#no I genuinely want to print this out I’m so proud of it

[philsmeatylegss]

Just lost a mutual of two years because I called Dan a faggot😞😭

[empty-movement]

Chiho Saito’s 1999 Revolutionary Girl Utena Original Illustration Collection

IT’S HERE. IT’S DONE. IT’S FINISHED. NOW…IT’S YOURS. Happy Holidays, my friends.

Vanna here! I have posted some already about this project, and the responses I got, public and otherwise, have been absolutely incredible. Y’all have been reblogging and hyping this before it even finished…I haven’t felt so encouraged about an Utena project since the musicals! (Yes, streams soon, I promise.) You can read the other post to get more details, and catch my post here with more details about the process if you’re interested. The long and short of it?

This is the first artbook I ever scanned. I did it in 2001. In Photoshop, using multiple scans per page that took hours to process. But it was 2001. A half megabyte file that was 1250px wide was considered extremely hardcore and impressive. That’s just always been the business I’m in when it comes to Utena art, you know? 

It’s now the latest artbook I’ve scanned, and so much of the process, and effort involved, is unchanged. What has changed, is the result. Welcome to your new desktop background. Your new phone background. Your new poster print. 

What I’ve done here is attempt to create definitive digitized images of Chiho Saito’s work as offered by this book--I have removed the print moiré of the original scans, and used my literal decades of experience to try and tease out as much information from them as possible. Without being physically in front of the original artwork (which is a thing I’ve had the great fortune to get to do) this is The Most Chiho Saito you are ever going to get. I’ve tried my best to make sure there is a way to get it that works for everyone:

Do you just wanna scope 'em out? Look at some disaster gays? Grab your favorite one or two? This is the path for you! Check out the ‘compressed’ (not very) 10k ‘web friendly’ (not really) copy at the Bibliothèque, the media archiving wing of the Something Eternal forums at Empty Movement*. All the following links are also available from here. Do you want these copies? All of them? Don't just grab them individually, friend. This batch is 375MB and can be downloaded as a zip of the individual files here on our Google Drive.

Do you like digital archiving? Are you looking for a copy that preserves the archival quality of the effort but sits nice and comfy in a single file? This is for you. A minimally compressed 10k, 513MB version worked into a PDF is now up, shiny and chrome, on the Internet Archive. Do you like the idea of the minimal compression, but want the individual files in a zip? Yep I did that too, here's the drive link.

Are you looking to print these in a larger size? This is probably the only reason on Earth you’d ever want them, and yet a bunch of you are going to go straight for these. Here are the zero-compression JPG full size copies, most of them are 15k across, like simply a ridiculous size. Pick your fave and download it from our Google Drive! 

I am genuinely really proud of this work.** I was able to tease out so much new detail from these…her incredible layering techniques, the faintest brush of her highlights, and the full range of her delicate hand at whites and blacks… details commonly lost in digitization. I sincerely hope you find something here that you’re looking for, as an artist looking for inspiration, as a weeb looking for a desktop, as an archiver excited to see incredible 90s manga artwork saved forever in the digital realm. I feel like I have already said so much about them, and could keep going, but you know what? This work speaks for itself. Enjoy, use, explore, and definitely tell us what you think!

We love y’all. ~ Vanna & Yasha

* AHEM ASTERISK AHEM

You might be wondering what any of that is. Something Eternal? Biblewhatawhat??? EmptyMovement.com? You might even have done a double take at the word ‘forum.’ And you should!!!

I have a confession. This artbook was my ‘side project’ as I worked on this, *the main project.* For a couple years I’ve been banging around with a new domain, and originally I had other plans for it, but Elon Musk ruined my Twitter and Discord is well along on its way to enshittification, and well….we joke on the Discord a lot about ‘reject modernity, embrace forums’ and you know what? We’re right. So Yasha and I are putting our money where our mouths are once again, and doing something insane. We are launching, in 2023, a website forum. Obviously, this is not the official ‘launch’ per se, but I cannot announce the artbook without directing you to the forum, since it sits on the attached very cool gallery system. Oops! Told on myself. Another post more focused on the forum will be forthcoming, but if you are just that motivated to get in right away, you absolutely can! (This will help stagger new arrivals anyway, which is good for us!) If you would rather wait for the ‘official’ launch, by all means that’s coming, including a lengthy screed about how and why we’re doing this. In either case, remember: this is a couple weebs trying to make internet magic happen, we are not website developers by trade. Give us grace as we iron things out and grow into this cool new website thingie…hopefully along with some of you! :D

If you do join up, naturally, there is a thread about this project!

** If you like this kind of content, consider helping us pay for it! We do have a Patreon! If you’re wanting to use these in some public-facing distributive way, all we ask is for credit back to Empty Movement (ohtori.nu or emptymovement.com, either will work.) 

I would like to say ‘don’t just slap these files on RedBubble to get easy money’ but I know that saying this won’t effectively prevent it. Y’all that do that suck, but you’re not worth letting it rain on the rest of this parade. :)

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

daddy is my #1 fan

pairing: re6! leon x reader

cw: ddlg, pacifier use, p in v, unprotected sex, oral sex, sex toys

summary: reader is a camgirl and her biggest fan is leon. they meet up at a hotel and have a fun and sexy time

a/n: this is a commission from an anonymous commissioner

wc: 3.1k

You started this gig in a moment of crisis. You’d just gotten laid off and didn’t know how else to come up with rent for that month. Plus, you’d seen the way men stare at you. You might as well use it to your advantage. Initially, you kept your face out of the frame, but the main attraction was still on full-display. It’s a good thing you already had a fair amount of plushies piling up on your bed and quite the collection of cute panties. DDLG had been a secret fantasy of yours for quite some time, but you’d never gotten the guts to bring it up to any of your previous partners. Good thing guys on the internet were totally into it.

You wore a schoolgirl skirt and a pair of pink cotton panties underneath. The skirt was for a Britney Spears Halloween costume, but you advertised it as a “Catholic school uniform”. The Catholic schoolgirl persona made you look even more innocent and girlish than you did when you slipped off your panties with Sanrio characters printed on them and began to grind on your pink frilly pillow.

Some of the usernames in the chat became familiar to you, though you referred to everyone as ‘daddy’ regardless of their handle. The money started rolling in and you were able to buy a vibrator that could be controlled by the paying chatters.

You also received gifts in the mail that you used on camera – sex toys, panties, and pacifiers. You ended up having to show your face with those, but it was worth it to see messages started flooding in, telling you how cute your expression was when you came.

There was one user in particular who donated a lot of money. You had set prices for access to your photos and live streams but he always tipped extra. Once, you were planning to stop the stream when he told you he’d send 300 dollars if you joined a private session with him and came one more time.

“Daddy, I can’t. I’m too sensitive,” you whined.

“I know you can, baby girl. You’ve been doing so well for me tonight,” he typed in the chat.

“Okay, daddy, only for you,” you said, the notification for a donation popped up on your screen. You could be mean and stop the stream, taking the money and using it to buy yourself a nice dinner, but you desperately wanted him to call you a good girl.

It was worth pushing through the over-stimulation to receive a private message with the words, “Daddy’s so proud of you,” along with an extra $100.

Some men could be kind of gross, but this man, whose name you’d had yet to find out, was so kind to you – just like a daddy should be. It seemed like he genuinely cared. He regularly booked private sessions with you and not only did he give you constant praise and encouragement, he would ask how your day was and listen to you talk about anything your mind conjured up. You tried to apologize to him once for wasting his paid time by talking about your life, but he told you he loved hearing your thoughts almost as much as he loved seeing you cum. You gave him an extra orgasm that night as a thank you.

So, when he messaged you with an interesting proposal, it was even more enticing to you.

“Any chance you’d want to meet up in person? I’d pay 1500, half in advance.”

Holy shit. He could very well be a serial killer, but 1500 dollars would be an entire month's rent. Plus, he was going to pay half in advance. Would a serial killer really pay 750 dollars to score a cute victim? You sure hoped not because you were going to meet that man.

You tried not to be shallow but you worried that he might be ugly. Why else would he be paying for sex? You could technically send the money back and bail out if he turned out to be completely disgusting. The fact that he offered to meet at the Ritz Carlton, and not a Motel 6, was your first clue that he wasn’t a total sleazebag.

He knew your face, but you didn’t know his, so you had to wait anxiously in the lobby for him to arrive. You wore your best dress and put your hair up in cute pigtails with a bow tied onto each one. You arrived on time, and began to worry that the mystery man wasn’t coming. A man—hot, mid-30s, you’d guess—smiled at you from across the lobby and you were instantly hit with a wave of disappointment at the fact that you couldn't flirt with him. You had to wait for your man to arrive.

But then, he started walking towards you. A little flirting couldn’t hurt, right? Especially since the other guy was late. He’d understand that you’re just too cute for other men to resist.

When he was within earshot, he said, “Hey, sweet girl.” It was just a coincidence, you assumed. He surely couldn’t be referencing your username. Or maybe he was another fan, maybe you were getting really popular. It only hit you when he said “Ready to go up to our room?” and flashed you a room key.

“You’re ‘agentdaddy’?” You only knew his screen name, which you came to find out was a reference to his real occupation as a government agent. Agent Leon Kennedy — a nice name, but you’d rather call him ‘Daddy’.

“Do I look different than you expected I would?”

“No offense, but I didn’t think you’d be so… hot.” You must’ve been starry-eyed. You hoped it made you look adorable rather than stupid.

“I’m far from offended that you think I’m attractive. I was worried it was the other way around.” He held out his hand and you took it. He led you towards the elevator.

