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soulwillower · 4 years ago

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if you’re too shy • richie tozier

(richie tozier x cam girl!reader smut)

[based off the song if you’re too shy (let me know) by the 1975.]

requested: i can't find it lol BUT 🤍anon (i think) requested a fic based off of the 1975′s new song, if you’re too shy let me know !!

warnings: swearing, alcohol use, switch!richie kinda, smut, unprotected sex, a tiny bit of cumplay i guess, mentions of phone sex, oral sex (female receiving), face sitting, a bit of dirty talking, UNEDITED as always

also i wrote this in a different style than usual and idk if i like it much but u can let me know what u guys think,, if its weird i can go in and change the povs since its 3rd person richie

[losers + reader are 21+ in this.]

7.4k words lol

♡

i see her online all the time i'm trying not to stare down there while she talks about her tough time

"h-hey, man, who's that?" the voice from right next to richie makes him damn near leap out of his seat. it makes beverly chuckle a bit as she takes a bite of her apple, shaking her head. "it’s nobody." richie says quickly as he tilts his phone towards his chest and shoots a toothy grin to bill. his friend raises his full eyebrows, "wh-what, so n-nobody was sending you n-nudes?"

"something like that." richie mutters, stomach fluttering as the image flashes in his mind’s eye - the curves, the dark red lace, the plush skin painting a perfect scene in richie’s vivid imagination.

richie looks back down at the photo. his his thumbs hover over the profile picture; he'd found her originally on his instagram explore page, the photos teasing and immediately he had to know more. y/n.

and then a few days later, he'd subscribed to her only fans, which he never quite thought he'd do with anyone, but he couldn't help it. she was so enticing, so perfect and so alluring. it was the playfulness that pulled him in; and he swears he's never lusted after somebody like he has with her. it was kind of starting to freak him out.

"is that o-onlyfans?" bill says and richie shoves bill's nosy face off his shoulder with a panicked grunt. "fuck off, mushmouth."

bill laughs and stan and bev perk up from across the table, staring at the two, interests suddenly piqued. "did you subscribe to a girl's onlyfans, rich?" stan says with a grin, setting his pen down on his notebook.

richie just smirks and wiggles his brows a bit, enough to confirm his question. bill chuckles from next to richie.

"let me see." bev says, wiggling her manicured nails in a "gimme" motion. richie hands his phone over with red cheeks. normally he wouldn't care about his friends discovering he's paid money just to see a hot chick's bod, but this was different. for some reason, he felt connected to her. god, that thought made him want to slam his head against a brick wall. she doesn't even know him, for all he knows she could live in the middle of.... montana, or like, ohio.

bev whistles and stan nods, "if i looked like that," bev mumbles as she tosses richie's phone back towards him, "i'd do that too. mad props."

noises of agreement fill the table but richie's just looking at the small smirk that peeks from the corner of one of the photos and he can't help but wonder what her eyes are like in real life. he wishes he could meet her.

girl of your dreams, you know what i mean there's something 'bout her stare that makes you nervous and you say things that you don't mean

it's a cold day when bill and richie find themselves stumbling in to the coffee shop for a drink. bill's muttering about some girl in his creative writing class that gave him head when richie's eyes catch a figure so familiar yet foreign that he stops dead in his tracks. bill turns to him, face confused. "r-richie, what's wrong w-with you?"

richie shakes his head, stammering in disbelief, "that-that's her, bill. the girl, from onlyfans. y/n." he whispers, gesturing with his eyes towards the girl working the register.

bill’s jaw goes slack, green eyes raking over her form and igniting richie’s stomach with boiling rage. as if bill’s doing something that only richie is allowed to do – as if they're not both being total creeps.

“h-holy sh-shit. she’s b-beautiful.” bill mumbles. richie elbows him in the ribs, shooting him a glare that prompts an eye-roll from his auburn haired friend.

richie swallows and watches, his throat feeling like sandpaper as she laughs at something the customer in front of them said. bill nudges richie, "i-i'm gonna get a s-seat. t-talk to her."

he winks and grins as he walks away, leaving richie with his reckless self. he thinks he's sweating through his sweater as he walks up, finding himself face-to-face with her. "hi, how can i help you?" she asks, giving him a smile

holyshitholyshitholyshit.

he might've just came right then and there. okay, he's gotta say something cool, something smooth. don't be a dumbass, tozier.

"howdy, sugar. i'll have my coffee like i like my women." his mouth blurts as his brain sirens go off, PUT ON THE BRAKES, RICH – "a hot shock to the lap.”

she glares at him, cheeks light pink and eyebrows pulled together in annoyance and yep, richie's probably going to get hard because of that look but he's also probably going to toss his body off a bridge because what the fuck, tozier?

he can hear bill laughing quietly from a ways away and he quickly shakes his head, muttering quietly, "jail. jail, richard."

"funny." she deadpans, clearly not amused. because of course she isn't.

"sorry, i'll have a black coffee, y/n." he mutters, eyes widening to himself when he realizes she was not wearing a goddamn name tag and he just said her name.

this is a disaster. she gives him a bewildered, slightly creeped out look and if richie wasn't panicking, he'd gape at how she still managed to be effortlessly gorgeous even now.

he sighs, shaking his head, the door of the cafe opening and blowing a gust of frigid air through the warm room. fitting - douche chill.

"look, toots, i don't want this to be weird. i- um, i recognize you." he says, cheeks aflame. she raises a brow, face straight for a few moments, unsure what he means.

it's not long after when recognition flashes over her own face - must have ruled out coffee shop, university and her local gym - and she nods with a tight, almost uncomfortable smile.

he tries not to think of the livestream he watched last night where she showed all her new gifts and modeled lingerie, and how he’d spent his time to himself with his left hand immediately after watching. his cheeks are red with shame.

"okay." is all she says, writing down a scribbled order on the coffee cup. her eyes shoot back up and give richie a once-over that really makes his fingers itch - god, why did he have to be this way?

he almost runs his fingers through his curls but decides against it, eyes opting to focus on her own gorgeous eyes as they meet him. "i'm impressed i have a fan who looks like you, i must say. even if you are a complete jack ass." she purrs and his jaw nearly smacks the floor at its velocity as it flies open.

"what's that supposed to mean?" he asks then with a small grin, flattered at the tiniest of compliments that just barely, in his mind, eclipsed the insult that he so very much deserved.

"i'm saying you're kind of a dick. it's too bad, because you're real cute." she says casually, handing him his change. his stomach flips and butterflies release in his chest, a feeling that he's not felt in almost five years.

but damn, of course he messed up - he got the chance to talk to the hottest girl on earth and he started it by saying an awful joke that wasn't funny at all. of course she though he was a dick, he is one.

he's shocked, though, as he waits for his coffee with bill, who is still snickering into his hand every few moments, to find his coffee cup with extra sharpie scribbled on the white paper. a name.

y/n. and below it is a phone number with a small heart scribbled, and richie can't tell if it's a seven or a one but he figures he'd try every phone number in the damn state if it meant he could fucking text her. holy fuck.

"maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes i'm not playing with you, baby i think that you should give it a go" she said, "maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes i wanna see, and stop thinking if you're too shy, then let me too shy, then let me know"

he didn't text her for two days and three hours. yes, he counted it. no, he won't think about why he was obsessing over the numbers - but since the time he'd finally had found the courage to text her today, things have escalated proficiently.

she'd just mentioned how hot it was in her apartment since her heater had gone haywire - even though the winter winds were cold, she'd claimed she was burning up in what she was wearing.

and the mere mention of her clothing had sent richie into somewhat of a spiral, spending at least seven minutes glued to his phone and scrolling through the saved album he had of those photos of her that she'd posted; his sweatpants getting increasingly tight and his palm suddenly aching to slip through the fabric and find some release.

but, in true trashmouth fashion, he apparently needed that sweet, sweet rejection from a hot cam girl he'd somehow weaseled into getting the number of in order to wank off properly, so he types out a text and hits send immediately.

what are you wearing?

and then he almost vomits in embarrassment – what was she going to think? did he just royally fuck up? oh god, he’s going to have to shave his head and move to canada.

his phone buzzes and he nearly passes out when he lays his eyes upon the image attached – there her body is again, curvy and full and beautiful, her skin glowing in the fading light of what he assumes is her bedroom. and with it:

this. what are you wearing, rich?

and then he pulls his gaze from his phone and stands, breathing heavily because holy shit.

he's gotten nudes before, but.... none from someone like her. holy shit.

he walks to his bathroom, splashing water on his beet-red cheeks. he swallows, staring at himself in the mirror. fuck.

he slaps his cheek once, then winking at himself in attempt to muster any sliver of confidence. and then he snaps a picture, only in his boxers.

and then he has to physically refrain from making a joke about wearing the same lingerie set as her, instead sending a flirty text that he knows any other woman would blush at. he just doesn’t know with y/n, and maybe that’s why he loves it so much. she's keeping him on his toes.

you like what you see?

he sends that one afterwards, shaking his head because oh my god, she's going to respond with "no" and then bill him $40 for the nude she sent him. not that he wouldn't pay, but...

his phone dings and he nearly breaks an ankle running to his desk.

yeah, i do. but maybe i'd like you better without any clothes on.

he almost yells out loud at this, but he has a feeling that waking up stan in the middle of the night would not be optimal after their 'roommate agreement' they'd made that explicitly states richie cannot scream between 1am - 9am. so instead he smirks to himself, face turning red.

he's getting harder by the moment, and as he stares at that picture she'd sent earlier, he lets out a breathy groan. the lace....

we could face time yk

or we don't have to.

he reads her words in live time, watching the thought bubble appear again and watching it like a hawk. he can just imagine her sitting there with a small smirk as another text comes in and he almost groans as his dick twitches.

like, if you're too shy or something ;)

he stares at the screen for two seconds at that sinful photo she'd sent just before those texts and then sighs, shaking his head and pressing the green face-time call button.

i've been wearing nothing every time i call you and i'm starting to feel weird about it sometimes it's better if you think about it this time, i think i'm gonna drink through it

three days later, richie was undeniably and unequivocally drunk. but, as he's just explained about three times to mike, he knows that it is just easier to not think right, especially about her, right now - and the best way to do that is by getting so piss drunk that even if he tried to "hit her line," as he so eloquently put it, his dick would be too whiskey'd out to make a full appearance.

it's for the best. mike had fake gagged at richie’s cadence with a laugh, but richie was dead serious because he was starting to think he had a real issue.

it was obviously just a fun thing to do between two near-strangers, but he'd found that he was starting to almost pavlov-style condition himself into getting turned on every time the name y/n came across his recent texts or face times, and it was getting to be too much.

especially when her post notification popped up and he cracked a fatty in the middle of his econ lecture. christ, the point of elasticity of markers in the u.s. was not something he pictured when he usually had to quell a pitch in his tent. so yeah, it's too much.

because yes, he loves her fucking body and wants nothing more than her, but in truth he longs for the feeling of her skin against his; to touch her, to kiss her, to make her his. all the time.

but yet, it was just a good way to get off without all the strings and ribbons and yarn and whatever the fuck her soft-looking knit bra is made from attached.

so much for not thinking about her.

but i see her online (and don't think that i should be calling) all the time (i just wanted a happy ending) and i'm pretending i don't care about her stare while she's giving me a tough time

it’s noon the next day and he's laying in (for some reason) stan's bed instead of his own with a blinding, mind-splitting headache and an insatiable craving for a cheeseburger, eyes squinting in lust and something akin to shame as he watches the livestream y/n had just started. she’s in a slip – a very thin, silk and see through slip and it makes him more frustrated than he’s willing to admit.

as he stares at her smooth skin and wonders how it'd be to touch it all, her eyes catch something in the chat and she smiles coyly. "hi, rich." she purrs and richie almost chokes - holy shit, she saw him join.

"do you like my gift i just got?" she asks coyly, snapping the straps of her bra with a small smile and he stiffens almost instantly, thinking of how many times he'd seen her skin in videos and photos that were just for him.

how she'd moaned his name two nights ago on face time, her fingers buried inside herself slightly off-camera. and oh, how he wishes he could see all of her, but they'd not crossed that line yet - anything they'd done hadn't been yet proven visually, only from facial expressions, noises, and the brutal honestly of being together through face time.

he wants her so fucking bad, he needs her like he needs water to drink and air to breathe and it's murdering him as he watches her react to the chat of her livestream, playing with the hem of her black lace panties.

god, he needs a cold shower or something if he's going to get anything done today.

and then he's calling her an a few hours after her stream ends because he just can't wait - he feels his stomach twist with shame as he realizes he should not be doing such a certainly a terrible idea. but she answers after three rings. "richie." her siren voice purrs and he literally feels himself fall deeper into the pit.

"hi there, toots. got any coffee in the pot for me?" he asks, sounding surprisingly eloquent compared to how she normally makes him feel.

she hums in fake thought, and it makes richie grin. she's fucking adorable. "come to the shop, i have my break in ten." and then she hangs up. he sighs, rubbing his face with his hand as he shakes his head. he's utterly fucked.

he's there in record time, a smirk plastered on his face as he walks in and sees her sitting at a table, lookin' all pretty. just for him.

"what made you think of calling?" she says in loo of a greeting. he sits across from her and wills his eyes to meet hers. "nothin' toots." he says with a half shrug, taking a sip of the coffee placed in front of him that has the the name 'dick' written on it in her handwriting. he rolls his eyes affectionately.

"oh, so it wasn't anything to do with my livestream this morning?" she asks with a look, eyeing him. her eyes are swimmable, they hold so many stories and secrets and maybe richie's just hungover, but he's feeling very flustered.

"we-w, uh, no. what... what are you talking about?" he rolls his eyes at himself inwardly, cursing stuttering bill and his contagious speech patterns. "-i don't know what you're talking about, sugar." he recovers fairly smoothly, if he may toot his own horn. and honestly, he can pretend not to care as long as he doesn't look into that goddamn stare of hers.

he chuckles awkwardly, cheeks aflame as she stares at him with a bored look and a small hum. she still looks perfect and he's even more nervous now, because oh god, oh fuck, he's gonna get slapped in the face by y/n.

it was pretty unspoken since they'd started doing... stuff... that richie probably still watched her content online, but she'd never fully addressed it until today during the livestream in front of a thousand others.

he's choking on his spit in shame but then a smile splits her face and richie's sure he's suffocated on his own saliva and gone to a sinner's heaven. or maybe hell.

"oh, richie, i'm just teasing you. look at your face!" she says with an airy laugh, pinching his cheeks and making him want to shrivel up as he turns even redder. what the fuck? "-so cute. alright, i've got to get back to work. i'll see you around, rich." she says with a wink, taking her coffee and tossing it into the trash bin as she stalks towards the employee back room.

he gapes as he watches her leave and then gets up and makes his way to the exit, clutching the coffee like it was trying to jump out of his grasp and make a run for it. god, she's too much.

"maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes i'm not playing with you, baby i think that you should give it a go" she said, "maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes i wanna see, and stop thinking If you're too shy, then let me too shy, then let me know"

"-babe, you'll have to try harder than that." richie says with a chuckle, watching his phone screen as the beautiful girl on face time gives him a sly, challenging look. she's in a green lace bra, one richie's not seen yet and he can feel himself stiffen as she absently trails her fingers over her chest.

they'd been much closer over the last week since he last saw her in person, enough so that in the three-is weeks of knowing her, he's positive he's head over ass for her in a way that he shouldn't be. and yet, she still comes back every time, still texts him and answers those face time calls. he's baffled, honestly.

"i know you hate me because i'm right." he adds, not even totally remembering what point he's trying to prove as y/n shifts back a bit and more of her body is revealed, her hair glowing dimly in the soft lighting of her room. his eyes run over her curves, her full thighs and stomach and hips that fill over her panties and he almost groans.

"whatever, maybe i'd like you better if you took off your clothes." she says coyly. and richie's half flattered, as usual, but the more he thinks of it the more deflated he feels. he kind of thought they were growing something more than just getting each other off over face time like horny fifteen year olds. he grins nonetheless.

"you say that a lot, you know." richie says breathlessly as he stares at her. she tilts her head ever so slightly and grins, biting her lip as her eyes move around her screen with a conflicted look. "-why?" he adds.

she hums again.

"well. okay, so there's the visual world - like, the internet, onlyfans, instagram- it tells us that everything is amazing. and we should want everything. and it makes us yearn for everything that we don’t have and everything that’s unobtainable. you know, love, a relationship beyond physical. and even physical, it's different when it's online."

her words confuse him much more than they aid him. "you think... that because of the internet, love is unattainable?" he asks with furrowed brows, unsure how somebody so perfect and, quite frankly, lovable, would think that.

"it is for me." she says it with a small sense of forlorning but mostly it's whispered. enough that richie's heart skips a beat and he's, for the first time, not having a hard time keeping his eyes on her face instead of her body.

"what?" he asks dumbly. she just laughs, shaking her head and he stares at her on his tiny phone screen in the dark.

"that’s something that, you know. in real life, person to person, it has a lot of connotations of... trust and vulnerability and connection. doing what i do- and what we're doing… on the internet - it has the opposite of those connotations. like, before you, i didn't- i didn't really do this, i just was selling stuff. because guys don't want to fuck the girl who sells her body online. and you know now, i want to..." she trails off and richie doesn't dare interrupt her because he thinks she's about to say something he's wanted to tell her for a while now.

"i don't know, i guess. exploring someone's body in physical presence isn't seen at all as voyeuristic, or anything apart from...like, an intimate exchange." she says it casually, brushing hair from her face and shit, richie's swooning. he's in fucking love, he knows it, because y/n is so smart and intelligent and he's so fucking trashed for her. as she speaks, her hands move and distract him slightly from her body, doused in blue light from the screen and splayed out for him and only him on her phone camera.

the soft lace on her hips and chest make his body stiffen and it causes him to suppress a groan as she sighs, but richie knows he can’t screenshot this heavenly sight because she’ll definitely notice and she can probably already tell he’s having a hard time not staring at her alluring figure as she talks.

"-whereas, you know. as soon as it happens on the internet, it becomes kinky and cam-girly. and, you know, that's fine. i love doing it. it's just, i'm not sure where the authentic communication even is now. or if i get to have a happy ending." she says and he finally sees her blush for the first time.

he wishes he was there with her, he wishes that he could touch the redness on her cheeks and caress her curvy body and taste her skin on his tongue. he wants to feel himself inside her, he wants to be with her and kiss her lips and yet he can't, so he sighs and shifts in his position, moving to turn up the brightness of his phone so he can see better.

"shouldn't you get to be the one to decide that, doll?" is all he adds. because he feels kind of lost and just as confused as y/n is with this.

he's starting to feel weird about it, because... is this authentic? what makes things like hookups or whatever the hell they've been doing authentic? shouldn't this be easy? it's just phone sex, phone sex with a really hot girl.

a girl who is complex and alive and full of sincerity and richie is definitely falling harder than he should.

she just sighs but makes no other comment. and then they just stare at each other, richie's face illuminated in his dark room by the phone's reflection.

well, i found a motel it looked like the bins i think there'd been a murder so we couldn't get in i need to get back i've gotta see the girl on the screen

"come over and watch a movie with me." he says into the phone, biting his lip. the silence from the other end of the line is deafening as she makes her decision, because they both know she's not about to come over just to watch the shining or psycho.

they've never done that before, and richie knows if she does come over, then whatever they have will crash down in a fiery mess. and he hates how excited that makes him as he waits in silence for her to drop the ball. so to speak.

