#be real you do not care about friendship lmao you can just dismiss it more easily and comfortably

[altschmerzes]

getting real tired of people who are shitting on “found family” more generally as a narrative concept and specifically named familial dynamics in fan interpretation of characters in particular because it all seems to be getting painted with a really wide and really homogenous brush. “we need to take found family away from people because they think it all has to be In Nuclear Family Terms and do you know friendship exists and you don’t have to call these characters siblings to legitimize their relationship while making it clear you Don’t Ship Them Ew Gross and THEN you sneer at people who Do ship them” cool cool that is a lot of really intense characterization and assigning of motive to other people en bloc!

like sure there’s some meaningful critique to be found in a broad trend to label every single relationship directly and specifically with terms that have very specific contexts and roles but im waiting to be told when anyone IS by the standards of people making and reblogging these very sweepingly generalized posts allowed to call a relationship parental or whatever. is that Ever allowed. who is handing out the permits. sometimes a specific term for a relationship isn’t actually about wanting an excuse to sneer about your ship (and frankly there’s a lot of projection going on there imo from people who are actively sneering about other people’s interpretation of a relationship!) and it’s because there are very specific contexts and details about a dynamic that makes exploring it from the lens of siblings or whatever very rich and compelling and interesting because words mean things and assuming everyone is just being reductive and demanding conformity to a nuclear family is, ironically, really reductive.

so like. cool it. stop being really fucking mean about people having an interpretation of a dynamic you personally don’t like or makes you feel a little weird or uncomfy because you ship them.

[masterhandss]

Forbidden fruit ask time: Keith x Katarina. I know people in western fandom are understandably wary of this ship, but apparently it's one of the favourites for the Japanese audience and based on what I heard it actually has some decent foundation in novels (not as much as GeoKata, but still). Since you read novels and are #1 hamefura blog on Tumblr and know so much I wanted to ask you to tell us how KeiKata is doing in novels if it's okay owo??

owo!! lmao, I don't know about being the "#1 hamefura blog on tumblr" (I-I... I thought I was an art blog... :')) I mean I just like to ramble about hamefura lmao but I'm always happy to answer questions!

Yeah... Keith x Katarina is a hard subject to talk about considering how violent reactions can be depending on who you're talking to. I remember when Season 1 was airing, people really doesn't like Keith as a romantic option for Katarina due to them being siblings, and I'm honestly waiting for those people to react to the S2 OP and S2 in general. I've talked to a few people who don't like KeiKata at all, and they have the absolute right to dislike any ship that they want, but it did make me sad to know how much Keith is hated by the EN Fandom considering how loved he is in the JP Fandom. He's pretty much the most favorite male character and the second most shipped with Katarina.

-> hamefura x(s2) & ln spoilers ahead <-

A lot of people's issues with Keith stems from the fact that he and Katarina are step-sibling and that it's really weird for Keith to be romantically interested in Katarina (a person who sees him as a little brother completely). People are accusing him of taking advantage of Katarina's trust in him to keep her to himself and that pursuing her romantically would destroy the familial bond that they've had for years. The thing is that Keith treasures Katarina as a person, not as a sibling. Yes, Keith sees her as family, but he also sees her as more than family. To him, being able to be together with Katarina doesn't mean that he'll have to love her differently, but that he will be able to love her even more deeply and honestly. You can even headcanon that the reason Keith calls Katarina "big sister" is because he's asked to do so, and because it's a symbol of his acceptance into the family, but maybe not necessarily how he sees her.

Some of the material that will be covered in Season 2 is about Keith, so I don't know how much I want to talk about that since most fans will be able to see it themselves. Keith has it the hardest because his position makes it so that he's the least likely to get his feelings across to Katarina due to their relationship. In one of the upcoming arcs in the anime, Keith will be able to break Katarina's baka shield in the same way Geordo does: by using actions instead of words, and by just literally finding the courage to take the risk and tell her.

That's where one of the interesting things about hamefura comes into play: one of the reasons why people dislike KeiKata so much is that they feel like the reveal of Keith's feelings would awaken disgust and betrayal in Katarina. Few fanfics of hamefura portray it that way, that Katarina would be weirded out by his feelings and reject them immediately. Maybe it's because Katarina is aware of Keith as not only a sibling, but also as a romance-able character in an otome game (also because of the nature of this series lmao), that in canon, she doesn't take his confession negatively and is flushed/embarrassed by it just like Geordo's confession. I know the "weirded out" reaction is the most realistic, but maybe Katarina also understands that their relationship doesn't have a clear label. They care for each other very much and whether that bond is romantic, familial or friendship isn't something they bothered to really name, maybe? Lmao I don't know, that last bit is just speculation on my part, I can't exactly get into Katarina's head and pinpoint what she thought of Keith's confession.

If I'm being honest, she forgets about Keith's confession more often than she does Geordo, mostly because nothing really changed after he made his feelings clear. I wouldn't say that she dismissed it, it's just that she's forgetting it because in her perspective being loved as a woman and as family by Keith both means that he'll take care of her and shower her with attention (aka no difference).

When I think about how "KeiKata is doing in the novels", for some reason the first thing that comes to my mind is the line "how they treated Geordo in the anime, from a JP perspective". I know that sounds confusing, but what I mean is that a lot of Arc 2 - FL2 scenes with KeiKata is kinda fanservice (aka the thing they tried to do for Geordo in the anime which worked for JP fans but made him hated by the EN fans) (not me trying to insert Geordo in a post about Keith hehe :V). Excluding all the Keith scenes that are coming in Season 2 of the anime and the current arc of the manga, the story really likes to test Keith's self-control when it comes to seeing Katarina as a woman.

Keith's scenes with Katarina aren't necessarily "hot and spicy" by any means, but people nowadays tend to be quite bothered and annoyed at typical japanese romance tropes being played out in modern anime series (such as bed-pining, surprised kisses and kabedons). I mean yeah I'd be bothered too if someone pulled those moves on me in real life, but for the japanese audience this is what their fanservice is like so that's the kind of stuff we'll see in hamefura. Just like Geordo, Keith is given a few scenes where he's put in a romantic spot with Katarina after he confessed, but it always just ends with him backing out and hoping that it at least could remind Katarina of how he sees her (like bed-pinning in LN6 & affectionate touches from Katarina in LN8). A lot of hate towards Keith stems from these scenes because people sees this as a disrespect towards Katarina and the familial relationship they have. These scenes helps reinforce how Keith sees Katarina as a woman and not as a sister, but depending on who you're siding with, you're either gonna be disgusted at Keith or extremely pissed off at Katarina's lack of propriety & density.

Like, people are getting angry at Keith for being a teenage boy who is being bothered by affectionate touches from the girl he likes who is also always approaching him with only a nightgown? I mean blame the author or Keith all you want but at least put some responsibility on Katarina as well :V People are really saying "well, he shouldn't be bot and bothered by it in the first place, they are siblings! that's disgusting!" well again, Keith sees her as a woman and Katarina needs to be aware that she shouldn't be so touchy with the opposite sex regardless if it's family. Keith kinda blames Katarina for the way he feels given how she acts around him despite being unaware of his feelings, which is also the cause of some hatred towards Keith.

People are saying that Keith is dumping *all* the responsibility onto Katarina because she acts in such an affectionate way towards him, but in reality Keith feels really bad & also hates himself for being so attracted to her when she doesn't even know about his feelings. He puts a lot of blame onto himself and thinks he's just as bad as Geordo sometimes (not saying Geordo is bad, more like Keith's "idea of Geordo" being bad lmao). Keith always walks on eggshells around Katarina because he doesn't want to disrespect how he feels about her and how she feels about him. It's just sad to see people hate him for the few moments where his self-control breaks so that he can act on his honest emotion, and accuse him of abusing Katarina's trust :((

Just like Geordo, Keith has made it clear how he feels and strongly desires to pursue her romantically, but his problem of being the step-sibling is still there. I haven't gotten my own copy of JP Volume 10 yet, I feel like I just wanna wait for the EN version instead of using GT, but multiple spoilers have noted that while Keith hasn't made progress in getting approval of his feelings from Katarina's side, he's at least able to get an approval from his family. Well, by that I mean Keith has already confessed his romantic feelings about Katarina to their father Luigi, and he replied by saying that he approves of whoever Katarina chooses for herself. Keith realizes that all he needs to do is get Katarina to return his feelings. When he does, his family wont hate him, but instead he'll be able to love them and be loved in the same, yet different way.

TLDR; a lot has happened to Keith throughout the light novels. He's progressing slowly and steadily just like Geordo, and is leagues ahead compared to the other characters. He has confessed his feelings and got reassurance of his relationship with his parents. Keith and Katarina's relationship itself hasn't really changed though, but it's nice to know that Keith is at least laying the foundations for his hypothetical future with her. Katarina doesn't really think about Keith enough to be able to tell how she feels about his confession or if her opinion on him has changed at all though, so take that as either an L or a W for Keith.

Thank you for the ask! I'm sorry if this isn't as elaborate as you wanted, anon. I like Keith and Katarina but I guess it's because they aren't my bias that I don't pay too much attention to the tiny details of how Keith is written in the books qwq

[lettrespromises]

la querelle des coeurs. - kuroo, atsumu, daichi.

@luveranime​ sent a letter : ❝ Me again lmao 😂 could you do one where kuroo, atsumu and daichi’s s/o has a ex best friend and they try to take their bf away from their s/o but then their s/o like angrily lashes out? Then like a cute fluffy ending :) ❞

author’s letter : ❝ aaaaa, it’s always pleasure to see you in my inbox!! thank you so much for trusting me with all your prompts, it means the world. ooooh, i love myself some angst to fluff especially with kuroo. i hope you’ll enjoy your promised letter!

sealed with a kiss. sincerely yours, nikki. ❞

genre : kinda fluff, kinda angst. warnings : cursing, toxic friendship.

Now, now, now, Kuroo like the gorgeous scorpio he is has some kind of sixth sense when it comes to lies, basically, you could consider him as a human lie detector. This talent of his extends to being able to discern people’s true nature- given that he is someone who doesn’t trust people easily, he’s even more careful around people he doesn’t deem as trustworthy.

Truth be told, he doesn’t come as a surprise to him when you tell him that you had a succession of arguments with your best friend, to the point where you felt obligated to cut ties with them. 

You can tell from miles away that the sentence “I don’t want to say I told you so, but I told you so, kitten.” is burning the tip of his tongue, begging him to be set free so he could rub his pseudo sixth sense in your face.

From now on, Kuroo morphs into ‘super protective mode’, he just wants to protect you from any emotional harm, he knows how vicious your former best friend is, after all, he always knew.

He will walk with you everywhere, cradle you into his embrace if you feel the need to shed a couple of tears- he picks up the shattered pieces of your broken self and glues them one by one and seals them with a kiss or a heartfelt compliment.

After several days, Kuroo’s efforts and dedication to make you feel better finally sets in. Your introspection sunk in and you feel the aftereffects bloom- you feel fearless, powerful, and you came to agree with yourself on stating that you are indeed better off alone.

The plot twists in the hallways of your school- your arm is wrapped around Kuroo’s, just the way you like it. His orbs never leave you frame and anyone could tell how the gleam in his eyes reflect his love and adoration for you. 

Needless to say, his favorite time of the day was when he could have lunch with you and listen to your ramblings while observing your divine traits. However, being academically smart doesn’t prevent him from being a airhead at times : “Kitten, I totally forgot to grab myself something to drink. Will you wait for me at our spot? I’ll be quick.” “You already know where to find me then, Tetsu.”

And with that, he leaves you in the middle of the hall (but not before planting a peck on your forehead.) On his way to the vending machine, he sees none other than your former best-friend, body leaning onto said vending machine, as if they were waiting for him to come out after witnessing your discussion.

The plain expression plastered upon Kuroo’s facial expression speaks louder than a thousand words revolving around the lexical field of anger. Nonetheless, he tells himself that if he ignores them, then there will be no harm done, unless...

“Hey there, Kuroo. I knew you’d miss me! Don’t worry, baby, I missed you just as much.”

The person you once called your best friend orientates their body in a strategic way so they’re closer to Kuroo, their whole body facing him. Of course, he didn’t miss the poor attempts to get him to pay attention to them. Their whole body language screamed ‘acknowledge me.’

Kuroo remained stoic and pushed the coins inside the vending machine instead. This lack of attention only emphasized their anger and in return, their level of patience diminished gradually. But they had another ace hidden in their sleeve, and this time, attitude matched their actions- your former best friend grabbed the hem of Kuroo’s collar while their other hand was planted at the back of his neck to force him to look on what they deemed as the only important person here.

“Kuroo, baby, I’m so glad you came to see me, because let’s face it : you’re only here because you know you’d see me here. Have you finally realized that Y/N was not good enough for you? You want a real significant other, don’t you?”

If hearing the sound of their voice was disgusting enough, imagine how filthy Kuroo felt when he sensed a foreign body throw themselves on him- his skin was burning under the poisoning touch of your former best friend. 

Now, now. The ‘you’ topic was quite the sensitive one to Kuroo, given that he would and could put anyone in their place if he happened to hear a ill word about you. “I’m going to say this once : don’t play a game you can’t win so don’t say another thing about Y/N.” 

Oh, but would this stop them? Absolutely not. Their hand travelled from the back of their neck to the muscular reliefs on his chest, an area only you had the luxury you to touch and worship. “Don’t be like that, Kuroo. I know I can touch you, love you and at least I won’t fake it like Y/N does.” they concluded their sentence with a wink sent his way and Kuroo could already feel the taste of vomit invading his tastebud. 

In one sharp motion, he grabbed their wrist and yanked himself free of their intoxicating clutch. Just his luck, he thought, while your former best friend cursed silently under their breath as they saw you arrive.

“Tetsu, are you okay? What’s taking you so long?”

Oh and here it was, the pure grin which radiated nothing but pure mischief- your presence signed the end and what a beautiful ending it was for him. “Maybe you should ask them, kitten. They were rambling about how I should date them instead of you. Can you believe that bullshit?”

Your eyes darted onto a familiar frame, but just by glancing at them, you felt all the inner rage overwhelm you, including all the pain you had to go through. It was like facing your own nightmare, but you’ve never been alone to fight your battles- Kuroo has always been there by your side.

“You said what now?”

Your stare emanated nothing but pure and intense rage, your whole body language testified of your inner envy to make them choke on their own words.

“I said-...”

“If you think for a single second I’m going to let you talk, you’re dead wrong. You’ve been feeding me enough lies during all this time we were ‘friends’, and now, you’re throwing yourself on my man? You really have nothing for you, do you now? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go grab lunch with my boyfriend. I’m not sure you’ve ever heard of him but his name is Kuroo Testurou, you know, the man you’ll never get?”

Kuroo couldn’t help but to let a snicker break free from his lips, this scene was wonderful to watch. An immense wave of pride washed over him, and it struck him again, he realized for the umpteenth time how lucky he was to share his life with you.

He wrapped his arm around your waist, tugging you close to his side and delivered a peck full of love upon the flesh of your cheek. “I didn’t know you had all of this hidden in you, kitten. Not gonna lie, it’s kinda hot.” 

You playfully rolled your eyes and punched his arm as his words connected with your eardrums, “You’re so lucky I love you.”

“Don’t get it twisted, kitten, I’m lucky one here.”

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

“Are not.”

It’s safe to say that Atsumu does have a reputation that follows him around, he his the local heartthrob of his school and he secretly takes pride in that. But nothing fills his heart with pride more than being able to call you his.