“I’m just surprised that someone like you is paying for someone like me.” You made sure not to let him know that you’d let him have you for free.

“You’re too cute, baby,” he said, while pinching your cheeks which flushed bright pink at the gesture.

He leaned down and gave you the softest, sweetest kiss when you were in the empty elevator. When the elevator stopped at the floor you were staying on, you held out your palm, asking Leon to take it. He happily walked hand-in-hand with you to your hotel room.

When he opened the door, you barely had time to marvel at the gorgeous room because he was already kissing you, and his lips were so soft you could get lost in the feeling of them against yours. Thinking about what else he could do with his mouth made you feel dizzy. Good thing he was getting ready to pick you up and place you on the king-sized bed.

He drank in the sight of you, not hungry or animalistic—he didn’t want to devour you, he wanted to dote on you, to take his time with you.

Before he took off his jacket and his own shoes, he helped you unbuckle your mary-janes.

He ran his hands up the fabric of your thigh-highs. A brand new pair that you’d worn just for him. “These look so cute on you,” he said.

“Thank you, daddy,” you said in a small voice, both shy and falling further into your little girl headspace.

“Can daddy see what’s under your pretty dress?”

You nodded your head enthusiastically. You picked out a special pair of panties just for him. Baby pink with “I <3 Daddy” on the front in red. He manhandled you, standing you up so he could take off your dress. You lifted your arms up before being asked, knowing he was going to help you pull it over your head. Leon picked you up and laid you down on the bed, stopping to admire you. You watched as pure desire filled his eyes. He almost forgot to hang up your dress because he was so distracted by your barely covered cunt. Your arousal had already created a wet patch in the thin fabric of your panties.

Leon discarded his shirt before getting on his knees. He wanted to tease you further but longed to taste you. He spread your thighs with his big hands and then he ran his thumb across your still-clothed slit. His light touch was tantalizing, making you shiver.

“So pretty for daddy,” he said. “I knew you were beautiful on camera, but you’re even prettier in person. I bet you taste good too.”

All thoughts swiftly exited your brain and all you could say was “daddy”.

“Daddy’s right here, sweet girl.” His fingers played with the waistband of your panties before he asked, “Can daddy take these off?”

“Yes, daddy,” you said.

He gently slipped them off and began to play with your folds, admiring your beauty. “Oh, baby,” he said, “your princess parts are so wet. Have you been waiting for daddy?”

“Yeah,” you said, “Need daddy’s help.”

“Such a good girl for waiting. I bet it was really hard when you were feeling this way.”

You nodded repeatedly, making sure he received your silent confirmation.

Leon’s head dipped between your thighs and you were biting back moans of anticipation. He flattened his tongue and took a languid lick up your folds, stopping at your clit to suck gently, earning more of your slick and an unbridled moan.

You knew you could reach your peak quickly if he continued. You were already fighting the overwhelming urge to buck your hips as you were dying for the feeling of his tongue.

He pulled back all too soon. Your immediate response was a whine, so desperate it almost saddened Leon.

“Shh… baby it’s okay,” he cooed, bringing his hand up to your cheek. “Daddy just wants to take his time with you.” He selfishly needed to taste you first, but he knew he couldn’t neglect the rest of your body. It would be sinful not to worship an angel like you fully.

“Let me go get something to calm you down, okay?”

You agreed, though your eyes were glossy with tears the moment Leon stood up. You assumed the overnight bag he brought held only a toothbrush and an extra pair of clothes, but you were glad to see that he brought you a brand new pacifier.

Your lips parted, almost instinctively to let him slot the pacifier between them. You sucked on the nub contentedly as you allowed Leon to move you so that you were comfortably situated on the bed with your head on the pillow while he loomed over you, getting a perfect view of your gorgeous figure. Each of his hands cupped one of your tits, giving them a gentle squeeze and then taking a moment to play with your nipples. He gave a kiss to each one because good girls with pretty tits deserve kisses.

“You’re such a good girl. Daddy’s gonna kiss you all over now.” As Leon began to kiss down your stomach, making his way towards the parts of you that needed his touch the most, you held out a hand for him to take. He smiled at your adorable gesture and intertwined his fingers with yours while his other hand held onto one of your hips.

“I think your princess parts need the most kisses. Is that right, baby?”

You nodded eagerly and Leon got to work, beginning by pressing his lips to your clit. You were struggling to keep the pacifier in your mouth as the feeling of his tongue lapping at your folds had you holding back moans. His middle finger slipped inside you, followed by his index, and as he curled them upward to meet that sensitive spot, your legs began to shake. You gripped his hand tighter and he stopped the movements of his mouth only momentarily to say, “I know, I know, baby. Just relax for me. Let it happen. Daddy’s gonna be here the whole time.”

When his lips reattached to your clit as he continued to finger you, doubling the pleasure he was giving you, you came – causing the pacifier to fall from your lips, leaving a trail of drool dripping from your mouth. You moaned loudly, chanting “daddy” over and over again, gushing around his fingers. He made sure not to let a single drop of your arousal go to waste, savoring your taste and refusing to pull back until you pushed his head away.

“Too much, Daddy, too much,” you whined.

“Alright, alright, cutie. Daddy will give you a break.”

“No break, no break, daddy.”

“No break? I thought you said it was too much, honey.”

“Need daddy inside,” you pouted. Leon nearly let a groan slip from his mouth.

“Need daddy inside, huh?” He was unable to resist you. “Let me go get something for you first, okay?”

As it turned out, there were more surprises in his bag. He brought you a plushie to hold onto, and you pulled him into a hug, thanking him for the gift.

You held onto the plushie as you watched Leon take off his pants, fully entranced by the sight of his dick.

“Daddy, I don’t think it’s gonna fit.” It was a huge ego boost to Leon, but you truly weren’t sure if you could take him fully inside.

“It’s gonna fit, sweet pea. We’re gonna go slowly.”

Going slowly didn’t stop the intense feeling of being stretched, but Leon showered you in praise as he pressed inside you, one inch at a time.

“Look at you,” he said with a wide grin when you were fully filled by him. He pointed to the slight bulge in your belly where you could see his dick. You were amazed at your own ability to take him so well, and he was too, as confirmed with his next words.

“Daddy’s so proud of you,” he said. It was your favorite sentence to hear from him. The words alone could make you moan.

“We need to be careful not to get a noise complaint,” he said and picked up the pacifier, placing it back in your mouth. Your oral fixation happily obliged.

Leon fucked you slowly, but deeply, making sure that you felt every inch. The tip touched your cervix with every thrust.

It didn’t take long for Leon to say, “You’re gonna make daddy cum, baby. You’re so tight for me, feels so good.” Leon was nearly as lost in the feeling as you were. With the pacifier occupying your mouth, you couldn’t even tell Leon how close you were to the edge, but he was paying attention.

“Gonna cum for daddy?” he asked, needing to make sure that your pleasure came first.

Tears were forming in your waterline as you nodded, and you sobbed as your second orgasm hit you harder than the first. Leon continued to thrust slowly in and out of you as he held back his own impending orgasm. He led you through the aftershocks before pulling out and spilling all over your thighs, marking you the best he could without cumming inside you. He didn’t want to get you pregnant just yet.

“You did so good for me, baby,” he said as he placed a kiss on each cheek. “I think we should clean you up with a bath.”

Leon came prepared for bath time. From his suitcase – aka his bag of gifts for you – he pulled out rubber duckies and a bottle of bubble bath.

He picked you up and carried you bridal style to the bathroom so you wouldn’t have to use your tired legs, standing you in the bathtub, making sure to keep you upright while he wiped down your thighs that were still sticky with his release.

Leon removed you from the bath and sat you down on a towel, so he could run the water, making sure it was the perfect temperature – he had you stick your hand in to test it out before he helped you step into the tub.

You looked at him, confused. “Daddy, you aren’t getting in the bath with me?”

“Baby, the bath is for you. Daddy takes showers. You’re too little for those.”

Confusion turned to betrayal and a tear rolled down your cheek. Leon immediately backtracked. “It’s okay, honey, daddy can get in too if it’ll make his little girl happy.”

You nodded and the tears subsided. Leon swiped his thumbs across your cheeks and gave you a kiss on the forehead as an apology for suggesting you bathe alone. When he climbed in with you, he positioned in his lap, facing away from him so you could have fun with your rubber duckies, though you did end up laying your head on his chest by the end of bath time.

At first, it was difficult for Leon to stop himself from getting hard with your ass rubbing up against him, but he was soon distracted by your attempt at a bubble beard.

“Look daddy,” you said, proud of your work.

You were even happier with yourself after hearing Leon’s praises. “My baby looks pretty even with bubbles all over her face.”

“Gonna give you one, too, daddy,” you beamed before you coated his face in bubbles. It was too late for him to say no, though you were too adorable for him to refuse any offer from you.

Your fingers and toes were beginning to prune by the time you laid your cheek to Leon’s chest, and you were clearly ready for bed. Leon stepped out of the tub first so that he could be ready to wrap you in a towel the moment you got out. He wouldn’t want his baby to be cold for a second.

“Pajamas?” he asked when he carried you to bed.

“No, wanna be naked with daddy.”

Leon was more than happy to oblige with that request.

“We better get under the covers, then. Don’t wanna get cold, do we?”

You agreed, knowing that daddy was right. Lying skin to skin with Leon kept you warm through the night – so warm you almost missed your checkout time.

“Maybe we should just stay for an extra night, baby,” Leon said, leaning in for your first kiss of the day.

“Really?” You were more than pleased with his idea.

“Uh-huh,” he said, “I think daddy needs some more time playing with baby today.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, “need to play with daddy.”

