#no clue whos even posting im too tired.

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again

sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now

Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.

And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.

and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.

no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.

and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.

im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.

and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently

in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.

there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.

no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.

[nicromancytarot]

NICROMANCY GETS SCAMMED - EPISODE 2

All I do on this app is complain.

Hello and welcome to part 2 of me possibly being scammed?? (I feel like this is deserved now, am I just really unlucky or something?)

16th of March @samisinsomniac messaged me for an exchange, I gave them their reading the next day 500 words as I mentioned I preferred, they responded with my reading the next day too, only with around 200 words, but I was thankful nonetheless!

I gave them a thank you, and some feedback on the reading, they also gave me a little bit of feedback for the one I gave to them.

On the 30th of March they messaged me again for some clarity on a situation through another exchange.

I got to their’s as soon as I could (which was immediately since I wasn’t busy that day), they were busy, but that’s ok, they said they would give mine to me by 10pm Indian standard time. India is 5 hours ahead of me, as I am set in the UK.

I proceeded to give their reading to them, 500 words as before, not only did I not receive any thank you, I also didn’t receive feedback. If you’re a Tarot reader, you will understand how crucial feedback is for us to better our talent and improve our work, and they know this very well, as they even mentioned to me during our first exchange for me to let them know how it resonates, and leave some feedback in their ask box.

To make matters worse, they did not give me my reading by 10pm IST. (It’s getting realll)

Here is their response to my reading, the blocked off part is me explaining the person’s feelings for them, I don’t want to put anyone’s personal information on blast, which is why that is covered.

They then said that they would send the reading to me that evening.

It was not delivered by that time either. DUH DUH DUH

I messaged them a tad worried, perhaps they’d been hit by a car and I was just being mad for no reason. They let me know that they had a medical issue, which made me feel evil for pacing my room in anticipation (I didn’t actually do that, only inside my mind palace)

Finally, I received my reading! It was… 200 words, but alas! At least I got it and everyone is alive.

Now the average person would take this as a lesson not to exchange again, just in case they get caught up with another medical issue you know, or maybe the reading is short. (Which ever one is worse. IM KIDDING)

They had a birthday! Turned 18, that’s great, I’m also 18, they messaged me about it, then asked me if I did 18+ readings.

Sometimes I lack context clues, but personally I feel like my confusion here is pretty valid. Plus! Their profile said they don’t do 18+, I’m very valid in my confusion.

Anyways! They ask for my question, I give it, then they give me theirs, they ask if it’s ok, I let them know it is.

But I was hungry and needed to shower, so I also let them know that.

They were doing my reading at 7:26pm, I got out my shower at 10:48pm…. somethings not adding up! So I sent a little message, letting them know about my recent scam, and how I did not want to get scammed again so they would have to send it first.

However, they have not responded, it’s been 3 days, since they apparently started my reading? Now I’m no Tarot Goddess, but I’m pretty sure you would be done with a reading by day 3.

Listen, I don’t wanna fight or argue, I’m just a little funny guy who does Tarot, no fight in me, you message me in caps and I think I’ll cry.

This is not to cause an argument, or to throw hands at anybody, I just don’t like being lied to or taking advantage of as a smaller Tarot reader.

It’s only been 3 days, I was planning on waiting longer to post this, however I feel like now is fine as I’ve clearly been lied to about when they started their reading, which I’m not sure if it was to receive theirs early from me, I got no clue dude, what I do know is I am really tired of people doing this to me, please stop, before I actually cast a spell for you to clip into the back rooms.

Scammers: 2 Nicromancy: 0

Please stop scamming me, you’re embarrassing me in front of my spirit guides. 😔

[wandas-lovey]

I’m being delulu so i started wondering (¡again!) what life with five would be post-season 3. But like…he’s a teacher in this…

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

* after all his siblings left when Reggie reset the universe you’re left with a mopey five

* you’re both pretty sad the first couple of days having just lost the people you love most :(

* but we don’t have time to be sad we need to get jobs!!!

* im gaslighting myself into believing that five and you have a place to stay the first night in the new timeline instead of being homeless 💀

* five becomes a teacher in the new timeline and you can’t convince me otherwise

* and what do you know!! you become a teacher too :D

* five would definitely teach math while you’d teach history (cuz you traveled through time when working with the commission, idk just go with it)

* while your classes may be a bit hard for the students you two are definitely the schools favorite teachers!!

* i mean why wouldn’t you be? the students can’t get enough of the two mysterious young teachers who showed up out of nowhere in the middle of the school year….

* you two definitelyyyy didn’t threaten the previous math and history teachers to quit their jobs or else they’d be dead by nightfall

* I just know many students are crushing on you BOTH. have you seen yourself lately? You look great ;)

* you both find it funny tho cuz they believe they’re crushing on teachers who are in their early 20s when it’s actually two 50 year olds in their younger bodies

* you two wouldn’t be the type to eat lunch with the rest of the faculty. you’d eat together in each other’s classroom enjoying your time together even if it’s for a short time

* five’s the type of boyfriend/teacher who interrupts your class for the dumbest reasons just cuz he wants to see you :,)

“can i borrow your stapler for a minute?”

“i’m in the middle of class right now”

“Yes I’m aware but i need to finish stapling the students review packets”

“you bought a stapler yesterday…”

“yeah but yours works better”

“OUT!!!”

*your students definitely find it cute :)

* after witnessing playful banter between the teachers that was a little too ~flirtatious~ the students get suspicious of what’s actually going on between their math and history teacher

* “are-are you and mr.hargreeves together..?”

* up until this point neither of you have confirmed to your students what your relationship was with each other

“unfortunately we are” you say with a smile on your face

*after confirming your relationship that day, your students spent the rest of the class asking you all types of questions about your relationship

“how did you and mr.hargreeves meet??”

“how long have you been together?”

“did you ask him out first or did he ask you?”

“why did you wait this long to tell us??”

*when your classes switch out and head to their next class with mr.hargreeves they try and pester him too about your relationship

“why aren’t you married yet?!?”

“ oh wow. i didn’t realize that was any of your business”

* you two are the kind of teachers to always be chosen to be chaperones for school dances.

*five definitely complains the entire night about being tired and wanting to go home

*who could blame him. watching over teenagers for hours making sure no one’s bumping uglies is exhausting

“how much longer till we can leave? This music’s awful. I’d rather throw myself off a building than be here.”

“Five…we just got here”

“What’s your point?”

