This narrows us down to Chaxxie, Fizzozzie and Stolitz (which is not technically canon but is clearly endgame, unless the writers are waiting with bated breath to pull the rug out from underneath the audience).

This time I will be talking about Chaxxie, as it's the least touched-upon relationship in the show itself; not only because it's the only past relationship on this list, but it's also the only relationship that contains a one-off character. And yet, I found the lack of chemistry so offensively boring that I felt the need to make a whole post just about them.

So, Chaxxie. There's not a whole lot to talk about with their relationship, as all we get is just over a minute of backstory and a song that screams "unable to take no for an answer". I suppose I could also include their sham almost-wedding, but that comes off less as a shipping moment and more a plot beat, and thus will be disregarded. Even so, I apparently had way more to say about them and the implications of their relationship than I thought, so this post will be long.

Before that however, there's the obvious elephant in the room - Chaz and Millie. Despite being the ex of both Millie and Moxxie, we as the audience never get a perspective of what the relationship between Millie and Chaz even looked like. Not even a throwaway line from Millie herself. Given that Helluva Boss has suffered from a lack of precise characterising of its women up until this point, this is another glaring example to add to the long-suffering pattern.

But what about Moxxie? What do we get as the audience?

In the first of two flashback scenes, we're informed that Chaz and Moxxie meet during Moxxie's induction into the Knolastname crime family. They meet eyes, and Moxxie is charmed right off the bat.

This springboards us into four different instances of the supposed chemistry that these two share with one another, the first being a gunfight in which Moxxie and Chaz reach for the same grenade, with all the flirtation and blushing that could be fit into the few seconds allotted for this sequence.

From there, the sexual intensity ramps up in the next two shots before settling back down into a nude portrait scene reminiscent of Titanic.

In terms of learning about their relationship, we as the audience don't glean much from these scenes, other than the fact that they have an incredibly sexual dynamic. One could also infer that their relationship started as a secret given the request to not tell Crimson that Chaz was at the door in the signage scene, though this is never properly expanded on.

Now, before we venture into the second half of my Chaxxie critique, I want to make two things clear; there is nothing wrong with a couple having an incredibly active sex life. This is true for any pairing with consenting adults, be it Achillean, Sapphic or Hetero. This is something I will expand on momentarily. Second is that despite my griping of the overtly sexual nature of their relationship, I don't find these examples to be "too sexual". By all means, this is quite tame imagery, at least to me. I bring these examples up primarily to highlight that Chaxxie as a ship suffers from sacrificing chemistry for sexuality (whether that be in a manner meant to be comedic, or genuinely sexy).

Back to our flashbacks. In our second and final flashback scene, we are given the unceremonious ending to their relationship. In the midst of a heist, Moxxie is pinned and unable to escape the scene of the crime, as police sirens wail in the distance. Chaz, in a selfish move, makes a grab for the money and leaves Moxxie to the authorities, effectively ending their relationship. This is presented as a great heartbreak for Moxxie, but due to the issues highlighted above, this reveal falls flat.

Moxxie doesn't appear to struggle with feelings of self-worth in the romantic department; this is evident in the way he interacts with Millie, self-assured in his love for her and her love for him. One would think that if this relationship with Chaz was so important to him, that there would be some sort of foreshadowing or hints regarding the feelings or issues that would have been bound to have sprung up as a result of Chaz and his abandonment.

I will concede here, Moxxie not wanting to talk about his past is a fine enough example of why Chaz wouldn't come up in conversation prior to this episode. However, if we as the audience are meant to believe that this relationship was that important to him, it would have been nice to add a hint of abandonment issues to Moxxie as a character.

This could also have had a possible added effect of explaining why Moxxie isn't so quick to leave Blitzø or I.M.P despite his treatment - Blitzø and Loona may be awful to Moxxie, but at least they don't abandon him. At least Blitzø throws crumbs of praise his way. At least Loona comes along with Millie to rescue him and Blitzø from the D.H.O.R.K.S.

Unfortunately, we're still not done here with the Chaxxie scenes, as the biggest and most glaring issue with this ship as a whole comes in at around the fifteen minute mark.

I'll start with the least consequential of my critiques - This scene is just not funny. The punchlines essentially amount to sex, big dick, and the mounting discomfort that Moxxie feels while he repeatedly insists that Chaz leave him alone. There are ways to comedically write a character being uncomfortable with sex or sexual implications/situations. Blatant harassment is not one of them.

Speaking of blatant harassment, this is the moment that any semblance of this ship being worth my time fell apart. The writing is done using Chaxxie as a ham-fisted attempt at giving Moxxie further backstory (at the cost of Millie once again) and is now beginning to decline into the outright uncomfortable.

Even before he begins his song, Moxxie outright tells Chaz to leave. Of course, Chaz completely disregards his demands to be left alone, insisting that he knows exactly what Moxxie wants. This is a common line used by real life sexual abusers against their victims - and yes, though Chaz never actually forces himself onto Moxxie in an explicit manner, his following song is filled with unwanted touch and crude, overtly sexual language.

Look me in the eyes and tell me that Moxxie is enjoying this experience even remotely. He looks put off, alarmed, uncomfortable. And yet this scene is played for comedy, for some reason. This is not the first instance of Moxxie being sexually abused or harassed for comedy either. Even back in Season One, this poor guy was being used for the sort of joke that should have died out years ago.

Overall thoughts on Chaxxie and their contribution to MLM representation.

Do I think Chaz and Moxxie are good queer representation? The easy, fast answer is a resounding "No". Their relationship lacks any sort of depth in canon and looks to be just another vehicle for gay sex jokes, partnered with yet another excuse to harass Moxxie for laughs.

On a slightly longer note, I find them not only to be lackluster representation, but yet another instance in the growing pattern of Vivziepop's achillean ships being either based on sex, or having a heavy emphasis on sex that isn't afforded to her sapphic or hetero pairings. This isn't to say that the other achillean ships don't have moments that are fluffier or not purely focused on sex (after all, Chaxxie is the worst offender of being a pairing based on nothing but sex from a writing standpoint), but the discrepancy between the amount of sex talk from Chaggie and Millie/Moxxie as compared to Fizzozzie, Stolitz and Chaxxie is stark.

It's hard to say exactly what goes on in the heads of the writers, and I am not here to speculate on what they may be thinking at all times. However, the writing behind Chaxxie as a pairing specifically (in the past or not) leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. The inclusion of Chaz does nothing to further Moxxie's character and seems more like a segue into making his bisexuality explicit, rather than taking the time to explore his attraction to men and past relationships meaningfully. Their past relationship is shallow at best, giving me no real reason to care about its end, and does a disservice to the already limited representation in Helluva Boss by painting yet another portrait of a lustful, but ultimately loveless feeling relationship.

#helluva critical #helluva boss critical #helluva critique #vivziepop critical #vivziepop critique #hazbin critical #chaxxie critical #long post #🎶🔫#🦈 💦#🎪 critiques

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sturn1olo-ffics · 1 year ago

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- WANNA BE YOURS -

- Matt Sturniolo x Fem Reader (she/her pronouns used)

-Warnings: Some swearing, kissing (making out again lmao), angsty Matt, I think that’s it?; NOT PROOFREAD

-About: Matt’s attitude has been getting worse around you. You, the triplets, and Madi go to a birthday party to celebrate a friend of a friend. At the party, you decide to talk to him about it there but it turns into a nerve-wracking love confession.

(Y/N’s POV):

“CHRIS!! CHRISSSS!!! CHRI-” Nick yelled until he was interrupted.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP NICK JESUS. Just go downstairs and get him.” Matt clapped back, annoyed.

We were all getting ready to go to a friend’s birthday party. I didn’t really know him all that well but Matt, Chris, and Nick were friends of friends.

“Is this fine?” I said, walked downstairs from Nick’s room.

“Girl you look so fine my goodness” Madi responded in awe.

“Yeah, you look great” Matt said with a quickness.

Matt had been acting weird around me for weeks now. Almost like he was annoyed with me all the time. I tried to talk to Nick about it, but he just said maybe Matt just needs space from his friends.

“Anyway, we need to get in the car and go.” Nick announced while dragging Chris up the stairs.

We got in the car, Matt and Chris up front, Madi and I in the middle row, and Nick in the way back.

“Hey Chris can you take my phone and take a picture of all of us for my Snapchat story?” I asked.

“Yeah of course-” Chris started but was cut off.

“I don’t wanna be in it” Matt mumbled.

“Oh… well can you just make sure to not get Matt in it then?” I responded, obviously a little worried.