You were lucky you were still naked from the night before, so there was no hassle of getting undressed. Leon was willing to pay double for another day with you, but when his lips met yours, you forgot about all payment. Your number one supporter deserved a freebie, you decided. 

[embrysunrise]

Cherubs - Urianger

I recently got it in my head that Urianger makes so much sense as a trans character and now that's all I can see so I added top surgery scars to his chest and have been doing several little doodles of him feeling liberated in his gender euphoria!! Focusing on this piece, I'm most proud of the wings and the metallics, but genuinely I feel like this whole thing is a big level-up from the last cherub I did for Estinien. I wanted to really pay attention to the subtleties of Urianger's personality and character development. I based his wings off of a swallow's wings, birds that herald distance traveled, good fortune, and good luck but can be often overlooked because they're not super flashy birds. The colors were meant to be muted in them; the whole thing is supposed to have an almost-somber feeling, which is why he's shown crying, because there's so much burden that Urianger bears for the sake of the people he cares about, and he does it all silently and without complaint. His development in ShB is what helped me to fall in love with him as a character since I had mostly written him off up until that point, so I chose a background from the cutscene trailer for the expansion. The red of his ribbon was done in the same color as the gems from his jewelry to tie all of it in, and I added a bit of glow and sparkle to his cards, but I chose not to include the astrolobe because the magic is in him :> I'm really pleased with the tone of everything; this kind of soft tragedy vibe is something I'm familiar with but the muted palette is something I'm not used to. I think it turned out great and I really look forward to turning this into a print in the future! Absolutely in love with this piece, and with Urianger. I can't stress that enough. WIP shots will be uploaded soon! See the entire tutorial process over on my Patreon!

[ihavetoomanyocsdealwithit]

Ursula Pt II

Yuu’s dreams become strange, her legs and eyes twitching in her sleep, hands clenching around nothing, sometimes waking up more exhausted than when she slept. Professor Taka frets, seeing her fatigue grow, and the slow the lessons even further, focusing on fine tuning the basics. She can wordlessly conjure most elements at this point, and her precision with spells is borderline miliary at this point though. They are delaying, and she knows it.  

She can’t tell him that it’s outside of her dreams too. Times in school where the shadows don’t seem to be right, or delay half second before they disappear into the light. Her shadow to be exact. A constant feeling of being watched, not maliciously, but intrigued. Picked apart like a puzzle, not of the picture but why the pieces work together.  

It didn’t start until the seashell earrings though, so her and Ursula talk and she sleep a night in her room. The teeth that scraped the back of her neck entering into that leviathan mouth return, a soft bite at her heels. When she yelps, they retract though, smooth scales moving over the mark like an apology. Vaguely, she can hear whispers, soft cooing and nothings, hands soothing over tired eyes and hands.  

Ursula monitors her, and confirms that she is falling into a state between meditation and true sleep, though who is visiting she can’t say. The magic is close to familiar but just different enough. It's not malicious though, no hurting her, but it definitely wants her attention.  

Professor Taka’s jaw is tight, but there is nothing he can do. The being in her bedroom mirror hasn’t visited though, and said nothing, so it can’t be too dangerous?  

Still, she finds an indent on her bed more often than not most mornings, the feeling of claws in her hair as he chases them away the only way he really can.  

Despite being a man that spent a lot of time in shadows, he doesn’t want her there.  

“Hey, Yuu,” Grim rubs against her side, “Do I need to grab the notes from somebody for Alchemy? I did the lab perfectly, as expected from the greatest mage, but you might need them for the mid-term or something.”  

Yuu chuckles, giving a soft pat between his ears. If she tries to full on pet them, he’ll purr and be all embarrassed. It’s a beastman and direbeast thing apparently, as Jack got far too flustered when she asked to see how he’s ears connected into his head.  

“Deuce made me a copy, and he’s have gotten much better since Riddle sat down and helped.” She turns the corner, catching a whiff of seasalt and cold, “I’m glad he’s getting the help he needs now.”  

As expected, Deuce has an extra copy he printed from the library, chest puffed and proud.  

“Surprise!” he says, “I made you a copy of and Ace’s notes, just in case!”  

“Don’t include me!” Ace chirps, cheeks slightly flushed.  

“Thank you, Deuce!” Yuu says, glancing over them. “But what do you mean surprise? Didn’t you tell me that you had earlier today?” 

Deuce tilts his head, eyes furrowed. “No, I didn’t. I just got the idea during class and rushed down to the library right after.”  

Yuu stops carding through the pages. She knew that Deuce was going to have copies of the notes. She knew it.  

“Ace, did you tell her!” Deuce turns, pointing a finger at him. Ace denies it, the two doing some light bickering, but Deuce pulls back just a little to see her pinched eyes.  

“Maybe I just assumed, since you two always pull through for me.” She doesn’t believe it. She’s saying it but she doesn’t believe it for two seconds. But Deuce smiles that boyish smile that’s far more genuine than anything, and it diverts it long enough for the conversation to move forward.  

When she visits Ursula that evening, she’s perplexed.  

“Are you scrying through your school mirrors?” she wonders out loud, rifling through ‘books’. Held together by coral and hardened seaweed to press the letters to the pages, but the principal was the same.  

“I didn’t think I had? I can’t remember...it didn’t feel like it.” Yuu pauses, twisting the cup in her hand.  

“Something to say my dear?” Ursula looks, raising a well sculpted eyebrow.  

“I...don’t know. Let me think about it?” 

The dreams had started again. Visions? These of the Sorcerer of the Sands, or at least bits and pieces of him in the story itself. Some homeless man named Aladdin seemed to be the center, but that was a theme of all their stories. Yuu always seemed to get them from the prospective that made them look the worst.  

She wants to talk to the Vizier herself. But Professor Taka would never allow it. He becomes more and more protective with each release, and Ursula isn’t even fully out yet, just a visit in the room.  

When Yuu returns from school, he stays close, pushing for sleep and rest but gives no explanations for why she is so tired. He feels more tight lipped than ever, just telling her to let the adults be adults for once. Mary doesn’t say either, pressing different teas into her hands and filling the quiet with old memories of her husband and son, times in court and her friends. It’s nice, but it doesn’t help.  

Next week, she decides, once winter break starts. If she can’t figure it out by then, she’ll find a way to sneak out and talk to the Sorcerer.  

[nospendtillbrooklyn]

Pausing a No Buy, Failing a No Buy: Belated. Because I suck at consistency

It’s been a minute since I updated. This is for a couple of reasons. The first, and most important is that I suck at consistency. I get distracted easily (I do have ADHD after all) but I also get busy with my life, with work and I run out of bandwidth to write about my experiences. Which I think is actually kind of a shame because I’ve had some really interesting experiences around the no-buy. The second reason for the lack of updates is that I attended an art show a couple of weeks ago and immediately upon coming home came down with covid. It sucked. I spent 7 days basically a zombie. Between the virus causing fatigue (like going let the dogs out to go potty and need a two hour nap fatigue) and the cold medicine induced fuege state I basically became one with my couch for a week. And the week after while I was testing negative, and didn’t have any of the worst symptoms I was still struggling with the fatigue.

But I’m recovered. And living my life (okay I am really just catching up on work after two weeks of covid related crud.) So let’s talk about the No Buy.

Originally when I set out to do my No Buy, it was the beginning of August. I set the original intention to be two weeks. Just to see if I could really do that. As I dove in, after a week I extended it to September 21st. I chose that date because it was roughly 6 weeks from the official start of my No Buy, and because it was during a trip surrounding my exhibition at the art festival. And I love me a gift shop, y’all. So I knew that would pose a challenge of different kinds for me. So I wanted the option to be done, and not beat myself up if I bought some souvenirs. As my No Buy progressed I realized I wanted to extend it till December, December 31st specifically. So I made some choices.

The first was that on September 21st I paused the No Buy. I was in a beautiful, incredible place and I was so tempted and struggling with Not Buying Things. Especially since the town I was in is almost entirely supported by summer tourism, which was coming to a close. So I compromised. I paused the No Buy as that was my original end date. What I found was that I did not want to buy all the gimmicky teeshirts and things in the past I might have been tempted by. My brain was recognizing, acknowledging that I have plenty of clothes (I am by no means a clothes addict, but I have plenty of clothes and could stand to have a few less… especially tee shirts.) But what I did buy was stickers, and post cards to put into my scrapbook journal as a means to document my experiences. I bought a beautiful artistic map print of the absolutely stunning wilderness that surrounded this quaint little mountain town. And one bandanna that had a beautiful print. All of which I think would constitute a failure for my No Buy, which was why I paused it.

Did I need to? I am not sure I did. I think I might have been okay not buying the things I did. I didn’t -have- to buy them, I had no real genuine need of them. But they were fun, cool and I collect stickers to put into my scrapbook journal and onto water bottles etc. I think my No Buy might be more authentic had I not paused it. But I felt so proud of myself that how I spent money that weekend was almost exclusively on food (required because I was staying in a hotel so there was no cooking option.) I did not buy anything for my service dog (look his collection of collars is extensive, I buy a lot of things for him… that he does not need.) I did not buy any fun tee shirts. I didn’t spend frivolously on expensive meals, mostly because I would purchase a lunch, eat half and take the rest back to my hotel to heat up later. I toured the little shops of the town, and I saw some art, and things that I really liked and would genuinely have enjoyed in my home… but I recognized they weren’t things I needed in my home. I have more art then can fit on the walls of my small house. I have more books and  tchotchkes then can fit on the bookshelves I have. (One of the many reasons books are expressly forbidden in my No Buy my TBR is impressively stacked.) Something has definitely changed with in my brain about shopping. But I am not perfect.

