#no matter how far youve gone

[veronicathegoddess]

can we please kill the consent is hot and the consent is so sexy narrative. consent is the bare fucking minimum and it isn't supposed to be glamorized as anything else. anyone that doesn't care about consent is abusive and shouldn't be near anyone, in a sexual context and in a normal social context. end of discussion.

[orcelito]

I always get so angry but then I play video games and I'm no longer so angry

This is a problem when it comes to wanting to leave my shit ass job

[jolapeno]

xi. hold her, and tell her everything's gonna be fine

javier peña x f!reader | chapter eleven of late night texts

summary: It's the year 2000. Javi is minding his own business on the porch of his pop's ranch when a text from an unknown number vibrates his phone. The only problem is, no one knows he has a phone and no one has his number.

chapter warnings: sad!reader, talks of jobloss, comforting!javi, two idiots pining for one another. fluff. flirting. continuous romcom vibes. falling in love. idiots in love ✨ wordcount: 3.3k. an: i know, when will jo stop changing the banner, but I love this so much and feel it encompasses everything for these two.

text key: bold is you/reader | italics is javi

I have one last thing to research and then I’m all yours.

have you eaten

There is a piece of fruit in my hand, as I research.

you said you were gonna order

In my defence, I’m not super hungry.

if I was there id hide your notebook and make you eat tamales my mama taught me to make

Make me, ay?

oh baby normally i would be so down to talk dirty with you and make you blush but only when youve eaten

I really want this job, baby.

i know but i really want you to not be ill

Because you really really really like me?

i heard that in your voice and yes because I really like you

In the last few days, the two of you have managed to complete three crosswords. Something he’s impressed with and you’re disappointed in.

“So, another one—I’m still unsure what this even means.”

Laughing, he hears you crunch another piece of fruit—thankful to hear you eating. “What’s the clue, baby?”

He’ll never tire of it, hearing you call him that. A sweet sound, all wrapped in kindness—floating down the phone line all the way to his ear.

“‘Not a company man’, six letters,” he says, fingers rolling the bridge of his nose.

“Hermit,” you say, calm, casual. “Or, you know, me if I don’t get the job.”

“Baby,” he warns, pen scratching the paper as you try to laugh.

Then you asked to change the conversation. Something he was more than happy to oblige, capping the pen, shoving the book away, leaning on the counter as you tell him about a new recipe you like. Talking fast, busy—almost far too energetic, but he knows why.

It’s all because of today.

The interview—the things he’s heard you jump through hoops for—arriving sooner than he could have relaxed you for.

You’d practised elements of your presentation and called him more than you usually would. Something he liked, enjoyed. The feeling of being needed. That his opinion mattered. It all weaving within him, stitching the parts of him that had weakened since the goodbye, since the drive home—alone and without you.

After a quick text in the morning, Javi had known not to expect to hear from you for a while. Likely not even immediately post your interview, probably needing a coffee—a breather.

If he lived there, where you were, you’d likely need him. Meet him outside, coffee in hand to give to you, a comforting hug, your breath on his neck as you let the tension out.

But he wasn’t there.

And he had thought he might have heard from you an hour later.

let me know how it’s gone baby

Javi tries not to be needy.

A battle he finds easy to lose when it comes to you. Digging his phone out the back pocket of his jeans periodically, ignoring the animals nuzzling their noses at him for food as he checks his battery, texts, calls…

Then the hour bled into two. Your interview was two-hundred and thirty-nine minutes ago, to be precise.

By now, he’s expected to have heard something, anything.

you still want me to call tonight

He tries not to worry. Even as his tasks dwindled, the sun beating down, his stomach growling and sweat building in parts of him that he should shower off.

But a part of him thinks if he goes inside, it’ll layer on top of him: the loneliness. The thing he feels, but pretends isn’t there.

Because normally, he’d have heard from you at lunch—if not more frequently throughout your day. The silence expected, very out of character. Which turns some cogs in him that twist and tighten, forcing his throat to burn and his stomach to flutter with a nervousness he can’t explain, except that:

Javi wants you.

Not just in the sense that he wants to run his fingers up and down your side, to crush his lips over yours, to bury himself inside of you as he feels himself falling, freely, and happily. But more that he wants to wake next to you, see you smile and laugh amongst the field, show you the water’s edge—feel some contentment there rather than boiling anger at the boats.

You could wear your jacket as the weather cools, and spread your warmth from the photo strip to the rest of the ranch.

youre doing that thing where you make me worry, baby

Eventually, after much internal fighting, he heads in and showers.

Hands washing the day as he hopes the water will take away his worries too. Pressing his palm flat to the tiles, he allows the water to beat down on him—eyes occasionally glancing to the phone on the windowsill, willing it to light up.

He suspects it’s why he stays in a bit longer.

Allows the soap suds to have long since vanished down the plug hole, letting the water begin to go cold as he uses all of the water up.

It’s only when he’s dried off, thrown some comfier clothes on—sunk into his usual chair, does he rotate the phone in his hand. His fingers slid along the underside of his chin, eyes fixated on a photo of him and his parents—their faces beaming, smiling, his hands in theirs.

even got me using punctuation and everything

Please, he whispers.

To no one. Not his Pop in the next room, some show bleeding into the air. Just to himself, as he works the spot on his forehead.

You don’t text him back, but you do call bang on time.

He’s spent the last half an hour pretending he wasn’t loitering, while his pop pretended he wasn’t coming in to make drinks to check on him. Giving him that look, the one Javi had seen so often when he’d first come back from Cali.

All concern, all deep lines embedded with worries as he ticks, tick, ticked.

This was different. Something in his gut telling him that you weren’t okay, a need inside of him to get to you—pack a bag, head to the airport and hope there was a flight or something.

He only hadn’t because a part of him, small—but loud—hummed that it could be him. He could be the reason, the cause. It all too good to be true. His fingers pressing keys to read back his texts, see if he can find the cause—the moment it all began to spoil and undo.

The last hour of investigation led him to nothing. Irritation threading into his muscles until he heard the phone ring—loud, punching holes with its noise into his unravelling.

Smirking, he wipes his hands on his jeans, cocking his head around the doorway—checking for the flickering television and no lurking pop, before he unhooks the ringing phone from its place.

“Took you long enough, was about to ring you and ruin—”

“J—Javi?”

Sniffle. A sob. The beginnings of you splitting in two.

That’s what he hears—clear as anything. It cuts straight through his attempt at teasing and slices through him as though the sound was laced with the edge of a knife.

It’s instant, barely explainable, the way his stomach falls to his feet. His smile vanishes, stolen and robbed, as another sob expands in the space of your two’s silence, making his throat dry, and the phone crunches a little under his grip.

“Baby. Talk to me, what’s happened?”

You swallow, all thick, as though it's a struggle. “I… I—I didn’t g-get the job-b.”

Slowly, his eyes close. Hearing you cry again, louder, less restrained and more freely, them rolling and rolling from you like a wave. The depth of it travels freely down the phone, in the same way, he usually craves when it’s your voice, noise, or presence.

“I’m… cariño, I’m so—”

“—I’m s-sorry, Javi. I’m so sorry…”

Frowning, he slides the fingers down his nose as you continue to apologise—them merging with your hiccups and tears.

“Cariño, wait. Stop.”

And you do. Your sniffles all of a sudden ceasing, more restrained—practically swallowing another one back. Trying to keep it on your tongue, rather than let it escape.

“Why are you apologising to me?”

You’re quiet for a moment, a second. Then you seem to let out a strange noise, before clearing your throat. “The job… I… we’d have been seeing each other more, and I’ve ruined it—I ruined-d it all.”

Frowning, he opens his mouth. Confusion there, all evident and brimming. Because he hasn’t got a fucking clue what you’re talking about. His brain runs, dashing through the notes it’s been making, the snippets here and there you’d spill about your day and your work.

“It was-s in Houston. I’d have been able t-to move. We’d have been c-closer.”

And then it lands.

The realisation. What it would have meant.

It appears in front of him before it slams straight into him. Forced his head to drop, sight lowering to a mark on the wall as his chest tightens. His eyes fixated, unable to tear his eye from the stain on the off-yellow wall—one likely made from him sitting on a stool or chair, maybe even his knee when he’s stretched, when minutes have quickly tumbled into an hour.

Even if he’s reeling, your ramblings have continued. They’re all in various pitches, spluttered and painted in painful cries and strangled sniffs.

“—I—I didn’t want to tell you at first, in case we didn’t, you know, get on.” You continue, some words slamming into the next as you try to level out your cries. “Then I didn’t want to tell you in case you got excited, and I fucked it up—and I did, didn’t I? I fucked it up. And now we won’t live closer, and—“

“Baby—“

But you’re tumbling, rolling right off the emotional cliff you’d been on the edge of. Thick, horrid sobs that shake his foundation and dart cracks through all of him continue to travel from you.

And it hurts. Makes him feel both horrid and weak—helpless. Unsure what he can say, do.

So he offers, “They’ll be other jobs.”

And as soon as it unfurls from his tongue, he wants to drag it back. Swallow each syllable, and letter, and never let you hear them again.

Because he’s sure you cry harder, louder. Even if it appears like you pull the phone away so he can’t hear how deep they go.

And you keep trying to spill out his name, a sentence here and there, trying to form as he pushes the phone against his ear, palm flattening against the wall—balling his fingers up—

“There won’t be…”

Sighing, he lets you take a breath. “Baby, of course, there will be. You’re good, I can tell, alright? And you’re brilliant and just cause those fuckin’ idiots can’t see—“

“I quit, Javi.”

The words he’d been about to say, fizz out on his tongue, die, fade. And it seems to only make you cry harder. His mind trying to catch up, to follow on with what is happening as you explain, in broken sobs, how your entire life seems to crumble apart all around you.

“I… I couldn’t take it. The reason, the explanation. How they gave it to the new guy, the one who doesn’t even know how Houston operates—and I just saw red, Javi. And I quit. Me? I… I just packed my desk up, left….”

He bites the inside of his cheek, listening as you take a breath—it sounds so much like defeat has replaced your sorrow.

“Then I just wandered. A box under my arm… and… I wanted to reply, but I didn’t know where to start. Like, ‘I miss you so much, but by the way, I didn’t get that promotion, and I snapped because they treat me like shit, so I quit. That my best friend is so excited because they’re paying for her to move this month for her new job, and my lease on my apartment is coming up’ and…”

“And what?”

