#no longer human inside

[happy-yellow-flower-children]

okay, just talking. just talking

need to write it down

she sat on the floor of the hallway. right by her shared room. other people sat near their's as well, some in the doorway of the room however. they scratched at their skin, feeling it come off, layer by layer. ripped into tiny bits. yelling came into her ears. it wanted to plug them, it couldn't. "you girls make my life miserable, you are all so damn selfish, worthless, pathetic!" ms. [CENSORED] yelled, a [CENSORED] hid his face, he didn't like that. she stared off, [censored] was angry, someone had hid paintbrushes in their room. it scratched at the skin more, fading away from the hallway. she was still there, somewhat, but they were floating, the pain and yelling staying on the ground. "SHUT UP! YOU GIRLS HAVE NO RIGHT TO EVEN SPEAK! DISOBEYING ME CONSTANTLY!" ms. [CENSORED] screamed. it flinched. the burn on their hand started screeching at her, it covered it's hand, hiding it from prying adult eyes. "I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU! I'M A LEADER, NOT A FOLLOWER! NOBODY SHOULD LISTEN TO YOU!" [CENSORED] roared, her face was infuriated. they grimaced, [CENSORED] made it worse, it noticed tears. she had started crying? she didn't remember that, she just felt fuzzy. the yelling got louder, they scratched more, their knuckles were now bleeding. "are you okay?" a person whispered from across the hall. it stared. not moving her lips. to afraid. too afraid. she wasn't even 14 yet. it was once a child. could they be called a child now? she wondered that night, covered in a blanket. they weren't human, humans were filthy and selfish. it wasn't like that, it was different than humans. it thought, dehumanizing itself was easier. accepting this cruel reality was hard. she couldn't hurt if she couldn't feel the emotion. she let go. it became apathetic. nobody truly did matter. just another nuisance. they wanted to go home. they cared, no they didn't. it would stay until allowed to leave. humans were in charge. not her. sleepyness was normal as she just kept floating away. it decided soon after, they were not human. she decided after that she keep on a lovely facade, become the peace in the room. all while it raged inside of the husk.

[gurggggleburgle]

the reason why Luo Binghe and Shen Yuan can't attic wife each other in their house and never leave is that they don't have internet or anything else around to help keep them moving. I think we chalk too much of Shen Qingqiu being a super productive person post transmigration often too much to reading into things and treating his unreliable narration as fact.

But like, what is he supposed to do all if not actually go outside and talk to people and get a job. Luo Binghe needs to do things other than be a housewife for his own sanity so he doesn't cabin fever. He can't live focusing his day around a singular person being in the room its not healthy and would drive him insane. These are not overly productive constantly doing things people. These are people doing things to make sure they aren't malaise slugs feeling nothing in their day to day drudgery.

This is just what a healthy post/pre internet mental state kinda looks like.

[themindofmine]

I wonder if I have actually been happy. People have told me, really more times than I can remember, ever since I was a small boy, how lucky I was, but I have always felt as if I were suffering in hell. It has seemed to me in fact that those who called me lucky were incomparably more fortunate than I.

-No Longer Human, Osamu Dazai

[merakiui]

it’s been some time, but i’m thinking about the apocalypse au again……. i’ve written about the gender inequality and the bride/husband selections and expectations shouldered in order to restore the population! but i also need to write more about the overblot virus itself and what it does to those who are infected. >:) because a certain few (compound leaders) may just be infected hehehe. <3

[fisheito]

i wonder if yakumos grandparents gave him so much soup bc it's something that can safely be swallowed whole by a small child who doesn't have the full chewing instinct...... don't have to break out the crowbar to wrench the entire chicken out of your babys mouth when you have liquefied the chicken

Gasp... brilliant... not only is soup an expedited form of warm... it is also (generally) choke free

[jackhammerhim]

Sad to say that I WAS a crazy ex girlfriend. But being crazy isn't what made me a crazy ex girlfriend. Being a GIRLFRIEND made me a crazy ex girlfriend.

[blenselche]

does finn/fern count as selfcest? I never really thought it did tbh.

I'm gonna hit you with a big fat "it depends" (on which episode).

Pre Do No Harm? Yeah, I think it counts. Fern still (tentatively) believes himself to be Finn, reinforced by Finn's "sure we are."

Post Do No Harm? shaky "no" because Fern is out finding himself until he moves back in to crash on the roof, but he is still conflicted.

Post Three Buckets? def not but people feel weird about it because of the "almost like real brothers" line, discarding the follow up dialogue:

Finn does this with anyone that looks around his age tho (in the comics he does it to Gata-- his own adopted sister ffs, nothing stops this dude), it's an endearing feature of his character but we just haven't had another guy for him to be a clingy weirdo towards-- so it's easy to brush off as an awkward throw away line to play up Fern's detachment/malice in his silence.

Post Come Along With Me? we're back to selfcest because the writers pulled a 180 on the whole point of Fern's character arc of accepting himself/accepting change with the "I'm me again" junk. (I'm still ticked about that btw.) But unless a fic pulls "and then Fern popped out of the ground" or something it's just Finn yapping at a tree/sword that MIGHT be able to hear him.

