#no matter what it was i think it’s safe to say the overall message was gojo’s love for geto

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Wasnt it already revealed his last words were something along the lines of "you were my bestfriend, my one and only" or did i just make that up lmao

the words still haven’t been confirmed!!! the only hints we have are that 1) they appear somewhere else in volume 0, 2) they had never been spoken between the two before, 3) they were ”embarrassing” from geto’s pov, and 4) when translated to english they form three words. hint 4) debunks the theory you mentioned, so it can’t be that. that would be my second option after ”i love you”, though !! the reason that theory in particular is popular is just because gojo says those words when he’s talking to yuuta in the epilogue :3

but i’m team i love you. it feels way too blatantly fitting to be anything else … (”at least curse me a little at the end” vs ”love is the most twisted curse of all”…. not to mention the fact that ”this is pure love” plays during their final moment together) yuuta says i love you to rika right before the scene between gojo and geto, which seems like an obvious parallel to me too!!!

there was also a big stir back when s2 was airing where some people thought gojo’s last words to geto were ”we’ll meet again, won’t we?” but that was a misunderstanding caused by the op!! the lyrics paired with the jjk 0 light novel basically confirms that those words were the ones that gojo wanted to say to geto, but chose not to because he knew they would have turned into a curse…. though ironically enough they still ended up meeting again. in shibuya. rip gojo you will always be punished by the universe for your most loving acts 🙏🙏

[appleblueberry-pie]

A yandere Gojo below: Sometimes you wonder what this guy has in his head, you don't understand his weird way of wanting to flirt with you and how clumsy he gets when you're around trying to get your attention with really bad jokes (seriously, they're very bad). His presence somehow makes you feel uncomfortable, but you can tolerate it, I mean, you met similar or much worse people, and Satoru belonged to the group. He loves you, he's always told you and shown you, he takes you on dates to expensive places you don't end up going, so you make up a lame excuse when there's only two minutes left until meeting time. He doesn't get angry, but he doesn't understand why you don't love him, and when he saw your eyes light up upon hearing that Nanami had decided to return, maybe that question was finally answered.

You hated distancing yourself from people like him. Satoru was so genuine about his feelings for you and it's something you've always wanted from your dream man. But everything that he does to show it is so...unnerving.

Weird messages where he pushes boundaries and doesn't know when to step back. Gets in your space when you're not comfortable and he can't tell he's being too touchy. Just so bad at reading social cues in general. And is bad at reading your cues. He buys you so much stuff you're endlessly grateful for and takes you on all of these nice dates, but how he talks to you and acts with you is such a big turn off.

So, you distance yourself. You let him make those dates, you let him pick those places, and you decide last minute you don't want to go. And instead of telling him that and have you bother in your safe space at your house....you just leave him to deal with that. You hate being like shit to him, he doesn't deserve it because he really tries for you. But he doesn't know when to stop when you say no, it's so fucking annoying. You really don't like him.

You felt bad switching to Nanami. He has everything Gojo has and has what he doesn't either. Respect for boundaries and all. You sigh.

This was the 5th date you've turned down. No matter. He'll just plan another one with you another time. But it's a little hard to keep your attention on him when you're giving it all to the lousy businessman. Nanami was nothing compared to him.

Fortunately, that makes him easy to get rid of. He's nowhere near as strong as Gojo, isn't fun and flashy, and just overall has the most boring life ever. How could he compare to the strongest?

Gojo doesn't know why you're trying to sneak around with him anyways. There's nothing to be ashamed of, it's not like he feels humiliated or anything. It sounds more like a cry for help by you, if anything, if you're switching to that guy. He's clearly doing something wrong. Is......he too pushy? Do you not like his money? Maybe he needs to lay off with all of the gifts and letting money fly everywhere.

Maybe you like a more responsible man........hm. Maybe you could find that in Nanami, but he'll still kill him for trying to steal you away from him.

It's a little sad that you think hiding your little side piece from the main would stop him from doing what needs to be done. But it doesn't matter. He will be gone before you know it.

[devvelle]

how they act when they miss you, part 2

Genre: fluff, as always <3

Characters: all second years (Floyd, Jade, Azul, Riddle, Ruggie, Jamil, Kalim, and Silver) x gn!reader

Scenario: you're away for a few weeks and they have to find ways to get by until you return.

Notes: I got a very sweet request from an anon to make a part two of this post. reader is kind of implied to be the prefect, and the reason for the absence is up to your imagination!

Floyd Leech ;

My condolences. He's really mad at you.

It does not matter if the reason you left was life or death. You left him and he's taking it personally.

You'd expect Floyd to reach out constantly through phone calls or text messages for attention, but no. He's ignoring you and being very passive aggressive when he is in the mood to reply.

For the most part, you keep in touch with him through Ace, who video calls you to complain after basketball practices and games. Floyd has a tendency to get aggressive when he's upset, and that reflects in his presence on the court. Not even his teammates are safe.

Inevitably, if you're gone long enough, he'll cave and give up the silent treatment. He'll start answering your calls but it's mostly to talk over you and say he won't listen to your apologies until you return to him.

Please return quickly. Ace can't handle losing more braincells from a concussion at the hands of Floyd, and Jamil's patience is wearing thin.

Jade Leech ;

Jade is very composed in your absence. You don't need to worry about him.

He misses you, of course, but he is considerate of your limited time to check in. He'll send good morning messages for you to wake up to but will keep them short to avoid holding you up.

Your leave gives him a golden opportunity, though. He can take this time to negotiate with (scare off) anyone else who thinks they can compete for your affection. Don't worry about the specifics…

In turn, his success ensures that you're only calling and texting him. No one else dares reply to you after Jade is through with them.

Being without you reinforces his dream of a future where you're never apart. You, him, a modest home in the coral sea... you get the picture. He's very sure this is what he wants.

He knows that's not exactly in the cards at the moment considering how unstable things are, but he's hopeful it'll become a reality someday. So he copes for now.

Overall, Jade keeps himself busy so he does just fine. Just don’t ask what he was up to.

Azul Ashengrotto ;

Acts kinda pathetic but hides it so no one will ever know.

The twins definitely know.

Azul will spend lots of time by himself in his office at the lounge. If he closes his eyes and clears his mind, he can picture you walking around, mug in hand, talking to him about your day. Traces of you are scattered everywhere, from your clothes to your scent on the couch cushions, and it helps him feel some semblance of comfort in your absence.

Sweet, right?

But then he sets his phone to airplane mode so he can text you all the sappy ‘I miss you’ messages he wants without risking them going through.

Accidentally falls asleep with his phone open, though, so Floyd adjusts his settings and makes them all send. Thanks Floyd.

Will not acknowledge your teasing replies. He is far too busy dying of embarrassment, much to Floyd and Jade's amusement.

Have fun confronting him in person when he's a blushing, stuttering mess <3

Riddle Rosehearts ;

Missing you really puts Riddle on edge.

Since he still has trouble with voicing his emotions, he won't be open about his worries. If confronted by Trey or Cater about his nerves, he might acknowledge his feelings for the sake of personal growth. But it's unlikely; he's embarrassed.

What he does do is keep a journal. He writes about how his days feel emptier without you and even addresses you directly when admitting his feelings.

It's nice to not worry about being eloquent when all he wants is to talk about you.

After a while, he'll start wishing he'd asked you to stay. He's aware it would have been a childish ask, but you're magicless and defenseless in a lot of situations. What if you ran into something dangerous?

Insists you text him right before bed each night. Otherwise, he won’t be able to sleep.

Quickly worries himself sick, to no one’s surprise. Sick and anxious Riddle now has everyone on edge.

He really needs to see you in person again to feel better. Come back and take care of him.

Ruggie Bucchi ;

Simultaneously gets by just fine and really poorly.

He constantly forgets you're gone but when he realizes again, it weighs on him quite a bit.

He has a bad habit of stealing snacks and at some point he started stealing some for you too. This doesn't stop even in your absence.

What does change, however, is his disappointment when he gets back to his lunch table and realizes you aren't there.

He'll eat most of the snacks himself, grumbling all the while, but will save the treats he knows you really like. They start piling up in his room.

Also, right before you left, he stole back all the clothes he had lent you over the past few months so he could wear them. Gets very defensive when Leona questions why he's only worn the same two sweatshirts for the past week (they smell like you).

The attachment he has to you is strong, but even Ruggie is weak to heartache in your absence. Remind him how important he is with lots of quality time when you're back.

Jamil Viper ;

Biggest sap ever award goes to him.

Jamil may not love befriending new people or showing his softer side, but you're his chosen one. He doesn't mind if it's for you.

Listens to recordings of your voice to keep himself calm when life (Kalim) is testing him. Normally he can pull you aside to talk since you're always happy to listen, but seeing as you aren't available, your voice is the next best thing.

That voice message you sent months ago shyly asking him to spend lunch with you? Yeah, he's replayed it more times than he can count.

When that isn't doing the trick anymore, he'll ask you to record yourself talking about your day. Tease him all you want, but his sanity is at stake here.

He is also not afraid to double or triple text you if you don't have a chance to respond. Will consistently ask if you're eating at meal times and send you pictures of what he's up to as well.

Be warned that when you get back, you're getting an earful from him for leaving him alone. Nothing a hug can’t fix.

Kalim Al-Asim ;

Counting down the days until you return.

Such a sweetheart. Spends all his free moments making plans for when you get back, but nothing as grand as you might fear.

Over the course of your evolving relationship, he's learned that he really enjoys time with only you. So his idea for a welcome home party is just a sweet picnic!

He wants to hear all about what you've been up to in person. So he won't ask you much while you're away, and will wait until he has you in front of him to make up for lost time.

If it turns out that you're too busy to chat or call, he'll make you a really cute playlist instead. Adds songs to it when he misses you, which is basically all the time.

It ends up being a very long playlist. But a banger of course.

When you're back, expect the craziest picnic ever. You will be buried in his affection.

Silver ;

You already live in Silver's dreams, but when you're gone, his longing for you makes them even more realistic than before.

His dreams are of a domestic life at your side, usually in a distant, happy future. But he'll wake up from them reaching out for you only to find that he's alone.

He really wants you to see him as someone worthy of a place at your side. So he'll call every few days to ask how you're doing and provide a distraction from your stressors.

Since his demeanor is always relaxed, the only people to inquire about how he's doing without you are Lilia and Malleus. Even then, he's likely to dismiss their questions so as not to worry them.

What does he do instead? He complains to his animal friends, of course.

Although, it's hardly complaining when he's rambling about how astonishing you are. Eventually, he'll derail to the discomfort he feels being away from you and how he wishes he could be there to protect you.

The animals wish they could show him how lovesick he looks. Hurry back.

a/n : I didn't realize until a few days ago that Silver doesn't have a last name and I was so shocked bc how did I not think abt that before...

I hope u guys enjoy this one! These were fun. Come talk to me in my inbox abt stuff if u want <3333 kisses

[serickswrites]

I'm going out here on tumblr spreading love to my favourite writers, and I'm here to say you're one of my favourites, I love your blog so much and I think you're overall a nice person who deserves all love in the world, even if you stop writing someday. wish you all the best ♡

This is the sweetest message! And has totally made my day! From the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much. I started this little blog thinking that nothing would come of it other than I might put some of my ideas out of my head. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that not only would people read what I put out there, but that they would enjoy it!

Here's a little something for you, anon, for stopping by.

Warnings: physical violence, threat of death, self sacrifice, blood, impalement, unconsciousness

"Civilian, you need to run. Now." Hero's voice was low and urgent. They could see Supervillain approaching. The faster Civilian could get out of there, the better. They would be safe if they could get far, far away from Hero.

"I'm not leaving you! You can't just send me away every time you think there's danger approaching." Civilian pulled Hero to look at them.

Hero gazed into their lover's eyes. They had to get Civilian away. Quickly. "Danger is approaching. And I can't fight off Supervillain and keep you safe."

"Then let's flee together! You can't fight Supervillain! They are too powerful."

Hero knew that. But it didn't matter. Someone had to fight them. Someone had to try and stop them.

Before Hero could reply, Supervillain reached the edge of where Hero and Civilian had been on their date. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the lovers. How precious," Supervillain sneered. "Am I interrupting?"

"Go, now. Please," Hero begged Civilian, their voice barely audible.

"Hero, affiliating yourself with the unpowered riffraff I see. You always did have poor taste. I'm going to enjoy ripping them apart limb from limb while you watch."

"I won't let you do that," Hero said loudly. They had to get Civilian away.

Supervillain chuckled. "You are powerless to stop me."

Before Hero could reply, Supervillain lunged for Civilian. Hero knew they only had moments before Supervillain would use their super speed to grab Civilian and make good on their threats. Hero did the only thing they could think of--they threw themself in front of Civilian, shoving Civilian out of the way.

