#no no one hurt me lmfao
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Considering to the current 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬 poll results, this is the first fic to be uploaded...
𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙃𝙖𝙨 𝙉𝙤 𝘿𝙞𝙜𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙮 (Yandere!Neuvillette/Reader)
Unreliable Synopsis: "Your Honor, I would like to challenge Champion Duelist Clorinde to clear my charges." (The plot happens a month before the Fontaine AQ.)
Content Warnings: Hurt/No Comfort
Upload Date: December 7, 2023 (8PM Thursday, UTC+8)
Reply to this post if you wish to be in the 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬 taglist!
#ansy-reports#yep i already finished writing the fic. hope you guys are up for some angst cuz it was quite plenty in this one lol!!!#no no one hurt me lmfao#yandere neuvillette x reader#yandere neuvillette
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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Maybe I'm a masochist, a sadist, or both, but I have to say it... we were robbed of a real reaction shot of Charles hearing Edwin screaming from Esther's device.
The one time it cuts back to Charles struggling, Edwin has temporarily stopped screaming. Then the girls show up and keep Esther busy, so he's not screaming for a significant amount of time. Charles is getting his bag and picking the lock during that time. When Esther restarts the device again at a higher level, Charles is dropping down into the snake pit.
We never actually see Charles hearing him even though he definitely could. Niko and Crystal could hear his screams from outside.
If they were going to emphasize that Charles was completely helpless and unable to do anything to rescue Edwin, and then make us listen to his agony, the least they could've done was give us that reaction as compensation for the devastation they unleashed on us.
(ko-fi)
#does this make me a masochist?#cause it would hurt my heart?#does this make me a sadist?#cause i want to see them suffer?#who the hell even knows#but if you're going to make protectiveness one of the main qualities of their relationship#you gotta go all in on how destroying it is for one to see or hear the other in pain#their name is payneland for a reason#they gotta live up to it lmfao#when their partner being in pain hurts them more than their own injuries do#you know it's the good shit#dead boy detectives#rambles: dead boy detectives#the case of the hungry snake#charles rowland#jayden revri#payneland
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i miss my wife
#estrogen would've saved her tbh#the fly#the fly (1986)#seth brundle#brundleposting#i miss my wife so much it hurts#he was so pretty in this movie... until he wasn't 💀#glad to see i'm not the only one getting egg vibes from seth#the movie gave me hella trans vibes somehow but i'm too weed brain damaged to explain LMFAO#jeff goldblum#the fly seth brundle
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;R1999 FORGET ME NOT - General Headcanons
Compilation of headcanons and analysis on Forget Me Not as a character and other related things.
this post was brought to you by me, procrastinating on the second part of the Cover analysis and those yandere Pavia headcanons, and ALSO because mister lawrence cavendish jr is the second target for my brainrot
warning for suicide and self-harm themes!
On the subject of Forget Me Not's name and past.
It's Lawrence Cavendish Jr. Forget Me Not's real name is confirmed to be just that, as seen in this specific excerpt:
"Cavendish Jr, who was still alive and once sat in front of you [...]" which alludes to the dinner Vertin had at the Walden with Druvis III and Forget Me Not, and "'Forget Me Not', what a hilarious, stupid name". I only included this because I've seen people wonder about it.
What I mean to tackle in this point is the relationship between Forget Me Not, his origins and his current chosen name. Despite his calm and collected appearance, it becomes clear that Forget Me Not is one hair away from becoming entirely deranged, especially when confronted with the possibility of getting revenge. But why is Forget Me Not so focused on revenge specifically?
His backstory is not as openly laid out for us to read, but we can gleam some bits and pieces from all the documents and dialogue he has. To understand Forget Me Not, we also need to look at Druvis III.
All throughout chapter 02, we see parallels and connections being drawn between Forget Me Not and Druvis III - both of them appear to be extremely aloof, cold and collected, only to be revealed to be very emotional deep down, for better and for worse. Druvis III is initially defined by the neutrality and inertia that comes with being stuck in the past, while Forget Me Not is initially defined by the neutrality of the Walden and his ties with Manus Vindictae, an organization that rejects the future.
