#no bc it’s such a bad situation for both of them
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God my friends are so cool. we've been planning an out of country trip to the beach for over a year now and the week before we left my knee started killing me and it turns out it's tendinitis
I wanted to scream and cry and cancel everything but my friends told me "literally just come and move less than we originally planned, it's so okay"
they have carried my things for me when I needed to use both my crutches, helped me around the beach when using crutches was unfeasible bc of sand, traded beds with me bc my mattress sucked ass, left me the fuck alone when I said I needed a moment to cry in pain by myself and hugged me afterwards when I asked for it
and I wanna let yall know that I helped them back. I watch out for my friend to take her meds, for another's food sensitivity issues, for another's RSD that tends to get really bad in group situation when they feel left out
this isn't an exchange, friends just help each other out. if I wasn't doing anything for them, they would've still helped me with my mobility. and if they weren't helping me with my mobility, I would still help them as well
I dunno , rant post
#div rant#div rants#why do i have two#chronically ill#chronic pain#chronic illness#crutch user#disabled joy
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Violently shitting myself on the first date is DIABOLICAL WORK MIMI jskdjdkdhkdndjdd
Okay situation setup first, mutual friends set me and Ichigo up on a blind date. We are both a little slow to warm up to one another and get comfortable, but once we do, everything is lovely <3.
This is actually my second time eating out today. The first time was with one of the friends that set us up for the date as a little debrief about the guy I’m meeting. Went to a new restaurant for the first time then, and hours later on the date it is clearly affecting me.
Ichigo has heard my stomach grumbling too throughout our date which has me a little bashful, but he’s been so nice about it fr. I told him it might have been something I ate, so he’s understanding. But at some point the urge to go just hits me and I rush a “I’llberightback” before making a b-line for the bathroom.
Unfortunately for me the terlet does not feel the wrath of my guts. I don’t make it in time and now I am trapped in this conundrum.
I spend the next few moments standing in shock, mortified. Thank GOD no one else has walked into the bathroom. I am freaking out. WHAT IN THE WORLD DO I DO IN THIS SITUATION???
My first thought was to call either of the friends that set us up. Unfortunately neither answer.
So I am forced to face THEE most embarrassing ordeal ever bc I cannot stay shitty pantsed lest I get a rash.
1. Do you tell your fave and do you go back to the table?
Yes, and yes AUGH. But I am telling the staff before I do either so I can 1) escape the moment for a little longer and 2) warn them so they can clean any remnants of my biohazard nskdjxkd. Shortly after I am making my walk of shame back to the table, not sitting down on the chair as I meet him again.
2. What do you say if you do tell them? How does that conversation go?
I’ll start with an awkward ‘hey’. He’ll greet me back, and then i tell him I’ve really been enjoying his company but I have to cut the date short. I hope we can meet again, but I understand if he doesn’t want to after this. (screaming internally because HOW COULD I FUMBLE THE BAG WITH A GUY SO HOT AND NICE 😭😭😭). And then I tell him “I just shit my pants. Like really bad… I need to go home and shower. I’m so sorry.”
He looks at me genuinely shocked and his eyes flick down to my pants before quickly going back up to my face, his own turning a little red. I don’t know if it’s out of disgust or if he’s trying to be respectful, but a girl can hope for the ladder 😔😔😔. Nothing comes out of him but a breathless “Oh…”
Seconds of us blinking at each other later, he shakes his head a little and stands up, before asking me if I’m okay. I tell him I’m fine, just majorly embarrassed. He quickly arranged to pay for all of our food, probably on account of feeling bad for me HELP. And we end up outside.
I feel my eyes watering, but I’m trying to hold the tears at bay.
3. Does your fave help you if you do tell them? If you ghost, do they ask why?
When we’re outside, he offers me his jacket to sit on so I don’t get shit in my car. And while that is so nice I am again SO MORTIFIED bc I can’t POSSIBLY accept that HELP. He won’t take no for an answer though. Insists the jacket is old anyway. Says he doesn’t want me suffering more than I have to. It’s kind he’s considering me so but I still feel horrible. I don’t even know whether to ask if he wants it back bc honestly I know my ass would just burn it if it were mine.
I ask any way though, and make sure he knows I will be cleaning the FUCK outta that thang but in nicer words of course. He takes a minute to think about it, seeming quite hesitant, but ultimately says yes. Again, I believe out of pity for me so I don’t feel more embarrassed. Gives me his number so we can arrange for that return sometime, walks me to my car bc it’s late and safety mmmm. then we go our separate ways.
4. Do you get a second date?
Some power or other must have smiled upon me for my honesty and bravery bc YES! 😭
Surprisingly I do! 🧎🏾♀️
I found out bc one of the mutual friends who found out about the fiasco gave me a sticker about 2 weeks later. It was a funny/cutesy drawing of a bunny sitting on a toilet with the words “IBS = I be shittin” on it.
Once it’s in my hand my soul leaves my body bc ik what she’s referring to and I want to DIE thinking about it. And she’s like, “I hear he’s been thinking about you.”
Of course for obvious reasons I assume she means he’s been thinking about that experience and probably not so positively of me.
But then she says he’s been wanting to arrange another date, but has been shy. She elbows me and tells me I need to return that jacket of his sometime~.
💀 <- *me after she said that with bell tolling sound*
As a matter of fact Mimi, “she” could honestly be u fr NDKDJDKDJDKC
cw gross but here’s the scenario:
you’re on a first date with your fave, it’s perfect, but suddenly your tummy starts to rumble. you barely make it to the bathroom. you shit yourself.
questions:
1. do you tell your fave and do you go back to the table?