Chris took the picture and handed my phone back as we pulled up in front of the house.

Matt quickly opened his door and started walking to the front door. This was unlike him. He always wanted someone by his side.

“Matt!” I yelled, hopping out of the car.

He turned around, didn’t say anything, and walked in.

“Is he acting strange to you guys?” I asked everyone.

“I mean. He only acts like this when you’re around, no offense, but maybe he’s upset with you. Why don’t you go talk to him?” Nick said, patting my back.

We walked into the party, went our separate ways, and I immediately started searching for Matt.

“Madi! Have you seen Matt anywhere??” I yelled over loud music across the kitchen.

“No, I thought you had found him. I can keep an eye out.” Madi said walking towards me.

“Okay. I’m just worried and I don’t know why he’s mad at me.” I said, almost tearing up.

“I don’t think he’s mad at you, I just think you guys might have been around each other too much.” Madi responded with a quickness.

I left Madi with her other friends to search the house for Matt. After not being able to find him for 30 minutes, I decided to take a breath of fresh air.

I opened up the sliding door to the back yard, and low and behold guess who was there, sitting in a chair playing Pokémon Go.

Matt.

I walked over and sat next to him in the matching outdoor chair.

“Matt.” I said firmly.

“Yes?” He responded, not taking an eye off his phone.

“Matt, put your phone away for two seconds.” I begged him.

He groaned, turned his phone off, and slid it into his back pocket.

“We need to address the elephant in the room.” I joked, trying to lighten the situation.

“Last time I checked, there were no animals here.” He said annoyed while getting up from his chair and making his way back into the house.

“Matt, please.” I responded, grabbing his jacket sleeve.

He pulled away and walked into the house.

“He’s never gonna open up is he?” I heard Chris say from behind me.

“Dude I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I did.” I said, tears filling my eyes.

“Hey, hey-” Chris spoke, grabbing my hands to hold. “I just think Matt has a lot of new feelings that he doesn’t know how to control.” He continued.

“What do you mean?” I asked, wiping the tears from my eyes before they ruined my makeup.

“Don’t you see the way he looks at you? The way he searches for you in a crowded room? The way your smile can bring a smile to his face too? Everything. It’s so obvious.” Chris giggled.

“What’s obvious?” I questioned.

“Oh my God, y/n. Matt likes you. He’s in love with you. It’s SO obvious.” Chris said, grabbing my shoulders and shaking them.

“What- no. He does all of that because we’re friends-” I started but was cut off by Chris.

“Y/n if you don’t get your ass in there and talk to him I’m gonna grab the microphone out of Larray’s hand and announce to everyone that you have a crushy crush on Matt.” He said firmly.

“How do you know????” I screeched.

“Know what- YOU DO LIKE MATT?? I was just joking but it’s true?!? Me and Nick placed a bet on this!” Chris joked excitedly.

“Jesus Chris I’ll be back.” I scoffed.

I walked back inside and found Matt, leaning up against a wall.

“Matt we need to talk. Really.” I said, grabbing his hand.

“Now?” He said in annoyance.

“Yes now.” I responded back.

I pulled him upstairs into a quiet room where no one else was. We stood by the foot of the bed as I continued.

“I don’t know why you are acting like this but you need to tell me now.” I said.

Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys started playing over the loud speaker down stairs. The music flooded through the house. “Oh no” I thought to myself.

“Y/n-” Matt started but I cut him off.

“Actually you know what. Let me go first. Matt. I like you. I love you actually. I have ever since we met. That’s why this is bothering me so incredibly much and I just want you to tell me what’s going on because I care about you and-” I started to tear up but was cut off by Matt’s lips against mine.

“I just wanna be yours” Matt pulled back.

“Matt this isn’t time to be singing a fucking song. I miss my best friend-” I said, shocked before I was cut off once again.

“Well you can miss your best friend some more because I don’t wanna be that anymore.” Matt started.

“What do you mean?” I said, oblivious.

“I mean, I want to be your boyfriend. I want to be yours. Just like Alex Turner is saying in this song-” he continued.

“You know Alex Turner…?” I asked.

“Doesn’t matter-” he said before I interrupted.

“Wait- is this why you’ve been avoiding me?” I asked.

“Well if I couldn’t make it any more obvious.” He smirked, grabbing my waist and pulling me in.

His lips fit perfectly in mine like they were meant to stay that way forever.

He pushed me up against the door as he pulled back to catch his breath, but I ran my fingers through his hair and deepened the kiss.

We stayed like that for what felt like hours, but was really about a minute long.

“So you aren’t mad at me?” I pulled back.

“Why would I be?” He said out of breath.

“Well I-” I spoke before being interrupted.

“I could never be upset with my beautiful girl.” He said, smiling into me eyes.

Butterflies swarmed my stomach as he pulled me back in for one more, soft kiss.

————————————————————————————

A/n: I love this song. I hope you all enjoyed. Thank you so so much for 250 notes on my last Matt fic. I’m glad y’all liked it. Lmk what y’all wanna see next, I’m always open to ideas!

#fluff #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x you #sturniolo triplets x reader #sturniolo triplets #the sturniolos #matt sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo x you #nick sturniolo x reader

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tollingreminiscentbells · 1 year ago

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In the defense of bottom!Voldemort|Tom

I'm in a mood, so I've decided to break down my thoughts on this topic and I'm putting it in the tags for anyone who is interested. With a suitably melodramatic title.

The rules here are simple: if you know you won't like this, don't read it. If you read it anyway and don't like it, that is the definition of a you problem. Okay? Okay.

So let's talk about why I think it is incorrect and, frankly, offensive to claim that Voldemort|Tom bottoming is inherently out of character.

In order to have this conversation, we're actually having a bigger conversation about sex. Because that's really what this is about.

Something that has popped up in a handful of comments on my own fic is surprise that Voldemort wants to suck Harry's cock. Now, I'm going to be charitable and assume that the people who say things like this don't realize what they're implying. But the reality is that they are operating from the assumption that a man sucking another man's dick is, at least to some extent, weak and degrading. A subservient act.

This is both homophobic and factually untrue. A significant percentage of people who like dick also like giving blowjobs. It's an enjoyable, pleasurable thing to do. And even if the physical act of sucking cock doesn't turn someone on, there are so many other reasons to want to do it. Getting off on being the source of your partner's pleasure, for one example.

But let's move on to the elephant in the room: anal sex. Specifically, the act of being penetrated. The interesting thing about bottoming is that, contrary to what some people seem to believe, it's the more powerful position. Penetration is only happening because the person bottoming is granting permission. Even if that person has ceded total control of the encounter, the fact remains that they made that decision in the first place and could un-make it at any time.

If that agency does not exist, the sex is not truly consensual. Full stop.

Moreover, a strong, dominant personality =/= topping. There is no innate correlation. This is where misogyny really comes to the table. Bottoming seen as a feminine act, and femininity conflated with weakness and submission. Do I think (most) Tomarrymort readers are consciously thinking this way? No. But that doesn't mean the underlying bias isn't present.

There are so many ways penetrative sex can play out. Yes, you get the "classic" version of the person topping being dominant and the person bottoming being submissive. But you can also get topping from the bottom, where the dominant partner in every way is the person being fucked. Or maybe no one is taking a dominant role. Et cetera. This is a broad overview, not an exhaustive list.

Do you see what none of these things have? An assumption that topping=stereotypical masculinity and bottoming=stereotypical femininity. Even with a couple that likes playing with that flavor of gender roles, it's a choice they're making. And before someone willfully misunderstands me, there is nothing wrong with that choice. But don't mistake it for something it's not.

So now that we've clarified that being penetrated is not weak, degrading, or even inherently submissive, let's bring this back to Tomarrymort.

First of all, have you read the books? Voldemort is campy as shit. High drama and a surprisingly great sense of humor (his jokes are fucked up, but also pretty funny). He's not this hyper-masculine figure. On the flip side, Harry is not an effeminate man. He's a jock who will fight you.

So from whence comes this zealous dedication some people have to a fixed dynamic that puts Voldemort|Tom in the masculine role and Harry in the feminine role? Yes, we've established that sex positions are neither of those things, but we all know that's the assumption simmering toxically in the background.

I can't say for sure, but my instincts tell me that it comes from a shallow read of both characters. Voldemort is a powerful man who commands a terrorist organization. Harry is the good-hearted hero, defined by his capacity to love. And this can get twisted into Voldemort|Tom taking and Harry giving in a very reductive way. Even when the relationship is meant to be consensual.

