#….yeah I recognize it’s all very out of character and I shall put myself in the corner of shame now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 4 years

Note

After that gorgeous sequel rant, would you be willing to share your thoughts on reylo?

Ugh.

Once again, that is the most succinct, easiest, answer I can supply. But it's so short, and that just won't do.

I mentioned in a recent post that Dramione comes in a myriad of disguises. Every fandom usually has at least one Dramione ship, you can usually guess which characters the ship will consist of, and while you might not be able to articulate exactly what about it makes it so damn similar to Dramione you will recognize it on sight.

Usually, to me, a Dramione ship features a strong, independent, female lead who may be varying levels of sexually empowered, varying levels of intelligent (Hermione loves to tell us how smart she is but it's not the heart of the ship), is strong, courageous, and noble who depending on the story du jour might slide into depravity. The real give away is her love interest, always a man, usually a young man of comparable age, who has the bad boy appeal that's not too bad boy where he often is redeemed to the good side for 'reasons' in the course of the story.

Reylo is such a Dramione pairing.

You don't believe me? Look at the authors who write it, I haven't done this too often myself, but I guarantee you that a not small majority of them will either write Draco/Hermione or will have it all over their favorites and bookmarks. It's the same damn pairing.

But worse.

Because Kylo-Ren and Rey aren't really characters.

"Whoa, hold up!", you say, "That's just slander and uncalled for!" Well, change my mind. Rey Palpatine and Kylo-Ren are a series of character tropes and archetypes thrown to us by Disney screaming "LOVE MY CHARACTERS".

Rey is our noble, very Luke like, hero who is a scrappy desert rat with overwhelming mystical powers only acknowledged when the movies feel like acknowledging them (guys, admit Rey kicked Kylo-Ren's ass every time they fought with 0 training, come on, it's not hard).

However, there is nothing underneath her surface. Her hero worship of the resistance feels dull and given to her because it's expected. Of course Rey likes the resistance! The resistance is great! Sign her up! Rey has been living in the desert at the edge of nowhere for presumably 15 years, I'm shocked she's even heard of the new republic let alone the resistance. Despite essentially starving and only having a home that's a broken down old fighter, Rey saves a random droid. We're not really given a compelling reason of why she would do this, that she has a deep respect for droids/is horrified by their use, really really really hates the random trader she sells things to, or really really really hates the empire (if she even realizes it's them behind the bounty). She does it just so that a) the plot keeps moving b) to show Rey is... noble... I guess?

Remember that even Luke (who I have some problems with as a character) started his journey with more backstory and personality than this. Luke loved the empire and desperately wanted to become a pilot. He was very put out that his aunt and uncle kept saying, "Uh, no, bad idea." Luke was ready to skip town and sign on up for flight academy, he just got distracted by pretty women, er, his sister.

So, Rey is never given a compelling reason to do any of the things she does in the series. Just vague feelings of hero worship. And, of course, the drama over her parents. Just... I feel like Disney took out a hat, put a bunch of pieces of paper with words on them, and drew out the one that said "orphan angst about parents" and said "See, now she's conflicted! What a character!"

So yeah, Rey is your cardboard generic hero who is so generic she's not even a person. She has no hopes, no dreams, no fears, just these vague things we're told as an audience she cares about but never shown in any legitimate manner. Rey likes the resistance and rando droids, Rey imprints on Han Solo as the father she never had, Rey has this thing about her parents, Rey is attracted to Kylo Ren.

And that last one, oh boy that last one. It sold me less on the attraction to Kylo Ren than... oh... I don't know... Palpatine's secret Sith planet of doom. I mean, we all saw it coming, The Last Jedi it was very clear where that was going and then Abrams went for it even harder. But what we had was a series of skype conversations where Rey went from "Gr, you killed my pseudo father!" and Kylo-Ren responding, "Yeah, well he was my real father AND HE WAS SO MEAN" to "Oh Ben, I will fly to you through space and we shall save the galaxy together!"

I am given no reason to believe Rey's change of heart. Han Solo's death just suddenly... doesn't really mean much to her anymore (the man was murdered by his son in cold blood so that his son could feel better about himself). She believes Ben Solo is good now because Luke is a dick (never mind that, no matter what a dick Luke is, Ben Solo still murdered dozens of children and then went on to gleefully massacre his way through the galaxy). We're told there's a Force Dyad, which is um... not this thing the writer's made up because they were too lazy to convince me that Kylo-Ren and Rey would end up together in any organic way.

So, yeah, why does Rey like Kylo-Ren? Because the Force told her too? Because it was somehow all Snoke's fault in a way that's never properly described? (Indeed despite us spending quite a bit of time on Kylo-Ren's decision to remain Kylo-Ren being a very internalized thing) Because we saw him shirtless in yoga pants this one time?

It's bad when that last is actually the most legitimate reason I can think of out of the whole lot.

Now let's go to Kylo-Ren. If Rey is boring and nonsensical then Kylo-Ren is a dumpster fire and non-sensical. The guy reminds me a lot of Commodus from the film "Gladiator", the man is cowardly, vile, and murders his father in despair that his father never will be capable of loving him/passes him over for the throne. Kylo-Ren's murder of Han Solo is extremely similar to the murder of Marcus Aurelius in "Gladiator". Han Solo is a flawed father, trying to make his peace with his son, who approaches him unarmed and Kylo-Ren decides to murder him in order to solidify his place in the dark side.

Only, the films never acknowledge that every action Kylo-Ren takes is horrifying.

We're told "oh, Kylo-Ren exists because evil Snoke corrupted him" but also shown repeatedly that Kylo-Ren chooses the darkest path again and again and again. He "struggles with the light" but I don't see it. His opening scene, he has massacred a village and is torturing a man for information (this is presumably a daily routine for him). In the same film he later tortures Rey for information. He serves on a Death Star which wipes out billions in an instant. He murders his father to feel good about himself. He dresses as a man who was reviled and feared throughout the galaxy, a man who murdered countless children, and a man who dressed the way he did because he was barely hanging onto life, because Kylo-Ren thinks it makes him look like a badass. Think about it, this is like if a fully abled Kylo-Ren is wheeling around in a wheel chair, perfectly capable of walking, because he thinks that Professor X is so cool. Now, replace Professor X with Hitler, this is what the movies gave us.

Yet, the films seem to take it for granted that Kylo-Ren is a redeemable character. He's just lost and misguided, he's really struggling with the light and dark side! They don't just tell us this over and over again (which they do) but also just assume we know it.

And base the entire Reylo pairing off of it. Reylo believed Kylo-Ren could be redeemed, they battle Snoke together, then Kylo-Ren stabs her in the back and continues the assault on the Resistance and asks her to be his Dark Queen (TM). Reylo is shocked and appalled, I'm just wondering what movie she thought she was watching, because that was coming a mile away.

Later, when Kylo-Ren is redeemed, we're never given a reason why it happens. Leia just gives him a nagging, one word, phone call and then Han Solo shows up to go, "Ben, are you going to do the right thing?" and Ben goes, "Mumble, grumble, fine" because there's only an hour left in the last film.

Kylo-Ren, like Rey, is the writers' desperate attempt to create a compelling anti-hero with all the anti-hero sauce we love. They just won't admit they made an overgrown genocidal toddler.

Wow, this turned into why I hate both Rey and Kylo Ren, but, uh, back to the ship. Basically, the films give me 0 reason to ever believe it, and even if I wanted to, even if I said "Alright brain, let's make these characters real people for once", I still wouldn't like it. Because the ship itself is just as flat as the characters. It's spicy but not too spicy bad boy gets together with strong female lead.

I know a lot of people enjoy this, and I won't say it's any less legitimate than any of the weirdness I ship, but I'm not one of them. And the whole thing just makes me go "ugh".

#ask #anon #anti reylo #anti kylo ren #anti rey #anti star wars sequels

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sillydg · 3 years

Text

Unexpected partners in crime

Book: Open Heart, book 2 (Chapter 8, baseball game.)

Ratings : 18+

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x MC (Elisabeth Sarah Hughes (Liz))

Word count: 1700

Summary: During the break of the baseball game, Liz decides it’s time to play a bit dirty and teams up with Tobias while doing so.

A/N: I always loved this scene! But i thought it was missing something. I love the dynamics between Tobias and Liz (My MC) and I hope I did it some justice.

A/N: I'm sorry in advantage for my dirty mind! You will probably see it in al my writings.

A/N: First time ever sharing some fanfiction with the world, so super nervous and if you might read this. Thank you! Thank You! Thank you! You're the best and please share your thoughts.

A/N: So English is NOT my first language. I did the best I could do and used some grammar programs. So forgive me. I’m still learning! Please feedback is always welcome!

A/N: Special thanks to @jerzwriter who inspired me to start writing again. Thanks for all the tips and for being patient with answering my many questions and weird thoughts. Thank you for being such an amazing writer. You are such an inspiration and such a warm soul.

A/N: Please keep in mind that Ethan and Liz know each other's likes and dislikes. Neither of them feels obligated or is afraid to speak his/her mind.

Warnings for this short: Some dirty words, flirting with implied sexual motivations, it gets just a bit rough at the end, a bit implied smut, (Please, if I forget a warning, please do warn me! I’m not really familiar with all the terms yet). Do not read this if you’re under 18.

A/N: Characters and some dialogue owned by Pixelberry.

Unexpected partners in crime.

The Umpire blows her whistle. “Well time for a break, everyone! We’ll start again in thirty minutes.”

Elisabeth walks towards the coolers, stalled out at the edge of the field. They are filled with some cold beers and bottles of water. Even though she definitely could use a cold one right now, she decides to play it safe.

She grabs a bottle of water and gulps it down, before grabbing seconds. Opening her bottle she sits down onto one of the benches in the dug-out and relaxes a bit.

She let her gaze drift over the field and thought about how happy she was that she was able to practice a little bit last night with the guys, because, damn she just pitched the shit out of Kenmore.

Her gaze drifts off to Ethan, who is talking to Naveen and she feels a pang in her chest. The fact that he was here to play, just because she asked, gave her heart a sparkle of hope. She sighs. Maybe she was reading into it too much, though.

“Keeping your head in the game, huh? I can get behind that.”

Elisabeth snaps out of her thoughts and looks straight into the eyes of Tobias.

“Huh, what?”

Tobias bumps his waterbottle into hers. ‘Cheers, dear. So, may I sit down, Liz? Or should I leave you and you’re thoughts alone?”

She starts to chuckle “Since when do you need my permission to do anything, Carrick?”

He moves his hand to his heart. “Ooh, just my last name. That stings a little. So severe.”

“Well, I’m not making the mistake of getting cocky or sloppy around you again, Carrick. So you’re surname and water it is.”

“Well, then it is a good thing that I’m open for suggestions when it comes to other mistakes you could make around me. Or with me. Or under me. Or..”

Liz lets out a snort. “I get the idea, Carrick. Wasn’t that position already filled in by June, anyway?”

A surprising look appears on Tobias's face. “She told you about that?”

Liz shrugs casually. “Nah, I suspected it. But it's good to know that my observant skills are spot on as usual. Which means you need to up you’re game if you want to hide things from me, Carrick.”

And she gives his leg a playful smack.

Tobias starts to laughs; “Ouch" He rubs his hand dramatically over his leg.

"I thought this was merely a mental fight, Liz. Don't get me wrong, I love a good spank, but maybe we should do that in a more private setting next time. So, you getting psychical with me is strike two. Strike three is out.”

Liz cocks up an eyebrow and she laughs.

“Well, you know better than anyone else what happens when you reach strike three right? It was about thirty minutes ago when I heard a certain umpire say 'Three strikes, you're out', followed by a pissed-off look on that handsome face of yours. God, I kicked your ass so hard."

Tobias bounces his shoulder into hers. “Aaaaand that’s strike three, miss. Kicking a man when he is down. Damn, that’s low. Though I like the fact that you just called me handsome. I wonder what Ethan would think of that.”

Liz frowns her brow. “Ethan?” And she follows Tobias's gaze towards the field. Ethan was still talking to Naveen but was clearly distracted at the sight of them sitting together. Even from this distance, she could see the annoyance on his face.

Tobias smirks and moves his head back towards Liz “So, I guess the position of making mistakes with you, is also taken?”

Liz starts to laugh. A little bit surprised by her own reaction, she bumps her shoulder into Tobias's.

“That wasn’t an answer to my question, dear.”

“Well, maybe I’m the smart one of the two of us, Carrick. I like to play my cards close to my chest.”

Tobias starts laughing. “That might be so, dear, but I don’t think Ethan is going to be that smart when he looks all flustered like that.” He nods towards the field and she sees Ethan stomping towards them.

Liz, not sure what to do, stands up and Tobias follows her example with the biggest smirk she has ever seen. She takes a good look at him, captivated by his smile as she notices a mischief twinkle in his eyes. He leans forward and whispers in her ear. “Let’s see how far we can take this, shall we?”

Liz starts smiling. This was such a bad idea. But was it that bad though? When Ethan returned from the Amazon, he made it very clear that they could never be anything more than a boss and his employee.

But his pushing and pulling over the past few months showed otherwise. He is not fighting fair, so why should she? This could be her chance to stir things up a little. And Tobias might be just the right person to push his buttons with.

Ethan's pace was quick and firm as he was clearly not amused.

Tobias puts on a broad smile. “Ethan, how nice of you to join us.” He drapes his arm casually overLiz's shoulders. "We were just talking about you."

Ethan moves his attention directly to Liz. “Are you all right? Is this man bothering you? Because I’m happy to show him the door.”

His gaze flickers between her face and the arm of Tobias still resting on her shoulders.

Liz feels her heart pounding. Is she really going to do this?

“Actually, I think I just showed everyone, including Tobias here, that I can kick his ass very well myself. So,no need to rescue me, Dr. Ramsey.”

Tobias grins at her words. “Still ouch, Liz.”

Liz gives him a shove with her elbow.

Ethan was clearly not pleased with this little gesture of teasing and she sees his fists clenching.

Gaining some confidence, she looks him straight in the eye and bats her eyelashes innocently at him.

“Actually, Tobias and I were just talking about a position that’s going to be available very soon. And to be honest, it sounds very appealing.”

Tobias tries to keep a straight face, but it's getting harder and harder as the look on Ethan's face grows sterner with every word she says. Where has this woman been all his life?

Ethan eyes both of them suspiciously. “Right. A position? Rookie. Are you thinking about leaving Edenbrook?”

She felt a shiver running down her spine at the strict tone of his voice. She recognizes it as a clear warning. One she usually listens to. Usually.

“Well, no. It’s not the kind of position that would compromise my work at Edenbrook. It going to be easy to combine with the diagnostic team. So, as my boss, and only my boss, there is nothing to worry about.”

His brow furrowed, head-turning even more red, when the real meaning of her words downs on him.

Ethan deepens his voice. “So I see, Elisabeth, it’s going to be some late-night research. At Kenmore's.”

Tobias is still eying both oft hem. He smirks and enjoys the show. Damn, this woman got some balls.

Liz catches Ethan’s eyesand she sees his jaw tighten. He never calls her by her full first name. This was clearly his last warning.

She tries to ignore the weak feeling in her knees. It’s too late to back out now. She straightens her back and tries to answer as casually as possible.

“Well yeah, you know how these things work. It might take a few all-nighters to figure out what kind of techniques we can use for the best results, maybe some adjusting here and there. Later on, maybe extend the research a little bit to other areas. Fine-tuning is important, but it’s always exciting to experiment a bit, you know? But let's not get ahead of ourselves, right Tobias?”

She keeps ahold of Ethan's gaze. Doctor 'always calm and collected' is clearly having a hard time keeping his actual cool.

Is he jealous?

Is he seriously jealous right now?

Tobias, who also notices the struggle on Ethan’s face, decides to give the last push. He pulls Liz close and moves her face towards his with a finger. “Actually, Liz, if you got the time, I would like to discuss some terms with you. We have still twenty minutes before the game starts and I know a quiet place where we can..”

At that moment Liz feels a hand tighten around her wrist, pulling her out of the embrace of Tobias. Her eyes meet Ethans again and she can see a fire burning.

“Not going to happen,Carrick.” His voice is low and strict.

He now grabs Liz’s hand and drags her away from the duck-out.

“Ehm, Ethan?”

“You’re not listening to me, Elisabeth Sarah Hughes.”

Oh, I’m in trouble alright.

She looks back at Tobias whose smirking and sticking up his thumb.

Ethan leads her towards the clubhouse, which is practically abandoned until the game is over, and moves her towards the dressing room.

He starts to undress and even though Liz enjoys the show, she is still not sure what’s going on.

“Ethan?”

He pulls his shirt over his head and throws it in the corner.

“Uhm Ethan?”

He drops his pants onto the floor.

“Dr. Ethan Jonah Ramsey.”

Ethan freezes with his hands on his underwear, ready to take them off.

His eyes snap up and he drops his boxer. Then he turns around disappears into the shower area.

“You coming, Rookie? We only have ten minutes left and I believe I have a position to apply for. "

Liz is stunned.

What just happened?

The sound of running water breaks the silence.

Liz snaps out of her thoughts and she starts to undress.

“I hope you’ve came prepared, I’m known for my high demands.”

“Rookie. I can only show you if you get in here! And believe me. I have no intention of leaving you unsatisfied.”

Her head snaps up at his last comment.

“Coming!”

And with a smirk, she disappears into the shower.

----------------------

Permatag: @jerzwriter @openheartfanfics @choicesficwriterscreations

#ethan x mc #ethan ramsey #tobias carrick #open heart #choices

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maxwell-grant · 3 years

Note

Thoughts on the Shadow's Doppelganger, Lamont Cranston

The funny thing about Cranston in the original stories is that, yeah, one of the most famous scenes across all Shadow media is the “Lamont Cranston Talks to Himself” chapter in The Shadow Laughs, where we learn that The Shadow is not Lamont Cranston, but has usurped his identity, and now shows up at his bedside looking like him, talking like him, knowing more about his own life than he himself does, and ordering him to leave town, effectively blackmailing him into letting him use his face. It’s a very iconic scene that exemplifies a lot of what makes The Shadow unique as a character, and you can imagine why so many adaptations have gone with the idea of Cranston being either a hapless stooge bullied into submission, or an actual villain, because that whole scene is very much a horror movie scenario.

Thing is, none of them seem to remember how Cranston and The Shadow’s relationship developed past this. I’ll post this excerpt from Atoms of Death:

"Good morning, Cranston," came a quiet tone from the foot of the bed.

"Good morning, yourself," returned Cranston, rubbing his eyes without noticing the visitor.

"You should say: Good morning, myself," chuckled The Shadow, dryly.

Cranston was pulling down the sleeves of his pajama jacket. He sat bolt upright, staring. Then a slow smile showed on his lips; one that was almost a replica of The Shadow's.

"So it's you," remarked Cranston, sleepily. "Well, I knew that last night. It was about time we crossed paths again. Well, old man, you landed me in for plenty this trip."

Cranston shoved bedclothes aside and perched on the edge of the bed. He found cigarettes on the telephone table; The Shadow supplied a flame from a lighter before Cranston could ignite a match. The millionaire noted that The Shadow's lighter bore the initials "L. C."

"You handle every detail, don't you?" questioned Cranston in admiration. “Jove! I remember the first time I met you. In this very room. You dropped cloak and hat and left me looking at my own face as plainly as if I had seen it in a mirror. Just as it is today."

"And I advised you," recalled The Shadow, in Cranston's own tone, "to take a trip abroad, while I used your identity. You were a bit exasperated at first."

"I must admit that I was. I threatened to have you arrested, as an impostor, until you proved that you knew more about my affairs than I did. I really believe that if it had come to a showdown, I would have been proven the impostor and you the genuine Lamont Cranston. Jove!"

"Jove," repeated The Shadow, quietly, "You have acquired that expression recently, Cranston. I shall remember it for future reference. You have a penchant for acquiring anglicisms during your sojourns in British colonies. Jove!"

"Bounder and blighter," laughed Cranston. "Don't forget those. I still use them occasionally."