*after a long night of watching over whore-knee kids, you head home ending the night with curling up on the couch and falling asleep in each other’s arms while The Breakfast Club plays in the background

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

i have no clue how to fucking end this 💀

also this shit ain’t proofread

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A year later and this post is still better than the way season 4 ended 🤨🤨

[brucewaynehater101]

im having SIGNALIS thoughts and it gave me an idea

Okay so in the book, The King in Yellow, "A common thread is a fictional play also called The King in Yellow, the reading of which either drives people mad or leads them to a dark fate." - TVTropes Literature page for The King in Yellow

iirc, the first act is completely standard but Act Two is when things get fucky when its contents--well--gives people insanity or a less than stellar fate

Jason was the Second Robin, and can be seen as Act II of the legacy of Robin; Jason's revival gave him a Second Chance at life, an Act II to his first life; Jason iirc was the Second Red Hood, taking the name from the Joker who gave it up

((wait if his Second Alias is Joker does that make Joker another King in Yellow in a sense??))

Moving on w/ the idea of the Act II bringing madness, when Jason died, thus being an ending to Robin's Act II, Batman fucking lost it, and Jason was arguably at his lowest after his ressurection and donning of the Red Hood moniker

combine this w/ the idea of Jason being a literature nerd and you could maybe do something w/ this, maybe he or someone else notices and points out this admittingly surface level parallel between him and The King in Yellow

do w/ this what you will

Alright. I did some research for this one.

To make this somewhat understandable for me, it's kind of like The Ring? The Ring is a movie about a recording that causes the people who watch it to become haunted. The King in Yellow is a series of short stories about a play called The King in Yellow that causes people to lose their minds. The King in Yellow (as a creature) seems to be a god-like being that will one day rule all earth kings??

The color yellow, at that time period, had the meaning of disease and mental illness to the point of insanity. Thus, the ties between The King in Yellow and the color yellow are clear.

Fuck. I'm going to get into color symbolism, aren't I? Fuuuuck. Alright:

Yellow - Joy, remembrance, caution

Red - Strength, danger, passion

Green - Rebirth, Growth, Jealousy

Purple - Luxury, ambition, royalty, devotion

These sets of colors are vital to Jason's story and Joker.

Anyways, for the story you mentioned, what I saw indicated that "the first act" was pretty normal. One line into the second act, though, and the audience was hooked until they met their own mental demise. Perhaps Jason's story could indicate that too?

So, he stole the tires from the batmobile and got dropped off at Ma Gunn's school. Jason beat them up with Batman and then, immediately afterwards, got called Robin by Batman. He hadn't even set foot into Wayne Manor by that point.

Post revival, his second chance at life, he kind of fucking looses it (which is understandable. This is not a diss against Jason or his actions). It is stated that for those who read the play, recovery from madness is possible.

Hmm... Thoughts here. Who/what is The King in Yellow? Robin or Joker?

The King is a ruler.

Purple is the exact opposite of yellow, and purple usually indicates royalty. We've also got the whole Joker shit going on with royalty symbolism

Robin could be a king in that they usually lead teams... However, they would be closer to a prince than a king

The King IN Yellow

Purple is the exact opposite of yellow

Robin wears yellow

I think it would be ironic if Joker, clad in purple, was the yellow fellow. Robin, however, could be the yellow sign they somewhat talked about. Idk much about the book/story, though.

Side note. Found this wicked quote. No clue if the context is correct, but here: "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of a living God!"

Idk. Made me shiver

[kindred-spirit-93]

*succinct & eloquent opening line. maybe a clever joke or quote* :D

do you ever sit there and contemplate your life choices after like a certain experience or a talk with a loved one?

do you ever come across a quote or a piece that seems like it was written for you in this particular moment in time? an anecdote that mirrors your current situation perhaps?

well im currently going through it & after a double whammy of mama lore TM during some resurfacing anxious & assorted crises, i dont even know what im going through anymore. but we shared a really sweet heart to heart and reminisced over good and less good times aw!

i am reminded that there is still much to life, light to be sought and found, good times yet to be had. its bittersweet. its mature. its scary? its like coming to terms with your mortality but on a smaller scale. or bigger whos to say...

i wont be venting anything, i think for now at least im content to vague post lmao. also my dad bought me some stress eating treats so i might need to go wallow in my feels for a bit

after i jinxed myself by saying im going on hiatus but failing to stay off the website lol (i had moot withdrawl symptoms sue me), i wont be repeating the same mistake, but with context clues i trust u can see where im going with this

it might sound presumptious to state so confidently that this next month of my life will be the hardest in my career, especially since im not even half way there yet, but the truth of the matter is that it is.

ive been struggling for well over a year now (mostly academically) and im both succeeding in places i didnt before (alhamdulillah!) but failing in the exact same places elsewhere. guys i may have anxiety lol

self fulfilling prophecies, nocebo effect, whatever it is & regardless of what you want to call it, its rough. its hard. im tired. theres still so much left and im tired. i shouldnt be this tired. or this empty. or careless. what have i let myself become? why am i punishing myself still?

this coming month will dictate the rest of my future and ill have no one to blame but myself if i let the opportunity slip through my fingers. but if all goes well inshallah i can put this all behind me and start anew so theres that silver lining :D

i kinda lost direction of this post about half an hour ago lol. my point is im going to try harder at balancing several life aspects bc i really cant put it off any more. i need to establish balance because ive been out of the loop for too long now. *shudders in python*

anyways there are plenty of things i have to work on, both in my studies and life, so i have that going for me *party kazoo noises*

id love to grace you all with some wise words or a life lesson or something but i dont have a neat one liner to sum up anything. despite that im writing this because sometimes letting thoughts float in my head isnt enough, i need to articulate and write it out because to let them roam in the vast expanses of my mind under the pretense that i achieved something is frankly silly as it is counterproductive.

a n y w a y , to anyone and everyone reading take care of yourselves and your loved ones. i wish everyone the best in life and in their endeavours. i will probably pop back in every now and again to catch up on messages and make sure everyone is alive and nothing burned down. i will however attempt to exert self control. (key word: attempt)

aight imma head out before i get too emotional or combust with the need to say something stupid like i love you be more unserious XD

[ashipiko]

hi SO UM. IM KINDA OBSESSED WITH DECO*27 AS OF LATE AND LIAR DANCE…. HAS ME IN ITS GRASP…. FUNNY THING IS. IT WORKS REALLY WELL WITH ASHI’S OB!!! SO YEAH. here’s a whole post dedicated to her OB

(dunno if this group exists but if anyone is like?? interested in Ashi lore/deep ashace lore I hope you enjoy 🫶🫶 they’re v deep i prom)

INCLUDES: art (you can see it!!!) and a long ashace lyric breakdown to liar dance 🫶

HIGHLY RECOMMEND LISTENING TO RACHIE’S COVER OF THIS SONG WHILE READING! IT HELPS A LOT ESPEC IN THE END OF THIS BREAKDOWN

"I stole it?"