Being Atsumu’s girlfriend, you are indirectly exposed to threats, insults and other acerbic remarks coming from his fangirls. Sometimes these attacks are direct like dirty talks behind your back when you’re holding his hand in the middle of the halls, and other times, it’s more subtle and the perfect example of that is how the person you used to call your best friend took advantage of your relationship status to get closer to Atsumu.

They made it clear and had no shame hiding behind their shameful shenanigans, “Did you really think I was talking to you for your personality? Get real, Y/N, I don’t care about you. I only care about your man.”

These subtle shenanigans hurt the most because they were the most vicious and purposefully hurtful, and the worst part was that they had somehow managed to become friends with Atsumu. Emphasis on the word ‘somehow.’

As per usual after school, both you and Atsumu could be found at the gym, and oh boy, did he love being able to see you everyday- not only at school but also at the gym as you were the manager of the volleyball team.

However, this time, you had quite the surprise when you entered the gym. Kita had asked all the players to gather up as he explained them the new change amongst the team : “Considering that the nationals are around the corner, the coach and I stated that it was necessary for us to hire a new manager in order for Y/N not to feel overwhelmed. Please welcome your new manager and take good care of them.” 

As his words echoed in the gymnasium, you felt your stomach sink to your heels, your mouth was set agape under the overwhelming feeling of pure disgust. Not them, out of all people. Hell, even Atsumu’s worst fangirl sounded like a better idea right now.

Of course you couldn’t blame Kita for choosing your former best friend as the new manager, but the glance Atsumu threw your way testified of how much he knew this situation was going to eat you up alive. 

After the captain dismissed everyone, Atsumu wasted no time and ran up to you, he felt the need to reassure you and make you feel at ease despite the venomous presence of your former best friend.

“Cheer up, baby, ya’ know I’m here, right? This pig isn’t gonna’ get a piece of me. Now, be a doll and gimme’ a kiss.” 

Classic Atsumu right here, but who were you to deny such a sweet request? So you did as told, and planted a kiss on his plump lips. And that’s when you could pinpoint the precise moment when your former best friend had fallen right into Atsumu’s trap.

“As your new manager, I have to say that it’s not very professional to kiss your significant other on the court. But, I mean, what else did I expect coming from Y/N?” 

Your boyfriend’s arm was protectively wrapped around your waist, tugging you closer. The root of each of his action was to protect you from the incoherent and toxic words dropping from their lips. But deep down, he knew better than to mess with you, especially when the whole team was looking at you.

“Oh, I’m sorry! Did you mean do this?”

There you went again, planting yet another kiss upon Atsumu’s lips who couldn’t help but grin at the taunting nature of your actions. Once you broke the kiss, you could feel the hot breaths of your boyfriend crashing upon your skin “That’s my girl.”

Your former best friend looked around in despair, her eyes scanned the room to seek for help, to back up her actions. Osamu let a small laugh fall free from his lips, Suna rolled his eyes so hard you thought they were going to get stuck at the back of his head, and Kita, out of all people, let out a desperate sigh. “As the captain of the team, I must inform you that it is my duty to let you know that you cannot dictate your way here, and you cannot display a clear lack of respect to Y/N.”

This time, it was their time to be dumbfounded and left in the middle of the gymnasium with their mouth set agape in pure surprise. The silence, although it was broken by a few playful laughs, was agonizing to them. 

“C’mon, new manager, tell ‘em why ya’ chose to come here.” Atsumu taunted, the smirk plastered upon his face as wide as ever, but he only found silence as an answer.

“Are you sure you don’t want to tell the rest of the team? Alright then. Maybe you should tell them how you only joined our team to flirt with Atsumu knowing very well that we’re dating, what kind of person that makes you, mh?” Each word pronounced was embedded with venom of your own, and deep down, exposing the true nature of your former best friend brought some sense of satisfaction. And thus you began reading out loud each text they had sent you, justifying their one-sided reason to join the team, only to flirt with Atsumu.

“Yeah, ya’ ain’t slick! Sorry to break it to ya’ but I ain’t into snakes.” Atsumu continued, sticking his tongue out before the still dumbfounded personification of a snake.

Pure embarrassment consumed them, the more they were staying amongst the deafening silence of their sour loss, the more they felt vulnerable and the more they realized they lost their own game. The stares of the whole team became agonizing, so agonizing that they felt obligated to leave the gym, head hung low in defeat.

“Byeee! Ya’ won’t be missed!” Your boyfriend concluded his sentence by imitating the hissing sounds of snakes, and you wondered why you were dating a man-child. Nonetheless, knowing very well he couldn’t get his hands off of you and craved for a physical touch at all times, he pressed his lips against yours once more. “I ain’t into snakes but ya’ could s-s-s-s-slide your way into my heart, baby.” and with that, Osamu hit the back of his twin’s head with a volleyball.

Maybe he deserved that.

Being the unofficial dad of the Karasuno volleyball team came with its perks, one of them was the ability to be able to discern if the people you were hanging with genuinely cared about you or not, you liked to joke around and call this his “secret dad weapon.”

Much like Kuroo, he was not one bit surprised when you told him that you had to put your friendship to an end with your former best friend. Of course, he was not angry, but in typical dad fashion, he adorned the oh so famous disappointed dad expression on his facial structure.

He told you not to overthink it, and to focus on the other friendly presences in your life such as the volleyball team or Kiyoko and Yachi, mainly because he knew he could trust them with his eyes closed, but also because he knew he would be able to make them pay if they were to hurt you.

When you started dating Daichi, you grew the habit to join him outside the gymnasium after his training, a bottle of water in your hand in case he overworked himself, which he always did. 

This time, and much to your surprise, you found a note near the doorframe leading to the gymnasium. And if you were careful enough, the slight details and the precise calligraphy hinted that said note was in fact a love note. 

You found it rather amusing at first, perhaps it was a letter dedicated to Kiyoko because this woman was the living and breathing proof that God was indeed a woman. 

But everyday, you would find yet another letter, still carefully written and decorated leaning against the doorframe. This time, however, a calligraphic ‘D.S’ framed the front of the letter. You couldn’t help but let your stare roam over the fine print of calligraphy over and over again. 

As the saying goes ‘curiosity killed the cat’, and you were no exception to that common phrase. You meticulously took the letter and unfolded it- it was so beautifully written, the details were placed strategically. It was a proof of pure love in the form of a letter. 

Then, you began reading it :  “Dear Daichi,  Words cannot do justice of how much I love you. Everything about you fascinates me- from the way you spike the ball so roughly to the small smile on your face after scoring a point. If only I could tell you how much you mean to me. Don’t worry, Y/N won’t know a thing. Come to the gymnasium tomorrow at 5 if you wish, until then, accept all my love.”

You read the letter once, then twice, then an umpteenth time until the words were embedded in your brain. You thought it was just a prank, after all, Nishinoya and Tanaka were quite the pranksters amongst the team, but the handwriting was so delicate, too delicate to be theirs. 

You could feel salty pearls coming at the brim of your eyes until they fell onto the surface of the paper, resulting in the texture of the letter now being bloated under the wetness of your tears. 

You kept your discovery under silence, you trusted your boyfriend of course, but given the additional stress brought by the nationals, you refused to distract him from his goal.

But here you were, sharply there in front of the gym at five as indicated on the letter. However, Daichi hadn’t shown up like the anonymous lover requested, he was already stretching anyway. 

Knots started to form in your stomach as you wondered who the hell had the idea to write this love letter to him, after all, it’s not as if your relationship with Daichi was kept as a secret. 

And at 5:01 precisely, your orbs felt on the figure of your former best friend who had the most victorious grin plastered upon their face. Not only these letters were meant to be read by Daichi, but by you too, their main goal was to hurt you where it stung the most.

“What the hell are you doing here? Where you the one who wrote these letters?” You spat, waving the letters between your thumb and forefinger. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I know you love to make everything about yourself but I was expecting Daichi, not you.” Although they said they were sorry, there was not one ounce of genuine compassion in their voice.

Anger got the best of you resulting in the sudden apparition of veins on your neck as the volume of your voice only increased : “Who the fuck do you think you are? Are you that desperate? If you want a reply to your letter : Daichi doesn’t even know who you are.”

Your emotions controlled each one of your actions, including the severe tone of your voice. The ruckus made its way inside the walls of the gymnasium, until Daichi and Sugawara opened the door in order to find an answer as their interrogation : what was happening outside? 

Daichi’s eyes widened when he saw your frame shaking from anger, it was so unlike you, you matched him in a way because you were always so calm and collected. His mind raced as he wondered what was the cause of this sudden switch of behavior. 

He found the answer to his question pretty rapidly as his eyes darted towards your former best friend who was still wearing that victorious grin on their facial structure. “Y/N, love, what’s going on?” he asked as his hands were draped over your shoulders, forcing you to look at him.

“Oh, hey, Daichi! Have you read the letters I left for you? I bet Y/N never wrote this kind of letters for you.” It took inhuman strength for Daichi to ignore their taunt, instead, Sugawara sent a death glare their way : “Just leave, you have no business being here.”

Sugawara’s attempt at making them leave eventually succeeded after Coach Ukai’s sudden appearance before barking on your former best friend to “get the hell out of here” and “not disturb training anymore.”

Eventually, you were left alone with Daichi, your lungs felt constricted and you struggled to breathe. The aftermath of your outburst of anger made tears run down your cheeks as you sought for comfort inside of Daichi’s loving embrace. 

The pad of his thumb brushed your tears away, planting a series of kisses upon the surface of your forehead as a silent way to tell you that he was here and he was not going to let you go.

“Listen, love, I don’t know what happened and we will talk about it whenever you feel ready. But promise me one thing, never doubt of my love for you. Could you do that for me, Y/N?”

You simply nodded against his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat kept the haunting thoughts in your head at bay. “I love you so much, Y/N, so, so much.” he whispered, concluding his sentence with a kiss left on your lips.

If only he knew how much you loved him. 

[marvelfansince08love]

Dream Girl

Word Count: 2546

Pairing: Oceans 8 Tammy x Fem!Reader 

Prompts: 8 “You think I’m beautiful?” and 39 “ “Go fuck yourself.” “How about you fuck me yourself, you coward?!” 

Warning: Happy ending, soft pining. 

A/N: For anon, I hope you enjoy love! We do love some Tammy content x

Tags: @waitingfortheendtocome @natasha-danvers @saucy-sapphic @witchxaf​ @j-does-life​ @coconutlipss​ 

Not my gif! This is Tammy’s face to R throughout this mess lmao x

Prompts 8, 39

“Guys I want to introduce you to an old friend of ours. This is Y/N.” Debbie gestures towards you as you lean confidently against the door frame of the front entrance to Lou’s warehouse apartment. You lift a hand in greeting chewing slowly on a piece of gum, you wink at the brunette stranger who you’ve seen on the big screens before who giggles in return. You can practically feel Debbie’s eye roll as Lou chuckles quietly amused by your confident nature. 

“Nice to meet you all.” You address the women who are new to the group, before turning your attention to the woman who’s brown eyes stare hard at your form. “Tammy, always a pleasure.” You smirk cheekily at the blonde woman who scoffs irritably as she crosses her arms across her chest. Her brown eyes leave your own and turn accusingly to your childhood friend. 

“Really? Lizzie wasn’t available to help.” She complains, while the other women look on in confusion at Tammy’s unusual cold demeanour. 

“Hey! I am far better than Lizzie fucking Carpenter, thank you very much.” You retaliate, moving away from the door frame and into the living space. You hear Lou mutter under her breath ‘here we go’ before slipping away from the tense atmosphere, you notice the others follow suit apart from one who seems barely over the age of 23. The young girl seems to settle more into the sofa, slowly eating her M&M’s her eyes moving back and forth as if witnessing a tennis match. 

‘Probably an accurate description’ You think amusingly, as you remember the previous arguments you’ve had with the blonde mother. 

“Guys please, can we just get along for one job. I swear I feel like I’m 21 again whenever you two are in a room together.” Debbie expressed, tiredly. The con artist has always been the mediator of many spats between you and Tammy since you could remember. 

If you were being honest with yourself, you don’t really know how this quarrel between you started. In fact, you and Tammy used to be best friends growing up. ‘Partners in crime’ your mothers had said, never going a day without talking or seeing one another. After the Ocean family had moved into the area, you became the warrior three rather quickly with Danny being a surrogate older brother to you both. That all seemed to change after college, you became more cocky with your grafting skills and wanted to make more money elsewhere and Debbie being the true Ocean she is couldn’t pass up the opportunity of the thrill. Tammy on the other hand grew tired of being constantly on the move and never settling down, once her boyfriend now husband came into the picture you drifted further apart. Small jabs at one another turned into full blown arguments where you wouldn’t talk for days until all communication stopped all together.

 You have only seen Tammy once since that last argument that ended any piece of friendship left, her wedding day. To this day you never understood that painful feeling in your chest as you watched your childhood best friend walk down the aisle into those man's arms or how she looked at you from the head of the table as you danced with your date for the evening. You still don’t know why you invited her along instead of taking up Debbie and Lou’s offer of going as a ‘threesome’ which Tammy scolded you all for. Now you stand again in front of her, back to where you left off, arguing. 

“I’m not the one who’s ego is so big, it fills up the entire building,” Tammy mutters in defence, making you laugh out loud. 

“Please if your ignorance was anything to go by, I’m sure it would surpass my ego, Dream girl.” You respond back, watching as something unrecognisable passes across her face at the old nickname. You internally scold yourself at the use of the endearment. She takes a deep breath before bringing her hand forward towards you, making you raise an eyebrow in question. 

“Truce? For the sake of the job.” She begrudgingly offers, keeping her hand out. You look at the well manicured hand and back up to her face before taking her hand into your own and squeezing it gently, you try to ignore the electricity that jolts through you at the feeling of having her warm hand against your skin again. You notice her squirm slightly and clear her throat before abruptly removing her hand from yours, adjusting her knee length skirt. 

“Right well that settles it, I think we can move forward and get this plan going. Debs I have a few documents for you to look at.” She informs, her eyes glued to Debbie’s form as she steps away from your space. Clearly unaffected by the wave of electricity you’ve just experienced. 

“Why would you care if you felt it anyway.” You scold yourself, dismissing the thought before going over to the couch and settling in ready for Debbie and Lou to give you the rundown on their latest Job as you take the offered M&M from the younger woman. Unaware of the torn brown eyes that is also questioning the same electricity feeling from across the way. 

***

“You know I used to think Fencing was boring but you know what… I was right.” You tease, as you sit next to Tammy in the white van waiting for one of her contacts to meet her with the equipment. You laugh at the glare that she throws you, knowing there’s no real bite behind it. 

“I’m kidding Tam, I think it’s a very important job and brings in a great income for the family. What does your husband think of you working again and bringing in more money than him?” You continue, not being able to help yourself. Her eyes stay glued to the front keeping an eye out for her guy, attempting to be unfazed by your jabbing. 

“He thinks I’m working an office job at Vogue if you must know which is perfectly well considering he doesn’t live with us anymore.” She murmurs, double checking her phone for the green light to move out of our hidden spot and to the moving truck full of stolen equipment. 

“Oh wow, Vogue huh? Moving up in the world of fashion there, Dream girl.” You mock, a teasing smile on your face to show her you mean nothing behind it and avoiding the sensitive topic of the husband talk. Her lips twitch slightly in gratitude before her brows furrow, her brown eyes locking on your own suddenly far more interested in you then her phone. 

“Why do you still call me that?” She questions, her voice suddenly vulnerable. Now it’s your turn to frown, confused by her question. 