Obviously, I don't think this is universal. I've read a lot of incredible takes on sex in this fandom, with different top/bottom/switching dynamics. And this is fanfiction, which means you can play with characterization to your heart's content. What I'm talking about is people insisting that Voldemort|Tom must top and Harry must bottom and anything else is wrong.

Why are you so adamant about that? Have you ever given it a moment's thought? If you prefer it, you prefer it, that's all fine. But when it morphs into claiming that bottom!Voldemort|Tom is out of character and bad, things have crossed over into the arena of the absurd. Like what you like, but be aware of what you're really saying when you talk about sex.

Not conflating bottoming with weakness and topping with strength would be a good starting point. Understand that there are myriad reasons a person might want to bottom. It can be a source of relief, allowing someone else to take control so you don't have to. It can be an act of manipulation. It can be a form of domination. And sometimes it's just because bottoming is what feels good and they have more fun that way. Or it's just the kind of pleasure they're in the mood for on a random Tuesday night.

No one is telling you to read things you don't enjoy. And no one is saying that fixed top/bottom dynamics don't exist in the real world. But it's ridiculous to apply a fixed dynamic to such a degree that you get upset when other people write something else and consider a fic "ruined" by it. You really should put some thought into your biases. It's good for you. But even if you don't, when you claim a sexual dynamic is inherently out of character, you're actually just wrong. So stop doing that. It will be a net gain for all of us, including you.

#harrymort #tomarrymort #it's time for a sex talk #i prefer to write switching but there is no hierarchy here

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maximumkillshot · 1 year ago

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I Can't Lose You-Part 8

Warnings: Depressed Seungmin, Nightmares, Descriptions of Grief, Mentions of a Suicide Flag being raised, Sadness, If I missed any lemme know.

Pairing: BangChan x Reader

Characters: Stray Kids, Nurse, Reader, Dr.Yun

A/N: Hello Everyone we are back on the main storyline! Have fun I guess? Still sorry... so so so sososososoooso sorry.

I Can't Lose you Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE.

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

Once it was clear that you were out for the count, everyone started falling asleep one by one. No one was willing to leave just yet. They wanted to make sure you knew that no one was leaving you. Eventually, it was just Seungmin and Bin who were awake. Seungmin noticed that Bin’s eyes started drooping, “Go to sleep, Hyung. I’ll stay up in case she wakes up.” He petted your hair back, making sure you were comfortable.

“If she needs me.” Bin looked down at you, worried…

“You will be the first person I wake up, okay?” Seungmin made a face, it was gentle yet insistent. He was going to get Bin to sleep whether he wanted to or not. It wasn’t up for discussion. Elder or not, Seungmin knows that he has been through hell, and even now Bin is fixed on you. He can see it. Bin is doing his best to piece together the shards left over.

Bin looked up at Seungmin and said, “Thank you. I know it’s not easy, knew you were close with her, thank you for staying strong.” Bin wanted to say a hundred more things. He’s observant, Bin saw the way he looked at you. He also saw the tearstains on Seungmin’s face. The pain was written in his features as he looked at you. He noticed when Seungmin went to touch you for the first time after the episode, to lean forward and kiss your forehead, it was less of reassurance and more of a mutual pain. He couldn’t pinpoint the feeling at the time. All he knew was there was a lot that he didn’t know.

Seungmin just said, “We are all close to her. Not nearly as close as you. You need rest, Hyung. Don’t worry, I got it.” Seungmin was the only one awake for a few hours as everyone slept. He was looking at his mail order account, deleting all of the future purchases that would’ve been made as a surprise for the baby. He had everything in either pink, blue, or yellow.

He stopped for a minute at the toy elephant that you gushed over one time at a mall, you loved the texture and you couldn’t get over the cute floppy ears on it. It was the first thing he saved on his list. He moved on to the educational toys that you had to have, the toy rings, and the play mats.

The one that really got him was the blankets with the month countdown to one year. He could see it in his head, you excitedly laying the baby down on it and taking a picture for social media, you circling the month during the editing of the photo.

While Minho is great at visualization, Seungmin is great at audiation, he can imagine sounds without them being present in the environment. Seungmin could hear you chirping at him, “Look at him, Minnie! Look at your cute little nephew Chanseung! I can't believe the time is flying by so fast! Who is that? That’s Uncle Minnie!” He smiled at the sound that he’d never hear. He stared at that blanket for a while, before forcing himself to delete it.

He could feel the tears running down his face, seeing the empty list. He looked up to you, and he whispered to himself, “I want to take the pain away. The hurt, I don’t know how, Birdie.” He pulled the blanket up a little higher up your back, making sure you were covered, and sheltered.

He started filling it back up, searching “how to help someone cope with miscarriage..” He hit search and books started popping up. He read some reviews and settled on three, “What Could Have Been: Helping Her Through Misscarriage”, “Grief and Loss: Learning How to Cope with Misscarriage”, and “Up Above: Journal For Mom To A Baby In Heaven”.

Then he searched, “Coping With Miscarriage As A Family.” Once again he read the reviews, settling on, “Staying Strong: Coping as A Family”, “It Takes A Village: Grief And Family”, and finally, “Stronger Together: Surviving Miscarriage as a Family”.

He also looked up, “Memento for Miscarriage.” And a unisex bracelet popped up, it had a little charm on it of a sun. He decided to get 7 of them. The one he got for you was different. It was a 14k gold bracelet with a charm of a pair of baby feet. There was a plate on the bracelet that could be engraved with anything, so he took a picture of the wavelength of the baby’s heartbeat from the ultrasound and uploaded it. He didn’t want to acknowledge Chan in this but also, the baby was his. He found a stainless steel bracelet with a thicker band, something that he’d wear. He did the same with his bracelet as well, uploading the heartbeat.

Seungmin couldn’t get what you screamed at Chan out of his head. The baby was right there, in your belly. He couldn’t help the fact that he knew what you were talking about. Seungmin was there for it all so for Chris to say, “It was mine too,” was a slap in the face. He wasn’t there. That was when Seungmin realized something. Chan started fucking Soo two months ago… You found out you were pregnant two months ago. The entire time you knew you were pregnant, planning for him, still cooking for him, doing everything in your power to surprise him, and carrying his child on top of that. Meanwhile, he was busy fucking his side piece. He was so busy in fact that he didn’t even realize that you wore baggier clothes, slept more, and avoided some of your favorite foods like the plague. At this point, Chan was more sperm donor than father, but Seungmin still felt that the baby was here, in a way, he felt like he needed to remind everyone because they weren’t able to know the baby the way that he did.

Seungmin was in a depression, he could feel it starting, not because of you. He was so depressed because Minho was right. Seungmin looked up to Chan. He never had an older brother, and Chan was that for him. Annoying him any chance he got, giving him advice, and being a role model through and through. He didn’t know what was happening to you in your marriage at all until Felix and Minho kept disappearing every weekend to spend time with you. He told himself that you knew what you were getting into. It was only when he got closer and started spending so much time with you that he learned that Chan promised you so many things, and didn’t hold up on his end. He promised to be home a a decent time, some nights he didn’t even show up at home. He promised he’d take Sundays off when he isn’t touring, he never did take them off at all.

As he thought about this, he heard the door open. He could see multiple pairs of feet in the shadows on the ground. A small woman walked in with a clipboard and a doctor’s coat along with the nurse. The nurse already knew most of what was going on, the overnight doctor briefing her on the delicate nature of the situation.

The nurse came closer to Seungmin as she whispered, “Is she still resting well?”

Seungmin nodded. He looked over to the bed seeing Bin’s hand buried in your hair, his lips close enough to kiss your head, his other hand over yours on his chest. Seungmin smiled at that, reminding himself he’d need to get a picture of this.

The nurse said, “Is there any way we can speak to you in the hall?”

Again, Seungmin nodded. He whispered, “Let me wake someone, I don’t want her to panic if she wakes up and I’m missing.”

The nurse nodded with a smile as Seungmin tried to make a decision on who he’d wake. He decided on Hyunjin, as out of everyone, he was able to sleep a little in the car. Seungmin walked through the minefield of members over to Hyunjin, who had Lix using his leg as a pillow. “Hyunjin wake up, the nurse wants to speak to me outside, if Hannie wakes up he can meet us in the hall, otherwise let him sleep.” Hyunjin nodded as he wiped his eyes. When Seungmin stepped out into the hall the nurse introduced the petite woman as Dr.Yun, she was the attending psychiatrist in charge of your case.

Seungmin’s eyebrows dipped, “Psychiatrist?”

The doctor looked and said, “Yes I think it’s better if we talk in the consult room, more private that way.” Seungmin nodded, shooting Hyunjin a text about where he’ll be at.