2. what do you say if you do tell them? how does that conversation go?
3. does your fave help you if you do tell them? if you ghost, do they ask why?
4. do you get a second date?
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in a mood (ID in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#doing straight up nothing with the bestie. really good activity of doing nothing#i mainly drew this just so i can test how itd be not drawing their faces bc i Love drawing their faces a little too much.#maybe ill throw them in a more intense situation next time i try it bc it just ended up focusing on wolfwood and his silly newspaper#he's reading the news... cruel happenings all around no mans land... have to keep up to know where to go next and where to avoid#but theres also some guy in the same room being distracting as hell. i think they can coexist without bothering each other but theyd#be so painfully aware of the other person... both of them usually have tended to their own space after all for years. ww especially i think#would be easily distracted with vash's presence bc he's spent 2 years thinking about him already (for his mission...)#and thinking about vash is a Little easier than dealing with his personal anguish#though it can definitely overlap too. and sometimes its not that bad. sometimes its just vash's hand feeling unexpectedly nice and gentle#ruporas art
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So we know that Wei Wuxian's treatment after his death was horrible. Even if nothing could impact him directly, there was still neverending slander, hatred, misinformation, theft...
But, for a while after he died, the sects did try to impact him directly – namely, frequently trying to resummon his soul. And today I'll explore the possible reasons for this, their likelihoods, and why I'm so, so thankful that Wei Wuxian's soul managed to resist the summons. Because, spoiler alert (or, you know. maybe not)... none of them are good.
(Long meta ahead)
In my opinion, there are four likely motivations for this: confinement, coercion, torment, and potentially destruction.
Out of all of these, confinement is probably the most likely motivation, at least for most sects (Jins and Jiangs excluded, though it was likely what the Jin sect said their motivations were – but I'll get to them later). This one is the most simple – we know spirit-trapping pouches exist, and we know the sects also placed 120 stone beasts on the Burial Mounds to prevent Wei Wuxian's soul from escaping. Therefore, this seems to be the most likely motivation – and fortunately for Wei Wuxian, probably also the best case scenario, though it still certainly isn't a good one.
For the second, coercion – this is where the Jin sect come in (more specifically Jin Guangshan with the help of Jin Guangyao). Due to their wealth and resources, they're likely the sect who played the largest role in the soul-summoning rituals. We know what they're willing to do to try to gain power – keeping Wen Ning under the pretence he was burned to death and trying to control him with the nails, and working with and helping Xue Yang torture people to help him refine his demonic cultivation, in order to have the Yin hufu fixed. Along with working with many other cultivators, alongside Xue Yang – Jin Guangshan really, really wanted that seal.
And so, Jin GuangShan sought after all those who imitated Wei WuXian in cultivating the ghostly path and gathered them under his rule. He spent a great amount of money and resources and these people, ordering them to study and analyze the structure of the Tiger Seal in secrecy so that they could replicate and restore it. - Villainous Friends extra, EXR
(Note that working with these cultivators very likely happened after Wei Wuxian's soul had failed to be summoned, since this happens some time after Wei Wuxian's death, whereas the soul-summoning ceromonies presumably started happening very close to it.)
In the previous paragraph, he's also quoted as having 'lusted after' the Yin hufu, which we already knew but it's nice to have a direct quote as evidence.
Now, would Wei WuXian willingly work with the Jin sect in doing this? No. We know that, and, given Wei Wuxian's actions in his first life (refusing to hand over the Tally, not being afraid to stand up to the sects, etc), I’m pretty sure Jin Guangshan knows that, too:
He beat around the bush a couple of times, using all his skills, yet Wei WuXian didn’t give in no matter what, and it made him run into a bunch of obstacles. - Villainous Friends extra, EXR
So this could actually make things go two ways. One, I'm wrong and that wasn't actually part of the Jin sect's motivations, since they know they wouldn't be able to control him (and in that case, had they managed to summon him, I could imagine them putting him in a spirit-trapping pouch and doing something similar to what Jin Guangyao did to Nie Mingjue's head. Which, also, not good). Two, it was a part of their motivations, and they hoped to find a way around that. After all, there are other guidao users out there now, and Wei Wuxian would now be a gui*. Also, cultivators can obviously harm ghosts – see the very existence of Night Hunts, and I'd include Xue Yang's talisman-caused destruction of A-Qing as well (while he isn't a traditional cultivator, talismans can be used by everyone).
Now, would either of these methods actually work? I'm inclined to think not really (and I expand on the former method in a note below). Would that stop Jin Guangshan/Jin Guangyao/the cultivators they employ from trying? Especially considering Jin Guangshan's lust for power?
I'm inclined to think no, too.
