#no homo though maybe

[samyurice]

💤💤

[treecakes]

lol i shouldn’t have rbed that neanderthal post bc now whenever it shows up in my notes i get teary eyed. so many of the capstone projects this past year in my program were on neanderthals so i’ve been seeing so much abt them but they were humans just like us. they made art and cared for their sick and elderly and made good food and made clothing like us. we have no records of their languages but they are so genetically and physiologically close to us that it would make little to no sense if they didn’t have languages like us. and clearly we cared about them enough and found them similar enough to us for their dna to be carried on in us today.

[apollorobin]

wlw and mlm solidarity!!!! they are bffs in my head!!!! based on the stage play photo below:

will i ever stop drawing pictures based on stage play photos? hmmm let me think about that for a second... NOPE lol

[hp-lonesome-actual-art]

UHM. UH. More messy rushed doodle collection from today. I will not confess to anything my mouth is sealed shut. Most of it is mindless fun; nothing to do with brainstorming storylines or being worried about staying canonical to how his character is typically presented. Head empty no thoughts since I desperately needed a break from animating again

…but yes to answer your question I’m a bit deranged about him please keep scrolling

[steveyockey]

Let me say something. No homo > beat sheet…….. cas was character assassinated and as far as I can remember Derek and stiles are both recognizable as their character from the tv

everyone willing to go to bat on behalf of a sterek fic against a destiel fic in the inbox of a supernatural blog. now that’s power. that’s legacy

[henrioo]

°•*⁀➷ ORANGE THEORY: TRIO MONSTER

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : "It seems that if your lover peel an orange for you without you asking him first, then that means they really love you, since they can do things for you without you even asking they for that."

꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ : Male! Reader (can be trans or cis), MLM, homo relationship, man x man relationship, Sanji and Zoro bickering in their scenarios, it's mentioned that the reader likes orange and likes food in general, gay being used in a way to make the other embarrassed (not using for you), term men-kisser, Sanji is a little pervert about your male body (nothing too weird), a lot of terms and nicknames for male people

꒰ WC ꒱ : 1,6 in all, 300 for Luffy, 772 for Sanji and 576 for Zoro

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : So lol I wanted to do this one because I saw a lot of those one week, then I though was fair for boys having that too. I planned to post this some week ago, but I passed through a lot of things so I got a little unmotivated, but now since I have 700 followers from the night to the day I think I have to give everyone more content, so hm here it is, for all those people... Jesus this is scary, I'm still gonna make an official post for celebrating the followers, but I'm planning a thing for that so maybe it will take a while, but it's coming and with some present for you guys. Enjoy!

➤ Luffy

Naive of you to think that you would need to go to Luffy, the moment you appear on the deck with an orange for your snack, your boyfriend is already on top of you with his arms wrapped around your waist and drooling all over the fruit.

“Hey (y/n), did you get it for me?” He would ask laughing as you huffed at his insatiable hunger.

“No, for me, why would I get it for you?” You said feigning anger with a pout on your lips.

“Because…” Luffy made a hurt face, with big puppy dog eyes and a truly hurt pout. “Because you are my boyfriend and your duty is to feed me!” He said irritated and rocking you in his arms.

You just laughed, Luffy almost never called you his boyfriend, only at appropriate times for him, like now. The boy might have an airhead, but he knew that using titles like that would make you melt and fulfill his every desire.

“That goes for you too” you snorted, offering him the orange “You’re also my boyfriend so you should feed me too” you said laughing at his logic, but still finding it cute.

Luffy just let you go and took the orange in his hands, you were distracted to answer something to Usopp and took your eyes off the boy. Soon you felt him poking you and when you turned around you found Luffy offering you half of the peeled orange.

"Here! Now we’re even, you fed me and I fed you!” He said laughing as he stuffed half of the orange into his mouth and ran off to do something else.

Simply leaving you there with half an orange in your hand, red cheeks and a racing heart. Besides, of course, the obvious certainty that you loved Luffy.

➤ Sanji

It's impossible for Sanji to leave you hungry, he has a biological clock that works solely to always give you treats and small snacks between important meals. It's easier for you to get tired from eating so much than to actually get hungry around this man, especially when you're his boyfriend, and therefore his number one priority.

You had just helped Nami and received one of her precious oranges as a reward, so you decided it was a good snack until lunch time that was approaching. You entered the kitchen and sat at the counter, placing your orange there so you could eat.

“Do you need anything my beloved (y/n)-kun?” Sanji asked, looking at you over his shoulder as he continued preparing for lunch.

“No, I just wanted to stay here with you for a while” you answered him with a smile, Sanji didn't usually let you help him with most of the main meals, he said that the pressure of having to finish the meal on time for everyone was bad for your skin. He would prefer that you could cook calmly and calmly, making meals without a delivery date. That's why you usually only watched him cook the main meals, already knowing that he would refuse your help.

“You are so lovely Mon ange, I am so lucky to have you” he said, sighing dramatically with heart eyes as he turned to you with a lovestruck face, he quickly noticed your orange with curious eyes. "An orange?"