It’s your turn to sigh, it more shaky and still embezzled with sniffles—fluttering down to his ear. “And…” you pause, his pulse suddenly quickening, waiting, mouth opening and then closing. “And, the person who would make me feel better isn’t even in the same State as me—because, I know this sounds crazy, but as soon as I heard why I didn’t get that job, all I wanted… well, all I wanted was you.”

Me?

His lips curl, sliding up into his cheek. His eyes look up, dancing around the marks on the wall as he straightens his spine, and swallows back whatever lump had been forming.

“I just…” you continue, “wanted to be back in that hotel room. Curled up in your arms.”

“You….” Clearing his throat, he tries again. “You know how we could solve that? You could come here—clear your head… just for a minute. Get all the hugs you want.”

You let out a noise, low, shifting it from it to a breath in record time. “Well, I wouldn’t be much fun. I’d just spend it in your bed.”

“That doesn’t sound all that bad, baby.”

“Sleeping and crying, do it for you, charmer?”

He grins, before rolling his lips. “Not if it’s not from how good I make you feel, no. But. I just—want you to have options.”

You go silent, far too quiet for his liking, until he hears the sound of movement, shuffling. His ears honing in, trying to work out what it is you’re doing, could be doing.

“What am I actually gonna do, Javi?”

Fuck. It suddenly dawning on him how unequipped he is for this. For comfort—for being there for another person. He barely looked after himself before, never mind since he came home. He hasn’t got a fucking clue what to say to even begin to make someone feel better, never mind someone who means as much to him as you.

“I… I quit my job. Without even finding another one—that’s… that’s crazy, insane—I don’t do these things and-and—“

Rolling his head on his neck, he ran a hand over his face. Trying to buy a second or two, digging deep for an answer—something comforting that would help.

“You, baby, are gonna get some sleep, and tomorrow we’re gonna sort it.”

He hears you swallow. Loud, followed shortly after by a sigh.

“We?”

You say it quietly, full of disbelief.

Because only you still wouldn’t realise how deep he is in with you. If he could, if he could risk hijacking the moment to explain, he’d tell you how worried he’s been, how he’s been obsessively checking and clicking, to the point he’s pretty sure he’s taken some life of his phone battery for it.

Swallowing, he bites his lip, nodding to himself. “It’s you and me, ain’t it, cariño? You’re not… you don’t have to figure this out alone, is all I mean.”

It’s soft—the way you reply, okay. Delicate. He’s hopeful it’s accompanied by a smile, one with a nose scrunch.

“Javi?”

“Yeah, baby.”

“Can you… can you stay on the phone with me?”

Pulling a stool over, he sits himself down on it. The ache in his chest widened, a lump in his throat forming. “Sure, baby. You want me to talk about anything in particular?”

“Not sure…”

“What would you do if I was there?”

He swears he hears you smirk.

“I would cook you almond saffron chicken.”

Shifting on the stool, he adjusts the phone in his hand. “Yeah? How come?”

“It’s the first dish Aish taught me to make, and I think you’d like it. And, I’m quite hungry, I… I didn’t really feel up to food before. But maybe, y’know, if I came to see you, had the chance to cook, maybe over a long weekend?”

Smirking, he lets out a content breath. “I like the sound of it already…”

“Because of me cooking in your kitchen?”

Laughing, he rolls his lips. “No, because it would mean you were here, cariño.

Morning baby, hope the cows aren’t trying to eat your shirt.

morning hermosa why are you up so early

Well, I thought of having a lie in but decided to grab a coffee, print off some CVs and not look as desperate as I feel.

if it makes you feel better im pretty sure my pop would hire you in a heartbeat

Bet I’d look real good in dungarees.

fuck baby

Could even wear your shirt, tie it so it’s a crop.

youre killing me

I’ll leave you with that, I have a list of places to beg to give me a chance.

wouldnt need to beg me

Stop, baby. Save it for later.

He’d barely dried himself off before your text came through.

Javi had found that the one upside to you being unemployed was the amount of time you had to reply or call—something he wasn’t complaining about in the slightest.

In a way (a small, acceptable way), it felt like a taste of what it would be like if the two of you lived closer. If there weren’t towns, cities and states between the two of you. If you lived close by, or better yet, on the ranch with him.

Across the last few days, while you’d seemed upbeat through text—just as you were when the two of you were in Houston—he quickly realised how much of a mask that was when he had you on the phone.

If not for the fact that when you ended the call, you seemed more yourself than when it started, Javi would have already begged someone from a ranch or two over to help, and book a flight out to surprise you.

“Hello, charmer.”

Grinning, he runs his hand over his chin. “Someone’s in a good mood.”

“Well, I have good news.”

“What’s that then?”

“Remember when I said I had to meet with someone in Houston, from imports? Well, apparently, they’ve been trying to get hold of me at work—one of the few nice people there let me know, even passed my details on.”

It begins—right in his stomach. A nervousness, a bubble—it rising and rising, sliding into his heart as it makes it beat just that much quicker.

“He wants to meet with me… apparently, I impressed him?”

“That’s—fuck, that’s amazing, baby.”

Javi can almost hear your grin as you laugh—can even picture you hiding your face in your hand at his happiness.

“Yeah,” you say, more in a sigh than anything else. “It’s obviously just an interview—maybe even a chat, but it’s something.”

Tracing the back of the phone with his finger, he runs his fingers up his neck, up his chin—

Pulse thumping in his neck. “I could… Could always drive up, see you after?”

“Oh… um?”

Oh? He thinks. The noise suddenly on repeat. It’s all he can hear—that little surprised noise rips from your throat and punctures his ear. His own fingers scratching at his cheek.

And then you clear your throat, and he grits his jaw. “Well, if you wanted, once I’ve had my meeting with him, I was going to ask if I could come to Laredo, see the ranch… and you?”

Just as quickly as it came, the earlier shame from your ‘oh’ vanishes. It bursts, erupts into a thousand pieces of nothing as the edges of his lips begin to curl up.

“For a second, didn’t think you wanted to see me.”

You don’t laugh, don’t ridicule his confession, and if you were here, he’d imagine you’d have tilted your head in that way you do.

“Javi, of course, I want to see you. I…” you take a long pause as though battling with yourself. “Baby, I’ve been trying to find my way back to you since the moment I left you. There’s nothing I want more than to see you. I promise.”

His shoulders descend from his ears, a smile spreading across his face so large—he’s not sure anything could take it. Something inside of him shifted, sliding back together.

“So, do you mind if I come to see you on your ranch? Bother your animals, let me admire your fence work?”

If he hadn’t been sure before, he’s sure now he would have kissed you. Grip you by your cheeks and crash his mouth to yours, stealing that question mark from the air and using his lips to remind you that with him, you never need it.

But, since he can’t, he finds words. One’s that are more eloquent than ‘fuck, yes’, but are close in family to it.

Because, of course, he wants to see you. He never wanted to let you go in the first place.

an: we have next weeks and then an epilogue, and LNT 'main story' will be done. honestly, thank you for all the love as we've gone on this journey. i never expected this for one second, and i'm so emotional right now at how well loved/supported this story has been. i'm gonna miss it, so much.

[jaemified]

last christmas | part 2

“this year, to save me from tears ; ill give it to someone special.”

❆ pairing ; strangers to ?? park gunwook x fem reader

❆ genre ; fluff, slight drama +(ft taesan/jaehyun of bnd and yunjin of lsrfm ^^)

❆ warnings ; swearing, and kinda toxic relationships

❆ wordcount ; 2.4k

❆ synopsis ; beginning your second year of college and you feel youve hit rock bottom. on your own after your ex kicked you out, and taking on a seasonal job at a christmas shop to pay off student loans? everythings gone to shit. but then, you see him for the first time. and you realize there really was a little light in the darkness — your someone special.

♡ kona speaks ! - vaguely follows the plot of the film last christmas (2 part story)

read below the cut !

you cant say you were all to proud of yourself now.

sure, you were a pretty incredible student by high school graduation, with a 3.9 gpa and all (not to mention making it to seoul national university with your beloved boyfriend).

but, that was a year ago.

who wouldve thought it was possible for your life to go so far downhill, in just a span of roughly over 12 months?

your parents had found a better job opportunity in london, but your mom wanted you and your brother to be nearby.

meaning doing so without running it by you of course, which led to her enrolling you into imperial college as a foreign transfer student.

your boyfriend was pretty upset, but nevertheless, followed you despite your best efforts telling him not to (which meant him forfeiting his scholarship at snu).

once your family first heard he would follow suit to london, they gave you an ultimatum. and stupidly, you chose love over family.

they never approved of him anyway.

it was fine for the meanwhile.

at least until you broke up, and he decided to place the blame on you.

it was your flat you bought with your own money anyway. what did he ever do for you? how dare he kick you out of your own home!

-

you watched while gyuvin pulled your luggage out the closet, pushing it towards you.

“what the hell are you doing!” you exclaimed as he began to pull your clothes off hangers and throw them towards your direction.

“helping you leave.” he muttered.

“what did i even do? you just wake up one day and decide its my fault you followed me to another continent despite me saying you shouldnt? i told you not to leave your dreams behind, and you chose to ignore me!”

“well maybe you didnt try hard enough! i just know that i dont feel the same about you now as i did then.”

“so thats it?” you scoffed. “you realize this is my apartment? i pay the rent. you just practically live here for free. you cant just kick me out of my own home!”

he only ignored you and shoved piles upon piles of clothing into 2 separate suitcases, before gently escorting you to the door.

“gyuvin. gyuv! kim gyuvin! you cant just leave me here!” you begged.

“im sorry y/n. but its over. maybe if you hadnt taken all that mattered to me we couldve worked out.” gyuvin spoke before slowly closing the door, leaving you out in the cold wearing only pajamas.

“what the fuck am i supposed to do now..” you whispered to yourself, thinking of the only possible places to go.

sure your number of options was minimal, but you began with the only person you thought you could count on anyway.

“what the hell are you doing here?” taesan expressed in shock while he stared at you standing at his front door.

“need somewhere to crash.. surprise?” you shrugged jokingly, trying to lighten the mood as you and your brother werent on the brightest terms.

“goodbye y/n.” he sighed as he turned to lock you out.

“han taesan you let me in this instant! you cant just leave me to die in the middle winter!” you exclaimed, stepping through the door frame so it couldnt close.