Or this excerpt from The Hydra, which is an incredible book where the chemistry between the two really shines:

Lamont Cranston woke up and wondered why his head still whirled. It took him about half a minute to learn that the motion came from the fact he was riding in his limousine. Someone must have put him back in the limousine and Stanley was driving him home.

He didn't have to guess who had helped him on his way, for at that moment Cranston heard a low-toned laugh beside him. He turned to see the black-cloaked figure of The Shadow.

"What did you hit me with?" asked Cranston. "All four of your automatics?"

"I'm only carrying a pair tonight," replied The Shadow

Look at these two dorks, just palling around and getting into shenanigans and The Shadow outright joking around Cranston, like they are just two old chums having a laugh at the weirdness of their lives. The “real” Cranston didn’t show up very often in the original stories, especially in the last stories when Lamont Cranston essentially became the real identity of The Shadow, but when he did, part of what makes him stand out as his own character is that he’s funny. Gibson gets a lot of mileage out of Cranston as this guy who is completely nonchalant and chill about all the weird shit that happens to him, even in The Hydra after he kills a man with an elephant gun, he’s still more or less the same, he largely just walks out of it with a newfound realization.

Relieving Cranston of the elephant gun, The Shadow steered his friend into the closet. Hauling the big weapon with him, The Shadow opened the door to meet and dismiss arriving servants who had dashed upstairs when they felt the house quake.

"Whenever I see this gun," began Cranston, coming from the closet, "I'll remember what I did with it -"

“Quite right," interposed The Shadow approvingly. "What you did to Mance will make amends for any elephants you may have killed. Too bad Mance didn't bring along a few more Hydra Heads.”

Slowly, understanding dawned on Cranston. He'd never compared his big-game hunts with The Shadow's quests for men of crime. He felt that The Shadow's cause was justified, but it had seemed outside the field of sport. It still was, but Cranston, now that he had dealt with a murderer who deserved to die, was realizing that his game hunts were more deserving of rebuke.

His encounters with The Shadow gradually changed Cranston from a useless millionaire wasting his resources and talents on idle pursuits, to...still largely a useless millionaire, except his resources and talents are no longer wasted and he’s gradually grown into a useful ally and friend to The Shadow. The Shadow tends to have that effect on people who work by his side and even Cranston, the guy whose main role in his organization is to just stay away and be useless somewhere else, can’t help but change a little into a better person when he appears.

There’s an interesting article written by Bob Sampson called “The Third Shadow” which refers to the Bruce Elliot run of The Shadow Magazine, which is incredibly maligned by fans and not without reason, the stories all largely suck and the Shadow bears little resemblance to his former self, instead mostly feeling like a diet take on the radio show Lamont, more of an average detective. The theory Sampson puts out is that, during this period, it was actually Lamont Cranston who became active as The Shadow while Allard was busy overseas, and I definitely like this theory. It makes sense specially considering The Hydra sets up for Cranston to become more pro-active and serious:

While not the towering master-mind of Allard, he does become the next best thing: A post-war sleuth. He even indulges in wearing the cloak and slouch hat from time to time (to varying degrees of effectiveness), while trying to laugh like Allard (also to varying degrees of effectiveness) as if to fulfill that forbidden fantasy until he finally gets it out of his system. After all, The Shadow pretended to be him, why not the other way around?

As Bob Sampson put it: “It is always Cranston who explains all and takes the credit”.

Probably very cathartic for Lamont, who for the last 18 years was relegated to being a distant supporting player in his own life. Cranston is still in contact with the agents however. He even receives "assignments" from Burbank.

This entire arrangement could only be with The Shadow's tacit approval. Let us remember, Cranston was not merely some insipid fop. He certainly had done his own share of exploring and was indeed a hunter. He could handle a variety of firearms, was familiar with exotic peoples and their customs, knew how to stalk dangerous animals through the jungle and veldt, but he was not, nor ever claimed to be, a master secret-agent and soldier.

I think it is fitting that the writing is completely different for this period as well. Not the enigmatic journalistic style of Allards exploits, but the witty, modern champagne fizz of Cranston's odyssey in a Post-War world. He feels a full range of emotions. In the Gibson stories, The Shadow is at arms length. In the Elliott stories, Cranston is sitting right next to you on a train or an airplane or roadster.

It’s also interesting to consider how Lamont Cranston has basically become the true name of The Shadow in pop culture. Often times it’s the name people use when they specifically want to reference The Shadow, the supposed “Ghost of Gay Street” hauntings in Gibson’s former apartment took the form of Lamont Cranston, and even in the stories, more and more people became aware of it as the years went by (which also helps reinforce the idea that the “real” Cranston eventually took to acting as a fill-in for The Shadow, to draw attention away from the real Shadow’s operations), and Gibson even mentioned a few times that Cranston was The Shadow’s “favorite” identity along with Arnaud. Which is kinda fascinating to think about and does hint at some weird underlying aspects of The Shadow’s psyche, that his favorite identity is one not his own.

And at last, there’s these passages from The Whispering Eyes, a book that does not mention Allard once, and the very last Shadow novel:

From beneath the seat he was taking his black garb. Cloaked and hatted as he stepped from the cab, Cranston merged immediately with the darkness. He had become The Shadow.

Cranston's switch to his other self could well be attributed to a hypnotic mood. The mental lapses produced through hypnosis were the sort that would often cause a subject to revert to habit. Now, as The Shadow, Cranston was still in what might be termed a haphazard mood. He was skirting through darkness, pausing, changing direction, behaving generally as though avoiding something that did not exist.

Lang had flung away his glasses; his eyes now showed the shining, hypnotic force that the lenses normally softened. He recognized the eyes that met his above a leveled gun muzzle.

The Shadow's eyes, yet strangely Cranston's, for this was one time The Shadow did not care to disguise them.

Which begs the question: Did Cranston succeed in fully becoming The Shadow? Or did The Shadow succeed in fully becoming Cranston?

#replies tag #pulp heroes #pulp fiction #the shadow #lamont cranston

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kpoppwriter · 4 years

Text

His Prize

Genre: Mafia AU

Words: 1.1k+

Warnings: character death, torture, guns, yandere themes, swearing/language

Synopsis: “Shall we do this the easy way or the hard way?” Jeonghan asked. You spat right on his face, your saliva landing on his cheek. “Go to hell.”

A/N: you asked and I delivered! (hopefully) here’s some Villain Jeonghan for all your evil Jeonghan needs! I’d love to talk more about this story I’ve built in my head so feel free to hmu if ya wanna chat about Villain!Jeonghan more!

Edit: I changed the gif because @naminalati said this would be a perfect gif and I wholeheartedly agree

His smile was was soft, welcoming. His eyes showed the same compassion as his smile did, like you were a child or a lost kitten that needed to be protected. His touch was delicate, his skin barely ghosting over yours. He always treated you with such care and love. It made you sick. He made you sick.

You should’ve listened to your brother better. He was always so smart and you were always so...clumsy. So so clumsy. He would often scold you and tell you to be more careful, that one day your clumsiness was going to be the death of you. Little did he know...

“Y/N!”

Your brother Wonwoo pulled you out of your daze with a shout of your name. You shook your head, clearing away your distracting thoughts.

“I’m going out again tonight. Do you have money for food?” he asked

“You act like we’re still kids Woo,” you laughed, “I am an adult who can take care of myself.”

He eyed you for a moment before sighing, knowing you were right.

“You also don’t have to say ‘you’re going out’. I know what you’re doing.”

Wonwoo hated that you knew about his job. He was ashamed that he worked as a hitman for one of the biggest mafias in Korea but it kept both you and him safe. Your father wasn’t the best man and he put you and Wonwoo into a lot of trouble so when he finally died, you needed protection. Wonwoo made a deal that protected you and him but he basically traded his life for it.

“Yeah,” he sighed, “I’m not sure when I’ll be home. Don’t wait up for me.”

To say you were nervous was an understatement. You were beyond nervous. Wonwoo never brought you into the whole mafia life but here you were walking right into the lions den of the big boss himself. The boss, Jeonghan was his name, had actually asked to meet you. The whole way there was tense. Wonwoo knew something was up. He knew how tricky Jeonghan could be. He did not trust this little “meeting” at all.

You stared at the elaborate decor that decorated the halls. Golden picture frames held beautiful paintings that filled the walls like a large mural. The mahogany floors were covered with beautiful rugs that looked like they were right out of a 17th century palace. This whole place felt like a palace itself. You finally arrived to a large room filled with many people that you did not recognize sitting at a long table.

“Ah, there you are.”

You saw a tall man dressed in a very nice suit stand up from the far end of the table. All the chatter in the room died down quickly.

“So this is the wonderful Y/N I keep hearing about,” the man said

“What do you want Jeonghan?” Wonwoo said rather pointedly

“What? Am I not allowed to meet my newest hitman?”

“What are you-”

“You left some unfinished business behind on your last mission.”

Jeonghan slowly walked over to where you and Wonwoo stood, his eyes glued to you. There was something wanting about how he looked at you. Something hungry. You were actually surprised with how young he seemed. Yes, he looked mature but he was younger than you expected a mafia boss to be.

“I had to send Channie out to clean up your mess and you know how I feel about sending the baby out.”

Jeonghan stood in front of you. He tucked a stray hair behind your ear. He was so delicate with you. After a moment, he pulled a gun from his back and shot Wonwoo in the chest. His body fell to the ground with a hard thud. Blood covered his shirt within seconds. You were still in shock as you stared at the body, the sound of the gun shot still ringing in your ears. You fell to your knees , tears streaming down your face. You frantically tried to stop the bleeding with your hands but you knew it wasn’t going to help. His chest wasn’t moving at all. He was gone.

“What the fuck did you just do?! Why did you shoot him?!” you yelled

“He was a hinderance to me, to my plans.”

Jeonghan hummed nonchalantly as he walked back to the table as if he didn’t just shoot your brother in front of you.

“Are you kidding me right now?”

A fire was lit inside you. You were angry, no, furious. You stood up and quickly made your way to Jeonghan. He was turned away from you but he knew you were there. With a quick wave of his hand, two of the men in the room grabbed onto your arms effectively stopping you from going any closer to him.

“Let go of me!!” you screamed

“There’s no need to be so loud, Y/N,” Jeonghan tisked, “You’ll just be hurting yourself more by struggling.”

Jeonghan turned to face you, a cocky smile on his face.

“Shall we do this the easy way or the hard way?”

You spat right on his face, your saliva landing on his cheek.

“Go to hell.”

“I see,” Jeonghan clenched his jaw as he wiped your spit off his face, “The hard way it is.”

That was the last thing you remember before you blacked out.

It was dark and damp. There was a little bit of light illuminating a door. The only door you could see. You were cold. And very weak. You wanted to just let sleep take you again. Your eyes fluttered shut. You didn’t know how long you’d been in here. It could be hours, days, weeks for all you knew. Time just seemed to blur together.

The door opened slowly with a low creaking noise. You didn’t hear the door close but you did hear the lock clicking into place. A pair of footsteps approached you. You gathered up as much strength as you could muster and lifted your head.

“Ah, you are awake,” Jeonghan smiled

“Get away from me,” you breathed

You tried to get up but realized you were still shackled to the chair beneath you. Jeonghan let out a chuckle.

“You’re quite the fighter,” he hummed

“Why am I here?” you asked, “Do you usually play with your prey before you kill them?”

“Prey? No no no Y/N,” he cooed, “You’ve got it all wrong.”

He cupped your cheek, grabbing onto your jaw when you tried to pull your face away from his touch. His thumb gently stroked your cheek.

“You’ve always been a prize, a reward even,” he hummed

He let go of your jaw, letting your head fall forward. He slowly walked behind you. He placed his hands on your shoulders, his fingers gently massaging your tense muscles. You felt his hot breath on the shell of your ear.

“My sweet Y/N. I just want to protect you.”

#kpop #kpop blog #kpop writing blog #seventeen #seventeen headcanon #seventeen headcanons #seventeen reactions #seventeen reaction #seventeen scenarios #seventeen scenario #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #seventeen angst #seventeen au #seventeen mafia au #seventeen jeonghan

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babiesdreams · 4 years

Text

Mirrors

This is a part 1 from a serie, I hope you all like it and my intention is to keep introducing members in the story, so please leave feedback about who else do you want to see in here.

Characters: fem! reader, Doyoung, Jaehyun, Taeyong.

Warnings: It gets a little angst at some point but it isn´t too heavy.

Word count: 4000

“Doyoung, an nct former member, is taking a hiatus from his career as he's dealing with anxiety. Nctzens must really support him during this time as he really needs support” The Tv was loudly announcing the gossip news.

“So another idol” you thought. Definitely being an idol must be hard and everything, dealing with all the sasaengs, the media, the pressure. You understood their feelings but there must be something else. It's not like you know a lot about these boys, but you know they are famous, cool and a good support for their fans, so they might be good people.

Your mind wanders at the different outcomes of your plan. You never tried this before, not with a famous person, not with an idol you didn't even know. But maybe he needed it so… Why not?

You searched for information, multiple photos until you memorized his face, his name, age, you even listened to some of their songs. You got everything ready and looked up for the hour in Seoul, it was 4 AM there. Perfect for your plan. You looked at your phone, to see what hour was in your town. 5 PM, you managed to see.

Okay so, not too bad, you weren't really sleepy but you could get to it. You laid on your bed, put on some music with your headphones and closed your eyes. You pictured the boy´s face right in front of you, searching for him. Eventually, you found him and went his way inside your dark mind. You were unsure if it worked as you never tried with an unknown person before, but you trusted your abilities and just hoped for the best.

“Kim Doyoung” you called him in the empty dark space you were in at the moment. You couldn't hear or see anything for a while, until you heard footsteps coming your way.

“Who are you?” The boy said from the distance, completely inserted in the dark.

It started getting really cold there, you felt as cold as if it was snowing, or you were inserted in an iced lake of some sort.

“I´m here to help you. Are you Kim Doyoung?” You screamed as if attempting to make him hear you from the distance.

“Who are you?” He said getting closer to you, until you could finally recognize his face.

“I´m Y/N, I came here so I could help you” you said getting closer to greet him.

“Where is this place?” He said, confused looking around.

“Well I don´t know, you tell me, It's your dream” You said smiling at him.

“My dream?” He said even more confused.

“Yes, I came here to help you with your problems, I'm a dream traveler. I have the natural ability to get myself into others’ dreams and also control them. Cool right?” You explained, feeling proud of your abilities all of a sudden.

“That doesn't make sense” He said shaking his head.

“Yeah, maybe it doesn't. Shall we go somewhere else? “You said, picturing a beautiful empty beach at night, and as you pictured it, it appeared “Do you like this or…?” You said now looking at Doyoung´s shocking expression.

“Wait, How did you do that?” He said, curiously looking around as he walked through the beach, feeling the sand under his feet as he walked “This feels very real” He said, now grabbing a handful of sand letting it out of his fist slowly.

“That’s how dreams feel dummy” You say as if it were obvious. You started walking through the dark beach, hypnotized by the moonlight. It somehow had the same feeling as the previous empty black space you woke up in.

You turn to look at Doyoung, the boy is looking confused as he tries to understand and process everything.

And then, everything changes, both of you are in a nice cozy house, in the middle of the living room, with comfortable clothes that could perfectly be a pajama. You look around, the walls are a nice shade of light pink, making this room contrast the two previous scenarios you both went through. There's a big beige sofa resting on the wall, in front of it a cute coffee table full of small decorations and some plants. Further away, you can see a dining table, all set, with a cute centerpiece and five chairs matching the wood of the table.

You look at Doyoung again as he sits on the big sofa and you do the same, a couple of meters away, giving him space. You now imagine, he created this scenario, probably thinking of some old house, or maybe his actual living room. You get lost in his eyes as he starts talking about something that you don't even get to hear.

“So what is it?” He says, bringing you back to reality. You blink twice as you try to focus on his question. “Sorry, I didn't get that” You say looking down, ashamed of your behaviour. But, could you really blame yourself, I mean, you’ve seen a lot of handsome boys before, but he was different for sure. Maybe it was his perfectly parted dark hair, maybe his dark eyes, looking right through you, or maybe it was his personality that had you going this way.

He sighed, as he had to repeat everything he just said. “Who do you work for?” He summarized. “Um..” You looked away. Your mind was working really hard, nobody ever asked you this. Should you pretend you are some kind of strange creature so that he doesn't look for you? Should you just tell the truth? What even was the truth?. You were confused as to what to say or do, but he thought you were just trying to hide something. “You can't tell me right? Maybe they're watching us” You just nodded, following his crazy theory, hoping for the best.

“So you definitely are not human, I mean no human can do this. Or maybe you are just a product of my imagination” He says to himself as he tries to understand everything. “I’m real, I mean, I have control of my own actions and words” You say trying to help him clear his confusion, but your words sound like a challenge to him. He focuses hard and you can actually tell he's trying to control your actions, but he just gives up after a while.

You sigh, cause nothing is going as planned. “Doyoung, we can talk about your problems, I'm here for that reason. And trust me, no one is watching us.” You say trying to clear things up a little bit. But Doyoung just looks at you, waiting for answers, answers that you are not willing to give.

After a long couple of minutes of your eyes meeting and exploring the other’s, the scenario starts changing again, and you both appear in a black room, full of mirrors pointing at all directions, making it hard to know the limits of the space. You can hear Doyoung´s footsteps in the distance, but you can't get to reach him with your eyes, as the confusing view makes your mind blurry.

You start getting anxious, feeling completely useless and judged as you see your reflection everywhere you look. All the mirrors turn slowly, pointing at your direction. Tears start forming on your eyes, and you are not able to stop them from falling down your cheeks. But then something clicks on your mind, making you realize how you could change the scenarion in your advantage, yrt you weren’t exactly stong at the moment. You concentrate as best as you can, trying to avoid the anxious thought going around your mind. You let out a loud scream breaking all the mirrors around you. The broken glass pieces reveal Doyoung´s figure standing right in front of you.

You now allow yourself to be weak, and vulnerable, falling on your knees while you let your tears drip down endlessly, not even bothered to make them stop. You notice the boy’s gaze fixed on you, and you can tell he feels guilty of your state. But probably, he didn't even intend to do this, as this was just a part of his mind.

You get up slowly, getting yourself together. Doyoung’s voice sounds distant, as your mind is not fully able to keep going. “I’m sorry, I always, fuck things up like this” You notice by the sound of his words how he’s also crying, getting to the place you’ve been looking for since the beggining.

However, before you can bring yourself up to say something, you see a light coming out of the end of the space you both were in, and you just knew. He’s waking up. You imagine an empty white door frame, making it appear in the distance. The door frame and its content, are a light source to the room, making the near zones glow up around it.

“I really have to go” You say running towards the door frame. Yet, when your feet are almost crossing the clowing exit, It vanishes. You turn yourself looking at Doyoung’s expression as you hear his low voice again “Don’t go”

“I will come back, Doyoung, I promise, I just… I have to go now” You picture a new door frame right next to you, allowing your hands to get through it, finally.

You wake up breathing heavily, feeling cold sweat falling from your forehead and you try your best to calm down. That dream was intense, and that boy was definitely intense. You calm down slowly, trying to figure out the meaning the room full of mirrors. “Maybe he's judgemental” You think to yourself. And just like that, you spend the rest of the night looking for answers so that you could help him once you come back.

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Doyoung wakes up as an intense light comes into his room. Normally he's a morning person but not today for sure. He wakes up angrily as he couldn’t discover much about you and got a bitter aftertaste of his dream experience. “There's no way she's real” He thinks to himself while his body comes out of the bed slowly. His mind is still trapped within his dreams, not wanting to let go of the memory of your presence.

“She's way too perfect” He thinks now under the hot feeling of the water running through his body as he takes a shower.

The hours keep passing by and he can't stop his mind from playing the moments he experienced while dreaming last night. He desperately wanted you to come back, he wanted to see you again, touch you again, just feel you around him. He wasn't in his right mind and anyone could notice that. He was continuously spacing out, not listening, walking around, laying down doing pretty much nothing… So it was no surprise when Taeyong sat down with him to check out what was wrong.