“Huh? Oh yes, I was helping Nami and she gave me one” you explained to him, knowing that he would be curious that you had a snack that he didn't give you.

Before any other movement was made, you heard Nami calling you on the main deck urgently. You huffed angrily and got up, telling Sanji that you would be right back while he opened the kitchen door to resolve whatever situation they needed from you.

When you came back a few minutes later, sitting at the counter again, you noticed that your orange was gone. You looked around looking for the fruit, it wasn't anywhere else on the counter, nor on the table, nor had it fallen on the floor or anywhere nearby.

“Sanji? Have you seen my orange?” You asked, not remembering taking the fruit with you.

“Just a moment my dear” Sanji said, still fiddling with something with his back to you. Confused, you followed his order and waited in silence.

Then your blonde boyfriend turned around and handed you a plate with your orange, but very different from the orange you had initially left. Now it was completely cut and all the pieces separated, that white part that you always complained about was gone and the slices were positioned to form a heart, in addition to, of course, a toothpick stuck into them with a heart design on top.

“You already work so much with those idiots, you shouldn't tire your beautiful male hands…” Sanji said and quickly fell silent, you felt like he was going to say a perverted sentence but he held himself back to keep the moment cute.

“Ah, Sanji, this is so cute” you said, observing the dish that was so well crafted, you hadn't even asked him and yet he did everything as if it were his duty. “Thank you for that love,” you said smiling at him.

Sanji stared at you in silence for a few minutes with flushed cheeks and a shy smile... and then he lost control.

“Ah, my dear (y/n)-kun! Please don't waste your compliments on me! Oh, you are such a kind man! A true gentleman! I could do anything you want my beloved prince! I will serve you all the days of my life and protect your beautiful strong manly body! Oh you are so sexy my dear (y/n)-kun! You are the most handsome man on the entire planet, I am so lucky to be your boyfriend! Please marry me and be my husband!”

You didn't even need to react as Zoro entered the kitchen yawning. “Can you stop being gay, cook? There are people wanting to have lunch”

“Who are you calling gay you little shit?!” Sanji shouted angrily.

“You, man-kisser,” Zoro shot back angrily.

“Listen here, the only man I kiss is my beloved (y/n)-kun and I would rather die than kiss anyone other than him!”

“Still a man-kisser” You decided to ignore them fighting while you ate your oranges… Sanji might be a bit exaggerated but you knew he loved you and you loved him even more.

➤ Zoro

You plopped down next to your boyfriend, sitting next to him against the ship. He complained with a huff about you disturbing him in his nap, since you were practically lying on top of him. So he decided to open his eyes to see what you were doing.

There you were smiling as you held an orange in your lap, you looked beaming as you shouted something to Luffy and Chopper in the distance on the other side of the ship.

"What is that?" Zoro asked about his fruit.

“Hmm? Snack” you said smiling childishly “Sanji gave it to me when I said I was hungry, cool right?” You said excitedly, when it came to eating you were always happy.

But the mention of the cook made Zoro lose all the excitement he gained seeing his cuteness, what was that stupid cook thinking? Sure, Sanji practically hated men and would never be with one, but you were still Zoro's boyfriend! Sanji couldn't just be nice to you like that! That was only the swordsman's right!

You seemed to ignore your boyfriend's instant bad mood, you didn't usually care about Zoro's jealousy, always saying that he exaggerated too much sometimes. Not that it was a lie, but that didn't stop him from feeling jealous. He snorted thinking about millions of things, did you like the cook more because of his kindness?

While you were distracted screaming and talking to your captain about something stupid, Zoro stole the orange from your lap and started peeling the fruit as best he could, after all his anger told him to throw that fruit into the ocean or else throw it at the head of that idiot blonde.

When you stopped talking and went to get your fruit you noticed it was missing, you immediately became desperate for having lost your snack. “Zoro, have you seen my orange?!” You asked looking at your boyfriend, had Luffy caught her while you were distracted?

When you looked over at Zoro, you found him offering you a piece of orange, which was now peeled in his lap and he was separating the slices.

“Huh? Why is this out of nowhere?” You asked curiously, of course Zoro also had his moments of kindness, but you thought there was something behind this action today.

"Do you want it or not? I thought you liked gentle men” he said irritably as his face turned red and a frown formed on his face.

“Huh?” You had to think for a few seconds, but soon you connected all the dots. “Oh! Were you jealous of Sanji? Oh, aren’t you a cute boyfriend?”

"Shut up idiot!" Zoro shouted as he angrily shoved the piece of orange into your mouth, forcing you to chew and swallow the fruit.

You continued laughing as Zoro cursed you and tried to make you swallow all the orange he peeled for you. Whether he was trying to feed you or kill you, you didn't know.

“Sanji! Zoro is trying to kill (y/n) by choking on an orange!” Luffy shouted, amused by the scene.

“Zoro, stop wasting my orange!” Nami shouted angrily at him.