No, I don't know what you’re talking bout

You bluff away with this charade that I can't

Figure out

(“it” refers to a show, like “steal the show”. This is all from Ace’s point of view so he refuses to agree— He doesn’t like and doesn’t understand Ashi’s habit of putting up a front, hence why he dismisses it.)

My darling

You cross your heart and then you hope to

Die

So keep on lying to my face and see if I

Comply

(Ace going “OK BET keep slowly killing yourself and see if I stop trying to save you”. Spoiler, he doesn’t.)

"I stole it?

No, I don't know what you’re talking bout

You speak clichés and reap the praise of all the fools in doubt

My darling

Why can't you see that there's no fooling

Me?

Our love is much more of a mess than even you could be

(Again, same thing with the “steal the show” bit. Ace refers to everyone who falls for her front as a fool, and he insists that no matter what, he can’t be fooled. He’ll forever see Ashi for who she really is. Ace tries to convince her that all of the mess that they’re causing right now is way more of a mess than what she is.)

Blah, blah, blah, blah, do me a favor and

Shut up for now

You think you sound clever, but 'cause I

Know better, you sound just too loud

Try to escape and you'll see that you don't

Have a place left to hide

So speak of the devil, but know that you're

Summoning me to your side

(Ace wants her to shut up so that she can stop and be saved. He thinks that he’s the one with the superior mindset in this situation, and that Ashi should listen to what he’s saying, which is that no one will run away from her for who she really is.)

1,2... 1,2,3

Dance away, you li-i-iar

Your loving burns like fi-i-ire

Only you, only me, let's tear these vows to

Shreds

And let death do us pa-a-art

(Ace refers to Ashi as a liar— It’s what she sees herself as, and what Ace sees her as (a person lying to people with her front in order to please them), but Ace just believes that it’s a faulty way of living. Only you, only me, bit refers to their relationship and special connection. It can also be seen as an attempt to comfort Ashi as well, since she’s the most comfortable with Ace. Ace promises that he’ll forever stay by Ashi’s side, no matter what.)

Poison me, you li-i-iar

Our love is old and tired

So cover your nose and swallow me away

I’ll get into your veins

And then we’ll meet our end

(I interpret this line in a way that Ace persists and continues to go “I’m gonna keep knocking down your walls, no matter what” and he hopes to finally get to Ashi’s head. He does BTW! Eventually. In the future.)

"I stole it?"

No, I don't know what you’re talking 'bout

You bluff away with this charade that I can't

Figure out

It's hidden

It’s tucked away somewhere that's safe and

Sound

I hear you loud and clear, so baby, there's no

Need to shout

(Ace once again references this charade and front which Ashi uses, but the thing that’s hidden and tucked away is her true nature. There’s no hiding that from him— It’s no use to attempt to hide it.)

"You got me!

No wait, I've got no clue, what could you

Mean?

Caught you again today, again you slip away

From me

You're sinking

Digging your grave deeper and deeper down

For all your talk, I see you're nothing but a

Helpless clown

(Refers to Ashi’s slow descent into overblot! She slipped between Ace’s fingers and became distant, only to emerge as her jester, clown faced, blot. Ashi’s slow, lonely descent into madness is greatly shown through the grave line.)

Everyone and my own mother is starting to

Make fun of you

'Cause nothing about all the lies that you tell

Yourself seem to sound true

But in the end, you're the beautiful liar who's

Stolen my heart

You're just the devil, but I'm on your level

So drag me down now

(The first bit references the fact that after this is all over, everyone will know Ashi’s secret (which Ace finds a bit stupid) and that by the end of it, Ace believes that no one will really care. Everyone will accept her, and nothing will change, and that all of her doubts aren’t true. In the end, Ashi’s the one that stole Ace’s heart, and he’s willing to go through so much to save her.)

1,2... 1, 2,3

Dance with me, you li-i-ar

I'm gonna take us higher

Only you, only me, we're guilty as they come

And though our love is wro-o-ong

(Ace trying to convince Ashi that she’s not anything special— People will be empathetic towards her. He’s here with her too. The love is wrong line references the fact that Ashi thinks Ace is wrong for loving her true self.)

Now I've got you, Ii-i-ar

So look me in the ey-y-ye now

Hello, how are you?

Our punishment and crime

Will never go awa-a-ay

No, it's far too late

(Ace trying to catch Ashi’s attention and get through her blotted state. It’s too late to turn back now.)

Dance away, you li-i-iar

Your loving burns like fi-i-ire

Only you, only me, let's tear these vows to

Shreds

And let death do us pa-a-art

(Let’s change gears for these repeated lines. I’ll paint a picture for you. The way that Ashi’s overblot works is that she carries a marionette doll. The doll represents her front that she puts up, and how “that Ashi” would react to this situation. And so, through the entire fight it holds a concerned and scared expression. Ace notices this, and the scene changes.)

Poison me, you li-i-iar

Our love is old and tired

So cover your nose and swallow me away

I’ll get into your veins

Veins

(He figures it out, and everything clicks. Overblotted Ashi represents her true feelings— What she wants people to love, but everyone turns for the puppet version of her. If he’s going to save her, he has to be the most straightforward he can to get through to her blotted mind.)

Dance with me, you li-i-ar

I'm gonna take us higher

Only you, only me, we're guilty as they come

And though our love is wro-o-ong

(Ace uses all of his strength that he can muster after going at this fight for a while. to jump around Ashi as she proceeds to attack everyone around her. He moves swiftly, almost in a dancing motion— He needs to destroy the marionette. Destroying it proves the point; that he doesn’t need all of this fake stuff. He needs the real Ashi, and he’ll care for her.)

Now I've got you, Ii-i-ar

So look me in the ey-y-ye now

Hello, how are you?

Our punishment and crime

Will never go awa-a-ay

(Ace finally catches Ashi’s attention and is able to talk to her. Once again, he tries to get through her head. All of the memories and journeys they’ve been through will never fade away, and all the things that Ashi believes people will hate are things that Ace will love.)

No, it's far too late

All the things that I should hate

But the moon is in the sky

So guess

This is goodbye

(Ace is able to pry the doll from Ashi’s grasp as he gets her distracted. The goodbye is the final hit, as Ace smashes her marionette to pieces, and from there, her overblot is finished.)

NOTE: I used Rachie’s lyrics, but I know for a FACT there is a line that says “turn me inside out and I look just like you”. This line is really important too (so I’m sad it’s not included here), but I think it’s a really good one because Ace and Ashi are really similar when it comes down to it. Ashi’s so scared of showing it, but in the end Ace is there, to be by her side and be the absolute worst with her.

[madame-fear]

long rant about some feelings i had lately because i need to say it somewhere. i should post it on my sideblog but honestly i lack the will to sign out from this and log into the other account. Feel free to ignore.