“wheres gyuvin?” he scoffed. “i mean, youre the one who left me with mom and dad to buy a house for him anyway.”

“we broke up. blamed me and said i was the reason he lost everything in seoul or whatever. and he still kicked me out of MY home.”

taesan let out a heavy breath, looking around before pushing the door out more for you to walk through.

“..you mean it?” you pondered hesitantly.

“i suppose. i know we warned you about him and all, but youre still my baby sister.” he half heartedly grinned, pointing his head in the direction of his hallway as a gesture for you to come in.

you knew he was still mad at you despite not showing it, but knowing your brother, hes still someone who you could rely on in any situation.

“yeah. and uh- just a heads up, i still live with jaehyun and leehan, plus we dont have an extra room so.. we’ll just figure it out later.”

“thank you.”

-

a week later and you were doing better than before. though it wasnt easy to forget the incident, you still managed with the new living situation and all.

you woke up bright and early the following morning for work, ready to sell christmas ornaments for the rest of your life under your boss, huh yunjin, as you were now on break from school.

considering jaehyuns bed wasnt all too comfortable, you still slept pretty well. youre grateful he took the couch for you during that first week. ‘maybe ill get him something as a thank you.’

“what are you doing up so early?” taesan asked, holding off on the toast he was about to eat as he watched you rush downstairs.

“got work. not like dads willing to pay student loans anymore right?”

“the christmas shop, still?” jaehyun asked from his seat on the couch.”

“cant have a full time job as a full time student. it just worked out while im on christmas break.”

your brother nudged you in your stomach, motioning for you to thank his friend for his deed.

“-oh and thanks for taking the couch. i owe you. if you want food or anything ill cover the cost and pick it up in return.” you continued.

“its fine. i get it, the last few days were rough. dont worry about it.” he smiled.

-

after a quick 10ish (or so) minute walk to the street side store you worked at, you realized you were about 5 minutes past the time you were meant to clock in for your shift.

walking into the store, it was no surprise it was already crowded by 8:36am seeing as christmas was 2 weeks away now.

“y/n! y/n get over here! where is your uniform?” yunjin questioned as more of a whisper yell.

before you got the chance to reply, she quickly cut you off and said, “nevermind that. just please hurry to change and come help me with all these people!”

you wave off her dismissive behavior, and speed walk to the bathroom, making sure to pass the lockers to grab your uniform on the way.

“i forgot how itchy this was..” you grumble as you slip on the ugly elf costume yet again before leaving to the front desk.

“welcome in! please let us know if theres anything you need help with!” yunjin smiled as another person walks through the door, putting on her customer service voice.

“guess you dont need me anymore?” you asked jokingly, noticing there was no one within a 10 foot distance of the check out line.

“why must you take so long to change? i only had enough time to help half those people. the other half left after mr smith came in to return all the ornaments he broke again. he really knows how to hold up a line.” she sighed, moving in the direction of a huge box of broken material.

“you cant keep letting them return damaged product. we are losing enough money as is, santa.” you gestured to her new character change yet again as you realize where a good chunk of the budget went. “what was wrong with the reindeer costume?”

“it didnt make it clear that im the owner. the shop is called santas workshop dont you know? cant call it santas workshop if theres no santa.”

you laughed brightly at yunjin while she picked up the box to bring it to the back, just as another person walked in.

“welcome in!-” you call out, before cutting yourself off as you caught a glimpse of his face.

he was pretty gorgeous, you couldnt lie. from what you noticed, he had shortish black hair and big eyes to compliment his soft lips (not to mention his build was pretty insane too. he definitely works out).

the very same guy who caught your attention came to you shortly after, seeking some assistance on picking a gift, so you were happy to comply.

“im not sure what she’d like. its hard shopping for a 14 year old.” he said.

“what’s your relation to her? just like so i know how close you are so its easier to help.”

“my younger cousin. we arent that close, but its our first family gathering in a while and my mom wants me to get something for everyone. but shes always been.. far from an open book. so im lost”

you thought long and hard about what your cousins around that age like, before coming to a final decision.

you attempt to reach for the legos, but you almost fall over as it was just barely out of reach, sitting on one of the higher shelves.

carefully, he steadies you by holding your arm and reaches to grab the item you were aiming at.

“this?” the guy questions as he hands you the orchid lego set.

“yeah! im not sure if it suites her or anything but you cant go wrong with legos. the price isnt too bad and its suitable for anyone at any age for the most part.” you shrugged.

“that actually.. makes perfect sense. youre really good at your job, no? thank you.”

“no worries. if theres anything else i could help you with, weve got a new selection of stuffed animals your girlfriend might like.” you spoke like it was nothing, acting as if you werent just trying to get information.

“i actually.. dont..i don’t have a girlfriend.” he chuckled awkwardly as he brought up a hand to rub the back of his neck.

“oh really? im surprised someone like you doesnt have a pretty girl on your arm.” you said nonchalantly while you attempted to hide your smile (as if you were going to make a move).

“oh stop!” he waved off when you pointed out how red his ears were getting, assuming you only were trying to boast his ego (hes so unaware)((please get the hint)).

you walk back with him to the register so he could pay after realizing there wasnt much more he needed. “that’ll be 45 charged to your card.” you smiled.

“thank you, ms..?” trailing off as he notices he never actually got your name.

“han. y/n han. glad to be of assistance.”

“oh and- one more thing?”

“sure, what else?”

“what time does the store close?”

“10 at night. extended business hours every saturday.”

“surely youre joking? theres no one else here but you and the owner! thats in like 13 hours. youre working a 14 hour shift?”

“yeah but i get paid way extra so its fine, i really do need it. and yeah we are beyond understaffed but its alright.” you laugh, masking your exhaustion and dread with a bit of your lighthearted energy.

“really? i could never, must be so tiring.”

“it is, beyond imagination. but we do what we can.”

“get home safely then alright? its scary leaving that late especially considering the predators go after pretty ladies.”

“youre a tricky one arent you! how dare you mask that as an attempt to flirt.” you gasp playfully, “ill be fine, its not that far of a walk.”

“walk? youre not really walking home are you?” “well yeah, its not like i can drive when i dont have a car myself.”

“by any chance, might you need-”

“y/n! leave the poor man alone! i need you to stock the shelves in the ornaments section!” yunjin calls out from the storage room and interrupting the conversation.

“ill get to it.” you call back.

“well, i should get going then. it really was lovely meeting you.” he smiles.

“thank you, take care!” you reply, waving as he leaves.

it only hit you many hours later (quite literally an hour before you clock out) that you never got his name, and you regret it oh so much!

even yunjin felt pity for you, multitasking and listening to you ramble about the mysterious man despite all the work she had going on whilst you both sat in her office seeing as there were no customers beyond 9:30pm.

“why cant we close early if theres no one coming past a certain time? its not like anyone needs to be christmas shopping at.. 9:49 at night.”

“its just in case theres anyone who needs something, we cant miss a chance to make more money when we’re low on rent money.” she reminded.

“its only 11 minutes though.”

“and where do you have to be in 11 minutes? you live with your brother and his two roommates with no boyfriend and instead worry about a man you just met.”

“ouch, you need to go out more.”

“y/n you know i love you but i have no time for that nonsense. i need to have fun, yes, but money is essential. clubbing and drinking does not get you there, we both know that.”

-

finally, the dreaded 11 minutes were up and it was time to lock up after a crazy long shift. though, you cant say you were looking forward to walking home after standing in heels all day.

it was all most as if your prayers were answered (or just by a really strange coincidence(?)) that someone on a motorcycle stopped in front of you as you crossing the street.

“heard you needed a ride?” the guy from earlier said as he took off his helmet.

“what are you doing here? its late out.” you replied, acting calm as if your heart wasn’t beating out of your chest.

“cant leave you to walk alone in the dark, can i, pretty lady?”

“youre smart, ill give you that.” you smile when you feel your cheeks go hot.

“ill take you home. come on.”

-

maybe it wasnt the best idea to give a stranger your address, but he seemed nice enough, and pretty trustworthy to say the least.

you sat behind him as he drove through the streets, with your arms wrapped around his waist, your chest flush against his back as you wore the helmet he let you borrow.

he was so naturally warm you felt his body heat through the sweater he wore, thankfully keeping you from being to cold.

soon enough you were home, and he was walking you up to the front door.

“thank you for today even if it wasnt all that much, i had a lot of fun. you made my work day more.. bearable.” you smiled.

“of course, you can always call if you need a ride or anything. dont want you getting sick when its storm season.” he reminded before slipping you a postcard with his number on it.

“id love to get to know you more, but i just broke up with my boyfriend last week.. give me some time?”

sure you technically were the one who found him attractive first but, you never actually thought about initiating something more.

he smiled without a second thought, nodding his head slightly. “of course, i understand. just know ill be here, waiting.”

“wait! i never got your name?”

“ill see you later y/n!” he called out as he left, driving off in the opposite direction.

you sighed and unlocked the door with the spare key leehan gave you, and notice him sitting next to jaehyun when you walked in.

“you have a boyfriend and you didnt tell me? how could you! i thought we were friends.” leehan expressed dramatically from the couch as you took off your shoes at the door.

“not a boyfriend, just a friend. why were you even- whatever. wheres taesan?”

“in the bathroom.”

“thanks. uh- jaehyun is it okay if i change in your room since i left my clothes there?”

“go ahead.” he reassured. “oh! also, by the time you come back the pizza we ordered should be here too.”

you close the door behind you and pull out the index card from earlier to save the number as a contact. however, you couldnt help but smile as you read what it said below.

“your personal uber when you need it! +44 28xxx0xx29 -xoxo gunwook park :)”

[cyjlovebott]

૮ ◜ᵕ◝ ㅅ ა tangled ?! | choi beomgyu.

a/n : writing this on phone so bare w me rn, anyways aaa! since ain hit it off, im here w bb beomgyu ! another short one. cant guruantee it, but might do a part two on this one

warnings : clit stimulation, praisesish, degrading, pet names, tit sucking, fingering, y/n being a slut with those eyes, very rushed, NOT PROOFREAD!

genre : smut, fluff

pairing : idol¡beomgyu & hairstylist¡reader

becoming a hairstylist for idols was the TOUGHEST job. even though it had benefits, like meeting idols and interacting with them, the amount of pressure and training you had to go through was crazy. the way every detail of each strand of hair had to be coordinated properly, and how to make their hair look messy, but messy in a good way.

after training, you were sent to go to txt, ever since minisode1, you always thought about how much you went through just to be able to touch untouchable hair, and to be able to high five them, or to be able to hug them and approach them doing shootings.

but for you and beomgyu, it wasnt always that simple. time to time, beomgyu wouldnt hesistate to flirt with you or make hugs longer than usual, or maybe even kiss you on the cheek and he would bid goodbye and smile at you, for other idols, it was always just a quick hug, a thank you, a smile and thats it.

you never thought about beomgyu going farther than that though, no matter what he stuck with flirting and kissing you on the cheek. thats how far any idol youve styled gone with you.

miles away you know you could see beomgyu's smile from such a far distance, and you wouldnt think about not smiling back, or not hugging him tightly as much as he does to you.