In the end Zoro decided that he would be the one to bring you snacks, every time you went too long without eating he would show up with something stolen from the kitchen. He had to make sure he marked his territory and let you know he could be gentle too.

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

Hiiiiii, this is my first time requesting!

I was wondering if you could do nsfw head cannons for poly Reid and Hotcher, maybe like what their like in bed or their kinks. Kinda like a NSFW alphabet, anyways thxxx, Love, Cookie🍪💕

nsfw.

a/n: i also want to preface this by saying i do not ship aaron and spencer, it's just for this dynamic, okay? okay.

this turned out WAYY more smutty than you probably thought it was gonna be, and i'm kind of ashamed of myself, so i'm gonna go hide under a rock now, bye!

you are literally never without an orgasm like... ever.

there's always someone ready to touch you, it's like a 7/11 but for sex.

contrary to popular belief, i think the threesomes are kind of rare, because at the end of the day, they both have jobs and aaron is a dad.

but that's not to say that they don't happen, because when they do, they. are. glorious.

it's a whole lotta man let me just say that; big old meat sandwich.

aaron usually is the one that takes control during group situations. gives me heavy soft dom vibes than anything.

he definitely guides spencer on what to do, i.e how to please you, edge you, etc.

that isn't to say spencer gets a bit feisty and then you have two dominant men in your hands.

the dynamic is so incredibly balanced, and the fact that they're both so mature, there's rarely ever any conflict when it comes to sexual situations.

and that credit is being given to the incredible communication that's between the three of you.

i feel like neither of the men would be willing to enter a situation like this without a two way street of communication.

because at the end of the day they are colleagues.

rounding back to that, i feel like spencer takes up the sub role alongside you.

sometimes you two are just so whiny and needy that it's kind of adorable like...

there'll be moments where your touches are so clumsy, and uncoordinated, and aaron can't help himself but watch.

there's no rules on one-on-one contact with one another. you guys can have sex with each other without a third party present.

sometimes when one stays behind while the other goes out on a case, phone sex is a popular activity.

it helps to give the other person away some stress relief when they can.

alright, so i have this scenario in my mind where both you and spencer worship aaron's cock together.

like both of you are on your knees sharing slobbery kisses all the whole you're stroking him.

STRAPPING.

you cannot tell me that there wouldn't be any strapping going on around here.

i already know there are moments where aaron and you gang up on spencer, either to play with him or to just get him out of his head using aaron's cock or yours.

a crazy amount of anal.

like y'all are lowkey a big fan of double penetration, it's one of the ultimate ways to get closer together.

also aaron and spencer do have sex with each other please ungrip your pearls.

i believe that if they're gonna be in a throuple, they're gonna go all the way. there's none of that no homo shit around here.

there will be boys kissing, and honestly one of aaron's favorite things to do is send you videos of him toying with spencer.

i'm talking in his office or on the jet, anywhere where there's even a lick of privacy, expect some nasty messages.

just thinking about the positions you guys get into is kind of ridiculous.

where spencer is more hesitant to try things, i think aaron is more open.

that's why i think there is some heavy bdsm involved in certain scenes, but not a lot because at the end of the day one of 'em is an old man and he can't get down like that.

he damn sure does try though.

it's entertaining to see him with two younger partners, but there's just something about you three being together that just makes sense

you keep him on his toes - yes, the dirty picture and video sending go both ways.

it's to a point where inside of work hours, if aaron sees a text from either you or spencer when he isn't in office with him, he makes sure to turn that brightness down.

lord knows how he'd explain his girlfriend sending him a video of her jerking off his subordinate while he's moaning his name.

even though it is a nice sight to see.

the three of you are very private with your arrangement.

not because you're ashamed or that you think anyone on their team would judge you guys, it's just that they are relentless.

old man grouchy aaron hotchner and loser boy genius spencer reid being in a throuple?! yeah, go ahead and sound the alarms, because tonight's drama is good.

so, you three just like to keep your little paradise to yourselves, though the others aren't stupid.

though you don't work with them, spencer and aaron are almost always together, so there's bound to be some boyfriend actions that take place on accident.

especially if the two of them come out of the same room together and one looks a little disheveled.

besides that, i think they are very kinky when it comes to your sex lives, and i think there's something new every time it happens.

[abstractpenny]

Okay, real fast (maybe). So. Cole. He's super gay, I think we can all agree. But why? Why did they make Cole gay?

We always talk about the 'proof' that he's gay, like his true potential episode back in season 1 (about 12 years ago), his lack of true interest in women romantically, and his super homo ass relationship with Geo, but we never talk about the reason he is written as queer.

One argument I see repeated on the 'save my boy cole' side of the internet is the idea that the writers should have written a whole new character to be gay.

And guess what.

They did.

Who? Geo. He's the newly written gay character. He's the new representation.

The problem, though, with making only one new character (or even making a couple or a few) is that we don't have a connection with said character(s). They're reduced to 'the gay character'.