"okay." she says, sounding shocked herself, and richie can't contain the excited grin from eclipsing his face. "yeah?" he asks breathlessly, and she's quiet for a little longer. "yeah. text me your address."

she hangs up after that, and richie's thumbs shake as he types his address and sprints out to where stan, mike, ben, and bill are playing video games in he and stan's living room, wheezing at all of them to get out because someone fucking unbelievable is about to walk through that door.

she's there about an hour later, cheeks flushed when richie opens his door, looking just as nervous and flustered. "hi, chee." she says breathlessly, staring up at him with those goddamn eyes, the eyes that pulled him in the first time. his stomach flips in affection at her nickname and he offers her a drink as she takes in his shitty apartment. he wonders briefly if stan ended up buying that rosé that he'd given him shit for considering, and then prays that stan will stay the night elsewhere.

she's already pouring out glasses of wine when he snaps back to reality, and he grins at her, mumbling in thanks as she passes him a glass that's certainly poured almost to the brim.

"what are we watching, then?" she asks coyly, lifting a brow at him. his cheeks are red, but he tugs her arm down the hall towards his room with a grin, their wine sloshing from their glasses as they move erratically.

"we're watching psycho, y/n/n." he says as he pulls her into his room, glancing back to see she's already swallowed down almost half her glass, a lipstick stain on the side of it. faintly he knows stan will be frustrated if richie doesn't clean that off, but he's more distracted by her lips.

"i like psycho." she says with a nod and a cheeky grin, "the whole 'voyeuristic gaze' thing with hitchcock." she mumbles, and richie recalls faintly learning about that in one of his film classes freshman year and he grins as he takes a hefty gulp of his rosé, figuring he's already given himself away and if she's going to do that, he can too.

he hums, setting down his glass and grabbing hers to set it besides his on the bedside table. he turns around, intending on grabbing his laptop so they could watch the film, but she's so much closer that he'd expected and her hands fall onto his shoulders and he almost shits himself.

unpleasant, but honest. just richie's style.

"can i try something?" she asks with a grin, and richie nods, knowing that she could do anything to him and he'd gladly let it happen and most likely pay out of pocket for the damages afterwards.

and then she's pulling him from her grip on his shoulders, her lips sliding against his and making him grip her hips. his mind almost explodes at with y/n-sensory-overload because he feels her everywhere - on his lips, against his hands, on his shoulders, and pressing against his front.

her lips taste like chamomile and rosé.

she thinks his lips taste like vanilla and cigarette smoke, just as she'd always imagined. he feels so real, pressed against her lips and his body against hers, and she sighs as her tongue slips into his mouth because god, she's needed him for so long. and now she has him.

his hands move, touching every inch of her as their tongues fight for dominance. she pulls back, smirking as she gently pushes him onto his mattress, sliding onto his lap smoothly afterwards, grinding her hips against his slowly.

the moan he emits is heavenly and she could cry because she finally gets to hear it in person and not through the crackling static frequency of the phone.

so she grinds down on him again, eager to feel all of him. he's hardening against her core and she whimpers into his mouth in need as his fingers slip under her top, rubbing circles on her bare skin and making her shiver. she's noticed to this gentleness; it was rare when she did get to enjoy the comfort of another body with her own, and when she did they were hardly half as loving or caring as him.

she's desperate now, she needs to feel him inside her after all these weeks of teasing and waiting, so her hand snakes down to palm him through his sweats. he lets out a small groan into her mouth, biting her lip as he pulls back slightly. their eyes meet and his are hooded with lust, lips parted as she pumps him slowly from outside his sweats. his hips buck up lightly into her palm and she smiles gently, kissing him slowly.

"let me make you feel good, y/n." he mutters, eyes pleading as he stares up at her. her stomach flutters with butterflies and she nods, shocked that he wants to pleasure her.

he gently pulls her off his lap until she's laying on his mattress and he stares down at her, biting his lip as he takes her in. he can't fucking believe she's really here. she slowly pulls off her top, leaving her in her bra and jeans as she stares up at him with a wry, seductive smile. then she unzips her jeans and slides them off, leaving her in his favorite set of hers - black, lacy, and revealing. she looks utterly stunning and he groans, his hands falling to run over the skin, tracing the lace on her breasts. her cheeks are red as she gazes up at him.

"touch me, richie." she orders and he almost groans as he drags his lips over the valley of her breasts, sucking on the soft flesh and admiring the splashes of budding purple and pink that he's created. her heartbeat is quick under his fingertips and he moves to unclip her bra, kissing her skin as the fabric falls away.

she's slightly cold in his room, and goosebumps appear over her flesh as richie leans to catch a nipple in her mouth, flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud. she lets out a quiet whine that has richie rutting into the mattress next to her, his fingers trailing down to dance at the waistline of her underwear.

and then he's pulling aside her panties, his fingers running up and down her slick folds and making her jump in lust. he can't wait, just like her, and he's rubbing her clit teasingly as she pleads, "chee, please." her eyes are eyes closed in bliss as his finger slips inside her, crooking slightly as he moves it. he presses his lips to the skin of her breast, pumping his finger and then soon adding another, crooking them both in a way that makes her let out guttural moans of pleasure. he marks her breasts with littered pink and red marks, smiling to himself at her figure.

she can't help but swoon as she watches him, his hair in his face slightly until she brushes it back, his fingers curling inside her and making her gasp, pleasure coursing through her body. his thumb softly comes up to rub her neglected clit and she grabs his shoulders to steady herself, the pleasure almost too much.

she's honestly slightly shocked - knowing richie as little as she really does outside of the literal booty calls at two in the morning and the accumulative forty five minutes they'd spent in person, she'd expected him to be... well, good. just good. because there's no way someone so funny, caring, and smart could also be that good in the sheets.

but right now, he's making her see goddamn stars.

"i've been wanting to touch you for so long, sugar." he mutters, eyes raking over her figure as her breath comes in stuttering gasps. she watches him with blown-wide eyes as his demeanor changes right before her, making her fall apart at his fingertips.

"that feel good, honey?" he asks, smirking as she whimpers, clenching around his fingers. "yes, god you feel so good." she utters, making him groan in approval from where he's sat back, watching her face contort in pleasure. she lets out another moan and richie stares at her body, watching his fingers as they fuck into her. he can't take it, then.

"will you sit on my face, doll?" he blurts, and she nearly yelps out as his fingers leave her. it's abrupt, but she's started to notice that this is how he operates - impulsivity is his second nature. and she loves it.

her face burns as she nods, the thought of richie under her making her whimper with anticipation. "yes, richie, please." she moans out again and he's grinning, laying back on the mattress with a wink. "c'mere, need to taste that pretty little pussy." he mutters and she feels herself clench around nothing, desperate for him as she swings a leg around to straddle his head.

immediately, his hands wrap around her thighs, thumbs smoothing over her stretch marks as he stares up at her, eyes glinting with desire. slowly, his finger pulls the seat of her lace panties to the side and his breath hits her bare, throbbing pussy, making her breath hitch. she cards her fingers through his hair and lowers herself slightly, gasping in shock as his tongue darts out to lick a bold stripe up from her entrance to her clit.

"chee," she moans out, tightening her grip in his hair and sending a groan through his body that reverberates and makes her shiver. his lips attach to her clit and fiery pleasure snakes through her body making her legs shake, a moan escaping her lips immediately. he sucks lightly before releasing to swirl his tongue, her moans making richie impossibly harder through his sweats.

"so good, rich." she mutters and he groans, tongue spreading her wet folds and slowly prodding at her entrance, dipping in slowly before pulling out, teasing her.

she can't help but grind down slightly, making richie grip her tightly, tongue sliding into her again and making her yelp. "you taste so good, baby." he mutters lowly before slowly reattaching himself to her heat, her eyes rolling slightly at the sensation as he fucks his tongue into her. one of his hands snakes up to her ass, gripping it tightly and then slapping it, the stinging pleasure making her buck her hips against him, emitting a hiss from her.

"rich, i-" she cuts herself off with a sharp gasp, the pleasure from richie's mouth making it increasingly harder to speak. her toes curl and her head tilts back as his tongue flicks over her clit, teeth grazing it slightly and making her buck.

she's embarrassingly close already, and judging by the way richie's smirking under her, he can tell. "please, please." she mutters, hips rocking on him as his tongue swirls, nipping softly at her clit and making her cry out. "please, make me cum, 'chee." she mutters and his tongue moves quicker, hand slapping her ass again.

and then she's clenching her thighs on either side of him and grinding down as she hits her peak, moaning quietly as she shakes in pleasure on top of him. he rides through her high, lapping at her and pulling away with a grin as she moans his name dejectedly. she's worn out from the best orgasm she's ever had and he gently nudges her so he slides in between her thighs, her back now on the mattress. he kisses her cheek and she keens quietly.

"fuck me, richie." she mutters, eyes still closed. his eyes snap to hers, surprised at the dominance in her voice after how she was two seconds ago.

he moans quietly, kissing her deeply as he ruts against her and relishes in the feeling. he's pulling off his sweats and boxers in record time and then he's pumping himself as he grips her hips, turning her so she's on her stomach, ass propped up slightly. his hand runs over the smooth skin of her ass, snapping the elastic of her panties and making her moan quietly.

then he's lining up her hips with his, pulling aside the lacy seat of her underwear to press against her entrance. he waits a moment as he leans to press a soft kiss to her spine, slowly easing into her. she moans loudly as he eases in, her face pressing against the pillows. she smiles as she smells the scent she'd just recently come to know as his, his cock stretching her and filling her up fully as he buries himself to the hilt inside her.

"so tight, sugar." he mutters and she whimpers, getting antsy as she adjusts to his size. "richie, please, need it so bad." she mutters, bucking her hips back against him in need.

"say that again." he mutters, sounding strangled, and she grins into the sheets. "please fuck me, richie. need it so bad, need to feel you ruin me." she whimpers, chest fluttering in anticipation. his hands grip her hips as he pulls out of her slowly, almost as slowly as he entered, before stopping almost all the way out. she moans loudly in pleasure as he pushes back in, snapping his hips against hers and filling her completely.

she briefly thanks god that his roommate seemed to be out for the night as she moans his name loud enough for the neighbors to hear.

he sets a brutal pace, his cock thick as it fills her up and makes her toes curl. he pushes her hair away from her neck and presses kisses to it as he hits a spot inside her that makes her scream his name. his fingers move to pinch her nipples, rolling them as he fucks into her.

she's completely blissed out at the feeling of him inside her, so glad that he invited her over and that they finally get to touch each other. "rich, oh my god." she emits, eyes squinted shut in complete pleasure.

"fuck, toots, takin' me so well, aren't you?" he asks, hands kneading her ass before slapping her right ass cheek harshly, making her arch her back. at the new angle they both let out a groan and richie knows he'll fucking cum too soon if they stay like this, so without warning he pulls out completely.

y/n whines, breathing heavily as his hands come to flip her around. now on her back, they make eye contact and she bites her lip, pulling him in for a searing kiss that knocks the wind out of both of them. images of richie in his room alone, snaps and late-night face times play through her mind as he grips her and slides her hips down towards him on the mattress and lines himself to her again, pulling her legs up so they're against his chest before pushing in.

he gives no time to adjust to this angle and it makes her moan loudly as he hits a spot deep inside her that pulls her closer and closer to her second orgasm.

his name leaves her cherry lips like a mantra and he can't stop staring at her as he fucks her into the mattress - the way her tits bounce with his brutal pace, the way her face is twisted in pleasure, the way she clenches and spasms around his cock.

one hand grips her breast, rubbing her nipple with his thumb and forefinger as he kisses her again, addicted to her taste as he feels himself coming closer and closer to the edge.

"chee, fuck, right there." she moans out and he groans in pleasure, the feeling of her walls clenching around him making his hips stutter. he keeps his thrusts up, though, as her fingernails rake down his back leaving small trails of burning pleasure in their wake.

her skin is covered with a sheen line of sweat as she looks up at him, hair wild and lips kiss-bruised. "god, don't stop, 'm gonna cum." she mutters and he snaps his hips harder, eager to make her cum so hard all she can think of is his name.

he moves a hand down to rub at her clit and he moans into her neck as she clenches hard around him, her hips bucking spastically. he can tell she's about to cum, and after a hard thrust, she does for the second time, spasming around him and sending waves of pleasure up his body. she's moaning his name, pulling him closer in bliss as she becomes sensitive and god damn it, she's so fucking beautiful.

"please cum, richie." she whispers against his lips, "please." and then at her will, he's spilling into her, hips stuttering as he pushes as deep into her as he can, loving how she clenches in sensitivity around him. he stays inside her for a moment as they breathe, coming down from their highs and eyes closed as they take in what just happened.

"holy shit." he says because yeah, that's like all he can say right now because he just got to fuck y/n and she's kissing his fucking collarbones right now and its making him blush and his heart flutter.

"that was...incredible." she whispers against his skin and he can feel her smile against his skin. it makes him feel all soft inside as he pulls out of her and flops next to her, kissing her forehead.

his fingers flutter over her sensitive core, smiling as he sees how wrecked she is, some cum dripping down her leg. he then soothes over the lace panties, patting her lightly and kissing her red cheek.

"rich?" she asks, making him look up at her. he hums in question, pushing some of her hair back. "can we still watch the movie?"

his heart swells and he grins, kissing her softly. "of course, doll. you're too cute." he says with a wink, making her roll her eyes. he hands her his shirt and then pulls sweats on himself, mumbling "stay here" and padding out to the kitchen to get her water and snacks, then returning minutes later to see her holding his phone in her clutch with a smirk.

"what're you doing?" he asks with a smile, but she shakes her head, making grabby hands for him and the snacks. so he laughs, cuddling up with the girl of his dreams and watching a flick, falling sleep with tangled limbs and a lipstick-stained neck.

and after she leaves the next morning with a kiss and a wink, he checks his phone and smirks to himself as he notices the lock screen she'd apparently made last night while he was making snacks.

a photo of her in his bed, wearing his shirt, a soft smirk on her face, neck littered in budding hickeys and a hand between her thighs next to her black lace panties.

god, she's going to be the absolute death of him.

//tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @simplesammyx @dickology64 @clownsloveyou @emnotm @moon-shine-baby @toziershmozier @daughter-of-the-stars11 @lets-vibe-bro @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @beauregard-s@finnskindofwoman @kait-tozier @upamongthestarss \\

#richie tozier x reader #richie tozier smut #richie has adhd #losers x reader #losers club x reader

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snarkwriteswrasslin · 4 years ago

Note

Can I have Finn's other persona, the Prince, headcanons, please? 👉🏻👈🏻

I feel like I need to warn here. Prince isn’t really... the hearts and flowers guy. So, I apologize in advance. I touched on a lot of these in the other post I did for him, but honestly, there was a little more I could’ve done, so yes, yes, gladly. I’ll do this. I love this particular character, btw. Even though he’s a raging damn asshole for the most part. Or maybe that’s why I love it? Idk.. anyway, thank you for sending me these and I’m so so so sorry it took a thousand years to get them posted.

Warnings:

uhh.. Kids under 18, go the entire fuck outside, please, I beg of you. I’m saying this out of love/respect for you guys.... Because I like to try and do these as honestly and true to canon/character in kayfabe as I can and yeah... Prince can be ... one hell of a guy. I don’t really know how out of pocket this is liable to get, tbh. I’ll trigger/squick tag everything I think might be bothersome before I post this.

wax play, body fluids, aggressive sex, biting, public sex, rope play, hot and cold play, sensory deprivation, knife play are all the tw’s i have for you all, tbh.

Tagging:

@kyleoreillysknee @rampagewriting @writertoo18 @thatnerdwriter @wrestlingismyguiltypleasure @chasingeverybreakingwave @waywardwrestlewritingwaif @sassymox @champbucks @hungmanhorsecarriage @wardl0w @ryantaylorgirl @wrestlingthot @hotyeehawman @darbysallin @gabbynorth98 @bec0m

Other Stuff:

[ ABOUT MY WRITING | MASTERLIST | TAG LIST DOC ]

Okay, first of all.. If I haven’t emphasized this enough already in my previous Prinxe post, what you need to decide before getting involved in any way, shape or form... Is how far are you really willing to go. Because the sex is bomb as fuck a++++++ and all the gold stars, but... Prinxe is a bit of, no.. He can be a huge asshole. He wouldn’t be him if he weren’t. And he’s very entitled. Prideful. So if you two were to argue, and you sit around waiting on him to apologize? Keep waiting. Because that’s all that’s gonna happen. If you can deal with all this shit then cool. Go for it, do you and be happy.

IDK if I touched on this in the other post but.. The man is a masochist. He absolutely gets off on pain. The harder you can tug his hair, the harder you can choke him, the harder you bite down on those very kissable lips... The more he’s going to get off.

-- On this note.. Do not, by any stretch, expect him to go easy on you or treat you like a piece of fine china, because what you do to him will be done back to you. If you’re not into inflicting or receiving pain, it’s best to stay far away from the guy.

The more dangerous something sounds, the more he gravitates towards it. This is not always a good thing, either. It’s really not.

I mentioned before that he has a humiliation kink. And he won’t stop until you’re honest to god on the verge of tears. To begin with, the man has himself a razor tongue and cold iron wit... adding the fact that he gets off on using words to hurt/embarass others? Yikes.

I mentioned shibari in the last one. His favorite thing to do while he’s got you all tied up and straining against the ropes -he’ll demand you squirm and move for him btw, because the biggest part of being into shibari/the act of rope play for him is the fact that you’re right there and you can’t get away until he lets you, .. Anyway, where was I? He really likes to take this knife with a delicate thin and cold blade... And trail it over your body. Cutting away your clothes, because let’s face it, you’re not going to have a stitch to wear when you’re with him. You’re going to be naked and ready to go at any time. So.. Knifeplay is another kink I can kinda see Prinxe having. No, he wouldn’t intentionally hurt you on purpose. But really, you need to ask yourself if you trust the guy enough to be anywhere near you with a knife. Or ropes. Or hot wax..

Very into hot cold play. Loves to drip hot candle wax on your naked body.

Doesn’t bother to hide the screen when you two are having a hot and heavy and filthy cam session while he’s on the road. So.. if you’re not into god knows who seeing you in various states of undress and near feral horniness, then it won’t bother you. But if you believe that private things need to stay private, you’re not going to like this about the guy at all.

Loves to grab hold of your jaw when you’re about to swallow his load and smirk in satisfaction. Nothing gets him off more than when he watches his sexual partner swallow and taste him.

-- Has made you taste yourself for him. The way you whimpered and moaned and groaned had him coming in seconds if I’m being honest.

