#no matter how you interpret their relationship

[steppenwolfslair]

This will sound a little bitchy but whatever.

I very much dislike that so many of us have to add the ''henry and hans are close whether romantic OR platonic''. Like i have to watch my words so i don't potentially ''hurt the feelings'' of some bigot online who can't stand to watch two men express fondness in a way that absolutely can be interpreted as explicitly romantic.

When I say I love the Hans/Henry relationship i mean it in a romantic way, i love their ROMANTIC relationship. I won't modify my words to avoid some homophobe gamerbro getting riled up.

These roaches are going to be angry at you no matter what so please don't ever try and appease them. Not that people are necessarily doing it on purpose or consciously.

I did this subconsciously, without even thinking about it and realized now why i did it, to avoid conflict with these idiots whose opinion means dog shit to me.

So when people try and show up on my art that is EXPLICITLY showing ROMANTIC love and go ''i like how even when they're friends they're close <3'' i will just block them. Maybe that's petty and overreacting but queer people are being erased left and right and i won't entertain this thinly veiled bull.

[for-a-longlongtime]

Hey Anon, I saw your message this morning! 💜

You pointed out "Yall need to be careful of bi erasure" and linked to a post someone made about me. I appreciate the heads up! To be honest, I’m not concerned about people suggesting that I’m doing bi erasure. Whether it’s regarding Pedro characters in canon, head canons, or bisexuality in any other way. But hey, everybody can have their opinion about things, including what they think about me.

I dont talk much about myself here, but my tumblr bio has said from day 1 that I’m a bi woman. My master list mentions most of my fic “is queer (m/m, bi4bi, m/m/f, non-binary and trans characters)”. Folks who have read my fic know I've written pairings where every character is explicitly bi ( Frankie x f!reader x Santi; Peña x Rockford x OFC; Ezra x f!reader x Benny Miller, and WIPs with Joel and Marcus M, Frankie x f!reader x OFC and Maximus x Acacius x Lucilla).

Can bisexual people still do bi erasure? Sure!

Do I worry whether straight folks or other random folks online think I'm involved in bi erasure? Nahhh.

Anyway, I did make some posts the other day based on anons submitted to me about issues re: queer representation in this fandom. Let me just direct you to the several posts I made on that day, which started in response to a question about Renaldo:

"Was Renaldo Gay in the SNL sketch?? I've seen a lot of blogs saying he wasn't?". TL;DR version of my response: the ending of the song states "word to the wise, if you've got wives, hide them from the three bros!" suggesting that Renaldo, Domingo, and Santiago all hook up with women/wives. Considering Renaldo hooked up with Matthew, that probably makes him bisexual (and not the fact that he had Sophie, aka Sabrina's character, dancing up on him) - or queer, or someone who doesn't like to label himself. However, while 'hide your wives' works linguistically as a great punch line to wrap up the song, it does not refer to Renaldo's affair with Matthew (now that is bi erasure, if you wanna be exact), so I did point out that 'hide your spouses' would've been more accurate - but understandably, that's not as catchy. I'm currently writing a Renaldo x Matthew one shot, and I said my headcanon has Renaldo as gay - but that's my interpretation/hc/fic.

Someone wrote to me: Some blogs in the fandom is hellbent on taking away any attention away from anything mlm based with his characters anyway so it wouldn't matter in Renaldo was gay - someone would find a loophole to make him like women. TL;DR I agreed, because there are people who definitely do that. It became part of a longer thread of reblogs with some other folks in which we talked about how Pedro's mlm (men loving men) characters, such as Oberyn, Dieter and Silva in particular, either tend to be canonized primarily as bisexual by people but in fic are almost always paired with women (f!reader or OFCs). Which is fine, but people are definitely interested in seeing more m/m representation for those characters. Someone also brought up that when Pedro characters are paired with non-binary reader inserts or OC, it tends to be mostly afab!nb (or afab!trans characters), and that they were surprised that there weren't more amab!nb characters - that's a great point too.

I made a post with an anon message that pointed out "MLM includes bi, pan and queer men. They might like women. (And/or other genders, but they still like men)". Very correct!

Finally, there was an excellent long message from an anon saying "We need more representation of bi people in same-gender relationships represented" and that even in threesomes or throuples (fic) that include two men, there should ideally be more mlm representation. Once again, I fully agree. Everybody should write whatever they want, but I do often see threesomes that are listed as Pedro Character 1 x reader x Pedro Character 2, but in the fic it's more like reader having sex with two straight men at the same time while they're trying to not cross swords, rather than mlm being represented. THIS IS DEFINITELY CHANGING THOUGH: it's wonderful to see a big increase of mlm characters in threesomes/throuple fics over the past year!

So here is my main issue with a lot of people who are raging about 'bi erasure', and why I've made several posts about queerness within this fandom (not just recently, but from the start). Of course bisexual people exist (hello, it me, for one). Pull up some statistics if you want: there are a lot more folks who identify as bisexual than there are folks who identify as gay or lesbian. I'm an older millenial, so if you wanna talk about bi erasure: the measure in which it happens today is nothing compared to the bi erasure and deeply engrained homophobia we experienced in our teens and twenties from society at large. However:

🏳‍🌈 In your rush to point out bisexuals exist, you're shutting down a much broader dialogue with people within the LGBTQIA+ community. 🏳‍🌈

Because have you noticed how gay men, nonbinary/genderqueer fans, amab!trans or amab!nonbinary FANS (not fic characters; I'm talking actual people) are extremely underrepresented in this fandom? In addition to in fic? And that these fans won't have their fiction or actual posts shared all that much? Or that when they carefully speak up, e.g. about being happy to see Pedro portray Silva as a gay character, they're immediately rebuffed and called biphobic or that they're trying to erasure bisexuality?