Druvis III is a disgraced, fallen noble whose life wasn't ruined by the fire that took her family, but the perception the world had of her, an image they forced onto her due to their hatred towards arcanists. And Forget Me Not has a family surname "buried in the dust, shot dead in history". A disgraced, fallen noble implied to have struggled with poverty, battling hunger and suicide countless of times. In the "··· Formula: 1920s" document, we can see a few pieces from various people and their opinions on Forget Me Not from the Big Mouth Bulletin. 3 out of 4 want him dead or think of him as a monster - entirely because of his existence as an arcanist.
The similarities are obvious. Hell, both share the theme of flora and plants, too. There is an even more subtle dynamic here too, alluding to the game's prominent religious imagery - Vertin's suitcase being compared to an ark that will brave the "Storm", the last supper moment, Arcana's offering, the orange, being a replacement for the apple of Eden...
And then, Forget Me Not association with snakes, rumoured to have a body covered in scales, with an arcanum skill that allows people to indulge in alcohol during the Prohibition Era - the snake that tempted Adam and Eve. Druvis III is associated with forests, trees, as well as a link between Vertin (the good guys) and Manus Vindictae (the bad guys) - the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. The two go hand in hand and are linked together.
The big difference between them is that their respective quests to set things "right" are entirely different - their "revenge" is not the same. Druvis III was hellbent on finding out who set the fire that killed her family, not because she wanted them to face the consequences, but because in doing so, people would finally leave her alone and let her mourn. She could finally move on from something that she knew the truth of. Forget Me Not does it to feel satisfied with himself and get back at everyone who ever looked down on him or wronged him. To inflict as much as pain unto others as he had received before. It's a powerplay fantasy in which he finally wins, against all odds.
It's unclear what truly happened to the Cavendish that caused Forget Me Not to end up in such conditions, to the point where he'd go as far as make sure no one can trace him back to his family, to the point where not even the Foundation has a proper report on him.
But there is one line in particular that lives rent free in my head when it comes to the Cavendish and Forget Me Not's potential relationship with them.
This takes place after Druvis III loses her forest, after she loses her eternal branch because of Vertin's intervention during their dinner. They're talking about how to use her forest to build a refugee camp.
There's the possibility that Forget Me Not is simply alluding to that forest - something that used to belong to her is now something that he should have for the sake of Manus Vindictae's goals.
But! Indulge me for a second! There's a noticeable pause, there's a subtle tone to his voice. Reverse 1999's writing might be confusing at times due to the translation, but it's easy to see that it's loaded with metaphors, hidden meanings and so much more, to the point where reading deeply into everything most characters' say is pretty much the norm.
The dialogue that precedes that specific line is Forget Me Not insisting that he can transfer the ownership of the woods over to Druvis III anytime, because she has always been and will always be the only owner, no matter what. He does this to convince her to go through with Manus' plans, that's his main goal, he doesn't care about the woods. But that single line pictured above? It could mean so much more.
Again, the two share many, many similarities. So when Forget Me Not talks about what Druvis III once had - a prestigious family business, a name people can recognize, an assured future - is what he should have, it evokes a sense of entitlement and lingering resentment. Almost as if Forget Me Not's desire to go back to the past doesn't stem from nostalgia like her, but to reclaim something that was denied to him.
Which is incredibly ironic to me because both of them carried their family in their names - Druvis THE THIRD. Lawrence Cavendish JUNIOR. And yet, the one that worked so hard to obscure his origins and changed his family name was him.
Neither of these characters can be recognized nor traced back to their families by appearance alone - people need a name or a really good memory to truly recognize them. The only one with enough courage to continue carrying such burden is Druvis III. Forget Me Not wants something that he willingy lost the right to the moment he allowed Lawrence Cavendish Jr. to die and fade into obscurity.
The name "Forget Me Not" begins to sound more ironic. Like an order, a threat or the promise of his return - his desire for revenge and his hypocrisy become clear once you begin to dissect his character. Like the narrator in the "To Lawrence Cavendish" document says: "He is patiently waiting... to put his meanness, craziness and quivers under the sun". He's waiting to reveal himself.