As soon as the door closed, the doctor started, “Do you know why I am here?”

Seungmin nodded. He knew why. He didn’t want to say it out loud though. “I know why you’re here. I just thought they’d do this sort of thing outpatient.”

The doctor sat down with him, “Usually that is the case, but Y/N raised a suicide risk flag by her expressing her want to die.”

He nodded, in his head he was thinking, if you only knew what she had gone through, you’d understand why she said that. Instead, he went with, “What would you like to know? I want to help.” If Seungmin was being honest, he rarely ever met a situation that he didn’t prepare for. Except for last night. He didn’t know what to do and if he didn’t know, he wasn’t comfortable with you going in there. So when he saw you get up he wanted to scream to you that you didn’t need to do this. Another thing that he knew was… you did. You have never seen a problem and not faced it right then and there. You have always been the type of person to tackle it. So him asking you not to do that, would have been out of the question.

Just thinking about it gave him chills, where everyone would run away… you ran towards. Even if your brain had every cell of your body screaming to run away… you always ran towards. That was one of the things that he admired most about you. You’re brave. So when he saw you, the fear in your eyes, it rocked him. You were staring into his soul saying that you, the fearless one, were scared. But you weren’t scared of anything… other than losing him. Of waking up, and never seeing him again. The fear was deafening in your voice. Barely above a whisper, tears spilling onto Bin’s chest.

She started off with, “How was she before this?”

Seungmin’s face fell as he recalled all of the moments he shared with you before last night, “Happy. Excited. Hopeful. The opposite of who you know.” Seungmin looked at the nurse. The nurse’s face dropped a little. Anyone who looked at Seungmin could tell he was in shambles, if they looked at any of the boys, they could tell that. That’s why no one was forcing those 7 boys away from you. It was clear you needed them and even clearer that they needed you.

The doctor continued, “The notes in her chart say that she miscarried due to a trauma, do you know the specifics?”

“Yes, I do.” He said. The doctor waited for him to continue, “She walked in on her husband cheating on her with her best friend on their third anniversary.”

Seungmin couldn’t help but think that Bin would’ve never let you go a night alone let alone your third anniversary. “All of the people in that room were there. The man on the bed, Bin, told us all to meet at the house, that her husband, his ex-best friend, never showed up to the anniversary dinner. He didn’t have a good feeling about it. We all walked in on it. She just sat on the couch, staring at a photo of them on their wedding day, while she heard him saying the most disgusting things, how her friend was so much better than her, how good she made him feel, how he couldn’t wait to leave her. It broke her. Broke all of us.” Seungmin was staring at his hands by the end of it, imagining if he had a wife, that he could never do that.

“I see. Did anyone know about the baby?” She asked as if reading Seungmin’s mind.

“I did.” He started breaking, hearing the heartbeat again. Your teary reaction playing on repeat in his head. You were so nervous, excited, and curious. All of the things that raced through your mind could be read all over your face that day. The minute you saw that little bean, that baby, tears sprang to your eyes, once you heard that heartbeat, you were already more in love than you could ever describe. It made Seungmin cry. A life was right there, and he was hearing it. He couldn’t wait to tell your child this story. “I figured it out before she did.”

“Do you think that she needs help coping? We have plenty of resources and we’d be more than happy to-”

“Yes. She’s going to need all of the help she can get. She went from being pregnant and being in a happy marriage, to losing her baby, her husband, and her best friend in less than 24 hours.” Seungmin answered honestly. Your entire life was ripped apart. All because of two people who didn’t deserve your time and energy. To think that those people he would’ve trusted with children of his own. Instead, they showed their true colors at the worst possible time. The question almost annoyed Seungmin. Was the doctor not listening to what he just said? He thought in his head, my friend… The only other person who knew about this baby 48 hours ago… Just lost everything and this doctor’s question is ‘Will she need help’? NO FUCKING SHIT SHE NEEDS HELP… we all need help. None of us know how the fuck to help her. We are all destroyed, I am in turmoil, she will never be the same… HOW DO YOU EVEN HAVE A DEGREE LET ALONE A DOCTORATE?! Minnie knew it was misplaced anger. He took a cleansing breath as he looked up at the doctor.

“Will it need to be inpatient?” She asked.

“If she has us, no. If you leave her to her own devices, she won’t make it. He was all she had, well thought she had. We were all friends with her husband first. She’s terrified that we’ll leave her. We will never leave her.” Seungmin added.

“Is there anywhere she can go? Going back to her home with her husband can make everything worse.” The doctor stated.

Seungmin nodded and said, “We’ll figure all of that out, don’t worry about that. How do we help her?” the tears started rolling, “I as well as everyone else in that room feels so helpless, she is the sweetest person we know. We need to help her, how?” His tears right now are from frustration.

The doctor looked at Seungmin, “Communication is key. She may not want to communicate right away, that’s normal. She also needs to take the medicine we prescribe, she may not want to take it as well. It’s tricky because many women who miscarry have guilt. They feel like they failed, like they don’t deserve to be alive. You need to constantly remind her that what happened wasn’t her fault. Her body went through severe trauma. Remind her that she is worthy of breathing, smiling, laughing, enjoying life.”

Seungmin looked at the doctor, “Okay. Would you need to talk to her?” Seungmin asked, “So far whenever she tries to go back, she has to be sedated, her heart can’t take it.”

The doctor thought for a minute and said, “I’m still going to have to talk to her before discharge,”

“Is there any way you could let her sleep for a while? She's so exhausted.”

The doctor nodded and said, “I’ll be back tomorrow so she'll have more time to regulate. Thank you for taking the time to talk, I know that it can be hard to talk about things like this but what you told me gave me some valuable insight into what happened.”

Seungmin walked back to the room as he tried to think of a way to keep you close and at the same time, give you the space you needed to heal.

When he sat back down with Hyunjin he texted him.

“Hyunjin, the psychiatrist just came in. I told her what happened.”

Hyunjin looked at his phone and read it. Seconds later he started typing, “My guess is that they heard Y/N that she wanted to die.”

Seungmin immediately replied, “Yeah. They said that after they talk to her it’s recommended that she doesn’t go back to the house. That it’ll make everything worse. I’m trying to figure out how to do this. I don’t want Chan anywhere near her.”

Hyunjin’s face turned hard, “At this point, I don’t want to be there, either. He’s toxic. I feel sick thinking that he was our friend. I had no clue she was going through all of this. He’s so toxic.”

Seungmin thought for a minute, “Wherever she’s going I think Felix, Minho, Bin, and Hannie should be with her.”

Hyunjin nodded, “Maybe an apartment? Or switching houses. I think she may want someplace familiar.”

Seungmin said “When she gets up we should ask her. They never told me when they were thinking of discharging her.”

Hyunjin shook his head, “No, she just went through an episode, making her make a decision right after sedation isn’t a good idea. Maybe ask Bin??”

Seungmin smiled, “Yeah that’s a good idea. For now, they all need rest. You included. Thanks for staying up for me.”

Hyunjin just went back to sleep after nodding at Seungmin. It wasn’t lost on Hyunjin that Seungmin was clearly distraught in that hallway. He knew that now wasn’t the time. Maybe when things calmed down. When everyone was feeling less tense, Hyunjin could reapproach.

After a few hours, people started slowly waking up until everyone was lucid, be it from hunger, or eventually hearing the mumbles of others. The nurses would pop in occasionally, giving whatever they could to help you and the boys. A little into most being awake except for yourself and Bin, you started mumbling. Han looked at the clock. His gaze shot to his phone, it was almost time for your next anxiety medication. They warned him that sometimes nearing the next dose, your anxiety would kick back up, and he told everyone to quiet down for a second. He wanted to make sure you weren’t in any distress.

He noticed you started to mumble, “Chris, my boys… where… my boys…Binnie…” All of the boys looked like the only thing they wanted to do was wake you. The nurses advised Han, however, that the best way to wake you was not in the middle of the nightmare, you’d probably remember it, and usually that only compounds the trauma. So all he could really do was watch. You gripped Bin’s hoodie and he woke up immediately, his eyes snapping to you. He woke up to hear your mumbles, “Chris…. Not…not my boys… please..” He saw you start to cry in your sleep.

He whispered, “We’re here Angel, not going anywhere it’s okay.”

You started shaking, “Where… Binnie… don’t take… from me. Chris please…my boys…help…”

Bin couldn’t see any more of this. He started to pet your hair a little more intently, as he directed Han to get the nurse. Then he started raising his volume a little bit, “Angel… wake up for me… Angel… Y/N…” He started lightly jostling you as he squeezed your hand under his lightly, “Angel it’s a nightmare, wake up… Y/N…”

Finally, your eyes snapped open as you squeezed him, “Binnie… Chris took you away… Took all of you away…”

“Shhhh shhhhh it’s okay, it was a nightmare, we’re here. It’s okay.”