I did Fail. I booked a photosession for myself and my horse. I have almost no photos of the two of us together. I’ve recently lost 30 pounds and don’t have any good headshots for my business site. I thought this was a good opportunity to congratulate myself on the weight-loss, and get some decent photos. But I realized about an hour after I booked the session; this was not a need. I don’t HAVE to do this. There is no dire pressing need that couldn’t wait till next spring after the No Buy is scheduled to be finished (more on this later.) I confessed this failure to my accountability buddy (who is not my partner, though my partner is also part of my accountability.) And I felt bad about it for quite a while. I could have canceled it and forfeit the deposit. But that didn’t seem the right thing to do either. So I told my partner I would write about this failure, and what happened during and how my brain simply did not recognize it was a failure until after the fact.

The photographer had placed an add, I follow them because they happen to live on the property where I board my horse. They help out around the barn, and her work is honestly beautiful. It has a very modern western flare, and she is always taking photos of the boarders and their horses. She was advertising mini sessions on site. And I thought “man I’d love some photos of me and Horse.” (His name is not ‘Horse’ though it would be funny if it was, but this is a place anonymity and my horse’s name is fairly recognizable to any one who knows me, or of me.) Next thing I knew I had paid a deposit. I wasn’t even aware of it until it was over. And it took my partner pointing out ‘did this break your No Buy?” for me to even realize: yes, yes it did.

Immediately I felt sick. What the hell happened? How did I simply skip out on recognizing this behavior as a violation of the No Buy? How did I just make this decision and not think twice about it? I spiraled through the dark thoughts of this invalidating the entire project. I swam in dark waters of beating myself up, and kicking my mental ass. Raking my psyche over the coals of ‘ you are a failure!’ My heart raced and racked my brain to figure out HOW I let this happen.

The reality is that the reason I made this choice was because one of the things I have done through out myself is ‘treat myself.’ I treat myself when I am feeling good, and when I am feeling bad. Shopping was used as a means to measure ‘rewarding myself’ for things, or making myself feel better. Now this is a learned behavior, both of my partners have throughout my life done this for their children and themselves. It’s a behavior that was modeled to me very young from my grandmother(s) as well. So I come by it honestly. But I need to break this cycle. This is the part of my No Buy that is going to be hardest, because what I bought wasn’t a material good (which I clearly have already gotten much more adapt at avoiding) I did not connect that the behavior was the same at it’s core. That ‘treating myself’ is going to be the biggest thing I have to unlearn in my journey to under consumption, environmental conscious consumption and just having Less Stuff.

So what did I do? I’ve kept the appointment. Because I did not want to forfeit the deposit. Because the photos will have use and purpose in my life and my career. But I also added to my mental checklist about reasons I am spending money. And I went back and redoubled my consumption of books and online content (y’all youtube is free and invaluable to help reprogram your brain, also podcasts are free) that helps me stay in the head space of Not Buying Stuff. I don’t know that I will post the photos here. Annonymity is important to me in this space, at this moment.

Things like this are valuable lessons in a No Buy journey. Because things like this are where you do learn what triggers your spending, and what you need to do to consciously reprogram your brain to avoid these things effecting your wallet. Is it a lesson I needed? I don’t want to say yes and have it feel like I’m justifying what I did. But the truth is, I am not sure I would have realized that trigger point any other way. I was genuinely unaware of how I was failing my No Buy in the moments where I signed up for this photoshoot. It was entirely blocked in my mind and it was only later, with an outside perspective, that I recognized what really transpired in that transaction. I can be more mindful going forward, something I am not sure I would have really recognized with out that failure. It’s not justifiable, and I owe it to this blog and the honor of my No Buy to be truthful in confessing how I failed. But hopefully the lesson I’ve taken away it will serve me going forward.

And forward I shall go. Right now the No Buy is scheduled to end December 31st. But I have already discussed with my partner extending it to a full year, so August 2025 would be the end. They have very wisely pointed out I should focus on getting to the end of this year first (I am very prone to “if a little is good, a lot is going to be great…” right up into injury and catastrophe.) But the longer this goes on, the more I want to enter a lifestyle that emphasizes the principals of a No Buy. I want to simply LIVE this way. That when I do purchase something non-essential it’s conscious, it’s intentional and it serves me and not serves just buying something. I want to live this way because it’s better for the Earth and our struggling environment. I want to live this way because I want to someday own land for my horse, and to be a farmer again (I grew up on a horse farm.) I want to live this way because my partner and I want to live in a 500sq foot home with out a life burdened by Things. So while officially this No Buy will end December 31st. I think it’s going to end up being extended again. And from there? Maybe I can simply just finally change my behavior to be a conscious consumer of very little things. I want to live this way because my rig has 202,000+ miles on it and will not live forever, and a car payment is going to make a giant impact on my budget.

And maybe as time goes on I can get more consistent with this blog. And I can delve deeper into my family’s pattern of Treat Yo’Self shopping that has clearly informed my own behavior. And I can share ways I am trying to consume less, and impact the environment in more positive ways.

I hope if you’re here, if you’re reading this, you stick around. You find value in my self reflection and the weird, inconsistent thoughts on what I am trying to do. If not, that’s okay. Because I’m going to keep at it, even if I struggle with it.

Enjoy a cellphone snapshot of the place I was in for my art show.

[rosenallies]

Kind of specific but can you write some more Marcia angst [sashnarcia] please

I have this theory that fic writers and readers all have like one or two specific characters they write or read that they wanna project all their angsty or sad feelings on<3 and this request just reminded me of that theory <3 and also I was rlly struggling to figure out what to write for this so I googled angst prompt ideas and this was one of the suggestions and I genuinely could not think of anything better :/

——

“Marcia, honey-“ Sasha cooed sympathetically, placing a gentle hand on their shoulder, “I think it’s time to go.”

Tears in their eyes, Marcia shook their head, burying their fingers in her kitty’s soft fur one last time. “I-I’m not ready to let him go,” they sniffed, the florescent lights of the veterinarian’s office combined with the heavy tears they’d been crying nearly the whole day in anticipation for their appointment making their head throb.

Anetra came up behind them, taking their other side and wrapping her arms around them. “I’m gonna miss him too, but you gave him such a good life, baby, he was old and sick. It was time.”

Marcia nodded, “I know. It wouldn’t be fair to keep making him suffer,” they paused, choked up, “I’m just still so sad.”

While all three of them grew to love Marcia’s little cat, Sasha and Anetra’s sadness at the loss of the cat was nothing compared to Marcia who had confided in them many times that their cat was their only friend throughout their last years of high school and all throughout college and their early adulthood.

Sasha pet Marcia’s hair back tenderly, tucking some behind their ear. “It’s okay to be sad about it, my love, he’s probably just as sad to leave you.”

“He knows I’ll miss him,” they said quietly, taking a shaky breath and grabbing onto their partner’s hands, “I guess I’m ready to go.”

Kissing their cheek, Anetra squeezed their hand. “It’ll be okay sooner than you know it,” she assured them.

They smiled a tight lipped smile. “It will be because I have you two to help me through it.”

“We’re here for you, no matter what,” Sasha said softly, “do you want to say goodbye one last time and then we’ll go?”

Sasha and Anetra watched with pangs of pain in their chests as Marcia whispered their final goodbyes to their beloved pet. When they finished, they breathed deeply and extended their hands to their partners to take, which they gladly did.

“I’m very proud of you, darling. I know how hard that must’ve been,” Sasha said as they left the vet’s office after filling out the last bit of paperwork.

Marcia shrugged. “I’m just glad he’s not sick and hurting anymore. He was my best friend for over half my life.”

“I’m sure he felt the same,” Anetra replied, lovingly rubbing their arm, “I had all those pictures you sent me printed at the store, are you ready to go get them and we can make that collage we talked about when we get home, or are you not quite ready?”

They nodded, a small smile spreading across their lips, it was all they could muster but it was genuine. “I’d like that.”

[themusingsofafanficwriter]

The True Meaning of Family - Chapter 7

Summary: A found family Supernatural AU. Ophelia Humphries is an English 19-year-old who is just trying to finish her online history degree when she receives a letter from two brothers she never knew she had.

A/N: Chapter 7 is here! Sorry for the little break, life got in the way. If you want to keep more up to date, I'd suggest heading over to AO3. If you didn't see the previous chapters, you can find the master list here. Let me know what you guys think!

T/W: Death of both adults and children.

Dean was right, this seemed like a simple haunting.

A 53-year-old woman went missing, and then another, and then another.

“Did anything happen in this town?” Ophelia asked Sam eventually.

“Uhhh not much can happen in a town the size of Reeds Spring, Missouri. So if we look through old records, we might find something that stands out.” Sam said with a smile.

Hours passed.

Ophelia made lunch. Then she made dinner. Then she went and found a sweet treat. Soon enough it was almost midnight when Sam quickly turned his laptop around to face her.

“A girl went missing… 40 years ago.” He said slowly enough so Ophelia could connect the dots herself.

“These women would have been 13? Did they know the girl that went missing?” There was a slight tone of excitement in her voice. “Do we know what happened to the girl?”

Sam’s face was soft and nurturing, like a teacher who was proud of a student.

“Okay, slow down, we’ve not solved it yet. If I give you the girl’s name, can you look at any records about her and I’ll work the angle that these women may have known her.”

He paused as he turned the laptop back to face him and skimmed the rest of the article.

“Okay, it looks like her name is Ruby Evans and yeah, she was 13 when she went missing after not making it home from a friend’s party. They found her body 13 days later near where she went missing.”

“Does it say who her friend was?”

