#nihilistic midnight
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#original photographers#photographers on tumblr#photography#my photos#my post#my art#sunset#nature#nihilistic midnight
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i work for like 8 days straight bcs i moved my weekend around for my bday plans....agony....but also...double weekend after my bday i think bcs theyre gonna have to "reset" my schedule and if they dont its ok bcs im reverse paypig
#also i get paid midnight on the day of my trip. so. worth it#even tho i know it cancels out bcs. double weekend next period whatever whatever let me live the toddler pointing at a tall cup of water#truth#TINY SPIDER. SPIDER FOR MONEY#its all for moving fees btw. i want to live nihilists after one opportunity to live w a friend
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To be aware you might be trans but unwilling to do anything about it is to create endlessly bigger boxes within which to contain yourself. When you are a child, that box might encompass only yourself and your parents. By the time you are a gainfully employed adult, that box will contain multitudes, and the thought of disrupting it will grow ever more unthinkable. So you cease to think of yourself as a person on some level; you think not of what you want but what everybody expects from you. You do your best not to make waves, and you apologize, if only implicitly, for existing. You stop being real and start being a construct, and eventually, you decide the construct is just who you are, and you swaddle yourself up in it, and maybe you die there. There is still time until there isn’t.
This reading of TV Glow’s deliberately anticlimactic, noncathartic ending cuts against the transition narrative you typically see in movies and TV, in which a trans person self-accepts, transitions, and lives a happier life. Owen gets trapped in a space where he knows what he must do to live an authentic life but simply refuses to take those steps because, well, burying yourself alive is a terrifying thing to do. The transition narrative posits a trans existence as, effectively, a binary switch between “man” and “woman” that gets flipped one way or another, but to make our lives so binary is to miss how trans existences possess an inherent liminality.
Humans’ lives unfold in a constant state of becoming until death, but trans people are uniquely keyed in to what this means thanks to the simple fact of our identities. You can get lost in that liminality, too, forever trapped in a midnight realm of your own making, stuck between what you believe is true (I am a nice man with a good family and a good job, and I love my life) and what you know, deep in your most terrified heart of hearts, is real (I am a girl suffocating in a box).
And yet if you want to read the film as being about the dangerous allure of nostalgia, you’re not wrong. I Saw the TV Glow totally supports that interpretation, too! But in tempting you with that reading, the film creates a trap for cis viewers that will be all too familiar to trans viewers. Somewhere in the middle of Maddy’s story about The Pink Opaque being real, you will make a choice between “This kid has lost it!” and “No. Go with her, Owen,” and in asking you to make that choice, TV Glow is simulating the act of self-accepting a trans identity.
See, the grimmer read of the film’s ending truly is a nihilistic one. It leaves no hope, no potential for growth, no exit. Yet you must actively choose to read that ending as nihilistic. If you are cis and the end of I Saw the TV Glow left you with a gnawing sense of dissatisfaction, a weird but hard-to-pin-down feeling that something had broken, and a melancholy bordering on horror — congratulations, this movie gave you contact-high gender dysphoria.
In an infinite number of possible universes, there is at least one where I am still living “as a man,” embracing my fictionality, avoiding looking at how much more raw and real I feel when I “pretend” to be a woman. I think about that guy sometimes. I hope he’s okay.
Consider, then, my cis reader, that TV Glow is for both you and me, but it is maybe most of all for him. I hope he sees it. I hope he breaks down crying in the bathroom afterward. I hope he, after so many years locked inside himself, hears the promise of more life through the hiss of TV static.
Emily St. James, “I Saw the TV Glow’s Ending Is Full of Hope, If You Want It to Be,” Vulture. June 4, 2024.
#i saw the tv glow#jane schoenbrun#isttvg#isttvg spoilers#i saw the tv glow spoilers#reading#emily st james
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blu lock top artists on Spotify??? i need your thoughts on it
anon you had me pulling up my spotify playlists and browsing through the entirety of genius.com for three hours straight. i'm going to tweak this prompt a little bit and include specific songs that best represent them since it's easier for me to explain that way.
RIN
the fanon answer for this is chase atlantic. while their songs do encapsulate parts of his personality (mostly the edgy teenager and disillusioned youth persona), i feel like this choice does not do his full character justice.
the canon answer for this is king gnu, more specifically the song "prayer x." i can picture this since rin seems like the type to enjoy alternative rock/indie, but the fact that it's the ending theme to banana fish is what gets to me. like...do you see yourself in ash or something? i hope you don't cus it doesn't end well. that anime had me bawling my eyes out for months, and i still can't think about it without breaking down again.
furthermore, the lyrics and music video to this song are very cryptic and borderline nihilistic. for example, "hiding behind this nonchalant smile" and "my life's spark will wink out of existence." i feel like this speaks volumes about rin's mental health and internal thought process. he obviously does not process his emotions normally and instead represses them. he also struggles with the idea of finding a purpose in what is otherwise a cyclical routine with no end. he's worried and, quite frankly, afraid that if he ever stops pursuing his dream, everything will come crumbling down, and he will have to face all the demons he's avoided for so long. the main theme here is that he cannot face his reality (the fact that sae's dream is not his own.) so he does everything in order to escape this fact even if it ultimately destroys him.
from my own playlists, i'd assign him the following songs/artists:
"beautiful boy" by john lennon
this is a love letter to baby rin. i feel like he would've enjoyed this song as either a lullaby or something he listened to on car rides to the beach during summer vacations. he probably still listens to this when it's raining outside or he's had a bad day. reminds him of his childhood and the good parts of it.
"the love club" by lorde
this is something pre-teen rin listened to. the irony is spot-on, and i feel like the lyrics would be relevant during a time when he was going through his rebellious phase and fully fleshing out his place in society. in this instance, the club would metaphorically be wherever his brother is at, whether that's the guys sae meets in spain or the group of football players considered "top-notch" in japan. everything is about finding a place in this club/clique in an effort to become free and differentiate himself from others. the only problem is that rin ironically loses his freedom because he tries so hard to be among the best. he signs his life away in pursuit of a dream, and it's something that now defines him.
"the only problem i got with the club / is how you're severed from the people / who watched you grow up"
this lyric in particular could apply to either one of the itoshi brothers. it's one of the caveats that comes with fame. you gain everything, but you lose everything before that. both of the itoshis likely experienced some amount of separation from their loved ones, including each other. also lorde's vocals are beautiful as always, so there's no reason not to include this song.
"howlin' 404" by DEAN
the production for this song is on point. the intro has a segment from a 1930s american horror radio program which is fitting because rin canonically watches horror movies. i think this song is something rin might listen to during cold autumns or midnights when he just can't sleep.
lyrically, there is the motif of a time loop which is also present in "prayer x." rin's character itself just has this connection with the raw grittiness of existentialism and this idea of repeating days without purpose. (in fact, he would make a great psychological thriller lead.) rin is also a control freak. if he lets one loose end go, it will unravel the entire thing. that matches up with the idea of "killing me softly." rin would rather prolong his pain than have it ripped from him all at once and leave him with nothing. i find this in a lot of people in real life too. even if your trauma wasn't good for you, it sometimes becomes the only thing you truly own. it's like that one quote from bojack horseman. "if i don't, that means that all the damage i got isn't good damage, it's just damage." rin feels like he has something to prove, and if he fails, all his suffering would've been for nothing.
"moonchild" by RM
i may be a bit biased since i love the mono mixtape, and i've written a rin fic about celestial bodies, but....this song just fits him. there's also a remarkable similarity with the lyrics of the previous songs i've listed. i'm just going to list a few:
"smiling in endless pain / you know / there's no freedom when you say freedom out loud"
one thing i love about RM is that he doesn't shy away from character flaws. he writes songs specifically for those who are always picked last, who aren't remarkable in any way, who feel weighed down by their normality. he gives them their spotlight and due diligence. for example, the entirety of the chorus is a repeat of "moonchild, you shine." i find this interesting since it's usually the sun that shines. but the sun is already sae, and rin is relegated to being the moon. yet even though the moon doesn't have its own light (it merely reflects the sun), it still shines bright in the darkness. rin doesn't know it yet, but he himself is a big role model for others such as isagi, his fans, and people just like him. so yeah....i'd take this song as a message of hope for future rin.
SAE
the fanon answer is lana del rey, and i would agree to a certain extent. under the right circumstances, he could become one of those dreamy, emotionally stunted, and tired men you guys all lust over. if y/n ever wrote a romantic song about him, it would be either "west coast" (for the spanish influences) or "art deco" (for the vibes.)
the headcanon answer is nothing. i don't think he listens to music much. even if he did, it would be probably classical/instrumental or just white noise for his long flights. i imagine him listening to erik satie's "gymnopédie no. 3" on a train ride or something.
from my own playlists, i'm going to give him these songs/artists:
"remind me" by röyksopp
i don't know how to explain this, but this song gives a bittersweet sense of nostalgia. think early 2000s when the TV footage was still grainy and had retro graphics. you're carrying around your mini mp3 player whilst wandering through the airport and wondering how the hell you even ended up there. that's the general ambience of this song.
lyrically, the song also matches well with sae. i'm going to give you a few examples:
"it's only been a week / the rush of being home in rapid fading"
again, this is a tribute to the disconnection sae feels from his home. he goes everywhere, but he belongs nowhere. when he finally returns to japan, he finds himself missing spain. when he's in madrid, he thinks about the ocean back in kamakura. there never is a place that truly fills that gaping hole in his chest. i also feel like sae experiences FOMO on a whole other level. he constantly feels like something is wrong/missing and he's not doing enough.
"brave men tell the truth / the wise man's tools are analogies and puzzles"
the idea here is that though sae is blunt with his words, he is a coward with his intentions/true feelings. he can brutally call out someone without hesitation, but to actually reveal his own truths and motives? he'd rather shrivel up in a hole and die. this is especially applicable to love. to him, a wise man is someone who doesn't open his heart up easily. instead, he hints at his feelings, and whether or not you can figure that out is on you. sae hates it when others play games with him. it's where his hypocrisy lies. he demands straightforward honesty from others, but he himself will unintentionally play games with you if it means he can hide himself behind his walls.
"a woman holds her tongue / knowing silence will speak for her"
this is the closest you guys are ever going to get to sae itoshi's ideal type. he loves people who don't need to say something for him to believe it. they just get it. your silence is automatically enough for him to know that you love him. similarly, you don't even need to speak a word to understand what he's feeling.
"night shift" by lucy dacus
this song is sae if he was that one ex-boyfriend who really fucked you up emotionally, and you never got over him even though you said you did. now that i think about it, the story could be told from either POV. this could be sae trying to erase you from his mind, or it could also be you post-breakup.