Yeah. That part.

It's messed up.

Nobody is even making demands. Nobody is even saying "what writers are doing is wrong". They're just saying, "This is a bummer". And some of us are pointing out that mlm Pedro characters in m/m pairings are hard to come by, which is too bad because it's not only us queers who read m/m Pedro character pairings - there are lots of straight fans out there who have indicated they like reading that, too.

Are you gonna call that bi erasure? Or marginalization of women? Or anything really except for what it actually is? Fans are just saying "yknow, I wish there were more fans/fic characters/bodies in fic represented in this fandom that look and feel more like me". People seem to have finally understood that in varying degrees when this applies to body type or racial/cultural background (which took many white people a lot longer to fully grasp; BIPOC folks have been saying this for such a long time already) - it's about diversity and wanting to feel included. But when gay or transfolks say this about mlm, a whole bunch of y'all are crying bi erasure?

In short (and I can't believe I need to even fuckin' say this):

The Pedro fandom or its fic does NOT belong exclusively to women.

It does not belong to cis folks, to straight people, or any other particular group of people.

Aren't we all just trying to be a community? Then stop acting like people reading Silva or Renaldo (or any other character) as gay are erasing bisexuality - that's not the case or the damn point.

And anon-- my critique truly isn't directed at you, I'm not dragging you in any way. You took the effort to bring something to my attention, plus you clearly care about people, and I appreciate that a lot. But there are tons of people who don't dare to speak up about this in public settings, so I can't help but take this opportunity to not only clarify what I said earlier -- but also to address the bigger problem at large. Read or write all the gossip blogs you want, by all means, but maybe also consider using that time to actually connect with people.

[inspired-lesson-plans]

So this activity is clearly meant to be for elementary school students, such as this 5th grade standard

6.1.5.CivicsPI.6: Distinguish the roles and responsibilities of the three branches of the national government

But... I think I've got one better.

⁜

Social Studies, High School, Civics

6.1.12.CivicsPI.14.b: Use case studies and evidence to evaluate the effectiveness of the checks and balances system in preventing one branch of national government from usurping too much power during contemporary times

Do Now:

Form small groups and discuss the following graphic. Is this an accurate statement? What do you think these four pixelated vegetables are supposed to represent? Is this Hispanic erasure? Why were Japanese Americans singled out among all Asian Americans?

Class Discussion:

Students share their responses to the Do Now.

Then, teacher shows the instructions for the original assignment, and take a moment to discuss just how nineties it is. Show them the intro to Saved By the Bell, or play "We Like to Party (The Vengabus)", then ask your students if they have ever had to assign roles for a group project.

Discuss how awful it feels to be given the Graphic Designer role, where you wind up doing everything the Project Manager tells you to, and then he goes off to play Pogs with the Artist, who printed out a clipart tricycle and called it a day, and the Presenter, who has no real responsibilities and yet half of your grade rests on whether or not they are going to freeze when they have to do public speaking for the first time.

Discuss similarities and differences between this and the real workplace. Perhaps explain that Dilbert was very popular in the nineties; that people used to think Scott Adams was very clever for making these kinds of observations in the years before he fell in with the Neo-Nazis.

Modeled Activity:

Explain the concept of malicious compliance, in which individuals act according to the letter of the law while deliberately ignoring the law's real intention.

Demonstrate how to interpret the instructions of this project in bad faith.

For example,

The three branches of government under the Constitution are like three interlocked gears...

because:

They aren't doing what they were designed to do.

Each element is held back from being able to actually do anything by the other two.

If any element does try to act, then it will result in chaos.

Higher Order Learning:

Student groups have 1-2 days to complete their own maliciously compliant poster. Encourage them to serve up a really hot take on their perceived flaws in the US government. Do not assign group project roles; in the modern workplace, what matters is that the project gets done.

⁜

Bonus Activity:

ELA, Grade 4, Figurative Language

L.VI.4.3. Demonstrate understanding of figurative language, word relationships, and nuances in word meanings.

Do Now:

Is the figurative language in this sentence a metaphor or a simile?

"The three branches of government under the Constitution are like a musical band"

Do you think that the people writing your social studies lessons should be able to answer this question correctly?

Sidenote, while writing this lesson, I wanted to know what history standards were like in the nineties, so I did a little research and found the following:

While there are no national standards on history education, it is not for lack of trying. In the 1990s, Lynne Cheney was leading the National Endowment for the Humanities and greenlit funding to develop such standards. A team of history scholars developed standards that were criticized for placing too much emphasis on the history of marginalized world populations, derided as a liberal rewriting of history, and ultimately condemned by a 99-1 vote of the U.S. Senate.[x]

Do not look backward seeking a Golden Age; the glow of history is nothing more than rose-tinted trash fire.

I was going through some old papers at my dad's house today and found this shitpost of a school assignment I was apparently given in 4th grade

[2isted-chocol8-art]

question about time buddies cus im curious: 1) are they dating in the comics you make? they kiss and cuddle and be cute, but like are they together together? and 2) how did they get together, if so? like how did they confess? or did it just happen? basically im asking what are ur headcannons for how they start smooching? i lovelovelove all the time buds art youve made and the thought just came up that, well, theyve gotta start kissing somehow yknow?

Ohhh this is gonna be a very fun ask to answer where I'll pour a bunch of headcanons, so buckle up!!

