#sans cheats a lot lmao

[k-arb]

Dunked on: a collection of thoughts reguarding sans

I like how sans just cheats. Specifically at the end of the genocide route. When you get there, youre expecting a fight, be it from asgore, sans, or whoever. When it finally starts, youre braces for it to begin, you know the rules of the game, youre prepared with your highest healing items

And then sans goes first. You arent expecting it, it hasnt been like that the entire game, and youre not even familliar with the mvoes hes using. You know how the blue soul works, assuning you played pacifist beforehand, but noones ever been able to physically move your soul. And then theres the gaster blasters, more moves you know nothing about. Everything flies at you so quickly, you almost instantly die. And the whole time youre confused as to why youre taking heaps of damage with what looks like poison chipping away at your health.

Your invcibility frames are gone, mentally youre thinking "thats not fair". And it isnt. Sans doesnt let you go first because you dont deserve to be fought fairly. Youre a mass murderer with too much unchecked power, noone in their right mind is going to want to fight you fairly. So sans cheats

Immediately after the first attack, you may fight, but by checking you find out how sans cheeses the game. "The weakest enemy, can only do 1 ATK". 1 ATK sure, he can only deal 1 hp of damage, but with the absence of your i frames, now replaced by the KR meter, 1 hp adds up. And it adds up fast.

Now maybe after checking him, you decide to try out your new weapon. But you cant. Sans knows you'll kill him in one hit, so he does something no other monster has until this point. He dodges. He dodges your attacks, breaking the rules of how the game is supposes to work. Monsters dont dodge, theyve never been able to. Sans doesnt care. This isnt a fair fight, and he never intended for it to be one. Everything he does is to get you to give up and stop playing, because that means you cant hurt anyone else. And playing a game thats unfair sure as hell wont want to make you play anymore.

Sans's attacks are unlike any other in the game. He plays dirty. Sometimes theres a pattern to be followed, sometimes there isnt, and you have to think on your feet in order to not get killed. His attacks dont give you any breathing room to speak of, you have to jump through tight spaces, inch your way between bones, its always at 100 and wont ever not be.

Then the turning point happens. Something stressed in undertale is that your goal as the player is to see what happens. You kill almost everyone just to see what sans will say, or to see how things play out. Its always you wanting to see whats next. So when sans presents you with the option to spare him, some might give into that desire, and click the button. This is tied for sans's biggest act of cheating. He puts you in a box, shoves it full of bones, and gives you nowhere to run.

Youve been dunked on. Sans says so himself. In an attempt to get you to stop once more, he says that if you really are friends, you wont bother coming back. Hes a sore winner, and he tells you to never boot up the game again because youre just that bad.

Now once you come back, and decide not to spare him, his attacks get harder. The screen blacks out, youre unprepared for what happens next, and the gaster blasters ramp up in intensity. And to make matters worse, he gets more blatant with his cheating. He begins attacking you during your turn, in the text box, in your menus, not enough to kill, but just enough to chip your health down to 1. Reminding you that this isnt a fair fight. It never was, and it wont get any easier.

The fight keeps getting harder, you only learn how his very first attack works now instead of when you needed to, and the quick attacks get quicker. All the while, sans appears to be getting more and more tired. So he issues one last attack before his so-called special attack one thats a combination of almost all of his attacks so far, and if you manage to survive all of that, he just grabs you and throttles you around the room like youre nothing. It doesnt kill you, but it does rub salt in the wound.

Then, after youve made it to the end, sans tells you what his final move is going to be. Nothing. Aboslutely nothing. This is the biggest act of cheating sans displays. Its as if you were playing chess, and the opponent means to win by never moving. Sans is going to keep having his turn forever. It doesnt matter how long you stay there, hes not going to give up. It never becomes your turn. Sans has won by initiating a stalemate.

At least thats how it is before you decide to play along.

The only way to beat a cheater is to cheat back. You do something youve never been able to before. That being having your turn during sans's you push the text box to the side, and then down, and press the attack button. Sans, still keeping up his cheating streak, decides to dodge again. But at this point you dont care. Mid sentance, you issue your first and final blow. Sans falls, bleeds, and realizes hes lost. Then, he simply gets up, and walks off screen. If he cant beat you or cheat the system, the least he can do is take away the satisfaction of seeing you die.

So yeah, sans cheats. He cheats a whole bunch. And i like that. Its such a frustrating fight, and i feel it was at least partially designed to be. Story-wise it also makes sense because why would anyone plal fairly against you, a murderer?

Im not sure how to end this off, so i'll just reiterate that i really like how sans cheats against you, and i hope hes drinking ketchup in undertale heaven.

[sorchathered]

Sacred New Beginnings (part 1)

This is a story over the weekend of Mav and Penny’s wedding, you and Bradley had been engaged and it had all gone to shit, with you back in town for the impending nuptials will you find your way back to each other? Or will you realize you were meant to be with someone else all along?

Pairing(s)- Bradley Bradshaw x reader, Jake Seresin x reader

Warnings- drinking, language, mentions of cheating, eventual smut. 18+

Song inspo- I bet you think about me- ts, the story of us- ts, Cornelia street- ts (yes I’m very taylor coded with this series lmao)

You’d begged Jake to keep it to himself, at least until you could get your bearings in North Island and talk to Bradley yourself. It had been 6 months since the two of you split, he’d put his mother’s ring on your finger and promised you a lifetime but it certainly didn’t turn out like either of you planned. Everything crashing and burning before you ever got a chance to say I do. Now you were back in San Diego at the request of Maverick and Penny for their long awaited nuptials and no matter where you looked all you saw was Bradley Bradshaw.

Jake Seresin was your former front seater, the two of you flew a handful of missions together when you’d been stationed here before. You trusted each other in a way most people didn’t, going through countless near death situations will do that to someone. As you stepped out of the airport into the cool night air you could see him leaning against his ridiculous fully kitted Ford F-150, you could take the man out of Texas but he’d be a cowboy no matter where he went.

“There she is! Stormy girl you are a sight for sore eyes!” He scoops you up in a big bear hug and you finally feel yourself relax, tension melting away just being able to be with your best friend like this.

“Hey douchebag, missed you so much” you say punching his shoulder and letting him lead you into the truck, peeling out of the lot and onto the dark highway.

There’s just something about him that calms you down. Everyone gets the big bad “Hangman” persona and while you’ve witnessed it more times than you can count he’s never once treated you that way. Being around him now feels like home and you need that more than ever knowing the heartache that’s bound to seep into what should be a fairytale weekend. You wring your hands nervously, you know you need to ask but you don’t want to pop the happy bubble you both are in. Time to rip off the bandaid.

“So please tell me you kept your damn mouth shut Jakey, last thing I want to do this weekend is cause a scene. Just want to watch Mav and Penny say I do and head back to Florida with no casualties.”

He frowns at you from across the console, mussing your hair with his hand, he loves having you back here, nothing has felt quite the same without you in his daily life. He knew you’d want to know about he who must not be named (yes Jake considers Bradley to be the Voldemort in your story, no he won’t apologize for it) but he had hoped you’d give yourself some time to adapt first.

“I promise darling, haven’t said a word, hand to God. We will make this weekend a blast and send you on back without a hitch, so long as ol’ Rooster keeps his nose clean we shouldn’t have an issue.”

Just hearing his name causes your heart to lurch, you’ve done so good about avoiding him; blocking his socials and refusing to stalk any of the daggers insta’s for pictures of your former lover.

“How is he?” You say quietly, inspecting your hands in your lap now, refusing to look up for fear that Jake will see your tells; he always does though.

He looks at you with furrowed brows, he wasn’t ready to break your heart again, so he rattled off a bare bones list of info you were looking for, not willing to succumb to the rumors floating around that would only rile you up. The last thing you needed was to spend the weekend drowning in what went wrong and what could have been.

“Recently got promoted to lieutenant commander, got a dog a few weeks ago, no I don’t know if he’s dating anyone and no I wouldn’t tell you if I did. We aren’t doing this to ourselves you hear me? You didn’t do anything wrong and self preservation isn’t a bad thing. Now you must be starving so let’s go get you some In and Out to celebrate my favorite girl being back home.”

Across town in a little craftsman style house by the beach, Bradley Bradshaw is pacing his halls. Mav asked him to be best man and he’s determined to make this speech perfect, but every time he tries to sit down and write out the words describing true love and destiny all he can think of is you. The two of you had been so happy, but then he had to go and fuck everything up. He knew you were the one from the minute he met you; all sharp tongue and attitude, truly the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on. It wasn’t easy to get you to come around, you’d made it a rule not to date in your squad but somehow he had broken down your walls. When a particularly dangerous mission left him with substantial injuries you’d been paralyzed with fear. If he was just a friend like you claimed then why did it feel like your heart would explode if you never saw him again? The two of you danced around each others feelings for weeks after until one night of partying at Phoenix and Coyote’s you’d kissed him. Everything felt like it fit in that moment.

A year later he was standing on the beach with roses and Carole Bradshaw’s wedding ring asking you to be his forever, you’d said yes before he could even finish talking; fully confident in the choice you were making. Standing in his house now, no wife and no family he couldn’t help the tears that spilled down his face, regret flooding his senses at how he’d let it all fall apart.

He let his hubris get the best of him. He was the best at what he did, always making sure he went the extra mile to prove himself; constantly fighting living in Goose and Maverick’s shadow. So when a mission came up and you and Jake had been chosen, he’d felt deflated; why hadn’t he been picked? What made Jake the better pilot? What made you more qualified? He went to higher ups to plead his case, never once thinking about the aftermath and how his choices in this would affect you. Needless to say it ended badly, you and Jake being grounded and Bradley flying the mission. Someone unfortunately had let it slip at the bar one night that he’d intervened, costing you an important promotion opportunity and choosing his career over you.

You’d felt betrayed, how could you trust him to be your life partner if he couldn’t even support you in your career? You’d requested an immediate transfer, packed your things and left the ring in your shared home, leaving a note briefly explaining your reasoning and that you’d never wanted it to end this way. He had ruined everything, he tried to convince Jake to give him your new number but Hangman could be ruthless when he wanted to be. Refused to help in any way and made sure Bradley knew that he’d been the getaway car; he would always choose you and your happiness unlike Bradley who’d chosen career over love.

Bradley hated him, but he knew he couldn’t fault him for his decision. If he’d just given that level of care when it counted he’d probably still have you, instead of an empty house and a head full of what ifs. He’d been a terrible fiancé, sure he’d doted on you and always told everyone you were his everything, but he also loved attention. So he’d let girls at the bar flirt sometimes, make excuses that it was just his personality and that he didn’t mean anything by it because of course you were the only one for him. He’d dulled your shine to lift himself up far too many times and he knew deep down he didn’t deserve a second chance. Giving up on his speech for the night he poured another scotch and made his way to bed, there was no mental preparation on earth that would make any of this easier.

Friday morning came bright and early, you stumbled your way through Jake’s apartment letting the smell of coffee carry you to the kitchen. He’d left a post it on the carafe, telling you to be ready by 6 for drinks at the hard deck and you laughed at the familiarity of it all; some things truly did stay the same. Six pm rolled around all too soon and you were dressed in your favorite sundress, your hair and makeup set to perfection as Jake pulled the two of you into the lot of the beloved navy bar. Pulling you from your thoughts he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze.

“If you start feeling uncomfortable you just say the word and we’re out, no muss no fuss. You just relax and enjoy tonight with our friends.”

You smiled up at him, grateful that he always seemed to know what you needed to hear.

“Come on Tex let’s get in there and celebrate our friends.”

The bar was closed to only friends and family tonight, everyone near and dear to the happy couple congregating for their rehearsal dinner. Stepping inside it was like being transported back to the past; sounds, smells, everything was the same as it had been when you left. Jake goes in ahead of you, keeping an eye out for a certain mustached aviator but as you both made it to the bar the general consensus was that he hadn’t made it yet. You greeted Penny and Mav with hugs and congratulations, both so glad that you could make it. Mav caught your eye as you ordered a drink from Jimmy, and you knew what he had to say before he even started.

“He-“

“I’m sure he does Pete. I wish it changed anything, but it doesn’t. This is your day, you don’t need to waste it worrying about the past, I’m ok I promise.”

He just wanted his godson to be happy, you knew that. But it wasn’t that easy, too much time had passed and you were uneasy enough thinking about having to see him tonight. So with a squeeze to his arm and a smile you made your way across the bar to the pool tables and your former squad.

Rowdy and full of mischief, that’s the best way you could describe them, whooping and cat calling you as you crossed the threshold as they enveloping you in hugs and remarks at how you’d been missed. Phoenix sidles up to you now, bumps her hip against yours with a Cheshire Cat grin, the two of you had never lost contact during the past 6 months and you were grateful for another person looking out for you tonight.

“I’ve missed you cutie! It’s just not the same around here, still can’t believe you left me to take care of the kids by myself.” You both laugh at that, looking towards your boys now as they play fight and place bets at who can kick the others ass at pool, knowing without a doubt that Jake will take the winnings.

“It feels good to be home ‘Nix, I didn’t realize just how much I missed everyone until I got here. Florida is nice, I love the group I have there but the daggers are my family.” You trail off, trying to suppress the tears threatening to leak from your eyes.

She pulls you in for another hug, kisses the side of your head. “It’s going to be a good weekend buddy, I can feel it.”

Bradley’s late. He knows he should have left earlier but he’d been dragging his feet. Mav had texted to tell him you were here and he had to pull over on the highway to empty his stomach. His nerves are shot, pulling the bronco into the lot with shaking hands he attempts to pull himself together, knowing you are just inside has him feeling faint.

“Get your shit together Bradshaw, don’t lose your cool.”

He sucks in a deep breath and opens the door.

After grabbing a beer and getting two pitifully sympathetic looks from Penny and Mav, he turns towards his group and lays his eyes on you. It’s like a punch to the gut, you have always been breathtaking but after having only the memories on his phone to look at he knows for sure they pale in comparison to the real thing. His feet begin moving of their own accord, brain hasn’t quite caught up to what he’s doing. It feels like a magnet is dragging him towards the one place he has longed to be. You are arm and arm with Coyote, animatedly telling him a story with sparkling eyes and Bradley is falling in love all over again. He skirts the outside of the group, settles in to a seat next to Bob and Fanboy hoping he can keep from startling you. You feel his presence because of course you do, and he can tell the moment your energy shifts. You keep looking at him from the corner of your eye; your arms wrapped tightly around yourself and it breaks his heart. His view is obscured by Hangman all too soon, leaning in to the table to catch his eye.

“Rooster”

“Hangman”

“We aren’t gonna have any issues tonight are we?” Jake asks with his signature smirk and lazy southern drawl, it’s charming to some but to Bradley it’s like nails on a chalkboard.

“I’m not here to make things uncomfortable Bagman, just here to fulfill my duty to Mav as best man. She’s a a big girl and doesn’t need a babysitter, if she wants to talk to me I’m happy to listen to anything she says, I’d be an idiot not to”

“You’re an idiot either way Bradshaw but if you make Stormy girl cry tonight you’ll be showing up to the ceremony tomorrow with a black eye, just keep that in mind.”

“Understood.”

Jake blinks back the shock, didn’t expect Bradley to be amenable towards him at all. They have avoided each other at all costs in social gatherings ever since the split, Jake knew nothing good would come from stirring it back up and Bradley looked like a kicked puppy most of the time. Shrugging it off, Jake nods to the group at the table and heads back to where you are, encouraging hand on your shoulder. He’d be damned if someone ruined your night, so instead of letting you wallow he scooped you up to pick a song on the jukebox and took you to the dance floor. Spinning you and reveling in your giggles and bright eyes, it almost made him forget that he wasn’t supposed to look at you the way he was now. He’s been so good about keeping it together all these years, making sure to have a date to keep him occupied when you were cuddled up to Rooster and firmly planting himself in the friend zone. He knew that’s what you needed and he’d always go above and beyond to make you happy. Even if it meant he couldn’t have you.

You have no idea how long you’ve been here, speeches have been given and far too many shots have been had; the room is too hot and slightly spinning so you make your way outside for some fresh air. He’s there of course, smoking a cigarette and watching the waves. Looking him over now you can see the little changes, he’s not as bulky anymore, face and torso are definitely thinner than they used to be. He looks tired, to the bone judging by the dark circles under his eyes and the way he seems to slouch in on himself, no longer the larger than life persona he used to project. You think for a moment you should go back in, but as he flicks the used up cigarette into the wind you are both face to face, pain clearly etched in his features as he takes you in.

“Hi.” It’s all you can make out, you think of how ludicrous it is that after 6 months of heartbreak the best you can scrounge up is a measly hi.

“Hi Storm, it’s good to see you.”

“Y-yeah it’s good to see you too, it’s been a while.”

He runs his hand over his scarred chin, looking you over and it almost looks like he might reach out for you but he thinks better of it.