"you've got a 9 to 5 / so i'll take the night shift / and i'll never see you again / if i can help it"
i know this one lyric caused controversy all over tiktok, so i'm going to add my own interpretation. at face value, this is exactly what it says it is. sae doesn't want to see you again, nor do you. he's willing to go out of his way just to avoid you, and truthfully he would. when sae finds himself in trouble, he doesn't look for something new to fix him. instead, he cuts everything off and subtracts anything that is deadweight. if you're out of his life, then you're out of his life. he's not coming back for you (or at least that's what he says to convince himself). same thing with rin. he knows he hurt rin, but he's not going to go back and try to make it right. he's going to move on and try to justify his actions every step of the way. one day, rin will move on too, and then sae would have been right all along. (unfortunately, that is not the way things work, but that's a lesson for another time.)
the alternative interpretation is that y/n is the other woman. this could be literal as in sae already has someone else in his life, and he only sees you at night. you're only ever going to be the night shift. it could also be metaphorical as in you're merely a distraction in the grand scheme of things. you're the mistress, but football is his wife if that makes sense. his career will always take precedence.
"you get me so high" by the neighborhood
this song is all the words sae wished he said to rin but never did. it made me cry because everything would have been so different if they had just set aside their pride and truthfully sought each other out.
"hope you don't regret it / i pushed a lot back but i can't forget it"
repressing feelings seems to be a recurring issue with the itoshi brothers. like....maybe if i just push it out of sight, it will also go out of mind. and at its core, this all stems from fear. fear of facing the consequences, the hypotheticals, the terrifying realization that you did something you regret and there really is no turning back from it. but realistically, if you think about it, a lot of this is the byproduct of overthinking. sometimes the situation isn't as complicated as we might make it out to be. sometimes an apology doesn't fix everything, but it's a proposition to be something more, an attempt at a solution. but sae and rin are so blindsided by their own internal turmoil that they cannot see this.
"for a long time i took it all for granted / i really thought we had it / but at the time it was more than i could manage"
ah....the "taking for granted" part. i could ramble on about that for hours. i think it really is some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy that we never miss something until it's gone. and in a way, it's not something that we can always control. the value you assign to a person/object when you have it is going to be fundamentally different from the value you assign to it when it's no longer in your grasp. that's how scarcity works. something with a limited supply is always going to be worth more. the vice versa works as well. you might yearn after something but then throw it away the moment you finally have it and grow tired of it. this sort of dilemma that comes with appreciation is so common i really wouldn't blame the itoshi brothers for what they did. it is immensely difficult to know when you're going to lose something or when you need to let it go. and sometimes it's hard to be constantly grateful for what you have because many of us are wired to want something more. tbh that's what makes the itoshis relatable.
"if we can leave it all behind us / and meet in between"
now sae would never say this unless he himself had actually reflected on what happened and fully processed it. but maybe in the future, they could set aside their differences and reach out to each other. (this is how i cope)
"but i just had to let you know / i never meant to hurt you, though / i had all my motives / i didn't know they wouldn't mix with your emotions / i just had to reach my goals / never knew i'd meet you though"
that's the thing with personal ambition. sometimes you get so caught up in yourself, you forget all about others. and this isn't really selfishness, or at least intentional selfishness. it just sort of happened that way. you never meant to hurt them, but you still somehow did.
"we should stick together / you're my best friend / i'll love you forever"
yeah....this line was the one that did it for me. something about the dysfunctional sibling dynamic just eats away at my insides. like....i could've loved you, we could've been so much together, but why aren't we? what we have isn't hate, but it isn't the love i know and crave either.
"we could be the greatest / it doesn't matter if we're never rich or famous"
ok but if rin ever heard this leave sae's lips, i think all of his trauma would just be magically healed. he just wants his brother to see him. like fully see him and love him. but alas, what is blue lock without angst, am i right?
"love in the dark" by adele
now i don't think sae would ever listen to adele, but the lyrics are just too fitting. i was going to write a fic on this, but it's going to have to ferment a bit in the drafts for now. basically this is the entire rin/sae traumatic scene but as a melodramatic torch song with adele's heavenly vocals.
"take your eyes off of me so i can leave / i'm far too ashamed to do it with you watching me"
um...this is literally sae's internal monologue??? i feel like letting go of things is something both the itoshi brothers struggle with. their lives are constantly pulling them in different directions, and eventually they become numb to it all. they don't form any strong attachment to anything besides football because that's the one thing that won't change for them. in a way, this is necessary for their character development (in the sense that they need to discern for themselves what to keep and what to let go), but it also destroys any sense of belonging they might have (hence why they feel lonely.)
"don't try to change my mind / i'm being cruel to be kind"
sae would definitely say this. like word for word. if only he wasn't a vague dumbass with no communication skills.
"i can't love you in the dark / it feels like we're oceans apart"
this is literally their dynamic in one lyric. there is the physical distance, and then there's the emotional distance.
"we're not the only ones, / i don't regret a thing / every word i've said, / you know i'll always mean"
this sort of reminds me when sae said that the world is huge, and there's so many players way better than him out there. i think spain really gave him a reality check, and he grew angry at rin when rin couldn't understand his disillusionment.
"everything changed me / and i don't think you can save me"
adele sort of echoes this softly at the end of the song. i feel like sae would do that too. he wouldn't admit his own insecurities until the very end, and only then does the truth come out.
"i'll sleep when i'm older" by bruno major
this is sae when he's older and fully mature, preferably after he meets you. he finally decides to damn it all and do what he wants.
"conversations with elders and the wisdom they bring ... / the view from an aeroplane at twelve thousand feet"
sae views things that previously annoyed him in a new light. he used to hate his elders, but he visited you and your mother once, and something changed within him. now he calls his parents more often, and his eyes linger on the old couples near the park benches. sometimes, his gaze softens just a bit when he imagines the two of you growing old just like them.
flights used to be a mundane part of his routine, but now he finds himself leaning over your window seat to see the mountains down below. the clouds and sunny weather set him aglow. and you just look so pretty when you fall asleep on his shoulder. he doesn't ever want this change.
"meet god on a mountain top along with the stars / find love somewhere, anywhere / fall deep from the start"
sae used to avoid love, but now he's running at it full-force. people tend to shy away from making sae a romantic because it seems too ooc. however, in the right situation, i think sae could entirely abandon his previous ideals and become someone else entirely. (that's why it's called a character evolution guys.)
"misplace my mind and follow my heart"
again, if you're able to make sae lose all rationality and let his heart guide him instead, then you've really done something. kudos to you for penetrating the walls of the coldest asshole known to mankind.
"i'll be a firework, not a flickering flame / treat life all around me like a one-player game"
this one lyric applies both to younger and older sae. younger sae is someone unafraid of risking it all if it means he can achieve something worthwhile. it doesn't matter how many players he has to defeat, how many people he has to leave behind. in this world, it is just him and the goal he has to accomplish.
however, after he's mellowed out after a few years (i'd say around middle age), he probably reinterprets this as something else. he's not going to constrain himself to his tunnel vision anymore. there's so much more to life than that.
"i'll go to the party and forget all the names / should it climb back to haunt me, / it ends all the same"
sae finally lets himself live the life he never thought he'd have. he does stupid things like get drunk and make a fool of himself. but you're there for him, so he doesn't really care. in fact, he can finally say that for the first time in a long time....he's having fun.
KAISER
the fanon answer is the weeknd. i'm not going to lie, i completely agree with this one. i saw this one edit of him to "party monster," and i can say i have been fully enlightened and converted. however, this is not just about a toxic male manipulator anthem. it's much more than that.
this is about running away from the ugliest parts of yourself, becoming a slave to your vices, knowing you're broken somewhere and you can never fix it. i would say his character is most similar to "starboy" in the fact that he literally flaunts everything he has to hide the fact that deep down inside, he really has nothing else to hold onto. "starboy" is all about the status symbol (money, red lamborghinis, glass table girls turning into ebony table girls lol). but at the end of the day, he doesn't really have anything except an empty heart and a satirical quip for all those who made him famous. the same theme applies to "the morning" and "house of balloons."
in the romantic sense, i think "don't break my heart" would represent kaiser. and no, this is not a justification for him being an f-boy. it's more so an exploration of why people might think he is an f-boy. i do not condone his actions, but i do try to understand them. in particular, i feel like the lyrics of "sacrifice" also fit him well.
"i was born in a city / where the winter nights don't ever sleep / so this life's always with me / the ice inside my veins will never bleed"
i headcanon kaiser as being born in either berlin or munich. and if you don't know anything about those two places, just know that you freeze your ass off during wintertime. i think it's interesting how his past could be intrinsically tied with a place, and he takes a piece of his past self with him wherever he goes. the ice in veins part also made me think about how kaiser would rather freeze up every weakness within himself than let them run free and make him human.
"every time you try to fix me / i know you'll never find that missing piece"
guys...did you hear that? to all you delusional people out there, this is your service announcement. you cannot fix someone who does not want to be fixed. write that down and memorize it. all meaningful change starts with a shift in mindset, and if they themselves are not in the right headspace to recognize that something is wrong and actively want to change, you're not going to get anywhere. so yeah....kaiser is not going to change unless HE starts doing the changing.
"i hold you through the toughest parts / when you feel like it's the end / 'cause life is still worth living"
i think this lyric sort of explores kaiser's dynamic with ness. on one front, he is the one picking ness up from his miserable past and instilling a sense of hope into him (intentionally or not.) but on another front, this could also be a problem. kaiser is almost forcefully optimistic in the way that he believes anything is possible. it has to be possible because there can be no other way. but the thing is.....you have to know your limits sometimes. blind optimism is, ironically, similar to cornering yourself.
"i can break you down and pick you up / and fuck like we are friends / but don't be catching feelings"
this is definitely the type of bullshit kaiser would spew. i could picture a fwb or situationship with him where y/n just constantly receives the short end of the stick. now this may be reaching, but i also feel like this is how kaiser projects his own trauma onto others. he himself clawed his way up to the top and put himself back together every time he fell down. the problem is that he also expects you to be that resilient. he's going to treat you badly because you're supposed to be like him: someone who can overcome everything and strive towards the impossible.
the headcanon answer to his top artist would be keshi. in particular, i think kaiser would fit the vibe of "2 soon" and "drunk." long story short, you finally broke up with him, and he's still reeling from the impact.
within my fics, i envision a dialogue between kaiser and y/n from each one of their perspectives. so based on that, i'm going to assign him the following songs/artists:
"gibson girl" by ethel cain
i know i said earlier that kaiser's character is not solely about toxic manipulation, but you have to understand that all bad habits originate from somewhere. kaiser is innately self-destructive, and he brings you down along with him. this song is about that but from y/n's perspective. there's this idea of trying to find agency in a situation where you have none. i don't have the word count to explain ethel cain lore in all of its naked glory, but all i can say is that this song is a banger and deals with themes like femininity as a performance, finding power in pain, religious motifs, etc.