I haven't yet settled on how I picture hearthian relationships, but I know that I want to make them kinda fluid. That is, relationships aren't strictly divided in platonic and romantic, it's normal and accepted to have crushes in friends, or to make out and sleep with people without romantic feelings involved. Each hearthian has their own preferences too, and since their population is quite small, there isn't a set standard. Some people choose to be exclusive, others don't. Some have many romantic experiences, others have none. For some, romance and sex are linked, while for others it is not. And since everyone is different in this regard there are not societal expectations on this, you can kinda go and try whatever works for you.

For hatchy, they are still figuring themself out and they were experimenting before the loop. They don't fully distinguish between romantic and platonic affection, the line is kinda blurred for them. Meanwhile, while Gabbro does make that distinction and they've have a few previous crushes, they're pretty open to making out with friends without the need for romantic feelings. Gabbro usually puts the focus on the other person's preferences, in that sense.

And so, are they dating? Honestly you can interpret them as you like, and I encourage people to see them as dating if they want, or not if they don't want to. You can even see them as strictly friends in some drawings and as dating in others, I don't really want you guys to follow my 'canon', in that sense.

For me personally though, I think that since they're in a time loop, they don't really bother with defining their relationship. They're the only conscious ones in the loop, they like to spend time together, they sometimes make out, but they arent technically dating, that label doesn't really make sense in the loop, right? From outside, I'd say it's close to a friends with benefits situation.

I also like to think that, in my post-loop comics, this relationship would start to get more defined with time, mostly because they're living back into a society and it kinda forces them to think about what they want regarding each other. I haven't thought much about the details, but I feel that although their dinamic doesn't change much compared to what they had in the loops, they do start having some 'dating' dynamics (they set limits regarding phisical affection with others, manage jelaousy situations, expect to spend more time together, etc,).

And in regards to your second question, how did they get together? I think that they become friends only after the loops starts (they never really hung out before) and they gradually become closer. Then, after the touch starvation and isolation starts becoming unbearable, they start smooching and making out mostly as a consequence of that absence, an attempt to search for that connection. This obviously makes it all the more intense and they end up kind of attached to the hip for a time (codependency my beloved). But again it's all kinda casual and very gradual, there is not a set moment where everything starts and they don't bother defining it either. It's mostly a matter of 'hey, this feels nice, let's keep doing it".

If I'm being honest I picture this starting as in "Next Time" or "Got Weird", thise fics perfectly capture the essence of how I think anything would start between these two in-loop sksksk.

And I think that's all? Thank you so much for this ask, it was a blast talking about all of this! I have a lot of headcanons for these two, and although I encourage you all to interpret my drawings as you like, I love talking about all of this!

[namgyunation]

Do you see Nam-gyu introducing his s/o to drugs or do you think he’d be the type to shield you from that type of thing?

cw; talking about drug usage and unhealthy stuff here

mmmm based off of my interpretation of him, i don’t think he’d really try to “shield” you. just doesn't seem like something he'd do

i also don't think he would gaf if you knew about his substance abuse. you're his s/o. if you're with him, he's prob thinking "this is what you signed up for when you got with me." i could see him hiding it from his family, but not you.

with a job like his, it'd be pretty hard to hide, anyways. if anything, i think he'd try to at least hide or be vague about the intensity of the drugs he takes and just how addicted / dependent he is on them. he'd probably try to convince you that it's just something casual that he does or brush you off if you display any concern

i could see him wanting to keep the details of his drug usage off your radar, but not because he’s like. concerned that he’ll be a bad influence or rub off on you, or anything. nor would he do it with the intent of trying to protect you or keep you "innocent" / drug-free.

i don’t think he’d enthusiastically be like “here baby, snort this!!! take this pill!!! ❤️” out of nowhere or straight from the jump when he enters a relationship with his s/o. he also doesn’t seem like the type of dude to go out of his way to share what drugs he’s taking or even just his emotions in general. he seems like he’d be very closed off and be more than happy to keep that part of his life from you if you never asked / pushed the issue.

i think he’d just want to avoid his s/o giving him a hard time: asking too many questions about what he’s doing, how it’s affecting him, his health, their finances, and their relationship, and/or trying to get him to stop. he just wants to do what he wants while still keeping you in his life. he doesn't want you to complicate or overdramaticize things with your concern. he knows what hes doing and can handle himself.

but i think if you expressed any sort of interest or vague curiosity, he might initially be shocked, find it amusing, and be surprisingly interested in the idea of introducing you to something, jokingly offer to get you stuff, though he genuinely would if you just straight up asked him to do so.

i think he’d find it interesting / somewhat exciting to see your first-time reactions to things and would find himself enjoying it more than he expected to somewhere along the way, though i don’t think he’d force it on you. if you wanted to stop, he would be cool with that and drop it immediately. it doesn't matter to him whether or not you do drugs or are on the same page as him. he's doing his thing, and you're doing yours. he wouldn't mind and would be just as open to it if you were to ask him about it again later down the line, though.

if you asked him to give you something and lead you through it, i think he’d derive some sort of enjoyment from knowing a lot about something that you don’t, being your sole source of information on the topic, and knowing he's the first and only person that you experience those types of things with.

i could see him being an obnoxious ass trip-sitter just because he thinks it's funny / even getting some sort of ego because of it.

eg. if you start off with weed, he’s laughing at you for coughing, not knowing how to inhale right, and/or making a stupid, exaggerated face when you exhale. when you overestimate your tolerance and get high as fuck, he’s purposefully putting stupid shit on the tv to gauge your reaction (maybe some dumb children’s cartoon or compilation of idk. plants growing timelapse), laughing at you when you're super focused on it (not mean, just teasing / amused), and maybe he takes a few selfies with you to tease you about it later. he would smoke with you, too, but purposefully stays mostly sober so he can take care of you. also, his tolerance is naturally way higher than yours, and i think he'd find it funny if you got high extremely quick.

