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seuonji · 1 year ago

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彡 things they left with you before leaving for tour.

notes ๑ gift giving! headcanons. reader and svt member does not live together!

genre ๑ fluff

warnings ๑ none

word count ๑ 1k

from aya: please reblog if you enjoyed! feedback is always appreciated<3

seungcheol left you the key to his home.

you’re free to go there whenever you want but he mainly gave it so that you have access to his closet!! it’s also to allow you to see kkuma.

whenever you’re there you always send him a selfie to show how the house is doing. he especially loves the photos that contains you and kkuma on his bed.

yn: [photo attachment]

yn: i changed kkuma’s hairpin today, doesn’t she look cute?

cheol: you both look adorable♡

jeonghan left you tons of his oversized shirts.

tons as in it could probably last you until he comes back. but he leaves the ones that hold some type of meaning.

he’d totally give you a whole presentation while unpacking the clothes on why he’s giving it to you.

he left you the shirt that he wore on your first date. he left you another shirt that you complimented. another one he left was one that you described as, ‘looks very comfortable.’ another was in your favourite colour while another was in your least favourite colour,, he asked you to send him photos of you specifically in that one.

he gave them with the intention that though he’s not there, you won’t feel alone at night.

he loves it when he calls and sees you wearing them!

joshua left you countless of letters he wrote.

just in case he’s not on his phone enough, to keep his presence with you, he wrote different letters. one for you to read when you’re sad, one for when you felt doubtful, another for when you felt scared.

he wrote letters for any feeling you may feel while he’s gone whether it was sorrow, anger or joy.

one day you were missing him, a lot. so you opened the letter that had ‘read when you feel alone.’ written on it.

‘yn, you’re feeling alone? cause im not there, right( ˊ̱uˋ̱ )?‘ he joked with you even through writing. ‘i know it’s a long wait but i’ll be back soon and we’ll be in bed watching movies together. i’m always thinking about you. i may not be one call away because…what if i’m on stage? but you’re still my number one priority, i hope you know that.’

it’s just long texts of reassurance that he loves you and suggestions of things you can do while you wait for him and honestly, as you read the letters, the more it felt like he was actually there.

jun left you a polaroid.

he aswell provided the films but the films were the same amount as the number of days he’d be gone.

he asked you take a picture of something everyday whether it was the scenery or something you were doing. you could either label them or keep it in a photo card binder. he wants you to talk about it with him when he comes back.

total plus if you like journaling/photography!!

soonyoung left you a heart locket necklace.

it had funny pictures of you and him on one side and the other side had a picture of you two cuddling.

he has a matching one of course! his one has so many scratches because of how much he kept opening it.

notably, he left you a cute tiger plush that was almost your size.

“think of him as if he’s me.”

“that’s weird youngie…”

idk why but initially i imagined he’d leave you a body pillow with him printed on it.

wonwoo left you his console so that you can help him keep up with his games. just kidding.

if you like reading, he definitely leaves you some books he’s collected over the years. he’d even buy books that are of your taste if his isn’t your style. he gave it so that you’d have something to preoccupy your time.

if you aren’t too into reading, he left you things that supports the hobbies you do. if you like art, he buys you paint, if you like knitting he’d buy you yarn. he finds joy in your passion.

jihoon left you a usb filled with movies and shows on it. he even provided snacks!

he loved hearing your opinions about shows/movies he liked. since you two were going to be apart, he thought you’d have more time to watch them.

when you did watch the said movie/show, he’d instantly call and listen to your opinions intently. he might end up falling for you all over again! but also it could end up in an endless banter—

“what did you think of that character?“ he asked excitedly but there was a touch of tiredness in his voice.

“they were okay,” you casually answered.

“just okay!?” suddenly the tiredness was gone.

“i said what i said!”

seokmin left you a jar filled with origami hearts, cranes, airplanes, stars and even some of your favourite animals.

as you unfold them, there’s small messages written in them. it had messages of affirmations to song/food/movie recommendations.

he looks forward to your response to the letter you opened that day.

“the one i opened today was a good one,” you said smiling.

“really, what’s wrong with the other ones? why aren’t they as good?” he asked in a whining tone.

“the one i opened yesterday said ‘listen to aju nice by seventeen.’” you recalled monotonously.

“what’s wrong with that?”

“anyways the one i opened today said to ‘eat pizza while thinking about me.’” you brushed off the previous topic.

“ah, that’s a good one, even i’m jealous.”

“you wrote it?”

“still, why would you have pizza without me…”

also, he made tons of it lasted even until he came back.

mingyu left you a cookbook of things he usually cooks for you.

the first few pages were your favourite meals hes cooked for you. they’re key parts are highlighted in your favourite colours and he even places in affirmations in free spaces. the middle pages are random meals you don’t necessarily like but,, he needed to fill in the pages. the last few pages are your favourite deserts!

minghao left you the experience of having permanent bracelets with someone.

he brought you to the store and you got a bracelet in his in his favourite colour as he got one with yours. you both spent hours just admiring the way it shined and he couldn’t stop taking pictures of it.

“now, no matter the distance, you’ll still have a piece of me that’s always with you,” he said.

seungkwan left you a self care pack.

there was skincare products, your favourite snacks and cds of your favourite films. they were each labelled with tags of why he gave those specific items.

‘you’ve always liked these, enjoy them.’ labelled on the snacks.

‘please use this, take care of your skin okay?’ labelled on the skincare.

‘don’t get too bored just cause im not there.” labelled on the cds

it’s as if he was taking care of you without because there.

vernon left you a pet fish (?)

questionable but at least you’re not completely alone. also he got consent before he bought it so, it was okay. but he also left you some of his jackets and beanies but if it was summer he’d leave you baseball caps. yknow, the sensible gifts.

it’s the thought that counts!

whenever he gets the time he’d call you to check on the fish.

and you as well, of course.

chan left you a box full of snacks.

he’s bringing the same snacks with him in his bag. he plans to call you every night so you two can talk about your day while eating the same snacks so that it seems like you two are together.

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reidsbabyhoney · 2 months ago

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hi love!

saw that you write for hozier, and was wondering if you could write something fluffy. maybe since the tour is ending soon, maybe him coming home for the first time in a while?

in which andrew is finally back from tour and you couldn't be happier.

pairing: hoizer x fem!reader category: fluff cw: tiniest bit of angst if you squint. he walks out in a towel and reader has some interesting thoughts. no use of y/n. wc: 1.3k a/n: thank you so much for requesting! this was so much fun to write, I was listening to 'unknown' when this request came in so it is very lightly inspired by that. and by very lightly I mean I took inspiration from the line 'you know the distance never made a difference to me'. this is my first time writing in a while so please be kind. lots of love!! (also he looks so cute in this picture, I can't get over it.)

You were basically buzzing with anticipation. Having to stay in Wicklow for work had its ups and downs. One of the most notable downs was that when Andrew went away for tour, there were long gaps you would go without seeing each other.

You had seen him two months ago when he had the smallest break from tour, and you called almost every night updating each other on your days. Usually, you'd fall asleep on the phone due to the time difference, but he had the habit of carrying his phone with your sleeping face covering the screen until you woke up. Recalling the time you woke up when he was in the middle of a concert, his phone being propped up on a stand off to the side of the stage.

But today Andrew was finally coming home. No more music festivals to perform at, no more concerts to hold, no more award shows to attend. He would finally be all yours.

You felt a bit guilty, knowing how much he loved performing and seeing his fans, but you were counting down the seconds until he walked through the doors of your shared home.

The clock was inching closer to 6pm, which was the time Andrew said he would be home. Never being someone who had patience for much, you were sitting outside on the porch swing you insisted he install a few years ago.

Finally a black car pulled into the driveway and Andrew stepped out. Sprinting to him like there was an Olympic medal to be won at the end of your journey you jumped into his arms once you reached him.

"Missed you so much love." he says into your hair as he holds you up, making sure you don't fall from his tight grip around your waist.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're finally home." you say as hugging him tightly as if he would disappear from your hold.

Letting go, you get a good look at him and see his hair seemed to grow a bit longer in the two months you were apart. Though, he also seemed to have given up on the routine you've tried to have him stick to since you started dating.

"You're hairs grown." You admire how beautiful he looks, but that might just be because your boyfriend is a 6 '6 Irish man that looks like he came from the woodlands of a fairytale.

"Hm, you like it?" he questions looking into your eyes for a second before putting you down onto solid ground.

"I love it." With that, you make your way up the steps of the house, one of his lighter bags in hand.

Andrew follows close behind you into the house, not missing how every inch spotless and nearly reflective.

Andrew knew you well, too well sometimes. He knew that you got anxious when he was away, and that made him feel both relieved and guilty. Relieved because he was finally home and could hold you in his arms. Guilty because he was away for so long.

Sneaking up behind you, he rests his head on your shoulder as he wraps his arm around you.

"Y'know I'm home for good right. Got my studio right here and the label already knows I won't release a new album for a few years. I'm all your’s angel."

At his words you melt into him. "I know, but you know how I get when you're away. Especially when you're flying. Was just worried is all."

He plants a soft kiss at the top of your head at your response. Turning around in his arms you look up at him and see how tired he really is.

"Y'know I love you with my whole heart, but you really should get in the shower so we can eat."

He lets out a huff, releasing you from his grip. Turning to make his way upstairs you get the ingredients out to make a simple pasta dish. Something you know will be filling for you both.

You're nearly done with dinner, the sauce being the only thing that needs to be seasoned and you realized Andrew still hasn't come from your bedroom. He isn't one to take long in the shower so you begin to worry. Quickly throwing in the final seasoning of oregano and thyme into the sauce, you lower the heat on both burners being used, and make your way up the stairs to look for your boyfriend.

Stepping into your shared bedroom, you're met with a cloud of mist as the connecting door to the bathroom opens. Seeing your boyfriend walk out in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist made your two months of celibacy very known throughout your body.

"I see some drool slipping past your lips, love, best wipe it away before whoever it is you're lusting after knows." he teases lightly, before he walks to the dresser to grab some clothes to change into.

Shaking the thoughts out of your head as an embarrassed blush grows over your face, you clear your throat quickly as a recovery.

"The food’s done downstairs whenever you're ready?" It comes out as more a question than a statement, still flustered over your boyfriend's appearance.

Andrew turns his head slightly and gives you a knowing smirk, "I'll be down right after I change."

With that you leave him to change and quickly make your way downstairs.

Still a bit flustered once you get to the kitchen, you make a plate for each of you, putting them down in your designated spots at the dining room table, sitting next to each other.

You hear Andrew before you see him, softly humming the tune of ‘Unknown/Nth’.

Taking a seat next to you, he rests his hand on your thigh before digging into the food.

Acting like a man starved, he basically inhales his food before you've even finished half of yours.

"Do they not feed you properly in America or what." you ask, eyes basically popping out of your head, surprised he's already finished his plate

"Nothing could beat a home cooked meal of yours." he says, giving you a brief kiss on the cheek before getting up to rinse his dish.

Finishing your own plate, you walk over to the sink where Andrew stands.

"Leave your plate angel. I'll clean the kitchen, you can go get ready for bed. Know you're tired." he says as a yawn slips from his mouth.

Going up on your tiptoes, you leave a sloppy kiss on his cheek with a smile and head towards the bathroom to take a quick shower.

Nearly falling asleep while rinsing out your hair, you quickly wash your body. and finish your shower. Stepping out, you cover yourself in a towel before opening the door to grab some pajamas to wear. Pajamas that consist of one of Andrew's shirts and a pair of sleep shorts.

Climbing into bed you wait for Andrew to come up to bed.

Closing your eyes for what you think is just a second, you're woken up when he crawls into bed, obviously trying not to disturb you and failing.

"Sorry love, was just coming to sleep."

Rolling over so you’re facing him, you wait for him to get comfortable in the bed before crawling into his arms. If you could crawl into his skin that's what you would be doing right now.

"Missed you so much, 'm so glad you're finally home."

Releasing a small breath, he brings you closer to him, -if that was even physically possible- and plants another kiss on your forehead. "Me too, angel, me too. Next time I'm dragging you on tour with me."

With a small laugh, you let your body rest against his and sleep consumes you.

Feeling the exhaustion finally hit him, Andrew gets a good night's rest for the first time in what felt like years. His love in his arms. He's sure that not even oceans away performing in arenas he would dream of selling out as a child, could beat the feeling of having you fast asleep in his arms.

all notes and reposts are appreciated!! loving you always xx

#hozier x reader #andrew hozier byrne #my fics #reidsbabyhoney #hozier fluff #fic recs #request #fluff

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whenmemorydies · 5 months ago

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Lessons of a mentor: every second counts

The Bear brainrot continues unabated and a character that has been sitting at the back of my mind since I first watched 2x07 Forks has been Chef Terry. Her influence is felt in a multitude of ways throughout season 2, most notably via the impact she's had on her former chefs, Carmen and Luca. What fascinates me more about Chef Terry though are the parallels between her and Syd and the home truths that both these powerhouse women keep dropping (and which many a loudmouth dude on this show keep missing...*womp*).

Lots more under the cut. This is a long post but this show is so bloody juicy I couldn't help myself!

Who is Chef Terry?

So quick recap: Chef Terry is the Executive Chef at Ever, a 3-Michelin starred restaurant in Chicago, loosely based on and shot on location at the actual Ever. In the show, the restaurant opened in 2012 and was awarded "the best restaurant in the world" that same year.

In 2x07 Forks as Richie walks past portraits of Ever's alumni, we learn that both Carmen and Chef Luca (now based in Copenhagen, Denmark) both worked at the restaurant together, under Chef Terry. This is previously hinted at in 2x04 Honeydew when Luca talks to Marcus about working with a chef who worked "harder and faster than [Luca] ever could," and who inadvertently pushed Luca to get "better than [Luca] possibly could be, just from trying to keep up with him."

Chefs Carmen and Luca at Ever.

In 2x07 Forks, we get Chef Terry's origin story as she recounts it to Richie, who Carmy has sent to Ever to stage for a week. We learn that:

Chef Terry, like Richie and Syd, is an only child. She likely had a tense relationship with her father (who we learn was a Corporal in the military) before he passed, but is incredibly close with her mother, her only living parent.

Carm getting Richie a spot to stage at Ever was not a favour because Chef Terry doesn't do favours:

Chef Terry is quick to praise folks who try to learn. Note when she asks Richie if he'd like to peel mushrooms with her and she tells him that his first attempt is great (despite the fact that process-wise, he peels them in the exact opposite direction she does):

She had previously tried to open "a giant place" years ago when she was younger, and by her own description, "was on fire [and was] arrogant." Chef Terry then says she moved too fast and couldn't keep the place open.

She later opened Ever after coming across the building's "For Lease" sign while walking.

Its clear from her conversation with Richie about Ever's beginnings that Chef Terry is a firm believer in it never being too late to try again:

But for me, the most important thing we learn about Chef Terry in the 5 minutes she's on screen with us, is her belief in time being well spent. When Richie first sees Chef Terry, she's quietly peeling mushrooms by herself in the kitchen. When Richie asks her why she's doing this work, instead of a stage, we get this lovely bit of dialogue:

Chef Terry then goes on to tell Richie about her father and how he kept pocket notebooks in which he made hundreds of entries about different experiences while he was on military tour.

While Chef Terry never tells Richie how her father signed off on each of his pocket notebook entries, its implied by the end of the episode, that The Bear's mantra of "every second counts" originates from those very notebooks.

This was revelatory to me. Up until Chef Terry and Richie's conversation in 2x07 Forks, "every second counts" in this show was synonymous with Carmy's "sense of urgency", taped to the pass in 1x02 Hands and tattooed across his knuckles in the form of "S O U".

Prior to 2x07 Forks, "every second counts" was wrapped up in the frenetic pace of a restaurant's back of house, with Mikey dying well before his time and by his own hand, with the panicked need to fix the regret and broken-heartedness that accompanied years of estrangement, with Donna's litany of cooking timers going off every other minute in a kitchen covered in chaos and passata. It had to do with time slipping away and the persistent, but always losing battle to try and steal it back.

But in Chef Terry's conversation with Richie, it is made clear to the audience that the lesson in "every second counts" is not about speed or clawing anything back. Those notebook entries were not made for any other reason than to describe, remember, and step into a moment. Chef Terry peels mushrooms at first light in her restaurant because it attaches her to her work and connects her to those whose bellies she fills with her food. "Every second counts" is about savouring every second that we have, while we have it, and being present in each of those moments, as much as we can.

Its about realising that every second does count because every second has meaning.

Time spent informed by this knowledge, is time well spent.

Lessons and Parallels with Sydney

Like Chef Terry, Sydney also tried to run her own business, Sheridan Road, but it "got too big too fast", and she was unable to keep up with its demands. As she tells Carmy in 1x05 Sheridan,

My credit got destroyed. I mean, my whole shit got rocked.

The failures of both of their respective businesses pushed both women into the depths of existential crisis. Chef Terry tells Richie how she had been "unemployed, angry, depressed", and "blaming everybody else for all the time I'd lost."

While Sydney never makes an admission like this about the fallout of Sheridan Road, the depth of the impact of that failure on her is clearly apparent in the show, most notably in 2x09 Omelette. In this episode, Syd's father Emmanuel asks her why she is putting so much pressure on herself to be successful with The Bear. Syd responds, its because she doesn't know if she could start another business.

Later in the same episode, we hear Syd's even more vulnerable admission to Carm about her fear of failure, under that pretense for intimacy table.