For the third, look no further than Jiang Cheng's reputation of capturing and torturing demonic cultivators after Wei Wuxian's death, due to thinking they could be him. And this does happen – Jin Ling knows and talks about it, and there's not real motivation for him to negatively lie about someone he loves. Also, when they come across each other at Dafan Mountain, we're told this in Jiang Cheng's inner voice:
A moment ago, Jiang Cheng was certain that this person was Wei WuXian, and all of the blood in his body started to boil. Yet, now, Zidian was clearly telling him that he wasn’t. Zidian definitely wouldn’t deceive him or make a mistake, so he quickly calmed himself and thought, this doesn’t mean anything. I should first find an excuse to take him back and use every possible method to get information out of him. It’s impossible for him to not confess anything or give himself away. I’ve done things like this in the past anyways. - MDZS Chapter 10, EXR translation
This mainly shows that he's tortured people before, rather than that he's tortured people because he thinks they're Wei Wuxian, but this reason is confirmed by Jin Ling in Chapter 24. Of course, the reason is also mentioned in this chapter, and there are other moments in the chapter that illustrate my point better**, but they come from second-hand sources which I know are easier to deny. Do take note of Jiang Cheng's expression both times he comes across 'Mo Xuanyu' (after he suspects he's Wei Wuxian) in Book One***, though:
After a moment, the corners of Jiang Cheng’s lips pulled into a twisted smile. His left hand started to unconsciously stroke the ring [Zidian] again. He spoke softly, “… Well, well. So you’re back?” - Chapter 10, EXR Although his face had always been clouded, marked with arrogance and satire, it seemed as if every corner of it had come alive. It was difficult to determine whether it was vengeful wrath, fathomless hatred, or raving ecstasy. - Chapter 23, EXR
This does seem to line up with what people say his attitude to Wei Wuxian is – there doesn't seem to be any happiness at seeing him again at all. The only time a word that could suggest that ('ecstasy') is used, it's accompanied by 'raving', and considering the context and the other possibilities of his expression, it's... probably not due to happiness at being reunited.
So, considering 1) this, 2) his contribution to the Siege specifically intended to kill Wei Wuxian, and 3) that at the time of frequent soul-summoning Jiang Yanli's death would be even closer for him, I feel pretty confident in saying that yes, this is likely a motivation for the Jiang sect in trying to re-summon Wei Wuxian's soul after his death. And, as mentioned earlier, cultivators can harm ghosts (and we know Zidian is able to remove souls posessing a body from that body, and that Jiang Cheng used Zidian on 'Mo Xuanyu' in Chapter 10. If it wasn't able to restrain/harm ghosts, or other methods weren't able to, why would he risk Wei Wuxian's soul escaping?).
And finally, option four: destruction. We're heading into much more speculative territory here, so don't consider this on par with the first three. But consider this:
We know there are some spells, like Xue Yang's talisman used on A-Qing and the body-offering ritual, that can ruin the returning soul’s reincarnation cycle by destroying it. Therefore, soul destruction is possible.
The 'main'/supposed reason for summoning Wei Wuxian's soul back is to stop the "cultivation world, or even all of mortal land" from being "faced with the most insane damnation and revenge, sinking into nothing but chaos and despair" when Wei Wuxian inevitably returns. While, as mentioned above, I severely doubt this is the motivation for certain sects – and to me is likely a rumour which the Jins (again, especially Jin Guangsha) fanned the flames of to justify summoning Wei Wuxian back for their own purposes**** – there are other sects which would take it more seriously.
Although likely disrespectful, people already thought it served Wei Wuxian right to die without his body intact by the time of the second siege – something believed to negatively affect your reincarnation in your next life*****. This is only the logical next step, and I'm pretty sure the vast majority of people would believe that, again, it would serve Wei Wuxian right, or would at least lead to less harm of the world in the long run.
For these reasons, I could definitely see this as an option for some sects, especially the sects who consider themselves more 'righteous' (cough cough the Nies under Nie Mingjue cough cough). After all, evil is evil and good is good, and the evil deserve what's coming to them. And what better way to prevent that than from preventing his soul from returning at all? So for the Nie sect – and likely some of the smaller sects involved in the Siege, since among them, additudes probably vary – yes, I do think it could be a motivation.
I’m not as sure about the Lans being willing to go this far, and that’s largely for two reasons. One, Lan Wangji’s presence and his relationship to Lan Xichen, who does (not always, but he does) let this affect how he treats Wei Wuxian. An example of this is that, when Wei Wuxian's return is made public, Lan Xichen does let him hide and shelter at the Cloud Recesses instead of trying to pursue him, likely majorly due to Lan Wangji. I'd argue that the aftermath of the Nightless City also acts as an example of this, although it definitely isn't perfect. But though he, Lan Qiren and the 33 elders do come to find Lan Wangji and do not let him continue to shelter Wei Wuxian (after they see Lan Wangji's feelings), Lan Xichen doesn't use this opportunity to kill/capture Wei Wuxian, despite Lan Wangji being in a worse condition due to having fought 33 elders, Wei Wuxian being catatonic, and Lan Qiren likely supporting this outcome (especially considering he was the one who led the Lan sect in the Siege – chapter 68, Wei Wuxian's POV). And he did let Lan Wangji take Wei Wuxian back to the Burial Mounds after:
After he went out of his way to send you back to Burial Mound and returned in such low spirits to receive his punishment, how long he kneeled before the Wall of Rules! - Chapter 99, EXR
Again, this was right after the Nightless City massacre – there isn't any goodwill towards Wei Wuxian at this point in time.
Of course, the Lan sect did participate in the siege after Lan Xichen knew of Lan Wangji's feelings towards Wei Wuxian, which Lan Xichen was no doubt a part of (although Lan Qiren lead the Lan sect in the siege, Lan XIchen had to have at least known/given his support, if not participated.) And it should be considered that Lan Xichen letting Wei Wuxian shelter at the Cloud Recesses was after Wei Wuxian had been back for a while, and had not caused the downfall of the Cultivation World, like many suspected he would after his death. And of course, as stated previously, his handling of the aftermath of Nightless City wasn't perfect either (though please note that his main motive here was to protect Lan Wangji from being potentially executed, rather than anything about Wei Wuxian himself). So caring about Lan Wangji doesn't mean he won't harm Wei Wuxian. But I do think he could find bringing Wei Wuxian's soul back to completely destroy it a bit excessive. There is, though, the chance that the elders of the Lan Sect would react to this differently, and of course they would have a sway on both Lan Xichen and the Lan sect as well.