“I’m sorry Bradley- I can’t do this, I know what you’re gonna say and I feel it too but it doesn’t change anything. We’re the same people we were 6 months ago, and love isn’t going to fix it.”

You were trembling, tears pouring down your face and Bradley couldn’t stand it. He’d broken your heart and let you go, but he’d never once stopped thinking of you. Just two steps forward and you could be back in his arms, and he thought of Mav’s saying “don’t think, just do.” So he closed the distance and pulled you into his arms, your beautiful face cradled in his hands as he wiped away your tears.

“Baby, my sweet sweet girl I know I fucked it up, and I’ve spent every day of the last 6 months thinking of what went wrong. I don’t deserve it; I know that but please even if it’s just for tonight let me love you.”

You didn’t know if it was the alcohol spurring you on or the fact that you’d missed his touch so much it physically hurt, but pressing his lips to yours felt like the easiest decision you’d ever made.

You heard the door swing open behind you and someone cleared their throat, causing you to jump backwards out of his grasp, moment over as quickly as it had begun. You spun around to find Jake, eyes full of anger directed right at Bradley and then he looked towards you; disappointment clearly etched in his features.

“I couldn’t find you, Payback said you’d gone outside so I came to make sure you’re alright.”

You feel your cheeks redden with embarrassment, you had promised yourself you wouldn’t be alone with Bradley and yet here you are less than 24 hours later letting him kiss you.

Jake is still staring you down, you shift a little feeling extremely small between the two people you love most.

“Everything’s ok Jake, let’s uh- let’s go home ok? It’s late and I’ve had more than I should have.” You grab at his elbow to steer him towards the lot to the truck, steely gaze still focused on Bradley but he lets you move him, starting a fight isn’t going to fix a thing and he knows more than he’s let on. Maybe it was time to play his hand and let you know just how much of a piece of shit your so called “Prince Charming” really was.

The ride back was eerily quiet, tension flooding the cab of the truck while you spent every second overthinking. Why had you let it get that far? You’d done so good, it’d been half a year without any contact and you’d folded fast, it was so embarrassing. Ugh and for Jake to be the one that found you?! You knew he’d be pissed and expected a thorough lashing but he didn’t say a word. Just stoically stared at the road, no smart ass remark to be found as he white knuckled the steering wheel. He pulled into the drive and bolted for the door, didn’t even stop to let you out like he normally does. Taking a deep breath and mentally preparing for a long ass night trying to drag his feelings out, you made your way into his townhouse.

He’s nowhere to be found when you step inside, probably holed up in his room so he won’t pick a fight; you know the routine fairly well. He hates hurting your feelings so he shuts down and lets himself cool off before he talks to you, normally just acts like nothing ever happened because he’d rather not bring it all back up again. But when you go to check his bedroom he’s not there either; door ajar and completely devoid of Jake. Finally you head to the back porch, he’s there slumped in one of the lounge chairs, already cracked open another beer and staring down at his phone, determined to look anywhere but at you.

You plop down into the chair next to him, knocking one of your knees with his, hoping if you needle him enough he’ll tell you what’s wrong.

“Jakey”

“Don’t. Don’t do this right now Stormy, just let me be before I say something we will both regret.”

You know you should just let it go, but the harshness in his tone is so out of character but frankly you’ve had enough of everyone tiptoeing around you.

“No.”

“No?”

“No I want to do this now, what is it that you aren’t telling me? You seem to have forgotten that I know you better than your own mother, I can tell when you’ve been holding back. You looked like you wanted to beat Bradley into the ground earlier and I know I screwed up and let him get to me tonight but I’m a big girl Jake I can make my own mis-“

“You didn’t make any mistakes though!” He boomed, causing you to jump in your seat. “You’ve spent this whole time blaming yourself for leaving, for not communicating but you have NO idea. This was never something to blame yourself for and the fact that you let him back in tonight knowing what I know makes me SICK.” He’s never had an outburst like this with you, chest heaving and shaking hands he can’t seem to stop, he knows it’s all about to bubble up but he can’t stuff the secrets back down.

“What do you mean, what you know? Jake what am I missing?” You whisper softly, you have a sudden glaring realization and it feels like everything is crashing down, it can’t be can it? You need him to say it to confirm but you wish the earth would swallow you both up; everything changes if he says what you think he will.

“He cheated on you. A month before the mission, and he thought he’d gotten away with it but apparently Fanboy caught him and Mirage fucking in the hard deck bathroom. He agreed not to say anything, but when you left she suddenly started showing up more, he wasn’t even trying to hide her! Everyone knew he was taking her home after nights at the bar, and Fanboy couldn’t keep it in anymore so he told me. Bradshaw was jealous of your success, he took the mission away from you and to really stick it to you he fucked a fellow squad mate behind your back. As far as I’m concerned he’s dead to you, he has no right to come crawling back and you deserve to know it all so he doesn’t take advantage of you again.”

It all made perfect sense now, Bradley had had one too many late nights at work claiming he was shooting the shit with Mav, never interested in taking you to bed like he had been before the mission talk started up, but you’d chalked it up to stress. Always making excuses for him, assuring yourself that he wouldn’t dare cheat because why would he have given you his mother’s ring? He’d told you he wanted a love like Goose and Carole had, promised he’d love you forever. Of course he’d lied, he’d always been more concerned about his career path and his accomplishments, any time you did something of merit his congratulations always seemed tinged with something sour, but he was happy for you right? He loved you right? Now you didn’t know for sure.

You reeled back at the realization, all the puzzle pieces fitting together to make a heartbreaking story, and you felt a surge of nausea come up quickly rushing to the side of the yard to throw up. You could feel Jake’s cool hand holding your hair back, the other rubbing circles into your back telling you to breathe. He’d always been a safe haven in your life, steadfast no matter who he was seeing at the time. You came first to him, your friendship and partnership in the air like an unspoken vow between the two of you. You were being hit with one revelation after another tonight, and you jerked away from him suddenly; throat dry as the desert as you quickly made your way inside to the sink to rinse out your mouth.

“Hey hey, talk to me honey. I’m sorry, shit I’m so sorry you had to find out like this; I should have never let it get this far but you seemed happy in Florida and I didn’t want to open old wounds. Please Stormy, look at me baby I need to know we are ok.”

Now he’s the one wringing his hands, Hangman is never nervous, he’s always larger than life and the most confident person in the room. He looks so boyish now, standing in the dim light of the kitchen, the fear on his face so unnatural on his handsome face.

You couldn’t deny that he was beautiful, you’d always seen the way he attracted the attention of everyone in a room, like the definition of the word gorgeous come to life or the hero on the cover of a romance novel. Just classically handsome, and yes he was smug and he knew just how good he looked but he’d never put on any kind of mask when it came to you. Let himself be vulnerable, trusted you would keep his secrets and never make fun of him for his faults. Now looking at him in the quiet of his home, you realized that Bradley may have physically cheated; but maybe he wasn’t the only one that blew up your relationship. Some part of you from the day Jake Seresin had walked into your life had always belonged to him. Admitting it to yourself now was jarring; how long had you let yourself think he wasn’t everything to you? You found yourself terrified and excited at the thought, suddenly hyper aware of how close he was to you, knowing that if you crossed that line with him tonight you’d never be the same. You tilted your head up to look at him, reaching a hand out so he could close the distance, and watched him relax into your touch knowing you weren’t angry with him.

“Stormy-l-“

“Jake…Do you love me?”

He goes cold at the realization, oh God you had figured it out. He’d tried to suppress it for so long, but obviously with the clarity that had been gained tonight you seemed to be able to see the truth. He’d always been in love with you, but decided that having you in his life was more important than getting his feelings out so he’d gallantly put them aside. When he’d found out the truth about Rooster he’d been unmoored by the whole thing. How the hell could anyone ever hurt you like that? What kind of moron has the perfect girl and destroys her happiness? But he’d let you go, knowing you needed to run and find yourself in the aftermath; Jake was just grateful he could continue to be a part of your life in whatever way you needed. But oh God you knew now, he could see it on your face and since it had been a night for truth and honesty he told the consequences to fuck themselves, pulling you into his arms and pressing his forehead to yours.

“I could deny it, and we could just go back to the way things are if that’s what you need. We can continue this weekend like we have been and I’ll let you go back to Florida. Because you matter too much to me to be selfish with you, but oh angel I want *so* badly to be selfish. So you tell me what you need and I’ll do it.”

He’s so open, pouring his heart out to you and you can’t look away, his bright green eyes searching for any kind of reservation on your part, and when he doesn’t see any he grins that perfect lopsided grin of his, the one that makes your heart grow ten sizes. It’s not a rushed or sudden clashing of teeth and tongue, it’s a slow movement of lips molding together, hands mapping each other in a way that’s never been allowed before. It takes your breath away and as you gasp he slides his tongue against yours, reveling in the little noises you make as you grasp at the collar of his shirt, the need to have him closer overwhelming. After a while with the willpower of a god he pulls himself back from you a little, stroking your cheek and chuckling as you stagger forward trying to chase his kisses. He tilts your face to look at him and he’s warm all over, it’s everything he’s ever wanted and he has to tell you before he lets it get too far.

“I do Y/N, I love you. I always have baby. I want it all with you kid, and I know it probably feels sudden, but I can’t lie to you; I want everything with you. I’ll wait as long as you need because I’m in this no matter what, I don’t think I could stop if I tried.” He says with a watery laugh, and you realize he’s got tears in his eyes.

You are pretty sure you turned into a puddle on the floor, arms and legs feel like jello as he holds you up between himself and the counter. You could agree that yes it was sudden, hell you’d just let Bradley kiss you less than two hours ago, but you couldn’t deny that in all the times you’d kissed Rooster it had never felt like this. How were you ever supposed to go back to the way things were? Did you even want to? The thoughts were swirling around in your head now and he could tell you were lost. So he kissed you once more, just a featherlight peck and then stepped back from you.

“We’ve had a lot of big reveals tonight baby girl, how about we take a beat and sleep, let tomorrow figure it all out for us.”

He was right of course, it has been an overwhelming evening and you two should probably look it over with fresh eyes, so you let him lead you down the hall. He thinks you’re going to head to the guest bedroom but you surprise him, stepping into his bedroom and closing the door.

“Stormy, we can’t- not tonight honey you and i are wrung out-“

“Shhh, we aren’t doing anything tonight Jake, just hold me ok? I need to be close to you.”

He peels off his clothes and lets you change into one of his T shirts, tangling his arms and legs with yours as you snuggle up into bed. Drifting off to sleep, not knowing if he hears you, you whisper to him

“Jake I think I love you too.”

Jake Seresin Masterlist

Tagging- @attapullman

@bobgasm

@mamachasesmayhem

@roosterforme

@pinkdaisies1106

@angelbabyyy99

@nouis-bum

@djs8891

@purelyfiction

@86laura11

@shanimallina87

@floydsglasses

@floydsmuse

@nervousnerdwitch

@mygyn

@jessicab1991

@its-the-pilot

@dempy

[orshii]

Limitless (through the night)

Author: orshii

Pairing: biker! Choi San x female reader

Warnings: cursing, brief mention of death

Word count: 11,5 k

Summary: You have broken the rules, again. The punishment? You’re moving in with your father, sent back to your hometown which you had grown to be a stranger to. What happens when old affairs return in the form of Choi San? The only guy you wished to forever avoid, the guy who was a menace and always knew which buttons to push.

Will he put aside your differences and help you out when you get in trouble again?

A/N: Wow, I guess I'm here again...Ever since I saw these pictures of San, I'm obsessed with it, so a story kinda popped out of my mind lol. Like, I'll just never get over biker San pls, he drives me crazy, and I don't like it (lie). Anyways, thank you for my talented bestie @bvidzsoo for helping me a lot. I'm really a newbie to this whole writing and Tumblr world so, ly bestie hehet. Please, enjoy! I'mma be back soon, with a Hongjoong series too, lmao. Okay, byee, xoxo, orshii. (divider)

Moving to a new place could excite you due to all the new opportunities coming your way, alongside with new people, which may become your new friends.

In my case it wasn't like this. I was moving back to my hometown, which I have left almost ten years ago, leaving behind my father and all the people who I was once close with.

Now, I'm on my way back to my father, back to the house where we once were a happy family. My mother left my father, because it seemed like my father cheated on her. But the actual truth was that she just wanted to escape from this little town. She had no opportunities here, so she just blamed everything on him to have a reason to leave this shitty little town behind, alongside with me. I was only 10 years old, I did not understand back then what the hell was happening, so I just went with her. We moved to a bigger city, which was full with people. I never liked it, I hate crowds, I hate how the city is full with life.

After a while, my mother met someone and he was rich, so, we moved into a bigger house, which looked like a castle. I did not like it; I like simple things. I liked our old house, where the walls were cracked like a river spreading through the map. It was beautiful in its own way.

So why am I going back again to my hometown? I look to my left, where my mother is driving. She looked tired and mad; she was continuously frowning while she was driving. Maybe she was thinking about how she could bring a child like me into this world. Of course, I was the cause of going back to my hometown. It was my punishment.

 I'm going to be honest, lying isn’t something I do often. Since I was little, I adored motorcycles. They are so beautifully shaped and their sound is simply music to my ears. I love watching them through the TV, the bikers riding their fancy motorcycles and competing against each other, going in circles like Formula 1 cars on the circuits.

 My dad had owned an old Yamaha, it was beautiful. He noticed that I adored it, and so, he taught me everything about motorbikes; which part of the bike belongs where, he even taught me how to repair some broken parts. That was the moment I fell in love with motorbikes. I could not wait until I grew up and finally got my license. I had one purpose in life, and that was it.

And after a lot of patience, I finally got my license, but I had no motorbike. This became my next goal. To buy a bike. I succeeded doing that too, and I was proud of myself.

I looked back, where my beautiful matte black Yamaha R6 was tied safely onto the trailer. After I bought Toothless—I have named it that—I naturally joined a motorbike gang and slowly got into the world of racing. But these were illegal affairs, illegal races. You’d rarely get caught, so I didn’t worry about it. But one day I made a very bad mistake and I was left to face the cops. I was alone, the others—whom I considered my friends—left me there, letting me face the repercussions all on my own. As soon as my mother got me out of the police station and we got home, she started packing my things, saying 'You're moving in with your father.' My opinion did not matter, it was settled, and I just needed to obey. I did not care about anything at that point, so I just went with it without a word. Since that incident I did not want to make any friends, I did not trust people anymore, not even my mother. She betrayed me by sending me back to our hometown, treating me like I was a nobody to her. I never felt like I belonged anywhere, I am used of being passed around by others.

As soon as we drove through the streets of my hometown, little memories started resurfacing and I smiled. It was good to be back, to be honest, I have always loved this area. I never actually wanted to leave it behind, I just really had no choice but to do otherwise.

When we finally arrived to the house where we had once lived, a whirlwind of emotions hit me like a truck. My father stepped out from his car service, wiping his oily hands onto a used black cloth, which was once white. He looked tired and worried, mimicking the same expressions reflected on my mother’s face.

I stepped out from the car, looking around a little bit. Nothing has changed since I had last been here, and that was a long time ago. We never came back after the separation, my father used to visit us when he had the time, but it was rare, and our relationship went from having a happy father-daughter connection, to a shallow 'How's school? Good.' connection.

As I looked around, my parents were talking quietly just so I wouldn’t overhear them, but I knew they were talking about me. They were talking, and then suddenly my mother was moving, giving me a kiss on my cheek and saying 'Don't get into any trouble', leaving me there like I was an abandoned cat, handed back to the streets because it kept causing trouble. She chose the easier way, passing me into the hands of my father.

I pushed my bike into the garage and covered it with a blanket, I did not want Toothless to be dusty from all the dirt flying around the air. My dad showed me around the house acting as if I was there for the first time. I stepped inside my old room; everything was just how I had left it. The old drawing in which I had drawn our once happy family, and even my little pink shoes, which I had cried about leaving behind accidentally. Everything was the same, except me.

I got enrolled into the local University. I wanted to learn still as I had nothing to do; I needed to keep my mind busy. As I was headed to the new University on my bike, I felt anxiety crawling up through my body. I never liked new places, and besides, this was a little town, everyone knew everyone. And so, I was the new girl in town to them. The girl who came back after years of being gone. I don't really think anybody is actually aware of who am I. I had changed.

I arrived to the parking lot of the university, and cut the engine of Toothless. I sighed before I got off my bike, taking off my raven black helmet with red lines on it. My anxiety had finally crawled through my body, managing to reach my mind and thoughts, clouding them and keeping me locked in, not letting me go for even a second. My thoughts had always been my biggest enemy. Overthinking made me feel anxious about even the littlest things. It wasn’t good as this influenced my behavior, all the time. I tried to gather myself, not having noticed that somebody was watching me.