“He took my boys away,” Your eyes were glassy, pupils dilated as you registered where you were. You looked around and Seungmin came up to pet your hair.

“Hi Birdie, it’s okay. It’s alright. You’re okay, we’re all here. Hannie is getting the nurse, okay?”

Seungmin could see your body shaking slightly, he got down to your level again and held your hand while Bin kept rubbing your back.

You looked at Seungmin and started tearing up again, “you didn’t leave?” He wiped your tears and said, “Why would I? You're here. I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” He smiled at you, “Just breathe Birdie… you’re okay.”

He could tell you wanted him closer, “Do you want to lay on me? Would that help, Birdie?”

You couldn’t really talk but you nodded, then he looked to Bin and said, “Okay beat it Seo, she wants me now…” Making you giggle a little. Bin looked at you and reluctantly let go with a kiss on your head.

Once again, Seungmin is in no way shape, or form known for skinship but there he was lying so content next to you. Everyone has no idea what is going on. Lix looked to Seungmin and was very skeptical as he said, “O… okay I want to cuddle at home and he’s all ‘I need my personal space’ but if it’s Y/N… I got it Kim Seungmin… You’re lucky I’m not the jealous type.”

Minho piped up with “You are the jealous type.” with a scoff and Lix fired back with, “Good point…. What does Y/N have Seungmin? Huh? I have long hair and cute freckles, I’m adorable. So what is it?”

Seungmin just looked at you and whispered “Watch this…” Then he addressed Lix, “Easy you’re not Birdie.” That made you giggle a little more. You still shook but you were coming out of it a little.

Lix said, “I’m a bird, you don’t know Bbokari? I am even cuter I’m a baby chick…”

Seungmin nudged your back so Lix didn’t see it and he said, “You also commit cannibalism…” He narrowed his eyes as you started to laugh. Felix looked down at you and smirked as Seungmin said, “And Birdie is way cuter than you, Lix.” His jaw dropped, bright like that and Seungmin copied his expression.

“I mean you’re right but why come for my throat like that?” He fake scoweled at him as he sat back down, playfully turning his back to Seungmin, “uncalled for…”

Once again Minho acted disinterested as he deadpanned, “I mean he is right Yongbok-ah.”

Then Felix said, “You too?!” And you laughed even harder.

Felix looked at you and said, “Flower, am I cute?” He asked with a fake quiver on his lip. Felix’s nickname for you was Flower. The reason for it is one of his favorite memories with you. Felix and you are really the only two people out of everyone who actually stop to take in the surroundings around you. There was one time you got so excited when you found a pretty flower blooming on a tree while you both were out on a walk. He literally heard a squeak and then you were darting toward a tree. When he looked in the direction you darted in you were trying to jump to grab one of the flowers on its branches.

He walked over to you, and still, no matter how high you jumped, you couldn’t reach it. He giggled to himself as he said, “Which one are you aiming for Y/N?”

You said “The one on the tip of that branch.” It was a good jump away for you. But you weren’t a dancer with years of Taekwondo training.

He smirked as he said, “Okay jumping bean stand back.” You did and in one leap he snatched the flower off the branch. He walked over to you and put it in your hair. “I can’t decide which flower is more pretty.” He took a picture of you and said, “Hm this one,” He booped your nose and showed you the picture, “See?” You giggled and thanked him and you both kept on walking, since then that’s been your contact photo, the name it’s saved under being Flower.

“Of course you are, Lixie!” you answered.

“Oh thank god, Flower doesn’t lie so I’m good.” He grabbed his chest, as he slunk down.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin took Bin to the hall to talk.

He started off with.“Seungmin talked to the Psychiatrist. He told her the gist of the situation, and she said that after she talked to Y/N, she’d be discharged. They recommended that she doesn’t enter the house. At least not yet. It’s too big of a stress on her.”

“Ok, I figured that,” Bin said nodding as he carded his hand through his hair, thinking.

Hyunjin continued, “He talked with me and we wanted to know what you thought. Maybe you and Hannie switching houses with Seungmin and someone else if she wants somewhere familiar. If she wants her own place, maybe an apartment where you and Hannie, Lix, and Minho go with her. We figured you four wouldn’t want to leave her side either way.”

“Yeah, I’m not leaving her anywhere. Hmm. She’s too fragile to ask this question right now. Do we have a timeframe of when they are looking to discharge her?”

“No not really,” Hyunjin said.

“Okay, can you find that out for me? At least an estimation, I want to give her as much time as possible to be somewhat calmer. If she can’t make a decision I’ll take her somewhere with me, get her away where she can process a little. Thanks, Hyunjin.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” Hyunjin said. When both of them went back inside they walked in on you starting to look a little more yourself. You were looking around and then looked at Bin.

“Hello Angel, how are you feeling?” Bin asked.

“M’good… But I want something.” You looked guilty which made him laugh.

“Let me guess….” He looked intently at you thinking…. “Hmmmm… you hungry?”

You nodded your head, “But not just anything…” You trailed off.

Seungmin knew that face… You have a craving. He’s thinking about how he is going to get you what you want without causing suspicion. Lately, it’s been for Felix’s brownies. There were a lot of questions he had to answer and luckily he knew exactly how to answer them.

Bin’s face scrunched up, “Craving?” he asked.

You nodded. The suspense is killing Seungmin, they could’ve been halfway to the car by now. “Let me guess,” Seungmin said.

Everyone looked at him, “Felix’s Brownies?”

You nodded at Seungmin. You weren’t panicking or anything. You have full confidence that he would protect your privacy.

Minho could tell something as he said, “How did you know that, Kim Seungmin?” He had a quizzical look about him as Seungmin smirked.

“Listen I know exactly how addicting those things are, they are the reason why I got yelled at by management before last comeback. I also know that she loves chocolate, so put two and two together.” Seungmin smirked.

“Ok…. so why are they at her house and not ours?” Minho asked, grinning like a cat that got the cream.

“You tell me what’ll survive longer at our house, Minho… Chicken shakes or Brownies?” He smirked eyes narrowing.

Minho said nothing and Seungmin said, “Exactly… My brownie stash is at their place, they had a better chance of surviving there, especially with Hyunjin’s bottomless pit of a stomach. All Birdie asked was that I brought a sacrificial pan for her.” He is lying through his teeth right now. All three were for you and he happily let you eat all of it in front of him, knowing you were probably lacking Magnesium. Of course, he wasn’t reckless, he’d check your sugar levels and would walk with you to keep them down.

Felix laughed as he said, “That’s why you had me bake five of them and only two were in the house the next day??”

Seungmin nodded, “Speaking of.” he thought for a second as he said, “We are down to how many, Birdie?”

You looked up at him and said, “Ok so first…. Did I mention you are so loved by me and your friendship means the WORLD to me…”

“Birdie? Out with it.”

“Half a pan, Minnie.” Seungmin’s jaw dropped, again, at completely known information already. He should get a performance award or something. “I have a weakness for delicious deserts and I am not above admitting that, can you go by the house and get it, Minnie?” Bin couldn’t find it in himself not to coo at you.

“You are so adorable it’s criminal. I can’t handle you.” He said absentmindedly as his shoulders slumped in acceptance.

“Am I so adorable that you’ll go with Minnie to get it?” You smiled wide, as if to make yourself more cute, not that you could to Binnie.

“Angel… I’m not comfortable leaving you...” Bin said.

“I knoooooooow but I’m really craving it. Please, Binnie” You did the cute eyes, the jutting lip… the same exact look that made his stomach do summersaults and his heart explode since he’s met you.

“Yah Angel, with the face, and the…” he took in a lungful of air. “Fiiiiiine fine fine. Okay, I’ll go, okay. Because you asked.”

You smiled at him and said, “Thank you thank you thank you!!”

The whole ride was not too bad, passed in silence mostly. Bin was gearing himself up to be in that house again. He’s learned a lot about Chan, the thing above all is to stay calm. He’s just wondering if that is even a possibility at this point. Just seeing him makes Bin want to put Chris’ face through the nearest brick wall. Yes, he knows it’ll take multiple times to get his head through it, and if there is one thing he knows, the wall will win, but Bin was damn sure going to try.

When they parked Bin was the first to say, “We go in… we get the snacks and we leave.” He said it more for himself than anything. As he opened the door he saw Chris which didn’t surprise him, being on the phone did.