The "stage" is shown when he makes people explode from inside out, a lot of people who recognized him as Forget Me Not, the mixologist. This is when we finally see his true intentions and the main difference between him and Druvis III, all in their respective reactions to the journalists.
She's terrified, thinking about the day of her family's funeral. On the other hand, he's ordering them to watch and record as he "takes everything he has been deprived of".
This is why the thing that breaks Forget Me Not is hearing that Druvis III does not care about the man who started the fire, that it's not important anymore. He believed them to be on the same page, that she would love to torture the single person responsible for all of her grief. The guy is projecting heavily onto Druvis III.
In the end, I don't know if Forget Me Not resents his father, his family name, if he had some sort of business to inherit and a "future" that was taken from him, or if they actually might've been a happy family.
What I do know is that Forget Me Not's desire for revenge was absolutely amplified and fueled by Manus Vindictae's own agenda. And that's why he works perfectly as both a victim of their MO and a willing member within their ranks.
He clings so hard to the past because there is no future worth fighting for, because everything would be much better if it was rebuilt from scratch with only those that won't oppose him and repeat history. He clings so hard that his new name and identity are, in the end, a plea for the world not to forget who he used to be and, at worst, an order because he sure as hell hasn't forgotten all the things others have done or said Back when Lawrence Cavendish Jr was around. Once his family outlived their usefulness or relevance within society.
TLDR: THIS is the cold-blooded, numb murderer who is actually very sad, empty and broken deep inside that some people wanted Pavia to be. Like, he's even sopping wet and sad and asking Vertin to kill him next time they meet.
Which leads us to my next point!
On the subject of Forget Me Not's self-destructive and suicidal mindset.
We've talked about Forget Me Not's views and relationship with the Cavendish - but what exactly is the end goal? He feels entitled to a better life, one he was supposed to have, and then what?
The "???" narrator mentions a woman who made a promise to Forget Me Not, as well as leaving a "sarcoma" behind which he then adapted and turned into his own. This woman is implied to be Arcana, as we see her talk to Vertin about being able to see the truth, to not be blinded - there's an emphasis in the way she recruits people by opening their eyes to reality. The sarcoma is the city (apparently "Windy City" is used to refer to Chicago, I had to google that but hey, that's pretty neat!). It's the world he lives in and that wants him gone. She focused Forget Me Not's grief towards it because in doing so, it would help Manus Vindictae's ideals of a world exclusively for pureblooded arcanists.
And even so, he remained suicidal. There was at least one more attempt at taking his own life, and that's when he saw "what had been on his mind". Whatever that might've been, no doubt influenced by Arcana and his situation, is what pushed Forget Me Not to "allow himself to revenge, revenge, re-re-re-revenge, and to die".
Ultimately, Forget Me Not's goal is to die at the end of it all - even after he gets his revenge, earns the life he wanted, takes back everything that was meant for him. This is why, after he's fully defeated, his last words to Vertin are to show no mercy next time they meet. To kill him.
This is not only a long and convoluted plan of revenge, it's Forget Me Not willingly marching into his own demise. And just like before, he's not strong enough to pull the trigger himself. Now that he has no solid argument to justify his anger - all because Druvis III has shown him that people can, in fact, move on - his only option is to have someone else end his life. He's shown tired, and the phrase "Don't save it no more" might indicate that even if there was someone who could repeat what Arcana did to him - give him a sense of purpose and a target for his grief - he simply doesn't have the energy for that.
Forget Me Not's self-destructive tendencies can also be seen in other ways. His job at The Walden is to cater to all the people who shunned him - he welcomes everyone and anyone for the sake of creating a network of secrets, he attends fancy parties and events full of those who call him a drug dealer, Satan's spawn and so much more. And he pretends to be someone else entirely while wishing for others to remember him. He willingly surrounds himself with all the things that hurt him.