Quite honestly seeing all the endearing messages you guys send me truly encourages me to keep me going, and in a way, it comforts me. But these days for some reason I’ve had some recurring grim feelings that burden me, and make me feel empty.

I have a loving family I adore, sweet mutuals and friends i also appreciate with all my life, and i’m studying a career i always wanted to study – but i feel disappointed with myself. I feel like I have no clue where to go in life, like I cant rrally achieve anything too important. I feel useless, and weak.

Everyone in my real life remarks how shy and quiet i often am, and my parents say that im a sensible soul but even if they say it in a good way i feel stupid and fragile. I feel like everyone can run past over me because they know im not capable of saying anything against it. I feel worthless, and like i constantly need to be guided to do even the slightest thing. I panic at the most minor of inconveniences because i have no idea how to react and i overly stress, and needless to say the tremors i have worsen and it just makes me feel like shit.

I never find the right time to say what i feel, nor the right situation. And even if i do and express myself in any dumb way i can find at that moment, i just get called an attention seeker and they blame me as a victim that always has everything served and is spoiled, and even if im grateful for all the things i have in my life, i just keep feeling like a heavy weight on the people surrounding me. I feel like nothing i ever do is right, i never know what to say, i feel stupid. Sincerely.

I dont care what anyone says about me, especially if its someone i dont know. But i know some friends and people in real life that made fun of me when talking about my interests, how fragile i seem at everything and reserved i am, i even heard some classmates snickering behind of me when i was explaining specifically what i studied and im tired of not having the will to stand up. I truly despise myself to the point i can barely find the right words, if there is any.

Everyday i feel like im dragging myself through life and i would muh rather keep sleeping and stay in my dreams than have to keep being understanding at stupid people, and the disrespect. Im always embarrassed of expressing how i feel but its even more heavy to carry all my self-worth issues without being able to freely talk about it. You guys have no idea how many fucking times i had the impulse of jumping in front of a car, throwing myself out of the balcony, hanging myself and end myself because i cant STAND not knowing how to guide my life, where to go, and feeling insecure and i dont say this to be dramatic. i cant do anything by myself.

If it werent because even if i sometimes fight with them i know i have a family that cares for me and sweet friends, i wouldnt be here in some time. I feel like an attention whore and a victim but i hate having to keep it all for myself and know no one will do anything, or think im satisfied with how i am. My parents tell me i should be proud of who i am and all the things i earned by myself, but truth is, i wish i werent so fucking useless. I can never remember anything properly, and im too anxious most of the time. I despise myself and i really hope this feeling washes away soon, because i cant tolerate not managing to do anything because i would much rather lay in bed and do nothing due to my own insecurities.

[avidaraku]

Hi!!!! ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

welcome to my pinned post I honestly still dont know what to do with my blog like ever but still :) nice stuff. This blog contains whatever the fuck I reblog, including fandom and 18+ stuff - I do not tag my porn reblogs so if you're following me for fandom things, this is an all in one blog bc i do what i want <3 you are warned! leave if you dislike my beloved freak blog

|･ω･)

just be nice and kind babygirls, that's all i ask of <3 human decency lets go!!!! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

my ao3 account is https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daimashiko :) I like writing porn, my brain is constantly on khr mode :) I also never have any consistent name for my accounts, so thats also why my names are different. Hi to any discord friends who know me from well, discord <3 im sure u guys are familiar with my socials in this case

TAGS. ─=≡Σ((( つ＞＜)つ ／(＞×＜)＼

#my art (very self explanatory I am not a creative person with names?? sorryyyyy - i also considered making my art tag into artvidaraku but like. thats too much effort jklsjgkldKJDF:SJ:JKL:JK:LDG ;;)

#khr (that is my main fandom ofc <333 - overlaps with my art but also other people's khr stuff so haha... its a mess but oh well)

#poll (i like answering them! or just reblogging polls i wanted to volunteer in but its too late </3)

#lotta tags (i tend to comment a lot in tags but these are the ones where i usually write like. a lot of commentary to the point im like ohhhh i should tag this right? curious if anyone's ever went through them but also i've never talked abt these things so. oopsssss <3 - lot of it is kinda sad / depressing but usually i am pretty reflective. kinda?)

#animals (self explanatory. i love me some fucking creatures. respect nature babygirls i adore them fellas <3)

#tumblr classic (i love getting to see the classics / things i'd personally consider a classic on my feed)

#fandom (this one's pretty commonly used! yadda yadda, talks abt fanfic and stuff / sometimes i get disappointed with fandom but that's not new lol)

#fashion (i don't use this as much as I should be?? but if you want to check out what i think is fun / a vibe <3)

#avidarecs (****i literally just made this on impulse so there's not much rn but i want to share more of my recs for things in general! fandom / songs / whatever other thing comes to mind?***// will probably be rarely used? but you never know~)

there might be more tags I haven't included but from the top of my head this is it?? Might add more, i have no clue. But anyways back to my other interests and what I'm into!

media i like: khr (its number one bc i am unable to pry reborn's hands on my stupid silly little soul so i cannot escape even if i wanted to), slay the princess + scarlet hollow (games made by the same studio. i love the art and vibes sooo much and also the fanart is sooo beautiful), Jenna Marbles (i've been obsessed w her stuff recently and I hope she's having a good time w her dogs and Julien :), kpop (honestly its only just loona bc im tired and feel old as fuck despite only being in my 20s so i am not gonna get into another thing lol), and sanrio!!! i love my melody she's a cutie patootie <3

-probably more stuff I like but this post would be a lot longer

I'm certain its obvious but I am a proshipper (also i am always in rarepair hell girl HELP. but also i will chain myself to that random mix of characters without prompting. ah....), if you don't like proshippers, leave my page and block me <3

But anyways my fav tropes (i definitely have more i just cant think of them but in general im chill with lots of stuff!)

incest (i am so fr when i say somehow i always revolve around incest ships they're just soooo good. my brain is absolutely destroyed in favor of tasty fucking food. shout out to incest shippers you guys rock luv yall :3)

age gap / size difference (these tropes are lovers and they're already fucking each other within one yard of each other. good fucking food yk?)

any toxic/problematic food (necro + lolisho rights!!!) in general. i am just. yeahhhhhhhhhhh MMMM LOAD THAT SHIT UP. i also have very little memory but still whatever

genderbend - i know it's a dwindling trope in popularity but there is nothing better than mindlessly turning a guy chara into a girl like wow..... so hot.... <3 this has also been a long time trope i've adored and i'll probably never stop using it bc its just that good for me <3 mmm. girls. cute.

monsterfucker stuff is great! (does this include animal hybrids? im going to include it with that soooo)

i think this is enough, but also before you go explore whatever maze my blog is in bc i cant be bothered enough by my blog, i will also reblog things in tandem to politics / real world things (I support Palestine <3). Am American. Am Mess. But I hope the world is kinder even just a little bit more. This world is cruel, but I hope we can continue to offer each other support and love, even when times are harrowing as always.