"Princess is back in town and has a little motorcycle, I see." I jumped at the sudden deep voice coming from behind me.

I turned around and saw a very familiar looking, handsome, guy in front of me, but I did not remember his name. He was smirking at me, his eyes sharp like a knife, glaring at me like he was a predator and I was his prey. He was wearing a black hoodie that hugged his broad shoulders perfectly, with black shorts that reached his knees, pairing with red Jordans.

"And who are you?" I asked frowning; I really did not know him, he looked familiar, but I could not place a name to his face.

He just tilted his head, looking at me sharper than before, "You don't remember me? I'm Choi San."

He was frowning his thick eyebrows, a little cut in his left eyebrow making his glare more intense.

Choi San, the mayor's son. Now I knew who he was, and I did not fucking like him. He was always the annoying rich kid from school, always stuck-up, acting all-mighty due to his family being rich. And he didn’t like me either anymore. At the beginning we were friends, but then shit started happening at home—my parents arguing constantly, not even noticing me anymore—and so, I closed myself off, not wanting to befriend anyone. I was just a child, my parents constantly arguing was a big enough trauma for me to stop caring about other things. So, I pushed San away, who, I assume, took it to heart since he started hating me and acting like a total jackass, not letting me live. It was like that until I left my hometown, leaving everyone behind.

"Oh, well then, I don't care." I said while grabbing my helmet from my bike and turning around to leave. I did not have the energy for this arrogant prick, he didn’t change at all, I could tell by his one little sentence.

He laughed, "Princess is mad, huh? Is that a Yamaha R1?"

He had asked while pointing at my bike, not letting me leave quite yet.

I sighed and turned around looking at him annoyed, "No, it's an R6."

My answer was short and snappy.

"That's from one of the newest series. I bet you begged on your knees your rich stepfather to buy it for you." He laughed sarcastically, and it sounded like an engine that needed an oil change. I sneered at the thought.

It hurt, it hurt because he didn’t know how many days I didn’t sleep because I had shift after shift, working my ass off. My stepfather and mother didn’t want to buy me a bike, actually they hated just the idea of it, but I didn’t care, so I took as many jobs as I could, and after three years of hard work, I finally get to buy this beauty. It had nothing to do with my stepfather. San was just being his old self, being an asshole, judging even though he did not know anything at all.

"Just fuck off, San." I snapped before walking towards the building. I was starting to get annoyed, but I didn’t let it show because I knew that was what he wanted out of this exchange. To piss me off, get on my nerves.

I finally stepped inside the building. I was a bit lost; I didn't know where I was supposed to go now.

"Let's race someday or are you scared, baby?" But San suddenly stopped next to me, looking at me arrogantly, not leaving me alone.

I laughed at the nickname, it was cringe, what the hell was he thinking? "I don't do shit like that."

I didn’t even spare him a glance.

"Then why do you have a motorbike?" San asked, looking at me like the police officer had when he was interrogating me.

"I obviously use it to go to church." I rolled my eyes as I started walking down the corridor. I got a lot of curious looks from the other students littered around in the hallways.

"I bet you raced in that big town of yours." San said, of course, following me.

I suddenly stopped in my tracks, and looked at him with deadly eyes, "Can't you just go and fucking annoy somebody else?"

"Princess is being mean for what? I just wanted to welcome you back in town." He said with a smirk on his lips.

"Oh, how humble" I said ironically, "Thank you for your kindness."

I smiled at him and saluted him before turning around. I did not have the energy for this egoistic guy.

I somehow found the director's office. He handed over my schedule and wished me good luck, and I was abandoned again in the empty corridor.

I was looking at my schedule, trying to figure out which classroom I needed to get in.

 "Hey, new girl, are you lost?" I heard a voice calling out to—me— I had assumed.

I looked up and I found myself standing in front of a tall, black-haired boy, with the kindest smile I had ever seen in my entire life. He was wearing bright colors, which highlighted his bright smiley face, he looked like a walking sunshine.

"Hi, yes, a little bit." I said while looking at my schedule confused.

"Let me see." He took the paper from my hands and looked at it humming, "Oh, you are in the same major as me. I'm headed to that class; I can show you the way."

He offered me up with a sweet smile.

"Oh my god, thank you, you saved me." I huffed the air out from my lungs.

"This way." He pointed out the direction with his finger, and we started to walk towards the classroom.

"By the way, I'm Yunho." He said, reaching his hand out towards me.

I smiled while shaking his hand, "Y/N, nice to meet you. How did you know I am the new girl?"

I had asked him curiously.

"Everyone knows, it's a little town, the rumors here spread like the plague." He shivered with a smile.

I chuckled, "Oh, I see. Too bad, I just wanted to remain unknown."

"Your dad is quite famous in town, did you know? So, I assume he told someone you are coming, and puff, the rumors are everywhere." He gave me a side glance as he smiled.

"Yeah, maybe." I said, thinking about the fact that my father has a car service, which, I assume, is the only one in town. Therefore, people meet up with him constantly, thinking more of it, it isn’t a surprise that people know who I am, in the end it, it is a little town. We arrived to the classroom, and headed in.

The day went by quickly. I was glad I met Yunho, he was a funny guy, and he led me around the University, making funny comments about some students. I really needed him in order to integrate into this new community, which I was once part of ten years ago. It was as if I had to relive the past, as if I was walking down the same path, I had done so ten years ago, a path which might have changed during my absence. It felt like I had to start everything from the very beginning.

  The days passed by quickly, and I just tried to avoid being in the spotlight as I found out everyone knew me, but I knew nobody, because who would remember the people they had met while being just a little kid? As I was randomly walking on the street, headed to get some groceries, random people would say hello and even ask how my mom was. I just quickly answered them, but I didn’t know who they were.  I didn’t like the attention, when all the eyes were on me, so I tried to lay low, live my life quietly.

Then one day, as I had gotten closer to Yunho, he somehow convinced me to attend a party held by some guy named Song Mingi. I wore casual clothes, meaning simple black ripped jeans paired with a black crop-top, and a leather jacket. I am a biker, so the leather jacket is a must, even when you have to leave your bike behind, as I had done now. I felt like drinking something. I hadn’t gotten drunken in a while, not that this was my purpose for the night.

Yunho came to pick me up with his navy-blue Nissan GT-R. The car was beautiful inside out. And that is when I found out that Yunho used to do street racing, held by some local racing company. That's another reason as to why we became friends so quickly, as we were interested in the same things.

  When we arrived to the house where the party was held at, it was already crowded. Luckily, there was the opportunity to stay outside, next to the pool, and so, I told Yunho I didn't really want to go into the crowd. He stayed with me, and to our luck, we found some alcohol outside too. There was a table next to the pool, and there were a whole bunch of alcoholic drinks on it, so, we took some tequila shots. As we were talking about some of Yunho's street races, I heard someone approaching us.

"Where did you leave your expensive bike, princess?" He clapped his hands together, reaching for a can of beer, opening it quickly with his thumb. He was wearing dark jeans, a white T-shirt, and on top a leather jacket. At least he knew the unsaid rule of the bikers. Leather jacket is a must, like I have said.

I looked at him with a glare, "I left it at church since I got drunk on the communion wine."

I said annoyed as it was my last wish to meet him tonight, “Just leave me alone, San.”

"Where's the fun in that?" He leaned close to my face, bending down to be at the same height as me, whispering it in my face.

"The fun must be where you brain is, which you seem to be lacking in." I pointed at his head.

He laughed loudly, "You'll see where is the fun when I beat you at the race."

He glared at me with his typical sharp gaze. It whispered danger. And I liked danger.

“I said I don’t race; do you have issues with your long-term memory now?” Despite meaning to be teasing and unabashed, my voice came out a little angry as I frowned.

“I saw the news about your little incident. You can’t be fooling everyone and telling them you nearly got arrested, princess.” He spread his arms, as he raised his voice, so everyone could hear it who was outside. I felt everyone’s eyes on us, coming closer, way too interested in hearing what the whole fiasco was about.

My blood had started boiling and I clenched my fists together, until my knuckles turned white. I was blinded by my sudden anger towards San, I just wanted to wipe that annoying, arrogant, smile off of his face. I stepped closer to him, my face inches away from his, as his back was facing the pool. He just needed a little encouragement for a swim, and so, I strongly pushed him towards the pool, and before he could fall in, I quickly whisked the beer out of his hand, and lifted it into the air.

“Have a good swimming, Choi San.” I placed the beer down on the table. That was my que to leave him there. I could feel his glare pointed at my back from the pool as he swum to the surface. I could feel his annoyance, that he felt embarrassed. I smirked to myself, Choi San, you have no idea whom you’re trying to annoy. Yunho came after me quickly and gave me a high-five for the move I had just pulled off.

  The next hours at the party were spent by drinking and dancing, as I went into the dancing crowd. I just wanted to disappear in the crowd and feel good. I tried to avoid San the whole night as I didn’t want to see his furious side, San, who got humiliated by me. It was funny, I had to smile the whole time as I remembered his face when I pushed him into the pool, amused by the whole ordeal. I also got to know the guy who threw the party as Yunho introduced us to each other. Mingi was a tiny bit shorter than Yunho, but you could barely notice. He had a buzz cut and rocked his blonde hair; his sharp nose completed his small eyes well. He wore a black T-shirt with some silver necklaces around his neck, and black ripped jeans. His nails were painted black with some rings on his fingers. I am not going to lie; he was hot as hell. And I also found out that he races alongside with Yunho. He owns a Toyota Supra, and that nearly made me faint when he told me about it, because it’s a rare car. He then proceeded to show it to me. It was so beautiful and unique due to its painting. It was kind of a papaya orange with some words on it painted on it, 'Fix on' and 'Youth'. I really liked it.

I had asked the boys about what kind of race San spoke about, and they said it’s an illegal motorbike race, which happen to be very rare here. I quickly tried to forget about it. I didn't want to cause trouble again; I had promised my mom and also myself to stay low, to be better. San was just provoking me; I wouldn’t fall into his trap.

  The next day at university as I was walking down the corridor, headed to the cafeteria, something immediately caught my eyes. It was a poster with a motorbike on it, of course it caught my eyes. I went closer to read it. It said that a motorbike competition was to be held, and the prize were some new parts to upgrade your motorcycle. This was the competition San was talking about, and it's going to be held tonight on the deserted streets of the city. I'm not going to lie; it piqued my interest. I miss speeding down the roads, the adrenaline coursing through my veins every time I race. And my bike is in urgent need of an upgrade, because these past days it felt like something was wrong with it, but I couldn’t figure out what it was exactly. For now, I'm going to let it go, but I still took the poster with me…just in case.

Evening came and I was in my room, I barely talked to my father all day, nothing unusual. Sometimes when I'm alone, and that happens a lot recently, I just start thinking about useless things that make me feel weak. I have never opened up to anyone before, I was never that kind of person, and besides, I always thought it's useless to open up to someone, because in the end they never truly care about me. And the fact that I was betrayed by my own "friends", it just confirms that I really should just stick to myself. I'm not going to say that it didn’t hurt when I saw my friends running away from the police, pushing me straight in front of them, telling me, "You are the new girl, handle it." Funny, I'm the new girl everywhere, I'm not going to belong anywhere, I am always going to be the new girl. They thought it was a nice joke, it wasn't; it ruined me. I started to think that the problem was me, that I deserved this, that I am not enough. As some time went by, I realized it wasn't my fault, but these thoughts still remained deep in my heart. And I will carry it with myself for a long time.

Here I am again, thinking about these things. These are those moments, when I need to clear my head. My solution for it is going out into the chilly air with my bike, cutting through the wind with the highest speed my bike can handle. The feeling of it being night, and I'm alone with Toothless, speeding through unknown streets, I feel like it's just me and my bike in this whole world. It’s like therapy for me. It just…understands me, just like the feeling you get while listening to music; sometimes you listen to a sad song, it makes you sad, it just describes your feelings, but if you are happy and you listen to that exact same song, it'll bring happy tears out of you.

  I was going around the city aimlessly, when suddenly I saw a bunch of bikers headed somewhere. That's when I realized they were going to the competition. My heart started to beat quickly. I started inhaling and exhaling slowly, just the thought of racing made my blood boil, my skin itch, awakening my body like nothing else.

And as I kept following after them, suddenly I realized I arrived to the location of the competition. It was really my subconscious taking over, driving me here. I slowed down a little. There were a lot of people around crowding the bikers, watching their unique motorcycles. Some background music accompanied the sound of the engines as it melted together, creating an intriguing melody. The atmosphere here were totally different compared to the one in the big city. Back there it was just serious faces, who hated each other. But here, I only saw smiles and laughs even between the racers as it seemed like everyone looked at each other friendly, not viewing the other as the enemy.

I stopped my bike, turning the engine off after having parked it. I noticed some curious eyes on me. I didn't know what to do now, I was totally alone. I didn’t know anyone, but I needed to fight my anxiety as I took my helmet off. My helmet always gave me safety, kept me unknown, and that's what I always wanted.

When I stepped next to my bike, someone immediately caught me into a hug. It was Yunho. He lifted me up in the air and smiled.

"Oh my God, you are here, Y/N!" He said excitedly, putting me down.

I laughed, "Yes, I am. I don't know how exactly, I was out for a ride, and then I found myself here."

I said placing my helmet down on my bike.

"I am so happy you are here." Yunho said, his smile never disappearing.

"Yeah, I can see that." I chuckled looking at his bright face.

"Will you sign up for the competition?" He asked me with curious eyes.

I sighed, "I'm here so—I guess?"

I lifted my hands into the air, shrugging.

"Yes!" Yunho fist bumped the air happily, making me chuckle.

He then led me to a person at which I needed to sign up for the competition. I didn't know who I was going to compete against, just until Choi San came to sign up as well. I had already finished signing up as I stood aside with Yunho, while he leaned towards me and quietly started to introduce each racer.

"Did you know that we are going to race against each other, princess?" San said, throwing a quick glance my way with his sharp eyes, signing the paper in front of him. I checked him out very quickly, hoping nobody would notice. He was wearing his typical leather jacket but with a black T-shirt underneath, and ripped jeans this time. His black hair fell into his eyes as he finished filling out the paper. Every woman very noticeably thirsted after him, and I wasn't an exception…he’s fucking hot. What a shame he has a shitty personality.

I rolled my eyes and ignored him, tuning to face Yunho, who was talking to some guy I didn't know. Did San really not understand that I didn’t want to talk to him?

"I want to race against her." I heard San's voice coming from behind me. I turned around to look at him annoyed.

"You can’t get rid of me so fast." He winked at me, that fucker.

"I will, on the track." I smiled at him sweetly, turning around again as I went back to my bike with Yunho, adrenaline slowly starting to course through my body. I had to win this, I had to wipe that confident smile off of San's face.

The race started, it was a drag racing, meaning three bikers were lined on the starting point, it was a shorter straight section, then as the lights turned green from red, you just needed to shift the gears up as perfectly as you could. The first who reaches the finish line wins. Speed mattered only here, and how detailed you are about the gearing.

A few bikers were already done with the race, and I watched them curiously. Slowly, it was our turn to race. People were loud and they cheered whenever their favorites won.

I rolled over to the starting point. One guy was already there and I found out that I'm going to race against San and a guy named Hongjoong, whose nickname was the Devil. I didn't know him, but Yunho said he is one of the most well-known bikers in the town. He had a Honda CBR. His bike was sick, it was bright red and the owner sitting on it with his red helmet really looked like the Devil himself, I get why they call him that.

As I rolled next to him, I glanced towards my right as he was there. He looked at me and bowed his head, I did the same. It was a sign of respect. I liked the guy already.

San arrived to my left side with his Suzuki GSX, painted also with a very dark red, reminding me of blood, mixed with some black. These guys weren't playing, their bikes were absolute monsters. I could almost hide with Toothless, but my bike was almost on the same level as theirs, so I saw hope in winning this.

When the announcer spoke, saying our names and a few things about our motorbikes, I slowly started to focus on the task at hand. I did not hear anything else, just my fast-beating heart. I fixed my eyes ahead, breathing in and out. The engine sounds pushed away the crowd’s noise. The red light suddenly switched green, and I quickly lifted my left foot off the ground, concentrating on the perfect timing of the gearing, bending over a little to adjust with the speed. From the outside it looks like three bikes quickly reach the finish line, but when you are the driver, it feels like the longest minutes of your life.

At the beginning the three of us were head-to-head, then I was the one who was leading. I could feel the victory coursing through my bloodstream already. But suddenly, I heard a puffing noise from my engine, and it stopped without any warning. My bike started to slow, the thoughts of winning long forgotten.

'Shit, shit, no, no, no, no, no!' I mumbled to myself. I could barely stop; my bike was still resonating.