This harms the queer community more than helping sometimes because it reduces queer people to a single type of person. It makes queerness their entire identity when it's only part of it.

So, what's the solution? Write this new queer character into a romance with an old character that could totally be queer.

Cole has kind of always had queer undertones. That's seen most prominently in his season 1 true potential episode. (I won't get too into it here, if you need more information, you can find the episode free on multiple platforms or you can watch/read someone else analyze it.) He's always been able to be queer.

I don't know if Cole was initially written with the intention of being gay or queer. I don't know if he's always been written through that lense or how long he's been written with that idea in mind. But it's there and it's always had potential. It makes sense for his character and doesn't really introduce many plot holes, if any at all.

Him being written with Geo romantically and gay makes their relationship more human and appealing to a lot of people, including queer people.

We're familiar with a whole half of the couple. Many if us have known him for over a decade. He's a lovable character with good morals. He's a hero. Making Cole gay is honestly a wonderful choice for queer representation, especially for queer kids.

Making Cole and Geo a romantic couple makes sense. It would be such a big win for the LGBTQ+ community if they become a thing.

[freakaz0idartz]

GUSY MY WIFE POSTED LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK

feelin 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂

tryna find all the artists who draw fat tits lemme know if ur a fat tit enjoyer🙏

[leighlew3]

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE MARVELS.

But I’ll refrain from direct spoilers for now. It’s mildly spoiler-y maybe but very generalized and I’m gonna talk around some stuff. 😅

The nutshell?

It’s legit SO fun. It’s a fun, funny as hell, really ENJOYABLE time at the movies. I laughed. Got misty. Felt feels. And wow… THE CAMEOS!!! 🔥

This movie is for everybody. Families should have a great time. But fangirls especially will LOVE. Highly recommend for a SMILE. 😸

Cool action. Great music. Lovable cast (I will adore Iman Vellani as Kamala Khan forever). Laugh out loud moments. I loved it. It didn’t unnecessarily waste time nor stretch anything out. It’s just under 2 hours and it WORKS.

Look, yeah it’s blah blah random plot lore lore etc but it opens up for the future while giving a blast of a ride in the present (and nods to the past). 😉

Go. Now. 👍

And stay for the mid-credit scene!

Lastly, IMO, it’s all very queer coded. Baity even. THAT 🎶 scene was the one iffy thing for me. Kinda silly, and really felt like a “no homo” for the straights but a wink wink and super coded for the LGBTQs. “Marriage of convenience” … 🤐💀 Anyway it’s pretty clear Carol and Valkyrie definitely hooked up. And we all know Maria was so totally her partner before, because come on already… Monica is her dang daughter, that “Aunt” shit ain’t flyin’. And Kamala is hardcore CRUSHIN’ on Carol. 😂

Also one of the cameos at the end. Of all characters they chose the one people are also shipping with another female character, played by an actress beloved by the sapphics for her previous queer roles? And the cats?! So many cats. 💀 Plus Valkyrie in a suit? SAPPHICS RISE.

This entire movie was a whole fruit basket but in a way that slides past heteronormative audiences so “families can still enjoy” (🙄) but that’s a whole other ramble (or rant) for another day.

In the meantime… it’s so fun, y’all. Please GO. It’s important to support projects like these or they’ll keep pulling back on women and POC in these things. Even though the strike impacted promotion and the butthurt fragile misogynists are trying to review bomb (as always). It’s legit a fun time and if you hated it I have to just assume you hate fun, so. Go. See it. Spread the word. 🙏

[wickjump]

Epic asks Cross if he wants to kiss (no homo) under the mistlebro send tweet

ohmy god… he DOES………. he totally calls it the mistlebro because “he only kisses the homies under it”. if this is pre-dating cross is so Terribly embarrassed. “this is just like gay chicken he’s just doing a joke” bro he literally asked to kiss you. “but he said no homo…” LOOK AT HIM.

if this is while they’re dating cross fires back. mostly by taking the initiative 50% of the time which epic does not expect but is not opposed to. it’s the mistlebro….. they kiss under the mistlebro…..

cross is generally a very easy to fluster person regardless though which epic knows damn well. and finds it funny slash cute. I love tbem

mildly incomprehensible maybe but still. I love crepic soooo much they are so in love and it’s TERRIBLE for EVERYONE ELSE because they’re so OBNOXIOUS with it even before they’re dating

[jade-len]

so today i tricked my very straight male friend into reading svsss.

okay look, i wasn't planning to at first and it's not like it was completely my fault. he wanted to read it!

i was showing him how badly they fucked up mu qingfang in the donghua by comparing it to the english novel design (he said that mu qingfang went from looking like a soft dilf to a predator registered on the epstein island list). and then, i showed him how different some of the other character designs were like gongyi xiao's ("he looks like he'd be a genshin character" -friend, to eng novel design) and luo binghe's ("lowkey, he kinda gives airbender vibes" -friend, to bunhe eng novel design)

so that was all i was gonna show him, nothing else. but after seeing them, he goes, "these designs actually look hella cool. what's the book called?"