-- The more vocal you are when giving him a blow job or when he’s pounding you, the harder it’s going to be to keep him from utterly wrecking you or controlling his own orgasm because there’s something about your little noises that make him dangerously close to getting off every time you make them. And bet your ass, he does literally everything he can to keep you noisy, no matter the situation. Even if it’s a public setting. He doesn’t care.

Anybody whose with him needs to have a very broad and open mind, because Prinxe here is constantly evolving in kinks and things he wants to try out on you. And he’s not the kind of guy who wants to have you talked into whatever it is he wants to do wit hyou either. Nothing would make him lose interest faster if we’re being honest. He’s pretty much just ghosted people for far less. So if your mind is closed, probably best to steer clear.

Prinxe is into men and women. If he finds you desirable, he’s going to pursue you. In his own way, of course. Just... Whether you’re a man or a woman, please remember.. This guy is very good at pouring on the charm and seeming like a legit perfect guy. Know that he has many, many faults. Some worse than others. Know what you’re in for and know your limitations. Be firm with him.

-- On that note... a lesser known thing about our boy here... he is totally into his partner being dominant af too. He absolutely loves the power struggle. He tends to win most of the time, but whew.. is it ever one hell of a time during the whole chase / power struggle.

The man has a huge spanking kink. Getting and giving. Only rarely does the getting part of it get indulged though because Prinxe is not the type to easily hand over the dominant role in bed because that means he’s at your mercy and nope.. That is not him. He cannot stand relinquishing control. At all.

-- This goes without saying, it has happened. But it’s very very rare. So don’t expect it. And if you do, either go elsewhere or lower your expectations.

The man does NOT like condoms. At all. That said, this is one of few things he will concede on. If you want him to wear one, he will. He’s also a stickler for safewords. He’s not the best at aftercare, but.. On occasion, he does attempt it. Only if he’s reasonably serious about someone. And that’s not often either because to be honest, in his mind, it’s Prinxe Devitt’s show and we’re all just living in it.

Lowkey, he’d love it if he met just one person who could meet his difficult nature, have a glowing and shiny spine to stand against it and just dominante the fuck out of him. He’d die before admitting it, but he’d love just one time to have someone turn the tables on him.

-- if you were to do that, he’d be a begging and whimpering, overstimulated mess in your mercy.

-- It’s not quite clear how one would go about doing that though, so good luck figuring it out.

Very into sensory deprivation. Loves to edge you until you’re crying and begging and squirming at his every touch. But very into sensory deprivation. Total sensory deprivation. He’ll blindfold you, gag you, tie you up and tease you until you’re at your brink.

-- secretly wants to have it done to him because holy shit, he’d love that. he’d never admit it, as I said, but yeah.

#prince devitt #prince devitt fanfiction #prince devitt imagine #prince devitt headcanons - ns(fw)#prince devitt imagines #prince devitt fanfic #my writing; prince devitt #my fics; prince devitt #my headcanons/nsfw; prince devitt #my headcanons; prince devitt

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fiction-fun · 4 years ago

Text

This one too is atleast a year old. Not tagging again cause idk whod want to see it hahaha

Saved and Loved

Fandom: The Simpsons

Pairings: Bart/Nelson, Lisa/OC

Words: 2876

Warnings: None

The girl swung a bit on the swing as she watched the unfolding events. They weren’t supervised on recess not really anyway.

“GET BACK HERE NERD!” A rough angry voice screamed.

“NO!” Returned a harried voice as a boy in a red shirt shoved through the swings sending her flying.

“Hey!” She shouted clutching the chains.

The boy looped back trying to lose the larger figure behind him.

“SORRY!” he yelled as he ran back passed.

She glared and huffed but this was a weekly occurrence. She sighed and went back to swinging. A few minutes later the swing beside her was occupied by the boy from earlier sporting a few more bruises.

“Sorry about that, Kay.” He said shoving off a bit.

The girl, Kay, sighed as she turned to look at her only friend giving him a look.

“It’s fine Bart, I’m used to being shoved during recess.” She returned.

The boy, Bart nodded swinging slowly. She gave him a concerned look.

“Bart it’s fine, really.” She tried to reassure him.

He let out a sigh as he stopped the swing.

“it’s not that Kaley, although I’ll try to run away from the swings next time. It’s…. just this whole thing.” Bart said gesturing to the play equipment, other kids and then to his own face.

She nodded.

“I know Bart. I don’t know why you let it happen. Aren’t they Nelson’s lackeys? Aren’t you two some kind of friends? Why don’t you tell him?” she asked looking at him.

Bart shrugged.

“Yeah I probably should but…I don’t want to bother him. Or make him angry.” Bart said seemingly adding the last bit as an after thought.

Kaley watched him for a few seconds.

“I don’t think he’d be angry at you, at them probably but not you.” Kaley said softly.

Bart shrugged and just as Kaley went to say something more the bell went.

“I have to get to class, you should too.” She said gently.

Bart nodded and stood up stuffing his hands into his pants pockets. Kaley watched as he walked away a plan forming in her mind. She went to class and ended the day.

“Bart! Call me later ok?” Kaley said as she paused at his locker briefly.

“Yeah, I’ll try.” Bart said still distracted.

Kaley smiled gently and laid a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll help you with your homework?” she offered, trying to convince him to call her.

Bart hesitated for a few seconds before nodding.

“Alright, if mom'll let me.” Bart said.

Kaley nodded and waved as she ran out of the school, and got into her dad’s car.

“Hi Daddy.” She said dropping her bag in the back and smiling at her dad.

He leaned over and hugged her.

“Hello sweetheart how was your day today?” he asked as he turned back to the front and started the drive home.

Kaley let out a sigh and slouched back in her seat.

“They chased Bart again, and he still won’t tell Nelson.” She said looking down at her hands.

Her dad looked at her at a stop sign.

“Maybe you should tell him?” her dad suggested.

Kaley nodded and stayed silent for a minute.

“They only do it when Nelson has to stay inside. Because they know he favors Bart. Without proof it’ll be me against them.” She said voice low.

Her dad parked the car, before turning to look at her.

“Maybe we can figure something out.” Her dad suggested.

She smiled slightly, glad she had gotten her dad’s brain and her father’s cunning. Her plan was coming together nicely.

“I was thinking Daddy, maybe I could use one of the mini cams you and Father use to monitor employees? We could disguise it as a bow.” Kaley suggested mildly.

Her Dad hummed a bit before looking towards the house.

“We’ll talk with your Father and see what he says.” Her Dad said.

She nodded and the two of them headed inside. Kaley headed up to her room to work on her homework. A few hours later her, her dad and her Father shared a nice dinner and talked lightly. And then after dinner Bart finally called.

“Hey Bart, how are you?’ she asked as she settled on her bed in her pajamas with her homework spread in front of her.

She heard a groan from the other side.

“Not great but better then I’d be if they’d caught me sooner.” Bart returned.

Kaley hummed and they quickly moved on to homework since they both had to be in bed soon. About an hour later they had finished.

“Ok that’s it, thanks for the help.” Bart said and she heard a book close and then a bag zip shut.

Kaley smiled and closed her own books setting them off to the side for now she still had another assignment to do.

“No problem Bart. I have to go, I’ll see you, tomorrow right?” she asked.

“Yeah see you tomorrow. Night, Kaley.” Bart returned.

“Good night, Bart.” She said ending the call.

Just as she placed the receiver back on its cradle her parents walked in.

“Just what have you got planned?” her Father asked her.

Kaley looked up at him from her bed and pulling her notebook back towards her she pulled out a few pages from the back passing them to her parents with a smile.

“I want to record them messing with Bart, so I can show Nelson what happens when he’s not around. But to do so, I’ll have to get indoor recess one day. That is a full outline of my plan and the different things I could do to get that indoor recess. I’m not planning to do this now, maybe a month or so I want to get a lot of evidence.” She said determinedly.

Her Father nodded as he read the plan.

“I would prefer no class damage.” Her dad said in response.

Kaley shrugged.

“Then I’ll swear. It might get me two days though.” She said.

Her parents looked at each other and nodded.

“Alright.” Her Father said.

And with that they said good night and headed to bed. Over the next two months Kaley wore a bow with a camera hidden inside it, anytime anyone asked why she wore it, she just said her Father had gotten it for her and she liked it. The green bow sat adorably atop her dark brown high ponytail, recording everything. Anything the teachers did wrong, her dad who reviewed the footage with her each day, made an extensive log of. But by the end of the two months she had in her possession a video of evidence for Nelson. The class before recess that day she heard Nelson whinning that he was stuck inside and she was already a little annoyed about her math test grade so she quickly scribbled a note to Bart.

'Sorry.’ It read and Kaley passed it to him quickly.

He gave her a look and she held up a finger.

“Nelson quit bitching.” She said loudly.

“Inside recess and your Father will hear about this!” the teacher yelled, which was also caught on the camera she still wore.

When that class ended, she paused at the door and waited for Nelson.

“Hey Nelson, I’m sorry. I just needed to get inside recess today. I need to show you something. Will you show me to the inside recess room?” Kaley asked looking at him.

Nelson went from angry to curious before nodding and leading her from the room. Within a few seconds they got to the inside room, beanbags games and cards lay around in a semi organized mess. No teacher watching them, but a tv with a tape player stood at the front.

“What did you have to show me?” Nelson asked looking at her.

Kaley pulled the tape from her bag and motioned for him sit down. He did that and waited while she put the tape in.

“Nelson, this is a tape containing the days you aren’t at recess, this is the last two months but it happens every time you aren’t out there.” Kaley said simply hitting play before taking a seat by him.

He watched the TV as the video played. Kaley watched as he seemingly grew angrier and angrier. When the tape ended, he turned to her.

“That tapes real?” he asked.

She nodded and pointed to her bow.

“I have a camera in here.” She said revealing it.

Nelson nodded and rose to his feet, pacing around the room.

“It happens every time I’m not out there?” He asked seemingly to clarify.

Kaley nodded again.

“Every time.” She affirmed.

Nelson nodded and continued to pace before in the last five minutes of recess he sat back down beside her.

“You keep that bow camera and you watch our boy.” He said firmly.

She nodded but raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“What are you gonna do?” She asked.

He gave her an evil look.

“I’m going to get suspended for at least a week.” Nelson said as the bell rang

Nelson stood nodded to Kaley and walked into the hall calmly. Kaley jumped to her feet grabbed the tape and raced to the hallway, slipping the tape Into her bag, she paused at Bart’s side right as Nelson took his two goons to the ground. Skinner arriving shortly to break the fight up. Nelson paused in front of Bart and Kaley.

“Bart beat them if they do it again. Kaley you know what to do.” He said firmly.

Both of them nodded as he was walked to the office. Nelson’s prediction was right and he was suspended for ten days, just over the week he said. Kaley made sure to record everything while he was gone and Bart did his best to fight back. That seemed enough to make them leave Bart alone. Only for them to turn and go after Kaley.

“This is a bad idea.” She said calmly.

They cracked their knuckles and continued forward. It had been nine days since Nelson’s suspension.

“Oh yeah? Why?” one of the two asked, she didn’t know his name.

She rolled her eyes and looked at them with a glare.

“Because my last name is Smithers-Burns, and you really don’t want the other two with that name to come after you.” Kaley said calmly voice distant and low.

The two backed off at that realizing their mess-up. When Nelson came back, he made an actual effort not to get recess detention even though his friends had actually laid off Bart a bit. It was five years later when anything else happened. Kaley had taken to wearing the green camera bow constantly, as the camera updated over the five years her bow changed a bit. She smiled as she paused next to Bart, his silver earring glinting in the light as he slouched against his locker.

“Hey Bart.” She said happily.

He hummed lightly before shaking himself and looking at her.

“Oh, hey Kaley.” He said standing up.

Kaley looked over to where he’d been staring, seeing Nelson at his locker, she rolled her eyes.

“Seriously Bart? You’ve liked him for five years just go tell him!” She exclaimed with an annoyed huff.

Bart quickly covered her mouth and dragged her into an empty room.

“Are you insane!? He’s fully straight!” Bart half shouted back.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“No, he’s not.” She said simply.

He looked at her confused, before shaking his head and shrugging.

“It doesn’t matter, even if he’s not, he can do better than me.” Bart said with a sigh.

Kaley went to say something but the bell rang.

“Just think about it!” She called as Bart rushed from the room.

Kaley didn’t go anywhere as the room Bart had dragged her into was her next class. The next person in was Nelson and they took their seats at the lab table.

“What’s up with Bart?” Nelson asked.

Kaley sighed and looked at him with a slight glare. Nelson nudged her.

“You look like your father when you do that.” He said.

Kaley cracked a small smile and looked at him fully.

“He’s fallen for someone but won’t tell them.” Kaley said without telling Nelson anything.

Nelson huffed and turned around to the front looking glum. Kaley sighed and faced the front as well. A week later Kaley walked into the Park to see Bart getting beaten up by Nelson’s ex goons. Kaley paused took a picture texted it to Nelson and immediately called him.

“Nelson your boyfriend needs help. We’re at Springfield park.” Kaley said before ending the call just as quickly.

She ran over and tried to pull them off, being stronger than she looked had its advantages sometimes, although right now she was just struggling to keep one of them off Bart. It took a few minutes and the one Kaley held had just managed to bust free sending her slamming to the ground, before Nelson ran Into the park. He didn’t hesitate as he ran into the fray and sent both of the others to the ground, quickly getting them away from both Bart and Kaley. Nelson turned and helped Bart up, Kaley rising up by herself.

“You ok, Bart?” Nelson asked quietly.

Bart looked at Nelson and turned slightly, cheeks tinting red.

“Y-yeah I’m ok Nelson.” He said faintly.

Nelson nodded and looked him over. Kaley rolled her eyes.

“Just fucking kiss already.” She huffed looking at the two of them.

They both turned red and looked at her, she put her hands on her hips.

“You’ve been dancing around each other since you were ten. Just fucking date already. As both of your best friend, I beg you.” Kaley said with a small huff.

Nelson turned to look at Bart and drew him into a light kiss, Bart freezing for a second before kissing back. Kaley sighed and smiled softly. The rest of the year went decently no one dared to mess with Bart with him dating Nelson. Although Bart’s dad did kick him out and he started living with Kaley her parents.

“Bart! Nelson’s on the phone! Could you hurry up though! I want to call Lisa!” Kaley shouted through his door.

Bart opened his door and leaned against it, taking the phone from her.

“Hold on, Nel. It’s weird as hell that you’re dating my sister, and just use the downstairs line!” Bart grumped.

Kaley slammed her hand against the door as he tried to close it.

“It’s not weird. And I want to be able to laugh and giggle and talk with my girlfriend in my room like you get to talk to Nelson! You two always hog the phone!” she huffed annoyed.

Bart made a face before forcing the door shut. She yelled out a groan and turned to stomp back to her room.

“Kaley.” Her dad called from up the hall.

She looked up at him and smiled.

“Hi daddy, what’s up?” She asked.

Her dad smiled and waved her close before directing her into her room where her Father stood with a small platter in his hands.

“Father you’re home!” Kaley called happily and ran over hugging him gently.

Her Father smiled and nodded.

“Yes, I am, and your dad and I have decided to change a few things around here. Starting with this.” Her father said pulling the lid off the platter with a flourish.

Sitting on the platter was a landline phone.

“My own phone line?” she asked.

Her parents nodded.

“Yes, Bart is always taking the phone up here which is fine but it causes issues between you two and that’s not right. So now you have your own line.” Her Dad explained.

She squealed and hugged them both, before they hooked up the line and left so she could call Lisa. Both Bart and Kaley stopped fighting but now Waylon had the hard task of getting them off the phone for dinner. Two years later and they all graduated, even Lisa who had skipped two grades to join them. They spent the night laughing sitting in the park talking about how much they had changed. Nelson had an ear and nose piercing; Bart had his ear piercing. Both Kaley and Lisa had multiple piercings in their ears Kaley also had a tongue piercing and snake bites, while Lisa had gotten a nose piercing. They laughed long into the night sharing stupid stories from their point of view.

“Got Kaley to thank for this.” Nelson said hours later.

Bart and Lisa looked at him.

“I secretly made a tape of those idiots chasing and beating on Bart way back in what fourth grade? And when I told Nelson to stop bitching it was my plan to show him the tape.” Kaley said with a shrug.

Bart smiled and shook his head laughing.

“I wouldn’t tell him, so you found a way to show him.” Bart said.

That caused more laughter to ring through the group. Over the next few years the girls went to college and the guys started work and they ended up living in a duplex in town together, spending the majority of their time together.

#The Simpsons #Nelson Muntz #Bart Simpson #Lisa Simpson #fanfiction

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tcpimpabutterfly · 4 years ago

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DATING SHIP MEME

Status: Accepting

@bulletballet said: 😭 for whatever ships of ours that u feel like writing out!

where they first met and how: In English class at school. Nick bothered her for homework one day and the rest is history.

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved: The entirety that their class read and did work relating to The Great Gatsby, so I’d say for a good 2-3 weeks maybe even a whole month.

who fell for who first ( if applicable ): Janie always thought Nick was cute, but I feel like Nick was the one who actually developed feelings beyond a silly crush but Janie wasn’t too far behind.

where their first date was and what it was like: I forgot the name of the restaurant you sent me with the pretty decor, but it was there! The date was honestly really awkward and that was mostly because of Janie. She sat there stiff as a board the whole time and hardly talked because she was so nervous. They most likely already had their first kiss at this point too, but the butterflies in her stomach kept her from acting out.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? ): Nick definitely asked Janie out first and it definitely happened when he was walking her home one day. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was right after their first kiss.

who proposes first: Nick! Matter of fact he’s probably the only one who ever brings up marriage in their relationship.

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away: Flash forward to endgame Nick and Janie, Janie wanted the relationship to stay a secret just incase things didn’t work out between them again, but of course Nick had to announce it to his whole family and next thing you know the women in Cassandra’s salon was congratulating her on her new relationship.

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? ): I can see Nick being a little extra and setting up a dinner with his whole family and proposing to her then. Would she say yes??.....idk!

if they adopt any pets together: Why adopt when chowder can have more puppies that’ll go on to harrass Nick and Jerrold?

who’s more dominant: Please, power play is a big thing between these two.

where their first kiss was and what it was like: It happened the night Janie met Nick’s whole family for the first time. He walked her home like the true gentleman he is and she felt bad for telling him that she didn’t talk to her mom about him, so she gave him a kiss goodbye to make up for it.

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? ): Besides those gold necklaces Janie bought them all those years ago, I feel like they had matching varsity jackets or something like that when they were younger too. Something tells me young Janie would get Nick’s initals tattooed somewhere like on her leg or wrist.

how into pda they are: Janie hates it. She can barely stand private affection so she tries to avoid pda at all cost, but of course Nick just has to give her little pecks or hugs every now and then when they’re out.

who holds the umbrella when it rains: Nick cause he’s a gentleman like that.

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable ): I feel like even as adults they still visit that restaurant they had their first date at often.

who’s more protective: Nick 100% homeboy was ready to deal with another anchor just for disagreeing with and dismissing Janie’s opinion.