Like Chef Terry, Sydney does not do favours. Recall when she fixed Tina's bouquet garni-infused cream in 1x04 Dogs after the latter kept ignoring Syd's advice on how to prep the mashed potatoes and ended up ruining her first batch of cream in the process:

Also, bonus Fak attack (lol) from the same episode:

But also like Chef Terry, Syd is generous with her praise when folks try - as opposed to only praising those who succeed. The praise is for the attempt in the moment to grow, not in the growth itself. Recall in 1x02 Hands as Syd calls out orders to Ebra, he falters and says back the wrong count. Syd gently corrects him and Ebra tries again, after which Syd says,

Gorgeous. Thank you, chef.

Its a small moment, but its one of the first times we hear the word "gorgeous" used inside The Beef. You can literally see Carmy's shock at the utterance, at the firm kindness of the exchange between Syd and Ebra. I personally like to think this might also be a moment of recognition for him, where he sees an echo of his mentor, Terry, in the woman he's about to hire as his sous chef.

And finally, of all the characters on this show, the one who seems to best understand that every second counts because every second has meaning, is Sydney. To me this is epitomised by her omnipresent notebooks in which she's always writing, clearly echoing Chef Terry's father and his will to remember the detail.

Sydney's question to her father in 2x09 Omelette is also indicative to me of a person who understands that each moment we have on this tiny blue dot is precious. When Emmanuel tells her that he doesn't think she needs to make everything "the thing" because she will always have his support, Sydney asks him,

Why can't we put everything that we have into everything that we can?

I've no doubt that Sydney's ethos, embodied by this question, is the result of the passing of her mother when she was a child. With that loss, Sydney would have learned from a young age that every second is important. She knows that you can't get more time, so you make the most of that which you have. Or in her words, you put everything you have, into everything that you can.

Its striking to me how differently Syd and Carm have interpreted the intention behind "every second counts" in the context of death and bereavement. Sydney moves through life with a drive borne out of knowing that our lives are finite and so every second contains the potential for possibility. Its why she had the guts to start her own business, had the optimism to apply to work at The Beef under a culinary hero, and had the hope to take a punt with The Bear.

In contrast to this, Carmy rails against time: at the time that he lost with Mikey, at the seconds that he might lose with each hiccup that delays a plate on the pass. For him, there's never enough time because it is constantly being snatched away.

He tells us in 2x03 Sundae that he struggles with being present in the moment and open to the world because he is always waiting for "the other shoe to drop",

I have to remind myself to breathe sometimes. I have to remind myself to be present, you know. Remind myself that the sky is not falling, that there is no other shoe. Which is incredibly difficult because there is always another shoe. I dunno, I think, you know maybe if I could provide more-more-more amusement or-or enjoyment for myself, it would be easier to provide for others, you know.

This isn't to say that Carmy isn't trying. Throughout the show, we've seen glimpses of him stopping to sit within a moment: his making time to talk to Richie about purpose in 2x01 Beef, his constant beckoning to Sydney to "say more" in both seasons 1 and 2, his return to art and drawing in season 2 - an act that physically forces you to slow down and observe detail, his repeated attempts to check in with Natalie about how she's doing despite his discomfort at the question, and most obviously, taking the time to softly, intentionally and unhurriedly comfort a worried Sydney with less than 25 minutes to open on the opening night of their restaurant.

To me, there are a number of reasons why its no surprise that Carmy is drawn to Sydney. I've mentioned a few here in this reply to @mod-doodles. Chief among them though are her consistency, her stability, and her integrity, all informed by Sydney's ethos of putting everything she has into everything she can; into making every second count, just like Carm would have seen his mentor Chef Terry do while he was at Ever.

I reckon Carmy's ultimate challenge in The Bear is going to be getting to the realisation that Chefs Terry, Sydney and even Luca (recall his chat about "openness" with Marcus in 2x04 Honeydew) have already reached: that because every second counts, happiness and peace - indeed amusement and enjoyment - are to be found in the doing, in the process, in the getting there, together. I'm sure by the end of our journey with these lovingly crafted characters, Carm will get there too.

Author's note:

Incidental to the above is this show's God-tier level casting. Storer and Calo have made it a point to cast famous and immensely talented actors in some of the smallest parts on this show...why? I'm thinking specifically of the casting of Jamie Lee Curtis as matriarch/walking emotional vortex Donna Berzatto and Olivia Colman as Capo/Chef Terry. Jamie Lee Curtis appears in The Bear throughout one full episode (2x06 Fishes) and in one scene (with everyone's favourite unproblematic king, Pete) in 2x10 The Bear. Olivia Colman appears in the show for just under 5 minutes, at the end of 2x07 Forks.

I reckon that, while the speaking parts for these characters are relatively small compared to other roles in The Bear, the casting choices here are reflective of the impact of these two characters on Carmen (in particular) and others on the show. The showrunners needed to cast folks whose reputations would precede them in order to instil in us, the audience, the same gravity of their presence as would be felt by the characters in the world of The Bear.

Donna Berzatto:

Donna's impact on the psyches of her children is huge. For evidence of this, watch the faces of Carmen, Natalie and Mikey whenever they're in proximity to their mother in 2x06 Fishes. They are constantly watching her, gauging her reactions and her levels. This is most clearly the case for Natalie who spends most of Fishes in a state of panicked fear, anticipating her mother's every move. Who better to cast as the anxiety-inducing-word-slurring-flirtatious-alcoholic Berzatto matriarch than scream queen, 80s/90s sex symbol and survivor of intergenerational substance abuse, Jamie Lee Curtis?

Chef Terry:

In contrast to Donna, Terry is a stable, consistent force of nature who has mentored successive waves of chefs that have walked through Ever's halls. She's overcome setbacks and had to relaunch herself, doing so with great success, while remaining grounded. While Olivia Colman's been plugging at acting on screen for over twenty years, she didn't reach the height of fame that she's currently enjoying until much later in her career and her life. By many public accounts, she's an incredibly talented, kind and down to earth A-lister. Also this interview with her is so Chef Terry coded I wouldn't be surprised if Calo and Storer read it and offered her the role the next day:

“There’s some amazing actors who don’t get asked back because they don’t behave very nicely,” she said. “Learn your lines, try and know everyone’s name, be on time … There’s a million people who would have your job in a second and more … who are better than you. Take your job seriously and not yourself.”

Without naming names, Colman said: “We all have actor stories of people who were unpleasant, unkind, ungenerous – and it goes around.”

Nor should actors ever become too grand to take on even a short film, she suggested: “Some people might think: ‘I don’t do that any more.’ I think that’s exciting to do. You’re going to meet new people or a new writer who might remember you later on … [Do] not get too up yourself, too grand. Work is work. If I now decided: ‘Oh, I will only do feature films,’ I might not work again.

“If you get accolades for something, enjoy it for a bit, but put it aside and pretend that hasn’t happened a week later. You still need to work and no one else will remember it either after a week. So crack on.”

Yes, Jamie Lee Curtis and Olivia Colman are fantastic actresses who could have acted the pants off their respective roles without their own personal backstories and filmographies doing any lifting...but given the limited time that they're on screen, having actresses who can bring all of that history and shorthand to the role is GOLD for quickly creating meaning and depth for the audience.

As soon as Donna first turned that corner in the kitchen in 2x06 Fishes chaotically balancing a tray of branzino in one hand and a cigarette in the other, yammering about spilling shit everywhere, I knew I was in for a ride. Likewise, as soon as Chef Terry gently suggested where Richie might find the polish he was looking for (instead of biting his head off because he was a mere stage and she was Capo), I knew I needed to be seated for the lesson that 2x07 Forks had been building up to all episode (and indeed that Richie's entire character arc had been building up to for almost two seasons). And phew...did these two brilliant women absolutely deliver.

K that's the end. If you made it this far, DM me because you are probably incredibly patient, kind and like to read and I need more of that energy in my life LOL. Thanks for spending some of your precious time with me <3.

#the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #sydcarmy #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #carmy x sydney #carmy berzatto #the bear meta #ayo edebiri #jeremy allen white #chef terry #donna berzatto #chef luca #will poulter #olivia colman #jamie lee curtis #every second counts

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hooked-on-elvis · 9 months ago

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[BEHIND THE RECORD - Elvis onstage from 1969 to 1977] "I Can't Stop Loving You"

Written by country singer Don Gibson, who first recorded it in 1957, RCA Victor released "I Can't Stop Loving You" in 1958, and it became a country hit single. The song was covered by many artists over the years, most notable one being Ray Charles, in 1962, due to how he turned the tune into a No. 1 single on the Billboard chart.

Elvis Presley performed the song in many iconic concerts of his career - from 1969 into the 70s.

The first time Elvis Presley was recorded singing "I CAN'T STOP LOVING YOU" was during one of the American Sound Studio sessions, on February 1969. It wasn't an official recording tho. A jam version of the tune was recorded while EP was warming up with his musicians so they could cut the songs that would be released in his LPs for the times following — "From Elvis In Memphis" being the album this recording session was intending to create at first.

Not long after this recording session, "I Can't Stop Loving You" was worked up as a number to Elvis' concerts. Rearranged, the song gained a more dramatic tone than we can listen to from how it originally sounded in Elvis' voice at the recording taped at the American Sound Studio previously, so from this moment on Elvis would perform the tune in quite a few iconic concerts of the latter era of his career, the very start being during his comeback to live performances on July/August 1969, onstage at the International Hotel's showroom in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Soundboard audios with "I Can't Stop Loving You" recorded during his concerts, including in 1969, were released on some his live albums throughout the years, such as "FROM MEMPHIS TO VEGAS (IN PERSON)" [recorded in 1969], "ELVIS AS RECORDED AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN" (recorded in 1972) and "ELVIS: RECORDED LIVE ON STAGE IN MEMPHIS" (recorded in 1974).

Live performances of Elvis singing the song were also officially taped, and they are very known to the fans for obvious reasons because they are part of some of the most notable moments of Elvis' history as a performer.

First official taping of EP performing "I Can't Stop Loving You" live took place during one of his engagement seasons at the International Hotel on August, 1970, as released on "Elvis: That's The Way It Is" documentary, then again on April 1972, filmed for "Elvis On Tour" documentary, and not long after that another performance of this tune was filmed during the "Aloha From Hawaii via Satellite" concert, on January 1973.

BUT, BEFORE WE CAN GO TO THOSE FOOTAGES, HAVE YOU LISTENED TO THE JAM VERSION RECORDED IN STUDIO IN 1969?

— NOTE FROM AUTHOR I love sharing Elvis' performances of the same song over the years, but what I would really love you to listen to now is the 1969 jam version of the song we're talking about, for it sounds so different from the live performances the fans are already very familiar with. I didn't knew about this recording until a few days ago and I loved it so much that this track is the reason why I needed to talk about this song. You will read about the moment EP was recording this song soon after.

Elvis Presley in the waiting room of the American Sound Studio, early 1969.

▼ FEBRUARY, 1969: "I CAN'T STOP LOVING YOU", RECORDED AT THE AMERICAN SOUND STUDIO, MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE.

Song starts at 0:35

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Album: American Sound 1969 (2019)

It was an American Studio tradition: paying tribute to the chief with a rendition of “This Time,” a Chips Moman-penned hit for Troy Shondell in 1961. Elvis had heard about the rite, and he serenaded his producer at the start of the February session with the few lines that he knew, segueing into Don Gibson’s “It’s My Way,” a song he had asked Freddy to check out the year before. Plunking along on his acoustic guitar, laughing at his own mistakes but singing his heart out, he drew the band into another Don Gibson number, “I Can’t Stop Loving You,” which he would transform into a dramatic show-stopper six month later in Las Vegas. Excerpt from "Elvis Presley: A Life In Music" by Ernst Jorgensen and Peter Guralnick.

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— NOTE FROM AUTHOR COOL, ISN'T IT? 😍 Have you heard the 1969 jam session version before? Don't know about you but I just can't stop loving it. So, now let's hear how that baby sound onstage.

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[FOOTAGE]

LIVE PERFORMANCES OVER THE YEARS

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REHEARSAL ▼

July, 1970.

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LIVE ONSTAGE ▼

"Elvis: That's The Way It Is" (August 1970) "Elvis On Tour" (April 1972)

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"Aloha From Hawaii via Satellite" (January 14, 1973)

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RECORDED LIVE ▼

Live at Convention Center Arena, San Antonio, TX (April 18, 1972)

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Live at Madison Square Garden (June 10, 1972)

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High Sierra Theatre at the Sahara Tahoe Hotel, Nevada (May 13, 1973)

Live at Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, TN - March 1974

Song starts at 0:38:

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I can never get enough of how Elvis' history is so amazing. ♥

What are your thoughts about the jam version of "I Can't Stop Loving You" by EP? I'd love to hear from you.

By the way, do you like this track-to-track-history posts? I've written some so far but I have some others I'd like to share too. If you have any requests, any Elvis Presley songs you'd like to know more about the recording sessions or comparisons of the times a same tune was performed live by Elvis over the years, feel free to hit me with it. I sure will have great fun researching it for you.

#elvis presley #elvis #elvis the king #elvis fans #elvis history #elvis fandom #60s elvis #70s elvis #elvis music

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endlich-allein · 5 months ago

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And what about the show ?

First the organization : the queues were completely mixed up, there were no Feuer Zone wristbands. Sometimes the tickets weren't scanned, and I'm not even talking about the extremely rapid passage through security and an almost non-existent search of bags and people. In short, it was a very strange entrance...

The stadium was incredible, aesthetically beautiful and with fantastic acoustics !

The audience managed to throw an ola, I don't know if it was the first of the tour, but it feels good to get back to the good old habits.

Paul and Minni in the stands being photographed and filmed by Jens from different angles !!

What an incredible show by Rammstein ! Even though they've been touring with this show for 4 years now (with a few minor changes), it's still a fantastic experience to feel the energy of the guys and the heat of the flames !

The boys put on a perfect show, with no notable mistakes and no big surprises. Till's voice was excellent, perhaps due to the acoustics of the stadium, but it really carried far. He's as energetic as ever and seemed to enjoy being on stage. Don't believe those who say he's too old or looks tired, the photos clearly don't do him justice. He is still full of energy, directing the concert with a masterful hand. He's also fitter and has gained muscle, particularly in his arms. He's very beautiful. They are all very beautiful ❤️

Ollie showed us his ass during Puppe, he turned his back to the audience, bent down, and put his head between his legs so Till could film him.

Butcher Till twerked again... lots of cute little asses during this show 😏

Till went to visit Flake during the DRSG freeze, after stealing Schneider's drum sticks. Flake had a new hat, which probably intrigued Till who came to see him on his treadmill. They then mimed an act reminiscent of Bück Dich...

At one point Till and Paul disappeared from the stage for long seconds.

During the fancam, we saw people in costumes, boobs, and a child who will keep an indelible memory of this evening.

It seemed to me that during MHB a column of fire did not work but I am not sure.

It was a great show ! Can't wait to seeing them next week in Lyon, from the stands this time !

#rammstein #rammstein 2024 #europe stadium tour 2024 #till lindemann #flake lorenz #paul landers #christoph schneider #richard kruspe #oliver riedel

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kylieswift31 · 3 months ago

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Today was a fairytale funeral

“I have this dream my daughter in law kills me for the money. She thinks I left them in the will.”

I recently made a post about Cinderella and how the inner version of Taylor became exiled during the fearless era, and then a few hours later Taylor sang 'today was a fairytale' and 'exile' during the surprise song set on the eras tour. The combination of these two songs reveal the contrast between the dreams vs reality that Taylor faced as a young woman entering the music industry.

This is going to be another long really long post, but it's worth sticking around until the end...

The fairytale

Taylor's earlier albums heavily featured fairytale themes, especially within the fearless era. The song 'today was a fairytale' originally debuted on the valentines day movie Taylor Swift featured in, with Taylor Lautner playing her high school boyfriend. This movie follows the journey of several characters simultaneously, revealing the connections between them all along the way.

When 'today was a fairytale' was added to the fearless tour in 2010, it was the first of several songs performed in a black and silver cocktail dress. The visuals in the background depict a forest scene, reminiscent of Romeo and Juliet sneaking away during 'love story'. Taylor also wears a very similar dress during the 'our song' music video as she's singing "I didn't kiss 'er and I should have".

Taylor also performed 'today was a fairytale' during the 2010 Grammys where Stevie Nicks joined her on stage. For this performance Taylor was wearing a blouse reminiscent of the Romeo look that’s seen on the cover of the fearless re-record. Notably, Eric Dane from Grey's anatomy played a famous football player for the valentines day movie. His character came out as gay during a press conference when many were anticipating his retirement. And at the end of the tour Taylor wore a patriots jersey for her performance of 'today was a fairytale' at the Gillette stadium.

Exiled

Following the incident with Kanye West interrupting her acceptance speech at the country music awards show, the speak now tour reveals subtle references to this negative experience and how it had affected Taylor going forward. The 'speak now' performance in particular features Taylor interrupting a wedding that’s taking place on stage as she proceeds to drag the groom into the crowd.

After losing him along the way, Taylor reaches a lone tree in the crowd. She begins singing 'fearless' on a ukulele with a brief cover of 'I'm yours' by Jason Mraz mixed in. "I won't hesitate no more." Taylor then transitions into playing 'last kiss' on the koi fish guitar. "When we say hello, and it's magical, we never imagine that hello could someday turn into a goodbye." The combination of all of these elements is a visual representation of the outer version of Taylor saying goodbye as the inner version of Taylor became exiled.

Fast forward to the release of fearless Taylor's version and we can start to see the evidence of this separation. The lyric video for 'today was a fairytale' is full of duplicated pictures of Taylor from the past, all with varying levels of saturation. This feels like an introduction to the layers of Taylor that have developed over time. The Taylor on the left represents the exiled inner Taylor who is hiding behind a mask. The Taylor on the right represents the outer version of Taylor that is acting as a facade to conceal the layers underneath, just like a set of nesting dolls. And the middle layers represent the different versions of Taylor that have been added over the years. No matter which layer you're looking at, it is acting as both a mask and a facade for the inner and outer layers on either side.