(っ ᵔ◡ᵔ)っ have a hug/kiss!!!! (i like gifs hehe)

[angstics]

Thought about a line that i am certain every single grantaire x enjolras fic writer has thought of. And yet i will include it. Because it bangs. It even connects back to valjean’s “i am a man, no worse than any man” and javert’s YOU WILL STILL ANSWER TO JAVERT (THE LAW, GOD!!!!). the self-symbolism vs self-humanizing, all that buttery literal and meta goodness 🤌🤌🤌

heres what ive been thinking of. i want to write a post-canon, canon divergence fic (mostly based on the musical because ive only read a little of the book so far) with NO historical accuracy, i just want to put these two guys in a situation. ok so the au is, what if enjolras and grantaire are the only ones to survive the barricade massacre and theyre sentenced several years hard labor for treason. this is almost nonexistent on ao3 but maybe it’s somewhere on livejournal or wattpad or ff.net or something. so far it’s my personal little idea. in my head, it is so disrespectful of the victims of labor camps and prisons. im interested in the aesthetics of physical labor, the romanticization of the male form… the sweat and tire and exertion and torture… the total breakdown of a self when being used as a machine. putting such Stark Symbols in this setting is so FASCINATING to me. it forces e and g out of their heads into their bodies — that loss of autonomy itself a violation. i want to see them fight to be human beings rather than fighting to be symbols. i feel the barricade is marked by a freedom that allows them to be larger than life… they dont have that freedom here. their fight now is to be men, rather than machines. i want to know how that feels. I want to know how it feels to once be a symbol, i want to know what identity they have without it. I want to know how they chase after these past identities. And i want to know who they are when isolated together, the only people who know who the other is because they are the only people who knew the before. I have a faint idea who enjolras is now, but i have no clue who grantaire is. i wonder if they each get a taste of the other’s medicine — enjolras given up, grantaire enflamed. or if surviving fuelled their previous stances. if being beaten by the system firsthand changes things… is there hope, is there a future?

the romantic relationship kinda goes back to the romanticization of pain lol. i dont know if either of these men ever allowed themselves to be happy. living day by day as people, trying to survive, i think creates an intense need for release. i think the environment also necessitates allyship and company more than ever. i havent thought about this part much, at least compared to the thematic meaning and possibilities. BUT i did think about a hyperdramatic romantic moment this morning while thinking about The Themes. this is what i was talking about with every fic probably having something like this (wouldnt know, havent read any). the moment goes something like:

Enjolras had been picked muscle by muscle, tendon to joint. He had never felt such weariness. “A man on his own can’t be a revolution.”

Grantaire knew that was not true. You were mine.

the people too must rise. in her kiss i taste the revolution. 🙌

[chococookiez]

I FUCKING MISSED 4/13 I COMPLETELY FORGOR BUT IM POSTING ANYWAY

i was holding off on posting it until i had more content but i did a fantroll :]

some other art/shitposts i did with it (+ my other ocs)

and here's bonus ooc shitty doodles i did for my dying tiktok account

i haven't properly drawn anyone other than aradia and sollux (and eridan partially but i've only done march eridans for some reason) and the one with all of them was . the first time i drew any of them other than eridan please forgive me

words under the cut. i must ramble

so . homestuck huh

how did i spend my first 4/13 you ask? got up at 5am to fuck around with my (slightly drunk) friend on vrc until we got tired, had various revelations, a whole crisis that i do not wish to unpack... im forgetting something

oh yea

dumb of ass moment: i played that one fucking solkat vn literally just for the hell of it

I haven't read the comic yet BECAUSE im planning to binge read the entire fucking thing over the summer with my friends and i am fucking HYPED i have the unofficial collection downloaded on my pc already in preparation and we're planning on doing a massive party once we're done we are going to have a fucking ball with this . technically i've only been properly interested in homestuck since february which i find really funny cause my brain made the switch so fast it gave me fucking whiplash. i've literally never had an interest hit me THIS HARD in my life especially with how little canon content i have to work with currently since im saving it all for the summer (the restraint is so hard y'all have no idea)

highlights of shit i've done to do with homestuck other than art so far:

made 2 extended zodiac pins out of pre-existing pins i had, one for myself and one for my irl friend

said irl friend had to suffer through a 2+ hour long infodump where i just showed them all the main characters i had knowledge about (beta/alpha kids/trolls, ancestors and cherubs), did a hussie and had The Quadrant Ramble™, shittily explained classes and aspects and tried my best to explain The Weird Time Bullshit™ (it was very fun for me . he also said it was fun but i have my doubts)

speaking of quadrants i've made 4 quadrant keychains (erisol spade, cronkri heart, meowrails + kurtuna diamonds) (currently only displaying 3 of them since the meowrails one fucking SELF DESTRUCTED as in the paint fucking peeled itself off and ive been too lazy to remake it rn) and i've been slightly tempted to add a solkat one but i have no clue what quad i'd put them in tbh and that's the only thing stopping me (oh and a meuloz heart . just because)

very very vaguely hinted at this once before but i made a shitty character playlist. not linking it or saying who it is. y'all can just guess

i made... an eridan osu skin. out of one i had already that i liked. and i've been tempted to make a sollux one. did you know im mentally ill (something did spark this: i had a map of eridan's theme that had a skin on it, so decided to make a full one out of it to fuck with my friend who likes him)

im planning on cosplaying A Troll but have no sodding clue which one. my internal options rn are kanaya, vantases (have their outfits/something like them on hand already, plus vantases have easy horns), leijons (associate myself with them a lot (one of my favourite vrc avatars to use rn is a meulin edit even), especially considering im a leo myself), eridan, aradia and feferi (they'd be hilariously fitting for reasons i wish to not explain, especially eridan)

am probably gonna land myself with a pile of homestuck merch, either from birthday gifts or my own stupidity

so yea, just a few words. i couldn't fight the homestuck

[titanomakhea]

the concept of belos as a wild wizard is just so top tier to me and im so glad im just going with what i started with and being like ... everything is just slightly to the left of canon ...

belos post-finale / post-respawn ... living in the woods and yeah ok he has The Big Primordial Power but it's like ... too much to be easily yeet, not enough to be able to withstand everything he was able to take before??? but

per his abilities remaining as "titan iapetos" (which in fact is a different ass titan from luz's titan), he does have the ability to command the isles and shape areas to his liking, hence how he's been living in the forest in the first place? he creates his own shelter and he can make it so that he Isn't Found and even if you do find him, he's got like 50 alchemic traps to keep people away because he's just tired and sad and sorting through a lot of things

he doesn't leave the forest because he doesn't really have any clue how to face anyone now that things are over. he also is learning to control the primordial power basically on his own with no guidance, because he sure isn't getting any help from any titan now- "buddy you made your bed, sleep in it" vibes

he has remnant scars from where luz tricked him and put the coven brand on him, and while the brand doesn't do anything (because it's really just scar tissue), it's still like that constant reminder. not to mention all the other scars he has- his other constant reminders of how he massively fucked all of this shit up.