now, do i:

A. tell him the name, eventually revealing that it's a danmei when he looks it up?

B. just straight up tell him that it's a danmei?

C: don't tell him the name just yet, spill the summary, get him interested, and tell him to not search anything up about it because there's heavy spoilers and it will reveal them the moment he types it up on the search bar

i go with C, obviously.

me: so, basically, some guy named shen yuan transmigrates into an incel harem male power fantasy novel where the protagonist, luo binghe, has hundreds of wives. thing is though, the guy pretty much took over the body of binghe's teacher he had when he was a teenager, who turns out to be a really scummy dude. and now he has to be nice to him so that the protagonist doesn't rip off his limbs and put him into a pickle pot in the future to suffer for eternity.

friend: that sounds hilarious and horrifying at the same time.

me: yes it is, and you should read it. it's like. my favorite novel at the moment. but don't search up anything about it because people spoil that shit. i'll let you borrow my novel

friend: nah don't worry, i'll just pirate it

friend: wait. does it have pictures?

me, my plan coming together: yeah, it has pictures. buuut, when you pirate it, it doesn't. trust me dude, i tried and was severely disappointed. plus, the physical copy is so much better

friend: fuck yeah ok thanks

me: hold on though. i'll text you later to see if my friend who's borrowing it rn is done reading it

he's hyped. he's excited. he craves a good book and a good transmigration interpretation. he's especially happy about the fact that it takes place in a chinese setting with cool powers and an actual good main character. "this sounds so good, god i wanna read it so bad."

i tell him that binghe is actually adorable, too. that it's pretty much found family! my friend then asks if shen yuan adopts him and becomes a father figure or something.

and i said "yes". you know, like a liar. (the father figure part probably isn't a lie though)

now i'm gonna give him the novel tomorrow! of course, i'm gonna cover the chapter 2 bunhe sexual awakening scene with washi tape and say that my baby cousin (sorry baby cousin, you would never <\3) scribbled all over that paragraph with her markers, and since i'm a neat book freak, i put washi tape and just wrote the scene! i don't know if that's really all too believable, but he didn't seem to care that much. just a simple "if my baby cousin did that to my book i would punt them into the sun"

i think what'll be more hilarious is the fact that you can't really tell that svsss is a BL. especially not volume 1. there's like, only a few lines indicating, but if you remove the baby binghe sexual awakening scene then you probably won't be able to know (...if you don't really read romance or anything. idk he's kinda dense anyways). so let's hope he gets attached and has a slow descent into the homo before i drop svsss vol 2 on him!

ok anyways i'll update you guys later with a reblog. maybe in about two or three days lol

(also don't worry, we already fuck around with each other on a daily basis like this. he's already tricked me into reading some manga i was unprepared for, and i thought that it'd be funny to mess around with him using svsss this time lol)

[cyberphuck]

Assassin's Apprentice: Who are you? Oh, you can talk. Thanks for taking care of my dog. Yeah I promise I won't eat poison

Royal Assassin: You sure like hanging out with the King, huh? Alright dick, you can stop making up songs about who I have sex with. Where are you from? Oh shit who punched you? Alright you'd better get out of here, bye

Assassin's Quest: thanks for taking care of me even though my face is ugly now apparently. Oh, you're coming on the road trip? Sick! Dude stop pretending to be gay haha. No seriously dude no homo. Yeah friends kiss each other on the mouth sometimes. Oh word? Okay bye

Fool's Errand: (the fantasy equivalent of making out with your friend at a party "as a joke")

Golden Fool: DUDE I SAID NO HOMO-- wdym "divorce"???

Fool's Fate: (part one) nothing I could possibly do could make him more angry at me than he is now. Okay maybe one thing. ...Maybe a few things. Wow he's really pissed. (Part two) it's not gay if I pull out. (Part three) We're married, but like. Friend-married.

All of the F&F trilogy: my name is Fitzchivalry and this is my wife The Fool

[justlookfrightened]

Needing a hug

Filling a prompt from @shygryf: A pining Bitty is jealous watching Shitty be casually affectionate with Jack.

Bitty wasn’t sure when he noticed it for the first time.

Maybe it wasn’t the first practice, but it was early.

Shitty was allowed to touch Jack in a way that other players — other people — weren’t.

Shitty clapped Jack on the shoulder when they were skating out onto the ice, slung his arm around Jack’s waist when they walked around campus, even — more than once — kissed Jack on the cheek.

Sure, Shitty was usually very drunk when the kissing happened. It usually followed Shitty making some kind of proclamation like, “Jackabelle! You magnificent specimen of a Canadian moose!” And Jack usually shrunk away a little bit — something between a flinch and a cringe — but he didn’t react violently, or yell at Shitty, or even look really displeased.

If it was anyone besides Jack, Bitty might have started to wonder if maybe, just maybe, he enjoyed intimacy with men.

But it was Jack. The manliest of men. The straightest of arrows. Totally no-homo bro, as Holster would say.