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ ): If Nick wasn’t in and out of jail as a youngin it wouldn’t have been that long, but I feel like they really honestly didn’t have sex with each other until they were in their early 20s. As for sharing a bed, not until their recent age of 40-something which is kinda crazy to think about.

if they argue about anything: Any and everything.

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. ): Nick. When then leads to arguments early in the morning at 3am with Janie screaming about how she has to cover them up for work now.

who steals whose clothes and how often: Janie did a lot back when they were younger. I just know she has a bootleg Bart Simpson shirt in the back of her closet til this day.

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? ): Janie likes to lay her head slightly on Nick’s chest with his arms wrapped around her torso. It makes her feel safe, she won’t admit that tho!

how long they stay mad at each other: I mean the longest has been years, but with Nick out of jail and constantly bothering her even if she is mad at him; her tangents only last for a week or 2 now.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are: Something tells me they both like dark roast coffee. Something strong that helps keep them up.

if they ever have any children together: Heh, Letita and Levi are cannon in some verse of theirs.

if they have any special pet names for each other: Though it’s not a nickname mutually exclusive to Janie, sometimes when she’s feeling particularly fond of him (which isn’t too often) she’ll follow the footsteps of his family and call him Nicky.

if they ever split up and / or get back together: PLEASE, do I even need to go into detail?

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? ): Neat with a side of messede up whenever Janie lets Nick lounge around for too long, but even he knows better and cleans up behind himself.

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like: Technically they didn’t spend New Years or Christmas day with each other, but they did hang out around that time to make up for it as teens. I’d say it was pretty magical and one they’ll never forget even as adults since that’s when Janie gifted him their necklaces and made a little Nick tear up from joy.

what their names are in each other’s phones: Nick’s number isn’t even saved in Janie’s phone because she’s terrible like that LMAO. but I feel like Nick has her name saved under ‘Janie G.’ with a heart by it or something.

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? ):

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first: Even though Janie wakes up way earlier for work, Nick is always falling asleep on her early! She’s the first one to wake uo because work requires her to get up really early.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon: Janie prefers being the little spoon. It makes her feel safe.

who hogs the bathroom: Janie. She has to make herself look presentable for tv!

who kills the spiders / takes them outside: They both kill spiders because they’re kinda evil like that. I feel like Nick tries to turn it into some learning lesson and talk abt how the spider trespassed on territory that wasn’t his and got killed in the end and Janie is just like “....Shut the hell up 😐”

#( ANSWERED ASKS. )#( JANIE ANSWERED ASKS. )#( JANIE & NICK. )#bulletballet #streetsofsecrets

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taetaesbaebaepsae · 6 years ago

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BTS Reaction to Recording a Sex Tape

Idk who requested this but man y’all are trying to kill me, it’s been a while back I’m working on them but I need G A T O R A D E

Ya’ll asked for smut and I hope I delivered

Warnings: hoo boy, obvious smut, sex tapes, it’s a sex tape imagine there’s a lot of sex videos, some degradation, collars, choking, public sex, car sex, elevator blowjob, rough sex

Word Count: 2019 words of absolute sin

Namjoon

He’d be against the idea at first

You’d have to talk him into it, because he’s worried about it getting released, you getting found out as his girlfriend, all the scandal it might cause

But like, it won’t take too long to talk him into it, because he’s hard as a rock the second you suggest it

He will never film you with a phone camera or something like that he wants a real camera on a tripod

He’ll want it somewhere standing up, you bent over a chair, a couch, something, so he can play it back later and see every time your ass jiggles

This will be a LONG video, sis

If you’re down he will deadass film you fucking for two hours

He’d want to film something kinky af after he’d watched the first one 200 times on tour

You come in from work and he’s holding a collar and a leash with a sheepish dimpled smile

He’d be lowkey shy about it and tell you again and again you didn’t have to

He’s so soft to you while putting it on, kissing you all over your face

“I love you so fucking much for doing this stupid shit for me, baby”

The second that camera clicks on though?

Total change, eyes all hard, serious face, barking orders, tugging your leash, gently at first and then harder when you moan and he knows you like it

The only phone camera filming he’ll do is of you on your knees with your mouth full, because he will watch that endless times on tour, the way you wink up at him, smiling around his cock, how he uses the leash to jerk your head up and down

After you’ve sucked the soul out of him and he’s panting on the couch he’ll want you cuddled up next to him, take a break, be soft to you again

And then the camera comes back on and it’s all yes sir, no sir or you’re getting punished

He’ll fuck you so hard over the back of a chair you’re afraid it’ll fall over

He’s all praise, though, even when the camera is on, even when he’s calling you a whore

“You look so fucking beautiful with this collar on, baby. You’re such a dirty girl, my pretty little whore, I love you.”

He will be so grateful and sweet for a full week after you let him film it

“You have no idea how much this will help me get through being without you on tour, baby. Thank you so much.”

He’ll sext you while he watches it on tour, too, and the time difference will make it so you’re getting the dirtiest texts while you’re at work or in class, blushing beet red

Seokjin

Jin doesn’t give a FUCK about the potential scandal we know he does what he wants

You don’t have to talk him into it, he probably asks you

The only thing he’d be worried about is if you’re comfortable with it

He’s not kinky but he IS vain so he’ll wanna be in full display on camera

He’ll want you on full display, too, though, he’ll want a combo of phone POV filming so he can film your tits bouncing when you ride him and a tripod set up, possibly with mirrors so he can get every angle

He’s pretty vanilla, so he wouldn’t get kinky like Namjoon

But he would fuck you extra hard on camera

You'll roll your eyes at him at first bc he's very concerned about angles and lighting you're like "this is a sex tape, Seokjin, no one else will ever see it"

But when you watch it you're like, "oh, damn, ok" because look he DOES look amazing

All broad shoulders, that juicy mouth open in a moan

You're shook and maybe you watch it just as much as he does while he's away

He absolutely loves to hear that you're getting off to it while he's gone

"See, I told you princess. It's way better than porn, you get to see your worldwide handsome boyfriend fucking you instead of some spray tanned idiot."

He'll wanna make a dozen of them before a world tour

Will want to watch it with you when he gets back

"Look, right there, that's when you came the second time. Look at yourself, princess, you look so beautiful when you come apart."

Hobi

I get a real exhibitionist vibe from my man Hoseok

He's all for this as soon as you suggest it

"Can we do it right now?"

The first one will be something simple like filming you sucking him off

Seeing you through the camera really does something to him he moans so loud, comes so hard

He'll wanna film something wild the second time, so he'll suggest phone filming you in public

You going down on him in an elevator

Propping the phone on the dashboard and fucking you in backseat of a car

He's so bad at being quiet you're worried you'll get arrested

Nothing fancy about these he's no director, shaky cam and blurred images bc he gets more into the sex itself than filming it

You complain about your face being blurry

"I'm sorry! I was too busy making you scream my name to worry about the camera, babygirl."

He'll always call you when he's watching it on tour if he can

"Guess who's face I'm watching get covered in come right now?"

Speaking of, so much dirty talk sprinkled with praise in these videos

"You're so fucking tight. You take my cock so well, you naughty girl."

Yoongi

He'll agree right away because if you want it, he wants it

He's generous like that

But he'll barely be in the videos

It's all you all the time

He'll film you playing with yourself, film his fingers going in and out of you, closeup on your pussy while he's fucking you

That's all you see in the videos but you do hear his low voice, ordering you around, praising you, and honestly that's all you need

"Come for me, angel. Look at you. My good girl."

He won't admit it but he watches them all the time on tour, especially the ones where your face is in it a lot

Most of them are just you falling apart, him making you a keening mess underneath him, his hand around your throat, thumbing your collarbone

He'll let you film your own version from above while you ride him on the couch though, and it's your favorite, his eyes while he's watching you, his tongue flicking at the corner of his mouth as he bucks up into you, his low groans when he comes

He'd love it if you told him you were watching it to get off, if you called him panting, the sound of it in the background

"Aw, angel, you miss me that much, huh? How many fingers can you fit in that tight cunt, huh? Send me a picture."

Taehyung

The absolute best lighting

Perfect scenario, fucking candles lit and rosepetals and shit what a s a p

Tripod while he's slow dicking you, background music, sweet and sexy

He's all low moans and praise

A big fan of phone filming, but unlike Yoongi he'll let you film him just as much

"Jagi, you'll look so beautiful on camera. Let me film your face, yeah?"

Now, that's the first one

I feel a pretty strong exhibitionist vibe from Tae, for some reason

So subsequent videos will get better, hotter, rougher

He gets off on watching you get off, for sure, so he'd love it if you put on a show for him while the camera was on you, a little striptease, a lapdance while he's sitting in a chair, legs spread wide, tongue repeatedly wetting his lips

He'll watch you and pull out his cock, stroking slow, deep guttural moans, praising you in a hoarse voice

"God, I love it when you tease me, Jagi. You make me so fucking hard. Come closer."

He looks like a literal sex god when you play it back it's almost too much but that's when he gets shy

"Oh, God, no, I want the one of you riding me. I wanna see you, not me."

He'll watch them all the time on tour, when he misses you not just when he's horny because sex is love and love is sex in his eyes

Jimin

Blushing, giggly baby when you suggest it

You'll have to praise him to get him to do it

"But Jiminie, I want to have something for while you're away and you look so handsome when you're fucking me..."

Have I mentioned Jimin is a switch? Two thousand times, you say?

Well anyway, he's a switch from video to video it's wild

One of them he's dirty fucking you while you're on all fours, filming your ass jiggling, pulling out to eat you out from behind, he talks so much

"You taste so good, Jagi, you dirty girl, you're all but begging for my cock. You like how I fuck you, yeah?"

Next video you're riding him and filming his face and he's all pouty mouth open, whiny moans

"Aw, Jagi, don't clench around me like that. You'll make me come too fast...ah... please, let me flip you over. I'll fuck you so good, I promise."

You like to smirk and tell him how good his cock feels while you're on top because he'll throw his head back and moan so loud, cry out your name and buck up underneath you

He looks beautiful when he comes, mouth swollen from kisses, panting, and it's your favorite video in all the world

He will absolutely video chat you with his cock out if you tell him you're watching one of them

"I love it when you think only of me while I'm away, Jagi. You're my good girl, yeah?"

S w i t c h

Jungkook

"No. Absolutely not." Blushing, stubborn when you suggest it

"Don't you think it'd be hot to have a video of you fucking me for when you're away, Kookie? I'll let you do anything you want..."

Tease him a little and he's down he's an eager bunny

The first video will be quick and dirty

But he'll get high-key critical of them when you make more, become a director in the sexiest way possible

"Look right at the camera, babe. Ah, that's it, just like that. I wanna be able to see your eyes when you come, yeah?"

The best angles, honestly, close-ups of your pussy swallowing his cock, the line of your throat when you throw your head back and moan

He'll even worry about the acoustics of the room because he loves your moans, wants to be able to hear every caught breath

He'll set up cameras all over the house so if the mood strikes he can flip it on and fuck you on the kitchen counter

Will criticize his own stroke game after watching it several times

Will definitely improve

"I want to make you come at least three times in the next video, it was only twice in this one."

He will want to get a little kinky in a video, eventually, blindfold you, maybe bind your hands behind your back

He will get less and less shy, though, and his direction will be more giving orders and praise than actual direction

The Dom jumps out, is what I'm saying

Would love to film you while he overstimulated you to the point of near tears if you're down

Won't watch them with you unless you beg in person, shy about it

Loves to watch it on tour, every night with his earbuds in, though

Will demand you tell him if you watch it and if you text him he'll call you and talk you through it

Not shy at all over the phone, voice low and commanding

"Tell me where you want my hands, baby. Tell me how much you want my cock right now."

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fbdo1986 · 5 years ago

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idk the only fbdo prompt i can think of is cameron falls asleep on the couch so ferris and sloane have a contest to see how much random shit they can put on him before he wakes up. Besides that, the way you wrote cam & sloane’s 1st kiss was very good, how bout writing ferris and cam’s 1st kiss? Unless that’s gonna be in ur new fic of course. Anyway, i’ll be back if i can think of cuter prompts

yo anon… you’re the best!!!! how about i write both???!! it’s hard for me sometimes to write ferris/cam and i have no idea why?? but i’ll do it for you anon! and honestly i’m not too sure if my fic is gonna involve any kissing tbh! i kinda foster ideas as i go

okay! since i am incapable of putting this one in the same timeline of my sloane/cam fic heres one that goes post the fic im working on, which is an interpretation of that fateful day off! (it’s probably a few days after or so)

warning: slight mention of ab*se bc like. cameron’s dad exists

ALSO SORRY THIS IS SO FUCKING LONG I GOT CARRIED AWAY!

Cameron narrowly escapes to his room, his hands shakily pressing the button to dial up the Bueller residence. He was high of pure adrenaline, and unfortunately, fear. The spiel about how ‘he wouldn’t be pushed around any longer, and seriously doesn’t a teenager deserve to have a life of his own? and how he’s done nothing except nearly exhaust himself to make the man proud and he doesn’t even notice!?�� actually takes old Morris Frye by surprise, and in a good way. He ruffles Cameron’s hair and goes on about how for the longest time he’s been waiting for his son to become a man, and how maybe, he’s proud of Cam. That is, until he realizes Cameron’s mentioned the car. Then all bets are off. It starts with a loud bellowing yell and Cameron can sense it’s only gonna escalate from here. Quickly, Morris is inching his way closer to Cameron and even though Cam is giving an explanation as quickly as words can exit his mouth to try and derail his father, it’s no use for the man who loves his car more than his own family. The man is seeing red, the red of that precious 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California that tumbled to its death from the garage. And Cameron needs to get out of there before he gets any closer.

So he makes it to his bedroom, and the immediate response is Ferris. There’s no one who can save him like the boy who can get out of trouble in any situation. The line rings and he hears the familiar, moody hello of Jeanie Bueller. “Hey, it’s Cameron. Can you put Ferris on, please?” His voice wavers, and Jeanie immediately understands. Cameron won’t lose it, not like how he used to, but these things build up.

“Ferris! It’s Cameron!” Jeanie yells, and Mrs. Bueller asks if everything’s alright. Jeanie keeps silent, letting Ferris spill if he decides to.

Ferris has something inside of him that is fine tuned to discussions of Cameron or Sloane. This shout isn’t typical Jeanie tone, and immediate sirens begin to blare in his ears. From across the house he’s at the phone in the hall, immediately replacing Jeanie at the line. “Hey, what’s up?” He keeps his voice light. Maybe it’s nothing.

“Fer, I need an out. My old man is gonna kill me for this car. I mean it. He’ll find a way to give me hell. If it was his way I’d never come back.” He lets out a breath he doesn’t know he’s holding in. “Please.”

At this point, Ferris has nearly bitten the inside of his cheek raw. He suddenly regrets all the things he’s ever done to put Cameron at risk of being hurt by his old man. Sure, he did think taking the car out was good for Cameron—he always wished Cameron could loosen up and fully enjoy what good things happened to him—but he could’ve never imagined the state it’d be in by the end of the day. He meant it when he said he’d take the heat for this, and he still does. It kills him to know his foolishness could cost Cameron harm. Ever since Ferris Bueller understood just how horrible things get in Cameron’s house he immediately knew he’d always be there for him. It takes a little longer to realize the reverse is true, that he’d be complete and utterly lost without Cameron, and that he needs him to stay sane. He won’t let that show in his words or his tone. He’s gotta be strong right now because that is what Cameron needs.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll get you out of there.” He covers the receiver. “Jeanie, can I use your car?” A silent nod of understanding from his sister. Mrs. Bueller is insisting to take care of it, she’s always liked Cameron, but Ferris wants it all under his control. “I’ll be there soon, alright?” He asks Cameron, hoping he doesn’t know that he’s keeping his voice from shaking. At least he can’t see his hands.

A deep breath. “Thank you, Ferris. Seriously. You don’t understand how much I appreciate this.” Cameron always knows that Ferris is and always will be there for him, but he’s always grateful when he steps up for things like this.

Like lightning after Jeanie gives him the keys, Ferris races out of his house and hops into his sister’s car. Ferris is thankful for his driver’s license despite his absence of a car. And he’s thankful for Jeanie at this moment, too. And most importantly, for Cameron. He fights every urge to completely speed over there, since he’d never forgive himself for getting a speeding ticket on the way to his best friend’s house. When he gets to Cameron’s he makes his way to Cameron’s window. He’s willing to risk heat from Morris for sneaking Cameron out, and if the man even thinks he’s getting at Cameron for this he’s sorely mistaken. Has Ferris ever fought anyone? Absolutely not, but Morris Frye deserves to have a taste of his own medicine for once in his life. Ferris raps on the window as quietly as he can, his eyes lighting up immediately when Cameron turns to face him.

Cameron fights a loud, enthusiastic expression of gratitude, but his sentiments remain. “G-d bless Ferris Bueller.” Ferris simply grins. But his eyes widen with concern when he remembers why he’s here. “Wait, Cam. Are you hurt? Did that son of a bitch—” Ferris can’t stop himself from grabbing at Cameron’s arms and getting a bit too close to look at his face.

Cameron chuckles, swatting him away. “I’m fine, Fer. Quit breathing on me. But seriously, I’m alright.” He looks at Ferris, the absolute goof of a best friend right in front of him. Despite his cool exterior, he really does wear his heart on his sleeve. He’s thankful that all those threats that he’d find a new best friend were never serious. Cameron almost embraces him. Almost. He settles for a shared smile.

“Okay, let’s get the hell out of here.” Ferris rocks back onto his heels and Cameron swiftly stands up from his bed. They get out through the window and shut it tight.

The ride to Ferris’s is awkward. Ferris wants nothing more than to crack a joke and relieve this tension, but he doesn’t want to disrespect what’s just happened to Cameron. The radio is on low, playing the current hits. When they reach the Bueller’s Cameron is bombarded with concerned but sweet proddings from Mrs. Bueller and a comforting look from Jeanie. Cameron feels a bit lighter already, but he only feels like he can fully breathe once they’re in Ferris’ room. The Cars are softly playing from Ferris’s stereo while Cameron flops directly onto the bed and Ferris sits next to him.

“Jesus Christ.” Cameron’s voice is muffled against the comforter, and he slowly turns to face up and look at the ceiling. “I hate this. I can’t believe I have to run away to solve my problems.”

“To be fair, you’re not running away. You’re literally 10 miles away from your house. Plus, I helped you escape.” Ferris leans back on his palms and looks at the ceiling too. “Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t done it sooner. I wouldn’t last a day there. I don’t know how you do it. Fuck what Morris says, Cam, you’re the bravest man I know.” He breathes out a sigh and wishes he could say more.

Cameron shifts and turns to Ferris for a moment. “No way, man. That’s you.” They exchange a glance. Despite being friends for seven years, words like these don’t get shared often between them. “Thank you. Again. Not even just for this, Fer.” He looks at Ferris intensely. “My life outside of that house is what it is because of you. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

Ferris averts his gaze, but a smile plays on his lips for a moment. He pauses and draws out the phrase, “You, my love, are worth it all.”

Cameron’s face is immediately drowned in heat. He doesn’t know why this is so significant but all he feels is his heartbeat in his throat and he can’t help but sit up, dumbfounded. He looks at Ferris and there’s nothing that can convince him the boy was joking. Ferris, inversely, however, is turning pale.