he managed to travel to the now supremely wrecked site where the house he built for his family once was. he took from what was left the "memory chest" that has arete's wedding dress, some of meesha's journals, and zanera's favorite toys- and an unused bit of palistrom wood (arete, meesha, and zanera had all been able to carve palismen- belos had that bit of palistrom wood but never used it because he was sorta too busy playing fuck around and find out with primordial beings...). he guards that with his life in the same manner a dragon guards treasure.

he considered rebuilding the house since it had been built sorta on the outskirts of everything as it was, but never really got to it. that, and it's a lot of painful memories only for the sake that he knows he's not the person who originally came to the isles with his family and so he feels that he can't start rebuilding that home until he works through the next 400 years of absolute bullshit.

mind you, he also isn't expecting and quite frankly isn't interested in other people forgiving him and he certainly doesn't want pity- belos is stubborn, he was stubborn from the start, and if anyone is going to solve his problems, it's going to be himself. it just so happens that inevitably he probably will run into other people and then he'll have to deal with that.

truly, bro you made your bed, sleep in it.

[kitsune-bones]

1) nonhuman (physical maybe?) and fictionhearted!

2) kitsune nonhuman, hearttype is lynette (genshin)

3) tricky question. I'm always shifted which is something like suntherian i think? Though my form differs/changes, i'm always in fox mode. I always have a phantom tail, usually have ears, claws and teeth, slightly less commonly have hind paws and/or fox eyes, and i'd say maybe roughly half the time i'm just an anthro fox (not quite furry, just a lil guy on my hind legs if that makes sense). Occasionally i'm full feral, but usually when i'm tired.

4) am fox, but fairly good at pretending to be human!

5) hmm, my side of the community is rather chill. I get neat info posts and pictured of wolves on my dash mostly. The tiktok side annoys me a lil bc it's misinfo central ime, but generally idc what they're doing over there lol

6) long nails are claws that go clik clak! Filed into neat points and painted black and it's perfect. Gear sometimes helps, and i like drinking tea for all the alterhuman reasons (for those who don't know, lynette drinks a lot of tea). Also cosplay maybe, haven't gotten my stuff yet but i'm excited to. Oh and, i like doing magic tricks! Very beginner but it's so much fun.

7) ye. Not too bad but ye.

8) have fun with it, do an ungodly amount of research (or a godly amount, depending on who/what you are lol), and never stop learning and exploring. Yourself, the community, all of that. And don't rush - ik it's frustrating to not know who you are right away, but you have your whole life to figure it out. Just keep poking around and something will fit - even if that something is a term you made up yourself. Oh, and if that changes later down the line, that's okay too.

9) I have gear! A tail and ears. One day i'll have an actual fursuit probably, but i wouldn't really consider that gear.

10) no clue. Still workin on that. Best i figure is that there's something i gotta do that's easier as a human, but... not sure. For all i know it's just 'live a happy life' ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11) i'm no snitch >:( (I don't have anyone to tag bc i'm braindead and don't remember who i can tag so,, if my rb shows up on your blog pretend i tagged you k thanks love ya bye)

If you are a alterhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

[loveriotss]

Hi hi!! Could you possibly do headcanons + texts with All might as your boyfriend? I love your work and the text messages along with it are so cute!! Would love one of all might 🫶

HCS + TXTS WITH HIM AS YOUR BOYFRIEND ⸻ toshinori yagi

INCLUDES — gn! reader, fluff, crack, headcannons, social media au

main masterlist — mha masterlist ༊*·˚

: ̗̀➛ click here to read other character versions

big boomer who is surprised???

will send you daily selfies of himself at school, even an outfit check because he's silly like that.

is not that much of a fast replier, he tries to when he can but most of the time he's busy with teaching/bit of hero work.

he prefers to keep his and your relationship private from the public to avoid you getting targeted by the media or any villains.

only a few people such as his colleagues and eventually his students know about you.

sometimes his texts have many spelling errors when he's trying to type fast in his muscle form since his fingers are too big for the tiny ass screen.

very fast typer in his non-muscle form though.

before he revealed his non-muscle form to the world, he used to take you out on dates freely.

after the reveal you two have to be more secretive, it gets a bit tiring at times but you two enjoy feeling like teenagers sneaking around again.

has no clue about brainrot or internet references at his big age. you on the other hand have a bit of knowledge and makes sure he doesn't yell out wrong things in public.

he has two social media accounts, one public for fan interactions and such and the private one for his close friends.

it is also the account where he posts you since no public eye can see you there.

NOTE — im posting this so embarassingly late, im so sorry 😭😭. i've just been so busy but anyway starting of a weekend so i'm gonna try and hurry up to finish all these requests!!

©loveriotss — all rights reserved to me. please don’t try to copy/steal my work. please do not use any of my ideas/translate my work without my permission.

[beomiracles]

i saw ur mlt with jealous txt and i just NEED you to make a suggestive (possibly nsfw 🤔) oneshot with gyus im going CRAZYYY

「 LIAR, LIAR 」

DREAM RECALL your boyfriend wasn't very fond of liars, and he made no exceptions, not even his girlfriend.

wc -> 2k

pairings yandere toxic!beomgyu x afab!reader warnings yandere elements, toxic bf!beomgyu, implied abuse, emotional maniupulation, heavy dub-con, vaginal fingering, unprotected sex, creampie + breeding, baby trapping, a splash of darcyphillia me thinks, orgasm denial. let me know if I missed anything!

please please read the warnings carefully !!

#serene adds ✎... I have absolutely no clue of how he became so...vile in this. I blame my period cramps. I know that this probably doesn't align too well with the mtl BUT I hope it can still please some of you ! :3 this is not very proofread, my cramps are killing me.

The door to your quiet apartment softly closes behind you. Kicking your shoes off, you peel your coat from your body before tiptoeing into your dark flat. It was well past midnight and you didn’t want to wake your sleeping boyfriend, or at least you thought he was. — Gently pushing the door to your shared bedroom open, you freeze in your tracks as Beomgyu’s figure floats into vision. 

He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands placed on his lap, and if it weren’t for the bright light of his phone screen, grasped tightly between his fingers, you wouldn't have been able to read the distant look on his face. Swallowing a small gulp, you prepare yourself for the conversation that was bound to take place. 