—

it was another episode of TO DO, and you find yourself styling beomgyus hair with his highlights, and you ironed his hair added hairspray, like you always did.

this time, beomgyu didnt hug you or kiss your cheek. he took you to a personal space.

he made sure you had your styling belt off of you, and looked down at you for about 3 times before attacking your lips hungrily and just pinning your hands on the wall.

when he stopped, you internally whined, like you were asking for more. "you looked really good today, so i couldnt help myself any longer." his smile was so light, but had so much to say to you. "my god, did you really come up with a random sentence just to tease me from kissing you?" he giggled, "maybe, maybe not." he teased, before closing the door and locking it, and attacking you again.

this time, it wasnt your lips he went for, it was your neck. his smile growing wider and wider when you released little moans and whines when he bit onto your skin, and pushing the hickies he made with his tongue.

"fuck. beomgyu-" he slid down your wide legged pants, and pulled them down, just to see a cute puddle forming at the center of your panties.

"so wet, so cute for me? aww." he slid down your panties, leaving small, light-feathered kisses on your pussy, making you push his head back farther into your inner legs. "ah ah, just wait baby."

you whined, externally this time. "beomgyu.. need you—" you were took by surprise when he inserted two fingers into you. "fuck, beomgyu.." you bucked your hips upward against the wall, visibly seeing beomgyu smirking while he fastened going in and out of your hole.

"shit shit- beomgyu-" he took you to the couch on the side of the room, taking off your croptop and unbuttoning your bra. "mm, so perky." he licked his lips before sucking on your nipple, recreating figure 8 motions and sucking your nipple.

"ah.. beom- fuck" you arched your back on the couch when he suddenly slid down and sucked on your clit, making sure its swollen and sensitive before rubbing it in circles. "want my dick so bad yeah? so fucking bad hmm? knew this croptop would get me riled up so i coukd fuck you nonstop hmm?" he didnt lie, maybe, or maybe not you purposely wore a croptop today, to impress him. maybe.

"knew- shit. knew you would like it." you replied holding onto his hair, which you just ironed and brushed.

he started to suck on your clit harsher, and going faster and faster at going in and out of your hole, slapping your pussy with his other hand, looking up at you to see how much you were enjoying it.

"so sweet and pretty, wish i could eat you out all day long." luckily you had enough confidence breath to reply. "maybe you could, maybe even all night long." you smirked, knowing how much he liked that by the way he purposefully rubbed his hardened dick on your thigh.

"fuck, are you ready?" you nodded, passing him the condom you had in your bag. "you carry condoms around?" he teased, knowing that made you flustered by the way you turned your face away from him. "happen to predict the future." you giggled.

oh god. he was big. you gulped, trying to swallow your lump in your throat. "can i-" he looked at you, and you looked at the condom. "sure baby." he passed you the condom, looking at you while you slide it down on his cock, even looking up at him with slutty eyes.

"you dont know whats ahead of you love."

it made you feel even more happier, or excited. knowing he was probably going to fuck your brains out. my god, he was so fine.

no warning, no "im going in" he just goes in, slamming himself into you and trying to push you down when you buck your hips up, earning a smirk from beomgyu. "sorry baby, couldnt help it anymore." he says, smirking as he searches for his dick on your stomach, feeling the bulge deep in there.

he took his fingers to your clit, rubbing it. knowing it would stimulate you, he started to go faster. "be quiet for me hmm? i promise ill be really quick. just need to fuck my girl in her place."

"my girl"

that rambled with your head. your his, no one elses. your HIS girl.

"gyu.. im gonna cum-" you were going to cum, and he went even faster. "mhm? wait for me okay? im almost there love." he was lying, he was also about to cum but wanted to fuck you longer.

a few whines there, and a few moans there, he finally let you cum, cumming with you as he interlocked your fingers with his and pressed it down on the pillow beside you.

"we're not done yet, love. we arent done." he says, buckling his belt again and putting his shirt on. you did the same, and dragged him out of the room. "shit, your hair is tangled." you immediately turn to him and fix his hair. "mhm, because the same person that fixes it ruined it too. hmm?" you just hit him on the chest, doing the same process you did earlier to him.

[candiid-caniine]

Um. I had... A fun time and i wanna share. If that is okay. So, like. I was edging with the showerhead, ya know, and i got... Soooo close. And it's like, kinda oversensitive torture cause i came like.... A lot earlier lol. But i wanted to end the night edged and unsatisfied. And to prove to myself thay i COULD be a good boy. You know? So i edged three times. The last one... Ugh, like. Genuinely. I was so out of it. I was soooo close. Mouth open and unable to make a single sound kind of out of it. I was about to cum, but in my head, i just imagined a dom telling me right at that moment that "No. You do not cum." And... Oh my god. My body listened. I didn't pull away, but it was like my whole body jerked and i was so far off the edge. Like it was GONE for a good few seconds. Until it finally started to creep back up. And then i pulled away right before i could reach like... A hard edge. And immediately said "fuck!" And started laughing. Because. Um. Holy fuck. That was... Wow. Just wow. I think I'm a little doomed. Especially if i ever get a dom that's just sadistic as i am.

ohhhhh my god this stage of denial is transcendent.

I miss it; i say this bc i've been doing it so long at this point that it's automatic now, but i remember very vividly the first time my subconscious and my body conspired against e to keep me from cumming.

the betrayal i felt. against MYSELF. it's almost more cruel than someone standing over you and telling you no. it's like your body and subconscious have accepted that this is your life now, but your conscious mind is still resisting, so theres that mismatch, that upset.

it's so hot. it's so horrible. it's how you know youve hit a point of no return: that no matter how often you go back to cumming after this, you'll never forget this. some small part of you will always doubt yourself as you come towards the edge. some tiny bit of your mind will be balking, waiting for permission.

i'm sorry, friend, but you're...you're ruined lol. it's only in a small way right now. there's no going back, but there's still a chance you can save yourself from becoming as pathetic as i am...

[psycheandthistle]

Novelette intro <3

Antigone Rides Alone

Summary - Set in 1891, Thebes is controlled by Creon, a powerful landowner with half the town in his pocket. When Creon forbids the burial of Polyneices, an innocent man deemed traitor, Antigone can't do nothing. She'll risk everything, defying him to honour her little brother.

Characters:

Antigone - our narrator, quiet and reserved, but fiercely loyal to the ones she loves, as well as extremely defiant against everyone and everything.

Ismene - Antigone's little sister, loves her brother, but not enough.

Polyneices and Eteocles - the twins, killed each other in rivalry. Eteocles awaits a funeral, while Polyneices rots inside a noose.

Haemon - Antigone's fiance. His bravery is too little, too late.

Creon - the "ruler" of Thebes. He's corrupt. Surely this will have no consequences for him.

Core theme - unconditional love for your siblings.

This is really just an adaption of Antigone, by Sophocles, but set in the wild west. theyre two vibes that is really wanted to smash together for the longest time, and i think antigone is a main character that really brings a lot of outlaw energy to the table.

im thinking this will be around 8k words, because at the moment its already 3k and i havent gotten past the first interaction between ismene and antigone 😭

anyway some excerpts:

“Antigone, the horse is tacked.” Haemon says. Haemon is a man unlike most around Thebes, which means that the word tacked fits oddly in his mouth, and Antigone is unsure if it’ll ever settle in. Being the prince of Thebes that he is, Haemon’s more civilized than anyone she’s ever met. He can read and write, and he’s pretty proficient with his words, but he can’t cuss for the life of him and he has yet to meet the eyes of a woman without turning all red and flustered. 

It should bother Antigone, as she is his betrothed and therefore will marry him in the near future, but now all she can think about is how when she’s gone, which she will be soon, she hopes Haemon finds a lady that’ll suit his softer edges better than Antigone ever will.

“I know.” She says, because she has his riding jeans on and is lacing up her boots.

“There ain’t no king in Thebes, Haemon, and what Creon is doing is a poor impression of what it would take to be one. He doesn’t have authority over me." Antigone says.

“Do you think that matters?” Haemon asks, ears reddening as his eyes narrow. “He’s as much of a king as we have. He has men. He has loyalty. He has horses and guns.”

“I’m more than willing to die for this.”

“No Antigone, you’re more than willing to die.”

But now, everyone, including Ismene, knows about Oedipus and his mother-wife, and Ismene wishes for nothing more than to rip the semblance of the Labdacus line off her face and for someone to love her again.

Antigone doesn’t want to say it, but she knows Ismene will have a hard time trying to achieve both those goals, she’s trying alright, she sweetalks just about every tender-footed newcomer and lies about the stories she tells. She bats her pretty eyelashes and prays to the gods that one day everyone will forget about her lineage.

Antigone knows that Ismene would discard her for less than that.