“Call you what? Dream girl?” You shrug, unaware of the effect it still has on her. “I guess you’ve always been ‘dream girl’ to me, even if we aren’t friends like that anymore.” You confess, suddenly feeling very open to her in this small space. You watch the confliction flicker in her beautiful brown eyes waiting for her to respond. 

“We aren’t friends anymore?” She whispers sadly, her eyes full of sorrow. 

“Well I mean we haven’t exactly spoken to each other since your wedding day and even if we’ve had to interact like at my parents wedding anniversary party we just ended up bickering until we spent the rest of the day avoiding each other.” You mumble, feeling awkward and exposed with this new, honest topic of conversation. A soft hand lands on top of your closed fist that had formed unknowingly throughout this conversation making you relax from the tense position. 

“I never meant for us to grow apart the way we did Y/N. Things just seemed to happen so fast I never took a minute to consider your feelings or how we just stopped being each other's person.” She opens up, she smiles apologetically at you as unushered tears build in her eyes that are full of regret. You sigh in defeat and turn over your hand to hold onto hers and squeeze in reassurance and comfort. 

“Aww shucks, you going soft on me Tam Tam.” You joke halfheartedly, feeling uncomfortable with her choice of words knowing just how true they were. You see that perfectly arched brow rise knowing she’s caught your attempt at deflecting the subject. 

“Even when I was with him I still never stopped thinking about you, ya know. What were you doing? If you were happy? I guess I was just too stubborn to pick up the phone and apologise.” She says, regret laced within her voice. Making you shake your head in dismissal. 

“No Tam, if anyone was the stubborn idiot here, it was me. I missed out on so much of your life. Look at your two kids, they are already past your waist and soon will be off to college.” 

“You are so dramatic.” She laughs, shoving you lightly. She bites her bottom lip contemplating her next words. 

“You haven’t changed a bit, ya know. You're still that beautiful confident girl I remember.” A soft warm smile appears on your lips. 

“You think I’m beautiful.” 

“Oh  the confident part goes unheard but the beautiful she hears loud and clear.” She teases, laughing as you wiggle your eyebrows at her suggestively. Before you can continue her phone chimes indicating our packages have arrived breaking the weird spell we had created putting an end to our conversation.

You pull away from each and adjust in your seat,  an unsettling feeling settles  in your chest as Tammy pulls away from the alleyway and towards your drop off location. Comfortable silence fills the van leaving you both with your thoughts. 

 ***

“How could you be so reckless?! You were so closed to being caught, I swear one of these days you're going to end up in jail and I will only have one thing to say to you ‘I told you so’.” Tammy shouts, speeding towards you as you enter the living room with the rest of the crew. 

Tammy, Rose and NineBall had stayed behind for this job, their talents needed back at base while you and the rest of the gang carried out the job elsewhere. The heist was a success but your risky slip up towards the end of the job didn’t go unnoticed by the blonde who had stayed glued to NineBall’s side watching from the screens as you effortlessly pulled off your side of the job with the exception of your slight slip up. The others scatter away towards the back room, staying clear of Tammy’s rage which has only surfaced in the last two weeks of you arriving. You throw your hands up in defence. 

“Hey! I had it Tam okay. Yes it was risky but I did it. You think you can do a better job please, be my guest.” You murmur, too tired to argue loudly with her. 

“Go fuck yourself, Y/N!” She spats, arms crossed in defiance.

“How about you fuck me yourself, you coward?!” You retaliate, smugly watching as her angry demeanour falters at your words. Silence fills the room, except from the light scratching on the wooden door leading to the back room indicating to the earwigs next door. You watch as her brown eyes turn dark with determination, the rest of her face stoic as she marches towards you with purpose. Before you could question her intentions, her usually delicate hands fist your shirt pulling you close as soft full lips clash hard with your own overwhelming senses. Once the initial shock is over you relax into the kiss and place the palms of your hands against her cheeks cupping her face. Before you could take it further she inches away keeping her forehead against your own as she catches her breath. “You were saying?” She whispers teasingly against your lips. 

“I um, yeah. Mind if we do that again, I don’t think I quite pinpointed the flavour of your lip balm. Was that min-” Her lips cover over your own once more stopping your rambling. 

Scuffling from behind Tammy causes you to stop your moment of bliss, as you both watch your friends stumble through the back door bickering quietly to one another. You clear your throat to make your presence known and watch as they freeze. Keeping an arm around Tammy’s waist you address the peeping toms and earwigs. 

“You guys got somewhere to be?” You mock, as Tam giggles quietly against your shoulder trying to hide her now red cheeks. 

“This is my apartment, you can’t kick me out.” Lou justifies as Debbie laughs grabbing her clothed arm and dragging her out of the room making sure the others follow. 

“It’s about time they figured it out and I don’t want to be here for the aftermath. It could still go either way.” She murmurs to Lou loud enough for you both to hear making you roll your eyes are your friends ‘told you so’ attitude. 

Once the group has left, you hear Tam sigh softly against your shoulder. “I think we have a lot to talk about.” She informs softly, a small content smile appearing on her face making you pull her even closer, placing a kiss to the top of her hairline. 

“Later. I just want to hold and kiss you a little longer.” You confess, holding onto her just a little tighter basking in the blissful moment. 

Finally

***

Later that evening as you both lay cuddled up in the guest double bed of Lou’s apartment, you whispered sweet hidden confessions to on another that haven’t been said out loud before. 

“I’ve been in love with you since I was sixteen Y/N. That night you picked me up from that awful date with Jefferson when he tried his luck with me. You were so angry with him and I asked if I could stay at yours so my parents wouldn’t see the state of me.. you just held me all night no bombarded questions. I watched you sleep with your arm wrapped around me, even in your sleep you were still trying to protect me.” She stops talking for a moment and looks into your eyes, holding your gaze . “I just remember thinking ‘no one is ever going to match up to my expectations because you outdone them all without realising’ but I knew that our friendship meant more and I didn’t want to ruin it.” She pauses, as she twirls your necklace that lays on your bare chest smiling softly realising it’s the one she bought you at college graduation. “You still kept this?” she whispers, her breath softly touching your neck making you shiver. You place your hand over hers stopping her movements.

“Tam, even though we lost sight of our friendship I still always thought of you. Everything I did or saw reminded me of you and how stunningly beautiful you are. I can’t seem to quit you, Dream girl. And now that I have you properly I don’t ever wanna stop.” You vow, knowing that every word spoken speaks the truth. Because you have always known that you and Tammy were more than just friends, you were just too stubborn to allow those thoughts to come to light. But now that you have her close you don't ever want to let her go. 

[silver-mist]

BTS In The SOOP EP4 - HOBI’s REVENGE (The full recap)

I havent done a recap since Ep 1 and technically that wasnt a recap but more for fun. However, after watching today’s episode, I felt inclined to share some thoughts as I found this to be such a lovely and heartfelt episode that truly exemplified not only each member and how they are as well as dynamics between them so im making this exception. This may be a long read for some but if you make it to the end then ❤️and feel free comment. Welcome to a summary/analysis of my thoughts throughout this episode full of cute moments between certain member “ships”. I put that in quotations to point out that I look at these platonically in a friendly way (with the exception of 1 lol) but also as a way to emphasize how each member looks to another as different likes and circumstances arise. We all can fully see that OT7 truly have a special bond unlike other idol groups who pretend for years only to be discredited later. However, it shouldnt come as a surprise that some members are closer to some than others and that isnt a bad thing, just like we all may have that 1 or those 2 people we wanna tell first when you have a major life event or need to just talk. That is the main reason for my recap today, to talk about these and how it genuinely warms my heart because even though they may not act like their full real selves here, after all, this will be seen on broadcast by the general public and not just fans, this is probably the closest we get to their domestic normal selves, no narrative, no event or photoshoot to prepare for, just them doing things as they go. 

We start off after the dinner scene where everyone has dispersed into their own thing. Cue to V sitting by himself in the main house about to sing karaoke. As anyone who has followed him along the years, you already know that he often prefers his own “me” moments and its just cute to watch him start singing to his hearts content that its even pointed out by his hyungs as they sit outside further away chatting. Its nice to see him happily enjoying whatever he feels like doing with no care in the world but I do shy away from calling him an introvert as he can be the social butterfly. 

We then cut to Namseok sitting outside, drinking some beer, having a heart to heart. The rap line has obviously been close for a long time but the way Hobi speaks about his chat with Joon that night and how it feels natural and not awkward shows you that they gravitate towards one another vs possibly some other members in terms of lets say normal adult discussions where its not about jokes or laughter but just growing up and responsibilities or random hobbies and its a beautiful thing to see. Between Hobi wishing he could sing (I think he has a lovely voice and should try it out even when he thinks he isnt good) to Joon talking about writing in a journal or feeling like this is a break they should have where they retire, its cute, its normal non celeb talk, and just a moment between 2 likeminded friends. I’ll finish off this scene with another *Joon should just not touch things in general* moment when he drops the mosquito defector and all Hobi does is smile and reply... 

(Friendship Goals...)

Jimin decides to join shortly after but doesnt have a beer in hand, the hyungs are quick to point that there is some in the other fridge but Jimin dismisses it and goes to sit as all he wants is to be in their company awww. He mentions that he will take some cold medicine and Hobi immediately questions if he’s feeling unwell to which he replies that he is in fact not feeling well. This cause an immediate reaction of concern from the hyungs as Joon tells him to put his hood on to evade a bit of the cold air and Hobi insists in a serious manner to not disobey and do as they say after jimin says its fine. Double awww 🥺

Their night ends with Minimoni heading out to another mini tournament of ping pong because why not, Jimin trying to convince Hobi to watch them because awww, and Joon telling Jimin to not torture Hobi like that 😂. Joon reading the room and knowing its not his thing cracks me up, baby mochi just wants him around haha.

The scene then cuts to the next morning where we finally see Yoongi waking up from him sleep nest in the search for water. He is still out of it as he cutely blames someone from taking his water to only realize a few moments later that that someone was him 😂.

Lil meow meow cutely wobbles out of his camper to go get a drink only to suspiciously look around like he’s spotting the cameras. Perhaps to make a Yoongi Part 3 impromptu advertisement??? We all know how good he is at those 😂. He finally asks himself “What should I do”. Story of my life he probably thinks in his mind... meanwhile I go, just rest. 

We then cut to another episode of the Chronicles of Jin: The “It’s still Hot” saga where I genuinely wonder why he still chooses the tent when im sure another arrangement is possible but do you boo. As always, the forever RJ representative cutely wears his pj’s as he heads to the main house not before stopping to do the most random thing ever... 

The editor’s caption speaks for itself lol.

He finds his way inside to stumble upon baby Tae still kinda sleepy looking complaining to the sink where dishes were left unwashed the prior night. His annoyance cracks me up and then he starts to play with a mini skillet/stove? and we finally get a moment of Tae cooking... yayy. He cutely complains as the rice is not staying together and tests out the sugar level to then realize it needs more and its adorable. Hobi wakes up and heads downstairs to encounter Jin at the piano again and cutely heads towards Tae to smack his butt and ask for some food, cue VHOPE cuteness, which later continues when Hobi wants to time Tae’s food with his jog haha. Tae again complains about the dishes and proceeds to drag a chair closer to the stove because I guess the 2 second distance from the table is too much? 😂Cute..

Back to 2Seok which to what I have seen in videos is not often, agreeing to go for a jog as well as disagreeing on how to go about it. Jin is like America (we go out to the store in sweats with unruly hair and not give an F LOL) and Hobi is like Korea (Where everyone dresses nice no matter what the occasion) Side note* this is my perspective as an american who has visited korea, they just do fashion better over there and I want to buy it all ☺️. I guess Hobi ends up finally convincing Jin to change because next thing they are out and about in their morning jog.

Back to baby Tae and random inexplicable moment of the episode #2... He removes the plate from the chair then proceeds to sit on the floor to taste his treat when the chair is now empty...🧐😂

2seok is now on their jog down the road and Hobi stops to rest on the side with Jin judging him “We only ran for 3 minutes and you already want to rest?” LOLOL. He then proceeds to take some of Hobi’s water and insists on carrying the bottle back because it makes him look good on camera. LMAO Jin, stay humble always... 😂. Hobi just does a literal SMH.

Cutscene to the view where different rooms are shown at once and I spot the second room next to Jungkook in the floating house with the door open.. Hmmm who opened it I wonder? Was someone using the room??

Back to V being his cute self enjoying his “me” time. He proceeds to play again with the rc boat and I almost panic a little at what seems like he may fall into the water trying to place it there. Good thing he doesnt but he gets the wrong control remoter and rushes back to get the right one. Once it finally moves its like all is right in the world. Cute. We get a short glimpse of him in the floating house and seeing that Jungkook is still fast asleep.

We then see Yoongi back at the top house heading in to read his book, shortly after the 3 amigos V, Hobi and Jin are walking in as Jin previously mentioned he was hungry, cue to start of meal prepping. 

We finally see the final member we havent seen wake up, baby mochi in all his fairy like self is still in bed. Tae is the first to open the door to his room and proceeds to cutely jump over him, play around, get pushed back and complain and then just lay on top of him with his butt facing the door. Excuse me while I melt in cuteness..my VMIN heart... ❤️

Only to literally do a 180 and LAUGH my ass off when Hobi walks in, sees them there and just goes NOPE.. walking out 😂

Apparently 2seok have decided on their meal plan and the ever so helpful ray of sunshine seems at a loss on how to set the charcoal on fire, note that he could have asked Jin but he heads to Yoongi for help (Bring in some SOPE love :)). Either way here I was hoping Yoongi would just chill and it seemed like that was the plan until he saw Hobi’s lostness and eagerness to help so he decides to step up again and help out. It’s kinda evident he didnt plan to when he goes “Oh ok” after being told what they plan to eat but proceeds to jump in at Hobi’s lostness in terms of making a fire. Cute. 

Cue back to Hobi disturbing the soulmates and whatever little cute slaps Tae was giving Jimin to probably wake up to ask him to fetch the torch because hes finally done running between the houses like last episode lol. The ever obedient Tae obliges immediately, Jimin remains in bed. 

Were back at the main house and maybe not every caught on but its ADORABLE how Joon goes out with the plan to play with the boat like Tae but leaves it abandoned to see where all the other members are. Note, he is for some reason limping all of a sudden and I think it may have to do with why he left early for personal reasons, I hope he was ok. Potential theory, could Jin slapping the boxer bag have anything to do with it? 🧐.

Anyways, even with his leg issue he literally walks around to the other house, checks on all members and ends up back at the main house sitting next to Jungkook, encouraging him as he is building a glider and then ultimately telling him he will keep him company by sitting next to him and reading a book. Even takes care of him by bringing him a drink. Awwww KookieMonster ❤️

anddd were back to the others in the upper house. 

SOPE taking the lead with building a fire..

TAEJIN figuring out the fish with Tae sporting an adorable hat and looking lost but still willing to help his hyung. Cutely Tae later makes Hobi aware on how this is his first time putting a knife on a fish and learning that a fish’s life is previous. AWWWW.. 

Its the little things that I like to point out, the members gravitate towards who they feel more in tune with. Tae to help Jin and Suga to help Hobi although the opposite would have be interesting to watch lol.

We then get Yoongi thawing out the ribs, Hobi trying to get veggies and LITERALLY pulling out the roots of a poor plant 😂, Yoongi legit pulling up a chair to read while cooking (poor thing haha), Jin crying because hes wasting the fish fillet as hes still learning, Joon adoringly looking at JK while he continues building his glider like a big brother, JK finally giving up and whining that hes gonna ask Hobi for help (HOPEKOOK cutely building a glider? yes please), JK looking over to see what Joon is reading, giving up again and ultimately moving out with Joon looking up like “You leaving me?” and then looking at the camera LOL. 