The two other racers quickly passed by me, leaving me with my broken bike. I glanced forward and saw San reaching the finish line first. I was so fucking close. I hit my bike angrily, and got off it to push it over to the side. This is the worst feeling ever, when you are so close that you can already feel the win, but then something out of your control happens and it’s not your fault, you can’t do anything about it, you’re only left with cursing the world, asking, 'Why me?'

I could feel something was faulty with my bike, but I didn't think it was this bad. I heard someone running my way. It was Yunho, and when he reached me, he leaned his hands on his knees, catching his breath.

"Fuck, what happened?" He asked straightening up, still breathing quickly from running.

"I don't know, the engine just stopped working." I kicked my bike. I loved Toothless, but when it did things like this, I felt like I was going to throw it out.

Yunho came closer to my bike, to try and see what the problem was. He crouched down to take a closer look as I stood next to him, using the flash of my phone to help him see better. I heard an engine slowing down next to us. Of course it was San, he took his black helmet off, smiling at me deviously.

"Daddy's money wasn't enough for a normal motor? It’s called karma, princess.” He said with a death glare, smirking annoyingly. “This is because you fucking pushed me into the pool."

Why the hell did he enjoy spitting out words that made no sense at all?

I could feel my blood boiling, my biggest desire at the moment being the want to punch that confident smile off his annoying face. I was so close doing it, I swear to God, I was ready to punch him hard, but that little sanity I was clinging on to did not let it happen. I always had problems controlling my anger. But slowly, I learned to handle it. I learned how to manage these feelings, so I just let it bounce off of me.

"Next time I’m going to push you into the sea, if you don’t stop being an asshole. Go, celebrate your fucking win, you really deserve it." I said, staring at him with deadly eyes.

"Your wish is my command, Princess." He saluted with a smirk, and then placed his helmet back on, driving away with his annoyingly loud engine. I scoffed as I watched him roll away.

"I think I'm going to call my dad, there's no hope in fixing it." I sighed. I'm going to get into so much trouble now. I was forbidden from racing, my dad won't be happy, I'm sure. But it is what it is. At least the cops didn't show up this time.

I called my dad and told him what happened. I was nervous of how he would react. To my surprise, his first question was about my well-being. He said he was coming.

While I was waiting alone for my dad—I told Yunho that he could since my dad was coming— Hongjoong stopped by my side, taking his helmet off. His blonde hair fell into his face as he ruffled his hair. He was damn handsome, he looked so soft, the opposite of his nickname.

"Everything alright?" He asked, his eyes full of understanding.

"Not really, my engine is broken, so yeah…" I said with a sad smile.

"Can I help you with anything?" He looked at me as if he really understood what I was feeling right now.

"No, thank you, I'm waiting for my dad to pick us up." I pointed at my bike.

"Okay, such a shame this happened. It was a good race." He smiled at me and then reached his fist towards me.

"Yeah, it could’ve be a good one." I fist bumped him, smiling.

"Next time perhaps then." He winked at me sweetly, "If you need any help, I'mma be around." He put his helmet back on.

"Okay, thank you." I smiled at him sincerely.

He rolled away quickly, leaving me there with my thoughts. Now, that's what I'm talking about. Why aren't there more people like him on Earth? He looks like an angel, not like the devil I suppose he is—on track. I was intrigued, I wanted to get to know him better. San could really learn a thing or two from him.

  My dad arrived after a few minutes and we quietly placed my bike up on the trailer. As we were headed home, silence settled around us. I could feel he was pissed.

"I'm sorry." I said, looking straight ahead at the road, not wanting to see his disappointed expression.

"What did you think?" He started, "That you would race and I wouldn’t ever find out about it? It's a little town, Y/N, you already know how fast rumors spread here."

He glanced at me for a second.

"I know, I didn’t think, I just miss racing." Tears appeared in my eyes. "Please don't tell mom. She will send me to Azkaban after this."

Call it a defense mechanism, a trauma response, but I had always been like this��joking in serious situations.

I glanced at him and saw a very small smile appear on his lips, "I won't tell her, but it was very bold of you to race again. You can't do that, you know it, it'll have consequences."

He lectured me.

"Yeah, I know. Thank you for not telling mom." I said, relief spreading through my body.

"But you're still punished. You have to help me in the car service after school." He said glancing at me with a serious look.

"Okay, and maybe we could fix my bike too?" I said, glancing at him with a smile.

My father smiled back, "Maybe after we fixed some cars, we could check it out next week."

I clapped happily, "Thank you!"

The rest of the ride until we got home was quiet, I was happy my father was this understanding. I thought as soon as he finds it out, he'll send me back to mom, passing me between each other like I was a tennis ball. But to my surprise, it was the opposite, and I really didn't mind working in the car service. At least we could spend some more time together. I hoped we could fix our relationship, alongside with the cars, of course.

  My days went by and they all were quite the same. I attended my classes at university, then my whole afternoon went by fixing cars with my father. He managed to teach me a lot of things about cars, even though my world was all about motorbikes I was always interested in cars too. I was planning on buying a car, but I needed to put that aspiration aside for a while. My priority was fixing my bike so I could finally ride it.

We checked out my bike and we found out that my engine was overheated, and that's why it shut down. An engine upgrade was needed, and we changed the turbo as well while we were at it. It was going to be even more powerful than before; I was so excited to finally try it out. On some days, Yunho and Mingi would come by the car service to check on me, and they even started helping me out in fixing my bike. We started getting closer, we laughed a lot in between the late-night repairing.

Yunho and Mingi invited me to watch their races, which were going to be held today. I had never been to races like this one before, so I happily accepted the invitation. I could finally try my bike out as I was headed to the race. It felt so good riding it again after a while. I felt like I could breathe again. I think I had gotten addicted to this feeling.

The race was held at the race track of the town, in the afternoon. The sun was slowly going down as I rode my bike, painting my black bike and helmet with the shade of dark orange.

When I arrived to the track, there were lots of people being excited about the race. It was a drag race again, but with cars this time. I looked around and I saw different types of cars, each looking very sick and unique. I started to feel excited as I was rolling down between the cars, searching for Yunho's parked car.

Then, I suddenly recognized someone with a blonde hair. He noticed me and started walking towards me with a smile. I stopped and took off my helmet.

"Fixed your bike, huh?" Hongjoong approached me with a genuine smile.

"Yeah, finally." I pet my bike with a smile.

"I'm glad, we shall try it out some day." He said with his white teeth flashing.

"We shall." I smiled back at him. I would wholeheartedly race with him again.

"Are you racing?" I asked with a frown.

"No, I came to watch, I won't betray my beast." He laughed sweetly. I swear to God, his laugh was like music to my ears, "You came to watch too?"

"Yeah, I've never been to races like this one before." I said, feeling excited.

"We can watch it together; I know the best place where we can watch it from." Hongjoong offered with a sweet smile.

"Okay." I accepted his offer quite easily, "But first, I want to wish Yunho and Mingi good luck."

"Come, you can put your bike down there, I’ll show you where they are." He pointed towards my right, where I could park my bike.

I pushed my bike to the designated area, and brought my helmet with myself. I did not want to leave my treasure there. Hongjoong lead the way to where Yunho's blue GT-R was parked, next to Mingi's orange Supra. These two cars next to each other looked so good. I was very tempted to take a picture of them.

I approached Yunho and hugged him from behind, surprising him. He laughed, "You came, finally."

"I would never miss it." I smiled looking up at him. He was wearing his racing suit with colors that matched his car. His hair was lazily brushed over his forehead, almost reaching his eyes.

I hugged Mingi too, the top part of his orange racing suit lazily hung around his waist, a white T-shirt underneath. This orange clothing suit him very well, highlighting his blonde buzz cut. They looked handsome. What is it today, everyone is looking so good?!

"I'm going to be in the crowd, watching you guys, good luck. Fighting!" I smiled and hugged them both again. Hongjoong also wished them good luck, resorting to giving them high-fives.

"Thanks, we'll try." Yunho said laughing.

We then walked to the spot Hongjoong mentioned before. It was really a good one, we could see everything from here. The crowd started to cheer as the first cars appeared on the track. It was a 2v2. Yunho was the first one, competing against a Mitsubishi Lancer. It was going to be hard to beat that car, but Yunho did not disappoint, and he won with a lot of advantage. Every minute counted here; they were measuring the time up until you crossed the finish line. Time mattered here as it could beat your opponent.

After a lot of quick races, the sun went down, street lamps were lighting the track up, the crowd cheering loudly. We laughed a lot with Hongjoong, and he explained the rules of the races we were witnessing. I finally felt happy after a long time, I loved the atmosphere here.

That is until someone sat next to me.

"Now you’re into cars too? Tell your stepdad to send you a car, a broken one perhaps." San said, looking at me with those fucking annoying sharp eyes of his.

Every time he appears, my mood is fucked, "I will, now leave me the fuck alone."

I had said not looking at him.

San laughed, "Not until we're racing with equal chances."

"Oh, so now you admit it wasn't a fair win for you?" I looked at him with a glare.

"No, I would've won anyways. I just wanted to see how much you could push. But your bike said, nah. I bet it'll fall apart again." He said, leaning closer to me.

My blood started boiling, it was one thing if I was the one saying shit about Toothless, but him spitting out these words about my bike were not allowed. Ever. San was provoking me, and I knew it, I fucking knew it, yet…

"Come, I'll fucking beat you this time." I looked at him with blazing eyes, starring at him sharply.

He stood up smiling, "It'll be my pleasure, princess."

He put his right hand on his heart and bowed.

Oh, how I would hit him in the face, I had nightmares about that fucking confident smile.

I stood up, Hongjoong grabbed my hands to make me look at him, "It's not the best time going out there, Y/N."

He said with concern in his voice.

"I don't care, I want to wipe that confident smile off his face." I was long gone, there was no chance of anyone convincing me doing otherwise.

Hongjoong stood up, looking at me with concern, "But please be careful, call me if anything happens."

He held my hands, he really looked concerned.

"Don't worry, savior. I'll keep her safe." San glared at Hongjoong with the deadliest stare I've ever seen.

Hongjoong stepped closer to San, letting go of my hands. "If anything happens to her because you’re a fucking idiot and your ass is just itchy, you'll regret it, I promise."

Hongjoong stared back at San, and in this moment, he really looked like the Devil. I stood between them as they were eyeing each other, glaring with their noses flared.

Whoa, whoa, hold on a second, what was happening right now—

"Okay, guys, stop! Let's not waste any more time and get this shit over." I looked at San, losing my patience.

He winked at me and then smiled, his dimples appearing. Did I just notice he has dimples?

He did not wear his usual black leather jacket tonight; it was a leather jacket with some red on its sleeves and on the waist with white lines. On the front there was a writing 'SUZUKI', referring to his motorbike being the same brand. I’m not going to lie; he looked hot as fuck.

We walked over to our bikes, which were parked next to each other. I sat on my bike.

"So where are we going? You know this town." I looked over to my left side to meet San's gaze.

"There's a freeway not far from here. There’ll be traffic, but it’s more exciting that way." He smirked.

I started my engine and reached my hand out, motioning to him to show me the way. We both placed our helmets on, and then it was game on from there on. There was no turning back anymore.

I followed San, turning on unknown streets, it was barely a five-minute ride. We stopped where the freeway began.

"The winner is who gets to the end of the freeway first. It's not that long." He told me through his helmet, being on my left side.

I just nodded, it was late into the evening, but the cars ahead of us were countless. It was a three-lane road, people might’ve been going home from work, because there were a lot of cars. We lined up at the side of the road, in front of the red light. San pointed at that, signaling that if it turns green, we start. I started to reeve the engine, my legs in starting position with my eyes focused on the road ahead of me, counting the cars, and analyzing how could I pass by them. Adrenaline crawled through me; my skin covered in goosebumps. I have never felt like this before, I was so hyped about winning this. I had to win this.

The red light suddenly changed to green, and I quickly lifted my foot off the ground, bending over my bike and shifting up. We slid through the cars like the river runs through the rocks. We were two quick arrows passing by the cars, wheezing from left to right. At first, we were head-to-head, but I got lucky and I could pass by a big truck very quickly. San wasn't that lucky, he stayed behind a little. We arrived to a tunnel; sudden strong light hit my eyes. Traffic was lesser here, so, San quickly caught up with me. The sound of our engines were so loud that its echo bounced of the tunnel’s walls. It was like music, the two-engine sound melting into each other. I'm not going to lie, I was enjoying it so much as I have never felt like this before, it was the definition of freedom. I quickly glanced at San and he lifted his arms, giving me a thumps up, then quickly passed by me. But I did not let that happen, I went after him. We arrived to the end of the tunnel, sudden darkness hitting me now, my eyes needed a few minutes to adopt to the dark again. As cars were in front of us, I quickly took the chance to go in between two cars, and I was leading again. Until I suddenly saw red and blue lights flashing from behind.

Shit, shit, no, not again—

It felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest, it was beating so fast. I can't get caught again, no way. I started to panic, and suddenly all strength escaped my body as I started to slow down. I couldn’t think straight as all thoughts left my mind seeing those colors again, getting flashbacks of that night. The lights, then being pushed straight into the cop’s hands, my friends running away, leaving me alone. San was suddenly next to me.

"Hey, Y/N, don't slow down, we need to lose them! I know a shortcut, follow me!" He yelled over the sounds of our engines and through his helmet, as I suddenly was back from the flashback as I looked behind me, seeing as the cops getting closer and closer.

I just nodded, suddenly feeling my strength coming back to me. There's no way they will catch me again. I quickly followed after San, passing by the cars, the police still following us, getting closer. San turned right onto a street, then left. We went through alleys and little streets, where only a bike would fit. I had no idea where were we, but I didn't care, because it seemed like San's plan was working and the red and blue lights were now far away from us. Suddenly, San turned left and went inside an abandoned factory's court. He quickly stopped and turned off the engine, signaling for me to do the same. I rolled next to him, and switched the key to turn off the engine. I glanced behind my back, I didn't see any signs of the police, but I still felt like I couldn’t breathe. I took off my helmet quickly, starting to inhale and exhale quickly.

"Fuck." I ran my fingers through my hair stressed, pulling it away from my face.

"Come, let's go inside, bring your bike too." San said, getting off his bike as he started pushing it towards the building.

As I got off my bike, I was shaking, the adrenaline was still in my blood. We brought our bikes inside and I needed to sit quickly. I sat down, pressing my back against my bike, lifting my knees up to my chest.

"I think they're gone." San sat down, doing the same as me.

He glanced over me, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I said, still not looking at him.

"Are you really that scared of the cops?" I could hear it in his voice that he was smiling.

"San, this is really not the time where you can say shit like that." I glanced over at him. I guess he saw my expression, because his face changed.

"Sorry, I didn’t—" We lifted our heads up as we heard the siren sounds. The red and blue lights lit the walls of the factory, and my heart dropped to my stomach.

"Shit, shit, they are coming here." I stood up, San did too. But suddenly, I heard the sirens getting further and further away. I let out the big breath I was holding this whole time.

"They just passed by, idiots." San laughed.

I glanced over at him in disbelief, and sat down again next to my bike.

San mirrored me, "We need to wait a little, though, so they will give up searching for us."

"You were in these kinds of situations a lot, huh?" I asked San, staring ahead into the darkness.

"Kinda, that's why I knew what to do." He said sighing. Quiet fell over us as we both were thinking, probably not about the same things as he spoke up, "But I don't get it. What did you do that you got almost arrested? Did you crash your bike and kill someone?”

He looked at me frowning. I scoffed at him; I really couldn’t believe he was like this.

"You don't know anything about me, so please stop assuming things when you don't know shit." I stared at him angrily, "It's making me feel sick, San. I'm so fucking tired of your comments, what did I do to you for you to behave like this with me?"

I asked him, looking his way then at my hands, "I was just fucking racing because I love to do so. Why is that so bad? Don’t you do the same thing, San? I’ve got arrested because my friends left me there, so I was blamed for that whole mess, on my own. So, please, ask before you talk shit."

There was a minute of silence, "Fuck, I didn't know, Y/N. I don't fucking know why I'm an asshole with you. It is so easy to piss you off."

I glanced at him; he was staring ahead as he ran his fingers through his raven black hair.

"And you are enjoying this?" I scoffed at him in disbelief.

"Of course I don’t, it’s just—" He turned my way, "Lately I did it just because I wanted to race against you and I thought if I provoke you, then you'll come. I know it sounds stupid, but don't say you didn't like it."

He seemed nervous a little. Choi San being nervous, interesting.

"I did enjoy it, San. But what the hell, why couldn't you just ask me nicely if I wanted to come with you? I would've, if you weren't such an asshole.” I looked at him, “And our bickering or whatever did not start here.”

"Yeah…I know." He looked down at his hands, "When we were kids you suddenly just got cold and pushed me away like I was some garbage. I was a little kid, it hurt."

He admitted. I didn’t recognize this San, this softer, nicer, side of him was strange to me.