There are many versions of Taylor seen throughout her music videos. I began seeing them as a set of nesting dolls as a way to make sense of the many versions of Taylor we've seen over the years. And it was all inspired by The Truman Show. The director (director Taylor) created Truman as a true man (regular Taylor/Taylor ™), but he was acting like everyone else around him by wearing a mask (pop star Taylor) but they saw him as a character (giant Taylor). Truman lied to everyone around him to protect the inner version of himself underneath (inner Taylor). We all have differing opinions on who Taylor is underneath the pop star persona (straight, queer etc), but the secret to seeing the innermost layer of Taylor is to understand that the outermost version of Taylor exists too. Taylor has been directing herself in the sense that she's created her own layers, but keep in mind that she wouldn't be referencing Truman's story so heavily if there wasn't someone in her life playing this role too.

A cry for help

This was just supposed to be a brief post about the connection between the two surprise songs, but it felt like Taylor was leaning over my shoulder saying "you know this is about the Truman show too right?!" So if you haven't read this post about The Truman Show yet, I'd highly recommend you do so before proceeding.

It's no coincidence that Taylor has referenced Truman's story so much throughout her work because she relates to his story on a personal level. Truman kept talking about how he wanted to get out of town and travel to Fiji, each time forcing the director to retaliate by trying harder to make him stay in Seahaven and continue being the star of the show. Taylor's version of leaving town was leaving her old record label and her plans of going to Fiji was talking about wanting to come out as queer in a similar way.

The 'anti hero' music video is a direct reference to the scene after Truman's first attempt to escape. In hindsight, this attempt was set up to fail as a test run to find out what roadblocks could hinder his real plan to escape. Taylor left her old record label at this point, but her fight for her plans didn't stop there. The aesthetic of the lover era hinted at Taylor's big plans to come out at the time, but this was quickly sabotaged by the sale of her masters. Chronologically, this music video depicts the fallout from that experience.

Truman had slowly been drawing the viewers attention to the flaws and behaviour of the people around him. This gave the viewer a chance to pick up on the clues that he wasn't happy with living a life that had been scripted for him. His wife Meryl advertising a product while trying to offer to help him is seen as the final straw, but in hindsight Truman had known all along that this type of behaviour wasn't genuine. As Taylor cuts into her food, purple glitter begins to ooze out of the egg yolk. The way that the food is arranged as a smiley face feels like a metaphor for how delicate the facade is that Taylor has created to conceal the inner versions of herself. How someone looks on the outside doesn't always reflect how they feel on the inside. This is what Truman meant when he told the director that he couldn't see inside his head. Taylor is showing us that we only see the mask she's hiding behind and that the Easter eggs she's left along the way point to who she really is on the inside. We just need to view them through the context of the Truman show.

When Truman finally confronts Meryl she calls out for help even though no one else is around. It becomes clear that she is talking to the director who is in charge behind the scenes. Taylor appears to be scared as she tries to call for help, only to reveal that the cord had been cut. This suggests that the phone and house is part of a set and that the act of calling for help was just a visible way to show how Taylor feels on the inside.

Truman purposely escalated the situation with Meryl because it was a part of his plan to encourage her to leave. He couldn't progress to the next stage with her watching over him. Taylor also appeared to be scared because she was confronted with the ghosts of her past self. They follow her around the house, but the ghosts in the mirror imply that they've been there the whole time. Taylor's just drawing our attention to them now because she knows what will happen next. Both Taylor and Truman are wanting us to see the director's role in their lives because their actions have always had the same consequences.

To calm Truman down, his best friend Marlon is sent in to intervene. He walks in carrying a six pack of beer, his usual excuse to show up unannounced. When Taylor™ (the Truman version of Taylor) reaches the front door, she opens it to find the pop star version of herself. This appears to indicate that she has answered the call, but we can infer from Truman's situation that it's actually the director attempting to remediate the situation.

When Truman and Marlon get together, Marlon is subtly guiding Truman to follow the script the director has laid out. And at the same time, Truman is subtly revealing what he needs help with on the outside for his big escape plan. As the two versions of Taylor begin taking shots together Taylor™ becomes more in sync with pop star Taylor over time. This means Taylor™ is being guided, just like Truman was.

Dead inside

As we see giant Taylor for the first time she had interrupted a dinner party and the scene feels similar to when Truman tried to leave town on the bus. Truman was again drawing our attention to how strangely everyone has always reacted in his presence. In this case, the dinner party guests reacting to the giant Taylor could be a reference to her level of fame or her queerness. Either way, her size implies that she's the elephant in the room. An archer shoots her with an arrow and this shows that the giant Taylor bleeds purple glitter, just like the egg did. She attempts to drink from a bottle of wine but discovers it had run out. This is a reference to Alice in Wonderland drinking to shrink in size and suggests that the giant Taylor just wanted a chance to fit in.

Truman and Marlon found a way to communicate with each other very subtly in plain sight, to the point that it's undetectable unless you're looking for it. The pop star Taylor is doing the same thing, but in a way that makes it seem like she's teaching Taylor ™ bad habits. Taylor™ takes notes as pop star Taylor explains the rules she needs to follow to keep up the facade that is concealing the inner versions of Taylor underneath. This feels like a true man bootcamp.

Taylor™ eventually throws up some of the purple glitter, implying that this outcome was a part of their plan. This reminds me of the phrase that suggests to 'chew the meat and spit out the bones'. It has a biblical background to encourage discernment, but in this situation pop star Taylor is showing Taylor™ how to read between the lines in order to see the helpful advice she is sharing.

The old Taylor is dead

From the director's perspective, Truman was trying to escape because he had found out that his father was still alive. So to prevent Truman from leaving he reunites them. Marlon guides Truman to follow the script as they're reunited. This feels like the end of Truman's story as it cuts to the director's point of view behind the scenes but we eventually learn that Truman had been working towards a bigger plan the whole time. Pretending to go back to normal was a part of the plan to lull the director into a false sense of security, allowing Truman to leave when he least expected it.

A similar scene plays out as Taylor™ and pop star Taylor are reunited with the giant Taylor. With the added context of Truman's story, this now seems to be an attempt to placate them too. If we know that the pop star Taylor was subtly teaching Taylor™, we can begin to see the signs that they were both working towards a bigger plan. All we have to do to understand their motive is to read between the lines.

If you open up a nesting doll and put it back together again without the inner layers, you're essentially creating a horcrux. This is what happened when Taylor lost access to her masters and what the many versions of Taylor represent. Slowly over time she's been rescuing each layer piece by piece. And once they're all reunited Taylor will become complete again.

The koi fish guitar and the purple glitter are a clear reference to the speak now era, and the purple colour is often associated with queer women. These connections point towards the giant Taylor being associated with the speak now era. The director allowed them to reunite with the giant Taylor because she was the lesser of two evils for the director to choose from. The aesthetic of the lover era and the music videos that went with it appear to be a compromise intended to prevent Taylor from going after her bigger plan.

I mentioned earlier that the inner version of Taylor became exiled during the speak now tour. In hindsight, the red version of Taylor then became a decoy to draw our attention away from the speak now era so that we didn't realise that she was left behind. "'Cause you never gave a warning sign. (I gave so many signs) So many signs, so many signs. You didn't even see the signs." The tree where Taylor was exiled is featured on the cover of the book in the 'all too well' short film and the only lingering evidence of her existence is the red scarf.

The bigger plan Taylor™ and pop star Taylor were working towards was hinted at with the koi fish guitars. Pop star Taylor was smashing her guitar, drawing our attention to the speak now connection. This distracted us from the second koi fish guitar Taylor™ was holding onto, concealing their bigger plan hidden in plain sight. And it's all linked to the koi fish. In the 'lavender haze' music video, Taylor pushes down the walls of the bedroom to reveal that the house was all a facade. She then proceeds to go to sleep on a cloud while surrounded by koi fish as they swim by. This is a reference to the phrase 'sleeping with the fishes', a term used to imply a dead body had been dumped in the ocean. This suggests that Taylor™ and pop star Taylor are working together to rescue this version of Taylor. And how do we know which version is still missing? Taylor showed us with the midnight mayhem with me videos when she paired track 1 with 'lavender haze'. This implies that Debut Taylor is the original version of Taylor who is dead sleeping with the fishes.

The funeral

"And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?"

Looking back we can see that Taylor Nation has been going live to draw our attention to the 'I don't wanna live forever' surprise songs, but more specifically the difference between live vs live. And just like Truman, Taylor™ doesn't want to be live forever, hence the funeral. Taylor's direct references to The Truman Show deviate with the funeral scene, but the main characters do correspond to Truman's family to draw our attention to their intentions. This means that Kimber is Truman's wife, Preston is Truman's mother and Chad is Truman's best friend. I've been going back and forth trying to decide if they could represent Taylor's family or herself, but ultimately I believe it's about fans. As the funeral starts, Kimber is using a selfie stick to fix up her lipstick. "Once you fix your face I'm going in". This action feels like the funeral is a big performance for her rather than a somber occasion.

Next, Preston gets up to read out the will. Kimber and Preston both sound distraught when they discover that Taylor left everything to her cats and all that's left for them is 13 cents each, but the delay in Chad's reaction suggests that he's not surprised but is playing along to keep up appearances. The 13 cents is a reference to Taylor's favourite number and a cent is typically a penny, but it’s also a unit of measure in music. I'm not familiar with US currency, but many versions of the penny seem to feature a shield. The inscription on them reads 'e pluribus unum' which translates to 'out of many, one'. This motto represents a union formed by many states. This implies that there is a maximum of thirteen versions of Taylor, and that once limit is reached they will reunite again as one.

As they continue to argue over the will, Chad and Preston point out that Kimber is wearing Taylor's dress from the fearless tour. She gets upset over this, claiming that "we were very, very close and I miss her!" Knowing that her character is referencing Truman's wife Meryl, this emotional outburst now feels contrived as if she's putting on a show.

The fight escalates when it's pointed out that Chad is recording the funeral for his podcast 'life comes at you swiftly'. This suggests that he's using the recording for ulterior purposes. The argument turns into a fight as Chad accuses Kimber of killing Taylor. "Kimber was the last one with her. She didn't fall off that balcony, she was pushed!" This implies that Chad knows more than he's letting on and is purposely escalating the situation to create a rift between them all.

If the cents represent a new era of Taylor, midnights being the 10th era suggests that they have almost run out. Therefore Kimber, Preston and Chad's disagreement and outrage is a genuine reaction to how little time they have left, not the money. While everyone is distracted, Taylor gets out of the coffin but no one notices because they're too busy fighting amongst themselves. This version of Taylor is wearing a teal and green shirt, colours associated with the debut version of Taylor. But if we've already established that the original version of Taylor is in the lavender haze, does this mean that debut Taylor is the original Taylor™?

Just like Truman learnt at a young age that he needed to fit in and follow the script like everyone else, Taylor did too. "When you are young, they assume you know nothing". If Truman was the 'true man', the more accurate description for Taylor would be the 'good girl'. All her life that's who she was expected to be so that's who she tried to be. Underneath that outer layer, is another layer, and another layer and so on of Taylor's attempts to be a 'good girl'. Each layer of nesting dolls may look identical or completely unique to the next, but in the end there's only one left that's not hollow at it's core. This is the innermost version of Taylor.

"Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules.

All to outrun my desertion of you."

If Taylor learnt to conceal her inner self before debut, then each layer since then has been her attempt to replace the part of herself that was left behind. This suggests that reuniting all thirteen layers of Taylor was the bigger plan she was working towards all along.

The will to live

"But who got the beach house?"

"She's having it turned into a f*cking cat sanctuary!"

Taylor didn't leave her children very much in the will, but she did request that the beach house be turned into a cat sanctuary. It's common knowledge that a cat typically has nine lives, but knowing Taylor her cats would have 13 lives instead.

To tie it all back to the 'today was a fairytale' connection that started all of this, the thirteen versions of Taylor are woven together in the same way the multiple storylines of the characters in the valentines day movie tell a bigger story together. They each have a story to tell individually, but together their lives weave together to create a patchwork of who they are as a whole. Each version of Taylor is connected through the invisible string, and Taylor has left subtle clues throughout her career to guide us along the way.

Speaking of subtle clues, is there really a secret encoded message hidden in the funeral scene?

There is if you read between the lines!

Chad points at the picture of Taylor with her cats after he asked about secret encoded messages. Taylor overhears this and pokes her head out of the coffin before anxiously glancing at the picture of herself to make sure no one had picked up on her secret encoded message. These subtle actions link the picture that's just out of view at the same time to what they were talking about it. I know that this picture of Taylor with her cats is not new information, but I do think we have failed to uncover the significance of it.

To understand this picture we first have to consider Truman's motivations to leave Seahaven. If Marlon was guiding Truman to aid his escape, the director was using Meryl to prevent Truman from leaving. And the next step in his plan was for Meryl to conceive, give birth and replicate Truman's life in the spotlight. The idea of being responsible for another person living the life he had is what motivated Truman to finally leave.

Scott Borchetta and Scooter Braun had initially told Taylor that they would only permit her to use her older music or video footage within the first year after she left her old record label if she agreed to their terms. This included but was not limited to saying:

"If I agree to not re-record copycat versions of my songs"

This clause went against everything Taylor had ever wanted: to own her own work. Embracing the queer side of herself was a big part of Taylor's journey initially, but creating change for everyone following in her footsteps is her greatest plan above all else.

"You look like Taylor Swift™ in this light. We're loving it."

The long pond studio sessions begins with Taylor talking about how she had created a studio in her home called kitty committee studios while in lockdown. As it comes to an end, Taylor and Jack are talking about how her cats are often fighting in the background while she was recording.

"If I was to close the door on them, they would meow, so they need to be free range cats. Cage free."

Benjamin Button is Taylor's third cat, the one she received during the 'Me!' music video from Brendon Urie. This moment is monumental as it signifies Taylor owning her first album. The significance of this suggests that Taylor was never planning on coming out during the lover era, it had always been about wanting to have access to her catalogue.

"Hey kids, spelling is fun!"

There is no I in team, but "you can't spell cats without TS!"

What's the time Mr Wolf?

Truman's director was concealed within the moon structure he created in the sky of the dome above Seahaven. At the end of the 'karma' music video Taylor and Ice Spice both lasso the moon and saturn with gold and silver thread. This implies that there are two seperate directors influencing her actions from behind the scenes and that her plan involves stopping them, and not leaving her career.

"And you poke that bear 'til her claws come out and you find something to wrap your noose around."

We need to keep in mind that Taylor's references to the Truman show throughout her music videos are a way for her to leave breadcrumbs without leaving a trace. The purpose of this is to avoid directly naming names. And just like Truman, the whole point of the story was to slowly expose us to the director's role in her life. I keep referring back to Truman's story in the same way because there's so much of Taylor's personal life that we'll never be privy to, but ignoring the role of the director means that we're completely missing the truth sprinkled in amongst the lies throughout her discography.

"'Cause for every lie I tell them, they tell me three."

Taylor left many clues in the 'midnights mayhem with me'. But the biggest clue of all was hidden in the title. MMWM. For every truth Taylor has woven into her songs, she's covered it up with three lies. In a previous post I pointed out how Taylor had used the McDonalds slogan to troll everyone by linking her truth with the most recognised symbol of all, the M logo. "We're loving it." And it all stems from her favourite number 13. Believing that Taylor is singing about a Woman or Man depends on what side of the street you're standing on (and if you're looking up at her or looking down at her). If the 3 represents women, the 1 represents the fine line or tightrope that Taylor has had to walk as she added whispers of her truth in plain sight.

"Lost your balance on a tightrope. It's never too late to get it back."

The significance of Taylor's cats doesn't stop with her catalogue. I'll leave it up to your imagination to discover how Taylor has been using the word to troll the directors, but on a more serious note we need to take a closer look at the meaning behind "Karma is a (copy)cat". When Taylor was told that she couldn't create copycat versions of her work she followed that direction meticulously. But just not in the way you think.

"But the story isn't mine anymore."

Taylor didn't rerecord her albums, she just retold the story.

Losing the rights to her own history is why Taylor didn't hesitate leaving everything behind when she left her old label. Instead, she started telling her story in her own way. And lover was the beginning of retelling her-story from debut. Folklore is retelling the story of Taylor™. Evermore is retelling the story of the princess that became frozen in time from speak now. Midnights is adding context to her-story from red. TTPD is the reality of her time in 1989. And there is no TS12 because there will be no explanation. TS12 is the inner Taylor, Taylor Swift. Who Taylor is at 12am is the same Taylor that started at 12pm.

'e pluribus unum'

"Midnights become my afternoons"

But wait, there's more!

There are more layers to the clock than just the twelve numbers.

If the eras are the chapters of Taylor's story, the midnights track list is the manifest. This is the role Taylor played as her own director, or in other words the mastermind. The manifest is her evidence explaining why she created Taylor™. Each track lines up with the ending of an era, starting with the inner Taylor lost in the lavender haze. Debut is in exploring new love with maroon. Fearless is paving the way for Taylor™ as the anti hero. Speak now is exiled as Taylor™ in the snow globe/fish bowl with snow on the beach. Red is leaving the old Taylor behind with you're on your own kid. 1989 is in the getaway car with midnight rain. Reputation is dreaming of purple skies and galaxies with Question...? Lover is playing with fire in vigilante shit. Folklore is reflecting on the diamonds frozen in time with bejewelled. Evermore is preparing to cross the line with labyrinth. Midnights is weaving the invisible string with karma. And TTPD is providing the evidence of how the inner Taylor became exiled.