The 3 cooks up in the upper house are busy in their own thing when Jin asks for the location of the wrapper with SOPE rapping in return making a joke about them being the “rappers” haha. 

Back at the main house Taekook are cooking together. It makes me laugh at the difference between the hyungs cooking above. For starters, JK is cooking sausage for some time but I legit wanna teleport myself over there to tell him “Hey, cut it in pieces, you are burning the bottom of it but the inside is still raw” 😂... thankfully he does that eventually.... Meanwhile little sweet Tae is getting fancy on us and bringing his wine habits into the mix making an appetizer and struggling to open the Jamon packet even though (as the camera clearly zooms in on) the scissors are right next to him...These two are funny. 

Finally someone acknowledges that Jimin is still alive somewhere LOL and its none other than Yoongi who says it out loud in the kitchen then passes by his room but instead of waking him up just cheers him on then walks away haha (YOONMIN ❤️)

However that lasts for about 2 seconds before Yoongi comes back and ask Jimin to gather the others from the other house for lunch as the other members are busy and Jimin listens obediently by rolling over and calling Joon and with a hoarse voice letting him know Yoongi’s instructions. Poor Jimin, he sounds unwell 🥺. Joon goes to gather the younglings, Tae makes it up and decides to decorate the cheese with a red umbrella only to look dissatisfied and make it a blue one lol. They then have some random cuts of moments because JK’s sausages appear on the table but we never see him walk up and then he magically walks out the house but dont show any of that.. hmmmm. I’ll leave my thoughts at that since some people might understand what im alluding to :). 

Yoongi is taking out the ribs and accidentally drops a piece and we get the following reactions;

Yoongi: little scream 😱

Joon: Just use the 3 second rule 🙂

JK: Just wash it and then recoat it with more sauce and that should fix it 😄

To which Yoongi can only look slightly flabbergasted at the suggestion and throws it back “Do you wanna eat them?” hahaha

They all finally gather at the table including Jimin and I see that both him and Joon look a little off, I hope they got better soon after but for sure they seemed sick. Jin sweetly talks about always wanting to make the dish he prepared and how complicated it is and refers to it being a hard dish to make for a Family (the BTS bond is one of a kind). All the members admire the sampling of food, Jimin calls out the cuteness of Tae’s umbrella on the cheese, JK helps Jimin break the ribs apart, Tae tells everyone to try his appetizer, the member’s cutely all aww and ohh when they find out he cut the melon 💜, everyone but JK and Tae seem to know the dish, Hobi and Jimin cue to immediately try it for their friend so he doesnt feel left out, after trying it he cutely asks Jimin how it tastes and waits for his response, another awww, soulmate responds with its diff (which probably isnt his taste but eats it anyway for him ) lol and it zooms out with someone asking (sounds like Jin?) what they will have for dinner to have another member whom I cant tell reply LETS STARVE.  These clowns 😂but I get it, it took like hours to cook each meal.

They get ready to clean and apparently prep something for dinner with Joon washing the dishes and eventually asking Jk for help who is busy cooking rice eventually summoning Jimin who heard his name with Jk cutely smacking his butt to tell him Joon called him to then Jimin telling Joon not to worry and he will take over ( I reread this whole sentence and ran out of breath haha but then again im not here for proper grammer.. oopps). This leads us to a sweet domestic Jikook moment where he asks JK to help him dry the dishes and the other obliges and they just fall in routine.. just cute.

Joon heads back to the main house to pack and I honestly think he probably was heading for a doctor check up, he just seemed out of it 🥺

Jimin gets done with the dishes and ends up next to Tae as the soulmates cutely discuss the game he is playing and Tae announces his kills and loses.

Jimin is then next to Hobi in the other house who is getting ready to customize his shoes, he asks Jimin to join but he doesnt seem enthusiastic to the idea so Hobi just goes “I’ll just do what I like” and to me sounding a little sad since this isnt the first time hes asked Jimin to do an activity with him lol. Before walking away Jimin starts singing a song about it. Yoonjin are back again as buddies down the lake fishing and we get a sweet after interview of Yoongi admitting he is not interested in fishing but he does it because Jin invites him. You KNOW you only do those kind of things for your closest friends or family and that was sooo sweet. YOONJIN goals!

Back at the house we see that Jimin ultimately decided to join Hobi and we get cute JIHOPE moments. Im glad because I honestly got the vide since the beginning of in the soop that he wanted to spend more time with Jimin and hadnt had the chance. They both decorate a shoe each and are careful not to splatter on each other. I also spy with my little eyes... an Iphone?? tsk tsk tsk.. all the others are at least trying and Jimin is like nope hahahaha. If that was indeed a samsung then my bad.

Next thing we know JK and Jimin are harmonizing and sounded just beautiful, can we get another subunit please? I know they did Who and We dont talk anymore but a legit korean song.. anyone? Ok.. moving on haha

Now here is a group I havent seen hang out together often, I  know yoongi mostly keeps to himself but I was wondering if we would see any interactions longer than just passing food or related to meal prep between Yoongi and JK/Tae but here we are, the 2 kiddos singing and the hyung just watching on. Yay..

We later see Jimin revealing his excitement over the art project and im glad he enjoyed doing that with Hobi.

Hilariously enough, not long after, while deep into another song, Yoongi tells Jk that he needs to get out to pack. Jk’s reaction? Proceed to continue singing and kinda ignores hahaha. Cue to the camera angle still showing JK doing his thing and an exasperated looking parent *aka yoongi* just staring at him like 😐

They all head to pack their belongings and we fast forward to them playing games in the upper house. While Jimin is packing he walks out and asks to no one in particular where his hanbok piece is, then sees Jk playing in with the VR and proceeds to go up to tickle him cutely (domestic much? 🥰). This is ironically followed up by mischievous Tae wanting in on the fun by standing up from his spot and moving behind JK and after what seems like thinking it over, carefully tugs his pants down but not with the intention to actually pull them. JK laughs at this and goes “You shouldnt do that” hahaha. Which begs the question, did he know who tried to pull a fast one on him? LOL  

Everyone is back to their usual roles, the 3 cooks prepping the dinner, the maknae line just doing their thing between JK still in the VR game and Vmin cutely playing games in the corner. Yoongi seems like he NEVER rests, poor thing. He sees them prepping the ramen and suggest they add meat and ends up cooking meat. He is such a DAD and im all for it. While all this is happening there is a whole ruckus in the background and we hear the maknae line having a blast but only get a short glimpse of what is happening when the camera is still on the cooks. Apparently Jimin is now on the VR game and Jk decides to mess with him by taking a controller away and putting it behind his back, as Jimin tries to reach out to find it somehow, mischievous Tae is back at it and steals the other and moves it all the way to the other side presumably above the food shelf LMAO. I gather from the way that Jimin reaches UP and not straight out when reaching towards JK and the controller that this is DEF not the first time this has happened and when it has JK played the “I am taller and you cant reach this” stance, so of course Jimin’s instinct is to reach above his head hahaha.

They finally get down to eat and they all run to the table, I spook a cute Jikook moment of JM sitting next to JK and pulling the chair up leaving little room LOL, then Hobi still needs help so Jimin proceeds to go in to help with JK not far behind and a cute JiHopeKook hug alongside a Jikook sweet moment (I see that waist caress there JK 👀🥰😂😏) and they all make it back to the table with their meals ready. Tae makes sure to remind Jimin there is also meat for him to grab. Aww, ive lost count of the times that these two have been looking out for the other and its just so subtle but sweet af. 

Its time to finally go homeeeee. They all decide on who’s going in what car and then suddenly Jin remembers to check his fishing rod. 

Now... you may be wondering why I called this Hobi’s revenge. Well well well.. I want to say that slowly, Hobi decided to butter Jin up by hanging out all day long to eventually go full betrayal mode muahahaha. I kid I kid. But as life turns out, Hobi was presented with an opportunity to return the favor of Jin’s BV4 master plan to abandon him in New Zealand. Well well well... how the tables have turned. He tells his plans to the other nearby and they immediately agree 😂. Cue to a total pandemonium... Hobi rushing them in, Yoongi slowly walking to his car because of course he aint gonna run, Jimin trying to drag his suitcase, Tae running from the house in a cute manner probably going hehehehehe as he hears the plan, Jungkook walking up to them with no idea whats going on, having like 1 second to understand it, and then immediately running unsure of what to do until Jimin goes “Help me load this in!”. 

Jin finally approaches and they get in in time and start driving off. Jin finally goes heyyyyyyyy and cant believe what is happening, shouts out Yoongi, like you cant do this to me LOLOL. You can see Yongi’s big ass smile through the windshield which is even funnier. For a second he stops and it seems like Yoongi decides to have mercy on him, even open the door for him to stick his suitcase in. Hobi, Jungkook and Jimin seem to believe it as they are seen walking back up away from the car guessing the plan is a no go. That is until Yoongi goes full AGUST D and says “Who's the king, who's the boss?”... JK but lets just pretends he says that 😂, and literally does start driving off. Jihopekook see this and run their asses back to the car like little kids and laughing all cute as can be HEHEHEHEHE and they end up leaving Jin there LOL. Revenge is a dish best served cold and you just got served Jinnie.

Legend says Hobi slept well that night. 

The end. 

Hope you had fun reading this long post, probably will never do another since it took forever but I had fun making these gifs and pics and typing in my 2 cents hahaha. Borahae everyone 💜

[tackyink]

So, uh. It's 3 am and I have come after reading the rest of Anomaly in one sitting. So ideas are not ordered at all

I am tearing uppp ;-; idk where to begin,, just everything was so right aaaa

I really liked Mako's character development and the relationships with other characters :)) Kurama was obvious, but it didn't make it worse in any way, I am very soft for the two. Yusuke is another obvious, but by far my favourite platonic dynamic, more so at the last chapters (I will get onto those in another paragraph) they tease the hell of each other, share hardships and are there for each other in happy moments too,, I really really loved their interactions! As for Hiei, not too much of mushy things (obviously, but I really liked how low-key was their friendship(? acquaintance (?? they are in the middle of the two words, enough to have Hiei on character). The one I didn't expect was the Kuwabara-Makoto friendship? Like, I read how they were awkward in Shiori's wedding (queen) but I feel it was really natural, like when you are at the beginning of a friendship and still don't know how to make conversation,, and the next chapters only enforced that :)) it made me very happy somehow!

As for the girls, I have a lot of things to say! They were so funny in the DT arc and you captured their character so well during and after it, I felt it was impossible for Makoto to stay away completely. I feel that if they were real they would be the type of people who just suck others into their orbit without being overbearing, and they made such a nice mix! Of course with their differences and not too close (like Fumi and Mako, for example!) but just enough to feel good while reading their interactions ♡

About Fumi's decision to swore off men, you go girl it's best choice lmao and for Chizuru, damn jealous

The last two chapters were too much for my poor heart, it was beating like crazy while I was laughing. Chapter 25 is such a Mess™ (plot-like I mean, poor Mako can't have a rest) and it was in tune with the anime/manga Mess™ also accidental marriage proposal + accidental confession? Sign me up. The chapter I enjoyed the most by far and that is saying a lot because there isn't a single chapter I haven't enjoyed. But that sweet scene between Mako and Kurama when he appears in chapter 26 and the proposal to go to Makai together? That made me mush and melt in my bed. Repeatedly. I have not simped so hard for a pairing like them.

Honorable mentions: 1. Mako being petty as hell is my new religion and I shall follow through. The fox plushy. I will never forget. Also, reminding your half-boyfriend he stood you up/making puns about stolen things AND nagging him because he cannot end a fight without needing a hospital? True gf material/j

2. The part when mako went to Kyoto again & the encounter with the fox demon and the will-o-wisp is one of my favorite scenes too. I don't know why, it just is.

3. I live for Doraemon crumbs. I love the cat.

I don't think I have anymore to say for now JAJAJA if I remember anything I will come back, but for now I will go cry into my bed because there isn't more Mako&Kurama-- /hj

Once again, best wishes (>︿<｡)♡

I woke up in the middle of the night, saw this at 4 AM and proceeded to fall unconscious again.

Writing Kurama’s relationship with Mako was fun because there’s this person in a very similar situation to him but with a ridiculous age gap and a totally different outlook on life, and I like that what sparked the whole thing was that both thought that the other was really fucking weird and they wanted to know more. I seriously didn’t know how the thing was going to pan out. I feel like Anomaly wrote itself and the characters held the wheel the whole time. As I said, same applies to Yusuke. I thought Mako would dismiss him as an idiot and he’d avoid her because of her personality, but Yusuke’s such an open person and Mako’s so unused to not being judged that they just. Clicked. (This is canon btw: after Anomaly, Yusuke’s roping Mako into helping with his Spirit Detective-lite cases in exchange for ramen. He did it at first when he was stumped and Kurama wasn’t available, but now he does it whenever he feels like it because he relishes in knowing he has the power to summon her from the mountains. She complains all the time but goes anyway.) I was a little sad that in the end Hiei didn’t show up much in the fic because he didn’t cross paths with Mako many times. I think they have this sort of distant respect for one another and they’re like, this is not the first nor second person I would go to for help, but if shit hits the fan the other’s going to be there and that’s what matters. Hiei’s opinion of Makoto hinged on Kurama’s (“I respect this guy and he seems to respect her”) and Yukina’s (“they get along”) own impression of her. Yes to the observation about her and Kuwabara! They’re still learning how to talk to each other. But they’re trying! Look at them fumbling their way through a social situation!

Makoto was a fool for even thinking she could escape the grasp of the other girls. She’s one of them now, whether she likes it or not, and I like how clear that was when she was all worried about Yusuke possibly dying again and asked Atsuko for a hug, and Atsuko just jumped at the opportunity. This is her kid too. She didn’t know what to do with the first kid, much less a second, but she’s going to take her anyway.

Fumi/Shizuru is the true power couple of the fic and it happens in the background because otherwise they’d take over the story.

I was so unsure about those extra chapters. I’m always afraid to touch Anomaly because I think I finished it the best way possible and I’m terrified of messing it up by adding more to it. I wish I had the drive right now to work on the sequel(s) and other extra chapters I had in mind, but for now and as long I’m lost in the Grand Line, I’m satisfied that you find it satisfying. <3

1. Hey, Kurama’s a little shit, so if he can dish it, he can take it. This is a balanced relationship.

2. I loved writing that part! Everything is told from Makoto’s perspective, but this was purely her part of the story, not Yusuke’s, and it shows in the general feel of the chapter. I don’t know how to say it, but it’s very Mako? She has a way to look at creepy and make it feel natural instead of scary.

3. Look. Mako picks up on other people’s thoughts and feelings, not hers. This cat loves her so much that little Mako got a vision from him before they met, that's why she knew where to find him. He trips her all the time but that's because he's a tsundere. Can’t let her go soft.

Thank you so much for your messages, you’ve made my day again. （*’∀’人）♥ Take care!!

[ether-gearhead]

Because Tumblr user @sharlettehatesmiasma just HAD to go and prove itself a prime fucking example of why NaLus and MAGAs are fundamentally one and the same, now I gotta write a whole-ass essay just to keep her from shouting over me (incidentally a favorite MAGA tactic as well)! This is gonna need a cut, isn’t it?

By the way, this is all in the context of our prior conversation, so it may not exactly make sense. So yeah, this needed a cut anyway. I feel better about that at least.