His arcanum being related to alcohol is rather poetic to me - since Forget Me Not is said to have spiraled into decadence and into this extreme mindset, it makes sense that his main skill is related to being intoxicated and to drown into something that is largely hated but at the same time, desired and coveted. The Prohibition Era does have a very similar mentality to religion, namely western ideologies - you're meant to openly reject and loathe something, but the constant repression causes you to yearn for it instead. And at some point, this repression can become an addiction in itself, leading some to indulge in it. This loops back to Forget Me Not's association with the snake in the Garden of Eden.
It makes sense to me that he indulges in something so painful, while cohercing others into indulging in forbidden alcohol. That he later uses this very same arcane skill to kill all those people who, in his eyes, represent everything he loathes about the current state of the world. It's like a sarcoma that he now leaves behind, that kills from inside out.
And this is the last time I'll bring up Druvis III in a Forget Me Not post, but notice their choice of flower/plant? She has a mistletoe bouquet - a parasitic and toxic plant which represents positive things such as fertility, life and protection in many different cultures. Forget Me Not has black roses, roses being immediately recognized as one of the most beautiful flowers but, in this context, symbolizing things such as death and rebirth, remembrance, mourning. Their duality, contrast and the "two-faced" aspect is prominent there. And not to get very deep about character design, but Druvis III holds the bouquet very carefully and carries it around with her willingly, whereas the black roses that Forget Me Not wears wrap around his neck not unlike a noose.
To really drive home how Forget Me Not sees himself, here's the description they gave him for his boss fight.
They boil down his character perfectly, to all the little traits that make up his whole emotional baggage.
And to also put more emphasis on how Forget Me Not truly doesn't expect to live and "win" at the end of this whole revenge trip, here's his ultimate - "Heavengazing from Hell". He's fully aware that he's going to be destroyed by his own actions and that the only thing left for him will be to look up at heaven from hell. That all the good things will forever be out of his reach.
Now, onto proper headcanon territory, since I'm running out of media to analyze!
On the subject of Forget Me Not's scales.
As established before, Forget Me Not is associated with snakes - one of the segments from the Big Mouth Bulletin comments on this. "[...] he had scales under those long sleeves, one next to another embedded in his flesh."
And this can actually be seen on his in-game sprite! It's very faint, but there's absolutely some sort of texture peeking out from under his collar and sleeves that resemble scales. They can also be seen on the trailer animations. The only time these scales don't appear or peek out from his clothes are in The Walden illustration, with the other members of Manus Vindictae, but that can easily be explained as him covering up properly and the angle he's drawn in.
Originally I thought that they could be burn scars, as it would mean a stronger connection between him and Druvis III. But upon closer inspection, they don't look like burn scars at all.
I like to headcanon that it's a side-effect from his own arcanum, similar to how Rabies is implied to look like a scarecrow because of his involvement treating rabies. Being something "self-inflicted" - in the sense of him having the choice to stop and heal, but refuses to - also lines up with Forget Me Not's suicidal tendencies, the whole sarcoma metaphor and the fact that by carrying on like this, he's doing nothing but destroy himself and add to his suffering.
As for how far the scales have extended, I don't have a set favorite idea! Part of me really would love it if the scales coiled around his body like actual snakes, but also the idea of him having different patches of scales scattered throughout (again, like a sarcoma) and the third secret option of him being MOSTLY covered in them to the point where it becomes grotesque, something that he can't even look at.
They're not just a tattoo or pattern embedded onto his skin either - they're actual scales, cold and rough to the touch. The areas affected by this have grown numb, making it hard for Forget Me Not to feel any warmth or pressure applied onto them. This adds to that otherworldly and sinister vibe he's got going on, even if the lack of proper tactile sense irritates him. It's extremely uncomfortable if they're brushed or rubbed in the wrong direction, however!
Sometimes, Forget Me Not might pick at the scales, as if deciding whether he loves or hates them. In particularly bad days, he picks them out. I like the idea that, once picked, the scales grow faster and stronger, as well as in broader areas, making it a perpetual loop of picking them off from his skin.
Overall, it would be extremely easy to conceal them - he only needs a shirt with a higher collar and gloves or some make-up, but I like to think that Forget Me Not loves the idea of someone catching a glimpse of them, a reminder that he's dangerous and so much more than meets the eye.
