#nhs positive
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Spent most of this week living up to my username and having crippling acute anxiety symptoms.
The paranoid delusions were a trip.
Iāve been back in my own head for a couple of days now and honestly shoutout to the people in NHS mental health services who are really really trying despite devastating budget and resource cuts.
Yeah I know mental healthcare in the UK is pretty garbage overall but in my acute phase, I canāt fault any of them. Youāre all heroes and Iām sorry you arenāt given the tools you need to help people.
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from this poll
#closeness has nothing to do with depth of affection!!! don't come at me about the Nie Bros.!!#they love each other SO MUCH but boy oh boy do they misunderstand each other until it's too late!#meanwhile (not unlike NMJ) WQ has posited herself so firmly in the position of WN's protector that he can't fully know her#I debated the entire day about the placements for the Wen sibs + Lan sibs + Nie sibs#but went with these bc LXC and LWJ are at least fully aware of each other's close personal relationships#whereas WN has no idea about WQ and the comb (and very possibly no idea about how WRH uses him to keep WQ in line)#and NHS and NMJ keep hella secrets from each other even after their heart-to-heart in Fatal Journey#(in case it wasn't obvious: this is for CQL canon specifically do NOT bring novel canon into my home at this time)
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Concept: LQR big naturals but also with the flattest ass. Make him a titty dorito
Lan Qiren Breasted Boobily down the stairs of Cloud Recess
[First]Ā PrevĀ <ā-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#MDZS#wei wuxian#lan qiren#jiang cheng#nie huaisang#lan wangji#lan xichen#bonus comic#The trio gets away with all the hijinks because the sound of their headmaster's big baps alert them to his positioning#and provide bountiful shade#ANON.....I am so sorry for how long I had you waiting for a reply#I wanted to wait until I had introduced NHS and it took a while to get to that point#I bounced back and forth between whether this was funnier with or without the twin jades being present but I like them being there#their inclusion makes it more relevant to where we are at in the story#and i guess this sets up the next comic (which had its spot stolen by this) pretty well?#I don't know if LQR's honkers are gonna stick around in my comics; even if it makes for good comedy#I so deeply love the big naturals meme. So of *course* I was going to draw this#Oh Oh OH Speaking *of*#theres one tumblr user who i see in my activity feed who always makes my day more than anyone else#If you're out there....yodas big naturals.....Thank you for making me laugh
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My dad keeps texting me about monkey pox saying it's all blown out of proportion and it's crazy that everyone's making such a fuss about it and "the government's preparing lockdowns" because "the WEF wants to control us all" and I'm like, I read the news in 3 different languages from 3 different countries and literally no one is talking about this, what are you on about
#chough chatterings#i think i saw one short article ages ago on the beeb but other than that??#i guess it's slow season for conspiracy theorists huh#he sent me a screenshot of a very obviously fake NHS posting for a job position for 'choreographers to entertain during lockdowns'#and i'm like ????? you run an IT company how do you even think for a moment this is legit??#the font and line spacing were inconsistent! the language was inappropriate for a job ad!#i googled the title of the ad and i got zero results!
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11.10.24
I had my pain clinic assessment and got diagnosed with fibromyalgia!
(Further update will follow)
#donāt know if itās healthy to be so happy about being diagnosed with a vague incurable and little understood condition#but itās taken 8 years to get a valid diagnosis that the NHS accepts#they didnāt say it was all psychological this time#personal#chronic pain#fibromyalgia#not-so-daily positives#woohoo#validation
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cricopharyngeal spasm my fucking beloathed. it keeps flaring up really bad every time I have to swallow a pill and then it feels sort of like the pill is stuck in my throat and sort of like someone's trying to strangle me and like, logically I know the pill isn't stuck and I'm fine but god it sucks.