"glory box" by portishead
this song is y/n's last plea to kaiser before they fully give up on him and leave. i'm also a sucker for anything that involves an exploration of gender dynamics and what it means to be a woman, and this song is riddled with it.
"suffocation" by crystal castles
this is kaiser post-isagi defeat (cue that one scene where he was trying to choke himself.) similar to sae, it's all or nothing with him. he suffers from this feeling of inferiority. everyone made him out to be this great figure of impossible dreams and legends, but look at him now. he's nothing. aren't you disappointed? he had you fooled, but he also fooled himself. so yeah....kaiser is definitely the most self-deprecating out of all of the boys at blue lock.
ISAGI
the fanon answer is laufey, and i also agree. he's so sweet, and laufey's music just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. he would also be that one love that came creeping up on you when you least expected it. "valentine" would be the song for that. i picture a reader who's had a series of unfortunate breakups and is right on the edge of giving up entirely. but then isagi comes along, and it's just so easy to love him. as easy as breathing. and then you think maybe it wasn't so bad after all. you just never found the right one until he came into your life. furthermore, isagi is a jazz pop princess, and you can't convince me otherwise.
the headcanon answer is IU. more specifically, i would say "troll" from her lilac album. i feel like even if you and isagi broke up, it would still be like you two never broke up at all. you're both on good terms, and even though you know it's counterproductive to keep cycling back to each other, you do it anyways. and it's okay because you're both still in love.
from my own playlists, i would assign the following songs/artists:
"winter bear" by v
this is my comfort song. it feels like those big sherpa blankets you tuck yourself under when you're lying next to the heater in winter. isagi would kiss your forehead and nuzzle your nose before you two drifted off to sleep.
"a boy named pluto" by hailey knox
this one is so romantic lol. i also like the dynamic where one party is afraid to love, but the other person loves them unconditionally. that would be isagi. he'd respect your decision and wait for you as long as you need it. but if you're ever ready to give him a chance, just know that he's going to treasure all of you.
"put your records on" by ritt momney
the inspiring thing about isagi is that he never lets anyone put him down. he takes rejection as redirection, failure as room for improvement. and in that way, i think this song encapsulates his resilience. he'd be such a good boyfriend not just romantically but in the way that he would literally pick you back up to your feet, dust you off, and make sure everything was alright.
"fairy of shampoo" by dosii
i picture isagi as someone who falls first and falls harder. he just loves you so much, and he doesn't even need a reason why. i saw somewhere that sometimes you don't love someone because they're your soulmate/twin flame/supernaturally fated other. you love them because you consciously made the decision to. isagi is like that. he loves you on purpose.
helppp why does this sound like an academic paper...i'm sorry anon. i got carried away with this, but i hope u like it.
#asks#blue lock imagines#blue lock#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#blue lock x y/n#blue lock x female reader#blue lock x gender neutral reader#rin itoshi#rin itoshi x y/n#rin itoshi x reader#rin itoshi x you#blue lock fluff#blue lock headcanons#sae itoshi#sae itoshi x you#sae itoshi x y/n#sae itoshi x reader#michael kaiser#michael kaiser x you#michael kaiser x reader#michael kaiser x y/n#isagi x you#isagi yoichi#isagi x reader
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DREAMSMP MEMBER AS IYOWA (VOCALOID) SONGS!! A THREAD!!
Ctommy / Almost ended - a song about a girl stuck in a loop- stuck chasing her own ending forever
ctommy part2 - Midnight Phobia
ctommy honourable mention (im a freak) / peachy key
ctubbo / over - about a young girl determined to find her dead friend in the stars
ctechno / adipocere - a girl wandering through the metaphorical cold for dead relationships
(note: i always imagined techno to living millennium, and this song to crimeboys. this is for accuracy.)
cphil / imawanokiwa - about a mother attempting to ignore the grief of losing her child
cniki / Till your tear goes - a remembrance to let go and love the day
cslime / living millenium - a painting-like girl observing humans for thousands of years
cdream / mercy killing - a girl whos punishing another for lying
cquackity / goodbye jackpot - a nihilistic outview on life told through casino metaphors
cpuffy / Dandelion - someone desperately trying and failing to protect what she holds dear
csam / angel care - a girl apologizing and grieving for a loved ones death
#dream smp#ctommy#cdiscduo#cclingyduo#also#lol#im not putting cwilbur on here because i wont even taint the thread with the presence#of that horrid british man but#i alwayys associated him with clover knight#a girl who thinks that being harmed and harming is all part of stories#so she admires even when she is hurt because its part of quote unquote literature#THREAD IVE THOUGHT ABOUT FOR 4 YEARS BABY#over for tubbo is like his presidency arc#trying to find his friend who is. probably dead#YESSSIR#twt did NOT gaf abt this
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hello ⭐star⭐ for that one post about fanfic director’s commentary, hope you’re having a lovely day
thank u so much!!! i hope ur having a wonderful day too :3 ok hmm let's go with death note this time. let's talk about they both die at the end
(obviously death cw and suicidal ideation cw as well and also it's long again.)
so this one is kind of an undignified wrestle with mortality and legacy. no big dramatic strides made in that struggle, because i think getting satisfying closure about the acceptance of your own death is sort of gauche. i prefer a running stream of consciousness where you kinda flop around in the ring and kind of come to terms with things but in a really damp and hollow and itchy way.
throughout this fic i tried to use L's narration to contrast the source of his panic with the source of light's. both of them are acting sort of out of character in the sense that neither's behaviour is really aligned with the way they act in canon, and the reason i did that is sort of as a response to their own impending deaths. nobody's going to act like themselves in that circumstance. i even have them say it outright:
“I’m not really a nihilist,” says Light. “I wonder what you’d think of me if you’d met me on a normal day.” ... [L:] “I’m not ordinarily apathetic, either, by the way.”
one very simple detail showing that contrast is this:
L closes the door without locking it. He picks a direction at random and starts walking.
...
And it’d turned out they were nearby, so now they’re at Light’s apartment. “I didn’t think I’d be back here today,” he tells L, sticking his key in the lock. “Sorry if it’s messy.”
basically, light is in flight and L is in freeze. L doesn't bother locking his door when he leaves the house in the morning, but light does. L knows/accepts/has resolved that he won't be returning home that day. part of light still refuses to accept that, even though he leaves the house with the intention of ending his life.
i don't think it's fair to say that L's acceptance is more mature or that he's more at peace with his fate. it's more like...
so, L approaches situations with the perspective of looking at what is. he's truth-oriented. he accepts the facts of a given matter and then uses them to extrapolate what comes next. that extrapolation is really key to his character so it honestly bugs me a lot when people try to say that L is a purely logical character. he's not! he's running on intuition like 99% of the time and a lot of his extrapolations are wild and not evidence-based at all, but the reason for that is that he has an incredibly strong intuition based on how effectively he processes information. so L understands based on the phone call that he's going to die today, and there's really no point arguing around that fact. however, he can't actually figure out what his next steps are, because there are no next steps. he's going to die today.
throughout the story he struggles immensely with the fact that there is a piece of information he can't attain using the information he already has: he doesn't know when he's going to die, only that it's going to happen before midnight, and so he is completely unable to plan what he should do next, because he can't see any course of action through to its conclusion:
Two. Three. Two. Three. Four. Three. Two. L shakes his head. Can’t count up. Can’t count down. The numbers keep changing, but he can’t find zero. “No,” he says. Deductive reasoning, by its nature, requires premises—in order to find a fact, you must have a fact to begin with. You cannot begin with a baseline of nothing. With no reference, there can be no inference. L keeps counting, but there is no zero, or rather, there is a zero and he doesn’t know where it is. The next second could be his last, or the next, or the next, and all he can know is that at some point the ticking will stop and there is no way to orient himself to it because that point keeps moving .
this drives L crazy. that uncertainty is being represented by this incessant ticking in L's head which won't fade. ok so have you ever used a metronome? say you're counting in 4/4, so the click would play like ONE two three four ONE two three four. the rhythm is steady, but there's one emphasised beat to orient you to where you are in the measure. or, say, a ticking clock, where you can glance at it to see where you are in the 60 seconds that make up a minute. you can count down to when the next minute begins. or a timer, where you can see it counting down to zero. in L's head, he knows the ticking is counting down to the moment of his death, but he doesn't know what it's counting down to because he can't see it. he doesn't know where zero is, there's no emphasis to orient him, and he doesn't know which second he's at in the minute. he could start doing something and then die in the next three seconds, and it would be abrupt and jarring and unsatisfying, like the feeling you get when you take a breath and get winded. so he's in freeze. L accepts that he's going to die today, but he doesn't know when, and the whole time he's thinking about all the things he's never gotten to experience in his life because he's always sort of taken the concept of existence for granted. but he can't figure out how to take steps to try and check things off, because he's never actually made that list. and why make it now? because he might not get to finish them, and that's really unsatisfying. and how do you prioritise when you know you're not going to get to the end of your list and your list is infinity items long? he can't plan. he can't move. he's stuck. he panics, frozen.
light on the other hand has always had a plan for his future, and he's just watched that timeline rapidly shrink and cut all the opportunities off that he'd always been counting down towards. suddenly everything he's done up until now feels like a huge waste, because it was all a run-up to something that now doesn't exist. and he can't bear the fact that the control he'd always taken care to maintain over his life has suddenly been wrested away from him. that's why he starts the story out trying to kill himself - at the very least, he can control the when and cut the fear off.
Light swallows his mouthful of tuna and says, “If I can’t control my fate, I can at least bring it about myself.” “Does controlling your fate matter to you?” “That’s a stupid question,” says Light. “If you asked me yesterday I’d have had a hundred thousand things to say that mattered more to me than choosing how I’d die. My options have just kind of narrowed today, that’s all.”
L's right, though - light never would have done it. light wants to live more than he ever realised. i think light's had this moment of looking down the tunnel (hehe) and staring down his own impending death and realised he's not finished yet, but that's been taken out of his hands. he's realised that the mark he's left on the world has been so small and insignificant, and that if he dies now, that'll be all that's left of him. he's not willing to accept that. but that's the way things are. so he's in flight: run towards his own death so at least he can control the pace at which he dies? try to outrun the inevitable? try to speedrun a meaningful life to see if he can make some kind of mark before he stops existing for good?