The second reason is smaller, but there seems to be more focus in the Lan sect than in others when it comes to letting ghosts rest peacefully/helping them move on. And that could definitely lead to more resistance to the idea of summoning a soul back to destroy it as well, which could especially impact the elders. So I'd assume that the Lan sect would be the most likely sect to summon Wei Wuxian's soul back just for confinement, or just for some way of making sure any resentment is disippated, his spirit moves on, and he can't cause more harm to the world (eg via Inquiry)******. Not that he would or does as a ghost or as a reborn person, but that's unfortunately not relevant to this.
But yes, as a motivation for the Nie Mingjue-led Nie sect? Absolutely.
So, these are the main motives I suspect to be behind the attempted summoning of Wei Wuxian's soul after his death (and if I've missed any, please let me know – I'd love to have a discussion). And, of course, none of them lead to anywhere good. Because of course it wasn’t enough to besiege Wei Wuxian, murder the 50 non-combatants he was responsible for (and throwing them into the blood pit as a mark of disrespect because why not?), and lead to his death via him getting torn apart. It wasn’t enough to steal all his inventions, and use them commonly while still slandering him with no reprieve – or to steal his notes and give them to people like Xue Yang to study (Villainous Friends, again) and to use for their own, extremely extremely harmful, purposes. Of course, the cultivation world has to try to harm Wei Wuxian after death as well ((:
We don't know whether Wei Wuxian rejecting the summoning ceremonies was conscious or unconscious, but if it was the former, these are very likely reasons he refused to return in this way. If it was unconscious – for example, maybe during the frequent soul-summons his soul was in a weakened state due to him dying from a backlash of resentful energy and getting torn apart, and it healed over time but not before the soul-summoning rituals stopped – well, I can only be thankful.
Finally, let me leave you on the thought that – although it may well have happened since we don't spend much time in the immediate aftermath of the Sunshot campaign – there isn't even any textual mention of this happening to Wen Ruohan. Who, while not being a guidao user, was still very dangerous, still an extremely powerful cultivator, and still had a lot of reason to feel resentment. So.
:')
Thank you for reading!
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*Considering what we see of how Wei Wuxian's guidao functions – redirecting the ghosts'/corpses' resentment into doing something they'd want to do, eg attacking people, and directing it towards a target – I'm not sure using it to force a spirit to do something 1) extremely specific, and 2) explicitly against their will would actually work. Iirc the closest thing we get to this in text is Wei Wuxian using the corpses of Wens to attack other Wens in the Sunshot Campaign, but he's still just directing their resentment to a target of his choice, and fierce corpses do tend to be on the less concious side of things (hence why Wei Wuxian had to awaken Wen Ning's consciousness). Considering how Wen Ning attacks Wei Wuxian and the Burial Mound Wens before his consciousness had fully awoken, I... really don't think those fierce corpses were able to differentiate (or didn't care).
Meanwhile, ghosts seem to be a bit more in control of themselves – see A-Qing, and Wei Wuxian's own descriptions of his ghost self.
That, alongside ghost!Wei Wuxian being able to resist his soul-summoning and the fact that pretty much all of the new guidao users are a lot weaker than he was, does make me think that this this wouldn't work. I do wonder about Xue Yang, since his methods are pretty different as well, but he's more of a modao user than a guidao user (he controls living corpses rather than dead people) and I don't think you can insert physical nails into ghosts?? Though if he was specifically instructed to figure out some way to control ghost!Wei Wuxian (who's probably kept in a spirit-trapping pouch in this scenario), he might be able to do something at least. Though also he was also struggling to piece Xiao Xingchen's ghost soul back together, so he may struggle with those areas?
Well, whatever the potential outcome, I'm so so happy once again that Wei Wuxian's soul managed to resist the soul-summonings...
**Mainly this:
Everyone in the cultivation world knew that the young leader of the Jiang Clan watched out for Wei WuXian in an almost crazed manner. He would rather catch the wrong person than let go of any possibility, and took anyone who seemed like they held the soul of Wei WuXian away to the YunmengJiang Sect, inflicting severe torture on his victim. If he wanted to take someone back, the opposition would surely lose half of their life. - Chapter 10, EXR
But I have heard people say 'you can't prove that it's just more rumours' before, and I wanted my evidence to be as watertight as possible.
(And, off-topic... isn't it really sad how Jiang Cheng, in the present day, is described as young? Because, for a clan leader, he is. And another thing he is, is close in age to Wei Wuxian – who was killed 13 whole years prior :') )
***And do note that the only other time they run into each other before Wei Wuxian's identity is revealed to the world apart from this is their brief interaction at Jinlintai, where he can't just act however he wants. The next time they run into each other after it, Jiang Cheng is literally taking part in another siege against him, and still extremely hostile ("surrounded by hostile energy, face insidious, staring straight at him" – from EXR chapter 60). Then he loses his spiritual powers and can't do anything. By the time he regains his powers, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and the Wen remnants' corpses have saved everyone during the Second Siege, and though public opinion hasn't properly shifted quite yet, it will soon after Sisi and Bicao tell the story of Jin Guangyao, and voila, a new scapegoat (do note that he doesn't completely bar Wei Wuxian from entering Lotus Pier after the Second Siege, though). Plus, throughout it all, Lan Wangji is still constantly present, which makes it hard for Jiang Cheng to really do anything. And then he's finally faced with the Golden Core reveal, which does alter his motivations towards Wei Wuxian (obviously the resentment is still there – read chapter 102 – but it's also mixed with other complex emotions, and he seems to start being able to move away from that a little in Chapter 103). I still definitely wouldn't describe Jiang Cheng's attitude towards him as positive, but it isn't at the point it was at the start of the novel (eg Chapter 10).