As much as he he's been affected by the stigma against arcanists, he now thrives in their hatred for him and his existence - sneaking into places he knows he's not welcome is addictive, especially knowing everyone tolerates him because he's their only access to alcohol. The way everyone will turn around and talk shit about him once they're out of The Walden is fun, because it reinforces his views on why this current era deserves to be rebuilt from the ground up.
Forget Me Not has extremely poor eyesight.
I know the glasses look thin and pretty standard, but I just like to think that Forget Me Not can't see shit without them.
He has this habit of taking them off to "clean" them whenever he's talking with those he loathes - mostly humans - just so he doesn't have to look at them directly. Sometimes, he might just close his eyes and dissociate, pretending to pay attention if the situation calls for it. Yes, he's petty and hateful enough to feel physically sick when talking to people he hates.
If you pay enough attention, it becomes clear that eye contact becomes scarce, as if just looking at them will send him into a fit of rage (but he conceals it extremely well when needed).
Forget Me Not's poor eyesight is not a secret, and he often likes to make patrons nervous by making their drinks without his glasses - of course, he knows his way around drinks and potions, there's no chance of him messing up, he could do this with his eyes closed. But seeing customers squirm is such a delight. Because now, they must choose between making a scene in HIS territory or risk being poisoned with a poorly-made drink.
I like to think that he also just has a very fine ear, since he does play instruments (all of his attacks being related to music and him using a piano as his wand during the boss fight). So really, Forget Me Not couldn't care less about his eyesight.
Forget Me Not enjoys floral arrangement.
This is just based on his association with the actual forget me not flower. I think he enjoys creating bouquets or putting up vases full of flowers around his home, even if all of them may end up creating a very gloomy and decadent atmospere - they're perfect for funerals, and he simply may be preparing for his own.
And he leaves them out on display long after they've wilted. "They're more beautiful this way", he'd say.
It's not rare to find Forget Me Not on rainy afternoons with a pair of scissors on hand, absentmindedly cutting every leaf and petal off from all these roses, as if he had a personal vendetta against their colorful hues. Sometimes, he just twirls the stem around, pressing hard on the thorns to feel anything while he looks out the window. He's so very fucking dramatic and volatile.
Basically, I like to picture Forget Me Not as the type of person who has dedicated so much time into something as empty as revenge, that he absolutely has no idea what to do outside of that.
Everything he does is just a way to pass the time until he can go back to dedicate every waking second of his life into his and Manus Vindictae's plans, every "little pleasure" is just a façade, he doesn't get any real enjoyment from anything. Sometime he worries that revenge won't help him climb out of this apathetic life he's built for himself, but he can't afford to dwell too much on that possibility. Everything that he does is muscle memory, he's forcing himself to try and do it, because otherwise he could simply sit still in an empty room for hours on end, with the lights turned off, waiting and waiting - all alone with his thoughts.
#reverse 1999#reverse: 1999#r1999#r1999 headcanons#reverse 1999 forget me not#forget me not#playable forget me not WHEN bluepoch i NEED him#i like forget me not when hes like. deranged#when hes one hair away from hurting others or hurting himself because hes. in the most horrible mindset ever#like hes just looking for an excuse to blow up or blow up others (hehehehehe....get it....)#like sure hes so cool with the walden and his network of information and secrets#but hes still a cowardly snake who hides and needs to be revealed. bc he cant reveal himself willingly and openly on his own#its the loss of humanity again but whereas pavia rejects it. FMN just lives within it. he just masks SO well#'but you cant simp for any manus vindictae character! theyre explicitly racists!' and re1999 is a game that CHOSE to replace#actual racial issues in history with their magic ppl vs normal ppl plot line with many many parallels to struggles poc like me lived throug#and then chose to be like 'hey theyre actually physically different and its xenophobia on a whole different species hahaaa bye'#so like. fuckin chew on that first before coming for me. if we're already suspending our belief for the sake of playing:dont cherry pick#tackle the WHOLE thing the game chose to portray. not just a single group within the whole game#sorry if that was heated but lmfao i saw ppl already trying to dictate who ppl can and cannot simp for on twitter#as if this wasnt another fictional anime gacha game at the end of the day
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Random thought, but I kinda want to see Cael break down or snap. Or just fumble with human emotions he has no control over.