"I was a little kid too. Kids are mean, you just had a weak heart." I said to him, "That does not mean you have to be an asshole your whole life, because I mistreated you when we were fucking kids. This is it, San. You need to adapt to some situations; you have to let go of foolish things at times."

I looked at him seriously.

"Forgive me for being such an asshole, you did not deserve it. I just tried to blame other people for my weaknesses." He admitted, and for a second, he looked vulnerable. But it vanished away quickly.

And suddenly we started sharing about our lives, the cops long forgotten, things that we didn't know about the other. I could see the side of him, which he rarely let anyone see. He could be really goofy, we laughed together, trying to recall the ridiculous situations we were in when we were just kids.

"And just so you know, I bought my bike, not someone else. I worked for it, for years. I took shift after shift, because I wanted something. You know…it hurt when you said those things to me." I suddenly felt like I had to tell him how much he stabbed a knife into my heart that day.

"Fuck this, this whole situation is ridiculous." He scoffed, his voice getting weaker. "I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucking tired of adapting to what people expect of me. I did this my whole life."

I looked at him as he buried his face into his palms.

Silence fell over the chilly air as San seemed to be on edge, while he quietly sniffed. I couldn’t believe that San was crying. It came out of the blue; I did not understand the cause of it.

Suddenly, I slipped next to him. I just wanted to hug him, he looked so broken. So, I went closer to him, still sitting on the ground, and hugged him tightly as he scooted closer to me and buried his face into my neck.

"It's okay, San. Sometimes life can be too much. Just let it out." I stroked his back patiently. I felt some tears falling onto my neck.

 I couldn’t believe I was hugging Choi San right now, but I have always been like this. I don't care if he harmed me, if he needs a shoulder to cry on in his most vulnerable moment, then I’m going to be there for him because no one deserves to be alone in these moments.

"I'm so tired, I'm sick of this pain…" He mumbled into my neck, sobbing a bit, "After my mom died—"

"Your mom died?" I lifted his head from my neck, cupping his face with my hands. I looked at him with round eyes. I didn't know his mother died; I was shocked.

"Yeah, right after you moved away..." He said, looking into my eyes with his puffy ones. He seemed empty, he seemed like he wasn't feeling anything at all, "She had cancer, she…She struggled a lot…and I was alone, I needed someone to be there for me, I tried…I really tried." He said, his voice getting quieter.

I did not want to believe what I just heard, his mom was an angel, everyone liked her when she stepped on the stage alongside with the town’s major. They looked like true leaders. I always looked up to her, and now she’s gone.

"Oh my God, I didn't know, San. I'm sorry for your loss.” I blinked away my own tears as I wiped away his, “If I would've known—"

I felt a bit overwhelmed.

Suddenly his expression changed, it seemed like he had realized what he had done in the last few minutes. He locked his feelings away, again. He thought he showed too much of his weaker, softer, side and suddenly, he started closing off, just like I used to do. The old San was coming back. He pushed my hands away from his face aggressively, not looking at me.

"Whatever, I don't need your pity." He stared ahead, and leaned back against his bike, lifting his knees up to his chest.

I scoffed, "What did I do now?”

I blinked at him, not understanding the sudden mood change, “Okay, you can't be helped. I tried, I really tried to be nice with you, but you are impossible."

I stood up, "I think the cops are long gone, let's get the fuck out of here." I pushed my bike outside not waiting for San. I sat on my bike, starting the engine. San arrived next to me, with his bike.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." He looked at me with sincerity, but I did not fall for it.

"Yeah, me too, have a good night." I said with a disappointed look and I put my helmet on to drive away quickly. I just needed to get as far away as possible from him.

  Weeks passed since that night. I tried to avoid San as much as I could. I just couldn't face him; I was so tired of his games. There were a few occasions when he tried to talk to me, but I just ignored him. It's not that I don't understand him, I do, I know what he's been through…at least I can imagine. That night, I tried to see his good side, but he did not let me in. And it hurt, because I knew he needed someone, and I would've been by his side. But he suddenly decided to push me away. He closed himself off, stayed in the dark, not allowing me to light his path for a way out. I really felt hopeful for a second that he could change, that he would lower his walls and let me in. But no, he'll just never change, so I gave up on hoping. At least I thought so, but these past days I just couldn't get him out of my mind. When I closed my eyes, I saw him as he smiled at me in for that few minutes when we were freely talking about ourselves. I'm not going to lie, I liked that side of San, it was so pure. And I would've never thought I was going to say such things about Choi San. But he made me feel strange things.

It was late into the night when I was still in the car service. A car needed to be fixed by tomorrow and I told my dad he could rest, he has worked all day long and I could see he was really tired, so I wanted to fix this car by tomorrow. The weather seemed like it would rain soon, lighting striking every few minutes.

Suddenly, I heard an engine sound from outside. I frowned, who it is this late? I opened up the garage door and I found myself facing a soaked San, getting off his Suzuki, staring at me the whole time. His clothes were starting to soak through, the raindrops falling off from his leather jacket. It had started pouring badly; I haven’t even realized it. My heart was beating fast. He took off his helmet, his hair immediately getting wet. San ran his fingers through his hair.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him without any emotion.

"I just want to talk to you, Y/N. Please, let me take you to a place." He looked at me with pleading eyes.

"In this weather, San, seriously?" I pointed out, still standing under the garage, safe from the pouring rain.

"It'll stop in a few minutes." He said his, black clothes soaked now, waterdrops falling off his face. 

"How do you know? Are you a weather expert now too?" I asked frowning. I was just as hostile as he once was towards me.

He chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair again. "I deserved that. Just like the pool."

He looked at me again. I could see a lot of regret in his eyes.

"That night, I closed myself off because your face reminded me of all the people who pitied me back then, when she died. I was only 11 years old, and I got sick of seeing those faces, it always reminded me of her death."

He started to tear up, his voice getting weak again, "Please, Y/N, forgive me. I know I fucked up everything, I just—you—you drive me crazy and I can't behave around you. I feel like when I'm near you I’ll lose my mind, like I’m not myself anymore. I said a lot of shitty things to you, and I judged you a lot even though I didn't know anything about you. I want to change that, I want to know you better, Y/N. I want to let you in, I'll do that if you also want it, but I hope you won't be scared of what you'll see."

I saw as teardrops fell down on his face, but the rain immediately washed it away, his voice cracking from the flow of emotions.

My heart wanted to jump out of my chest. I didn't except him to say things like these to me, "I'm not scared, San, to see your dark side. I never was, and I never will be."

Tears started to appear in my eyes, to my surprise, "You said some hurtful things to me, but I get it, I really do. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I was just so shocked, I didn't know…I didn't know, San."

I started to sob, tears falling from my face.

"I know, I know, baby." He stepped closer to me as he reached out for my hands pulling me out into the rain, into his chest. I cried into his chest as he rubbed my back up and down, my clothes and my hair soaked. I should’ve been the one comforting him, but in the end, I was the one sobbing like a little girl into his chest.

We stood in the heavy rain; our clothes wet, my hair sticking to my forehead yet he still hugged me like he never wanted to let me go. Caressing my back, he kissed the top of my head. I tried to inhale and exhale, so I could finally speak.

"I forgive you, and also I'm sorry." I whispered to him, lifting my head up from his chest.

He didn't let me go, his left hand was on my waist and he reached his right hand up to my cheeks to wipe off my tears, but they were wet again with tears and raindrops. "It's okay, don't cry, please, because then I'll cry too."

He smiled at me with the sincerity I've never seen before. His eyes were saying so much, it hurt. He finally let me in, allowed me to see his real self.

I laughed at that, and he followed suit, laughing together at this predicament, "Look at us, soaked like wet rats."

He smiled at me, never taking his sharp eyes off me.

Then suddenly his expression became serious, he stared at me as if I was his treasure, wanting to bury me, so no one could take me away, "I want to know you better, I want to know everything about you. What you like, what you don't, what is your favorite color, what do you like to eat, what you did while you were gone from here, what does it feel like to ride your bike…I want to know you, and never let you go."

He said, his hand still on my cheek, accompanied by his other one.

I smiled at him. I felt so happy at that exact moment, I didn't care if I was soaked, I only saw him, "Me too."

I said quietly.

He leaned closer to me, his lips almost touching mine, "Can I kiss you?"

He whispered against my lips sweetly.

Chills ran through my body. I never wanted anything more than him kissing me. I just nodded; words long forgotten. He closed the distance between us, and when our lips finally met, there was a loud thunder rumbling the world, lighting flashing around us and rain pouring from above, washing away our past where we said a lot of stupid things to each other. We could start with a clear page, melting our futures together. Our lips never stopped moving, it felt like heaven and hell met with each other as our lips moved against the other’s, just like when we were racing, both of us tried to win the other over. I welcomed San's darkness wholeheartedly and tried to scare it away with my light.

Then suddenly the rain stopped, and we separated from each other, looking up at the sky. The clouds were gone and the full moon was shining so brightly it looked like it was almost daylight.

I chuckled looking up, "You should apply to be a weatherman."

San was gazing at me so lovingly I felt like I was going to melt right there, "See? Now you can come with me, I want to show you something."

He held my hands.

"Okay, I should bring my bike then." I smiled at him, feeling as happiness crawled into my chest.

"It would be more proper if I was the one taking you there, but I want to race you." He held my waist and pecked my lips a few times. I still needed to get used to this San. I really liked it.

"I'm going to beat you." I scrunched my nose cutely.

"Okay, princess, but first, go change. I don't want you to catch a cold." He caressed my cheekbones.

"I'll bring you some clothes of dad’s, you'll catch a cold too otherwise." I kissed him quickly and then went inside the house, smiling like a fool, to grab some dry clothes.

  It was the middle of the night, but two engine sounds cut through the late-night life. We were going up on winding roads, forests covering both sides of the road. I was laughing beneath my helmet as San goofed around, slowing down and then speeding again. I think I have never felt more happier than right now. It was pure freedom going through these curvy roads, racing against each other. But in the end, it was just the two of us sharing our passion, riding our motorbikes, the moon shining upon us brightly, guiding our roads, showing our future ahead of us.

I finally knew I belonged somewhere, to someone. It was my hometown, and Choi San.

[greatyme]

i'd be interested in your recent movie list - it's nice to hear what people are watching 🥰

OOOHHH thank you for asking!!! This gives me the perfect excuse 2 talk abt some of my favs ty hehe <3 The genres, years, countries, etc. might be wildly different and there’s no particular order to what I’m gonna list but here we go:

1. The Spook Who Sat by the Door

Ivan Dixon; action/political drama; America; 1973

EVERYONE needs to watch this honestly… it’s probably my favorite film I’ve seen this year. The movie’s about the first Black man, Dan Freeman, to be trained by the CIA, who then quits and takes the techniques he’s learned to create a team of Black youths to fight for freedom and against racism. Even though it’s a fictional plot, the real FBI pulled it from theaters for being too radical, and it has indeed been described as “the only true Black radical movie ever made.” I seriously can’t recommend it enough

2. Medicine for Melancholy

Barry Jenkins; romance/drama; America; 2008

If you’re familiar with Moonlight, you already know this filmmaker. Medicine for Melancholy is Barry Jenkins’ first film, about the romance between Jo and Micah after a one night stand that takes place in San Francisco. Some things I like about it are the ways the city and its racial issues so heavily influence the characters’ relationship so much so that it essentially becomes a character in itself. Since this is Jenkins’ first film, the budget was smaller ($15k) and it has a different feel from his newer movies which I personally really liked

3. They Cloned Tyrone

Juel Taylor; sci-fi/mystery; America; 2023

This movie was released on barbenheimer day and was WAY BETTER THAN BOTH OF THEM!!!! When Fontaine, a drug dealer played by John Boyega, seemingly gets shot and killed, Slick, a pimp, is shocked to see him walking around the next day as if nothing happened. Together, Slick, Fontaine, and Yo-Yo, a sex worker, work to uncover what actually happened and find that it’s much bigger than they could’ve imagined. This is a FANTASTIC sci-fi film with some fantastic writing (a lot of great one-liners lmao) and all the actors do amazingly. Also, the title goes hard!

4. Bad Genius

Baz Nattuwat; thriller; Thailand; 2017

I literally watched this last night (happy birthday Nonkul!) lol. In this movie the character Lynn gets paid to work with her friends to help other high school students cheat on tests. When I tell you this had me SWEATING from stress. It was very entertaining, I really liked the way it was shot and how it consistently kept the tension up

5. Do the Right Thing

Spike Lee; drama/comedy; America; 1989

Taking place on an unbearably hot summer day, racial tensions rise between the Black civilians and the Italian owners of a pizzeria in Brooklyn. This is a v famous movie, directed by Spike Lee, and honestly many of the themes still ring true today

6. Sorry to Bother You

Boots Riley; sci-fi/comedy; America; 2018

Set in the Oakland, Cassius Green becomes a telemarketer and uses a “white voice” to do better at his job. But when his coworkers form a union, he decides to take a promotion instead, leading to unexpected consequences. I don’t want to spoil anything, and this is another famous movie that many people have probably already seen and have probably been spoiled BUT. there is a crazy twist. I really enjoyed the messages and craziness this movie had to offer

7. Marry My Dead Body

Cheng Wei Hao; comedy/mystery; Taiwan; 2022

I saw this with my friend on my birthday and honestly it could not have been a better way to watch it. A homophobic cop accidentally gets into an arranged marriage with a dead gay ghost. Is that not one of the best plot descriptions u have ever heard. It’s horror, it’s comedy, it’s gay, it’s a romance (TO ME! And like everyone else who watched it)… WHAT MORE COULD U WANT!! It gave me a similar feeling as Secrets in the Hot Spring & Pee Mak, two movies that somehow seem to cover So Many Genres & that I love sooo much (the former is my fav movie ever). I literally laughed so hard I almost peed myself at times <3

Other than that some other movies I watched & enjoyed this year are: Love Lies Bleeding (2024), Claudine (1974), Eve’s Bayou (1997), and Bottoms (2023). I don’t wanna make this too long so I’ll stop it here but I hope you enjoy these films too if you decide to watch any!!

[chacochilla]

Ramble about Uncommon Undertale Pairings

Not romantic pairings

Toriel and Papyrus:

To sum up what their relationship would be like, I think they'd both be like, the responsible parents to Frisk, until Toriel makes a bad pun, to which Papyrus would sigh that Sans is rubbing off on her, or that he just expected better, in a light hearted manner of course

From this old qna we can see that she packs him lunch, so I think she would be a little motherly towards him. Not really in a patronizing manner, just nice gestures, making sure he ate. And I think Papyrus would appreciate someone who's more put together compared to Sans, who keeps to schedules, cleans up after themselves.

Toriel and Undyne:

I think the only time the two interact (outside of the neutral endings) is when Toriel offers to help Undyne cook.

I think their relationship would be best summarized as, Undyne wanting to do wild shit, and Toriel keeping her from going overboard. To use cooking as an example, I think Toriel would let Undyne like, do her usual destroying the ingredients and using way too much heat, but she'd lend a hand to keep her from burning the house down and to teach her how to make edible food

Toriel and Alphys:

I think their relationship would be best summarized as, Alphys is into a lot of stuff that Toriel doesn't entirely understand (mostly anime and the internet), but Toriel makes the effort to try and get into that stuff for her. So I can see the two watching a show and Toriel asking a lot questions while Alphys info dumps explanations. And I think Toriel, even when she has no idea what's going on, would still enjoy herself and like hanging out with her

The two are co workers in Deltarune, so a little bit of the same deal there, though Toriel would be more in her element there while Alphys seems like she's still struggling to like, get her students' respect. I could see Alphys struggling to keep the students from going wild on some occassions, then Toriel comes in and everyone instantly shuts up, which Alphys would appreciate

Also the two interacted in the alarm clock app. She got drunk and started to try getting Alphys to sing with her:

It's such a funny image lmao. But ye I think that like, in those moments when Toriel gets drunk and betrays her usual serious no nonesense mom facade, it results in fun antics where she tries to get Alphys to break out of her shell a little

Sans and Undyne:

I'm pretty sure the only time these two interacted in game was when Undyne talks about how lazy and unreliable he is. I think their relationship would be pretty similar to Papyrus and Sans honestly, with Undyne getting on Sans' case while Sans just shrugs and takes a nap

A difference I could see being highlighted is that Undyne is a lot more gross than Papyrus. Like I can see Sans chugging a big thing of ketchup and Undyne like, cheering him on lol, wanting to see how much he could stomach before he throws up.

I can't really see the two ever becoming very close though. The biggest things Undyne appreciates are fighting and passion. Sans barely ever fights or shows initiative, and his lack of of passion is a pretty defining character trait for him. Honestly Undyne might like, hate the fact Sans doesn't take a lot of things seriously. With her having a high sense of honor, so much so she wants a fair fight with a human she knows is much stronger than her, meanwhile Sans fights dirty and uses every cheat to his advantage. And on a smaller scale, they played hockey in complete oppositte ways, with Sans just fucking around with Toriel and helping out Papyrus despite being on opposite teams, and Undyne taking the game deadly seriously.