“Lmao Lucy never tried any seduction tricks with Natsu. The dolls Hakune made were pretty much acting like what they act around Natsu(except nakedness). Lisanna used to tease Natsu about getting married, Erza always talks about taking bath together, Wendy said Natsu was her big bro and then we have Lucy who never ever showed this much obvious feelings for Natsu(totally opposite, she always denies). That's what I'm saying lol. Hakune's magic is known to all so that doesn't Have confusion at all. The difference in our points are solely based on what we think about that thing or what we wanna see.”

Obviously she’s never tried to seduce Natsu, but she’s tried seduction around him before. In fact, I’m surprised Lucy’s doll didn’t repeat “We’ll be together forever, right?” But the fact she went straight for seduction makes me think, at least compared to everyone else, that all else aside, Natsu’s view of Lucy is more sexual than with the other girls, which I guess is a point for NaLu

“Well the pseudo marriage thing Idk really. I mean ofc I would also value the moments spent with my childhood friend(romatically or not). He values his friends more than his life. But I mean, Natsu being interested in 2 girls just doesn't sit with me well lol. He really doesn't have any clear concept about love as you said. That's what prevented Hakune from bringing the real love intetest from within his mind. For Gray, it was utterly clear so Hakune brought Juvia but We're talking about a dumbass hero here lol.”

So friendship has nothing to do with it, yet he values his friends more than his life?! Which is it?! And by the way, you’re flip-flopping on Hakune’s power again! Is it a love interest or just women he’d die for?! No concept of consistency whatsoever, yet another shared hallmark of NaLus and MAGAs!

The fact that you dismiss Natsu as a “dumbass hero

Ooh, hey, I can go back to this now!

“How does this have to do anything with friendship theme?! I mean it would've made sense if he left the letter for entire team Natsu after Tartarus battle, if he had gone to the other members of team Natsu after defeating Acnologia or if he had told "we'll be together forever to Gray, Erza or Wendy" lol. And I already said if Mashima wants to go on a Kishimoto route, which means turning tables on the fanbase then he definitely should start NaLi development rn. I mean Something solid which will make Natsu think that he's in love with Lisanna instead of Lucy.”

Of course Lucy was the only one who’d get a letter! Gray had END to worry about, Wendy was in the same boat he was, and assuming she could read his handwriting, Erza would just storm after him and drag him back herself! But that’s what happens when you condition yourself to not register anything non-NaLu-related, I guess.

And Natsu didn’t “go” to Lucy after defeating Acnologia! He just fell right out onto her from the Space Between Time! Gaslighting’s another thing you guys have in common with the MAGAs, by the way.

Also, if you’re type of person to think Gray, Erza, or Wendy doesn’t know they’re stuck with Natsu all the way by this point, you’re probably not the type of person who can capably dress themselves. I’ll thank you not to use others as your mouthpieces a la MAGA, by the way.

“And about Natsu having interest in 2 girls. I'm not being rude to you bc we have different choices and I don't wanna argue with someone while discussing a simple topic. But that doesn't really mean I can't be rude.”

A boy who doesn't understand love can't be intetested in 2 girls. And Natsu waiting for the moment Lisanna/Lucy makes a move on him also seems off bc that means he's willingly pulling the act of dense dumbass boy. That's all.”

The fact that you dismiss Natsu as a “dense dumbass boy” tells me NOTHING ABOUT NATSU IN 545 CHAPTERS OF FAIRY TAIL HAS REGISTERED WITH YOU WHATSOEVER!!!” As a dense dumbass boy myself, lemme walk you through some things.

You’re eleven years old. You raise an egg with this girl you know. While warming the egg, she starts teasing you about her being your wife. You get embarrassed about it, but you actually like the idea a little.

The egg hatches, and you and the girl start playing house with the hatchling. You’re the daddy, she’s the mommy. All is well for four years, until she dies in an accident on the job, and maybe you wanted her to be your wife for real after all.

A couple years later, you meet a girl in a harbor town while searching for your missing father figure. Turns out she wants to work where you just so happen to work, so you bring her home with you. As time goes by and you start to work together, you realize she makes you feel the same way your lost pseudo-wife did, and suddenly, everything is okay again, for the first time in two years.

And then, circumstances conspire, and you learn that the girl you thought dead is very much alive. You take care of all your business with the people who took her in, and everyone celebrates her safe return home.

But there’s a problem. Your new co-worker still makes you feel that same way your pseudo-wife did. What’s more, your pseudo-wife still makes you feel that way today. You know precious little about boy meeting girl, but you do know from your pseudo-wife’s sister and her gentle reminders to your older co-worker who likes to flirt with her that he has a wife at home that you’re not supposed to feel that way about two different girls.

You don’t want either girl to hate you for admitting how the other girl makes you feel. So you put it out of your head for now, and focus on earning a promotion at work.

This is the tale of a dense dumbass boy in love, despite being too much of a dense, dumbass boy to know what that even is.

[kirishimas-manly-eyeliner]

omg hi im here to vent a lil 👉👈

YOU CAN TOTALLY IGNORE THIS AHAHA THIS IS HONESTLY JUST TO GET SOME FEELINGS OUT

stress is going whhooOOOOP from school hngndjg- lots of crying and pressure going on over there ewww (totally broke down on my way to krispy kremes BUT THATS OKAY!! isjdjdje literally couldn't breathe oop; also PLEASE talking to the cashier while there were tears under my mask KSJDIA)

gotta keep my gpa up, no matter whaaatttt

ALSO i got this decision i gotta make- ik if i dont choose this one option, imma regret it, but ill be very unhappy for another year or so. BUT THATS OKAY TOO :D

and i feel so unproductive irl :( i just cant bring myself to do work yk? i know how lazy im being, i tell myself to do work, but i still do nothing all day. and when the day's over, next thing you know, i did absolutely nothing and i totally beat myself up for not doing anything sdsjske- like WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? WASTING TIME LIKE THIS?? the only thing im productive on is tumblr hehe

AHHKK AND I CANT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT THIS- i cant bring myself to talk to my friends- they all think im this happy bubbly person and i dont wanna kill the mood :( i just joke around yk?? "oh haha i did nothing all dayyyy~ its great being meeeee" LMAO AND THEY LAUGH AND IM JUST DKDUEIEO

hnnngg i also think i MAY be falling for one of my close guy friends oop- hes prrreeetttyyy much the only person who has a slight idea of how im feeling- PLEASE WE TALK EVERY DAY AND WJDJFIHSOS my hearttt- dont wanna ruin our friendship tho so i gotta shut up hehe (OSJFIEIE NOT HIM TEXTING AS SOON AS I FINISHED WRITING THIS OMG)

anywayyysss other than that IM DOING GREAT

SORRY THIS ASK WAS LITERALLY ALL OVER THE PLACEEEE

ILYYYYYY MWAHHH

SORRY FOR DUMPING THIS ALL ON YOU 😭😭😭

oh no morosis it’s okay!! honestly just tell me whatever you need whenever, bc omg this sounds so difficult for you rn 😭

AND I THINK YOU VENT A LOT LIKE ME?? It’S LIKE YOU LOWKEY TURN IT INTO A JOKE BC YOU DON’T WANNA BURDEN tHE OTHER PERSON, BUT THEN YOU’RE ACTUALLY DYING INSIDE AND WHEN THEY DISMISS YOU YOU GET CONFUSED LIKE IS THAT JUST ME

anyways-

any no no productivity guilt is 10000 percent understandable! i get it a lot (yes, a lot bc yes-) and honestly, i’ve just learned to accept that it happened, but never dwell on it ever again. and if i do it again the next day? i pick myself up (it won’t be easy, but you got this!) and say that i’ll just do better tomorrow, and mean it. the reason why we procrastinate isn’t because we have poor time management skills, it’s because we’re subconsciously trying to avoid things that could cause us pain, so we choose to avoid it instead. but if you get rid of the thing that causes you the pain, or at least make it easier, then you’re more likely to get started. 

as someone who has adhd and procrastinates more than anything else, a huge huge tip would definitely be to start with something that you know you can’t fail. for instance, just start off with something as simple as pulling up that Google Doc, or opening up your assignment, or flipping to that page in your notebook! just do the bare minimum, and start off with that.

some other productivity tips that have seriously helped me are: 

1. listen to lofi music, and i MOST DEFINITELY recommend Avatar: The Last Airbender for that specific genre! that’s because i’m always hanging around in the fandom, but if i’m listening to something from it, it’s like i’m already subconsciously hanging around in the fandom while i’m doing the work. 

2. or listen to some haikyuu lofi music by Ambition lol-  

3. clean your fricken room, this took me 50 years to get-- clear room, clear mind!

4. Use the Pomodoro strategy! do 25 minutes of deep work, block all other sites, and then after take a five minute break. it’ll go 10x faster than it normally does if you don’t get started, and you can always find Study With Me videos on YouTube!

AND OOOOH LA LA A CUTE BOY??? dang girlie, idk how you fall in love with real people but i got so much respect for ya 😭😭 ALSO NO DON’T FEEL SORRY YOU MATTER TO ME AND I CARE ABOUT YOUUUUU ILY

[bunnyriviere]

my god i cant get my head out of this mess so imma rant, then MAYBE i can focus on my assignment like damn babe i thought your passion is stats, why are you obsessing over a guy that doesnt care enough. huh? care about stats instead babe!!!!!! i just want to only have to care about maths but i know my life is ruined if i dont have relationships, so i try. but i must suck at it so bad if everything just ends in flame like this, im so tired im teary eyes.

im on my phone and honestly dont know how to do the uh line to cut short the post so if anybody unfortunately see this im sr :(

this is not even about a romantic relationship, i dont even know why i just couldnt like a person like that but damn fine. this is about a male friend i made in grade 11 i guess. i have never liked men. im afraid of them and dont want to have to interact with them ever. i know its bad and i should change but i just really want them away from me im sorry..... so i wasnt even friendly with him, but i was polite, i know how to be a decent person. he was friendly and nice and friends to all which only made me think aw geez just stop being friendly i know this is not because you like me. but i was eating the snack he brought to class anytime he brought it without much thought cause he offered i aint gonna say no. all the while still not consider him a friend. not until a friend said im not being nice if im eating his food while still not seeing him as a friend. and i have always feel bad about not being friendlier towards men in general and he made the 1st move which made it easier for me to just go along. so i did and thats how we became friends.

hes really nice and i mean it. i think really highly of him. maybe its just me having bad luck so i havent met many that are nice?? i really believe they are just myth tbh, im about to settle for that thought. and this guy is really how i wish is the standard for all men. hes just that good, i have no complain. i truly like him and glad that my friend said something cause otherwise we probably wouldnt be friends.

again no romantic feeling. i just have to, remind the invisible audiences of this post i guess.

now we all know covid. and because of it, i couldnt come home and wanted to lay in bed even more than normal. so i didnt push for it when he said he couldnt meet anybody in the summer because he didnt want to accidently give somebody it. just saying that cause this is a 2 ways road right, nothing is ever only his fault, its also mine. i want to rant about my feelings but i dont want to dismiss any mistakes i made yk. so we didnt meet up then.

christmas came and before then we were talking about christmas gift and i didnt wanna any so i didnt prepare anything also. this person is too nice and i dont want him to feel bad. but anw i just thought maybe we can still meet up even if its not for gift exchanging. but i didnt ask or anything at all cause well, hes from here, he has family and friends that are definitely closer to him, and he had work. i know hes busy and if he wanna hang out he know where to find me. i just dont want to accidentally add something more onto his list of to do. he would be too nice to say no. and we are not that close i dont want to add more work for him. i dont have relatives or friends here other than him so im free anytime if he wanted to meet up. but that didnt happen, i dont think we talked at all. which fine i hate to admit but i was hurt. ugh hate showing how vulnerable i am. yuck. yikes. -100/10.

i just didnt think about it? i didnt try to reach out either so that was my fault too but just, if he didnt care then i wont either. so i really didnt think about him anymore.

came reading week! it really was 1 year from the last time i saw him honestly. he asked to meet up and if i want to go somewhere and tbh no im in the countryside rn is that the corect word so there are no place to go. but i remembered this 2ndhand place i like to go sometimes and i hadnt gone in a while so why not. so we agreed on that. and i know he was probably just tired, and there are people who sigh a lot, its not uncommon. but not seeing him for a long while and knowing this is a place i suggested, him doing that really made me feel bad. i probably shouldnt, but couldnt get the thought that he was probably doing this just because hes friendly not because hes friend with me. it fucking sucked. when we got out and he dropped me back at my home i still felt so bad he didnt get to enjoy himself so i asked if we could watch jojo together. yeah he loves jojo. i dont really care for anime im so sr i prefer realing manga lmao sr.

now ok maybe im still being dumb, probably. but tldr i truly believe people can be friends and affectionate even when they are from opposite sex. it didnt work out so well cause i got molested lmao cause some other guy thought that was cool to do. so that honestly worsen my uh wariness of men. but like i said, i think ive said it, i trust this person. honestly i do, we hug a lot and i had never felt afraid of it. i believe he wont do anything. im just really comfortable around him. so we cuddled while watching anime, that had happened before im really sr if you think thats wrong, i still believe that could happen.

but maybe its because i was tense from thinking he really didnt enjoy hanging out with me that much. i kept connecting remembering what the molester did and while i just knew i swear i knew he wouldnt do anything like that, i couldnt get it out of my head. i felt bad for that but there were just 2 things that happened so similar to what happened with the molester. haizz he kinda laced our fingers together but it wasnt handholding, same thing happened once before with m-dude and it felt weird but i didnt want to question that friendship so i didnt. and at some point of jojo i kinda jumped and he held me back, not pulled me back or anything but was holding me in place, and it was probably to make me feel safe but honestly if anybody even use a little bit of force i will just think of when i finally got the courage to turn around to confront the other dude for touching me, he held me back and i couldnt move at all. i think i froze a bit.

argh back to the main story. see how i totally suck? hahaha just blaming this friend for something somebody else did. im so sorry, i suck.

well after that we picked up talking again but idk! was it me overthinking? was it? because it felt like he didnt want to talk to me at all. it was, how to say it. he was friendly yes he talked hmm. damn how-- it felt like he didnt care for what i said. its a feeling idk how to put into words. and that sucks. he didnt seem interested in me before, felt happy enough when we cuddled, then back to being uninterested. i knew i know he doesnt want me romantically. damnit am i only good now for hugs. are we friends? what i meant is not sex but am i only good for physical stuff? i dont fucking know, the m-dude obviously just want a fwb and i was to trusting to notice. is this my gut feeling or my anxiety idk!

another side story. another guy suddenly expressed interested in me right when covid hit but it was because he couldnt get over his ex so i stopped talking to him for a while and picked it back up when i thought he was no longer idk being annoying about it. i thought he had to at least like me as a person to even express he liked me romantically. but apparently not. he looked so uniterested suddenly and denied when i asked, then stopped reading my texts.

so you see. i just cant if haiz ok do- do anybody like me? just as a person? idk.

god i knew i fucking suck for being so sensitive and anxious and im sr for wanting stuff but maybe i want you to look like you care a bit when i said you are reminding me of the m-dude, instead of saying ok we can talk less then. i already felt like you dont want to talk to me, you dont have to say that...

officially crying heyho.

just saying no you dont dont like talking to me when your actions were saying the opposite is not cutting it either... i also thought highly of the covid confession guy too but what happened now. im sorry for comparing you to others! but i learn from experiences... and this was sus... (yah its a joke i cant help it.)

and if i just agreed and stopped talking to him right it just, felt like a confirmation that yeah its true hes just letting me hug him not because im his friend and he knows i like hugs so he lets me. but its more like its convenient that a girl is hugging him so he wont say no. something like that. that sucks. thats all im good for. if i were his friend, it would include the talking too.