“Are you feeling worse Doyoung? We can call a therapist if you need to” He says in a calmed tone looking at Doyoung with sweet eyes. “I´m okay, I just need to rest” He says without looking at him. “Doyoung” Taeyong says in a far more serious tone now, forcing Doyoung´s eyes to rest on him. “I know it can get hard sometimes, but you can talk to me about whatever you need. I won't judge you in any way okay?” The sound of his words create a relaxing atmosphere in the room, making Doyoung feel a bit guilty about his behaviour. “I will talk to you when I figure this out, hyung, I promise” He just says smiling at the boy, wanting desperately to make him feel less worried. Taeyong just smiles and nods, patting Doyoung´s head before leaving the room.

It was for sure, one of the things that haunted Doyoung, how worried Taeyong would get about his health. Of course, he understood that it was concerning to see a friend like that, but he didn't want to hurt any of his friends with his own problems. He was afraid he would hurt them as well, or even worse, be judged by them. He kept thinking about the mirrors, how he saw his own reflexion on them, how he fought back the anxiety growing inside of him. How you were completely destroyed, crying out loud on the floor, surrounded by tiny broken mirror pieces, how you stepped on them and didn't even realize the pain. “She's never coming back” A thought passed through his mind, invading his whole body.

Why would you come back? So that he would hurt you again? Why were you there in the first place? Maybe just work, probably forced by some boss or something. There's no way you would actually care for him, you didn't even know him. Or maybe you did know him. Maybe you were a fan. Was that the reason you were acting like that to him? Were you there just to fulfill one of your fantasies? And how even did you get inside his own dreams? How did you control his subconscious mind? Why couldn´t he control your actions? He really tried hard to.

There were far too many questions and yet no easy answers. He laid down on his bed, defeated. His mind had been working hard all day long, and yet he didn't even know what was happening. At least, this was distracting himself of his normal, self-destructive thoughts. Maybe it really was a mechanism his own mind made up for him to calm down and forget about his intrusive thoughts.

While he let his mind wander around different thoughts, he started falling asleep on top of his bed, unable to control it.

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It could be. It was not that he judged others, but his mind judging himself. It was written in the way the mirrors pointed at him from the beginning. It was your own mind that turned them to look at you. But, What was he judging about himself? He's pretty much perfect. It really doesn't make sense to you.

You lift your head, realizing it's already afternoon. You think to yourself you still got some time to figure things out. But then you realize, he's in Seoul. They don't have the same schedule and you are, pretty much fucked up. You look at the clock on your phone, It’s 4 pm, one hour earlier than yesterday. You got it. You can definitely do it again. Right? Well you hope so, you promised it. He's probably waiting for you. “Fuck” You say to yourself.

You lay down on bed as fast as you can, play some music, the same way you did the day before, and try relaxing. You start picturing Doyoung´s perfect features in front of you, you even imagine his scent, or at least the one you got to smell on his dream. And you start falling asleep, traveling through your mind, looking for the boy´s dream. It's not as easy as the first time, but you get to it in the end. It's so different compared to yesterday's scenarios.

You find yourself in a cozy little apartment, clean, well decorated, caressing you with a warm welcoming feeling. After looking around, noticing the white walls, the huge kitchen to your left, the parquet floor, the nice painting hanging on the walls, the huge cozy sofa in the middle of the living room, the distant bedroom, the nice little plants placed everywhere; you notice him, waiting, sat down on the couch, with his arms laying on his knees and his hands covering his face.

“Doyoung?” you say, still in your position, too afraid of getting closer to him.

The boy lifts his head, surprised by your voice, looking at you as if he didn't quite believe his eyes. After a whole minute processing the information, he looks away, pretending not to care, a little too late for you to believe it.

“You did come back” He says pressing his back against the couch.

“Sorry about being late, the time zones are really something” You say scratching the back of your head.

“So you are not living in Korea?” He asks tapping the couch in a signal for you to sit next to him.

“Obviously not” You say as you start walking towards the couch, sitting right next to his body and placing your gaze on him.

He chuckles lightly at your expression, just like he could read your mind.

“I'm not mad” He clears out, letting you breathe better and relax for a moment “I am actually sorry, about yesterday, I didn't mean to-”

“It was your subconscious, it's not your fault” you interrupt him, knowing what he was about to say “I´ve been thinking… Is that the way you usually think about yourself?” You ask, even though you are really scared of his reaction.

“Um I guess so” He simply says not really thinking about it, as something else was trapped in his mind. “Can you go into everyone's dreams?” He asks curiously.

You simply nod, not really sure about how true that statement really is. “It's been like that so far” would be a more accurate statement, but you just shut up. There's something about Doyoung that makes you feel like every word you say could break him, just like you did with the mirrors.

“Can you do it then? So that I can trust you” He says looking right into your eyes. You tilt your head, trying to understand just what he was talking about. “I´m famous, that's how you know me right?” You nod, still confused. “So you know all the members right?” You start trying to remember the names you memorized before the first dream, but you don't get to remember any of the 23 names. You curse at yourself how could you have such a bad memory? You shake your head at the boy admitting your lack of memorization abilities.

He sighs, not knowing what to do. “Okay, Jaehyun, he's one of the most popular members nowadays. You must know him” You try your best to remember, sure you have heard his name before, but you couldn't really picture him. Suddenly Doyoung grabs something from his pants’ pocket, showing it to you. It was a photo of the said boy, looking really perfect, which makes you wonder “Are all of them perfect looking?”

“You can go into his dreams, right?” You nod, unsure. “I think so. Jung Jaehyun right?” You say, now remembering some of the information you looked up. “Yes” he says, looking far more interested now. “I have to go in order to do that” You clear up, knowing very well he feared not meeting you again.

“It's fine, Just make sure to let him know he has to tell me about you, okay?” He says hugging you so suddenly that it shocks you. “Good luck” He says before placing a kiss on your forehead. You nod, still shocked by the situation. You make a door frame just like yesterday, so that you can exit. You walk slowly towards it, stopping right before entering. You turn around to look at the boy, who’s now waving at you. You wave your hand back and cross the door frame, exiting the dream as you do.

You wake up on your bed, still confused by the situation. You search for some Jaehyun pictures so that you can imagine him, the same way you do with Doyoung. After a couple of minutes you are ready to insert yourself inside the boy's dream.

This time is way faster, making you think that maybe you are getting better at controlling your abilities.

Without thinking much, you look around, noticing you are in some sort of castle. It looks like a special event, a ball of some sort, everyone around you is dressed like the renaissance french movies you saw from time to time. You look down at your own dress, looking really puffy and heavy and it is, indeed, heavy. You also feel your waist pressured by a corset.

You look up, noticing a big figure in front of your eyes. “I have been waiting for you, princess” Jaehyun says as you look right into his eyes. “I- I have been looking for you” You say confused at the situation.

Jaehyun chuckles lightly, showing his dimples, and you find yourself falling into his charm. “Shall we?” He says offering you a hand letting you know he wants to dance. You notice, just now, his clothes are price-like, really making him look like an ethereal prince.

“Sure” You just say, mesmerized by the view. You don't really know how to dance, not to this kind of music. But his hands guide you through the movements and you don't really think about it. The song keeps playing in the background and you smile at the cute moment you both are sharing.

Just when the song comes to an end, Jaehyun’s body stops abruptly forcing you to follow. He cups your cheeks inside his palms and presses a soft kiss on your lips.

You gasp, making him pull off. “Are you okay?” He asks with a worried expression. “Y-Yes, I just, um…” You can't bring yourself to speak your mind and you just try to look away. It's now that your mind clears out and you remember. “You have to talk with Doyoung, you know him right?” The boy just nods, confused at the sudden hit of reality on his dream. “Talk to him about me. I have to go now” You say realizing a shiny light coming inside the room.

“Will you come back?” Jaehyun says, raising his arm in your direction. “Sure” You say running towards the frame you just created as fast as you possibly can. You end up succeeding, exiting the weird dream fastly.

You wake up on your bed, confused and feeling really weird. You touch your lips with your fingertips, remembering the feeling of Jaehyun’s lips on yours. That's the weird thing about dreams, they are impossible in real life, but they feel just too real.

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Doyoung wakes up, after a while, thinking about how much time you need to succeed at your mission. He's getting anxious, impatient. He just wants to know if this shit is real, he wants to know more about you. What was it on you that made him feel this way? He barely knew you.

He couldn't wait any longer sitting there, like an idiot, he had to find answers. So he got dressed up and walked his way to the boy’s dorm, looking for him anxiously. He finally entered the bedroom, looking at the half-waken boy.

“Hey, Jaehyun, did you sleep well?” Doyoung says sitting on the limit of Jaehyun’s bed. “Um, yeah, I had a pretty weird dream, I was gonna tell you about it” the boy says, in a sleepy tone. “Really?” Doyoung asks intrigued.

“Yes, so okay, I was in this giant palace, and I was the prince, waiting for the princess, and she arrived, a little bit late. But the way she looked, it was enough to forgive her for being late, to even forget she was late. And then I asked her to dance with me, and the way our bodies moved with the music, was just magical” He started explaining, completely immersed in the story.

“You both danced, cool” Doyoung says in a totally uncool tone. “Yes, and when the song finished, I grabbed her face and kissed her. I´m not lying dude, It was the best kiss I ever had in my life, even if it wasn't real” The boy was looking at the ceiling, replaying the dream on his head. “Oh, you guys kissed” Doyoung says, clenching his jaw, in a jealous expression.

“Yes, but she was shocked, I guess she didn't really expect that. And then she asked me if I knew you, which was weird. And she told me to tell you about the dream, that's why I’m, you know, telling you” He says, finally looking at Doyoung’s angry expression. “How did she look like?” Doyoung asks, angry, pissed off, about to explode. “Dude, like a fucking angel, I´m not even kidding” Jaehyun just says making Doyoung get up from the bed and leave the room slaming the door angrily.

She is just playing with me or what? he thinks to himself before stopping abruptly. “What am I even thinking about? I don't even know her, I can't react like this” He keeps repeating this like a mantra all day long, trying to convince himself of those words.

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Masterlist

So this is it babies, I hope you liked this first part and give this serie a lot of support, I´m planning to introduce some smut chapters so please leave feedback

53 notes · View notes

cosmicheromp3 · 5 years

Text

let’s talk about snowbirds don’t fly for a second, shall we: the arc where roy’s addiction was first introduced, and how it actually affected the relationship between roy and ollie.

people’s perception of snowbirds don’t fly and the events surrounding it is so... weird, to the point where it often makes me wonder whether they’ve actually read the comic (and roy’s appearances right after, but i realize those might be less known) or whether they’re just going off a few very specific panels and inaccurate recounts – usually from people that will twist anything in their favour to call ollie a bad guy.

because, if you pieced together what most people seem to think happened – and this is what i was expecting to find once i decided to read it myself –, in snowbirds we should see: roy, not yet an adult and still under the active care of ollie, starts using drugs, and oliver’s so caught up in himself and negligent that he doesn’t notice what’s happening. when he finally finds out, he lashes out, hits roy and kicks him out of the house, leaving roy without a home. this makes their relationship crumble, and roy starts hating ollie because of it. they don’t speak to each other, and leave in awful terms.

and... in many aspects, that’s so far from the events you'll see if you actually go read green lantern #85 (snowbirds don’t fly) and #86 (they say it’ll kill me... but then won’t say when!). i’m assuming a lot of misconceptions happen because of a) writers with a grudge against ollie who retroactively, and unfairly, painted him in a bad light, and people took this at face value, and b) retcons that came with the new 52 reboot – but, i'll be honest, i don’t care enough to go read that mess even for this post. in general, i’m pretty sure we all agree that we ignore out of character comics; let’s not make roy and ollie the exception to that, yeah?

first i want to get something out of the way, that i feel like i need to mention even though there’s probably people that have talked about it better than i could. when we analyze this comic we should keep in mind that the characters in the story were meant to fill specific roles for the sort of... PSA comic that dc was trying to make, and in the 70s, at that. considering this, both roy and ollie are plot devices.

the creative team behind the story (o’neil and adams) have said that they chose roy to be the average “good” teen who fell into drugs – as a way to say “this could happen to anyone, even to this reputable superhero”. ollie was the caring but imperfect parent who missed the signs – not abusive but distant at the moment, he was meant to be more like a nudge to parents to pay closer attention. it was written to play as a sort of “this could happen to the best of us” situation. and in that context, ollie is made to react in a way that is at most "not ideal" for the standards of its time: he hits roy, and denies to himself that roy’s addiction is a real problem that needs to be dealt with delicately. this is used to send the message of “don’t react like this”.

that isn’t exactly the point of this post, and i don’t want to downplay the harm ollie did with his reaction or absolve him of any blame. the point of this post is: people seem to think that’s where the storyline ended, that was ollie’s final reaction, and those are the terms in which ollie and roy parted; which is just not true.

instead, ollie hitting roy happens in the very first page of green lantern #86 – we have an entire issue in which ollie is faced with his initial reaction and made to confront his mistake (which is more than we can say for, um, other father superheroes that have hit their children. i won’t name names.) the only moment you could read as him “kicking roy out” – which is the phrasing i’ve seen applied to this – happens the very next page, where ollie tells roy to “get out”.

the thing is, roy was not living with ollie at the moment. there was nowhere that ollie could kick him out from. “get out” means just that: get out of this room (and ollie didn’t intend anything more than that with his words.) the comic makes a point of stressing that roy is, by that point, independent, and old enough to be living without a guardian.

ollie, right after roy leaves, thinks: “but he shouldn’t need attention–at his age”. ollie is in the wrong here because of his close-minded view of addiction and because he’s not considering that, though a legal adult, roy is still young and needs care, but it still shows that roy was largely on his own by then. ollie’s reaction is definitively negative and a rejection, but can’t in any way be seen as “kicking roy out”, because it isn’t. (note, also, how ollie’s first thought is that he failed roy, but his denial and stubbornness get in the way and he shifts the blame. he’ll eventually have to get over this and change.)

we see that ollie plays the role of the father that reacts poorly, and he is directly contrasted with the adults who do take responsibility for roy – hal at first, and dinah after, are the ones who play the role of “this is how you should react.”

hal finds roy without knowing what happened between him and ollie, and his first reaction is to take roy to a doctor; he immediately recognizes that what roy needs is help – and will later say so to ollie. when roy refuses, saying he wants to kick the addiction on his own – to prove himself to ollie, because even though he doesn’t think ollie was right he still values his opinion and their relationship, but i’d say there’s something he’s trying to prove to himself, too –, hal recognizes that he doesn’t know anything about drug withdrawal or addiction, and he’s receptive to roy, asking him questions and listening without judgement.

so he takes roy to dinah, who is the one that (very kindly, might i add, because dinah and roy weren’t that close at the time) cares for roy while he goes cold turkey. roy, possibly rather unrealistically, though i’m no expert, kicks the addiction in the span of a few pages. before the ending of this arc, roy has already gone clean.

there’s a one week timeskip there, where we assume that out of the characters featured in this story, roy only interacts with dinah, and ollie’s been with hal. then, before the conclusion of this story, roy is given a place to confront ollie and call him out for his mistakes. roy calls him out for turning his back on him, and he gets to tell him – and show him, punching him in a scene where it’s implied that ollie completely deserves it, unlike the opposite situation that this issue started with – about the pain he’s been in. we are given, in text, a moment where roy can express to ollie what he’s been going through, what he did wrong, and how it affected him.

(this is a moment where the intentions of the comic are very clear, not only because roy practically turns to the camera to deliver the PSA, but also because of the wording: roy told ollie that he turned his back on him, and in the same page he talks about society turning its back on drug addicts, same wording twice. ollie and roy are both meant to represent something other than just themselves, even if this happened in continuity and ended up affecting their characters in the long run.)

and ollie – unlike in that first page, now ollie is shown to listen and understand. he’s not in the same place or mindset he was in when everything started. in the beginning, ollie thought that there must be something inherently bad about a person who does drugs, in a reflection of society’s – and parents’ – views of the issue. and that shows in his initial denial and reaction: ‘how could my son, who’s a good person, do this?’ then, in this scene, when roy tells him he beat the addiction, he answers “good boy” – roy immediately rejects this notion, and emphasizes that there’s more to it than his own goodness: what’s important is the help he received, namely from hal and dinah, and a caring environment. ollie, at the very least, begins to understand this, and in doing so understands very clearly what he needs to change about their relationship if he wants roy back.

this means that ollie starts undergoing character development in this one issue alone. the thing about ollie, in regards to his relationship with roy, is that he has made mistakes and the narrative acknowledges it; but, when well written, he realizes and admits it, making a point of learning from his mistakes. roy knows that ollie has fucked up, too, and doesn’t let him off the hook for it, but he also recognizes that he makes an effort to be better. especially after snowbirds, this informs their relationship a lot.

by the end of the issue they’re not hugging, and roy is leaving on his own, but that’s completely of his own accord. and these are the last panels in the entire issue:

the whole original comic, but mostly these panels specifically, is what makes me wonder about people’s perception of these events, and the misconceptions i previously mentioned – because i really am confused as to how you could reconcile these two opposite readings. unless, you know... people are speaking without ever touching the original comic. (i don’t want to blame anyone for not reading older comics, but please, if you’re gonna speak, especially if it’s to shit on a character or call them abusive the way people do with ollie, do it in an informed way.)

so, right after the events of snowbirds, because roy was allowed to speak up and ollie was made to listen, at least as much as can be expected through his stubbornness, they’re in much better terms than people usually think. if you look at roy’s chronology, he interacts with ollie in his next few appearances (barring the teen titans ones), teaming up as they normally would, with the one difference being the emphasis that’s put into the fact that roy has grown away from ollie – in the same way as any young adult would grow away from a parent. there’s also roy’s resentment for ollie’s actions, but this resentment is portrayed as deserved and it doesn’t turn their interactions into something negative. it’s still clear that they both care for each other, and there’s certainly no hate.

[from action comics #436/2]

this first one takes place a few months after roy goes his own way. roy is in the middle of working a case when ollie gets involved, and they work on it together. green lantern #100/2 is their next appearance and has a similar plot, this time with dinah working with them as well. in both of these, they still work well together, are able to communicate in action and have each other’s backs.

in the action comics issue, ollie insists that roy is still welcome by his side, and that he should still feel free to ask for help whenever he needs it. roy refuses in the way that’s shown in the panels above – saying that he needs to “be a loner for a while” and build a life of his own (though it’s not an exact parallel, because ollie is ollie and takes “loner” to a whole other level, the wording here reminds me of the way ollie tends to leave on his own whenever he feels like he needs to find himself). you’ll see that these interactions aren’t hostile at all – quite the opposite.

world’s finest #251/3 might be the one where their interactions are the most tense, and that’s mostly just in the end. when they’re done with the usual superhero team-up, ollie shows willingness to talk to roy:

“i can’t help out. roy’s back, and, well– we’ve got a lot of talking to do.” through these issues, we realize that ollie has learned: his previous mistake was not paying enough attention to roy, and not showing him that he could always count on ollie (both in noticing roy’s addiction, but also before, in not taking enough care so roy wouldn’t get to that point). he tries to make up for it every chance he has, but it’s always on roy’s terms. everyone is aware that ollie is the one who was in the wrong, and it’s up to roy to forgive him or not, but no one ever pressures roy to do so. when roy doesn’t want to stay and talk, ollie accepts it.

ollie atones again and again, and their relationship isn’t magically fixed and they don’t go back to being close without effort – effort which rightfully has to be done, again, mostly on ollie’s part. but they never, ever go so far as to hate each other.

then, in green arrow (1988) #75, ollie feels so bad about what happened between them, about the way he screwed up, he essentially says to roy that he wouldn’t fault him for wanting to shoot him. “so go ahead. god knows, you’ve got plenty of reason.” roy has been brainwashed here; he breaks through it because of ollie’s words.

and, after this whole ordeal is done, this is how they part ways:

by this point, roy already has lian and a life of his own. he’s gone back to being speedy and then arsenal, he’s in the titans again and he will become a renowned hero in his own right. he might have forgiven ollie a long time ago, but now that he has found himself – like he set off to do at first – he seems more prepared to make amends and see where he stands with him (maybe i’m attributing more consistency among these issues, that happen years apart, than we should actually give them credit for, but i can’t help trying to find the common themes.)

after these, which are the most immediate interactions after snowbirds, we have multiple instances of them being close again. it’s in every small moment they have together, really, but off the top of my head, a couple that are illustrative for their relationship are green arrow: the archer’s quest and justice league of america (2006) #7, even though they don’t directly interact in this last one. i was gonna include panels from both, but this is getting long enough; i urge you to read them, especially if you followed along reading the issues i’ve mentioned, because they’re great. what i am gonna include, cause it’s amazing, is this panel from justice league of america wedding special.

in my opinion, these misconceptions around ollie and roy not only are a disservice to their characters but also mean that people are missing out on what i think is a really interesting relationship. it’s almost rare to see a relationship evolve in a way that feels so organic in comics, not only because the interpersonal conflict here is shown to have real, tangible consequences but also because the characters are allowed to grow in a way that is gradual and natural and even satisfying.

ollie and roy's relationship might have never been the exact same after snowbirds – but which father-son relationship stays the same after the son grows up? and i think it's a testament to the strength of their bond that without ever ignoring these events (because, as i’ve shown, they’re very much acknowledged again and again) they not only never stop loving each other, but are also able to keep building something meaningful going forward.