Hero choked on the blood filling their mouth as Supervillain's weapon burst through their stomach. They could feel the hilt of the blade pressing against their back as Supervillain impaled them. "Pl-Pl-Please," they begged.

"Would you look at that," Supervillain said with a dark smile, "it looks like you're the one I'll be ripping limb from limb while Civilian watches."

Hero's tenuous grip on consciousness was fading. The pain was overwhelming. They could feel their blood flowing down their body, dribbling down their chin. But they couldn't get enough of a breath to say anything. They had to get Civilian away. They could hear Civilian screaming their name. Could barely see Civilian's terror filled face.

But they couldn't say anything. They couldn't move their body around the blade they were impaled on. They could only hope that their death would buy Civilian enough time to run as far away as possible.

Hero screamed as Supervillain twisted the blade in their back. They could see the blood-coated blade--coated with their blood--twisting in the air. "Don't worry, Hero," Supervillain whispered in their ear as Hero's world whited out with pain, "you won't be alone in the after life for long. I'll be sure to dispatch your love shortly after you."

***

Watching Hero be impaled by Supervillain's long, strange weapon was the worst thing Civilian had to do. They hadn't seen Supervillain move. They just knew one moment Hero was in front of them, shoving them away, and the next the blade burst through Hero's stomach, blood pouring from the wound and their mouth.

Why hadn't they listened and just run? Why hadn't they followed Hero's orders and escaped? Hero wouldn't be hurt if they had listened.

Watching Hero struggle to stay conscious as they choked on the blood filling their mouth was awful. Watching Hero beg--beg for Civilian's life--was beyond painful. And watching Hero go suddenly limp as Supervillain twisted the blade in their body was the beyond the worst thing they had ever had to do. It was unimaginable.

"Disgusting," Supervillain sneered as they ripped their strange weapon from Hero's body. Hero's body dropped into a heap. "You didn't even try to fight me. No matter. I can dispatch you to the next world now."

Supervillain raised the weapon once more. Civilian surged forward. "Please! Don't kill them! Please! I'll give you anything you want! Just please," Civilian sobbed as they reached Hero's body," please save them."

Supervillain cocked their head. "You will give me anything?"

Civilian nodded as they knelt next to Hero. They placed themself between Supervillain and Hero. "I know you can save them. I know that your powers are vast. I know you can." This had to work. Supervillain could save Hero. They would give anything for the price of Hero's life.

"I can. Just because I can doesn't mean I will," Supervillain said coldly.

"Please," Civilian begged, "please. I will give you anything. Anything you want. Just name it and its yours! Just please save them."

Supervillain considered a moment before grinning. "Anything I want?"

Civilian nodded vigorously. "Yes, anything. Just please save Hero!"

Supervillain knelt down next to Civilian. Civilian flinched, further covering Hero's body with their own. "I need to touch them to heal them."

Civilian eyed Supervillain warily as Supervillain pressed their hand to the bloody, gaping wound in Hero's stomach. Hero's face contorted with pain, but their eyes didn't open. "Don't hurt them!"

"But that's the fun part."

Civilian opened their mouth to protest, but stopped as they watched the blood that poured from the wound begin to slow and then stop. They watched in awe as the skin slowly reknit itself until the wound was closed.

"Th-Thank you," Civilian stammered. Hero would live. Hero would live. HERO WOULD LIVE!

Supervillain nodded. They quickly lifted Hero into their arms, throwing Hero's limp body over their shoulders. "What are you doing?" Civilian rose quickly, too. Though they had no hope of beating Supervillain, they would fight for Hero.

"Taking that which was promised me." Supervillain turned to walk away.

"I never said you can have Hero! Let them go!"

Supervillain stopped and turned suddenly. Hero's limbs jostled with the movement as they hung limply over Supervillain's broad shoulders. "But you did. You said you would give me anything. Anything and you wouldn't stop me. I could have anything I wanted. I want Hero."

"No! You can't!"

Supervillain dropped Hero onto the floor once more. Their weapon was in hand and pointed at Hero's heart before Civilian could say anything. "Then I will end this now."

Civilian's heart stopped. "No! Please, don't kill them!"

"Then let me take my prize."

Civilian swallowed. "What will you do with them?"

"Anything I want." Supervillain surveyed Civilian coolly. "But I won't kill them if that's what you are worried about."

Civilian breathed a sigh of relief. If Hero was alive they could find a way to save Hero.

Supervillain gathered Hero's limp body up once more. "I don't need to. There are far worse things than death," Supervillain said with a dark chuckle and disappeared with Hero before Civilian could offer up any more protests.

What had they done?

[astridthevalkyrie]

so idk how mha is gonna end but obviously the moral of the story we’re going for here is that everyone deserves to be saved and heroism is about saving people no matter what. that’s great! i’m guessing some or all of the league is going to survive and be put into some kind of rehabilitation center (toga and spinner seem the most likely to me for now but who knows). and i’m fine with that i like the overall message of it.

but how are they going to deal with the fallout from the league’s victims? i get the feeling that they’re not, or it’ll be a one-off like “some ppl were upset we didn’t jail or kill the villains but the heroes calmed them down” or something like that. i mean. whoever in the LOV it is would have to show remorse eventually, for one thing, for them to be any different than the corrupt hero system. but even then, all the families of whoever machia trampled on during the war arc, are they just gonna be cool with this? mind you I don’t think that anyone in the LOV should be killed or jailed rather than rehabilitated, but i wonder if the show is going to bring up that anyone who dabi or toga killed won’t get a second chance. they won’t get rehabilitated, they’re just gone. how are their families and friends going to deal with what society deems as an appropriate punishment for them?

i think this message also could’ve been conveyed better if we had more prominent “corrupt” heroes aside from endeavor and hawks. the top ten minus them and the irrelevant guy who retired after the war arc are all portrayed narratively as good people. iida’s brother is attacked by stain for no real reason at all aside from not being all might. all might’s heroism ends up being bad for society overall yeah, but so much of that is because of who toshinori is as a person rather than hero society (which does play a part but if toshinori just hadn’t pushed himself to be the best and number one savior for everyone there wasn’t necessarily any society forcing him to until after he’d already showed them he could do it).

PLUS the existence of afo offsets this message. everyone can be saved…..besides the real super evil people?? if, and I’m not saying they do, shigaraki and afo had the same kill count, is the lack of a sad childhood the only thing that makes afo beyond redemption? i mean he might not be gone gone if he’s still inside shigaraki’s mind or whatever, but that doesn’t change the fact that the heroes were trying to kill him too. narratively, why was all might in the right for killing him all those years ago when hawks was in the wrong for killing twice? because twice was kinder? because twice was neurodivergent??

mha also a little bit contradicts itself because. hero society is exposed post war arc. civilians have every right to be mad that their current number one is an abuser and that the heroes failed and couldn’t protect them. but theeeen, we have ochako’s speech in which she yells at scared civilians that “the heroes are the ones who are getting dirty!” which is like. yeah. they are. but during and post the war arc civilians also very much died. i feel for izuku but at first glance if someone promised you a safe haven from being attacked and then said oh never mind we’re actually going to bring the one guy shigaraki can absolutely track and hunt down here because he’s tired of fighting, getting upset with that is not totally unreasonable.

and I get that civilians are supposed to get mad at heroes for being corrupt, but not for failing, because heroes should never have been put up on such a high pedestal. they should be seen as humans who are as fallible as everyone else. that doesn’t change the fact the average innocent person would be rightfully scared, because it’s not just the heroes who are getting dirty. people are getting attacked. the heroes are not saving everyone. they shouldn’t have to and there’s no way they realistically can, but picking and choosing which aspects of hero society people are allowed to criticize feels…meh. if there’s gonna be fallout, fallout that endeavor and hawks if not the rest deserve, there should be proper fallout.

i don’t think the UA kids should be treated as full-fledged heroes because they’re not, but their age should not be the one thing that makes them better than the current heroes. they’re liable to the same mistakes and the same fallings. or they would be had they not all been portrayed from the beginning as one big happy hopeful crowd who just wanna save the day! there was opportunity to show who was in it for the right and wrong reasons and somehow ochako who has been so poorly written for several seasons actually had the most relevant arc (besides bakugo) about being in the hero business for the right reasons. ochako should have interned with hawks ochako should have interned with hawks ochako should have interned with there should’ve been more students in it for the glory, for the money, for the fame, but even monoma from class b and mineta are apparently true heroes! is being a high schooler all it takes??

anyway this is all jumbled and a mess but mha should’ve made hero society far more corrupt to justify its dismantling is my point. right now we’re getting a vibe of “the heroes are just as bad as the villains if they don’t save them too” and that’s just like. objectively not true. if hawks was supposed to be an assassin for hire for the hero commission, we should’ve seen him kill people aside from the guy who could’ve turned the tides of the war, at the very least actually kill best jeanist to finish his mission. if toga wanted to preach about how the heroes are just as bad because they killed jin, it falls flat when she’s on machia’s back stomping on people and then killing an old lady to talk to ochako. the heroes should try to save everyone including the villains because that’s what heroism is, but they are not equally as bad as the villains for trying to stop the villains.

the hero commission in general is just like afo, a vague villain we can blame so that we don’t have to blame the underlings. if people discriminate against animal quirks we should’ve seen it way earlier with shoji and tsu and tokoyami, maybe really expanded on it once mirko and hawks and even the dog cop were introduced. if sooo many heroes were in this for the wrong reasons, where are they? the current “failings” of the hero system are all might, endeavor, hawks, lady nagant and bakugo. everyone else is fine! there was a chance to show that someone like mount lady isn’t a real hero because she only cares about fame. there was a chance to show that aizawa is a good hero compared to others because he doesn’t try and seek glory. but these points are only halfway done and then kinda left there.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling a friend everything would be fine after her dog passed away?

Disclaimer, this breakup was years ago, but I sometimes wonder if I did an asshole move or something, or what of what I said was wrong. Also, sorry for any grammar errors, not an EFL.

So, I (20NB at that time) had this friend I'll call S (20F also at that time) at uni. We were pretty close, and had other friend too, we were a triad, did many things together. COVID hit up and couldn't gather anymore, but we used whatsapp to communicate for everything aside of uni matters.

One day, she messages me and the other friend on the chatgroup really distressed. Her dog passed away. We told here we were so sorry, sending her virtual hugs and encourangemt. I'm kind of assuming that my message felt to her like I was dismissing her feelings but I wasn't, that wasn't my intention. I don't exactly remember what prompted me to write the response, overall she was just sad and felt hopeless and almost having an attack, so I said, textually: "everything's gonna be okay, S, I know it hurts know and it'll hurt tomorrow, but don't let this drown you".

And then she... snapped? Responded inmediatly before I could send another message reiterating we (me and the other friend) would be with her through this, with a "what if your cat pass away? How would you feel?".

Firstly, for more context, she knew I lost my cat once when moving to another house, a window was left open by accident and my cat got out. She returned safely. I cried day and night, thinking I lost her. My ex-friend knew this because she saw me. Secondly, feeling like that was a derail of the conversation, I said: "this isn't about me, is about you".

She left the chatgroup after that and blocked me. My other friend didn't say anything. We talked normally for a couple of days but then she full stopped and acts like she doesn't know me at all. Another male friend also stopped talking to me around the same time.

Funnily enough, S and I went, months prior to COVID, to eat and talked about friendships and were on the same page about friendships being a mutual growing thing, and signaling the wrongs of the other if that was necessary. I thought S would eventuallt communicate to me what I did wrong, or what of what I said was hurtful to her, so I could apologize without hesitation. She didn't. She just stopped all contact after that. I realize that "everything's gonna be okay" is not what all people want or need to hear, but I also didn't know or knew what S needed to hear. I assumed that my message was accurate to the situation because she said to me the same thing about my cat, and I was thankful to her for showing support to me at that time. I thought I did the same to her, even we where unable to be face-to-face.