he says shit like "oh, i invited your entire family and also a hundred of your friends over to the apartment, and they're outside right now. i hope you don't mind" just to get a funny reaction out of you.

he's not entirely mean, though, and despite having his fun, he still wanted to make sure that your experience was good and comfortable from the get-go. he thought ahead and set out snacks and drinks for when you inevitably got the munchies / dry mouth. he has a line up of funny things to watch and a blanket set out to make sure that you're fine. he doesn't leave you alone. even though it's just weed, he doesn't want to scare you.

he feels good and pats himself on the back for taking care of you. he probably enjoys knowing that in that moment, you're completely depending on him and looking at him like he has all the knowledge in the world. he deeply enjoys the fact that you trust him enough to rely on him and trust that you'll come out of the experience okay, because he's there.

nowww, getting on to other drugs outside of weed, i could see him being more serious about it and wanting to make sure that you're okay. he's open and more than happy to provide you with the things you're showing interest in. sharing his knowledge that's completely foreign and new to you and bringing you into 'his world' is satisfying for him, but once it starts to get a little more dodgy / serious, he's very firm on asking you if you're sure and asks a lot more questions. "what are you feeling?" "what do you see?" "do you need water?" "tell me what's going on." etc. he doesn't completely coddle you, but he's not going to leave you alone, either.

also, i was obsessed with breaking bad in middle school LMAO, so it's leaking into this post... sometimes when i think about nam-gyu, i can't help but think about jessie pinkman. there's a particular scene in the show where jessie's gf, jane, introduces him to heroin for the first time, and i think i could see nam-gyu being like jane in this particular scene, with jessie being his s/o that he's introducing shit to.

over time, if you continued to express clear, enthusiastic interest and prove to him that you could handle it, i think that's when he'd finally let himself relax and do drugs with you, rather than staying sober to monitor you. i think he'd grow accustomed to doing things with you, almost falling into a routine or having it be "your thing." he'd sneak things from work that other people gave to him or things that he was supposed to be giving to VIPs and bring it home to share with you. he'd find that getting high with you specifically was more fun for him than when he did it with others.

ending it off with something somewhat lighthearted: after a while, nam-gyu realizes that he's actually kind of excited to have a long-term buddy to get high with. he would start suggesting that the two of you smoke a joint and then go to the aquarium, art gallery, the zoo, etc. if he got something new, he wouldn't let himself try it and wait until he got home to be with you.

tldr; i don't think he'd shield you, but he wouldn't be super open about it either if you didn't ask or push him to talk about it. if you asked him to introduce you to it, he'd find himself oddly excited by the idea. he'd do it but would make sure to keep you comfortable and ask you over and over if you were sure once you got to the more serious shit. he wouldn't push it, either, in the case that you wanted to stop or were uncertain.

[maul-of-shame]

Just popping up to give my two cents on everything going on- [TROP Edition]

The TROP fandom is vast, passionate, and filled with people who care deeply about Tolkien’s world. Whether we’re here for the lore, the characters, the worldbuilding, or simply the joy of engaging with a new interpretation of Middle-earth, we all share one thing: love for this universe.

And yet, for weeks and even months now, it’s become increasingly clear that some corners of this fandom have been struggling under the weight of harassment, dogpiling, and outright cruelty—all over fictional characters and differing interpretations.

I want to take a moment to say this clearly: No matter where you stand on ships, theories, headcanons, or canon interpretations, harassment is never okay.

Disagreeing with someone’s take? That’s fine.

Engaging in discussion? Encouraged!

But targeted harassment, bullying, sending threats, or trying to force others out of a space just because they don’t align with your views? That’s not just toxic—it’s unacceptable.

I have my own opinions, and I’m open about them. There are ships I don’t personally like, and I have my reasons for that, which I’ve spoken about before. There are interpretations of characters I don’t agree with. But having a different perspective has never meant—and will never mean—that I condone or support people being attacked for their preferences.

Fiction is a space for creativity, exploration, and discussion, not a battleground where people should feel unsafe for simply enjoying a story differently. Myself, and many others have faced threats, harassment, and cruel messages—some from anonymous accounts, others from people openly creating blogs just to send hate. I’ve lost count of the number of people I’ve had to block. It’s exhausting, and it shouldn’t have to be this way.

It’s heartbreaking to see the works of Tolkien—stories that have endured for generations, built on themes of resilience, friendship, and the fight against darkness—be tarnished by those who have no regard for basic decency. Tolkien’s world was never about cruelty, exclusion, or tearing others down; it was about hope, about standing together even in the face of overwhelming odds. And yet, some have twisted this fandom into something unrecognizable, using it as a weapon to attack, belittle, and harass others. It goes against everything these stories stand for, and it’s disheartening to watch a space that should bring joy and inspiration be turned into something toxic by those who refuse to respect others.

It’s okay to severely dislike a ship. It’s okay to find it uncomfortable, problematic, or simply not to your taste. It’s okay to critique the way a relationship is portrayed, to analyze its dynamics, and to express why you don’t engage with it. Fiction is meant to be discussed, interpreted, and even debated. But what is not okay is taking that personal dislike and turning it into targeted harassment against the people who create for that ship. Disliking a fictional pairing does not justify sending cruel messages, threats, or attempting to drive people out of a space just because their interests don’t align with yours.