“I don't know what we're walking to,” says Light. “I feel like I'm walking closer to my—to my own—” “We can stop.” “That just means it'll happen here instead. I don't want to die here, either.” “Where do you want to die?” “I don't,” Light says. His face crumples. “I just don’t. I'm not ready to be done.”
this is my favourite part of the fic tbh. it's based on a nightmare i had once that ended up changing my entire worldview. wahoo!
not to be a wanker but to an extent this is kind of what everyone's doing, technically, walking towards what will inevitably be your death, since time only moves in one direction and all that. but unlike everyone in the real world, light can see it. he wants to walk in the other direction, but it's all around him. he can see it growing closer the more he keeps moving, and all he wants to do is stop.
“What do I say?” Light asks desperately. “Hi, Dad. Hi, Mum.” Break. “Sorry I'll never give you grandchildren. Sorry I didn't get to graduate. Sorry you'll have to bury my dreams with me. Sorry for nineteen years that came to nothing in the end. It came to nothing.”
re: light refusing to speak to his family: i think he explains himself in the fic enough, but there's also another level where i think talking to his family about it means he'd have to formulate this fact into words which is difficult when he's not really accepted it himself, and on top of that, he would need to carry his family's grief and he's just not ready to do that. there's like a weird thing about talking to people who are already grieving you. i always felt really weird about that when talking to [friends/relations] who were terminally ill. light's relationship with his mother is kind of unexplored in canon but i wanted to go into it i think because your mother is someone who holds a unique spot in your life, i think, assuming you have a good relationship with her, and there is that reported phenomenon where people who are about to die tend to call out for their mothers. i guess this might be controversial but i think it's textually supported that light really cares about his family. i dont think light is ready to look at them and see them looking at him like he's someone who's already gone, and see all the things he never got to do with/for them. i honestly dont think hed survive it
ultimately it was really important to me that light died for no reason and that he didn't really have any material impact on anything. he dies trying to save a child, but someone else saves the kid first. light didn't have to take action at all. but of course, he did
As L stares, reaching hands scoop the toddler off the street from the other side.
i think in a sense it's up to personal opinion whether light had an impact or whether his friendship with L mattered at all before he died. after all, L died like an hour later, and it's not like he had anyone to pass those memories on to. he didn't even know light's surname. the memories of their last day together only exist with each other, and now they're both gone, so did it really matter? what does it mean to matter anyway? do you have to leave a legacy? is it enough that light managed to be L's only friend in the hours before L stopped existing? probably?
It's dark now. Properly dark. It's a new moon tonight, and though the stars do their best, there's little that can cut through the blackness in its absence.
...
L stares up at the moonless sky.
...
It might have been nice to die with the moon.
ofc light's name is written with the kanji for moon. just a silly joke lol.
L's death is something that's more likely to happen when you're alone, by the way. he gets mugged because he's an easy target sitting alone on a park floor. too bad he didn't have more friends and his only friend is dead.
also, the fact that he's a detective who gets murdered in a random act of crime was sort of another nod to the futility of the whole thing that light struggles with in canon. like, work your ass off, solve crime after crime, bring people to justice, but it never ends. crime continues. so is there a point? (yes, obviously.) but that's just a return to the struggle for legacy and meaning, where it's hard not to wonder whether the thing you're doing matters if it's not permanent / if you didn't solve something for good / if you didn't leave a mark that will never fade. i dunno. i think L did enough good in his lifetime. it wasn't enough to save him, but everyone dies eventually, so maybe it doesn't really matter?
i didn't want to give either of them the dignity of a full final thought. light definitely doesn't realise what's happening in the moment before he dies because he didn't see the truck, so i think he didn't have a chance to formulate one.
L watches a look of relief cross Light's face in the split second before the truck horn blares.
L of course gets cut off mid-sentence, just like he'd implicitly feared he might - trying to check things off the list, tie things off, before he's done:
What might a good final thought be? A final sight? He wonders if he could possibly find a star before
hopefully if you read the fic you got something out of it! it is, i think, intentionally pretty hollow and futile feeling, but not in a way that's supposed to make you feel hopeless or nihilistic. well, i hope not. i think there's something really cathartic that comes with the kind of closure you get specifically from accepting that sometimes there's no closure. that's how i felt writing it, so hopefully reading it is something similar. i dunno!
#jeeeeezus#i dont expect anyone to read these in depth or at all btw im kinda just pleased to have somewhere to write my thoughts out#this ended up being more a treatise on mortality than about the fic but 😬#it's also sufficiently about the fic... i hope#asks#death note#rookfic#thank you for asking! i appreciate it!#rookthots#i dunno if i said anything here that wasnt already in the fic really but it was still good to write it all out u know#eta: i started a thread i forgot to tie off but basically L operates in what *is*#meanwhile light operates in what *should be*#which is what cements him as an idealist vs L's realism
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I genuinly want a hh/hb rewrite it would be peak
If I were to write the story from the ground up, I would have focused more on the idea that Heaven and Hell are unimportant. I actually liked the idea of people being sent to either one on arbitrary criteria that exists outside of morality, as I am a moral nihilist.
I would have focused the plot of Angel Dust on the idea that redemption is personal. You aren't seeking to be redeemed by others for them not being able to use you. The idea of owing others is debilitating psychologically. There are consequences to actions and people have a right to their feelings, but you don't owe others happiness or fulfillment. The only person who you should seek to redeem yourself to is yourself.
Psychologically speaking, expectation is the death of happiness. When one expects to receive a gift, they will be emotionally devastated when that expectation isn't met. Additionally, we as a generation (at least my fellow millennials) were raised to deflect negativity inward. What about us is wrong or failing to explain why others don't want to meet our expectations. It's a cycle of demoralization, low self esteem, identity crisis, imposter syndrome, and ultimately poor mental health.
As such, I would have framed Hell as Camus frames the universe: apathetic and uncaring to you, your happiness, your pain, your existence. And Angel Dust would have been my philosophical vehicle to how one would find happiness in the face of that. Because that is what Camus argues for in The Myth of Sisyphus.
We have to be comfortable being alone before we can have a healthy relationship with anyone else.
The best visualization of humanity, person to person, has to be in The Midnight Gospel where Clancy and his mother are visualized as planets. Whole worlds of their own that sustain themselves. And while he loses pieces of himself as she leaves him, engulfed in a black hole, he is still alive and is expected to move forward, for no one's benefit but his own. The idea that he is a planet shows how that expectation manifests. We have pieces of ourselves tied to others, but our ecosystem is self-regulated.
And Angel Dust as a character is the perfect example of someone who is incapable of being alone. He sold his soul to Valentino for some gold plated validation. The appearance of security, that someone else would take care of him for him. And when Valentino shows himself to be a bad actor, Angel Dust does nothing in the main series. He keeps the status quo, at most whining and complaining about how he does nothing, until he has some other person to chase.
The flaw of Angel Dust's character is his personal disregard for himself. His self destruction is a solid trait to focus on, but not validate. I would push Angel in finding happiness in the face of his choices. Learning to be proactive for himself in a way the show actually seems to devalue. Angel Dust is framed as a better person for allowing himself to be taken advantage of, but protecting his friends. But that sort of mentality is no different than him hoping someone will break him or save him to get him out of his choices.
It also leaves people who identify with Angel Dust waiting on a savior that will never come.
Slowing down the narrative and focusing heavily on characters and their wants vs needs is more important to me as someone in my 30s. I would imagine my audience being older teens to young adults who are just realizing that 18 isn't the end. You aren't going to wake up on your birthday and suddenly have it all figured out for another decade, but you are suddenly thrown into a world that has no concern for you. All your protections as children are stripped away, no one is looking out for you. Meanwhile, you have no idea who you are or how you fit into this circus called society.
Especially now with politics and the social climate we are in, I would treat it as a way of educating this demographic on how to care for themselves metaphysically through philosophy and psychology. Stripping the concepts of religion from the idea of a god, because he will never answer you. You will not be saved.
I would have probably designed my story around the idea of Steven Universe, but for adults. Bojack Horseman, but for people who don't understand the existential philosophy surrounding the plot.
And ultimately I think that is where Hazbin fell off at the starting line. It didn't have a concept of why it exists or for whom. It's a show for Vivienne Medrano that offers nothing for anyone watching. It wasn't designed for an audience, and any audience who felt it was is only providing validation to Medrano herself. It is a vapid empathy sink that only cashes back in Medrano's ego when storytelling has always been about more than just the author.
Mary Shelley writing about Frankenstein was one part a friendly competition to see who could write the most scary story. But it was another two parts of Shelley injecting questions of her soul:
Scientific study was on the rise and religion vs science was having a resurgence. For many people in her time, science was a means of replacing God. It isn't a coincidence that Frankenstein was written in 1816 and philosopher Frederick Nietzsche was born in 1844. He would have grown up alongside this work that has never fallen from popularity. The entire 19th century was marked by exponential scientific growth and philosophical recalibration.
As such, Shelley's work tackled many of the concepts philosophers would argue over in the coming two centuries. Especially so early in the era, Frankenstein explicitly tackled the idea "what if God was so horrified by his creation that he abandoned it?" It's why Frankenstein exists not just as science fiction, but existential horror.
I'm posting this picture again, because this will always matter, always be relevant, and always help when formulating a creative idea.
I apologize for not having a real rewrite, as I don't have much desire to think point by point how I would have done the show differently. Mainly because television requires some flexibility in where the story will go, but I have foundational rules and structural concepts as to what is important to tell or why this story exists.
#vivziepop critical#hazbin hotel criticism#hazbin hotel critical#hazbin hotel critique#spindlehorse criticism#spindlehorse critique#spindlehorse critical#vivziepop critique#vivienne medrano#moral nihilism#expressivism
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fatfruitychic 🌈
a colorful lookbook stylized for fat sims 😇
tysm to all the cc creators <3 i was heavily inspired @mycatzfave, b3v.ie on insta, and la’shaunae’s clothing collab with tunnel vision! not gonna sugarcoat this but unfortunately there will be some clipping and weight limits because ya know…art imitates life. hopefully, fat fashion gets wayyyy better both irl and in the sims SOON. cc links below ⬇️ tsr, mega, simsdom warnings **
~
🍒 sweet cherry cola (naomi) ~ a) cherry earrings** b) bella top c) low waist skirt d) maverick platforms
extras: kim hair, butterfly necklace, dragon claws, butterfly chain belt, whale tail, butterfly anklet
🍊 tangerine dreams (khadijah) ~ a) goldfish earrings b) keek top c) jada tote bag d) bitter end bottoms
extras: sandals, honey locs
🍯 metallic honey (monét) ~ a) nihilist blue top and gloves b) layla skirt c) mynx tights d) mei buckle boots
extras: alannah hair, choker, leg garter spikes
🥝 neon kiwi kisses (zahara) ~ a) chaewon fishnet gloves b) funhouse halter top c) juice jeans
extras: daija dreads
🌠 baby blue estrellita (yeonji) ~ a) headphones b) just dance top c) star maxi d) lara slides
extras: hystrix hair, ebano eyeliner
💟 amethyst passion (xolani) ~ a) jules gloves b) converse top c) baggy sweats d) platform shoes
extras: amaya hair, flashback eyeliner
💕 bubblegum heaven (nylah)~ a) alex earrings b) tye dye butterfly top c) material girl thong d) soho maxi skirt e) sun & moon accessory top
extras: vintage headphones, chunky sandals**, glumbut braids, 90s resin rings
🖤 midnight rose (mimi) ~ a) sunglasses b) fishnet top** c) long low waist skirt d) platform sandals
extras: sasha hair**, waist beads, tramp stamp, 90s nails
#ts4#sims 4#the sims 4#the sims#black simblr#ts4 lookbook#black simmer#ts4 edit#ts4 edits#🪐#naomi moore#nylah rivers#choi yeonji#zahara broussard#mimi carmichael#monét campbell#my first lookbook 🤩🤩#im no fashionista but i think i did okay!#🪐 lookbook
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My lovely @henderdads Cass, I unfortunately didn't manage to write a full length fanfiction that you 100% deserve for your birthday, buuuut...I saw that your fav Disney movie is Mulan. What if I gave you a very adjusted Mulan Steddie AU idea with a partial apocalypse, joining the army in place of someone you love, and an incredibly annoying voice in your ear who tells you what to say and do...