“What?” That’s all that escapes Cameron’s mouth, but it’s not upset or repulsed. Only curious.

“Look, Cam, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it and it just slipped out and you’re just great, okay? That’s it. You’re just great, the problem is how great you are.” The words slip out so fast Cameron is just barely hanging on.

“I’m what?”

“You’re fantastic. You’re everything I could ask in a friend and more and I’ve just been thinking it over for a few days and I’m so sorry I ever jeopardized your safety. I need you and all of this wouldn’t even matter if it wasn’t for you, Cameron.” His eyes, deep with worry and passion all at once meet Cameron’s. And without a second thought Ferris’s hands are cupping his face and he presses a kiss into Cameron’s lips. Cameron’s caught off guard, insanely surprised, but as his heartbeat slows he can hear Ferris’s breath in an exhale and Cameron presses a kiss back into Ferris. Cameron smiles and after a moment Ferris parts from the kiss and looks up at his best friend.

“Didn’t mean shit, Bueller.” Cameron laughs and all of a sudden the light is back in Ferris’s eyes and Ferris can’t think of anything to do but tackle Cameron in a hug. It knocks Cameron’s lanky frame over, but they just lay there and continue to laugh.

#idk why the format of this looks weird while im posting hopefully its fine #IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I LITERALLY COULD POST THIS AS A FIC #also ofc this is ferris/cam based but yall know id die for the ot3 and i didnt wanna bring sloane in to complicate the plot #BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!!#ferris bueller's day off #cameron frye #my writing #ferris bueller #ferris bueller’s day off fanfiction #ferris bueller’s day off fanfic

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starryyastraea · 4 years ago

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SHIP/OTP Questions for my main ships: Cambeck, Lunarie, and Camarie :) (because I am not sure which ships will end up canon y a y)

1. Who is the early bird/ Who is the night owl?

Valerie is definitely the night owl in every situation. She cannot fall asleep before 11pm, but even then likes to stay up. What do you expect? This girl stays up studying fairy tales and magic and then of course has to do all her school work at 1am. She’s a wreck.

Luna and Camden are early birds, and go to bed early. Do not understand Val’s need to stay up. Luna likes to get up early to work out and get ready for her day. She likes to be productive. Cam likes to watch the sunrise and gets inspiration from the early morning crap idk. He likes to be up and awake and ready. They both like to be awake before everyone else in the house and have alone time before they need to put on their ‘masks’.

Oliver is both? He likes to stay up late but can’t sleep in. So when he can, he naps during the day. Which he can’t. Get this poor boy some sleep, he's a mess.

2. Who is the big spoon/ Who is the little spoon?

Cam is usually the big spoon and Val is the little spoon. He likes holding her and feeling like he can protect her, and vice versa. But sometimes, when Cam has had a bad day, he needs to be held. Val likes when she’s the big spoon because it’s when Cam is vulnerable idk words lol

Same thing here. Cam is usually the big spoon. Oliver would never initiate himself as the big spoon, but he wouldn’t turn Cam down if he wanted to be held.

LUNA IS A LITTLE SPOON LUNA IS A LITTLE SPOON SHE NEEDS TO BE HELD AND CUDDLED SHE IS A B A B Y HAH LITTLE BABY

3. Who hogs the cover/ Who loves to cuddle?

Okay so hear me out. They ALL love to cuddle. The most affectionate are Camden and Luna, then Valerie and then Oliver.

Val is a total cover hog, which is fine because Cam and Luna will just cuddle up to her and boom all is good.

Oliver. Will. Steal the covers. And when he’s sleeping he doesn’t care to cuddle. So Camden is lEFT FREEZING HIS LIL FACE OFF AND OLIVER DOESN’T KNOW NOR CARE BECAUSE HE’S ASLEEP

4. Who wakes the other one up with kisses?

Camden. Little kisses all over the face. With Val she’ll smile and return them, Oli will end up a blushing mess every single time.

If Val happens to somehow be awake before Luna? Like they both had a long night?? OOooffff. Luna is definitely that “Affection? Disgusting… Do it again” type of person so if Valerie ever woke Luna up with little kisses Luna would ACT like she hated them but they both know that's how she wants to be woken up for the rest of her life. Might do that to Valerie a few times and then deNY IT THE BRAT

5. Who usually has nightmares?

Honestly? Probably Luna. Her constant fear of wanting affection and attention keeps her up at night (Except not)

6. Who would have really deep emotional thoughts at the middle of the night/ Who would have them in the middle of the day?

B R U H. Valerie and Oliver would stay up late at night contemplating life and Camden would totally go along with it.

Luna does her thinking during the day around people. That's how she realized she liked females and maybe being popular wasn’t really everything and woah no one has ever been inside and empty room….

7. Who sweats the small stuff?

Luna and Oliver when it comes to basic everyday things. They are worry warts, no matter how much they hide it. So poor Val and Cam need to tell them they’re doing okay and just. S t o p.

Cam sweats the small stuff when it comes to his partner. He’s a hopeless romantic and just wants his s/o to feel like the most loved and happy person in the world and constantly feels like he isn’t doing enough.

8. Who sleeps in their underwear (or naked)/ Who sleeps in their pajamas?

They all wear pajamas but if Valerie were alone on a hot night she would not pass up just her underwear and a giant t-shirt.

9. Who makes the coffee (or tea)?

Cam and Luna usually do since they wake up early, but Valerie always makes extra because she's a thirsty gal

10. Who likes sweet/ Who likes sour?

Cam and Oli are wholesome sweetie babies who love sweet.

Valerie likes both. She can’t choose just oNE …. :)

Luna likes sour things. Sour. That’s why she herself is so sour. She doesn’t like dessert-type food either.

11. Who likes horror movies/ Who likes romance movies?

Camden is of course a sucker for romance movies, and so is Valerie. Oliver doesn’t mind them. Luna pretends to hate them and then finds herself up at 1am watching Hallmark movies. whoops

Cam is just a movie junkie and also loves horror. Val will watch them if someone else wants to, but does not go out of her way to choose to watch them. Luna and Oliver hate horror movies. Will not for any reason watch them.

12. Who is smol/ Who is tol?

Based off of energy, Luna and Cam have tol energy and Val and Oli have smol energy. Which works for their actual heights too…

13. Who is considered the scaredy cat?

Oliver and Luna lMAOOOO poopy heads

14. Who kills the spiders?

Camden would kill it, but Valerie would take it outside while Oli and Luna are crying outside and planning on where to move.

15. Who is scared of the dark?

Valerie actually is still scared of the dark...

16. Who is scared of thunderstorms?

Valerie and Luna. So they’re a mess together. Its… they need help…

17. Who works/ Who stays at home?

Val, Cam, and Luna would all go out to work. And Oli is the homebody who just stays home/works from home.

18. Who is a cat person/ Who is a dog person?

Oliver is a dog person.

Val likes both, leans toward cats.

Cam likes both, leans toward dogs.

Luna is not an animal person. Get them away from her. She won’t touch them. Gross.

19. Who loves to call the other one cute names?

VALERIE AND CAMDEN MOST DEFINITELY USE PET NAMES OMG KEEP THEM AWAY FROM ME EWW

Oliver might if he’s feeling confident. And we all know how Luna feels about affection. Gross

20. Who is dominant/ Who is submissive?

Luna and Cam are most definitely doms. Cam is more like,,, a soft dom? Luna just. Dominant.

Val is a switch and will most definitely dom both Cam and Luna and even though they’re also doms it’s like,,, you can’t just dom dom Val, y’know? If she wants to dom she’s gonna dom

Oliver is a subby sub we all been known hes b a b y

21. Who has an obsession (over anything)?

VALERIE AND WE BEEN KNEW

Cam has an obsession with memes and his love

Oli obsesses over books

Luna is obsessed with herself whoops

22. Who goes all out for Valentine’s Day?

CAMDEN OMG HE WOULD GO ALL. OUT. FOR HIS LOVE BECAUSE ITS LOVE DAY AND HE LOOOOVES YOOOUUUUu

23. Who asks who out on the first date?

Cam always makes the first move

Luna usually makes the first move, but Valerie had to ask her on the first date because Luna is an idiot.

24. Who is the talker/ Who is the listener?

Cam is the talker and Oli is the listener. Obvi.

Cam and Val? Booooth. They both do both. Mutual loving relationship. They’re idiots. I hate them.

Val will talk and talk and talk and Luna doesn’t listen unless it’s like a serious heart-to-heart. Luna doesn’t talk about her feelings and Val has to force them out of her.

25. Who wears the other ones clothes?

Ohmygosh Valerie wears everyones clothes regardless of who shes with.

When Luna/Cam see her in one of their shirts? They m e l t

Luna loves to dress Valerie up in her clothes

And Oliver likes to steal Cams clothes sometimes. He wouldn’t go out in public but Cam is just so much bigger than him so the clothes awh baby okay

26. Who likes to eat healthy/ Who loves junk food?

Valerie, Cam, and Oli all love junk food and Luna physically cannot down junk food.

Cam and Oli know how to eat healthy though

Valerie… she lives off of caffeine and potato chips she does not know what a carrot is. Like carrot cake? No? Then idk she dont know

27. Who takes a long shower/ Who sings in the shower?

Valerie does both

Camden and Oli take long showers

Luna is in and out. And somehow was able to effectively wash all her hair, clean and shave her entire body, give herself like a full facial and mani-pedi, buy a house, perform heart surgery, and like brush her teeth in like ten minutes.

28. Who is the book worm?

Oliver and Valerie lol

29. Who is the better cook?

Luna and Valerie cannot cook for crap

And Cam is better at baking...

Has Oliver ever even step foot in a kitchen??

...they’ll all just order takeout. for the benifit of literally everyone.

30. Who likes long walks on the beach?

Camden and Valerie would

Luna prefers to like,,, sunbathe. That’s the only reason to be at the beach lol

Oliver doesn’t do beaches.

31. Who is more affectionate?

Cam and Val and we been knew

32. Who likes to have really long (deep) conversation?

AGAIN. CAM AND VAL. IT’S LIKE THEY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER HMM

33. Who would wear “not guilty” t-shirt/ Who would wear “sin” t-shirt?

Luna- Not guilty, Val- Sin

Oli- Not guilty, Cam- Sin

CAM AND VAL ARE JUST SIN AHH

34. Who would wear “if lost return to…” t-shirt/ Who would wear “I am…” t-shirt?

Valerie and Oliver do be gettin lost tho

Need to be returned to Luna and Cam

35. Who goes overboard on the holidays?

omg Camden my boi. He’s just so excited and hyped. Also, his family is no help because they’re always going overboard

Valerie will also go overboard. But nobody beats Camden lol

36. Who is the social media addict?

Luna?? Have you met this chick??

37. Height difference or age difference?

Luna and Val have a three inch height difference (when Luna is wearing flats), and Valerie is older by like... two months

OKAY Valerie and Camdens height difference is 10 inches. awh. I’m a sucker for height differences look at themmmmm. And then Cam is seven months older

Cam is only three inches taller than Oliver :) And Cam claims the title as the oldest, being four months older than Oli

38. Who likes to star gaze?

Omh Camden is such a hopeless romantic and he’ll do this just so he can turn his head and see his love staring up with the stars in their eyes. Also so he can use dumb star related pick up lines on them

Valerie loves this! Look up at the stars! So pretty! She may not know anything about them, but she loves them!

Luna will join Valerie because yeah, they’re pretty :) And so is the cute girl next to her whoop

39. Who buys cereal for the prize inside?

.....Camden

40. Who is the fun parent/ Who is the responsible parent?

When it comes to parenting, Valerie and Cam would be a fun/responsible duo. They are both the good cop and bad cop. They know how to balance it, because they grew up with balanced parents.

Luna would be more responsible. She isn’t exactly a ‘kid’ person, and really didn’t have great parental influences growing up, and doesn’t want to have her child run off and be unsupervised/feel neglected like her

Oliver is in a similar boat.

SO THANK GOODNESS FOR VAL AND CAM

41. Who cries during sad movies?

Omg I swear Camden and Valerie are like the same person it’s disgusing. Anyways. They.

Oliver may? Depends on how sad it is.

Luna has no emotions. Gross.

42. Who is the neat freak?

V A L E R I E omg she will clean up the smallest mess. Which is funny because you look at her and her bedroom and think she’s a mess herself which she is but she’s an orginzed mess

43. Who wins the stuffed animals at the carnival for the other one?

Valerie and Camden will be competitive and try to win each other prizes, but like, against the other? If that makes sense?

Oliver will gladly accept what Cam wins for him

When Val offers to win one for Luna, she’ll be like ‘ew gross I don’t want one of those’. Valerie gets one anyways, and Luna adores it anyways.

44. Who is active/ Who is lazy?

Honestly none of them are lazy per se, but the most active I think are Luna and Valerie. I mean, Luna is just an active, work-outy person. Valerie just cannot sit still for longer than three minutes.

Camden and Oli like to relax from time to time. Just. Sit. Alone or with each other.

45. Who is more likely to get drunk?

Luna and Cam (poor Valerie lol)

46. Who has the longer food order?

Camden!! This boy eats a lot!! And where does it all go?!

47. Who has the more complex coffee order?

Ohmygoodness Valerie. She drinks so much coffee, and her orders are always different and bizarre.

48. Who loses stuff?

Oliver. Poor boy. Val misplaces things quite often, too.

49. Who is the driver/ Who is the passenger?

Camden is the only good driver here.

Between Luna and Val, Valerie drives but only because Luna refuses to. That does not mean she is good.

50. Who is the hopeless romantic?

The obvious answer here is Camden. He takes the cake for being a hopeless romantic. He loves the idea of love, and being in love. Having someone to love. Love. He goes over the top, stares at them, he’s just in love and isn’t afraid to show it.

HOWEVER

I think all of them, once in their relationship, shows how hopelessly romantic they are for their loves. That’s just what happens when you’re with the one.

lol. I know this isn’t like... how this was supposed to go but I couldn’t choose just one couple :)

#anyways #i hate all of them #and i say that in the most loving way possible #cool beans #valerie haywood #oliver steinbeck #camden fienes #luna hearst #cambeck #lunarie #camarie #my characters #ships #otp

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conspiracieys-archive · 5 years ago

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dusan nemec, but as a supervillain. what powers would he have, where would his base be, how would he keep his secret identity if he has on, what would his super suit look like, etc.

hmmmmmm..... this is a good ask! well... let's see. long as usual so i tried to cut it under a read more (but u know mobile tumblr doesnt WORK so im sorry)

his secret identity. he keeps it secret really well, just because he's got a real good poker face and he also doesnt attack, like, places that can be traced back to him. (the exception is the DedSec hq, assuming in this au theyre the superheroes in parallel to him)

but the hq thing is covered by the fact that there ARE a lot of anti-dedsec people ANYWAY (bc there's always gotta be a few ppl who just hate the heroes). but also hacking is a commonplace thing nowadays and in the WD universe (and consequently this au), hacking is just... Insanely Huge? everyone and their mom seems to be a hacker, so if electronic fuckery happens, it's not GUARANTEED to be his fault ya know?

(also he has like... super enhanced intelligence as a ..power (see below) so like, it's not hard for him to come up w excuses or be tactical about when he does his Villainous Shit)

[ALSOOOOO -im writing this after ive written almost everything else sry- he doesn't like..... reveal he has powers. to the world, Dusan Nemec is just an incredibly good coder and he's just got a genius intellect. but his Villain flaunts his powers and takes pride in what he can do.

so it's like "Well, Dusan, do what that villain did" and Dusan sits down and like, painstakingly writes line after line of code to try and mimic the effects of his technopathy but he can't do everything technopathy can. so it's really hard to pin it on him. ppl still suspect though. they always suspect.]

POWERSSSSSSSS. i was gonna save this for last but then i realized: his primary power is technology manipulation. the good guys with this power would be technopaths, but he LIKES the phrase 'technology manipulation' because Dusan likes to be able to manipulate things... people... technology... to do whatever he wants.

so like before he came into his power of technopathy, he was still really, really good with coding. he'd never admit to having hacked things before working w ctos, but he has. and then... [insert backstory here] and now he can bypass the need to code and just ... MAKE ctos respond to him. he can pull up any surveillance cam at will, he can access any file remotely (we will address this in the Super Suit section), he can hack the traffic lights, he can just... do anything.

and w his personality, THAT is what makes him a supervillain.

if you don't have ctos or blume devices in your house, he bypasses ALL of it and forces Blume and ctos software to install. hell, your sexy Samsung smart fridge? literally now it's just been forcefully turned into a Blume fridge. w his remote access he can just turn any phone he passes into a ctos phone. like only another technopath (DedSec - technopathy would be one of the biggest requirements to get into the core of DedSec) can prevent Dusan's abilities from infecting and destroying and essentially controlling their technology.

he also has slightly superpowered intellect. which i think is a stupid ability but also i'm giving it to him anyway cuz he's considered a genius within the wd universe. so why not throw in the fact that his mind itself, aside from technopathy, has been quite altered and has significantly more improved functioning than the rest of us.

and lastly he does have an Eidetic memory. which isn't rly a superpower by itself but in combination w superpowered intellect and technopathy makes it an asset to his power set, ya know?

he can and will remember exactly who has ctos installed, who doesnt, if he had to do it or if they were willing, etc.

and he definitely remembers every little tidbit he finds abt DedSec

ok so since we've established he's a technopath now, and we know there are weird basement levels of Blume's HQ, at least 3 rooms are just HIS to use. like no one, not even another technopath, can access them. just bc he has Blume HQ fortified to the nines. i mean DedSec could probably TRY and maybe succeed at getting into Blume HQ itself but like, they won't get into his underground base.

like no one knows that three rooms off of the server rooms are even... there? he's got sexy hidden doors. like false servers?? where to the eye they look and glow and flicker like proper servers but they're secret doors. legit no one knows they EXIST much less how to GET TO THEM. his HQ is, like, solid af

super suit. ok like the main thing is he has a helmet. like.... a fitted full head helmet w tinted tempered glass in the screen. it's all black on the outside, and like nice cushy fuckin memory foam on the inside (sleek and black too ofc) and the visor is also a computer. (remote access!)

his base outfit is a black fitted body suit that is also, like, technologically fitted?

i just want it to be glowy ok?? he also has it programmed so that when he uses his technopath abilities and channels them thru his hands, his finger tips light up bc he's just That Bitch.

in theory his helmet visor/screen could emote like Wrench's mask

over his body suit, he has like. ok bear with me but like. skinny black sweats? they're not super tight or super loose. they sit low on his hips and end mid calf. i love Dusan and i love his sweats ok. he wears them always i'm trash.

also he's stupid and has shoes build into his body suit basically? like they're really nice and have good support and they're just... part of the body suit.

no he does not wear anything over the top of his bodysuit. also obvs the body suit is like, from his chin to his toes, w long sleeves and gloves as well.

his glowy bits are like, sleet and soft grey.

it's gotta be weird cramming his dumb beard into his suit and helmet but he does it. for fashion and to give away as little as possible in regards to his identity.

oo also he has like a speaker in his helmet that works as a voice scrambler. so it's like. even harder to trace to him, and w his technopathy he can change the scrambler at will.

like deadass one time he attacks DedSec he makes his voice scrambler sound EXACTLY like Wrench and it's shaking.

he doesn’t have any visible logos, just cool tech-y lines down his sides, arms, and legs. probably his back too? by tech-y lines i mean the kind you see on microchips and stuff.

ok let's talk abt weaknesses bc i rambled abt how GOOD his technopathy is.

but bc of his superior intellect, and just based on canon stuff, Dusan is... like the ULTIMATE stereotyped villain in that he just... loves to Monologue.

so it's easy to drop a virus into his system if you just keep him talking.

like say he's showin down w DedSec and he has all but Marcus tied up and he's gettin ready to kill Marcus but Marcus gets him monologuing so, like, Wrench can use his own technopathy to manipulate a virus into Dusan's suit.

the thing is, Dusan is aware 99% of the time. he's aware of his suit's system. he's aware of how his system connects back to Blume HQ and his private offices off the server room. he's aware 99% of the time of everything

but when Marcus fucking Holloway plays dumb as a box of rocks, Dusan Nemec canNOT help but mockingly explain things to him. and Marcus is used to ppl thinking lesser of him, so it's really easy to play it up until...