So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[bapydemonprincess]

I’m 24 and I’ve been in this fandom since like 2010 . So not the entire time it’s been around but I was here for its main surge I feel like. And I won’t lie, when I was 10 and a majority of the fandom did ship sebaciel publicly and people made you feel weird for not shipping it, I definitely did engage with it. It was pushed on me as a 10 year old by a majority of the fandom, and I didn’t see anything wrong because I was younger than ciel/same age and I was like “yeah I think Sebastian is cute and I’m the same age as ciel so—“ BUT you know as I got older I’d say even by 14 I had the realization of how gross it was and how I didn’t actually ship it it was just that they were the two main characters in the fandom and that typically main characters are the ones who get shipped and that at that time in the fandom it was impossible to not be faced with ship stuff. And I was groomed by adults in the fandom on this very website. They knew my age and would send me smut and talk to me about myself and flirt and I honestly feel bad that I ever did engage with the ship. I didn’t know any better. But now as an adult when I do see sebaciel stuff I find myself questioning if they’re just young and if they’re going to grow out of it too and I wonder if maybe they’re also having it pushed on them by older fans like I was. I find it concerning because i know what it did to myself and what kind of situations I was put in because of it. I try to avoid the adult ones because unfortunately I think if they haven’t grown out of it and realized the implications of the ship and how it does affect real life I don’t know that they ever will. I hate that this fandom has such a bad label on it. Every person I mention it to is like— “oh the pedophile demon anime?” And it just sickens me. Idk this is kind of just a rant and I wanted to offer my thoughts as someone who has been in the fandom a long time and as someone who was in the fandom as a child even. I’m sorry if this is weird ask to send but I see you posting content about it sometimes and it made me feel safe to share my thoughts

Well I am not personally good at answering these types of asks but I am glad you felt safe to send this to me, specifically, and get it off your chest, it's all good!! 💖 And glad to know you came to realize how bad the ship was at one point, I'm always happy to see that happen once in a while in kuro, because there are so many folks around my age refusing to accept the truth and doubling down on proshipping, and also I notice very recently too trying to cause problems on purpose for antis in their spaces. 😒 It's getting hard out there since the new anime came out, and a lot of those types have attempted to return.. likely from twitter where they ran off to last time they were booted (some quite literally banned hmm I wonder why) from tumblr.

And the worst WORST part knowing proshippers around my age is knowing.. remembering.. the very beginnings of kuro, seeing the early fics on ao3 by those guys, who really started it all, knowing somewhere they're still out there.. some even maybe with kids of their own WHO KNOWS... Ugh.

And I hope new fans, no matter their age really, make sure to be careful esp on here in the main kuro tag, for these proshippers have been constantly- AND VERY BLATANTLY I MIGHT ADD -trying to advertise their blogs and discords as safe spaces for interacting... CLEARLY trying to start/continue the process of grooming that is so well known in fandoms like kuro at this point.

Overall just use block on tumblr recreationally, it's free real estate ✨, stay safe in general, and again don't be afraid whether on fellow anti blogs like mine send messages or if you feel more comfortable make posts of your own on your own blog expressing how you feel, getting it out of your system.

Hope my response was okay (I say because I'm at work at also health-wise a bit out of it so sorry grbhjfkugu) and hope you, anon are currently doing okay now!! Thank you again for sharing your personal experience!!

[lollytea]

Okay I wanna write down a few thoughts on that part of the climax in Thanks to Them that has garnered some mixed opinions. Specifically Hunter’s possession and the subsequent death of Flapjack. 

I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m defending this scene, as people are perfectly within their rights to be uncomfortable with it and criticize everything from its execution to its inclusion at all. Whether this whole thing was objectively a terrible writing decision for Hunter’s character, his arc, and the overall message it sends is....a discussion starter to say the least. Rather, what I wanna do is maybe try and dissect the reasons why these scenes might exist in the first place. From a writing perspective. 

I’ve been thinking about it a lot, trying to figure out just what angle the crew was going for and I think I might have some vague idea. And I’ll admit, I think there’s something poignant in here somewhere. Maybe they fumbled the bag a bit and didn’t consider just how troubling some of these implications could be. Writing gets clunky sometimes. But that’s up to every individual viewer to draw their own conclusions. But personally, I don’t believe that these scenes were intended to be gratuitous. I don’t believe that they were added solely because the crew are sadists who enjoy wringing Hunter dry like an angsty dish cloth. As flawed as they may be, I think I can understand why they were written. Possibly. 

So, I’m gonna try to give an objective look at the themes, storytelling and symbolism at play here and how all of that relates to Hunter’s overall character and the big climax of his story.

We’ll start with the very understandable hurt viewers felt when Hunter’s road to recovery was abruptly relapsed by Belos. The thing many people are vocalizing their feelings about is how the episode made sure to demonstrate just how happy Hunter was. That’s what devastated them the most. Hunter was in the process of healing, which hits close to home for many, making what Belos did to him all the more disturbing on a personal level. 

However, every single one of us knew that Belos was alive before we watched the episode. Hunter did not. Hunter believed that Belos was dead and this was the only reason that he felt safe enough to make such progress in his recovery. So now matter what way you twist it, we all knew Hunter was set up to relapse the moment he realized Belos was in the Human Realm. 

So what was the point of showing this sixteen year old abuse victim experiencing safety, warmth, happiness, confidence and self exploration just to cruelly rip it all away from him? 

Put simply, to establish just how much Hunter now has to live for. Just how much Hunter has to fight for. His motivations for living and for fighting are sprinkled all throughout the episode. This boy has such a hopeful future laid out before him and he knows it. So when he finally gets his moment to tell Belos exactly what he wants for himself, you understand exactly where this passion and determination is coming from. It means something. 

And then there’s the possession itself, which everything comes down to. We saw the leaks, we hated them, some of us talked ourselves into believing they were fake but we all kinda knew deep down. It was a very fun very terrible week. ANYWAY. 

I think that Hunter’s arc would have felt incomplete if he didn’t get a final confrontation with Belos. That’s the popular opinion. However, many are also in the opinion that Hunter getting possessed was very unnecessary and violating and it should not have been done in the first place. And I’m not gonna argue with this view. It’s legit. But again, here’s what I believe the crew might have been going for with this.

The possession of Hunter’s body is a symbolic manifestation of everything Belos has always represented in his life. It’s a final culmination of all sixteen years under that man’s thumb and all the damage he’s done to Hunter’s body and psyche. 

Ever since Separate Tides, Hunter has been Belos’ puppet. And honestly, though the specifics of the arrangement have shifted, this was still the case throughout Thanks To Them. Between Separate Tides and Hollow Mind, it’s pretty simple. Perfectly obedient Golden Guard who does everything his uncle tells him to do, without much say in the trajectory of his own life. 

However, after Hollow Mind, Hunter was no longer that. But that didn’t mean the puppetry stopped entirely. He was a nervous wreck for the rest of the season. The mention of the Emperor’s name paralyzed him with fear. It didn’t matter if it wasn’t done directly. Belos still had an alarming amount of control over Hunter. 

So long as he was alive, Hunter knew he wasn’t safe. And once Hunter starts to realize that he’s still out there, it becomes obvious that he will never fully recover until he’s certain Belos is dead. 

Everything about the possession is an encapsulation of what Belos’ years of abuse and manipulation have been like to Hunter. How powerless he’s always felt. But this time, it isn’t done through words or threats of violence. It’s worse than that. It’s physically invasive. It’s desecration. It’s having his very self taken away from him and nothing is more sacred than a person’s autonomy. The weight of what’s happening to him is palpable. 

This is the worst thing Belos has ever done to him. 

But what does Hunter, the boy who spent his entire life petrified of this man, do about it? 

He finds it in himself to rebel against it.

Because, though Belos’ abuse and the negative effects of his upbringing have always been such a crucial aspect of Hunter’s sense of personhood, it’s not all that defines him. 

A long time ago Hunter was given orders from the Emperor to slay a selkidomus. Instead he passed the job off to somebody else because he didn’t want to do it. 

Hunter self-sabotaged his own mission and allowed Luz to escape with the palismen he was ordered to recover. 

Hunter studied wild magic against his uncle’s wishes. 

Hunter went to Eclipse Lake even when he was told not to. 

Hunter had a secret palismen named Flapjack. 

Hunter assigned himself to the Hexside mission without getting Belos’ approval. 

Hunter owned a secret scroll. 

Hunter refused to roll over and die in the mindscape even when Belos decided that he was no longer useful. 

Hunter has a rebellious heart. Had one from the very beginning. He was definitely in denial about it back then (Happily declaring just how much he loves “Authority! And rules!”) but it was there, clear as day.

But this is the moment where Hunter embraces that rebellious heart. And in doing so, he finds the willpower to regain control of his body. To Hunter, this moment is a reflection of everything he’s always wanted to do. To break free of Belos’ power. To speak his mind. To choose his own future. To choose himself. 

And all that genuine joy we saw him experiencing earlier in the episode is what strengthens his resolve to grit out his final words to Belos.

Hunter releases years of pent up frustration that he was too brainwashed to ever let himself think about. 

Hunter openly expresses desire after desire, fully aware that every single one of them will boil Belos’ blood. 

Hunter outrights demands that he be allowed happiness. 

He’s proving, not only to Belos, but to himself that you can hurt him, you can scare him, you can manipulate him, you can even possess him, but you will never own him. Nobody will ever own him. 

So, yes, absolutely. There are valid criticisms to be had of the concept of Hunter being possessed. And it’s likely the writers didn’t really think a lot of the ramifications through. 

But I believe the idea it’s trying to portray was how the intensity of that moment and how violating it was to Hunter further emphasized just how powerful Hunter’s final act of defiance was. It wasn’t just one last fight between the two of them, it was a visceral way of having Hunter confront everything Belos has ever put him through, allow his resentment to bubble over and finally understand that he has the right to reject who he was “supposed” to be, whether Belos likes it or not. 

One thing that came from the possession scene that I believe is genuinely a good and healthy thing is that Hunter’s perspective of Belos has changed for the better.

This was the worst thing Belos could have possibly done to him. And Hunter did not only survive it but he was capable of resisting it. Something he’s never been able to do before. He has officially endured the worst Belos can inflict on him. So, with that in mind, Hunter has no reason left to be afraid of this man anymore. With this, all remaining control Belos had over him has been shattered. 

I have to acknowledge that, though this experience was truly godawful, it did provide Hunter with the closure he needed. It was necessary to how he proceeds forward. With all that fear out of the picture, Hunter’s current feelings towards Belos consist of righteous fury and contempt. Which is cathartic to say the least, as Hunter’s hate can finally be directed at the person who hurt him, rather than himself. In the case of a victim struggling with their trauma, allowing themselves to be angry at their abuser can be a very therapeutic thing. 

This is huge for Hunter. While many have expressed the opinion that the after effects of this moment will be detrimental to Hunter’s overall arc, I honestly think it’s a massive step in the journey to recovery. It’s not the nice peaceful part he experienced while in Camila’s house but not everything about an abuse victim’s healing process is pleasant. Sometimes it’s ugly. But progress is progress. 

And then there’s the matter of Flapjack’s sacrifice which is a doozy of a subject. 

Anyone who follows me is aware that I was very vocal in my belief that Flapjack would survive, because surely they wouldn’t take something so precious to Hunter away from him. Surely. 

(Well I’m Stan and I was wrong, I’m singing the Stan Wrong Song, okay fuck you.)

But once that episode was over and the credits were rolling, I started to think about Flapjack as far back as his introduction in Hunting Palismen. And honestly, I feel like his death was planned from the start. The kind of friend who comes into your life, changes you for the better before inevitably having to say goodbye. But even if it’s temporary, that doesn’t make their presence in your life any less impactful. 

While Flapjack had plenty of personality, he wasn’t so much a character with his own arc, as he was a tool in progressing Hunter’s. His role in the story was to guide a lost and lonely boy into the light and show him that he’s worthy of being loved. 

And with Flapjack’s influence, Hunter let himself meet people who don’t make him feel worthless. He has never felt more loved in his life. 

Flapjack officially imprinted on Hunter when the boy expressed a longing to figure out his own future. Flapjack decided that he would try to lead him in the right direction. 

And in his final moments, Flapjack watched the boy he had been guiding adamantly proclaim everything he wanted his future to be. It was safe to assume he had figured it out. 

Flapjack’s existence in Hunter’s life also represents the link to Caleb along with Hunter’s complicated “relationship” with this ghost of a man that he’ll never know. Caleb is not Hunter and Hunter will never be Caleb. However, they’ll always be connected by the strings of terrible, terrible destiny that Belos tied together. And though Hunter didn’t know it, Caleb lingered in his life in the form of the bird he left behind.

And in all that time where Hunter figuring out his own identity, Caleb’s bird was helping him along. It was when Hunter was finally certain exactly who he was (Not a witch hunting accomplice of Belos) that Caleb’s bird was ready to move on.

With all these ends tied up, Hunter did not need Flapjack anymore. 

But Flapjack still had one more job left to do. And that was to make sure Hunter got to stay with the people who loved him and Hunter got his chance to experience the future he had decided for himself. Figuring it out is useless if it’s all a hopeless fantasy. Flapjack wanted it to be a reality. 

It must have been a relief to the little bird’s heart that his witch had grown so much and he could leave knowing Hunter would be okay without him.

(There’s also the interpretation that Flapjack is an analogy for a service animal/disability aid. But that line about learning to carve could not set it up the future any clearer. Hunter will not be without a palisman forever.