Sans and Alphys:

There's an implication that these two are buds, but we don't get that many interactions between the two. From what I gather, the two have a pretty good understanding of each other, being able to guess each others' sentences after the Asriel fight, having a mutual high understanding of modern internet humor as shown in the alarm clock app. Also in the Queen Alphys ending, the two seem to be each others' closest friends, forming a mutual support system. Both lost people they care for deeply, both are in over their heads ruling over the underground, but they're helping each other through this.

I like this portrayal of like, how Sans and Alphys would watch anime together. Sand trying to keep up with the show and the lore and Alphys' enthusiasm, but not really letting it show

And also this portrayal of Queen Alphys. Both made it to the surface. They've gone through so much shit together, lost so many people, but they're finally here, looking over a beautiful sunrise. But their reaction is like, so mundane and ordinary. Just wanting to go to Ihop. It shows how like, they're both just some guy. Neither wanted to be the savior of monsterkind. Neither has any grand statement about what this all means. Sans is just some shlubby guardsman who knew too much, and Alphys was just a scientist whose experiments got out of hand.

Oh also they're both scientists. Alphys likely tried to help Sans fix whatever was in his basement and Sans likely knows about the amalgams and helps bring Alphys dogfood for them. Both know each others traumas and backstories more than anyone else

Sans and Asgore:

I think the only time these two really interacted was when Asgore went to Sans' comedy gig and laughed so hard Sans couldn't tell any other jokes for the time he had. Oh also eggs husband

So I guess their friendship could be very joke oriented. Unlike Toriel though, Asgore doesn't seem to have the joke making down, a lot of his attempts being seen as awkward, either because of the joke itself being unintentionally bad, or just the context surrounding it. So I think if they were a duo, Sans would more be a straightman to Asgore being a little oafy in his attempts at comedy or social misunderstandings

In more serious contexts, both seem to know more than most regarding humans. With Asgore there's his ability to destroy the mercy button, implication that he knows about saves and loads, and just the fact he forced 6 humans to quit. And with Sans he also fucks with the UI a lot and knows the underground is in a time loop. I could see a scene where the two talk to each other, putting together what ever fragments of information they have, and just, confiding in a person who knows about this stuff. Sans probably wouldn't be that open to really open up about how depressed he is, but still

(Going into theory territory a little with this last bit, mostly speculating about Sans' past.)

They also both deal with loss, Sans with whatever friends he left behind (lost soul dialogue, photo album in his lab, Gaster maybe) and Asgore with his kids and then Toriel. Sans seems to have gotten over this by True Pacifist, as signified by his covering the photo of his old friends with a picture of the new friends he made and him seeming content in the alarm clock dialogue. However this is after a period where he seems to very much have wanted to go back (lost soul dialogue, mention during his fight, some tweet Toby made), desperately trying to fix the machine in his lab, but failing

Asgore on the other hand has not moved on. He spent however long since Chara's death in a war spurned on by his grief. When you kill him, he talks about how all he wants is to go back to before his kids died. And when Toriel comes back in his life, he very much wants to patch things up with her. In Deltarune he's a clingy ex that really seems to want to get back together with her

So maybe if the two become friends, Sans can give him someone to confide in about losing people (aside from Toriel). Again Sans isn't a very open person so like, this isn't something that would immediately happen, if ever. But it's a thought

Papyrus and Alphys:

Post about how these two are pretty similar in a lot of ways

I believe the only time Papyrus talks about Alphys is when he mentions the colored tile puzzle was created by her. In a phonecall in that room, he mentions that the two are barely acquaintances, but that he'd like to get to know her

They'd probably be able to bond over a mutual love of puzzles, with Alphys helping Papyrus build wild contraptions

Also as seen at the end of the Alphys date, Papyrus would be great at encouraging Alphys to like herself more and to take better care of herself. As someone who's still working on reaching the goal of becoming great, I could see the two forming a, "We can both become great, together!" sort of pair

Undyne and Asgore:

This also isn't that uncommon a pairing but like, fucking stop me from putting it on this list

Their dynamic is very endearing lol, like take this bit from the old qna. Asgore earnestly tries to help Undyne with her weird youtube channel, not really getting this new technology or social media, while Undyne is super enthusiastic about the whole thing. I think like, that'd be pretty emblematic of their relationship. Them getting into wacky misunderstandings because Undyne loves jumping into shit and giving it her all, while Asgore is too earnest for his own good and is a little out of his element on the surface. The 'You don't have to apologize' exchange after the Asriel fight is another good example of that

Oh also I like thinking that their relationship would be pretty similar to that of Zuko and Iroh. With Asgore being Undyne's goofy father figure, who did a lot of terrible shit in his past, but also has a lot of sagely advice and wants to set Undyne on the right path. Though that 'setting her on the right path' arc was already over by the time Frisk fell, as Undyne already learned to like, stop beating up random people lol. So it'd probably be similar to Zuko after the show. That said, I think showing Undyne when she was younger and when she was still kinda troubled could be good au fuel, as would showing a bit more of Asgore being a mentor figure to Undyne

I also wanted to talk about what Asgore's friendship with Alphys or Papyrus would be like but I couldn't think of anything lol

Might make another one of these about the ghosts and dead kids

[kafus]

i did some ridiculous technical BS in pokemon again

NOTE: not only is this post a very very long infodump from yours truly, it is also specifically an infodump involving a lot of pokemon glitches and exploits. even though i don't tamper with my games and everything achieved here can be done on original hardware with no hacking or what-have-you, some people still may consider this Cheating based on their own personal standards of legitimate gameplay. i ask that you please don't try to start arguments with me about pokemon legality and just take it all as an interesting technical infodump about gen 3 pokemon okay thank you <3

SO. i decided that before pokemon bank eventually shuts down one day in the probably-not-so-distant future and makes old gen transfer impossible, i need more ribbon master pokemon (AKA a pokemon with all the ribbons it can possibly receive from its gen of origin to the most recent gen it can transfer to) from gens 3 and 4. i've been meaning to ribbon master a pokemon from gen 3 based on my favorite singer, KAF (you don't need to know anything about kaf for this story whatsoever but you should check her out LMAO) and while musing over what pokemon would suit her best, it came to me.

FARIGIRAF IS JUST KAF'S FURSONA!! the monster teeth hoodie with the eyes. even has the dangly bits. like come on it's perfect. AND girafarig is obviously available in gen 3 so i could RM a kaf girafarig and then evolve her once i got to SV. Cool! Awesome! but here's the problem. I CAN'T SETTLE FOR JUST A NORMAL GIRAFARIG. I HAVE TO GO ALL OUT!!

i started brainstorming my ideal gen 3 kaf girafarig, and came to the following conclusions:

i obviously want the girafarig to be shiny. i mean come on

i want her to be a girl for obvious reasons, and gentle nature to match her personality. just because Armor Tail is better on Farigiraf i also want it to have girafarig's second ability, Early Bird. i'm not concerned with IVs because i think random IVs add flavor and that would add more tedium than i was already dealing with

i want her to be japanese language origin since kaf is a japanese singer (i can nickname her かふ that way too!)

i want the original trainer (OT) name to be PPさん (PP-san) in reference to the person who scouted out kaf's talent in the first place - he goes by Piedpiper online and my friends and i call him PP as a joke sometimes

i want the trainer ID to be 02018 because 2018 is kaf's debut year

since girafarig only spawns in gen 3 in the ruby/sapphire/emerald safari zone, i wanted to hatch a girafarig egg in firered/leafgreen for the kanto origin, which is impossible otherwise. FRLG are also really important games to me, leafgreen being the first pokemon game i ever owned or played, so that's a bonus

now you may be looking at this entire list and being like. What the fuck. how do you intend to shiny hunt girafarig with all of these hyperspecific parameters, especially in FRLG where the everstone passing nature doesn't exist and flame body doesn't even exist to hatch eggs faster. you will be doing that long after bank shuts down. and you're intending on doing this on original hardware too??? WELL. that's where ACE and RNG manipulation comes in babey. i am GOING to attempt to make this comprehensible even if you've never touched ACE or RNG manip in your life, even tangentially, but sorry if this is a bit of a mess it's pretty technical LOL. the rest of this post is going below a cut cause it Goes Places!!

ACE and RNG manipulation explained (kinda)

first off a quick overview of ACE, ACE stands for arbitrary code execution, which is the ability to run your own (arbitrary!) code within the game. this can be set up with a series of elaborate glitches, that break open the gen 3 pokemon games into letting you run your PC box names as code, enabling you to do pretty much anything you want. to be upfront, i'm not an expert on ACE - i understand it in an overarching conceptual sense and am able to follow ACE guides just fine, but i cannot write my own ACE code, which essentially requires you to know some GBA assembly. doesn't really matter for the purpose of this story though.

you can see an example of a tiny snippet of a larger ACE code with the PC box name below. it looks like gibberish but that's because every character used in the name corresponds to a specific internal value, which when all run together, is code!

i need ACE in FRLG because resetting for, or RNG manipulating (more on that in a moment), trainer ID (and secret ID, also more on that later) is pretty much impossible. ACE will allow me to change my TID to 02018 by essentially just telling the game to do so with my PC boxes. this requires me to set up ACE in emerald first since that's the only game with a viable entrypoint, and then use emerald ACE to make glitch pokemon that can activate ACE in FRLG when traded over.

as for RNG manipulation, that's a bit more straightforward, especially if you've ever watched a speedrun of... pretty much anything with random chance in it. games with random chance are not actually fully random because computers can't really be fully random, and in the older pokemon games with unencrypted and less advanced RNG (random number generator) algorithms, this is pretty easy to exploit.

this is a heavy simplification, but whenever you encounter a wild pokemon in RSE or FRLG, the amount of frames that have passed since the game was turned on are compared to a number that was generated upon boot, called the RNG seed. if you've ever played minecraft you can compare this to world seeds - the pokemon RNG seed determines all possible wild encounters in that play session in a similar fashion as minecraft determining the infinite terrain layout. this comparison determines every aspect of an encountered pokemon; its species, nature, IVs, and so on. so, if you were able to time your wild encounter (or any other type of pokemon encounter) down to the 1/60th of a second frame, you can get the game to spit out whatever pokemon you want at you! you just need a bit of typically invisible information first - the RNG seed, and if you're RNGing a shiny, your secret ID aka SID, which is like an invisible second trainer ID generated alongside your TID that is paired up with the TID and compared against any pokemon you encounter to determine if it should be shiny or not. both of these things can be figured out without hacking or tampering with games/save files.

the most common program used for all things RNG manipulation is called pokefinder and you can see an example of it spitting out what shinies are available on hoenn's first route in the first 100000 frames of the game being on with an RNG seed of 0 and my old TID/SID combo below. it's pretty damn cool to me tbh, i love RNG manipulation and i'm way more versed on it/experienced than i am with ACE

TLDR; rng manipulation is essentially a frame perfect, speedrunning-adjacent trick to get the game to roll the RNG in your favor, including for perfect IVs or shininess. for reasons that will become clear later, this is much easier to do in emerald than any other gen 3 game, so i will be using emerald for the RNG manipulation of the girafarig egg

with ALL of that context out of the way, this was the gameplan:

play through a fresh file of japanese firered (i don't own japanese leafgreen, RIP) all the way through the postgame to unlock trading with hoenn with the name PPさん, not worrying about TID for now. the guide i was following did not have a code for changing name with ACE in japanese FRLG specifically, so i figured playing the game again real quick would be a better alternative to trying to teach myself assembly in an afternoon LOL

set up ACE in my new emerald file i completed recently

use ACE in emerald to generate the glitch pokemon needed to run ACE in FRLG and trade them over. finalize the setup process over in FRLG too

look up possible gentle, ability 2, female, and shiny egg frames, and pick one that looks good to RNG manipulate in emerald, noting its PID (an encounter-specific ID number, pretty much)

figure out what SID, when combined with a TID of 02018, will cause that egg frame to be shiny - that way when the egg is traded over and hatched in firered, it will be shiny

do the RNG in emerald, trade over the to-be-shiny egg to firered, and hatch it after changing the TID/SID with ACE appropriately!! bam female, gentle, early bird, shiny, JP origin girafarig with an OT of PPさん and a visible TID of 02018. Pog!!

to execute that gameplan would take me an entire day, though...

step 1: play through firered

ok gonna be honest this is the ONE part of this entire process that i did not play on original hardware. i wanted to get to the Cool Parts of this process so i decided to play through firered on emulator. absolutely terrible picture sorry but i do actually own japanese firered, so i could dump the game legally to my computer to use speedup in mGBA with a little device called the Joey JR which connects the cart to my computer by USB like so

after that it was pretty much a relatively normal playthrough but obviously with emulator speedup. i used solely my starter blastoise to, well, blast through the rest of the game LMAO. after just a couple of hours or so i was right before the elite four, which i completed while in the car after moving the save file back to my cartridge with the same device, since i had to leave the house to go to a doctor appointment. i tried to take pictures of me beating the game but the sun was not doing the photos any favors lol. blastoise ended up being level 76 by the end. was easy with surf and an ice beam TM from the game corner (i just bought the coins)

unfortunately beating the game isn't the only requirement for trading with the hoenn games, so i also had to complete the whole sevii islands postgame quest... which required me to have 60 registered owned entries in the pokedex, which i wasn't really doing while speeding through the game initially, so i had a lot of mons to catch. i was still out of the house at this point (and playing at normal speed lol) so i wasn't really taking pictures, but i did make a stop at the power plant to look for an electabuzz despite it being an inefficient 5% since i needed a spare anyways for my leafgreen file unrelated to this story lmao. took a pic of it since it took a while to show up. anyway soon enough the dex had 60+ entries! i've played FRLG so many times that the encounter locations are memorized in my mind... i did all of this with no googling asdfkasfd

at this point i got home and was able to do the ruby/sapphire postgame quest on emulator with speedup again, so it was pretty easy. moved the save back to cart and i was done with step 1! obviously this didn't actually take me 21 hours of playtime, that was the emulator speedup's fault loool. from here on out i didn't touch any emulators again!

step 2: set up ACE in emerald

ACE time! i've actually set up ACE in an old emerald file before but i wanted to do it again fresh. i was following a guide pretty much to a T so i'm actually going to skip over the details of some of the steps since you can read about those more in depth over at the guide i was using if you want

TLDR; you have to trade for the NPC trade pokemon, DOTS the seedot and PLUSES the plusle, then EV train DOTS a specific way. these EV values cause DOTS to turn into a glitch pokemon egg 0x0611 when corrupted with the pomeg glitch (more on that in a bit), which, when hatched, runs the PC box names as code, aka ACE! why does it work? if you really want to know, there's plenty of stuff online about it, i'm not the best person to ask haha

it's worth noting that volbeat is really annoying to capture in emerald as it's literally only available as a 1% in one patch of grass, so i caught an illumise instead and bred them until a volbeat hatched lol. was much more efficient

also lol "Take good care of DOTS!" sorry i will be corrupting your son into demonspawn that lets me wield godlike control over your universe

after getting the necessary NPC trade pokemon all ready and moving them into a specific pattern in box 2 (i cloned them with the emerald tower cloning glitch) i had to perform the pomeg glitch. this involves using a pomeg berry to decrease a pokemon's health to 0 without causing a whiteout. this is achieved by getting a pokemon with at least 8 HP EVs to 1 HP and then using the pomeg berry on it, decreasing the EVs and taking off a point of health in the process (it's slightly more steps than this but whatever). i decided to use the camerupt i had during my playthrough of the game for this purpose. just took him to fiery path to get poisoned and walked until he was on 1 HP and healed him with an antidote lol

by doing the pomeg glitch and entering a wild battle, the game gets a bit confused since all the pokemon in your party are fainted and just sends out some sort of glitch decamark pokemon. in this situation, after viewing my camerupt's summary in battle and exiting back out of the summary screen, i was able to corrupt the DOTS and PLUSES sitting in my PC by scrolling up above the usual limit of the party menu, which reaches into data used by the first two PC boxes and fucks them up, ending up with, assuming that i EV trained correctly, a glitched egg that is about to hatch in a nest ball named DOTS with pokerus. this will run ACE when hatched! (if you want more info on this corruption pomeg stuff, check out the bulbapedia article for glitzer popping. yes that's what they named it)

step 3: use emerald ACE to set up firered ACE

so once again you can find a lot more detail on this process over at the guide i was using, but the TLDR of the matter was, i needed to put a bunch of codes into my PC box names to generate a few different glitch mons. specifically, i needed a egg that would hatch into a crobat (yes, fully evolved lol) with a singular glitched out move, that when used in battle in firered, would cause ACE to happen similar to how hatching the corrupted DOTS egg causes ACE to happen in emerald. i also needed a specific buggy shiny umbreon and a very strange glitchy egg.