WELL, YA KNOW???

n Marcus fucking BOOKS IT to save DedSec while all sort of DS imagery is popping up on Dusan’s visor screen and Ode to Joy but, ya know, the DedSec version all loud and violent, is BLARING into his ears and he cant THINK and he’s scrambling and by the time he can get his brain to focus and force out the virus, DedSec is gone

(he never learns, either. but sometimes it’s Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture or some shit. it’s always a different violent crescendo of a classical song, ok? he never ever learns but he comes to DESPISE classical music.)

that’s like, his biggest weakness. he can’t help but, well, mansplain when he thinks he’s better than everyone in the room (which is always) and someone asks a stupid question. he’s such a jerk in canon, and this au/concept makes it worse bc he has like, veritable proof that his brain is more capable than others.

and, for the grand finale of this answer, Dusan Nemec’s Super Villain name...

i have NO FUCKING CLUE. here are some options:

the Coder, the Hacker, MicroGhost??? bc he like... can come and go like a ghost??? microchip, fantasy name gen just gave me Incognito which is so stupid i love it??? idk give me suggestions.

tysm for the ASK. let’s get back on this DUSAN SHIT

#ask #dusan nemec #watch dogs 2 #dedsec #anonymous #bleep #i loved doing this actually?#thank you!!!!#long post

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ghoulboyboos · 6 years ago

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For they Shyan prompts thing, demon!shane constantly getting stuck in situations that would get him found out (idk like someone spilling a bunch of salt or smth)and Ryan has to keep coming to his rescue? Plz & thx, ly

Shaneispretty sure he isn’tbad at hiding his identity. Sure,he isn’tthe greatest, stealthiest demon to ever walk the earth but he isn’tterrible.

Fine,sometimes the cameras makehim look a little too much like his true self when heand Ryan arefilming episodes, but everyone lookskind of weird in night vision cameras. His eyes aren’teven black. If hereally wanted toshow his true eyes to anyone,they would get treated toeyes with barely any whites, true,but also no full black scleras.Just large, yellowish irises and stretched, horizontal pupils. Goateyes, funnily enough. Not quite like Steve’s. Shane’s don’tglow in the dark. He never did show off his eyes to anyone though. Atleast not until now.

Actuallyhe used to keephis demon self very well hidden. It really isn’this fault that he hasterrible luck.

Itstarts one Wednesday when he’s helping out in the Tasty kitchen.They need some additional camera work and Shane is taking care of thehand-held camera trained on Rie’s face. Everythinggoes just as planned until the momentwhen one of the interns knocks over one of the big jars in the back.Shane originally thought the things are just for decoration, but hefreezes when the jar smasheson the ground and salt – a lot of salt –suddenly spills out from the destroyedcontainer. Luckily, nothing actually hits his bodyand he’s spared from uncomfortable burns, but the stuffspills right between Shane and Rie. Sheis standing at a counter and the salt forms a completeand effectiveline that stretches from wallto counter and when she moves aside, Shane can’t follow her, sohe’s slowly moving to round the counter and keep the camera on herface.

“Hangon, Shane.” The director interrupts him. “Just step over it andget closer to Rie. We’ll clean it up once the segment is filmed.”

Shanebreaks out in a cold sweat. He can’t cross the line between thecounter and the wall. He is physically incapable of doing so. Even ifsomeone pushed him, Shane would hit an impenetrable wall. He couldeven get hurt over this.

Apologiesmanifest in his brain, each more ridiculous than the last and at theglare of the director, Shane shuffles back, carefully inching closerto the dreaded line of salt. He’s thinking, panicking, unsure ofwhat to do and what to say. He has to find an excuse. Somehow, he hasto save himself from being exposed.

Butthen, by sheer luck and coincidence, Ryan comes in with a dustpan andbroom and the second he dives and drags the broom through the salt,Shane feels a weight drop off his shoulders. He hides it with a coughand a shuffle to the side to give Ryan space to work and since theline is broken, he steps over the rest of the salt without anytroubles. The director iscool with Ryan cleaning up, Ryan has no problem doing it – he’shere to wait for Shane anyway so they can grab lunch together – andthe show can continue. Shane thanks whoever is having an eye on himthat Ryan’s urge to clean the set popped up at just the rightmoment.

Atleast, he thinks, there’ssomeone down there who has an eye on him. It’swhat he settles on as an explanation.

Atfirst.

“Don’ttry it, demon!” Ryan snaps, drawing the ridiculous water gun withsurprising speed and Shane staggers backwards on instinct.

“Wow!”He says, trying to sound joyful. “That’s spooky.”

Ryanis smiling, maybe even laughing as he holsters the gun again. Hedoesn’t “shoot” Shane with it like Shane feared and part of himexhales in relief.

Sure,holy water isn’t the worse that could be done to him. It would burnhis body a little and sure, it would hurt, but that’s not why Shaneis afraid. He can handle the little burns the water would leave onhim. He can handle the time and energy it takes to heal his body. (Itis his body after all, he had it commissioned. If he was possessingsomeone, ducking out was always an option but if you had your ownbody, you were sort of reliant on it and he really didn’t wantShane Madej to have burn scars everywhere because his friend laughedat the idea of squirting him with holy water.

Butthankfully, Ryan doesn’t shoot the water gun at him and Shane canrelax. He’s not exactly calm,because he can see that the plastic toy isn’t entirely leak-proof.While Ryan walks around on location, the water gun dropsoccasionally. Shane is far away enough to be safe, but it still makeshim uncomfortable.

The day after theshoot, TJ finds the plastic gun on top of Ryan’s bag and makes abig show out of having the one tool to destroy demons. Shane gets it,TJ doesn’t believe and Mark, who is the first to get shot with atiny stream of holy water doesn’t either. The cameraman is justlaughing as he ducks away from any more shots and before Shane canreally prepare, TJ has turned and is pointing the gun at him. Heinstinctively flinches and ducks. Of course, it won’t do anything.If TJ hits his clothing, the water will soak into it and burn Shaneanyways. It will hurt. It will burn. Butworse than anything, it will show the team what Shane really is.

Shane didn’t useto be so attached to people, but he likes Buzzfeed. It’s just theright place to cause the right amount of chaos and disgruntlement.People get irritated at videos and articles and it’s all Shaneneeds. Internet trolling is the future of demons, he just knows that.But now, TJ is pointing a water gun filled with holy water at him andeverything is going to get out. Except that the moment TJ pulls thetrigger, Ryan accidentally walks past Shane to get to his bag.

There is a surprisedsquawk and then a lot of enraged yelling mixed with Tjs apologiesthrough laughter and the sounds that Devon and Mark make in thebackground while they try not to openly laugh at Ryan. Shane onlyallows himself a snicker, a lot less than what he would usually leaveRyan with. Instead, he offers Ryan one of his sweaters while Ryan’sown dries and he’s surprised when is friend actually accepts.

The whole ride backhome, Ryan is wearing Shane’s sweaters and Shane tries to ignorethe feelings that leaves him with. If Ryan knew what he really was,he would never speak to him again. Better not set himself up forheartbreak, Shane thinks while he glances at the dozing Ryan.

He looksindescribably adorable in Shane’s too-long clothes.

It’s really nothow he imagined to be exposed.

Shane thinks thatnearly all of the seances, rituals and other little tricks Ryan trieson location are nonsense. Ghosts are so incredibly rare that evenShane with his true sight has only seen a few on location. On top ofthat, they usually aren’t active or powerful enough to interactwith them. Ryan tends to get himself too worked up and panicky aboutnothing and Shane’s rolling eyes and exasperated sighs are verygenuine in these situations. Of course, he wants Ryan to be okay andhappy. It’s not like he wants the little guy to have a heartattack.

If Shane iscompletely honest with himself, he will have to admit that there isno human he wants to be happier than Ryan. Still, he wishes the whole“tell Ryan you’re not human thing” could have happened outsideof Unsolved.

But Ryan has somehowmanaged to find a ritual that is actually a legit ritual to exposedemonic power. And Shane even helped him, being the idiot that he is,because he thought the thing is not going to work.

And yet, here he is.A red aura pulsing around him, the candles around the circle theyused for the ritual are flickering but not going out, no matter howhard Shane tries to snuff them with his powers. Ryan’s hand-heldcamera and the go pro on his chest are trained on Shane who hasstarted to lose control over his humanoid form. Ryan will be rich andfamous for exposing Shane. It somehow lessens the pain of having toleave this man and Unsolved and probably the world.

“I knew it.”Ryan says, smug expression on his face as he turns off first thehand-held cam and then the one on his chest. “I knew you were…like that.” He snorts as Shane can only stare at him with wideeyes.

“I figured youneeded some assistance with keeping… you know. On the down low.You’re not really the most subtle person, with all the talk ofeating pickles out of ponds and enjoying the work of the torsomurderer and that stuff. But… you’re still my best friend. And Itrust that you won’t eat my heart when I help you, okay?”

Shane watches asRyan shows him the footage he managed to capture of Shane’s trueform before deleting it. Shane still has a heart in this form andit’s beating hard and unrelenting in his chest as he stares down atRyan.

“But… what?Why?”

Ryan smiles andreaches out to take Shane’s hands. The nails have grown, but skinand bones and fingers are still the same shape.

“I figured out awhile ago that you weren’t human, but when I kept an eye on you,you never seemed to harm anybody. So… I figured since you wantedthis to be a secret, I would help.”

“Oh.” Shane saysdumbly. He blinks. “Does… does that mean that it’s okay for meto tell you that I like you?”

Ryan chuckles.

“As long as demonsaren’t somehow murdered by affection, I’m cool with that.”

Shane chuckles abit. His cheeks warm as embarrassment takes him over.

“We’re…not. But I guess you knew already. You seem to know whenever I neededyour help.”

Ryan chuckles andbrings Shane’s hands up to brush a kiss over the knuckles.

“And you seem toknow whenever I need your words or presence on location. So. Whateveryou saw and kept from hurting me or whenever you got me to leave adangerous room… thank you.”

He smiles up atShane and Shane has to swallow and clear his throat a couple oftimes.

“Of course.” Heleans his forehead against Ryan.

“Thank you aswell. For keeping me safe.”

#shyan #skeptic believer #demon! shane #mini fic #prompts #ask #anonymous #Anonymous

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macdentrash · 6 years ago

Note

what do you think will happen with macdennis this season?👀

WARNING: I went off on this I’m sorry, I’m just a passionate macdennis stan trying to make a living in this cold cold world

I honestly don’t know and it’s got me all stressed lmao but I can give u my absolute best hot take👀*warning I’m about to go off* so let’s start at the beginning of s13 to look at the dynamic™… so we’ve obviously got Mac sad with Dennis gone, Dennis left a number for a mental health clinic and Mac’s gotten as he says “super ripped” which probably has something to do with his body issues (esp in relation to Dennis and his masculinity). Anyways we obviously have MAC getting a fucking sex doll of Dennis and when Dee asks him if it’s Dennis he’s just like “Yeah? Of course” like who else would it be? But even MORE interesting is the fact that Cindy tells Mac she wanted him to start dating to fill the void losing Dennis left in his life… like at this point it’s just obvious that Mac is DEEPLY in love with Dennis and that just keeps us wondering if Dennis reciprocates. In the strip club scene during ep 1, Mac just seems mad at Dennis (”Dennis is a bastard man!”) and encourages the gang to try to move on (this is important to my theory so hold onto that my dudes) which means that Mac has the potential to get over Dennis eventually if he gets to that point of frustration... but either way when Dennis comes back Mac is still all like :’) all smiley and happy, and Dennis is looking at Mac like That™ and immediately makes a comment on Mac’s appearance. So after the first episode it’s still like... what’s the fuckin VIBE RCG hmm? Because I didn’t know what was gonna happen after that first episode but hopeful because even those few seconds they were interacting were so...gay... like wtf and then they come for MY SCALP in MY HOUSE by BLASTING the BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN?

Lmao...anyways after the fucking chaotic nut bust that was s13 ep1 I was really keeping an eye on episode 2 for the Macdennis vibe of the season because ya girl did NOT know what to expect. And what do they do? HMM? They let Megan Ganz clear my skin and feed my crops by giving us the fuckin Sherlock based Macdennis au we never really asked for but desperately needed (mostly because of the fuckin pipes they have later cuz that shit is so funny to me)... anyways episode two was gay, we know this. Like? They kept looking at each other like That, the fuckin HEART LOCK (there was absolutely no reason that it needed to be heart shaped, RCG explain), fuckin “let’s keep this between us”, “the game is afoot”. Woo hoo anyways, they were just acting like they used to and it was nice okay? Also the Denny’s t-shirt and Dennis looking at Mac all love sick at the end when they go see Dee...

So after episode 2 I’m like okay GAY, it’s gay folks! That’s the vibe! And I was so ready for Time’s Up because at that point all we’d really seen was Dennis with the UGLY up on the projector and them sitting next to each other like That. So originally I thot that it was just gonna be like a low-key Macdennis ep and I so ready for that and just seeing the gang all together... and then Megan Ganz came for us all and TIMES UPPED the gang and we were all so shook. Megan Ganz giveth and Megan Ganz taketh away as they say. I know this episode is NOT about shipping but this post is and so I’m gonna analyze, don’t come for me. So Dennis obviously told Mac to “stop kissing him” (which is different from saying “stop TRYING to kiss me” but anyway) and that it “was never gonna happen”. Mac looked hurt but seemed to be ok, he still called Dennis out on that fucking picture (”what year was that taken?!”) and was still joking around at the end. So i was obviously fuckin SHOOK by this whole thing and was really excited to see what happened in New Wheels because I felt like their dynamic could go in any direction @ that point.

Wow this is long but I’m already this far so :) let’s keep it rollin (get it? like WHEELS? I’m here all week folks). So at the beginning of New Wheels Dennis is obviously trying to get the gang to talk to him about going to ND and nobody really seems interested. What I thought was interesting was the camera angle, for the majority of the time Dennis is talking the camera only shows Mac and Dennis in the frame, it almost looks like they could be alone? Which is not a mistake, there has to be some reason they edited it that way. But more importantly Dennis is saying like “I appreciate you respecting my privacy by dancing around the subject” etc and he keeps looking at Mac. Also when Dennis says “you guys want to ask about my family” Mac’s just like “I don’t” which is what Dennis deserves tbh. Anyways Mac kind of seems to be keeping his distance from Dennis in this episode which is interesting after the events of Times Up, maybe Mac’s just listening to what Dennis wants, he’s backing off maybe? I don’t know but when they’re in the car dealership Mac and Charlie leave in the middle of a conversation with Dennis to go look for bikes and Dennis looks a little confused (again it’s what he deserves). Later, when Charlie asks Mac why he doesn’t do better, as in find someone to date, Mac just says “it’s hard out there”. I want to focus on this because um? Mac’s fuckin built and looks like a fuckin walking ray of sunshine so I don’t think it’d be that difficult for him to find someone, just saying. Is it hard out there for him because he’s in love with Dennis? Yeah, probably. Mmmm moving on, Mac and Dennis aren’t together again until the end of the episode and Dennis is all happy and singing Rick Astley, he still gave make a Look through the mirror and all seemed to end well.

WOW so based on all this evidence I’ve brought to you in this Paddy’s Pub tonight, this folks is my theory:

Mac and Dennis will be ok and probably acting like good friends™ in The Gang solves the bathroom problem. Probably no major developments but most likely some pure macdennis content. I think things will get more intense in the Superbowl episode. And I know what you’re going to say: “But Kaitlin... it’s a flash back episode so Dennis probably won’t be in it” and to that I reply that with Charlie gone they will be down to 3 members of the gang so I feel like Dennis is going to pop up at some point. He probably won’t be there in the beginning but maybe half way through? Idk. I love the idea that Mac and Dennis get caught on the kiss cam and they just do it cuz fuck it but Dennis is way too into it for it to just be like a “haha i kissed my gay friend on tv lol” kind of moment so he freaks out (which could go back to Times up and Dennis saying “stop kissing me” etc).

Now! For Mac Finds His Pride I have some BIG IDEAS folks. So Frank is going to try to get Mac a man and Mac might be hesitant at first but warm up to the idea. How I picture it going down in my mind’s eye (yes, my 3rd eye is open) is: Mac is at the bar flirting with a good looking guy and they’re talking/laughing, standing really close and leaning in to each other (sound familiar?). Dennis is having fun at the party they’re having in the bar for pride (boys are out tonight huh?) until he turns around and freezes when he sees Mac and this dude. His face just goes stone cold and he is the embodiment of a jealous gay (think of the gang misses the boat and all of his mascara Dennis glory). The guy leans closer in to Mac and looks like he might kiss him, now Dennis can’t let that happen can he? So he goes over to the bar and just goes “hey Mac!”, Mac spins around and Dennis does some gay shit right then and there either kissing him (I think I would have a heart attack if that actually happened though) or giving him some “I HAVE BIG FEELINGS” type speech. Either way BOOM Macdennis is canon. This is how they leave it for the season and we’re all forever shook to the core.

Now, I know that it becoming canon wouldn’t fix their toxicity and problems but that’s for season 14 me to analyze (we’ll hope anyways!).

*DISCLAIMER: if you got this far, I love you and we can all get through this trying time together*

#asks #this is so fukin long I'm SORRY #macdennis #iasip #this is over 1.5k words i need help

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justastraightupmess · 6 years ago

Note

💘 p e r i s h.

where they first met and how

touma dropped his fkin burger and levi laughed his ass off at how distraught he seemed. then touma was like “doki doki” but in an art way and wanted him to be his muse, to which levi obviously said yes ://

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

Hmmmm, for levi it was a gradual thing. he’s fairly quick to catch feels, but the just rlly started getting more and more serious. it started off with, oh hes cute, then i wanna smooch his face, then i wanna date & fuck him.toUMA is still all. fkin touma i guess so ://// levi would like to know exACTLY how he feels for him immediately pls.