#roy harper #ollie queen #green arrow #dc #dc meta #drug mention //#long post //#i was gonna put this under a read more but u know what. i'm not gonna give u the option to scroll past this. you are forced to read it #not really but u know hgsdhghsj #you'll notice how many times they call each other dad/son in these panels and that wasn't even intentional #not to keep comparing this to u know who but u know who could never

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andrewmoocow · 3 years

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Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 11: In Dreams (originally posted on March 29, 2021)

AN: Hope you all packed your bags dear readers, cause we're gonna go on a real trip. One of my initial ideas for Alternate Future was with the addition as Aquamarine as a more major antagonist, we'd also have a mini-character arc about Peridot blaming herself for Steven's capture at the end of Season 4 even years later, which I felt was kind of a waste of possible character development for the little nacho. Regardless, it's time I finally see it through myself. And trust me, I'm really gonna put Peri through the wringer.

Synopsis: Steven's dream powers start acting up when he and Peridot want to watch TV.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven, Stefan

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Johnny Hawkes as Cookie Cat, Rodrigo

Marieve Hernington as Jasmine

Della Saba as Marine, Aquamarine

The night was dark as Steven strolled through Beach City on his way home after a long day until he heard music. Racing to the beach house, he discovered that colorful flashing lights and loud music were coming from inside the house, and that got him super excited.

"All right!" Steven gasped cheerfully. "Now that I've saved the universe, I finally get to party!" When he raced to his front window, Steven could see all his friends inside dancing the night away. Garnet, Amethyst & Pearl, Lars and the Off-Colors, Lapis, Bismuth & Peridot, Connie, even Onion was breaking it down. Before he could join the fun, however, the door and windows suddenly vanished, leaving behind an empty wooden wall. "Huh? Hey guys, let me in! This isn't funny!"

"STEVEN!" a booming voice echoed from above. When Steven looked up, he discovered that Obsidian's head was replaced with a giant Cookie Cat looking down on him with a taunting grin. "NOBODY NEEDS YOUR HELP! SO WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!"

"What?!" Steven cried before the porch opened up like a trap door under him, forcing the boy to fall through the sky screaming.

"STEVEN! STEVEN!"

A little voice broke Steven out of slumber and back into the real world in his bedroom. "Why do I keep having these dreams?" he mused to himself. "Are they telling me something?"

"STEVEN, OPEN UP!" the voice cried out while pounding on the door.

"Peridot?" Steven began to recognize the green Gem's nasally voice as he walked downstairs and let the former Kindergartener in.

"STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN!" Peridot chanted, beetling in place while holding popcorn and drinks. "Today's the big day! Did you tape the premiere?!"

"What premiere? I have no idea what you're talking about." Steven said coyly.

"But you promised me!" Peridot whined, not realizing that her half-organic friend might be joking.

"Oh, you mean the premiere of the reboot of the classic Great North teen camping drama Camp Pining Hearts that I recorded," Steven revealed as he pulled out a VHS tape. "on this very tape?"

Peridot gasped at the mere mention of the show she had awaited for so long and began squealing excitedly. "Yes, it's finally here!"

"THE RETURN OF CAMP PINING HEARTS!" the pair declared joyfully.

Steven and Peridot raced upstairs to watch the Camp Pining Hearts reboot when Steven realized someone was missing. "Hey, where's Lapis? I thought she was a big fan of CPH as you are."

"Oh, she declined to attend our viewing because she feels this reboot will be an abomination." Peridot answered as she sat down at the foot of Steven's bed. "You know that United Defenders of the World show? She really likes that too, and that's gotten a reboot much like Camp Pining Hearts, but she doesn't like how that is so dark and depressing because apparently, it's more adult. I mean, come on! Can't we go one minute without any intense violence or Mangolin yelling so many nasty wo-"

"What, she's not coming because one show clouds her judgment of another?" Steven rolled his eyes at Peridot's explanation while putting the tape into his VHS player. "That's a little silly. But I'm glad you were still able to come because I've been having these weird dreams lately. Like, are any of them real or-"

"That's not important Steven!" Peridot shut her fellow fan's mouth. "Now press play already you monster!"

Steven chuckled for a bit before he started the tape, and the theme song for the Camp Pining Hearts reboot began to play while two attractive young actors were credited for the roles of its leads, Jasmine and Rodrigo. Steven excitedly ate popcorn while Peridot waved a Great North flag around as the show began.

Fifty-two minutes later, the credits finally rolled, and Steven & Peridot were left stunned, silent, and disappointed.

"L-Lapis warned me, and I didn't listen." Peridot quivered in shock.

"W-what?" Steven added, just as horrified. "What…."

"WHAT HAVE THEY DONE?!" the pair roared in unison.

"What is with that Rodrigo guy?!" Peridot began complaining and clawing at her face. "He has no charisma! He is clearly inferior to the old cast!"

"And can we just talk about the cinematography?" Steven added just as furiously while Peridot got up and marched towards the TV.

"They changed all the characters, and I don't care about any one of them!" Peridot threw a tantrum and began venting by picking up the set & slamming it to the ground. "How could this happen to us?!" she began to cry her eyes out on the television. "Camp Pining Hearts was my escape when I first arrived on Earth, when my whole world was nothing but chaos!"

"CPH brought us all together." Steven comforted his green friend, though he was sobbing as well.

"And now, just look at this nightmare!" Peridot yelled with a hand to the TV screen when it stopped showing the Camp Pining Hearts reboot. Instead, it began playing Steven's dream from last night. "Wait, Steven, when were you ever an actor?"

"What? No, they didn't!" Steven exclaimed as the dream continued on television. "Is this my dreams?" When Steven watched himself fall from the beach house in his dream, the TV then switched back to Camp Pining Hearts. "Whoa! My dream powers must be messing with the TV signal!"

"How in the world is that even possible?!" Peridot raised an eyebrow at this revelation, but it also gave her an idea. "Wait just a second. Steven, you realize what this means?!"

"I should start wearing a tinfoil hat?" Steven asked, unaware of what the little genius had planned.

"No!" Peridot answered. "If we use your dream powers on the TV, we can make our own Camp Pining Hearts! We'll reboot the reboot!"

"Reboot the reboot?" Steven realized and excitedly stood up. "Peridot, you're a genius!"

"I know." Peridot smugly declared.

"Plus, it would be really fun to fix something small this time." Steven said before Peridot wrapped a lime-colored arm around his neck.

"This shall be the beginning of Peridot & Steven Productions!" Peridot triumphantly declared.

"Yeah!" Steven added, and then he fell from Peridot's grasp.

Later that day, Steven and Peridot were now standing in front of a whiteboard detailing all their plans for fixing the Camp Pining Hearts Reboot, bouncing more plans off each other in regards to shipping.

"So Peridot, you think Jasmine's endgame should be Khaz or Rodrigo?" Steven asked Peridot while looking at a web of pictures of the characters from the reboot.

"It seems the characters are trying to railroad us into a Jasrigo relationship, despite turning everyone else into complete jerks just because they don't agree with-" Peridot began, but then she started getting irritated. "Gah, these characters have no chemistry together! It's like they're being shipped just because they're the leading man and woman!"

"Just can't get into Rodrigo, eh?" Steven asked his writing partner.

"He's just so passive and quiet, it's positively irritating!" Peridot yelled. "He has none of the old cast's personalities that made them so memorable!"

"Sure he may be really quiet and soft," Steven assured Peridot. "but what if we try to do something with his social anxiety and peanut allergy despite them not being connected to the larger story, like make him a foil?"

"A foil, you say?" Peridot raised an eyebrow at Steven's idea. "Okay, I'm listening."

"I got it!" Steven declared before he sat down in front of some pencils and paper and began to draw. "I call him Stefan." He began explaining while drawing. "He's a hunky lifeguard friend with nice muscles that everyone likes and wants to hang out with. His popularity is both a blessing and a curse, yet always makes time to help his buddy Rodrigo boost his confidence." He handed his final drawing over to Peridot, which turned out to be a sketch of a more muscular Steven.

"So he's like your self-insert!" Peridot beamed at her friend's work. "I like your ideas, Stefan!"

As night fell, Steven got back into bed with a bowl of chili in his lap while Peridot inserted the tape into the VCR player.

"Uh, why are you eating at bedtime?" Peridot questioned Steven's choice of a bedtime meal.

"Oh, you mean my chili?" Steven replied, gesturing to the chili in his hands. "I read that eating spicy stuff before bed makes your dreams super vivid."

"I appreciate your initiative, fellow creator." Peridot grinned at Steven's idea while he continued eating his chili.

"Thanks, Peridot." Steven thanked Peridot before putting the bowl on his nightstand and tucking himself in. "Okay, good night."

"Good night Steven. But remember," Peridot said as she started whispering into Steven's ear. "action-orientated storytelling."

"Hey Jasmine, I hear you love birds." A tanned, muscular version of Steven said flirtatiously to a cute brown-haired girl examining a bird perched in her hand.

"Sure Stefan." Jasmine giggled cutely.

"Well, a little birdie told me downstream that there's a special island somewhere 'round here." Stefan replied, leaning against a tree and giving Jasmine a wink while pointing offscreen. "I hear it's full of rare specimens."

"Did you hear that?" Jasmine gasped elatedly. "Thank you so much Stefan!" Stefan responded by giving Jasmine another wink.

Meanwhile, Rodrigo was by himself at a campsite reading an instructional book on how to date when Stefan came racing to him.

"Rodrigo, I've got terrible news!" Stefan exclaimed, catching Rodrigo's attention. "Jasmine's in danger!"

"Wait, what?!" Rodrigo did a double-take in response.

"She's headed for that island full of dangerous birds!" Stefan revealed, propping one foot on a rock and dramatically pointing to the river nearby. "But if we go downstream, we can surely save her!"

"Okay Stefan, you're the best!" Rodrigo shouted. "Let's go save Jasmine!"

The pair raced for a pair of canoes docked close to the campsite and began rowing through the river to rescue Jasmine.

"Thanks for telling me Jasmine was in trouble Stefan, you're such a great guy." Rodrigo complimented Stefan.

"You're welcome Rodrigo." Stefan replied gratefully. "You're pretty great yourself, y'know, great enough for Jasmine to like you."

"You really mean it?" Rodrigo asked eagerly.

"I can tell by the way she looks at," Stefan began, but then he started getting sidetracked by Blue Diamond with the body of a dolphin, a gargantuan pineapple with Yellow Diamond's face on it, and a pair of White Diamond's feet right next to the fruit. "you? Huh?"

"Stefan, is something the matter?" Rodrigo asked Stefan, or rather Steven, who had now replaced Stefan in the dream.

"Oh no, not again!" Steven began panicking as he started to glow pink yet again, not knowing how things ended up like this.

As Steven woke up in his bed, he found Peridot standing at the side of his bed, looking very excited at how the experiment went.

"Oh my stars Steven, you did it!" Peridot cheered excitedly. "You just fell asleep and started turning pink, which started happening in the dream! Here, I'll show you!" She then ran over to the TV and began playing Steven's dream again. "Our script, our story, it's on the television and it's wonderful!" she kept on praising. "Not sure what you were going for with that bizarre imagery towards the end but I'll admit, seeing Yellow Diamond's face on a pineapple made me laugh."

Amid Peridot's eagerness, however, Steven then started to get drowsy again.

"Steven, are you okay?" Peridot asked with concern.

"Sorry Peri, just feeling a little off." Steven assured her. "Maybe eating that chili wasn't a great idea."

"Yeah yeah, don't believe everything you read online and all that." Peridot japed. "We got none of the money in the world, and all the time in our hands. Hey, I've got a great idea of my own! Picture this, a mysterious young woman with a teardrop tattoo on her face arrives at the camp because she wants to kidnap Stefan for her own dark designs. But before she can succeed, Pierre from the original Camp Pining Hearts comes in to save the day!"

"Uh, okay then." Steven replied awkwardly while trying to make himself comfortable. "But you're right, let's pull off a do-over. We can try as many times as we want until we get it right."

"Less talking, more sleeping." Peridot pushed a star-shaped pillow into Steven's chest and forced him onto his mattress before pulling his eyelids down.

Every time Steven went to sleep, he was back to canoeing with Rodrigo to rescue Jasmine. And every time, Rodrigo was replaced in his canoes by some very unexpected characters.

The first time this happened, Rodrigo was suddenly replaced by Dogcopter, of all things. As Dogcopter flew off using the propeller on his back, Stefan reached out to the flying canine before Steven awakened with bags under his eyes.

The second time, Rodrigo's place was taken by Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. The three Gems then flew away from Stefan just like Dogcopter did, and Stefan cried out for them before Steven woke up yet again, and the bags were starting to get darker.

The third time, Rodrigo didn't disappear. Instead, he started getting more unnerved as Spinel's massive Injector was present in the background, and Stefan was suddenly replaced with Steven as a baby.

Suddenly, a young woman with a teardrop tattoo on her face, just like what Peridot had described, snatched the baby Steven from the canoe with a maniacal laugh before Pierre, who now looked like he had green-lensed glasses and triangular hair, boldly stepped in and stood up to the woman.

Steven once again woke up, his baggy eyes now at their darkest, while Peridot just sighed in defeat.

The next morning, Steven sat down to some cereal and milk in the kitchen when Peridot suddenly appeared with a big stack of papers in front of her. "Uh, what's all this?"

"I've concluded that a script just wasn't working!" Peridot proudly announced. "So I've decided to take a more visual approach and made a whole series of storyboards for us to use! Besides, I've seen tons of cartoons use more storyboards than scripts, for better or for worse."

"You made all of these in one night?' Steven gasped in amazement at the triangular Gem's feat while looking through the storyboards.

"Duh, I'm good at everything!" Peridot bragged. "Now please study these in preparation for tonight."

"Hey, I got a question." Steven said while putting out one of the storyboards that featured the same tattooed woman from his dream. "Who's this girl, and why does Pierre look so much like you now?"

"Uh, that's Marine, Pierre's new arch-foe!" Peridot answered, awkwardly twiddling her fingers and looking in every conceivable direction. "She is totally not based on anyone we've met before."

"Are you sure?" Steven asked suspiciously while flicking through more storyboards featuring Marine. "Cause her haircut and location of her tattoo kinda reminds me of Aq-" Suddenly, he stopped to discover a new storyboard of Stefan having a romantic moment with Jasmine. "Wait, why is Stefan kissing Jasmine?"

"It's perfect!" Peridot yelled eagerly. "Right as Rodrigo is about to save Stefan from this reverse damsel in distress situation, he discovers that Jasmine got to him first, and they're already kissing too! Imagine, Jasmine defying gender clichés to save Stefan, unaware that they're stroking the fires of Rodrigo's jealousy!"

"I can't do Rodrigo this dirty!" Steven objected to the idea. "It's not only a betrayal of the friendship we gave him and Stefan, but it's also poor romantic drama too!"

"Whoa, take it easy Steven, they're just characters. No need to become so addicted to their love lives!" Peridot tried to excuse herself. "This is a story, and a good story needs conflict!"

"No, I still don't want to do this!" Steven declared angrily, startling Peridot before she came to an understanding.

"Look Steven, I can see you're pretty worn out from last night." Peridot said sadly as she began to get up and walk away. "Let's just scrap the whole project."

"What?" Steven replied in shock.

"There's really no point in continuing if it stresses you out that much." Peridot sighed as she grabbed the door handle. "Besides, I got classes to teach at Little Homeworld anyway."

But when Peridot was close to opening the front door and leaving the house, a flash of pink convinced Steven to change his mind. "No, wait!" he exclaimed, stopping the little Gem in her tracks. "I'll do the scene."

"Really?!" Peridot turned back with a cute smile and stars in her eyes.

"Anything to make you happy." Steven replied wearily. Though he was happy that Peridot was happy, he let out a heavy sigh as he was forced to put his friends before himself yet again.

"Oh no, that dastardly Marine has Stefan captured!" Rodrigo cried as he quickly rowed downstream to save his dear friend. "Jasmine said she's going to help him, but I haven't heard from her since!"

But just as Rodrigo finished his sentence, he finally found Stefan and Jasmine safe from harm, while Marine was left tied up beside them.

"You won't get away with this Stefan!" Marine yelled before she noticed Rodrigo, and had another fiendish idea in the works. "Hey Rodrigo, look! Your best friend's a cheater!"

"What?!" Rodrigo exclaimed, staring straight at Stefan and Jasmine kissing passionately. "Stefan, how could you?!"

"Rodrigo, this isn't what it looks like!" Stefan cried to Rodrigo in Steven's voice, but he wasn't there. And neither were Jasmine and Marine. And right before Stefan was a very angry-looking Connie. "Connie?"

Suddenly, Connie began to grow into the size of a giant and then turned into Obsidian. Stefan meanwhile was turned back into Steven as the Connie-Obsidian hybrid raised a foot and lowered it to crush him.

Steven then woke up in his old room wearing his old pajamas. Just like in the real world, Peridot remained by his side watching the television, but she was eerily silent, a far cry from her usual smug and loud yet cheerful nature.

"Peridot, my dreams are going nuts!" Steven informed Peridot while getting out of bed and walking over to her. "First everyone disappeared, then Jasmine turned into Connie, and she tried to squish me which is how I ended up here!" However, Peridot said nothing and continued facing the television. "Peridot?" Steven asked as he grabbed the green Gem's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

When Steven turned Peridot to face him, her visor and gem were now filled with SMPTE color bars and her expression showed no emotion at all. Steven's old bedroom abruptly vanished, and his PJs turned into his normal clothes as he noticed Peridot emotionlessly marching towards the beach house from the dream he woke up from the previous day. "Peridot!"

"Oh, poor little Steven." A familiar bratty voice called to Steven as he chased after Peridot. From the clouds came Aquamarine, still as haughty as ever and now in possession of her wand once more. "Don't you see? It's all her fault that I kidnapped you, that you had to learn all those horrible things about your mother! And yet not once did her blatant betrayal ever come up again."

"You don't know Peridot like I do, you little twerp!" Steven yelled at Aquamarine as he gained on Peridot, who was about to open the front door. "She's changed ever since we first met. She once tried to kill me like every other Gem who's ever antagonized me, but now she's become so sweet and funny!"

"Oh please, just because you like her now doesn't mean you should completely forget about all the ways she's harmed you." Aquamarine taunted before she restrained Steven with a tractor beam, but his iron will allowed him to resist as he tried to stop Peridot.

"Please Peri, don't go in there!" Steven strained from resisting the tractor beam and reached out to Peridot. "I still really want to hang out with you!" Just then, the floor disappeared beneath Steven and Peridot just like in the earlier dream. Peridot seemingly floated in midair while Steven leaped to the edge of the porch and continued reaching out to her, as the front of the house turned into color bars as well. "We always had something to fix together! The Cluster, the Diamonds, Spinel, but I don't know how I can be anyone's friend without something to fix!"

"Why can't you just surrender already?!" Aquamarine yelled as she tried to reel Steven in like a fish. "Your suffering is all because of her, and she's felt so worthless because of you!" Unfortunately for her, the tractor beam broke and the small, flying Gem was catapulted away from the pair. "We'll meet again brat!"