“Yeah, and….” Sam paused as he checked the recent missing women articles. “The friend whose party it was, Amanda-Rose Jameson, was the first woman who went missing.”

“Okay, so the ghost is 100% Ruby then?”

“Most likely. I’ll go let Dean know that we’ve found the ghost’s details. Do we know if she was buried or cremated?”

“Does it matter?”

“Oh big time.” Sam paused slightly before explaining. “If she has been buried then we can go find her grave, dig it up, burn her bones and then that usually does it. If she has already been cremated then we have to find any small mementos that she could still be tied to like baby teeth or a locket of hair.”

“Gross.” Was all Ophelia could muster to say.

Sam just nodded in response. Ophelia scanned the old newspaper obituary.

“Looks like her parents just buried her in the local cemetery. They asked people to come wearing purple as it was her favourite colour… How sweet!”

A slight wave of sadness crept into her chest as she pictured a family grieving the loss of their child

“That's definitely a start. Nice work ‘Phelia, I'll talk to Dean and we can get Ruby to the other side soon.”

Then the waiting began.

Her brothers left early that next morning, hoping that they could dig up Ruby’s bones and get back within the day.

When they weren't back by midnight that night, Ophelia began to worry.

‘I’m sure everything is fine. They do this all the time, it is quite literally their job.’ She thought to herself. But the waiting and not knowing was excruciating.

She had done everything she could to keep busy.

Cleaned the kitchen, bathrooms and other communal areas. Wrote a paper, started writing another for university, and attended a meeting with her personal tutor.

“Oh, a new background Ophelia? Have you moved again?” Her tutor asked from her Zoom window.

Dr Ahn, a plump British-Korean woman with a speciality in Asian mythology and a love of loud printed clothing, seemed genuinely concerned for all of the people under her tutelage. She had made it known to Ophelia over the last term that she always could talk to her about Ophelia’s home life.

The Docter cocked her head prompting Ophelia’s reply.

“Yeah… I have. Umm, some family from my dad’s side reached out and I’m now living with them.” She said cautiously.

“Oh well, that’s good!” Dr Ahn replied with enthusiasm. “And how are your studies?”

Yet, after all of that, Ophelia hadn’t heard from Sam or Dean since they had arrived at Ruby Evans' parents home.

Not knowing what else to do, she reached out to Cas.

A whoosh of wings and the angel was standing in the doorway of the library.

“Is everything okay Ophelia?” He asked.

“Uhh.” She started. Not wanting to make a big deal out of nothing.

“I can read your mind if you’re unsure how to tell me.”

“Oh no. It’s okay.” She took a deep breath. “Have you heard from Sam or Dean…?”

“They have not reached out to me”

“Is that normal?”

“Quite normal.” The angel had a quizzical tone. “Are you okay Ophelia?”

“Oh yeah, I’m sooo fine.” She said, trying to convince herself.

“I can tell when you are lying, even when you try to cover it with sarcasm.” Cas said as he crossed the room towards the couch Ophelia was sitting on.

“Right, yeah.” She sighed. “I guess I was expecting more updates? They said they’d be home by now and I’m trying to be so chill about it.” Ophelia’s head was in her hands, hiding her face and the cringing that she was now experiencing.

“That is understandable.” The angel replied as he sat next to her. “Would you like me to check in with your brothers?”

“That seems weird. Like they are obviously good at this and I know nothing about any of this.” Ophelia gestured to the bunker around them.

After a long pause, Cas placed his hand on Ophelia’s back and gently rubbed in small circles. Ophelia had not realised how anxious she was about this until the small kind gesture of Cas.

“They are not used to having someone that would want them to check in with.”

“I suppose you’re right.” She said with a sigh.

“You should eat and get sleep. They will be home soon.” Cas said finally as he stood.

Taken aback by his abruptness, Ophelia just blinked in response. Another second passed and when she opened her eyes again, the angel was gone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hello.”

“Castiel! What are you doing here?” Sam asked with a start.

Sam was sitting on a single bed in a motel, papers strewn around him and his laptop propped up on a stack of books.

“I am here about Ophelia.” He replied.

“Is she okay?” Dean asked cautiously as he came out of the bathroom.

“Have either of you contacted her?”

The brothers glanced at each other. “No, why? Is something wrong?” Sam questioned.

Cas sat on the second single bed and studied the two men.

“She, in her words, is trying to be ‘sooo fine’ and ‘so chill about it’.” Castiel said, mimicking Ophelia’s likeness. “But she is simply worried about you both.” “Oh. Is that it? She’s worried about us?” Sam questioned further.

“Yes.”

“She knows we know what we are doing right?” Dean replied.

“Yes.” Was all Cas responded again.

“I’m confused.” Dean stated.

“Oh shoot, is that the time?” Sam said with a start as he checked his phone. “We told her we would be home hours ago, Dean.”

“Right but she knows that this sort of thing takes time. And… and cases can evolve and become more complicated right? Like, she knows that?” Dean gestured to the papers.

Sam looked guilty. “How would she know that Dean?” he replied.

A flash of guilt crossed Dean’s face too. “I’ll call her.” He replied.

“It is best that you do not mention that I told you about this. Remember she is trying to be ‘so chill about it’.” Castiel once again mimicked the Winchester daughter.

Ophelia had not been asleep long when her phone rang.

Dean’s name flashed across the screen. She sat up as she clicked the answer button.

“Hey kiddo, sorry for not getting in touch earlier. The Ruby case took a little bit of a turn.”

‘Remember, you’re so chill.’ Ran through Ophelia’s mind. “Oh, no worries!” She said in as chipper tone as she could. “Uhh, how is it going?”

“Ahh well, you know how these things go.”

“Dean?”

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“I quite literally have no idea how these things go.”

“Oh, yeah right.”

The phone went silent for a moment.

“Well, we found her grave, dug it up and lit it on fire.” Dean started explaining the case. “We thought that would be it but another one of the women who was at that party went missing.”

Ophelia nodded absent-mindedly as Dean continued.

“So, probably some baby teeth or something kicking about at her parents' places, we thought.”

“So we were wrong about it being Ruby? Ophelia asked.

“Oh no it’s definitely her, kiddo, you and Sam did solid work.” Relief filled Ophelia.

“We’re thinking it’s an object that’s keeping her here. We saw her bedroom, her mom has kept it as a shrine to Ruby. It could be anything in there.” Dean explained.

“Did she have a childhood toy she loved? Or maybe a diary?” Ophelia asked as she looked around her new room that was already filled with mementos of her childhood. “This is a teenager, not a young child, ‘Phelia.” Dean replied softly.

“I am almost 20 years old and you have seen my room both here and at my mum’s place.”

“Point taken, but this is a shrine to her, where would you start, you know, as a teen girl and all that.” Dean said with a sigh.

Ophelia slouched back into bed, racking her brain for what she would love so much as a young teen that her spirit could attach itself to.

“What was Ruby like? A girly girl or more masculine or what?”

“She liked lots of things, horses mainly by the look of it.” Dean said.

“Did she compete?”

Dean looked over at Sam and repeated their sister’s question, there was a pause but eventually, Sam nodded.

“Look for her first big win ribbon or trophy.” Ophelia said. “I danced as a kid and the way I was obsessed with winning those medals and for a while I slept with my first place medal on my bedside table every night.”

“That’s a great place to start. I’ll let you get some sleep. Thanks, kiddo.” Dean said.

“Yeah, no worries Dean.”

“Oh and kiddo, We really are sorry for not calling earlier.” Dean replied with a genuine tone.

“It’s really not a problem, Dean. Don’t worry about it.” Ophelia kept her voice even as she picked at a hangnail on her thumb.

The phone went dead and she was alone once again. Eventually, Ophelia fell back asleep and hours passed.

She didn’t hear when, almost 10 hours later, Sam and Dean re-entered the Bunker and started debriefing with Cas.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that morning, Dean walked over to Ophelia’s room and gently knocked.

A groggy Ophelia woke to Dean pushing the door to her room open and poking his head around it.

“Can I come in?”

She hummed a reply and gestured for him to sit on the end of her bed. She flattened her curls as Dean made his way across the room.

“Your thinking was right, Ruby’s spirit was tied to a first-place dressage medal she had won earlier that year.”

“Oh, nice.” Ophelia finally said. “Did you find those women?”

“We found one of them alive.” Dean paused. “Ruby had killed the others by the time we got there.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Why did she do it?” Ophelia finally asked.

“Well, they killed her.”

“Wait? Really?”

“Yeah, those girls weren’t her friends. They only invited her to that party to make fun of her and, I don’t know kiddo, they ended up killing her.”

The siblings were silent.

“So this was revenge?” She said.

“Yeah. Those women are the real evil if you ask me.” Dean said casually.

“I suppose they are.”

“Why don’t you come sit with us, ‘Phelia.” Dea said as he stood.

She nodded and threw back her covers. Her bright PJs instantly brought a smile to Dean’s face.

The morning was filled with the brothers recounting the final fight with Ruby’s spirit and similar fights that they had had, as well as the promise that they would be better at keeping her in the loop.

“You could always take me with you. Not on the hunt as such but, like, I could stay in the hotel or wherever you are staying and just do research or my uni work… or whatever.”

The two brothers looked at each other.

“Yeah, maybe, kiddo.” Dean said finally. The hesitation was clear in his voice.

“It could be helpful Dean.” Sam said finally.

“Okay, if you two are going to be like this, I want you,” He pointed at Ophelia, “trained in how to fire a gun and basic hand-to-hand combat before we take you out of this bunker and to the location of a case.

Sam and Ophelia looked at each other in astonishment, not believing how easy that had been.