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

Levi. definitely.

where their first date was and what it was like

Touma probably took Levi to some art exhibition and it was boring as shit for Levi but he was just happy to be there, Touma felt bad though and tries to pick better places in the future.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

lmao. Levi confessed his feelings bc he was acting like a jealous asshole and ruined Touma’s date so does that count??

who proposes first

I mean. It’d have to be Touma bc Levi refuses to be the one to propose he wants to be proposed to, only he’s dropping not at all subtle hints for like 6 months so.

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

loooooool. hidden. very much hidden.

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

It’d probably be more on the private side of things. I feel like either Touma would try to make it a lil romantic, nothing like massive, but just some cute meaningful things, maybe over dinner. Or alternatively he fucks up royally/chickens out too much, and like Levi finds the fucking ring in his sock draw and comes out crying like “tf is this??? are you-- omg yesyesyesyeyes” and touma’s like “gfdi i didn’t even propose yet levi u cant say yes yet jfc my life is a mess”

if they adopt any pets together

Levi loves pets !!!! he loves animals !!! he’d want a pet. except touma would want a snake and levi refuses to be anywhere near it while he feeds it ://

who’s more dominant

ahhhhh i mean, i feel like Levi is definitely capable of being more dominant, but as it stands at least he sides a little more on the submissive, or at least like just a bit of a brat rather than dominant side of things. levi loooooves it when touma sudden;y gets a little dominant like hes wEAk for that. But i think later on when Levi tops bc its gonna happen at some point his more dominant side will come out. Anyway they’re both switches so I guess it depends ??

where their first kiss was and what it was like

that one time on the couch when levi just said he wanted to rest on touma but then it turned into cuddling and then oops he kissed him then oops it turned into more :///

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

levi would adamantly encourage this behavior, but he’d have to force it on touma. probably just small things around the house tho definitely not something they’d wear in public or anything.

how into pda they are

well -- levi is super into it but he is taking it very very slow for touma

who holds the umbrella when it rains

either or ?? they dont have a big height difference so it doesnt matter

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

at home bc touma has no money and never leaves his fkin house

who’s more protective

probably neither rlly?? but maybe levi

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

mmmm it probably won’t take long lmao. levi is ready to go whenever touma is

if they argue about anything

I’m actually surprised they don’t argue more often bc levi is a shit, but touma is such a pushover he lets him get away with too much. I think down the track they’ll definitely run into some issues abt levi feeling neglected and also pda stuff tho

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

it’s pretty even. they both leave a lot off hickeys in a lot of places, but levi also likes to leave some scratches from time to time

who steals whose clothes and how often

LOL LEVI WOULD NOT STEAL ANYTHING FROM HIS WARDROBE SOZ TOUMA BUT NO. and touma doesnt care abt that stuff so he wouldn’t either

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

near constantly and it’s mostly just levi lining to touma for dear life. levi is on him all the damn time. any kind of cuddle he can get tbh.

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

that doesnt exist to levi :// maybe just ?? chilling at home ?? watching smth ?? cuddling ??

how long they stay mad at each other

touma is a pushover so not long. levi can hold a fkin grudge and will until touma apologizes then he’s over it, so however long that takes, but also hes petty so he’d bring it up again.

if they ever have any children together

pls never let either of them have a child together pls they are not ready. maybe when they’re older but i doubt it

if they have any special pet names for each other

uhhhhh minou, mon amour, tou, lev, senpai-kohai

if they ever split up and / or get back together

yIKEs. big potential for this but i fkin hope not. they’re are a lot of things that could go wrong

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

clean, levi doesn’t like a mess. he had to designate a special space for touma to paint bc he cant deal with all that mess

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

sad and lonely probably bc levi was away from home and touma is a shut in.

what their names are in each other’s phones

touma would literally just have “levi” with nothing extra or emojis and levi would have “touma” with one thousand emojis

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

they probably don’t have anything like that tbh

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

touma falls asleep first and levi wakes up first

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

they switch

who hogs the bathroom

fucking levi ofc

who kills the spiders / takes them outside

touma for sure if he thinks levi is going near that spider he has another thing coming

where they first met and how

at school and they didn’t rlly like each other at first :/

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

they didn’t have a fkin flirting phase they had a friends phase then everett caught feels and now they’re friends that fuck. feelings from luke are just starting to get involved but they’ve got a while to go

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

ev fell first like the dumbass he is

where their first date was and what it was like

luke tried to take him to a movie and then dinner all traditional and romantic but its dumb and they both hate it

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

i guess luke “officially” asks him out. probably just being dumb and all shy abt it tho

who proposes first

luke. probably has to a million times bc ev is all fuk the man and stuff

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

a secret bc ev can’t and luke rlly doesnt want it getting out right away

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

it’s only probably rlly dumb, like they’re just sitting on the couch watching tv, ev has half a soft pretzel shoved in his mouth and luke just looks over like “will you just fkin marry me you idiot ??”

if they adopt any pets together

probably at some point i feel. maybe a dog or a cat. and then ofc ev is like “we dont need to have kids we have the cat/dog” and luke is like “no”

who’s more dominant

HA. Luke easily

where their first kiss was and what it was like

on the couch, everett teasing him followed by luke losing his shit right after

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

god no. everett would straight up refuse and i highly doubt luke would want any of that anyway

how into pda they are

not very ?? i doubt they’d be much different to how they are now anyway??

who holds the umbrella when it rains

luke bc he’s taller and also bc hes a big strong man obvi

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

i doubt they have one since someone refuses to go on dates :////

who’s more protective

they’re actually both pretty damn protective tbh, but definitely luke bc he borders on/is super possessive lmao

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

...........well if u count blow jobs it didn’t take long at aLL but uh. actual sex will take a while bc ev is a virgin and luke is a little scared to go that gay :/

if they argue about anything

HA. IF. good joke. they argue about everything, literally everything.

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

I think they both would leave their fair share of marks tbh

who steals whose clothes and how often

Eeeeevvvvvvvv all the time. half bc hes just trying to be a brat and educe luke :/

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

at first probably just spooning until they get a little more comfortable with each other and then face to face too

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

does fighting count?

how long they stay mad at each other

oh boi. they can both stay mad for aaaaaagggeeessssss. it probably just depends on whether luke is willing to give in first bc as soon as he mellows ev does too

if they ever have any children together

B| well. they’re at a bit of an impasse rn so we’ll see lmao

if they have any special pet names for each other

maybe all of their countless insults?? also ev and lu/lulu

if they ever split up and / or get back together

idk. i don’t think they’d split up unless they meant it for reals. they’ll fight but they’d both stick it out and try to fix it unless it was something that rlly couldn’t be fixed. so if they split up it’d probably be for good. or at least for a few years or smth ??

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

probably clean bc luke makes a good househusband and cleans up when he’s bothered

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

just happy. luke would be happy to be chilled and relaxed and with ev and not with his parents lmao

what their names are in each other’s phones

it’s probably “dumbass moron” and “giant prick”

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

yeah no theres no way they do that shit

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

they probably sleep at the same ish time and ev wakes up first

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

usually luke is the big spoon but i also love the idea of everett just wrapping himself around luke sometimes too

who hogs the bathroom

ev more than luke, luke doesnt rlly give a shit abt his looks he’s in and out done.

who kills the spiders / takes them outside

luke hates them but he’ll catch them and put them out, cringing the whole time

where they first met and how

andrew “saved” daiki from being hit on and it was all downhill from there

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

uhhhh. well i guess from daiki the two were interchangeable??? andy caught feelings pretty quickly but he just doesn’t realize what they are

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

i guess daiki did in his weird daiki way

where their first date was and what it was like

what fkin date all daiki does is get frisky :///

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

daiki does except he does it through trying to fuck him all the time

who proposes first

daiki would it honestly wouldn’t even cross andy’s mind and then he’d be shooketh

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

they wouldn’t hide it but i dont think they’d broadcast it to the world either

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

probably mid-fuck or smth honestly daiki is trash. he probably just says “i wanna fuck u for the rest of my life bunny~

if they adopt any pets together

well there’s mottle, andy very very very slowly warms up to her but thats abt it

who’s more dominant

oh andy obviously ://///

where their first kiss was and what it was like

the day they fkin met bc daiki is trash

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

i could see daiki ironically buying smth rlly dumb for them both to wear

how into pda they are

if by pda u mean daiki trying to fuck him in public -- very

who holds the umbrella when it rains

Andrew brought it with them but Daiki holds it

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

any place they go camping

who’s more protective

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiki

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

B| not very fkin long jesus

if they argue about anything

abt daiki being possessive and violent, and also eventually abt him not treating andy like a person and treating him like a fleshlight constantly

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

Daiki, bc hes a possessive fuck

who steals whose clothes and how often

Uhhh andy does sometimes?? not often. just bc it was cold and his hoodie was there so :/ he ends up getting fucked in it tho so

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

Both, except it doesn’t stay as cuddling for long bc daiki is trash

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

nonsexual activity ?? don’t know her

how long they stay mad at each other

andy is weak, so most of the time not long, unless it’s something serious then he’ll hold his ground.

if they ever have any children together

please dear god don’t let daiki procreate ever no

if they have any special pet names for each other

bunny.

if they ever split up and / or get back together

it’s possible. if daiki doesn’t change his act and stop being conSTANTLY sexual and if he doesn’t stop his life of crime.

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

Clean bc andy is organized and clean

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

shit bc daiki only gives sexual presents and andy actually puts thought into his gifts

what their names are in each other’s phones

“bunny” and “daiki” bc andy is simple

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

their couple tradition is making andy cry

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

andy falls asleep first and wakes up first

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

andy is the little spoon daiki big spoon

who hogs the bathroom

neither rlly ??

who kills the spiders / takes them outside

daiki.

where they first met and how

adonis was hired for a job and it went horribly

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

i dont think they rlly flirted so much as it’d just be friendship and then caught feels

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

it was probably adonis tbh, after he got passed his initial anger he realized mitsuki was a good person and got a big ass puppy crush on him

where their first date was and what it was like

playing video games and mitsuki realizing just how terrible adonis is at them, they try like so many different types to see if he’ll be better at them but he is not

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

it probably wasn’t anything special?? just confessing and then asking naturally through that??

who proposes first

idk but i kinda like the idea of adonis doing it

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

they wouldn’t hide it tbh they’d jsut walk around holding hands or smth and ppl would know ??

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

nothing big, but probably a little cheesy. adonis says smth like “will you be my romantic interest forever? without u there’s nothing to drive me towards my character development” or some shit idk. but it’s cute and hes laughing as he says it and all blushy and adorable okay

if they adopt any pets together

well they’ll have that devil dog so i guess :/

who’s more dominant

somehow mitsuki is :/ but maybe one day adonis will be able to

where their first kiss was and what it was like

probably terrible and messy and they hit each other’s faces or smth

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

ohhhh adonis would love that. give him the matching mugs

how into pda they are

not super, adonis just wants to hold his hand. but also apparently super in pdsexual intercourse

who holds the umbrella when it rains

either or??

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

finishing mitsuki’s manuscripts

who’s more protective

hmmmm it’s probably equal?? not super protective or anything but they’d stand up for each other when they needed to

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

apparently not long rip

if they argue about anything

they argue abt mitsuki being gross

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

adonis leaves a lot of scratches

who steals whose clothes and how often

adonis rlly likes wearing mitsuki’s clothes bc they smell like him and its nice

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

probably facing each other and being super mushy and gross and pure

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

games. even tho adonis sucks

how long they stay mad at each other

not long at all

if they ever have any children together

i doubt it, neither seem that interested in having kids

if they have any special pet names for each other

Suki and Adonny

if they ever split up and / or get back together

Doubt it. They dont rlly fight or anything so??

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

Not super messy but not super clean either

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

well -- santa ended up riding his reindeer

what their names are in each other’s phones

“Adonyais” and “Mitsuki

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

every year they buy a new game for adonis to play bc it literally takes him a year to beat the game sometimes that snot even enough

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

adonis is first for both, being awake at night time without sun is actually pretty draining for him

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

they swap

who hogs the bathroom

adonis but not a lot

who kills the spiders / takes them outside

mitsuki

#wow i rlly dragged daiki in this damn #also adonis proposing to mitsuki is a great concept #snw-cnvs

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ethereal-pluto-blog · 6 years ago

Text

I feel like shit today

I'm lethargic, slow, crying, and insecure. So yep ~depression~ has come to rear its ugly head once again.

But since I'm not into the whole anti-recovery thing, I'll give you some useful tips on how to maybe help YOUR depression that doesn't seem like a generic twitter self help thread. (Though I'll mention some things I found helpful and give explainations as to why.)

Talk to your therapist/counselor/mental health expert if available. Not everyone has the luxury of seeking professional help, but if you have the opportunity, PLEASE go to a professional. However be noted that it's often an experience to go through many different experts to find the one that matches your specific needs/ you like the most. Also keep in mind there are also online therapists ready to help if you're not big on one-on-one contact like myself, though often insurance is tricky. I put this one first because it might be the most beneficial for some, though not readily available for others.

If you have the strength, shower. Showering/cleaning yourself is a blessing in itself as it gives you a sense of detox. Though if you don’t have the strength or motivation, try some of this instead-

Utilize facewash and lotion. Particularly facewash that makes your face feel all chill and tingly, it makes you feel more refreshed. Lotions and cream will help you keep skin smooth.

Simply get wet with water, a quick 5 minute rinse in hot water is less of a chore than a full shower.

Dry shampoo will help with hair oiliness. Though if you don't have access just brush your hair and pull it/part it so it's out of your face.

Baby wipes. Baby wipes will cure yo soul. But seriously use baby wipes and rub them on your face, underarms, and genitals. A good rub down will help prevent you from feeling gross.

Splashing your face with cold water, it makes your pores tighten up and as a bonus it'll wake you up.

Utilize deodorant and vaseline. I haven't tried it out for myself, though if you put down deodorant and then vaseline on top it should trap the nice fragrant smell. And while you're at it you can put on cologne / perfume if you think you're getting a lil ripe, but if you want to smell like a fresh shower use ones that are labeled "shower fresh" or "baby powder."

If your lips are chapped, put on some balm shisters. (I don't trust the brand chapstick, I'm a conspiracy theorist okay I'm soRRy)

Change into some cleaner clothes. They don't have to be normal everyday clothes but at least change into new clothes, especially underwear.

Clean your fingernails/toenails. Clean under them, since random junk can get stuck up in there. Also clip them if they're too long for your liking.

Brush your teeth. But if you can't, use mints, gum, mouthwash, mouthspray, etc, or a combination of those. Anything minty will make your mouth tingle and feel fresh and clean.

Clean yo ears! Since probably nobody uses an ear vacuum (like you're supposedly supposed to idk I'm too broke for that shit anyways) just be careful using Q-tips.

If you don’t have any deodorant, try hand sanitizer! I'm not kidding. Put a dollop under each underarm, and let dry. Smells are caused by bacteria, so if you get hand sanitizer, it should greatly reduce smell.

Try to get some sun. Using the natural sunlight will help you absorb vitamin D. So open up the blinds and photosynthesize binches. Though it also helps to open up the window if you can, a breeze/fresh air blowing in with the smell of outside might even raise your mood. Though if it's currently shitty weather outside, try turning on your lights to match your circadian rhythm, so keep lights on during the day and dim it at night so it'll help with letting you be on a decent sleep schedule.

Feeling like there's no hope or that your future is going to be shit? Highkey me too, but here's what I do to combat that feeling.

It's corny, but I write a whole idealized future for myself. I write about my dream job, I write about my dream s/o, I even imagine the type of house I want to live in, the kids I'll have, what kind of pets I want to own. Etc. Although the economy is shit and no future is guaranteed, it's nice to put some positivity into light and show what I really want in life. I don't want to be some millionaire, I just want to be comfortably well off with a family and people that love me. And in all honesty a future like that isn't hard to obtain.

Even if you can't imagine a good future for yourself, imagine being a part of your friends or loved one's futures. For example, you know your friend who's dating this really cute person that you totally ship them with? Imagine being a part of the bridesmaids/groomsmen for their wedding when they tie the knot! Imagine your really smart friend finally graduating from college and you're at their graduation party giving them a speech! For me this really helps since I aspire to be drinking buddies with my best friend's future husband. (I'm rlly goofy ik lmao)

Feeling stressed about not doing anything? We've all been there. Try:

Doing work if you're due for assignments, though don't do it alone, if you can, arrange a group text/tutoring session/Skype call. If everyone is focused on getting something done then you'll be motivated to do it with them.

Though if you don’t absolutely have to do anything but want to do ~s o m e t h i n g~ I also got your back on this too.

Organize your inbox for your email. (Ik I'm lame)

Tidy/clean your room/any room if that gives you something to do.

Make your bed.

Cuddle someone/something.

Rearranging your stuff in your room, makes it feel like a whole remodel tbh.

Burn candles/incense. Don't ask just...trust me on this it can change the aura.

If you're religious, practice!

Take aesthetic photos of things in your room. Download VSCO and experiment with it. I also recommend Huji Cam and Afterlight. All are available for IOS and Android.

If you appreciate music- use YouTube and find some Playlists, or if you can, spotify premium will save yo mortal soul.

Like video games? Play some! Or if you're a brokeass like me, let's plays and walk throughs work well too.

If you got pets, pet them. Do it. Snuggle. Or if you love animals in general go and watch some vids on YouTube.

Build a fort.

If you're an artist or appreciate art- draw! Or you can watch animatics, animation memes, art channels, or follow artists on here or on Instagram and Twitter if you want to be inspired, or just observe.

Have a certain series you keep putting off? Watch! It! Netflix/Hulu that shit. Or cable TV works too.

Go on Wikipedia and just go on an adventure. Click from link to link and see where it takes you. Learn some weird new facts!

Read a new book.

Read the news/watch the news.

Write about a certain topic that you're absolutely fascinated about.

Watch movies!

Join a club/interest group. You can do this online too and it'll help meet people with similar interests as you. You can make new friends this way.

Give your friends a call/text. Having conversations will keep you occupied.

Self love aka masturbate. Or have (safe) sex with someone you trust!

Workout

Do some makeup/skincare routine. Even if you think you look bad just commit to practicing.

Sometimes it's just funny to go through and read some Reddit threads so be safe when surfing on there.

Stretch and move around! Dance if you wanna!

Do your hair/experiment in some new styles, maybe even dye it if you feel daring.

Have an icon you stan? Stan HARDER.

Watch iconic vine/rare vine compilations until you can memorize them.

Clean out your phone contacts of people that are irrelevant/toxic!! Out of sight out of mind! Don't hang on to them if they did you wrong. All the text conversations will just make you feel worse!

Actually cook your favorite food, cooking it will make you more dedicated to eating it and give you more of an appreciation for it.

Organize your closet.

Organize anything in your room/closet. Throw away things that you don't need or are too old to use.

Start collecting things, stuffed animals, pins, snowglobes, you name it.

Pinterest is addictive lowkey so try that if you're into that kind of stuff.

Write! Write a new story, write poetry, write about your feelings, write a letter, write fanfiction, express yourself.