even though this step was mostly a lot of tedious typing on the gen 3 keyboard (+ i had to redo things once because i made a typo at one point in the process LOL) it was so much fun! the game breaks in so many ways that you would just... never see during normal gameplay and it makes for some really good pictures and whatnot

first of all, when you hatch the 0x0611 egg, it hatches into a decamark of varying colors, in the case of the picture below it's almost imperceptible because the whole sprite is just a black circle, blending in with the background (sorry for the quality on this one, it's a screencap of a video clip i took).

additionally, trying to scroll over the hatched decamark in the PC or viewing its summary screen will crash the game, so to get rid of it, it has to be moved to the front of your party in the party menu, and then you go to the PC to release it through the deposit menu. since the cursor just defaults to the first position of the party and you don't have to scroll over to it, it's possible to release it from here.

oh yes and the umbreon/other glitch egg? similarly screwy - actually after generating them, their sprites are glitched out until you reset the game, so they look like this. behold their nonsense summaries:

after i had all i needed to trade to FRLG, i cloned an extra set of them with the emerald tower glitch again just in case i messed something up and got to trading! here's me receiving them on the firered side:

and last but not least, i'm a little obsessed with the way the glitch move looks in FRLG on the hatched crobat, absolute nonsense:

i finalized setting up the FRLG ACE (check out the guide i linked earlier for more info) and put everything into their proper positions, but before i could actually execute any code... i needed to know what SID i was going for!

step 4 + 5: look up potential egg frames in emerald and find an SID

soo now for looking at potential girafarig eggs. instead of using the program pokefinder which i mentioned earlier, i used a program called pokenav egg rng tool, which is exactly what it sounds like, a tool specialized for rng manipulating eggs with the pokenav in emerald. using it, i was quickly able to generate a whole list of gentle, female, ability 2 (early bird) eggs, and i picked one that was around 1300 frames in since that made for quick resetting attempts, but not so quick that i could barely make my inputs in time. the one i picked was frame 1381. with a TID of 02018, the PID D2C5EF55 would be shiny with an SID of 14962, so i noted that for later in firered. (i figured this out using an old program called RNG Reporter which is what i'm familiar with but i don't recommend using lmao. it's the "Pandora's Box" feature of that software though if you happen to look it up)

i won't make an entire guide on how to do emerald egg RNG here because it's a lot of steps, but i might at some point because the most up to date method isn't super well documented. anyways, here's a very paraphrased version of the process (this is also assuming that you aren't dealing with "redraws", which i wasn't... like i said very paraphrased):

get a pokemon with the ability lightningrod in the front of your party (i used electrike) to make pokenav calls happen more frequently, and a pokemon with flame body or magma armor (i used slugma) to make eggs hatch faster

get a male and a female of the pokemon you want to hatch, in my case girafarig. if you were RNGing IVs, the parent's IVs would be relevant, but i am not RNGing IVs so i didn't care and just caught the first girafarig i could in the safari zone

an egg is attempted to be generated every 255 steps after the parents are deposited in the daycare together, so by timing the usage of a max repel in such a way, it's easy to save the game exactly 10 steps before an egg is generated. do this

using a timer such as eontimer, soft reset and try to take that last 10th step on your target frame. this will also trigger a pokenav call (or lack thereof) and by looking for the phone call you got in the call column of the egg rng tool and whether or not an egg generated at the daycare, you can tell what frame you hit. didn't hit your target? just soft reset and try again, calibrating the timer for your own human error. this can take a while since the timing is precise to 1/60th of a second

once you hit your target frame, woohoo you did it just take the egg and hatch it! if you're RNGing IVs you would actually save before taking the egg and then RNG the IVs separately but that's a whole different thing i'm not explaining here since i wasn't RNGing IVs

i've avoided mentioning it this entire time till now, but emerald is particularly easy to do rng manipulation in because due to a programming error, the rng seed is always 0 - all encounters are predictable and you don't have to dedicate a frame perfect input to getting the right seed, making emerald rng a matter of one frame perfect input instead of two (there ARE ways to get emerald to generate a proper rng seed but that's unrelated here). additionally, its pokenav system means you can see if you got the right egg BEFORE taking it and hatching it... doing egg RNG in any other gen 3 game is basically a death sentence due to multiple untelegraphed frame perfect inputs that have to be executed in a row, plus really long wait times due to hatching eggs on a slower bike without flame body. there's a reason i was not doing this on four island in frlg.

but yeah now i knew what egg frame i was going for and was all prepared to do the RNG, so now it was onto actually executing it all:

step 6: getting kaf girafarig babey!!

before doing the RNG manipulation in emerald, i needed to change my SID and TID in firered finally! this required me to run two different codes, one for SID and one for TID. it was actually pretty painless since the code is nearly identical for both, you just swap out the values of each ID and one character changes in one box name to decide whether you're changing TID or SID. you can find the list of codes i was referencing here.

i was saving my one allotted video clip in this post for changing the TID with the glitched crobat move though because LMAO

^ shoutout to my qpp @/spikyearr for this one i fucking chokedSKFDDSFK

anyway, after doing that i went through the process of the egg rng in emerald (unfortunately no pictures because it's kind of hard to take pics mid-rng) and actually saved before taking the egg so that i'd be able to soft reset after hatching it - i just needed to check to make sure it was gentle and everything, and then i could soft reset, take the egg again, bike around to decrease the egg cycles in emerald since hatching in firered is super slow, and then trade it off before hatching it to go be hatched in firered. i knew it wouldn't be shiny in emerald, so i wasn't concerned with that. it only took 40 or so minutes of attempts before i got her!

and then AT LAST after spending my ENTIRE DAY ON THIS SHIT (like 10x the amount of time on the ACE stuff for the TID instead of the actual RNG itself LOOOL) i just had to trade the egg to firered and hatch it and i was golden!!!!! AAAGH here she is next to my kaf plushies!!!

also a picture of her summary screen after being traded to my english leafgreen!! i am assuming this will be easier to read for most of the people reading this post LOL

THAT'S IT. POST OVER THIS WAS SO LONG. IF YOU MADE IT THROUGH MY RAMBLING GOOD JOB. I HIT THE PHOTO LIMIT HELP ME

anyways yeah i'm gonna be ribbon mastering her and idk i might post about the process as i go. not immediately though i have a platinum playthrough to finish teehee. also if any of this was interesting to you i highly recommend trying out RNG manipulation, it's a really fun way to play pokemon games! gen 5, BW specifically and not their sequels, is REALLY beginner friendly for RNG manipulation as the timing is a lot less precise. check it out, there's plenty of guides online!!

[ant1quarian]

*bap* if I drag a chair in here will you tell me a story? (Feed me information on the AU most beloved to yourself currently)

Cracks fingers /silly

Hell yeah I can.

Currently? It's Collectortale!

( Beware: Big rant )

Also! CW: Horror does have an eating disorder

Collectortale is more of a utmv at this point, as it's beginning to include all of the Sanses I can think of lmao.

It originated from a thought way back when- likely a solid year ago now, which I'm beginning to develop further currently.

The "Main Sans" of the Universe is named Dev, short for "The Devil"- a stage name that was given to him. He runs a well-known casino in a horrible debt-filled society where those that are desperate enough crawl over to bet what little they own in order for a big reward.

But as life seems to work: Big rewards also have big costs.

Collectortale Dust is a well-known gambler himself, working with but not under Dev. He's most commonly found in the corner of the room, keeping an eye out for any people who think they're slick enough to get away with cheating. The cost of being caught is, almost always, your life.

He's also available to gamble with- but committing to a game with him is tossing your SOUL on the table.

All around, he's actually quite a chill guy. Pretty aloof and closer to nonverbal, but pretty alright to just hang out with- assuming he allows you to be around him without just leaving, and you're not in Dev's Casino.

Dev and Dust have a... sort of like cat-and-owner-coded relationship? Dust is the cat- aloof, quiet, mischievous, prone to getting LV highs suddenly and randomly which causes bouts of extreme violence- and Dev is the owner- laid-back, amused, and willing to deal with Dust's shenanigans for the moments of peace where they vibe together in Dev's library.

Collectortale Killer is a gremlin by almost every sense of the word. He's a little shit, incredibly mischievous, but also insanely loyal and devoted to those he cares about. Similar to a Husky in a way, considering just how stubborn he can get as well. His role in the Casino is, quite literally, Dev's underling. Right-hand-man, some would refer to him as.

He met Dev by not being able to meet demand and- like so many before- placed on his target list. When Dev attacked Killer, however, he froze at the sound of Killer weakly chuckling and asking Dev to take care of his cats when he was gone. Dev slowly blinked at the feline winding around his legs before sighing, deciding to essentially enter Killer into a SOUL-contract. So Killer is obligated, by his SOUL, to do whatever Dev asks him to.

... Not that he usually asks much.

Despite all of his amusing qualities, Killer also struggles with hypervigilance. This often causes bouts of extreme exhaustion where Dev finds him half-slumped over the counter, eyelight blurry and flickering in his visible socket. It's also common for Killer to get too distracted by the thrill of the chase, despite being highly intelligent and strategic.

They have a retriever-and-owner partnership, where Killer is thoughtlessly loyal, and Dev forces the shit to take time off and rest, as well as "taking him for walks" (on killing sprees) when he sees fit.

Collectortale Horror is the casino bouncer... and funnily enough, runs a volunteer service to the side which feeds those that can't afford to feed themselves, as well as helping to get them back on their feet in this money-run society. It's also common for him to take in pets- which Dev finds in his room more often than not.

Horror struggles with formulating his speech (though is still incredibly quick-minded and intelligent)- as well as having issues with certain tasks and also has an eating disorder called "Bulimia nervosa" (which, in its incredibly and slightly-not-accurate simplified version, is "Binge Eating and ridding yourself of the discomfort afterwards."). Dev is... surprisingly attentive to Horror's needs, helping where he can- even though he has to read up on a lot of these things in order to be able to.

Their relationship is... actually pretty cozy. Sure it has a lot of mishaps and both struggling to learn about each other, but it works out eventually. They've got a pretty strong bond, now.

Thank you for listening to this rant lmao! 'Tis very muchly appreciated- and also thank you for giving me the opportunity.

If you want to know about any other Sans, feel free to ask! :D

[xx-slug-xx]

F/O List and Info

Yeah, I figured I would go ahead and make an actual organized F/O list. It comes in handy both for me and other people (I like lists and organizing mostly but go wild lmao).  Everything is under the cut!

General Info

I am cool with sharing all my F/Os, no exception! If sharing makes you uncomfortable, then feel free to block or ignore me if need be :D do what you must to be comfy on the internet!

I don’t treat any of my F/Os like real people or real relationships. I don’t really see anything as cheating, and I can and will date real people while dating these fictional characters. Do I still love and value my F/Os though? Absolutely! I selfship to cope and to fulfill needs that irl partners can’t fulfill for me since I’m aegosexual and sex repulsed with irl sex! 

I always have an S/I, I never use my actual self for these guys. If you want to ask about my S/I for individual sources, please do! I love sharing! And if you have questions about any of my F/Os, then that is also very cool!

They are formatted as “Name (Source)” and they are alphabetized by name, not source. Also, yes, I use quadrants for these fuckers because it makes sense to me being aspec and autistic. I am cringe, but I am free. Quadrant symbols are arranged based on which I feel most strongly for that F/O, but multiple quadrants apply for most of them since I vacillate between feelings often! I age up any “minor characters" if they aren't depicted as adults in canon due to personal preference! I think of it like an AU when that happens tbh! Take a drink every time you see any non-human characters, because I absolutely have a preference for non-humans due to my own non-human-ness!

This list is subject to change based on who I currently like and which F/Os I remember I have lmao

💚 Currently Obsessing Over 💚

Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls) <3 <3<

Yes Man (Fallout: New Vegas) <3 <>

🩷 Married To 🩷

Godzilla (do I have to say it?) <3

Sans (Undertale/Detarune) <3

Yes Man (Fallout: New Vegas) <3 <>

❤️ Dating (Romantic F/Os) ❤️

AM (IHNMAIMS) <3< <3

Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls) <3 <3<

Caliborn (Homestuck) <3< <3 c3<

Edgar (Electric Dreams) <3

Equius Zahhak (Homestuck) <3

Gamzee Makara (Homestuck) <3 

Hearts Boxcars (Homestuck) <3

Karkat Vantas (Homestuck) <3

Mammon (Helluva Boss) <3< <3 c3<

Wink (Wimp Witch) <3< <3

🖤 FWB (They are hot, I think about them a lot) 🖤

Adam (Hazbin Hotel) <3<

Bob Velseb (Spooky Month) <3< <3

Bro Strider (Homestuck) <3<

Claptrap (Boarderlands 2) <3< <> <3

Ult Dirk (Homestuck) <3<

Doctor 0 (Fallout: New Vegas) <3 <3< <>

Eda Clawtorn (The Owl House) <3 <>

Funtime Freddy (FNAF: Sister Location) <3< <3

General Grievous (Star Wars) <3< <3

Guzma (Pokemon: Sun and Moon) <3<

Lord English (Homestuck) <3<

Medic (TF2) <3< <3

Montgomery Gator (FNAF Security Breach) <3< <3

Queen Chrysalis (MLP) <3 <>

Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty) <3< <3

Springtrap/William Afton (FNAF) <3<

Stanford Pines (Gravity Falls) <3 <> <3<

Stanley Pines (Gravity Falls) <> <3

Ultron (MCU) <3<

Vision (MCU) <3

Vriska Serket (Homestuck) <> c8<

Wheatly (Portal 2) <3< <3 

💛 Queer Platonic 💛

Calliope (Homestuck) <> c3<

Clubs Deuce (Homestuck) <>

Doctor Mobius (Fallout: New Vegas) <>

ED-E (Fallout: New Vegas) <>

Eridan Ampora (Homestuck) <> c3<

Jade Harley (Homestuck) <>

Kinger (Digital Circus) <>

Pyro (TF2) <>

Roxy Lalonde (Homestuck) <> 

Sundrop (FNAF: Security Breach) <>

Ulysses (Fallout: New Vegas) c8< <3< <>

[cinamun]

I love geeking out over the sims too lol! In recent months I have changed how I play with money in the sims because I used to be quick to cheat in whatever they needed. Now I'm conscious of even the CC I use for my sims. My sims who aren't super rich tend to use more basic cc or just in game CAS and don't have super decorated spaces. It has just added some fun realism to my game and makes me think while dressing/decorating a sims space so much more. (I wish I could "motherlode" irl tho lol)

We're similar in that throughout my main save, there's definitely a seperation of appearance in living arrangements for the wealthier ones. Its fun to play with money in this game because while we still have to pay bills that are really high and get hit with unexpected trips to the vet, we can still just "kaching" and be straight again LMAO

I only use money cheats now for story purposes. For example, when Mercy moved to San Sequoia she didn't have a ton of money but I had to put an expensive ass car on the lot when Bishop showed up the first time and she couldn't afford that shit LMFAO so I hit up kaching a few times until I could get it then immediately sold it.

When I'm just playing the game in other saves I rarely use money cheats.

[letmeoutofthebasementt]

san is becoming the new jungkook for ateez like out of all members hes most requested and asked about or mentioned, some ppl for jk really do not want jk to be loyal to his fs and its just quite sad really like they were asking other blogs if jk would ever cheat and if he would ever let his eyes wander to other women or if he wouldnt basically be a decent partner for his fs.

it just pathetic that ppl even think that lowly of some of these idols mainly it sounds lkke jealousy to me as well bc their fs already going to be known before they even get shoved into the spotlight. honestly if i were jks fs i would soak up every minute of privacy i could bc i really think the internet going to be chaotic soon as they announce they dating or married (bts that is) for a lot of idols i already expect them to be in relationship if some arent interested or not its not our business really

i think for mingi and even yoongi tho others have said those two arent interested in marraige or dont care for that and honestly its lowkey relatable but the way these idols dont really get much freedom tho like come on is it rlly that big of a deal jf say johnny and haechan were hooking up with those girlies in japan? rofl at least they getting some

EXACTLY. And it’s also like, how is that any of your business exactly? Like if JK cheats, he cheats and you don’t support that behavior. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t.

And if Johnny and Haechan are getting laid that doesn’t impact you at all. Like you said, at least they’re getting some lmao. Do you expect these idols to live this pure, untouched lifestyle?

People forget they’re all very young with the world at their feet and people worshiping them. And THEN they hit their early twenties were they’re absolutely horn dogs. They’re:

Men in their early twenties

On top of the world

Have women and men alike flocking after them

Have people begging for even one night with them

Not allowed to date (So why the hell WOULDNT they have flings instead of dating)

And just so much more.

It’d be odd if they WERENT getting laid, honestly. Like celebs internationally are constantly hooking up with SOMEONE. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was even a Korean version of the Japanese F squads.