It doesn’t matter to Antigone, because Ismene is her sister.

also if youve read this far, tell me about your wip!!!! im literally so interested in being friends with other writers, so lets chat! :)

[preyduo]

a very important part of me healing is being more gentle with myself and others, however another really big part of me healing is being okay to be myself and be loud about being myself because i was so harshly taught that i have to be silent about my beliefs and what i like and what ive been through/will go through. so therefore,

i love me and i love you all no matter who you are i see you and love you and cquackity is REALLY HOT and i also think that MORE PEOPLE SHOULD DRAW HIM WITH TITS REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU SEE HIS GENDER/SEX and i like the color orange in fact i think its a very underrated color and im a victim of kidnapping and i wish everyone who has ever gone through that a very 'youre valid regardless of: who kidnapped you/your environment when you were kidnapped/if you didnt 'fight hard enough'/you didnt fight at all or agreed because you didnt understand or because you thought you deserved it (you didnt, im sorry that you went through that) and when im older im most likely going to be in a wheelchair or something similar because of my disability and hey youre still reading this and i love you and i hope youre okay and if youre not i promise it gets better it wont be easy but it will get better youve made it this far you can go farther i believe in you i believe you you got this

[thegeminisage]

as someone who wasn't around in 2014....can you tell me what it was like? (stucky) can you give me a taste of the gardens of babylon etc

what was it like...this is such a fun question i want you to know i gave serious thought to my answer and also discussed it at length with my 2014 friend last night and i know already it's gonna be so long. sorry that i answered your ask at fuck o clock in the morning i am scheduling it to go up later and also at the time you sent the ask in to make sure you see it

ok so like. i mean, you're on the fandom website, right, so i assume youve been in fandoms. idk if youve ever been in a really, REALLY big fandom, at the same time that said fandom was also producing content (even if the source material was not). think d*stiel post nov 5, or undert*le circa late 2015/early 2016, or z*lda after totk came out, or h*rry p*tter as the seventh book was being released. (i'm censoring to avoid a false positive of anybody's blacklist except in the case of the last one, which i am censoring out of <3 disrespect.) like there's something REALLY luxurious about being in ANY large and active fandom and it's mostly the power of crowdsourcing. st*r tr*k 2009's tarsus iv headcanons. the storm trooper lore re: the f*rce awakens before the second two movies came out. everyone just kind of agreeing that dean w*nchester was a teenage hooker. you know?

like, that's "just fanon," sure, but part of the beauty of it is that no one person makes up fanon, we all gather in the biggest writing group in the world and collectively go insane and bat ideas back and forth. there are a hundred THOUSAND fics about bucky barnes on ao3 and that's just the people who were writing, not even counting artists and gifmakers and meta-writers and people who just reblog stuff. i can't possibly begin to put an accurate number to how many people are in any given fandom at any given time, but imagine (on the low end, i'm sure) there are THOUSANDS, perhaps tens of thousands, of people going nuts about stevebucky at all times. tens of THOUSANDS people doing "yes and" with each other on the internet 24 hours a day seven days a week. it's just like being in any fandom, you log on to your dash and see what the mewchies posted while you were gone, but in a fandom so huge and so active you were getting bombarded with idea after idea after idea every single second, so if you don't like one you're spoiled for choice in what you engage with next. it didn't even matter that cap3 was two years away or that it sucked when it finally got here because we collectively wrote cap3 a million times over. like, genuinely, it was a mass creative exercise. it's the biggest writing group in the world. for better or worse, we were shaping our own version of that universe, without any input from or regard to the people who actually created the characters and movie, in a way that compelled most strongly to our own tastes and demographic.

what made this particular movie/fandom special though was a few things. firstly i still genuinely believe it was ahead of its time...marvel shit pre disney was allowed to be political in ways it is ABSOLUTELY not now. like, cap2 could say "the government is secretly full of nazis and they all need to burn" in 2014 two years before the 2016 election and 7 years before jan 6. like you just couldn't say that now. "war bad" is an oldie but goodie, but "our entire government is corrupt and needs to be torn into flaming pieces and cast into the potomac" is um. pretty radical. so is, by the way, "men as victims" and "men having emotions" etcetc. like, not in fandom, fandom all but invented that shit, but as far as dumb superhero movies go. i can't tell you the number of metas i read AND WROTE discussing steve rogers and masculinity and how all that was portrayed, intentionally or not, in that fucking film. i had entire separate universes built up in my head for steve who was born a cis girl and steve who decided later in life that "nonbinary" or "trans woman" was a better fit and then steve who was born as a cis boy and remained a man his whole life but felt weird and different ways about being queer which clashed with the weird and different ways BARNES felt about being queer. i'm not saying the film (or the fandom! good lord) was perfect, it was a product of its time, but it was also WAY ahead of its time too. it was weird to expect the next film to come out and actually, like, be good. it wasnt, but we fully believed it would be and that wasn't delusional behavior because the last one had been. i would never have that kind of faith in a marvel project now because they've been bought by disney.

oh yeah and that's the other thing too like. speaking of queer people. gay marriage wasn't legal in the US on a federal level until 2015, and you couldn't just flip on your TV and see them whenever you wanted. ten years doesn't seem like that long ago in the grand scheme of things but like, we lived on glee and cw/mtv queerbait (disclaimer that i personally only participated in cw queerbait) and that was it. we had crumbs. and like when people write gay characters theyre Just Gay, but if you decide to be crazy stupid in a slash fandom you can decide these layered characters are gay and that's even better rep than um whatever was going on in other pieces of media. these guys are both so lonely and out of step with time and lack other people with "shared life experiences" (girl what the hell was that) and their connection w each other keeps them afloat in a world that doesn't want them so like of COURSE it seems like it's supposed to be romantic. and like, i could and did make myself and my tumblr buds crrrazy (and got made crazy by them) thinking about:

how steve's size when small and again when big interacted w his gender identity and his sexuality and how that sexuality manifested. barnes's identity As A Man hinging on his ability to go to war for his country bc Thats What Men Did but now he's no longer fit because theres worms in his brain. loss of bodily autonomy which usually happens to women and natasha being later in that journey than steve and bucky are and so close to being at peace with it but not there yet. stigmatization of seeking treatment for mental health issues lessened by the presence of sam who could have been a Macho Tough Guy but actually gives off strong Talk About Our Feelings And Be Soft vibes. don't even get me started on the relationship (predatory) between steve and rumlow and how it parallels the one between barnes and pierce (and if any of you motherfuckers BREATHE a word of that h*dra tr*sh p*rty shit in my direction i will END you) and the stigma that comes from being preyed on when vulnerable As Men. steve's depression and ptsd and him getting triggered by, yes, the fucking ALS ice bucket challenge. the collective belief that he was conscious when he was frozen even though nobody said that so that he and barnes could have that in common too. the headcanon about barnes having roma heritage - shoutout to not easily conquered my beloved, and the 14k smut coda i wrote for it✌ speaking of smut, i would be remiss also not to mention there was a STRONG element of collective lust involved. i'm immune to 99% of it bc im ace but the winter soldier was uh. VERY graceful. you know? i didn't write 14k of porn because i was uncompelled. we were on one. we went fucking crazy. fandom in general but especially big fandoms have a kind of nonstop endless well of creative energy born from obsession that is the absolute envy of people like my mortal enemy grrm. we NEVER quit.

also, HISTORY (and other vaguely educational subjects). we were all so desperate to know how steve and bucky would have lived in the years we couldn't see them it sparked a sitewide interest in 1940s american history. there was a thing about bananas tasting different now because of a plague. m&ms being invented as wartime candy. stuff about how shoebox apartments looked and how rations worked. 1940s recipes and radio shows. the 1940s queer movement and how it interacted with ballroom dancing and private drag get-togethers. how amputations work and how prosthetic limbs work in real life so we could extrapolate it to fantasy. how to hand-draw that fucking arm in photoshop. why soldiers are trained to say their serial numbers when captured. what ww2 was like. what dog tags are for. what did they get in the ration packs. what brand of cigarettes did they smoke. what brand (and i am being so serious, i STILL own a tube) of LIPSTICK did peggy carter use. caloric intake of someone with a 4x speed metabolism and how much famine peanut butter he'd need to eat daily to keep from starving to death. oppression of irish immigrants and their children/grandchildren back in the 1940s. the difference between conservatives and fascists, back when there was a difference. what activities generally took place on these mysterious but ever-present new york city docks. just exactly HOW many terrible movies and tv shows has sebastian stan been in ranked by his resemblance to james buchanan barnes in each one. (i personally went through his entire imdb list at the time and then made a venn diagram.) electroswing! teachers and professors would have killed for their classes to have the kind of enthusiasm a bunch of mentally ill teenagers and 20-somethings on tunglr dot edu were showing about this one very specific set of subjects. this film also sparked my love of fight scenes. if you've read this fic or this fic and liked the Big Fight Scenes in them, you can thank cap2 for leading me down that path.

and then yes there was also discourse. my personal most hated thing was the above mentioned h*dra tr*sh p*rty (DO NOT GOOGLE THAT, i will just tell you it's nazi rape porn🤢 and i hope everyone involved is having a bad day today) and also the fact that SOME FUCKING PEOPLE can't understand "don't be shitheads about a fanfic where the author can see you doing it." but then ofc people were also sexist about nat and racist about sam and minimalizing those guys (and every other character besides tony really but sometimes him too) for the two white male leads was a whole thing. and on the funnier side of things you had (justifiably, i suppose) bitter st*ny fans who HATED what those two got in avengers and got real mad when stucky started outpacing them on ao3. and people complaining about the characters being too uwu soft. and then other people arguing whether or not barnes counted as disabled when he was missing a Whole arm. and THEN discourse about was it ethical to remove the arm and build him a new one ESPECIALLY without his consent (if people don't know they're being ableist in their fanfics hypothetically is it still ok to kill them with hammers?) and why was tony doing it if that guy killed his parents and is it ok that we keep making tony not that mad about his dead parents is it not enough that barnes stole his limelight as the guy who gets shipped with steve but what if all three of them fucked but can you really fuck the guy who offed your folks but ACTUALLY isn't it cringe to like tony anyway since RDJ and gwenyth paltrow are bad people and who says chris evans are sebastian stan are such good people etcetcetc. and let us not even get started on the plausibility of the avengers tower fanon after age of ultron came out and it turns out nobody became friends and they all still hated and mistrusted each other. and whether or not the avengers could be considered found family if the other characters were constantly getting shafted into being barnes's little support animals. and then ofc every once in awhile one of the actors of people involved creatively would say something ranging from mildly controversial to absolutely horrible on the internet and we'd all fight about THAT for awhile like a dog with a bone. i mean. typical infighting of any fandom tbh.

but i was very happy. it was all the most enormous thought experiment and creative endeavor (and semi-educational adventure??) that we all participated in daily for like two-ish years without stopping ever. i loved doing it. AND, when you click with a piece of media like that, you also click with other people who clicked with that same piece of media, so in addition to the sheer level of dopamine going into my brain at all times i also formed decade-long friendships that will certainly last the entirety of my lifetime, and when we're in our 90s in nursing homes i will be able to say, "we are friends because i wrote 14k of smut for your fanfic" or "we are friends because i couldn't get enough of your gifsets" or whatever because you know, we quite literally went to stucky together.