No one is obligated to like what you like, just as you are not obligated to like what they do.

The solution is simple—curate your own space. Block, filter, and move on. Engage with what brings you joy instead of wasting time spreading hate. Fandom is meant to be an escape, a place to create, share, and find community. No one should have to feel unsafe or unwelcome simply because their creative expression doesn’t match someone else’s preferences.

To those who have been on the receiving end of hate, know that you are not alone. Your love for the characters, your creativity, and your enthusiasm for this world are valid.

No one has the right to police how you engage with fiction, nor do they have the right to dictate what you can and cannot enjoy. If you need to step back for your own well-being, that’s completely okay. If you need to block, curate your space, or disengage from toxic discussions, do so.

Your mental health matters more than proving a point to people who refuse to engage respectfully.

Fandom spaces should be a refuge, a place where we share excitement, ideas, and headcanons, not a place of stress and hostility. If you see someone being targeted, offer support. If you notice someone being worn down by negativity, remind them that their voice and presence are valued. Small acts of kindness—reblogging someone’s work, leaving a nice comment, sending a supportive message—go a long way in making fandom a better place for everyone.

At the end of the day, The Rings of Power is a show. Middle-earth, as much as it means to us, is a fictional realm. We engage with it because it brings us joy, because it inspires us, because it connects us to something greater.

But no story, no ship, no character, and no headcanon should ever come before basic human decency.

Your space in this fandom is valid, and I hope you find the support and peace you deserve.

Stay safe, take care of yourselves, and let’s do better.

[waitineedaname]

Well, if you insist!

This isn't technically a milfzun essay, but rather part of a larger analysis I've been working on about gender and scum villain, but I've lovingly titled this subheading Gender and Whatever The Fuck These Two Have Going On, and it seems relevant

Scum Villain is a book that deals quite heavily with gender a theme, and a huge part of that is because Shen Qingqiu is someone who has Opinions About Gender. I think it's worth noting that as a setting, the world of Scum Villain (or, I guess, the world of PIDW that becomes SVSSS) doesn't have that much homophobia entrenched into the culture. There might be some stuff baked in there, but it is a less outright homophobic culture compared to, say, the setting of MDZS or -- more importantly -- the China of 2014 that Shen Yuan hails from. Sure, people disapprove of bingqiu's relationship for all number of reasons, but the fact that they're both men seems to be relatively low on everyone's priority list. Everyone, that is, aside from Shen Qingqiu. While the setting might not be homophobic, SQQ shows up and says "don't worry! I've brought my own!" and provides enough internalized homophobia to kill a horse

So, he spends a lot of the novel struggling with the idea of his and Binghe's relationship being a relationship between two men. His solution to this problem is "well, obviously one of us must be the woman!" His way of going about this solution? Uh... well... we'll get to that. First I'm going to cover the ways Shen Qingqiu seems to conceptualize womanhood, and the ways he tries to fit himself or Binghe into those molds. To be a Woman, in Shen Qingqiu's mind, is to fit into one of three categories: the Wife, the Maiden, and the Mother.

This is going under a read more because hoo boy, there is a lot to say

The Wife

I think we're all familiar with wifeplots at this point. They're a trope that's much beloved by the fandom and much beloathed by Shen Qingqiu. I'll try not to belabor this point too much, but the category of Wife is one that Shen Qingqiu is particularly fixated on, perhaps understandably due to the harem nature of the original novel. A Wife can be generalized to anyone romantically and/or sexually entangled with Luo Binghe in PIDW, and the wifeplots exist to thrust (ha) the wives or wives-to-be into situations with the protagonist that will advance their relationship somehow (no matter how superficially)

Shen Qingqiu starts fulfilling the wife role from pretty early on, starting with his and Binghe's first encounter with Meng Mo. With his nigh encyclopedic knowledge of the original novel, he is extremely aware of whenever he's replacing the position of a PIDW wife, whether it's when Little Palace Mistress whipping him or when Luo Binghe offers to cook for him every day. He complains about this, of course, but it is how he comes to conceptualize his narrative role, especially once he realizes Binghe is romantically interested in him. In Shen Qingqiu's mind, to be a Wife is to be Pursued, specifically pursued by the protagonist

Perhaps the most explicit time Shen Qingqiu is linked with being the Wife is in the wedding extra, when Binghe is urging him to call him something special since it's their wedding night, and he eventually gives in and calls Binghe "husband," to which Binghe responds with "wife." Interestingly, when a friend of mine was first reading SVSSS, they interpreted this bit as Binghe wishing to be called wife, which I think leads nicely into the next point...

The Maiden

Every day I log onto this website and talk about Maiden Luo, but in my defense, I haven't found the right dosage for my ADHD meds yet. The maiden point is the most relevant to my comments about Bingge and Bingmei in the original post. That extra is where SQQ makes the most comments comparing Binghe to a maiden, after all, and it's to contrast him with the original goods. There's some of SQQ's internalized homophobia and misogyny at play here. He's someone with Opinions about Gender, and Roles, and Gender Performance. A big part of that gender performance, in his eyes, is linked to the expression of emotions. All those things I pointed out about Bingmei's emotional range? Those are things that Shen Qingqiu specifically connects to femininity and being like a maiden, especially in contrast to Bingge as SQQ's idea of the masculine ideal. His Binghe is sensitive and cries and is needy, and therefore that makes him like a maiden, that makes him Bing-mei as opposed to Bing-ge

It's a little derogatory coming from SQQ. Usually when he's comparing Binghe to a maiden, it's with some grumbling, the tone of "god, he's such a girl." But as we know, SQQ is notoriously unreliable as our narrator. No matter how much he grumbles, he likes the maiden act. When he's contrasting Bingge and Bingmei, his choice is clear: the Binghe he's chosen is the sensitive, crybaby, feminine Maiden Luo

What got me started on this topic in the first place was the first time he compares Binghe to a maiden:

To push him away during this moment would be like giving a young maiden – one who’d finally worked up the courage to call and brokenheartedly weep to an older sister for comfort and encouragement – a face-turning slap. It was really a bit cruel.