ah!! i know we are not close, we are both casual friend. he is definitely not on my top list to tell stuff to but damn i still like him enough to hurt. and to not asking for too much.

so anw i kept talking with the anxiety that never got solved and that made me frustrated and i picked at his insecurity to made him hate me enough to stop talking to me cause i couldnt bring myself to stop, id feel so bad. this is really toxic and i admit this is not the first time ive done it, to a different person but its the same thing.

hahaha act like i hate him while just want him to see how i feel so bad. yeah im a tsundere.

it worked so i stopped talking to him for a week and focused on talking to my other friends. friends i know without a doubt love me and want me because i really didnt feel that with him at all. sorry i know you were tired with covid.

that made me felt better and i was not in panic mode anymore, i can calmly assess things now. and before, i felt bad because i truly believed i was just seeing things, i couldnt see pass my anxiety and was blaming him for what, nothing. he did want to talk to me. but my mind was clearer after that one week and yeah i cant really make more excuses? yes i was sensitive and made things worse, but there must be something for me to pick up first. it didnt just come out of thin air.

so i sent him some texts saying that, because just leaving without a word is bad communication. i have to tell him and at least give him a chance to change i guess? did he need change? im doubting myself.

i- hm he just said yeah his look and way of talking really make him look like hes tired and uninterested, and laughed at my marie kondo joke. you know the one. idk! all i saw in that was yeah thats how it is, accept it. and i-- i, cant? i dont want to... i dont want to :(

but my mindset for just about anything is value the process, not the result, like as long as you put work in! thats great! and he- he was, talking... he put work in..... i would feel so bad to deny it. but at the same time, it was not enough... i hate! to say you need to do at least this and that! but it didnt feel like enough..... im sorry :(((( i am.

ive talked about my tendency to lash out. last time i didnt want it but i had to get away quick so i didnt mean it but i still did it. but this time i was truly angry. because i just wished there was more care for me but i know that was all there was, and i couldnt do anything about it. couldnt even ignore him. he was even drier then, and i got it, i lashed out at him, ofc he wasnt going to be friendly. but just why were you trying so hard... no, no it was not trying hard, you were answering texts at the speed of once every 2 days. why were you answering at all? you clearly didnt want to. but again so was i. did i really have a say.

so i sent angry texts at him. about how fake his friendliness was, did he really consider me friend, why did he keep saying no it was not that he was uninterested while it was obvious that he was. also that i want to fight him. i really do want to. hopefully he will beat me up hard enough that i can be in a coma and die in 9 months idk. (listen 9 months is enough time to make a new human, if im not awake by then, you need to let me go, thats my wish.)

he said that no he doesnt like to fight and thats the last text i got from him.

because ofc i dont hate him him, the whole him idk what im saying. just angry and hate that hes not matching me on how we value this relationship i guess. not besties like how he likes to joke, but eh, was hoping more than what i was sensing. i still sent a text being like ok fine do you still want to talk and if so how do you want me to do. but he didnt answer it in time so i decided for him that nah we wont talk anymore.

heyho i was sad, i am sad. and ok hear me out, HEAR ME, i dont use tarot for future but just for my feelings and how to deal with them, and my deck said ok babe this is the end, you will have to move on now. so i will.

tbh lmao for every relationships that i emotionally invested in. i always make an essay on my feelings because thats how i conclude things, and so i wont forget that my feelings are legit. so the moment i started this post, hes dead to me i guess.

wow this post is long. but i did really like him so.

im moving to uni city next month but i know he will leave in the summer so i wont have to worry about seeing him then. and probably not further in the future either, we go to different uni and are quite far away and our common are not gonna question things i dont think. dont think they would even notice, we are not in a group or anything. and even if i do end up meeting him. my feelings while was anger, but it stemmed from sadness and disappointment so it wouldnt be too bad. on the other hand... m-dude..... i am afraid of meeting you, lets please please please not meet damnit.

[dudeandduchess]

Why the Moon Became the Sun: Giyuu x F!S/O (Mythology AU)

Rating: SFW Warnings: Language, Mention of Character Death (?)

Note: Hey hey, bbys! Since there was an overwhelming flood of responses from my earlier post, here’s that Giyuu scenario I was talking about. This one is based on the myth of Selene and Endymion, which is a favorite of mine.

My most favorite thing about this has to be Giyuu’s first and last lines. Very ‘poetic’. Lmao.

The moon goddess’ days used to be filled with so much joy. She used to take pride in what she did; whenever she took to the skies and headed the transition of day into night.

Her skillful hands would touch upon the clouds and draw them away from where they covered the stars; all with a serene smile on her face, as she loved doing her duties.

The sight of the humans below her admiring her handiwork was enough thanks for her. However, the longer that she kept on with her tasks, the lonelier she became.

Because with the night came the time for rest. Very few humans would stay up until dawn to keep the moon and the stars company; and even fewer would be enchanted enough to talk to (Y/n) herself.

They called her Tsukuyomi, but that was merely a placeholder name. Her real name— the one which her father had given to her was (Y/n); it was the name that her brother called her, and it was also the name she used whenever she came across peculiar mortals.

In her loneliness, she would seek out mortals who worked under the guise of night. She hoped for one of them to notice her presence, but no one ever did. They were too busy with their own business; some slaying demons, while others travelled far and wide to sell their goods.

She had tried to find a companion for so long, that she’d given up on the idea of it altogether. Her brother had been right all along: they were destined to live our long and lonely lives.

However, it wasn’t until she had been spotted by a demon slayer, and mistaken for a mortal woman that her heart had began beating once more. She felt so alive and energized that she hung on to the young man’s every word.

“Are you alright?” The dark-haired man had asked her. His voice was so gentle that it had her blushing all the way to the tips of her ears. Because in all her years of life, she had never had a man talk to her like that.

“I... I’m alright,” (Y/n) answered hesitantly, all while admiring his handsome features.

“What are you doing out here in the forest? Is there a demon nearby? Was it following you?” The young man asked as he checked over the stranger’s façade. She didn’t seem to have any injuries, which prompted him to pull her up to stand with him.

“A demon? No,” (Y/n) answered with a shake of her head. “My name’s (Y/n)... but you may know me better as Tsukuyomi.”

“I don’t know any people named Tsukuyomi. But I’m Tomioka Giyuu; I’m a demon slayer,” Giyuu answered bluntly, which had (Y/n) laughing heartily at his words.

Most people would have already dismissed her musings as sordid and crazy, but not him. He’d simply brushed her answer off as if it meant nothing.

And that was the start of a beautiful friendship between them.

(Y/n) followed Giyuu everywhere he went in the daytime, as her duties had already ended and she was free to roam around and slack off. But when night came, she regretted leaving him to continue the transition between day and night.

She had told him of her true identity and, after much explaining, he had finally understood that she wasn’t a mere mortal. Then began the next phase of their relationship; from friends, they became lovers...

It was inevitable from the very start, as both of them had felt their hearts yearning for one another. From that first moment they saw each other, it was as if something had been triggered inside (Y/n) that she simply couldn’t stay away from Giyuu.

Even though she was tired from her duties, she would always go to see him; to spend time with him and fill her days with hours spent in his arms.

The same could be said for Giyuu, as he consciously made an effort to make time for his beloved goddess. His tasks as slayer and as a Hashira were spaced out evenly, so that he could still do them to the best of his ability, while still managing to shower (Y/n) with all the love and attention she deserved.

Their love was a spectacle that was bathed in nothing but bliss.

And with every night that passed by, Giyuu would always look forward to seeing his beloved slowly float down from the sky. He would always wait for her, eyes heavenward and arms stretched out to catch her.

Their days were filled with love and endless happiness, but both of them knew that it couldn’t be possible to keep that degree of bliss without repercussions, so (Y/n) took to asking her brother for advice on how to become a mortal.

“There’s no way to give up your immortality, (Y/n). You were born with it, and you will continue to exist with it. Your mortal lover will grow old and fade away, and he will turn to nothing in your memories soon enough,” Amaterasu, her brother, answered her query with a flippant wave of his hand.

She didn’t take too kindly to his answer though, as she knew that a lecher like him would never understand how she felt. So, with an angry shove, she overpowered the Sun deity’s own powers with her own— thus instigating the first Solar Eclipse.

“You absolute bastard!” She cried out irately, as her brother got up from where he’d landed on the floor and righted things; with regards to both the world and to his askew clothes. “Have you never fallen in love with anyone— so in love with them that you’re willing to leave all of this behind for them?”

(Y/n) gestured to the lavish home built around them. It was their palace up in the sky; well away from the prying gazes of mortals and lesser gods.

There the sun and moon didn’t switch places in the sky; they simply hung together on opposite sides of the spectrum, as their surroundings were bathed in nothing but brightness.

Instantly, the scowl on the young god’s face morphed into a somber expression, before he shook his head and clicked his tongue— as if debating with himself whether or not to divulge his knowledge to his sister.

In the end, he gave in. Because he had also loved a mortal once... she had refused his offer to turn into a mortal for her, and had grown old and faded away; as all humans were fated to do. And he didn’t want his sister to suffer through the same pain that he had, as he was sure that she would never heal from it like he hadn’t.

“You can put him under an eternal sleep,” He began softly, while (Y/n) listened attentively to his words. “So that he will never grow old and die.”

And with that, (Y/n) set out to do just as her brother told her to.

She had lured Giyuu to the top of of a wisteria-covered mountain. And once there, she had lulled him to sleep with the power of her own song.

Every night, when she was done with all of her tasks, she would go to him and wrap herself in his arms— pretending that he was awake and that they were talking just as they had before.

She would plant kisses upon his skin, reveling in the smiles that would occasionally tug up at the corners of his lips, but it wasn’t the same as when he was awake.

Day after day, even though she had tried to suppress her feelings of guilt and sadness, she couldn’t hold them back anymore. Giyuu’s constant silence had made her long to hear his voice, even if to only ask how her day had been.

A handful of months without hearing his voice was pure torture to her.

She had fallen so deeply for his personality, rather than his looks, that physically being with him wasn’t enough. She wanted him just as he was... even if she would have to face his inevitable death someday.

And so, with a heavy sigh, she released her magic around him and watched as his eyes fluttered open.

“(Y/n)? What are we doing here?” Giyuu asked with bleary eyes. He blinked his gaze back into focus, and frowned when he saw the tears that kept rolling down his beloved’s cheek.

Slowly, he rose up from where he laid on the ground and cupped her cheek in his right hand; wiping away another tear that fell down her face.

“I did a horrible thing to you and I’m so sorry, Giyuu. Please forgive me; I only wanted to be with you forever,” The goddess admitted through her tears, then went on to explain how she had put him under a spell to make him sleep for eternity— thus aiming to keep him alive forever.

He knew that he should have been mad at her for doing so, but he couldn’t fault her for it; as he understood how she felt. In fact, if there was a way that he could be with her forever— aside from becoming a demon— he would have already done so long ago.

So, with all the love he had for her, he gathered his goddess up in his arms and pressed gentle kisses upon the crown of her head. “One day I’ll be reborn, and when that day comes I’ll do everything I can to find you. You just have to be patient until then. It’s going to be alright, (Y/n).”

And after that day, they spent every moment they could together.

(Y/n), in an effort to keep her lover safe while he was on his missions, had switched with her brother to be the handler of the sun.

Since Giyuu only held his missions at night, it was important for (Y/n) to fully stay beside him so she could protect him; and she couldn’t do that if she still had her nightly tasks to take care of.

Thus, she had asked her brother if they could exchange domains, so that she could not only stay with Giyuu at night, but so that she could also serve as his salvation when morning came.

And they stayed that way, until the inevitable end of Giyuu’s days.

((If you liked my work, please consider buying me a ko-fi. Thank you so much! :D))

[forgenotes-archived]

okay nevermind i’m doing the parent meta now !

OKAY ! S O ! i’m focusing this in three sections :  1- the matching pair of patio dinner scenes, 2- the “patronize bunny rabbits” scene, and 3- the two convos they have when they confront her about jd’s suicide bait and after barbara finds veronica faux-hanging in her room. i’m also putting it under a read-more bc like. it’s going to be A Fucking Doozy.

in this essay, i will - 

PART ONE -  PATIO SCENES . 

this one is more set-up to portray how shallow their arguments are in the second section? but it’s still important for me to get across how. absolutely DISGUSTING it is that they treat heather’s funeral with the same tone and cadence as the remington party. it logically makes sense that veronica would be more blase about it, seeing as she Actually Did It, but like. one of the stages of grief is denial. 

the beats of both conversations go: come sit down! how was the first day since break/heather’s death go? meet any cute boys? why do i read these books or smoke these cigars/because you’re an idiot/ oh, you too. gotta motor to party/funeral. completely identical tone and delivery, all the way down to mirroring the word choices in each scene. and it’s entirely intentional!! this is a tonal and thematic choice to further hammer home the fact that adults do not care about what happens in the lives of the youth, which is arguably the real villain of the film- complete and utter apathy. i could go on about that shit for ages but i will do that later lmao-

but like. as parents. first of all, you shouldn’t care so little about your child that somebody could predict exactly what you’re going to say before you say it, that you work off a script, even WITHOUT a massive traumatic event happening to them. they clearly acknowledge heather’s death, they just move past it completely dismissively. it’s disgusting and it clearly sets up that they don’t actually see her as a person, in all reality- her death is just a marker of the time, not the loss of someone important to their child. they don’t know the intricacies of their toxic friendship, so all they know is their daughter’s best friend killed herself. that is NOT the correct reaction to that situation. 

this further exemplifies the idea, for me at least, that their main objective is to keep up appearances rather than build a strong, stable, healthy human being in their care. as long as everything looks alright, sounds alright, it is alright for all intents and purposes. there is no WAY that conversation does not REEK of neglect. 

PART TWO -  PATRONIZING BUNNY RABBITS .

this is mostly barbara, but henry shows his blatant idiocy for a brief moment, too. the biggest part of this scene is barbara’s “little miss voice-of-a-generation, you ARE being treated like human beings” spiel, specifically because she’s not right at all when she says it. or half-right. it’s complicated.

she’s right when she says it’s not just a game of “doubles tennis” and that adults can be horrible to each other too- that’s like. objectively fact. but that’s a non sequitur argument and not at all relevant to the topic at hand, in all reality; because in saying that, barbara has likened people being assholes at work or talking behind each other’s back with EXPLOITING CHILDREN’S SUICIDES FOR FAME. barbara changes the argument in order to make veronica look irrational- what she wants is for people to be fucking NICE to each other, which isn’t an un-noble goal to have. 

veronica wants people to give everyone decent respect, and she’s learned that isn’t possible in the way things are at the moment. she’s frustrated, she’s angry, she’s dealing with guilt and fear? she’s dealing with a fuckton! and she’s mad that flemming is exploiting the death of a student (never mind her personal feelings involved with chandler, she still knows this is wrong) for television crews and ribbons. she sees that flemming ALSO doesn’t care about her students other than for appearances. she’s seeing similarities between all the adults in her life, and she’s finally ready to snap. 

barbara saying “when teenagers are mad about not being treated like human beings, that’s usually because they are being treated like one” (or whatever the exact quote is) basically solidifies the fact that there will be no change in the way people are going to act in these situations. they are not listening to veronica’s point of view here, and they are changing the scope of the argument to make her look unreasonable to dismiss her again, and they explicitly say, a la bethesda, “we aren’t planning on doing anything about it”. 

it’s an important discussion because barbara isn’t. entirely incorrect! she’s just brute-forced the argument into a different direction so that veronica can’t be correct anymore, either. 

also- note that she offers veronica pate at the end of it; she’s trying to return to the status quo, to proper appearances. sneaky bitch. 