I have to take pain meds several times a day again because we have multiple teeth with cavities and I'm getting closer and closer to being in as much pain as I was back in June and I'm taking almost as much pain medication again and I get panicky every time the pain flares up and I have to take them and I'm sure that's not helping with the cricopharyngeal spasm either because it's usually triggered by stress.
we've got some kind of cold or something and getting showered earlier completely wiped us out and then we've also got all this other shit and I just want a fucking break from whatever the fuck has been happening with our health this year
#personal#thoughts#š¬ post#vent post#posts made on pain meds#addiction mention#I'm really careful about staying below the maximum safe dosages for the pain meds#but I'm still terrified of the potential side effects from taking them this much for this long#I don't want to be in this position but I can't do anything about it because there weren't any appointments available sooner#and if I don't take pain meds I end up in so much pain I can't function#and end up getting flashbacks to both stuff from the summer and that one incident with the dentist that traumatised us to all fuck#and somehow this is still a better situation than if I were getting treatment through the NHS#because if that were the case I'd still be waiting to get the fucking wisdom teeth out#and would therefore still be dealing with the fucking abscesses that just kept coming back over and over
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Once again I'm thinking that if Arvis and JGY met they'd have about two minutes of deep kinship before realizing they're horrified by one another's choices and priorities
Except their daddy and mommy issues, which are strikingly similar for their situations being so objectively different. And excel sheets. Arvis would have loved excel sheets.
They have so much and so little in common
#i know fe5 gives arvis a first-born but i think arvis doesn't know the kid exists#arvis apologism on main#arvis' horror at jgy's treatment of his son vs jgy's disgust of the same#jgy's disgust as arvis' marriage#do you think jgy would imagine being in azelle's position#except azelle would remind him of nhs#i think he would qi deviate on the spot
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after like 2 years im finally back on hormones :)
#long story short i lost my job so i couldnt afford them privatly anymore#and the nhs is the nhs#but im finally in a position to pay for them again :)#transgender#trans
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anyway I'm getting referred to a specialist supposedly to fix the tooth problem they found back in January, it'll be a root canal, crown, and surgery to fix the infection in my jaw under the damaged nerve :( it'll be around Ā£800-Ā£1300 they said so I had better start saving!!!!
#I'm always trying to save but. yikes. I am so so so so so glad that I'm not in the same financial position as I was until 2022#like it's money I don't have. but I can put it on my credit card and pay it back slowly. in 2021 there would not have been enough spare#personal#also if it's on the NHS then it'll probably be another 6 months or so until I actually get treated so ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
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ooo for the fic title ask game. "And Then There Were None" :D
Thank you! :D
I'm so tempted to go for the Agatha Christie AU and stick blorbos on an island to be picked off one by one
but let's make things sad instead :D
the fic I would write with this title would be a character study about loss and deteriorating relations. They start off with a great support network! They have family and friends! But time passes. Things change. Family becomes harder to relate to. Siblings have their own lives. Friends grow apart. People fight. People die. You've made mistakes. Some can't be fixed. Some you're afraid to. You've changed. Or maybe you're the only one who hasn't.
Once there were many.
And then there were none.
#fic title game#i think for mdzs this would fit lxc or nhs best#but i can think of some other fandoms that have a fitting character too#for tgcf probably pei ming#or xie lian but with a positive ending since he finds connections again#this topic hits in a very close place for me though so i probably wouldn't be able to write it orz
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#yeah heās made another great album :ā)#every song is either v uplifting and positive or just simping for his gf itās so cute#i wish it was longer :( but itās very cohesive and a strong theme and message so i understand#love how he was complaining that we always see him as vanilla but this album just proved it more LOL#niall horan#nh#Spotify
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my day was kinda bad except i acquired leather jacket . and it looks really good on me and apparently is a good color for me <3. all i need is to find a carabiner and i will have the entire butch fit lol.