(Side note: that post is what got me to finally read the freudzine, which I highly recommend if you want a more thorough analysis of the gender fuckery going on in SVSSS, as well as a lot of other interesting weird shit in this novel)

This first comparison to being like a maiden comes shortly after Shen Qingqiu first becomes aware that Luo Binghe is attracted to men, and attracted to him specifically. Again, some of that internalized homophobia definitely at play. He's finally had the big shock that Luo Binghe is gay (gasp!) and therefore he begins repeatedly commenting on Binghe's perceived femininity and comparing him to a maiden. He especially loves harping on this when Binghe is being needy and begging for attention and affirmation and affection. We're stuck in one of Shen Qingqiu's classic brain knots -- to be pursued is to be a wife, therefore Shen Qingqiu must be a wife, but to pursue Shen Qingqiu specifically is to be a maiden, so Luo Binghe must be a maiden. This is heterosexual, right? Right?

Of course, he has to make it even more of a mess in the aforementioned quote. I know he is likely using jiejie in the general "older female friend" sense as opposed to specifically "older sister" in his metaphor, but still, in his metaphor where he first teases Binghe for being a girl, he is also making himself a woman -- specifically a woman who is older than Binghe and in a position to give advice. Surely this will be the only time he makes a comment like that. Certainly he will be normal about this. Hey, what was this essay about originally? Oh right. Milfzun.

The Mother

Despite both of Luo Binghe's mothers (adopted and biological) dying before the novel even begins, their absence haunts the narrative in a big way. And what is Shen Qingqiu good at if not adopting the narrative roles of dead people? Okay that was kind of mean, but bear with me.

Shen Qingqiu assuming the role of Mother happens on several different levels. On one level are the metaphors we get treated to in his narration. There's the comparison to Cinderella and her evil step-mother when Binghe offers to cook and clean for him, and there's the bit when he compares his disciples (specifically Binghe) to chicks chasing after their mother hen. These comparisons to being like a mother are mostly played for laughs, just yet another example of the strange places Shen Qingqiu's brain goes to.

What isn't played for laughs is the narrative link between Shen Qingqiu and the washerwoman. The connection between them isn't laid out explicitly in the text, but I think the most obvious connection is that damn congee. The washerwoman was someone who provided Luo Binghe with comfort and security, to the detriment of her own health. Ingrained in his memory of her death is that congee that he did not manage to bring her before she died. Shen Qingqiu, similarly, provides Luo Binghe with comfort and security; he takes him under his wing as a favored disciple, he brings him into his home, he puts himself in danger for Binghe's sake. And that congee makes a reappearance -- when Shen Qingqiu is first poisoned by Without-A-Cure, and when Luo Binghe tends to his corpse for five years. In both cases, he makes and remakes that congee in the hopes that Shen Qingqiu will wake up and enjoy it, something that his mother couldn't do

And then, of course, we must address the specter of Su Xiyan. This is where the connection to Shen Qingqiu becomes explicit again. Narratively, tianxi and bingqiu's relationships are meant to mirror each other: the cold and righteous human cultivator who, due to the meddling of an entity more powerful than them, is forced to betray their demon lover. Even Binghe makes this connection out loud when he rejects Tianlang-jun and Su Xiyan as his parents and says he only needs Shizun. The most infamous Su Xiyan and Shen Qingqiu connection, though, is Shen Qingqiu's abortion metaphor love confession. I will never let him live down saying all this shit right after Luo Binghe's dick was in him, but absurdity aside, the emotions he's expressing are raw and clear: Su Xiyan had the choice to kill her unborn child or herself, and she chose Luo Binghe's life over her own. Shen Qingqiu knows, very well, the decision to choose Luo Binghe's life and wellbeing over his own. He has died for Binghe's sake before. He is prepared to do it again. In this scene, he understands Su Xiyan on a deep level, and this is his best idea of expressing the depths of his feelings for Binghe. Shen Qingqiu never met Su Xiyan, but he knows she must have loved Luo Binghe so much that it killed her, because he feels the same. All a mother wants is to give her child the chance to grow up healthy and safe. That's all Shen Qingqiu wants too, and when the choice is Luo Binghe's life or his own, he will choose Binghe's life over his own again and again

So, let's review. To be pursued is to be a Wife. To do the pursuing is to be a Maiden. To love so deeply it kills you is to be a Mother.

There's... a lot of things to unpack here about SQQ's ideas about gender. I could take this to a lot of different conclusions. I'll try to restrain myself. I'll just end on this: of the three categories of womanhood, the one that SQQ really seems to claim for himself is the Mother. The role of Wife is somewhat thrust (haha) upon him, and he grumbles about it the whole time. The Maiden is much more Binghe's role than his own, something that he teases him for and feels a great deal of affection about. The Mother, however, is a role that comes as almost second-nature to Shen Qingqiu. Sure, he's a little self-conscious about it sometimes, but he's self-conscious about literally everything. The performance of this role, however, seems to be something he enjoys. He enjoys doting on Binghe, he takes pride in seeing him grow up, and he repeatedly makes that mother's sacrifice for Binghe's sake

So, yes. Milfzun rights. That mommy kink is definitely mutual. Now the next step is to introduce them to xianxia HRT and remove the pretenses

I probably love scum villain the most out of all the mxtx novels specifically because it deals with gender the most out of all of them. The criticism of hypermasculinity is probably the strongest part, but I do also just enjoy maiden-hearted Bingmei and mommy Shen Qingqui. I just think they’re neat.