Eddie Munson is very much anti-war, thank you. He hates the army, hates the cops, tolerates Chief Hopper because he's cool, but overall authority? Nah, not for him. Eddie would never, ever join something violent and wear camo.
The world doesn't care about his preferences. When interdimensional rifts start popping up left and right and the whole planet is currently battling creatures pouring out of what is called the Upside Down dimension, every family has to send a man to join the war.
Eddie should not be joining anything. After a horrific car crash that nearly cost him his life, half of his torso is nothing but scars, his body is weak from spending months in the hospital, plus his aim is atrocious. But the government said someone needs to go, and his beloved uncle Wayne, the 50-ish man who looks like a nihilist but is secretly all the goodness in the world personified, is gearing up to go and serve his country. That just won't do.
He steals the letter ordering someone from the Munson family to join the Hawkins battlefield and prays that no one will have a chance to check his records. They probably won't, most of the documents for his town got burned to a crisp when a rift opened under the office. And because he knows absolutely nothing about the special Upside Down units he's about to join, he's doing what he knows the best - practicing by roleplaying. He's simulating small talk with "the boys". He's trying cheeky comebacks. And he's incredibly, cringe-inducingly bad at it.
Fortunately for him, or maybe not, he has a guardian angel, except the angel is a 13 year old kid he used to DM for. His name is Dustin and he's ruthless. When he stumbles upon Eddie's "Oh yeah, I used to play the ball in high school. Which ball? Uh...all the ball!", he announces Eddie is useless and gives him a small comm he's developed with his nerdy friends. "Don't worry," he says, "I will guide you through everything."
And Eddie believes it might be a good thing, that it might counterbalance his uncontrollable mouth, at least until the moment that he sees his sergeant, Steve Harrington. The guy is friendly, capable, tough as nails and incredibly, mind-numbingly pretty.
"Say good to meet you, sir!" the voice in his ear whispers.
Eddie opens his mouth to say exactly that. "Wow, aren't you a sight to behold, big boy!" is what ends up leaving it.
Dustin finds out the hard way that the barely functioning gay disaster Eddie Munson is impossible to guide through anything. He picks the lock to the showers after midnight to avoid showing his scars - or if he wanted to be honest, showering very heterosexually next to Steve fucking Harrington, the man who pulled him out of harm's way when Eddie messed up, and then nonchalantly produced a spiked bat and beat the creature preparing to snack on Eddie to a pulp.
"Why did you freeze when Steve was discussing tomorrow's mission?" Dustin hisses at him.
"You're not here, you twerp, you'd freeze too if you saw all that chest hair!"
Many things end up happening during the war of the worlds (cliché, but it works in Eddie's head). Eddie somehow ends up saving Steve's life by backing into a cassette player, turning it on and blasting "Master of Puppets" all over the battlefield, luring the creatures away from Steve's position. He tries to explain that it was an accident, but no one believes him.
Eddie notices that the creatures are invading in certain patterns. When people ask him how come he noticed something no one else did, he just shrugs and says: "it's what I would have done if I was running this as a campaign." He ignores Dustin's excited rambling about how cool the campaign would be and that Eddie definitely has to survive now.
Steve starts respecting him, even enjoying his company. How the hell did that happen. And there's definitely some tension between them, not the angry kind, and Eddie is taking cold showers now. For health reasons, obviously.
And finally, Eddie finds out that even if his aim sucks, he's pretty great with a flamethrower. They become unbeatable as a close range fighter duo with Steve.
Eventually, Eddie's insight combined with some secret government experimentation (they experimented on a kid? If it didn't work out so well, Eddie would have punched them and then set them on fire) end the war. The portals are closed, the remaining creatures gradually eliminated. Steve and Eddie are decorated as heroes and sent home. It's all very quick, very "let's not talk about this whole rift thing possibly being a government fault, nope!", Steve finally finds out about Eddie not being fit to serve and spirals into an absolute meltdown about endangering someone who was never supposed to fight in the first place. Eddie finds himself sitting on a bus home with a medal and a broken heart.
It's only a few days later, after Wayne's crushing hugs, scolding, well hidden tears and Dustin's constant visits, that someone knocks on his and Wayne's trailer door. It's Eddie's former sergeant Steve Harrington, wearing a soft yellow sweater and the cutest shy smile Eddie's ever seen. "Hi. Uh...I know it's difficult to make up for putting you through all that and not verifying your records. But..." he says and shushes Eddie when he tries to accept all the blame and get into a spiral of his own, "...I think a dinner would be a good start to that apology. How does that sound?"
Eddie grins at him and reaches for his hand. "I'd say you've got yourself a date, big boy."
#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#steddie#steddie drabble#steddie au#dustin henderson#mulan inspired#yeah Dustin serves in Mushu's role and he's about as useful as Mushu was#He actually instructed Eddie how to work the flamethrower so that was great#But other than that he'd spend decades bragging it was him who got Eddie and Steve together
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AITA for stopping the Clock?
I (46, M) have lived what could be referred to as a "charmed life" so far. The son of immigrant parents, yes, but having pretty much seamlessly integrated into the life of a privileged American, I was born with an unnaturally great well of intellectual potential that frequently alienated me from my schoolboy peers. I had a successful career in the field of crime prevention for many years, and, when the time came for me to retire early due to a federal conflict of interest, I used the renown I'd earned to get a leg up in the field of industry. For a fleeting moment, it felt as though I had no more worlds to conquer. But, as I soon remembered, there's no real point in trying to leave your mark on the world when the future of said world seemed as bleak as it seemed in those days.
I won't bore you by going over recent sociopolitical events; I'm sure you've been reading about it in the morning paper, where it's persistently made the front page at least once a week ever since the '79 bombing of Beirut. All you need to know is that I was just as scared of the looming threat of thermonuclear Armageddon as the average Joe. Hell, if anything, I was probably even more scared, as I was able to conceptualize what would happen to mankind afterwards. The thought of society being dragged back into the primitive Dark Ages because of the selfishness and hate of generals and politicians, instead of further being uplifted into a global technological utopia free of prejudice and despair, was almost too much for me to bear. I felt an irresistible need to do something before everything was destroyed.
Then, one night, I found myself watching reruns of an early '60s TV show called "the Outer Limits". I saw one particular episode, "the Architects of Fear", that depicted a world in a similar state to the one we're living in now, and the plan the scientists in the episode formulated to avert the crisis gave me an idea. The world needed a powerful enemy to unite against, one that belonged to no Earthly race, creed, or nation that could be vilified in the aftermath. The world needed an alien invasion. If the late Enrico Fermi was correct in his calculations, then that meant that there were no aliens to invade us.
And that meant that someone would have to make one instead.
I know, it sounds so cheesy, almost like something the villain of one of those old Republic film serials would come up with, but bear with me. I'd been researching the once-thought-impossible sciences of teleportation and bio-augmentation, both of which had been successful thus far, and had access to a remote and secluded location far from any government oversight. The plan was to create an entirely new organism impossible to recognize as anything originating on Earth, teleport it to the center of a globally-significant metropolitan area, and let the whole world unite to take it down. The death toll would be massive, yes, but it would be nothing compared to the billions in every nation that would be doomed to either suffer agonizing deaths from radiation poisoning or writhe mindlessly in unending post-civilization riots if the Doomsday Clock hit midnight and nuclear war broke out worldwide. Think of it like how fire departments sometimes use controlled burns to stop the progress of actual wildfires.
Of course, like all great plans, every part didn't line up exactly with what I'd accomplished. It was especially hard to find anyone actually willing to help me with it. Case in point: an old colleague of mine, Mr. B (61, M), just so happened to stumble across the location where I was growing the organism. He had previously served in the field of combat, as well as being a bit of a nihilist and a highly controversial figure in general, so I expected him to understand the necessity of fighting fire with fire, so to speak, or at least to find it bleakly funny and stay out of my way. To my surprise, he did neither of those. He called me a madman- a clear case of the pot calling the kettle black- and expressed his intention to go forward to the media with what he'd learned. I ultimately had to kill him to prevent him from telling everyone.
I barely had enough time to contemplate what I'd just done when another figure from my past, of whom I have even less positive things to talk about, came back into my life to inform me that he would be investigating the death of Mr. B- I never bothered to learn his name, so let's just call him "Mr. A" (probably older than me, M). Thankfully, the rude, unkempt, borderline insane little creep had a hypothesis entirely different as to what was going on, so I let him go in the moment and immediately set out to cover my tracks as best as I could. And I did a good job of it, too, if I do say so myself. I won't elaborate on exactly what happened, but I made several more morally-questionable decisions- and, in the end, it was enough for me to pull through. It was crazy enough to work, and it worked. I did it.
As soon as the organism was set loose, an outright homicidal Mr. A showed up at my front door, bringing with him even more ex-colleagues of mine- Mr. D (40, M), Ms. J (36, F), and, surprisingly, Dr. O (56-ish, M-ish), a man involved in an earlier step of my plan who, for a variety of reasons, I was genuinely frightened to see. The battle was brief and bloody, claiming the life of a beloved pet of mine as collateral damage. However, I was able to show them the fruits of my labour just in time- the entire world had lost track of its thoughts of war in light of the so-called invasion and was now discussing potential peace talks, effectively pausing the Doomsday Clock at a minute to midnight.