[lorata]

Just had an important exam go awfully and I’ve been rereading everything you’ve put on A03 to cheer myself up. Just popping up to say thank you for everything youve posted. Over the years it’s become my comfort read whenever things go badly

one time in undergrad i crammed so hard for a final that on the day i blanked and literally wrote nothing. as in like, it was a japanese exam and i couldn't even remember how to write my name in katakana despite having studied for 5 years

WHICH IS TO SAY i send all my commiseration and i fully endorse stress relief through putting characters in situations

to that end, here's an old thing I wrote and i ..... think ....? i never posted, of Petra having a worse day than me

(and if i already posted it and forgot....... YOU'LL HEAR IT AGAIN!)

Petra expected the sleep deprivation tests. It makes sense, given everything else that the Centre prepares them for, that they’d want to see how their tributes perform when pushed to the limit. It makes sense because the Centre makes sense, because the rules make sense, because that’s how the world works and anyone who wants to get anywhere needs to come to terms with that. Petra has a long time ago, whether she likes it or not, and she knows better than to complain.

It’s just. It’s just. When she imagined the sleep deprivation tests, she always pictured taking them alone.

Petra closes her eyes, imagining not sleep but silence, beautiful and dark and filling the room with its wonder and pushing out everything else. Pushing out the irregular beeping and humming and whining noises coming from the speakers at the ceiling; pushing out the sound of her own breathing, rough and ragged and rasping and much too loud. But most importantly, pushing out the sound of her test partner on the far side of the room, who’s decided to deal with the lack of sleep by talking to himself non-fucking-stop.

“Lachlan,” Petra says in what the Centre should give an award for being the nicest voice a person could possibly manage in this kind of situation. “If you don’t stop talking I’m going to make you stop talking. I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

Lachlan ignores her, continuing on the steady stream of babble. The words don’t even register anymore; at one point he’d been talking about his sisters, growing up in the merchant part of town and how they used to drag him out to look at fabric in the windows and beg their father to trade for some. That didn’t even make sense — who gets excited about fabric, what is wrong with civilians — and so Petra eventually tuned out the meaning, but it hasn’t stopped him from talking. His voice has gone dry and scraping but he keeps going, hands fisted in his hair.

A shadow moves in the corner, and Petra tenses and curls her hand around her knife but doesn’t move. It’s not real. It’s not real, it’s her brain playing tricks, because the first ten, fifteen times it showed up she attacked it and wound up crashing into the walls with nothing. It’s just her and Lachlan in the room no matter what she sees, because the walls are solid and she would know if a door opened to let someone in. She would know.

(She would know, wouldn’t she?)

It’s not just the room. There have been other tests, agility tests and weapons tests; after 24 hours and 48 hours they had to spar with each other while the trainers counted out each time their moves went sloppy, and they had to scale the rope and the climbing wall and do pushups while counting aloud. They only had to count to ten but Petra could never get past three without losing count, and by the time she got there her muscles burned and her arms trembled and she’d practically made out with the floor more than she had all the girls in Residential.

The worst were the memory and calculation tests, lists of numbers to add together or words to remember and repeat back. Petra rattled off the death list well enough, deeply ingrained in her brain like that, but everything else is a blur. She thinks she got all the answers right — it feels like she did — but Petra knows that arrogance and cockiness are in her file so she needs to be realistic. Maybe she passed, maybe she didn’t; she won’t know her score until the end. Every few hours they’re brought out and given another round, and Petra hopes they don’t make her write anything next time because all she’s going to manage is KILL LACHLAN over and over and over.

Air brushes the back of her neck, and this is a sealed room and how could there be air if something isn’t moving — Petra whirls and slashes with her knife but there’s nothing there. She hisses, moves with her back to the corner and keeps tracking. Lachlan, on his end, hasn’t stopped croaking.

“Lachlan, if you don’t stop I’m going to kill you,” Petra says. He keeps going and so she raises her voice to match him, their words spilling over each other. “I’m going to go over there and I’m going to cut out your tongue and feed it to you while you choke on the blood, and then I’m going to cut out your eyes and stuff them down your throat but I’ll give you a tracheotomy so you can keep breathing because I don’t want you dead yet, I want you to suffer because you are driving me crazy. You’re driving me crazy and I’m going to get a bad score and it’s going to be all your fault and then I’m going to find you and make you sorry, or you could just stop talking —“

On and on and on, until Petra can’t tell her voice from Lachlan’s anymore, the two of them rasping away on opposite sides of the room. A few times the shadows move and something lunges but Petra throws her knife and kills it, and once she’s sure it’s dead she retrieves the knife and goes back to her corner. Don’t kill Lachlan, she reminds herself, he’s her ally and she hasn’t been given the signal to kill him yet and she has to follow the rules, but she tells him what she’s going to do as soon as she’s allowed and it soothes her, calms her, to have a plan because plans are good.

Finally the door opens and light floods the room; Petra leaps to her feet and so does Lachlan, and they’re both swaying but they stand at attention because that’s what you have to do.

“And that’s time,” says the trainer from a million miles away. “Good job, both of you. Go to bed and we’ll have evaluations tomorrow.”

Evaluation means there’s something to evaluate and tomorrow means she’ll be here tomorrow, and both of those mean she passed. Petra laughs and pumps the air with her fist, and the shadows still move and her trainer’s face is screwed up in a terrifying rictus — or is it a mask, a mutt-mask — but she passed and so did Lachlan. She staggers out the door and heads out down the hall to her room.

She doesn’t remember getting there but she must have, because she wakes up in her own bed, flopped on top of the covers. Someone took the knife, though.

Petra sleeps for fourteen hours and no one comes to wake her, which is another sign she did well. Once she wakes Petra drags herself up to the shower, and she scrubs her fingers through her hair and holds her face up to the spray, letting the cool needles of water bring the blood back. She looks like shit when she catches herself in the mirror, bloodshot eyes and dark, hollowed sockets, but one of the older girls showed her a trick for that. It takes a few minutes, but Petra turns the water in the sink on full cold and scoops up handfuls, pressing it against her face and gasping at the shock.

By the time she finishes and pats her face dry, the circles under Petra’s eyes have faded. She grins at her reflection, pinches her cheeks to bring back the blood flow, and runs her fingers through her hair to let it start to curl.

The last thing she wants to do after three days without sleep is worry about what she looks like, but no Two ever won the Games by looking unattractive. Nobody in the Capitol wants to see a Victor who looks like a mutt chewed them up and spat them out, and Petra heads back to her room to change into a fresh uniform before she makes it out to the cafeteria.

Not all the others in her year have made it, and Petra gives herself a small high-five. Selene is there, of course she is, and she’s not stupid either; she’s done the same as Petra, made sure she looks a little less like death before coming in, but some of the girls are slumped over the table, hair mussed and faces pale.

“Chipmunk made it, huh,” Selene calls out, poking desultorily at her plain oatmeal. There’s fresh fruit on the breakfast bar, at least, and Petra grabs herself an apple and two peaches along with the bowl of unappetizing mash and the mandatory protein shake. “Thought you would’ve chewed through the walls.”

“Ha, ha,” Petra says, dropping into her chair. Normally she’d be at Selene’s throat, but she’s tired enough not to care and just rested enough after her sleep to be charitable. “How’d you do? I wanted to kill Lachlan, he wouldn’t shut up.”

Selene grins, sharp and triumphant, and Petra raises her eyebrows. The last time she looked like that, she’d driven a girl out of the training room in tears and Sarah hadn’t come back the next day. “I actually did try to kill Adam. He flipped out, started screaming for the trainers. They had to come take him out.”

As a general rule Petra tries not to approve of anything Selene does, but Adam is the most annoying boy in her year. She’ll never forget being dared to kiss him when they played spin the dagger, how he’d shoved his tongue down her throat and then acted all boo-hoo baby when she chomped down hard enough they both choked on the blood. Adam is annoying and entitled and the only bad thing is that Petra wished she’d had the honour of driving him out of the Program.

Petra cracks up, and Selene is grinning and Petra hates her but she hates boys more, and Petra leans her head against the table and laughs until she can’t breathe. “We need to convince Lyssa to break into the office,” Petra says finally. Lyssa is the best at picking locks; she’s gotten them all their files so they can see exactly what the Centre has on them. If Selene had taken a shot for every time hers said insubordination she’d be dead now. “I would kill to see that.”

Selene tosses her a showy wink, and Petra snorts and picks up the peach, tossing it in her hand before taking a big, juicy bite.

Later the trainers tell her she got a high pass, and Petra revels in it for all of half an hour before finding out that so did Selene. It makes sense — in the Arena, responding to lack of sleep with instinctive murder is a pretty good reflex — but Petra still grumps and takes it out on the targets at the throwing range. The only consolation is that she catches Selene stomping over to the crossbows, which means she’s just as annoyed about Petra’s score as Petra is about hers.

That cheers her up, and Petra grins and gets the next bulls-eye with her eyes closed, just because she can.