Obviously, it might take him some time before he’s ready to begin again. But he will make a new palismen. As a boy who’s spent his entire arc learning how to let new loved ones into his life, it would make absolutely no sense whatsoever if he didn’t.)

Anyway, my biggest fear when I saw the leaks which showed Flapjack sacrificing himself for Hunter’s sake, was how much something like that could completely destroy all of Hunter’s healing progress. Because why wouldn’t it? He not only lost his best friend but Flapjack died to keep him alive. How could he possibly live with himself after something like that? 

I think this is one of the main talking points over why people are upset about Flapjack’s death. How it’s going to effect Hunter. I’ve seen the belief that this devastating loss was detrimental to his recovery journey and it’s rendered all of the lighthearted scenes of enthusiasm and confidence from earlier in the special obsolete. But I honestly feel like it’s the exact opposite. 

Hunter’s reaction to Flapjack’s death was different than I imagined it would be. And not in an objectively bad way. It’s quite telling of how far he’s come. Compare it to Hollow Mind where Hunter also experiences a traumatic loss which results in him having a complete meltdown. He cries, he hyperventilates, he runs blindly into the woods. It was borderline apocalyptic. And it’s completely understandable. At this point in life, Hunter lost what he believed to be his entire world. 

After Flapjack’s sacrifice, the first thing Hunter did when he regained consciousness was smile, softly greet his remaining loved ones and ask if they were alright. It’s revealed seconds later that he already knew Flapjack was gone. But he still had it in him to smile. Because even in the devastating aftermath of losing the creature who changed his life and introduced him to real happiness, he’s relieved to know his friends and family are safe. He knows he’s not alone. 

Flapjack was deeply important to Hunter. It’s impossible to even articulate just how much he adored that little bird. When he lost his former life, Flapjack was all he had.

However, by this point, Hunter’s life is flourishing with hobbies and interests and ambitions and friends and family and love. Flapjack was no longer everything Hunter had. And being surrounded by so many people who cared about him in his moment of grief is a powerful thing. 

Hunter is quiet about Flapjack’s death. He’s weak, he’s exhausted, he’s utterly gutted. But there’s nothing that implies he blames himself. Judging by how he was aware of the sacrifice despite just waking up, I believe they did get one last goodbye via their mental link. 

And I think this is why Hunter seems so accepting of what had just happened. Whatever Flapjack said to him, he had successfully made Hunter understand that this was just how it had to be and that it was not his fault. And with all the love and optimism Flapjack has instilled in him since they met, Hunter decided that what he needs to do now is try and lead the most fulfilling life he possibly can. He has to. This life had been a gift from Flapjack after all.

But as mentioned way up above, Hunter can never have the life he wants until Belos is permanently out of the picture. I think this is where his new lease of life comes from in the final moments of the special. 

Hunter has changed significantly throughout this episode. While in his opening scene, he was completely clueless on how to comfort Luz properly because he equates the guilt she feels to his own and that link between their similar feelings sabotages any attempt at clarity on his part. His words of comfort were basically “If it helps, they’ll hate me more.” 

But before he steps through the portal, Hunter has a new perspective on the self-loathing that has been corrupting both himself and the girl he now calls family. It was never them. It was Belos. It was always Belos. Hunter is able to tell Luz that it was never her fault because he finally understands that it was never his fault. And he’s telling her all of this because she’s important to him and she always will be. 

Hunter still has Luz.

He then expresses his new motivation. To fight back. To regain control of his life. To get some justice for all the damage his abuser has done to him and so many others. To protect the world that he cares about. 

Hunter still has Willow and Gus and Amity. 

Hunter still has Camila and Vee. 

Losing Flapjack did not kill Hunter’s fire. It did not render all of his prior growth in the Human Realm null and void. Hunter has experienced a loss and his grief is palpable but he still has so much left.

In fact, I think if Hunter hadn’t had these experiences, hadn’t built these relationships, hadn’t realized just how much life has to offer to him, he wouldn’t be taking such a defiant stance. He wouldn’t be the first one to march into the portal, taking Flapjack home, determined to end Belos once and for all. And he’s standing on a strong foundation of mourning, experience, wisdom, love and support. 

I keep thinking about that very infamous line by Dana that was misinterpreted to Hell and back. 

“Dana doesn’t like happy endings.” 

That line never bothered me much, even when I didn’t know what the exact context actually was (Dana doesn’t like happily ever after.) Like, I watched the Owl House, I know the kind of stories Dana liked to tell. So, the way I always interpreted that opinion was the simple message that we can never have it all. 

Life is tumultuous. There are ups. There are downs. There are gains. There are losses. And I feel like that’s an accurate summary of Hunter’s development throughout the special. 

Hunter had been mistreated. He now has far more scars than he started out with. He lost Flapjack. These are all devastating blows to him physically and emotionally. 

But please, don’t allow the suffering Hunter went through distract from all of his positive growth in this episode. Hunter spent months making happy memories. He strengthened his bonds with his friends. He now has somebody who genuinely loves him that he can call family. He’s discovered all these brand new hobbies and interests. 

He likes who he is now.

That hasn’t changed. I promise you that it hasn’t changed. 

And most importantly of all, Hunter is no longer ruled by fear of the man who hurt him. He is no longer under Belos’ control. 

Hunter is grieving right now but he is not in ruins. 

This is not rock bottom for him. 

I feel that Hunter’s gains and losses were pretty evenly distributed throughout the episode. However, because of the attachment people have towards him, as a teenage abuse victim who’s steadily recovering, it’s easy to only see his losses. Because it hurts to see, it really does. 

But I promise you all of those happy Hunter memories meant something too. Those are what’s him pushing forward right now. 

Anyway, those are my two cents on that whole thing. Again, I don’t think these scenes are immune to criticism. However, I did want to take a moment to examine them a bit because I truly believe that there was a team of passionate writers attempting to create something profound with this.

I like to write myself and I understand that a lot of the time I miss the mark and don’t always execute the point I’m trying to make. So, at the very least, even if things aren’t handled perfectly, I’d like to try and dissect the message that they were attempting to send. 

It’s absolutely fine if you don’t agree with a word of this. I understand that these scenes have hurt quite a lot of people. But thank you for reading. I appreciate it. 💕

[onlinekitsune]

would you still love me if i was a worm? (demon brothers)

it’s been a long minute since I’ve posted but i have had a little bit of an writer’s block/stuck with thinking about only my oc’s but hi i’m alive!! first post of 2023 being this is well… something but i hope you enjoy!! thank you for my silly and stupid brainworms (haha do you get it)

MC: hey… would you still love me if I was a worm??

LUCIFER: overall just confused, confused why you would ask this, confused why now at the middle of the night, lovingly annoyed about your antics, takes a couple of minutes to reply because he just is stunned, responds with a simple yes before lecturing you about getting enough rest

MAMMON: to no surprise to anyone he answers yes immediately, he’d love you no matter what, this demon is absolutely infatuated with you, you quite literally have him wrapped around your finger, he’d return the question asking if YOU would love him if he was a warm, you jokingly say no which causes him to burst into your room to make you change your answer

LEVIATHAN: being an antisocial otaku has it’s advantages towards this, he’d obviously seen this trend before, but still thought it was cute of you to ask, he’d say yes btw, and talk about how he’d make you the best terrarium ever, he’d also make a joke saying you two were in an anime with those obnoxious titles, ex: That One Time My Human Girlfriend got turned Into a Worm!

SATAN: also gets confused at your message, but then gets immediately anxious, he’d be afraid that you accidentally got one of his cursed books, would leave you on read so he’d rush into your room, is surprised to see you on the bed typing on your phone, you’d then explain to him the joke, before teasing him for thinking you were actually a worm, though it’s cute how worried he was

ASMODEUS: if you texted at a normal time he’d answer, if it was late at night only silence, he needs his beauty sleep!!, but he’d also say yes, would promise to make sure you were the most gorgeous worm in all of the devildom, even making a skincare routine that would be safe for a worm, so your self care dates could continue without an issue, he’d normally not like worms but it’s you so.. it’s different

BEELZEBUB: he’d just reply with “mm..spaghetti”, you immediately ask if he’d eat you, only to be met with other messages of similar types of pasta, you ask again, then to be asked if you would look like a gummy worm, you don’t know, he said he’d maybe not eat you if you were just a regular worm, and if you told him that you were a worm, the both of you completely forgot about the whole purpose of the message, you stunned with his answer, and beel drooling thinking of every type of pasta ever

BELPHEGOR: would answer either right away or after hours, is also the only one to say no, nothing against you but you are a worm, argues that he couldn’t love a worm and you couldn’t love him as a worm, goes in length to prove his point so you know that he still loves you very much, also adds that he’d make you a lovely home in the planetarium if you became a worm, so that at least he’d always be around your side

[nothorses]

How do you deal with non-discipline in the context of bullying, especially where the person/child bullying has demonstrated repeated returns to the behavior despite previous redirection and education?

(I ask because I agree with your approach in the previous post and I'm currently trying to manage a pretty complicated bullying situation, but the only solution I've been able to come up with is "revoke access.")

Unfortunately, I think "literally will not stop bullying" tends to be a symptom of a much, much deeper and more complicated problem; but you're right about the first step, imo.

It's very fair to say, "your behavior is not safe for the people you are exposing to it, therefore for safety reasons, we need to revoke your access to them until we know it's safe again". Kids will see that; they generally understand that you're you're not punishing them, you're not endangering their safety for the sake of preserving someone else's- you're just enacting natural consequences around very fundamental boundaries. (And imo, it is absolutely vital to avoid sacrificing the safety and wellbeing of other kids in these situations. Your job is to hold that line as much as it is to help the kid lashing out.)

The tricky part is the follow-up: once the safety issue is dealt with, what do you do with the kid who's sitting apart?

imo, the first step is just to ask questions and try to understand, non-judgmentally, where they're coming from. It doesn't matter how much you actually empathize with this- they just need to know that you're listening to them, and that you care what they have to say.

What they say will tell you a lot about next steps- that's also where it tends to get the most complicated.

Oftentimes their behavior is the result of trauma or abuse, or mental health issues. Often it's because the way others discipline them teaches them to act that way toward their peers. Frequently, it's also the result of just... not having the tools to deal with their emotions in a better way. It might make them self-centered, entitled, and cruel; but the point of this is that you're trying to identify the root of that issue, and try to take the first steps toward righting that wrong. Even if you want to dislike the kid over it, your whole goal here is to choose to care and fight for them anyway.

You won't know what to do after that until you get to know the kid & what's really going on with them. And there's a good chance that'll be hard, too- and a good chance they won't want to trust you or open up to you initially. I've been met with a lot of "here's why the person I'm bullying deserves it", and I'm sure you're familiar with the way some kids just embrace the messages they've been given by others about who they are, and throw them back in your face; "I'm a bully, that's just who I am." etc.

But, like, you've also probably encountered similar tactics in kids who are sad and need comfort, but don't want to ask for or accept help- among many others. And if you have experience with one, you can figure out the other, too.

Idk! It's not easy, and it's overall definitely the more complicated and drawn-out route. But I definitely believe it's more effective to try to team up with the kid against their problems, rather than making yourself the enemy of the kid in an attempt to force their problems to just... disappear.

And ultimately, this is all based on my current experience and knowledge. I'm just trying to ask some questions, throw some of my own tactics toward you, and hopefully you find some useful ideas in there. This is a conversation more than, like, a guidebook or definitive answer.

[donnies-low-empathy]

@loser-swag Oh I guess I can talk about him. I guess. It’s not like he’s constantly in my head always it’s not like I’m thinking about him every second of every day. I can do that. (sarcasm)

Where to begin.

Ough okay so the death messages specifically. Let me copy paste a text I sent to my friend while I was coming up with that idea:

“God what if he records a special message for when the prosthetic or the scanner or weapon detects that its wearer is dying. What if they get a message in his voice being like “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve this. None of us did. We’ll fix it, in the end. It will be okay. I hope.” And nobody ever finds out about this until they’re literally on the brink of death and resistance members who have gone their whole lives thinking Donnie was cold and heartless and actually enjoying the apocalypse in some way will get slapped in the face with his sincerity and won’t even have the chance to reform their opinion of him before they die.”

Since then I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Usually it would consist of him apologising (because he sees this as a failure of his tech, because it was meant to protect them), some short “you didn’t deserve this”, and then finally a promise to make things better. To try, at least. To do whatever he can. To give them some peace of mind before they die.

I don’t know how much value he thinks these messages will actually have. He was very tired when he first recorded it and decided to implement it. This would be at least a couple years after the initial invasion, when the Earth is already so unfamiliar to everyone. He just felt like the least he could do was help them die peacefully if he couldn’t prevent them dying in the first place. Either way, it’s probably appreciated more than he knows.