"I-I just can't do it anymore!" Steven cried to Peridot, unaware of the dream version of Aquamarine's failure to catch him. "I'm just so tired, and now I'm even trying to fix something in my dreams!" He soon started to cry as he got closer to Peridot. "I'm sorry I can't do this for you! Just please don't leave me!"

Peridot remained stoic as Steven kept on grasping for her. "Don't…leave."

The dream ended just like a VHS tape being removed from a VCR before a muffled voice began calling for Steven.

"Steven? Steven!"

Steven was suddenly shook awake with tears in his eyes, and he discovered Peridot leaning over him crying just as much.

"I saw everything Steven, and yes, it is true!" Peridot admitted sorrowfully. "A good reason why I was using your dreams is because I never got over how you were kidnapped because of me! I was so worried the other Gems would declare me a traitor, but they never bothered to bring it up. You know what, we don't have to do this anymore!" Steven then gave her a tight hug. "I don't care about the show anymore, or Rodrigo especially! I just want what's best for you! I'm such a clod!"

"It's okay Dottie, it's okay." Steven comforted his green pal. "I kind of knew something was up when you first mentioned Marine and Pierre, but I didn't know you've bottling this up for so long."

"I know, it's so unhealthy of me." Peridot wept. "I just needed something to vent with, so that's why I wanted to spend time with you. It's okay if you don't want an excuse to hang out anymore."

"But I do want to keep hanging out." Steven assured Peridot. "With or without all this trauma. We're friends, right?"

"I guess you're right." Peridot smiled sadly.

"You still want to watch CPH together," Steven offered. "even if it's terrible?"

In response, Peridot took off her visor and began wiping some tears, shedding the mask she had kept up for her entire stay. "Of course."

"How could you lie to me like this Rodrigo?!" Jasmine yelled crossly at her love interest while Steven and Peridot laughed as it all went down. "I bet you just can't help being an awful person!"

"You just buried a dead body Jasmine, and you're getting mad at Rodrigo for cheating at cards?!" Peridot cackled, pounding her fist on the floor. "Some protagonist you turned out to be! Oh my stars, this show is the worst!"

"This show is the best." Steven smiled contently before the pair leaned up against each other with smiles on their faces.

Like I said, wasted opportunity for more Peridot development. And yes my friends, that United Defenders of the World show was a total middle finger to dark & edgy teen drama reboots of family-friendly properties with fans of all ages. It happened to Archie, it happened to Winx Club and it's even gonna happen to the Powerpuff Girls soon. But I'm getting off topic, this was a pretty fun chapter to write since I love Peridot so much and she has an incredible dynamic with Steven. Speaking of green Gems, next chapter goes into original territory once again as we finally shine a light on a corrupted Gem that's seemingly been erased from existence come Future. That's right Nephrite, come on down!

#steven universe #steven universe future #fanfiction #steven universe alternate future #steven quartz universe #peridot

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entitycradle · 3 years

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A Tree Without Wind

Content warnings: mention of, discussion of, threats of, and plans to commit suicide. Panic attacks, disassociation, and paranoia are described, sometimes in detail. An eating disorder is alluded to. Characters are horny for each other but there’s nothing sexually explicit.

I promise the ending is hopeful. I genuinely am not trying to trick you, I know what this sort of thing is like, I want to respect your capacity while still being truthful to the experience and allowing tension in the story. If you’re in the right place for it, click that button.

A TREE WITHOUT WIND

I was nine years old the first time Phoenix told me he was going to kill himself. Is that too brutal? Sorry. It's where this starts. We were outside, in the morning before it got too hot, kicking around a ball in the scrubby grass. We used the long shadow of the I34Q tower to make the rules--you can't use your hands if you're in the sun, that sorta thing. It was fun because the boundaries of the shadow were always moving with the shape of the tower, and because the tower was a little scary. Phoenix lost a game and just said it, frustrated, "I'm gonna kill myself." I laughed.

When I was that age I loved looking at the shadow of the tower, because it made so much more sense than the real thing. You'd look at the dark, fuzzy stain on the ground and you could imagine it was some sort of antenna, or house, or marker. But then you'd look at the structure itself and your eyes would glaze over trying to figure it out. Unevenly rotating, stacked polyhedral structures, dark gray but covered with a rainbow film like an oil slick. Irregular pieces would be transferred between different sections with no apparent pattern. It smelled like someone you'd never met. The tower was doing something but no one was ever clear on what. That's how it is with I34Q stuff, I think.

I'm stalling. It was some stupid shit, he must've picked it up from some awful caster or something. As a kid Phoenix liked that sorta thing. He'd watch videos of mean people cursing and laughing and he'd laugh with them. I preferred my cartoons, or the I34Q casts, as weird as they were. Later I repeated what he said when I found out my dad was making squash for dinner, "I'm gonna kill myself," and my mom told me off pretty hard. Kept me from saying it again, at least in school and at home. Phoenix kept at it though.

- = -

Phoenix and I got put in the same dormitory when we went to T-school. Do they call it T-school in other places? It's the thing where 4Q tanks (as in I34Q) come and take a bunch of eleven-year-old kids to stay at "training" facilities. No one I've asked knows what T-school is actually for, same as the towers, same as all the 4Q stuff like I said before. An organic shape attached to the ground heads a classroom, gibbering except for the occasional english sentence (Phoenix said he also recognized some Cantonese). Mrs. Lough, who apparently also lives in the facility, tries to teach "formalist english," which is like english but the rules contradict themselves. You take notes on the behavior of a tank filled with inky fluid for four hours a week. One day a three-legged machine packs up your stuff and shepherds you to the gate.

I was ejected a year and a half after Phoenix. I went home on the bus and met him at burger king that afternoon. I caught a glimpse of him from outside. His hair was in long, tight braids. I felt self-conscious about the uncontrollable smile growing on my face. "Aco!" he said through a grin as I opened the glass door. A green poster advertised a meal made from "water beads," an I34Q plant thing.

"Dang," I said, grinning as I sat down. "Dang."

"You make it out? Fuck you to 4Q?" He'd stopped eating to greet me. His grin looked as uncontrollable as mine. Phoenix's nose was wide and flat, also like mine.

"Fork you, 4Q." I still felt nervous about cursing. I was fourteen. "How ya doing, Phoenix?"

"I'm good, I'm good. High school is interesting."

"Oh, man..."

"It's actually like, fucking nice to understand what's happening. But now there are actual smart kids and you actually get punished when you, y'know, mouth off. I'm like, I gotta get around to--" He swiped with his hand, bent his neck, and made a cracking sound with his mouth. I laughed. "Don't worry, I'll show you around. Maybe we'll have a class together."

- = -

We did have a class together. High school with Phoenix was fun, because I got to have a proper crush on him. Pining, sexuality, youthful obsession, yards and yards of it. It was weird, we kinda drifted--Phoenix hung out with kids that I was afraid of, I hung out with kids who played too many videogames. As our familiarity waned, I started seeing him differently. A foreign, adult desire began to penetrate me, replacing childish affection. It took me a while to realize that's what was happening.

It was a shame our familiarity waned, though, because Phoenix was really struggling, and I didn't see it. His friends were mean, when they weren't outright abusive. Not a lot of people liked him. I learned later that he started hurting himself when he was sixteen. Little cigarette burns, and then cuts. He got put on meds at seventeen--the wrong meds, for a year. He went to a psych ward when he was nineteen. His family did not have the money to pay for an extended stay. I still don't know exactly how that worked out. I do know he went into debt after his second stay two years later.

I wasn't doing too well myself, after I hit twenty-two. Something in me broke I guess. So when Phoenix told me he was going to travel to the Santitos digger and throw himself off a cliff, it didn't take me very long to ask if I could go with him.

- = -

"I... I didn't..." He paused for a long time. Ten seconds of silence feels unbearably long in a conversation, and I was quiet for fifteen. My teeth held each other tightly as his thoughts whirled. "I didn't..." He looked me in the eyes. There was an intensity to both our gazes. He'd stuck his jaw out, just a little. "I guess I did. I was, kinda, hoping you'd say that."

"Fuck," I said, looking away and down. "Fuck." I put a hand over my eyes, gripping my face as tears came.

"I'm gonna die," he said, beginning to smile and looking up. I felt the discomfort I'd felt since we were nine.

"Yeah, I wanna go, I wanna go," I said, pulling my hand away midway through and looking back at him with a force I didn't recognize.

He looked back at me and said, "I'm gonna die, and you're gonna die with me."

- = -

The Santitos digger is in northern California, in the Redwood national park. People have figured out the basic idea of what the digger is doing, unlike the towers or the T-schools: the digger is making a big hole. I'd heard that in some places it had dug more than a mile, almost straight down. Don't ask me how the digger would've done that. Don't ask me why it's called Santitos, either, since it's pretty big and not very saintly. Maybe it was the name of a town. Getting to the digger from Prince George County was about fifty hours.

"I figure we could do it in three days if we really fuck-you-pushed-it. But I'm planning on five." I craned my neck to look at Phoenix's cracked phone screen, where he'd pulled up the route.

Gas is expensive because 4Q takes most of it. Basically no one flies. Even in Phoenix's hybrid, it would be a thousand dollars to get to the west coast. But it's not like we'd need the money afterwards.

"We'll eat along the way," he continued. I bit my thumbnail. "I'm not picky, we'll just stop at wherever they won't run us out of town."

We'd sleep in the car. It was April, so temperature wouldn't be a concern. I packed a change of clothes, a water bottle, my meds, and a box cutter I'd stolen from my last job.

The next morning, he pulled his blue, dented '38 prius in front of my apartment building. I saw the car arrive out the window. There was an anxious pit in my stomach that deepened when I opened my front door. I didn't want anyone to see me. This is it, I thought, this is it, this is it. I repeated that phrase down the stairs. My landlord could fucking charge rent to my corpse, I could give a shit. This is it, I thought. That final T stretched to enrobe me. The sky was gray and wet. The sensation wasn't enough to rip me from my inwards reverie. I was about to get in the back of the car when Phoenix spoke. "That ain't it."

He was leaning out the window, regarding me coolly. "Morning. Shall we go?" I walked around the car and got in the front seat.

- = -

Virginia is beautiful once you get into the mountains, forested and rolling. I told Phoenix, "Once I read the Appalachians are millions of years old, and used to be taller than the Himalayas."

"No shit. Was there like an Everest? Where's the old Everest?"

"I don't know, I never heard anything about that. But yeah the continental plates looked totally different. And then things changed and the rain and wind and plants broke them down."

"Hah. Fucking awful. Just being broken down like that. I mean, it's better than what 4Q did to Everest."

I was quiet for a moment. "That's... the worst thing they did, right?"

"I dunno, dude, I think taking kids from their families is worse."

"No, right, right. But like... Everest was like... like everyone knew about Everest. When I was really little I had this big book about mountains and I read the bit on Everest so many times. And now it's like... they made it about them. And people lived in the Himalayas before 4Q came! It forced everyone out and carved a bunch of nonsense into it. A forever reminder that we're below them."

"Hah, literally. Hmmm. I still wouldn't say worst, but, I get what you mean. I'm so numb to it. It's good some people still care." Phoenix shrugged. "I mean I dunno. It doesn't matter much to me, at this point. But from an outside perspective it's good."

That first evening was alright. I drove Phoenix into a beautiful sunset. You hear the phrase "rode off into the sunset" and you think, what a nice ending, but it's not really an ending. If you're the cowboy you keep riding, and eventually the sky darkens and you have to set up camp and eat and sleep and wake up the next morning and eat and go riding again. A feeling of dread and desperation fills me when I think of surviving alone like that. Maybe I'd get used to it. The trip to Santitos was an attempt to write a story with a proper ending.

We didn't stop until we crossed into Illinois. We parked on the shoulder of a country road. I used the light in the car to look at the atlas we'd bought for when we didn't have cell service, and laughed. "We've been in five states today. Pretty good. Keep it up and we'll have visited every state by June."

"What the--?" Phoenix snorted, laughing. "You mean if we visit five states a day. Asshole."

I always giggled when he snorted and called me an asshole. "Hey, I'm just saying."

"Fucking dumb. Doesn't even work. You'd have to wake up in a different state than you fell asleep in." He caught my eye. The smile felt intimate, mutual. Born of sleepy exhaustion from a shared journey. I looked at the divot between his nose and upper lip.

I realized something. "Shit, I forgot to bring a blanket."

"Poor baby. You cold?"

"Hmm. I guess not really."

"Oh, you know what I do have..." He leaned towards me and reached toward the back seat. I watched his shirt stretch over his chest. Phoenix retrieved a big gray sweater. "Feel free to stretch it out."

My fingertips touched the back of his hands as I took the bundle. I did that on purpose. His skin was warmer than I expected, as skin always is. We tipped our seats back. Not the most comfortable, though the sweater would help, hopefully. I checked out Phoenix to see him on his side, looking at me and smiling. I let my own smile relax into me as I watched his eyes. His irises were a rich, beautiful brown. His skin was the color of cardboard in your childhood memories. I loved the way his smile wasn't symmetrical, wider on one side than the other. I carefully resisted scanning my gaze down his body. I actually saw his eyes flick down my form, instantaneously. His eyelids half-lowered, and then, horribly, what seemed to be a great tide of sadness overtook him. I watched him hold it back. I watched his smile mix with growing grief and fear, then bow to neutrality. He covered his gaze with his eyelids, breathed in, breathed out. "All right," he whispered, then opened his eyes. The gaze was gone. "Time to sleep." He sat up and turned off the light.

The sweater had a very particular, subtle smell to it. I guess it was his smell. I was desperately horny, yet blasted to pieces. A heady mix.

"I think I could fall in love with you, if things were a little different." He broke the silence, fifteen minutes later. "I probably would. But I'd cling to you like a fucking baby. And you're here, right?" He paused. For a response? I didn't give him one in time. "That's what I mean, codependent hell. I'd only be alive for you, and you'd only be alive for me, and then the second anything goes wrong we'd be right back here except I'd, fucking, direct all my shittiness at you... and you'd blame yourself."

I was quiet. "Ain't... ain't being codependent better than dying?"

"Hah! But that's what I'm saying, it doesn't change anything, it just leads us back here."

I fumbled for something. "Yeah but if it could... like stave it off..."

"Why is that good? The world is fucked, Acoatl, totally and truly fucked. Things don't get better from here, for me, for people. Should I beg? Stay here in misery out of some misplaced sense of morality? We're doing the only thing that makes sense."

I stayed quiet, not unconvinced. Sleep came, eventually, uncomfortably, anxiously.

- = -

The International Astronomical Union provisionally called it 8I/2034 Q1. I had to look that up. The eighth interstellar comet discovered, identified in 2034. I don't know what Q1 means. The name was briefly changed to 8I/Pasarati, for the research group that had discovered it, but by that time I34Q was clearly accelerating non-gravitationally and on an Earthbound trajectory. 8I/Pasarati is still in orbit, technically. You can see it through a telescope, it's like five miles across. But I34Q is the name for all of it, the craft that came to the surface, the life it brought with it, the structures it built, the war, all the consequences. No one can make any sense of it, except the one thing everyone knows: something else controls the world now.

- = -

I just barely remember waking up to switch seats in the morning, and then desiring nothing more than to return to sleep. Eventually Phoenix nudged me awake. "Hey." We were parked somewhere in Missouri. I'd slept all the way through the night and Phoenix's turn to drive. At least twelve hours, depending on when I actually fell asleep last night. I'd missed the big arch in St. Louis.

Phoenix was curt and reserved as I drove. I thought he was still thinking about last night, or angry at me for leaving him alone on his drive. Then he tilted his head back and began to gag. "My... heart..." Tears streamed down him face.

"Phoenix." I glanced back and forth between him and the road. There were abandoned cars on the shoulder; I couldn't pull over. "Phoenix, Phoenix, um."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, stop." He bent, heaved, and emitted a yowling, harsh retch. Nothing else left his mouth. "My heart..." He was breathing hard. A panic attack, I realized, stupidly too late.

"Do we have..." Panic attacks can be interrupted with certain intense sensations. The general goal is to increase awareness of the environment, focus the mind on the current moment rather than the future or past. Holding an ice cube can help. There were no ice cubes. I reached into the back seat for my water bottle, which would at least be cool. A truck behind us laid on the horn. I swerved back into my lane. "Sorry." Phoenix dry heaved again. It was a uniquely distressing sound.

I searched for the hazards, feeling useless. Far too much time passed before I found them and started slowing down. A different truck laid on a different horn. I was able to slip in a gap on the shoulder between an abandoned pickup and a rusting minivan.

I led Phoenix onto the tall grass beyond the asphalt, where he collapsed onto all fours. His torso flexed as he heaved. I put a hand on his back. "Phoenix, look at the trees." There were bushy, broken trees lining the sides of the highway, a vibrant green against the blue and white sky. "The, listen to the road." No, the road was stressing me the fuck out. "Listen to the grass waving, feel it." Stalks crumpled in his fists. I twisted my head and saw the tip of an I34Q tower peeking up over the treeline. "Look, a tower, just like when we were kids." Over the next few minutes, his breathing slowed, his heaving stopped. But the tears stayed. He sobbed away the panic. I read somewhere that tears actually contain different chemicals depending on the emotion causing them. Something to do with hormones I think.

He apologized to me. I would've done the same thing. I've done the same thing. So I got it, but felt indignant at having understood--he didn't need to apologize!

We got back on the road and listened to static on the radio. Sometimes the edge of a station would pass by, and we'd get fuzzy country, or christian rock. I changed it whenever there was a sermon. Sermons always come back to 4Q and they're always awful. The 4Q broadcasts are actually better than sermons about 4Q. They're kind of like static, anyway, totally unintelligible. We encountered more of them than I expected. Maybe static itself is a 4Q broadcast. I don't think that's right, I think static is like cosmic background radiation. But maybe 4Q has changed it somehow, like it used to be white noise and now it's blue noise, a different random distribution but still random.

"I'm off my meds," he said, as we rolled into darkness. The moon was a crescent, low on the western horizon. He spoke flatly and calmly. "I didn't even bring them with me. I thought you should know."

I hesitated. I wanted to voice this diplomatically. But then, we'd be dead in four days, anyway. "Is that why you had the attack?"

"No. I panic even on meds." That made sense. I remembered a few times in the past year when he'd canceled an event with little notice, or left early. "But I'm not a person right now, and that's definitely because I'm off my meds."

"You're not a person right now?"

"Yeah. It's called depersonalization. Also derealization, which is when nothing is real. Or that's how it feels, as I'm told. It's pretty freaky if I'm honest. You don't get the same emotional reaction from stuff. It feels like you're watching from somewhere else." He wasn't looking at me. He was looking down. "You're not you. You're not even real." He whispered. "Pretty freaky."

"Can I--do you--"

"Ahh, I'm coming out of it. Some of it is just recognizing that you're in it." He drew a knee up to his chest and shook his head. "Uhh, could you. Could you hold my hand. Touch helps."

I gripped the wheel with my left hand and held his palm with my right. It was warm and sweaty. I wish I could say that was okay. I felt miserable. I wanted to feel happy, holding his hand, comforting him. I didn't.

Sleep came quicker that night, though still uncomfortable, still anxious.

- = -

I slept late, again. I hadn't touched the chicken sandwich I'd gotten from a drive-thru last night. It had awful 4Q stuff on it anyway. I hadn't eaten in twenty-four hours, so I was pretty hungry, but I had no actual desire to eat. I'd deal with it later.

My own panic attack must've seemed similarly unbidden to Phoenix, though I felt it coming about an hour beforehand, and tried to stave it off. We were on I-80, driving through the hypnotizing flatness of Nebraska. Every ten or fifteen minutes I kept seeing this scarlet structure. It was like a giant, bloody caricature of a water tower, a skinny, triangular column maybe ten feet across and at least two hundred feet tall, supporting an enormous squashed sphere more than twice as wide as the column was tall. I'd watch it rise from the horizon, far too big. I'd never seen them before but guessed they must be 4Q. I started thinking we were somehow traveling in a loop, that my sense of direction was faulty and we were passing the same structure in the same field over and over again. Then I started thinking about how crazy that sounded. But I couldn't stop the thought.