FOR REAL!!!! the theme of gender in svsss is so goddamn compelling. I love how much of the contrast between pidw and svsss is that the hypermasculine power fantasy doesn't allow for "feminine" things like vulnerability, and to be a Man™️ is to fuck and kill and conquer. This feels like a "well duh" moment but bingge is a clear example of the way toxic masculinity harms men. He might have achieved everything that's expected of him aa the masculine ideal, but he's unfulfilled and unhappy because at the end of the day, those hypermasculine notions don't actually help anyone

And then in contrast we have bingmei. I know I'm harping on it all the damn time, but bingmei's contrast with bingge is so important to me, especially when that biggest difference -- the thing that's indicative of his relative femininity -- are his emotions. Bingge is the stallion protagonist. He's not allowed to express emotions outside of what that role dictates: he is allowed to be cool and bloodthirsty and seductive, and not much else. Meanwhile it's not like bingmei isn't capable of of those same emotions. He's definitely cool and bloodthirsty on occasion. But he's also allowed a more full range of emotions outside the constraints of masculinity. He's allowed to be tender-hearted and sensitive, he cries to get what he wants and he cries to express genuine emotion, he's allowed to be vulnerable with shen qingqiu if no one else. He's allowed the full spectrum of emotion, both traditionally masculine and traditionally feminine, and it allows him to be more complete. No longer the shallow stallion protagonist, but a whole person. The person shen qingqiu fell in love with

And then don't get me started on mommy shizun, this post is already long enough and if I get into milfzun we'll be here all night

[sigurdjarlson]

I always found that sweet how a lot of the time in TLG Med would jump to reassure Khadgar or even apologize after snapping at him

And yet in some ways the cruelest thing Medivh said to Khadgar in my opinion was correcting him when he called Karazhan “Our Tower.” And reminding him he was there at his whim and he could send him away at any time.

And he never did apologize for that one and honestly I don’t really blame Med for that per se? It is his tower and Khadgar can’t tell him who is allowed there. What I mean is going by JUST the power dynamic they have as mentor-apprentice, Khadgar is absolutely out of line there

In some ways could have come off quite spoiled and entitled but the thing is I don’t think that was the case at all.

He’s become so comfortable in Karazhan he’d started thinking of it as his home. Then Medivh has in one conversation reminded him it very much was not his home and he could send him away at anytime if he so wished it

He’d finally found someone who cared about him, respected him and treated him as a person. He found a place where he felt he belonged for once in his life and…

No wonder he was so jealous of Garona for a while after that. He’d been reminded that all of it could be taken from him at any moment and here was someone stealing his Master’s attention.

Just thinking about how that jealousy so obviously comes with feeling like he’s not enough and insecurity about his place in Med’s life.

Just very interesting how I think it could very well have went over Med’s head as not that big of a deal too? One of those things he’d be like huh oh yeah I said that? Meanwhile Khadgar is spiraling about it

He could of also been absolutely aware of how harsh it was because Medivh does lash out like that on occasion (especially towards the end of the book as Sargeras gets harder and harder to fight) he can be a little shit we know this

(Don’t really blame him for that given being possessed by the demon lord Sargeras is probably just a teensy bit tiring /s)

Also seen valid and honestly very possibly canon interpretations where he’s also trying to push Khadgar away cuz he knows what’s coming and what Khadgar is going to have to do.

The more attached to him he is the more difficult it will be for Khadgar to do what needs to be done.

What better way to push someone away then hit them right where it hurts?

And yet even then I think those words hurt Khadgar deeper than he’ll ever know :(

[knifearo]

i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a binary i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a sliding scale of "less" to "more" i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the only two options i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as significantly different things i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as all encompassing i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the two halves of a shallow concept of love that doesn't actually encompass anything at all i think we need to overhaul every popular conception about "types" of love so we can talk about things that are real and true for once

[marzipanandminutiae]

My Dark Ship Is Morally Fine Actually; Your Dark Ship Is Icky And Gross And You're A Bad Person For Shipping It will never not be a hilarious take to me

like we're both here at the devil's sabbath my guy. you're just embarassing yourself

[akatsuki-tia]

"i can see now how the og post might come across otherwise, but it never was about going "why doesn't the 10th gen care about tsuna??" or anything lol." @hopeswriting

Woops. I didn't actually mean it like that if you’ll believe it. It was more of general statement to answer my own diss on their emotional intelligence and people’s negative sentiment on the way they treat Tsuna’s wishes in general.

But yeah, I do have a good idea of your opinion on the 10th Gen. I’m pretty sure I’ve read every single one of your posts and your Ao3 fanfics on the subjects. And I absolutely loved them. I think your thoughts influenced my own interpretation of them a lot over time.

"like, there's this subtle power dynamic between each other, you know?"

Yeah, I do know. It’s like- a sense of responsibility, you could say? That Tsuna has toward them. He feels responsible for them, for their happiness, their safety, in a different way they feel responsible for his. If anything, the responsibility component in the 10th gen’s wish of happiness and safety for Tsuna is way lesser than Tsuna’s own. Though that doesn’t mean their wish is any less strong for it. And that gap in the sense of responsibility that colors their relationship, leader to subordinate, Sky to Guardian, even as they remain friends and family as well, it influences the direction their actions will take. Nuances the love they share. At least, that’s how I see it.