“Beomgyu? Why are you still up?” You barely whisper the words, but his head immediately jerks in your direction. “Where have you been?” His voice is monotone but you can clearly hear the slight tremble to it as he readjusts his grip on the phone in his hands. Setting your purse down on the drawer, you awkwardly clear your throat, “I already told you, I was…” 

“You lied.” 

You blink, stunned as you shake your head. “No I-” — “Who’s this?” He holds the phone up and you squint as you take a few hesitant steps forward. Your eyes land on the story one of your friends had posted merely an hour ago. A picture of you, a drink in your hand as you chatted with a mutual friend. A mutual guy friend, yes, but he was a decent guy. It wasn’t good enough of an answer for Beomgyu, you knew that. 

“You told me that it would be just you and your girl friends.” He spits as he shoves his phone in his pocket, the room becoming enveloped in darkness once more. “Well I didn’t know he was coming, he joined in later..” You stammer as you watch Beomgyu get up from the bed, rubbing his hand along his neck as he studies your figure in the dim room. — “Where were you?” He takes a step forward. 

“At that bar downtown, just like I said.” You firmly state as you fold your arms across your chest. He shakes his head, “no you weren’t.” — Your frown deepens, what was he getting at? “We went to another one later, does that matter?” You scoff as you run a hand through your hair. “It does. You should’ve told me, I need to know things like that.” — “Why?” Honestly you were growing tired of his antics, it was exhausting to keep him informed about your whereabouts. You didn’t even get to enjoy a night out with your friends without being dialed down by your partner. 

Beomgyu almost seems baffled at you questioning him. “Because I am your boyfriend”, he takes another two steps forward, his hand reaching out to grab your forearm, you wince. Sometimes he was really unaware of the force he used. — “You shouldn’t be hanging out with other guys when you’re together with me.” 

“Well it wasn’t like it was only the two of us, and besides-” — “That doesn’t matter. I thought I told you to stay away from guys, you never know what they’re capable of.” He seethes, his grip on your arm only intensifying as his hands tremble. “But you never listen to me”, his voice becomes almost high-pitched as he swallows a gulp. You try to wriggle yourself free from his increasingly harsh grasp, “Beomgyu you’re hurting me.” — But he doesn’t listen, too caught up in the apparent dangers of your situation. 

“It’s not that hard to pick up your fucking phone and call me back.” He grits as he tugs you closer. Blindly stumbling forward in the darkness, your hands reach for his chest as you try and maintain your balance. “It died”, you mumble, gaze dropping to the floor as you follow the outline of your bodies, pressed together. He scoffs, “what a shit excuse.” 

As if on cue, your very much not dead phone, vibrates in your pocket. The silence that follows rings like knives in your ears. Your heart threatens to beat out of your chest and you bite back a small sob. “Your excuse just became even more useless”, he drawls, his voice eerily calm. But before you know it, he’s got you pinned down against the bed, knees sinking into the mattress on either side of you as his hands slam down next to your face. 

“Lying seems to be the only thing you know how to do.” He mutters as one of his fingers trails across your cheek, down to your lips, pulling the plump flesh down before letting it go again. His finger moves past your chin, down your throat, skimming over your collarbone, between the valley of your breasts and over your stomach before reaching the hem of your tight leather skirt. He eyes the clothing with disdain, “you dress like whore, and you act like it behind my back.” 

You shake your head, the first droplets of tears falling from your eyes, silently rolling down your rosy cheeks, leaving a dent in your perfect layer of makeup. Beomgyu pays your objection little mind, his hands tugging the tight garment down your thighs as he mutters to himself. “I’ll make you remember — remember who you belong to.” 

He yanks your panties off, making you squeal as his cold hand brushes against your cunt; long fingers working to get you as wet as possible, as quickly as possible. His gaze flickers to your teary expression and he sighs, “you know that I only want what’s best for you.” When all he receives is a small sob he groans in frustration, upping his pace as his thumb harshly flicks over your clit with enough pressure to make you writher under him. 

You knew that Beomgyu had some kind of boundary issues. He often overstepped and interfered in your relationships with both family and friends. At first you had thought that he was just a little overprotective, like most guys. And in the beginning it was kind of cute, seeing him get all flustered and worked up when you’d been approached by a cute waiter on your date. But as time went on you soon realized that his need to protect you ran far deeper. — If Beomgyu had it his way, you would be isolated from just about everyone, only being allowed supervised visits from close family. 

Your back arches off the soft mattress as he pushes a finger inside of you, immediately curling it to hit every single nerve, making you moan under him as your sobs gradually morphed into noises of pleasure. “See? I always make you feel so good”, he murmurs, his attention fixed on the way you squeezed around his hand, drenching him in a sheer layer of your arousal. “I…I don’t understand why you act like I don’t”, he sounds conflicted, his pace momentarily slowing down as his brows draw together. 

Beomgyu wasn’t very smart, you knew that. He was always the last to get the joke, and none of the ones he made seemed to reach anyone else. But he wasn’t just stupid, he was emotionally disconnected. It was almost as if he struggled to understand why people felt certain emotions, and why everyone felt differently. Why couldn’t everyone just be like him? 

Quickly shaking his head, his fingers withdraw from your core as he struggles to get the zipper of his jeans open. Given a small moment to catch your breath, you stare up at the ceiling as you draw in a shaky sigh. The feel of his cock prodding against you makes you squirm and his hand pushes down against your waist to keep you in place. He groans as he slowly pushes himself inside, letting his head drop to the crook of your neck once he’s fully sheathed. 

“Maybe I should install a tracker on your phone..” He hums as he sets a gentle pace, his thrusts calculated and deliberate. The small statement makes your eyes widen as another small sob rips from your throat. “Why?” You croak out, your voice is strained and laced with the aftermath of your previous tears. He chuckles against your skin, a small smirk spreading across his lips as he drags them along the juncture of your neck. “So you won’t have to worry about texting me back. And I won’t worry about where you are.” 

In his ears, the suggestion made perfect sense. Unable to see how twisted it actually was, Beomgyu’s heart swells at the thought of always knowing where you are. His large hand cups your wet cheek, “it’s for your own good”, he coos, “I only want what’s best for you.” — When all you do is continuously sob in his arms, his patience suddenly wears thin. His once tender expression turns into a small scowl as his hips snap against yours with so much force that you almost choke on your tears. 

“Why are you still crying? You’re the one who lied.” Your lack of response makes him grow anxious and his hands grasp your skin tightly, his grip was bound to leave red marks that would soon bloom into hues of purples and blues, just like the others had. “Stop fucking crying”, he grunts, his cock twitching inside of you as you clench around him. — “I… I can’t” you sob as one of your hands wipes your tears. 