The next layer reveals the four quadrants, just like the midnights vinyls. These reveal the fantasy vs reality of Taylor's history. "One for the money, two for the show". If we look closely we can see the evidence that the two directors are scripting both Taylor's career and her love life. This is in the form of limiting her music and forcing her into PR based relationships. The first quadrant reveals the dream Taylor had of owning her own music. The second reveals how convincing PR relationships can be. The third quadrant reveals Taylor's plans to reclaim her life's work and history. And the forth quadrant reveals Taylor's current fight to experience a love life without outside influence.

"And I hope it's shitty in the black dog"

"Karma is a cat purring in my lap because he loves me"

Truman spent his life feeling trapped in his hometown as he kept the truest parts of himself hidden. So much of Taylor's music videos point to feeling the same way. On the outside she is projecting the good girl version of herself, but underneath she feels abandoned. And both are in pain because they have been exiled from each other.

Many of Taylor's albums are full of fantasy because that's the life she's created for herself to maintain the facade and the man wall is the remnants of her dreams. The only layers that depict Taylor's reality are the albums that correspond with her real cats in the picture from the funeral scene. During the lover era, Taylor assigned a cats movie character to each of her albums. The big cat in her lap is Benjamin Button. He represents Taylor's future with debut and lover. Meredith Grey is tucked in underneath. She represents the life of Taylor™ as speak now and evermore. And Olivia Benson is behind her. She represents Taylor's history with 1989 and TTPD.

The 'fortnight' music video was a stark contrast with the asylum feel compared to the rest of her discography because that was our peek behind the magician's curtain. It reveals that the deeper meaning behind the tortured poets department is that both halves of Taylor are being tortured. To understand the severity of this, we have to envision the clock as a globe. The equator becomes the fine line the inner and outer version of Taylor is walking along. Taylor™ is in the glass display box performing for the world to see. Meanwhile, inner Taylor is buried and exiled underground. The men in Taylor's music videos frequently represent the other half of herself. In reality, they are orbiting each other but never allowed to touch.

Taylor's end game is to break down the facade of Taylor™, remove the mask to expose her inner self and reunite the two halves of herself once more. After all, it's delicate.

The tortured poets department is called that because Taylor isn't the only tortured poet. So many artists and celebrities from the past have been tortured in some way. Taylor's not the only one that's breaking down their facade and this is what all of the willow orbs represent. It takes someone with enough power and attention to be able to create lasting change, and Taylor's the one that's going to change everything. In 'look what you made me do' Taylor is sitting at the children's table teaching them all of her bad habits. But we have to keep in mind that this is the pop star/anti hero version of Taylor.And her partner in crime is none other than Jack Antonoff. They've been sharing Taylor's tricks with the next generation of artists to prevent them falling into the same trap that Taylor did.

They're creating copycats of Taylor.

"Karma is a cat"

"Every bait and switch was a work of art"

"Karma is a cat purring in my lap because he loves me."

A tortured poet,

Kylie x

P.S. What's in the briefcase Taylor?

P.P.S. I know who the real muse is too hehe

#taylorswift #gaylor #taylor swift music video analysis #the eras tour #🎃 anon #taylornation #friends of dorothea #swiftie #taylor swift eras #spaderiddles

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gerardpilled · 2 years ago

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New fan here!! What exactly happened at pro rev? I see people talk about it a lot but I can't find out exactly what went down

Lol I love seeing this question asked on my dash and thank you for trusting me with the response. This kinda became longer than what I was expecting but I love to over explain sorry:

Okay so pro rev is kinda famous in the fan community because of how insane everyone seemed to have been acting during it. mcr was always known for their stage antics - even in the early days - and specifically for how they responded to homophobia (and to be clear- they faced a lot of it) by not denying being gay, but encouraging the idea. Specifically Gerard and Frank would kiss each other or Gerard would kinda feel-up the other guys in what people coined as “stagegay”. Although mcr fans were kinda weeded out to expect and accept this, festivals like Warped Tour were always the biggest issue for them because they were in front of thousands of people who didn’t necessarily want to see guys in eyeliner and eyeshadow*.

Then comes 2007 - Linkin Park hosts another “Projekt Revolution” which was kinda a mini traveling festival with about 10 or so bands in the lineup and would run from July 25th to September 3rd. Mcr was actually second bill so while not nobodies, most of the audience still consisted of Linkin Park fans. I know nothing about the music or guys of Linkin Park, but they simply attracted a different kind of crowd and might have heckled mcr more than a mcr-headlining show. The guys really played this up and seemed to turn up the stage antics A LOT. (I say ‘seemed to’ because I do think the number of people in attendance and the fact more people had access to digital cameras in 2007 than 2004 might have just resulted in more examples being recorded and uploaded)

They were grinding on each other, chewing on condoms, licking each other, fake masturbating, fully making out, and fighting on one occasion. Gerard would ask the boys in the audience to take their shirts off during Prison to which Ray joined in once. Frank specifically was acting kinda wild and was just commonly writhing around on the floor and flinging his guitar a lot. The main famous “frerard kiss” was said (by Gerard) to be the result of Frank rubbing his bloody finger on Gerard’s face and Gerard opting to seek revenge by kissing him.

The funniest part of all this is that it could theoretically be explained away by the fact they were probably just frustrated from being away from their families on tour for so long at this point (notably, Mikey did not attend prorev because of his recent marriage and/or mental health issues) if it weren't for the fact that at the start of tour Gerard began dating Lindsey (m. Ballato) who played bass in another band. Gerard was seen watching her play a few times and the couple would also have matching slogans written on their bodies (presumably by each other). The couple then got married on the last night of tour by an ordained member of the crew backstage while wearing matching airbrush unicorn shirts with each other's names. This was all very sudden for fans especially because it was only around May of the same year when Gerard is thought to have broke off an engagement with his ex girlfriend.

Another notable point is that this was the first time mcr had two tour buses because Frank brought his WIFE. I don't see a lot of people pointing this out, but I believe Jamia was there. Also Frank appeared on an episode of Kat Von D's tattooing show in the middle of tour lol

The aftermath of the tour has kinda become equally as famous due to rumors and theories. Specifically the fight has been speculated to be the result of deeper drama where people think Frank was hurt by Gerard's new relationship or whatever. All that is speculation and mostly baseless. Bottom line is this did influence a ton of fanfiction and kinda made the band known for their stage behavior. They really calmed down on the more homoerotic aspects of their stage personas in later years which more conspiratorial fans contribute to Gerard's marriage. More likely is that they realized the intended reaction of pissing homophobes off was being lost, and instead people were into and sexualizing it more than anything. Gerard once tweeted about it.

I think it's all very funny because to be honest and until they talk about it in any meaningful detail, we still have no idea what going on with them. Just a fun period in mcr herstory.

Links to magazines covering the tour:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Other stuff I couldn't think of a place to mention:

David Cassidy

Gerard singing Umbrella

"it's like having buttsex"

gerard hugging worm

infamous hickey gerard had that he tried to cover with a bandana

Gerard on "my super sweet 16" in the middle of tour

____

*That's not to say mcr was facing the most discrimination ever at this show. I have no knowledge of how people who were outwardly lgbt (such as Brian Molko of Placebo) were treated. Also it's important to note that there was a severe lack of racial and gender diversity when it came to this tour's lineup. There was not a single band with a non-white front person and only 1 band with any women in it.

#I might add more to the videos if i think of more #sorry this was a lot but i kinda wanted to provide a quick primer for any newbies #feel free to reblog #ref #prorev #2007 #mcr

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asurrogateblog · 4 months ago

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The Surrogate Band and Reverse Foreshadowing in The Wall

one little detail I love about the wall's concert tour is the very subtle way that it plays with a concept I like to call "reverse foreshadowing". during the lyrics of "in the flesh", pink/roger mentions the existence of the surrogate band, but interestingly, the surrogate band doesn't actually appear during this song (the doubles are on stage, but as a different "shadow band" mirroring the real one). where they do appear is way before that, during the very first song in the show when, as we know, the audience is tricked into believing that the surrogates are the real band in order to instill a strong sense of unreality.

...now, what makes this notable from a narrative standpoint is that, presumably, most of the people who came to see the wall had already listened to the album, and had heard all of the lyrics beforehand. theoretically, they knew about the potential existence of a surrogate band – it's in the lyrics! – but yet it didn't seem to occur to anyone that it might actually show up until they have the sudden realization that the performers they're watching aren't really pink floyd.

in fact, one could interpret the entirety of "in the flesh?" as foreshadowing what the audience would experience at the concert:

So ya thought ya might like to go to the show To feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow Tell me, is something eluding you, sunshine? Is this not what you expected to see? If you wanna find out what's behind these cold eyes You'll just have to claw your way through this disguise

when you're just listening to audio the album, you're presumably imagining some fictional crowd pink is speaking to. but when you're at the concert, all of a sudden that's you he's speaking to directly. now, there is something that should be eluding you, and there is a very real thrill of confusion as you realize that the disguise you've been warned about is not just metaphorical....

#can you imagine how hard this was to explain to my narratology professor #this almost went in the tags of the last post I reblogged but things were getting a little long and tangential #pink floyd #the wall

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astrangetorpedo · 4 months ago

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Julien Baker: Accomplish the Most with the Least

by Zachary Gresham | Photos by Nolan Knight

Julien Baker is more visible than ever. After her low-budget debut, Sprained Ankle, made nearly every best-of 2015 list, the 21-year-old Baker signed with Matador Records and went home to Memphis to record her next record at the legendary Ardent Studios. Turn Out the Lights was released in October of 2017 to massive acclaim from critics, and was met with extreme devotion from audiences. It is the rare record that one can wholeheartedly describe as both monastically spare and cinematically epic, putting her in the heady company of Tori Amos, Nina Simone, and Jeff Buckley. We caught up with Julien shortly after her return to Tennessee from a quick tour of Japan to talk about guitars, Ardent, Craig Silvey, reverb, and doing more with less.

Turn Out the Lights is really beautiful.

Oh, thank you!

I find it difficult to disconnect from it emotionally for a while after I've turned it off, which is the sign of a quality record.

That means a lot to hear. Thank you.

You made it at Ardent in Memphis, but you did your previous album, Sprained Ankle, at a studio in Virginia, right?

Yeah. Spacebomb Studios. Most of the songs on Sprained Ankle were recorded at Spacebomb, but there are two on there (two with percussion, "Vessels" and "Brittle Boned") that were recorded at Cody Landers' house. He's an incredible engineer.

Were you recording yourself before that?

When I was in high school, the band I was in [The Star Killers, later known as Forrister] put out a full-length [American Blues] album that we recorded entirely in Cody Landers' attic. We were all kids, and he took on this project because we were his friends. It was a labor of love, as well as a learning experience. We had no idea what to ask for and what sounded good. It's funny, looking back now on what we were trying to emulate.

What were you trying to emulate?

Well, Matthew [Gilliam] – the drummer and one of my closest friends – our biggest influences are probably Manchester Orchestra and Circa Survive. We wanted to sound big, bombastic, and theatrical, but with sinewy, reverb-y guitars. The other guitarist listened to Wilco, Guster, and folk-adult-rock. It ended up sounding half like Whiskeytown and half like Sunny Day Real Estate. Those are mixed very, very differently. Also, and this is true with youth, is that everything is more exaggerated. You want things as more drastic, colorful caricatures of themselves. I always wanted a 30-second reverb tail on my vocals. The guitars had to be super loud. Matthew had the biggest snare that was sold at the local music store, because everything had to be so powerful. A better way to put it is that it lacks taste or restraint. I learned so much every day, after school sitting in front of Cubase and crafting a record. Before I ever went to MTSU [Middle Tennessee State University], that's how I learned how automation works, why you track drums first, or why you don't want to put a whole bunch of reverb on the drum kit, even though it sounds cool as an idea.

You went to MTSU to study recording?

I did. I went to MTSU because they had a really notable and reputable recording industry program, but my thing was always live sound. There's an audio engineering major, and within that you can specialize in recording arts or live sound. I don't have the meticulous drive to pick apart a waveform in a DAW. I make my own demos, but they're simply for mapping out songs. I can't sit there and master forever. When I was a kid I learned how to use a PA, and then they would let me run the console at shows. I thought, "Well, I could do that. I know how to do simple circuits, so maybe I could work at a repair shop repairing guitars." I went to school to learn that, systems optimization, and building stages at festivals. But because we were all in the same program – all of my friends who were wearing their headphones around their neck and mixing at the campus Starbucks – those were the people who would say, "Hey, I have some extra studio time. Do you want to come in and record?" I think that it is important to keep yourself open to opportunities to gain experience.

You've got to get in there.

Hands-on experience taught me so much. I took so many classes on systems optimization, signal flow, and live sound mixing. But what taught me how to find my way in a live sound setting was doing sound for bands at venues. What taught me how to act, how to vocalize what I wanted, or the protocol inside a recording studio, was being able to spend that time. I think that's a good thing that MTSU gives you. There are resources on hand to take the theoretical knowledge from the classroom and apply it in a real setting. Otherwise, I couldn't have gotten to meet [engineer Michael] Hegner and do the first demos of what would eventually become Sprained Ankle. He was sitting in the library and asked, "Does anybody have a song they want to do? I've got a session in 30 minutes and no one to fill it." I was like, "Yeah."

Of course, you had to put the time into having a song.

I didn't think about that. Writing is always a compulsory thing, so I always have literally hundreds of voice memos.

Is that how you make your demos, just voice memos on the phone?

That's how I make the very first part; the writing process. If there's an idea while I'm playing guitar that I think is worthy of being explored, then I'll make a short little 1-minute voice demo and save it as "cool riff 85," or whatever. Then later it will be fleshed out as a song with placeholder lyrics. I finally took the plunge and got a real DAW. I use Logic now and I do those little MIDI things for keyboards. I can plug straight into a little one-input interface and have my actual guitar sounds from my pedalboard. Before that, I was using a straight-up 2005 Audacity program that I found. It was free. It looked awful. No hate on Audacity. But my version was so old.

It's a great program for cutting up samples.

Yeah. It's really limited. I guess that's how you learn. I was also using a Toshiba computer from 2006, because I held off for so long, saying, "I'm not going to buy a computer. This one works fine." It's so hard for me to give in and upgrade my gear, because I get used to working within the parameters I've become familiar with.

From that perspective, let's talk about going to Ardent Studios. Listening to the record for the first time, I kept waiting for the gigantic production to kick in. Almost all the songs have a moment where I thought, "Here it comes." But it never does.

It's really interesting to me that you say that. I felt self-conscious in the opposite way. I thought, "There're eight vocal tracks and strings, and my buddy's playing clarinet. This is so much." By comparison, it's much more expansive than Sprained Ankle. I was worried. I had this oxymoronic fear that it would be too similar to my past material and also too different, but not in the right ways. I wanted to have it be very dramatic – and have the parts that seem like soaring ballad climaxes – because I'm a sucker for that kind of dynamic. I think it's very emotive. But I also wanted to be careful that I didn't take so much of a maximalist approach that I weighed the song down, or it got to this critical mass where there's too much going on.

That's an incredibly mature perspective. I don't mean this because you're a younger person, but just in general. There are people who never get there.

Thank you. I'm going to acknowledge your compliment; I didn't take it as a thing about my age. But I agree. I think that restraint is such an important skill in music. For a long time when I was playing guitar in a band – and I think this had a lot to do with my insecurities about being a female in a male-dominated scene – but every time we played a show, I had to rip a crazy solo so that everybody knew I was "good." Still, one of my primary lurking fears about performing the material that I have today is that if I have a song that's three chords of quarter notes, everybody's going to be bored and put to sleep. But that's the challenge. Restraint is such an important thing. Just because you have every single color in your palette doesn't mean that every single color serves the painting. I think there are artists where the maximalist approach serves them well. When you think about a Bruce Springsteen record, like Born to Run. Or have you listened to Kimbra?

Yeah. A lot going on there.

Or St. Vincent. There are so many sounds; it's insane. But I think the challenge with my music is figuring out how to make it interesting while still leaving it pretty sparse. It's an interesting interplay. How many points of dynamic can you introduce into the song, as subtly as possible?

Do you go into recording feeling like you're going to do what you do live, but with a little extra?

There was this reciprocal relationship between the live and the recorded for this record. Another thing I wanted was not to say, "I don't know how I'm going to pull this off live, so I'm not going to explore this possibility." Now I do the weird play-guitar-and-piano-at-the-same-time. I decided if I wanted to have clarinet in there, then it'd be worth it to add clarinet. I think I was a lot more particular about the instrumentation on this record because I knew that it would be received in a different way. With Sprained Ankle, I was recording the songs as they had formed in my free time, using my looping pedal or whatever. With these songs, I sat down with a spiral [notebook] and mapped them out. I thought, "This song is tedious. What small embellishment can I add that will change the song enough to re-focus the listener's interest, without detracting or obscuring the totality of the song?" One of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten was from Josh Scogin [of bands The Chariot and '68]. We were at a show, and we were talking about how The Chariot's records are so interesting. They'll have this incredibly heavy breakdown, but it'll be free with no time signature at all. Or the song will completely stop and then something from Atlanta AM radio will play, and then the song will pick back up. "How do you know to do that? Is it just a novelty, or what?" Josh said, "I think you have to think of what will make people back up the track because they missed a thing." You don't want to make a song that goes on in a predictable fashion without introducing new elements.

You got an incredible guitar sound on the record. You tour with a [Fender] Twin and Deluxe, right?

Yes. We recorded a lot of Turn Out the Lights on my little 1x12 Deluxe, but I also have a 2x12 Blues Deluxe that I took the speakers out of and replaced with Warehouse guitar speakers called Veteran 30s. I got the higher-wattage option because there's way more gain room before it breaks up. My one gripe about Fender amps is that they break up too soon.