"but the 10th gen? there's no universe where letting go of tsuna can ever be an option. which also means that they have to do anything they can so tsuna won't be the one to let go of them first, forcing their hands. and if it means it leaves them with only two options to fight for his happiness to the bitter end, either making his pain a little easier to bear by never letting him know the true extent of their own, or letting him know he isn't in this fight alone but watching him hurt even more for it, is it any surprise at all they made the choice they did?"

Yes. You get it. That’s exactly it. I’m glad I was able to get my thoughts across.

"the love makes it worse but it's good enough the end of the road will be loving if nothing else. it's all that matters, even. they don't need it to be anything else but loving."

Yes, yes yes. Love was the beginning, and it’ll be the end, because what else could it be? When it’s the most precious thing they hold, when it’s the whole reason, when it’s the whole point? It’s the love they found, the love they’ll cradle and fight for and bleed for, till the bitter end. This love is the answer to their struggle, the source and reward of their pain.

It's no choice at all really, when it’s drinking the poison or dying from the thirst.  

[ID: Three panels from the manga Katekyo Hitman Reborn, showing Gokudera Hayato, Sasagawa Ryohei and Yamamoto Takeshi. They say “Woah—!!”, with bright and happy faces while smiling widely. /End ID]

this is their reaction to reborn letting them know about the upcoming inheritance ceremony, and it made me think of that ask i got about how frustrating it can be that the 10th gen seemingly has no problem being/becoming mafia even if it’s the last thing tsuna wants. and i actually didn’t remember this scene, but seeing this it’s only fair to wonder if they do, in fact, even care about tsuna not wanting to become mafia, yeah.

but honestly this reaction feels kind of off to me? and a bit–well, not necessarily ooc, but also not the type of reaction the natural progression of the story should have led to, because they’re literally right out of the future arc here, and we all know how that one went. tho gokudera is one thing because being mafia is all he’s ever known, and becoming vongola, let alone the leaders of vongola and all that it implies, is the best thing and happiest ending that can happen to him, and he still projects that on tsuna and assumes he must feel the same, but yamamoto? whose dad was killed in the future because he was mafia? who was forced to give up on baseball (i.e. his civilian life), even if it was only temporary, so he could give his best trying to make things right again? and ryohei who was so mad (and scared) about tsuna involving kyoko in the mafia any more than she had to to the point he punched him?

like, even putting aside tsuna altogether and how they should care to take into account his wishes on the matter, why would they be happy with the prospect of officially becoming mafia? tho the way the scene is framed they’re solely being happy for tsuna here, and still the question remains because why would they be? don’t they know tsuna at all??

(and not quite relevant, but it’s interesting that hibari’s reaction isn’t shown, and in fact he disappears from the conversion entirely from this point onwards. and i know it’s likely just hibari being hibari and not considering himself part of the group and so not considering himself concerned by any of this but like… interesting.)

[puppppppppy]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

[altschmerzes]

getting real tired of people who are shitting on “found family” more generally as a narrative concept and specifically named familial dynamics in fan interpretation of characters in particular because it all seems to be getting painted with a really wide and really homogenous brush. “we need to take found family away from people because they think it all has to be In Nuclear Family Terms and do you know friendship exists and you don’t have to call these characters siblings to legitimize their relationship while making it clear you Don’t Ship Them Ew Gross and THEN you sneer at people who Do ship them” cool cool that is a lot of really intense characterization and assigning of motive to other people en bloc!

like sure there’s some meaningful critique to be found in a broad trend to label every single relationship directly and specifically with terms that have very specific contexts and roles but im waiting to be told when anyone IS by the standards of people making and reblogging these very sweepingly generalized posts allowed to call a relationship parental or whatever. is that Ever allowed. who is handing out the permits. sometimes a specific term for a relationship isn’t actually about wanting an excuse to sneer about your ship (and frankly there’s a lot of projection going on there imo from people who are actively sneering about other people’s interpretation of a relationship!) and it’s because there are very specific contexts and details about a dynamic that makes exploring it from the lens of siblings or whatever very rich and compelling and interesting because words mean things and assuming everyone is just being reductive and demanding conformity to a nuclear family is, ironically, really reductive.

so like. cool it. stop being really fucking mean about people having an interpretation of a dynamic you personally don’t like or makes you feel a little weird or uncomfy because you ship them.

[thatswhatsushesaid]

currently thinking about just how much su minshan was willing to sacrifice--of himself, and of other people who relied on and trusted in him--to protect jin guangyao

goes 2 my knees, clutches my hair

[nathaylee]

“Hello, Jenny,” the man said. There was a strange emphasis to how he spoke such simple words – and, hang on –

Jenny sat up. “How do you know my name?” she asked suspiciously. The harmonies of the hum deepened as Laser Grid Girl also looked at the man askance.

“Oh, you might say I know your dad,” he laughed…

~~~~

Ruby’s in the middle of saving the inhabitants of the Moon of Praxis – just a typical adventure with the Doctor – when a mysterious stranger swoops in to help. When the Doctor learns who she is, he’s determined to get her back where she belongs.

hello I'm alive I think???? and my interest in Doctor Who has been roused from its slumber?????? Russell absolutely got me by bringing Tate and Tennant back (and has been killing it ever since)

[sonknuxadow]

it's so wild to me that people talk like sonic and knuckles just now started acting gay in frontiers or that the sonknux ship only exists because of frontiers theyve been gay this whole TIME you just refused to admit it until now