Use Duolingo to try and study a new language to learn. (The owl will harass tf outta your email though but as long as you do like 5 minutes a day he won't bother.)

That's about all I can think of but feel free to add more for activities to dedicate your time to.

If you need to, because of your self image, don't go and stand in front of mirrors. If I stand in front of a mirror too long I'll end up scrutinizing myself and find a flaw after flaw. If you are specifically insecure about something with your body, look up models who have the same thing! Like if you're insecure about having vitiligo, look up Winnie Harlow! She's gorgeous! If you're insecure about being chubby, look up plus sized models! If you have a tooth gap, there's plenty of people like you! You don't have to feel ugly because of that when you have these awesome models rocking what they got.

Vent. You can vent to your friends, family, or even online. There are apps that allow you to vent anonymously to others without the fear of judgement. But if you can't do that, take a pen/pencil and write something down in your notebook. Though don't reread it to keep drowning in the negativity, once you write it, shut it. You can do the same on Google Docs online, once you write down everything, delete it. Don't keep trying to fuel your negative thoughts and bitterness, get your rant over with and be done. It's like a fresh start. (Plus on my Instagram spam account I always feel really silly looking at my old rant posts, so I usually delete stuff afterwards when I'm not feeling so in my feelings).

Don't expect recovery to be in a straight line. You'll have amazing days and also have extremely shitty days. Recovery isn't hoping to never experience shitty days, recovery is being able to feel the strength on those shitty days and know that they'll pass, and with each storm you'll be stronger than before. Don't push yourself to be flawless, because shit happens. But you'll make it through. And that's what matters.

And last but not least, seek emergency help if you feel like you're dangerously close to ending your life due to pain. Call the suicide hotline for support, because the pain can ease soon if you ask for the help that you need and deserve.

Not everyone that reads this is going to be like "wow this really helped me cope with my depression/mental illness!" But my goal was to at least try. It may not work for everyone unfortunately, but I hope that anyone dealing with a mental illness is on the road to recovering. Because I know how it feels. It feels sucky as fuck. But if this helps even just one person, then that's enough. I hope everyone has at least a decent day, and I hope that everyone's pain eases soon.

#depression #mental health #mental disorder #positive mental attitude #mentally ill #trigger warning #tw #anxitey #strategies & tips #tips #self love #self care #personal growth and development #road to recovery #recovery #remission #illness #i love you

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idealisticrealism · 7 years ago

Text

Blindspot 3x02 recap

Aka the one where the team has to get their groove back

Ah, man. I always intend to do these straight after the ep but then damn life always gets in the way and now suddenly somehow it’s about 12 hours until the new episode airs… let’s see how quickly I can smash through this one then, huh? (Answer: not very quickly lol)

As usual, many thoughts to be found beneath the cut.

Look I’m not really a fan of hunters or white men who are overly attached to their weapons, but murdering a couple of dudes just because they stumbled upon your shady militant business seems a lil bit rough tbh

Ugh Weller is cooking for his lady he’s such a cutie pie and ugh Jane slept so deeply, when was the last time she slept well?? But ugh they’re really settling back into being around each other and HE COMPLIMENTS HER HAIR and tbh I like it best when it’s the classic ‘Jane Doe’ short look but this is super cute (and better than the wavy hair from last ep). And wow I feel like we’re burning through a lot of topics in this brief scene bc now they’re talking about how Jane disappearing pretty much bankrupted Weller (man, that’d have to add some guilt to the pile), and then it comes up that Jane is now vegan and tbh I have a slight problem with this new fact. Like okay being vegan is fine, but firstly they already had at least dinner together the night before, so this kinda should have already come up, right? And secondly I kinda feel like her being vegan now is just a somewhat clumsy way of the writers showing how these two have both ‘changed’ and ‘don’t really know each other like they used to’. I honestly expected her to be joking, and for that little joke to actually demonstrate that while they’re not exactly the same as they were, they also haven’t radically changed. But nevermind, I guess. It provided the necessary setup for Weller’s question about any other surprises-- following which Jane says nothing about the passports and cash she’d hidden-- which is what the writers really wanted to get out of this scene anyway.

Poor Stuart, Patterson really does not like sharing her lab. But technically he’s right, it is his lab too. And omg he and Zapata giving Patterson shit about her app is priceless. I think it might have been unintentional on his part but Zapata sure ran with it and I am loving her sly grin rn lol. But aw Patterson why you gotta growl at lil puppy Stuart so much?? He doesn’t have the tattoo solving experience you have, and plus, I seem to remember you obsessing over certain specific tattoos and getting distracted from the rest… though maybe the David experience put a stop to that, I guess, and you subconsciously don’t want Stuart to head down that same path. And then lol Weller strides in and tells Patterson he wants to solve one specific tattoo today and ooooh she is pissed, whereas Zapata’s having more fun rn than she did in her entire year at the CIA. I knew you missed this, girl. And then Weller says he solved part of the tatt and she’s immediately like ‘excuse me? By yourself?’ and looks doubtful (and also possibly concerned? It’s not something dodgy is it??). But omg “I’m not just a handsome face, Tasha” hahahaha. And yeah yeah we know about Roman and Berlin, though it’s news that there’s a specific sequence to these tattoos and that Roman is supposedly trying to help save the world. And now the team is crackin’ and ugh Patterson to Stuart “What a math whiz you are” and on one hand it’s funny but on the other c’mon mate, go easy on him. He’s barely more than a baby. Anyway ten she pulls some wizardy stuff with the tattoo and they figure out that it marks a spot up near the finger lakes. But then Jane realises that it may connect with the pre-existing tattoo in the same spot-- the left breast, apparently, thanks Stuart (next time answer a little slower, buddy) and omg she gives him this tiny, amused (but not mocking) smile as she repeats ‘left chest area’ and ugh I’m so glad to see someone being sweet to Stuart.

So the team updates Reade on the sitch, which feels a lil weird, and he’s hesitant to let them rush out and blindly follow the tattoos like Weller wants to, bc he’s worried about them being manipulated again, and oooh Weller gets all grumpy about it. Boys, boys, play nice. Jane gently convinces Reade into it, while Weller continues to grump. Dude, I don’t particularly think Reade should be in charge, but the fact of the matter is that he IS in charge, so you should be watching your tone. It doesn’t matter that you have inside info that this is a time-sensitive situation, that is still not a respectful way to address a superior officer. And then lol they go out and search for hours until Reade tries to make them go home “I don’t wanna just quit”/“it’s not quitting if it’s an order”. Lol poor guy, it’s like dealing with a bunch of headstrong kids some of the time. And then suddenly a satellite literally crash-lands right near them, and is pretty much immediately descended on by a bunch of military-esque guys. Notice that Weller is calling the shots again? Old habits die hard, I guess. Poor Reade….

Stuart is still obsessed with that same tattoo and PAtterson is still annoyed by it. Reade and Weller walk in with a chorus of ‘so what have you got?’ and again, Weller, time to back down, buddy. This ain’t your team anymore. Lol “we’re not following hunches”/“We just followed Weller’s hunch…” ugh poor beleaguered Stuart. He just can’t catch a break. And sigh, looks like Rich won’t be helping out this ep. Bummer. Ooooohhh but Reade gives the orders and then calls Weller into his office, who definitely has an odd look on his face as he looks at their reversed positions either side of the desk. And omg Reade brings up the tattoo and Weller’s all ‘oh yeah I was right about that’. Uh excuse me??? I’m not even on this team and even I don’t like your tone one bit, you insolent little preteen! Come on, Weller, this level of juvenile pettiness should be below you. After all, Reade is raising a very valid question about how it was that he just happened to solve the tattoo on the very day that the satellite fell-- which means he’s onto you, buddy. I’d be treading with a little more care and a little less jerkishness, if I were you….

Oh hi Sydney! Oh man when was this filmed??? I stg if they were there when I was there in September…. But oooh damn Roman is getting into some deep stuff here at this support group. Oh hey! I know that guy, he was in an ep of Timeless. And I think possibly in some Aussie ad? Idk. And yep, I don’t care if it’s my native accent, hearing it in an American show is always freakin weird. At least he’s a legit Aussie and not putting on a terrible fake accent haha. And ok I know he’s not but it kind of feels like he’s almost hitting on Roman haha? But in actuality I’m pretty sure Roman has orchestrated this whole thing. Also this dude lives in The Rocks??? He must be loaded, wow. And lol, it’s never too early for a beer in Australia, unless of course you’re me, in which case ‘never’ is too early for a beer haha.

Oooh boy, Stuart, it’s probably not a good idea to literally take the words out of Patterson’s mouth. She really does love briefing the team and showing how smart she is, which in this case involves her having figured out who the satellite belonged to. The representatives of ProtechSat arrive, though are greatly confused since they’re not missing a satellite-- at least, until they see the one in the lab. “Oh, this is for sure ours” hahaha. And then they proceed to have very restrained freakouts and make multiple phone calls as they realise exactly which satellite it was and what it did, while the team gets more and more impatient waiting for answers “getting a little suspicious here guys”/”lotta red flags” hahaha I love the sass in this team. And then lolll the whole ‘We’re from the DOD” exchange and the explaining of the acronyms is priceless. Turns out, though, that the US has a missile shield thingy via a network of satellites, and now with the black box from the crashed one, someone could technically turn it off. Lol at Tasha’s “great, now I have to make a phone call” haha. And Stuart suddenly gets the company name and damn I love this show’s subtle humour. Uh oh, apparently North Korea is priming their missiles, which means possible nuclear war. Geez, high stakes or what. Oh hold up, as long as a single satellite in the network stays functional, the shield stays in place. Who wants to bet that they stop the bad guys just as it counts down to one or two satellites left?? And then lol “stuart’s got something” “Really??” damn Patterson, be nice lol

Stuart has discovered the situation with the hunters, which leads them to a trail cam that shows the ringleader’s face-- and Jane knows him. She worked with him doing K&R, and knows several of his aliases. Reade is immediately thinking of the ramifications of her previous work, but Zapata and Patterson both immediately jump to her defense. Aw, my girls! And then Weller’s all grumpy again over this discovery and tbh I don’t understand why?? As far as I recall, he didn’t ever directly ask her what she’d been doing while she was gone, and rescuing kidnapping victims certainly doesn’t seem like a bad thing?? Like, so what if she worked with some questionable people for the greater good? Geez, Weller, you’re more hormonal in a single day than many girls are throughout their entire teenage years. Chill out, son.

Back in the motherland, these rather similar looking dudes are bonding over more beers, and ugh Roman is telling him the truth about Shepherd and Jane. “Half the time I want my sister back, half the time I want to kill her”--- who wants to bet that that’s going to be a running theme of the season lol? And then haha “you’re next beer’s going to be a water” uh mate he’s American, the beer he’s used to practically IS water loll

Jane finds Weller in the locker room to apologise, which imo isn’t warranted, but whatever. And he says that she ‘did what she had to do’ and I LOVE that she corrects him and tells him that she did it bc she WANTED to? That’s right, girl, don’t let him alter your narrative to fit his views. And then he judges her about people she may or may not have killed/let die and dude. Duuuude. You’re being an assssss. Good thing Patterson has found some info on their bad guy. Sidenote, but I think the writers managed to slip in a subtle dig about gun control in there and I’m super impressed? Anyhow Patterson shows them the guy’s safehouses she found, which Jane is immediately able to narrow down to one based on her skills and her personal knowledge of the guy. Nice work, honey! And then they bust in there and oooh “this is for Paris”-- ok I need that backstory right now, please and thank you. We see some Korean guys in a car who have apparently already discovered that their contact is blown, but they apparently have an ace up their sleeve. Uh oh….

Oooh Zapata is ranting to Patterson about ‘Assistant Director Reade’ and man it’s weird hearing her use his title. Patterson tries to highlight things from his perspective (with another lil jab from Tasha about her app making it in there haha) and then tells her she might just need to figure out a new balance, likening it to her own ‘friends who hate each other’ thing with Stuart, and Zapata’s all ‘yeah no he definitely doesn’t know that that’s what you are’ and Patterson suddenly feels all bad. As you should, honey, coz you’ve been kinda mean to him this whole time. But aww she says she’ll be better and fix things and ugh I love seeing my babies listen to each other and work to improve themselves. Of course all her good intentions do kind of go out the window when she discovers that Stuart is back to using their processing power on his pet tattoo, and advances on him so suddenly that he literally knocks stuff off his desk in his haste to back away. Ugh the poor kid is terrified of her, despite being practically twice her height haha. She does make a good point that the nukes are all still live and the threat is far from neutralised, though. And lol she refers to the hacker as a he and the ProtechSat guy pipes up in the background “Or she!” and Patterson is all, “Exactly, women can be hackers too, Stuart!” and omg I shouldn’t laugh but the poor guy is so flustered rn and totally scared of her, and Zapata is in the background with her face in her hand hahahaha.

Oooh Reade comes in and diffuses the situation by being completely oblivious to it haha, just as he misses the sass Tasha directs his way. Then he goes in to interrogate the dude they caught and lol when he suggests he’s the hacker the dude is all “Do I look like a nerd?” Ouch man, didn’t you know anyone can be a hacker? Lol. And then “is that the good Korea, or the bad one?” okay I kinda like this guy haha, can we see more of him? Weller is definitely less impressed, taking the opportunity to shame Jane a little more for her past career choices, and dude you better get down off of that high horse before you FALL off of it. You’re hardly one with any right to be throwing stones here. But at she stands her ground, and he backs off a little. You go, Jane.

Oooh Reade is getting a pep talk from Hirst; she thinks he’s overcompensating now that the team is back. Well, that’s probably true. But on the other hand, certain members of his team (*cough* Weller *cough*) are also being prigs. Speaking of people who are being butts today, the bad dude (who is a butt) gets a visit from Jane (who has a nice butt) and there’s lots of sass being thrown around-- “I liked you better when you were unaffiliated” “Funny, I never liked you at all” hahaha yaaaassss my queeeeennnn. Oooh but hold on, he knew about her bounty? And didn’t act on it, due to a mysterious person called Clem telling him not to touch her. Wow, Clem must be powerful. They’re probably a dude, too, but just saying I have an Aunty Clem and though she’s a 5ft nutritionist with a pixie cut and giant glasses, I could totally see her as a mastermind/commander figure haha. I guess they already did the ‘Surprise! This character you’ve been hearing about is actually a woman!’ reveal with Shepherd tho. But anyhow based on Jane’s chat with her old work buddy, there may be a leak in the team-- and of course the first suspect is the ProtechSat guy who happens to be a POC. Original. It’s only when he has an alibi--- sidenote, why was he at the hospital overnight I really wanna know-- that anyone even remembers that oh yeah, he has a colleague who has also been there the whole time, and who they now know had the means to frame him. But I mean she’s a pretty white lady, so who could blame them for not suspecting her til now? (#me #Icould) Aaand now the innocent lil white lady just killed two poor dudes and is about to give the baddies the means to nuke the whole country. Good work, team.

Back by the bay, the beardy boys are bonding beautifully. Poor Aussie dude just really wants to make sure Roman isn’t a risk to himself-- but he doesn’t realise that he’s the one at risk. Roman deliberately targeted him, drugged him and is about to kill him. And ughhh the poor guy is all ‘I don’t wanna die’ and Roman seems to almost regret that he has to do it bc he seems to genuinely like him and duuuude just don’t do it! Don’t kill him! Be a better person!

The ProtechSat guy helped them figure out where the hacker chick is, which I’m super satisfied by bc the guy that they wrongly accused has now just helped save their asses. And Jeller are racing there, and Jane tells Weller she loves him, but it’s with a look of almost trepidation on her face, like when a dog thinks you’re mad at them so they’ll come up and lick your hand and try to be extra cute and lovable. At least Weller immediately says it back, then reassures her that he’s not mad at her, but at Roman for orchestrating all this, and tells her that they can’t let him drive them apart. Mmmm-hmmmm, this is the time when you mention that you ALSO have something to confess, boy! But nope, looks like we’re not free of the hypocrisy yet. Anyhow the team dashes into the building (awkwardly hiding their guns from all the kiddies), guided by Patterson to the planetarium where they find a dead Marcy. Also the voiceover narrating about asteroids and meteorites sounds very much like it’s an analogy for this show’s characters… meanwhile the team is suddenly being shot at, a (male or female, thanks guys) hacker is shutting down all the satellites, Patterson is yelling… it’s just like old times. And finally the team functions like old times, and Reade and Tasha manage to cover Jeller long enough for them to go and take out the hacker and his guards in a kickass lil showdown-- leaving them with two satellites playing Atlas and holding the whole thing together. Lol at Reade losing his comms and being like ‘So did we win or did we get nuked?’ haha. And then awwww the team’s all gathered back at the lab and Reade is giving a lil speech and I’m so proud of them. Also no drinking in the lab is a new rule-- I feel like this was somehow put in place because of Rich haha.

Aw, damn, Roman really killed him. Well, that sucks. But he needed his identity or whatever, so fine. But omg it’s hilarious watching Luke pretend to ‘learn’ how to speak with his own native accent haha. Also when are they going to explain the absence of the scar???

Oh boy. Weller is cooking tofu sticks, which is not going at all well, but it’s a sweet gesture. And yet again I kind of expect Jane to say she was joking about the whole vegan thing, idk why lol. But ugh he’s all ‘I’m trying so hard’ and I really do feel bad for him rn. He’s scared that bc there’s so much about her now that he wasn’t part of, that it will mean he’ll never really have her back or something. But um dude, literally everyone else in the world is with someone who has years of experiences that don’t include them?? Like with her memory wipe, her entire existence is pretty much only like 4 years long at this point, and she was with you for 2 and a half of those. Most people are with someone who lived twenty or more years before knowing them. So I suggest you reassess a bit here, buddy. But then again I know you’re only scared of losing her again, which is probably a fear you’ll carry forever (which as we know, is a situation I am displeased with the writers about). But ugh Jane basically suggests going out on a date which is cute, and Weller’s all ‘no go we’re broke’, and she’s all ‘well actually’ and shows him her giant stash’o’cash. And it’s one of those bittersweet moments bc yes she kept it from him but she was keeping it for an emergency, and had likely planned to tell him once she had realised how dire things had gotten financially. Thankfully Weller decides to focus on the positive, and well, they don’t make it to that date….

Awww Tasha shows up at Reade’s apartment and there’s sass and it’s cute and he apologises and then she’s all oooohhh you’re on a date?? But NO OMG he has a GIRLFRIEND and she looks VERY FAMILIAR and ooooohhhhhhhhhh boyyyyyyyy this is gonna get awkwardddddddddddd

Meanwhile Patterson is repeatedly calling Stuart to try to apologise and explain her recent behaviour which I really approve of and appreciate, and ugh she tells him he’s good at his job and ugh she’s actually gone to his apartment to see him but oh shit the door is busted in and please tell me he just went back to the lab to work late please please please oh shit oh nooooooooooooooo. Stuarttttttttttttt!! Oh my baby this is so unfair, you deserved so much better…. (Also poor Patterson ugh)

#Blindspot #Blindspot recap #Jeller #Nooooo Stuarttttt #:((((

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