He smirked up at Bin as he said, “Of course I didn’t mean it, I love you, Baby, you know that.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

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thecreaturecodex · 17 days ago

Text

Grýla

[Part 2 of a three part series on Icelandic Christmas folklore, following the Yule Lads. Which means yes, a Yule Cat is forthcoming. Earlier Icelandic writings emphasized Gryla's monstrousness; there are versions where she has three heads and forty tails and forty sacks. I quite like this design as a compromise between some of her most extravagant forms, and just making her an ogre]

Grýla CR 16 CE Fey This huge ogress has a crown of horns and four eyes, two in the normal places, one on her forehead and one on the back of her head. She has cloven hooves and clawed hands, and fifteen tails which she keeps tied up in two bundles. She carries a large sack thrown over her shoulder.

Grýla is a fey troll, a vicious giant who devours children. She lairs in a lava tube among frozen volcanic mountains. She is happy to feed on wild game and the occasional traveler for most of the year, but ventures forth in the wintertime begging for food in civilization, disguised as an old woman. In said disguise, she often offers to “take care” of disobedient children, by which she means murdering them, stuffing them into her bag of holding, and returning to her lair to cook and eat them. Unsurprisingly, Grýla is used as a bogey in areas where she has roamed long after her own attention has gone elsewhere.

Grýla prefers to pick on creatures weaker than her. She uses her fey magic and mastery over stone to disorient and hinder opponents, winnowing them down so she can fight one at a time. If she is feeling playful, she will use her many tails to disarm, trip, blind and annoy opponents, but once playtime is over, she merely tears them apart with her hands like fresh bread. Grýla values her own life, and will flee if she feels overpowered by using long step to take cover, then distracting enemies with mislead or project image.

Unlike a number of other bogeys, Grýla is the matriarch of a whole clan. These are her Yule Lads, a gang of fey miscreants who harass towns and farms during the winter solstice. The Yule Lads are friendly to their mother, and treat her consumption of humanoid flesh as more of an uncouth habit than a horrific crime. Grýla is on her third husband (having killed and eaten the previous two); this is the ogre glutton Leppalúði. He is as lazy as he is ravenous, so is happy to have his wife be the primary provider for their household. Their pet is the Yule Cat, a monstrous feline that more closely resembles a domestic cat the size of an elephant than any lion or tiger. Like many cats, this beast roams free much of the time, but always comes back around the home for a good meal.

Grýla CR 16 XP 76,800 Variant fey creature mountain troll CE Huge fey (augmented humanoid, giant) Init +3; Senses all around vision, darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent; Perception +24

Defense AC 30, touch 11, flat-footed 27 (+3 Dex, +19 natural, –2 size) hp 225 (18d8+144); regeneration 10 (acid or fire) Fort +18, Ref +9, Will +13; +4 vs. mind-influencing effects, +8 vs. charm and compulsion effects Resist cold 10, electricity 10, fire 10; SR 27 Defensive Abilities rock catching, stubborn; Weaknesses vulnerable to sonic

Offense Speed 40 ft., burrow 10 ft., climb 40 ft., long step Melee bite +23 (2d10+12), 2 claws +23 (2d6+12), 2 tail slaps +21 (2d6+6 plus vexing blow) Ranged rock +15/+10/+5 (2d8+18) Space 15 ft., Reach 15 ft. Special Attacks rend (2 claws, 2d6+18), rock throwing (120 ft.) Spell-Like Abilities (CL 18th; concentration +21 [+25 casting defensively]) At will—stone shape 3/day—dancing lights, spike stones (DC 17), stone tell 1/day—confusion (DC 17), deep slumber (DC 16), earthquake (DC 21), entangle (DC 14), faerie fire, feeblemind (DC 18), flesh to stone (DC 19), glitterdust (DC 15), irresistible dance (DC 21), major image (DC 16), mislead (DC 19), project image (DC 20), summon monster VIII (earth elementals only)

Statistics Str 34, Dex 17, Con 25, Int 9, Wis 16, Cha 10 Base Atk +13; CMB +27; CMD 40 Feats Alertness, Combat Casting, Deadly Aim, Improved Vital Strike, Iron Will, Multiattack, Power Attack, Quick Draw (B), Toughness, Vital Strike Skills Acrobatics +18 (+22 when jumping), Climb +30, Disguise +10, Intimidate +21, Perception +24, Sense Motive +22, Stealth +15; Racial Modifiers +2 Perception Languages Common, Giant, Sylvan SQ change shape (human or ogre, alter self or giant form I), rocky stride

Ecology Environment cold mountains Organization unique Treasure standard (bag of holding type IV, other treasure)

Special Abilities Long Step (Su) Once every 1d4 rounds, Gryla can teleport up to 180 feet as a move action. Rocky Stride (Ex) Grýla can move through any difficult terrain created by natural rock or stone without penalty. Spell-like Abilities Grýla uses her Wisdom modifier for the purposes of determining the DCs of her spell-like abilities and for concentration checks. Stubborn (Ex) A mountain troll gains a +4 racial bonus on all Will saving throws. In addition, if the troll fails a saving throw against a charm or compulsion effect, it can immediately attempt a second saving throw against the same effect on the next round to end the duration of the effect early. Vexing Blow (Ex) When Grýla hits an opponent with one of her tail slap attacks, she can make a disarm, trip or dirty trick maneuver against them as a free action without provoking attacks of opportunity. Grýla gains this ability and her tail slaps instead of a fly speed from the fey creature template.

#pathfinder 1e #gryla #fey #giant #icelandic folklore #yule lads #christmas #merry shitscram #ogre #troll #bogey

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badkitty3000 · 8 months ago

Note

Can you write a Five x Vivi fanfic where Vivi is sick with the flu/has a small injury & has to rest & Five just stays home and takes care of her for like a week?? Maybe some smut at the end👀👀

Thank you for the request!! Here's a funny/sweet/smutty one-shot of Five taking care of his sick wife like the sexy softy he is. I hope you enjoy! 😽

If you like reading Five as a caregiver, you may like my other, reader-insert story Love In The Time Of Cholera And Coffee ❤️

In Sickness And In Health

Warnings: Smut, Daddy kink

Five x OC One-shot, Words: 4,437

“What are you doing?”

Five looked his wife over with a frown as he sat at the kitchen table with his morning coffee. She was dressed in her normal work attire, but her hair was matted in the back and the small amount of eye makeup she had tried to apply was already sliding down her face and mixing with sweat that was starting to bead there. Her eyes were watering and her nose and cheeks were red. After coughing so hard it sounded like she was going to lose a lung, she wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

“Going to work. What does it look like?” Viv answered weakly on her way to get a tissue.

“Jesus, Vivian, you look like total shit. You can’t go to work like that.”

She rolled her eyes and made a noise that resembled a dying elephant as she blew her nose. “I have to go to work, Five. But thanks for the compliment.”

Five put his mug down and leaned back in his chair, an eyebrow raised. “You look like you’re about one sneeze away from passing out cold. You do not need to be going to work like that, and I can guarantee no one there wants your gross germs, either.”

“Well, I appreciate your concern, but I at least have to go in for a little bit. I’m needed.”

With a smile, Five got up and took her hand, gently taking the car keys that were dangling from her fingers.

“Darling, you know I love having you go off every day and earn the big bucks while I enjoy my peaceful days of retirement; I find nothing sexier. But you are absolutely not going to work. You need to stay home and rest.”

“But, I have this report…”

Five shook his head slowly.

“You can’t make me stay home…” Viv started to protest with a glare until she doubled over in a violent coughing fit. When she looked back up at Five, she sighed at his ‘I told you so’ face. She really hated it when he was right. “Fine, I will stay home. Just for today, though.”

“Good. Now go upstairs, get out of your clothes and back in bed. I’ll be up in a minute.”

Viv raised her eyebrows. “This better not be some elaborate scheme of yours to try and get laid.”

“Vivie, no offense, but the whole ‘dying of the plague’ look is not really doing it for me. Not to mention, I don’t need an elaborate scheme to get laid.”

Too tired to think of a witty response to that, Viv just huffed and turned around, heading for her bed. She may have hated being sick and having to stay home when there were a million things to do at work, but she cracked a tiny smile on her way up the stairs. Five was such a softy when it came to her and it made her love him even more knowing that he wanted to take care of her.

Once she had kicked off her heels and changed into some sweats and her favorite comfy cat t-shirt, Viv crawled under the covers of their bed, exhausted. Now that she wasn’t focused on getting to work, it became very clear that her entire body ached and she was shivering and sweating at the same time. She had a horrific headache and she couldn’t even breathe out of her nose. She felt like she could have slept for a year.