I wonder if he’s thought about whether it would be selfish to make the last thing they ever hear be his voice, but in the end it’s probably better than whatever they were hearing before. Must be awful to die to the sound of the Krang killing everyone around you. Must be awful to die alone on the cracked ground, bleeding out, and the only thing you can hear is your own struggling breath.

I don’t know. Anyway. It’s not like he tells anyone about this. It’s not necessary. Nobody needs to be consciously aware that he’s thinking of the moment when they’re going to die.

…

I think the Resistance has mixed opinions about him. No matter how valuable you are to the group, being “rude” means people will typically have a bad opinion of you. And this man is so exhausted from his constant workload, he really doesn’t have the energy to waste on deciphering the correct responses with the correct tone at the correct times. So he tends to snap a bit. And brush people off and tell them he’s busy, because he is. He learns to manage this better later on (when he adapts and is less overwhelmed) but it’s still there. Listen having low empathy in the apocalypse when you’re working with so many other people is difficult. But he prioritises getting work done over being pleasant to talk to and very few people actually understand how he works. So. It’s not worth it, you know?

Despite that, there’s a good amount of people that respect him more than anything. They know his tech is the only thing keeping them alive, and they know how much he works and how much he does to keep them all safe, so they can see past the fact that he forgets to greet people or respond or make eye contact. I’d say the percentage of people who dislike him overall is like. 40%. The rest are fine.

[theloverscardtarot]

Spicy Evan Ovary Destroyer Reading#1

I said fuck it and wanted to do something fun. I used mostly oracle cards and it was, uh, interesting...

Better not keep @shamrock313 waiting 😉

What is Evan's general Energy in the bedroom? Hold onto your panties ladies.

Message in a Bottle: "Spirit hears you and the reply is favorable" Communication. Partner is seen and heard. In a sea of fish you find a bottle with a message in it. A treasure. I feel like he treasures intimacy like it's a sacred thing.

Come to the Edge: Edging, perhaps? Yowza! On the card a feminine figure is spreading rose petals as she walks across a small piece of land and to the edge of a cliff. I feel like he likes women to take the lead and seduce him. To lure him. The card suggests allowing oneself to be truly seen and intimate with their partner. Taking risks and communicating what is wanted.

Yin: Feminine receptivity. This card describes someone that lets others take the lead. This has been said before, but Evan may like his partner to be the dominant one. Is Evan shy and timid about sex? I would not guess that at all! 😉

Exchanging Gifts: This card basically represents taking and receiving. Hello! Need I say more. Use your tongue on him and he'll do the same. 🥵

Peace: This card represents freedom from attachment. A lot of casual sex? Some one nighters? It also represents connecting through sex. Being on the same page. Harmony and balance between two people. Like finely tuned instruments. Screaming in the dark together....ok I need an ice bath...

Blessed: (Yea no shit, Id feel blessed too): Unearned and unexpected gifts. This suggests Evan likes spontaneous sex. Loves his partner to surprise him with an..act. This can also lead to deeper intimacy with his partner.

Regeneration: Rebirth, second chances. Failing but coming back stronger. For me, this makes me think he looks at what may have gone wrong or didn't work out for his partner. And then he works on perfecting it. ✅✅✅

Tick Tock: This one had me shaking my head. Like could it say more? This card is all about timing. Yes, that timing. This man takes his time with you, has stamina, and knows when to time his...finale.

Unfinished Symphony: "Make sure to finish a project before you start/finish another one". 😳 Dare I say he's a pleaser? 😫 (That's my O face)

Happy, Happy: Yep. Desires being fulfilled. Joy and contentment. Or, in other words @shamrock313 's six of wands card. (😘)

New Life: Gonna keep this one short and sweet. The man is fertile.

(I can't make this shit up. The last three cards came out in sequence)

Overall: Death: Meaningful, spiritual transformation. Letting go, release. I fell like sex is a release for him.

Evan POV: Hold on tight to those panties ladies.

Page of Pents: Loyal, ambitious and attentive to needs. 🫠 He watches and learns and is very passionate. Energy is slow and steady. Do not rush. Have patience. He uses strategy and cleverness. Someone who engages with sensorial and tactile sensations. Ow, there goes an ovary.

Partner's POV:

Three of Pents: Craft, talent, collaboration. Hello. Talents and gifts intensify when working together and it, ahem, pays off. Are you allowing someone else to do the work? Again, pleaser.

What turns Evan on the most?

Ace of Pents:(I would like to note that the pathway depicted on my card looks like a squiggly penis. I'm not even kidding you. No, I am not insinuating Evan has a squiggly penis). Possession, physicality. "Flowers burst in a fertile garden. The garden represents safety and security" I honestly think this means he gets turned on feeling safe and secure with someone so he can let himself be submissive.

I asked for some more info and I, uh, got it....

7 of Pents: This card depicts a farmer gazing at his crops. He understands the cycles and growth. He is a hooded figure reflecting extra protection from matters at hand. Know when to move forward or..pull out, I mean back 🤭. Yea, I think this card is trying to say Evan is careful.

5 of Wands Rev.: This card represents avoiding conflict or fighting and making up. Which just means his make up sex is 🔥.

Hope you enjoyed ladies, and that your poor, defenseless ovaries survived 😘

[alyjojo]

Family Ties ⛪️ - May 2024 - Virgo

Overall Energy: Death

Death, The Tower rev, Justice, and The Hanged Man clarifying…whew. You’ve been through it 💯 All of these being major arcana shows a very intense period of time, most of which you probably haven’t had much control over, and much of which is destined on some level. Or karmic Justice. Probably for other people - and maybe you on some level. The Hanged Man is showing what this has done to you. In most decks, the man places himself on the Tree of Life in order to gain some perspective and wisdom. In this deck, he’s bound to the tree with rope, he definitely didn’t tie his own hands behind his back…and a crowd below him jeers at his plight. Not very peaceful, and definitely hard to gain perspective in the thick of that experience. This is telling you that whatever has ended, whatever is changing in your world, it IS for your protection, and things *will* balance out exactly how they’re supposed to. Justice ⚖️ Does it feel that way now, pffft no.

I see you clearly being validated with this Hanged Man, 7 Wands at the bottom, and 5 Wands in the ancestor messages - fk what other people think or say about what you’re doing, they don’t get to decide. Argumentative people to the left, you don’t have to give them space to care, and you don’t have to fight back. In fact, you shouldn’t. The Hanged Man can also show an energy of surrender, and that there is no fight - there’s not much you can do regarding other people’s problems, which some of these are, even if they affect you too.

Mother: King of Pentacles rev & 8 Swords rev

Oracle: Originality 💡 - Mercury Aquarius

50 Sacred Space

Use beautiful art, music, and creativity of all kinds to put you into a sacred space.

For some, Mom is just a creative type - she’s not into this materialism-based society and could give af less about things like status symbols and career titles. It would be being shown that she did that once and let it go, it’s not for her, could be a stay at home parent or have a job at home somehow - especially in a creative field. If not that, then she may have faced a very difficult ending, losing a long-time job - completely out of her control. Being laid off a few years before retirement. I’m seeing a house fire or wildfire for someone - that’s not a prediction it would be known and past energy by now. Losing what feels like *everything* she had worked so hard to build - specifically on her - if her and Dad are still together, some are. If not, it could be Dad she lost, and her whole life was uprooted and thrown to the wolves 💯 Still, she is very creative, resourceful, and…humble. I’m not getting defensive, or sadness, though it may have existed. There’s an energy of acceptance, and “what comes next”, very practical energy with an air of spiritual even if she’s not. Little things matter to her; she’s the type that would treasure a cup you painted for her for the rest of her life, but not care about owning a home, or whether she has the most updated phone. She might not even have a phone - there’s an off-grid vibe about her. She always has an eye to the future, but I’m not seeing solutions specifically…just a lot of thinking. Trying to figure out what’s right for her, moving forward. If not her, she’s heavily involved in the situation you’re in, you may have lost a job, had to move homes, she may not be the most well-off person either but she provides you with a “safe space” - is how I heard it, more than “sacred”. No judgment whatsoever from Mom, she’s either trying to help you figure it out or doing that herself.

Father: 10 Pentacles & Ace of Cups

Oracle: Intuition 🔮 - Mercury Cancer

Loss 😞 - Saturn Pisces

27 Pause

Accept that you must wait and prepare for developments to reach the next stage.

It’s possible Dad left and is part of a whole new family now, re-married, maybe having other children with the new person. It’s not the main story but it’s here for someone. His actions may have been impulsive, reckless, it probably happened some time ago. This would be a personality of someone who doesn’t really do shit for the original family but goes all out for the new one. It would make sense that you and Mom are forced to accept and surrender to this behavior…what could you do? Intuitively, he knows what he’s done, but it hasn’t really sunk in and won’t for some time. It will someday though, you can bet on that. Karma. If this is all past stuff, it may be right now that he’s waking up to his own actions, with Saturn Pisces being highlighted - and current.

For most, I feel like your parents are together still, and Dad is just very accepting of whatever is going on with Mom (or you). I keep hearing it’s no one’s fault, nothing could be done. A job wasn’t giving, wasn’t reciprocating, it was unreliable and temporary (unknown to whoever dealt with that). Things happen, and it’s okay. If anything, Dad may have faced some hard times in his own life, maybe his family did before, and he gets it - Saturn Pisces is giving empathetic, loving, generous energy, willing to do what he can in times of need. He knows he can control his own part of whatever is going on, and he chooses to cooperate and be supportive to Mom in whatever she does, whatever *she* values - is how I heard it. 10 Pentacles also shows he’s fine, at least on one side there isn’t complete destruction, he probably has a really good job. That’s why The Tower is rev - Dad steps up 💯 He also accepts that no situation is forever. If it’s your situation, same for you, there’s no judgment from Dad either, you’ve got supportive & loving people on your side. If he’s in, he’s all in, and if he’s not then he’ll learn…but probably too late to do anything about it.

Siblings: 10 Wands & Strength

Oracle: Speculation 👀 - Jupiter Cancer

Revenge 👺 - Mars Scorpio

39 Direction

Switch gears, reboot, and try a different direction.

Difficult energy here. Either your parents couldn’t have any more, or maybe just didn’t. If so, it’s something you’re pretty bitter about - or maybe just the circumstances involved. Secondly, again…Dad could have other kids other places, which just pisses you off and you have nothing to do with them. They have the perfect life and you are extremely vengeful at the unfairness of it all, totally fair and you’re being validated for that. Why are you vengeful, because you probably wouldn’t ever do that in the same situation. You’re loyal, but not to those people, and some are kids who have no freaking clue, you just wouldn’t be very close, if you speak at all.

The third possibility is a sibling that you just give up on, you don’t think they give a damn, or they make little to no effort to have anything to do with you & your life - so why would you bother getting involved with theirs? Is it vengeful, yes, do you have a point, also yes. They don’t want to be around - okay, fuck em, that’s basically what I’m seeing with that. The Fool and Direction show one/all of you have gone towards things that feel good to you - and it feels independently. Living your lives. I don’t see any indication that energy is wrong, maybe it’s supposed to be that way.

Grandparents: 8 Cups & 7 Swords

Oracle: Restlessness 🫨 - Mercury Aries

23 Secrets

Conceal plans and actions from those not ready to accept you as you are.

Ick. If Dad left, these would be his parents leaving too. Avoiding you, Mom, not wanting to “get involved”, protecting their own peace…not showing up for you whatsoever. It’s spineless, and self-interested, they’re only concerned with themselves. It’s possible they have unsavory things going on, I’m seeing jail - or rather avoiding someone out of jail. Someone that gets into real trouble, legal trouble, and they’re not the greatest person/people to be around - so you don’t. Or your family doesn’t, someone has cut the ties between you and a known liar/thief/shit disturber, and again I’m seeing this be validated and it’s for the best. Someone here can’t be trusted and either they’ve left, Dad did, or you have. Not missing anything here, and at the bottom there’s no possible change or progress either way that, they will always be this way.

Spiritual Ancestors/Guides: Ace of Wands & 5 Wands

Oracle: Detachment 🫥 - Venus Aquarius

14 Trust

Trust that you were born a creative being and have never stopped being one.

Somehow, this was all a gift. To you, to Mom, to whoever has felt pain and disappointment, whoever has dealt with this Tower rev and Justice. Immature behavior leads to betrayal and a painful ending - on whatever level it’s affecting you. But, it’s moving you where you need to go. I’m seeing this as AWAY from drama, conflict, competition, other people getting in your way of life. If there’s a lot of drama in the family it could be *the* thing that ends up determining your whole dang life path. Like “I can’t do this anymore!” and then bam, next week you’re joining the military and heading off to deploy across the world. Why I got military idk, not for everyone obv. It may be the very reason you choose what you choose, and *that* is the part that’s meant to be.