I wanted to pull over but I couldn't stop anywhere in view of the structure, because it was watching me. Of course it wasn't, but I couldn't stop the thought that it was. Hell, maybe it was. Maybe only the mad can decode the purpose of I34Q stuff. I felt how hard I was breathing and glanced over at Phoenix, wondering why he hadn't said anything. He was staring down. He was probably disassociating again, I realized later, but at the time all I knew was that I was alone.

I get angry at myself after my attacks. I feel so stupid. Phoenix apologized to me that night, which made me feel even stupider. I couldn't wait to get to the Santitos digger.

- = -

The next day was bad. Quiet, lonely, and frustrated. A further reminder of the reasons. I saw patches of 4Q purple grass climbing up the Rockies. We both took long shifts and entered Redwood park just after midnight.

- = -

I read a story once about a man that was falling in the dark. He was falling so far that he would die instantly when he hit the ground. He realized that his brain wouldn't have time to process the impact, or even the few moments before. And he couldn't see the ground. He couldn't see anything. All that was left in the world was him and his death. I wondered if Phoenix had read the same story, and was hoping for a similar effect, coming here at night. Of course, we got it wrong. There were clouds, burgundy with light pollution, and every few minutes a star would gaze through; an unearthly glow was cast up from distant pieces of the digger.

Some parts of the digger looked like the towers, spinning and shifting. Some parts looked like exposed microelectronics, cables sutured to shiny terminals of minute complexity. Some parts were just made of asphalt blocks, cream-, gray-, and lime-colored pebbles tightly embedded in dark tar. Distant redwoods, many damaged by fire, ringed the horizon. The Santitos digger was less an object and more a place.

I felt wordlessly close to Phoenix as we scrambled over asphalt, looking for a pit. We touched each other frequently in our effort, to assist, to communicate. We'd have to give each other boosts, lift each other up, look for alternate routes. This place was not made for people.

Finally we came upon a deep canyon. I had half a mind to walk off the edge immediately. But both Phoenix and I stopped to regard it.

I couldn't tell if the rumors were true. You could only see maybe a hundred yards down before the walls of the abyss disappeared into ink. Or, not ink--not blackness, either. People are black. This was something else. The most prominent features were the semi-perceivable red blotches left on my optic nerve after gazing at one of the digger's glowing sectors. The unknowable told me nothing. It just revealed the flaws of my being. Maybe we would achieve our effect after all.

"This is it," I said, elliptically. The beginning is the end. If you take out the 'h' that phrase is a palindrome. "That was the first thing I said out of the door before I got into your car on Saturday. If you take out the 'h' the phrase is a palindrome. The beginning is the end. This is elliptical. This is it."

"That ain't it." He was regarding me coolly.

I laughed.

He was angry. "Are you fucking kidding me? The point of this thing, the whole fucking point is you do it in your right mind. You're letting your madness make the decision for you. You have to make the decision!"

I found that extremely funny. I laughed harder.

"Shut up! Fuck!"

"What's a right mind?" I asked, still grinning. "There's no such thing anymore. Even when it was a thing, all it meant was the most socially-acceptable, capital-promoting mind. Now? The world doesn't fit us anymore. The human condition is inconvenient to its purpose. 4Q can't even train us. The right mind is a dead one. You want a right mind, go ahead." I gestured at the abyss. That's what I did.

He stepped forward. He stepped forward. A foot hung above the end.

I don't know what I would've done if he had lowered that foot, changing his balance, tipping him forward. Jumping in after him wouldn't have felt right. Maybe I'd have gone back to those red eyes in Nebraska and begged for them to torture me. Maybe his idiosyncrasies would have been repelled by the unknowable, flowing away from his body and into me, and I'd be lost forever in a derealized paranoia. Maybe I'd have gotten in the car and driven back home.

His foot remained, hanging, the edge a gallows. "Suicide is about pain. It's the ultimate response to ongoing distress. I never wanted you to be normal. I just didn't want you to be in pain. In a twisted way, I guess I thought, if this was your way of dealing with pain, I wasn't going to stop you. That is your right. I feel like that has to be your right." His balance was incredible. He remained still, a tree without wind. "But you can be abnormal, you can be a bad fit for the world, you can be utterly broken, and you can still live without pain." We're both crying. Tears descend into the pit.

| ' , |

I do think madness is the right way to understand I34Q. I feel this mysteriously. I wonder what it would be like if I tried going to T-school while embracing my altered states, living in them. I suspect Phoenix would have more success, being more comfortable with unreality. Not that either of us would participate in whatever hegemony 4Q perpetuates. More that we'd figure out what it wanted, and how to resist. I've been thinking about this a lot. Maybe other people are, too. We need to find each other.

Phoenix and I wandered north. We found this incredible queer community in Oregon, with actual traditions and mechanisms to deal with communal trauma. I can't say anything about the world, the world is unknowable. But I think there's hope for us.

Phoenix and I are together, now, in a way I can't quite name. We did finally make love. That was beautiful. But we don't live together. I make love to other people, sometimes, and he does the same. Sometimes I'll go a week or two without seeing him, without notice. Sometimes I'll go a few days without even thinking about him. I love him, and I tell him that, and he says the same to me, though both of us have admitted that we don't know what that means.

We still panic. I still get paranoid. Phoenix disassociates. He's been using the state to make art. I think about I34Q and write down what I think. I'm pretty good at eating regularly, even if I don't feel like it. I don't know if we're living without pain. I think maybe that's a pretty tall order. But I don't want to kill myself anymore. So I think that's pretty good.

[Ed.: have this little treat. It takes me about the length of this playlist to read the story.]

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5VD5lJJqNUJsITPj3Rg8Sn?si=d262096479104d4f

#fiction #short fiction #science fiction #aliens #madness #suicide #panic attack #disassociation #paranoia #eating disorder #hopeful ending

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shadowsong26fic · 4 years

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Coming Attractions!

First Monday of the month (and year. Thank every known deity in the universe.)

...ahem.

Yeah. It’s been a...well, 2020. But it is now officially a new month and year, and time for a Coming Attractions post!

The big news, obviously, is that I actually finished Precipice. \o/ ...well, the first seven arcs, anyway.

As I’ve discussed before, and explained in my very long author’s note at the end of the final chapter on Ao3, the next steps for this AU are a series of seven one-shots which will be released as ‘Preludes,’ covering the six-year timegap before Arc Eight. These mostly deal with Rebels characters (although I’m slightly rethinking one of them because I should probably include Mara Jade in it...), as well as Sidious’ fifth apprentice and possibly Maul.

I’ll also be starting the sequel, entitled either Protectors or Promises (it’s been Protectors for a while, but now I’m waffling? IDK). Anyway, that picks up with arc Eight, Escalation, six years after the end of Precipice. I’ll probably post a preview snippet sometime this month because Why Not.

There will be a hiatus (an actually Planned one this time, lol...). I’m aiming to start posting in April, but we’ll see how things go.

Anyway, moving on to other plans!

Other Star Wars Projects:

our faces like a mirror

I totally planned to start posting that this year <.< On the plus side, I don’t...think the Siege of Mandalore arc (or the stuff from the Mandalorian) really Jossed anything I had planned? Especially given the fact that it’s set from 5 years pre-TPM (I recognize that Lucasfilm has made a timeline decision but given that it’s a stupid-ass timeline decision I have elected to ignore it) to about 5 years post-TPM, so I wasn’t really expecting it to, but it was a vague concern of mine. Anyway, I’ll rewatch to be sure before I post, probably. But, yeah, I’m all the more excited about my girl Bo-Katan now, so hopefully I’ll get some momentum on this.

2021 SWBB:

I finally figured out a general shape of the plot, lol! And I have about...just under 4k of miscellaneous text in this AU (like, actual Story text, not just random notes and scribbles of which I have. A Lot). I need to get another 2k by Sunday, but that shouldn’t be a problem.

It’s going to be in four parts, plus prelude/interludes/coda, because that is the Structure that my brain at like 4AM gave me the other night, lol. While I don’t know the details, I have a general idea of What Happen in parts one, three, and four; except for tying in some Mandalore stuff and making some Decisions about who I want to draw in at various points. Part Two is also up in the air. I know how it needs to end to set up part three, but not so sure about what should actually go in there. Possibly I’ll end up cutting Part Two and just having a three-part story, but eh, we’ll see.

Anyway, I’m having fun with this, especially since I’ve discovered the Plot, so we’ll see how things go from here :)

Other SW Fanfics:

I am...hoping??? to resurrect Distaff and/or the Ventress outline at some point this year, because I’m very fond of those AUs and they deserve some more love. Possibly also another Devoted story. We shall see.

AtLA Fanfic Projects:

As I’ve mentioned a few times over the past few months, I’ve fallen back into this fandom (which was my primary fandom for...like...four to six years????) And I definitely want to write more in it. I’ve already done one AU outline, and I have plans for a couple fulltext fics (...discounting the super-self-indulgent crossover stuff I don’t super plan on sharing outside a very small circle lol). I don’t have much actual, uh, Text on anything yet, but I’m hoping to start posting one or more of those at some point this year, too.

Project One is an Avatar Zuko AU; Aang is around for reasons that do get explained in story; Zuko finds out a couple months before the duel with his father when accidental water or airbending happens (he’s in a sailboat, there’s a storm, I haven’t worked out the details yet). He decides That Clearly Didn’t Happen and proceeds to ignore it...until he manages to accidentally waterbend again when in the infirmary post-duel. At which point he decides he Does Not want to be just...used as a weapon. He figures he has about three and a half years before the comet, he can use that time to figure out what to do next; maybe come back with the comet and Prove his Worth at that point.

He goes to the WAT first, to see what he can figure out about airbending from any texts/mosaics/whatever that are still there; then he heads to the NWT; then he’ll probably pick up Toph because I love their dynamic. He plans to spend a year on each other element (not enough time for mastery but that comet deadline looms large). Obviously, over the course of those three years, his plans change.

And then things get thrown even more off the rails when Aang emerges from the iceberg before Zuko’s year of earthbending is up.

There will be a fair number of OCs hanging around (both to give him someone to talk to at the WAT and I think he’s going to learn from a less-prominent master than Pakku when he gets to the NWT), as well as Iroh trying to find his nephew, and various other familiar faces from the show.

Project Two is about Lu Ten, and a lover he had during the Siege of Ba Sing Se, and what happens to her (and her daughter) after his death. I’ve talked about that one in a little more detail in other posts, I think, hence the comparatively short summary, lol.

Original Stuff:

I am hoping to get more origfic posted this year than I did last year. I’ve got these universes I love exploring, and I feel like they should get more attention, lol.

...I think that about covers it! At the end of last year, I set myself some Goals, which were. Well. 2020 happened, soooo...

Anyway, because I am an Optimist, I’m going to set goals again for this year. And I guess go over how well I did on the ones I had??? A lot of my goals will probably be repeats from last year, because...yeah.

2020 Goals

1. Finish Precipice; complete Arcs 8 and 9 in Protectors/Promises/Precipice II; put out some level of Arc 7.5/Preludes content. I did finish Precipice! I did not do the other things. 2. Write at least 10k of origfic content. Not quite--I ended up with 8,129 words. 3. Start posting OFLAM Nope, that did not happen. 4. Revive a semi-hiatused fic (i.e., Distaff; Auxiliaries; Phoenix!Verse; one of the BSG fics I keep meaning to go back to if I ever actually sit down and rewatch the series; if I add an actual sequel/companion to Deja Vu… that probably counts…) Did not happen. 5. Finish updating Lux and Farglass Cycle archives; keep them updated through the end of the year as new content gets added. Nope. 6. At least four AU outline installments of some kind; preferably including a continuation of Ventress and Her Tiny Time-Travelling Conscience and actually writing up the main part of Let’s Go Steal a Crossover; but any outline will count. I did put up one AtLA outline, as mentioned before; and I also posted a massive timeline for the Jedi of Valdemar AU, but nothing else. 7. Complete BB submission and keep an eye out for other challenges/exchanges. Did complete BB, and one giftfic exchange over the summer. 8. Write at least one holiday fic (Valentine’s Day; Mother’s Day; Father’s Day; Halloween; New Year’s; etc.) and post on the appropriate day. Did not do the thing.

2021 Goals

1. Post Arcs 8 and 9 in Precipice!Verse as well as at least half of the Preludes stories. 2. Write at least 10k of origfic content. 3. Start posting OFLAM. 4. Revive a semi-hiatused fic; preferably Distaff; but Auxiliaries or Phoenix!verse or one of the BSG fics would also count (Serenissima, Other Battlestar, For Sorrow Sung rewrite...) 5. Start posting at least one AtLA fulltext fic. 6. Finish updating Lux and Farglass Cycle archives; keep them updated through the end of the year as new content gets added. 7. Find a title and set up an archive for Untitled Intrigues Story 8. At least four AU outline installments of some kind, preferably including a continuation of Ventress and Her Tiny Time-Travelling Conscience 9. Complete BB submission and keep an eye out for other challenges/exchanges. 10. Write at least one holiday fic (Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Halloween, New Year’s, etc.) and post on the appropriate day.

#coming attractions #shadowsong26fic #miscellania

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angelkurenai · 5 years

Text

America’s ass - Chris Evans x Reader

Title: America’s ass

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: You paired with your husband, Chris Evans, and friend and costar Chris Hemsworth during interviews for Avengers Endgame. You have a lot of fun but it all gets better when you play a game where you have to guess your costars’ body parts. As expected Chris knows yours right off the bat and once you instantly recognize his, which happens to be one of your favorites, you let everyone know just what you think and feel about his wonderful ass.

“We're gonna name that Avenger. Let's see how well you know the bodies of your fellow Avengers. We'll show you some extreme-”

“Extreme? Well, that won't end well.” you muttered, making the interviewer laugh “Are you sure you want to play this game while I am with these two guys?” you motioned to both Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth, who were already grinning and sharing looks that terrified you.

“We-well ye-yeah, I mean I guess? I-it's gonna be fun. We'll show you some photos and you'll have to guess, wh-what could go wrong?”

“Alright, don't say I didn't warn you!” you pointed at him with a grin “Plus, man I really should be with the rest of the girls or at least Scar for this, so that I can express myself freely!”

“Why? Can't you express yourself when we're around?” Chris, your husband, asked with a small frown and you looked at him with a grin.

“Oh hon, I sure can. But for one, there are some things you better not know yet and for another, I'm just scared that the things that come out of my mouth after this might cause you a heart attack. Especially given your age, oh you know the effect that can have on someo-”

“Alright, that's just mean now!” he cut you off, trying to look offended but unable to hide his smile anyway “You're barely 9 years younger than me, I'm not that old!”

“Sure you're not, baby. Sure you're not.” you patted his shoulder “Keep saying it out loud and one day you might believe it. Then, of course, you'll be even older but-” you shrugged “Oh well. Besides, you know what they say about older men?” you asked him with a flirty smirk and he returned it, same sparkle in his eyes as ever: one of pure love and adoration.

“No, but I would love you to enlighten me.”

“Alright!” Hemsworth said loud and quickly enough to be heard over anything you might say, cutting you off with wide eyes “Shall we start the game before this gets worse?” he glanced at the two of you with a grin “You don't want to bestuck in the middle of the storm of these two flirting with each other, trust me! So many years later and they seem to beunable to stop. I don't even think they want to stop.”

“Damn right, we don't.” you nodded your head. This time you placed a hand on his thigh, making Chris's smile even wider as a small laugh left his lips, as you winked at him. “'Sides, how can I help it? It's like this face is asking for it and I don't even have to try hard to come up with something to say.”

“And by that she means we've already used any and every pick up line known to the entire world so now we're improvising the heck out of it.” your husband laughed, shrugging “Some people would think it'd be over the first year after our wedding but nope! Honeymoon phase still going strong, eight years later! And will probably keep doing so for the rest of our lives, much to-” he chuckled, pointing to his friend whose eyes widened in utter horror and he pretended to choke on thin air “Hemmy's and everybody else's dismay!”

“Oh he's being a drama queen. Get over yourself Hemsworth!” you rolled your eyes playfully at your friend before looking back at the interviewer with a shrug, casually saying “I'm proud I got me this Chris and I like hitting on my man, sue me! Is that such a big deal?”

“No, no (Y/n). Believe me, there are a lot of people that would agree with you.” the interviewer nodded his head with a laugh “Alright, onto the game, and the first photo.” he flipped his tablet and showed you the photo “What is this? What's body part and who is that Avenger?”

“I don't even know what part of the body that is.” your husband leaned forward in his seat to look more closely “I don't even think I want to know.”

“Oh God.” Hemsworth mumbled, slightly turning away from it as you kept silent for most part, until you asked a question when you spoke up.

“What did Rudd say on this?”

“You're taking Rudd's opinion on this? Seriously?” Hemsworth asked you and you shrugged.

“Not his advice I just want to know what he said. I just wanna hear, something tells me it's gonna be worth it.” you said casually “I've got a vague idea about this but I jut wanna hear it before I take a chance.”

“Paul Rudd said-” the interviewer was already chuckling “Hulk's nuts. That- that was his answer.”

The second he said those words, you all burst into laughter. Your husband even clapping his hands and you exclaimed “See I told you it would be worth it! Wow how did he take Tony's beard for Hulk's nuts I have no idea, but that's forever sticking around I swear!”

“Oh yes!” the interviewer said with a smile, swiping to the next photo to reveal it was really him and that you had guessed it right.

“Wait- wait you knew this?” Hemsworth asked in surprise and you shrugged one more.

“Yeah, I figured it out from the first second. Looks like a beard, it's a goatee and Tony's the only one with that! 'Sides, don't you think I know how the beard I've kissed for six movies looks like?” you asked with a smirk, glancing at your husband whose smile fluttered for a split second. You saw a familiar look in his eyes and smiled even more. Thinking back to it, you had lost count of the times he'd gotten jealous of the scenes you had with Robert – and it wasn't as if he could do anything because your characters were a fan-favorite couple – and which had let to so many steamy nights, and mornings, and evenings, and noons and pretty much every time he got jealous, you either had to reassure him you were only his or he got so possessive that a heavy make-out session was the least you ended up doing.

“I'd like to-” he shook his head a bit, small frown on his face and his lips pressed in a line for a moment “I'd more like to forget that to be honest, honey.”

“Civil War number two here we go!” Hemsworth said with excitement, chuckling as you gave him a look before turning to your husband.

“Aw come on babe-” you always found it adorable, when he didn't have you begging for him that is “You know I prefer yours! I would definitely recognize yours too! Don't worry.” you patted his knee and kissed his cheek, which thankfully made him calm down a bit as the smile on his lips proved “It's the most irresistible one anyway.”

“Oh” he chuckled “Trust me, I do remember that!”

“Believe me, we all do! And we certainly want to forget.” Hemsworth said with wide eyes and you laughed, hiding your red face behind your hands “Never have I had five sleepless nights in a row like that before. Never! I'll tell you, Infinity War took the longest to film because of those two!”

“Oh come on, that's lies and you're exaggerating! Besides, sue me! He looks irresistible in a beard and I happen to have a soft spot for it!” you defended yourself as you grabbed Chris's chin and kissed his cheek once more “Infinity War will forever be in my heart for that!”

“I am guessing that's the reason why when you're not on set you don't shave huh Chris?” the interviewer asked him and your husband nodded his head.

“Oh yeah, definitely!” he exclaimed “The wife likes the beard? Then it definitely stays! Nothing I wouldn't do for her anyway, she's got me wrapped around her little finger.”

“Fair enough.” the interviewer nodded his head “Onto the next one we go.” and he swiped to the next photo.

“Oh that looks like-” your Chris started, blinking a couple times.

“It's well shaped. It's got- Looks like-” Hemsworth started trying but couldn't quiet put his finger on it.

“Loos like- Oh wait, it's an eyebrow! An eyebrow!” you clapped your hands “It's a woman's and it's- Oh oh it's Scarlett's eyebrow, or better yet Natasha. If- if we're going with characters.” you said after a few seconds of thinking.