[unlimitedhorsepower]

my thoughts on t&b2 cour2 summarized ngl

huge massive spoilers under the cut:

(following is half copied from me telling this to people who dont know t&b lore)

im genuinely inconsolable over yuri and what happened to him.

its not even that he could or should be saved but he truly deserved something better. killing people... who cares... on-screen his murders have notably included a serial rapist for example which isnt said ig but it was a guy who only kills women he picks up at a club etc...

killing your abusive father and then going on to kill murderers and serial killers isnt a crime he had to pay for with his own life jesus christ. he was a victim in that. and i dont care hes killed people they had it coming and deserved to fucking explode.

and he dies so miserable and alone. and the truth about mr.legend didnt even come out. i guess it might, but it wasnt shown on-screen and i dont care. he never lived to see it. i cant believe it im actually just bawling.

his last scenes gratuitously consisted of his body being controlled by someone else, and before that happened his mother was shot to death. and he hallucinated his shit dad and the hallucination was like i can never be forgiven but youve followed your own sense of justice. goodbye.

yuri begged for the hallucination to not to leave him but even a hallucination of his shit dad couldnt stay to make him feel marginally better because he just didnt want to be alone.

so, alone and miserable, he bawled on the floor on top of the bloodstain where his mother was shot by the criminals who broke into his house.

and he told about his past to kotetsu&barnaby and kotetsu even himself acknowledged he said things yuri probably didnt want to hear. AND YEAH he was kind of a huge fucking dick i dont care what you had to say about mr.legend (he didnt defend him and condemned him but he was like ill definitely never be like him etc)

then in the end yuri stood alone, bleeding to death, after having given the rest of his strength to protect the protags of course, and they half-heartedly tried to convince him to come down from there. but the narrative had no kindness left for yuri whatsoever, only a dramatic moment of him breaking his mask while blood pooled around him.

so he just said hes following his own code of justice, and he earlier acknowledged its not the voice of thanatos he follows but his own voice. and then he pressed his hand on his chest and set himself on fire and jumped down.literally it was worse than if he had just died.

he burnt himself to death and literally enacted my metaphors about him being born from ashes (awful childhood, killing his father with fire) and returning to ashes once he has burned himself up. but it was literal.

and since his mother died... and only kotetsu and barnaby know his story... its so incredibly cruel and callous. he literally disappeared, like his life didnt matter, and he didnt even leave a body behind. mr.legend still has all those mythos around him, and what yuri got was to be a footnote in the line of judicial officials of sternbild and vigilantes killed in action.

im actually devastated. he never got a single piece of happiness.

one of his last interactions as yuri was kotetsu telling him that he will never become like mr.legend because he has a partner like barnaby.

how i understand his last actions is that yuri accepted hes fully alone, and will be alone, forever. he has nobody to support him like kotetsu has, and will never have it, hes too broken, too far gone.

and so, he had to die because there was no saving him. he killed himself for that, because he had no hope left. he thought he could never be forgiven, like his father could never be forgiven, but what yuri ever did was never in any way equal to being evil. to have him equated to anything mr.legend did (within the narrative) is unimaginably horrifying.

im like genuinely just crying i WISH i was joking saying that but im not. im trying to make it into a joke but i cant im just genuinely devastated.

like i know any depth i made up for ryan in my mind is my bad because i think about him way too hard but i was a little disappointed in his actions but thats whatever, my expectations were high since hes my favourite, right?

it wasnt even that bad, im just disappointed he mostly got to interact with karina which i really enjoy as well they have a funny dynamic, but i like him so im like oh! theres sooo much more to him hehe. but again, whatever, hes out there, i can imagine him doing whatever i want. he didnt contradict anything i think of him either.

but yuri... ohhh.... taking this very personally actually. i cant believe the narrative didnt give him any mercy. it was a choice they made, to have him burn up like that.

like have i somehow thought of yuri petrov way too hard?... im just devastated. he was a sympathetic character, i never have ever considered for a single moment he could DIE. and in that sort of way?

did i somehow misinterpret the entire scenario? i dont even know what i couldve misunderstood to make this better in my mind. he didnt die?.. he just uhm... went bungee jumping

like the rest of the cour i liked, there were a lot of fun parts. but i just...this is something i cant get over. it felt so incredibly cruel to him, because to me he has always been the victim.

and i thought... i dont know... that he deserved better. that he deserved to feel happiness, not die feeling thoroughly miserable and alone. i cant even reasonably focus on the parts with ryan even if hes my favourite character. i wish he had died too, for equality, idfc.

i wish LL audun had smashed his head like an egg and this was the last shot i saw of him.

everyone else can “die” and then be fine i guess uh maybe ill just choose to believe yuri somehow is fine despite losing all of his blood and burning up and falling from a great height then thats my choice. they didnt show me anything that contradicts it.

which also just reminds me nobody even remembered him after his death. i thought the last shot would have him with “true heroes” and ill be honest i was crying incredibly hard thinking about yuri but i didnt see any indication he was remembered by anyone in any way.

again, this is a deliberate choice taken by the narrative and just remains so heartless.

does anyone else agree or have some other sort of take on this?! was i simply distracted by the huge amounts of yuri petrov lore i made up in my mind so that i misunderstood half of the season and also didnt see a huge memorial set up for him or something at least.

?????

cant even enjoy anything else in the cour because of how much this bothers me. i would be glad if i just had hit my head and somehow saw a different series in my mind than what everyone else saw

[messrsrobyn]

idk if this is an okay place to ask but i have a trans question?

does the feeling of missing out ever go away? i turn 17 in a week and i came out at 15 and it feels like i missed so much time and spent so long being wrong that i wont get back

you dont have to answer it but i know youve spoken about hormones before and idk. did they help? does anything?

OFC THIS IS OKAY TO ASK !! i'm v open about my transition in general and always happy to answer questions 🫶🏻🫶🏻

obviously this will differ person to person but for me, yes !!

i no longer think of my time pre-coming out as something i missed out on ??? i still existed. at my core i'm still me. i developed incredible connections, made incredible memories and *lived* (even through all the tough shit) that i won't ever regret not figuring it out sooner. i also don't think there's a timeline for anything in life but esp this. esp not for figuring yourself out. we do it everyday. There Will Always Be Time. also 15/17 is young !! i'm only 19 and we have sooo much time ahead of us. so much time to exist as us in the best way we can !! so much time to Exist. i'd even go as far as to say i don't wish that i was born differently.

and that's where hrt comes into it i think?? since starting hrt i'm a lot more comfortable with expressing my gender in any form, but esp makeup. that's something i've always loved - just the ritual of doing it and how i feel in it - and i lost that right coming out. it felt like i was doing it wrong. that i wasn't trans enough. but hrt helped !! made me more comfortable *inside* and that reflects *outside* now. hrt made me so much more comfortable and with that i've been more okay with my past?? hrt just reminded me that "oh, this was always who i am, i can just breathe easier now."

no, i didn't have all the answers and i still don't. probably never will. BUT:

my time existing before coming out was not wasted, because she hasn't gone anywhere.

i carry a bit of her with me everyday because she's *me*.

and it's difficult trying to feel comfortable and wondering if it would all have been different if we figured it out sooner or were born differently, but there's so much joy to be found in focusing more on the time i get now, than the time i've had. and i wouldn't be having this time right now if i didn't come out. no matter at what point, it is never too late to start living instead of surviving. we never miss out on too much. there's always More.

[bonesandthebees]

Weird question and also no pressure to answer this at all!! But uhh i was wondering if like u and firesnap and all those ppl youve gone to lovejoy gigs were like irls or like... hm how do i phrase this

Ig what I'm trying to say is, how did you meetup safely with someone you met online?

Because I have someone I trust with my life, like I've literally given them . Probably too much information about me shfngkfk but the thought of meeting up with them, while i absolutely want to. So so badly. It's also... really scary now that im thinking about seriously?

Ive actually met up w someone online before and we did it super safely but that was bc they were already visiting close to where i lived so their plans didnt Rely on that. But this would be me flying to where they live, solely to meetup with them. And that thought is terrifying and . Yeah sorry if this is a weird ask shfkf i just thought that since youve (possibly?) done it before that it might be a good place to ask. But if this is like weird or too heavy or anything then uh dont answer!! Shfkgk help im so awkward at this and am maybe regretting this but im also literally not sure who else to ask so 😭😭

But also i recognize that ur literally just here for fic n stuff so i dont wanna put any pressure on u!!

Im so sorry if this made you uncomfy, pls just delete this from ur inbox if it did FHFJFK

this is a really good question, I don't mind answering it at all! I'd say when you're meeting up with an online friend irl, you have to consider specific details to figure out the safest way to go about it

firstly, if you're a minor you need to be extra cautious. this isn't to say you turn 18 and you're magically safe now, but as a minor you are much more likely to be targeted by creeps wanting to meet up with you irl.

when I've met internet friends irl, I've done it in a few different ways. by far the dumbest and riskiest way I ever met a friend that turned out fine but I look back at and cringe on was when I was 19 and I straight up just drove to a friend's house (she was 27 at the time for reference) when I found out she lived an hour away from me. I'd never met her in person before but we'd been talking for several months and I'd seen pictures of her, but just straight up going to a stranger's house was really stupid on my end. I sent the address to my mom before I left along with my friend's name and number so I took some precautions, but still that was very risky. it turned out totally fine and she's still a really close friend of mine to this day, but yeah uhh don't do that unless you're REALLY confident in whoever you're meeting up with

as for my more recent meetups, I met roxy eli and meri for the first time last year when we all agreed to go to twitchcon san diego together (though actually I'd met meri a month before bc they happened to be visiting a city close to me for a few days, so I drove over and picked them up at their airbnb and we got dinner it was very fun). for me I was the least at risk with twitchcon because I'm from southern california, so if things got weird I literally could've just driven home. it was more risky on roxy, eli, and meri's ends because they all had to fly out for the trip. it helped though that we were all staying at an airbnb instead of someone's house. we'd all seen plenty of pictures of each other at that point, and we were all in our 20s so I think that's why we all felt more comfortable with it as well, but no matter what meeting up with people you meet online carries a level of risk to it

firesnap was one of the least risky meetups I've done lol. she had an extra ticket to see lovejoy in NY, I already had been planning a trip to new york to visit a childhood friend of mine who lived there, so we just met up while I was over there. I stayed at my friend's place, firesnap had her own hotel, and we just met up at the lovejoy venue and hung out in the queue all day. that was easy because I had my own place I was staying at, firesnap her own place she was staying, we weren't relying on each other for any of that so if something had been weird we both would've been able to dip. so I was far less cautious with that one and didn't even see a picture of firesnap until literally the day before we met up

overall, I think if you want to fly out solely to meet a friend, you need to take a few steps to make sure you're safe. first off, see if you can do a video call with them at one point to confirm that your friend is really who they say they are. get their real name, phone number, and address and give it to someone you know so if things go wrong someone knows where you are. and when you fly out, make sure you have a backup plan to get out if things get weird. see if you have any family or friends you've already met in person that live nearby who can get you if things aren't feeling right, and if not, find a hotel near where your friend lives and make sure you have enough money to stay at it in case of an emergency. and if your phone has a tracking ability on it (like find my iphone) make sure someone you know has access to that. keep your irls updated on where you are and what you're doing, and if you're really paranoid, establish a safeword that you can text family or friends back home to let them know something has gone wrong and you need help.

I hope that helps! just take precautions and always make sure you have a way to get out if you need. communicate with people you know back home and have a plan in place with them so they can help you get out if you need. but I'm sure you'll have a good time. I've had a great time meeting up with online friends so I'm hoping you have the same luck!