“And I will determine when you’re ready.” Dean quickly added.

There it was, the caveat that made his relenting make sense, but at least they had made progress.

[vtforpedro]

update - tw in tags please read

I’ve been meaning to make a life/health/disability update the last week or so but those things don’t really matter to me right now. My cat Isis, my soulmate if ever there was one, died in my arms on Thursday morning at 10:32 AM. It happened after I heard a long, mournful yell/groan from her at 10:25 AM. She was fine before, then dead in my arms in seven minutes. 11 years and 1 month old. No warning, no lead up. To say I am devastated is an understatement. I genuinely don’t know how to live without my soulmate. She took half of me with her and my half, well... it’s circling the drain and has been for years. It’s why I’ve always said my cats and my mom are the only reasons I don’t unalive myself. My relationship with my mom is ruined and she won’t do family therapy, and my soulmate is gone. I love all of my pets the same, give them the same love, but there is the once in a lifetime or very rare animal in a long line of them who is just different and that was Isis. Tomorrow will be my third morning waking up and not seeing her come to greet me. She did that on the day she passed but I hung out in bed too long so she went to the bedroom. 10-12 minutes later and as I was getting up, I heard her cry. After attempting CPR, I knew the second she died and the ER vet’s front desk told me sometimes they choose when to go as I wailed with agony. She didn’t fucking choose this. She’d choose to be home if she could. Warm and loved. Not fucking that. I held her in my arms for 40 minutes. Then I held her on her favorite blanket on my lap for almost two hours. We wrapped her in another favorite blanket when we took her to the vet. We spoke with her vet, who is quite familiar with her, and he said it was likely a blood clot or sudden heart issue from what I described. Nothing to be done and no way I could have saved her. She felt pain and fear, but for a brief time she was aware that I was with her and I hope she was comforted by my presence in some way. I’m getting her cremains and a paw print back and one day I’d like to commission art of her. Right now, all I can think about is that I had not yet fully healed from the LP over a year ago so I could sit on the couch and she would lay on my chest and purr for an hour before falling asleep. What healing she’s given me for 10 years. Through some of the lowest points of my life, she has kept me going. I adopted her on May 5th, 2013. I lost her on May 18th, 2023. She was 11 going on kitten. Life is cruel and unfair. I wouldn’t wish going through those seven minutes of agony on anyone and I would turn back the clock to save her from the pain and fear, as she felt them both acutely. Life is so terrible to such innocent beings who have unconditional and insane amounts of love to give, as Isis did to anyone and everyone she knew longer than a day. Everyone always told me how sweet she was. They were always so shocked at how loud her purr was, the very reason I adopted her. I cannot believe I am never going to hear it or feel it again. I don’t want to believe it. She did everything with me and my morning routines are excruciating right now because she isn’t there. She went on most bathroom trips with me, we chatted up a storm every day, she laid in her designated second computer chair at my side, always always always laid at my side on the recliner or couch, and purred purred purred. Isis was the funniest, sweetest, most talkative, comforting, attention-hogging, purring machine. She was orange and proud of it. An instigating little shit and also proud of it. She is with me and I am with her, I hope. I’m still coming down from the shock of what happened but I don’t think this heavy grief will go away for a long time. The apartment has gotten too quiet and I’m lonelier than ever. Lilly is my lovebug and honey bun and she is looking for Isis all the time. Not because they were friends, but Isis did not let her have a moment’s peace! lol But watching her look for her is still incredibly painful. She was fully aware something was happening to Isis, as I had to push her away twice during those seven minutes, but not the concept of death certainly. Still, it’s only been 2.5 days and Lilly is becoming more anxious and restless. She spent today out in the living room with me. Almost all day. She is queen of the Queen Bed Kingdom and the bedroom is her territory (she and Isis had many words about it), so it was really unusual. Isis never really let her put her guard down out here and I hope she starts to. She will stop looking for Isis much sooner than I will. I see her everywhere. I feel her against my leg. I hear her. I feel the touch of her soft fur, of her headbutts, her cold nose as she always tries to lick my chin and cheeks and forehead and nose. I feel as if I could simply say Isis and she’d brrp and be here again. I don’t want to adopt another cat. I want to hang on for Lilly if I can. I want Isis with me again, even if it’s only her name on an urn and the fleeting touch of her paw in clay. But how I long to go back and experience adopting her and having her for another decade at my side. Maybe she’ll stop by my dreams and they’ll be kind ones instead. ☀️

[simplyreveries]

Congrats on the 500 followers I love your stuff so its well deserved!!! If I could please have a matchup id be over the moon! 🌺

My pronouns are She/Her. Im short, chubby, and adorable! I have fluffy curly hair, glasses, and I love wearing dresses and skirts or cozy sweaters. I usually wear bright colors or vibrant patterns a-la miss frizzle think pink skirt with grapefruit print or dress with cacti/dinosaurs but then I pair it with cute combat boots and a leather jacket.

My hobbies are baking and video games. But I also love taking walks, gardening (born and raised farm girl), going to museums, and learning new cool facts to add to my fact hoard. Basically I will watch documentaries for fun usually while also baking brownies.

Im an ambivert and flip flop from leave me alone in my bed nest to recharge to going up to strangers to tell them I love there makeup or hair. I try hard to be a kind genuine person who brings joy into the world but admittedly I have a petty ice queen side to me, like it takes a LOT to piss me off as im very patient and forgiving (messing with my loved ones is a fast track tho) but once I’m there I will take them down and they wont see it coming as I can be quite the sneaky ‘manipulative’ type. I do use my evil powers for good sometimes like helping 3 couples meet/confess.

I’m very loyal, but take a while to trust others and open up. Once someone has gained my trust and friendship I am very loving and affectionate this includes cuddles, massages if permitted and hugs. My love languages are Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation, so friends can expect random bombardments of genuine compliments or if they mentioned something they wanted / needed done consider it taken care of.

Despite all this and often being called the ‘mature one’ or ‘the dependable one’ by my friends I am actually very shy and easily flustered, I cant handle compliments of flirting without combusting. I will go from serious and put together handling things like a boss to squeaking and completely falling apart if someone says something really nice to me. I cant handle getting gifts either.

Uhh idk how to finish this so fun fact time I guess:

Did you know that certain chicken breeds can lay naturally occurring blue eggs? I raised several and those chickens are often very independent compared to other breeds. They still like getting hugs and pets tho! Also the eggs taste mostly the same but the yolk has more flavor.

i match you with trey clover!!

you two give me unintentional couple that are the parents in a friend group? whenever there's some trouble going on, especially within heartslabyul you two are someone like deuce usually comes to for advice. i'd imagine you two would always be baking with each other-- he'd be in love with someone who enjoys it as much as he does. only better for the dorm because that means twice the amounts of sweets obviously...

with what trey does in the science club, he does have a knack for growing plants in the school's botanical garden. as he also uses it to grow his own fruits and such for baking. he'd gladly show you what he's doing, he is particularly proud of his strawberries for tarts hehe.

it's funny because though trey thinks the world of you-- giving any kind of romantic compliments is so difficult for him. i mean, he's canonically bad at flirting. he can't help but feel bashful whenever you yourself seemingly shower him with praise. he tends to show his affection through acts of service like you, he wants to be someone that actively goes out their way and does something for you to brighten your day. trey wants to be reliable to you, because he's such a mess bringing it into words, he shows you all the time.

trey is affectionate but around others its very discreetly, hand on your back, playing with your hair, he likes holding your hand, he'd urb his thumb over the back of it too.

[winderlylandchime]

I literally went to exit tumblr and then remembered that I didn’t send the most important update:

Per my uncles and his husbands request (yes, the 63 year old men have officially joined in on the fun but they’re also acting as if they know nothing because of our mom) i made my brother (another) shirt to help with the big reveal and hopefully help with making him less angry. It has a picture of Britin on it, from one of their promo pictures. It’s the one with Randy in a white shirt and he’s hanging over Gale’s shoulder and they’re holding hands (it’s the only one all three of us agreed he’d like the most). And above the photo it says: ‘2023 gave me: a motorcycle crash, a broken wrist, and an unhealthy obsession with these two:’ My uncle is the one who came up with it and he was very proud of himself.

btw if anyone was wondering, it was a bitch to find a place to print shirts and then when i finally did, due to copyright they don’t do celebrities. So idk how those Queens did it. And i was telling my boss that and she looks at me and goes ‘oh my nephew prints shirts, i could ask him for a favor’ and he came through. I am hoping the shirt will make him less angry at me even though I genuinely don’t think he will be upset. He already found out that I kept our cousins updated and he didn’t mind it so we shall see.

And as for how the reveal will go, my uncles and I decided to just keep it simple and not beat around the bush. So the shirt will be wrapped in a box and tucked into it will be a note that just says ‘remember how you said you want an audience to discuss the show because I wasn’t enough? Well what if I told you that there is a group of people on Tumblr who kept up with your opinions and actually for some strange reason liked them and you? Because in that case: surpriseeeee’ and then I’m just gonna give him my phone with your blog pulled up (which btw bless your heart for tagging my questions omg). One of my uncles had a bright idea to wrap MY phone with your blog pulled up and the other one thought I could print out every message and just make it a book for him…I’ve never felt younger than during that conversation. So this is the best it’s gonna get. I will report back for his reaction. That is if he doesn’t strangle me first.

I LOVE EVERY DETAIL ABOUT THIS. YOUR FAMILY IS THE BEST!

I’m not going to say much because I know I have the message with reveal waiting for us (I haven’t read it to keep it as a sweet surprise for me and everyone).

I hope he likes the shirt… and the major surprise!