By design. A lot of people want blues.

Exactly. I get it. With the Twin, it's fine. It's a really sparkly break up. The Deluxe amps, I like the warmness of them. But when you start to break up such a warm, midrange-y amp, it gets fuzzy really quickly. I really like those speakers in that amp. I use so many of my instruments partly because they sound the way I want them to, but also partly because it took so much work for me to get them to sound the way they do that maybe my goal and my ability met in the middle. Especially with the wiring. I have a [Fender] Telecaster that I modded, and it took so long for me to figure that out when I was 18, trying to read a circuit diagram on how to get your pickups to go in series or parallel, and add that little option with the 4-switcher. Once I finally did it, I was like, "This is what I want, for sure." Whether or not it was what I was going for, I was so committed to doing it.

Do you go back and forth between series and parallel?

No. I have the blue guitar, it's a Mexican-made Tele, and then I have an American Tele, which is the butterscotch one. I leave it on series all the time. You have to put aftermarket pickups in Fender guitars. The Telecaster has the plucky clarity that I like; but I think everybody plays them so hot and bright, because that's the Nashville sound. I thought of Telecasters as country music guitars until I saw Now, Now and Circa Survive on tour. Both the guitarists were playing Telecasters. I was like, "What is happening? How are you guys getting this sound out of a Telecaster?" Then I used my next paycheck to buy a Mexican Tele. I love it.

Were you using Fender amps already?

Yeah. The first amp that I used was this Vox digital combo that was bad news. Well, it wasn't bad news, because I think those amps that have the effects built-in are good for learning. I wasn't playing big shows, so why would I need a $700 amp? The first real amp I bought was the Fender I replaced the speakers in. I had it for a really long time. Then I bought the 1x12 on tour when the tubes of my other amp broke, and now I play through stereo amps. It's interesting that the idea to do that never occurred to me, even though I had two amps on hand. Even on Sprained Ankle, I played through one amp.

You use so much reverb and delay, it's perfect for what you're doing.

Sometimes we'll be at a festival and I'll play through one amp. The way that my looping system is totally jury-rigged, I can use it into the first and second channels on a Fender amp.

It's a wonderful, underused feature, having the two channels on those amps.

It is. So much of my musical knowledge is very de facto and functional, and it doesn't result in a logical understanding of the mechanisms I'm using. On my Deluxe, there're two input jacks. I'd say, "Oh, I always plug into input 2 because it sounds different, and I like that sound." I didn't know until October of 2017 that one of them is high gain and one of them is lower gain. I had no idea. It sounded different. Now I have two A-B-C-Y splitters on my board; I send out from those two channels a dry channel and a reverb channel on one amp, and then yet a third reverb channel into a different amp.

Is the reverb channel 100 percent saturated?

It's all the way on, all the time. The dry channel is there in case the two stereo outs of my looper go off, because I'm paranoid about my loop breaking and there being no safety net for me to play through. I was not always that wise. I have been brought low by humiliation, the great teacher. Now I have one fail-safe channel. The rest of my loops come out on different outputs.

Do you use the amp reverb?

I used to have it pulled up to quarter to two almost all the time, but now I like the flat character of the amp enough, and I have three or four different reverbs. The Strymon blueSky is always on. I forget that I have it on my board, because it stays on. It's the staple of my tone.

I read that you used a [Neumann] U 67 for recording your voice. Is that right?

Yeah.

Did you do a shootout, or did you know going in you wanted a 67?

We tried out that mic because Calvin Lauber, engineer for Turn Out the Lights] suggested it. On Sprained Ankle, I recorded part of it on a [Shure] SM7B. We used a couple of different microphones on that one. I don't remember what the other one was. With the Neumann, I'm very reluctant to use mics with so much crispness, because I think my voice has a tendency to get really nitty and bland.

I respectfully disagree, but go on.

Well, okay. Maybe I'm hyper-critical of my voice. But that vocal mic sounded really nice, especially in the room. Once we started tracking with that, I was like, "Yeah, I'm really, really happy with this vocal sound." It's an incredible microphone. It sounds like it's capturing what's happening to your ears with intense clarity. Whenever I make my little Logic demos, I go in there and notch out 2.5 to 3 kHz, because it sounds really annoying. When I started singing in a band, I wanted the vocals to be pushed all the way to the back and ‘verbed out. I was self-conscious about my voice. I never really wanted to be a singer. I wanted to play guitar. Then our first show came up, and we didn't have a lead singer, so I said, "I'll sing until we find a singer." Then I became the singer. Every single time we performed live, someone would say, "That was really good. You should sing louder!"

Did you try to change the way you sing?

By the time The Star Killers had been a band for a while, I would do the shouty scream thing. But then that became a gimmick of my voice. It was atonal. It was less about the pitch and more about the intensity and having the gang vocals part where everybody sings along. It took touring for a while as a solo musician for me to become completely comfortable with my voice as an instrument. That was also probably because I still smoked at the time we recorded Sprained Ankle. Singing was really taxing on my voice. When I had not smoked for a little over a week, the way that my vocal control and the timbre of my voice changed was amazing. I thought, "This cannot be real." That made me much more confident, and it made me take singing seriously. My voice was no longer just a vehicle for poetry that I was using to "Leonard Cohen" out my lyrics. I think that's also what made recording this record a lot different. I was more ambitious with what I could do.

How long did you have at Ardent Studios?

I booked out six days, intentionally. We ended up staying there 12 hours a day. Time flies when you're in the studio, because it's fun, and exciting, and interesting. I think I limited it that way because of that fear of overproducing the record. If I gave myself too much time, I would fall into a paralysis of option anxiety. In hindsight it might have been good to have a deadline, but also take a rest. Record for a week, take a month off, let the tracks sit, and then come back with fresh ears. Maybe I was over-restrained, like I was overcompensating for my fear of overproducing.

It sounds like discipline is a huge part of your whole process.

Oh, definitely. I talk about this with so many of my friends in music. This land of words like discipline, motivation, and obsession are all fluidly bound. For any of the players on the record, like Cam [Boucher] from Sorority Noise, or Camille [Faulkner], who tours with me, the way that those people interact with music is almost obsessive, but in a way that drives them to be the most optimal players they can be. Not in a competitive way. I really don't think that trying to be the best you can be means that you have to be obsessed with being the best musician out there, or being superior.

It's its own reward.

Exactly. I think the fact you say that discipline is a huge part of the record is because maybe it wasn't that I had to apply an effort to sit down and map out the songs in a spiral notebook, or think about them and listen to them over, and over again. It's what preoccupies my mind all the time, so the only way to abate the anxiety of creating is to be engaged with it. But, at the same time, that's why I only wanted to book out six days. It's really important to get a great raw sound. We did a lot of setting levels for what would basically be how the record sounded.

It's a huge advantage not to "fix it in post."

Exactly! Get it right the first time. This thing that Calvin and I would say to each other all the time is, "It's worth it." When I would record a vocal track and it was almost what I wanted, and I felt I could live with it, we could nudge a note, or we could comp it. But I had the time. I'm not flying out to L.A. to do a two-hour recording session and we have to comp it. We had the time to get it right, and it's worth it. We ended up tracking a whole bunch of weird piano, guitar, and keyboard tracks that didn't make it on the record. But what if it had been awesome? It's worth it. When you start with good ingredients and you do less work on the back-end to try to wrangle it into sounding good, it's so much easier. And it sounds very pure and more organic, because I think you can tell when a song has had to be manipulated.

You can. It's almost never going to be as good as it would have been.

Exactly. There are so many great records that are tracked live. That's how recording used to be. Now I'm going to sound like one of those people who thinks that antiquated methods of recording are the only way and swears by tape only. No, there are amazing things we can use Pro Tools for. But I think the ethos of old-school recording is getting a great live sound. I watched a documentary about Tom Dowd [Tom Dowd & The Language of Music]. He plays the faders like a keyboard. It's so cool. Whenever I watch those documentaries, I'm amazed at that process, because it's happening to those people in real time; it's just their job. They have this very colloquial relationship with the music. Chilling out with Aretha Franklin and not knowing that it would change history. What I think you glean from those is not that it was better in the past, and we should only record to tape, and only use old vintage equipment. I think the process is that you should be able to accomplish the most with the least. You should know how to utilize a room, or you should know when it's enough. I think sometimes the necessity of having only four tracks, or having only eight channels, or what have you, makes you be more discerning. The options aren't endless. The time is not endless. You make a leaner, refined version.

Craig Silvey mixed Turn Out the Lights?

Yeah. We had a mixing day with Calvin; then he and I shot some mixes back and forth. I had very specific things I wanted out of the mix. It was really observable what Craig changed, but he didn't necessarily remove or add anything. I was amazed at how much he was able to add to the tracks. I think the people we involved on the record were all ones we wanted to use, either because of their prior work, or our prior history with them, indicated that they know how to be tasteful. Especially with Craig Silvey. I knew a few of the notable records that he had done, like Arcade Fire, but when I started to look at the breadth of the work he had been a part of, it was amazing.

Did you choose Craig, or did Matador say they wanted him?

Matador brought the idea. I was reluctant because I wanted the least tampering. They said, "We have this guy we think you'd really like. Give it a chance." I'll give anything a chance; but if I didn't like it, I was ready to say, "No." We sent a test mix, and when I got it back, I was like, "We should have the record mixed by this guy." It was ultimately a collaborative effort between Calvin being so personal and central to my life as a person and a friend, and knowing what I wanted, as well as Craig's expertise and impeccable ear. It made for a really special thing.

(link)

#this offers an interesting look at jb’s recording process #i bought this issue to gain access to the full interview so please don’t repost to twitter thx <3 #boygenius #julien baker #calvin lauber #tape op magazine #2018 #may 2018 #interview #archival

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lipstickghoulie · 4 months ago

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Walkin’ the Floor Over You

(Chapter Two)

(Lucy MacLean/Cooper Howard, over 5k words, explicit smut. Somnophilia, dubious consent, dry humping, possessive talk, praise, vaginal fingering)

Chapter One found here.

They fell into an uneasy sort of routine over the next couple of days. They would walk, Dogmeat would do typical dog behavior, Cooper would talk and Lucy would trail behind in stony silence.

The majority of the time, he had a suspicion that she wasn’t even listening to him when he spoke.

There would be hours of Cooper yammering on about whatever he could think of to spark a conversation. He started with things that he thought she might find interesting; behind-the-scenes facts from when he had been a star of stage and screen, his tours as a Marine, more articles he had read about psychology and human behavior. When none of it even triggered so as much as a glance out of her, he branched out into increasingly trivial topics; his past dreams of living on a ranch and raising chickens like his parents once had, what the weather used to be like in California before nukes can caused it all to go off-kilter, methods he had used to train Roosevelt to do tricks.

The only subjects he avoided entirely were Barb, Janey and Lucy’s own father. Cooper sidestepped them as gingerly as if they were live landmines that might blow off his feet up to the ankle, even when it left notably huge holes in stories he was telling. It seemed too early, too raw, to touch on family, even if he was trying to goad some kind of reaction out of her. In some way, Cooper was almost afraid of opening himself up to Lucy and talking about Janey only to be met with silence. He hadn’t told anyone about her in years and it seemed like getting frozen out if he did would be a good way for him to shut up entirely. Getting kicked while showing the one vulnerable and soft underbelly that he had left would probably make him give up on trying to build some sort of rapport between them and he was not ready to chance it yet.

Cooper was a stubborn man and confident in his own abilities. He may not have his movie star good looks to rely on as a crutch but he’d wear Lucy down eventually. It’s not that he expected them to become best friends or more-

(Though Cooper’s traitorous brain imagined scenarios where she sighed his name so prettily against his mouth, where Lucy smiled at him like she did by the river bank that day like she was all sunshine instead of storm clouds, where he got to kiss along those exquisite collarbones he saw jutting through her tank top)

-but it would be great for them to get along. It was a long journey ahead of them and god damn it, Cooper had to admit he was fond of the woman. He had survived a nuclear apocalypse, for fuck’s same. He could win her over and dispel some of her irritation at him, he was certain of it. It would just take time and some different tactical approaches. It had been a while since he had to dredge up any of that old school charisma he used to wield so effortlessly in with a martini in hand and a smirk on his face but he wasn’t above attempting to resurrect it if she gave him the opportunity.

One way or another, Cooper would at least get Lucy MacLean to hold real conversations with him by the time they got to Freeside outside of the New Vegas strip, he told himself resolutely.

It admittedly did irk him how little success he seemed to have so far on that goal.

As was common with ghouls, Cooper tended to forget about most of his bodily needs that weren’t revolving around getting his doses of anti-feral medication. Thirst, hunger, sleep… they didn’t affect him as much as before radiation started to take its toll and he could forget to eat or rest for days at a time. It wasn’t usually until he felt dead on his feet that he felt it necessary to find somewhere to bunker down.

It wasn’t until they had been passing some old, derelict remains of what had once been a mechanic’s garage (or at least, that’s what Cooper assumed it had been used for since it had been picked clean of any valuables long ago), that Lucy stopped abruptly and stared him down.

“Mister Cooper-“

“Just Cooper’s fine,” Cooper interjected, giving her an amiable smile when her stare intensified to an outright glare.

With a remarkable amount of restraint considering that the look in Lucy’s eyes was flinty enough to start a fire, she bit out, “Cooper. Fine. As much as I understand that we need to catch up to my father, we have to stop and make whatever kind of shelter that we can muster up. It’s been nearly three days traveling and I need to rest or I’ll pass out.”

Cooper blinked a few times, mentally doing some rough estimations in his head before concluding that she was right. Huh. He supposed that time probably seemed to pass a lot differently for him since he didn’t notice it, especially when he spent a bunch of it yapping away.

Lucy was watching him as if she was prepared for him to argue, to insist they press forward. Her wide, doe’s eyes were bleary and bloodshot, bags underneath them that were dark with exhaustion. She looked even more miserable and stressed than usual and Cooper felt discomfort tug at his stomach, making it sink. Did she really think him so much of a monster that he’d make her debate him over making camp after traveling nonstop for days?

Thinking back to how he had been over water when he had been stringing her up and pulling her along to organ traffickers, Cooper winced to himself. Yeah. He supposed that was actually the kind of opinion of him that he had earned.

“Uh, yup, that sounds mighty fine to me,” Cooper agreed, a tad awkwardly. He exhaled out a long breath and mentally made inventory. He didn’t have a bedroll or anything since he was well used to just sleeping wherever his head hit the floor by now. Maybe she’d be happier if he could find her a place to lay down that wasn’t covered in debris at least.

Lucy’s long, exacting look at him seemed to be taking his measure and finding him wanting. She seemed suspicious that he had given in so easily to her demand to stop but wasn’t willing to push him on it or dig any further on his motivation for doing so.

Dogmeat was on a different mission entirely and cocked her head, staring off into the distance, before yelping and taking off running at any easy lope. She was out of view in seconds, leaving Lucy calling after her half-heartedly and wearily. Cooper didn’t even bother; he knew how outdoorsy these kinds of breeds of dogs were and Dogmeat seemed more curious than most. She’d find them again when she was ready and there was no point in fretting over her in the meantime.

…Though Cooper himself would probably have his head on a swivel to keep an eye out for her if she didn’t mosey back their way within a day or so.

There wasn’t much to this place, anything of value having been stripped and sold long ago. Not even an oily rag remained behind. Cooper did his best anyways, kicking some loose rocks off to a corner and gathering what he could find for branches big enough for kindling. Normally, he’d never recommend lighting a fire at night around these parts out of concern it would attract some some of predator or raider. However, it got damn cold here as soon as the sun started to set, the girl was already shivering and with the heavy metal garage door mostly down, it should be fine enough. He made a sturdy pile of wood and got it sputtering away with a small fire soon enough.

The light gave him a chance to study Lucy some more, though he did so out of the corner of his eyes so as to not be caught doing so directly. She looked depressed down to the bone; shaking even as she warmed her hands over the fire, clothes dirtied and no longer that pristine and crisp uniform she was so accustomed to. She was getting sullied out here by the world as it was above ground, by him. Not that Cooper was foolish enough to assume she had been pure and innocent when she popped out of her vault, but it did give him a bolt of guilt right through his middle that he was wearing her down like waves against rock. She was fragmenting like gravel under all the revelations and indignities and he had been contributing to it too. Lucy had the dejected look of someone who didn’t know if she would ever see her home, her family, again and god only knew that Cooper knew what that was like.

Cooper slipped off his coat, grimacing a bit at the rough, nearly brittle texture of it under his hands. That’s what happened when you went so long between washing your clothes, he supposed, but he knew it wouldn’t crumble apart on him any time soon. Delicately, he folded it into a lumpy square (after clearing all of his chems out of the pockets and putting them carefully off to the side of what he had decided was their sleeping area). He put the makeshift pillow onto the ground next to him as he sat on the dirt/concrete mix. He gestured expansively at the coat. “There!”

Lucy stared at him blankly. No one was ever more done with another person than she probably was with him at this point.

Cooper sighed, frustrated that she was making him explain but he soldiered on anyways, “Listen… you’re already freezing. I run hot, on account of the lingering radiation. You can come lay yourself out over here and get that rest you’ve been whining about.”

Another blank stare, then, “…why do you care if I’m cold or not?”

Fuckin’ hell. This girl seemed dead set on being as difficult as possible.

As patiently as he could (though still gritting his teeth as he spoke), Cooper reasoned, “I didn’t ask you to come along with me to hunt down answers only so you could freeze yourself to death in less than a week, honey. We’re partners in this, even if you don’t like me right now. Don’t be stubborn and hurt yourself to spite me when I’m trying to help you.”

He did mean it, even if he was downplaying the amount of affection he felt for her morose ass. Partners felt like the right way to describe them anyways; equals in pain, in betrayal, in this journey together to get to the truth.