Especially if you have nothing to do with any of this, you didn’t create this situation nor did you ask for this bs; so why should you have to suffer the drama of it at all? Or if your parents are having a hard time with work/money, you could decide to do something to help them out. Maybe you moved homes during hard times and they’re driving you craaaaazy. Maybe the inner turmoil you have regarding Dad and the new family is what forces you in the direction you’re actually supposed to be going in. In some way, this is Justice, and I keep hearing “karmic” attached to it. This all seems divinely guided for your protection - and how that affects other people isn’t really your concern. The Hanged Man is sacrifice, and a lot of this isn’t even your problem. If it is then it is; and if not you need to detach from whatever you think “should” be, happen, how someone should pay, etc., and start noticing how things are changing with you. Alone. Hermit energy. The true ending I’m seeing here is the ending of a time you felt like loss, endings, abandonment perhaps, were the worst of everything - but I think that’s the perspective that’s changing. Or will.

[howaboutcastiel]

I've Made Up My Mind

Summary: (7) Layla’s on a hunting trip… and she hasn’t been home in a few days. FWMS Masterlist.

Genre: Mostly fluff, a little spicy, a tiny bit angsty. 

Content: Kissing, heavy petting ig. Vague talk of human trafficking and description of a violent nightmare. Overall… PG-13? 4.1k words. 

A/N: I could have made the text messages abbreviated and more ‘realistic’ or whatever, but I would rather them be readable. Just pretend Marc was an English major ok. This was originally only ½ a chapter but it got too long. 

Marc had been texting her a lot. 

It was part of their agreement, but neither of them had expected it to actually be working. Layla had met Marc halfway with his mental health treatment—he refused to go to therapy, she refused to sit by and watch him go on without help. He agreed to write and, by extension, he agreed to write to her. Every single day, whether he felt like it or not, whether he had anything to say or not.

Sometimes it would come in the form of simple good morning and good night texts. Other times, he’d stay on the phone with her late into the night, whispering the vulnerable things that he should have been saying to Layla all along. Some things were easier than others, he had come to find out, but that didn’t really matter. He stuck to his word.

Layla had been on a “work trip” in Dubai for the last several days. The targets that she was tracking were high-risk, high-reward, and the job took all her attention. Most of the time, she was unavailable to reply to him, but Marc still sent his texts like clockwork.

Marc: Good morning, I love you.

Marc: Goodnight, I love you.

Marc: Good morning. Please be safe. 

Marc: Having a hard day today. I wish you were here. 

Marc: Goodnight. I love you. 

Marc: Morning babe. Hope the weather’s good where you are. 

She hadn’t answered in over three days, but he wasn’t upset with her. Marc was scared, though. As much as Khonshu had protected him from harm, he wasn’t very convinced that Taweret could be trusted to do the same for Layla. He’d seen the entire Ennead’s avatars slaughtered in one night, and their gods were supposed to be protecting them, too. Maybe Taweret was good on her word, or maybe she was just as much of a pompous ass as the rest of the Egyptian deities. Either way, Marc was getting concerned at Layla’s lack of reply. His anxiety was palpable.

Marc: I just realized that I don’t even know what your favorite flowers are. That’s one of the first things a husband should know, isn’t it? As soon as you get home, I’m buying you flowers. 

Marc: I love you so much. Goodnight. 

Marc: I think that the nightmares have started again. 

He didn’t know much about his PTSD, except that a doctor had told him a long time ago that his nightmares were part of it. At the time, most of them were about his brother, save for a select few brutal ones about his mom. Now, though, he had a whole array of horrors that would threaten to greet him every time he closed his eyes. They only worsened when his bed was empty. 

Steven’s presence helped a little bit, but Marc was still losing enough sleep to affect his cognition. Even if he did manage a few hours, he’d wake up exhausted all the same. His heart would be racing, his sheets would be drenched in sweat, and his limbs would be so heavy that it almost hurt to drag himself to the shower and then to the kitchen to brew a too-strong cup of coffee. Sometimes the body rested better when Steven was the one at the front. Sometimes, though, he’d return to the Duat when he fell asleep. Paralysis would follow, but instead of a demon to haunt him, there would just be the dreaded image of endless dunes and the feeling of sand in his throat. 

Needless to say, the boys were not sleeping very much. They had come to be used to it, but it seemed quite unfair that they’d made so many strides in sharing the body and still could not manage to get a good night’s rest. Steven knew of many ways to pass the time when the restlessness came, but Marc wasn’t used to it. Each time a terror managed to tear him up from his bed, there was only one thing he had to fall back on. 

Marc: Last night it was about our trip to Tokyo. You remember that? I was scared as shit that whole mission but you didn’t even flinch. 

Marc: It wasn’t like the trip though. I was so slow, it’s like I was frozen in place. You were running around fighting just like normal. But you were too slow, too. I just watched it all in slow motion and they took you away from me. 

Marc: I don’t know what I would do if that happened. 

Marc: I miss you so much. I know you’re busy but please let me know you’re okay. 

Marc: I love you so much. 

He couldn’t believe the man he was turning into. Marc had never spoken this much about anything in his life. Ever. Even if it was just over text, even if he didn’t have to say the words out loud, he’d never been so… vulnerable before. He never knew that he even could. The more time he spent saying these things to Layla, though, the more natural they felt to share. 

Marc: You know how they say that love at first sight isn’t real? I call bullshit on that. The first time that I saw you I was already done for. You had on that leather jacket and your hair was pinned back, and you tore into that guy at the display case when he credited your father’s work to some other dickhead. There was just so much fire in you and I knew right then. I was hooked. I had to have you. 

Marc: That sounds all sexist doesn’t it. That’s not what I meant. You know what I meant. You were just all the perfect things and I didn’t even know what to do with myself. I wanted to protect you, I had this NEED to protect you. But you never needed it, you always took care of yourself. You still do. 

Marc: That was the only way I knew how to love you. 

Work had been a solid distraction, but time was stretching on and there was still no word from Layla. Marc’s unease was beginning to grow into panic. Now, his lack of sleep was from worry just as much as from nightmares. It took everything in him not to turn to the bottle for comfort, or god forbid, one of his other coping mechanisms. 

Marc: I just want to know you’re okay. 

Marc: I’m sorry for the things that I did. I know that I already apologized but… I’m sorry. The way that I lied to you all that time. I don’t know what was wrong with me. It’s still hard not to lie sometimes, but I never do. I promise. I will never lie to you again. I was so goddamn stupid and I thought that you were better off without me. I don’t know, I still think that, but I don’t want to hurt you like that again. Plus you have Steven now too. He can give you things that I can’t. He can be the things that I’ll never be. The things that you deserve. 

Marc: Please tell me you’re okay. It’s been four days. 

He was half-convinced to book a plane ticket to Dubai. Marc gave himself another day. If Layla didn’t reply in the next 24 hours, he was coming to find her. Ceremonial suit or not, he would be there to make sure she was safe. He couldn’t help himself. 

It was nearly two in the morning and Marc hadn’t even shut his eyes once. He knew that he needed to be up at the crack of dawn, but he couldn’t get his heart to stop jumping into his throat. Marc had taken ibuprofen for the pounding in his head, but it barely muted the physical pain and didn’t touch the rest of it. He sat at the edge of his bed, drawing circles on his skin and willing the motion to calm some part of him down. It wasn’t working. 

Suddenly, the dead quiet of the night was interrupted by a sharp, chiming tone. 

A text alert. 

Marc flinched at the noise and his head jerked in the direction of his night stand. The flip-phone sat motionless on the side table, the screen illuminated blue. He snatched it into his hand. 

The phone started going wild. Text after text flooded in until more than a dozen messages had been alerted in quick succession. Voicemail tones rang in-between them. Marc could only stare at the phone in shock until the onslaught slowed. Finally, the tones stopped and the room was once again silent. He pulled the first message up on the screen. 

(4 Days Ago) Layla: I’m about to lose signal for a few days. Not even sure I have it now. I don’t know if my messages will send, but I’ll try to update you. 

(4 Days Ago) Layla: Goodnight. I love you. 

(3 Days Ago) Layla: I’m beginning to think that the wings on this suit are giving me a complex. 

(3 Days Ago) Layla: I’m safe, by the way. Might not text for a day or two. I got a good lead. 

(3 Days Ago) Layla: I miss having my partner to help me. 

(1 Day Ago) Layla: Finishing up here. I’ll tell you all about it when I get back to London. Leaving later tonight. 

(2 Hours Ago) Layla: Oh God. I just got your messages. None of mine even sent to you did they?

(2 Hours Ago) Layla: I just got off my flight. I’m waiting on the bus now. Are you awake?

(2 Hours Ago) Layla: Can I come over?

And then, one final ping. 

(17 Minutes Ago) Layla: Fuck it. I’m coming over. 

If Marc was restless before, he was wide awake now. He fumbled for the switch on the lamp beside his bed, illuminating the room with a much harsher light than the glow of the moon seeping through the windows. The apartment was a mess—dirty mugs littered about the place, shirts and sweats strewn across the floor. Marc scrambled to clear a path from the front door, hiding the clear evidence that he’d been falling apart for the last couple days.

He had just placed the last mug in the sink when a gentle knock against the door echoed into the kitchen. 

Marc was at the door in an instant. He turned the knob and pulled it toward him. Layla was dressed in a hoodie and sweats, likely the clothes that she wore on the plane. Her hair was tied up in a bun. She looked tired. 

Her feet dangled in the air as Marc scooped her up into his arms, taking less than a second to look her over first. Layla gasped at the impact, digging her nails into his back. She expected him to put her down after that, but he didn’t budge. Marc's arms were wrapped firmly around her and he wouldn’t let go. He couldn’t. 

“Hey, baby,” she hummed. Layla leaned into his touch, bringing her hand up to the back of his head. He sighed into her neck. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I love you,” Marc groaned. His breath was hot against her skin. He kicked the door shut and stumbled backward to the sitting room. “I missed you.”

Layla chuckled when the backs of his knees hit the couch. “I know. I love you, too.”

Marc was shaking. He hadn’t realized it until now, but he was practically buzzing with energy. Whether it was excitement or shock or something else, he wasn’t entirely sure. All he knew is that he couldn’t physically get any closer to Layla, but he didn’t feel quite close enough. 

“Scared me to death.” His grip didn’t soften. He leaned back until his shoulders hit the cushions. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Her weight shifted on top of him. Her mouth found his ear and her teeth grazed the lobe. “I’m back now.” 

He hadn’t felt like this in so long. In some respect, Marc had never felt like he was feeling right now. He had never wanted to hold her so tightly. He had never been so utterly terrified to let go. What Marc could remember, though, was the feeling of longing. The feeling that their bodies fit together like pieces of a puzzle. The feeling that Marc’s only goal in the world was to make Layla feel good. Like that was his purpose. 

Marc pulled her down into a kiss.

They moved together lazily, but passionately. It seemed that neither of their bodies quite had the energy for what they truly had in mind. He held Layla against him with all the strength he could muster, keeping her body flush with his and giving her the opportunity to explore his waist with the limited movement of her one free hand. The two of them could have stayed there for hours, save for the fact that it was nearly three in the morning and neither of them had slept a wink in days. Marc persisted, though, as long as he could. He only finally pulled away when his lungs could not physically handle being deprived of air anymore. 

Layla wrapped herself around him from behind when they made their way to the bed. She was nearly as tall as him, her frame almost as big, so she had no difficulty enveloping him in her arms. He was rigid against the feeling at first, but managed to sink into it in a matter of minutes. He felt safe in her arms and, though he wouldn’t admit it, he really needed her to hold him right now. 

“I’m happy you’re here,” he mumbled to her. Sleep was tugging at him in a way that it hadn’t dared to in days. Her breath tickled his neck. 

She interlocked their fingers, breathing a chuckle. “Me too. Wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

His eyelids were heavy. He was as tired as he’d ever been before, but only now did his body seem to think it was safe to relax. Marc thought, for just a moment as he drifted off, that he might actually sleep well tonight. That would have been too good to be true, though, and sure enough, the nightmares came just the same as they always did. 

This time it was Cairo. Nothing too fancy, nothing imaginative. Marc’s mind was filled to the brim with imagery of Arthur Harrow and his followers. The violet beam that Harrow flung from his cane wrought destruction in every direction. Marc reached for the crescent blade on his chest, but felt only fabric underneath his palm. Just like always, Marc’s feet were frozen in place. He couldn’t move, couldn’t protect himself. More importantly, he couldn’t protect her. 

“Layla.”

He called out to her, intending to shout, but the noise came out barely a whisper. She couldn’t hear him. Layla stood before Harrow in her avatar suit, just a few steps away from the tip of his outstretched cane. He had noticed her presence. It was only a matter of moments before he decided to strike against her. 