But even if his attitude does change, or would for whatever other reason apart from the reveal, that still doesn't change an initial motivation so isn't relevant to this meta. We know his intentions at the start.
****It's also possible they may have originated it, but I think WWX's reputation was bad enough for it to form naturally. Though you can trace a major part of that back to them, too.
*****That belief isn't outright stated in MDZS, but the fact people are specifically talking about the status of WWX's body in the aftermath of his death suggests that this belief does have some grounding in the MDZS universe, at least? And we know MXTX has included it in TGCF (though that doesn't mean it's definitely in MDZS), so she has used it in her works. If this isn't the case in the MDZS universe I am sorry (although that could also mean there's less importance placed on not disturbing the reincarnation cycle in the world of MDZS...? Which would work towards my original argument) – I don't want to spread misinformation that something is definitely true, I just think there's evidence to suggest it is true, which isn't the same thing.
******Again, I think this would depend on who ends up having more influence over who in the Lan sect. After all, normal resentful spirits only do what they do because of their resentment in death, whereas Wei Wuxian is 'dangerous' because of who everyone thinks he was in life – so him being reborn naturally could also 'cause a lot of harm to the world' during the time period this version of him would live in, unlike the resentful ghosts they appease. This could definitely lead to many advocating for confinement, I think.
#writing this takes me back to my nie huaisang one#'detective metas' i'd call both of them#as opposed to analysis of characters or themes#it may be less 'meaningful' but it's still fun to explore and speculate within a world you love#...albeit maybe not for this one because. mdzs jianghu when i get my hands on you-#also i fully acknowledge i may be wrong#but again i'd love to have discussions about these! debates and knowledge exchange are what leads to better understanding of source materia#which is a major goal of mine in writing these#mdzs meta#my meta#wei wuxian#mdzs cultivation world#long post#mo dao zu shi#gdc#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#魔道祖师#mxtx#detective meta#<– if i ever make this a tag#also i feel like you could write a fic (angsty or not so angsty depending on where you go with it) where the lan sect somehow-#-summons ghost!wwx back (not sure how bc the jin and jiang sects would probably want 'custody' of him more - and i don't think summoning-#-rituals are done by just one sect at a time? but imagine it happens) and idk he's kept in a spirit-trapping pouch or sth#lwj probably isn't told bc of what happened after nightless city - elders can't really trust him in matters to do with wwx#but maybe lxc feels bad for him or sth (especially bc he's mourning him and stuff + what happened after he found out wwx was dead)#and tells him and maybe brings wwx's soul to him for a bit so wwx can respond to inquiry#and they talk and obv. wwx is NOT happy with the situation (both rn and yk bc of the VERY RECENT SIEGE)#but but but! the thing that would stop this being completely depressing is that LWJ HAS A-YUAN SO WWX FINDS OUT HE SURVIVED#also lwj's injuries would likely come up at SOME point which would lead to wwx finding out abt nightless city afermath#AA NOO THE TAGS WENT ON FOR SO MUCH LONGER BUT I GUESS TUMBLR DOESN'T ALLOW SO MANY i'll have to make another post...
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people love an "i'll take care of you" "it's rotten work" "not to me, not if it's you" character dynamic until the character who needs to be taken care of is disabled. then it's supposedly fucked up and toxic for a person to have to take care of someone else.
#eliot posts#this is continuing off that last post i reblogged#that time i was like ''aw tumblr is out of new posts for this character i like. reddit is empty too. lemme check twitter''#BIG MISTAKE#i had to see the hot take of#''it's fucked up to ship this because character A had to be character B's caretaker. that's basically slavery.''#LIKE BRUH???#have you. ever met a couple where one of them is disabled and needs a caretaker? bc that's a very real thing that happens and it's not toxi#honestly usually the risk in those situations is the power the caretaker nay have over their disabled partner#but that imbalance can be properly navigated#and is not a concern in these two characters' case bc there is a very clear mutual respect there#caregiver fatigue is a real problem too of course but that's ALSO something that can be successfully navigated#and in these particular characters' case doesn't seem like it would be an issue because like#character b also has professional caretakers who will likely continue to be part of his life if needed#(and the money to hire more if not)#like it's okay to not like the ship#maybe the age gap of someone in their 20s w someone in the equivalent of their 30s squicks you out#maybe you monogamously ship one or both of them w someone else#maybe you think their dynamic is way more interesting from a platonic angle than from a romantic one#maybe you just aren't interested in their dynamic#those are all fair points! i'm not even ride or die for that ship myself#but jesus fucking christ you don't gotta be ableist about it#oh or the equally bad take i saw on there of#''character a could never be attracted to character b. he just sees char b as a sick dying old dog that he needs to take care of''#like no! character a clearly respects and values character b! they are friends! the issue is just that YOU see character b as a dying dog.