#my posts#its tighter than most of my clothes which takes getting used to. nh#but its so gender affirming!!!! <3#positivity
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So the x-ray went fucking terribly
#it didnāt start off too badly. the waiting room was clean and the receptionist wasnāt the usual demon receptionist you get in a medical#setting. and the x-ray tech or nurse or whoever she was came to get me in good time#she said āellen lastname?ā i said āhiā she said āhi; please follow meā so i did#then i discovered we were going to a linen cupboard because it was labelled as linen cupboard. i was like. i hope thatās not a sign#of things to come. it was though. i had to take my trousers off and wear this stupid fucking hospital gown that didnāt close properly#in the back. what is it about medical professionals and wanting everybody to have their butts out??? i mean luckily i wear the largest#underwear on planet fucking earth but. WHY. and THEN sheās looking at my knee going āwhatās this blue stuff?ā#i say āitās tape. my physiotherapist put it onā she says āyou need to take it offā i say āi cannot take it off. iād have to soak it for#an hour. and something tells me thatās not a good use of nhs time and resourcesā sheās like āokay fineā#does any of this make sense to you guys btw???? like this x-ray machine can look through my skin. why canāt it look through clothes and TAPE#also iām not taking off my sports tape for you because my skin will come with it. my physio lady was pretty adamant about that#she said ādo not rip it off i have seen skin injuries you wouldnāt believeā i was like āi am so with you chiefā#so then the actual x-ray starts and this woman is So vague with me about how i need to hold my body. plus it was hot as fuck in this room#and i was trying to hold this stupid little gown together while also holding myself in a really unnatural position#sheās saying ārelaxā and āstop movingā iām like āiām doing my best!!!ā like believe me iām NOT trying to fuck this up#i have two sprained ligaments and thatās just what i know about. weāre here making sure i donāt have a cartilage injury as well#like excuse me if iām having trouble laying my foot perfectly flat while also leaning forward while also having my left foot (good foot)#behind me while also leaning against the x-ray machine#and at one point a random man came in and i was like HELLO????????#my butt is out who is this???????????#i was starting to feel faint from the heat and from standing for too long in an unnatural position and from just general anxiety#which thankfully was the point when she asked me to sit down and x-rayed my knee from a different position#then she just dismissed me and didnāt walk me back to my cubicle or anything lol. but i found it okay#tossed that stupid hospital gown in the hamper So happily and went to mcdonaldās to rehydrate because i damn near sweated my head off#overall it felt like a bad experience. iām just like. nowhere in the letter did it mention i would have to disrobe. i wore my big pants#just in case but i still wasnāt expecting it. like i really feel like they couldāve given me a better explanation of what was going#to happen. also why tell me to take off the tape and then just do the x-ray with it on anyway?????#stupidity. anyway if you need me iām going to angrily chew some gum and put this behind me#personal
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Chief Cultivator Wei Wuxian would not happen but it would be really funny and heād actually be really good at it.
#being good at the job is like#-have good ideas#-know who to say yes to and who to say no to#-know how to say no without pissing people off#really heād be a great chief cultivator for the same reasons that JGY was probably a great chief cultivator#which would probably make people even more nervous#thatās probably why they go for people as different from JGY as possible for the position in the wake of his death#aka LWJ in live action and NHS according to novel author#they donāt know that NHS is extremely similar to JGY bc NHS knows how to play the fuckin game
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So follow to last round for these guys, Iāve decided to not have them all get married because I just donāt think the game will be able to comprehend that even with mods lol. Instead, Ajay and Lazlo will get married since they were engaged first but Crystal will be a part of their relationship/marriage. Also Crystal is just really noncommittal in my game lmao, all her relationship related memories are red. Secondary romance shining through. Idk when Lazlo and Ajay will get married, probably next round.
Anways, word vomit over - Crystal is preggo.
#sims 2#the sims 2#ts2#nh: strangeview#hh: loner#pleasantview#strangetown#ajay loner#lazlo curious#crystal vu#me seeing all of crystal's red memories: :O#like damn bitch not even one positive memory lol
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Done the most protagonist thing in the world and had an aunt leave me a load of money in her will. It's not enough to like buy a house or anything like that but it is still a significant amount (at least 5x more than what my opa left me an probably about 10x more than what my other grandparents will be able to leave) so it's enough for me to privately transition, look into egg freezing and get decent accomodation for uni next year so uhh feeling very grateful to my late aunt and her kindness right now however much I'd obviously rather she was still with us
#I've given up on the nhs I've been on the waiting list for over 5 years#the clinic i was referred to is also near where I'm from which is several hours journey from where I'm at uni#and if I'm being honest i think it's not going to be long till the government start shutting down adult clinics and the nhs ones will go#first#i realise i am in an incredibly privileged position with this i feel very lucky because if i were to use my opa's money it would cost a#massive chunk of it#i didn't know her very well because she lived in the states but she was still my dad's sister
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