Bitty had almost asked Shitty about it, once, when he was a frog. When Jack had seemed to be in a round robin of yelling at Bitty, sighing and rolling his eyes at Bitty in exasperation, and pounding on Bitty’s bedroom door so early in the morning it was by rights still night. And that didn’t even count Jack disparaging Bitty’s nutrition. 

Bitty had complained to Shitty about Jack and his Captain Hard Ass ways.

“It’s like he’s always watching me, just waiting for me to screw up,” Bitty had grumbled, wrapped in a blanket and sitting with his back against the wall while Shitty smoked a joint in the Reading Room on top of the Haus porch. “He hates me.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Shitty had said. “He’s really not a bad guy.”

“Easy for you to say,” Bitty said. “He likes you. He thinks I’m going to torpedo the team.”

“If he didn’t think you could contribute, he wouldn’t bother helping you,” Shitty said, like it was the most logical thing in the world.

“Helping me?” Bitty said, arching an eyebrow. “You mean by waking me up a full five hours before my first class three days a week?”

“You didn’t faint once at practice last week,” Shitty pointed out.

“Still,” Bitty said.

Shitty drew on the joint, making its end glow orange, then breathed out a cloud of smoke before he said,  “You know how they say that if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail? That’s Jack. The only tool in his box is working harder than anybody else.”

“Hasn’t he ever heard ‘work smarter, not harder’?” Bitty retorted. “And he doesn’t act like that with you. You, he hugs. Or at least hugs back, when you hug him.”

Bitty stopped and ran the sentence back. Did it make sense, or was he getting a contact high?

Shitty didn’t respond, instead asking, “How long until pie, brah?”

Bitty checked the timer on his phone.

“Comes out in a couple minutes,” he said. “But you have to let it cool before you eat it. You want me to whip up some muffins? Those you can eat warm.”

That was the closest Bitty ever got to talking about it with Shitty. He never brought it up again, maybe because it wasn’t too much longer before Jack and Bitty were on the same line, and Bitty was getting his own share of physical affection from Jack.

And, of course, from everyone else on the ice when their line (Jack) scored.

Bitty had spent years keeping his hands and body to himself to avoid the way people pulled away like being gay was contagious or something. Now he found that the camaraderie and joy in post-goal cellies was a balm to his lonely soul. Especially since the whole team already knew he was gay, and no one cared.

Moving into the Haus his second year gave him a whole new view of the Jack-Shitty relationship. Sure, Shitty was over the top with everyone, but he was also respectful. He had been the first on the team to ruffle Bitty’s hair, and the first to back off when Bitty recoiled. Even though Bitty tried not to show his distaste; he knew Shitty meant it affectionately.

Shitty roughhoused with Ransom and Holster, play-fighting and bro-hugging and noogie-ing with abandonment.

He did all those things with Jack, too. Even if Jack somehow always won even the play-fights.

But there was more. Shitty sat next to Jack on the gross couch, sides plastered up against each other, when there was a movie or game night. Shitty jumped into Jack’s arms and hugged him when they returned from winter break, and Shitty was in Jack’s room at all hours.

This morning, when Bitty had tried to go to Jack to ask about practice, he found an underwear-clad Shitty cuddling a (fully clothed) sleeping Jack in Jack’s bed. Shitty had just put a finger to his lips to tell Bitty to be quiet, and didn’t say a word about it.

Bitty backed out of the room and shut the door quietly, wondering why his heart hurt.

It shouldn’t make him sad that Jack and Shitty were comfortable expressing physical affection within the bonds of male-male platonic friendship. Or that Shitty was, and Jack was okay with it.

Bitty paused for a moment inside the door of his own room to be proud of how far he had come in terms of understanding gender dynamics, mostly through Shitty’s informal tutoring of anyone within earshot. Two years ago, before he came to Samwell, he would have looked at the scene in Jack’s room and immediately labeled it “gay.” Now he looked at it and knew that while he was gay, all he saw was Shitty attaching himself like a limpet to Jack, in order for Jack to get past his anxiety enough to rest.

He’d learned a lot about Jack, too. The upcoming parents’ weekend must really be getting to Jack, for all Jack’s parents seemed friendly and proud of their son.

Maybe it was that Bitty wished Shitty would come and hug him like that when he got overwhelmed? Shitty’s physical interactions with Bitty had been careful since the hair-ruffling incident, more than a year ago now; Shitty always hesitated just for a moment, something Bitty had come to understand as a non-verbal check-in to make sure the intended touch would be welcomed. 

Bitty kind of wished he wouldn’t, kind of wished the guys would include him in their rough play like he was just one of the guys. The thing was, he knew the only thing that was stopping them was Bitty himself. All he had to do was join in — he was sure of that — and they would pile on him as happily as they piled on one another, just like they did in cellies.

And all he had to do for Shitty to hug him would be to tell him it was okay, that he wanted that. Or even to hug Shitty first.

He wondered if Jack and Shitty had ever had a conversation like that, back before Bitty knew them.