“Layla!”

Still, nothing came out. Marc could only watch in horror as the beam of light struck Layla square in the chest, knocking her backwards. He wanted to scream at Harrow—to distract him, to make himself the target instead of her—but his voice was shot. The disciple walked right by him, zeroing in on his wife. She seemed in no rush to pick herself up off the ground. Marc already knew how this ended. In a hundred different nightmares, he’d seen the same thing before. Layla, fighting against all odds, determined as always. Him, frozen and unable to help. Too slow to protect her. Too weak to protect her. He had watched his enemies strike her down a hundred times before. That’s all he could ever do. Watch. 

Harrow brought his cane over his head, aiming the crocodile-shaped knob on the end against Layla’s skull. Marc tried to look away as he dealt the first blow. His head wouldn’t turn though, and his eyes wouldn’t close no matter how hard he tried. Even if he’d seen it a hundred times, even if a small part of his mind always knew that it wasn’t real, it didn’t hurt any less. He yelled for her, one last desperate plea. 

Marc was at the edge of the bed before he even realized he was awake. He almost wanted to laugh at himself—it was normally Steven that woke up running. The beginning light of the sunrise illuminated the room just enough for him to see the outline of a figure beside him. He lowered himself back into bed, blushing at the way Layla was staring at him. He didn’t know if his movement had woken her up or if he was talking in his sleep. Either way, it was obvious she knew he’d just woken from a nightmare. 

“Sorry,” he murmured. His body was still trembling and his heart was still racing. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s alright,” she chimed. She held out her arms as an offer to hold him. To comfort him. “I get them, too.”

He shook his head, moving to sit at the edge of the mattress. “I don’t think I can go back to sleep right now.”

“You should at least try, darling. You’ve barely slept three hours.”

“I’ll be fine.” He put his head in his hands. Layla was having none of it. 

“At least lay with me.” She repositioned herself so that he could lay his head against her chest. She patted the bed beside her. “Please? Keep me warm, baby.”

“Okay.”

Marc always loved the feeling of Layla running her hands through his hair. It was the most relaxing sensation he could think of. Layla carded her fingers through his curls as he laid against her, and Marc could feel his muscles relaxing more than they had in months. The trembling died down the longer he listened to her steady heartbeat. After a while, he brought his arms up to wrap properly around her torso. 

“Thank you,” he mumbled into her chest. 

Layla pulled the cover up over him. “For what?”

“For staying.” 

The sun was rising above the horizon by now. The low golden glow illuminated the studio just enough that Layla could see the content on his face. She could also see that, despite his relaxed demeanor, he wasn’t going back to sleep. As much as it would have made sense to get up and put on a pot of coffee, Layla wanted to stay warm under the covers for just a little while longer. 

Marc wasn’t the only one who had fallen apart over the last few days. 

“Marc.” Her voice was worried, hesitant. He craned his neck to look at her, picking up on the tone immediately. “I don’t think that I can be alone right now.”

He hadn’t asked about the details of the mission. Layla had told him the basics: a trafficking ring was wreaking havoc on the people of Dubai, particularly on the women and children in poorer communities. Taweret had found a gap in their operation—one that Layla could squeeze into perfectly, if she played her cards right. It was never meant to be a one-and-done trip, but Taweret had hoped they could take a chunk out of the organization, to weaken them right from the start. Marc hadn’t yet asked whether she and Layla had accomplished that. 

“You don’t have to be.” He brought his hand down to hold hers. Layla’s wedding ring brushed along his palm and he squeezed her hand tight. “You wanna talk about it?”

“No,” she piped. Layla gritted her teeth. “But I need to.”

They readjusted, so now Layla was laying as Marc had just been, her head resting on her husband’s chest and her arm wrapped around his waist. 

“It’s only fair,” he half-smiled. “I’ve been baring my soul to you for weeks.”

She smirked. “You’re supposed to be doing that anyway.”

“So are you.”

Layla took a few deep breaths before starting. Talking about things was easier for her than it was for Marc, but that still didn’t mean it was easy. She sighed. “This job is so much bigger than I thought. And it’s so much…worse. It’s horrible.”

Marc nodded slightly and she cleared her throat. She continued, “I saw things I don’t know how to forget. I mean, some of our adventures together got pretty rough, right? But this was something else entirely. It was like going to hell. Actual hell. These people are demons, Marc. I don’t know what else to call them.”

The worst of the worst, Marc thought to himself. “I can see why Taweret wanted them punished.”

“No, not punished.” Layla shook her head. “Eradicated. It’s not about them Marc, it’s about all the people they’ve hurt. All the people they’re still hurting. They need help. My help.”

Her breath shuddered and Marc brought his hand up to rub circles on her back. “But it’s not just Dubai. It’s not even just the peninsula. It’s everywhere, love. I mean absolutely everywhere. It’s at least over half of Asia and probably just as much of Africa and Europe. I don’t even know if calling it the tip of the iceberg would do it justice. There’s got to be a million people involved, or close to it. The ring isn’t that powerful, but it’s so spread out. I can’t imagine how far.”

Marc didn’t like any of what he was hearing. He hated the thought of that many people in danger, of that many children in danger, but it wasn’t just that. He could tell by Layla’s tone that her fear was not pushing her to forfeit the mission. It wasn’t motivating her to step back or to minimize the scope of her goal. No, he knew better than that. Layla was terrified, not because she had bitten off more than she could chew, but because she was sure now more than ever that she would not stop until the ring had burned to the ground. 

“So what are you going to do?” He questioned hesitantly. 

Layla almost winced as she thought of her answer. 

“I’m going to dance with the devil.”

She buried her head deeper into his chest, trying to absorb the heat. “It’s already started. I have to go in as a participant. I have to work for them, or at least make them think that’s what I’m doing. That’s why I couldn’t text for a few days, they had to search me. Had to be sure I wasn’t a cop or someone from a rival group. I had to make them trust me. Or at least, not actively distrust me.”

“Layla…”

“I know, baby. I know how dangerous it is and I know what it means I’ll have to do. But I can’t stop now. You should know that more than anyone.”

Marc’s heart was skipping again. “Is Taweret making you do this? Is she forcing you?”

“No, Marc. She’s not like him. She wouldn’t do that. This is my choice, alright? I’ve made up my mind.”

And Marc knew what it meant that Layla had made up her mind. There was no point in arguing, no point in trying to convince her otherwise. There was no point in doing anything besides helping her or getting out of her way, and Marc was in no position to help. Not the way she needed him. 

“I’ll talk to Steven about helping you track them.”

Her body went rigid at the statement, and she hugged him tighter. “Thank you.”

“Now come on, we gotta get up.” He stretched underneath her, trying to gently roll her off. 

She didn’t budge. 

“Come on, babe. I’ve got work.”

Layla made a noise of discontent. “Five more minutes.”