Lucy either must have sensed some sort of sincerity in what he was saying or got tired of arguing and being cold because finally, she came over to his side of the fire. She sat down on the ground nearly a foot from him, working at unlacing her boots and kicking them off. If he would have had eyebrows to raise, Cooper would have raised them as she worked at her jumpsuit next, pulling it off to tuck it neatly in a stack over her shoes.

She sure wasn’t a bashful one, unashamed of laying down in front of him in her undershirt and simple white Vault-tec-issued panties. Cooper tried to turn to face the ceiling of the garage, avert her gaze, but he couldn’t help watching her out of his peripherals again. Fuck. He had seen women in Frederick’s of Hollywood lingerie years back, all trussed up in silk and lace meant to entice and tease. Yet he didn’t remember it being as utterly mind-meltingly hot as this idealistic vault-dweller in filthy cotton who wasn’t even playing at being seductive. His mouth felt dry and Cooper’s throat clicked as he tried to swallow.

It made sense, from a practical point of view, that she would strip down as much as she could to try to collect as much of his body heat as possible. But still, Cooper had to make a concentrated effort not to do something foolish like touch her as Lucy tried to get comfortable by his elbow. She scootched her legs closer until they were nearly tangled with his.

“You are warm,” She mused drowsily, then she was out like a light. Exhaustion had caught up with Lucy after the emotional rollercoasters her life had rode recently and all of the ceaseless traveling.

Cooper had finally gotten used to her smooth, chilly legs being wrapped up with his and was feeling his eyes start to grow heavy in weariness too when she started moving again. At first, he had thought the girl was shifting around to make herself more comfy as the plushness of both of her thighs bracketed one of his own, sighs escaping the pink of her mouth in barely audible whispers. Then, Lucy’s hips started moving, the heat between her legs hotter than the Mojave sun even through the thick fabric of his pants and suddenly Cooper was more awake than he had ever been in his life.

He was no stranger to wet dreams or even touching himself in his sleep. Years of refraining from intimacy other than his own hand would do that to a man. There were plenty of times he’d wake up, his own cock in his hand, trying in vain to chase after some half-remembered dream of some memory from a better time. Cooper knew better than anyone that you couldn’t always control yourself when the urges got pent up and you weren’t even conscious enough to rein them in before they started.

However, as he watched through half-lidded eyes as Lucy ground herself against his leg like a bitch in heat, Cooper told himself that maybe she was somewhat aware. She had chosen to take his offer to lay next to him, was dragging her cunt against him desperately to get some kind of friction. Maybe this was meant to happen. Perhaps she wanted him, deep down, like he did with her.

The kind of man that Cooper had been before the bombs dropped, before being tortured, fucked with, chewed up and spit out by the wastes… that man would have stopped this. The old Coop would have blushed and stammered and woken Lucy up, apologizing all the while as if he had been the one to do something inappropriate. The Cooper who was Janey’s dad and who always believed in doing the right thing would have been sweet but firm, maybe even unfolding the crumpled pillow to spread out his duster to create a silly barrier between them as if it would help protect the vaultie’s modesty. Cooper could see those options as still available to him now, could see himself in his mind’s eye being chaste and virtuous.

Cooper disregarded those thoughts as quickly as they had flitted through his mind.

He wasn’t that man any more. He wanted, he craved, he desired so badly that it roiled in his gut like a tsunami’s waves cresting at the shore. Cooper had been, if he was being entirely honest with himself, lusting after her from the moment she had spit his finger into the dirt. He had clocked her as beautiful as soon as he had first seen her but he hadn’t truly wanted her until the bloody and honest explosion of violence between them. It had been years, decades upon decades, before he had found anyone attractive besides in a detached, clinical kind of way. Suddenly his need felt inescapable, all-consuming, as if it might come alive and devour him and Lucy both if he didn’t do something about it soon, now that he had been made aware of its existence. Why not act on it?

The man that Cooper was before was as half-dead and buried as that thing that Dom Pedro put into the ground and only excavated to cut into and bleed. Cooper was the ghoul now and he could allow himself this with minimal shame. Lucy already thought him a beast; Cooper could be beastly in his own way and live up to those expectations.

The last sign of hesitation from him was the twitch of his hands before they resolutely settled on Lucy’s hips. She didn’t shudder away, didn’t react beyond the same mindless cant of her hips. She seemed to be struggling to get off, poor thing, if the furrow of her brow and frustrated sighing was any indication. Really, wouldn’t it be kind of him to help her out? Cooper’s hands grasped her sides more securely and steadily, carefully, began guiding her movements. As unhurriedly as possible as to try not to disturb her, he rolled her body so Lucy was draped more over him rather than off to his side.

Cooper made sure she was pushing her pussy faster, harder, against the meat of his thigh, flexing the muscles there to try to provide more friction. It had been a long time since he had done this, especially dry humping like some kind of pathetic teenager in the back of their parent’s borrowed car. Some things were instinctual apparently as Lucy’s noises became louder, breathier, shifting from seeping with frustration to pleasure instead.

And speaking of seeping, her no-nonsense cotton panties felt drenched already. Soaking through his clothes and painting his thigh. If Cooper wasn’t already hard, he would be thinking about how his pants would smell like her for a long time after this. It was usually a long time between washes for him since laundry wasn’t something he prioritized so would he catch whiffs of her heady musk occasionally when the wind whipped around just right? He’d rather like a reminder of this night in case it didn’t happen again, something to aid him when he was fisting his shaft over thoughts of her anyways.

Lucy was easy to move like this, slumped and heavy but unresisting. Cooper toyed with the thought of shifting her over his trapped erection, grinding the two of them together until she found completion with him, their cum mixing together through the fabric between them. It seemed almost romantic, in a way, the melding of their essences. God, was he tempted. But he wanted to focus on Lucy this time, make sure she got off without being too distracted by his own needs. He could jerk off later if necessary. Right now, it was more important to make sure she felt good since maybe she’d be less chilly to him tomorrow if she was less tense.

Besides, maybe this would count as a small apology. Here, forget about the finger amputation and the trafficking and the lassoing now that you’re less pent-up (even if you weren’t awake for it)!

Cooper was aware that really, he was making a thousand different excuses and justifications for this but at the end of the day, he simply wanted this. Wanted Lucy. Wanted her body like his in the parody of intimacy, even if she wasn’t aware it was him that she was rutting against. He would take her in any capacity that he could have her and hold on with both hands.

Much as he did now, sliding his hands from her lithe hip bones to the swells of her ass. For such a little thing, she had a nice ass and it felt like the perfect size to sit in his palms as he made her roll her hips down. Lucy gasped out something that sounded like his name, as delusional as that was, and it egged him on to drag her against his thigh even harder. Oh, he felt a gush of wetness on that one and it made a slow grin creep onto Cooper’s face.

“Atta girl, there we go,” He murmured out loud before he could help himself and whether it was his volume or Lucy recognizing his voice, he didn’t know but her eyes started to flutter open. Her eyelashes dancing across her upper cheekbones as she blearily started to freeze, not really sure what was happening.

“Cooper? What’s going on?” Lucy started to mumble, then he felt her stiffen as she took in the scene around her. Her bare thighs trembling on either side of one of his wider ones, her juices soaking through the gusset of her panties and leaving a trail behind on the stripes of his pants like a body of water marked on an ancient map. And, maybe most damning since they were signs of Cooper’s enthusiastic involvement in this situation, his white-knuckled grip on her ass and his eyes clearly open (and wide awake).

Something unidentifiable and panicked crossed Lucy’s face, maybe embarrassment or horror. She was starting to pull back, babbling out some sort of apology. Which was baffling within itself because why was she the one apologizing when Cooper had been groping her in her sleep like some kind of pervert?

Regardless, Cooper wasn’t a stupid man (though sometimes it was easier to pretend he was). He could see clearly what would happen if he let her disentangle herself from him and put an end to this. Lucy would be awkward, weird and even more tense and he’d be back to talking to himself for hours while Dogmeat padded along silently alongside them (whenever the dog found them again).

No dice. Cooper saw an opportunity and like a scorpion, he struck.

Lunging forward, he grasped one of her wrists and yanked her forward so she was laid out over him once more. He shot her a dangerous, wicked smile as he crooned, “Aw, giving up on getting off already, sweetie? And here I thought you were a real persistent kind of girl.”

She seemed flabbergasted, unsure of how to respond, stammering out, “I wasn’t trying to, I mean, it wasn’t my intent to-“

Cooper’s agile fingers crept underneath the edge of her plain, prudish underwear and danced lightly over the frills of Lucy’s clit. It was slippery from how her hole was leaking arousal and was partially curtained behind a thin veil of pubes, unshaven but trimmed, but he found it easily anyways. He hummed in approval that she wasn’t clean-shaven, as if she had done it for his personal preferences alone.

“No matter your intent, here we are. Do you want me to continue? I can make you feel real good, Lucy,” Cooper offered, his voice all low, liquid sin. Temptation and slithering scales in the garden of Eden. Amping up the Southern drawl and hoping the seductive timber of it would distract from the fact that he was a desiccated thing that looked fit for the rad-vultures to pick over.

Maybe it was because he had used her name for once instead of a barrage of nicknames but there was only a beat of hesitation before Lucy nodded. There was something fierce and impulsive in that up-and-down of her head, something startling that reminded Cooper of when her teeth had closed around his finger and chewed through skin and sinew in a scissor-like severing. In the heart of her, Lucy wasn’t shy and timid. She would take things as they came, and adapt… and Cooper, he intended to make her come.

Without any further fanfare, Cooper shifted her body so she was upright, on her knees over him. From this angle, she towered over him and he thought to himself that this felt right. Lucy above him, him below, worshipping her the way she deserved. The way that he should have been from the start, if he had known that she wasn’t all carefully curated Vault cult-babble and was a earnest goddess in human shape instead.

His hands pulled down her panties, helping her rock unsteadily on her knees to get them fully out of the way. Even with there being barely any light to see by besides the crackling remains of their fire that was steadily going out, Cooper could see the way her slick glistened across her pussy, drawing his eyes to her puffy pink lips partially obscured by a dark scattering of hair. God, Lucy looked like all of those old pin-up girl nudie magazines come to life, even in her blood-crusted undershirt and disheveled hair. Cooper could feel pre-cum leaking out of his dick in a way he knew was probably already dotting the outside of his trousers but he couldn’t bring himself to give a shit. Not when he had all this beauty on display, waiting to be played with.

“Look at her, such a pretty pussy, ain’t she?” Cooper murmured admiringly, brushing his leather-clad fingers in a testing manner over her entrance. He was immediately gratified at how her arousal coated the material, showing that Lucy didn’t seem to mind that he hadn’t taken the gloves off. He was sorely tempted to remove them so he could feel her silky flesh under his bare skin but… he had a feeling that she’d have something to say about him reclaiming her finger as one of his own. He didn’t want to risk cutting this encounter short by Lucy bawling him out. Maybe she’d be in a good enough mood after this that he could chance it in the future.

When Lucy’s only response was a hitched breath, Cooper hummed and shifted his hand accordingly, taking it as a go-ahead. The heel of his palm resting against where her clit lived, two fingers moving further to delve into her cunt. Her walls immediately clenched around him at the intrusion and he couldn’t help the low chuckle that escaped him. Oh, this wouldn’t take long at all. He had called it when he figured Lucy was wound tight like a garrote wire.

His eyes flicked up to watch her face and was startled to see that Lucy was looking right back at him. The ghoul had figured it would be easier for her to stay wet if she was looking away, pretending he was someone else, but no. The sizable pools of her eyes were focused on him even as her cunt drooled around his fingers and welcomed them in further. She was fully aware of what was happening and who she was doing this with.

If he didn’t already know that he was infatuated by this girl, Cooper would know it now by how his heart lurched forward like it had gotten snared by a lasso’s loop. She was really something, wasn’t she? And he was going to make sure that she stayed his, even after this whole bullshit business with her daddy was concluded.

He crooned out, mock-sympathetically and cloying, “Aw, poor baby, look at fuckin’ wet you are. I’m going to need a new pair of gloves after this, aren’t I? It’s alright, I’ll take care of you, sweet pea.”

“Do you ever stop talking?” Lucy snapped back, eyes narrowing to slits for a second before going half-lidded and unfocused when Cooper crooked his fingers in response. There was something poetic in the way his radiation-roughened and scraped skin disappearing into the cracked leather of his glove looked against the flawless canvas of her sex. He bet his hands would look equally good cupping her cute little tits if he pushed up the cloth but eh, one thing at a time. Cooper would save it for next time if he was so lucky to wheedle her into making this a regular occurrence.

It was almost funny how quickly the attitude fled her tone when he was making her feel good, much to Cooper’s amusement. Maybe that was the key to them getting along. It was hard to stay mad at someone who wanted to get you off.

His fingers pumped leisurely, enjoying the loud squelching noises that followed and the way that Lucy whimpered when he ground his palm against her clit at the same time. The faintly sweet and sweat-tinged smell of her need hung heavy on the air already and Cooper felt like he could get high off of it as easily as Jet.

“Now, that’s not polite, sweetheart. Especially when I’m doing you a favor by trying to make you less wound up,” Cooper pointed out, tilting his head at her. “Didn’t they teach you better manners than this in that prissy little vault of yours?”

He didn’t wait for or really expect a response, concentrating instead on pushing further against her fluttering walls until-

Ah, there she was. That textured spot on her inner walls that suddenly made Lucy get very noisy, reaching out to brace herself against his chest and not topple over from her kneeling position. Cooper grinned, feeling smug satisfaction burn through his chest at how her lips parted as she struggled amidst the waves of ecstasy overtaking her cute body.

“C-Cooper, that feels good, I’ve never… I’ve never reached climax before,” Lucy confessed, voice as quiet as the wind, cheeks coloring a delightful shade of pink not unlike the shade of her soft little cunt. “I think I’m going to…”

Cooper puzzled this over without slowing his hand’s movements; she didn’t seem like a virgin so the girl must have had a selfish lover or two in her past. This could only be good for him though, another way to ingratiate himself with her further. Another method to wiggle himself into the fissures of her very foundation and make himself invaluable to Lucy so she wouldn’t be quick to dispose of him.

Cooper had always liked to feel needed, appreciated, even before his life went to hell at the direction of Vault-Tec. That was one of the few things even the bombs couldn’t kill, the compulsion as deeply embedded in him as a tree’s roots and harder to kill than a radroach.

“Is that right? Don’t fret, honey, you’re going to come for me real soon. I know how to take care of you,” Cooper cooed at her, accent still all Nuka-Cola sweet and sticky-thick, working absolute overtime to distract and enthrall. “I’m always going to take care of you and this tight pussy of yours. That’s why she’s grabbing at my fingers, isn’t it? Your cunt knows she’s all mine even if you don’t want to admit it yet and doesn’t want to let me go.”

Cooper couldn’t remember if he had ever been big on talking during sex before, especially since it had been so long ago, but it felt natural now. Maybe because he had already been talking her ears off for days, maybe because he meant every possessive word. Either way, Lucy would have to put a bullet in his brain to get him away from her now, as if something in his twisted sentimentality for her was driving him feral and unable to be reasoned with.

Something about what he was saying must have gotten her going though because Lucy’s hole clenched more firmly around his fingers than ever. It reminded him, like most things did, of teeth chewing through skin and exposing the rot, the meat waiting underneath. Part of Cooper hoped that some shreds of him, drops of his tainted blood, had slid down her gullet that day so he could be even more a part of her. He wanted to be more deeply inside of her than questing digits stretching her open and making her keen. Cooper wanted her to gorge herself on him, make herself full and splattered with whatever remained of his humanity that he had left after so many horrible years had hollowed him out from the inside. He’d let her destroy him as long as he was hers, fully hers and a part of her until she was ready to decompose too.

Now though, he was making her cum, Cooper’s name sounding so fucking good being panted like this as her juices cascaded all the way down to his wrist and onto his clothes underneath her jittering thighs.

No one could blame him for being caught off-guard in the next moment as Lucy dipped her head forward to kiss him for the first time. The bounty hunter nearly jolted as her soft lips massaged against his more dry, cracked ones. Not exactly a promise of devotion from her, no screaming oath to the heavens, but his heavy balls tightened as he came in his pants like Cooper was on a hair trigger anyways. He tried not to react while he felt ropes of his cum spurting across his own scarred skin, pleasure fizzling up his spine like a firework being lit, but he grunted into the kiss before he could stop himself. He probably had fucking stars in his eyes when Lucy pulled back, was probably looking at her like some lovestruck cartoon character with their heart beating out of his chest, but he didn’t care.

Lucy herself was even more beautiful than usual, eyes heavy with sleep again but with a little light behind them once more. He hadn’t seen her smiling in what felt like ages but here she was, the corners of that perfect mouth turned up. Cooper returned that smile himself, feeling pleased, victorious. Well.

His tactic of talking her in circles hadn’t really helped but talking her through an orgasm seemed to have worked well enough. Duly noted. Cooper could learn from this and apply it to their interactions going forward.

“Thank you,” Lucy said hesitantly, though he couldn’t tell if it the hesitation was because she didn’t really want to thank a man who had done the sort of things he had done or if it was out of some sort of post-coital awkwardness. Either way, he’d take it.

In a gesture surprisingly tender from him, Cooper lifted his gloved hand (the one less sopping with her fluids) and swept her sweaty hair off of where it was sticking to her face. Airily, he replied, “You’re welcome. Now, we have lots of ground to cover tomorrow, vaultie. You should probably try to get some more rest rather than humping my leg like some kind of mongrel dog and getting a man all distracted.”