“Yes!” the interviewer exclaimed in excitement, swiping the photo to reveal it was her “Two out of two, she's on a roll gentlemen and she's about to beat you at this!”

“Oh come on! That's just not fair, you've got some sort of secret or something? Someone's told you the answers?” Hemsworth narrowed his eyes at you and you chuckled.

“No, I swear! It's just that all it takes is looking at it for a couple seconds and I instantly know because I recognize it, plucked to perfect how can you not recognize that? Plus, do you know how many hours her and I have spent on these brows that you see? That and these?” you motioned to the photo and your eyebrows “Countless!”

“For real?” your husband asked a bit surprised and you looked at him, nodding your head.

“Yes, of course. Besides, what do you think we do when we have sleepovers?” you asked and he nodded his head in understanding, up to this day knowing very well of your monthly sleepovers besides your girls' night out. You went one anyway “We eat pizza, do beauty and talk about how you're in bed, baby.”

“Wh-what?!” Chris exclaimed so loudly, his eyes wide, that Chris Hemsworth nearly fell off his chair laughing. You couldn't help a chuckle or two of your own, truth be told. The look on his face was priceless.

“What?” you giggled “It's nothing personal, don't worry and don't be so shocked. And of course I tell my best friend and maid of honor about stuff like that, Chris. Girls talk either way, you know that honey. Not too much detail, though, don't worry. I keep some parts to myself... some... maybe.” you winked at him “Besides, it's all good things, don't you worry about that, babe.”

“I don't think I wanna keep going with this game anymore.” your husband said with wide eyes, laughing a bit albeit nervously “I don't think I can handle to find out any more news.”

“Oh man!” Hemsworth clapped his hands, still laughing his off at his friend “You're so done.”

“Oh no, don't think you're off the hook too Hemmy.” you pointed at him with a grin “Elsa tells us all about you when she's able to join!” you pointed out and his smile immediately vanished.

“Not laughing anymore, are you Hemmy?” your husband teased his friend who had a horrified look on his face now.

“I really think those sleepovers need to come to an end, like immediately.” he shook his head “I surely had not imagined the interview going this way. Had you?” he asked the interviewer who laughed and shook his head saying “No”

“Oh get over yourselves boys, it's a girls' thing, don't fuss so much over it. Besides, the damage has already been done you know so-” you turned back to the interviewer “Let's go on with the next one, yeah?”

“Sounds like a good idea!” he agreed as both Chrises shared a look anyway “And this, is what we've got.”

“Oh that's easy, shoulders!” Hemsworth said right off the bat until his smile fluttered “Whose though?”

“Ah that's the hard thing.” you nodded your head, arms crossed over your chest as you relaxed in your chair “They look female could they be... Scarlett Witch? Yes? No, I don't know.”

“Seriously you guys, that's not even hard. It's (Y/n)'s shoulders!” your husband said with confidence.

“Really?” you raised an eyebrow just as the interviewer swiped to the next photo and exclaimed “Yes!” and made you and Hemsworth look at it in surprise, muttering “Wow I don't even know my own shoulders.”

“You're right. Evans is right about a photo that concerns (Y/n), why am I not surprised?” Hemsworth asked with a laugh and probably a sly smirk and you giggled “You recognised that awfully too fast, you know that right?”

“Excuse me!” Evans exclaimed “Do you even think I do anything else in my entire day besides worship this woman? Hell no! Admire everything in her? Yeah, maybe that too. Think about her all the time? Sure, of course. Wonder how in the heck I am the luckiest man on Earth to have her? You bet! Plus-” he looked back at the interviewer “Have you see this woman?” he motioned at you with both his hands as you hid your burning face behind your hands “How could I ever even try to shut up about her! I can talk all day about her and not be anywhere near done. Because, yep, this is my gorgeous wife! And those are her wonderful shoulders which I can proudly say are way too hot for my old heart to take sometimes!”

“Chris, stop!” you grabbed hold of his arm and hid your face behind his shoulder as he laughed beautifully, kissing the top of your head “But wait- Seriously, is that why you can't keep your hands off when I wear a tank top?” the question was mostly rhetorical but the smile on his face was enough of an answer.

“Stop? Please, he's just getting started and we all know it!” Hemsworth said with a laugh of his own “I'd tell you to get married already but- you've already done that!”

“I've got one proud husband huh?” you peeked over his shoulder with a shy smile “Sorry for all this PDA guys, he literally never can stop. Doesn't help that he's also my biggest fan.”

Chris laughed when you pressed a couple kisses on his cheek, before he added “I sure am and I'm hella proud about it as well!” he smiled cheekily “But I'll tell you: there isn't a single part of hers that I wouldn't recognize in an instant but even more so those shoulders!” both Chris and the interviewer glanced at him as you were already grinning “What do you think I love to massage every night after we're done filming? Granted, I always started from her shoulders and ended up elsewhere but-” he grinned more when you giggled.

“Not like you didn't too eagerly offer to give me that massage, Evans.” you teased.

“Eh, not guilty.” he shrugged casually “But really-” he looked away from you “Every time. I swear to you, every single time it lead to more, so can you blame me for asking more of it? Nope. I mean, how do you think we already have a kid back home huh?”

“He just doesn't pull outta anything, that's how!” you pointed out and they all burst into laughter.

“Oh I always love to find out new things about you guys but I think that we're running out of time, so I'm going on with the next photo! Let's see who will figure it out first.”

“Oh oh that's...” Hemsworth tilted his head to the side “Looks like clothing. Could be a back o-or a chest? I don't know, is it? Probably Renner's.” he asked but he got a “No” in return.

“Come on that's probably the easiest you could throw at us and, even more, me!” you said with a confident smile, especially as you glanced at your husband to see he had a sly grin on his lips “And judging by the mere look on this man's face-” you pointed at him “Then I am not 100% sure I am 100% right.” you grinned widely “Not that I could ever like literally ever mistake that body part for anything or anybody else's. Nope. It's perfect and it's round just the way it should, it's soft and it's incredible. It's-” you could barely hold back your own laughter when Chris chuckled next to you “It's America's ass! More specifically, it's his ass.”

“Chris Evans's ass, you say. Chris, you seem to know the answer hm?”

“Oh yes, it's my tush.” he said cheekily and you laughed, nodding your head when the interviewer swiped to the next photo and revealed it was indeed Chris “It's my tushy, I told you.” lips adorably pursed he nodded his head “But you should take her word for this even more than mine, I'll tell you.”

“Chris is totally right.” you agreed “That's my hubby's ass right there and I know it better than anything in the world! It's one of the reasons I married him anyway.” you shrugged with a casual grin “Besides, where do you think my hand stays all the time, every time I'm next to this guy?” you pointed to Chris who was laughing and nodding his head “Grab it, hold it, slap it on the occasion, squeeze it for sure. You know, the whole-” you giggled a bit when both men were about to fall of their seats from laughter at your words “The whole package. Even if we're in public, doesn't matter. Gonna lay my claim on him and that tushy, as he calls it. Sometimes he could just be sitting and I'll go like “Hon, get up. I wanna admire and love your ass!” and you know what? He'll actually get up!”

“Hey man, can't say no to some lovin' from my wife, am I right?” Chris shrugged with a cheeky smile.

“Deep down I think I agreed to marry him just so I could do all that whenever I want to. Must admit, the ability to do that feels incredible up to this day and I sure as heck am not getting tired of it!”

“Something tells me you too could talk about his ass all day huh?”

“Or she could grab it all day too!” our husband pointed out and this time you couldn't hold your own laughter. You shrugged casually, as if it was so simple.

“I wouldn't have hesitated a second but I did because of the suit it's in. Granted, I'm more used to seeing it without clothes wether it be in out bed or the kitchen in the mornings but-” you paused when both men's laughter doubled “But I think I can recognize it with any sort of clothing from now on. Spent far too many hours admiring it all these years you know. Oh that perfect curve, nothing can compare!”

...

“Admiring it... with or without clothes?” Hemsworth asked with a smirk.

“What kind of question even is that?” you scoffed a laugh “Of course without! I try to get him naked 24/7 by hiding his clothes, duh.”

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kettle-on · 4 years

Text

George Harrison x gardener!reader

Chapter 2

At last!! The joining chapter!

George is here!

This ended up much longer than I meant it to be, but... c’est comme ca la vie!

Read on :)

*this picture is from a map made of Friar Park by Alan Tabor in 1914

_______________________

A three-day stretch of sunshine and warm weather is rare for this time of year, but I’m grateful for it as I sit with my cup of tea and perched on a stool in the garden kitchen. It’s become my designated spot to spend my lunch break - when not drinking in the view from the window, I can keep my head down in here quietly and out of anyone’s way.

It’s Wednesday, and I’ve managed to get through the past two days on mostly tea and biscuits. It’s been fairly straightforward so far, and I’ve observed progress on one or two large plinth displays, been shown around an expanse of pine trees, almost got to investigate the alpine garden and mini Matterhorn but not quite yet, and have finally been able to lay my hands on a dogwood bush in an area I’m told was once called “The Paddock.”

I am glad for the easing-in process. What a nightmare it would be to screw up somewhere prominent at a place like this; so large and visible, and so well-loved and historic.

I take a grateful swig of my brew as a shout comes from the doorway to the hall,

“A-ha!”

Bravely, I sneak a glance up to the source of the voice and am instantly breathless.

He looks softer and greyer than I’d imagined, but I’d still know those eyes anywhere: the man of the house, George Harrison himself.

“They said you’d arrived, but I was beginning to think I was being swindled,” he reveals a toothy grin. “George.”

I appreciate that he not only still bothers to introduce himself, but he already knows my name, too.

For all I’d learned about him being the quiet, mysterious Beatle, and the moody dark horse, he is all lightness and giving. With his arms wide, he leans attentively onto the island counter across from me, and I feel as if I could unravel right there before him.

He scans my face with eagerness and I realize I have yet to say a single word.

“Well, I’ve…” Breathe. Keep your cool. “I’ve only been here since Monday, so...” I manage to offer, my eyes dancing across the surface in front of me and settling on my almost empty mug of tea, “It’s a big lot. Plenty of space to hide.”

He’s quiet but he hasn’t moved. I dare myself to return my gaze to his face, and it’s only now that I notice the sparkle in his eyes. How is he still this handsome? The deep lines across his famous dark brows remind me of tree bark, and I wonder how many years of scowling they took to develop. Then I make the mistake of letting my eyes drift to his mouth, now in a crooked and thoughtful closed smile.

“What do you make of it so far? Gettin’ on all right?” he asks, quickly peering into my almost empty mug before heading over to the kettle. He fills it with water up to the top line, and it looks like we’ll be here a while.

“It’s beautiful. Olivia started to give me a tour when I arrived, but we had to cut it short. From what I’ve seen so far, I can see how you’d never want to leave.”

He opens a cupboard to take out a mug for himself, but even with his back facing me he makes sure to look over his shoulder, listening intently.

I continue, “I’m glad to be starting small, to be honest. I’ve been sorting out those bushes by the pool.”

“I see. Shoved you ‘round the back, did they?” There’s the grin again, and the unmistakable smile lines I recognize from various old video clips I’d seen floating around the internet.

“Yeah,” I manage, narrowly avoiding a giddy sigh.

“Well, I’ve been working on the garden for, oh, fifty years, is it? You should have seen it then, all buried in rubbish and brambles and debris. Horrible. But, as you say, you start with the little things, whatever you can manage, and you start to get an understanding of what you’re working with, you know. It’s easy to be overwhelmed.”

Leaning back against the counter with his arms folded, it’s clear he’s used this plan of operations many times.

“But there’s always a little unhappy area that just needs someone to come along and give it some careful attention.”

The kettle bubbles along, lending a soundtrack to the butterflies I’m trying to subdue in my stomach, and George points to my cup of tea, inquiring if I’d like another. I smile in agreement and quickly gulp down what’s left, and then offer the mug in all its floral print glory back to him,

“Thank you.”

His eyes linger on my face for just a moment before he returns to the counter. I look out the window again, and begin to piece together the circumstances of my current situation. This is George Harrison’s house. This is where I work. I’ve trained for years on my own and on teams in classrooms and greenhouses, learned the Latin names and all about colour theory and garden design. I’ve aggravated a dodgy hip many times over from shoveling dirt in the rain. I’ve earned very little money all the while, but look what it’s come to: I get to come here every day, and soak in the history and whimsy of such a magical place. How lucky am I?

“This wasn’t you, was it?” asks George after it dawns on me that he’d been humming something familiar for the past few minutes.

“Sorry?”

“Nickin’ all my tea bags. I’m sure I filled this up at the weekend,” he states, demonstrating a single tea bag nestled in the pale blue china caddy, ironically labelled ‘tobacco’.

It wasn’t me, and luckily he believes me. A few of the gardeners I hadn’t yet met had been in and out since my lunch break began, but I wouldn’t dare be a snitch and reveal them as the culprits. Nevertheless, George’s efforts to make a brew for himself are thwarted when he finds the usual spot for the box of tea bags empty.

“This is outrageous!” he feigns fury. “Nevermind. Come on, I’ll show you where I keep the good stuff.”

Without a second thought, I follow him out to the vegetable garden where one of the gardeners I haven’t met yet is checking the progress of some turnips.

“All right, Vijay?” calls George. For a man of his age he’s quite speedy, but decades of singing and stress, (and smoking, I recall) have left his voice fairly scratchy when he tries for volume.

Vijay responds with cool pleasantries, and my host takes care of our introductions.

“If you’re after any veg for your table, he’s your man.” George explains, and Vijay’s bashful smile returns him to his notes.

We carry on our trek, past more beds of herbs, vegetables, and if my nose is to be believed, there are blueberries somewhere nearby.

The song George is humming sounds a bit like a Johnny Cash tune, and he builds his production with finger snaps and whistles.

The hedges here seem to go on for miles, and it’s a few minutes before we reach the end of this garden. The path leads down a slope where it meets the service driveway and disappears among some tall trees.

“No, I don’t think I’ll take you into the forest today, but remind me. I think you’ll like it. A nice old fashioned Lovers’ Walk.”

I blink at him, my mouth having fallen open slightly on the journey.

Instead, we cross to the right, to the grand chateau itself.

“I feel like I’m not supposed to be here,” I confess as we near a huge stone doorway like the one I met my first morning.

“You don’t have to come in if you don’t want to. But I think you might want to,” he toys with me, and the lines around his mouth hold back a knowing laugh.

“Yeah, all right, go on then,” I pretend to be cool and casual, and my trickery works.

It’s dark in here. This is a back way after all, but that doesn’t preclude the walls from their own ornaments and paintings. I pass beneath a brass swan seeming to emerge from the woodwork, and follow George over to a room that he almost facetiously calls a pantry.

“Shall we take our tea in the courtyard today?” he asks with all the put-on poshness of a John Cleese character, then returning to his normal manner to inquire,

“Or do you have work to be getting back to?”

Checking the time on my phone, I’m relieved to see my lunch hour isn’t up yet.

“I’ve got twenty minutes, how’s that?”

“All the time in the world!” he roars, shuffling over to a built-in set of shelves that nearly reach the ceiling.

He lets out a cheer when he finds it, and turns to me grinning to proudly display the box of tea we’d come all this way for.

Yorkshire Gold.

#george harrison #george harrison fanfic #george harrison x reader #george harrison x gardener reader #george harrison fluff #gardener fanfic #gardener reader #friar park #friar park fanfic #beatles fluff #beatles fanfic #beatles fanfiction #the beatles

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britishchick09 · 4 years

Text

sherlock s2 ep 1 livewatch

welcome to a new (cumber)batch of eps! i’m excited to see all the iconic moments in this one :D

i haven’t even played the dvd yet and it’s glorious :’)

ooh it starts with a ‘previously’!!!

JIM MOIARTY HIIII!!!! :D

moiarty is amazing (and this recap is so dramatic!)

OMG SHERLOCK NECK FRECKLE! :o

also seeing the old channel 8 logo in the corner is so cool! :D

HOLD UP why is bee gees playing

IS MOIARTY A BEE GEES FAN???

‘staying alive’ lol funny since he’s about to get shot :D

moiarty: “SAY THAT AGAIN!!!!!” say that again QUIETER MOIARTY GEEZ

and he just walks away!!!

shoe sherlock cool

sherlock 2 NOW

oh no it’s irene alder...

masterpiece INTRO YAAAASSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

me watching sherlock be like:

the masterpiece trust is just rich people cool

omg the viking river cruises spon is the same as today! :D

woah they’re playing a movie trailer! :o

it’s a british movie obviously and i’ve never heard of it OBVIOUSLY

the scottish host guy is talking and i love it :D

host: “his mind has more apps than an iphone” lol

“a series of his three most famous cases begins! are you ready?” HECK YEAH LET’S GOOOO!!!!!!

YAS the blog scene!

sherlock: “what are you typing?” john: “a blog... about us”

lady: “i think my husband is having an affair.” sherlock: “yes”

sherlock thinks cases are boring except

sherlock ‘cases don’t need titles’ holmes

WOAH SHERLOCK JUST TOLD A LITTLE GIRL THAT DEAD PEOPLE BURN :o

lestrade: “any ideas?” john: “eight so far” wowza :o

sherlock ‘don’t mention the unsolved cases’ holmes

glasseslock!!!!! :D

eyyyyyyyy ;D

people want pics of sherlock and john do johnlockers exist in this universe? :o

lol :D

irene is seductively putting her hand on lockie’s newspaper pic ewww :(

mrs. hudson hates the fridge

THUMBS IN THE FRIDGE FRIDGE THUMBS

mrs. hudson: “BOYS YOU’VE GOT ANOTHER ONE!!!’ *insert meme here*

ooh it spins into a flashback!

OMG JOHNLOCK VID CHAT!!!!

sherlock’s in the sheet! :o

*phone rings* sherlock: SHUT. UP!!!!” lol :D

john’s holding his laptop around lol :D

john: ‘there’s a mute button and i will use it” aka the 2020 president debates

woah some random guys are in lockie’s house and john needs a helicopter what’s up with that????

BUCKINGHAM PALACE YAAAASSS!!!!!!!

john looks under...

giggly!!!!!

♥

mycroft is the queen now

BOI LOCKIE’S LIKE ‘what for?’ TO PUT PANTS ON OMMGGGGGGG

john smol be like :o

guy: “mr holmes the younger”

LOCK BUTT LOCK BUTT NOOOOOOO

john be like o///o ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

o lockie’s’s in clothes again :/

mycroft doesn’t trust the secret service welcome to america

i don’t like irene not because there’s apparently a thing between her and sherlock but because she’s a bit creepy!

THERE LIKE THAT!

sherlock: “photographs of whom?” ooh how fancy

sherlock: “laters!!” lol! :D

irene’s friend is named kate like channel 8 being called ‘kaet’! :D

fashionista! :o

yes this is ‘the right armor’ lockie

john: “you didn’t even change your clothes!” lol :D

sherlock: “go on punch me in the face” lol :D

watson: “i always hear ‘punch me in the face’ when you’re speaking in subtext” ...wut o_O

WORST BATTLE DRESS EVER NNNOPE IMMA HEAD OUT

are sherlock and irene being shipped because they were naked in the same up

irene: “i could cut myself slapping your face” louise belcher wants your number

bi john when he sees irene: o///o “...i’ve missed something haven’t i?”

sherlock isn’t affected by naked irene thus i headcanon him as aro/ace (or even demi/ace in john’s case like my own holmes character) thank you and good night

irene just sits her bare butt on the chair why

JOHN SISTER NANI???? :o

also this font is so basic WHY LOCKIE

irene: “somebody loves you” *glances at john* ok i like her a tad she gets it ;)

john: “put something on, please. like.. a napkin?” lol :D

irene’s like ‘why’ JUS LIKE SHERLOCK BUT I SHALL NOT SHIP THIS SHIP THE SHOW IS TRYING TO SHIP

also john giggles at naked sherlock and is like ‘plz no’ with naked irene (although i would be too that lady is OUT THERE)

ooh antiques roadshow! :D

also she’s dressed like lockie NO

irene: “brainy is the new sexy” plz no :(

she took her clothes off ‘to make an impression’ yep

WAIT they were just outside now they’re back in wut???

irene was born in the 80s cool :D

WOAH why are there more guy with guns?

and *le gasp* AN AMERICAN????