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the absolute lack of media literacy from people who haven’t even seen oppenheimer is making my head spin but whatever
#like - every three seconds it’s someone talking about how it’s us military prop or it doesn’t cover the atrocities well etc etc#when a) it is so definitely NOT us propoganda- it is so clearly critiquing the us military and oppenheimer himself#and b) it doesn’t cover every small detail of the impacts of the bomb bc that’s not what the film is about#it is a screenplay adapted from a biography on oppenheimer#it is about him - a biopic - and how he got to the point of making atomic weapons and ends on a note of undeniable horror#it is a movie that constantly bombards you with anxiety bc you have the burden of knowing the future#it is not in any way forgiving anything - it acknowledges the fucked up nature of the situation#hell it’s mostly a courtroom drama that shows how fucked up mccarthyism was#i’m a big history buff - so this plays a lot into it#but y’all have GOT to just stop seeinf things on a surface level and engage with media w/ a deeper mindset of just ‘thing bad’#anyway - sorry it bothers me a lot#there are genuine criticims that can be leveled at both nolan and this film and i have seen them#im not sitting here calling the end all be all of cinema - but it’s a well made movie w/ something interesting to say and evaluate#not wanting to see it is one thing - by all means - but wringing it through the mud w/ absolutely no knowledge of the actual content of -#the film itself is actively annoying#media literacy#oppenheimer#mini rant
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"forever is a bad dad to richa-" SHUT UP!!!!!
#qsmp#qsmp forever#qsmp richarlyson#id also add in the book he wrote for the egg museum where he talked again about forever being the one who took care of him the most#but i dont have the patience to find it in vods to screenshot it#also sorry but. some people on twitter have been stressing me out A LOT over their opinions on their relationship#ive literally been stressing about it since i woke up i needed to release this stress somehow#< also im thinking of doing a long post talk about what their relationship is and isnt#bc whenever theres angst/fight between them people take it as an opportunity to mischaracterize BOTH forever and richas#in a way that makes it clear that the person 1. doesnt keep up with forevers pov#and 2. only knows richas through one pov#like. ok#disagree with forever however you want youre free to do that#i myself think he was in the wrong in multiple situations (like the tallulah fight day)#BUT SURPRISE!! SAYING HES A BAD DAD IS LITERALLY SO WRONG!!#PEOPLE CAN MESS UP!! PEOPLE CAN MAKE MISTAKE!! NO ONE IS A PERFECT PARENT!!#NO ONE ALREADY KNOWS HOW TO BE THE PERFECT DAD AND THERES NO SUCH THING AS BEING A PERFECT DAD!!#PARENTHOOD IS SOMETHING YOU LEARN ALONG THE WAY!!!#AND LEARNING HOW TO BE A DAD IS A CORE TRAIT OF FOREVERS CHARACTER SINCE DAY ONE!!!!!!!#saying hes a bad dad literally goes against canon statements from richas#saying richas is uncomfortable with forever goes against canon#“oh but i mean in the emotional way” ok so you never watched a forever stream before#because when they fight. richas ALWAYS opens up to forever later on how he felt#the fights HAPPEN because richas is comfortable making drama in front of forever#if richas' didnt feel comfortable he would literally just “suck up” his jealously and not show it often but he does shows it often#if richas was uncomfortable after fights he would just apologize and never talk about his feelings#but after the tallulah fight? he told forever about how romero richas affects his body and how he feels#after the armor fight? he told forever about how he felt towards his own life#to which btw BOTH of these times where he opened up#he had never talked about that with anyone before
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drawing from an AU
#spoilers in tags ->#ashe bradley#noel levine#once again clarifying image alt puts noel as patricia because this is a largely nonspoiler drawing#so if i put “noel” a nonspoiler drawing would become spoilers etc#anyway i always thought the idea of teenage ashe and kid noel interacting was interesting so i have an au centered around it#idk something something noel in canon reminds ashe of lilia bc of him being ill#so kid noel (child aound lilia's age + fem presenting) would probably remind him more#(i imagine he was pretty sick as a kid too)#(bc i dont imagine nicholas would really take him to the doctor unless he thought noel was gonna die)#(+ its not like noel would tell him if he was feeling bad)#(and because high stress situations can lead to bad health)#(honestly some other reasons too)#plus them being from totally different backgrounds#but still both being traumatized is an interesting contrast#and theyre both trying to “find” something in this au so its interesting#drawings#full color
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Might just create a Wriothesley x Furina fic just to end the Wriolette vs. Neuvifuri war. Seeing the shipping nonsense in Genshin Twitter is like watching a garbage truck on fire.
#genshin impact#neuvifuri#wriolette#i ship them both#neuvifuri bc it's cute#wriolette mainly bc of Kamiyan and OnoD#BUT THIS NONSENSE HAS TO STOP#so the only solution is to ship Rizzley and Furina#while I get Neuvillette :-)#definitely a win-win situation dont you think#FIC IDEA for WrioFuri: post-trial Furina is sent to Meropide for fooling her people and there Wrio helps her get accustomed to her new life#prob a bad idea so drop some if you have more
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Okay I've talked about the tragedy of Laudna now let's talk about the tragedy of Imogen.
It’s been a while, but her moment in the Feywild truth exercise where she says "I think I’m tainted. I don’t know if I want to save gods that don’t love me" has really stuck in my mind. The thing is, I don’t think she’s specifically talking about the gods here, but rather summing up and projecting her entire experience as a ruidusborn. She isn’t thinking "Why aren’t I the gods' special little princess? Why haven’t they come to save me specifically?? You better love me or I'll let you die" (which we have seen does seem to be a common attitude in the Vanguard) This is her fear of being against her own will tainted by something evil. Her fear that, despite knowing how wrong it is, part of her longs for the power and belonging that comes with giving in to Predathos. It’s knowing that this thing is the antithesis of the gods, and that no matter what she does and how much she opposes it, it is still part of her. And because of that, the world doesn’t love her. Her mother left, her father can barely look at her, her own body will betray her with feelings and powers she doesn't understand, her community ostracized her, her allies view her with suspicion, the gods will not lend a hand in their own rescue when she asks despite Imogen putting herself and her loved ones in danger for their sake.
