cyberphuck

[cyberphuck]

I've been trying really hard to imagine things ever getting better and failing. I've been trying to spend time with people that I love only to feel like my presence is a chore. I've been trying to distract myself but no distraction can push back the misery anymore.

I feel like I'm being herded toward a cliff. I'm digging in my heels but I'm running out of ground.

[cyberphuck]

I wish I had a mom.

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Me: hah! I've been so productive today! I'm really proud of myself. Now that I've gotten all that work done, I-- [SURGE OF SUICIDAL IDEATION] Me: ₒh ₙₒ

[cyberphuck]

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Me: *hugs boo boo tight, rubs her ears and smooches her face*

Boo Boo: *soft French horn sounds of contentment*

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Did you know they did that scene in one take? Yeah the actor just went up and did it and they didn't even have to rehearse the lines or anything! In fact they didn't use the original lines at all, the actor ad-libbed the whole thing on the spot, drawing inspiration directly from their life experience, and they kept it in the movie! It was incredible, the actor wasn't even acting, they just dropped all pretense and started talking tearfully and or angrily about someone they loved and or had wronged them and when they were done all of the staff were also crying! No for real that scene wasn't even planned for the movie-- and the actor didn't even know they'd started filming, it was so raw and from the heart! In fact, the actor didn't even know they were DOING a movie, the director had set up a salt lick in the middle of the woods and had the camera man hide in the bushes so they could capture the actor doing what they do best: not acting in any way, doing nothing deliberately, randomly going off script, pretending to fly off the handle and throw shit at their co workers to elicit a "real" reaction, ruining takes with outbursts of emotion, and disrespecting the director, the other actors, and everybody on set by wasting their time and making shit up as they go along! Yeah bro that actor never had any training at all and they didn't even audition-- they'd been sleeping in a supply closet and fell out onto the floor when someone went to get paint! And then the director, who is the only person who makes decisions on the project besides the actors who just do whatever, decided that actor was PERFECT for the part, and then the actor said they would do it for free and--

[cyberphuck]

Remember:

never talk to a cop, even if you know you’ve done nothing wrong!

Ask for a lawyer

even if they say you don’t need one!

(They’re allowed to lie to you!)

Cops aren’t your friends!

ACAB :)

[cyberphuck]

Wip

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Wip

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The Scarlet Church

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[cyberphuck]

“Got any pictures?” Leon doesn’t ask how I take my coffee, putting the same amount of cream and sugar into both mugs.

“Pictures?”

“Of your dog.” He turns and puts a coffee in front of me. There’s been so much weirdness already today that the surreal image of Leon leaning against a kitchen counter with a cup of coffee in his hand just doesn’t compare. At least now I know he actually eats stuff, or at least drinks it. I’d been almost certain he survived on dust and bitterness. “Your phone can take pictures, right?”

“Y-yeah. Yeah, it can. But I dropped it in the sewer grate,” I remind him. “And by the time I fished it out, the dog was gone. It was just a dog, though, I promise.”

For a few seconds, Leon just looks at me. I try not to cringe down. Then he lifts the mug to his lips and drinks. “Further south you go, the skinnier the native wolves get,” he says. “We covered an outbreak in New Mexico and it was damned hard to tell the wolves from the coyotes. We settled it by putting a bullet in anything that moved.” He drinks again. “Lucas saw eyes in the dark and got off a shot before I could say anything about how tiny they were, and how close to the ground. Turned out he’d wasted a slug on a jackrabbit. I called him ‘bunnyhunter’ for months.”

This feels fragile, a moment made of cobwebs and dandelion fluff, just barely holding together. I’m afraid to breathe, in case I scatter it all, but I want to push it along somehow. “Lucas?”

“My partner.” Leon is looking at the ugly green refrigerator. “The Order always sends Hunters out in pairs. So they can look out for each other. Lucas was the best, fastest shot I’d ever known. I saw him lay down on a hill and put a bullet between a wolf’s eyes from six hundred yards away. Most of the time I’d call out that I had eyes on only to turn and find him grinning at me with his rifle smoking. He didn’t have to think about it, he just did it.”

I don’t bother asking where Lucas is. I’m not stupid.

“He was a much better hunter than I was. A better man.” Leon’s voice drops almost to a whisper, and I wonder if the words are meant for me or someone else. “He was good enough to take the decision away from me, to try to give me some peace.”

Silence bleeds out between us. I guess that he’s done, and I set my coffee mug down on the table with a little *clack* to break the moment.

[cyberphuck]

I'VE KNOWN YOU SINCE 2014?!

Artemis Fowl with palette #16 for cyberphuk

[cyberphuck]

Couples Meme: Artemis/Bad Myles

Who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave

Myles. He stuffed the microwave full of them and set them to cook for forty nine hours. Turns out it was a distraction for the other project he had going in the basement. 

Who forgot to put the cat outside before sex

Artemis puts the cat out; Myles brings it back in. Artemis puts it back out again. Myles builds a touch-sensitive pneumatic tube trap that sucks the cat up, whizzes it through secret pipes in the building, and launches it directly at Artemis’ bare ass. Artemis does not attempt to put the cat out again.

Who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit

They each have a vine account for the other’s embarrassing moments, and are constantly at war over followers. Myles’ most watched vine is “Artemis sings and then shrieks in the shower”; Artemis’ is “The bottom of the shower stall was a hologram and you are now neck-deep in a tub of KY Jelly.”

Who breaks the most phones

Artemis tends to break most of his by accident (Angeline makes him carry a “normal” phone for “normal” purposes, and he’s not as careful with it as his modified phone); Myles loses his temper at dropped calls and pitches his phones at the wall.

Who dies first

Artemis, by suicide. Myles, when D has already taken the first four shots in the chest but can’t stop the fifth from hitting his principal. 

Which one is lactose intolerant

They both are. Myles loves to snuggle up in Artemis’ lap, wriggling around, tickling his fingers under his brother’s shirt, and then revealing quite abruptly that he’d spent the entire afternoon eating cheese.

Who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t

Myles is not aware that he’s a terrible cook. Artemis thinks he’s fantastic in bed.

Who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed

Myles has Icicle Feet and Artemis can’t stand it.

Who uses the computer most

Myles at least has other hobbies; Artemis prefers to be looking at a screen at all times.

[cyberphuck]

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Jesper: Try again. It's got an 'R' in it. Inej: Brick by brick. Ciel: blikku bai blikku. Jesper: Stop saying it so weird! Nina: 「ビット・���イ・ビット」の方が発音しやすいと思います。

Kaz: and I'm going to need you to climb up through the chimney. We're not going to have enough time to let the incinerator to cool down so it's going to get hot in there.

Sebastian: YYYYYYYYYYYYES, my Lord.

Jesper: can you make him stop saying it like that?