Cael is very obviously non-human and extremely apathetic in nature. He is more likely to lament over a wasted piece of canvas over human life. It's what makes him so....unnerving. An eerie persona. Someone who you would never believe to have the capability of crying out in pain, yelling in anger, or let his tears fall.
It's why a part of me is so curious to see what sort of faces he could make. Unfortunately, it's difficult even for the MC to affect his mood. We rarely ever see him express jealousy during his POV Expedition storyline.
Which is also why his rare, small acts of self-desire and love for the MC move me. Like how'd he let her go back to Godheim after imprisoning her because he couldn't bear to see her lose her vitality and glow.
I wish we also got a more in-depth showcase of his feelings during the MC's time at Godheim. She clearly had gone through many painful deaths over and over again and I REALLY would like to know what sort of pain he suffered in that seemingly cold heart of his, or if he suffered at all.
I just really, really want to see any semblance of uncontrollable human emotion. It doesn't even necessarily have to be negative emotions, I'd also like to know if he'd unconsciously make a sincere smile if there comes a day the MC expresses her love for him, or if he'd cry tears of joy and sob like a proud father if he ever got the chance to raise a child of his own.
I'd also like to see a decent confession/realization scene. Cael doesn't quite understand his feelings towards the MC. For him, he has currently identified it as an uncontrollable desire to care for her and left it at that. It'd be genuinely liberating to see him agonize over himself when he realizes that his feelings towards the MC are in fact, pure and genuine love. And that there's no escaping it (I doubt we're getting that though).
I might sound cruel, but I honestly want to see what he's like when he's desperate the most. Would he cry in shock and despair, or would he just silently stay still and rational?
So dear writers, I beg of you to help me fulfill this selfish desire of mine. I'll do it myself if I get the chance though.
If you read to the end of my ramble, congratulations and thank you! I really needed to get this off my chest.
#lovebrush chronicles#for all time#should i get Cael's Eden SSR?#can veterans tell me if its worth it pls?#this man's a menace to my sanity#he's also literally the best part of Lars' route lmfao#rereading his POV really hurt my heart#WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE LONG HAIRED ONES HUH?!?!#😭#cael brainrot#for all time~☆
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would it be laughable to close a tracked tag a couple months after starting it 🤔
#primarily im sensitive and gods specialest princess and it makes me feel BAD to not get tagged LMFAO#listen. i realise it’s lame as fuckkkkk but it’s who i am :) and on the other hand there’s so much in it that i haven’t been able to keep#up in a timely manner so i feel like the people who’ve been tagging me feel like i wont rb the posts#but that’s a minor thing bc i Do get around to them eventually always so idt that’s the case#the first one is my main concern like who’s out here getting their feeling hurt over fuckass tumblr posts well. Guess Who#and like it should be fun for me mostly i think. and it’s been a little saddening at times which euhhhhh.. not the vibe
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:(
#i literally feel VIOLENTLY ill at the fact the hospital handled my mum’s passing so badly that her funeral is exactly ONE MONTH after it#i’ll forever be furious and angry and hurt and traumatised by the way they handled it#like A MONTH#it should not be happening this long after#and it’s her birthday on sunday so maybe i’m just feeling ten times worse because of that#but it’s not fair#it’s never gonna be fair#why the FUCK did she get taken from me like this#and then having to be the only one who knew about her funeral plans bc she only told me#and then everybody including my dad tells me how strong i am#IM NOT STRONG!!?!!?!??!?#i’m a girl who needs her mama. i’m just a girl who is so lost and confused and needs her mama#i literally want 2 die#tw death#i turned my tv off and immediately started crying bc i felt like the worst person in the world#did i not love her enough#should i have been better to get#*her#idk i just want her to know i adored her#and i need to hear her voice and get a hug#one of the last things she said to me was ‘i love you more’ well i love you most so how about that#tw grief#i am never getting over losing her#please . feel free to let me rant i just feel like i can’t talk to my dad or family bc like idk .#i always talked to my mum about my emotions and well! that can’t happen anymore lmfao 😭#i just need a place to vent the HELL out of my feelings bc i am not going back to therapy
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Dabi is surprisingly a lightweight. You honestly would’ve never figured by looking at him, but as you think back on it, you’ve never really seen him drink a lot. Not when there were celebratory parties, or when things didn’t go right for him. It’s why you’re so shocked when you convince two shots into his system, why he suddenly looks so loose, why his grin splits so wide.