Viv was about to fall asleep when Five came in. He was carrying a tray with a glass of water, some medicine for her fever, and a mug of hot tea. After he made sure she took the pills and had a few sips of the tea, he helped her get comfortable again.

Five gave her a kiss on her damp forehead. “Get some sleep, angel. I’ll make you some soup and bring it up later.”

“Thanks, baby,” she mumbled, already drooling onto her pillow as she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

When she woke up later that afternoon, Viv noticed how long she had been sleeping and was shocked. Then she remembered Five said he was going to make her some soup, which actually sounded pretty good. She got out of bed and started down the stairs to the kitchen, where she heard a lot of rummaging around. When she walked in, Five was busy chopping up vegetables as a big pot of homemade chicken noodle soup simmered on the stove. He turned around, surprised, when he heard her come in.

“What are you doing up? You should be in bed.”

Viv smiled weakly. “I wanted to know what you were up to. Is that my soup?”

Five turned to face her, a knife in one hand, and wearing an apron that said “I’ll Feed All You Fuckers” on the front. “Yes, it is. It’s almost ready, so go back upstairs and I’ll bring you some in a minute.”

Trying not to laugh, partly because her head felt like it might explode and laughing would probably make it worse, she sighed heavily. “I know you have an aversion to canned food, but wouldn’t it be easier just to throw some Campbell’s soup in a bowl? I promise I’m not picky.”

With a deep frown, his dark eyebrows drawing together, Five pointed the knife at her. “I’ll pretend you didn’t say that. Do you know how many women would kill to have their husbands making them homemade soup?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“Well, it’s probably a lot. So, get your ass out of here and back upstairs before I blink you back up there myself.”

Viv held her hands up. “Alright, I’m going. Sorry to interrupt, Ms. Child.”

“Joke’s on you, because that’s a very high compliment!” he called after her as she trudged heavily back up the stairs.

Half an hour later, after Five was satisfied with the tenderness of the carrots and celery, he delivered Viv her soup. She ate as much as she could before feeling dizzy again and needing to lie down. Her muscles hurt and her head was throbbing, but she thanked Five for taking care of her and he left again while she fell back asleep.

Sometime during the night, Vivian woke up alone in their bed. Squinting at the clock on the nightstand, she saw it was after midnight. Five definitely should have come to bed by then. She was feeling feverish again since the medication she had taken earlier had worn off. And she hated being in bed by herself.

“Five?” she called, but her voice was weak and quiet and she knew wherever he was he wouldn’t be able to hear her.

She got up again, swaying on shaking legs, and headed for the stairs. “Five?” she called out again, this time a little louder. She was halfway down the stairs when she suddenly felt a wave of dizziness wash over her and black spots started to form in front of her eyes. She gripped the railing with both hands, but she felt her knees start to give out. Just as she was about to tumble down the stairs, Five appeared in a flash of blue and grabbed her around the waist.

“What the hell are you doing?” he barked as he took her full weight in his arms and held her upright.

“I was looking for you,” Viv answered sadly as she clung to his shoulders.

Five sighed. “Dammit, Vivie, you almost killed yourself. Why were you looking for me?”

“Because I don’t like sleeping alone,” she whined again, her eyes half closed. “And I think my fever’s back.”

“You need to stay in bed. I was going to sleep on the couch to give you more space, but if you want me to sleep up there I will. Come on.”

Five helped her back up the stairs and into their bedroom again, helping her into bed. Then he went and got more medicine for her fever and made sure she took it. After she was settled in, he climbed in with her. He wasn’t really excited about being that close to her in her diseased state, but he also couldn’t deny her anything. So, if she wanted him sleeping next to her, he’d oblige. Even if it meant he may contract the Ebola virus, or whatever the hell she had.

Viv snuggled up next to him, her arm thrown across his bare stomach, and quickly fell asleep again. Five laid awake for another hour, not wanting to move in case he disturbed her while listening to her snoring until he finally fell asleep.

The next day, she wasn’t much better, and Five continued to take care of her, despite her frequent attempts at trying to leave the bedroom. Every time Viv would sneak out, Five would stop her, annoyed, and blink her back into bed; even if she did threaten to throw up on him. She tried to bring her laptop to bed to work on some reports for work, but Five took it and hid it away. If she pretended she was getting a book to read, but was really checking her phone for any messages, he would find her and snatch it out of her hand with a stern look.

Five also continued making her comfort foods, like soup, and bread, and mashed potatoes. And while Viv loved all of it, and was thankful he was taking such good care of her, she had to tell him several times that taking an hour to make some buttered noodles because “they weren’t al dente” was insane. But Five just gave her a look that suggested “don’t fuck with me” and stood there with crossed arms while he made sure she ate at least a few bites.

On the third day, Vivian was feeling slightly better and was at least able to sit up in bed, watch some TV, and eat a little more. Sometime in the afternoon, Viv couldn’t sleep anymore, but she wanted Five to lie next to her. Even though he acted like he was doing her a big favor, he secretly loved that his wife wanted him near her. So, Five stretched out next to her in his black sweatpants and plain white t-shirt with his crossword puzzle, while she watched old episodes of 90s TV shows in her faded cat pajamas.

Four days in, and Viv was getting restless. She no longer had a fever, but she still was not feeling completely like her normal self again. The boredom was starting to set in.

“Five…” she whined. “I’m fine. I can go back to work, I swear. I am not dying.”

“Maybe not, but even if you’re feeling better, if you go back to work now you’ll just end up sicker again. Your body needs time to heal.”

Viv cocked her head to the side. “And since when did you become an expert in all things medically related?”

“Since I was raised by a robot mother programmed to recognize every slight decline in my health, and treat it accordingly so that I could perform at peak physical strength.”

“Oh, right, I forgot. You know, not everything has to be a competition as to whose childhood was harder. I once fractured my elbow falling off the monkey bars on the playground and my parents still made me go to gym class the next day.”

Five raised one eyebrow. “I once was two hours deep into training, accidentally fell off a ten-foot tall ledge with a miss-timed blink, and ended up breaking my collarbone, left ankle, and right wrist at the same time. I still had to participate in the next day’s mission.” He gave her a cocky smirk. “Took down two, full-grown men that day. Barely broke a sweat.”

“I find this very hard to believe.”

“Which part? My superhuman tolerance for pain, or my ability to remain a total badass while suffering several broken bones?”

Viv smiled. “I bet you were so cute in your little uniform, beating up bad guys. All feral and foaming at the mouth; like a miniature, teleporting Hulk in knee socks.”

“Make fun all you want. The girls loved it.”

Viv rolled her eyes. “Now I know you’re full of shit.”

“Regardless, you’re staying put. End of story.”

With a coy smile, she took Five’s wrist in her hand and ran a finger inside his palm, batting her eyelashes even though her eyes were still watering and had dark circles under them. “You know I love it when you boss me around.”

He cupped her chin in his other hand. “I know very well that you do, angel. And normally the little act of seduction you’re trying for right now would work, but not today. Get back to bed.”

With a pout and an annoyed sigh, Viv dropped his hand and the subject before stomping back to bed.

Later that day, Five was keeping her company in bed since she claimed she had read everything she wanted to and watched all of the dumb shows she could handle. And since he still wouldn’t let her have her work computer back, she made him hang out with her. Five sat propped up against the headboard while Viv sat between his legs, with her back against his chest and her head against his shoulder. He stroked her hair idly while they talked quietly and she rested. Periodically, he would give her little kisses on her head and she would smile with her eyes closed.

“Are you comfortable, my love? Do you need me to bring you anything?”

She shook her head and smiled up at him. “If someone had told me years ago that Five Hargreeves, the deadly assassin, would be making me homemade soup and babying me while I was sick, I would have laughed in their face.”

He looked down at her, the tug at the corner of his mouth betraying the seriousness he was going for. “Do you see what you have done to me? I’m like a former stray dog that you lured inside with treats and then neutered.”

“If by ‘lured inside with treats’, you mean I fucked the bitch out of you, then yeah I guess so.”

“I’m not a bitch,” he answered sharply.

Viv laughed. “I know you’re not…not anymore. And you are most definitely not neutered. The whole reason I kept you around was for your amazing sexual skill set, so there would be no benefit to getting rid of that function.”

“Amazing, huh?”

She patted his leg. “You may have been a jerk sometimes, but you definitely were, and still are, very good in the sack.”