He scoffed, then smiled. “Fine, but you’re making breakfast.”

~~~

I hate that this chapter is so late. Ill try to keep to the schedule better.

@n1ght5h4d3-24 @magicwithaknife @rmoonstoner @nervouslaught3r @unavoidabledirewolf @kbakery @mccn-bcys @gingermous @avatarofseshat @damreonsgirl @dragons-are-my-favorite @k8esilver @competentpotato @theconsultingdoctor10 @rayrlupin @moony-artemis @nerdory10 @valkyrieace

@ahookedheroespureheart @mt2sssss @loki-hargreeves @starfirette @celeste412 @avengersinitiative2012 @sifinskies @unspokenmoon @maplemind @mainstreambitchlife @hot-mess-express1 @toracainz @zarahbronstein @daughterofthequeen @am-3-thyst @romanarose @wand-erer5 @jake-g-lockley @in-between-the-cafes @alexismm @moonmoonboys @joyful-soul-collector

[bonefetti]

This is my first attempt at writing Durgetash. I don't have an ao3 account so I am posting this here. Hopefully someone out there likes it, but I just needed to put it out into the world because I can't stop thinking about these two little murdermayhemdorks.

Warning: light talk of violence

---------------------------

Lord Enver Gortash. It made for quite a wonderfully posh sounding name. The title, of course, was self-appointed but that was a miniscule detail in the grand scheme of it all. Though it was surely a headache going through the proper channels to make it official, the only two crucial things needed were the sponsorship of some very key figures and coin in all the right pockets. 

By the time Gortash had reached his mid-20’s, he had acquired quite the supply of weapons to arm all of the Gate two times over. It had been no easy task but there had been one thing above all else that he had in spades, and that was charisma. He could charm the jewels off any nobility in the span of an evening with little trouble. Amassing wealth with ease, all the while silencing the competition through whatever means necessary. 

It was almost commendable. 

The only bowing and scraping I preferred was my quarry’s bones breaking and gutting their insides. 

To bask in their blood instead of approval, to dance with them until they were out of breath as their lungs were punctured with my blades. 

Over and over and over again in His name. 

One could say I had my moments of bloodlust so great, Orin would pout for days with jealousy over Father’s praise of me. I took extreme pleasure in gloating any chance I would get just to piss her off. 

To avoid His ire, I kept my approval of Bane’s chosen to myself. I don't think myself foolish enough to voice my praise of his methods, his own fierce lust for power near matching my own for bloodshed. 

It was almost impressive. 

My musings continued for a time, as I sat at the edge of my bed, carefully straightening and sharpening my tools. I had no trust in the city’s blacksmiths to care for my blades nor any faith in my fellow brethren in the temple. They were much too important and special to be parted from for even a minute. My style was different to Orin’s and I took pride in that. She fussed with the details too, too much. Though I suppose it mattered little in the end, the results were the same. Mindless slaughter had its place and time, but overall, I much preferred cold, calculated kills. In a way I found a reflection of myself in the Banite lord. 

It was almost comforting. 

“My lady most bloody, a letter has arrived for you from that chosen of Bane.” Scleritas Fel enunciated the last part with a faint disgust as he hobbled over to deliver the sealed scroll. Making his way up the stone steps, muttering to himself about the debris here and there along the way. 

“Ah, thank you. Is this the only correspondence?” Looking it over, suspicious of how small it seemed, I broke the seal and began to read. Gortash had not written for over a month, and I had assumed the next message would make up for the absence of communication. 

“Seems I was mistaken.” I murmured, taking note of the singular sentence in the center. 

I could feel the butler’s eyes on me as I cast myself into thought. “My lady-...” I stood suddenly, the whetstone and the steel rod clattering to the ground as I holstered my daggers back in their rightful spots upon my body. 

“I must go, Scleritas. Don't trouble yourself too much while I'm away. I shall be gone for a ten day, but I shall send word of my safe arrival. It seems the next part of our plan is underway.” I did not elaborate further, despite his protests. 

“Keep a little eye on Orin in the meantime.” I smiled slightly, opening a portal and stepping through, disappearing in an instant. 

Scleritas Fel sighed and began to tidy the room as best as he could, shaking his head at the state of everything. “What a disaster.” 

—----

Once my foot had made contact with the much warmer and drier stone floor, I knew precisely where the portal connected. There was always a slight variation that I unfortunately could not predict, which made me uneasy and raised my hackles at the chance of being caught unawares. Much like the Fist who stood there, surprised yet mostly unconcerned at my sudden appearance once they realized who it was. At least this portal was somewhat reasonable in its location. 

A stout, red haired dwarf looked over at me and nodded his head up the flight of stairs next to him. Ah, so the lord was in his chambers. 

I breezed past the guards without acknowledgement, knowing they cared little for the song and dance when it was in a private setting. 

I made my way silently up the twisting staircase to reach the landing. As much as I hated the din the Steel Watch made stomping around, it covered my movements quite nicely. 

The lavishness of his office was never unnoticed, from the rosewood furniture to the imported rugs stretching on for what seemed like miles. Despite the underground temple being my home, I did quite like the way the sunlight shone through the stained glass windows that both illuminated and gave a modicum of secrecy. I stopped for a moment to look up at the images detailed in the glass, watching the colors dance on my hand. The red from the roses in the motif looked particularly delightful and enticing as it rippled across my wrist, mixing with the dark veins that stood out against my skin. 

"It's a shame wherever you worship your god it's not feasible to have windows installed."

I turned with a look, one that did not seem altogether welcoming, but was ignored as Gortash strolled through the hall. 

"Not enough red for my taste, but then again, it might spruce up the place a bit. I doubt Father would approve." I put my hand down, and turned fully to face him. 

"Is it finally time? You were rather short-changed with your missive. I was beginning to think that an assassin had gotten to you."

"You're the only assassin in my life, dearest." Words dripped with artificial honey. 

Gortash outstretched his arms and motioned to follow him, remarking on his newest acquisitions of property along the way. 

I followed, glancing every now and then to his gestures but mostly uninterested. Worldly possessions hardly intrigued me, the teachings of Father always rang through. Death is the only gift, and everything else falls away into the void of oblivion. I did have some small daydreams of having a few comforts when I was younger, but it was folly to hold onto those once I began killing in the name of Bhaal and saw how temporary everything truly was. 

"...and that armoire was my latest commission. It cost a pretty sum of gold but it goes quite well with-..." 

Gods, he did like his knick-knacks. 

I suppose it wasn't fit for a tyrant to live like a pauper, but I would never admit aloud that I agreed with him on anything outside of the Plan. Not that it mattered much. Watching him grandstand made him a more beautiful target at the end of it all once everything was completed. Oh, how he would bleed so prettily on Father's altar. Gasping for breath as his life dripped from his open neck, helplessly clawing and eyes glassy with tears of pain. What a glorious sight it would be. My head buzzed in excitement at the thought, missing the sounds around me as I pictured the scene. 

"Are your ears filled with blood? I said have you eaten?" Gortash raised his voice to a shout, having had stopped his material rambling and had his hands upon his hips, a scowl present on his brow. 

I stretched my arms up and out in front of me, like an alley cat woken from a nap in the sun, knowing it would irk him. 

Taking my time to answer, I circled him. His eyes remained locked onto mine, not letting his guard down as I continued wordlessly stepping. His mouth twitched into a frown, and I breathed out a sound of approval. 

"I hadn't planned on lunch but if your lordship is offering."

"Enough."

I tilted my head at him to playfully acquiesce. I had stopped my pace right in front of him, taking note of his height. Although he was slightly taller, his figure was still a little imposing coupled with that ridiculous collar on his robes, he knew how to stand out in any room. 

Once I was still, his frown let up and he blinked slowly, gathering his temper. 

I could see he was trying so hard. Poor lordling. Orin would say that in such a sickly tone, I almost laughed at how it would draw his ire almost instantly. Oh how he hated Orin. It could have been any number of things, her insane fanaticism, her propensity to shape-shift into him to mock him. Gods, it was funny to hear her voice come out of that mouth of his. It would send him into a rage only Bane himself could match.  

"If you're quite finished being a brat, we have a long way to travel before we can rest again. We will be unable to stop once we reach the Shadow-cursed lands, so if you faint from hunger I will throw your body to the wretched creatures along the way." He motioned to sit at the table, groaning under piles of food, tureens and plates filled to the brim with food that I hadn't seen in years. Not since the House of Hope. 

"Where's the rest of the party?" I joked, pulling out a chair across from him at the far end, noting the empty chairs. 

"It will be just you and I this time, as I wanted to discuss the plan in confidence before we set out."

I pulled a leg off a carcass, fingertips greasy and warm, and began to gnaw at the meat much to the muted horror of the Banite fancyman. 

"I almost forget you are feral, the way you can almost behave in public but your table manners are extremely lacking." He picked up a knife and fork and made to begin slicing into the steak on his much fancier plate. 

In an instant, I was at his side, dagger pulled and poised above his meal. I leaned into him, my mouth close to his ear. "I could do a most excellent job slicing this for you, my lord." My lips connecting with his skin, words meted out carefully. My warm breath moving the hairs that fell by his cheek. 

His hand shot up, gripping the wrist holding the dagger, twisting until I hissed with pain. 

"That's quite enough of that as well. Your show of theatrics rivals my own, but you'd do well to not draw that blade so close to me, Bhaalspawn." His well manicured nails dug into my skin, hard enough to leave marks. I smiled, pulling back and admiring the red moons gracing my skin now. Far from domesticated, his words did hold truth. I was feral. Feral and free. I would never want to be caged or restrained. I'd fight tooth and knife to escape, even if it meant to the death. Putting away my dagger once more, I sauntered back to my chair, taking a handful of grapes with me. I squeezed them one by one into my mouth, letting the juices flow into my mouth, looking at Gortash while I savored the red fruit. 

His lidded eyes held my gaze, seemingly bored but still not looking away from my motions. "How does your food taste, milord?" Knowing full well his hands rested on the table, silverware abandoned. 

"It's quite cold, thanks to you. Perhaps I should have extended the invitation to Orin, then you might have actually been on your best behavior." He picked up his gold chalice and took a sip of wine, a wine I was not familiar with nor could afford. 

The last grape slipped out of my grip at his words and bounced off the table, rolling down to the middle floor beneath the table. I set my full attention on him. 

"Orin would bleed you and drink you like the wine in your cup. I'd hardly call that a contest for good behavior. Not that I haven't thought about it myself." I resumed picking at the meat that I had previously started on, but the appetite was lost at the mention of my kin. 

"Drinking my blood?" Gortash brought the cup to his lips and chuckled slightly. "Come now, you're far above a vampire's spawn." 

"Vampires drink to live, I live to drink. I do not subsist on it like some thing hiding in the dark, it's a blessing to anoint myself with my victims in His name. To bathe in it and be covered in a life once lived." 

"Perhaps this food was much too rich of a choice for you. I could have some viscera brought up from the kitchens. Maybe throw you a bone to set your teeth upon." 

"I am no animal to be given scraps. I am the child of a god and you'd do well to remember that, Banite." I spat, tossing the meat down onto the plate with a loud clatter. 

"Trust that I never let that slip my mind, oh flesh of Bhaal. But now that we have that out of the way, I wanted to discuss the schedule for our journey. It will take about three days from the Gate to reach Moonrise Tower, provided we don't run into trouble. I have been making arrangements with General Thorm over safe passage through the area and it looks like we have just about everything need to deliver the final stone so we can begin to execute our...-my- plan." He moved a few dishes to the side and began reading a parchment. My hunger returned in the silence so I plucked a few more fruits and rolls from the bowls before me and we ate in silence until it was time to set out. Gortash had mentioned that we would be traveling by rothe-drawn carriage, a dim prospect. I had wished for a quicker method of transport, but it seems like the Sharran-scarred lands were resistant to most magics and it would be fatal to end up anywhere a foot out of the line of safety. I heard from my brethren what happens to anyone not blessed by the light of Selune, when the darkness touches them and they lose themselves forever. 

It was something I did not wish to experience, despite my curiosity to see the effects and my impatience. 

"Have you had enough to eat? There won't be much in the way of anything edible while we make our way through. Everywhere has rotted for over a century, so I doubt you'd find anything amongst the stores." 

I nodded lost in thought, wondering about the state of the place we were traveling to. To see the influence of a lesser god physically manifested. 

"Excellent, now let us begin to make our way to history." He clapped his hands together and stood up with a flourish. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The roads near Baldur's Gate were well maintained and made for a smooth ride but as we ventured farther from the city, it was becoming increasingly apparent that it would only get rougher from here on out. Perhaps Gortash was a little too on the nose with his calling me an animal. I felt like one, in this ornate and pompous box, rumbling down the stone roads. I was on edge, but very tired. I took to polishing my daggers, as they had deserved to be shining and beautiful. It had been too long since they had been used and it was starting to pain me. I craved blood. Gortash sat on the opposite side from me, legs crossed with more of those boring plans draped across them. 

"Would you like to be let out to run around for a bit to cure you of your restlessness? Or will you cease your shifting so I can read in peace?" He glanced up, with a look of annoyance. I peered out at the landscape, sunset falling over the hills, setting them ablaze with an orange glow. It was almost as good as the glass windows of Wyrm's Crossing. "We are nearing the monastery?"

"Yes, we shall pass by it on the crossroads, but we will have it behind us by nightfall. I think a stop here would suffice before we enter Shar's territory." He reached out of the window and knocked on the top of the carriage twice, signaling a stop to the driver. 

I opened the door and leaned out, breathing in the air. It was sweet, like honeysuckle. There was so much flora here compared to the city, even with the parks. I almost retched in my mouth. 

"Not quite the...unique perfume of the sewers, is it? You know, I've always wondered how you do not reek of offal every time we meet. Simply astounding." He brushed some rather invisible dirt off his elaborate jacket, most likely the paranoia of being around me. Once the smell of the clean forest around us had finished its assault on my senses, I took the opportunity to stretch my legs and leap up onto a series of boulders overlooking the canyon below. I never really had left Baldur's Gate, save for the nearby towns. This is the farthest I've traveled from my temple, from Orin, a welcomed reprieve. The city I had called home felt smaller, the world itself opened before me and I wondered what else lay out there. I watched the sun sink further past the forest-covered mountains and wondered if I might ever set my sights on a view like this ever again. 

“It’s almost beautiful.”

Gortash looked up at me, barely noticing the surrounding nature. “Not quite as beautiful as your ability to maim, dear.” 

I held his gaze a little longer than was necessary, taking note of his features in the dying light, the way his brows were no longer knitted together. He looked younger in this moment, almost like his damned posters plastering the walls of the city at every turn. The savior of Baldur’s Gate, the Lord triumphant. I imagined this as his rare moment of respite from his meticulous planning and wondered if he ever grew tired of plotting world domination. I shook my head at the notion. It was as if I had asked myself if I ever felt sick of killing. Absolutely foolish. With that thought gone, I jumped down close to where he stood and began my trek back to the carriage. We were almost past the last bastion of safety and soon our voyage would be much more precarious once we switched to traversing the area on foot. 

Gortash had remained uncharacteristically quiet but I did not press him for conversation further, as it was barely a favorite pastime of mine outside of his company. He did enough of the talking for the both of us. I closed my eyes while remaining alert of my surroundings. I would not get much rest soon and it would be unwise to not take advantage of the opportunity now. I could feel him settle back into his seat, the rustle of parchment no longer audible. The carriage resumed along the dirt road, making quick work of the vista around us until it was lost in the dark. 

To Moonrise. 

-----

[poppletonink]

BOOK REVIEW: Radio Silence - Alice Oseman

★★★★★ - 5 stars

"I wonder – if nobody is listening to my voice, am I making any sound at all?"

Frances Janvier studies. She studies a lot. Because soon enough, Frances will be applying to Oxford, and she knows that good grades will get her in. So, Frances Janvier studies, and she doesn't let anyone get in her way, because she has to go to university. Frances Janvier also happens to be incredibly boring, or so her friends probably think, because all she does is wear plain clothes and complete school work. Then, Frances meets Aled, and for once in her life she feels free to be herself. But Aled is Carys' brother, and Carys is the girl who vanished, and though she’ll never admit it, Frances may just know the reason she disappeared. With new friends, secrets that are tearing her apart, and her future on the line, what happens when her platonic soulmate and the passions she never knew she had take her down a path she never even considered an option?

First of all, I need to make it abundantly clear that the message of this book is so important. It holds the idea that school and grades are not all that makes a person. It teaches that you can make it on your own, and that school isn't for everyone. Most of all, it reminds the reader that life doesn't always go the way you want it to or expect it to. For those reasons, and so many more, I feel that it's vital for people to read this book.

As always with Alice Oseman's books, I was instantly attached to the characters. I found comfort in the wonderfully weird ways of Frances and Aled. I felt the need to protect Raine at all costs, and wanted to give Daniel the hug he clearly needs on more than one occasion. I got so absorbed in the lives of these characters, that at numerous points I wanted to throw the book across the room just because Aled's mother was mentioned. If you are, like me, a character driven reader, I must advise going to your local library or purchasing this book anywhere that you can - I guarantee you will love it. Alongside the characters as individuals are the relationships that intertwine them. It’s safe to say, the character relationships are the main drive of the plot, with Frances and Aled’s friendship being the heart of the novel, and even Aled and his mothers’ relationship displaying the toxic attitudes some parents impose upon their children.

The main theme explored throughout the book is the idea of identity. Radio Silence explores the fear of letting our truest selves be seen, of being viewed as weird for the things we’re interested in, and implores the reader to express themselves however they want to (it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks).

Alongside the theme of identity, Alice explores the idea of freedom to choose. Society often sets us up for the idea that academia is the one route we can take in life - you go to school, then college or sixth form and then university. Radio Silence discusses how this is not the only option - especially for those of us who are in the arts - and that, even if society tells you otherwise, school isn’t for everyone. It’s explored in many ways, whether its through Frances and Aled’s storylines or Raine’s or Carys’. There’s even the podcast ‘Universe City’, which presents an anti-capitalist, anti-school-system attitude, that readers can listen to exerpts of as they read (the podcast episodes included throughout the novel are available to listen to on Alice Oseman’s Youtube Channel).

Overall, Radio Silence is an amazing book - a book that should be required reading for everyone across the globe. It teaches teenagers, and adults alike, important messages (messages we all could do with be reminded of once in a while). The characters are phenomenal. The writing is easy, yet impactful. I’d definitely recommend giving it a read, especially to those of you who feel like outcasts or are misplaced in the school system.