And Imogen is tired. Tired of being the bigger person, tired of resisting. Logically she knows the gods don’t hate her specifically but it ads up, and as the lure of Predathos does promise love and belonging part of her wants to give in because why should she risk so much to save a world that has never once tried to save her.
And that’s where she, as well as Laudna, get so interesting. They have deeply sympathetic reasons for their doubts and flaws, as well as for why they value each other so much higher than the entirety of Exandria (tl;dr because they have only ever gotten genuine understanding and unconditional love from each other). But that doesn’t mean it isn't flaws. It doesn’t mean Imogen, if she hadn’t met Laudna and the Hells first and realized the harm the Vanguard is causing and that their promises are ultimately lies, couldn’t have been drawn in by the Vanguard's ideas. It doesn’t mean they aren't wrong in blaming gods for bad things in their own lives, or in demanding special treatment. But it’s deeply understandable, which is the very reason they and people like them're such excellent targets for the Vanguard to convert. And once in the Vanguard, it doesn’t matter how tragic and sympathetic you are, you are still doing evil.
#critical role#cr3#imogen temult#meanwhile Laudna's negative attitude towards the gods is a bit more complicated#in that she really does blame them for not saving her#she's repressing all of her negative emotions about her fate and situation but those feelings are still THERE#and lately they’ve been heightened due to the stressful situation of trying to save the gods#and laudna doesn’t want to save anyone she just want to chill and enjoy what little life she has#and so when the negative emotions do come out she projects them at the gods bc she needs SOMEONE to blame#and since she’s never interacted with a god they’re easy to blame bc in a way they aren’t entirely real to her#something that isn’t entirely real but very powerful can’t be a victim but it can be an easy scapegoat#bells hells travel past the divine gate and physically interact with the gods challange#it would be so juicy to see imogen and laudna be forced to face and process this projection of guilt against the gods they both share#i think it would help them realize that sometime randomly bad things will just Happen and it’s no ones fault#and in seeing that stop looking for someone to blame (both themselves and the gods) and start to heal#nella talks cr
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wehgh what if I drew the same scene of their meet cute for the 100th time but actually remembered all the stars are dead this time.
#its just. they both felt their life was about to be over. Lordakai because he had two bad seasons in a row and was running out#of time to make ends meet for the year. and Toi'uhla bc ze just got engaged to someone ze Loved but knew ze would be miserable with#not even because of who Guli'vany is as a person but because of the life of stagnation and nobility that came with them#and then the winds changed#a single completely random event that brought a man who lived to follow their whims to a bird who'd never taken a chance in zer life#and then they fucked about it.#like stuff happened between those events but neither of them were in a place to like. process their emotions or what they wanted#from eachother or their own lives or their shared situation. and fucking about it was easier than talking about it.#idk man. pirate romance but the point of it is that if the kidnapped maiden doesn't bite someone full force every few weeks ze#will go bonkers insane and pluck all zer feathers out
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ok.. 2nd mutual i've softblocked bc they implied they suffer from homophobia irl.. maybe i'm being overly critical bc of course if you do have that sort of prejudice, it's better to be aware of & work on it than pretend it's not a thing.. and maybe i'm biased toward not understanding bc i am bisexual? but, like, pretty sure i've met plenty of very heterosexual people who legitimately were not offended or made uneasy by the presence of Gays at all. it's just kind of weird to me to casually mention being uncomfortable around gay people on the gay website
#both times there's been an implication or outright statement that theoretically they support gay rights#they just feel uncomfortable around gay ppl or uncomfortable when someone of the same sex flirts with them?? or in the first case she said#the IDEA of them flirting with her which is hilarious to me like ok then stop thinking abt it..#specifically a poll asking if that's homophobic. was the context#like tbh it does make me uncomfortable any time men flirt with me so i guess i can understand but i'm not a lesbian#i think that's just bc like. they're men and i've ended up in a lot of bad situations by indulging rando men who flirt with me#like relatively rational discomfort i think#whereas ppl being gay around someone or a lesbian flirting with you non-forcefully (which is what was described) is like#umm i feel like you have to be pretty ignorant to feel weird about that?#actually understanding homosexuality should kind of lift the fear that the Gays are like?? idk whatever about it made her 'uncomfortable'
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insane that there is finally an actually good and interesting and believable straight couple in an avatar-verse story and they’re not even actually together
#forgive me for saying avatar-verse i hate that there even is one#but these books are the way to do it if there is gonna be one#yangchen#kavik#yangvik#i believe ppl are calling it lol#the dawn of yangchen#the legacy of yangchen#they are sooooooo#honestly they might be the best couple in any avatar media straight or otherwise#like they’re the only straight ship that’s good at ALL but they might be more interesting to me than the gay ones too#WAIT i lied there’s one other good straight couple i forgot about sokka and suki!!!!!!!!!#i’m so sorry i was so caught up in how bad all the major het couples are#and how the katara w aang vs zuko debate is dumb bc they’re both terrible ships#r.txt#EDIT I FORGOT SOKKA AND SUKI#THEYRE WONDERFUL THIS IS NOT A DIG AT THEM#i wasn’t even thinking about them in this context bc to me they just kind of. are.#like they’re not underwritten bc there’s not big declaration of love or being married forever or anything#like there’s nothing to underwrite they just like each other and are dating and that’s the ideal situation imo#i love that for them#but like if kavik and yangchen DID address their feelings it would’ve felt natural and believable#unlike the other het avatar romances or other popular major character het ships. you know who i mean.#anyway remembering they exist and i love them kind of undermined my whole post but i’m posting anyway