Five chuckled, resumed running his fingers through her soft hair, and was quiet for a few seconds. That’s when Vivian felt a very prominent and very familiar object rising up from Five’s pants and poking her in the back. Her eyes flew open and she sat straight up, turning to look at him with her mouth agape.

“Five, oh my god! You cannot be serious right now.”

He couldn’t help laughing, even as he tried to defend himself. “I’m sorry! But you’re talking about me fucking you and your ass is pressed into my crotch. I have no control over these things.”

“Wow, that is just…”

“Impressive?”

Viv shook her head. “No, I was going to say bad timing for you. My head still feels like it’s stuffed with cotton and I haven’t showered in over 24 hours, so that is 100% your problem now.”

Five shrugged. “You know I’m very efficient. I can have this taken care of in two minutes. Three, tops.”

“I’m very glad that only applies to your solo missions and not anything where I’m involved.”

He gave her a wink and smile. “You’re welcome,” and then he was gone; disappearing into one of his portals to presumably handle the situation somewhere else.

After another whole day of Vivian being forced to stay in bed and Five insisting it was medically necessary, she was finally feeling like her old self again. Her color had returned and she had her energy back. Five even let her check her work emails. She had to laugh because even though he was irritating and obsessive, he was doing all of it because he loved her so much. And any time she was reminded of that, she loved him that much more in return.

Five was sitting in an armchair in the living room, reading a book, when Viv came in and stood behind him, bending over so that she could give him a kiss on the cheek. Five gave her a smile, but when her hands slid down the inside of his shirt and over his bare chest, he suddenly became much more interested. He let his book fall to the ground.

“Hello, darling,” he said as Viv continued to snake her hands over his pecs. “Feeling better, I see.”

She nodded and kissed the side of his neck. “Thanks to you. You took such good care of me, that I thought it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t return the favor in some way.” She switched sides and gave him another kiss on the neck, making him suck in a sharp breath. “Let me thank you properly, Daddy,” she purred next to his ear as she opened the top few buttons of his shirt.

“And how to you propose to do that, angel?” he teased, even though he could hardly contain himself.

Viv kept one hand on him, running it over his shoulders as she walked around to face him. That’s when Five almost lost his mind. She was wearing a very skimpy pair of black thong panties paired with a sheer black bra that pushed her tits up. The pair of black stilettos she wore accentuated her calves and butt, and once Five could take his eyes off her body, he noticed she had added the red lipstick that he loved. His mouth hung open for a second before he swallowed hard.

“Holy shit…” he breathed out as she sat sideways across his lap, draping an arm over his shoulder and lightly twisting her fingers into his hair in the back. “I don’t think I did that much to deserve this. You look incredible.”

Viv smiled. “This is just part of your thank you present. The rest is getting to decide what to do with it.”

She leaned in and placed a kiss on his exposed collarbone before undoing another button on his shirt. Five closed his eyes and a quiet and rather embarrassing moan crept out. His hand was already rubbing across her smooth thigh and he tilted his head back as she continued to stain his neck and chest with red lip marks.

“What do you want, Daddy?” she whispered seductively in between kisses. “I’ll do anything for you.”

“Anything?” Five managed to croak out as he squeezed her leg. “Fuck…”

His brain was scrambled with roughly eight million ideas running around in his head with that little invitation. He couldn’t think straight, not with her lips traveling over his chest while tugging his shirt out from his pants, unbuttoning it all the way so that she could run her hands down his stomach. When she let out a tiny moan and kissed his mouth, licking lightly at his bottom lip, Five couldn’t stand it anymore. If he was going to get back the use of even one of his brain cells, he needed to be the one in charge again.

With a hand circling her throat lightly, Five pulled back from her kiss. When he had her eyes locked on his, he applied just a little more pressure to her neck.

“On your knees,” he demanded in that tone of voice that drove Viv crazy.

When she immediately slid off his lap and onto the floor between his legs, she looked up at him, blinking innocently and waiting for further instructions. He lovingly fixed a piece of stray hair and tucked it behind her ear. Then he took his thumb and wiped away a smudge of lipstick from the corner of her mouth. He kept his hand on her chin, holding her in place while he talked to her.

“I want you to suck my cock. I want to feel the back of your throat and you better not let up unless I say so. Understand?”

Viv nodded and was already in the process of undoing his pants; a small smile on her face. She looked up at him under dark lashes. “Whatever you say, Daddy.”

As soon as her mouth was on him, Five couldn’t help it. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and pushed his hips up, driving his dick deeper into her throat until she was gagging. But she didn’t let up, just like he told her, as she took him in all the way to the base and ran her tongue up the underside of his shaft. Five laid his head back with a loud groan and closed his eyes.

“God damn it, that’s perfect,” he moaned. “Don’t stop.”

After another couple minutes of intensely fucking his wife’s face, Five untangled his hand from her hair and let her up. When she sat back on her knees, her face smeared with the same red lipstick that was now all over his dick, breathing hard and blinking up at him, Five lost what little control he had been clinging to. His carefully mapped out plans that he had crafted inside his head immediately vanished and his caveman instincts took over.

“Up,” he growled, before grabbing her by her arm and pulling her up with him as he stood up. “You are getting fucked.”

Before she had anytime to either respond or process what she was being told, Viv was being dragged through a portal of time and space, ending up in their bedroom. Five immediately wrestled his clothes off while she tried to regain her balance again. Then he abruptly picked her up, holding her under her thighs, and threw her onto the bed. He smirked when she squealed but was on top of her in one second, his mouth already hungrily sucking and biting at her skin.

Viv arched her back as Five ran his tongue over the see-through fabric of her bra, scraping his teeth over her nipples and leaving purple bruises all over her chest. He was frantic in his marking of her body. He wanted to claim her as his and even though he knew she already was, he still wanted to see the proof. As she whined and moaned underneath him, Five continued down her abdomen.

“That’s my good girl; nice and wet for Daddy,” he praised as he shoved his hand between her legs and pushed aside her panties, entering her with two fingers.

She let out a whimper as he immediately removed his fingers again, letting them slide up through her folds and onto her clit before taking them away completely. Without another word, Five grabbed her hips and flipped her over, pushing her upper body down with a hand between her shoulder blades and pulling her ass up and towards him. He gave her a hard smack and she clenched the sheet underneath her in her fists.

“Damn, this body of yours. You were just made to be fucked,” he hissed between clenched teeth as he spanked her again, just as hard.

Not even bothering to remove her thong, Five shoved it aside and slammed his cock into her, penetrating her in one hard thrust until he was deep inside. His fingers dug into the flesh on either side of her hips and he held her tightly against him while he groaned loudly from the feeling. Viv breathed in sharply, and Five paused to make sure she was still ok with everything.

“Are you doing ok, my love?” he asked before continuing to ruin her.

She nodded, lifting her head and glancing over her shoulder with a smile. “Go for it, Daddy. Make it hurt.”

“Fuck, I love you,” Five groaned, right before he pulled back and rammed into her again.

Her body pitched forward with each punishing thrust as Five fucked her fast and hard; her screams and moans getting louder the harder he pushed. A thin sheen of sweat was forming on his chest and face, his hair hanging over his eyes and sticking to his damp forehead. He knew he probably was hurting her a little, he was going at her so intensely, but he trusted her to let him know if it got to be too much. And so far, she just seemed to want more.

The tight, velvety walls that surrounded his rock-hard cock felt like heaven, and with each drive inside of her, the closer he got to his threshold.

“Vivie,” he said in between heaving breaths. “Oh fuck, you feel so good…ah, fuuuck!”

Five let himself go, coming inside of her with one last jerk of his hips against her ass, at the same time that her own intense orgasm ripped through her body, sending shivers and spasms throughout every muscle. Her loud cries and whimpers eventually died down and she let her body relax as Five pulled out.

He gave her a kiss on her shoulder before collapsing next to her on the bed. Viv lay on her stomach and turned her head to look at him, her hair tangled and covering half her face.

“Nice work there, Daddy,” she said with a grin.

Five laughed, even as he continued to try and catch his breath. “Thanks. Not so bad yourself.” He traced a finger lightly over her hip and over the thin string of the thong she was still wearing. “I don’t know where you got these, but holy shit, are you trying to kill me, woman?”

Viv laughed and buried her face in her pillow before looking back at him. “No, I am not trying to kill you. I just thought you might like them.”

Five pulled her to him, kissing her ravaged lips and smoothing down her wild hair. “I really, really fucking like them. I just hope you don’t get sick again from all of that activity. Maybe you overdid yourself.”

She settled in against him and kissed his still-damp chest. “Well, if I do, I know I’m in good hands. You always know how to take care of me, Five, in more ways than one.”

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