He’s a clinger, you’ve also learned as you’ve started observing the blue eyed man where he shoves his face into the crook of your neck. His body bends over almost uncomfortably to fit into the position, and you can’t help but flinch a little when his damp breath blows a quiet little raspberry on your flesh.
omg wait my favorite thought is of you not even necessarily being a heavyweight, you can just handle your liquor a little better than anyone expects. you love to knock back drink after drink, convince Dabi into some stupid competition that he falls for because he’s such a little nerd and secretly wants to impress you. he does it thinking you’ll be the drunk one first, the one hanging off of his arm and hopefully his dick by the end of the night.
it belatedly shocks him when it’s the exact opposite. when he’s slurring a little and smiling at you, when you watch him through low eyes with a wide grin, when he wraps himself around you like a python, when you shake his face gently as you squish his cheeks together in hand. he’s just so utterly obsessed with you in these moments, and maybe it’s the liquor in him, but he knows his lowered inhibitions are only bringing forth the feelings he’s always suppressed.
drunk sex with Dabi where he’s the one too loose limbed and limp and weak. he flops onto bed like some rag doll with his arms and legs spread wide, but he musters up enough strength to release the heavy weight of his cock from its confinements. doesn’t do much besides lift his head from the pillows with a point to his crotch and a lazy grin, an announcement of, go ahead and hop on already before he’s flopping back down again, ready to lay back and get fucked like how he knows he deserves.
#at first I wrote about him getting whisky dick and not even realizing it and being so embarrassed about it the next morning#but it made me laugh too hard and I was like#no one will enjoy that dude shut up AJSHDKDJDJD#but omg lightweight baby that can only cling to you and whine to go back to your room to fuck#only to pass out immediately on the bed lmfao#I love him I’m gonna str*ngle him so bad#anyway I finished all my work for the week and now I feel empty so I will be moving onto next weeks work tomorrow LOL NERD#but everything next week is simple too so why not get it out the way ya know????#after that I might sit down and actually write another fic since it’s been a little minute#everyone voted for therapist obsessed bkg next but I kinda wanna write something emotional for touya now lmfao#I’m becoming so obsessed with him and it HURTS!!!!!#I can only handle one ☝🏻 at a time or else I start getting the shakes#also omg my regular dr is making me go to the heart dr bc she said my anxiety worries her for my physical condition aksjdj embarrassing#okay bye I’m gonna read a little and sleep#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#dabi treats! 🍬#tw: alchohol mention
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Ares: the mighty, terrifying, violent god of war
Also Ares:
#WHY IS HE SUCH A CUTE DOOFUUUUUUUUUS#i actually felt bad for him in the Secret Weapon ep. he was being such a dad to Herc. like he was genuinely nice and encouraging#legit told herc 'nah just kidding!! you're the best!!' when he missed the bow shot. that was so sweet of him🥺🥺🥺#at least before he found out that Herc was a spy and decided to execute him LMFAO but i imagine its partially because his feelies got hurt#betrayal OUGH the sport i liked and trained was actually siding with Athena >:((#he's not a popular god he probs doesnt get many youngsters that admire him and wanna train to be like him 💔💔💔#he's the god of war he obviously doesnt think rationally. but if he gets a sweet spot for someone he cherishes them#also his facial structure keeps changing every 10 frames and it makes me wheeze#HE LOOKS LIKE A SUPER MARIO SUPER SHOW CHARACTER IN THE THIRD ONE DFJFDJKDFJK 'nice of Zeus to invite us to Olympus for dinner gay Athena'#disney hercules#ares
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something lowkey funny about me getting into a minor car crash while reading a hijack fanfic (i’m okay dw 👍🏽)