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Tomorrow Is Election Day And I Am So Fucking Stressed
#marzi speaks#marzivents#hi folks. i haven’t been making much art lately. apologies! i want to be#unfortunately shit is Stressful in both my little world (i’m starting to get overwhelmed with my meds and refills and driving)#and on a broader more societal scale (if trump gets re-elected shit is going to go so fucking bad oh my god)#PLUS we’re in the It Gets Dark At 6PM Zone now#i think i’ve lowkey been catastrophizing a bit with all that’s been going on#i should probs look into those psych referrals my doctor gave me#she offered them bc the almost-dying earlier this year was Traumatic and i was showing signs of anxiety/depression#but i think they’ll just be helpful in general#god though i hate being on prescriptions. it feels like there’s a constant timer hanging over my head#refill these pills before this time so you don’t have to miss a day. woops! the pharmacy’s out of stock on this one#so you’ll have to come back at another less convenient time. fail to do so and the medication goes on hold#which requires a phone call where you speak to a Robot that may not understand the nuances of ur situation#grrrgh it sucks so bad. thankfully i refilled my prednisone the other day and have like 3 months’ worth now#and that’s the one i really can’t afford to miss bc steroid withdrawals could really fuck me up#but uggghhh i hate it. so much. bc it looms over me always#i hate keeping track of when i’ve taken my pills too. i keep a checklist for every day#so i remember what i have to take and if i’ve taken it#but god it sucks. i’m at the point where it’s basically routine now so i do it automatically#but i know if i stop monitoring i’m gonna forget if i’ve taken my steroid one day#and either double dose or skip the day. and that’ll fuck me up pretty good#anyways. hoping hoping hoping this election goes well bc idk if i can take it if our country tis of thee elects the fucking fascist#this one’s fine to rb. i think many of us share this sentiment lmao
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Yk, the funniest thing ever about me is that mithrun isn't my no 1 favorite chr.. It's thistle. Thistle is my favorite character. But i think ppl forget that bc i run the mithrun blog 😭
#SIGH. ofc i love rhe brown chrs. ok?#i still need to make that thistle essay i prommisedd heh#i love projecting and post dungeon mithrun reminds me of my lowest point in my life. aka like 2 months ago.#its really shocking how so much can happen in just 2 months... haha#i love thistle more because his situation heavily reminds me of my own#and the way he acts. aka his girl rage... yeah i fw ur girl rage heavy. bc... me too. me too.#i just love how he's so violent because he is desperate. his story jusy feels like a dog whos tail has been stepped on too much#guy who constantly meets the people he cares abouts need yet them not meeting his own. how tragic is that? then you wounder why he acts the#way he does...#i wannna yap about thistle and yaad and how theyre both victims to delgl SOOO BAD. i love how they get to heal separately too.#finallt free in postcanon#ok rhays too off topic. i love thistle#ok?#i wanted to make a thistle rp blog#but was indecisive over him or mithrun#butt since oomf took him i was like oh ok ill make mithrun#text
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Simon's parents have a really strong relationship. they were together for five years before getting married, and Simon was born a little over a year after. theres a lot of love and trust between them and theyre really good at communicating with each other. and like their son, neither of them are quick to temper. thats not to say theyve never fought before- a 23 year relationship is prone to see a little friction occasionally- but never anything.... relationship shaking.
Simon's mom is the principal of Berry High. she is, at least some degree, aware of things that get put up around the school, especially things that get put up in public areas. she's not fully In Charge of things going up on like, say, bulletin boards, but typically to put something up on one you have to get faculty permission to make sure its school appropriate, and as faculty sometimes students go to her to put things up.
including the New Start posters.
she wants to say no, they feel like a mean spirited smear campaign borderlining on bullying. but the Council seat is chosen by the students. Simon was elected because his classmates thought he was the best choice, so if some of his classmates are unhappy, its only fair to let their voices be heard. even if their way of going about it seems a bit excessive. if she denies these posters than the students who are calling for Simon to be removed from the Council will just have more ammunition to use against him: his mother's special treatment.
she doesnt like it, but she allows the posters to be put up.
Simon's dad also works at Berry High; he's the librarian.
the day is winding down when he sees a student putting up some new posters on the bulletin board right outside the library. he startles them when he approaches and calmly- eerily calm- asks who signed off on these posters. the student tells him, then scurries off with the rest of the posters they were supposed to put in the library itself.
he isnt gentle taking the poster down, and it crumples in his grip as he makes his way to his wife's office and slams it onto her desk.
he doesn't say anything.
he doesn't have to.
#first Massive argument between a couple! lets hear it for their first Explosive argument!!!!!!!!!!#she stands by her decision to let the posters be put up but he thinks she should have at least made them tone it down#Simon's too busy dealing with his own problems to notice theyre fighting at first. plus they hide it well. but he does eventually realize#also bc of my love of divorce i gotta say: No this Does Not end in divorce. they go to couples therapy about it though#if the New Start student to ask to put the posters up had gone to him instead of her he would have made that same decision tbh#its easy for him to be mad about it when he wasnt put in a situation where he felt like he had to overdo Not giving special treatment#if that makes sense. like both of them dont want to give Simon special treatment to the point they might let things pass that shouldnt#like how Jawbone wasnt great at telling Kipperlily to maybe ease off the Bad Kids bc hes close w them & it might end up as special treatmen#anyway Ace absolutely told the New Start students to ask Principal Klein about the posters bc he knew she would feel trapped about it#high school story prime
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