But the thing is, that’s just none of our business. Why should I care that Luther of 4seconds is getting play? Again, none of my business.

[euphorial-docx]

my regulus’s ranked in order of most to least problematic because it’s funny

1. blood and water regulus

he was a part of a murderous cult, and although he left and would get some sympathy points online for it, he is still an active follower of the cult’s religion.

my boy has also killed countless innocent people. which is one of the worst things a person can do. i don’t think there’s any coming back from that.

2. temps sans fin regulus

he was going to be first, but i thought murder might be a worse offense so temps sans fin regulus is now second.

where do i even begin… he’s been sleeping with a married man for multiple years, is friends with said man’s wife, (spoiler for lmpdt!) he cheated on his girlfriend with said married man, and he also does cocaine sometimes which isn’t really that bad but twitter is weird.

he’s also keeping in contact with problematic family members, so twitter would definitely pull a sydney sweeney “cancellation” on him for that lmao.

3. all over everywhere regulus

even though he’s going through a lot and trying his best, twitter would have no mercy. he does hard drugs, he steals, he lies, he gaslights people, he physically fights people, threatens to kill people, (spoilers) he gets arrested a few times for loitering and drug possession and aggravated assault among other things… yeah.

he’s only so far down on this list because he tries to be better. he’s getting help i promise. he’s just going through it right now.

4. ogni parte e viva regulus

he’s tame compared to the regulus’s above, but i think he’d still get cancelled lmao. the worst thing he’s done i think is just be a little inconsiderate to the girls he hooks up with. he’s not just a whore, but he’s kind of an asshole about it. i love him but it’s true.

opev reg is also pretty pretentious… if he isn’t cancelled then twitter would just be annoyed with him.

5. nocturne regulus

i really do not think nocturne regulus would get cancelled. he truly minds his business.

maybe he’d get a bit of the sydney sweeney “cancellation” treatment, but idk. it seems far fetched. nocturne reg is definitely the most well-adjusted version of regulus i have ever written.

[citylighten]

sims tag game! ☆

tagged by: snatched from @crsentfairy but I swear I feel like I was tagged by @rebouks too 

1.) What’s your favourite sims death? When you have a pool on your sim’s property no matter the season they go to lounge there and freeze to death because of their own stupidity. 😭

2.) Alpha CC or Maxis Match? I’m a alpha girl, but I really like both styles! IDK when you get down to it, they both reflect a ‘art style’ to me. Like have you tried to make a MM sim alpha or a alpha sim MM? There’s work involved in that to make it look right!

3.) Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? Honestly it depends lmao I make my sims high on the weight scale, even the skinny sims, so their bodies look natural. There’s been times where I’ve had to slightly tweak their hips or stomach width so a cc top doesn’t look strange and bulky. 😑😑 But when I play the game everyone is bound to gain weight and I don’t take certain characters to the gym as much as I should. 😂😂

4.) Do you use move objects?  Uh yeah.

5.) Favorite mod?  Before High School Days was a thing, I really loved the plumfruit mod by Arnie. 😍 There was also a hair styling mod I downloaded that’s pretty fun and effective for doing quick townie makeovers. Beyond that as a storyteller I owe my life to MC Command Center and TOOL annnd wickedwhims for more intimate scenes.  

6.) First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? I literally don’t remember, but it was probably city living because I had the first version of Sal and Eve living in San Myshuno.

7.) Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing?  a-LIVE. 8.) Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?  I love all of my sims!!

But even with that said it took me like, two days to get Pietro’s face and nose right. I hunted for certain facial details for him!! So I’m proud of him right now.  9.) Have you made a simself? I literally do nothing with my simself but she does indeed exist (images were taken long before Sink or Swim)

10.) What sim traits do you give yourself? I don’t even remember. That’s how rarely I am on her. 😂

11.) Which is your favorite EA hair color? Dark Brown probably

12.) Favorite EA hair? The one with the -- you know -- jk I really do enjoy the hairs EA has been whipping out lately even though I don’t use them. 

13.) Favorite life stage?  Gameplay wise I love playing as kids and teens, coming up with all sorts of Elementary and High School drama 😂😂 I love playing with big family dynamics in general. it’s crazy because I don’t feature any kids or teens in my stories but one day!! one day!!  

14.) Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? I have moments where I just play the game to play it! But I do a lot of building and storytelling.

15.) Are you a CC creator? I can do recolors 💅🏾

16.) Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad?  i for sure don’t have a squad, but I do feel like I have friends here!

17.) What’s your favorite game?  gta iv, gta v, bioshock 1 & 2, the mafia game series, the sims, dreamlight valley, i’ve been playing It Takes Two with a friend and I really love that game also! 

18.) Do you have any sims merch?  I didn’t even know EA was out here selling merch.

19.) Do you have a YouTube for sims?  nah

20.) How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? a lot! i largely got better at designing faces

2021

2022

21.) What’s your Origin ID? that’s personal!

22.) Who’s your favorite CC creator?

i love (and i am inspired by) a lotttt of builders

@alexisarielgaming 

@beansbuilds​ 

@sierrathesimmer​​

23.) How long have you had a simblr? probably a good year at this point?

24.) How do you edit your pictures? photopea!

25.) What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? seasons, pets, city living even though i never do anything with it, my wedding stories for tartosa lmao 

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? i own all of the packs that i want, but i would love more foreign based worlds and a music-focused pack where sims can play the drums and stuff  

tagging: this blog encourages theft!

[wizardesquelesbian]

I recently finished The Dark Side quartet by Kristy Cunning (yes I binged all 4 in the middle of finals week. yes I finished them in 24 hours. yes it was an emotional journey) and while I can’t say I was the biggest fan of the series itself,  I want to get into! Ramble ahead ~

Also, spoilers for all four books of The Dark Side by Kristy Cunning!! No holds barred!! You have been warned!!!!!! I think there were elements of the dynamics and relationships between the five that were particularly interesting - I like that, ultimately, the ghost-state was something Paca had done to herself in order to save the world, a cause much bigger than herself and one that she ultimately gave up almost everything to complete! I loved our boy Lamar and how he actually ended up sticking around for a little while (even if it was largely to fulfill the stereotypical gay best friend role), and there were glimpses of the broader relationships between our non-romantic grouping that I really enjoyed, such as the interplay between Paca and her family or even just the family amongst themselves sans-Paca. I also loved certain scenes with her partners and her, specifically the ones where they realized that despite their antagonistic tendencies, they were at least becoming very fond of her. The partners learning to decenter their established dynamic to strive for a new balance between the five of them was fun, and I really loved getting their POVs later in the final book!! I also liked the vibe of the world - it was very contemporary hellish fantasy, and tbh I have never read a four horseman retelling before and I know I would definitely read one again because a lot of the vibes here were fun BUT I had gripes with most of the other elements of the series. Sure, I can deal with and enjoy a bully romance (or at least a dynamic similar to one), but I wish Paca had been given the opportunity to develop as a character outside of her boys a little more. There are glimpses of her that I very much enjoyed - her predilection for ridiculous outfits, her brash confidence, her ability to take life broadly in stride, and her later commitment to “leveling up” all had me rooting for her! I tend to read romance novels largely for the lady leads and Paca is the main reason I finished the series at all - I was just so fond of her by the end there! I’m a sucker for an OP FL and she really hit the nail on the head there - it was so much fun to see her grow into herself and truly take up the mantle she left for herself, I just wish we had been given more time with her The second we began to see her blossom in Hell (when I feel she is, characterization-wise, at her strongest) she (again spoilers) dies!! like, full stop!! some of you might argue that she just loses her memory, that some form of her dies but she’s not really dead but like. okay. the Paca we see in the epilogue of the series is not the one I came to enjoy over the series, much like how our Paca was different from the Paca who came before her. Especially since her partners all remember her as she was, it just felt so upsetting. I finished the series and felt cheated a bit lmao

And I would like to clarify, I have been known to enjoy dark and dark-adjacent romances! I am a horror + romance fan and I have read some intense stuff in my time not only on KU but in fan spaces as well. I mention this because I have seen people rank this as a relatively darker romance, and while I don’t know how technically accurate that label is, I don’t want it to be assumed that I just didn’t like this novel because I don’t “get” darker romances or even just romances with darker themes. I wouldn’t be writing this and I certainly wouldn’t have read all four books if I wasn’t having some sort of fun or if I was genuinely hating reading them, and this is no hate to any Dark Side stans, this just wasn’t for me I don’t think If anyone has any recs that are similar vibe-wise, with maybe some elements of fated romance, OP FLs, or even just funky four horseman retellings (is that an established subgenre??) please throw them my way! even if this series wasn’t my cup of tea precisely, I am interested in taking a look at other similar books because I really did have a good time even if my ultimate opinion wasn’t overwhelmingly positive.

[vacantgodling]

❄, 🔥, 🌈, and ☀️ for the ask game !!!

thank you henrike i hope ur doing well 💛

☀️ Sun - What's your favorite part of your WIP?

ough since i’m writing paramour ig i’ll answer for that wip and it’s basically just the actual lengthy overly flowery and descriptive prose has actually been so much fun for me. i should write all my wips like this (i can’t bc it doesn’t fit the vibe of every story so i won’t but ough i love it)

❄️ Snow - Who is your coldest / most stoic character and how do they express themselves (if at all)?

i very much enjoy making stoic characters so i do have several of different varieties. the MOST stoic characters would probably be

jenna magboo (jenna the reaper): because she has flat affect and she has no intonation in her voice whatsoever (until yehna partially possesses her). she usually expresses herself through her actions and she’s very physically affectionate with people she likes. her and carlos hold hands and cuddle quite often and she tends to cling onto people’s clothing as a means of showing care.

rosmarin “red” (red death & the oracle’s favor): our lovely mc who has severe trauma and thus has an extremely difficult time expressing her emotions. she doesn’t tend to show her feelings because showing emotions makes her have physical panic attacks. she does grow a bit better at expressing them through getting closer to hel but she’ll always probably be awkward.

kalifia fandel (tcol): she doesn’t express emotions mostly because being [redacted] she is not familiar with the range of emotions that terraneans feel or can express. she comes across as cold and heartless but she’s honestly very, very neutral about most things. the only thing she expresses any emotion towards for a long time is flowers. she likes them and presses them in notebooks. but other than that she has no interest in being palatable to others because that would impede her mission regardless.

tomb (the graves we dug): similarly to kalifia, tomb is a man bound by duty. being a bounty hunter, attachments get you killed or the other party killed and it’s better to simply detach yourself from all things. he thinks graves and dove are in their predicament because they both care too much. this being said, he isn’t completely cut off from his emotions. he’s just very good at repression and restraint. in another life (his youth) he used to be very expressive and still could be if he chose to. so it’s less that he can’t express care or himself, he just doesn’t.

🔥 Wildfire - Who is your most emotional character and why?

oh god i have a Lot of emotional characters but let’s see if i can narrow it down to my beacons of emotional range:

marco azarola etxebarria (vdtrt): he just has a zest and zeal and love of life, literal ray of sunshine who can draw virtually anyone into his orbit. probably the biggest extrovert of all the vlad protection squad (runner ups being awilda and darren respectively). he’s one of those who doesn’t let his circumstances damper his vibe. +weed helps LMAO.

piper fairwind & san dearborn (tcol): yeah these two but in opposite directions. piper is similar to marco except it’s somewhat more internal. she feels everything intensely as she’s only had herself to rely on for much of her life and in turn she had to become her own advocate, her own cheerleader, her own parent etc. it’s an attitude born out of necessity perhaps. for san it’s the opposite because she was constantly spurned and pushed to the side so she had to fight for what little respect she could get. because of that they tend to run hot tempered and take things that may just be jokes too seriously;;; especially when either of them are with each other emotions are WILD and all over. i just know someone out there is going to ship them and lemme just say, i understand.

thei (god eater): it’s a bit of a cheat to put him here but it’s true. being the last god eater, thei has access to the entire combined consciousness of the singularity within him; so thats hundreds of thousands of emotional ranges potentially at any given moment. he’s kind of like an extreme empath LMAO. he actually tends to be more stoic to try and regulate these intense emotions, however when they get the better of him and he cries, his emotions literally can destroy the entire world basically. it’s why it’s a good thing he has taj to help him bc tbh he was barely holding on before taj came into his life.

🌈 Rainbow - What do you think makes your story unique / stand out?

round this out with paramour again but tbh i feel like the entire premise and the style i’m going for is sort of a slight modernization of types of gothic adjacent stories we haven’t really seen in books the past some odd years. also the fact that it’s got an all black cast for the subject matter and themes is definitely different!

[the7thcrow]

hi corynn! how about 2, 9, 17, and 40 for the fanfic writers ask game?

so this has been sitting in my inbox for literal weeks and i have just not been able to find the time to answer it. so sorry bri. 🩵but i’m here now! let’s go~

2: talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

honestly this doesn’t happen TOO often to me bc i’m such an outliner, but the one plot-point that comes to mind is how in natgig san wasn’t originally going to have feelings for seonghwa right off the bat. but then i started writing and it just fit. it required some re-outlining, but not that much, because as silly as it sounds i think the characters i’d created were really meant to love eachother. it took a little shifting of tone for their future scenes, but that’s about all.

there’s also been a couple of times that certain scenes go a bit different than i expect them to, but nothing drastic. i try to stick to my outline, especially for elaborate stories like natgig that require a lot of foreshadowing and build-up.

9: in an ideal world where you’re already super successful and published, would you want to see a tv or movie adaptation of your work? why or why not?

i think it really depends on what kind of work of mine were to get an adaption. if we’re talking natgig, i absoluetly think it should be a tv show. there’s far too much content in there for it to be limited to two hours. plus there will be 15 chapters, all very long, that i think could each be its own 45 minute episode.

however, other works i have in the holster (such as the contemporary-style romance i’ll likely be working on next) i think would work better as a movie. no sense dragging it out for a whole mini-series like certain book-to-tv show adaptions have done.

but realistically, if any work i write ever gets made into a movie or tv show or literally anything i think i’d just die of happiness LMAO. so it doesn’t rlly matter.

17: what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

omg i have no idea. i don’t think my writing is extremely “quotable” per say. i think i’ve written quite a few lines that pack a real punch, but it’s more about their impact within the story itself.

so i think i’ll just cheat this question and say my favourite overall chapter/story i’ve written is part 07 of natgig. there was so much in there that i’m proud of. and while i often am too critical to reread any works older than a month or two back, i don’t have any problem with that one. i think it’s some of my best work.

40: best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

anything and everything @sorikkung has ever sent me LMAO. while i absolutely love receiving compliments and they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, my favourite feedback is when people just ramble about the story and what they think of the characters/plot/setting etc. it gives me so much insight into what people are thinking and what’s leaving an impact. and nobody gives me better insight into that than rascal🫶🫶

send me an ask for fanfic writers!

[madebycoffee]

Timothy "Mothman" Charteris for @slothseasims Love Is Blind

bONUS submission :3

all info under da cut~

Age: 31 Gender: Manz Location: Oasis Springs (temporarily) Sexuality: Straight Occupation: Freelance Artist Traits: Bro, Creative, Clumsy

Basic Bio: Moth was raised by his maternal grandmother Lily (second photo) when his mother decided she wasn't cut out for kids. He's only had a few awkward lunches with his mom as an adult- and plain considers Lily his only parent. (And ye he calls her Lily. She is the only one allowed to call him Timothy lol) He adopted the nickname Moth/Mothman/Mothball any variation basically in middle school- and boy howdy it's stuck.

In high school he fell in with a group of close friends- all of them being tattoo artists. Moth offered up his skin to be a practice canvas, and that's where all his tattoos come from. He works as a freelance artist- mainly graphic design. Since he can do that anywhere he's spent the last several years traveling- from Sulani, Tartosa, San Myshuno, Mt. Komorebi, and more! He's gotten a tattoo in each place he's visited as a little souvenir. However his grandma Lily has been on his case recently that 1. she'd like to see him more often and 2. she'd like to see him settle down with someone. So he's staying close to her retirement home in Oasis Springs.

Relationships: Had a steady girlfriend all through high school but upon graduating they realized that they couldn't stand each other (except in the bedroom lmao). Since then Moth hasn't really had a steady thing. Though a few girls thought they did, and were quite upset to learn he was seeing others.

Reason For Going on Love is Blind: Ever since Lily said she wanted to see him settle down he's been thinking about the future and what he wants. He came to the conclusion that all the traveling he likes to do would be a lot better if he had someone to share it with. So he's ready to jump right in to something serious!

Dealbreakers: People who have no interest in seeing the world. Nosy people. Clingy types. He does need to be able to have his space. If they don't want kids. Being called Timothy/Timmy/Tim.

Things People Consider Dealbreakers about him: His tattoos. That he's cheated in the past.

Private DL if chosen :3