#my mom was the one driving and amidst me giggling#a car just hits the front passenger seat side where i was sitting like helloooooooo#we were going so slow too..#😭😭😭#no one’s hurt DWW#but the front face of the other person’s car is smasheddddd#jackshiccup text#the fic was deathsong cries update btw LMFAO#thank god my moms car sturdyyyy as hell#heehee time to read force of habit
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Astro + gentle touch
#after the 'astro being manhandled' and 'astro being hurt' gifsets i had to give him a nice one lmfao#took out all the hugs since i already did a set for that!!#also i know i'm always gushing abt the tenma / astro dynamic but for real.... i am So Normal about those last three gifs#the PURPOSEFUL TENDERNESS in the way he touches astro got me so 🥺🥺🥺#he really does love his robot kid so much!!!!#astro boy#astro boy 2009#tetsuwan atom#mighty atom#my gifs#gifset#onward and queueward
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okay but what if the only reason rin and sae are (forced against their will) to be (somewhat) civil with each other in their adult years is because their gfs are ride or die besties that would rather leave their (petty) asses than compromise their friendship
#i’m genuinely losing my shit over this rn LMFAO LIKE. i know their character are more complex than that okay i know it hurts me let me cope#with the rin light novel snippets with self indulgent humor okay let me make myself giggle bc NAUR listen. THE POTENTIAL ZKSJBDBDJX#theyre like ‘baby pls u can have any other best friend in the world it shouldn’t be hard to find a new one right’ and ur on the floor#(i lied this is mostly rin PLLSSS he’s so dramatic i will die)#you threaten to break up with him like semi seriously to knock him off his bullshit and he shits his pants has nightmares about it for weeks#TRIES TO BREAK UP SAE AND UR BESTIE PPLLSSSS then he gets text from sae like ‘two can play that game’ i cant#theyre so down bad horrendously for you both it makes them ill they’ll endure your stupid double dates that threaten to end in violence#at any second sjshsndkd they totally shit talk each other once back home im crying okay ted talk over but yeah comedy GOLD#sae >:(#rin loml <3#—bllk.thoughts!#blue lock x reader#itoshi sae x reader#itoshi rin x reader
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Ha! When i read that pregnant question my first thought was Kiba lol. Like "he'd be so dead set on pregnancy he'd probably would." Then i remembered his sense of smell and face palmed. -🦊
modern au kiba would be like that, yeah, but as soon as he has the scenting ability, he’s the one announcing the big news, not you jdisjsjsjdj
#he’s like ‘babe you have to sit down for this one’#OMG OR IF HE’S ACTING ALL PROTECTIVE AND CAREFUL AROUND U AND U CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHY#cos he’s still wondering how to tell u nfjddijssjjsjs#and even when he fucks you he doesn’t wanna be rough#and you’re doubting yourself like ‘does he not love me anymore’#meawnhile the idiot is just like ‘if the dick goes too dep i might hurt my kid’#even tho said kid is still in egg mode cididjdjdjdjdj#LMFAO I MADE MYSELF LAUGH#biscuit mail#🦊 anon
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#GUYS💀#WHAT THE FUCK#THIS IS SO FUNNY ACTUALLY#this is embarrassing#no one mention it#or I'll hurt your little guys#love me switching Ryans when I got bored lmfao#the quarry#character ai#character ai yearly review#idk#life with character#😍#hate it#anyways#bye
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guess who's finally 50 kilograms babey!!!!!
#severely underweight baby cilly would be so proud of me :))#man it truly wasnt as bad as i thought i didnt even get dizzy lmfao. i had to vacate the chair immediately after they were done and the#lady was like oh here hold my hand lets not have you fainting and i was just like. Struts Gayly#one of my friends said i shouldve done it tomorrow while dressed as an eldritch horror pile of eyes but honestly today was fine LMFAO#ifor context this is happening in comic con#needle was a bit bigger but that way it took less time and it didnt really hurt any more than a regular draw does tbh#to be fair i'm acclimated lol#all needles were bigass needles when i was 5 LMAO#cilly.txt
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