And I’m glad my obsessive tagging has helped ;)

[unaloquita]

Oh my god lalita u tried boba?? :0 i’m sorry cuz u didn’t like the tapioca pearls tho bejebdjehs they’re probably undercooked, they’re not supposed to be too chewy to the point it’s grueling to chew on i mean that would defeat the whole purpose of a boba drink, i suggest trying a different place maybe or making them at home! They’re quite easy to make and prepare but rolling the dough into balls takes ages X__X have you tried adding other types of toppings (?) on your boba? There’s coffee jelly and pandan jelly (i never tried it but it was an option i think) there’s also nata de coco :3 and popping pearls! Those are nice if you don’t mind them straight up bursting liquid into your mouth tjwheiwhe I remember choking when i first tried them lmaooo 😭 they’re good tho i always get the mango popping pearls!! Are there other flavors for the drinks in that boba place you went to? I usually get taro flavored milk tea or honeydew milk tea, i don’t prefer drinking regular milk tea cuz it can taste weird to me :P sometimes it’s too light sometimes too bitter it’s never just right so i just settle for the flavored options

KARMALITA!

Yes, I did try a boba milk tea. Under is the tea beverages page from the restaurant's paper printed menu. A few months ago, my mom took me to get sushi after a dental appointment I had. When we arrived at the site, I went ahead of my mom and entered the restaurant. As soon as I entered, I walked towards the middle-aged lady standing behind the cash register counter with my eyes locked on her. I stopped in my tracks on the tile floor. I stared. She stared back at me. Then I bursted into laughter. Then she laughed.

***

After I received my order of spider rolls, she handed me a menu. She told me, “You can keep it.” I said, “Thank you. I love you.” Then I walked out the store.

re (in response to): “have you tried adding other toppings (?) on your boba?”

I haven't tried yet! It's my first time buying one from a store. I would love to try egg pudding with the boba milk tea :B eggs come from chicken hen cloaca.

re (in response to): Are there other flavors for the drinks in that boba place you went to?

I took these photos while laying in bed :B yes, my mom is proud of me.

My order of a boba milk tea came with a lot of boba. I finished the tea before getting to the bubble/boba/tapioca pearls. I wanted to go with something basic (boba milk tea) because I get stressed looking at multiple options and unknown ingredients. Hmmn, black tea with milk mixed in and tapioca pearls; that's something that seems familiar. I genuinely liked the taste of the milk tea minus the boba. I would get it again and again and again.

[charlotte-of-wales]

H&M Documentary Review: Episode 5

(my commentary in italics)

- Meghan says she felt alone a lot during her childhood and always wanted a big family so when she was pregnant with Archie she was excited that she could give him that (through the Royal Family I mean). Claims she did everything she could to make the family like her and be proud of her.

- Videos of Sandringham 2018 and scarfgate lol

- Harry claims the palace wasn’t willing to protect Meghan and the media noticed that *insert all the times the palace defended her against negative stories and all the time royal reporters claim the palace asked them not to run certain stories*

- Meghan “I wasn’t just being thrown to the wolves, I was being fed to the wolves”. Does she not realize those dramatic and clearly rehearsed lines come across as anything but genuine?

- Meghan talks about Thomas Markle again. Says his interviews talking about the family after the wedding were embarassing to the family and that she reached out to “Her Majesty” asking for advice on what to do and eventually Elizabeth and Charles suggested that she write him a letter (has this been confirmed before, that it was their idea? I find it hard to grasp why they’d suggest something that could so easily be shared with the media like a letter but I digress)

- Meghan also implies the letter would be stolen if she sent it directly to her father so she sent it to her business manager in LA first. Claims the signature from whoever received the letter did not match her dad’s handwriting. 

- Harry and Meghan say they wanted to take legal action against the Mail for leaking the palace since the start but the Palace wouldn’t let them hence them searching for private lawyers

- Their lawyer claims she has seen evidence that the Palace briefed against Harry and Meghan to the media to suit other people’s agenda.......I’d love to see that evidence girl for a LAWYER to be making these claims without proof is rather crazy

- They are now saying Meghan was used as a scapegoat by the Palace to make negative stories about the other royals go away

- Videos of them (including lots of Archie) in Vancouver in the Russian oligarch’s mansion

- while in Canada, Harry claims he called Charles and suggested they move to Canada full time in order to still support the Commonwealth and the Queen.....but I thought the Commonwealth was the Empire 2.0?

- Meghan says the royal rota is based in London so they wouldn’t care about what they were doing.......ingenuity (not to use a worse word) at its finest

- She then says “you guys can be in the front pages of all the papers, you can have it exactly the way you want it. and we can just go about doing the work in the name of the Queen” by you guys I guess she mean the royals and we, her and H. This is lowkey shady but also royals need the papers to talk about them doing the work in the name of the Queen to get attention for their charities, which means the Sussexes would still need to have some sort of relationship with the media. Going around Vancouver visiting charities and being shush about defeats the whole purpose. 

- Harry: “if you want us to go and do things on behalf on the Queen. we’ll go and do it. And we’ll pay for it ourselves. We don’t want to be dependant on any taxpayer funding. You get us, and you’ll get us for free?” WITH WHAT MONEY ARE YOU PAYING FOR IT YOURSELVES??? Yall stayed at some random shady dude’s house in Vancoucer and used public security provided by Canada AKA TAXPAYER FUNDED. That would never work, unless they were doing something similiar to what they are doing now. Which is precisely why I’m assuming Queen Elizabeth II and Charles were not having this plan. 

- gosh the lack of braincells is crazy.....Harry now says they wanted to remove the public funding because it would take the media’s claim to printing stories on them go away. Not how it works love.

- Harry says the palace signed off on him and Meghan moving to South Africa but The Times leaked the news, so the plan was scrapped because it became public debate. (it would become public debate anyway when they announced it + it makes sense to release pieces of information like this to see what the public is thinking so the leak could have been a good thing but oh well)

- Interesting. Harry says that if their move to Canada didn’t work they were willing to let go of their Sussex titles.....why are you still using them then??

- Harry says the Queen wanted to see him and Meghan when they came back from Canada and told them she wasn’t busy. Right before they got to the airport, Harry was told he couldn’t see her because she was busy. He called her and she said she was told she’d be busy all week. The implication here obviously being that they tried to keep her away from him and, once again, he sounds quite angry when he says it. They keep trying to sell this narrative that Elizabeth was this naive innocent thing being used as a puppet by Charles and William and it’s sad. Plus.......Harry, buddy, she is literally THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND. She could very well be unexpectedly be busy. 

- Meghan: “his dad say put it (their plan to move to Canada) in writing. And he did, and just five days later it was on the front page of a newspaper. “ Harry openly said the palace leaked the news.

- Meghan *once again* talking about their wishes to keep supporting the Commonwealth and for the first time they talk about their role as President and VP of the Commonwealth’s Trust........when they were shitting on the existence of the Commonwealth two episodes ago. Got it. 

- Harry said that with their instagram statement announcing they were stepping down, he didn’t blindside the Queen and he would never do that because he has so much respect for her. Says these discussions went on for months and months. *sure did but were the Queen, Charles and William aware of your statement? Did they agree to the terms y’all decided? No, huh?

- Harry and Meghan were angry she wasn’t invited to the Sandringham Summit because she is “the mother, the wife and the target”. 

- Harry: “I went in with the same proposal that we already made publicly”. HOW DO YOU NOT SEE WHATS WRONG WITH THAT STATEMENT???? HOW IS THIS NOT BLINDSIDING THE ROYALS????

- Harry complains about not being allowed to do the half in/half out thing. In his own words, to be able to have their own jobs while also working to support the Queen. 

- whoop there it is, the bit about William. King behavior (wish someone recorded the yelling bits, for science)

- gosh I’m bored how am I only half way through

- interestingly enough....Harry defends the Queen by saying her main goal was to protect the institution and that’s what she was taught. Says she will follow whatever advice she’s giving regarding the Sussexes as if this woman doesn’t have a working brain of her own and hasn’t been doing this job for decades. 

- the bs Harry is saying about the family is so much worse than I thought god

- “I think, from their perspective, they had to believe that it was more about us, and maybe the issues that we had, as opposed to THEIR PARTNER, the media, and themselves, and that relationship that was causing so much pain to us” calling the media the royal family’s partner is WILD

- Harry says one of the saddest parts in all of this is the break of his bond with William and William has chosen the institution’s side. 

- THE HYPOCRISY OF THIS MAN, complaining about William putting out a joint statement with Harry’s name saying that William did not bully him out of the family because he never agreed on it WHEN HE RELEASED A STATEMENT ON INSTAGRAM ANNOUNCING HE WAS STEEPING DOWN FROM THE FAMILY THAT THEY NEVER AGREED ON 

- “in four hours they were happy to lie to protect my brother and yet, for three years, they were never willing to tell the truth to protect us” my brother in Christ YES THEY DID MANY TIMES (also William is literally the heir????)

- the way they edited this doc made this whole thing seem so petty because it’s almost like Harry saw the palace protecting his brother and said “yeah?” and left in retaliation like a child

- oh my god, the white man got tired of lecturing us on racist and started us on misogyny. Go on, king, keep telling us about things you have 0 knowledge on x

- gosh all these two do is sit around in other people’s homes

- talking about bots and online hate

- this one woman saying that by targetting “symbols of social justice” it tells other people to stand down???? girl

- footage of them meditating and crying over this audio of someone telling them they are not who the media says they are I’m uncomfy

- lots and lots and lots of pictures of them at Frogmore Cottage during their farewell tour and why even bring a professional photographer along??? so odd?