Is it selfcest? Depends on which Fern we're talking about. Is it ever actually true selfcest? No. The Finn sword itself has had almost two years separated from "Finn" as a concept and humanity as a whole, Finn #2 has grown past himself and into a different, more well adjusted dude. Throw in the grass demon and you've got a completely different person that's struggling with an identity that won't fit despite the Finn face boxing him into it.

Some people will say selfcest = looks the same, disregard everything else. So. Take my opinion with a hefty shoulder toss of salt.

[azhar456]

since I'm already dead inside I should just kill myself..

[cutter-kirby]

i'm surprised i haven't seen anyone point this out yet, but.... belos isn't dead. like. sure he got stomped on. but also a few months earlier he crashed into a wall with more than enough force to crack it, shattering his entire physical form, and came back from a few drops that hit hunter's shoulder. he possessed the titan with the smallest sliver of slime that escaped raine's magic. that fucker's not dead. and before you say he got melted... the rain stopped. king said some was on his claw. we've seen belos regenerate from less. he's not dead. and i don't think he'll be dying anytime soon. not if he has anything to say about it. just a thought.

[tinylilvalery]

Can ya'll please let women be dirty, or unkempt, or fuckn idk, not overly sexualised and feminised? Can ya'll let women have their natural bodies without objectifying them? I'm fucking begging you to stop sanitising the appearance of your female characters.

[poisonandpages]

It's wild how I always forget that via my grandmother's side of the family I'm genetically predisposed to migraines until one hits me.

Something I fucking hate about one disability begetting another is it makes it so hard to figure out the source of a problem before it hits and sometimes during.

Like when I have a bad day with headaches I have to spend a while going "Is this because of migraine disorder? Fibro? Anxiety? Muscle tension? Autistic over-stimulation? Have I developed a whole new fucking condition while dealing with all the other shit?" Or if it's a bad pain day elsewhere "Is it fibro? Hypermobility? Have I stressed myself into literal physical hurt? Has one of my joints slipped out of place in my sleep? Did I just straight up get hit by something and not notice because I was dissociating at the time?"

When you don't know the cause that can be so much harder to treat and plan for. I don't know if I need to stock up on medicine or just grab some hot compresses and hope for the best. I don't know how long my daily schedule is going to be interrupted for, from attending appointments to doing basic housework tasks. I don't know if I'm likely to feel ill for an hour or a week.

I'm trying really hard to be positive because I'm going back to college to get the qualifications for a job that'll make me happy but if I can't keep up with the physically demanding aspects of that job then there's no point. And there are so many things I still want to do in life that I don't want to believe I've got no chance because my various disabilities will limit me too severely to let me try new things. And just generally I don't want to be miserable and bitter. That's not the kind of person I choose to be. But fuck me it is hard sometimes not to be resentful of my genetics and all the ways they make everything just that little bit trickier to endure. I'm so tired.

[aeons-domain]

Now I'm curious about something 🤔 Reblog this and put in the tags or comments what ideas or concepts did you scrap for your OC's lore/backstory.

I know an OC's background isn't always going to be consistent or concrete and that's fine! But do you ever have ideas that you either A) didn't have time to work on, B) found too complex to incorporate into their lore, or C) feel like it just didn't fit in based on the standards of whatever universe (canon or original) your OC is in? Or perhaps a secret fourth option, I dunno!

[neobisexual]

had a very intense semi lucid dream last night where i was the daughter/acolyte of an insane cult leader/my dad who performed non consenual surgery on me and molested and raped me. it inspired me to start writing a lil sci fi novella but also to clean out my closet and find my vibrator cuz i was desperate for it after waking up lmfao

[nandorisms]

My eternal sunshine of the spotless mind Nandermo fic lives rent-free in my head.

Would love to write it someday.

Would love to feel the urge to write again someday 😩

[yurislava]

BSD!Geto is so interesting tbh

what would his views on non ability users be? would he be an antifyodor in a way, since fyodor wants to get rid of abilities and geto of non sorcerers? their ideals are definitely similar (abilities / how ppl treat sorcerers are bad) but they have different ideas how to resolve the issues (which they're both. really passionate about). would he become more like fukuchi? or maybe would he not change at all? maybe the bsd world wouldn't bring him this type of misery?

[opens-up-4-nobody]

the good thing about asperger's no longer being a diagnosis is that it's just called level 1 autism spectrum disorder now. i know i probably shouldn't be poking around in the mental health of strangers online, but as an autistic person myself, your struggles resonated with me. ever since i've been able to accept, understand, and begin to provide myself accommodations for my autism, my mental health has improved tremendously. autism is also co-morbid with oodles of other conditions, so it is definitely possible to have autism and other conditions that may have overlapping symptoms

It's funny, I was diagnosed, accepted it, over analyzed and rejected it, subsequently forgot about it entirely, then when the only helpful counselor I ever had brought up the idea I was like: Oh yeah! That makes sense. And went through the same process over again. I will say, having someone point out that something might be inhibiting my ability to interact with people was extremely helpful. Because I just thought I was really bad at it and processed it as a point of failure (which was intolerable). At one point she said "You don't have to do things you don't want to just because you feel like you should" and I think about that a lot. That should have been obvious but it was like she slapped me with a fish