Shitty: “Brah, is it okay if I hug you?”

Jack: shrug

Shitty: “I’m serious. Your body belongs to you, Jackabelle. I want to know if it’s okay.”

Jack: “If it’s not, I’ll tell you.”

And Jack had never said it wasn’t okay.

So maybe there was a conversation Bitty should have with Shitty, but that wasn’t what was making him sad.

Maybe it was that Jack was anxious, and needed someone like Shitty to help him rest?

But Jack’s anxiety had nothing to do with Bitty. It was just a part of Jack, a part that he tried (sometimes unsuccessfully) to keep under wraps by acting like a hockey robot. Which he very much was not, Bitty had come to learn. And that sometimes, when Jack’s anxiety got the better of him, he lashed out at people (like Bitty) who were in the way.

Bitty should be grateful to Shitty for helping Jack, whose behavior towards Bitty had undergone a marked change by the end of last season, a change that showed no signs of shifting back. It was like playing good hockey had somehow made Bitty a Real Person in Jack’s eyes.

That wasn’t fair. Jack continued to treat Bitty like a Real Person, even when Bitty’s phobia came roaring back at the beginning of his second season and even Hall and Murray were talking about cutting him. Maybe it was just familiarity that did the trick?

In any case, Bitty didn’t want Jack to suffer — didn’t want anyone to suffer — from the kind of anxiety that plagued Jack, so he was grateful to Shitty for helping in a way that he couldn’t.

Bitty climbed out his own window to the Reading Room and sat with his back against the wall  because that was where he felt safest, not because he couldn’t be seen there from Jack’s room, and rolled that kernel of a thought around in his head.

He felt sad because Shitty could help Jack in a way that he couldn’t. 

That didn’t make any sense, though. Of course Shitty could help Jack in ways that he couldn’t. All people were different (maybe Shitty more than most, his brain unhelpfully supplied); he couldn’t be jealous of Shitty for using his unique strengths and skills to help their mutual friend Jack.

Because Jack was their mutual friend, even if Shitty was Jack’s best friend.

Well, of course he was. Shitty had known Jack longer, had helped Jack acclimate to college life in the States (and Bitty was proud that he didn’t call it “America” anymore, now that he knew people from other North American countries), was closer to Jack’s age, and even if it shouldn’t matter, closer to Jack’s social class. Bitty should be happy just to be allowed to tag along.

Bitty didn’t begrudge Shitty his best-friend status with Jack.

He just wished that he could hug Jack like Shitty did.

That was it.

He wished he could hug Jack (and maybe have Jack hug him back, the way he did Shitty?). Bitty was craving the comfort of physical contact, which he’d denied himself for too long. He’d have that conversation with Shitty, and maybe he’d jump into the next group wrestling match …

And then, maybe — maybe then he would be able to hug Jack.

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Physical Graffiti

Author: entropic_saudade

Artist: BasketcaseBetty

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Endgame Dean Winchester/Castiel, Brief Dean Winchester/Ash, Brief Dean Winchester/Max Banes, John Winchester/Kate Milligan, Past John Winchester/Mary Winchester, Past Dean Winchester/Lee Webb, Past Dean Winchester/Cassie Robinson, Past Dean Winchester/Others, Past Castiel/Others, Implied Bobby Singer/Rufus Turner, Past Bobby Singer/Karen Singer, Harper Sayles/Vance, Edward Carrigan/Madge Carrigan, Jenny Sorenson/OMC, Larry Pike/Joanie Pike, Background Max/Stacy.

Length: 75000

Warnings: Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings. Additional Content Warnings: Self Harm, Alcohol Use Disorder, Recreational Drug Use, Child Abuse, Past Non-Con, Past Underage, Past Drug Addiction, Minor Character Death, Mental Health Issues

Tags: Case Fic, Murder Mystery, Horror Elements, Slow Burn, Journalist Dean Winchester, Detective Cas, Eventual Hopeful Ending, Families of Choice

Posting Date: November 4, 2024

Summary: The only ghosts and demons are the ones inside his head.  Fresh from a prematurely-ended stint at an inpatient psychiatric facility, ‘former’ self-harmer and functional alcoholic Dean Winchester returns to Sioux Falls, where he works as a crime journalist. His editor, Bobby Singer, sends him back home to Lawrence to gather the story on the murder of a teen boy and the recent disappearance of another. Painful memories from growing up resurface as the missing boy turns up horrifically dead and another goes missing.  The investigation is further complicated by the town’s gossipy tight-knit nature, Dad’s judgment, and botched attempts at making inroads with his estranged half-family, Kate and Adam Milligan.  Dean crosses paths with Castiel Novak, a renegade detective from Kansas City with a troubled past of his own. As they work together, they slip past each other’s defenses, unearthing each other’s secrets and digging for the truth.  As it turns out, monsters just might be real—and they just might live at home.  A Sharp Objects-inspired AU.