She huffed indignantly, mumbling something that sounded like an accusation that it didn’t seem that Cooper had seemed to mind it, but she slid off of his front and back into his side anyways. She brusquely pulled her underwear back on but neither of them seemed too concerned with trying to hunt down water or anything to get cleaned right now, not when it was such a late hour and they were already tired. It would be a problem for their future selves to tackle.

If she seemed more nestled into Cooper than before, one of her slender hands wriggling out to put itself over his heart, then that was no one’s business but theirs. Lucy’s breath shifted to something more snuffling and relaxed as she fell back into slumber not long after that.

Optimism bloomed in Cooper’s chest, like a plant struggling to poke its way out through a crack in concrete to reach sunlight. He had a feeling that they had made progress today and tomorrow… tomorrow would be a new day. He found himself looking forward to it.

#cw somnophilia #my fanfic writing #ghoulcy fic #ghoulcy smut #cooper howard smut #cooper howard x lucy maclean smut #cooper howard x lucy maclean #vaultghoul smut #vaultghoul #fallout tv smut #cw dubious consent

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louisupdates · 6 months ago

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[Translated from Spanish]

Red-hot musical maturity: Louis Tomlinson in Chile

By Savka Martinic | 25 MAY 2024

Louis Tomlinson, former member of the iconic band One Direction, dazzled Chilean fans with his concert as part of the 'Faith in the Future' tour, offering a show full of emotion, energy and a new, more rock-oriented approach in which has been working in the last few years of his musical career. The audience interaction, immersive graphics and exceptional musicians came together to create a magical night and from the moment Louis took the stage with ‘The Greatest’, it was clear that this was going to be a special evening.

Photo by Agustín León

The encounter was a flight through his greatest hits but also an example of the musical maturity he has achieved through this approach that at times nods to iconic bands like 'The Killers' and clear influences of indie rock. This musical progression is also reflected in the level of visual design of the concert, the screens that adorned the stage were not only a complement, but were an extension of the soul of each song where the color red predominated as evidence of the passion and rock vibe that he and his great team sought to capture. This color choice not only intensified the viewing experience, but also resonated with the energy and dynamism of Louis' performances. The light and visual effects were a true spectacle in themselves, elevating the sensory experience of the concert.

Along with this, and recalling the beginnings of his career as a boyband member, Tomlinson's constant interaction with the audience was the beating heart of the concert. Between songs, he shared messages of gratitude and part of the personal and artistic journey he has had in the last 3 years. At various moments during the concert, he stopped to look and interact with his audience, expressing his gratitude for being there and making evident his intention to generate genuine connection despite the magnitude of the stadium that made each person feel part of something special, something bigger than themselves. This type of authentic interaction is what Chilean fans needed to feel and what has also cemented Louis’ relationship with his audience over the years.

Along these lines, fans of the Brit expressed their gratitude with fan actions in songs like 'Kill My Mind' where the flashes of the cell phones in the chorus ignited a meeting that was beginning and that inaugurated the energy that remained high throughout the day. Each interaction elevated those present, creating a unique synergy between the stage and the crowd that did not go unnoticed by the singer, who was visibly excited and grateful.

Along with all the immersive experience that was lived in the stadium, the setlist of the concert was a perfect mix of songs from his solo career and some gems from One Direction. The singer performed 13 songs from the album that gives its name to the tour, 'Faith in the Future', 3 songs from his previous project 'Walls' and 4 covers including memorable hits from the boy band. Songs like 'Night Changes' and 'Where Do Broken Hearts Go' brought a touch of nostalgia and tears among loyal fans, while new songs like 'Bigger Than Me' and 'Out of My System' showed his evolution as artist. The closing with 'Where Do Broken Hearts Go' was the finishing touch to a night that will remain engraved in the memory of all those present.

Now, one of the most notable elements of all for those who have witnessed the different facets of the singer, was the change in Tomlinson's musical approach towards a more rock style, more mature and with much more aesthetic-musical coherence. Louis was accompanied by a group of talented musicians who brought each song to life with their skill and passion. The concert had rockstar vibes portrayed especially during songs like 'Kill My Mind' and 'Walls', where the guitar solos and powerful drums provided a raw and authentic energy that made the entire venue vibrate. In this way, his artistic maturity was also reflected in his musical influences in recent years, where covers of Post Malone's 'Chemical' and Arctic Monkeys' '505' were highlights, showing the versatility of Louis and his band to interpret and make these songs your own.

All in all, Louis Tomlinson's concert in Chile was not only a musical event, it was a transformative experience where red, the talented band that accompanied him, his charisma and the genuine connection with his audience were the protagonists. With 'Faith in the Future', Tomlinson not only demonstrated his prowess as a musician, but also opened a new chapter in his career, defying expectations and captivating hearts with his passion and commitment to authenticity.

Photos [x] [x]

#louis review #louis tomlinson #louis press #fitfwt24: santiago #24.5.2024

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nonreplicakitties · 6 months ago

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nonreplicakitties’ non replica masterpost!

linked below the cut are the tags to all the productions i have covered, along with a little summary!

Thunerseespiele 2017

this production was set in an abandoned amusement park and was performed at an outdoor stage built over the water of Lake Thun, Switzerland. it featured new costumes with a cybergoth aesthetic. this productions’ Tugger also rode around on a motorcycle!

Italian Tour 2009

this production featured masks and costume design inspired by commedia dell’arte! while not the first production in Italy, it was the first to be performed in Italian. this productions’ Skimbleshanks uses a shopping cart for his train prop!

Tampere 2017

this production was directed by Georg Malvius, who has been vocal about his dislike for the original CATS. the show features a rat as the silent “narrator,” describing his dream of becoming a cat. it also features especially unique wigs, looking much closer to human hairstyles than cat fur!

Australia Circus Tent Tour (1999)

this production was performed inside a giant CATS-themed circus tent, and included many circus elements, including trapeze, tumbling, and ball balancing. it used mostly replica-style costumes, although several cats got new wigs. this productions’ Mungojerrie took on the role of a circus captain and would direct the other performers in their circus feats!

Opera Populaire 2017

this production, set in an abandoned train station, took on a steampunk aesthetic with unique and intricate costumes! notably, this productions’ Mistoffelees is played by a woman!

Tecklenberg 2015

this production was performed at an open-air theater, and was also circus-themed! it featured brightly-colored costumes that accentuated the theme, as well as brand-new stunts. this productions’ Mistoffelees danced on aerial silks, and its Macavity was a fire-breather!

Macskák Budapest 1983

this was the third production of CATS ever performed internationally! it took place in an abandoned theater and featured new costumes and swing characters. while it opened in 1983, it has continued to play on certain dates to this day. in this production, Grizabella ascends to the Heaviside Layer on a giant chandelier!

Brno 2013

this production stands out because the characters are intended not to be cats, but humans, participating at a masquerade ball in a nightclub. this productions’ Grizabella is reborn as a kitten, played by an actual cat!

Perth/Mandurah 2019

this production featured new, neon-colored costumes with intricate psychedelic patterns. reportedly, it also included aerial silks and roller skates. this productions’ Skimbleshanks number featured a Thomas the Tank Engine inflatable costume!

Lahti 2007

this production featured new brightly colored ‘space-age’ costumes and made several changes to the characters and plot. some of the most notable are that Munkustrap and Rumpleteazer were in a relationship, and that Jennyanydots was played by a man!

Lahti 2016

this production, performed on the same stage as Lahti’s 2007 production, mainly featured circus performers exhibiting stunts such as acrobatics, aerial silks, and cyr wheel. notably, this productions’ costumes don’t resemble cats!

Kilworth House 2019

this production is set in a WWII-era bombed out London Underground station. the costumes represent many different walks of life from that era, including boy scouts, evacuating children, and glamour girls, creating a mix of human- and cat-like features. interestingly, this profuctions’ Coricopat and Tantomile are portrayed as children!

Warsaw 2004

in this production, the word Jellicle is translated to Dachowiec, which literally means “rooftop cat,” but is best translated as “alley cat.” fittingly, this production is set on the rooftops of Poland. it featured all-new costumes and choreography, as well as several new ensemble characters!

Gothenburg 2006 / Cirkus Stockholm 2009

this production was set in an abandoned amusement park and featured unique costumes, reportedly inspired by anime. the costumes and sets originally used in Gothenburg were reused for the Cirkus Stockholm production, which saw a return of many Gothenburg actors!

Helsinki 1986

this production featured new costumes and a large ensemble of named chorus cats, alongside swings. many changes were made to characters, for instance Bustopher Jones became a full character, Coricopat was female, and Growltiger and Griddlebone were played by different characters!

Oslo 1985

while the costumes in this production look quite different than current replica designs, they were actually created by London production costume designers, and were the standard London costumes at that time. the most unique aspect of this production is that Jemima doesn’t sing with Grizabella in Memory, rather it’s Grizabella’s younger self!

Oslo 2009

this production appears to be set in an abandoned warehouse or factory, and featured brand new costumes. this productions’ Tugger has an electric guitar which he apparently plays in his number!

Ullensaker 2016

this production was still set in a junkyard, with oversized appliances such as an oven and refrigerator making up the set. it featured all new costumes and wigs, and its Grizabella was played by drag queen Geir Ove Bredesen!

Melbourne 2020

this production, taking place in a decrepit music hall, is set in the 1930s, when T. S. Eliot would have been writing his works. it takes on a very distinct ‘flapper’ aesthetic with all-new costumes and choreography!

NQOMT 2019

this production was set in a post-apocalyptic London, featuring a set overgrown with moss and vines. the all-new costumes are described as “waste-lander,” as they are “made of things the Cats have collected through their life, as though they’re wearing their memories.”

Harvest Rain 2014

this was the largest production of CATS ever performed, with a cast of over 800, each dressed in their own unique costume (even the orchestra)! the show was staged in a convention centre, with a raised center platform for the main performers with the ensemble dancing around it.

SALT 2018

this production featured all-new costumes and makeup, as well as new wigs that seem to be created out of yarn!

Blue Bird Theater 2016

this production quite a bit shorter than the original show, with several songs cut or reordered. it takes several liberties with the story, the largest of which comes during the Macavity fight, where Macavity appears to kill Sillabub, with the story diverging somewhat from there.

Firehouse Theatre 2019

this production, featuring new costume designs, incorporated modern dance styles into its choreography! some costume elements, wigs especially, seemed to be changed and updated over the course of the show. this production also held cat adoption services before each Saturday show!

BMMS 2014

this production seemed to be set within a clock tower, and included steampunk-style costumes and theming. it had a large cast of over 80 performers, ranging from adults to teens and children!

Festival Players 2018

this production was set in a speakeasy during the prohibition era, with all-new 1920s-style costumes. it reportedly featured a female Macavity, Mungojerrie, and Skimbleshanks!

New Zealand Tour 2019

this production was reimagined as a “darker, more sensual” version of the show, inspired by post-earthquake Christchurch and set within an abandoned Victorian theatre. fittingly, the costumes are also redesigned to be darker and quite unique!

Pilsen 2014

this production seems to be focused more on costumes, giving each character a unique and detailed costume with pops of color. the set, however, is kept rather minimal, relying mainly on neon lighting and simple set pieces.

MAČKY 2016

this production is set in an abandoned department store in the London suburbs, with many cats dressed in the store’s apparel. it opened in April of 2016 and still seems to be playing today. notably, this productions’ Jemima seems to be played by two actresses, an adult for the dancing scenes and a child for her singing lines!

CRT 2012

this production was set in the back alley behind an abandoned theatre, making use of old props and stage lights for set dressing. it also featured all-new costumes, including some very fluffy legwarmers!

Mexico 2013/2018

this production leans slightly more replica, but the costume designs are reimagined as much more colorful than standard productions, with bold makeup and bright colors. it originally ran in 2013, but was revived in 2018 and played over 400 shows throughout its tour!

Abbey Musical Theatre 2007

this production was set in an abandoned carnival, with the costumes fittingly taking on a “dark circus” style, with detailed, over-the-top designs!

Ostrava 2018

this production is set on the rooftops of London, with new and colorful costumes! it opened in 2018 and is still being performed today. this peoductions’ Old Deuteronomy watches over the ball from his seat in a satellite dish!

Footlight Productions 2008

this production featured an all-new, brightly colored set and new costumes with a distinct blocky aesthetic. this productions’ version of the jellicle moon set piece was designed as a giant cat face!

Chorzów 2022

this production uses the same translation as Warsaw, calling the jellicles “roof cats!” it features unique and bright costumes with bold colors. it also has some character changes, such as Tantomile being male and Mungojerrie being played by a woman (although the lyrics still refer to him as male)!

Theatre by the Sea 2013

this production’s costuming leaned more towards replica, but has its own distinct flair! brightly colored neon lights seemed to be a main feature, lighting the stage with purples and pinks.

Paramount Theatre 2014

this production featured a unique set and some new choreography, but what stands out the most are the costumes! with all-new designs, these costumes feature intricate patterns, bedazzlements, and detailing. this productions’ Jennyanydots wears a Union Jack dress for her tap number!

Il Sistina 2022

this production was set in Rome, with the set being constructed out of oversized works of art, statues, and archeological finds, with the Colosseum in the background. it also featured new choreo and new, very fluffy costumes!

Wichita 2023

this production was set in an abandoned amusement park, the production crew actually using old signage from the defunct theme park Joyland to create the set! the costumes, while replica-leaning, are distinct as well, with their own flair. this productions’ Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer have bags of popcorn and cotton candy as their stolen goods!

Theatr Clwyd 2022

this production seemed to be take place in a high school setting, with human clothes based on different teenage and teacher aesthetics, while still retaining cat-like makeup and wigs! Mungo and Rumple were classic 80s teens, Jenny had a Ms. Frizzle-eque look, and Bombalurina had a punk aesthetic, just to name a few!

ArtsEd 2021

this production took on a vintage aesthetic, with the all-new costumes drawing inspiration from many different eras, including a classic ballerina outfit for Victoria and a puffy babydoll dress for Electra!

Luisenburg 2016

this production was described by the director as “a celebration of the diversity and character of each individual.” fittingly, it featured new costumes representing many walks of life, such as a punk Mistoffelees, Jenny in a victorian gown, and lederhosen-clad Mungo and Rumple!

Santiago 2024

Santiago 2014

Maynooth 2024

Candlelight Pavilion 2011

PAC 2024

WCT 2014

Thalia Muziektheater 2023

Prague 2004

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grits-galraisedinthesouth · 1 year ago

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Worldwide Privacy Tour Part 2, it seems, is well underway.

"Yes, the night was pure Meghan Markle: A manufactured build-up of anticipation, a highly dramatic entrance afforded no other actual activist — Meghan climbed on stage to the Alicia Keys she-ro anthem ‘Girl on Fire’ — and then... a whole lot of nothing...This crowd was checking their watches."

"If anything, as the night dragged on and the event slipped an hour behind schedule – a sudden break announced so we could finally have dinner – the crowd bristled...Notably, not one person I spoke to nor one speaker or honoree mentioned Meghan. Not one said how exciting it was to have her there. Not one expressed the slightest curiosity at what she’d have to say."

"And this image, our renegade duchess without a palace-worthy advance team to prevent such cheap optics as the Hertz hiccup, set the tone for the evening: Fatuous, irrelevant, high on its own self-regard, all sense of purpose lost. Gloria Steinem, once the face of women’s rights, reduced to star-f***ery. It was a bizarre night."

MAUREEN CALLAHAN: Meghan's word-salad Manhattan gala appearance

She so badly wants to be the Queen of Hearts.

But, as she arrived on Tuesday night, making her grand entrance in Midtown Manhattan, sauntering past that rental-car backdrop, it was more like the Queen of Hertz.

Of course, as the world is now all too aware, Meghan Markle capped off winning a meaningless award with what we’re told was a ‘near catastrophic’, ‘two-hour’ car chase through the streets of Manhattan.

Yes, according to a spokesperson, Meghan, along with hapless Harry and mom Doria, were the subjects of a wild, impassioned hunt by the paparazzi.

Some sympathetic commentators have already made the gruesome comparisons to Princess Diana’s tragic final fate.

But to echo the statements made by New York City’s own mayor Eric Adams and the police department: Perhaps it didn’t quite happen the way it was painted.

Recollections may vary.

Naturally, their mouthpiece Omid Scobie is whining that no one from the Palace has yet reached out.

Wonder why?

One also wonders what Gloria Steinem, the 89-year-old feminist icon who chose to honor Meghan as a ‘Woman of Vision’ at Tuesday night’s Ms. Foundation Gala, must be thinking now.

After all, the car ‘chase’ debacle soon stole all the thunder from her event, which I was lucky enough to witness first-hand.

Now, it was hardly the red carpet one might expect. Hardly the pomp and circumstance of, say, a coronation.

Yet Meghan forged ahead as she always does, as if this were her crowning moment, sheathed in gold as if to symbolize a crown.

Or an Oscar statuette.

Same difference, really, if your only goal is fame. That’s our Meghan, none too subtle as ever, literally going for the gold as Harry and Doria took their positions three steps behind.

Harry may be a prince of the blood, but never forget — Meghan is The Star. Her Norma Desmond-ing is among the great spectacles of our modern age.

And this image, our renegade duchess without a palace-worthy advance team to prevent such cheap optics as the Hertz hiccup, set the tone for the evening: Fatuous, irrelevant, high on its own self-regard, all sense of purpose lost. Gloria Steinem, once the face of women’s rights, reduced to star-f***ery. It was a bizarre night.

Upon entering the Zeigfeld Ballroom, guests were asked whether they were ‘VIP’ — seems even feminist movements have their echelons — and turfed to the lobby.

My $1,500 entry-level ticket got me a hard seat with a front-row view of coat check.

After ten minutes, circumstances having changed inexplicably, the riff-raff were allowed up to the second floor.