PART THREE -  YOU’RE SUICIDAL .

this is. where they come out of their shells a little bit more, as parents, but i’m not entirely positive it’s for the right reasons. 

they are actually concerned, now that death is on their doorstep; however, it very clearly seems like showing this kind of care and emotion is foreign or new in their relationship. instead of sitting her down and asking her how she’s feeling, if she’s dealing with all of this okay, if there’s anything they can do to help- they start rambling off the instructions jd, a literal teenager, more than half their ages, gave them. they have NO idea how to deal with this situation, which is. partially understandable? there is no prenatal parenting class that teaches you how to navigate if your kid grows up to be suicidal, but. there’s obvious things that you can do that they just flat out did not.

they didn’t even notice she’d left the room! they were so wrapped up in their own chaotic “keep away from sharp things, toxins, high ledges, etc.” that she just. left the room. and they didn’t notice she was gone until she was already in her room! 

rather than saying this is evidence towards the fact that they don’t care about their daughter (which i don’t actually believe, for this part at least), it feels more like proof that they have never cared about her in this particular fashion- which is, to say, genuinely. having an emotional and caring connection is new, and they don’t know how to do it; which points towards them never having done it before in ronnie’s 18 years of life. which is severely damaging to a child turned young adult. 

later on, when barbara finds her hanging from the fake noose, i’d like to just. take a look at what she says-

“i should’ve let you get that job at the mall, i was just worried about you coming home late-” 

what. in the ENTIRE fuck. was that?

her ONLY THOUGHT when confronted with the DEAD BODY of her ONLY CHILD is that the ONLY THING ronnie could have been upset about, or the only thing she could’ve changed in her treatment towards her daughter, was getting a summer job. i know this line is supposed to be a joke (heathers is a black comedy, after all), but jesus fucking christ, barbara. get a grip. veronica has all but told them what’s been bothering her, up to and including the death of her best friend and the subsequent treatment of it (albeit not in a particularly forward or constructive manner, but can you blame her? seeing who raised her?), but barbara is the sort of person that would give a eulogy that said “i never could have imagined she would have done this. she seemed so happy! if only she’d asked for help... if only she’d reached out to us... we would have SAVED her...” while ignoring all the warning signs. 

CONCLUSION -  IE , I RAMBLE FOR A BIT .

in canon specifically, there’s no way that there’s a healthy relationship between veronica and her parents. they care more about LOOKING happy than BEING happy and that’s a huge problem in a lot of parent-child relationships, especially at the time this movie was made. not only that, but like. they don’t believe there’s anything WRONG with the way they are, and that’s most likely the most damaging thing about the dynamic. barbara and henry sawyer are neglectful, dismissive, unempathetic, mostly uncaring, and obsessed with their outward appearance; but they don’t think that’s a bad thing, and that has massively fucked up veronica’s mental health in a VARIETY of ways. i’ll talk about the effects on her at a later date, bc this shit is already over 1k words and my brain has now turned into super mario sunshine goo. 

[nemirutami]

I'd like to know literally everything about Goro in this AU. What's he planning, what's wrong with his hands? /everything/

I can’t speak for straylize bc our two Akechi’s are very different, so I can’t answer your “hands” question since that’s strictly in her version of the AU. I can answer what my Akechi will do (spoilers tho) and some of his backstory. Tbh getting questions like this helps from writing long descriptions on art.

I’m going to ramble for a while bc when else is anyone rlly gonna ask me for Akechi content.

My Akechi ran away from a different region at a young age (reasons unknown) to look for a new home. A palace guard from the Arisato kingdom found him, felt sorry for him, and asked the king if he could take care of him. The king basically agreed only on the condition that 1) He be raised/groomed to serve the Arisatos and 2) He should be taught his place early on so he doesn’t break rules or overstep boundaries (since he was raised outside the kingdom prior to this and they’ve got no clue where he’s actually from).

Since my Akechi arrived at the palace when he was young, he got to grow up around Akira and Minato (although, not exactly to the same extent Akira and Minato did giving their relationship as prince and future retainer). He got to see the young nobles spend time at the palace (as a kid, he was curious when there were other kids around and wanted to hang out, understandably?) but there was always a kid in the mix that didn’t look like he belonged with the nobles, and that was Akira. It gave Akechi a sense of hope that, maybe, he’d make friends with Minato and Akira? And the other kids? Regardless of their ranks? Because Akira looked like an outsider compared to the prince, and yet he was the closest to the prince? 

Minato and Akechi actually bump into each other during one of these meet ups because Minato runs off to steal popsicles for everyone from the pantry (Akira dared him jokingly and he took it seriously) and Akechi as a young child starts mouthing apologies and remorse over “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have spied on you!” and Minato just “…” because man, Akechi got so scared of being penalized for peeking that he just ran his mouth for a straight minute. Minato offers him a popsicle before the guards interrupt them. That’s the only interaction he’s ever had with the young prince, and it’s at that early age. So, overall, Akira has no memory of Akechi or Minato ever meeting, but Minato and Akechi have an early fond memory to share when shit hits the fan later down the line.

Akechi basically spends his childhood longing for friendship he can’t have, while, once he grows up enough to climb ranks, spends every waking hour trying to get into the military (because that’s where Akira is the most, and he’s always wanted to have a casual conversation with Akira and ask him more personal questions. How are the nobles like? What’s the king like? Was it fun growing up with him? Do you have any hobbies? WANNA GO OUT FOR COFFEE I KNOW YOU LIKE COFFEE AM I SUBTLE ENOUGH YET? Etc.) but climbing ranks is very difficult and can take years.

That’s why, once Akechi manages to finally pass the test with hard work, he feels cheated when it’s taken away just because “the current king needs to approve of you, too”. To put more salt on the wounds, since they were attacked and a number of people died, they’re actually low on members. The military took a hit, so they do need new members, problem is, not only soldiers were killed in the hell that transpired during that war. Akechi’s forced to remain a kitchen attendant because there’s not a lot of people they can afford to train to know their way around such a complex kitchen right now. Even if Akechi can take the test, and pass again, it’ll at least be a year or two until the Kingdom collects itself before he can climb to the position of soldier and go outside to do field work like he wants. He grows so bitter over it, but he promises himself he’ll reach Akira one day.

The sad thing is, he never will.

Not with honest work. 

Much like in themes of P5, the world, sometimes, can be really unfair. People who are born into the right family (IE- The Kurusu Family) get special privileges. People who keep in touch with them or work close to them sometimes benefit from knowing them or being kind to them. Connections help you climb ranks. Sucking up helps you climb ranks. Although, obviously, it only works selectively, and Akira’s time is really limited because of all the shit he has to do. So, when a kitchen attendant walks up to him to converse or ask for a favor, he won’t take it seriously, and will tell him to “go talk to someone his own rank” if he wants a favor, because to Akira- there’s nothing valuable Akechi can do for him in his position. The problem Akira doesn’t realize is that he’s keeping Akechi in his position by dismissing him, therefore rendering anything he can contribute to a clean zero. He’s not doing this to be a shit to Akechi. He’s doing it because that’s what the Kurusu’s were raised to do. A Kurusu’s only job is to act as the King’s human shield. Anything that looks like it might waste his time or pull him away from that will just be dismissed. What can a kitchen attendant do for him? What benefit will Akira have speaking to someone beneath him with no real ties to other nobles? He isn’t looking to make friends or socialize, so all he does is dismiss Akechi.

Akechi, who grew up admiring Akira, wishing to be close to him one day, to be like him one day, begins to loathe him for what he’s become. Because true, Akira was different before he took on his retainer position, but that’s partly because Minato almost died and both their parents were murdered in the war. Enforcing that Rank policy was the only way to keep people organized and keep them within their own lane not to complicate his work.

Akechi asks about the position to join the military often, but Akira’s answer is always “The King is busy right now,” which is true, but dismissing Akechi’s problems like that is still cold. 

It gets so bad that Akechi has to sneakily make his way to Minato personally without permission to ask him about the position. He’s breaking rules (something he only considers because he’s getting desperate). He’s afraid to get penalized, but he’s hinging his bets on Minato’s punishment being lenient since that seems to be a running theme and the talk of everyone around (given Minato’s not executed anyone as of yet regardless of their crime- so anything that isn’t a death sentence will be worth it to him HE DOESN’T CARE…).

Dumb boy actually mANAGES TO SNEAK INTO MINATO’S OFFICE SPACE AND CASUALLY STARTS WITH “Hi” like a dumbass and startles the hell out of Minato so much that Minato automatically reacts to shout for the guards. Akechi starts mouthing apologizes instantly like “I’m sorry, this will only take a minute!” and “I know I shouldn’t have snuck in, but-!” and it’s like something clicks in Minato’s mind like. This seems really familiar. And he just.Oh.You’re the kid that runs his mouth a lot.Ok gotcha, I don’t feel that afraid now lmao.

Akechi manages to tell Minato his rank and occupation before Minato makes a call for them, though, and it calms him somewhat. Seeing Minato so easily startled up close shows Akechi that his king is stressed and that something’s very wrong? But he doesn’t know what. During the early years, they’ve had a huge number of assassination attempts, most of which Minato is unaware of, but some of them, he knows pretty well because some actually came close. So, seeing Akechi just WALK IN… without a sound to boot… yeah.

Minato doesn’t penalize him but he does say something along the lines of “God, I will fucking slam that door in your face next time you enter without permission.” Not exactly like this, but he’s shouting this version in his head lmao and giving Akechi the kind version. Akechi tells him about his troubles, and Minato’s just “…This is the first time I’m hearing about it. Why didn’t you approach me sooner?” Minato he fucking tried ok it’s hard. Because at this point it’s been like… several years? Akechi’s been waiting it out as he was told, meanwhile, Minato wasn’t aware of his issues at all. Something always came first. It shows how fucked the system is for people who aren’t high enough on the list. The news never even reached Minato because so many other things took precedence over his issues.

Minato though, wanting to take action immediately as soon as a problem presents itself, decides to leave what he was doing to try and appease Akechi because… having to wait several years is a long waiting time just to join the military? Minato can’t promote him right away (given how much he actually has left to do) but at the very least, he gives Akechi a date where he’ll initiate it personally much like his father did for all new soldiers. Minato also apologizes to him? And it makes Akechi feel guilty because hey, look at that, Minato would have done the thing if he had just known. Makes him feel guilty for sneaking into Minato’s office without permission. Makes him feel guilty for not even getting penalized but for getting a promotion instead. His moral compass gets a little fucked at this point when he realizes that this is the first time he’s broken the rules, and it’s the only time he’s ever benefited. He shouldn’t feel guilty for getting what he deserves, in his opinion? It’s the method with which he reached it, but no other methods were working, so, was it really that bad of a thing?

It starts a downwards spiral of more things after he becomes soldier. Certain more experienced soldiers get sent on specific missions, while Akechi mostly tends to things within the palace again. He never gets to meet high ranked soldiers or people he thinks will help him up his rank to get closer to the king, and unless he actually does something extraordinary (of which the chances are very slim) he won’t be able to make a huge impression enough to get promoted above C rank (the lowest military rank).

So. He figures. Alright… I broke the rules that one time. I guess spreading a little rumor about this one soldier might kick him off field work for a while. So, he spreads a lie, feels a little guilty, but it’s easier than sneaking into Minato’s HQ. Plus, there’s no penalty just for a little rumor that they can’t even trace back to him for certain. Guy he’s spreading rumors about naturally has to step down from a mission, and one of the rookies has to take over. Akechi offers to go, and that’s how he slowly starts his manipulation streak to get to the top. It isn’t fair to others. But what did the others ever do to him? They ignored him for years just because he wasn’t important enough to them- so, they can go fuck themselves for all he cares. 

Minor misdemeanors turn into actual crimes over several years where he loses himself more and more, becoming so corrupt he can hardly think about friendship anymore but about power and the benefit it will have if he manages to get close to the king. At Rank A, he has such bloodstained hands that he doesn’t care about Akira’s friendship. His only motive now is to find something incriminating on Akira to kick Akira down from his position. “Dethrone” a Kurusu? The Kurusus were special breeds, and he’s always wanted to put Akira in his place because he’s always struggled, but Akira was handed friendship, love, and yet treated everyone else like they were secondary. Problem is that Akechi doesn’t actually understand Akira’s purpose as Kurusu. 

Akira’s purpose is to only really care for the King’s best interest, not anyone elses. So, anything Akira can do to make Minato’s life easier, he does, and not telling Minato about Akechi’s problems is just an extension of that sense of duty. It’s something Akira does to everyone because it’s how he was raised. King first, you second, nation last. The reason he comes second is because he’d sacrifice himself for his king, but not for his people. If he died for a civilian or a rank beneath him, Minato would be exposed to threats, and his life would be in danger. It’s something Akechi can’t know because he wasn’t raised knowing the ins and outs of the Kurusu family. So it creates a divide between them where Akechi constantly calls Akira out on how shitty he’s being to everyone who isn’t Minato, and Akira basically going “yeah, that’s my fucking job, asshole, i’m not here to please you or pat you on the head for doing a good job, go get friends your own rank if you want that” in not exactly those words lmao but something similar.

CLAPS HANDS. THIS HAS BEEN A LONG RAMBLE THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TAMTALK I’LL GLADLY TALK MORE ABOUT AKECHI because I love writing him and his descent into the most corrupted mindset just to get ahead. This isn’t even all of it, this is just the buildup to the shit that leads Akechi to become Minato’s second personal retainer…

That’s right Akira, Akechi is coming for yOUR JOB.

[musical-chick-13]

Ser Davos too XD

YAY ONION DAD I LOVE HIM (also, sorry these are so late, grad work is...how you say...a Bitch™)

Send me a character and I’ll tell you the following:

• Did they live up to their potential? / In what ways was their potential unachieved?

-Obviously I’m talking show here because. Again. The books aren’t finished. Lmao. I’m not completely sure how to answer this one. Because, as I mentioned in the Melisandre ask, there was never any kind of...actual wrap up to his conflict with her? She just...laid down and died. Mainly I’m kind of sad that he was kind of reduced to a Jon Snow hype man in the later seasons. There were some tiny threads of his continued fight for doing what he considered to be the right thing, through his outburst at Melisandre after finding out about Shireen and trying to prevent Grey Worm from executing the prisoners in season 8, but he really kind of stopped having his own arcs after Stannis died. And...Stannis was also involved in Shireen’s death? That was never addressed, and considering Davos’s actual, mostly consistently decent moral compass, the conflict between honoring the memory of a much-loved friend and holding that friend responsible for the death of, essentially Davos’s surrogate child, was something that we needed to see for a satisfying through-line of his characterization. The narrative ignoring that was a crime, honestly.

• How they negatively and positively affected the story.

-The thing about Davos is that he injects (most of the time) a sense of realistic good into the story. He’s not perfect, but he does earnestly try to do the right thing and stick to his morals and save people, even if he has to anger people he cares about or respects in the process. It’s a much-needed relief from all of the duplicitous power plays and extreme violence almost everyone else engages in. His goodness isn’t bound to honor like Ned (and Jon tbh), or to absolute justice like Stannis, or to gaining the respect of/lessening the ostricization from his peers (like Jaime sort of attempts to do sometimes), or to The Greater Good™ as a whole (like show Varys or like Melisandre tries to do). He simply does what he feels is right, and this provides a touchstone of hope and groundedness to the story.