Seeing what potential damage to international geopolitics could be wrought if they blew the whistle on my plan, I shakily convinced Mr. D, Ms. J, and even Dr. O to leave peacefully, free to go their separate ways so long as they said nothing about the incident. Mr. A, however, stubborn and neurotic as he was until the bitter end, remained resolute in the idea of "bringing me to justice", even if it meant throwing the world away. I'll always remember, in my darkest nightmares, the look on his face when I was forced to have him killed, too- another sacrifice on the pile of progress. But it was over now. I pulled off an impossible deed, and the world was a better, stronger, more loving place for it.
And, yet, here's the rub. Now that all is said and done, I'm no longer certain that I did the right thing.
I sacrificed everything in the name of stopping the Clock and saving the human race from extinction. I killed both friend and foe, both innocent and guilty, and those who survived the whole ordeal will likely never speak to me again. Bodies beyond your wildest imaginings now fill the ruined streets, all dead by what was ultimately an extension of my hand. The only man fit to serve as the impartial judge of all the world is long gone, having left for someplace inaccessible to science, and I am haunted by his parting statement- that nothing ever ends.
Please, just tell me, even if in just some infinitesimal part, that what I did was worth it.
EDIT: I'm an idiot. A blind, idealistic idiot. They called me "the smartest man alive", and I was too stupid to realize that Mr. A was lucid enough to keep a diary. Since its publication, everybody knows who's typing this already. I no longer care about what you think of me. Judge me however you want. Nothing beside remains.
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💀
#original photographers#photographers on tumblr#my photos#fog#foggy#foggy aesthetic#nihilistic midnight
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𝑰𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑳𝑰𝑩𝑳𝑬 𝑩𝑳𝑶𝑶𝑫 𝑹𝑬𝑫 𝑳𝑰𝑷𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑪𝑲, 𝑰𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑬𝑫 — 𝑪𝑺 𝒇𝒊𝒄 💋
SUMMARY: A punch? A kiss? This is going to be hard to explain.
CHARACTERS: Chase, Carmen.
WORD COUNT: +1440
TW: Minor injuries.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first fic for carchase, I'm working on my pending wip's and I feel so excited to share them here soon :3 I may have misspellings cause' my mother language isn't english, is spanish so every correction is appreciated. Enjoy! :D
One of those hot nights on the Panamanian coast completed the midnight quarter with an incomparable stillness, with the morning bustle silenced, the waters of Balboa moved lulling the nearby undergrowth. Ships usually transit this international crossing in the early morning hours, making it safer for navigation.
Latin American cities sometimes die at night, the noise is saved for the big avenues and tourist areas.
Places of leisure such as plazas are usually deserted at this hour, parking complexes even more so.
Sometimes…
On the penultimate floor of the parking lot adjacent to a cluster of local markets the rhythmic sound of heels clicking on concrete became increasingly present, followed by a similar clacking but with a slightly heavier cadence.
The woman's glacier blue gaze slowly left the darkness of her wide-brimmed hat as she hurriedly advanced to a service light.
Maybe it was the humidity in the air of this city in the middle of the Caribbean, maybe the light blinded her, maybe it was the sound of her ex-partner stumbling…. But she got distracted.
In a second Carmen was thrown into the nearest wall, before she could even regain her composure Chase's strong arms wrapped around her. The master thief was between a conveniently long wall and the detective's muscular body. She couldn't help but roll her eyes sarcastically as she regulated her own breathing, Could there be a more perfect view?
"It's over Sandiego…" Chase caught his breath slower than he expected to, he'd been running after her for at least an hour, uphill. Oddly enough his combat boots didn't stand out in functionality compared to hers, long heeled boots, taller and thinner, Carmen Sandiego was definitely not a short woman but dear, those heels make her look almost her height, but after all he was a 6.2 foot man… a 6.2 foot man with a beautiful woman breathing against his chin. It's not like he was uncomfortable with this position but he had a work contract to fulfill.
He just needed to find the handcuffs…. Oh… Shit.
When he stumbled it could have been that the handcuffs had slipped from the pocket of his curiously empty leather jacket. He wasn't going to turn his head to test that theory, that would be exposing himself too much.
He wasn't going to let her steal his moment of victory either.
This was a victory, he was going to complete this mission even if he had to drag her to the police station. "And take that ridiculous smile off your face already"
"Now joy is a crime detective?"
"I wouldn't know when it comes to you Carmen"
"It's an involuntary response Chase, I can't help it"
"It's irritating. I don't see the point, I'm about to arrest you and there's nothing you can do about it" Carmen could tease him just by blinking if she put her mind to it, he knew her well and she wouldn't waste the slight migraine growing alongside her satisfied grimace.
"It's all that negativity here" Carmen's hand lifted and her delicate gloved fingers touched his forehead playfully, "I told you pessimism is not your style, you're more stoic than nihilistic"
"One moment of silence Carmen, just one" He pleaded, not wanting to claim the ease with which she read and interpreted him. He spread his hands apart to accommodate himself, comfortable to hold her against the wall, lousy at reaching for the handcuffs on the other side of the parking lot.
Devineaux's tired eyes were drawn to a glint between the fabric of her coat, a ruby necklace, too luxurious to not be stolen, peeked out from her covered cleavage, somehow justification enough to not admit she caught him staring at her breast and distracting enough for him to not notice the small object in the thief's hands.
When he raised his hand to touch her Carmen grabbed it and elbowed her free from his grip, only to feel the detective's hands cling to her waist and be thrown back against the wall, slightly harder than the last time. Partially immobilized, Carmen realized that her hat was a few feet away from her, along with the tear gas and smoke bombs.
Damn it.
When she turned her eyes back to Chase she noticed his face dangerously close, his hazel eyes staring at her, still unable to decide if he was fed up or willing to play, hopefully he hadn't realized he had just disarmed her.
The detective's lip was bleeding a little from the blow but the force with which he held her did not diminish, this time taking the precaution of sticking his body a little closer to hers to prevent her from trying anything again.
"That was a stupid move detective"
Chase rolled his eyes and decided to stroke her ego.
"What do you think is further away from us, my handcuffs or your pretentious little toys? We are both unarmed Carmen and at least I have the willingness to make another… stupid move"
The comment had the desired effect, and Carmen turned her face slightly, but still smiling.
It was usual for Carmen to be childish suddenly, she liked competition and from the days they shared a dorm at ACME he knew she was a bad loser.
With a hard hit with her knee she managed to make the man squirm, but no matter how hard she struggled he wouldn't let her go. It went on and on until the woman gave up resisting the forces of fate. Perhaps she required a new strategy. Lennon used to say yes to love and no to war, he must have been right.
The red on the man's lower lip was bright, quite similar to the crimson hue of hers, as if she had kissed him savagely. "You're only going to hurt yourself Carmen, stop fighting, it takes more than your smug little phrases and bare legs to make me-"
Carmen decided to use what she had to her advantage, her physical attractiveness and a handsome man who was trying hard to hide that he wanted her. Without letting him think and wrapping her arms around the back of his neck, she pulled him into a sudden, impetuous kiss.
The detective held his breath for a second, then let himself go. Carmen caught him, holding him against her until he was dizzy.
She could taste the metallic tang of his blood on her tongue and licked it from his lips as she watched Chase, stunned and pleasantly surprised.
"And you haven't even taken my coat off yet"
With a mischievous grin softening his rough features, Chase wiped the reddish stain on his lips with the back of his hand and stared at her.
"… Is that all you've got, Carmen?"
The master thief copied his challenging expression and went straight into his arms, his soft lips opened to let her manipulate him.
Devineaux spun her around to hold her against the cold concrete wall again as his hands began to move over her.
Carmen lifted one leg over the detective's hip, Chase took his time running his fingers over the skin under the long opening of the coat, his hand moved up, to her arm, to her face, stopping at her lips as they broke another violent kiss.
"I'd appreciate it if you'd stay that way" He pressed her, in response the woman arched against him and rested her wrists against his shoulders, they were still quite close.
"Pourquoi?" she licked her lips as she let out the last syllable.
"Because it's easier for me to keep an eye on you"
Chase was trying to sound aloof but wow, if he was going to get fired for having a quick time with a pretty criminal he'd make it worth it.
He buried his head in her luxuriant hair, kissing the perfumed skin of her neck and causing the woman in his arms to cling to his leather covered shoulders with no eagerness to suppress the spasms coursing through her.
"You enjoy it don't you dear?" The teasing tone in Carmen's eager voice only turned him on.
"It's certainly disgusting." He lied for the sake of teasing her.
"Then why do you keep doing it?" the woman squirmed as the detective's lips found their way to her mouth.
"To keep you quiet" Letting her release a sensual giggle he returned to silence her, kissing her again and again. His hands passed freely under the ruby necklace that had gotten him into this, truthfully he wouldn't mind investigating a little more if it was stolen as long as he could repeat this experience a few more times.
#it was supposed to be sweeter but i wrote this listening to marinaaa so 🤭 things happen#chase devineaux#carmen sandiego#carchase#carmeneaux#carmenaux#chase x carmen#carmen x chase#90s carmen sandiego#netflix carmen sandiego#carmen sandiego 2019#my fic#my writing#indelible blood red lipstick indeed fic
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𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
Includes all my stories and some of my current drafts!!
I'll be updating this as stuff changes! I also add things like some other drafts when I've fully developed them
ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅʀᴀɢᴏɴ/ᴀꜱᴏɪᴀꜰ
DNA|Sec.80 high power [ONGOING]
This is the story of Lady Rhaella Targaryen the I;the strange one and her role in the Dance Of Dragons. Loved by few and feared by many.
The blood of the dragon runs in Targaryen's veins. Something else runs in Rhaella.
BLACK TARGARYEN OC/READER
PARINGS: Aemond,Cregan,slight Jace,slight Addam,original charecter
Pit Of Vipers[draft, published on Wattpad]
Nerissa Velaryon. Siren of Driftmark A septa The reluctant bride The Viper Queen
A girl fashioned from water and fire; One that shines the brightest.
❝ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʀᴀɢᴇ ꜱᴏ ᴜɢʟʏ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪꜱɴ'ᴛ ɪᴛ ᴍɪɴᴇ, ꜱᴛɪʟʟ? ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴅꜱ ɪᴛ ɪꜱ ᴍɪɴᴇ.❝
A story of a brutally soft woman thrown to the vipers, how in the seven hells is she meant to survive?
PARINGS: Rhaenyra, Alicent, OC, slight Harwin Strong
MIDNIGHT MASS
Hungry Work[DRAFT]
A Midnight Mass Fanfic
PARING: BLACK OC X PRIEST JOHN/PAUL HILL
TW: Dark themes, Sacrilegious, sexual themes, overall freakydeakyism, heavy religious trauma, obsessive themes, actually triggering
❝ɢᴏᴅ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ɪɴ ᴍʏꜱᴛᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱ ᴡᴀʏꜱ .❝
❝ ʜᴏʟʏ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ꜱᴏ ꜱɪᴄᴋ ᴏꜰ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴛᴇʟʟɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ.❝
𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄. A woman looking for a life completely opposite to her own. Something foreign to what she had previously known--- To be free from it all.
THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES
Winner Takes All[TEMP HIATUS]
Synopsis: You are Sejanus’s best friend. Coriolanus is not.
You are the smartest in your class. Coriolanus is not.
But why does it feel as though you always loose to him?
You can’t this time, the Plinth Prize is yours. And absolutely nothing is getting in the way of what’s yours. Except maybe Coriolanus.
Parings: Sejanus x obsessive! Black fem! reader, Coriolanus x black female! reader, Treech x black fem reader
TW: Dark themes,death,smut,blood,obsession(from the reader and Coryo),manipulation,classism(the reader is not a great person!), nihilistic themes.
THE ACOLYTE
The Power of Two(PUBLISHED,ONGOING)
A Star Wars Fanfic
In which a Jedi faces her dark side
OR
In which Rune finally figures out what she is missing
PARINGS: BLACK OC/QIMIR,SLIGHT YORD,OSHA/JECKI
#house of the dragon#black oc#oc character#aemond targaryen#black reader#daemon targaryen#baela targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#aemond x reader#midnight mass#midnight mass x reader#treech tbosas#tbosas#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#fanfiction#masterlist#fanfic#sejanus plinth x reader#coriolanus x you#coriolanus smut#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus fanfiction#priest smut#star wars the acolyte#star wars fanfiction#star wars#the acolyte fanfiction#the acolyte#qimir the stranger#qimir
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A Little Moxxie Love:Morningstar Delights
Ask anyone in Hell Especially within all of the pride circle, from Imp city to pentagram city what the biggest joke around was? And chances are the more cynical nihilists and sinners would tell you it was Princess Charlemagne Morningstar’s (Charlie to those of a more intimate, affectionate and informal nature) personal pet passion project, The Happy Hotel (or Hazbin depending who you asked). Really a hotel for rehabiltating and redeeming sinners to get them into Heaven? The very idea was to some a bad punchline but all the same she herself believed in it wholeheartedly.
Call her a naive dreamer or a hopeless fool, it was her dream and she felt any sinner could be redeemed. But of course she ahd some people who even if they didn't quite share the sentiments, they were more than ready to be ride or die for the princess of hell. Particularly and especially her girlfriend Vagatha, or Vaggie as she preferred, even if she did wish Charlie would downplay her whole vibe of being what basically happened if Hell had a Disney princess. But Vaggie loved Charlie of course and she was more often than not willing to do whatever was asked of her...but sometimes she wondered if this was a case where she definitely had to put her foot down and just say NO, absolutely not!!
Vaggie:*Blushing up a storm as Charlie was busy adjusting her ensemble. The lacey white lingerie hugging her figure quite generously.*"Seriously, how did I let you talk me into this again? Right about now I'd actually rather be stuck in a room with Angel...and that's saying something..."*Oh she already knew the answer of course. It's because she could never say no to Charlie especially when she flashed those big ol' puppy eyes of hers.*
Charlie:*her ever present energetic grin on her sunny face as she finished, looking her girlfriend and herself over. Her own black lace lingerie really highlighting her alabaster complexion and making for a matching compliment to her lover.* "Vag, I guarantee it, once you meet and get to know this guy, you're gonna adore him. After all, wouldn't you like to rub it in Angel's face if he ever again asked you "if you had to pick a dude?" *Charlie wasn't surprised to find Vaggie mull it over of course, knowing it'd be one of her few spiteful perks just to stick it to Angeldust. Plus this was all on the downlow so no risk of gossip save for a select few sworn to secrecy...under penalty of death, because come on, this is Lucifer and Lilith's little princess after all!!*
Well the death penalty was more Alastor's idea...or a joke, it was ll the same with the Radio Demon host, but he assured any and everyone under the roof of the Hotel would keep their knowledge if any about this secret as can be. Yes somehow even Nifty would be on her best behaviour as the couple turned their heads to a knock on the door, signalling their secret guest had arrived and on time with a few minutes to spare, talk about punctual. Charlie giving herself and her girlfriend a quick look over in their rather stylish lacey lingerie ensembles, snow white for Vaggie and silky midnight black for herself, she had originally wanted to try something like naughty nun outfits but her girlfriend vetoed that option. Mainly because the one eyed girl knew her self control would lose itself at the sight of the princess of hell in such a thing, God help her....
Charlie:*eagerly clapping with excitement as she went over to answer, opening to greet none other than Millie and Moxxie, the latter looking like he'd be walking the Green Mile and the former well as spunky and feisty as ever.*"Hiiiiiii, so wonderful to see you guys here safe and sound, I hope it wasn't too much trouble?"*Greeting and welcoming the pair into the room like the chipper hostess she was as she closed the door behind them, locking it up after putting out a do not disturb sign of course. No uncomfortable silence left hanging in the air as the Wrath imp spoke up in response.*
Millie:”Ooh not at all though uuuh Angeldust and your cleaning lady did try flirting with Moxxie but can’t say I’m not flattered, jsut can’t get sidetracked now can we?”*She and Charlie shared an amused giggle while Moxxie just blushed recalling that brief encounter. Oh yes the porn star snd the shortstack cyclops we’re about as subtle and direct as getting hide on the side of the skull with a gold brick. The imp of course did his best not stare too much at the princess of hell who was hot as all well,you know, in ehr lingerie. Which was mission impossible of course given Vaggie was in a similar matching set of her own, looking stunning in spite of her own conflicted expression.*
Vaggie of course rolled her eyes at the antics of her girlfriend snd the spunky little imp who she conspired with to make this little arrangement happen. Frankly it was an infernal miracle they got anyone in the hell to agree to a nondisclosure agreement, after all the tabloids especially the Vox media would have a field day about the scandal of the princess of hell and her fallen angel lover having a four way with a married pair of imps!! Seemed even Alastor was willing to look the other way, that grinning radio voodoo troll, so that was a small relief. The one eyed Latino girl clearing her thoughts as she decided to help ease Moxxie of any sense of doubt or discomfort he was doubtless having about this.
Vaggie:”Yeah hey listen I know this might be a weird enough situation but hey best we can do is try and enjoy it, right?” *She had to admit, the imp was a plenty easy on the eyes at least. Not to mention he wasn’t some pretentious blowhard trying to play Casanova in spite of having reputation for really getting around. Seems his wife was one very kinky imp as she and Charlie watched any possible interaction pending between their significant others with eagerness and anticipation.*”Alright you two, settle down and let’s just get this show on the road huh?” *The Hispanic angel quipped good naturedly as she and Charlie went to sit on the edge of the queen sized bed. Poses casual yet sultry as they waited for Moxxie to come join them, the sweet little possum looking nervous but accepting his fate as he began to strip down to his boxers.*
Millie squirmed with giddy delight and skyrocketing arousal as she anticipated what was sure to be a quite the show. Vaggie and Charlie humming and aweing as they took in admiring view of Moxxie’s body, for such a runty guy he wasn’t a skinny twig boy that was for sure. Hell he hand a body that could look good especially when cross dressing, that was a level of sexy few could pull off. His modesty maintained only by his boxers as he joined them on the bed, sitting in between the couple as he felt like a mouse cornered by a pair of hungry cats.
Naturally Charlie felt it was natural to seize some initiative and set the mood to ease their little gentleman’s anxiety,as she and Vaggie slid off of their mattress seat to have their faces level with crotch. Kneeling on the floor as they grasped the waistband of his boxers to tug them down swiftly, eyes widening as Charlie gasped in awe while Vaggie felt her jaw drop. They’d seen plenty of dicks, more than they really ever wanted or needed to thanks to Angel’s bright idea of sharing some of his work for show and tell, but even the few imps on screen hadn’t been packing like this!! If anything they had to wonder how Moxxie wasn’t making a living as a porn with length and girth like this, Christ on a stick even that douchebag Adam would feel like an inadequate pencil dick if he ever saw this cock.
Before Vaggie herself eben realised it, she was finding herself stroking and jerking off that alpha male shaft hand in hand with Charlie and performing a tandem fellatio on the imp. Angelic and demonic lips and tongues assaulting that veiny piece of womb hammering infernal heaven with licks kisses as they sucked and blew on it from tip to balls. Millie shamelessly plunging her hands down the front of her pants as she flicked her bean with voyeuristic relish as the princess of hell and her lover got acquainted with her Moxxie, his groans music to her ears and knowing it was omly going to get better from here. Especially once the duo took off their bras, exposing their quite stunning sets of tits and began to give her hubby a boob job.
She was right of course as the room was soon filled with the erotic rhythm of skin slapping on skin and the music of moans of rapture and ectasy. The shortstack wrath imp filled naked and playing with herself as she soaked her seat with her sweat and juices but not as much as Moxxie was making on the bedsheets. The imp on his back as Charlie sat in his face, using his horns ago steady herself as she rode on his tongue while Vaggie howled lustfully as she bounced snd rode that twitching cock. Her ash skinned booty jiggling and clapping with every impact against those smooth red balls as she and Charlie kissed, making out as their tongues danced while their bodies were rocked with the pleasure of this lewd round of taboo fun. Orgasms hitting them one after another and it was only going to be wilder.
From Moxxie fucking one of them doggy or missionary while eating the other out to taking turns one on one when the other needed to recover, it was the kind of action Valentino couldn’t choreograph into any of his trashy smut. Which only got more intense once Millie jumped into the fray literally and figuratively as the show before her got her all good and horny. The misfit staff and guests of the Hazbin Hotel blinking as they felt the building shake, the muffled echoes of this secret foursome heard throughout. And it showed no signs of stopping as they went from noon to sunset, then all night long until sunrise when it finally became quiet.
The morning rays of what passed for a sun in Hell cast a warm glow in the room, which itself looks like a tornado had passed through it. A pile of bodies consisting of two imps , a demon princess and a fallen angel basking in the afterglow as Millie laid atop her man and the princess and her lover spooned him, snuggling him like a plush toy. Vaggie thinking that sure, her girlfriend was one for her wild ideas but when they worked out, they worked out. So if Charlie ever asked if she’d uo for a repeat performance like this? She’d down for it as bad as Husk was for a bottle of cheap booze.
Now of course here was hoping that word of this never got around to Lucifer, sure the guy was accepting of her and Charlie together but it could be hard to tell what crossed the line for him. Besides which, no way they were letting a hair be harmed on Moxxie’s sweet little head, you didn’t get an imp dick like this every lifetime. To say nothing of what Millie would do, it was said she had quit the temper. God himself would certainly not want her on a warpath, that’s for sure…
#sketchfan#sketchfanda#sketchfan85#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#charlie morningstar#charlemagne#vaggie#vaggatha#moxxie#helluva millie#millie#helluva moxxie#helluva boss millie#helluva boss moxxie
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Hello! Can I get a number nine large style with ketchup in the form of a cool little mustache? (Joking aside, may we please have a Wilford Warfstache fictive? Many pronouns/ transids! Thank you in advance!)