Here were two open bars serving top-shelf liquor and the shock of post-pandemic dress code slovenliness. One unkempt guest was wearing sparkly Birkenstock sandals and a black stretchy minidress under a pink puffer jacket.

These were the VIPs?

The only recognizable person I saw was Peloton instructor Ally Love, and that’s saying something. Where were the stars? Where were the notables of the movement? The Malalas? The Fondas? The Beyoncés?

Perhaps no one was meant to outshine Meghan. Only one feminist icon was going to enter via rental car office!

Down in the ballroom, the plated salads on our banquet tables were ready waiting for us – dry, unsightly, stringy greens that resembled nothing so much as regurgitated hairballs. Notably, not one person I spoke to nor one speaker or honoree mentioned Meghan.

Not one said how exciting it was to have her there. Not one expressed the slightest curiosity at what she’d have to say.

If anything, as the night dragged on and the event slipped an hour behind schedule – a sudden break announced so we could finally have dinner – the crowd bristled.

It says something when a table of size-6 women tear into their heavily glazed steak and buttery mashed potatoes with abandon.

Yes, the night was pure Meghan Markle: A manufactured build-up of anticipation, a highly dramatic entrance afforded no other actual activist — Meghan climbed on stage to the Alicia Keys she-ro anthem ‘Girl on Fire’ — and then... a whole lot of nothing.

Verbiage and word salad that were content-free, except when speaking on her favorite subject: herself.

Here, in real time, we observed Meghan’s inability to read a room. She thanked the ‘other honorees’ without naming them.

‘Congratulations,’ she said, ‘and frankly, well deserved.’

It was all so smug and supercilious, this glorified podcaster telling these boots-on-the-ground activists — no matter what one thinks of their politics — that they had, in fact, earned their place on the same stage as the great Meghan Markle. That ‘frankly’ was so typical. It was meant to redound to Meghan’s benefit, as the lone wolf daring to speak the unspeakable.

There was the cringe-inducing humblebrag, calling her new friend Gloria ‘Glo’.

It brought to mind the forced intimacy of meeting Kate Middleton barefoot and insisting that the pair share lip gloss.

It's 'Glo' to Meghan, but Meghan is 'Duchess' to us.

‘We all bear witness,’ Meghan continued of her fellow honorees, ‘to you standing in elegance and the power of your strength.’

Huh?

This crowd was not convinced. This crowd was checking their watches. There were trains to catch, children to kiss goodnight. Alas, we were stuck with the vapidity of La Markle.

Her speech didn’t even deliver fresh content! She repeated the story, as told on her podcast, of poor little Meghan coming home from school to her TV dinner, cat collars and copies of Ms. Magazine strewn about courtesy of her mother — even though it’s well-documented that her father primarily raised her.

‘Having these pages in our home,’ she went on, ‘. . . signaled to me that there was so much more than the dolled-up covers and those images that you would see on the grocery store covers. It signaled to me that substance mattered.’

Says the former D-list actress and former briefcase game-show girl who used her looks to get ahead. Who has posed for those very same magazine covers.This warmed-over speech, less heated than our steaks, was Meghan’s greatest hits:

‘Change is just one action away.’

‘You can be the visionary of your own life.’

‘Daily acts of service, in kindness, in advocacy, in grace and in fairness.’

‘The imprints that were forged in my mind — I can now connect the dots in a much better way to understand how I became a young feminist and evolved into a grown activist.’

A feminist who, let us not forget, has publicly demonized her famous sister-in-law — ‘Waity Katie’ to Oprah and an audience of millions.

Kate made me cry! WAAAGH!

In truth, Meghan's a self-identified 'grown activist' who has done nothing. The pontification, her sing-song-y cadence as she luxuriated in her own praise, was as insufferable as it was revealing.

‘Ms.’ she said, ‘was formative in [my] cocooning. It piqued my curiosity, and it became the chrysalis for the woman that I would become and that I am today.’

Right: The woman who vilified the institution headed-up by Queen Elizabeth II in her final years. The woman who heavily alleged institutional racism until her husband finally backed away from that terrible smear.

A woman with no substance and no accomplishments as a feminist. A woman who is still trying to one-up the royals, even from a car-park adjacent ballroom with no red carpet. Meghan is the personification of Ms. as an organization that has lost its way.

Indeed, most of the night was spent advocating not for women but for trans rights and Critical Race Theory.

‘Abortion is racist,’ we were told.

Beware the ‘the white supremacist patriarchal system.’

Yes, even the Ms. Foundation – established for biological women out of a deep, and enduring, necessity – has been subsumed by men who identify as women.

How fitting then that the night was overshadowed by a grasping phony whose empty platitudes on stage failed to make headlines, whose spokesperson told a wild story of a high-stakes car chase.

Pity Meghan, but recognize her strength. Admire her, but never laugh at her. And never, ever question her veracity.

Worldwide Privacy Tour Part 2, it seems, is well underway.

#worldwide privacy tour #waaagh #megxit #fraud and fraudess #jussie smollett #maureen callahan #ms #gloria steinem #hertz #hertz dress #hertz so bad #sparry #word salad #low rent #participation trophies #participation awards #south park

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ag-updates-and-archives · 5 months ago

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Circa Survive’s Anthony Green on his life and music: “I feel very fresh in the world.”

[part 1 of gallery, text under the cut]

Newly thirty-six, Anthony Green reflects on his life and career at a time when he’s never felt more alive.

Anthony Green is lying on the floor in the second of three green rooms located behind the main stage of The Intersection in Grand Rapids, Michigan. There’s a foam roller under his back, working out the knot and sore spots from what feels like a lifetime on the road, and there’s a half-drank smoothie sitting by his side. “My day is good,” he says while flashing a smile, “ I woke up this morning, and I play a rock and roll concert tonight. That’s the best day of my life.”

By these standards, Green has been living the best day of his life nearly every day for the past week. It’s March 30, and Circa Survive has recently launched a Spring tour with support from Foxing and Hail The Sun. The trip is the band’s first proper headlining run since the release of their sixth studio album, The Amulet, in September of 2017. The band has been on the road nonstop, but this string of performances offers more ownership of production than other recent outings.

“This is the first week, and it’s going great,” he explains, still stretching on the floor. “It’s always weird getting back out for me. I have these two completely different lifestyles, me being home and then me being on tour, so transitioning is always a little bit tough, but it was pretty seamless this time. We’ve been having more fun this week than we have in the last like year or two. We did a bunch of co-headlines over the last year, and that is always kind of weird. You never really know what’s going on. They were with our friends’ bands and everything, so it was cool, but, I don’t know, this feels good.”

The production for this tour is scarce but impactful. A mostly empty stage provides ample room for Green and the other members of Circa Survive to move as the band is illuminated by a flurry of lights, most notably lead by an arch of fixtures affixed to the back wall. Green says the idea came to him in a dream, and when he woke he asked the band’s Lighting Director to make it a reality.

“I think it happened right around Christmas time,” he says, remembering the dream in question. “It was slightly different, but it was just like that sort of half arch just going down, so it sort of kind of brought this little glow that created a focal point rather than some extravagant thing. It was simple, and I liked that.”

To hear Green use the term “simple” in regards to anything he’s creating or created can be cause for laughter amongst fans. Whether he’s writing as part of a larger group or working alone, Green has been heralded for his unique voice and perspective since for the better part of twenty years, in part because of its complexity. His most devoted fans spend hours, even days, working to decipher the meaning behind every line of every song he’s ever written. The mystery of it all is part of the fun, and that goes for Green as well. Even now, with his thirty-sixth birthday taking in April, he’s as excited as ever about the life he leads.

“I feel so fucking young; it’s so fucking weird. I don’t feel like I’m thirty-six. I see guys who are also thirty-six, and they’re dropping their kids off with me at their school, or taking part in father-son day at school, and I’m like, “dude, am I like that?”

Green shakes his head and laughs before continuing, “ But I’m so punk! I’m not like that! But, it feels terrific. It’s weird because I think if you were to ask me four or five years ago, I would’ve said I felt old. I saw an interview with myself from when I was thirty where I talked about feeling old, back when I was out of shape. It took me a long while to figure this life out, and I feel like if there’s a calendar of figuring it out, then I finally got to the first day. I’m like, “Okay! I got something under my belt now!” And I’m starting over. So I feel very fresh in the world.”

Before talk can turn to plans for celebration, Green explains he’s ultimately not all that concerned birthdays, or at least with his own.

“I woke up today and thought about how I get to play a concert today. At home are my beautiful children and wonderful wife, out here are my incredible friends and my career that couldn’t be better, and I have a multitude of creative people in my life that I can go and make something from. I can say the most fucked up shit that I feel and think and share that with people and feel not alone. So birthdays are kind of like, who needs a birthday? Who needs to do that? Every day of my life I’m like. ‘holy shit, I’m alive. I’m doing this.”

This moment brings Green back to a previous conversation had with the same interviewer, which took place in August of 2017. At the time, Green was making one final summer trip with his family before Circa Survive released The Amulet and his schedule demanded he returned to the road. Green had taken the call while at a then-unnamed beach, and upon remembering the moment, his eyes grow wide with wonder.

“We were at Avalon,” he says, his voice conveying longing to preserve that memory forever. “We just rented a house for two weeks for when this is all over — I’m doing this tour for my first [solo] record, Avalon. It’s a ten-year tour that will run in the summer until early August, and then the day after that we stay down there. The last show is in Asbury Park, and then we go to Avalon for two weeks and go to the beach every day.”

Discussing the passing time with anyone can be a tricky matter. Even artists who are celebrating what some may consider milestones in their career can view such occasions through an entirely different lens. Perhaps the album we celebrate as the best is one they regret, or maybe the fact it is so beloved in comparisons to other work they may feel is better has caused them to grow tired of their creation. Green admits he has not always looked back on himself fondly, but as he’s matured so has his outlook on life.

“I think we created this culture of, “oh, I feel old,” but I think we’re going to change the tides of that to like, yo, that’s an important thing! Like, yes, to endure something and be stronger and to grow and to age and to learn is a beautiful, beautiful thing where it happens as a culture, as a society, or as an individual, I haven’t always celebrated that, and maybe it’s because it’s happening to me. Maybe it’s just because of that fact that I recognize it, but I’m smarter now than I was when I was 20. I was such a dumbass, such a prick. I was such a piece of shit, you know? So I’m grateful to be 36 and to be still able to do this.”

Green has certainly put in his time as a musician. He formed his first band while still in high school, making his career in music something that arguably been a part of his life for over twenty years. Throughout those two decades, he has played a pivotal in the development, popularity, and continued existence of alternative music. He would never admit to any of this, nor would he accept the credit if you tried to give it. For him, music is far more personal pursuit, and one that continues to surprise.”

“There’s a song on my upcoming solo record where the chorus is, “keep your mouth shut.” The lyric “keep your mouth shut” goes to back to literally to when I was in the fucking band Saosin writing stuff down for song ideas. Later, on maybe the second Circa Survive tour, it came up again. We have these improvisational moments worked into songs in the live show, and I started using “keep your mouth shut” again during that time. Now, all these years later, it finally made it into the course of a song. It’s exciting. It’s an exciting thing for me to think that when I sit down to write at night when my kids are in bed, it’s 9:30, 10:00, and I’m exhausted, and I’m going to write until 2:00 in the morning. It brings me a feeling of validation or comfort knowing that something I might write tonight might come into use when I’m fifty! I want to put in the work.”

Optimistic as the previous statement may sound, Green is unsure he has another ten years in the industry. He hopes that is the case, and he’s working hard to be optimistic, but he’s also a realist.

“To me,” he begins, “I almost look at my career as just a dream, and I’m operating within it as a dream, and it’s awesome. It’s not going to be forever though. I know I’m going to wake up. I get a lot of much joy out of just finishing a song and being able to share it. I don’t need to have a certain amount of likes. Its existence is all that matters, and so that’s kind of what I’m focusing on right now, is so when this is all something…when I can’t move my body like this anymore, people don’t like my voice, or whatever it is, that I am still in this relationship with the muse and with the thing that’s been blessing me with the true feeling of why this is important from the very beginning. It’s not because somebody tells you that you’re good, and it’s not even because somebody is there reflecting your same feelings, it’s a self-contained, self-created tool.”

Green could probably discuss the muse and his interaction with it for hours. Ten years ago he could probably speak on it even longer, but the man he was at twenty-six could never have predicted the father of four he would become now. His career has never been in a healthier position than it is right now, yet that matters very little in comparison to life Green leads off the road. He tries his best to be in the moment, something he swears to be working on daily, but he’ll be the first to admit such behavior is sometimes hard to justify.

“You can’t always just be in the moment because things happen. People get pregnant, people get hurt, you have to think about the future, and you have to think about consequences, but I try not to go too far into what’s going to be. I can imagine lots of things, but when I’m expired, I want my children to undoubtedly be able to say that they had the best experience with their dad. All of this stuff is awesome, and I love this, it’s a fun game I get to play. Still, the most important thing to me is that when I’m not here that they’re able to say that they had a true relationship with me and that they knew me better than anybody else.”

Fatherhood didn’t come easy for Green. Much like his renewed outlook on life itself, Green feels he is very much only now beginning to understand how to be a dad.

“In a lot of ways I’m just waking up,” he says with a smile as wide as his face will allow. “I had kids, and even when James was a little boy, I was doing my best, but I didn’t know what to do, and I was judging things and judging myself. I was doing a lot of work to hide all of my anxiety and all of my stress and all of my insecurities from people; it was tearing me apart. I think that it took a lot of tough experiences and lots of processing work, going to therapy, talking to people in my life that I care about, talking to my kids, talking to my dad, and thinking about what kind of fucking person do I want to be? What do I want out of this? What is the point, you know? To me, it all boils down to them and those boys. I love making music, and it is in a lot of ways the only thing that even comes close to those boys and in a lot of ways those boys, they’ll never… nothing will ever be the same as what music is for me. Music is the greatest passion of my life, and it can’t compare it to the love that I have for a child or a human being because it’s greater than that, it’s beyond us. It’s beyond who I think I am or who I pretend to be out in the world. It’s like a real spiritual thing. It’s nature. It’s something we can’t describe. It’s like the way they talk about God. That’s the way I feel about it.”

The happiness being expressed by Green at this moment is different than anything he’s conveyed up to this moment in the conversation. He, and perhaps everyone else present for this discussion, has realized that life is where he wishes it to be at this moment. More importantly, he appreciates the fleeting nature of the balance he’s been able to attain and wants to make the most of it.

“We see things all the time from this perspective of “oh this is hard, oh this is awful” or whatever, it’s so incredible. You’re so incredible to long for somebody or to miss somebody or to have loved something, you know? And if you want to focus on the thing that it’s temporary, that’s the reason why it’s so great! Because it’s not forever, it’s finite! It’s like a flower, you know? And our relationships, our life is like the most beautiful part of the blooming of the flower. It would be nothing; it wouldn’t be a joy if it were forever.”

He continues, “The thing about life is that you’re constantly getting reminded that it’s the last of something. The last time you do something, the last time you see someone, etc. We as people want to be comforted by the fact that everything’s going to be great forever, And that’s why we’re so fucked up. We can’t accept that things aren’t going to feel good. They’re not going to feel good. You’re not going to be happy all the time. You’re going to be fucking miserable, sometimes, and it’s important, and you have to go through it. A hermit crab when it goes from one shell to another goes through the most excruciating pain; it’s a thing that happens to it so it knows to get the fuck out of there so it can grow. Without that pain, we’d never grow, never change shells, or live. We need it!”

When asked how his kids feel about their father’s chosen career path, Green explains how he’s instilled a grounded perspective on his work. He’s no rock star, nor would he ever want to be called one. When people ask his kids if they know their father is someone famous they reply by informing the person who is speaking that their dad is not famous, just a musician.

“Famous people suck,” he says, having paused his stretching long enough to take a drink of his still unfinished smooth. “I don’t want to be thought of ever like that. I want people who like our band to know that they can come right over to me and talk to me and then if I’m weird about it, it’s because of the thing that makes me weird that makes me make the music thing. It’s not because I hate them or I think I’m better than them; it’s because it’s weird to have people do that to you. I hate it; we are anti-rockstar anti-all of that stuff. We’re like performance artists.”

Rising to the floor with plans to begin yoga in a few minutes, Green takes one last moment to reflect on his place in life and what the future might hold. He appears to have no interest in spoiling the fun of the unknown, but he is striving to better overall. He’s learned happiness comes not from the journey itself and not one particular moment or destination. It is what you make it, and he’s not done building just yet.

“I witness artists getting older, and it seems that many have lost touch with themselves. Some artists are growing, but I have some contemporaries — which I will not name — that make music that makes me wonder if they are making noise only to keep going? It doesn’t sound to me like they give a shit. It feels like they’re just trying to make their fans happy or something, or like they’re fighting to remain relevant. You have to fearlessly not give a fuck about that shit and know that you’re not relevant. You never were! Just because a fucking magazine put you on the cover once doesn’t mean you were relevant. They trick themselves to think that they’re not, that they were and now they’re not anymore. You never were. You’re only as relevant as how honest you can be with yourself and [that music] does not sound honest, so fuck off, you know?

Four or five years ago I was in such a dark place that I thought about killing myself. Coming out of that was like a rebirth, and I still feel that renewed excitement over life every day? So it’s weird. I feel like when I look back on when I thought the band was relevant, I thought the band was anything, we’ve never been as in tune with each other as we are now, and I think that’s what makes it relevant. It’s relevant to me.”

#the amulet tour #anthony green #circa survive #ive been dying to reach queue #pics just dropped #interview alert #colin frangicetto #nick beard #brendan ekstrom #steve clifford #james shotwell #benjamin howell

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