[k-arb]

Dunked on: a collection of thoughts reguarding sans

I like how sans just cheats. Specifically at the end of the genocide route. When you get there, youre expecting a fight, be it from asgore, sans, or whoever. When it finally starts, youre braces for it to begin, you know the rules of the game, youre prepared with your highest healing items

And then sans goes first. You arent expecting it, it hasnt been like that the entire game, and youre not even familliar with the mvoes hes using. You know how the blue soul works, assuning you played pacifist beforehand, but noones ever been able to physically move your soul. And then theres the gaster blasters, more moves you know nothing about. Everything flies at you so quickly, you almost instantly die. And the whole time youre confused as to why youre taking heaps of damage with what looks like poison chipping away at your health.

Your invcibility frames are gone, mentally youre thinking "thats not fair". And it isnt. Sans doesnt let you go first because you dont deserve to be fought fairly. Youre a mass murderer with too much unchecked power, noone in their right mind is going to want to fight you fairly. So sans cheats

Immediately after the first attack, you may fight, but by checking you find out how sans cheeses the game. "The weakest enemy, can only do 1 ATK". 1 ATK sure, he can only deal 1 hp of damage, but with the absence of your i frames, now replaced by the KR meter, 1 hp adds up. And it adds up fast.

Now maybe after checking him, you decide to try out your new weapon. But you cant. Sans knows you'll kill him in one hit, so he does something no other monster has until this point. He dodges. He dodges your attacks, breaking the rules of how the game is supposes to work. Monsters dont dodge, theyve never been able to. Sans doesnt care. This isnt a fair fight, and he never intended for it to be one. Everything he does is to get you to give up and stop playing, because that means you cant hurt anyone else. And playing a game thats unfair sure as hell wont want to make you play anymore.

Sans's attacks are unlike any other in the game. He plays dirty. Sometimes theres a pattern to be followed, sometimes there isnt, and you have to think on your feet in order to not get killed. His attacks dont give you any breathing room to speak of, you have to jump through tight spaces, inch your way between bones, its always at 100 and wont ever not be.

Then the turning point happens. Something stressed in undertale is that your goal as the player is to see what happens. You kill almost everyone just to see what sans will say, or to see how things play out. Its always you wanting to see whats next. So when sans presents you with the option to spare him, some might give into that desire, and click the button. This is tied for sans's biggest act of cheating. He puts you in a box, shoves it full of bones, and gives you nowhere to run.

Youve been dunked on. Sans says so himself. In an attempt to get you to stop once more, he says that if you really are friends, you wont bother coming back. Hes a sore winner, and he tells you to never boot up the game again because youre just that bad.

Now once you come back, and decide not to spare him, his attacks get harder. The screen blacks out, youre unprepared for what happens next, and the gaster blasters ramp up in intensity. And to make matters worse, he gets more blatant with his cheating. He begins attacking you during your turn, in the text box, in your menus, not enough to kill, but just enough to chip your health down to 1. Reminding you that this isnt a fair fight. It never was, and it wont get any easier.

The fight keeps getting harder, you only learn how his very first attack works now instead of when you needed to, and the quick attacks get quicker. All the while, sans appears to be getting more and more tired. So he issues one last attack before his so-called special attack one thats a combination of almost all of his attacks so far, and if you manage to survive all of that, he just grabs you and throttles you around the room like youre nothing. It doesnt kill you, but it does rub salt in the wound.

Then, after youve made it to the end, sans tells you what his final move is going to be. Nothing. Aboslutely nothing. This is the biggest act of cheating sans displays. Its as if you were playing chess, and the opponent means to win by never moving. Sans is going to keep having his turn forever. It doesnt matter how long you stay there, hes not going to give up. It never becomes your turn. Sans has won by initiating a stalemate.

At least thats how it is before you decide to play along.

The only way to beat a cheater is to cheat back. You do something youve never been able to before. That being having your turn during sans's you push the text box to the side, and then down, and press the attack button. Sans, still keeping up his cheating streak, decides to dodge again. But at this point you dont care. Mid sentance, you issue your first and final blow. Sans falls, bleeds, and realizes hes lost. Then, he simply gets up, and walks off screen. If he cant beat you or cheat the system, the least he can do is take away the satisfaction of seeing you die.

So yeah, sans cheats. He cheats a whole bunch. And i like that. Its such a frustrating fight, and i feel it was at least partially designed to be. Story-wise it also makes sense because why would anyone plal fairly against you, a murderer?

Im not sure how to end this off, so i'll just reiterate that i really like how sans cheats against you, and i hope hes drinking ketchup in undertale heaven.

[scourgefrontiers]

opinion on zamasu (doesnt matter if its regular zamasu, goku black, fused zamasu, corrupted zamasu etc etc just zamasu in general)

oh now youve done it.

OK SO. like i said in my post abt supreme kais i really adore zamasu as a character bc he breaks the chain of supreme kai characters by being an antagonist/villain! he's a BAD supreme kai. a rotten apple. and we love him for that. he has morals, sure, but theyre not necessarily the right ones--theyre selfish and conceited and skewed morals that only really benefit him and his rightious ego to the point of where he's so in denial that theyre wrong that he refuses to believe anyone is correct about them except himself from another timeline. incredible

i do think that maybe if he had been given another chance early on to learn properly, maybe in a different way than how gowasu was going about it (to me it felt like gowasu was just like "this is wrong and thats how it is, we cant change anything" instead of maybe explaining Why things are the way they are and maybe try harder to help zamasu understand "justice" and "good vs evil" better in a way zamasu could better understand it) he could have been convinced to maybe back down from his extreme plan and come around to good again. bc i dont think he was always evil. he had a heart at one point, albeit one that grew clouded over time, and i think it was able to be tapped into before he went off the deep end. i believe in zamasu redemption arcs dont look at me

ok but goku black tho. i gotta talk abt goku black bc that mfer...is a lot. at his core he is zamasu, yes! but i think after swapping bodies and basically integrating with goku's body, he became a different person. maybe not entirely, especially at his core--otherwise i dont think future zamasu would have completely trusted him like he did--but maybe on a more surface level. as a saiyan, zamasu embraced the destructive and violent part of him. he embraced his bloodlust and even gave into it, and he enjoyed battle just as much as goku did, if not MORE... i like to use this reasoning to justify blamasu as a ship LMFAO. just to throw that in there. BUT ALSO some goku black headcanons that i like are that, being a supreme kai all his life, he doesnt know how to deal with a mortal--specifically saiyan--body properly. he doesn't know how much sleep it needs. he doesn't know how much it needs to eat to be healthy. all he knows is that it has unlimited potential for growth in terms of power. SO, i like to think he's very bad at taking care of goku's body and kind of lets it...for lack of a better word, rot. that's why i always depict him with heavy eyebags, sunken cheeks...he's HUNGRRY and TIRED and he has no idea how to deal with it so he ignores it and blames it on his "unruly saiyan body" :)

as for fused zamasu, i love that bitch. its like the perfect representation of how zamasu literally only agrees with himself and at the point of fusion he's completely engulfed in his own ego and ideals, past any sort of convincing otherwise. and the corruption of his form really seals the deal--he is so far gone he just turns into this ugly, ferocious monster. although back to some headcanon stuff, i like to think zamasu and black fusing was the ultimate form of self love for them, and when goku's attack clashed with him and turned his face goopy...that was part of him dying. the goku black part was dead. half of him was DEAD. he just had half of his body as a corpse at that point, because he was half mortal half immortal. and when that happened, he didnt know how to handle it, so he used the divine lightning to finish the job and completely rid himself of his mortal half, thus breaking down and becoming the hulking beast that was his corrupted form. i love it. i love seeing characters devolve into madness to the point of becoming monsters that represent their psyche <3

in super dragon ball heroes we see fused zamasu again but as a smaller version of himself, seemingly pre-corruption, but it's obvious that it's actually POST-corruption--i like to think fu took him out of his timeline just before he was destroyed physically and surgically removed the decomposing dead parts of him (the goop). that's why he has that armor covering his shoulder and right eye--those were the affected parts of his surgery! i like to think under his eyepatch piece he still has a purple bit of eye under there that fu left for one reason or another

anyway <3 those are my thoughts on zamasu thank u for activating my autism

[pesterloglog]

Roxy Lalonde, Meenah Peixes, Jake English, Dirk Strider

Page 484

ROXY: jakey jakey eggs an bakey

MEENAH: tally ho bitch

ROXY: oh hell nah

MEENAH: and is the lil skull monster swimwhere in the back there hi skull monster

ROXY: i know u know their name!!

JAKE: Mamma mia rox!! I dont know what the argy-bargy is between the two of you but youve got to start picking up your phone!

MEENAH: wait fuuuuck mom of mia that was it i forgot the name of the shit until just now

MEENAH: jake kingfish here was just talkin about how ur still mad at me about that party

ROXY: oh my god dont start with this shit again

MEENAH: i just think u were bein a little juvenisle about how it all went down

ROXY: oh so u think now?

JAKE: Roxy this is important! Janes ready to send you to abrahams bosom over this Plot Point hoopla!

ROXY: whaa? she knows?

MEENAH: your shits been compromised you probably got goons surrounding your whole operation watchin your every move

MEENAH: couldnt be me

ROXY: :o

ROXY: ykw i can deal with underlings no problem

MEENAH: but if it comes to it can you deal with batterbitch 2.0 hershellf? what will you do when you and everyone you know are corallateral damage in her wake

ROXY: i...

MEENAH: what suddenly youre not too busy playin house and bein indecisive to care about the rest of the worlds problems

ROXY: janey cant be that far gone right?

JAKE: Janes been that far gone for a dogs age. If we let her get to The Point itll be curtains for everything the revolution has been working towards.

ROXY: what does she even want with it

MEENAH: idk but hypothetically speaking if i was posted up in my big mean bitch pants just gettin my empress on and you told me insturgeonts were tryin to shore up on some kinda mythic skaian artifact

MEENAH: id swipe that shit for myshellf

MEENAH: and then say it was all my idea in the first place so nobody could argue against kissing my ass forever

MEENAH: so just as a frondly warning figure trout whatever sea-beef you got with me finternally

DIRK: (Sea-beef? Dude, these are barely even puns anymore.)

MEENAH: otherwise? we all drown together

ROXY: i rly hope it doesnt come to that

MEENAH: you can hope all you want

MEENAH: but no matter what whoever takes credit for this comes out on top

MEENAH: and sometimes living isnt enough, people like your "janey" have to win

JAKE: Ah fuck.