And he is the dancing queen..!! Wait, What?
One little burger with an accompanied WARFstache; An alter Inspiration pack dedicated to the man of manys hearts, Wilford Warfstache!
I have grown to deeply love wilford again while researching. Thank u dear customer. Sniffles.
TW FOR: Unreality Mentions
⋆₊ ♱ names: Wilford, William, Walker, Weston, Rowan/Roe, Ezra, Cosmo/Cosmic, Elude, Warpped/Timewarp, Maxmillian, Graham, Reality
⋆₊ ♱ age: Ageless, ParadoxiAge, Perci-28
⋆₊ ♱ gender: Male, Mascthing, WarfstacheGender, HeartLover, PinkBodiment, ScribbleGender, OdddreamsGender, DeadThing, InfinityThing, Highspiritgender
⋆₊ ♱ pronouns: He/They/It/Nix/Trick/Disc/Photo/Pink/:3/Shimmer/Realities/Thaer/Faer/Voids/Fakeds/Xirself/Cutself/Gunself/Impulseself
⋆₊ ♱ source: Who Killed Markiplier?, Wilford 'Motherloving' Warfstache, The Warfstache Affair
⋆₊ ♱ species: Inhuman, "Faker". Falls under the catagory of human presenting, but with source context, just isnt human.
⋆₊ ♱ relationship ids: Hyperromantic, Fickleromantic (Will love but it doesnt last long, quickly fades away), PlayfulRomantic (Love is simply a game to play), Asexual
⋆₊ ♱ cis-ids: Trigger Happy, Positive Outlook(?), Korean, Journalist, Optimistic Nihilist, Delusional, Unpredictable, Black Hair, Well Dressed, Caluculated, Pinksoul, Smart, Manipulator, Manipulative, Pleasing, Reality Distorter
⋆₊ ♱ trans-ids: Fult Leader, Omniscient, TransMultisex, Pinkglitterbloodic, TransHighPainTolerance, TransHyperVerbal, TransStoryteller, TransAuthor, TransAnisohormal, TransSystem-role, TransInternalHelper
⋆₊ ♱ extra-ids: PermaFlamboyant, PermaImpulsive, PermaMultiverse, Perma70'sMentality, PermaPinkstache
⋆₊ ♱ roles: Unreality Holder & Experiencer, Pseudonaut, Exposurist, Spoons Regenerator, Battery, Rose-tinted Vision, Advocate, Impulse Enactor
⋆₊ ♱ triggers:
Pos: Amnesia Was Her Name, Pink Things, 70's Aesthetics, Chaos & Mayhem, Breaking the 4th Wall, Dancing, Pink Glitter, Strawberry Smoothies, A Man after Midnight
Neu: Video Killed the Radio Star, Attention/Affection, Acknowledging his source, Cramped Spaces, Family Albums
Neg: Guns/Gunshot's, Being Ignored, Being called Colonel, Cigarette Smoke, Abandoned Buildings
⋆₊ ♱ extra: Rose-tinted vision, an alter role/quirk where their mentality and role revolve around viewing the world through Rose-tinted glasses. A pleasant outlook, looking for the good things.
⋆₊ ♱ faceclaim:
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greetings and salutations, hope I don’t bother you too much by sending in such a random ask. may I please have a romantic matchup for COD? Feel free to send one back in return.
I use they/them pronouns and I’m pansexual. my myers briggs type is INFJ and my star sign is taurus.
Im about 4’11..not to happy about it. I’m kind of introverted, and can be considered not a people person. I find life a little nihilistic. I’m into dressing in all black (trad, mopey, mall, black-metal, and hippie goth styles mainly, both fem and masc. chill days I settle for dark street wear. ) or and taking a liking to gruesome and morbid things like slashers, analog horror, witchcraft, true crime, ghost hunting, necromancy, anatomy, etc. I typically consider myself a "gorehound" ig. I participate in "Vulture Culture"; and I also like to visit abandoned places just for fun, along with playing quite a few escape rooms. I’ve also been trying to start a knife collection, but can’t ever seem to find the money to. (Butterfly knives and ritual daggers are my favorites.). I just have a genuine comfort in the uncomfortable.
I’ve come to the conclusion I just scare people off. In reality, I’m intimidated by everyone around me and find it hard to start talking, which may or may not come off as rude to people.
when I become comfortable with someone I start to become really sarcastic and joke around with them with witty banter. most of my humor comes off really insulting, and I’m brutally honest, but I’ll apologize and say it’s a joke or I didn’t mean it. though if I’m right a become a petty bitch..and quite honestly I’m vengeful to anyone who’s really wronged me. even though I do have a hard time understanding social cues.
lots of people don’t like me or stay away from me because of my rude behavior. I’m not good with overly sensitive or overly annoying people at all because of that, and I can’t stand kids or conformists. Idiocy can get on my nerves too sometimes. I’m a huge animal person though, and I own a herd of four guinea pigs that I protect with my life. I have my moments where I can get really feisty, or very quiet and closed off. I’ve been told I’m also a laidback person. I’ve also been told I never know when to quit, and I find I hold grudges for certain things. It’s not as common now but I used to get called a vampire by other kids when I was younger since I had oddly pointy canine teeth. I find it funny, seeing how I am today. I also have an inside joke with my family where they call me "Irl Wednesday Addams" which I find funny too (if not a little annoying at the wrong times).
I’m the type of person that has lots of opinions on things but I keep them to myself and bottle them up. If pushed far enough I’ll become unforgiving, and aggressive. especially with the types of people mentioned above.
I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing, listening to music ( the cure, london after midnight, type o negative, deftones, slipknot, rob zombie,,,, sometimes melanie martinez , insane clown posse, jazmin bean or mother mother, etc. ), or even occasionally playing video games, reading, writing, or talking about a random conspiracy theory or shower thoughts I have. I also like to play D&D with my friends when I can, it’s super fun. I’m an actor and dancer, and I’m learning how to play electric guitar. I mostly work as a scare actor, and in the future I have a dream of being a broadway actor. I also take dance and singing classes for it, though dance isn’t as interesting to me.
I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one of them. I find it because I’m really touch starved. I also have this specific blanket I can literally not sleep without. Im also a caffeine addict (97% of my body is just iced coffee tbh), and I’m guilty of being very submissive and maybe even masochistic- and a bit of a pyromaniac. I dissociate or daydream a lot, so you can often catch me starring.
I suffer from a handful off mental issues like asd, hypersomnia, depression and anxiety; plus chronic conditions like gerd, asthma and hypoglycemia. These have all been diagnosed professionally, and I’m definitely not trying to make myself "quirky". unfortunately health problems run in my family.
I’m very fidgety, and often bite the inside of my cheek or bounce my leg rapidly. you don’t need to rocmantasize this stuff ofc, but I think it’s good to know so the person can tolerate me.
you do get to this, thanks for your time. <3
[ @br4inr0tx - tagging you so you won't miss it ] note - i will probably send you my request soon :) that is a long and detailed description you brought here, i hope i'll fulfill your expectations :(( I'm sorry if not tho :(( [crying in "i'm just a small, poor creator that doesn't know how to write"] ANYWAYS, NO MORE SELF-PITY, LET'S GET TO IT!!!
!!!!!!!! NOT PROOFREAD, SORRY :((( !!!!!!!!
WHY I DIDN'T CHOOSE OTHER CHARACTERS!
❝ I’m not good with overly sensitive or overly annoying people at all because of that, and I can’t stand kids or conformists. ❞
Well, since we're here for headcanons and things that we think might be true, then I have to tell you that I believe JOHN PRICE would definetely want kids in the future. It probably wouldn't work out any other way. [ I also have a feeling that he would be a bit scared of you. Like I don't think he'd find comfort in the same things you do, he would probably consider you a little weird, but he'd be supportive, like a dad, but not like a lover.]
❝ I suffer from a handful off mental issues like asd, hypersomnia, depression and anxiety; plus chronic conditions like gerd, asthma and hypoglycemia. ❞
I just KNOW that MAKAROV would consider you as weak and worthless. I'm sorry, I do not mean to be seen as insensitive but let's be reallistic - he is a psychopath and he'd just laugh at you and your conditions. That would probably not work out. [I think he'd also make fun of your plushies and the fact that you are small. The only thing you guys would do is fighting over nothing probably...]
❝ though if I’m right a become a petty bitch..and quite honestly I’m vengeful to anyone who’s really wronged me. even though I do have a hard time understanding social cues. ❞
GHOST is a really cold, harsh person at first. Your first contact would probably be brutal and then you'd guys hate each other, no one would be able to apologize first. Simon is not good at understanding social cues so he would think that you are mad at him, and you would probably think he hates you so you'd never talk about it and miss your chance.
AND FOR A BIG RESULT...DUM DUM DUM....
VALERIA GARZA
That might be a bit of a surprise for you, but I hope my analisys of your description matches your expectations of a person you wanted to be matched with...at least a lil bit :) I have a feeling that Valeria would consider you a little weird at first, but definetely not scary. She is not easy to scare away and I think she'd think that your performance skills could actually be useful (I talk about your acting career etc.) and she would probably like your sense of style.
She's a fighter and is surrounded by harsh, rude people so your insulting jokes would probably make her laugh and she wouldn't even wait a second before sending back an equally brutal joke towards you. I think that when Valeria would fall for you, she'd actually could get really touchy so that would solve your touch starvation problem, she'd make sure that everyone around you knows that you're her. " I’m guilty of being very submissive and maybe even masochistic " - great! Because Valeria would never let anyone top her :) And if you'd let her, she will actually make it hurt as much as you'd want.
Also don't you worry about your condidions around her, she'd educate herself. She'd care, she'd make sure you feel comfortable and safe. Sometimes she might not be there for you since she's a really busy person but she has money for the best doctors in the world so if anything happens - there will always be someone to take care of you. Valeria has seen lots of weird, scary things in her life so slashers, horrors and gore is not moving her anymore. She'd watch your favorite series with you, maybe not enjoying them AS MUCH as you do, but as long as she can spend time with you - she's satisfied. Knife collection? I'm sure she has one of her own and she'd gladly give you one or two knifes just for you :) She'd also buy you the ones you'd want.
thank you for reading! signed TEASER 👽👽👽
#cod x reader#call of duty x reader#valeria garza#valeria x reader#teaser.matchups#teaser.writing.cod#cod x you#call of duty x you
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