DON’T SHOOT JOHN AMERICAN!!!

ooh what was the code? :o

EPIC SLOW MO FIGHT YOOOOOO

DANNNNG IRENE JUS GUN SMACKED A GUY

sherlock just flipped a phone LIKE A FLIP PHONE OHHHH

irene is number 1 sherlock fan besides john confirmed

at first i thought it was a fandom phrase but it’s not! :o

WHY DID IRENE JUST PUNCH SHERLOCK

SHE’S WHIPPING HIM????

this reminds me of a certain sw ship... :(

yeah i don’t ship them AT ALLLLLL NOW

the key code is irene’s measurements DOES SHE MEAN...

the camera’s spinning FLASHBACK???

woah are they in the case?? this could be sherlock’s mind palace!

irene: “you got that just from one look? definitely the new sexy” NONONONONOO

outside bed

awww sweet bby ;)

did john tuck him in?

CRAP it was ireneeeeee >:(

the way she says ‘hush now it’s ok...’ is like count olaf in the hostile hospital when he drugs violet :o

LOCKIE’S FIRST WORDS WHEN WAKING UP WHERE JOHN awwww :D

OMG DID JOHN REALLY TUCK HIM IN awwww!!!!!!! ♥

lestrade filmed loopy sherlock lol :D

john: “ahhh back to bed!” awww :)

sherlock: “iiii’m fine i’m absolutely fine!!!’ drugged sherlock is a treasure ♥

sherlock: ”why would i need you?” john: “no reason at all” :)

ew was that an irene phone moan gross

DID SHERLOCK CHANGE HIS TEXT NOTIF TO THAT???

mrs. hudson: “family is all we have in the end, mycroft holmes!” mycroft: “oh shut up, mrs. hudson!” john: “my-“ sherlock: “MYCROFT!!!!” lol :D

mrs. hudson: “it’s a bit rude that noise isn’t it?” indeed!!

sherlock: “you can follow her on twitter” TWITTER IN THE HOLMESVERSE????

sherlock: “there’s more! much more” but wait... THERE’S MORE!

LOCKIE VIOLIN!!!!! :D

THE CHRISTMAS THING WASN’T A FAN MANIP HOLY YAS!!!!!!!! :D

cool sweater john!!! :D

molly: ‘having christmas drinkies then?” wallace wants walkies thank you very much

john: “she’s off the booze!” sherlock: “nnnope” john: “shut up sherlock” lol

john to sherlock: ‘take a day off” lockie doesn’t know the concept mr doc

DID SHERLOCK NAME MOLLY CRY???? :o

HE KISSED HER????

sherlock still has the irene moan after all this time WHY

finding irene on christmas coolio :D

molly: “how did sherlock recognize her by... without her face?” ;)

sherlock smoking bad >:(

WOAH IS IRENE DEAD?????

VIOLIN YAS!!!! :D

smiley smiley :)

awww sherlock plucked a bit :)

OH CRAP IRENE’S BACC

john: “you flirted with sherlock holmes? “someone jellyyyy ;)

OOHH THIS IS THE IRENE JOHNLOCK SCEEENE!!!!!!! :D

irene: “you jealous?” john: “we’re not a couple!” irene: “yes you are.” ;)

john: “i’m not actually gay” irene: “well i am” IRENE LESBIAN GOOD!!!!

irene: “look at us both” (or perhaps bi like john could be...?)

biiiiiig door creak

UGH american... >:(

someone comfort mrs. hudson!! :(

sherlock: “take away your boys. it makes up for too much stupid in the room” he’s surrounded by idiots...

OMG SHERLOCK PEPPER SPRAYYY

awww he’s comforting mrs. hudson :)

john comfort! ♥

the guy’s tied up like the foody moody in bob’s burgers cool :D

awww mrs. hudson’s in shock :(

sherlock: “mrs. hudson leaving baker street? england would fall!” awww! :D

john says ‘alive’ like an irish guy :D

OMG IT’S NEW YEAR!!!!

happy violin new year! :D

sherlock’s xraying a phone lol

john said ‘in your bedroom’ BUT IT’S HIS AND SHERLOCK’S

and irene’s! :o

sherlock: “who wants to kill you?” irene: “killers” lol :D

sherlock said ‘the strand’!!!! :D

irene looks better without lipstick :)

the code is ‘i am SHERlocked’ HOW DO THEY NOT KNOW???

random john middle name reveal lol :D

FOR BABY NAMES NOOOO

john’s is hamish and eugene’s (from tangled) is hoarace... it’s the weird h middle name club! :D

sesame street time :D

...what in the world did sherlock just spout

john said ‘flight double o 7′ JAMES BOND REFERENCE????

MYCROFT IS SAYING ‘BOND ERE IS GO’ yep that’s bond!!!

sherlock didn’t notice john was gone for 2 hours lol :D

ooh sherlock says ‘second world war’ instead of ‘world war two’ :o

NONONONONNONONONONNOOOOOOOOO

sherlock: “that’s not the end of the world, that’s mrs. hudson” lol :D

mycroft: “that’s the deceased, always late” hey yeah :o

WOAH HE JUST CALLED SHERLOCK NAIVE AND IRENE A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS :o

oh hey irene

irene: “jim moiarty sends his love” ha ha funny love :D

WAIT MOIARTY CALLS SHERLOCK A VIRGIN??? :o

THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS NOOOOO

bada bing BADA BOOM!!!!!!!!!

wowza it’s been 6 months since they met???

sherlock: “sorry about dinner” *leaves* yesss :)

i’m glad they didn’t kiss and just held hands that was nice to make johnlock dreams fly :)

OMG IRENE LEGIT DIED THIS TIME BY BEHEADING!!!!! :o

john told sherlock she was in amurica good :)

lockie wants her camera phone aww :(

way better than any hand holding irene and sherlock did! ♥

awww irene texted sherlock goodbye :(

ew the irene moan one last time...

sherlock laughed and called her ‘a woman... the woman’ awww :)

that was a bittersweet ending! :)

aaaand it’s over!

next time... ;)

that was a great season premiere!!! irene was kind of cool (i like how she and sherlock were just friends) and the mystery was engaging as always. and of course... it was nice finally hearing lockie’s violin!! here’s to next time! :D

#livewatch #these always take forever but they're fun!

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elmaxlys · 4 years

Note

21 QUESTIONS FOR JUOKA, LETS GO! 3 4 5 6 11 12, also 20 because I am acutally curious ! (i shall ask the other ones in another question)

ALRIGHT THEN HELL YEAH 👀👀👀

3) What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing?

Fav trope is obviously enemies to lovers because come on XD

But favorite AU, oh boy. I have so many of them how do I choose... But probably any canon divergence AU in which Juo survives - be it against his will (as in Yuri got close enough and grabbed him by force) or because his “don’t want to die”-ness was strong enough to overshadow his convictions and he took her hand. The infamous Redemption Arc AU that lives in my brain and I haven’t written one line for because I have too many versions of the same thing lmao i just really like that AU

HOWEVER I can’t not mention the Juo’s Apostle AU here. I rarely ever talk about it but damn... Rika as Juo’s Apostle... I don’t even have any definite or real idea for this AU other than “wow. that’d be dope” but jesus christ the simple idea of it puts sparkles in my eyes

4) Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them?

I’m gonna go with canon, here. Miura’s characters are pretty solid yet, in Juo’s case, vague enough to allow hc to fit in without disrupting canon. And their storyline is why I ship them so much in the first place. Also they both incredibly stick to character all along and that’s very hot of Miura to stay consistant in depiction. We say “Thank you Miura”

5) Favorite canon moment of them?

*inhales* YOU ASKED *talks about the Juo arc for so long you’ve stopped reading after the first few paragraphs but it goes on for 50 pages*

I’m only half kidding, because my fav canon moment of them is every single of their interactions and I could go on so long... They’re constantly trying to outsmart the other, to try to manipulate the other into lowering guard, but they’re so evenly matched both in terms of brains and in terms of raw power that they just can’t and they’re stuck and jfc the tension, the undressing, the shameless flirting. The entire phone conversation.

Tho if I really have to chose, it’d be either “If I have a demand, it’s you” or both of the “I surrender please don’t kill me”.

6) Least favorite canon moment of them?

It’s kind of fucked up on my part but I love the ugly parts of their relationships. That’s what it’s like to ship enemies. I can’t answers the threats, the manipulations or the murder attempts because that’s what their interactions are made of and that’s what I like. For the first seconds they saw each other they already went the full “hey let me just point a gun at your face while you manipulate me into not killing you despite how much I really should do exactly that”. I saw that and went “nice 👀”

11) If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together?

OKAY SO. HEAR ME OUT.

The mask proposal and then boom- careful it gets long

It’d go approximately like this: canon divergent of course but: Juo manages to stop Okihara from destroying the mask or kills Okihara so he doesn’t use the mask he kept for Rika. Then they get on the helicopter and Juo gets the code before allowing Rikuya from seeing it. Having seen the code, Juo is strong enough to resist the Administrator who took Rikuya’s body (then if okihara isn’t dead yet, Admin kills him because heh). Then either Juo pushes him off either Yuri just shows up for their fight and takes them elsewhere. We now have 2 almost full gods + one complete devil. Yuri fights the Admin, defeats him and becomes the new Admin, leaving our final two god candidates to the last level (that we actually don’t know of. how fucked up is that)

So. Judges VS Juo. Juo is like “whatever I only wanted the code because it sounded fun you can be God if you want” and the Judges are like. Bitch we went through all this just for that? And Juo’s like *shrug emoji* “I wanted to test something tho” *takes out his mask* “I want a proper fight with Rika-kun” and Rika is like dude seriously? i sorted my intensities, I’m as strong as the mfing Judge here why would you want to make me wear a mask to then fight me and Juo really doesn’t care because come on that’d be so fun. and they do fight. Rika becomes a 2nd Juo and Juo is having fun. But they’re of equal power. Juo has some vague thoughts of “ah I don’t want to die” like every time but then he realizes that it’s the last fun thing he could do. he’s so powerful no fight will ever have flavor again, you know?

Fighting Rika was his goal and he accomplished it, he didn’t get him to beg but he’s fulfilled but also really really empty now that it’s over so they’re both like huh. I can’t kill you you can’t kill me what up with that and Rika refuses to give up because hey his family, man. So Juo. Man Juo would tell Rika to kill him. No irony, no fake smile, just a tired but honest one, if a little sad, and Rika lowers his hammer like. No. I won’t give you the satisfaction of having me kill you. You were right from the beginning, I won’t kill an unarmed human that’s not resisting. And Juo is like “dude there can’t be two Juos anyway that’s against the rules” and rika is like “that was your idea in the first place wtf” and yuri is like “i make the rules” and, just like she was so ready to give him a second third chance in canon when she jumped to save him, she fully recognizes both Juos as one (like the Judges, you know?) and Juo is like okay yeah I was wrong, that’s nice. And he has an excuse to hold onto Rika because none of them can stand straight on his own

Bam, they’re married by the Admin power and they work through their issues together and Rika slowly accepts his title as Juo - which would be a metaphor of accepting the actual Juo - and they become real close and none of them really confesses they just. you know. are together. It’s smooth, they move in nebulous waters when it comes to their relationship. they don’t have an anniversary etc. But yeah, they’re together

12) If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why?

I’ve only watched the first season but probably the Walking Dead. It’s gore, it’s violent, it’s post-apocalyptic - it suits them.

20) What made you decide to ship them?

I actually have no idea sskksk I think I’ve shipped them for approximately as long as they’ve been seen interacting so I can’t remember exactly but it probably was a mix of the following elements:

“I’ve been thinking about you all this time”

man, the sexual tension in this room o_O

man, they’re both hot, they’d look well together and also I’m crushing hard on both of them so, you know,,,

“If I have a demand it’s you”

“I’m glad to see you, Rika-kun”

everything about Juo

his every line

how alike they are

shipping my faves together because why the hell not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

oh.

oH.

OH.

UTAREN VIBES HOLY SHIT (was my ultimate otp at the time etc but that probably was on a less conscious level than the one i’m writing here because I’m a dumb idiot that only realized the similarities recently)

I just really like the bad boy x good person trope, okay? even more than the actual enemies to lovers (that I enjoy a lot)

all of that buried under the stupid guilt of “yo hey why would I ship them that’s so messed up haha,, ha :’)))” that made me deny to myself that I shipped them for a loooong time

#long post #sorry about the length i'm really passionate about them #but thank you so much for asking about them ;v;#juoka #juo #suzuki emiri #honjo rika #tenkuu shinpan #romance

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alirasworlds · 4 years

Text

Omiri: Help me....

[A/N: I... Don’t really know how to explain this oneshot? I’ve been playing the game Omori lately, and god damn it’s, I’m relating to it a lot more than I thought I would, mainly in how the protag is. So as per my norm I ended up writing this after the scene in question happened.

Note, I, didn’t really think of using the protag(Sunny I’ve seen people call him? I named him Mono in my file so...), as with most games I tend to, insert a version of myself into it or use a oc to better help me figure out their headspace and how to write the world so to speak, plus I DID see there was concept art of a female Omori/Sunny, so I’ve, sort of used that here and tried to expand on a verse where I guess Sunny/the protag was a girl? With a fair amount of differences and my own additions I will eventually explain in a few cases? However I came up with my own designs for this character’s IRL form and dream self I’ll share later and she’s got her own name.

To keep this somewhat on track and so people don’t hopefully get mad at me if I title it Omori, I’ve decided to call this verse “Omiri”, as it wasn’t until after I decided on that name that I realized Omori is from the word Hikikomori, and since I believe a character swap au where Mari and Sunny swap place for one reason or another(I’ve been avoiding spoilers as best I can so I don’t fully know why) is the Hikiki verse, or something, soo Omiri works so hopefully people don’t get mad?

Anyway, the protag’s name is as follows, note I may change her real world name as I went for my default one involving part of my URL I normally use until I figure out a different one. IRL: Alira Omi Dream: Omiri

Note she is still related to Mari like Sunny is. Scene is when you’re over at Basil’s house for dinner. And with that I shall shush and let the fic speak for itself XD]

Alira froze when she heard Kel tell Basil she was moving, head immediately snapping up from her plate to look at Basil, who had completely froze, his hand dropping his spoon back into the bowl as he looked at Kel.

Kel, you dummy…!

“W-What? …” Basil’s tone was that of pure shock, expression one of a forced smile, and it made Alira want to hug him. “Alira’s… m-moving...?”

Kel, ever the oblivious one, continued. “Oh yeah! I thought I already mentioned it…” He took another bite of his food before going on. “I must have forgot.” Another bite. “She’s moving in… three days, I think?” He took another bite, but paused and gave an apologetic smile to Basil. “Sorry... I thought you already knew.”

“O-Oh… Uh...” his voice and smile were shaky, fragile, hardly holding it together. “No, I guess I must have missed it…” His expression cracked, just the slightest. “S-Sorry… Umm…” He pulled his expression together enough to make an embarrassed smile. “M-May I be excused? I… I have to go to the bathroom.”

Polly gave him a nod and he quickly got up from his seat, rushing to the doorway to the rest of his house, but he paused and looked back at Alira, expression one of him close to tears, before he bolted into the hallway out of sight.

“What’s up with him?” Kel asked to no one in particular as Alira stared after her best friend, heart beating painfully in her chest as something painful gripped her heart. “Well, that’s just how it is. When you gotta go, you gotta go!”

“...If there are any leftovers, put them in a bag please, I like this.” Alira softly said as she quickly stood up, bowl still having some of the soup, and rushed after Basil after she put his photo album he gave her in her bag.

She looked at the door she remembered led to the bathroom and saw the light was off, regardless, she went over and entered.

“Everything is going to be okay…. Everything is going to be okay….” Even with the lights off, she could still see well enough to see Basil, gripping at his head, and shaking as he stood there, desperately saying to himself. “Everything is going to be okay… Everything is going to be okay…”

She could also see what looked to be a dark shadow on the floor, in the shape of vines or roots coming from a tree, pulsing beneath his feet. Her mind immediately recognized it as something like, the thing haunting her….

The door behind her shut with an audible click as the knob slipped from her grip, causing Basil to whirl around to look at her, clearly startled as he said shakily. “O-Oh… It’s you… Alira…” He forced a smile. “You’re here… I’m so glad…”

She stepped towards him in concern as he then asked. “You… You can see it too, can’t you? Something… behind you….”

She felt the hair on the back of her neck, with her hair currently up in that loose bun Basil had generously done for her earlier, standing up on end at that as she felt that familiar feeling of her Something right behind her.

Her expression quirked in fear, and she forced herself to not look at the mirror behind Basil as she walked up to him, and where he got a better look at her expression, which he was quick to ask about as his own quirked in concerned fright. “Alira… W-Why… Why do you look so scared?”

She felt her hand shaking as she brought up her hand to bite on the side of it in an attempt to calm herself, shutting her eyes as she shakily tried to will it to go away. “It’s not behind me it’s not behind me…” She breathed in, calming down just enough to open her eyes and walk up to the bathroom mirror. It was not going to be there, it couldn’t, it shouldn’t, she told it to go away...

“It’s not there... it’s not there... it’s not-” The desperate mantra she was uttering stopped, when she spotted that black mass, with the one eye, peering at her from over her shoulder. Staring, haunting, judging-

She inhaled sharply as she stepped back, eyes filling with tears without delay, and she spun around before crashing into Basil, almost knocking him over as she latched onto him in the form of a hug, shaking like a leaf like he was.

She couldn’t speak, her throat shut with fear and fright, but despite this Basil was quick to react and latch onto her in return, grip almost like a vice and tight but also… Gentle.

She tried to catch her breath, tried to force herself to calm down, but it wasn’t working, that THING WAS BEHIND HER-

“Alira…” Basil’s voice, she latched onto that sound, trying so hard to focus on that instead of the thing behind her. “Everything is okay now, isn’t it?”

She took a few moments to breathe, and nodded once she felt she calmed down a bit. “I… I think….” She certainly calmed down enough to speak at least.

After a few moments, she let go of Basil, stepping back to give him room once he very reluctantly let go of her, still holding onto her hands though. Her hands, delicate like his own, but thinner clearly.

She smiled at him shakily and opened her mouth to say something, but all she let out was a strangled cry as she felt something wrap around her neck and pull tight.

She gasped for air as she ripped her hands away from Basil’s to claw at her neck, Basil backing up in alarm and fright as he saw that thing behind her wrap some part of itself around her neck, jolting her back as she clawed at it and struggled for air. She couldn’t breathe…!

It was trying to.. It was trying to…! No…!

“N-no! You’re not…!” Basil sprung forward, hands over the pitch black thing around her neck, grasping onto it, and while he felt his own Something stirring beneath his feet, he still managed to wrech the thing away from her neck, allowing her to gasp for air as she stumbled back, eyes wide with pure fear and panic as she visibly shook.

Her eyes filled with tears as she began backing up towards the door, crying out pitifully in a tearful tone. “I… I don’t want to…”

“W...Wait… P-please, Alira…” Basil tearfully begged her as she backed up, reaching out for her. “Don’t leave me… Not again…”

“I…. I… I don’t want to go…!” She sobbed out, her Something pricking at her back and making her cry even more. “I-I want… To stay…! Please, please don’t make me… leave him…!”

She didn’t want to leave, she realized. Not just now, not now when Basil clearly needed support, but to leave at all, she wanted to stay in Faraway, she didn’t want to move when had her mother ever talked about moving she couldn’t remember but she DIDN'T WANT TO-

Despite herself, something in her made her turn around, open the door, and leave despite her best friend’s and her own pleading.

#omori fanfic #omori basil #omori game #omori something #Omori #Omori OC #No I...don't really know what I was doing with this?#I wrote this on impulse and because I legitamately wanted to hug Basil in that scene but the game didn't let me #So I sort of just....made up a reason and this spiralled into this xD #I still need to finish the game mind you to fully understand everything but I'm trying my best #so please be nice....? I haven't posted fanfic online for ages so I'm nervous about this one despite being proud of how it came out #Might talk about this little AU if people want me to...?

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