Excerpt: A dumpy parking lot, leaning against Baby’s hood, looking to the stars—it reminds Dean of doing the same with the football jocks. The way he’d smuggle stolen beer cans in Dad’s jacket pocket, turning him from ‘homo’ to ‘hero’ in their eyes. Stupidly, it reminds him of Lee.  Dean sneaks a glance over at Cas’ profile, tracing the angle of his jaw as he tilts his head up. The same stupid butterflies flap in his stomach. He suffocates them with a few swigs. “So, our arrangement. I’ll answer a question for each one you answer,” Cas offers, his adam’s apple bobbing.  “Deal.”  “What was it like growing up in Lawrence?” Dean whistles. “Starting with hardballs, huh? You don’t pull any punches.”  “Would you rather I ask for your favorite color?” Cas teases.  He groans. “No, none of that grade school shit. Gimme the real scoop.” Cas raises a pointed brow. You first. “Alright, Lawrence.” He sighs, bracing himself. “Mom had… my brother when I was four.” His voice wavers slightly when he brings up Sammy.  “Adam is much younger, though, isn’t he?”  “Different brother, Kate’s my stepmom. Me and Sam, we’re our Mom’s. She died when Sam was six months old. House fire.” Cas’ eyes sadden, but he doesn’t say anything. “But, as far as growing up—normal, I guess. Went to the school district nearby, was in wrestling for a little bit. I wasn’t some prodigy but I did okay, grades-wise.” “I bet you were Mr. Popular.” Dean barks a laugh. “Uh, no. Sorta depends on who you ask.” Depends on what year. “After graduation, I left for college.” Dean skips over the rest of the highlight reel.  “And Sam?” “Hey, you gotta answer at least one question first,” Dean pokes him. “Why is a detective from Kansas City down in Lawrence?”  “My supervisor likes to send me out on solo cases for assists. I don’t exactly work well with others.”  “Well, you and I make a pretty good team—a little chaotic, maybe, but at least we ruled two suspects off your list.”  “That we did. It’s a shame you’re not a detective.” “Reporters are detectives of sorts. We both look for narrative, just in different ways.” Cas gives a thoughtful hum. “My turn again. What happened to Sam?” Dean’s throat convulses. “He died. We were in our teens.” “What happened?” “He was sick all the time. One day, he just… kept getting worse. His body couldn’t take it.” Sammy’s ghost observed them, sadly, flickering in an in-between state.  “I’m sorry, Dean.”  They sit in silence for a few moments. Panic builds in Dean’s chest, and he worries that he’s ruined whatever rapport they’d been building.  “I’ll tell you something if you swear to not tell another soul?”  Dean nods, relief settling over him. He eats secrets for breakfast.  “The real reason I work Homicide is because it’s better than what I used to do.”  “What’s so bad that working Homicide is better?” Cas looked down and didn’t answer.

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[mrmiserymushroom]

one of my personal favorite tropes it’s the “well, we are really close and get along pretty well! they’re one of the best people in the world and one of my best friends. We hook up and good he fucks me so well and sometimes i fantasize about getting married but it’s not like i’m head over hills for them! NO NO NO NO NOPE. NO HOMO!!! TOTALLY BUDDIES BEING BUDDIES! but oh lord if you touch them I SWEAR TO FUCKING-” and i am was absolutely enchanted that this new episode got all of that!!

I also got to understand fizzy a lot more and now he (and maybe Ozzie) is my favorite character after Stolas!

I love how he and Blitz made up after a long time, even though I thought it was kinda quickly (or maybe i was just way too anxious and excited about my hyperfixation getting a new episode). I loved to see Blitzo getting to fix his mistakes and apologizing. I loved seeing him and fizzy talking and making jokes and arguing bc they’re so goddamn funny and have so much connection! Their friendship got my heart warm :]

I was a bit heartbroken about Stolas and how worried he was about his situation with Blitz. but I’m happy he seems to have a friend who will help him a bit and seems he can count on!

I LOVED FIZZAROLLI’S SONG OMG???? it was so yummy and nice and coool and AARSHAJDJAKSKAKSDKS

overall i REALLY loved this episode! Helluva Boss’s have been one of my hyperfixations and helped me through some really hard times. dunno if this is normal but i but i got so happy and excited about my hyperfixation having new content i actually got depressed and needed to take some SOS and go for a walk???? helloooo whatever the GAD and Depression are doing to me this is one of the craziest.

I get really REALLY insecure with talking about Helluva Boss on my socials and with anyone in general since i know the creator of it has some bad reputation and did really shitty things and the Hazbin Hotel series is pretty much hated for what i can see.

yeah i was afraid of what people would think about me if i tell them i hyperfixate on Helluva Boss and worried if they would thought i agree with any of the bad stuff that goes behind the creator and stuff.

so i just thought it would be a good idea if i just posted about it here (since a lot of people liked my helluva boss drawings) and take this stuff out of my chest to calm down my post anxiety attack. yeah thats it thanks if you read until this point :]

so yeah one of my favorites episodes so far!!! <3