- Meghan “until that last week in the UK I rarely wore color  why are we still talking about this yes you did

- they say they would come home after engagements in the farewell tour and think they could do this forever. They both say they miss the British public but not the press.

- Meghan says on the plane back from the farewell tour, a crew member kneeled next to her seat and said “I appreciate everything you did for our country”. She says it was the first time someone noticed the sacrifice she made. Meghan says she tried so hard but it still wasn’t good enough and she still didn’t fit in.

- oh yikes pictures of the Waleses’ Carribean tour, including the fence pictures

- Harry: “anyone inside that system, whether it’s my family, whether it’s staff, whether it’s PR, whoever it is, have already miss an enormous oppurtunity with my wife and how far that would go globally” I see Harry missed the lesson on tokenism when he was taking his ‘white savior and racism 101′ crash course. That’s what you’re describing here, buddy, to use a woman of color to prove a point. 

- by the way, they’re talking again about the disconnect between most people in the Commonwealth (mainly black and brown people) and the Royal Family. They talked about Barbados and how many countries should follow etc. (again I can’t miss the irony in H&M getting these clearly anti-monarchist to talk in their docs because the only reason they even got a doc or a platform in the first place was because of the family)

- “their departure felt like the death of a dream” the dramatics goshhhh

- Harry complaining about the palace removing their security but.....I thought you didn’t want to live on taxpayer funding? I thought you could pay for everything yourself? What’s the issue bud?

- episode ends with them talking about covid, and fears of the border being closed which led them to LA.

They somehow manage to make this more boring and yet more frustrating with each episode? Anyway can’t wait to get this over with lol

[communityinclusion]

Crocker Fellow Explores How Disability Impacts Sibling Relationships

A new zine from 2021 Allen C. Crocker Family Fellowship recipient Jess Mendes explores the experiences of adult siblings of individuals with physical, intellectual, behavioral and/or developmental disabilities, bringing together perspectives and providing resources for people living at the intersection of multiple marginalized identities.

To create Same-Same But Different, Mendes asked individuals to use personal essays and visual multimedia to unpack how disabling attitudes, environments, and systems impact their sibling relationships.

In addition to being a physical zine, Same-Same But Different is also a digital flipbook, and an accessible PDF version is also available. The title of the zine comes from an article published in Impact by Alison Whyte, executive director of the Disabilities Council in Washington, D.C., where she acknowledges that 90% of research on siblings affected by disabilities is white, relatively middle class, and female.

Mendes said the idea of creating the zine came from a place of survival and watching her brother’s life almost come to a complete stop when he turned 22 and “aged out” of educational programs supported by the school system during the COVID-19 pandemic. As she called different organizations to figure out what to do and failed to get any answers, Mendes found herself wishing for something she could connect with as a visually oriented person.

“I’m proud of myself for having an idea and executing it,” Mendes said. “But beyond that, I hope this genuinely serves as a reference point so more families, creatives, storytellers, more people understand that they’re not alone. They can also use their creativity to share resources and not feel lost.”

To secure contributors’ participation, Mendes had a list of ideas and themes that she wanted to explore, such as financial planning, religion and faith, or sex, and she let contributors pick the topic that resonated most with them.

Initially, Mendes envisioned a more photo-based project, but because the pandemic made it riskier to be in close physical contact with people, she pivoted toward multimedia instead.

“And in turn, that was more rewarding, because it allowed everyone more time to be reflective of what they wanted to say and how they wanted to represent their family,” Mendes said.

It was also important to Mendes that the zine’s closing pages include resources for caregivers, advocates, and small businesses to offer community guidance and help everyone understand that as challenging as circumstances can be, they are not alone.

“For family members, I hope we find community and not feel so isolated,” Mendes said. “And for anyone else, I hope they ask themselves, how can I contribute to making my environment more inclusive so that it eases everyone’s participation in the world.”

Since the zine was published, it has been featured on several platforms, including zine festivals nationwide. Mendes presented it during Boston Design Week at the nonprofit where she works, the Institute for Human Centered Design. She also presented Same-Same But Different in August 2023 at the Leadership Exchange in Arts and Disability Conference, which brings together arts and culture administrators to discuss how to make their spaces more accessible and inclusive to the public.

And whether it’s been shared with a family member, a friend, or these more institutional settings, Mendes said the feedback she’s received has been really positive.

“If I’m being completely honest, it’s surreal, because it’s been two-and-a-half years of trying to weave multiple parts into a final project that I feel confident standing by visually and storytelling-wise,” Mendes said.

Looking to the future, Mendes said she would love the opportunity to take her work from print to video, such as through a documentary, or realize her original vision of a photo book, in the style of photographers Deana Lawson and Diane Arbus.

“I’ll be extremely grateful if Same-Same But Different keeps evolving,” Mendes said. “Ultimately, I will have to turn to my brother as the muse to guide the next steps.”

[smithqjohns]

6. “I’m gonna get out the big chunks first…” we went to a really nice large pool and at some point it was announced that everyone had to get out because someone pooped in the pool, and then at some point it was decided that it was throw u,p and then later it was decided that someone just dropped some Cheetos in the pool that they were holding and eating. But when it first happened, after we heard the announcement that we were to get out of the pool, I heard the life guard with the net say, “I’m gonna get out the big chunks first…” which felt very vivid after being told their was poop in the pool… would go back though, 9 out of 10 stars.

7. My mom and my cousin (along with her two dogs) met us there in Tennessee and my mom brought me boiled peanuts and scuppernong jelly.

8. Went on a very nice hike at the Devil’s Backbone. Recommend.

9. Went to a large (for this size town) farmer’s market where I got a delicious fried Bologna sandwich. The cook brought it over to me with a proud smile and in a thick Tennessee accent he quietly but genuinely said “you’re gonna really like this…” he was right I did, and it was only $3.50. (This was my second of three Bologna sandwiches on the trip. I grew up eating Bologna but never loved it. I did always eat it though. It’s been about three decades since when I used to frequently eat them. Before this trip I’ve maybe had one since those days. So eating them was nostalgic of course, but after so long I’ve finally actually missed the taste of them.)

10. At the farmer’s market I found a shirt that said “You’re the Trailer Park - I’m the Tornado.” The design had 1990’s look to it but was a new design. The designer wasn’t there but their business card was so I grabbed it. It was a women’s XL shirt so I thought it would be too small. Actually it was the size of a men’s triple XL. I guess will have to order one my size. Other shirts I saw there (different designer though) were “Heifer Please” and “The Confederate States of America - Love it or Leave it” (bravest losers of all time)… oh and the Jeep ones that say “Boobie Bouncer.” They also had a section that printed older style shirts, like the “In Loving Memory” ones or the heart ones with you and your lover’s name. I remember at the fair seeing these type of shirts all the time in the 80’s but very rarely anymore. I’ve missed them. I wanted to get one but it was overwhelming with all of the choices.

11. Also at the farmer’s market was this device kids could attach to their bike and then add chalk to it so they can draw things as they ride or if you want your kid to ride over to the neighbors and write “suck it” in their driveway…

[musicmoney]

“I may never be rich and famous, but I already feel fulfilled and immensely blessed.” #MusicMoney Speaks with Eluozo 

Where are you from?

 I come from a small town in the southern part of Nigeria, nested in the more popular city of Port Harcourt. Like most artists, I was exposed to music quite early as a kid. My folks generally love music, especially my dad, my fondest memories of him are when we will both listen to a show called “Country Classics” that runs from 10pm into the mid night every saturday. No one in my family could sing to save their lives Lol, it came as a surprise to everyone that I could even hold a note and had such a strong passion for music, their surprise translated into support. As for why I choose to do music full time, I can’t say it’s one thing, it’s a mixture of many things, from it being a gift, an escape and coping mechanism, my family’s undying support, to the fact that I just couldn’t function at a regular job however hard I tried, all lead me down this path.

Describe your sound…

This latest single Fly Away Anthem is a Dance Mix to Eluozo's original RnB/Afro Pop track Fly Away. “The words!” I want people to resonate with the words – Artists, especially in and around the RnB genre are usually judged based on their vocal dexterity, but that doesn’t mean much to me, I think the lyrics of a song are what makes it powerful, not hitting high notes or riffing and running, those are nice, but I want the words in my song to be tweeted, printed on t-shirts, framed etc. long after I’m gone. I describe my sound as “Universal” because every single genre in existence influences my sound.

Who inspires you?

 I was really into country music coz of my Dad, so Jim Reeves, Don Williams, Dolly Parton and the likes were my first contact with music, as I grew I started to consume any and everything that sounded pleasing, RnB, HipHop, Afrobeats, all of the greats, past and present in these genres inspire and influence me a great deal.

Eluozo is actually my grandfather’s name, I was told I may have gotten my musical gifts from him coz he was the only one in the lineage that had an artistic bone, he played a weird instrument I don’t even know the name of and sang, but not professionally, just by the fire side to the kids and stuff. So the idea is… I sing, he gets the credit to his name, technically I’m in a band of some sort, a really creepy one LOL.

Tell us something everyone needs to know…

When I lost my Job and told my Father I wasn’t going to bother finding another one, I’d build some type of spiritually and financially rewarding system based off of my music. He was genuinely worried for me but reluctantly supportive. Exactly 6 years since that decision, I have a home, a beautiful wife and a kid on the way. He visited me at my place a short while back just to say he’s proud of me (my dad is African, the Nigerian kind of African, getting him to voluntarily say he’s proud of me is right up there with winning a grammy). I may never be rich and famous, but I already feel fulfilled and immensely blessed.

https://www.instagram.com/frannie_el/

https://twitter.com/Frannie_el

FLY AWAY ANTHEM