“Why? Don’t you want me to know where you are? Are you keeping something from me? Is that why?” He fires question after question, withdrawing himself to where only his tip remains before he slams back inside of you, pulling a string of incoherent whines and moans from your lips. His hand envelops your chin, locking your head in place as he leans down to press his mouth against yours. “I’ll make you have my baby. Then you’ll have to stay here with me, then I’ll always know where you are.” 

Your eyes shoot open as you register his words and you feebly shake your head. It only seems to spur him on further, hips snapping against you as his fingers dig into your cheeks. “I’ll give you my baby and you’ll take it.” He hisses, his arm wrapping around you and he pulls you closer, your bodies pressed against each other as he quiets your sobs with a kiss. 

You’re unable to stop him from releasing inside of you, a small groan leaving his lips as he continues to fuck his cum back into you. Despite your devastated state, you still longed for your own high as one of your hands reached down between your bodies, only to be stopped by Beomgyu’s long fingers around your wrist. “Liars, don’t get to cum.” 

He flips you over, pulling you to rest against his chest, his now soft cock still buried deep inside of you, making you squirm in discomfort. With a hand on your hip, he stills your movement, “careful, think about the baby.” His words made you want to cry all over again.

You had considered breaking up with Beomgyu many times, and you had been close to doing so, many times. But something always seemed to hold you back. His pouty lips, his big sad eyes, the way his brows drew together in a confused frown, you found it hard to break such news to him. You knew that he would suffer greatly if you ever broke up, part of you thinks he deserves it, but a bigger part of you felt an immense guilt. 

You thought that maybe today, after everything he had done today, you would finally be able to put an end to it, to stand up for yourself. But when you peer up at him in the darkness of your bedroom, watching his anxious gaze as he pulls you close, as if afraid that you would disappear at any given moment; you knew that you would never be able to utter those words out loud.

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[pertemis-lover]

hi guys. so i joined tumblr like... a bit over a year ago? iw anna say liek 18 months? honestly i just joined for the textposts and other assorted fandom stuff but i wasnt a rly big fan of the site so i didn't really use it much untill around july 2023. at the time i was going through some shit with a friend who means/meant the absolute world to me and at that point she'd been ghosting me for like 8 months on and off, since nov 2022 and i used to browse this app for vent posts/mental health shit. i remeber when I started cutting. it was the 22nd of october 2023. i was having a really shitty day and i couldn't get her off my mind and my dad was yelling at me because i was too tired to go down and get my meal and i just. did it. since then i've done it way more times than i'd like to count. sure, not as bad as some of the other users on this site but way more thna i'm comfortable with doing. at the start it was just a coping mechanism but it went wrong one day. i grabbed some ice and i did it and that day just happened to be a bit too deep and now the marks are never gonna leave, like she warned me would happen. i cut one last time after that, before realising that they were permanent, and i've been clean since. currently im 26 days clean which is the longest time i've been clean. im hoping it lasts for good this time. the whole point i'm writing all this is because i've just realised something. i think i'm at risk of developing an ed. i've had problems with eating for like the last 4+ months, but i thought that was mostly just due to depression/being tired/not physically having enough energy to eat. earlier i used to eat 3 meals every day, maybe 2 if I was having a bad day. recently i've realised im going as low as one meal sometimes, skipping food in the morning, not having anything in school, having luncha round 8 and skipping dinner. and i'm not a very mentally stable person as a whole but my sh messed me up so badly and i really dotn wanna develop a fully fledged ED on top of all that because i have no clue how i'll deal with that without killing myself. i've uninstalled tumblr from my phone, i'm typing this on my laptop. i'm not gonna delete my account, but i don't think i'm going to be on this site anymore since its too much of a risk to be on edblr or shblr and honestly, that's like 50+% of the blogs i follow. to all my mutuals and people i've interacted with here i wish you the best with life and hopefully with recovery. i love every single one of you guys, even if i've never shared a single word with some of y'all. peace out, goodnight, take care fellas.

[noemilivv]

okay i know i said i was going to sleep but my possibly pink eyed-eye is bugging me so much to the point where i just can’t so i’m gonna do this cause this has been rattling my brain and i’m very eager to know haha

although, yes, i match YOU guys up with hazbin characters, but i can’t help but wonder… who would YOU guys pair ME with? 👀

this is in an experiment and i’m dying to know so i hope to fucking god this post doesn’t flop haha

also take this as a meet the guy behind the blog kinda deal lol, a more in-depth ‘about me’ if you will

anywho, yeah i’ll describe myself and shit haha, you guys already know my name, i’m mio! i use she/he pronouns and to be honest i’m not too sure what my gender is, kinda flip flopping around with labels atm, but as of late i’m not too into labeling my gender haha, i’m closeted at the moment and usually flip flop my gender expression between very feminine and masculine appearances depending on who’s around, i’m bisexual, i have a preference in gender but have no fucking clue what it is yet haha

as for personality, most irl people ik would describe me as a total black cat, im lowkey a bit grouchy and tired and i have a tendency to bitch haha but my blog kinda takes that side of me and chucks it out the window haha

most describe me as mature for my age, some say i have a wide vocabulary but im not sure lol. im not a massive judge of character, especially my own, but i do know i am extremely empathetic. i wanna be a psychologist when im older so feelings are kinda-sorta my jam lol.

in relationships, i have a tendency to communicate a lot of how i feel, just cause i can’t stfu and i feel it’s the respectful thing to do. like i wish i could be one of those cool, hot mystery people but i cannot for the life of me stop talking so…

also!! as much as i’m a massive black cat around most, the moment i have a partner that kinda flips, i’m all over the place. i’m a massive golden retriever/sunshine kinda girl the moment i have a partner.

my love languages are words of affirmations and physical touch (receiving), as for me, actions are so hard to decipher i end up needing to just hear it — also i’m big on praise lol so i just need to hear that you’re not mad and i’m doing everything just fine haha

appearance though, i’m on the shorter side (4’9 or 4’10, unsure as of late haha), i have circular glasses with thin, black frames that are almost always surviving by mere glasses tape (they get broken a lot from sports lol), i have slightly tan skin, and black hair with brown/caramel highlights that goes to about my chest, and it usually gets tied up and pulled into a hood when i’m presenting masc haha, i have brown eyes, and i’m very flat XD not even slightly curvy lol

my style though is so basic 😭😭 when presenting fem, it’s like one of those popular middle school girls it’s not even funny, like the uggs with the nike socks over the leggings and a nike sweatshirt or some shit (i know im boring, shush) but when presenting masc i tend to be in a hoodie (with the hood up) with shorts that go to above the knee or just plaid pajama bottoms with like converse or air forces, but every once in awhile i’ve dress a bit alt like with ripped jeans and fishnets w/ doc martins and a band tee — but rarely haha cuz im too lazy

anywho, that’s me!! i’m very interested to see the pairings for this :)