-As I mentioned above, in-show he kind of...existed later on primarily to support Jon, and I never really understood why? I didn’t see anything that provided proof of some sort of unbreakable bond or deep friendship, and I felt like there was no real catalyst for him attaching himself to Jon in anything other than a mutually beneficial allyship? This in and of itself isn’t something I’m going to quibble over a great deal, but it didn’t help in regard to the at times overdramatic, heavy-handed painting of Jon as The Savior of the World Who Is Always Right Always. Which, in my opinion, any work is going to suffer from building up any character in that manner.

• What my favorite arc for them is.

OH no question about this one at all, it’s when he blames Melisandre for the failure at Blackwater, gets thrown in jail for trying to assassinate her, later gets released for giving sound advice to Stannis (while bonding with Shireen 😊), and then RISKS HIS NEWLY-FOUND FREEDOM AND POSITION AS HAND (THE MAN. JUST. GOT OUT OF JAIL. BY WAY OF “EVERY ACT MUST HAVE A JUST™ RETRIBUTION BECAUSE RULES” STANNIS) TO SMUGGLE OUT EDRIC STORM (Gendry in the show). In either case, he rescues a bastard child, a class of people most dismiss as worthless and embarrassing, because it’s the right thing to do. He gives into violence (granted, he is doing what he sees as eliminating a dangerous threat) with his attempt on Mel’s life, and then directly disobeys his best friend, king, and person he loves and respects to stop further violence from entering the world. Which is especially poignant after witnessing Mel’s shadow assassin baby and seeing the violence that wrought. After everything done to him and his giving into violent impulse, he could have completely lost himself and gone full Dark™, but he doesn’t. He pulls himself back and saves a young man’s life, even at great risk to himself, because that person’s death would be unfair. And, for once in this miserable setting, he isn’t killed off for it. He provides valuable information to Stannis about the White Walkers through his newfound literacy, (which, in the show-can’t remember if it was mentioned in the books or not, it’s been awhile-is further corroborated by Melisandre, gaining her support) and is allowed to live. GOD that line where Stannis asks what is the worth of a bastard’s life against a kingdom and Davos answers, “Everything”???!!!! IT GETS ME!!! EVERY TIME!!!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• What I think of their ending.

-I would have loved more introspection: how does he deal with not being able to bring Melisandre to justice? How does he feel about all the things Stannis did in the name of claiming his so-called rightful title? How does he cope with losing another authority figure he can no longer serve now that Jon has been exiled? Ultimately, I’m happy for him. I think his general sense of morality (including disputing authority figures for the sake of saving lives) will serve Bran’s small council well, and considering his smuggling background and resultant expertise with ships, rebuilding the fleet is a fitting end for him.

• When I wish they had died. / If I think they should’ve died.

I think it’s good that he didn’t die. One, I would be sad. Two, there would not have been any narrative reason for him to do so. I remember getting to the Red Wedding, and I went, “Yeah, I can see why GRRM wrote this in order to move the story along.” No such plot furtherance would have resulted from killing off Davos. It would have just been for shock value (like Shireen, which you KNOW how I feel about that...). And third, it’s good that basic decency gets a win. Brienne is very morally good, but is left heartbroken by Jaime. Dany was made out to be good (though I myself will dispute that idea), but went off the deep end and ended up posing a bigger threat to Westeros than anyone else. Jon felt forced to do the unthinkable and got exiled for it, which has to dampen Sansa’s victory at least a little bit. And plenty of good characters have already been killed off. Many of season 8′s survivors emotionally ended up in a worse place than they started, but Davos had already been at an emotional low. His ending served to lift him up to a higher place than he had been before. And for a show as bleak as this, it needed that glimmer of hope, that doing the right thing can give you an untempered victory and keep you alive.

[res-sen-selfshipping]

Jojo Dreamlog #7.5

V1(1st person)     V2(3rd person?)

Second version of Dream #7 because I couldn’t pick how to write this one out. “I” refers to the reader in this one I guess. Classification technicalities are wrong, but whatever lmao

The environment looks like something out of blues clues, but more like a fairytale pop-up book. We’re at my elementary school (my sister and I but we’re elementary age now like just about everyone else there) and it’s a boarding school. This school didn’t look like just a public school though, there was a part that was red velvet walls and high class decoration like an mansion made a couple years before 2000 with a casino-rich-people-dining-hall feel. It’s not just a dining room and it’s also used for classes and testing and conferences.

I’m in a class conference with other students. I’m called on, but I don’t want to be there and I don’t want to comply; I resist. Sensing my resistance, an excuse is made to get the both of us to leave early. I’m grateful for this, but I’m child and all I know are my confusion and tired apathy for being in the school.

The one who got us excused is a younger version of Bruno. The dream has just started but I know that he’s always been nice to me since we’ve been here; I couldn’t tell you why though. I try not to be rude to him while we walk down the hall since I feel grumpy and conflicted on what he’s done. He’s talking to me--mostly small talk--but I give quick and straightforward replies, trying to end the conversation. He’s always smiling around me and I never know why; a puzzle I cannot solve. Doing what he can to be around me, a smile on his face, but I’ve never smiled for him. Never at him, never with him, never because of him.

This place doesn’t bring me the joy; or at the very least, joy as a child would perceive it. I’ve made friends and I stick by my sister; I care about her well-being after all. Time seems to pass while we all stay here, and I slowly begin to open up to others. It’s only done because I wanted to: I wanted to feel close friendship to someone, yet it still all feels superficial to me, that all these friends don’t really matter no matter how much time is spent with them.

Bruno hangs around me more and more. It’s not surprising, but not unwelcomed. I’m used to him now; I see him more than once a day and oddly enough I’m at peace. Is this what it’s like to feel happiness? Not even the real thing, it’s nothing close to joy, but even just a sliver of it? Do others get to feel this way everyday? How nice that must be...

But nothing good lasts as long as you’d hope. What I’ve found is stripped from me as soon as I begin to understand. 

We’re in a classroom, the teacher takes the front as usual. Bruno is going away, we’re told. You’re going away. But why? The class signs a card for him, decorated with scribbles and small phrases of well wishes. We’re all preparing special things for him, gifts and a celebration, because he’s going away soon. In addition to the class card, we all make individual ones: it’s standard and like the others. You’re leaving all of us... He’s preparing to go now, even though he won’t be gone for a couple more days. Why are you leaving? The teacher is smiling and the rest follow suit. Is it a good thing you’re leaving? Have you gotten into a better school? Are you going to a better place to live? No one seems to detect that something could be wrong--that it was wrong that he was leaving. Why would he? He has many friends, was in the good graces of everyone, and the living status was great. So obviously only good things happen to him. Was something wrong with me? Why was I the only one who didn’t like this idea? Where are you leaving to? I don’t know why; I just don’t want him to. 

Everyone goes along with what the teacher says, and when the time came, Bruno graciously received all our gifts. I choose not to give it to him with the others. Everything goes smoothly, everyone followed the status quo, nothing was out of place, and all the other kids laughed and smiled. I’m supposed to be happy, but I’m not.

The in-class celebration is over and everyone is dismissed. A couple of younger kids from another class hang around Bruno as we leave he classroom. We pass by my locker and I give him my gift. A smile lights his face once again; how typical. After taking the time to take in what I wrote, he beams like it’s the best gift he’s ever received. 

“Thank you so much!”

How silly, to be pleased by such as simple and basic card. He reaches behind his back. And- He prepared a card for me as well. Why?!

At first I don’t hear him, I can’t hear him. I can’t look him in the eye and the children with him look at me wide-eyed as if they don’t understand what’s going on but can feel the tension anyway. His voice is solemn when he tells me the truth. His days are numbered. He’s dying and he’s been sick, but not in a way that affected him physically. He tells me that tomorrow- Tomorrow... Tomorrow he will be leaving. There’s nothing that could be done. 

I don’t want him to. I want him to stay and continue the days like always. But I know he can’t and I can’t do anything about it no matter how much I want to. I don’t know what to do with myself. I miss him already even though he’s right in front of me. I’m a child, I want you to stay right where you are and never change. I can’t accept this... It’s shocking and hurts so much I cry in front of him. 

Why do you have to go? How did this happen? Why can’t anything be done about it? He tries to comfort me, but the pain is too much. So I run. I can’t bear the pain of being so near you but being so, so close to losing you as well. I run and stay as far away as I can so the pain can’t hurt me. I avoid Bruno the rest of the day.

The distance helps and I’m becoming more numb; the pain doesn’t hurt me. But it doesn’t stop the thoughts of Bruno from flooding my mind. 

My sister and I are on a walk when I know his final moments are drawing near. What’s going to happen when you’re gone? Do you want me there with you? I don’t want you to feel alone... Everything comes crashing down on me in a painful realization and I know I have to go back. I have to be there for him when he needs me, I have to give back what he gave me. 

I want to see you again before you go. 

I run and everything hurts, but none of it matters. I’ve cared about him from the very beginning without even knowing it and without so much as a thought I know and feel that this love has to be returned. 

I want you to stay and be with me like it was before! Please let me be with you even though I haven’t done you any good. I love you and I can’t bear the thought of losing you. 

I hope and pray I make it in time from the distance I put myself at; and soon, I can see him in the distance. I call out and he turns to look at me. He’s been waiting there for me. I can tell I don’t have long, I’m almost there! Just a couple more feet and-

“Thank you for everything”

 He smiles and disappears.

“I love you!” I call even though I missed him by seconds. I loved everything about him but never gave  back what was given to me and it’s too late now. I can’t do anything, just like I have the entire time, but I know it’s pointless to cry and agonize over what is done. I miss you and it hurts me, but I loved you and you’ll live on with me forever.

[friedesgreatscythe]

i have such a hard time asking for help--not because of pride or anything like that, but because i hate being a burden on people and don’t want to inconvenience them by needing them. so when my psychiatrist gently brought up once again that i can call his office any time i need anything, if anything comes up and if i’m feeling bad in between visits, i immediately dismissed it in my head as something i shouldn’t do.

he is the one fucking person i SHOULD reach out to when i need help, not only because he gets paid for it, but because he’s said repeatedly that the point of being me in DBT is that we work together to come to healthier goals and ways of thinking about myself. i shouldn’t have to do that alone. i’ve done it alone already for so long, and it could only do so much.

and it’s a human thing, to need other people. it’s human and understandable to lean on friends you care about for support, or reach out to doctors who have your health and safety in mind.

so while i know i SHOULD contact him (because inevitably something terrible will happen to me week to week, and i do feel more panicky and nervous lately, more than i ought to), i’m still like................ “no you’re just going to bother him. no, keep it to yourself. you don’t want people to get sick of you, right? so shut up and deal with it.”

i feel this way about reaching out to my best friend, too. my best fucking friend! because i’m so convinced that everything that makes up my damage(TM) will drive people away, or attract the worst kind of person to me. it’s one or the other: if i trust the person and need to confide in them, i’m risking our friendship each time i need their help. if i don’t really know the person, but they reach out to me first, i’m convinced they’re just going to hurt me worse.

and i’ve known this for a while, but some time ago i realized that a lot of my beliefs about men (it’s always cismen, seriously, always) have been informed not only by the assault, but by something much more insidious and cruel, and that was my first serious relationship, which was as unhealthy as you could imagine (but i only knew this in hindsight), and it ended with him cheating on me (and then stringing me along for months after), and him eventually telling me that “the reason we didn’t work out” is because he was trying to be my doctor AND my boyfriend

why bother trusting a man ever again after shit like that lmao like

it’s bad enough some fucker assaults me

now some dude i put all my trust and faith in does THAT? christ alive.

ADDENDUM: ok there’s no real ending to this post, i just know that i’m struggling every day to confide in ppl who care about and can help me, and i hate it

i can’t even write it in fiction, fanfic or otherwise, because the thought is so terrifying and awful to me

i hate being this way

[minblush]

the amount of people attacking the ones who disliked and criticised the video is.. ridiculous. i keep seeing people making big ass rants about how we have to accept everything no matter what they do and to trust bighit and saying stuff like 'i hope there's a kiss' or 'yall are so dramatic' like it's not the girls that bothered me, but why add this onto hyyh, why. just let hyyh be and start a new era with romance or w/e. (1)

and people saying stuff like ‘but when hyyh was happening all theories weren’t about all this friendship yall want so bad, everyone was just making it about ships’ like.. no? ik there are some ignorant people fetishizing m/m relationships in this fandom but i feel like maybe it’s the minority in this situation? quite frankly i feel like at least most of us, appreciated it for being about friendships and youth and growing up and learning to love yourself and suddenly (2)

Anonymous said:it looks like it’s a cliche love story like i hate to assume things but we have the right to be apreehensive? why should we just accept everything they throw at us without discussion, constructive criticism is a good thing imo i honestly agree with everything you said, i’m glad we have someone in this fandom that speaks up and voices their opinions. the more i see people say stuff that sounds so pretencious, like the ones complaining aren’t real fans and stuff (3)

Anonymous said:it bothers me so much like that doesn’t make you a better or bigger fan lmao you’re just blind trusting which is.. not good at all. but at the same time i always feel like i’m being dramatic and when these people say stuff like 'its not that deep fam’ it just kind of makes me start to doubt my own opinion and i feel bad for having said i didn’t feel content with it in the first place (4)

Anonymous said:Uh I’m sorry for sending all those messages now I kind of regret it you can totally ignore them if you’re done talking about this or this is stressing you out or anything! I probably made no sense but you’re the one person I trust in this fandom to share my opinion with. It’s all stressing me out so much I’m probably simply dramatic and overreacting but hyyh means a lot to me and.. yeah. Sorry again!

Anonymous said:And I’m afraid the same message was sent multiple times because Tumblr kept reloading and acting up and probably some asks were eaten by Tumblr so I apologize for that as well please ignore all of them if you don’t want to talk about this anymore and it’s upsetting to you ok 💟

yeah i agree, it really bothers me that people can’t accept any criticism and cling to blind faith and dismiss any legitimate criticism and analyses as people being jealous or immature, when it’s really not the case for 99% of the time

to me tbh hyyh wasn’t about ships at all in the traditional sense, but it was about friendship and bond between the characters (i mean to me personally, that was another charm of it, it meant something to everyone else and bighit is taking it away now with this format aka why people are even more upset), so i really am disgruntled that they decided to break their friendship apart basically so they can force in these female characters? and whether they’re guardian angels or love interests, i find it a problem either way

romance makes the whole thing cheap and cliché, and using the girls just as a way of healing the guy is a sexist trope that has been analysed and criticized to hell and back so yeah

and thank you, yeah like obviously i myself said that there is room for change, but we will gain nothing from staying quiet and hOPING, constructive criticism is good, even if it’s too late now (since the story is written), it will help the next time they do something like that, and that is GOOD

and no don’t let people do that to you! because that’s what they want, it’s pressuring you into conforming, it’s a scare tactic, “it’s not that deep” “you’re exaggerating” “we need to trust them they work so hard we have to be grateful”, don’t fall for that 3: that’s what sheeple do, even when people are like that you have to think for yourself, it’s good to consider everyone’s point of view, but if you examine the situation and see that some people just can’t deal with cognitive dissonance and they don’t want to see any negative criticism ever, well then you know you shouldn’t listen to them

your feelings are absolutely valid! i was upset too, and i was even dramatic about it, and you can absolutely do that, you care about it so why not? i think it’d be way worse for bighit if everyone was apathetic and didn’t care one way or the other tbh

and don’t worry! always here to discuss stuff!!♥ if you read what i say on here then you know hyyh also means a lot to me and i was and still am kinda upset ;-; so i really understand, so no worries ♥♥